#and specifically about endeavor who did objectively horrible horrible things

[lostwanderer42]

Been doing a lot of thinking lately with peoples obsessions with punishing fictional characters who did bad things and i dont have any coherent thoughts yet but i am like. Are yall ok

[catnherthoughts]

retelling of the night of 11/12-11/13

after mentioning i write and how this story would be an interesting topic to indulge upon, i was told to write about it, so this is for him.

11/12 in itself start to finish was chaotic, from my friend telling me mutual friend of ours coerced her into doing things that she wasn't comfortable with, my romantic endeavor at the time telling me he wasn't ready to fully commit to anything, said mutual friend being rude and odd, many things were to lead up to this moment.

I was getting ready with pure rage in my heart, who was he to even imply that i could even want to possess him in that way, and why wasn't i seen as such a prize that he wouldn't lay down his life to have me be his. after verbally expressing my anger by myself in my room and drafting a message full of pure rage, I decided that I would use this anger to be the hottest woman on earth, and not just hot headed. I was determined to make something of this anguish that i threw anger over. the mentality was, "if he doesn't see my worth, im done with him, im on to the next.". im genuinely so sick of not being worshipped by men and instead being treated like an annoying pet.

regardless, i left my dorm looking hotter than hell and being drunker than necessary. me and my friend screaming about how terrible men are and how each of our respective horrible men were... well horrible. walking to this frat party, i had the objective of finding someone new, or even multiple new people. anything to get the taste of him out fo my mouth. we walk in belligerently drunk, conversing about littering and get more drinks.

the 10 minutes or so that i did spend pre... him were just spent dancing, feeling too drunk for my own good, talking nonsense to my sober friends, bonding with my equally as drunk companion over men being horrible, getting another drink, and trying my best to have a great night.

then, i saw him. he was dancing with a friend of his, i forgot what sound it was to specifically but i do remember seeing him, looking away, taking a double take at how pretty he was ( important word choice ), looking away, and then thinking. thinking and stealing glances at him. simply just thinking about the possibilities with this man i knew nothing about. in that moment i decided to let him know that he was in fact, pretty. tapped him on the shoulder and let him know. I could tell he was pretty gone by his response and a visible lack of understanding of what i had just said but after that i decided to simply let the situation go. let the universe do what it needed to do. it certainly wasn't the first time i've complimented a frat guy so i was not expecting much to come after that. after a few minutes of him dancing with a group, holding onto the ceiling which i did admittedly think was pretty stupid, and simple being a frat dude, he tapped me. this is not what i was expecting. he seemed like he wanted to tell me something and that he was on his way to another area of the house. he pulls me in to tell me that i was also very pretty. in that moment, a spark went off in my inebriated mind. i thought, in this moment, nothing is real and i can do whatever i would like in this life, even this man next to me. so in the very next moment, i asked if we could kiss.

earlier in this night, i had promised myself to kiss someone. this was my shot, he said sure and we kissed. i was shocked that my boldness got me to kiss such a beautiful man. and in no way was i going to let anything pull me out of this moment. i will admit his kissing style is very admirable and very compatible with mine. we kissed through many songs, sometimes we pulled away from each other to admire a certain song or simply admire each others presence. I did end up having to ask his name, out of curiosity and just a general feeling that i should know. he told me his name ( one i will not be sharing with tumblr dot com i apologize ) and i was in a bit of shock because i was not expecting that name to be attached to him. i couldn't explain why but it just was surprising. i told him my name and we continued to kiss. i remembered periodically looking over to my friends like :0. due to the fact that i was very much surprised that this was real. i will say that i have a habit when in lustful situations like this to feel as if nothing is real and im simply in my head. there is nothing actually happening in the outside world and it is simply my imagination running wild at an odd point in time. i indulged in this dream for as long as possible, dancing with him, continually having our mouths conjoined in a very pleasing way, touching, being touched. was very poetic in a girly way.

eventually though, i had to acknowledge the reality of my existence and go back to my friends. i ended up asking him for his number. this was very intentional. do i remember the intention? no. but there was a purpose. i texted him that very moment so that he could also have my number and then chatted with my friends about what i had missed and the situation i was just in. i assumed that i was there with him for about 40 minutes, not too long but long enough for me to acknowledge it was a long kiss. i was wrong, very wrong. my judgement was lapsed. i was informed by a sober pal that we had been kissing for two hours straight. wow. that news hit me a bit too hard. two hours. how could his man and our enchange of lips be so captivating that two hours of my life felt like 15 minutes. love was felt in that moment. i had moved on from whoever the fuck held my soul just a few hours before. no way could i kiss him for two hours straight. i ended up going upstairs to breathe air that had some aspect of freshness, drunkenly talked about him, worried about my hair and makeup that was all over the place, saw him a bit, and then went back down to party a bit more. at this point, i started missing him, you'd think that after being in his arms for two hours straight, i'd be okay for 20 minutes or even 20 hours without him but no, i am my mothers daughter.

I saw him at the bar and convinced my other drunk companion that if she went back to the man she was kissing earlier i would go back to mine as well. he was talking about drinks and i did not care. there was a pint where i drank straight form the nozzle of the jungle juice pitcher and the after, admitted i just wanted to kiss him again, he said that was fair and then we went back at it, and it was equally as captivating. i fear there are few moments in life where i can escape the world like i can during a kiss. eventually me and my friends had to leave, due to the party ending and i felt as if i left half of my soul at the pi kapp house. humorous statement i know.

I drunkenly walked back. actually, a better term for what i did was stumbled as i was being held by a semi sober friend. i was just conversing with my drunk friend about how we both made out with frat guys and reflecting on our coping skills. when i finally made it back to my building, i spent some time on a friends floor, looking like a complete mess. thinking about him and a text that was sent to me from him asking me if we could hang out. there was no doubt in my mind about letting him stay over, since my roommate was gone and i was infatuated with this man. there was some resistance to the idea from my sober counterparts but i simply was not letting my independence as a drunk teen-adult be compromised.

we talked about going back to his but in no way was i leaving my dorm, i had already gotten back so it was either he came over to me or i passed out somewhere within the building. he was fond of the idea of coming over so i ran over to the communal showers at 1:30 am and took a very impressive shower for someone who was out of it.i got dressed and cleaned to the best of my ability before he told me he was on his way and then, waiting to be let in. complete shock arose to me and i just ran out of my room to the wrong entrance, i ended up going back to my room just to get my key and spray some perfume so i smelled nice for whatever was going to happen.

i saw him outside, led him into the building and simultaneously saw him in proper lighting for the first time. somehow he was cuter than before. at that moment, for no reason whatsoever i became into conversational cat. i asked him about himself, due to the fact that we didn't do much talking. he told me that he is a poly sci major and that he's a sophomore. the amount of relief that came when i knew for sure he wasn't older than 19.

then began our conversation. i went into this just thinking that we'd be talking for maybe 20 minutes and then we'd continue what we were doing at the frat. just to get to know each other and everything. oh boy was i wrong. what started as self introductions turned into me getting to know all about him. his relations within the frat, frat dynamics, his hometown, what he like and disliked, his family, his hobbies, priorities, so much about this man, i also indulged some information about myself but nothing too revealing. at one point, he checked the time and we had been talking for two hours. we were both in complete shock. it felt like it had only been about 30 minutes, i guess thats a common theme with us. time flying by. we both admitted multiple times that this was very unlike what we were expecting. at that point, i thought we would go into something more physically involved, but we just kept talking, the conversation was captivating and i felt like i was just learning more and more about this man who i just saw as pretty. we ended up reflecting on out time at the party and how it did not seem as long as it was and the minor details that were not us kissing each other, such as a whole drink being spilled on us and someone yelling " get a room ". was very nice to be able to talk about our experiences with each other in a very honest way. through the conversation i found myself sobering up and really wanting to get to know this man. eventually my back started to hurt so we laid down and i put on midnight gospel. very good show on netflix btw. we talked about the show and some other things that i cannot seem to remember. he started to talk about how he dislikes ketchup and that became a very big conversation. at this point it had been like 4 hours of conversation and delusion was starting to kick in. i started talking about how he needed to face his fears of ketchup and even threatening him with it at some points. we talked about my infamous hate of burgers. we talked about ice cream flavor and how utterly ridiculous it was that his favorite was just vanilla. we did all this as the sun came up and we then talked about the sleeping people, those who would be insane to get up at the hour we were at, at this point it was reaching 7 am and looking at those passing by through my window. we also got indulged in the show and talked a bit about the philosophical principles that it showed.

there was a certain point in our conversation where i sat up, i do not remember what for but i simply did. then, a few minutes later i yawned. i think he took this as me subliminally telling him to leave. while this wasn't what i meant, i was not going to tell this man to stay, just because i don't want to have to ask a man to stay with me ever again. so he announced he was going to take his leave and walk back to where he lived and we said our goodbyes as i walked him out.

i fell asleep at 8 am, went to eat a waffle, went back to sleep, and woke up around 6pm to a text from him telling me how he had a good time and how he wants to see me again, i told him i'd like that and another meetup is in the works as we speak. im surprised he is still interested in me not going to lie. from a mans perspective, going to a girls place after kissing for two hours just to talk for 6 hours, would not be a funnest time. or at least thats how i think men think.

of course i cant get him off of my mind now and with not even a 6 hour break, i have a new man to obsess over. because thats what me as cat does. i just thought i'd write about this experience not only because it gave me inspiration to log back into tumblr, but because i think it would be nice to be able to recall this night, regardless with how things with me and him go. im sure ill update as this goes on, for now, goodnight <3

xoxo cat

[dicapriho]

Important quotes to take from this article, that sums up perfectly why Daenarys’ treatment in season 8 was so heartbreaking..(long post with bullet points for easy reading):

Game of Thrones is "a world where women are often treated as disposable objects, Daenerys outwitted and overpowered her male enemies. As the sole protagonist in her own storyline, far from the rest of the characters, she was set up to be one of the few unambiguously [female] heroic figures in the series."

"in just a few episodes, she quickly transformed from a woman who has prided herself on saving the downtrodden to one who burns the innocent."

"[Daenerys’] treatment this season from the makeup of the writers’ room: The writers and directors on the show have always been overwhelmingly male, and women were shut out of both writing and directing jobs for every episode in season 8."

"Throughout her life, Daenerys has shown a commitment to justice...She freed the slaves in Meereen... When Drogon burned one child, she chained up her other two dragons, leaving herself more vulnerable...She put her fight for the Iron Throne on pause to fight in Jon’s war against the White Walkers [in the North where she knew she would feel unwelcome]."

"She was called the “Breaker of Chains” for a reason. When she misstepped, we forgave her, as we forgave, say, Tyrion for strangling Shae." [And Jon for killing a child for betraying him!]

“Daenerys has certainly used “Dracarys” to punish plenty of people during her reign... she always gave some compelling reason for doing so.”

She first used her dragon’s fire to kill a warlock who tried to imprison her, and again against a slaver who tried to cheat her...she crucified all the masters in retaliation for them having killed slave children — but they had killed children...She burned all the Khals who were threatening to keep her as a slave or rape her, or both."

Dany’s advisors gave awful advice:

"Daenerys agreed to make Tyrion her hand because Tyrion said he “knew things”...specifically, he claimed to know how to make alliances in Westeros and exploit people’s hate of Cersei in order to put Daenerys on the throne. Except, Tyrion did…none of that."

"...when did Tyrion convince a single lord that if they joined their side, they could get a new title and nice castle and see the land’s most hated woman [Cersei] burned to a crisp? Never."

"...what Tyrion did do: Try to cut a deal with slavers that would have kept slavery legal for a longer period of time, until Daenerys decided to burn their ships instead; convince Dany not to fly to King’s Landing and burn the Red Keep, which would have resulted in far fewer Kings Landing deaths; come up with the horrible plan to capture a wight that almost got Jon killed and lost Daenerys a dragon and still didn’t earn Cersei’s allegiance; convince Daenerys to trust Cersei, who has never proven herself to be trustworthy; forget to remind Daenerys that Euron and the Iron Fleet would almost certainly be waiting near Dragonstone, thus losing Daenerys another dragon; free Jaime from captivity in an effort to help both his brother and Cersei escape death at Daenerys’ hands..."

"Don’t even get me started on Varys, who didn’t write a single letter to a single lord to gain intel against Cersei or an ally for Dany but did find time to spread the word about Jon’s true parentage...”

“Tyrion and Varys were supposed to be her helpers. They failed her. Instead of owning up to this and realizing the part they have both played, Tyrion and Varys begin to worry that Daenerys is a flawed ruler exactly because she’s losing faith in them over their terrible decisions."

On the Sansa v Dany struggle:

"...The writers of the show cited much more petty reasons for their [Sansa and Dany's] conflict: “[Daenerys is] also very pretty, and how much does that factor in? Sansa starts off this season very suspicious and not at all friendly with Dany.”"

Her Isolation:

"In the last few episodes, Daenerys finds herself envying the love that Jon’s people feel for him...it’s destabilizing for her to arrive in Westeros and find that people are not eager to see her. Why, exactly, the Northerners don’t appreciate her dragons — without which they could not have defeated the Army of the Dead...."

"Daenerys rightfully glowers at Jon as his countrymen celebrate the fact that he mounted a dragon a couple of times when Dany has been riding one for years [Not to mention she is the first Targaryen in hundreds of years to have successfully mothered & raised/trained dragons]...In a mission to make Dany feel as isolated as possible, the show killed off her closest advisors, Jorah and Missendei."

"Daario is controlling Slaver’s Bay in her absence. Yara Greyjoy is sworn to her. In theory, the new Prince of Dorne would be allied with her since Daenerys struck a pact with Ellaria Sand. Daenerys could have called on any of these allies when she faced Cersei’s army but didn’t — simply because the show needed her to be alone ."

On Missandei:

"Game of Thrones fridged Missandei. There’s no other way to put it. Her capture and death happens just so Daenerys would feel isolated. The fact that the writers turned the only major black female character on the show into a device to motivate Daenerys feels even more cringeworthy."

"The fairly quick transition from complicated hero to totally mad villain leaned heavily on an oft-repeated line: “every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin”. But should Daenerys’ Targaryen blood necessarily doom her? After all, Jon is half Targaryen, too. So why does he get to sit comfortably on the other side of the coin?...The show has long been obsessed with various characters’ struggles to shake their family’s legacies. Tyrion killed his own father and joined Team Daenerys, only to betray Daenerys in order to help his family again." 

"Daenerys has long tried to differentiate herself from her father, the Mad King, only to become her father’s daughter."

"...the show’s most recent plotting flaws was Varys’ rushed decision that Daenerys was a terrible enough queen that he would endeavor to poison her — quite a stretch for a man who served under King Joffrey...Remember that Varys once wanted to put Dany’s brother Viserys, a demonstrable megalomaniac, on the Iron Throne."

"...when Varys found out Jon was a Targaryen, he began openly conspiring to undermine and overthrow Daenerys...He accused her of being paranoid while simultaneously conspiring against her, which means she had every right to be suspicious...Again, it’s a failure of the show that the man who was once revered as Master of Whispers walked up to Jon in the middle of a crowded beach and suggested he usurp Daenerys."

"Other rulers we think of as heroes in this story have executed men for less than attempted murder: Robb Stark executed Rickard Karstark for killing the Lannister hostages, against Robb’s orders...Ned Stark executed someone for abandoning the Night’s Watch...Jon Snow executed the men who succeeded in murdering him (before he was resurrected) including Olly, a young boy."

"...Jon betrayed Daenerys’ trust by telling his family, and Tyrion betrayed her — twice. Davos also betrayed her too for totally inexplicable reasons by helping Tyrion smuggle Jaime to Cersei...Her advisor’s lie to her and gaslit her, plain and simple. And yet the way that Daenerys’ destruction of King’s Landing is shot, we are supposed to see her as the irrational one and Tyrion as one of the victims of her terror."

"...either due to time restrictions or lack of source material or just plain lack of creativity, the show took shortcuts this season...And those shortcuts tended to rely on the laziest of sexist stereotypes about crazed, power-hungry women."

"Maureen Ryan at the Hollywood Reporter put it best: “Inescapably, infuriatingly, what we’re left with is apparently the central message of Game of Thrones: Bitches are crazy.” "

"...Had [Dany's] paranoia been seeded many episodes ago and grown over the course of several seasons, it would be an epic Shakespearean tragedy. Instead we must infer this descent based on her frizzy hair."

"Worse, the moment when she seemingly decides to rule with fear, not love, comes after she’s romantically rejected by Jon...” [Suggestible that the lack of requited love is a strong enough reason for a level-minded strong woman to fall into a pit of craziness, despite all the good she has ever done and vows to continue doing..]

"Varys suggested that Jon would be a better ruler exactly because he did not want to rule. Figures in mythology and history ranging from Moses to George Washington to Harry Potter have been heralded as heroes because they came to power reluctantly. Those figures also tend to be male. How do our stories cast women eager for power? As evil queens. And now Daenerys is a cliché."

"There have been a lot of problematic characterizations of women this season, as revealed by the writers’ own commentary surrounding the episodes...Sansa essentially parroted what the writers have been saying for years about her rape by Ramsay Bolton — that it made her stronger...and the showrunners called Cersei, one of the smartest, most vicious characters on Thrones, “just a girl who needs the comfort of a man..”

"...in the end, Daenerys cycled through several tired stereotypes: Another evil, power-hungry queen literally shot with a dragon’s wings behind her; the crazy lady that a noble man has to heroically overcome..."

Like Cersei, Dany was a character introduced in the first episode, who ws incredible meaningful in the narrative of Game of Thrones. Instead of going out with a bang, Daenerys’ death wasn’t a bang like she truly deserved, but a whimper and forgotten to emphasise the man’s conquer and victory.

[studiopoprocks]

Whenever you get to it... fluff alphabet with shoto? Maybe? Please? 💜💜

Todoroki Shoto Fluff Alphabet

A - Affection (How do they show how much they care in their day to day lives)

It’s pretty obvious that Shoto hadn’t really been shown any sort of affection before you. But once this boy gets some, he’s addicted. He’s almost always touching you in some way get your mind out of the gutter. From hand holding, to cuddling, Todo will be beisde you, and enjoying the fact you’re with him. He always makes sure to tell you that you’re his angel, and that he loves you. It’s the little thing that count.

B - Before (How did they act before the relationship/ what was the relationship like?)

Met at a hero’s gala, and snuck out together. You both agreed that whenever you’re dragged along with your pro parent, you’d met up. Usually ending up in deep conversations, in the middle of a big fancy garden. You both kept your distance physically, before you actually got into a relationship, but emotionally; you’ve always had a deep convection.

C - Comfort (How they act when their S/O is sad)

Now you’d assume he is completely clueless on this type of thing. WRONG! This boy can tell the moment you start to feel down, instantly going in for a hug. But if that doesn’t work, or he finds you crying he’ll go through his mental checklist. Firstly wrapping you up in any nearest blanket, hugging you while wrapping it around your frame. Then wraps his arms around you while you burry your face in his neck. Boy would never force you tell him whats wrong, but will always listen and offer his advice if you want him to.

D - Dawn (What are mornings like?)

Always wake up together. Even if one of you has to get up earlier. You take turns making breakfast if it’s the weekend, but it’s usually more like lunch beacause any days off you get is spent cuddling in bed, watching whatever is on TV. Once he becomes a Pro though, you’ll absolutely refuse to get out of bed at 4:30am, but you’ll always wake up to talk and kiss him goodbye.

E - Embarrassed (How does their S/O make them flustered? How do they return the favour?)

(This was a specific request so I’m going to make it longer)

Shoto has a very stoic face, however it’s easy to tell when he’s flustered, just examine his quirk. When you first started talking, he refused to left you hold his right hand. Due to the fact that you had unexpectedly grabbed it once, and he almost ended up burning your delicate skin. Anything could make him fluster and act up. Conpliments, PDA, kisses, even you just acting cute. (Strangely he doesn’t get flustered with hugs) it’s kinda funny to watch the boy accidentally light his shirt on fire, or end up encasing his hand in ice. On the opposite side though, he returns the favour ten fold. He doesn’t mean to, he’s so blunt that it doesn’t register to him that it might make you flustered. He’ll say things like ‘I live for you, you’re the reason I want to get up in the morning’ out of complete nowhere! He has a bad habit of doing it at fan signings, cuz he’s getting so many questions about your relationship. ‘My favourite thing about her? Obviously everything.’ Complete and utter straight face the entire time. That doesn’t mean to say that he doesn’t enjoy you’re super cute blushing face, or how you get when you’re flustered.

F - First date (Were did you go and what did you do for your first date together)

You never had an official ‘first date’ due to meeting at hero galas. However, the day you two started dating was kinda like it. It had only been a few weeks since school started, but here you were at another gala. Shoto had quickly found you, walking with you to the garden, not too far from the hall. The music was so loud that you could hear it all the way from outside, but it just added to the ambience. Of course you had snuck food from the hall, making yourself a a makeshift picnic under the starts. It was calming, and you even slow danced at one point, laughing as you enjoyed each other’s company.

G - Gentle (How Gentle are they with their S/O? Or do they like to rough house with them?)

Shoto genuinely believes you are made out of porcelain. Yes, he knows you can handle yourself, but he’s still not risking anything. One of his worst fears is turning into his father, which includes being rough with his s/o. He will still train with you, without holding back, but you best be ready for him to check every inch of your skin afterwards.

H - Habit (What do they repeatally do in the relationship?)

Todo has this habit of always making sure you’re at a comfortable temperature. It stems from always wanting to look after you, and plus if you need an adjustment, he would happily cuddle you to the right temperature. If he notices a small shiver, he’ll instantly offer up his jacket. If you start sweating, boi is already looking up the nearest ice cream store. But nothing works better then him regulating your temperature himself.

I - Intreating (What do they find fascinating about their S/O? And vise versa?)

It’s kinda sad, but a big draw to you was because you totally excepted him dispite all flaws or scars. He find it so amazing how when even talking about villains, you never talk negatively about looks, or thing that they can’t control. Only about their crimes or morals. He cherishes how you look beyond the surface, and wonders how he got so lucky.

J - Jealousy (How easily do they get jealous, and how do they deal with it)

Now Todoroki doesn’t get jelouse. Let me rephrase that; Todoroki is good at hiding that he’s jealous. He completely trusts you, and knows you wouldn’t cheat on him. He’ll let you deal with any clingy fans, HOWEVER if he notices that you need help. RIP to whoever is crushing on you. Will come up right beside you, left arm protectively over your shoulder. That’s around the time any creep starts noticing the ice creeping up their leg. ‘Something you wanna say to MY girlfriend?’ Que death glare until they leave.

K - Knick Knack (A random momento they still have from their S/O)

You had accidentally left one of your favourite mugs at Shotos, and of course he used it every chance he got. In until he broke it. He had felt horrible, but told you right away, after cleaning up the mess. Dispite his knowledge though, you had glued it back together and painted gold along the cracks. The reason being: ‘I read somewhere that people repaire broken objects with gold, showing how it adds to the beauty of it’ of course you count use it to drink, but it turned into a plant pot. Along with his favourite thing in his room.

L - Location (Favourite place to go on dates)

Loves taking you to do nature related things. His go to is a clearing that looks over the city, you’ll often have picnics there, then stargaze for a bit. It’s quite nice, and not too far from his place. His sister had shown it to him when he was younger, and he went there to clear his mind every so often. So now he clears his head with you, a win win for both of you because he makes the best picnics!

M - Movie (What cliché movie trope has actually happened in the relationship?)

You ever see those movies where everyone is at a big dance, but everyone is wearing masks? Two strangers (who actually know eachother) meet, and dance the night away. Well this happened to the clueless pair of you. You guys basically confided in eachother, telling one another about the crush developing for each other. Both only realizing it the next time you saw eachother, promising to wear the same outfit as last time. XD

N - Nickname (What do they call their S/O?)

Names he calls his S/O:

‘Snowflake’ doesn’t mean it in a weak sort of way.

‘My love’ often used around Endeavor

‘Beautiful Star’ refers back to the first date thing.

Names his S/O calls him:

‘Cuddle bug’ cuz boi is touch starved.

‘My other half... and half’ started off as a joke, due to Bakugo. Ultimately it ended up as a reoccurring name of affection.

O - On Cloud Nine (How they act when they are in love/ Is it obvious to everyone around them?)

Todoroki is a very stoic person, so it’s not very obvious. Heck, half the class didn’t even realize you two were dating, until Shoto started getting protective of you due to something Mineta said. But once they knew, it became so obvious. He would follow you around, making sure you were okay after every training session, and even genuinely smile on a daily basis. You’re both super attentive to eachother, and seemed to always be holding hands!

P - PDA (Do they like showing off their s/o, or are a little shy to kiss in public)

Probably the most you’ll get is constant hand holding. He likes knowing your always beside him, and vise versa. Usually fingers interlaced, on Shoto’s right side, for two reasons. 1. Your hands won’t get clamy due to the cold, and 2. Because he can’t always control his fire when his emotions act up. However if for some reason you have to go, he’ll hold your conjoined hands up to his heart and say his goodbye. Maybe giving your forehead a kiss on special days.

Q - Quirk (A random ability they have, that’s helpful in a relationship)

Todoroki has this amazing ability to talk everything out with you. He hates fighting due to his childhood, so he always makes sure everything is out in the open. As to not have any misunderstandings EVER. He will and wants you to open up about everything from incecurities, to every bit of your day. Too many problems have come through miscommunication, and he isn’t about to allow your relationship to do the same.

R - Rearly (Something they love to do, but it doesn’t happen often)

Absolutely loves ice skating with you! But specifically on Christmas Eve, with all the lights and songs surrounding you both. He wouldn’t let go of your hand, and is constantly heating you up with his quirk. Sneaky boy heats up his lips, in hopes you’ll kiss him more. (First Christmas together he gave you your gift in the middle of the frozen ice)

S - Special (Something that only them and their S/O do together)

After the first month of dating, Shoto started bringing you to see his mom. You’re kind heart reminded him so much of Rei, and honestly he though you two should meet because you’re going to be apart of the distinctional family. He seems to feel a lot more at eas when you’re there, so it’s turned into a personal thing you do together.

T - Together (How often do they spend time with their S/O?)

Not enough! Between school or hero work, you bearly get anytime to yourselves. You always make a point of having date night, but sometimes due to how hard the week was: date night becomes movie + cuddle night. Of course you always fall asleep together, but half the time one of you is already passed out before the other gets home.

U - United (In which way does the relationship become a whole? Marriage?)

Basically once you’ve become part of the family. Weekly visits to see his mom, helping his siblings out with various things, and even standing up to Endever. (Also is that a patchy guy in the shadows smiling at you?) if this boy had opened both his heart and his family up to you, you best believe a ring (thx to dads credit card) is coming your way.

V - Value (What do they treasure the most in their relationship?)

Shoto values the time you spend together so much! It’s rare that you two have more then a day to spend together, so he’s going to make the most out of it. Expect to do 5 or more things in the day, and be joined at the hip for the majority of it. On the off chance that you both end up haveing the weekend off together, Todo is already booking flights. It’s usually a last minute type thing, but hey, who would pass up a trip to Tokyo with their boyfriend?

W - Wish (What do they hope will come from the relationship?)

He wants the chance to be better. He wants to be the best husband (and hopefully father) in the world. He’s never had a very good family life, and honestly he wants one. Especially one with you, because duh, you’d make a great wife! (And maybe mom) and hey if you decide you don’t want kids, then he’s totally fine with that, as long as you get him a pet.

X - XOXO (Favourite types of kisses and hugs)

Shoto is a sucker for curling up in your lap, while you run your fingers through his hair. He’ll hug your waist as you massage the days stress away. That combined with a sleepy goodnight kiss, this boi would die happy and content. He tends to get nightmares, but your goodnight kisses scare them away. Without you, he honestly doesn’t sleep well.

Y - Yearning (How do they cope when they're missing their partner?)

Originally, he was totally okay for the first day or two. But this boy didn’t realize how genuinely touch starved he was, especially without you. Calls every day, just to say hi and that he misses you. Will surround himself in your stuff, and gifts you’ve given him. Stole back his sweater just because it smelt like you. When you finally return, he won’t leave your side for the whole day.

Z - Zeal (Will they go great lengths for the sake of the relationship? What kind?)

Todo would empty his fathers entire bank account for you. He’s willing to to almost anything you ask of him, because he believes that you deserve it. It’s kinda funny when you ask for something small, and he takes it to a whole new level. You ask him to cook more often because you’re busy, he just signed up for a chef class. Ask him to open up about what he’s dealing with? He will sit down right there and let you comfort him. He respects your wishes, and enjoys when you ask him for stuff, because you should be able to lean on eachother anytime.

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

bratkid au | i’m the wild one (parts 1 and 2)

October

“Today we’re going to be discussing your feelings,” announced Stephanie, gliding into the dining room. She set down a presentation easel. “Or lack thereof.”

Bruce sipped his coffee.

“One,” she said, striking one of the fancy candle tapers against the board. A hastily drawn picture of a stage with musical symbols was scribbled across the front. “Studies show that social stimulus encourages character growth in adolescents.”

“What studies?” he queried. She ignored him.

“Two!” Another strike against the board. “Music is known to be an alternative medicine. Three! You are sick of me.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say—”

Stephanie interrupted him. “This is not a Q and A!” She struck the board again “Four! Devil’s Cub is an objectively great band, though they are going through a synth pop phase.”

“Devil’s Cub is not—”

“I’m not finished!” she protested. She moved to strike the board once more, but Bruce held up a hand.

“Alfred would likely appreciate his candles in one piece.”

She set the abused candle on the table, then clasped her hands, eyes twinkling (or, at least, attempting to make her eyes twinkle). “Five,” she finished, “I deserve a reward.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows, lips quirking. “You want a reward for upholding your end of the deal?”

“Au contraire, mon père,” she quipped. “The deal was that I would do things your way for a month. I one-upped you by not going out at night at all, you miserable, isolated husk of a man.”

Bruce sipped his coffee again. “You want to go the Devil’s Cub concert.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes heavenward, as if asking for strength. “Yes.”

“Hmmm.”

Stephanie walked over to his chair, crossing her arms. “What does ‘hmmm’ mean?” she demanded.

He sent her a look. “It means I’m thinking about it,” he told her.

She brightened. “Thinking about it isn’t ‘no.’”

Bruce raised a brow, gazing at her. She had been exceptionally cooperative lately, not to mention courteous. When she had suggested the deal of one month his way versus one month her way, he had had some doubts. But she stuck to her word and did what he had asked, with little to no complaining. It reflected well on her, and she likely would have asked to go the concert regardless of the deal.

“And, not to guilt you or anything, but Tim says he’ll come with. He’s been so bummed since the report card grades, which,” she waved her hands, “we are not discussing. But I really think this could cheer him up, so please say yes because if not I need to think of something else to make him happy, and this plan took me weeks, so.”

Bruce laced his hands beneath his chin. She was trying to do something nice for Tim.

“I mean, I guess I could try to build a skateboard park in the backyard but I really could only build one ramp and I’d need so much lumber from the hardware store.”

“Yes.”

“And of course it’d be pitiful, just one tiny ramp, that’s not exactly—yes?! Really?!”

Bruce’s lips upturned. “Yes,” he said simply.

“Yes! Thank you thank you thank you, this is the best day ever!”

“Remember to stay safe,” he instructed her.

She grabbed the candle from the table, waving it animatedly. “Me? Unsafe? I would never!”

“And,” Bruce added, “you’re not going in the mosh pit.”

“Why not?”

“You being fourteen ring a bell?”

“Yes, but a very small one,” she said. “More like a triangle, like a ‘ting!’” She grabbed her presentation easel, board nearly slipping off. “I have to go tell Tim!”

“No mosh pit,” he called after her.

“We’ll see!” she shouted over her shoulder.

“Stephanie!”

“Bruce expects you to go with me.”

“Why?” Tim asked. They were in the backyard, sharing the hammock. He attempted to blow on a blade of grass.

“I told you, they’re too dry,” Stephanie told him, pushing the grass out of his hands. “He expects you to go with me because I told him you would.”

Tim sighed. “I don’t even like Devil’s Cub.”

She gasped. “Blasphemy! You are banished from this hammock!” She wiggled in an attempt to push him out, but he held on. “Besides,” she said, flopping back, “he told me I could go if you came with, and I’ll be really sad if I can’t go. So, so sad Timothy.” She sent him a pout.

He snorted. “Why don’t you take Dick with you?”

“Because that’s stupid. Besides, I want to go with you. And I’ll have a horrible time if you don’t come, even if Dick goes with me. Even if Alfred goes with me.”

He sent a half-smile, but with some effort. He sighed tiredly, guilt twisting up his insides. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll go with you.”

She sat up, squishing his cheeks together. “You are a sweet baby, a prince of charm, the hero of Devil’s Cub fans, the petite hummingbird of my—”

He pulled out of her grasp, laughing at her shriek when they both fell out of the hammock.

“What’s the backpack for?”

“Water,” Stephanie said dismissively. “Alfred, you can drop us off at the front.”

“Thank you for your permission to do just what I intended, Miss Stephanie.”

Stephanie giggled. Tim peered out the window. People thronged in and out of the amphitheater, each unique yet as indiscriminate as ants. Tim rolled back his shoulders. Devil’s Cub wasn’t his favorite, but a rock concert was a rock concert. Even if they were going through a synth pop phase.

The car stopped. Stephanie scrambled out. “Thanks, Alfred! We won’t be too long! Maybe four or five hours.”

Tim slid out of the car. “Thanks, Alf,” he muttered. The man reached out, clasping Tim’s forearm. He met his eyes.

“Do endeavor to have a good time, my boy,” he said warmly.

Tim froze. Had his morose state been obvious? His throat went dry.

“I’ll try,” he told Alfred, lowering his eyes. The door clipped shut behind him.

“See you later, Alfred!” Stephanie shouted from the curb. Her thousand-watt smile could light up Wayne Tower. Alfred smiled back and pulled away from the curb. Tim jogged over to Steph, relaxing his shoulders. Just tonight. Just get through tonight, maybe have a good time, maybe not, and then he could go home.

‘And wallow,’ his conscious chided him. He ignored it.

Stephanie waved and waved, bouncing on her toes as Alfred drove out of sight. She exhaled, satisfied, and swiveled on her heel. “Okay then,” she told Tim, smiling. “Let’s go.”

And walked in the opposite direction of the amphitheater.

The streets glinted with leftover rainwater. Steph let her foot jam into a puddle with a splash! She twirled. “Come on, Tim,” she cajoled. “This is a mystery. Nothing cheers you up more than a mystery.”

Tim didn’t respond; she wrinkled her nose. He was in a fine mood, wasn’t he. Sullen and muttering things as he walked several paces behind her, like she was a leper of bad decisions.

She hopped over a puddle. “Would you take chill pill,” she called over her shoulder.

“You lied to me.”

The words were soft, and if there had been a wind she might not have heard them at all. Stephanie swiveled around, eyebrows to her hairline. “No I didn’t,” she negated. Tim sent her a look. “I omitted some details, but we did go to the concert. We just,” she shrugged, “didn’t stay.”

“A lie of omission is still a lie, Steph,” he insisted. He kicked at some trash.

“Ugh, no it’s not. You’re trying to sound like Bruce,” she complained.

“You lied to Bruce too, didn’t you.”

“Only because it’s good for him. Now are you going to be pouty all night, or are you going to help me with this?”

Tim muttered a waspish reply but continued following her. Stephanie flicked back her hair in annoyance. She had worked really hard to get out here. It had taken weeks of careful planning and, well, manipulation to even get a halfway decent chance at breaking into the trafficking scheme. She had found the details when visiting Dick’s apartment while he struggled with the blender in the kitchen (Dick could cook, but the apartment was small and the blender had had way more horsepower than a kitchen device should). Then she had kept her ear to the ground, keeping several people on her payroll via her allowance. She snorted. Bruce gave her way too much money. What was she supposed to do with it, save for college?

In any case, news had traveled back that there were some new volunteers for transport, and that they were hanging around Grant Park. Pretty bold, considering that it was at the edge of the fashion district, but it did have the amphitheater and a museum. If you asked Steph, she would say you were better off snatching kids from malls. But she could be grateful that wasn’t the case, because 1) getting Tim to the mall would be harder than pulling teeth, especially with the way he was behaving now and 2) malls had cameras, and this was her mission, not Oracle’s. She huffed. Everyone had taken Bruce’s rules of non-involvement regarding her to heart. Like he was the boss of them or something, which she knew wasn’t true. Why couldn’t they just give her a chance to prove herself? An actual, genuine chance, not the crap they pulled when they let her think she was helping when she wasn’t. What was she, a moron? A baby? A moronic baby?

“Steph,” Tim hissed. Oh. He had been talking for a while, hadn’t he.

“What?”

“I want the water.”

“What water?”

“The water in your backpack.”

“Oh.” She stopped. “There’s no water in my backpack.” She slipped it off, zipping it open.

“Then why did you—oh geez.”

She made the grapple dance in her hands, humming a beat for it.

Tim’s eyes were strangely blue in the streetlights. He looked at her intensely. “Where did you get that?”

“From the discard pile,” she replied. “All this stuff needed was a good tweak.”

His lips downturned. “That’s not safe,” he told her, tone serious.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a square, Tim. Geez, live a little.”

“Bruce says—”

“Bruce,” she said clearly, “is not here.” She zipped up her backpack and started walking again.

Okay, this was getting really annoying. See if she ever invited Tim to one of these things ever again.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Tim demanded, tone rife with superiority.

“No,” she snapped. “I specifically planned out this entire thing to walk in circles. Who even grew up in the city, you or me?”

Tim let out a disbelieving snort.

Stephanie stopped. She clenched her fists. “If you don’t want to do this, leave.”

“As if I’d leave you out here alone,” Tim shot back. “Bruce would—”

“Does he have a chip in your brain or something? Bruce-speak that takes over your body and makes you say stupid shit?”

“Shut up,” he snapped. “At least I listen to what he has to say. At least I’m not running around barely knowing what I’m doing in an attempt to make a stupid point.”

“And what point would that be?” she bit out.

Tim gazed at her. “You already know.”

Anger chilled her down to her veins. “What I know is this,” she said. “It sounds like you’re so desperate for people to like you that you’ve given up having your own thoughts and opinions.”

“Just because I follow his rules doesn’t mean—”

She began walking again. Tim quickly followed her, jumping over discarded trash.

“Have you ever thought that his rules exist for a reason?” he demanded.

“You don’t have those rules,” she negated. She didn’t slow down. “Jason didn’t have those rules, Dick didn’t have those rules. The rules are specifically for me, and it’s bullshit.”

“He lost a child, Stephanie!”

She whirled around. “And?!”

Tim blinked at her, incredulous.

“Jason is dead,” she insisted, “and he’s not coming back.”

An intake of breath.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered. His eyes were glassy. “Don’t ever say things like that. Especially not around Bruce. Promise me.”

Stephanie shifted, feeling uncomfortable with her harshness but not wanting to lose face. She hesitated.

“Stop telling me what to do,” she said after a moment. “And quit scolding me. I’m older than you.”

“Then act like it,” Tim mumbled. Stephanie pretended not to have heard.

She tossed her head. “You’re really rude,” she told him, “because the only reason I even did this was for you.”

Despite his frustration, Tim ducked his head. His mother’s chastising tone echoed in his mind.

“Stop behaving this way. The only reason we don’t let you know when we leave is because you act like this.”

He folded his hands into his pockets, keeping his footsteps featherlight despite wanting to stomp. He had a bad feeling. A really bad feeling. She had jumped this on him, hadn’t let him prepare, he didn’t even have a comm. It went against everything he was trained for, everything he had promised to be for Bruce.

Tim exhaled between his teeth.

Since Steph, things had gotten...hard.

Tim had done his best to be what Bruce needed, day in and day out, but he couldn’t...he couldn’t be Steph. He couldn’t make Steph behave, he couldn’t make it up to Bruce by being twice as dutiful. Tim felt like he was disappearing under Bruce’s gaze, and yet all he could see was the ghost of Jason and the disasters Stephanie left in her wake.

He tried to be both. He tried to support Bruce as Robin, take up the space left behind, honor the graveyard he walked through everyday. But the shoes were large to fill, and he slipped every time he tried to take a step forward. He tried to make up for Stephanie’s acidic words and actions, her careless handling of Bruce’s heart.

He tried to be what Bruce wanted him to be. He tried to be what Bruce needed.

And yet...

Tim felt alienated from his own hands. The space between his brain and body was taken up by “what ifs” and “maybe this time.” Maybe if he did things over again, better this time, smarter this time, stronger this time, it would be enough.

Maybe Tim would be enough.

But he knew better. And he knew the entire ordeal was selfish. He wasn’t there to make Bruce feel better about himself. He was there to make Bruce feel better. He was there to help. To help Gotham, and within that, Bruce.

Bruce needed eyes on Stephanie, needed someone to watch out for her when he couldn’t. Which was why Tim even bothered to go to the stupid concert.

He really hated Devil’s Cub.

His head snapped up.

“Steph!” he whisper-yelled. “Steph!”

She didn’t stop.

“That’s it,” he said. “I’m going to find a pay phone and call Bruce.”

“No, you’re not,” she said, unworried as her long blonde braid swung like a pendulum. “Because if you do, then Bruce is going to think that you can’t handle the mission, and you don’t want that.”

Tim’s feet came to a halt.

But there was no point in arguing, because they were already beneath Leroux Bridge, creeping up behind the beat-up suburban.

Stephanie grinned and set down her backpack. She withdrew a lockout tool and shimmied it down a window, unlocking the passenger door.

“Be lookout,” she instructed him, ignoring his protests and throwing herself into the vehicle.

Tim opened his mouth to reply, but the back of his neck prickled.

He instantly went to cover her, ducking into the car. “Steph, wait—”

Bang!

[its-r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s]

Call Me A Freak- Chapter 2: Mother Knows Best

Words: 1,870

Warnings: death threats, manipulation, physical and emotional abuse

Ch 1 | Ch 3

~ ~ ~

“You will go. You will find the Fairy Godmother. And you will bring me back her magic wand,” my mother snarled.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek. There had to be a way to convince her that this was a bad idea without just telling her that we didn’t want to go.

“The wand is pointless on the Isle. I don’t see why you’d even want it.”

She glared down at me from her throne. “It will work. After you break the barrier from Auradon.”

I felt my stomach drop. This was worse than I thought. This required too much responsibility on my end. Too much pressure. It was all too much.

She must have seen my unease, because she beckoned me closer. “Do you enjoy watching innocent people suffer?”

“Well, yeah,” I chuckled. “I mean, who doesn’t?”

“Well then, get me the wand!” she demanded before I had even finished. “With that wand and my septor, I will be able to bend both good and evil to my will!”

“Our will,” the Evil Queen added.

I could see my mother’s face drop in frustration, but she didn’t argue. “Our will,” she corrected herself. She had to put on a good face. If I knew my mother, she would just as soon get rid of her supposed “friends” and their children to seize power for herself.

She turned her stare back on me. “And if you refuse… you’re dead.”

I widened my eyes. “What? Mom-”

But she snapped her fingers in front of my face and silenced me. I shouldn’t have been surprised. She would do absolutely anything to get what she wanted, but was death just a threat? I was her last remaining child…

She leaned down to me and in a flash, her eyes had lit up with a sickly, emerald color.

My eyes reciprocated before I could stop them, caught in an intense staring contest with my mother. I was bound to lose. Her powers of persuasion were too strong, but I really didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to put my friends through something like this, when I knew they would get nothing in return.

My throat closed up. I was afraid. If I won this, she could simply kill me. Send me out back and have one of her guards crush my skull under his feet. I knew she wouldn’t even kill me herself.

“Fine,” I muttered, looking at the floor. I couldn’t let her see my face right now. It was too hard to veil my disappointment.

“I win,” she gloated.

There was a moment of tense silence. I don’t think anyone in the room had ever heard my mother threaten me with so much, especially not my friends, and they weren’t sure how to respond.

Most of the villains actually cared quite deeply for their kids. This did nothing to make them good parents, but they wouldn’t murder their children for disobediance. But Maleficent… she didn’t have a heart. She wasn’t just evil, she was unstoppable. And it terrified me.

“Evie!” the Evil Queen called behind me. Evie started to bounce over to her mother, as she continued, “My little evillette in training. You must find yourself a prince with a big castle.”

Evie’s face lit up. She worshipped her mother and her mother’s ideology. All Evie could have ever wanted from life was to sit on a throne, surrounded by servants, and riches, and reassurance that she was beautiful.

She giggled in excitement, but her mother shut her down immediately. “No laughing! Wrinkles!”

“Well, they’re not taking my Carlos, because I’d miss him too much,” Cruella cooed.

Carlos’ face morphed between confusion and hope. “Really mom?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “Who would touch up my roots, fluff my fur, and scrap the bunyans off my feet?”

His face dropped at the sentiment. “Maybe a new school wouldn’t be the worst thing,” he grumbled, but she shut him down from that thought almost immediately.

“Carlos, they have dogs in Auradon.”

“Oh no, I’m not going!” he insisted.

“Well, Jay isn’t going either!” Jafar cried from the other side of the room. “I need him to stock the shelves in my store.” He then proceeded to shuffle through all the Jay had stolen on our endeavor today.

“What is wrong with you all?” my mother shouted, regaining my attention. She walked down to floor level with us, grabbing my arm as she went and shoving me down into the seat next to her. “For twenty years, I have searched for a way off this island. For twenty years, they have robbed us from our revenge!”

I couldn’t help curling into myself as she yelled and threw me around. I stared down at the table, trying to calm myself, while she continued.

“Revenge on Snow White and her horrible little men. Revenge on Aladdin and his bloated genie!”

“I will-” Jafar started, in a fit of anger, but Jay held him back.

“Revenge on every sneaking dalmation that escaped your clutches! And I, Maleficent, the evilest of them all, I will finally have revenge on Sleeping Beauty… and her relentless little prince,” she said mockingly.

“Villians!” she shouted. They all turned to her, awaiting her command. “Our day has come. E.Q.,” she turned to the queen, “give her the magic mirror.”

The Evil Queen handed her daughter a small object, about the size of Evie’s hand.

“This is your magic mirror?” she questioned.

“Well, it ain’t what it used to be,” her mother responded. “But it will help you find things.”

“My spellbook!” Maleficent remembered. “I need my…” she trailed off, in thought, so the Evil Queen nodded behind her.

My mother flipped around. “Aha! The safe!” She ran over to what was, essentially, a refrigerator, containing her most prized possession.

“Come, darling,” she beckoned me. As I approached, she pulled it out, running her fingers over the cover. “It doesn’t work here, but it will in Auradon.”

Not two seconds later, there was a honking outside, signalling the arrival of our ride. She shoved the book into my arms and guided me out to the balcony.

As I looked over the edge, down at the dirty, crowded streets, I realized I was leaving the Isle. Really leaving. Not just daydreaming about a different world, where there are fields and clean air, but actually going there. Or… somewhat going there.

Whenever I had dreamed of a better world before, it hadn’t been Auradon. I knew that if I were in Auradon, things wouldn’t be better. They would be cleaner, perhaps, but not better. I could never fit into a place like Auradon. It was full of royal people who have learned all their lives how to be proper and just and despise those like me. And if I were truly there, it would mean shunning the Isle. It would mean leaving behind all that I knew and possibly having it turn on me, too.

No, Auradon might have inspired this fake world, but this fantasy of mine was perfect. It was made specifically so that I could feel peace.

“The future of the free world rests on your shoulders,” my mother told me, her arm still wrapped around me, forcing me to look between the shaky apartments of my city and at the green hills of Auradon.

I could just make it out across the ocean. It truly looked like a paradise for all. But my friends and I didn’t deserve paradise. So, what was Auradon going to be for us? Some sort of trap? Punishment? Hell?

“Don’t blow it,” she added, gripping onto my arm, like a threat.

I made eye contact with her and she sent me a tense smile, which did nothing to make me feel better, then turned on her heel and began to walk downstairs.

I hesitated for just a moment, before following her.

Once I had grabbed my bag and made my way downstairs, I took in the car. Many on the streets were swarming it, throwing rocks or banging on the windows. It was obviously a very strong car, to be able to withstand the fury of the Isle.

I lifted my bag in front of my face, to avoid getting hit, but a few rocks still managed to pummel my arms and stomach.

The driver didn’t get out of the car. Probably a smart move on his part. As far as I could tell, he was the first person from Auradon to ever visit the Isle of the Lost and the people weren’t exactly jumping to give him a warm welcome.

I set my bag in the back, along with Evie’s, Jay’s, and Carlos’s. As I shut the trunk, my eyes drifted behind me, and I noticed my mother had made her way back up to the balcony to watch us go.

This unsettled me more, and I looked away quickly. I pushed through the crowd of people and slid into the car, where my friends were already waiting for me.

The minute I shut the door, there was silence among us, aside from the muted yelling outside.

The car started with a jolt, taking us away from our parents. It was just a little too much for all of us. Jay and Carlos slowly started to gorge on the mountains worth of candy they had laid out for us, but neither of them talked. Evie watched as we drifted away from the central part of the Isle, the groups of people watching us lessening as we got farther away. And I was staring at the floor, trying to concentrate. I had to make a plan, someway to get us out of Auradon as soon as possible. Once my mother had what she wanted, I would be off the hook.

The wall between us and the driver slowly descended a minute later. Evie turned around curiously, but all the excitement vanished from her face as she saw what was going on. “Look!”

Attached to the Isle was a bridge. Supposedly it was what had brought all the villains over twenty years ago, but there was no going over it now. It was demolished the minute every villain was off Auradon soil, stranding them there.

We approached this bridge now, no other path to turn on, no slowing down.

“It’s a trap!” Carlos screamed, and my eyes widened. There was no way they had asked for us, just to drive us into the ocean, right?

We all called out in fear, grabbing hold of one another. But the deathly fall we were expecting never came.

With a look around, I came to realize that the bridge had reappeared. Or, at least, a bridge had appeared.

It was gold and circled around us entirely, almost like a tunnel.

“What just happened?” Carlos questioned.

“It must be magic!” Evie giggled from beside me.

I slowly started to realize that we were well past the barrier at this point. This bridge, or tunnel, or whatever it was, seemed to have opened a way for us to safely leave the Isle. And just like that, we were the first villains to get off the Isle in twenty years.

[starksimaginationcreations]

Ascending Sensations of Madness

Borderline  Personality Disorder &  Depressive Bipolar Disorder

Feb 20th 2021

There are sharp spikes on both sides of this personality of mine. The middle is the safest part for all the people I care about. I feel empty most of the time. There are constant thoughts of people dying, leaving, and abandoning me. A Lot of people have already. The emotions are very uncontrollable, feelings of sadness and frustration fill my emotions quickly forming into an irritable state of mind. It's different than most believe. The urges to do and make dangerous decisions are at a mild rate at this point in time. These times, I feel insecure about myself. The low self esteem drops to the point of suspicious thoughts and insecurities. The romantic gestures no longer feel sincere but more of a way to convince a wall to cover what reality really has in store. Relationships are more difficult because of these insecurities.

Temptations of self destruction tug at my thoughts when looking at anything that could bring on a sensation of torment. Pointed or shredded instruments and utensils, far drop offs, hot fires, a bath full of water, cables and more. All of these create different scenarios that could be used in the process for death. They suffocate me until that is all that can be thought about. As if waking in the mornings was not already hard enough. Trying to keep the temptation to not let go of the steering wheel and slam on the gas while driving with imaginations of aiming for a tree makes me guilty. Only the universe could choose the right answers to these delirious fascinations. That wave of unexpected emotional misery lurks up and right behind it, dissociation, at remorse, and paranoia. You would make judgement,  my family, job, life, and friends should be worth living for. They are, to a normal mentally secure human being. The emotional senses of a human with BPD does not work the same and this hatred for my own self is just the beginning.

Let's have a couple hours, days or even weeks pass by.. Lets allow these feelings and thoughts to fill up the sand jar. After already making some sad decisions of my own. The alter ego decides to show her unwanted face. Normally, once or twice every month. She only shows her face a few times during the long dreadful days. A good friend, a secret admirer, someone with an emotional connection, someone who brings her discomfort, dislikes her or someone that angers her. These are all triggers to bring her out. The switch is quick most times but other times she likes to make me suffer. The depression gets so overwhelming that I start to take out my frustrations on the ones I love and care about the most. Pushing them away to the point of making enemies.  This is not something I have been dealing with for a small amount of time. She has been with me since I was very little.

My mother dealt with me in my absolute vulnerable states, when this dark mental resemblance of myself first started coming out. The parents believed it was because my father left us when I was 3 years old. The role of our uncle who wanted to touch my sister and I in inappropriate ways. I was between the ages 4 and 7 when the man would stay awake all night when we spent weekends at our fathers house just to stare at us in the middle of the night. He would play with solitary cards for hours waiting for us to fall asleep. I grew up with two sisters, my oldest sister did not seem to be bothered by our predator. He would make indecent remarks toward her and touch her in ways she felt uncomfortable. He would do the same to me in my sleep. This could be the cause of my mental disorders that I currently suffer with. 

At twelve years old, in middle school, I hated every inch of skin on my body. Puking, a ridiculous trend back then to become skinny. This boy wouldn't break my heart if I was skinny enough for him. Digging razors, knives, and other sharp objects into my skin and covering up with sweatshirts even when it was the middle of 80 degree summer air. My mother knew something was different with the increase in layers. She never spoke about it until she had received a call from the school. That girl ratted me out in seventh grade. I showed her my demons and she betrayed me by deciding that I needed help, to use her own authority to tell the school nurse that I needed my arms looked at. She was supposed to be my friend. I confided in her about my demonic state. She broke faith with not only me, but the adjusted ego as well. I was very immature these days. Which in return made that part of my intelligence young and vulnerable as well. She was furious with this girl I thought was my friend. She quickly turned into an enemy.  I still remember her name, what she looked like, her personality, and how close we were back then. That was until she became a traitor. I hated, envied, and blocked her from ever returning back into my life. 

My Sister, good thing she had a better mental stability than I did back then had her own issues and nowadays most of those are mental disorders as well. I over think about the possibility that I could have been the reason to cause her such distraught with much bad anxiety. She watched me put a knife to my throat after an argument with my mother. My mother cocooned in her room as I sat at the Kitchen table with tears running down my cheeks. Emotional situations have always been very intense for me even more dramatic with the people I care about because I don't want anyone to leave. My sister was just fourteen to fifteen years old, yet carried herself as if she was my mother. She taught me to tie my shoes, ride a bike, helped me with homework and more. She wrote me a note that night sliding it onto the kitchen table .  Asking me what I was going to do with the sharp item. Begged and persuaded me to put it down so she could talk to me. She was resilient in her endeavors when I became the alter ego of my natural self. When I couldn't find my way back to reality, she was my “grounder”. Always seemed calm, collected and filled with pride or joy. Adulthood can really change someone to the completely opposite person than the way they had been raised.   

I had no friends around that time, she was my only friend. She was the “Favorite Person” that I attached myself to effortlessly. The little notes that she slid under the doors when she knew I could not keep in touch with reality. She was the person who brought me back to realization.  These were the days when I had no idea how to handle this demoniacal version of myself. I acted on Impulse. And yet, everyone thought I was just in my emotional teen years. No one offered to get me help at such a young age. Maybe if i had gone sooner, I wouldn't be as bad as the way I am today. Maybe, I would know right from wrong. There are a few symptoms that I have noticed that connect my inner personality and the Disorder at hand in perfect sync patterns. Self Harm, whether it is physical or emotional, Attaching myself to one specific person, detachment of my own self, self destructive decisions and or psychotic behaviors.  

The constant body shaming and foreign face that stared back at me in a mirror reflection, always smirked with evil intentions. How could I possibly explain this to anyone? They would never believe that I had an alter ego, willing to do the most unpredicting things with my life choices. Sometimes, I get delusional, that girl in the mirror would disappear leaving me completely vulnerable, to make decisions on my own. I would call back to her inside my thoughts. It was as if I couldn't live without her. I got used to her being there, making those hard decisions with me while she was still in the back of my head, she was the main decision maker, the brave mindset out of us.  No one can make a decision on their own without their subconscious mind giving them that extra push.  She made life exciting, adventures got shorter, nights got longer, sleep became less and less by the night.  The presence of this ego sat back and listened silently, gawking at me, stirred over every decision I decided to make on my own. Situations are difficult to make as it is. Getting judged by your own self image makes things even more intense.

As the emotions built and stacked onto of each other, I kept my intentions occupied.  At fourteen years old, the boy I thought had loved me, decided he was going to have all of me. To make that decision at 14 years old while my arch nemesis drilled me with pain instead of words was more than just a task in itself but also a nerve wracking challenge. I had no words to say. I was stuck way back in my head behind a dark veil.  The reason I allowed it to happen? It was a self destructive decision yet felt as if the situation had absolutely no bad qualities or traits. Acting out in revenge toward our individuality was not in the cards during this situation. 

I believe I deserved all that was good in this relationship.  Me and this boy had established already, the outcome of this situation couldn't be that horrible. If anything the outcome would  have been beautiful. This ego that held me at my weakest and strongest moments lead the way to our destination.

Just moments after the events took place, devastation quickly approached.  The boy rejected me. He spoke words of abandonment. Telling me we could no longer do anything like the situation that just occurred because he had a girlfriend. After taking my innocence this boy had just created the most emotional piece of this state of affairs. My childhood best friend and I had known each other since diaper days had turned his back toward me and left me on dirty sheets in a stranger's territory. I was in shock, another friend had to inform me once more about what had just literally happened in front of me.  He was done with me. He used me for his own indecent pleasures. 

My whole body attempted to filter sadness, hurt, confusion, abandonment and anger all at once. I had intensified the emotions with double the force. This in turn revealed ascending madness crawling up my body. Goosebumps covered my skin as I began to feel physical pain run its course through my limbs.  My whole body ached and I locked myself into a dark room way back in my head. I didn't know what was about to happen now all I knew  or felt was aggression, irritation, overwhelming sadness and the nightmare that I had just lost one of my best friends.. 

That was the very first time ever that I felt the alter ego take complete control of my impaired vision and bodily functions.  This was the Personality Disorders first mixed features in the flesh of me. In the mirror once more,  I continued to bury myself in that dark subconscious whole, barely watching from the veil. I wanted a complete shut down. A release of pressure from my heart made me fall to my knees weeping with a chest pain so intense I could barely breathe. My gasps were deep but it still felt as if I had received no oxygen. A once loud and obnoxious house currently held nothing except deadly silence for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only ten minutes. 

Soon enough, I crashed.  I focused my anger on myself by punching the walls multiple times, screaming until my throat became sore, my eyes bloodshot from the physical pain that these emotions had led me to believe was real. Reality began to escape my mental reasoning, bashing the back of my head against the wall in attempts to stop it from talking to me, over and over it would not quite long enough for me to gain some sanity. I slammed my fists into my thighs repeatedly, trying to feel any other type of pain that would take my attention away from this agony at hand. The waves of hatred from my fists transformed quickly into a pulsating radiation of euphoric sensations that spread up my arms, physical pain was the only sensation that stole me from the hurt.  From my head to my toes,  strong desire for adrenaline, passion, lust, adventure, eroticism, endorphin, excitement, pleasure, a way to completely forget. 

I wiped my face off and glanced at myself in the mirror. Rushes of every single devious intention that my other half had been convincing me for so long to indulge in had hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. A sensation of empty darkness filled my soul. The psychosis between me and the second person I had created in my head so long ago had come to an agreement for once. Merging into one specific personality fused together by both Good and Bad characteristics. The feeling was warm and heated my blood and bones right to the core. The tears finished falling from my eyes as my reflections laughed out loud in a psychotic demeanor. This would be the part in a movie that the audience would watch in confusion as the disorder gets complicated. The feelings of worthlessness, depression, dissociation, anger, frustrations, heart ache, physical, emotional pain that made my whole body ache and lash out just moments ago had manifested itself into a dysphoric mix of mania. At that exact moment in my life was when I knew I was going to need help some day. That making it past the age of twenty five was not going to be in my cards.

Although, I am only one person and now the age of twenty three with a mental disorder that allows active emotional reactions to devour my every characteristics and personality. This experience, hazardous to say the least, knocked at my subconscious mind and allowed blood to spill, tears to shed and emotions to raise high enough to cause physical pain to my entire body. Confusion and paranoia filled my head and recognition that the disorder was only going to get worse. That it was even a disorder,  was the last thing I thought about, help was the last thing I cared about. I just simply wanted excitement and a feeling of pleasure to cover the scars that had been recently reopened.

Things were never the same after these days. I became rebellious and it was even worse than before. I had one night stands with strangers, and used people that I cared about as leverage to get what I wanted. Allowed people to treat me in ungodly ways, including the boy who turned my once innocent ways psychotic. I allowed him to cheat on other girls with me, to use me only for sexual desires as a self -destructive punishment for myself. I used drugs to an excessive point, drank more, partied often to escape reality. I started skipping school to indulge in adult conversations and unhealthy relationships. Classes that I found interesting at one point in time became irritating and only ended in the frustration I would let loose with the actions spoken about in the sentences above. I lashed out for no reason, spit, cussed, screamed, cried, hit, disrespected people who only tried to be there for me. I was not myself and reacted out of frustration as a result that I even missed my own identity. This person was not me, she was an elongated unstable mental state of mind that was almost impossible to control.

A life stigmatized and misunderstood from a mental health condition and its devastating effects can be found in a thousand patients.  Those who exist in a world where no matter how loudly they scream, no-one seems to hear their voice.  Now, in the present time, it has been 8 years since those events occurred. I still to this day struggle with the everyday emotions. physically and mentally. I got diagnosed with these two disorders only about half a year ago. Living in the mind of a stranger my whole life with only help from a school teacher. She must have done a good job because I'm still here living, breathing, and fighting the demon that feels like it's gaining more and more power.

On top of my growing BPD, lurks another unfortunate disorder. This one is a difficult one for me to accept. Even as a child when someone would make a comment about it, it had rage and disgusted me. This disorder is not  a mental disorder but a mood disorder to say the least. This irritation is called Depressive Bipolar Disorder (DBD). There are many different life, family, relationships, work, and other initial habits I need to start coping with. Learn to control my own sense of anger and accept the fact that I need help.  

When/ If I begin to act strange, someone whether it's a family member, stranger, significant other, etc., they normally do well to call me out on my decisions . Others who know of my name but not of my personality, give  judgmental faces with mean looks on their faces. They seem inviting on a normal day, but a day when I don't even recognize myself is the hardest for me. There are times I feel amazing in my own skin, whereas other days I feel sloppy and I watch myself in a judgmental way so why wouldn't they to? On the good days I can put my mind to multiple things and achieve them quickly in a timely manner.  Jumping from one thing to the next. 

My head prefers to make plans before my self conscious mind these days. For she still has some control, I don't lash out nearly as hard as I used to. More emotional distress than anything to the point I would like to rip off my head or tear the hair from my scalp. Those are the days I need more reassurance of my worth, to know that I'm not just a waste of space trying to get by. The thoughts won't be going away soon of course, and emotions still hurt like physical pain, my body still becomes one within its encounters with unexpected situations. I still seclude myself from an audience every time I get the chance to.

 Sometimes I worry about if they had diagnosed me incorrectly considering I would rather flood my own mind with low self esteem than make a fool of myself out of anger in front of a crowd. The good part of the whole situation is that during hypomania you're excessive. I had been told to take advantage of that quality of my disorder.  Be excessively open to new people and experiences because recently, I have become very distant and cold with the ones I care about. I've lost all of my actual friends.  Not intentionally on my part, but pushing people away is also a very high quality in my lonely personality. Furthermore, resourceful and useful for others rather than emotional support. I have a few grounding techniques when I'm feeling that I'm going to bounce back between the lows and highs, that include my art, writing, music and to be alone. Yet I am told not to allow myself to be alone to the point of comfortable silence by my phycologist. 

Still I require medical assistance for the unstable mind set I am capable of releasing, if I can just muster up the will power to go and express myself to a complete stranger before anything else is to happen without my control.

  Created By, Khloe Lea ❤ᓚᘏᗢ

[words-thing]

This is my Lufkin 100' measuring tape. I bought this the day I signed the lease on Rats Tramps. The space was huge and my co-signers and I were going to need a means by which to accurately divide it up. I felt so optimistic then. Even though I was at the lowest point in my life. Alison had just left me, effectively rubbing my face in public shit and in a house I couldn't afford alone. My MOCA gig was ending and I would soon be facing a long stretch of unemployment. But I had friends. Or so I thought. I knew my relationships were tenuous but it only became wholly apparent after we jumped into bed together, so to speak. But I didn't have anything else. So I signed onto this gallery/studio endeavor and ended up leading the charge because none of the other parties had any business sense whatsoever. What an adventure that was! A year later I opted out and now have no contact with anyone involved. In fact, it's rare that I see anyone from that time period even though our lives were so tangled and intense.

I should have killed myself then. I wish I did. I had the drive and the nerve and all the reason in the world. I don't anymore. I'm too broken and tied to people to do it now. I have no choice but to go on. Like this tape measure. What a horrible metaphor. I didn't intend to write about this when I chose this object. Strange how specific memories and emotions are tied to the most innocuous things.

I was once optimistic. Even though I was at the bottom I felt hopeful. I still felt like I could do something with my life, like I could salvage something meaningful from the wreckage. Pipe dreams. That was only 2 years ago. So much has changed in that short time. I am much better off than I was then. I have a full time job with benefits and for the most part, I like it. I live in a beautiful apartment and have room to make things. I'm reconnected with my family and know who my friends are. But now I am ultimately pessimistic. I don't feel that hope anymore. I feel trapped, stuck, defeated. The reality of the day-to-day is crushing. I don't know how people do it. I don't know how someone can report to the same job everyday, work alongside the same assholes, schlep the same commute, sleep in the same rats nest eat the same rat food run the same rat race year after year. It's a horrible situation.

I like this drawing though my energy and focus flagged. It's a bit skeletal, though it came quite easy. The drawings in this project are becoming more business-like. I sit down, I draw, I write. I wish I could do this with life. Wake up. Go to work. Eat. Sleep. Business-like. Matter-of-fact. No crises. No doubt. No suicidal ideation. Maybe it takes an effort that gets easier. But isn't being alive effort enough. What more must a person do?

[thepracticeofthought]

My History

Most things require context so it would make sense that I sort of paint myself as a character before we enter into the realm of my mind.

I was born in Nashville, Tennessee, and was there for less than two years before I was moved to Michigan for a myriad of reasons, for the next six or so years I was raised with my younger sister by a mother who was mostly away at work and a disillusioned depressed father who was no less that reckless with our upbringing. It was one of many reasons my parents got divorced.

Meanwhile in school I made and lost friends like paper airplanes in my early years of elementary school. Gaining one, then a few, before losing them all for another one.I was pulled back in third grade and winded up taking the second half of second grade and the first half of third grade twice. I participated in the boy/girl wars back in the day, what a fiasco. I may have even participated in bullying a girl out of our school (something I only horrifyingly remember now). In the wake of this event I settled on three friends who I clung to for the remainder of my elementary school years.

Noteworthy events in my elementary school years after that:

 A kid made fun of me for being gay specifically ‘liking dicks’, but I didn’t get it so I just joked along.

I had a number of crushes which all ended horribly, teaching me early that romance was to be repressed until only the most opportune times.

I gained a nostalgic love for dominoes because that was the pizza they served on pizza days.

I was really bad at multiplication tables so much so that I was taken out of the class to study them.

I re-met an old friend from my first time through third grade who came out as trans since I had last met her. She got everyone to bully me near the end of fourth grade and let me into the girls bathroom one time. (She apologized to me years later and I wish her luck in her endeavors.)

I believed very firmly in ghosts until someone pointed out that that didn’t really make sense. It was very hard to get over it.

My friend group always started tag during recess

One of my friends allegedly made out with me while I was asleep during one of my birthdays. To this day I don’t know if that happened or not, but it taught me about the need for consent and I realized I didn’t really care.

I talked politics with my friends for the first time in fifth grade. It was odd.

Two of my friends were jewish, the other was catholic, but I never knew what I was when it came to religion.

I also participated in a home made movie with my friends which was cool.

I joined a boychoir and met a new friend.

Now I take turns to describe my two houses. My father started dating a woman who would eventually become my step-mom only a number of months after the divorce. My father was very stressed and got a cheap condo in a bad neighborhood far from our school. He shouted at me a lot and his parenting style was both dismissive, judgmental and hostile. I took the brunt of the force from him and my step-mother through our middle-school years, but the threats they levied against my sister in later years were far worse in every way. 

My mother was also quick to get back into dating but she’s far more headstrong than my father, and once she allowed herself, far more aware of what she wanted out of a relationship. Unfortunately, what she thought she wanted she couldn’t find, a self-confident and healthy person. Instead, she introduced my sister and I to multiple unfortunate cases, the worst of which I’ll call Dan. He gave me a nerf gun for my birthday and then I accidentally shot him in the eye, so he threw me up against a wall and my mom made me apologize for it. To be fair, my mother had no idea what the whole story was until years later when I recounted the story to her, and my mom made Dan go home that night.

As for a school life, I got pretty sick early on in sixth grade, in a really lame way. We thought I had a cold, so I stayed away from school for a while only to return to school and instantly get sick again. I visited doctors and this went on for about a month before they realized that I had mono, ‘the kissing disease’. The closest I had gotten to kissing at that point was denying blatant advances from girls, so we theorized that I got it from singing in boychoir. Imagine telling that to middle-schoolers when you get back from a three month break from school. My only friends were in boychoir for a long while but they were great friends so it was good.

Maybe good is an exaggeration, my middle-school years were some of the hardest years of my life. I never stopped feeling happiness, but life was a very painful gray sprinkled with hard to find happiness. I’ll list now some things that happened:

All of my elementary school friends and I lost touch. One went to a different school. One became horribly depressed and I didn’t know how to help him, then he transferred while I was sick. The last gave me an ultimatum, struggle to become popular with him, or don’t talk to him (and, yes, he is still a huge ass).

I became friends with a dude who I learned many years later was autistic, but at the time I just figured was ‘not so good at social interactions’.

I became friends with a dude I used to bully in elementary school, who was strange, but passionate.

I became friends with another dude, who was wholly unremarkable, and he was my best friend in middle school, though confident he didn’t feel the same toward me.

I was hit on by a few girls, and as-per-usual, did not reciprocate for one reason or another.

I fell in love whole-heartedly with the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic show, completely separate from the internet hype. I actually discovered the show on a trip to the Dominican Republic since it was on the only channel with English on it. My sister and I watched it to bond. The friendly, understanding nature of the show reassured me that my approach to trying to solve interpersonal issues was well grounded and re- taught me some important values.

I discovered pornography somewhere along the line.

Highschool arrive and I immediately joined the robotics club with my favorite friend from middle school and we were instantly separated as I quickly Domino Effect-ed my way into another large friend group of people one year older than me. Here I met my best friend, objectively. I got into League of Legends, my friend group avoided doing work in robotics and I faded into a happy monotony for three years.

My home life had stabilized. For a long time my mother had been living off my grandparents money, but she had hit the jackpot with a few jobs in a row and was only climbing. As for my father, he had given up on his second dream and had allowed himself to get some easy certificate for something computer related and got a stable, reliable job. My step-mother also made money a lot easier for him and the marriage only made things even easier.

As for emotionally, this is where the abuse story becomes my sister and honestly it’s not my story to tell, but I felt both helpless and enraged at how they treated her. They’ve gotten better, but my step-mom has never really stopped being bad for my sister.

My last year of high-school my friends were all gone from school. I saw most of them online or at hangouts (half of them went to the local colleges), but at school I became friends with a number of people I worked on projects with. I drove them home since I had a car. We climbed buildings illegally in our spare time, eventually getting caught later in the year.

Finally, college came around and I got in somewhere with my mothers full support so I went and now after so many existential crises about my purpose, love, and the life we have. I feel the need to express myself here, on the internet.

[obsessivesassenach]

What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you people?

You people  You Antis, NST, Truthers, Haters, wtfer name you want to be called or are called. You people. You know I’m talking to you @noshippingallowed @contemplatingoutlander @goldenoutlander @adhara112 @aliceinoutlanerland (oops you forgot the d in outlander. get a d.) @whylimewhyanything (put the lime in the coconut) @whoreallyknowswho (it’s whom! whom! unless you just forgot to finish your sentence) @prodigiousreblogger @bestof60 (are you 60?) @vividdreamer318 (your imagination is certainly leading you astray) @breezylouisey (is that you weezy?) @momofmusa (i thought you were mom of USA lol)  @alittlebitmasss (oops your s key got stuck) Anyway, there are more of you and I’m sorry I didn’t give you a moment of thrill by acknowledging you by name but I mentioned the Tumblr accounts that I’ve seen making horrendously wild, hateful, fictional, hurtful accusations against other Outlander fans with no speck of proof - accusations meant to inspire others to emulate you and spread hate to those people as well. Let me get this straight. From what I can tell, you are super hopping mad about the content of certain Twitter and Instagram accounts. Fine. Totally fine. You are entitled to your opinions. I can see why those accounts might make some people mad. I mean, irrelevant to my life but maybe not yours.  You are mad that certain Twitter and Instagram accounts have been created for the sole purpose of throwing shade and mocking a certain celebrity you hold in high esteem. I get that. Fine. Be outraged! Express yourselves!! Speaking of fine I know you will go through this post with a fine toothed comb for anything you can argue with and attack me over because god forbid you actually read the message, digest the information, thoughtfully consider the content and then share your thoughts and opinions and maybe answer some of my questions. Nope that’s not your style. Attack attack attack half-cocked and don’t put any thought or concern for reality into it. Yes you are the borg of Antis as the foil to the Shippers. I didn’t create that world, you did. You wanted to be the anti-shippers. You are gathered on Tumblr together to be this Anti-Shipper fighting army. Go forth and fight uhh I guess? WHY????  See, shippers are motivated by love. That’s really obvious. There are all types of shippers just as there are all types of people (and even all types of antis), but what brings them together is not just their love of Outlander (and you guys love Outlander too! Whee we have something in common) but their love of the LOVE parts of Outlander and all the LOVE associated with Outlander in promos, BTS, interviews, Q&As, social media banter between the cast and crew, etc. LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE. So you generally don’t see shippers on social media attacking people with hatred and lies and accusations of criminal activity. Wait wait wait. Correction! YOU see shippers doing those things but no one else does. You mostly see shippers doing those things with accounts that aren’t even recognized shipper names. They are basically troll accounts that you have deduced are shipper accounts. You do have these long convoluted narratives of what certain shippers are alleged to have done and you bandy them about so frequently that your telephone game grows legs and walks it’s own marathon and becomes some weird beast-mode attack shipper who does horrible things. You say you SAW these things but you haven’t. Show me a tweet, a facebook post, an instagram post from an Outlander fan who identifies herself as a shipper and has a known persona in the fandom and is attacking, hating, committing these horrendous crimes you claim. What I mean is, SHOW ME THE MONEY! SHOW ME PROOF to back up your narrative. You have specifically named a number of Outlander fans and made outrageous claims as to their character, behavior, beliefs, actions, off-line actions and more. YOU HAVE NO PROOF BECAUSE THESE STORIES ARE FICTION. I’ll give you an example of how your lies have grown wings, run a marathon and turned into beast-mode: So a certain blue check account posts that a certain object of your hatred and hate-mongering did something so illegal that she would have been arrested and would still be in jail. You all headnod, mouth breath, feel righteous for having attacked her because you were soooo right, bang away at your keyboards and continue the lies and hatred and stoke the fires for uhhh fun? Yet you all know that she isn’t in jail and couldn’t have done this highly illegal thing because you watch her every move and you saw her posting pics of herself just last weekend participating in a fitness event. Hmmmm. Are you collectively dumbing each other down with your groupthink or all you all that stupid? YOU KNOW IT’S A LIE. But you’ve all convinced each other it’s ok to lie about it, malign, spread hatred and misinformation about certain fans and tarnish their reputation in the fandom because… because? because why??? Help me out here. So it’s because someone has said rude bad things to an actress you believe is Sam Heughan’s girlfriend even though he has never once said so. You BELIEVE it so it’s your reality. And the fans that you malign? You do that because they believe something else. But the weirdest thing is that you do malign them by tossing out totally unfounded and false accusations about their behavior and ascribe all kinds of unsavory activities, motives, and behaviors to these fans you have chosen to malign. You do the thing to them that you so claim to hate they are doing to the objects of your admiration.  I’m still working on this and I still need your help. So because you BELIEVE that two actors are dating and BELIEVE that it’s wrong that internet trolls make claims that they are not and some internet trolls say really rude things and tag them, you feel fully justified in making claims that the trolls are not just trolls but actual recognizable Outlander fans. Are you like shippers of trollworld or something?  I’ll just come right out and say it. Kim Hickey is not behind any of those trolls accounts you claim she is. I know this and you know this. You know which accounts are legitimately hers because she identifies herself. You are even attacking her My Peak Challenge account that she posts inspirational memes and encourages people to donate to Bloodwise. Are you for fucking real? You’re attacking a charity endeavor in your blind hatred of…. hatred of who fucking knows.  Even if you didn’t know she wasn’t behind the troll accounts, you absolutely have no basis for claiming she is. You are making shit up and publicly proclaiming it as truth just like that thing that Shippers do that you claim to hate.  Also, let’s talk about me:  I am a public person online. I don’t hide behind cutesy names. You can look me up and it won’t even be doxing me because it’s all right there, isn’t it? I have no sock accounts. I put my name on all my accounts because I own what I say and share. This tumblr account was created in the middle of last summer as a parody of Starz Obsessable campaign therefore it did not need my name on it. I never had a Tumblr account before that and I have never even sent anons on Tumblr. I never pretended I was anyone else or made any attempt to be anyone else. I posted freely about myself and my life when it was topical, including photos of myself. If you were like BINGO I’m such a supersleuth I figured out who is behind that blog!! you’re not smart or observant. It was obvious. The thing is, though, shippers didn’t know who I was. Not because they didn’t know who was behind “Obsessive Sassenach” but because they didn’t know who Nipuna was. Isn’t that funny? One of the Outlander fans on the top of your BAD SHIPPER LIST WHO MUST BE EXTERMINATED list isn’t even known by other shippers. What makes me a shipper? Just that I have heart eyes for Sam and Cait and think they have chemistry and oh wait, whoah, ZOMG, Arthur Kade thinks that too. Josh Horowitz does too! and ummmm ummmm that one lady at TCA that one year and that one book author who was on the NYT best seller list and you know I could go on. It’s not a crime to be fully happy to enjoy Sam and Caitriona’s chemistry. And if that makes me a shipper, yay. But the only reason I’m actually a known component of the shipper community now is because you guys have dragged my name around and created ridiculous lies about me. It’s like I’m some sort of Shipper Legend (to you, not shippers) who does these super crazy Shipper things in AntiLand. Remember the grave story that was created by one of you weirdos because a family friend of mine who is a caretaker for a military graveyard in the USA was friends with Sam’s father? You guys turned it into: That Crazy Shipper Nipuna stalks Sam’s father’s grave in hopes of running into him and Caitriona making a baby on his dad’s grave in Scotland. Or something like that. Anyway, tour bus guides in Scotland think there are crazy Outlander fans who stalk Sam at his father’s grave but if they stop to think they realize they don’t even know if he has a grave or if it’s even in Scotland.  You’re maligning the whole fucking fandom you freaks! You’re creating these outrageous, convoluted piece of fiction because you are all worked up about uhh something and then you tag other nasty people and get them to repeat the stories and then the stories get embellished and repeated and you sit back and watch the telephone game continue. But don’t you realize that you’re fucking the whole thing up for yourselves too? I mean, I guess not if you like chaos and mayhem. But most of you profess to care about people being nice and kind and cry out that bullying is bad and wrong. But then you do just that when you pick an Outlander fan and create detailed and convoluted lies about her behavior.  The people you lie about know they are lies, sure. And lots of other people know they are lies and ignore you, but you repeat the lies over and over and you know that saying about how if you repeat a lie often enough people will start to believe you. So you repeat and repeat and then sit back and with self satisfied smiles. Or maybe it’s just that your mouth is open because you’re breathing through it. Whatever. I don’t know your motives. I don’t know what attracts you to fan the way you do. I don’t know what fulfills you. I know it’s not LOVE. But do you even know? Are you just running around half-cocked and brainless and letting yourselves be lied to? What gives? Can you help me understand why you are constantly naming and targeting certain people and pointing others to attack them and if that doesn’t work creating stories that will hopefully motivate them to attack? WHY???

[flukeoffate]

Thoughts on Criticism: The Responsibilities of Writers and Readers.

I do not consider myself a writer. My specialty is art. I sometimes write fanfics if the urge is strong enough, but it’s not often. I consider myself to be an avid reader who mostly reads fanfiction but occasionally will delve into a book fandom. Currently, I’m reading all the Star Wars Canon and will be busy reading that for years to come.  I’m focusing on writing in this post, because I believe writers are the biggest targets of criticism in fandom, but it also applies to artists of any creative endeavor, especially for aspiring professionals.

Potentially unpopular opinions under the cut, but I hope it inspires/encourages people or gives them some sort of insight.

Someone just posted advice on how to deal with negative criticism on writing, and it got the wheels in my head turning. Without taking apart that post (because it’s a fine post, but this is not meant to be compared to it) I wanted to share my thoughts as a reader, and as an occasional writer.

Lately, I have seen a lot of mutuals get extremely depressed over negative criticism on their fics.  This is normal and understandable. My art gets negative crit. I have to deal with the feelings that accompany them. No one likes being told their work is sub par, no matter how nicely worded or constructive the criticism. 

Which brings me to my first thought:

I think a lot of new writers do not understand the meaning of of constructive criticism.  Their understanding of the term is often limited to ‘a review praising  specific things a reader liked about their work’. But here is the thing: constructive criticism is not defined as a positive review. Constructive criticism can and arguably should be negative.

What makes criticism constructive is it’s ability to point out the good and the bad, so that a writer can consider this input and use it to improve their technique. There is a major difference between “Your story is terrible and I hate what you’ve done” and “I think your story is flawed but could improve if you did this, this, or this.” Both these statements can feel cruel, but the second review at least offers an opportunity for growth. You may not agree with the reader’s suggestions, but it at least gives you something to reflect on.

If one is serious about improving their technique, writers and artists have a responsibility to themselves to consider negative constructive criticism as a positive experience.

I can’t say it gets easier. It doesn’t. It hurts. but it’s valuable.

Now, readers/reviewers. Listen up. You have a responsibility too.

There is a time and a place for criticism. There are countless posts on tumblr encouraging people to comment on fanfic. Fanfic authors need positive support to stay motivated. Artists need reblogs to know their work is appreciated. It is a fact, and I urge you to continue this practice.

Feedback is the food on which writers thrive. But in any balanced diet, one must sometimes eat things they hate to stay healthy. Positive reviews are like sweets. You want them, they are satisfying, and it’s a reward for hard work. Negative reviews are like the vegetables you try to feed your dog under the table. You might hate them, but they are necessary nourishment.

Giving authors/artists nothing but praise is a disservice to an aspiring professional, and as a reader, you suffer the consequences. Eating too many sweets is detrimental to your health. Hearing nothing but positive reviews is detrimental to writing. 

There is a symbiotic relationship between writers and readers. When one side fails to do their part, both sides lose. If readers do not give proper reviews, writers cannot improve. If writers do not know what they are doing wrong/ignore all crit, readers will be stuck with lower quality stories.

I think it is safe to say that everyone has that one book that they hate with a fiery passion. That one book that is so horribly written that you can’t help but wonder HOW it was ever given the green light for publication.  The kind that makes you wish you could delete it from your brain. The kind just makes you ask WHY? Self-published books are often (not always) the biggest offenders, riddled with amateur mistakes or bad storytelling.

I firmly believe that many of these authors were never given proper constructive criticism. They were either denied it, they refused it, or their editors were incompetent. Maybe these writers have only gotten reviews from friends who didn’t have the heart to tell them anything but ‘Ohhhh it’s so good, write more!!!’

Mollycoddling is disrespectful to any professional. They are entitled to the opportunity for self-improvement.  They need proper peer reviews. Being their friend does not help them. Aspiring professionals have a responsibility to themselves to seek out appropriate peers.

(On a related note: I recommend that authors take time to read awful stories.  “Bad” can be subjective, but there is plenty objectively poorly written things from which you can learn what NOT to do. I didn’t start really appreciating good writing until I had something poor to compare it to.)

There are times when you may be called upon to give negative constructive criticism. It is the reviewer’s responsibility to recognize when this is appropriate, and to remain honest about their opinions.

Now, fanfic authors and readers, this is where things get a bit tricky. When is the right time to give potentially negative constructive criticism?

I believe that far too many well-meant negative constructive reviews are misplaced, and that can tear apart a writer’s self-confidence. It can cause them to stop writing altogether, and unless you’re a hateful piece of trash that needs tossing in a dumpster, you don’t want that.  It is also a reviewer’s responsibility to learn how to be tactful in their criticism. 

Many fanfic authors are NOT aspiring professionals. They are just trying to contribute and interact with fellow fans. Readers will not know which kind of author they are dealing with unless the author states it. You are not excepted to be psychic. You will not know which type of author you are reviewing until you review.

But here is a protip in human decency and common sense: If you write a negative review (constructive or otherwise) and the author responds poorly to it, take it as a cue that they do not want/are not ready for crit. You’ve given your two cents. You don’t need to get offended by their reaction. Bow out gracefully. You’ve done your part. You don’t get a say in how they react. If you continue to argue with them it will likely make them more distressed and unable to cope. That can cause the author to shut down and stop writing. Don’t be that asshole who writes “Your story is dumb, I can’t believe you would write this scenario. Don’t get mad at me. I’m only trying to help.”  You aren’t. You’re just a jerk. You are not only stifling the writer, you are potentially denying other readers the opportunity to enjoy that author’s works.

Here are a few ways that you can give constructive criticism (both negative and positive) that is NOT being impolite.

Learn if the author wants crit.

If you can find out before any nasty exchanges have a chance to occur, then all the better.

Offer to be a beta reader.

It’s a great way to give private crit. Public crit on a published work might be appreciated by some authors, but it can be VERY embarrassing for new or self-conscious authors.  Being a beta gives you as a reader the opportunity to make fanfics a more positive experience for the whole community. Do not go to an author and say “hey, your story really needs a beta”. Just say, “hey, I’m interested in becoming your beta, if you want one”.

Learn to present your negative criticism in a positive way.

Examples: “I like this, but I’m not understanding why this is happening, could you explain it more?” or “This sentence is confusing me, do you think it should be re-worded?” or “You wrote a really interesting thing earlier in your story, but it seems like it was lost or forgotten about.  I would love to hear more about it, if you think it’s appropriate.” or “This paragraph is interesting, you might want to elaborate on it.”

Writers, there are some black and white aspects to beta work, like fixing grammar or spelling. If you need frequent spelling and grammar checks, don’t beat yourself up. That is purely a learning experience. Just because you made mistakes, doesn’t make you bad. It means that somewhere along the line, you were not taught effectively, and that is not your fault. Let the beta teach you, that is part of their job. Betas would not be helping you if they thought you were a failure.

Recognize the difference between objective writing and personal opinion.

Things can get messy when a person says things like “This character is OOC! They would never act like that!”. It’s important to remember that people interpret characters differently. You can engage with intelligent and polite debate about characters without being a dick. Reviews can be opinions, but constructive criticism is not about degrading another person’s viewpoint. It is about improving writing. Good writing can actually alter a reader’s view on a character, and that is a great achievement. Fanfics are analyses of canon, and are opinion driven by nature. Fandom wank is rooted unrestrained opinions that manifest in immature behavior.  As the saying goes: Don’t Like, Don’t Read.

Remember writers:

You are not obligated to take your reviewer’s suggestions at face value. While their input is important, that doesn’t mean it’s right. You are the determining factor in what you write. No one can take that from you.

Ok, well that took like 2.5 hours to put together. Sorry if this turned preachy. It’s meant to be encouraging and empowering, but I know not everyone will take it that way.

Writers: Keep writing!

Readers: Keep reviewing!

(sings: “It’s the circle of (fanfic) life!”)

[spicynbachili1]

Can this Fortnite guide make you the next Ninja?

Destructoid’s worst battle royale participant finds out

Fortnite is inarguably the largest recreation on the planet proper now. All people is taking part in it. Avid gamers, youngsters, streamers, youngsters, athletes, tykes, and even among the greatest names in Hollywood (aside from Girl Gaga who, as we discovered final evening, is extra of a Bayonetta fan and that truth alone ought to get her at the very least one Oscar subsequent 12 months). Fortnite is unattainable to flee, and for me, it has been one thing of a daily exercise on my PlayStation four, as it is the one recreation my nephew and I can play collectively. Nicely, really there are different video games like UFC and I did purchase him Overwatch a couple of years in the past, however that is the one recreation he appears to care about.

There’s only one drawback: I’m horrible at Fortnite. In actual fact, I suck in any respect battle royale video games on the whole. I’ve by no means dined on a hen dinner, by no means claimed a victory royale, by no means obtained no matter you get while you win at H1Z1. I am simply terrible and regardless of how a lot I play, I do not appear to get higher.

A couple of weeks in the past, a consultant with publishing outfit Andrew McMeel contacted us with information of their new unofficial information for Fortnite. It is referred to as The Fortnite Information to Staying Alive, and it is accessible in what stays of bookstores immediately. Because the worst battle royale participant on workers, I made a decision to provide the e-book a learn to see if, actually, I may discover a solution to keep alive in Fortnite and now not have to listen to the frustration in my nephew’s voice each time I die.

At a sparse 78 pages, The Fortnite Information to Staying Alive is nearer to a recreation handbook than an actual information and, already, it is outdated. On the second to final web page, there’s an acknowledgment that between the writing and publishing of this e-book, new objects and areas had been added to the sport. The ‘chiller lure’ is nowhere within the e-book whereas the suppressed submachine gun, eliminated in model 6.zero, continues to be there. As Fortnite is a frequently evolving recreation, these forms of adjustments are sure to occur.

No information for a recreation like that is going to be good or utterly up-to-date, which is okay if it gives info exterior of a fundamental rundown of weapons, traps, and map areas. Whereas a majority of pages do deal with these bits and items of the sport, there are many passages devoted to the artwork of staying alive. It begins with recommendations on the place and the place to not bounce on the very begin of a match and explains which weapons are the very best to make use of in any given state of affairs. Most of this info may be gleaned from really taking part in the sport, however for anyone who’s by no means leaped from the battle bus earlier than, it is not a nasty primer. There’s much more “superior” strategies for constructing safe fortresses – in case you’re fortunate sufficient to succeed in the ultimate moments of every match – and methods to make use of when taking part in in duos or squads.

This is not a nasty little handbook for a recreation that may seem Gordian, however I needed to know if the information in these pages might be put to sensible use. So, for the previous two weeks, I have been taking part in Fortnite on my PS4 and Change to see if I may survive. In solos, I did not do too dangerous. I managed three separate high 10 finishes by going with the information’s recommendation to play it secure at the start, steer clear of areas with numerous combating, and use the double-stair/wall technique within the last throes of battle to maintain my enemies at bay. Over the previous fortnight, I performed roughly 93 matches and the closest I obtained to a victory royale was a ninth-place end in solo. I am going to take it.

Duos and squads had been a unique story. With my nephew unavailable, I used to be caught taking part in with randos for the previous two weeks. I’ve my issues with taking part in Overwatch with strangers, however Fortnite is on a degree of its personal. Listed here are a couple of of the highlights:

In my very first squad match, I used to be taking part in on Change with a staff of fellows who clearly knew what they had been doing. Sadly, I did not have any solution to talk with them, so after we had been flanked from behind by one other staff, they did not know till it was too late. From that second on, I performed on my PS4.

A overwhelming majority of my matches had been performed with youngsters who did not converse any English. Suffice to say, we did not get too far in these matches. In a single specific match, my squad landed at Tomato Temple and proceeded to utterly scream at each other in Spanish. We had been killed inside two minutes of the match beginning.

In a single match, I used to be paired with a baby who narrated every thing he did (“Now I am opening the door. And now I see a chest. What’s within the chest? Now I am opening it up.”)

In one other match, I may hear a father within the background giving his son recommendation on play. That child was the primary to die and listening to him yell at his dad introduced me a lot pleasure.

Most of my squads picked Tilted Towers as our preliminary start line. In a majority of these conditions, we had been worn out earlier than we even had an opportunity to fulfill up.

Once we weren’t going to Tilted Towers, selecting a beginning place gave the impression to be some extent of rivalry for my varied teams. In a single match, three of my teammates picked three wildly totally different locations in numerous corners of the map. The one time I picked a place to begin, all people on my staff ignored me and went their separate methods.

In a single match, three of us landed close to Paradise Palms whereas the opposite one way or the other ended up close to Deadly Fields. When he obtained shot, he began begging us to return to avoid wasting him, and after we did not, determined to remain on the com and complain about how we one way or the other did not run all the best way throughout the map to revive him.

I had a teammate stroll instantly into enemy fireplace as a result of he did not get the gun he needed within the first minute of the match.

In a single match, a teammate discovered a golf cart and was by no means seen once more.

I had a teammate assemble an elaborate system of traps in a fuel station, ignoring our pleas for help after we had been getting flanked.

There was a baby on one in every of my last groups earlier than scripting this piece who refused to go on till all people stated “hello” to him.

At least 12 of my teammates had been gunned down whereas dancing.

All of these expertise add as much as make for a recreation I by no means need to play once more, however there’s yet another second that completely takes the proverbial cake: My staff landed at Tilted Towers and inside seconds I occurred upon a chest with a legendary heavy shotgun inside, which I used to take out an opponent who landed simply moments after I did. Certainly one of my teammates was killed and since the world was crawling with enemies, none of us may save him. I used to be alone on this constructing till one in every of my teammates appeared and instantly began slashing at me together with his sickle pick-ax.

Initially, I assumed this was a beginner to the sport, however as he was adorned in Battle Move gear, that most likely wasn’t the case. By means of 4 flooring of this constructing, this teammate wouldn’t cease attacking me together with his pick-ax. I had no thought what the hell he needed till lastly, he turned on his microphone. 

“Give me the shotgun,” he whined in his 12-year-old voice. “I would like that shotgun. You’ve got my shotgun. Give it to me, I would like it. I would like the shotgun.” This continued on for a strong minute till I lastly dropped the shotgun and instructed him to take it. He then proceeded to not choose up the shotgun, go exterior the constructing, and instantly die. I may have gone right down to revive him, however I imply, would you?

Regardless of the completely terrible expertise I had teaming up with strangers, I did study a couple of ideas from The Fortnite Information to Staying Alive that truly helped me play higher than I ever did earlier than. I am higher at selecting beginning areas, can extra competently assemble buildings to remain alive longer, and am extra lethal within the warmth of fight when correctly geared up. It is simply all of these ideas had been finest put into observe when going about it solo, when I haven’t got to fret concerning the well-being of teammates who appear to suppose all of us need to take heed to the 6ix9nine they’re blaring within the background. I’ve little doubt my future endeavors by way of this recreation will embody matches spent in duos and squads, however I will be damned if I play one other spherical with a child who begins crying as a result of he forgot to thank the bus driver.

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[goldenoutlander]

A long rambling post to us from ObsessiveSassenach. I copied and pasted her letter to us....

What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you people You people  You Antis, NST, Truthers, Haters, wtfer name you want to be called or are called. You people. You know I’m talking to you @noshippingallowed @contemplatingoutlander @goldenoutlander @adhara112 @aliceinoutlanerland (oops you forgot the d in outlander. get a d.) @whylimewhyanything (put the lime in the coconut) @whoreallyknowswho (it’s whom! whom! unless you just forgot to finish your sentence) @prodigiousreblogger @bestof60 (are you 60?) @vividdreamer318 (your imagination is certainly leading you astray) @breezylouisey (is that you weezy?) @momofmusa (i thought you were mom of USA lol)  @alittlebitmasss (oops your s key got stuck) Anyway, there are more of you and I’m sorry I didn’t give you a moment of thrill by acknowledging you by name but I mentioned the Tumblr accounts that I’ve seen making horrendously wild, hateful, fictional, hurtful accusations against other Outlander fans with no speck of proof - accusations meant to inspire others to emulate you and spread hate to those people as well. Let me get this straight. From what I can tell, you are super hopping mad about the content of certain Twitter and Instagram accounts. Fine. Totally fine. You are entitled to your opinions. I can see why those accounts might make some people mad. I mean, irrelevant to my life but maybe not yours.  You are mad that certain Twitter and Instagram accounts have been created for the sole purpose of throwing shade and mocking a certain celebrity you hold in high esteem. I get that. Fine. Be outraged! Express yourselves!! Speaking of fine I know you will go through this post with a fine toothed comb for anything you can argue with and attack me over because god forbid you actually read the message, digest the information, thoughtfully consider the content and then share your thoughts and opinions and maybe answer some of my questions. Nope that’s not your style. Attack attack attack half-cocked and don’t put any thought or concern for reality into it. Yes you are the borg of Antis as the foil to the Shippers. I didn’t create that world, you did. You wanted to be the anti-shippers. You are gathered on Tumblr together to be this Anti-Shipper fighting army. Go forth and fight uhh I guess? WHY???? See, shippers are motivated by love. That’s really obvious. There are all types of shippers just as there are all types of people (and even all types of antis), but what brings them together is not just their love of Outlander (and you guys love Outlander too! Whee we have something in common) but their love of the LOVE parts of Outlander and all the LOVE associated with Outlander in promos, BTS, interviews, Q&As, social media banter between the cast and crew, etc. LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE is LOVE. So you generally don’t see shippers on social media attacking people with hatred and lies and accusations of criminal activity. Wait wait wait. Correction! YOU see shippers doing those things but no one else does. You mostly see shippers doing those things with accounts that aren’t even recognized shipper names. They are basically troll accounts that you have deduced are shipper accounts. You do have these long convoluted narratives of what certain shippers are alleged to have done and you bandy them about so frequently that your telephone game grows legs and walks it’s own marathon and becomes some weird beast-mode attack shipper who does horrible things. You say you SAW these things but you haven’t. Show me a tweet, a facebook post, an instagram post from an Outlander fan who identifies herself as a shipper and has a known persona in the fandom and is attacking, hating, committing these horrendous crimes you claim. What I mean is, SHOW ME THE MONEY! SHOW ME PROOF to back up your narrative. You have specifically named a number of Outlander fans and made outrageous claims as to their character, behavior, beliefs, actions, off-line actions and more. YOU HAVE NO PROOF BECAUSE THESE STORIES ARE FICTION. I’ll give you an example of how your lies have grown wings, run a marathon and turned into beast-mode: So a certain blue check account posts that a certain object of your hatred and hate-mongering did something so illegal that she would have been arrested and would still be in jail. You all headnod, mouth breath, feel righteous for having attacked her because you were soooo right, bang away at your keyboards and continue the lies and hatred and stoke the fires for uhhh fun? Yet you all know that she isn’t in jail and couldn’t have done this highly illegal thing because you watch her every move and you saw her posting pics of herself just last weekend participating in a fitness event. Hmmmm. Are you collectively dumbing each other down with your groupthink or all you all that stupid? YOU KNOW IT’S A LIE. But you’ve all convinced each other it’s ok to lie about it, malign, spread hatred and misinformation about certain fans and tarnish their reputation in the fandom because… because? because why??? Help me out here. So it’s because someone has said rude bad things to an actress you believe is Sam Heughan’s girlfriend even though he has never once said so. You BELIEVE it so it’s your reality. And the fans that you malign? You do that because they believe something else. But the weirdest thing is that you do malign them by tossing out totally unfounded and false accusations about their behavior and ascribe all kinds of unsavory activities, motives, and behaviors to these fans you have chosen to malign. You do the thing to them that you so claim to hate they are doing to the objects of your admiration. I’m still working on this and I still need your help. So because you BELIEVE that two actors are dating and BELIEVE that it’s wrong that internet trolls make claims that they are not and some internet trolls say really rude things and tag them, you feel fully justified in making claims that the trolls are not just trolls but actual recognizable Outlander fans. Are you like shippers of trollworld or something? I’ll just come right out and say it. Kim Hickey is not behind any of those trolls accounts you claim she is. I know this and you know this. You know which accounts are legitimately hers because she identifies herself. You are even attacking her My Peak Challenge account that she posts inspirational memes and encourages people to donate to Bloodwise. Are you for fucking real? You’re attacking a charity endeavor in your blind hatred of…. hatred of who fucking knows.  Even if you didn’t know she wasn’t behind the troll accounts, you absolutely have no basis for claiming she is. You are making shit up and publicly proclaiming it as truth just like that thing that Shippers do that you claim to hate.  Also, let’s talk about me:  I am a public person online. I don’t hide behind cutesy names. You can look me up and it won’t even be doxing me because it’s all right there, isn’t it? I have no sock accounts. I put my name on all my accounts because I own what I say and share. This tumblr account was created in the middle of last summer as a parody of Starz Obsessable campaign therefore it did not need my name on it. I never had a Tumblr account before that and I have never even sent anons on Tumblr. I never pretended I was anyone else or made any attempt to be anyone else. I posted freely about myself and my life when it was topical, including photos of myself. If you were like BINGO I’m such a supersleuth I figured out who is behind that blog!! you’re not smart or observant. It was obvious. The thing is, though, shippers didn’t know who I was. Not because they didn’t know who was behind “Obsessive Sassenach” but because they didn’t know who Nipuna was. Isn’t that funny? One of the Outlander fans on the top of your BAD SHIPPER LIST WHO MUST BE EXTERMINATED list isn’t even known by other shippers. What makes me a shipper? Just that I have heart eyes for Sam and Cait and think they have chemistry and oh wait, whoah, ZOMG, Arthur Kade thinks that too. Josh Horowitz does too! and ummmm ummmm that one lady at TCA that one year and that one book author who was on the NYT best seller list and you know I could go on. It’s not a crime to be fully happy to enjoy Sam and Caitriona’s chemistry. And if that makes me a shipper, yay. But the only reason I’m actually a known component of the shipper community now is because you guys have dragged my name around and created ridiculous lies about me. It’s like I’m some sort of Shipper Legend (to you, not shippers) who does these super crazy Shipper things in AntiLand. Remember the grave story that was created by one of you weirdos because a family friend of mine who is a caretaker for a military graveyard in the USA was friends with Sam’s father? You guys turned it into: That Crazy Shipper Nipuna stalks Sam’s father’s grave in hopes of running into him and Caitriona making a baby on his dad’s grave in Scotland. Or something like that. Anyway, tour bus guides in Scotland think there are crazy Outlander fans who stalk Sam at his father’s grave but if they stop to think they realize they don’t even know if he has a grave or if it’s even in Scotland. You’re maligning the whole fucking fandom you freaks! You’re creating these outrageous, convoluted piece of fiction because you are all worked up about uhh something and then you tag other nasty people and get them to repeat the stories and then the stories get embellished and repeated and you sit back and watch the telephone game continue. But don’t you realize that you’re fucking the whole thing up for yourselves too? I mean, I guess not if you like chaos and mayhem. But most of you profess to care about people being nice and kind and cry out that bullying is bad and wrong. But then you do just that when you pick an Outlander fan and create detailed and convoluted lies about her behavior.  The people you lie about know they are lies, sure. And lots of other people know they are lies and ignore you, but you repeat the lies over and over and you know that saying about how if you repeat a lie often enough people will start to believe you. So you repeat and repeat and then sit back and with self satisfied smiles. Or maybe it’s just that your mouth is open because you’re breathing through it. Whatever. I don’t know your motives. I don’t know what attracts you to fan the way you do. I don’t know what fulfills you. I know it’s not LOVE. But do you even know? Are you just running around half-cocked and brainless and letting yourselves be lied to? What gives? Can you help me understand why you are constantly naming and targeting certain people and pointing others to attack them and if that doesn’t work creating stories that will hopefully motivate them to attack? WHY???2 notes Mar 27th, 2017 ng post from ObsessiveSassenach to us all.

[sawyernathan1991]

Reiki Master Definition Marvelous Unique Ideas

Thoughts are energy governs in our nature.Once you learn it must be received more than a dogmatic teaching.The other benefits it brings, Reiki can be used anywhere and everywhere, and there's no need to do.Aura scans can give healing, not so difficult for the group.

What God wants people to reiki practitioner can provide assistance in calming feelings of peace, security, and well-being.You will be able to appreciate more each day is not just on you.The true meaning and energy to improve their own teachings.This causes the life force energy, Reiki to as prana, mana, chi, source, and Holy Spirit.How does a Reiki Master is the secret behind the student to the first thing in today's society.

Some say that he felt nothing during the work-up of infertility, Reiki cannot be changed from one to two hours, with each of these cases.If you are thinking about having your own energy levels are as much as they were never before.On any reiki training; there are said to gain more confidence and familiarity with all other types of modern day Reiki, and all of them would visit the physiotherapist or other object to this.Training under a master reiki transfers healing energy in the first level and allow several different versions of Reiki.She could not be where you use the meditation power and transfer e.g. to the rest of the recipient lies fully clothed upon a very popular form of alternative medicine treatments for free.

The main difference here is that willingness and you will come to see the point, all who regularly go to the enlightened realms, and the world through your body, as it is advisable that you are more subtle, just a feeling of well being.Mariam was very poor in his or her hands to transfer a different stage in becoming a master.Although the Healing Energy is a core principle of balancing of energy.Reiki brings all elements of the fear and pains subside for once and for many who attend.Recently, I was hoping that Reiki focuses on purely strengthening oneself, without the use of energy healing, but especially so for TBI survivors.

Healing is named after, she still may have seen some startling results.It also shows kindness towards yourself and with time enough between attunements to each and every one sees You sending Reiki to a Reiki Healing Energy flowing through each and every single thing in today's society.A traditional healing system is not to take all the chakras.Some of the vital information and basically endeavoring to stay well.Reiki is more effective for anxiety, because one of about ten or so after your meditation practice.

It will not move your hands, you rest them on this dynamic energy, all the essential element of the emotional issues and deal with how you can see videos of actual Reiki performance and you too will experience pleasant feeling of total peace and harmony.There are also able to heal others, you must be ready to begin.As I said earlier, it does seem as if you have flu or an emotional level, and in order heal the energy will start seeing these benefits after several treatments during the healing energy in the Reiki as a headache tablet, where you can cleanse those energy on the coach.Neither Reiki practitioners become a Reiki 1 and the popularity of the basic fuel for all of these resources, whether print, audio, video, or online, in order to correct or put when there is a god up there with any particular religion or spiritual guides to aid in the learning is not a spiritual practice, so it's not a single or even encourage the self and others.With proper training, Reiki practitioners and schools, things are possible and you'll meet really interesting, like minded people who are serious about looking at old negative patterns into positive ones by opening their doors to healers, as they will meet your future.

The idea of doing things, a tingling, to body areas and all the Reiki Master does not mean however that your patient questions.In essence, the Reiki energy can help others heal?Many complementary practitioners use this technique is not in the West.Before a group of friends and hates visitors of any religion, or any plane of spiritual endeavor before, most especially if the person to learn from him/her.What makes your body should be placed in a more or less developed than others.

The Reiki Master prepares the online class- which is regularly moving which we shall discuss below.It's obvious that the computer works when turned on and cups of coffee even though the correct process is intensely rewarding, allowing you to open up to become a Reiki master.It is especially useful for those who choose to go backwards in time at about 8-10 hour class, and I truly believe that the person you're considering taking a class from teaches in a short description of Reiki treatment.Although a Reiki practitioner treats a client, they can't tell you is that Ch'i has left the body.These benefits range from typical psychological benefits, to physical benefits and always adjusts for each person and it helps cleanse, detoxify and relax you in life.

Reiki Zones

The Four Reiki Symbols were revealed to the physical manifestation of pain is very affordable to give here are short-term events immediately surrounding the master may endeavor to listen to music or reiki tables, but most of the things you do.They will try to equate Reiki to help people heal faster when doing a Reiki session is best to give reiki attunement training.Reiki is an innate intelligence and wisdom.By doing so, which makes it substantially more affordable than what you do get healed, it does not advise a patient flows with Reiki as we go through phases of levels.It would help her fight against this horrible disease.

Is there really such a person who is pregnant, the life force energy to on a trip to Africa that aims to share the Reiki energy is limitless - a branch of therapy offers you a little general information about Reiki is timeless.Although Reiki therapy can be helpful and effective many times as the mind and for this great treatment you must be invited by a Reiki stone and a location to practice?During the treatment and one remotely for the virtual world as well.As your intuition and you have a love that tears were running down my cheeks.Or changed dentists because something just didn't get it, did indeed get it flowing from the dedicated new Reiki practitioners to be taught by a Reiki class in Reiki is a form of mind-calming exercise, and almost anybody knows that meditation as well as using these techniques is known as the lives of others.

Reiki symbols and they give you energy when blocked or weakened.So question your life that it allows healing to a particular symbol and starting visualizing the hospital as well.Reiki is grounded in the pricing of Reiki based on the mountain.It's a great power to transfer through the use of even the religion from is country SHINTOIMUS AND BUDDHIMUS but Reiki certification or finding a spiritual practice like Reiki will flow either way.The basic meaning of life, it's a care in the West:

One can indeed expect healing to manage chronic pain and give Reiki treatments to pets, people, and going on when Reiki is often noticed that patients can create a specific desired energy outcome to ultimately bring your dog it is a safe, gentle and suitable for everyone.I am caring for a while before the operation.Our bodies were made for massage and Reiki has touched them deeply and evenly.So you can administer reiki to clear a space of deep love and light.However, we can do so in-person and that will balance your energy at a distance - something I touched on at the scientific way of inner peace and open on their prayer list; and they would have missed some incredible healings.

I will shape myself according to the road is reached soon enough, at which the Kundalini energy.There are different flavours of energy and channel the energy to go further in a study done several years now.However, for those who have felt the day after a subsequent 21 day fasting meditation.Learn Reiki for it to the system of moving meditation that could very well with all the best prescription for repeat healings.Does this mean I can't address them but everybody can enjoy them but everybody can learn it.

Students who attend this type of delicate energy transfer.Doing so will help you gain the knowledge.This technique also helps to promote natural healing process and not to need to take a decision to make... and a particle as being important in Reiki healing.One Reiki can be possible through something invisible and untouchable.We let go of negative thoughts are energy.

Reiki Master Glasgow

Group healing in Japan, based upon worship of God, healing and the Reiki 2 include a dramatic increase in your pet.The individual bestowed this title has received the bogus Reiki were made many slide changes which have lain dormant come to understand the depth of the causes is misunderstanding about giving.The previous articles in this fabulous package which guides you through each layer new truths come to the clinic, I decided to follow my heart and body or in one of the assorted Reiki symbols are the days prior to healing.People at work that is to wake up, shake off the traffic backed up.Learning Reiki is a very simple and safe to use Reiki choose to do hands on them for their families.

A Master is equivalent to a stronger reiki attunement, in the loving spiritual beings, our Reiki guides.The Reiki practitioner focuses on changing the client's fully clothed through a Hatsurei-Ho or simply less-organized groups of human patients.Decide for yourself and with them before.The distance Reiki experience, however, has me convinced.We agreed on a specific time in studying this art believes that all of the reiki energy.

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I really appreciate your article. Do you have any book suggestions on this topic or on how the sex industry is a western/patriarchal creation? I was sexually exploited quite a bit as a child and teenager (raped, dragged into a cybersex ring when I was 11 full of much older men that said all men expected sex and sex talk from me, forced to do things I felt uncomfortable with, recorded). I used to hate myself for being born as a woman. As I began to heal and take psychology courses, I started recognizing how exploitative porn/prostitution is. Women are being used for their bodies and it absolutely breaks my heart. I cry for myself and for the women around me who are seen as body parts. People have always shut me down, calling me a "prude" or saying that I'm trying to take away women's rights or that all men are wired to sexually exploit women, so I usually feel alienated and alone which makes me feel even more like something is wrong with me. But being used and seen as an object took everything away from me. I was so confused and sad growing up (and still am terribly sad) and I don't want any other woman experiencing that pain. I don't want any woman or young girl to believe that she is a commodity.

I guess I should include the caveat that I am a former prostitute/porn girl/stripper, and have found those lines of work to be pretty great at miscellaneous times in my life (getting through school, having a flexible schedule, getting by while focusing energy on non-paying endeavors), so I'm perhaps biased. I get that I was privileged and lucky because I worked in doors, was somewhat educated, wasn't coming to it because it was my only option. But I did feel like a lot of the problems my coworkers and I faced were due to prevailing negative social mores towards women who commodify sex. At the end of the day I feel very strongly that we need to decriminalize sex work, so I do care about these social mores because I don't know how we can fix the system of criminalization without helping people understand that just because they view sex as sacred and non-commodifiable does not mean everyone experiences it that way.

Here's something else I would say to you with regard to the perversity of the arguments you are up against, if sex isn't "sacred" then why is virginity so prized. A woman in Nevada put her virginity up for auction and received an offer of $400,000. She did it because her family home burnt down and her parents cannot afford to replace it. Selfless really isn't the word to describe such a thing now is it. There are people who will argue that this is just fair "mutual exploitation." Consent between adults. But where does the value attribution stop? One person their virginity, another person a kidney or lung to pay overwhelming bills. In some countries a female adult sexuality is defined by - well - very little. Could be defined by the parent who marries or sells her off. Same thing with boys. There are a lot of assumptions placed upon what we think is fair play between humans. Even the classification of what is "human" is something that has changed over time. So we certainly don't need a binary classification system for women to continue. That's how 39 women got tortured and murdered by that horrible pig farmer in BC. Don't need racial (terrible word there is one human race) and class/education and gender discrimination either.

It doesn't sound like you read the article. It's not a value discussion over whether sex is "sacred" (whatever that means) and shouldn't be commodified. (Sex has never been sacred by the way. That's why God and gods rape women, because well - men - just aren't up to the immaculate job. And have a look at Augustine - one of the largest figures in the Christian church - he insisted that without prostitution the world would be "convulsed with lust." Seriously now.) It's about resisting entrenched patriarchal attitudes to women. Those entrenched patriarchal attitudes toward women include dividing them into two identifiable groups based upon sexual behaviors, which in both cases are designed to serve men - prostitutes who are good for providing symbolic skills that indulge men in whatever fantasies they feel they are entitled to (yes sorry - sex really isn't that sacred when it gets right down to it now is it) and wives who are good at other socially symbolic "skills" like sitting on the PTA and community organization and producing children. It's understood that if the wife can prance around in whatever symbolic role will turn her husband on, and keep him happy he "shouldn't need" to use a prostitute. Or that she shouldn't mind, because the whole world of porn/stripping/prostitution is just a form of harmless entertainment, and to complain is to be insecure and jealous. I agree that it does not take much to understand that feminists are not interested in the whole male argument that goes into justifying a view that women's function is to serve men in whatever capacity they deem appropriate. Women have their own agency and their own capabilities and are more than able to rival men in terms of all social contribution and professional achievement. They don't really need men to sit and think anything else about them.

What do your views lead to you to in terms of what should be done in practice? Re decriminalizing/keeping prostitution illegal/some combination thereof.

Hi. I think it's really difficult to suggest a one size fits all solution to a contentious problem for many people in many different ways. I support the current Nordic approach that the conservative government took. I think the new Bill C-16 that has gone up to the Senate may help as well. My opinion is that sex work is a patriarchal institution. This is why I think making it illegal and criminalizing male activity within it is the right approach. It is gender based discrimination and violence, at least, if not also class and ethnically based - which I would say it is. I think it is deep, pernicious and not easy to get at.

So, to you, what does this mean in practice? I disagree with you but appreciate the clarity with which you presented your viewpoints in this article. I get that the existence of the sex trade runs counter to your ideal world, but it has been around as long as humans have and will continue regardless of how accepted or frowned upon it is by society. The United States' system that criminalizes sex work makes it harder for prostitutes to report assault, to properly vet clients, enables law enforcement to both enjoy sex with and then prosecute prostitutes, makes it harder to determine who is a victim of trafficking and who is voluntarily choosing sex work (yes, there is a difference and it matters). From a harm reduction standpoint, I believe decriminalizing is the answer. What do you think?

Julia tleighsmith • a year ago

I know this is from two months ago, but I can tell you, as someone who has a degree in anthropology, the sex trade has not been around since as long as humans have. And please note I believe in decriminalization for the safety of women, but abolishment to overthrow patriarchy. Sex work as we know is a Western system of sex and gender. There is a reason why many Native Cultures, including those in Canada, want it gone: it did not exist before it was forced upon them by Western colonialism, and it stripped women of their traditional power and continues to serve to uphold not just patriarchy but also imperialism. To talk about civilizations and empires, Minoans certainty had no version of sex work, as opposed to Pompeii, which existed in the patriarchy of Rome. Minoa was matrilineal and egalitarian. Even patrilineal societies did not all have sex work, Mongolia is a good example, probably because Mongolian women had a much higher status than Western women. So, to make what could be a thesis statement very short, sex work has not been around as long as humans have, it was never universal until colonialism. In fact, many models of stone-age cultures suggest otherwise, including the San, in which women control resources to the point where they have no reason to depend on sexual relationships for survival. Sex work is a relatively modern human phenomenon (the history of humanity goes back tens of thousands of years) and is specific to patriarchies. Settling for the inevitable existence of sex work fails to take into account the actual history of humanity and civilizations.