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#and if it is i feel like maybe you just shouldnt be having that much cheap energy drink in the first place?
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
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hella1975 · 2 months
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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nyaskitten · 8 months
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Just went back and watched Ash fight scenes and if they don't at the VERY LEAST let smoke eminate off Cinder in all his fight scenes you will see me on national and international TV.
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marsbotz · 3 months
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not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time
#like the take of ohhhh Well this animal is smart and shows emotions!!! it might even be smarter than humans!!!#as if that matters literally at all#like the argument abt fish or hamsters or w/e being stupid (wrong) so it doesnt matterrrrr if they dont get cared for properly#as if its ever ok to mistreat animals.#in general the idea around smaller or less relatable animals being worth less is super frustrating#like if u post abt microwaving ur hamster when u were 6 everyones like ‘lmaoooo i did the same thing’#but if u posted that abt a dog….? The Gallows#we shouldnt have to care abt mistreatment of animals bc theyre cute or funny or smart#i just watched blackfish again and it annoyed me how much ppl were arguing abt the orcas being so smart and emotional etc#which is true. but thats just smth that makes their captivity harder. u jnow. like if they were simple and had simple needs it would still#be wrong if they werent met#its just such a huge issue bc of how hard the needs are to meet in captivity#same as like. bears and shit. you physically cannot give them enough territory to stop them going insane#ik theres ppl who believe All captivity is wrong#like my strpmum is one who believes nobody should own Any pet#which is. Imo a stupid argument and not at all sustainable. ppl need companions thats why weve had dogs and cats for thousnads of years#but also they are such successful pets bc their needs are so easy to meet!!!!!#its this misconception that fish or rodents are Easy Beginners pets… in reality they are 100x harder. but their lives are worth less to ppl#bc they dont show love the same way#well. anyways im not very good at expressing my thoughts abt serious stuff#but its smth that rlly upsets me#its frustrating too bc ppl either dgaf abt animals aside from Maybe the cute ones or r too extreme in advocating for the freedom of animals#like u can absolutely give indoor cats proper enrichment. its just slightly more effort#and its not as simple as just. emptyinb out the zoos. READ ABT KEIKO!!!!!#i feel its a very interesting topic. but ppl r very b/w on it#idk i feel the majority of ppl know so little abt animals its like. impossible to get thru#like ok cool u think zoos r bad bc the lions get saddddd. but u also think snakes and bugs and rodents are nothing but disease spreaders#and cant also have complex lives#Tsk. Whateevr
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vaugarde · 10 days
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okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
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piplupod · 7 months
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why do counsellors think it's helpful to tell you "you shouldn't feel that way!" when you tell them something like "I am so stressed about spiders to the point where i have crying breakdowns thrice a week" or "I feel like I am somehow secretly a terrible person that needs to push everyone away to keep them safe from the rot that is inside of me"
like ... golly gee, thank you so much, that's soooo helpful, can't believe i never thought "wow! i shouldn't be feeling this way!" before, pretty crazy that you can just cure me with that one declaration!
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aw-bean-s · 3 months
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I think I got possibly the absolute worst outcome for the tribunal you could possibly get and then slept from 12pm to 7pm
#SEVEN FUCKING PEOPLE DEAD#jesus christ#i dont think it couldve gone worse#im googling two seconds#yep jesus christ the only possible death i didnt get was kourtenar and i dont think i wouldve given a shit if he died#what the hell hiw did i fuck it up so unbelievably fucking bad#i failed some checks i really fucking shouldnt have#jesus this is what i get for being bad at murder mysteries#motherfucker#i actually feel genuinely really awful like sick to my stomach#my teeth started chattering during it i was so hopped up and stresssssed#fuck im tempted to cheese it to try get a better outcome but shit man i dont think i personally could#i have no idea how i could have fixed any of it i fucked up before i even walked into it#god what the fuck#im like genuinely embarrassed and kind of ashamed?#someone said you have to let shanky run how do you do that i genuinely do not remember a decision like that#fuckin cheesecloth brain fucking hell#couldnt have gone worse if ibfuckin tried#motherfucking disco elysium#this is so embarrassing admitting this#the power of friendship DID in fact fail me#well now i have to play the game and not fuck up like an idiot#god i feel so terrible how did i screw things uo so much#admittedly maybe i should be nicer to myself considering i'd maybe gotten 3 hours of sleep yesterday and had been awake for nearly 24 hours#(ive been sleeping weird dont worry about it)#but man i dont think i couldve made it go much better but even 6 deaths is better than 7#sprry for the long tags i am just miserable#i also think im sick? maybe a covid test in my future
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tomfordjasminrogue · 10 months
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rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
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kimmkitsuragi · 2 months
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i need to be calm and keep my wonder n excitement alive bc as Things come closer i start to get scared and numb and start fumbling etc... but it's fine it will be fine
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the-converse-high-top · 5 months
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i love :D being sick :D
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mayjeffneverstopyou · 2 months
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Everybody learns at their own pace everybody learns in their own time everybody everybody learns at the time best for them everybody-
#.txt#AGONIZING#the desire to improve right.this. second to unattainable degrees is crushing me oh nature cleooo#so many skilled artists and writers to be inspired from and motivated by#I REALIZE its like. all 20-smiths but I just love their stuff so much TT#and look. I still have to do my yearly america cringe post redraw and I’m excited BUT LAST YEAR I literally preferred the previous#and writing again and realizing I might have REGRESSED?!?!? from 2021?!?!? well maybe not BUT#its a tough lesson to learn that just because you age you don’t improve things you associate ur identity with if. you don’t. PRACTICE#like idk#anatomy not good enough#dialogue not good enough#not doing trends means less acknowledgement and that HURTS but I just don’t like making shit idc about it so it doesn’t feel worth it#going to college and realize it ur gonna have to stop being a kid and being ok with inadequacy#loving talking to fandom ppl but thinking oh ill never be as charismatic never be as interesting or as knowledgeable about history and#lighting#PEOPLE SHOULDNT COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THOSE 5+ YEARS OLDER bc DUH they’re gonna often be better#I just. havin a creative bump where it feels like ill never bring my ideas to as good fruitation as others can#well. um. yea if that’s about it. I’m gonna go plan for tomorrows usual week comic cuz I’m flying to England at 5pm and wont have time/bars#ill be in Europe for the next three weeks and I’m very excited#just feeling all around inadequate if cuz Europeans often judge you REALLY harsh when they find out your American#I just need to POWER THOUGH and have a good time and make the comics and write the stories I wanna write#cuz that’s all I can do and the only way to get better at walking is to walk the walk
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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zoppzoop · 4 months
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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hecksupremechips · 5 months
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Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that
#persona#shinjiro aragaki#hes the only one i really respect here#its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much#just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover#and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing#its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man#and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal#but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way#its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try#seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk#and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like#if he can make it then why cant i#and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn#but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless#its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional#character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me#i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩#anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it
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frobby · 5 months
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boy son and girl daughter are the only characters who matter in kaiju no.8
#yall think im joking but im not#can i complain for a second?#i think kaiju no. 8 is one of the most clear examples of shounen degredation that ive seen in something that hasnt been axed#ok so im caught up but i havent read the spinoff and like#who even are these character?#what do we know about kafka other than his motivations????#uhh hes middle aged and ummmm hes childhood friends with mina.......... uhhhhh hes nice?#yall its been 100 chapters#that extends to literally every character#boy son( reno) what do we know about him#we know his sad backstory but like we dont even know what he was doing prior to taking the exam#girl daughter (kikoru) we know more about but shes got other story problems#but i still dont think i could list anything other than her involvement with kaijus#it just feels like we've went from big action to big action and it feels hollow cuz i barely know these people#and i get it maybe we learn more about them from the spinoff#but i shouldnt have to read a spinoff.... to know the main character#after 100 chapters#and its really not even the authors fault#the character interactions we get? ARE GOOD#its just so apparent that this is what happens when you have to always be amping up the action to not get cancelled#we're losing so much#if you asked me who my favorite character was and what about them i liked i dont think i would be able to honestly answer#and thats sad#kaiju no. 8#sorry this is a really complainy post i just i really wanted to like this manga#and its not even bad its just disapointing#on a brighter note after binging the whole thing in like a day i had a dream set in the universe#and it was like kafka and mina's relationship but instead of childhood friends it was 2 guys who were actually married#so it gave me that at least
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