#i dont deserve what he put on me
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Dean criticizing his father | 1.20, 1.21, 1.22, 2.01, 2.03, 2.10, 2.11, 3.03, 3.10, 4.10, 4.19, 5.06, 5.13, 5.16, 5.17, 6.02, 8.18, 10.03, 12.14, 12.22
#john#i dont deserve what he put on me#parentification#compilation#good gifs with free tools challenge#1.20#1.21#1.22#2.01#2.03#2.10#2.11#3.03#3.10#4.10#4.19#5.06#5.13#5.16#5.17#6.02#8.18#10.03#12.14#12.22#dean and introspection
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the new jjk cafe fits have been living in my head . no thoughts except yuuji in a letterman
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#havent had yuuji fight me this hard in a MINUTE omg far left took forever i redrew his face and hair like 10 times minimum#he looks good now but like rly yuuji i thought we were past this i thought we were cool :((((#i put Hand On Thigh and this is how u repay me.....#sighs#whatever this took a million years longer than it should but im finally happy with it im finally done ths all that matters#i dont know what yuuji's pants look like in the official art but i ripped them as a treat fr me :)#ik theyre probably just regular jeans but i think yuuji deserves to show a lil knee#real talk tho yuuji's fit is so so good i love it so much. megumi i am ehhhhhh but it's on brand fr him#plus i like that they dress him like he's canonically cold all the time lmao yuuji in a light sweater n megumi in a thermal and puffer coat#its what they deserve
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why does every reconciliation fic go like this
#my dc posting#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanart#ugh i forgot to change tim n dick's skin colours aa i already put my drawing stuff away whatever#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#<- main offenders#no but. jason will be making some absolutely great points#ill be cheering him on like YEAH know ur fucking value good job call them the fuck out dont fall for their shit!!#then there will be one (1) event n suddenly the author pulls a complete 180#all of jason's valid issues n complaints r swept away without ever being solved#at most he's given a few flimsy excuses or justifications#n suddenly hes all happy n dandy w them#like 🤨🤨🤨 what!!!#like nothing changes nobody makes any effort but apparently one sentence going 'omg no it wasnt like that jason 😭' is enough to sweep#everything under the rug#like why have i never read a fic where anyone actually works to change. to right the wrongs theyve done. to apolgoize and do better.#aside form of course jason going 'i see now that murder is wrong i was stupid n angry for no good reason good thing the pit madness has bee#solved/managed better n i have apologized to Poor Little 10yo Baby Tim whom i hurt and traumatized So Badly how will he ever forgive me...'#'fuck my family wtf is wrong w these assholes' 'i killed the joker for like 3 minutes' 'i love you i have no further issues aside from#Teenage Angst which will be cured via being told my anger is disproportional and of course one (1) hug form my Dearest Father'#when will i read someone 'pullin the alfred card' and jason respondin w 'fuck alfred'. he deserves to be an asshole w the way hes treated..#ok ill stop now im just. very done w this stuff
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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OH MY GODDDD MY SON FINALLY GOT A NENDOROID OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODD
#SOUND THE FUKCINF ALARMS IM SO EXCITED#my boy finally getting what he deserves 😭 oh my dear#i dont have disposable income but the moment i do im getting his nendoroid his band figure all three of his figures in his hero costume#his q posket and any other figures i find of him. i alreadu have the pop figure#might also get lady nagants 2 figures (that i remember)(ones a nendoroid)(whyd she get one before my son and daughter?)#(like shes my wife and i love her but like. okay.) as a treat#denki comes first though#one day i will own all of his merch and i will be one of fhose psycho people with insanse shrines for their faves#anything for my son#i wish the program i was in let me have a job... i reallt want a summer one..#i will use ghe money to buy kaminari figures. after i have them all i will save the rest for when i go back to college. unless i remember#somethinf else i want. then nevermind.#...maybe some should be put away so i dont spend it. whatever.#denki kaminari#kaminari denki#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#denki#kaminari
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"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,
The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"
Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.
What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.
#derpy speaks#good omens#good omens 2#no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry#he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away.#meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving#idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse''#at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?''#doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once#he deserves that self respect#do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose.#everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through#but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing#is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭#but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story?#is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter?#someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it#not queued
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horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is
probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it
#imagine being starved and then you hang out with two guys who make food dangerous#imagine the dread. the rational part of his mind telling him not to eat it but his instincts are so so so hungry#horror eats the food because it genuinely looks so good but he knows he just fucked up#they make eachother so SO worse........ they are SO bad for eachother its amazing#and horror probably can't cook all that well too so he definitely needs to learn which is a whole other struggle with his eating issues#MAKE THEM BREAK UP ALREADY THEY CAUSE TOO MUCH SUFFERING FOR EACH OTHER 💔💔💔#sorry triglycercule but no 🧡 they deserve to suffer together as retribution for everything they did#sometimes i feel like this angry torturous mtt that all hate eachother is a bit too ooc#but then again..... god is it so fun to come up with ideas for the mtt to hurt eachother#its so delicious 🧡 like dust's poisoned food! horror eats more because it tastes so good#but he can feel the poison kicking in. he can feel his body slowly start to ache and his movements slow as he eats more and more#and soon he can't move. he's paralyzed and in pain in this flower field with dust#and as he starts to pass out he reaches his hand out a bit for dust. just for the smallest bit of comfort#horror's absolutely furious at him for poisoning him but dust still holds his hand back#dust holds horror in his arms with a smile as they lay in the flower field enjoying the moment#as if you didn't just fucking poison the fuck but whatever that's horrordust for you!#dont worry horror gets him back by stealing papyrus's scarf and ripping some of it off to wear in front of dust#he sews a little patch of the scarf onto his jacket and dust is staring at that shit. that is a TAUNT#yeah this is papyrus's scarf. what are you gonna do about me ripping some of it huh? poison me AGAIN???#theyve all grown tolerances for different poisons because the mtt genuinely cannot stop trying to kill eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#god i struggle to differentiate because hc and rant so much because i swap around and change hcs so frequently that there isnt consistency#ive now decided that rants MUST be substantially longer and less put together to be a rant and not a hc. and that shall be DECREED#utmv#sans au
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guys I cant keep lying by omission I do Have to say . it's not that I dont ship qyz with anyone its literally just that I do Nawt like seeing him with yy to be so honest with you
#j.txt#SORRY IM FRINGE AND NICHE AND NOT EVEN A TRUE HATER. I like yy a lot also just Not With Him yknow#also like. oh this is so embarrasing but its going to be revealed eventually anyways so fuck it#um. qyz is the single character whose ever gotten me into ocxcanon ahaha[<laughing like a man expecting tomatoes and boos off the stage]#I KNOW ITS CRINGE I KNOW /EYE/ AM CRINGE . BUT A MAN MUST BE ALLOWED TO HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP HIM GOING YES?#I just think I could give him what he deserves and more....... I crafted him a loving narrative parallel and even in some ways foil.....#[sniffles pathetically]I just dont talk abt it publicly much bc honest2god if ppl hate my oc I Will take it personal. bleeding heart & all#but Im getting so brave about it and like. I do genuinely want to share some with others bc thee facking worldbuilding I am having to do#to make this shit work. tian AH .and it gives me excuse to just headcanon a ton of unrelated stuff for qyz himself so yknow#Still putting in my Work as a minor underdeveloped character stan💪#oh forgot 2 say Also its very rare but I Have seen qyz shipped w other canon characters and liked it !! like sqx which tbh is kindof cute<3
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It is actually insane that Sam and John have this long heartfelt bonding conversation in 1.20 Dead Man's Blood about how John was just scared Sam would get hurt if he was out of John's eye line and that's why he was so mad he went to Stanford—he just wanted Sam to be safe. Then Dean comes into the motel room and John immediately enacts a plan to use Dean as vampire bait.
#1.20#season 1#we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone#<- Sam and John tag#i dont deserve what he put on me#<- Dean and John tag#dont objectify me!
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So as a 911 fan does I watched Love Actually last night because i wanted to see why tommy loved this movie so much. Usually im not a big fan of rom coms but hey it couldnt hurt + its my birthday today and i dont have to do anything so i stayed up all night watching it. Anyways 8/10 movie a little cheesy at parts but its nice and i enjoyed it.
Until we got to the scene where the prime minister (played by hugh grant) meets the us president (sadly played by notorious asshole billy bob fuckin thornton)
Do not ask me how many cuss words i screamed at my tv when this son of a bitch came on
Billy Bob I ever see u again its on sight - everyone from home
Anyways rant over i enjoyed this movie a lot and i get why its tommy’s favorite the writers did not miss. Also i rly rly wanna see a movie date with tommy and buck watching this it would be so cute and it would make up for that date.
#Now for a little context. I am an Arkansan.#Chances are when you ask one of us what we think about mr. Billy Bob Thorton it aint gonna be a pretty response#With my area its even worse#let me put it simply hes a piece of shit and treats his family like shit#i personally know his family#and they dont deserve that#so if i ever see him again ill ring that son of a bitchs neck out#tommy kinard#love actually#911 abc#bucktommy#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#anti billy bob thornton#fuck that guy
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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sometimes my parents make me want to commit violent crimes
#mine#sorry for putting this on your dash im just angry & have no one i can really bother with this#my brother said he wasnt sure if he wanted to come with us to a castle tomorrow#but hes too young to be home alone all day#so i went to tell my parents bc i sidnt think they wanted to learn that tomorrow morning#instead of even asking why they immediately started with the passive agressive comments#and in an annoyed tone going 'i just dont get what could be so bad about a day of fun with family'#first of all he didnt even say he wasnt goint#second shut the fuck up#he cant speak anymore & is crying#i offer him a bunch of alternatives while my father insults each one and makes it sound ridiculous#while my brother types on his phone#my father starts ranting at my parent about it#as if my brother isnt right fucking there and also 11 years old#im so happy he isnt coming with us#like yeah i never see him but the times i do are always so horrible that im kinda glad about it#he avoids us like the plague & we avoid him back#my parent is fine most of the time#but never in situations like this#if other people are upset in a way that inconviences them theyre shit about it too#anything related to not doing good in school also#and like im fine#im upset sometimes sure but i know i dont deserve this & i can deal with it fine#i dont think my brother deals with it very well though#so im very worried about him#especially bc i think high school is going to be a big struggle for him#possibly more than me#and tbh i think im more of a parental figure to him than our actual parents
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what did they put in fma??? This show made me cry over a serial killer??? Like???
#fma spoilers#fma 03 spoilers#Fullmetal alchemist spoilers#NUMBER 48 MADE ME CRY.#Good lord#I'm#What did they put in fma#Like alchemy is real and someone is using it to make me cry#Dont get me started over the Al's memory conflict THAT shit is HEARTBREAKING#Fuck Barry the chopper fr#Ugh kmsssssss I hate this show#On a positive note greed is back!!!! Funny man disgusting thing I hate him so much#Rhrghrhrgrgrgrggrgrggrgrgrh rattles the bars of my cage#Fma#fullmetal alchemist#Fma 03#fullmetal alchemist 2003#Ngl this blog is starting out as me live posting about fma03#AND PLEASE DONT TALK ABOUT THE SCENE AT THE LAB.#WHERE HES ALMOST ABOUT TO MAKE THE STONE AND DOESNT.#CRYIBG SOBBING TEARS#HATE#MY POOR BOY HE DOESNT DESERVE ALL THIS#ED AND AL MY BOYS
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not to be insane but Stephanie Brown is so underrated and i really do hate to say its misogyny but. well. It is.
#stephanie brown#batman#spoiler#this WILL get me shot but. steph is everything fanon tim wishes he was#i think i could write a whole dissertation on how if steph was a guy people would love him#like. obviously Some Men In Comics will not be happy with any female characters that aren't background wives or daughters#but this is so apparent with fandom that its kinda. boggling#know i shouldnt read too deep into it bc duke and cas get done dirty as well#(duke and cas are whole other rants. i love them both dearly and i DO think Cas should be Batmans heir bc she is literally the Ideal Fit#while WFA is great but has also reduced peoples perception of Duke to a reader insert that is still learning the ropes instead of like.#the robin gang leader who has been studying since birth to defeat the riddler. who has powers.#duke and cas are kinda insane and deserve that recognition is all so i dont go into another rant)#the way that people are so happy to have the batboys be complicated people (even when they reduce them down to core traits) but not steph#she's always the fun one#her struggle with being a completely average teenager fighting to be recognized and her struggles with self worth gets put to the side#oh for what? waffle jokes? yeah okay#ppl would be dickriding her so hard if she had an actual dick i KNOW it#ppl would be making tiktok mitski edits of her
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"Oh General, what did you witness the night of the tragedy?
Oh General, could you have even known that your inability to act doomed the world?"
The Army of the Primordial Flame, the only strictly military guild- working directly under the Fourth Overseer, has been known for its expansionist expeditions throughout the world. Expedition "AURORA" was one like many. To lead such an expedition means your strategic skill has been acknowledged by the Fourth Overseer himself, the greatest honour. Gale was never really religious, he didn't care much about the Fourth's vision of the world. He just liked the prestige and importance that came with his role. And he was good at it.
The expedition was successful, only taking 4 months with no casualties. Back at Farport, he had managed to return with all 560 soldiers and mercenaries contracted from the Pharus Guild alive. Their trip back to Arkhan would have taken 3 days by boat. As Volkan had warned him; "It would be the best course of action, after all I have good reason to believe you might get attacked by enemy guilds on your way back. Keep an eye out for ambushes". The god couldn't accompany them as he had other matters to attend to. But Gale had other plans. His wife had given birth to their first kid just 2 months prior and his home, Spithol, was less than a day away. Sure it was the opposite direction than their destination, but surely it should be safe. There was no way any other guilds could have possibly known about the detour. And he missed his family so much.
They were at the town gates by evening. A joyous occasion, worthy of festivities. By night an entire festival was ready for both the civilians and the soldiers to enjoy. A celebration of the success and safe return. In honour of the hero of the town Gale. What later turned into the event known as the Unyielding Flame Massarce.
After a few hours of time with his family, plenty of food and a couple of drinks, movement away from the venue caught Gale's eye. A little drunk but still aware enough of his surroundings he ventured deeper into the dark alleyways of the town. At that point people were either fast asleep in their houses or still celebrating at the centre of the town, so the only light by now was coming from the clear starlit sky. A moment of peaceful quiet. The general slowly breathed in. The scent of the night humidity and- gunpowder?
What a terrible time to be drunk. After investigation, as much as one can investigate when under the influence, he realised that most of the town seemed to have been trapped. But no sign of culprits- everyone he had seen up to that point were people he knew. None of them could have done this, right? He ran to the town walls, towards the gates. Frozen shut via an impenetrable substance. Upon further investigation he came to the grim realisation that they were all trapped inside for good. As he looked for potential suspects or ways out if the worst was to happen he came across one of the people contracted from the Pharus guild. "We are in trouble- have you seen anyone suspicious around town?". A pause. It was too dark for Gale to read that man's expression. "No- not that I am aware-" "You need to warn the rest of the crew, we have to find a way to evacuate everyone" another pause. "Sure".
After minutes pass with no news from the crew or any results from his investigation, he headed towards the centre himself. And in the distance, in the sky, he could clearly see smoke. Mind racing he ran towards the festival. Tripping on his way back- what a terrible time to be drunk- he came across that same mercenary holding a torch. Making eye contact they both froze. Adam- he thinks that was his name, stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. Gale tightened the grip on his sword. He thought he understood what was happening in front of him. He thought for a moment that of course this was happening. He thought of killing the man in front of him. But he hesitated. At a standstill he couldn't help but think how much he just wanted to see his wife and daughter. The sound of explosions and loud screaming brought him back to reality. And he ran towards his home. Letting the man go.
It didn't take long for the fire to spread throughout the city. It didn't take long for the laughter of joy from the festivities to be turned into screams for help. It didn't take long for the smoke to overtake all the senses. Chaos and confusion spread. Gale tried directing his crew to help the people calm down- but where would they go? There was no escape, none that he could find. It didn't take long till the men in his crew who weren't consumed by the flames starting fighting each other. And all Gale could think about at that moment was how badly he wished to see his wife and daughter. He ran and ran, burnt corpses surrounding him. The smell of smoke and burnt flesh slowly choking him. His armour suffocating him, oh how badly he wanted to get rid of it. But it was his only protection from the fire. And he ran as towering flames grazed him. And he ran tripping on collapsed people, some still conscious enough to scream in pain. Maybe they were all cursing him at that moment. But all he could think about was how badly he wished to see his wife and daughter.
When he finally arrived at his home, it was completely ablaze. "Lyn?!" He shouted, choking on some of the smoke. No response. He jumped inside and looked around. He couldn't see anything but fire and smoke. Parts of the roof had already collapsed. And as he walked forward the floor beneath him crumbled and he fell in the basement, which had been untouched from the fire. As he was attempting to stand up again more debris fell on him, knocking him unconscious.
Hours passed before he finally got up to the first light of dawn. He slowly stood up, and made his way upstairs. By now his house had been completely burnt. Looking outside there were still fires burning some of the houses but he couldn't hear anything or anyone else. He walked further inside the house. A burnt corpse hunched over the what used to be a cradle. Ah. He sat there for what felt like ages, staring at the gruesome sight in front of him. He got to live out of sheer dumb luck. Just dumb luck.
When evening started approaching he just walked out. Very few fires were still burning in the distance, only some smoke now visible. He started looking around the streets and houses for anyone alive. He made sure to count them all. 2, 5, 10, 27, 42, 75, 100, 341, 784, and the number kept growing, and growing. People he could no longer recognise, people he had grown up with, people he had fought with, people he had so horribly failed. 1207 civilians dead. 558 soldiers dead. 1 missing person. Only survivor- Gale himself. By night he reached the gates of the town. Still completely frozen shut. And so he dug.
What followed after was a haze. He just walked for days, dwelling on that night. Ways he could have prevented it, ways it could have been better. Plagued by images of that night, all the victims. Why did they have to die. Why did he have to live.
A chuckle echoed in his ears. He looked up and saw a figure of legend. At least he thought he saw Her. It had to be. White robe, blindfold, the three halos decorating Her head, the pale hair and complexion. The doting Mother, Creation, Amatheia. She was smiling at the man. A smile that invoked fear. She reached Her hand out. The Witness of the end, of fates worse than death. And the verdict was decided.
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Have some stills I like
(for the previous one i like both cleaned up and sketch versions a lot)
#arterna#video#docas#dreams of copper and snow#docas gale#flashing#ok i am not sure what trigger warnings i should put like implied child death? mentions of burnt corpses? i suppose#tw implied child death#tw mention of death#tw mention of burning#I love my silly little csmp au I love how Gale just cant catch a break#tfw you take such a massive L you become god's specialest little boy#it has horrible consequences#actually I don't think I have ever drawn pre-apocalypse Gale aside from a SINGLE sketch in my notes....#also i hate how sympathetic Gale comes off in this video because even back then he sucked#he just hadn't lost his mind yet. But he still sucked as a person#dont let his beautiful blue eyes and pitiful look fool you- he WAS a prick even back then#it's just that- as much as he was a prick he still didnt deserve watching everyone die horrible deaths yknow#and then being cursed with visions of doom and then fired by your boss (literal god) in the worst way possible (you turn into a monster)#this thing took me days to finish it is not cute ueueue
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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