#i also think im sick? maybe a covid test in my future

[aw-bean-s]

I think I got possibly the absolute worst outcome for the tribunal you could possibly get and then slept from 12pm to 7pm

[pandemicspring]

Here we are on our 2nd Christmas eve. I tested positive for covid today. I got it after I traveled to Kalamazoo for a few days to visit my family. It’s most likely the omicron variant which is now sweeping the country. Highly contagious, but lucky for me, much more mild. I’ve had my 3 shots. I got my booster on Dec 11th so being sick is kind of just having a cold. It’s so unusual to have a cold these days. I knew when my nose kept running that I had to take an at home test. I was shocked by how quickly it came up positive. The tests always say it takes 15 minutes to get results, but when I saw it, it took only 2 maybe 3. The rest of my family is okay. I had one cousin get sick, but she’s feeling better after a couple days. From what I understand at this point it’s gone around my family a couple times and they have high levels of immunity.

The bad part is that means my brother won’t be able to work at his job during christmas break. He doesn’t have symptoms yet, but he’s definitely been exposed since he’s living with me. That is my fault. It was not so urgent for me to visit our family.

I remember when everything began, we used to say that eventually everyone will get it and that our precautions are just to slow the speed so that we don’t overwhelm the hospitals. But now the hospitals are overwhelmed and also everyone is getting it. There was a long long time when no one I knew was getting sick. Then starting with thanksgiving, I began to hear of one friend after another. My brother and I have agreed that we need to go back into taking it easy. Only going out for school and work. No more gathering. I feel so glad that I have practice and experience and that this year I can be a good quarantine buddy for him. This year I know all the ways not to go crazy.

The united states surpassed 800,000 deaths the other day. Thats 4x the original amount that was predicted when we could hardly even see how 200,000 would happen. Now it doesn’t seem surprising. There’s mask laws here in Madison, but in Michigan people didn’t hardly wear them at all.

I came to the realization recently that I can drop out of grad school. And to the realization that my decision to come here was largely driven out of fear..like most of my decisions from last fall/winter. These realizations have been very good for me. I’m happy to have been brought here to Madison. Now especially I’ll be happy when I make my new life here.

2nd christmas just me and one other person in our apartment. We didn’t buy groceries because the original plan before I tested positive was for my mom to get them when she drove here, but now she’s not coming. I do have a banana plant with an ornament on it as a christmas tree. underneath it I put a bag with a bow willed with presents for my brother. He got me something too. I’m excited to share those things.

I don’t know what the future will bring now. Im sending the best into 2022.

edit: i spent some tome reading my past blog posts. i had forgotten how seriously responsible and stressed i felt about locking down properly for most of this. Sooo much has changed in the past 2 years and also, much has changed since we’ve spent nearly 8months with widespread vaccines. Also, a lot hasnt changed. Can’t let the case load mean less because we’re going into year 3. I had become very careless. Got to remember that this is life now. It’s not going away.

Especially I feel embarrassed thinking about how hard we used to judge people that were traveling and being irresponsible. Past me would judge present me. Past me stays judging present me because in these times of the pandemic, I’ve broken so many of my values and the things I used to think I would never do. I’m getting back to them now, but i do take the greatest shame.

[selfcareparker]

hi aria <3 (i just noticed “love letters only” LMAO well good thing this is one of those 😌) it’s lovely anon, sorry for being a shit friend lol but here’s everything i’ve had drafted to send you (well not everything! that would be a lot HAHA)

this is more recent but: can’t wait for the blurb!! (you said it was a blurb right? i can’t find it on your blog now but it was something hdgshs) and the squeaky sneakers 😭😭 stoppppp i can’t

about your theme and your pants lmao:

aw come on i bet ur theme will look great :) aND IM HAPPY ABOUT YOUR TROUSERS LOL but i’ve really been up to nothing? WAIT THATS A LIE- so school ended (yay!!) and ya know i’m still dancing bUT i didn’t go to rehearsal last night (the 27th) bc i hurt my back :/ long story short i was at my brothers football game and they won (like for the first time lol) and i got really excited, i jumped and when i landed (which was on two feet!) my back immediately hurt. i’m okay though!! i went to the doctor and they said it’s just a backache, take it easy, don’t go to dance until next week so yeah :)

update!!! i went to dance last night (the 3rd), almost had an anxiety attack because the it’s the sECOND TO LAST REHEARSAL UNTIL THE SHOW AND I FEEL LIKE IM STILL LOOKING LIKE SHIT 🙃 but my teachers are really nice and they told me i look goooodddd and it’s fineeee so it calmed me down a bit :)

i’m still singing too, i’m in this group which i hate lol but my mom unfortunately said i should finish it out, 1) bc my younger brother is in it and he’s really excited about it which ya know yea i get it, and i don’t mind, 2) bc she paid for it 😭😭 but yeah i can’t wait until that’s over!!

clearly i am very nervous about everything haha anyway, i’m gonna be active more though . i miss talking to you, like a lot lol & i feel like it doesn’t come through BC IM NEVER ACTIVE 😭 but i think you’re the coolest person and whenever i see you post or reblog i’m like ARIA!!! so. love u girl, expect me to blow up your ask box and make u sick of me 🙃 (kidding lol, also i’ve been using that emoji a lot recently..)

ALSO ONE OTHER THING THAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU: there was a thing you reblogged AGES AGO and it was about kids who want their parents to get divorced lmao and how they’re awesome. anyway THANKS HAAH, this is probably so random, but anyway i’ve given you like bits and pieces of my home life but i can’t wait for my mom and dad to split up lol like honESTLY WAITING FOR IT

god this makes me sound bored, lonely, and depressed. #lonely anon is really coming through huh. but how’ve you been? just tell me all about it, clearly i’m doing nothing so <3

Snsjsh i forgot to post the blurb (idk if i should call it a blurb or not tbh?) lmao i got nervous and saved it to my drafts even though i had it scheduled for 45 mins ago </3 but i’ll post it after i respond to this ask (idk why but i was so excited reading your ask dksjmm <333)

Omg no need to apologise!!! Also you can literally send me everything and anything you want i’ll always be excited every time lmaoo even if it’s a lot, that’s even better!!!!

I was about to say get well soon but you said you had your rehearsal so that means your back is better i assume (and hope) which is amazing ❤️ (also congrats to your brother <3 i died when you said it was the first time they won aufisjssjk)

GOOD LUCK (even though you don‘t need it 😌 i‘m with your teachers on this one!) FOR YOUR SHOW I KNOW YOURE GONNA BE AMAZING AAAHH💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 Oh also i realised i dont even know what type of dance you do?

Not the singing group thingjfjhh😩 But yeah like your mom said it‘ll probably be amazing for your brother! And idk which one you‘re talking about so idk how old he is but i‘m sure in the future he‘ll be grateful and think it‘s cool that you got to do it together 🥺!!!! but also it‘ll probably be over soo quick and you‘ll be like oh that was quick so. (What was that Sentence dkdjdjjd)

I get that you‘re nervous tho :( but i hope it‘s not a constant state of anxiety and maybe you can change it into being excited about it (isn‘t that what Tom always says? I don‘t find it very helpful 💀 but maybe you do <3)

Dkdkdkdk the parent thing 😭 my parents used to argue alllllllll the time and i‘d like cry in my room every night lmao (is this too personal? lnaodjdkd i mean i feel comfortable with you so idc) and my mom/mum (lol) still says why did i marry your father? at least once a week and I know she MEANS it too but💀 i mean idk what exactly your situation is but i know everything‘ll turn out the best way possible (yk on a long term basis) and maybe you‘ll get two Christmases so that‘s good difkldndns

Okay what‘s new with me.... nothing lmao. I think i‘ll get my driver‘s license soon like i was supposed to have my test in june but that‘s probably not happening so i hope my test will be during the beginning of july because mid/late july i have exams and that‘s already enough stress :( (also i feel like i‘ve been talking about my driving for like six months and still don‘t have my license eldjdkdj (or is it licence???? I think license is the verb but idk) BUT! that‘s just because i didn‘t have any lessons between december and march? because of covid and i‘ve been just waiting to get a test date since april 😭 but because of covid everything is taking so long and yeah </3

Talking about driver‘s license (🥴) i have finally listened to more olivia rodrigo songs and i reallly dont like the sad ones bc they give me anxiety tbh (but most sad songs do so), but i like brutal and jealousy, jealousy (or is it called jealous, jealous? Idk). I have no idea if you even like her but i remember how you said deja vu was good so maybe you like her?

Also I‘m getting my first covid vaccine next week (i know the US is way ahead of us lol but I’m getting mine very early like most of my friends couldn‘t get theirs yet so) BUT i‘m scared that i have covid 😭😭 i went to a friend‘s house the other day and she was gonna walk me home but then we met people from some of her uni courses and i didn‘t mind them (don’t know how i managed that without an anxiety attack tbh) but we were very close and i accidentally hugged one of them dkdkdjdj (accidentally because i forgot covid exists) andddd i‘ve had a cough for a few days but i‘m probably (most likely) just paranoid. also idk if i should cancel my driving lesson which is friday (one day after my jab)(is the word jab a british thing? my (british) grandparents keep saying jab)

Uni has been a bit boring to be honest shdldhsldh but i guess boring is better than hard? not much to talk about theresjdkdkd

Snsnsjsh well i hope you‘re doing well otherwise and i know you‘ll slay your performance and the singing thing will be over soo quick so yeah. you can always come to my inbox (even with non love letters (tbh i thought i‘d changed that to just say letter box dudlfhdkdk)) 💘💘💘💘 love youuuuuu