#and idk this whole thing has been so fun and kind of amazing to see what happens when I push myself creatively

[blurglesmurfklaine]

work and life has been crazy but for anyone following stick season I plan on updating on Friday and finish the fic off by Sunday! 💞

[lansangprincess]

What I Want to See in HBH S3!⋆·˚ ༘ *

note that this is a list not to be mistaken as things i expect to see in s3

the introduction of a new trans character !

the introduction of a new character who will have a cutesy and fun lovey storyline for quinni <33

harthony uno reverse card—harper starts to realize she has feelings for ant but is scared to confess bc she's still dealing w her trauma and doesnt want to lose him

ant main storyline !! we find out a lot more about his home life (this is for the bitches w religious trauma, it's me im bitches) and find out what his ethnic background is bc i realized that ive been assuming he's wasian this whole time but it's never actually been said

i miss a parent-child storyline actually (like darren and their dad had in s1). i think quinni would be great for this

chook in jail jfc

sasha home life—could be redemption, could be not. im chill either way, i kinda enjoy getting annoyed at her (just no more ableism pls). if she does get redemption tho could she pls tap into more of her succulent chinese meal, dinussy side like she is so hilarious when she's not being a performative activist lmao

less spider screentime im sorry like hurrayy he's been redeemed but i want to highlight the other characters now

missy&darren storyline. i dont even know what kind of storyline but i just feel like theyd be so entertaining together constantly roasting people

verbally canonizing that ant and harper are queer/pan (established) and spider's demi (new revelation)

ca$h/darren & missy/spider double date could be fun and random. maybe they bump into each other at a carnival or smthn and compete against each other at ring toss idk

another classic hbh mystery to be solved BUT THIS TIME, amerie isn't a main character of it

✧˚ ·the entire main group doing karaoke✧˚ ·

A few more thoughts...

i miss malakai already but i think it would be too narratively convenient for him to come back at the start of the season so i dont want to have any expectations for his (and the amerie/malakai) storyline. imma let the writers take me wherever they want me to go

what i dont want to see is a new love interest for my amerie like i feel bad for the new plot device dressed as a white blond boy that will be tossed away once the amerkai endgame is done cooking

no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst no more darren&quinni angst 😭

what i want to hear in a new season of hbh is some chappell roan like imagine HOT TO GO! playing in hbh it would be amazing

[lightlycareless]

Ok but like… virgin!naoya 👀👀👀👀👀 thoughts?

😏 hello. what an interesting topic...

I initially wanted to write something short, like hc's or such, but you know me I just gotta go the whole way hahahah. Anyways, this is very... idk how to say it, I feel kinda bad for Naoya, but I had to exagerate some things because honestly I do not feel a man like him would be a virgin for too long, you know?

anyways, here are the warnings: smut. naoya being weird, a dork tbh (but a perverted one too) and something tells me this is lowkey bottom!naoya too... anyways; MINORS DNI. happy reading!!

Virgin!naoya where all of his thoughts are, of course, having his first time.

He wholeheartedly believes the reason why he hasn't been able to do it is because everyone around him doesn't have good taste. Like, they can't see all that he offers, what a great deal he is:

He has money, prestige, a good education (he’s attending one of the best colleges in the country!) and literally no worry in the world ‘cause the rest of his life is set thanks to his family.

But at the same time, he doesn’t want people to just want him for that.

Unbelievably, he desires someone that will make him feel like the amazing, accomplished, talented, one of a kind, never seen before, man he considers himself to be, even if he didn’t have anything under his name.

If he just wanted sex, he could pay someone for that!

And yet, he still waits for the right one.

Naturally, Naoya isn’t any proud of the fact that he hasn’t been able to get it on with anyone, so he goes to the extent of making things up to compensate for that.

Whenever people around him start talking about their flings, one-night stands amongst other things, Naoya always has something to say:

“Experiences” of course, that he made up from watching porn. And apparently no one has been able to catch him in the lie, either because he turned very aggressive when confronted, or because they didn’t care tbh.

Until someone dared confront him.

“But you didn’t go out that night.”

“I saw you somewhere else though.”

“I thought you said you stayed home all day that time…?”

To say a few.

And when the pieces began to fall into place, alongside the fact how “nervous” he got when asked to elaborate, the earth-shattering truth comes out:

“Wait—Naoya, don’t tell me you… you’re a virgin?”

It’s safe to say that Naoya hides himself from the goddamn world for the following days, right after making the curious asker regret their existence.

But now that the truth was out there, he was on a mission to prove everyone wrong; he was going to lose his virginity, no matter what it took, and stop being the laughingstock of his friends.

He’d start by going date, after date, after date with any girl he thought attractive in hopes of finally getting laid.

But somehow, it just never went through; not even the most desperate woman would accept him, because of course, he just had to open his mouth and that’d be enough for everyone to run away.

Naoya is now, for all intents and purposes, desperate. Wasn’t sex supposed to be the easiest thing to find in the world??

Like, even his dad got laid! He exists for a reason! Why can’t he have the same luck??? He’s even better looking than him!! So why is it so goddamn hard???

…

Naoya really, really doesn’t want to pay someone to do it; doesn’t want to hurt his pride, make everyone believe that he wasn’t able to get it out of his pure charm…

But his delusions don’t get bad until he meets the new girl at school; a transfer student from Tokyo that wanted to know what Kyoto was all about.

Naoya usually didn’t care about these situations, unless he could get use them to his advantage.

But that quickly changes when he sees her—you.

Not that he had any choice, because you had an alluring aura that attracted everyone to you, whether because of your status as a new student, or your surprisingly fun personality.

He got to experience this last part after discovering you had a class with him, eventually assigned to do a group project for the end of the semester.

It all started by meeting at the library after school to work on it, before exchanging numbers, social media, and eventually, hanging out outside of campus to talk not only about the project, but other things as well.

Naoya tries his hardest to not socialize beyond necessary means, share nothing that pertains to personal matters.

But he couldn’t, because the more he spends time with you, the more he learns how much in common the two have. Things he didn’t think a girl like you would like, enjoy talking about, or even wanted to know more of.

It also helped that he found you very attractive. Perhaps the prettiest woman he’s seen in his life—but he sure liked being admired by you more.

However, let’s not forget this is a man that has been “deprived” of sex, so it doesn’t take long for him before he starts fantasizing about you: starting by notion of how your skin would feel against him—it’s warm, it’s scent.

To how you’d look underneath your clothes, how you’d squirm beneath him, begging him to take you and mark you as solely his with those desperate moans he can already hear through your lovely voice.

By that point, Naoya is already getting off at the thought of you about… daily, really. Getting hard the moment he sees you do anything remotely provocative, although unintentionally, or just because you’re there.

Porn is now with actresses that resemble you, immediately getting angry when he doesn’t find any that suits his preference, resorting to stalking your social media afterwards.

He’s highly grateful that you’ve trusted him to add you online, thinks you foolish for having done so. However, it came with a price:

Whenever he sees a glimpse, the faintest hint of another man alongside you, (or worse, in a relationship) makes him highly jealous, to the point of wanting to directly confront you and demand who was that?! And how dare you talk to him while seeing someone else!

Only to stop when (what little) his common sense tells him that if he does so, he might lose you permanently; and he doesn’t want to do that with the only person that has made him feel this way.

Besides, you once (seemingly unprovokedly) told him you were single. So there's that.

Yet, as much as he was obsessed with you, finished to the thought of you, hallucinates of you—he doesn’t go beyond that. Doesn’t do anything to make his dreams a reality.

Or more like you win him to it, one day asking him if “he’d like to get something to eat with you one day” and not precisely to work on that tedious group project, but as a…

“What—like… a date?” he asks bluntly, you look away for a brief second, flustered, before nodding.

So, he accepts, even when he thought he should’ve been the first one to ask but whatever, this is something he can still use to his advantage, precisely for his little setback.

The two end up going to a nearby mall, walking around to see the stores before getting something to eat and watching a movie.

Nothing happens there, as much as he would’ve liked to; however, you do lean into him, rest your head over your shoulder before grabbing his hand and remaining that way until the movie ended.

“I had fun, Naoya.” You’d say as he dropped you off at home. “I hope we can go out again.”

Let’s say Naoya didn’t sleep that night at all.

The two would continue to hang out, both inside and outside the campus, to the point everyone believed Naoya and you were now dating.

Neither denied nor confirmed the rumors for the question had yet to be asked, but even when Naoya had to admit that this was the most time he had invested to getting into a girl’s pants—he'd almost forgotten why he started all this in the first place.

Naoya was genuinely enjoying spending time with you, mostly because you didn’t run away when he began to grow more comfortable with you—although you would tell him to not say certain things (and he’d try, keyword: try)—and as stated before, you were... different.

But he still wanted it, of course. So it shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise that after a few dates, long nights calling and texting one another, as well as insinuating wanting more, it finally happens.

The two agree to spend the night at Naoya’s apartment after spending the whole day together. How he managed to take you there in the first place, after being unable to keep hands off one another, is to be commended.

Naoya hastily takes you to his bedroom as soon as both walk through the door, where you’d get undressed before moving to the bed.

It’s apparent to you that he wants to get to the main course as soon as possible, yet there’s still hesitation behind his actions, starting from the bruteness behind his kisses, to the tremble in his fingers; almost as if he didn’t know what to do or how to touch you.

But your desire didn’t allow you to worry much about those trivial things, moving forward to the moment Naoya had been daydreaming of.

“Put the condom on, Naoya…” you whined as you laid back on the bed. Naoya, now on top of you, scoffs.

“Why? You’re the only one I’m seeing.” There’s the slightest tremble in his voice, but he means his words either way.

Besides, it’s his first time, he doesn’t want some stupid rubber getting in the way.

“Because I don’t want to get pregnant—we’re not even dating yet!” You jest with a giggle; and the thought of you begetting his child after your first night with him only makes him feel hotter. He wouldn’t mind marrying you, but one step at a time. “Just pull out, ok?”

Naoya was already near his limit when you said those words, but he’s pushed past the edge when hearing the sharp gasp you make upon seeing his cock.

He always knew he packed something good, but he was never sure until hearing your reaction, which certainly urged him to become more arrogant (incredibly) and eager.

And after some quick preparations, as well as mental encouragement from his side, it was finally time for the main event.

He’d had his fair share of reimaginations of what his first time would be like, the kind of pussy he’d like to see, and the beautiful girl he’d get as well.

But none of them compared to the real thing: it’s safe to say that you surpassed all expectations, and he couldn’t wait to have a taste of the pleasure he had been unfairly deprived fro—

“It’s a bit lower, Naoya.” You gently murmur, swiftly cutting through his thoughts, upon feeling his cock prod at… well, anywhere but your entrance.

“…Right.” He frowns, slightly embarrassed before swallowing, refocusing on the prize at hand, adjusting the tip a bit lower and onto your entrance.

He feels the warmth radiating of it as he coats on your glistening sick, before pushing past your tight rim in one swift, yet agonizingly pleasurable, movement.

Naoya never liked exaggeration; thought it to be immature, if not incredulous, but he can’t resort to anything else when describing the sensations he’s immediately engulfed with when entering your cunt.

The tightness, the warmth, it’s gumminess—it was all of his fantasies + more merging into his reality. Ones that just grew hotter and hotter the deeper he moved, making his plans of plummeting into you falter, lowly whimpering as he acknowledged what is happening.

He’s finally having sex—losing his virginity.

And it was so, so much better than he imagined.

It’s like getting high; with the world around him starting to spin as he could only think about staying inside you, relishing on the pleasure he should’ve gotten ages ago, but now it’s here and he—he…!

Naoya wants to move, wants to experience more of the vice grip of your walls on his cock, the softness of your breasts, or the warmth of your kisses.

All while making you scream, call out the name of the one making you feel this way!

But he can’t.

He just... can’t move; he doesn’t—he doesn’t know how to.

As much as he wants to, longed to do so, he’s forced instead to remain there while your body completely overtakes his senses: eyes blurry, jaw tightly clenched, alongside his desperate whines are just a few examples of this.

“Naoya, please…” you beg, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and moving him closer to you, enough to whisper against his ear, as your walls squeeze his cock, as to accentuating your neediness. “Fuck me”

He really, really wished you hadn’t done that.

“Y/N!” He gasps, finally moving his hips back before snapping them against you, mentally preparing for the long night ahead—

Only that he doesn’t move again as soon as he hits your cervix; instead, he keeps still yet again, deep inside you, while letting out a light groan before resting his head against the crook of your neck.

It doesn’t compute at first for you, believing something wrong had occurred, maybe he didn’t want to spend the night with you anymore—

Until a warm, sticky sensation begins to invade your walls; it’s then that everything falls into place, making your eyes snap to him, more than ready to scold him for going against your request—

Only to see that this hadn’t been voluntary; his tightly shut eyes and flustered face proving you other wise as he continued to indulge in this happening, a sensation he undeniably wishes to persevere…

Unless you were to pull him back to reality.

“Naoya—did you… did you just cum?”

“Wha—what?” he breathes, still capable of acknowledging you through the drowning sensation of his orgasm.

“Did you just cum?” you repeat. “Inside me—Naoya, did you—"

“What? No—I—” he says, wishing to refute your incredulous claim, excuse it had been nothing but your imagination, because he couldn’t be one of those!

But one quick look at your entrance was enough to prove him wrong, pulling his cock out and allowing his seed to drip down your pussy and to the sheets; proving that truly, he had finished as soon as he entered you.

“I didn’t—"

And this made him highly embarrassed, if not disappointed.

“Then what happened? You just moved and then—"

“Get out.” He inadvertently says, you blink.

“Excuse me?”

“I said—get out.”

"Naoya, I didn't—I don't think that's— let's talk fir—"

“Leave before I fucking drag out you myself!”

He doesn’t want to deal with this situation anymore, doesn’t want to feel further humiliated by his blatantly obvious inexperience, nor hear anything from you that might highlight this fact—that much is clear by his tone, which swiftly prompts you pick up your things, dress up, and leave him, alongside the notion that his life will be ruined from this point forward.

Because more than shame of the present, he fears the future:

He knows you’re going to tell others of his mishap, spread his disgrace as your life depended on it, further tarnishing his already soiled image for the rest of his life.

All that Naoya could think of from that moment forward was the lengths he’ll have to go to avoid facing the consequences of his ruined reputation: he’ll have to switch cities, change his number, perhaps even his name!

And not only that, but he’ll also have to live in isolation to avoid the jests that will undoubtedly come from his family once they hear of his mistake.

The rest he could tolerate; but this... this he cannot.

But when he returns to campus, expecting to be bombarded by his group of “friends” mocking him for acting like a horny teenager, alongside some other lies you created to further humiliate him…

Nothing seems to have changed.

In fact, everyone continued to act as they always did; his friends greeting him, the rest avoiding him… essentially allowing him to continue his daily routine like it was any other day.

Including meeting you in class.

Naoya does his best to avoid you, having arrived to the conclusion that you’re instead holding his misadventure as blackmail to use when it better suits your needs.

But he can’t, not when you insist on talking to him through class, almost enough to be reprimanded by the teacher.

“What do you want?!” he scowls as soon as the two are alone, in a far away classroom rarely anyone uses.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” You admit. “Why hadn’t you responded my—"

“For what? To make fun of me again??”

“What? No! I wasn’t—I didn’t make fun of you. Why would you even suggest—"

“Then what is it, Y/N? What other reason would you have for this, then?” you don’t respond, this makes him angrier. “Why haven’t you told anyone of what happened that night, hm? Waiting for the perfect moment?”

“What are you even saying?” you ask back, genuinely confused by his accusations. “I get it, it was… surprising, not exactly what anyone would want, but I’d never do that!”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Naoya goaded. “Certainly, you must know my reputation by now, all you could get by spreading something like that!”

“…Because that’s—that’s not what I want to do with someone I like!” You cry.

“What?” he asks, perplexed. Not an answer that aligned to his predispositions. “What do you mean you—you like me?”

He had some notion of that, blatantly obvious by the way you'd following him around like a lost puppy, or the whispers coming from those around you.

In other words, his shock came from the fact that he never believed it was genuine; maybe because deep inside him, he thought everyone always wanted something from him. Seemed to be like that, even up to this point, thinking one of his friends had maybe set you up for this, him willingly naive...

Yet, the evidence was outstandingly contrary.

“Why would I ask you out if I didn’t?” you insist; he shrugs. “…Is this common for you, Naoya? To have people talk behind your back and such?”

“A bit.”

“You need better friends.” You attempt to jest. He sighs.

“… So what? What do you want to talk about?” Naoya begins anew. You press your lips together.

“… I just wanted to tell you that I didn't care that... that happened. And that I didn't mean to do things to make you feel embarrassed, of course.” You explain. “Although I have to admit that it did startle me, thought you had done it in purpose… but then, I saw it was something else, and...”

“I’m assuming you already now that was my first—"

“It was my first time too.” You admit, he blinks, not believing your words. “At least… getting to that part.”

“You? Your first time?”

“I don’t know how to take that.” You frown.

“I was referring to what others think of you. You must’ve heard that by now." he says.

“Yeah; I have.” you admit. "But I'm not interested in that."

“Then why me? Why are even you doing all of this, even after that?”

“Because you don’t treat me like they do; to you, I’m just another student coming for class, not some shiny new toy some can’t wait to get their hands on..." you murmur, before chuckling. "And because you’re the most handsome one here!"

"Really?" he raises an eyebrow, doing his best to avoid his fluster from showing on his face.

You chuckle, Naoya smirks.

“… I thought it was cute.”

“What was?”

“…you know, that.” You silently admit, Naoya finally blushes. “I mean, I didn’t like you finishing inside me, but I... I never had anyone like me that much, you know? If anything... I’m surprised you haven’t done this with anyone else.”

“It’s simply my reality.” he says; some things are just incapable of being explained.

“Well then, I’m flattered I was the first one.” You grin. “I’ll take full responsibility.”

“I’m the one supposed to say that.” He frowns, you giggle. “… so… what does this mean?”

“…That we can try it again, everything I mean. I still like you, after all...” you chuckle nervously, before looking away. “But only if you still want to, of course, I don't want to sound like I'm—”

“Dinner; tonight, in my apartment.” He says immediately. “After 7, once I’m done working out, I'll go pick you up.”

“I’d like that.” You smile, taking a step closer. “But first we have to finish our group assignment! Also, don’t kick me out again! Or I won’t take it nicely this time…”

“Then my girlfriend shouldn’t tease me.” Naoya smirks, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him, hands resting on your waist. You pout, flustered.

“Don’t make it too easy.” You respond, tiptoeing to kiss him. “…my dear boyfriend.”

it's like all universes will have me writing naoya and y/n ending up together; you'll have to specify otherwise if you don't want to i'm sorry that's just how it is here.

also I recently saw american psycho and idk why (I guess it makes sense) but the whole dynamic of patrick bateman and his colleagues makes me think of Naoya; like they'll always be competition, seeing who is better in what—but even then, no one really likes Naoya HAHAHAH

anyways, i had fun humiliating Naoya a bit :) y/n really committed to the unconditional love thing here—but now that I'm done with this, I can certainly say this is more of a bottom!naoya kind of thing. It truly feels like it, doesn't it? hehe.

Hope you enjoyed it either way!! Thank you for sending in this ask ❤️ Take care and hope to see you soon!!!

[yuri-is-online]

Hello Yuri!! Congrats on 500 followers!! You deserve it, your writing is amazing and makes me so happy whenever you post something new! (・∀・)

If it’s alright, could I request Ace Trappola, Ruggie Bucchi and Cater Diamond with prompt four if that’s okay? About the reader meeting someone at the ball and ranting to the boys about them.

Thank you so much in advance, and congratulations again!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

4. You met someone really wonderful at the Masquerade Ball and have been ranting about how he was totally the love of your life to your abnormally quiet friend. Actually, wasn't he invited too? Maybe you should ask him how that went.

Hello Rhea! It's always a pleasure to see you in my notifications, though you did give me a bit of whiplash with how fast this request came in (;ﾞ°´ω°´) It makes me very happy to hear I have managed to make you happy, I hope you like this post too. Also thank you very much for the kind words, they made me feel much better.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, I know the prompt says "quiet" but these three are sort of the chatty type so it's more like dodging the question (sorry), the other event requests can be found on my masterlist here. There's a movie reference hidden here (kind of) that if someone gets I'll probably scream idk.

Ace

There is a god in some sort of heaven and he hates Ace Trappola. Well maybe not a god, maybe it's just Riddle, and he certainly doesn't hate him, Ace is just being dramatic. But there has to be some sort of rule Riddle is breaking here, seriously what beacon of morals and etiquette sits pretending to sip tea while obviously eve's dropping on what should be a terribly private conversation. It's a nightmare made substantially worse by just how long he has been wanting to have this talk.

"Honestly I wasn't expecting to have so much fun, I thought Crowley was just going to put on a cheap tacky formal, not an actual ball with proper costumes." You feel light headed with joy for a change, technically half of the things you've experienced in this world you never would have in yours but a real, fancy Masquerade somehow felt more surreal than the overblots or flying brooms. Maybe it was because you had seen pictures of real ball costumes and masks that made it feel more tangible, like this was something you really were meant to be a part of.

"The costuming was indeed very impressive." Riddle swirls his cup just gently enough to avoid spilling his precious tea whilst making sure to pour Ace's all over the Heartslabyul lounge. "I was surprised at how impossible it was to tell who was who."

"I know! That's the whole problem." You practically jump up from the couch, before remembering yourself and settling down again. Ace notices you still move subconsciously closer to him, even if your silly head doesn't know just who he is. Or would it be was?

"Is it really?" Ace really wishes you weren't so used to ignoring his whining. "The entire point of a Masquerade is to be anonymous, isn't that why you and Deuce thought it was 'romantic.'" He had wanted to have this talk in Ramshackle where it was guaranteed to be private- scratch that he wanted to have it last night while he was trying to imagine what your eyes looked like under your mask. What they would look like if he moved his aside and just said what he was trying to for once instead of flirting more with the subtext than you.

"Well yeah I guess." You mumble. Your chest has been tied up in funny knots and Ace's unenthusiastic tone isn't helping with the pain. "But it's driving me insane to think I could have met my soul mate and all I know about him is that he makes a really attractive clown." Riddle chokes, tea cup clanking onto it's saucer as he politely tries to pass off his laugh as a cough. "Well not just that..." you mumble, closing your eyes to conjure up the memory of the jester who had produced a rose from behind your ear and insisted on leaving it there for luck.

"What sort of luck?" He held onto the rose just a second too long for your poor heart to bear, you swear he could feel it if he pressed his fingers that much closer to your pulse point.

"Well mine of course, how else am I supposed to find you when this is over." It's odd not to see the man's lips, your heart tells you it suspects he's smiling but it won't confirm it.

"That's not luck!" You laugh. "That's cheating!" He shrugs, as if to say he knows, that's the whole point. As if to say it's worth it to break the rules where you're concerned. It's daring, the way he holds you as you dance, the way your heart is screaming for you to just-

"I should have kissed him." You groan, remembering how Grim had charged in between you and your date screaming about how he'd never approve or something dumb like that. Just who did he think he was anyway?

"Well then why don't you!" Ace cringes as he says it, neck beet red as you go to sass him back before the oddly serious nature of his tone and the implication of his syntax force you to stop. Riddle's exit barely registers as you stare each other down, Ace from the corner of his eye and you with the full force you can gather.

"Would you have let me?" You whisper. A familiar touch lights just behind your ear, pressing in this time to trace the speed of your heartbeat.

"Only one way to find out, prefect." You expect him to run. Make some sort of joke about how he was pranking you, or say kissing before marriage being against the rules. But he doesn't. He waits, perhaps in the way he has been since the first night he showed up at Ramshackle, collared and crabby, just waiting for you to close the gap.

And embrace you as you fall.

Ruggie

Ramshackle was closer to the main castle than Savanaclaw. That was the excuse Ruggie had used to get you to agree to let him crash there, in his mind anyway. Really, all he had needed to do was ask, but you know that's not exactly how he works. Your relationship has always been a series of scratches, offers of give and take that tend to be minor but offer just enough of a technicality for true feelings to remain hidden just out of sight. That doesn't change how surreal it is to see him here so late, or the sharp contrast between all the stiff collars and plaster faces you both had been drowning in just a moment ago and the worn gym clothes you both wear for pajamas.

"Man I'm beat." Ruggie says, sinking into the couch. You aren't in much better shape, if he wasn't taking up a part of it you would be sprawled face down across the length the couch. Instead, you satisfy yourself with curling up into the far corner. You have a dreamy smile on your face, content like how he usually looks when he eats a large meal, or when he thinks you aren't looking.

"I think I found your soul mate hanging around the buffet tables tonight." You lazily tease, tracing nonsensical shapes on the floor to amuse the nervous energy from your earlier encounter.

"Oh yeah?" Ruggie sounds vaguely intrigued, but he doesn't move much. If anything he settles his neck more firmly into the sofa back, eyes intentionally trained on the ceiling. "What makes you say that?"

"He was stealing all the apple fritters." You say, dreamy smile widening when Ruggie snorts. "Too bad I intend on stealing him from you."

"Do you now." He murmurs, head tilting back down into his palm. He rests his elbow on his knee, but he doesn't look at you, not immediately. Your well into your little rant before he does.

"Well at first I was just going to steal the food-" that was the whole reason he had wanted to stay here, the two of you had hatched a plan weeks ago to smuggle in some containers and smuggle out as much food from the banquet hall as possible and it just made more sense to take it to Ramshackle "but he offered to give it to me so long as I danced with him." There is a container of said fritters in between you both, sticky with caramelized sugar and a good reminder of just how expensive the Masquerade Ball must have been to throw. It's odd to have food last so long in Ramshackle, odder still with Ruggie so close.

"Nice try." You said. "But you won't trick me like that. My friend trained me well and I need to bring those back to him."

"Are you sure about that?" The man's voice is muffled by his mask, white plaster forming three faces obscuring any meaningful detail of his real looks. He's radiant, something about the way he's managing to thread the needle through the crowd despite his exaggerated mask is holding all your attention despite Ruggie's warnings. You're supposed to be competing to see who would bring the most food home, but instead you're dancing in the arms of someone else, laughing as he kisses your hand when he dips you in tune with the song. "Your friend is missing out, I have the best tasting thing in the ballroom right here."

"I'm sorry I was so distracted I only managed to snag a couple things. Did you get anything good?" You roll out of the corner closer to the center, just out of his reach but oh so obtainable.

"Nope~" he says, letting the word pop and looking away with more shame than you have seen on his face... ever now that you think about it. "I uhh. I may have... also.. gotten distracted." Both of you look at the single container of apple fritters, suddenly very much aware that neither of you actually brought anything else back to your dorm.

"Laugh with me." You try to protest but Ruggie has both your fingers up to your lips, his trademark smirk looks good on you, he wishes he could take a picture. "Embarrassed prefect? You shouldn't be so worried, I told you how I felt didn't I?"

"But you don't know how I taste!" You manage to wail and he finally cracks, shaking with laughter and letting you curl your blanket around you in a ball of embarrement. You stay like that for a good long while, trying to beat down the smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth until Ruggie reaches over to unwrap you casing and pull your head into his lap.

"Well then, maybe you should let me test you." He's wrong you think as your lips meet, Ruggie has got to taste much sweeter.

Cater

"Well someone looks like they had fun last night~" Cater says and you giggle in response. He allows himself to pause before he continues, Cater really hates the sound of his own voice. How anyone can stand him is beyond him, and he knows the conversation he's about to have has a pretty good chance- no.

It's going to destroy the carefully built illusion he's woven around your "friendship" even if you react positively. Losing you would be painful, but keeping you in the dark would be even worse. He has to play this smart, play you correctly so he can try and keep your eyes with him even if they only look at the superficial face he wears.

Yes, Cater has to play you carefully, but he is off to a bad start. You know before he sits down that something is wrong, it's written all over his face sewn into his unwashed hair and dark circles under his eyes.

"I want to say 'you too' but honestly you look exhausted Cater, you sure you want to be awake right now?" You don't want to press him in case that makes him run, but you also know Cater a bit better than he wants to acknowledge. You don't really think the bit of yourself you have to share will help soothe him, but he goes along with his script anyway.

"Seriously, you worry too much!" He can't say about me because he wants your worries, and he knows that denial would crack his mask. "Besides I've just been dying to hear about the dance, you seemed really excited to go!" There's a sparkle in your eyes, a flush to your cheeks that he desperately wishes he had put there.

"It went well." That’s all you can bring yourself to say as your hands go to fiddle absent mindedly with the sleeves of your blazer.

"That's good?" He tries to poke at the topic but you don't go further. "Or was is it not good and you just don't want to think about it?"

"No! No it's just. I met someone. Or I think I did anyway." Cater blinks. Once. Twice. Three times just for luck because he knows, or at least he thinks he knows, that he was the only one with you all night. What you're saying just can't be right, there's no way you didn't know it was him all night. "He was just so easy to talk to! I completely lost track of time and didn't meet up with anyone else..." Your little embarrassed smile confirms it, you didn't know. He laughs.

"Sorry," he doesn't mean that "you're just too cute Yuu." He pulls his phone from his pocket as you desperately stutter.

"Look I'm really sorry I know I said I'd look for you, Riddle, and Trey but I was just... I don't know, moonstruck?" He laughs more, practically chokes as he quickly types an apology to Trey and savors your embarrassment just a moment longer.

"Don't you mean starstruck?" He teases and you suddenly find a bit of your fight back and fiercely shake your head.

"No way! That's for famous people. Moonstruck is for when you're overcome with ridiculous love for someone even if you don't know them." You pout and Cater looks at his phone, not to do anything really just to center himself and his thoughts. He has a choice to make, and he doesn't know where either path will go.

"Are you alright?" Cater should have known you would find him, there should be something scary with how unconsciously in tune with him you are. He doesn't say anything, but that doesn't seem to discourage you. You settle yourself next to him, sitting quietly keeping him company until he's ready to speak.

"It's all just a bit too much." He gestures vaguely at the room, uncertain why he's decided to speak about this now and not run from it. "Everyone's here wearing masks and hiding themselves like it's a fun thing to do."

"It can be." You say calmly. "But always dressing like this would be a lot." You look over the crowd with the stranger, the conversation lulls, and you try to examine the man's costume for a hint of what might be best to say. "You know," your voice is uncertain, but the words that come to you aren't ones you don't believe in, "everyone wears a mask sometimes, especially when they're afraid or lonely." The man says nothing, but something about the way he sits suggests you still have his attention. "You're not obligated to remove those masks for anyone, it has to be done when you are ready to accept the consequences of how other people will see you."

Cater isn't ready. He somehow doubts he ever will be. He wishes there was a way to confess this with a guarantee that the consequences won't burn him.

"You weren't the only one moonstruck." You look hopeful almost, exactly like you did when you'd pulled him from his corner to dance. Exactly the same as when you had when he had teasingly pulled your mask aside to kiss you, the same cute look he would never be sorry to see on your face. "Say are you busy prefect? I think there's something I need to tell you."

[gemini-sensei]

hi! i asked for that last shy!eli/preg reader fic and omg 🫶🏽 literally incredible. best thing i could've woken up to 😭 would love to read your thoughts on if eli never becomes hawk in this scenario! awe like maybe he starts off at miyagi do? ive always thought that eli would do well working with mr. lausso. idk. but your brain? incredible. thank u 🫶🏽

omg or if this happened with shy diaz!reader? or shy larusso!reader? ugh this fandom has the biggest hold on me, sorry if this is a lot lol

I should probably sign these off?? so i'll go by -anon 🌼

The way I almost did the last post with LaRusso!Reader 🤭🤭🤭 also, hi 🌼, this fandom also has a hold on me. Also also, don't apologize for your asks because I love asks that are a lot!

When it comes to shy LaRusso!Reader and shy!Eli, they still definitely start off their relationship at the Halloween dance. Her dad is there being pulled between watching over his two daughters and is being kind of embarrassing, but Reader is still having a fun time with Eli and his friends. She's dressed up super cute and Eli can't take his eyes off of her. If they try to dance together, her dad comes through and makes some space between them before he runs off because Sam is running off with her jerk of a boyfriend. Reader is so embarrassed but Eli doesn't care about her dad kind of interrupting them because does her dad really think that he'll do anything? He's more embarrassed by himself because he doesn't think that he'll ever be so lucky as to even ever kiss Reader.

But they do end up sharing a kiss before the end of the night. She pecks him on the lips before the end of the dance and tells him how she's like to hang out with him again sometime, maybe just to two of them... like on a date. She giggles at the way his eyes widen and he nods immediately, he's so cute. Then her dad is calling for her that it's time to go and she runs off.

Her dad would grill her about the boy she was with all night and she would gush about how sweet Eli is and her dad agrees that he doesn't seem as bad as that Kyler kid Sam is seeing. And watching his daughter light up because of her crush is sweet so he doesn't say anything bad about Eli, he doesn't really know anything about him.

After that night, Reader and Eli go on a few dates and have really nice times together. When her family isn't home, she secretly invites him over and they plan on just hanging out like normal, but things take a turn. Kissing leads to making out, and making out leads to exploring each other's bodies and that leads to taking each others clothes off which leads them to her bed and you know what happens. They're so gentle with each other, kissing almost the whole time because words aren't enough to express their feelings to each other. He will ask if she's okay, if she needs anything, just taking such great care of her while they share their first times together.

When it's over, he has to leave before her family comes home. She kisses him goodbye and he's over the moon because did that really just happen? She has him starstruck and in awe. He's almost dazed and confused except he's just playing the events over in his head because he can't believe he lost his virginity; let alone to the most amazing person he's ever met.

They continue to hang out and have a nice time as boyfriend and girlfriend until one day she doesn't show up to school. She's feeling under the weather, so her parents let her stay home. She's sick for a few days actually and doesn't go to school. The whole time, she and Eli are texting each other; he's checking in and making sure she's okay. He's a bit of a worrywart and just wants to see her, but understands she needs time to rest and feel better. Except this doesn't just go away...

After this "sickness" passes, Amanda begins to notice that Reader seems a little different. Her daughter's always been a little heavy and curvy, but there's been a drastic change recently. Her bras don't appear to fit the same anymore, so she decides to take Reader out on a mother/daughter day. At lunch, Reader doesn't order her usual because the thought of it makes her nauseous and this little difference only makes her mom more suspicious. So, while eating lunch, Amanda asks, "Honey, are you and Eli having sex?"

Reader gets all hot and flustered, wondering how her mom found out. "Wh-why would you ask that?"

"Well, you've been feeling sick these last few days... you spent three days throwing up and, well, to be frank, your boobs are a lot bigger," she says.

Reader sits there for a moment, putting the pieces together. She remembers how she and Eli didn't have a condom when they did it and she figures it out. She starts tearing up. "Oh my god, am I pregnant?"

Her mom sighs, staying calm. "You could be. We can go home. I have some tests in the bathroom."

"But what about Dad?"

"He's at the dealership today. It'll just be you and me there."

With that assurance, they take their lunch to go and return home. Amanda tells Reader that no matter what, she isn't upset. Reader knows her dad is gonna freak out though if he ever finds out she even had to take a pregnancy test. She knows that when it comes back positive, he's gonna kill Eli.

She cries, "We only had sex once!"

Amanda hugs her and shushes her gently. "One time is all it takes, honey. But it's okay. We can figure this out. I'm here for you."

When they tell Daniel, he freaks out. "How could this have happened?" "My sweet little girl" and that freaking out quickly turns into anger towards the boy. "I knew he was bad news" and "I should kill him." Amanda has to calm him down because those kind of things aren't helping Reader.

She's begging her dad, pleading for him not to go after Eli. She's just in tears telling her dad how great Eli is. "He's so good. He's sweet and kind and so so good."

After everyone calms down, Reader really wants to tell Eli. She can't not tell him, so Amanda drives her over to Eli's house and she knocks on the door. Eli's mom answers the door and lets them in. Reader goes up to Eli's room while Amanda opts to break the news (with her daughter's permission) to Mrs. Moskowitz.

When she sees Eli, Reader hugs him immediately and they sit on his bed. It's quiet for a moment before Eli tells her that he's happy to see her because it's been days since they saw each other. He's happy she's well and not sick anymore and she accidentally cuts him off saying, "Well, that's not really true..." It worries him and he asks her what's wrong, if she's okay, how she's doing.

So, she comes out with it. "I'm pregnant."

He's stunned into silence. They're both quiet for a moment before he just hugs her, seeking comfort and giving her comfort because they're both scared. They don't say anything for a while until their moms come up and ask them if they're okay and Eli just kind of shrugs, but doesn't let go of Reader. They're very much attached to each other at that point and it will take a lot to separate them at this moment in time.

They do eventually figure out what they're going to do. They want to keep the baby and realize how much they care about each other. It's a lot, they know that, but they want to do this. Their families stand behind them and support them in their decision to keep and raise the baby.

After the anger dissipates, Daniel even offers Eli a chance to come work with him to give him some workplace experience since he will need it sooner rather than later. This is how he learns Miyagi-Do over Cobra Kai. It isn't Daniel's intention to teach him karate at first but as he sees how anxious and shy Eli is around people on a normal day, he thinks teaching him Miyagi-Do could benefit him and make him stronger and more confident.

It also leads to some cute moments between him and Reader. When she feels overwhelmed and uncertain, she meditates or does kata to center herself and let her mind relax so she can think. Eli ends up joining her in these exercises and learning that he doesn't have to overthink everything and it's also a way that helps him calm down. Imagine they do kata together when she has her baby bump, and he stands by her to make sure she stays balanced. It is so cute.

Does this mean Eli and Robby are friends? Because Robby would still come to work with Daniel to get under his dad's skin and we all know how that goes? So Daniel has two Miyagi-Do students in the beginning; one is having a baby with his daughter. I think Eli would benefit from having a friend like Robby and Robby would have someone there to tell him Miguel isn't there to steal his dad away 💀💀💀 they'd get along well since Eli isn't Hawk but he's gaining that confidence.

(If he's friends with Robby, does that compounded with the pregnancy cause unintentional distance between him and Miguel? Because Mr. LaRusso would certainly say something about Cobra Kai to him at some point...)

OMG imagine Reader encourages Eli to be in the All Valley Tournament because she (and her dad) think it would be great for building his confidence. He fights for Miyagi-Do and she's there with her whole family, holding her round belly, cheering him on. She's so giggly watching him compete because she thinks he looks so hot. Sam teases her and Reader lets her because it's distracting her from her break up with Miguel. They're being so sisterly there together, cheering for Eli and later Robby when he joins Miyagi-Do.

What if Eli won that first tournament? That would be pretty great for his confidence. He'd give the trophy to Reader because her encouragement is what got him there. He'd dedicate his win to her and their baby, though he wouldn't say that at the tournament because he knows she doesn't like that kind of attention on her.

Imagine summer: her, Eli, Sam, Robby and Demetri. He'd totally convince Demetri to join Miyagi-Do after the tournament and they'd get to train together. Him, Dem, Robby and Sam would become core Miyagi-Do students and it would be amazing. He'd encourage Demetri and Demetri would be so sarcastic and say something like "We all can't be All Valley champions."

However, I'm thinking of when they go to the country club with Reader's family. She's there in a bikini and cover-up because it was all that was comfortable for her to wear and Eli is beside her, telling her how amazing she looks. Eventually, she sheds the cover-up and sits by the poolside. If any of the uppity country club people have anything to say to her, Eli tells them to back off and mind their own business. He's super protective of her and the baby. He wraps his arm around her and puts a hand on her belly, assuring her that she's beautiful and those people have no idea what they're talking about because she's gonna be an amazing mama.

Double dates where she and Sam treat their boyfriends to dinner or something. They all have such a fun time. Sam is also very protective of her sister and would try to start fights on her behalf and Robby would pull her away from whoever was making her upset. On that note, though, Robby would also be protective of Reader. That's his girlfriend's pregnant sister, of course he's going to care for her (he's also living with them, so of course they are close.)

And the quiet moments Eli and Reader get to spend together when she needs time away from people. She's still a little shy and meek, especially with the way people look at her or talk about her when they think she isn't around to hear it all because she's pregnant. Eli would be by her side when she needs to recharge her social batteries, telling her that no one else's opinion matters so long as she's not ashamed of their baby.

"I'm not ashamed," she tells him and he smiles.

"Then there's nothing to worry about"

He kisses her sweetly and puts a hand on her belly, feeling the way their little baby kicks at his palm. It's so sweet and perfect and he can't imagine his life being anymore perfect.

Imagine he still grew his hair out but instead of putting it into a mohawk, he just wears it casual and long 😍😍😍

I could so do more of this but this post got long. I feel like without Hawk there to contrast him, Miguel would fall further into the Cobra Kai hole and Johnny wouldn't be able to pull him out of it, and he and Tory become Cobra Kai's It couple👀 what do you think? Should I keep going with this and see how it continues to change things?

[moni-logues]

Kintsugi 4

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 8.1k

Content: none! there is no content lmaooo nah there is just none that needs to be warned for, I don't think, so enjoy freely!!!!!

A/N: I know, I know, it's taken an age but here we are!! And I'm honestly kind of nervous to see how people react!!!! huge thank you to my betas @blog-name-idk @amethystwritesbts and @here2bbtstrash

Chapter Three | Masterlist | Chapter Five

Chapter Four – Someone Old, Someone New 

The message came in shortly after lunch. 

Mei.97: hey girl! Long time no see!!! I’m going to be in Seoul this week, pleeeeaaasse tell me you’re free for dinner tomorrow?!!? It’s been too long!!! Xxx 

You had to read the message twice to be sure you were reading it right. You hadn’t heard from Mei—an old university friend—since your first ‘breakdown’. You wondered what on earth she could want. But you weren’t in any position to be turning down an outreached hand. 

You: sure! It would be great to see you! 

A few months ago, that would have been a huge lie. Now, it was only a little one. You weren’t looking forward to having to smooth over the details of your breakdown, or your break-up, but you had been close as students and it would be easier with her—she moved back to Busan after graduating, so you could put a little bit of the blame for your losing contact on that, too. You knew you weren’t quite there yet, but you felt like you were healing, you were making progress; you sometimes even felt, on occasion, pretty good about life. And you wanted to share that.  

The first thing you heard upon walking into the bar you had suggested was the loud screech of your name. Then Mei was running over. You had barely even noticed her before she was wrapping her long arms around you in a huge hug. Her hair was as long and silky as it had ever been; she was still wearing the same perfume she always used to wear, and too much of it, as she always had; she looked almost exactly the same, except a little richer, a little chicer, like someone who had truly settled into themselves. She outshone the whole restaurant and looked as if she didn’t notice, as she always used to. The real world didn’t seem to have dimmed any of her at all. You were pleased with yourself that this didn’t make you completely sick with envy. 

“Girl, oh my god, it is so good to see you! You look amazing! I can’t believe it; you’ve barely changed! Love the hair, though,” she announced to basically the whole bar. 

You’d forgotten that she was possibly the only person in the world who was louder and talked more than you did. You’d forgotten how much you liked her. You had no need to be nervous, you realised, because it would never occur to her to judge someone; she just wasn’t that sort of person because she wouldn’t even have the time for it. She was more than just a rolling stone: this rolling stone had an engine and jet fuel. 

“I ordered a bottle of wine because I wasn’t sure if you were still into the same drinks and I figured, wine is a safe option, right? You want some?” she asked but she was already pouring into your glass. “Tell me everything, babe. It has been so long. What is up?” 

You took a deep breath. Where to start? 

* 

You marvelled at how painless the night had been. It was fun. Somehow, despite all the discussion you’d had about your life since university, your life now, it wasn’t painful. Not really. Mei was single, too, and courting every man in Busan before her parents tightened the screws on her to settle down. She was enjoying working for the family business (if a corporation can be called merely a ‘business’). She was earning a salary that made you wince and made her promise dinner was on her. You were doing reasonably well in your career, too, actually. You were earning enough to live in Seoul on your own. Things weren’t perfect, but Mei was such a positive and enthusiastic steam-roller that she made you feel like you were thriving, not wilting. She was exactly what you needed.  

You were just wishing that she didn’t have to leave Seoul, that she could move and stay forever when she took her ice-cream spoon from her mouth and looked sheepishly at her empty bowl. 

“I have a confession to make,” she began. “I had a teeny ulterior motive for asking you to dinner.” 

Your stomach lurched. 

“Oh?” 

“You remember my cousin Sungbin? He came to visit that time at uni?” 

“The one we had to carry back to your room?” 

“You mean the one we had to find someone else to carry back to my room?” 

“Yes!” You laughed. “Yes, I remember! How could I forget?” 

He was a sweet, tall drink of water who accepted every shot and drink foisted on him by his cousin and her friends until he passed out in the bar. You and Mei had dragged him through the streets of Hongdae asking every passerby if they could help you get him home. You didn’t remember who actually helped or much of the rest of the night, but that arduous 100-meter drag was almost as painful as your hangover had been the following day. 

“What about him?” 

“Ok, so my uncle is retiring, right? He’s still going to be on the board but he’s retiring from his actual position so, of course, Sungbin, oldest son, he’s got to step up. He's moving to the big city, girl! Taking up a position at the HQ here. My ulterior motive is me asking you a huge favour.” 

“What’s the favour?” 

“He doesn’t know anyone here, right? Never lived here before. Would you maybe like, take him out for drinks or lunch or something – super casual, no big deal! – just so he’s got a friendly face? Give him some recommendations for stuff, I don’t know, just so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed and on his own?” 

You didn’t really know how to feel about it. Of course, you would. Of course, you would be happy to take Sungbin out, show him around, help him if he needed. You felt flattered that Mei would even ask you, that she thought you would be up to the job. That she thought of you at all, to be honest. Had you not just been thinking that you needed new friends? And now one was landing straight in your lap.  

It all felt a little too good to be true. It was too easy. Things had been too easy recently; this was just too much good, surely? You weren’t used to this. It felt wrong. Made you anxious. And, usually, that anxiety made you make things worse all on your own. But your therapist had told you to stop looking for the bad, to trust the good, appreciate its presence. You could do that. Right? You could do that. 

“Yeah, sure! Of course, I can take him out.” 

Mei dramatically fell to the table in relief and held tight to both your arms. 

“You are an angel! Thank you! Here’s the bad part, though: any chance you can do it tomorrow? I’m leaving in the morning and he’s going to be on his own for the first time since moving-” 

“Oh, he’s already here?” 

“Yeah! That’s why I’m here, girly! I helped him move! Any chance you’re free tomorrow?” 

You didn’t know how to say yes without letting her know that you were the sort of person who had no plans at the weekend but you didn’t want to say no because you were the sort of person who had no plans, and it would be nice to get out of the apartment. You did not look into the fact that she was asking you this last-minute, assuming you would have no plans already. You shrugged. 

“Yeah, I can do drinks or something tomorrow night?” 

“Babe, you are my favourite person in this whole world. I’m going to give you his number; just text him. He doesn’t know anyone here so he literally has nothing better to do and I’ve already told him I’d put you guys in touch.” 

From anyone else, that might have prickled a little; the assumptions might have rubbed you the wrong way, but Mei was relentlessly optimistic, having never had any real hardship in her life (she would admit to this, too), so she had never had any reason to believe that things wouldn’t go the way she expected. Far from wanting to burst her bubble, you wanted to protect her naivety. Because you wished you could have it, too.  

As you walked and subwayed and walked home, you thought about Mei and her life, and your life, and how different things could be. You wondered who you would be if you weren’t so broken, if your head could just have got its shit together—rather, if your head had never gone to shit in the first place. Would you have been like Mei? Would life have found another way to break you? Were things destined or was everyone, including the universe, just making things up as they went along?  

Could you ever be like Mei? Was anyone like her? Did she have secret pain?  

It wasn’t lost on you, the possibility that she wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as she seemed. The shock and surprise of everyone you knew when you ended up in hospital was almost the worst part. If you never heard someone say ‘I had no idea!’ again, it would be too soon. You thought about it a lot, how normal you were (or weren’t). You couldn’t believe that everyone else went through life not thinking the things you thought, that everyone else was somehow just able to get on with things without the sometimes-debilitating urge to sink into the floor forever. 

You shook your head, because you knew you weren’t supposed to be thinking like this. You’d had a really fun time with an old friend and you were going to have a really fun time tomorrow with a new friend. That was all. There was no need to ruin it by overthinking and second-guessing.  

You tapped a finger nervously on the bar as you sat on your stool. You used to come here a lot, or at least semi-frequently, but you hadn’t ventured into this part of the city since you moved out of the apartment you had shared with your ex. He got the apartment, so he got the neighbourhood, too.  

You couldn’t really miss it, not on its own, because your life had changed dramatically after the break-up: you moved somewhere else, lost most of your friends, and stopped going out. This was really the only ‘out’ that you knew. And, crucially, it was close enough to Sungbin to become his neighbourhood, too. So here you were, tapping at the bar, staring at the door, trying not to gulp your drink and be drunk before he even arrived.  

It was bright and hot and humid. It had rained solidly for three days and the water still hung in the air, clung to your skin, even as the sun tried its best to burn it away. You pressed your palm against your cold glass and tried to will yourself cooler without success. You already felt sticky with sweat and you didn’t know if that was entirely down to the weather, or if your nerves were also to blame.  

You knew you didn’t have to be so nervous. What was the worst that could happen? Taehyung had, very patiently, talked you through it: all possible outcomes, all likely scenarios, best- and worst-case situations; he had reminded you that you were an adult human being who knew how to speak to other people. You did. You did know. But it had been a very long time since you had been in this situation. It wasn’t a date. Obviously, it wasn’t a date, but it was the closest you had got to one for many years; you were meeting a man, in a bar, alone. You didn’t know each other; you were hoping he would like you.  

You took another gulp of your drink and repeated Taehyung’s words back to yourself. You reminded yourself of how good things were, ran through your gratitude list, tried to persuade yourself not to psych yourself out before the date (it was not a date! NOT. A. DATE.) had even begun. 

You had turned from the door, realising how awkward it might be for you to have to stare at each other as he walked towards you and were now just glancing over your shoulder every single time you heard the door open. To stop it being awkward. You had done well to pace yourself and it was as you lifted your glass to your lips for another sip that you heard someone call your name. You turned and came face to face with a man you knew could not be Sungbin. 

“Hi,” he said somewhat awkwardly as you continued to drink. “I don’t know if you remember me but I’m Mei’s cousin, Sungbin.” 

You gasped as you drank and it all came out in a choke and a splutter and you were blushing and fumbling to put your glass down, find a napkin, rewind time by ten seconds. The napkin came from his hand and you took your time drying your face and hands to try to will your blushes away. You were so embarrassed you could barely look at him.  

And there was so much of him to look at. This was not tiny, tall drink of water Sungbin from your university days. He was huge. He must have grown at least six inches taller, not to mention wider. His biceps were the size of thighs and his thighs were almost bursting out of his skinny jeans. You didn’t know where to look. 

“You can’t be Sungbin!” you cried. “You’ve got to be the guy that ate him!” 

He laughed and tugged at his hair a little self-consciously. 

“Yeah, I guess I’ve grown a bit.” 

“A bit!  You’re... You’re a hulk!”  

You were off your stool and gripping his bicep before he’d even finished the sentence—your fingertips didn’t even come close to touching. You were gawking, gaping, ogling this poor man without an attempt to hide it. You gestured broadly to his entire body with your other hand and only when you looked back up did you notice the blush on his face, the awkward way he averted his gaze. You stood back and gasped again, this time without choking. 

“I’m so sorry,” you told him. “Oh my god, that was so rude of me. I’m so sorry! What a dickhead! This is a terrible first impression for me to be making!” 

“Technically, not a first impression; we have met before.” He chuckled awkwardly. “And I didn’t exactly cover myself in glory then; I was, uh, a little worse for wear, I think.” 

“A little?! We were worse for wear; you were... the worst for wear! I’m amazed you survived.” 

“The joys of youth. Not sure I’d survive doing it now, just in case you had any ideas.” 

“Mei and I could barely get you home then, there is no way on God’s green earth I’d be able to carry you home by myself now! I wouldn’t risk it.” 

“So, we’re agreed then: both getting home in one piece?” 

You lifted your glass. 

“I’ll drink to that!”  

*  

You moved from one bar to the next, almost retracing steps you used to take in what felt like your former life. Sungbin paid great attention to where you were going and what else was around, cataloguing his new area, making notes for his new life. Your nerves were long gone, as were his, and you were enjoying a night out with a relative stranger as if you were a real person who did things like this: a real person who made new friends, who went out at the weekend, who had a proper life again. You had to pinch yourself to make sure this was all really happening, that this was all really going well. Your problems felt miles away, lightyears. You wondered if this is what it felt like to be normal. Whole. Fixed. You made a mental note to tell your therapist. 

You were on a roof terrace, carpeted with fake grass, decorated with fake flowers. Everything was clean and bright and the sun was still high in the summer sky. It was still a little too warm and a little too sticky, your glasses sweating as well as your bodies, but the lightest of breezes lifted the ends of your hair every now and then, and you couldn’t have imagined a more comfortable feeling than the soft rush of wind across your hot skin. You took seats under a white, wooden pergola where the sunlight was dappled through the fronds twisted along the frame.  

This heat usually enervated you, made you lethargic and sloth-like. That night, though, sitting under fake foliage, you felt solar-powered. There was a summer spring in your step. You felt, dare you believe it, like you were glowing. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. A brand new thing. A better thing. Being here, an old place, with Sungbin, a new friend, could have felt awkward, uncomfortable, like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole—you had expected it to—but no. You felt bigger and brighter, not smaller and duller. You were conscious of the possibility of your old life encroaching on your new one, the possibility of running into someone you used to know, but you decided to push those thoughts away. Compartmentalise them. Ignore them. You didn’t need them.  

Sungbin was talking about his ex. It was an awkward break-up; they’d not been together long enough for her to move to Seoul with him, or for him to even ask her to, but it had been long enough that it felt significant, felt like throwing something away when they ended things. But he was young and he wasn’t worried. You didn’t say it out loud but you thought to yourself that a man like him surely would never have to worry: looking like he did, having the position he had, being a sweet, polite kind of guy; women would be queueing up for even a chance with him.  

“I don’t really miss her that much, because there’s so much going on here that I haven’t really even had the time to. That, if nothing else, tells me it was the right decision for us.” 

The words reached your ears but didn’t go in. You could feel your heart pounding hard in your chest and sweat begin to prick in your palms. Your eyes had flicked over the crowd in front of you, people walking in and out, to and from the bar, looking for tables, looking for friends. They had skimmed over the faces of strangers until they hit upon someone familiar. The face had immediately disappeared back into the crowd, but you were sure it was him. It had to be. Why else would your whole body have gone into panic mode? Why else would your legs be like jelly? Why else would your fingers feel numb? A quiet ringing grew louder in your ears and you kept looking for him again, waiting for that dark head above a white shirt to break through the crowd again. You had to be sure it was him. 

“Are you ok?” 

You wanted to stand. You had to stand and get a better view. You wished it weren’t so busy. Why did it have to be a Saturday night? Why were all these people out?  

“Are you ok?” 

A touch on your arm drew you back and your head span to Sungbin. He looked confused, concerned. 

“I think I saw my ex,” you told him, your voice hoarse.  

“Ah. A bad break-up?” 

Your eyes had already gone back to the crowd, scanning and searching.  

FUCK. 

It was him. It really was him. It had to be. It couldn’t be.  

“Yeah, no, I don’t know,” you answered vaguely. 

You were still staring at him and then his eyes flicked to yours and you flinched so hard you almost knocked over your glass. You turned away, turned back; he looked as surprised as you were. He looked unsure. He looked like he was walking over to you. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” you said under your breath, looking at the table, trying to work out how on earth you were going to handle this. You wondered, if you thought hard enough, if you would be able to make yourself disappear. You wondered if you could just run: leg it out of the bar as fast as you could and not look back. You felt dizzy. You felt sick. You felt... drunk. Too drunk. Of all the places and all the times you might have imagined seeing him again, this wasn’t one. This would probably be the very last place you’d have chosen to run into him.  

Sungbin’s hand was back on your arm, less tentative now. He scooted his chair closer to yours. His hand slid down your wrist and he tangled his fingers in yours. You could only look at him; you didn’t have the mental capacity to even form the question in your mind. 

“Don’t worry,” came his reply. “I got you.”  

Then he winked.  

“Hi.” 

You looked up and there he was. San. Just as he always had been. Maybe his hair was a little shorter, you could kid yourself there was an extra line or two on his face. But it was him, no denying. 

“Hi,” you squeaked back. 

You were trying to think of all the things you wanted to say to him, trying to think of all the things you could say to him, that would be appropriate to say to him here, in this bar, whilst holding the hand of another man. 

“Hi, I’m Sungbin.”  

He was confident. He stuck out his free hand and gave San a generous smile. 

“Oh, uh, San.” 

“Nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you, too.” San turned his face back to you. “How have you been?” 

You looked at Sungbin for help: this relative stranger, this potential new friend pretending to be your new boyfriend in front of your old boyfriend, this man who seemed to have much better control of this situation than you did. You could barely think at all. It was a desperate ringing, alarm bells, sirens wailing, a maelstrom of panic. Sungbin smiled at you. You had no idea how long you looked at him before answering, had no sense of time anymore. 

“Yeah, fine,” you said, eventually tearing your gaze from Sungbin to stare into San and the sun behind him. Sungbin gave your hand a squeeze. “Good, actually. You?” 

“Yeah, same old same old, you know how things are. Didn’t expect to see you here.” 

“Oh, that’s my fault.” Sungbin stepping in to save you again. “I live in the area so I’m always dragging her over this way.”  

You stammered for a second, trying to take in San’s surprise and Sungbin’s sweet, encouraging smile. 

“Y-yeah, he does,” you confirmed. “I don’t- I don’t mind, though, really.” 

“Mm, you always liked this bar. I remember.”  

“Yeah.” 

You noticed the way San’s eyes flicked to your hands, clasped together on the table, not just once but again and again. You wished you could peer inside his head, know what he was thinking.  

You were hardly thinking at all. Your brain was trying so hard to be quick that it had overloaded itself, stalled, got stuck. You couldn’t get over the fact of him, there, in front of you. It had been months. Seasons had changed since you saw him last. You had changed. Could he see that? Did you want him to? Did you want him to miss you? Did you want him to be bothered by Sungbin—gentle giant, Sungbin, holding your hand so casually, talking about you as if you really were together? You tried not to imagine what San was doing there, who he was with. You didn’t know if you would care. You wouldn’t be surprised to learn he was dating. He was a catch, you knew that.  

There were too many things happening at once, too many things to process. You felt like you were spinning out of control. What if San knew Sungbin wasn’t your boyfriend? What if he knew this was all pretend? What if he asked more about it? What if everything unravelled before your very eyes and the ground didn’t show mercy and swallow you whole? 

“Are you still living around here?” San asked you. “I would’ve expected to see you around more.” 

“Oh, uh, no. I’m over the river. I just-…"  

You couldn’t commit yourself to the lie, had to let yourself trail off just looking at Sungbin, desperate for a sign you were doing ok, you were playing this the right way. He grinned at you. 

“Like I said, my fault.”  

He shrugged with a light chuckle and San faintly followed suit, mouth moving but no sound actually coming out. 

“Right, well,” he began in the tell-tale way that said he was backing out of this conversation. “I’d better get back to my table. It was uh, nice meeting you, Sungbin. Good to see you, too-” his eyes rested on you, needled into you like he was searching for something specific in your face. “I’m glad you’re doing well.” 

“Yeah, me too. I mean, me for you, you know what I mean.” 

A genuine smile. And a nod. Then he was retreating back into the sea of people, disappearing and leaving no trace. No trace but the hammering of your heart. No trace but the sweat pooling in your palms and sticking your dress to your back. No trace but the sudden exhaustion of the relief you felt being out of his presence. Sungbin squeezed your hand again. 

“Bad break-up?” 

You rested your forehead on the fingers of your free hand and shook your head. 

“It was for me. It was the right decision but yeah, it was bad for me. I haven’t... I haven’t seen him since I moved the last of my shit out from our apartment – what used to be our apartment.” 

Sungbin nodded knowingly and placed his hand on top of yours just for a second. Then he let you go completely. 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped. I realise I didn’t really give you a chance to disagree; I’m sorry about that. I-” 

You shook your head and waved your hand.  

“It’s absolutely fine,” you reassured him. “It was good, actually.”  

You were deeply grateful for his quick-thinking, presumptuous though it may have been. You wanted to splash your face with cold water, give yourself a shock, try to bring yourself back into the room. You didn’t want to look like you were still completely hung up on your ex; you didn’t want to look like a mess; you just needed a second to take a breath. 

“That was... not expected,” you went on, more for your benefit than for his. “I have thought so many times about what I would say and what I would do if I saw him again but I guess I never really believed it would happen and then suddenly, he was fucking right in front of me and I just felt like dying!” 

Sungbin laughed, as you knew he would, because it was a joke. It was a joke. But you didn’t not feel like dying for at least a second there.  

“When did you break up?” 

“Oh, months ago now. Kind of feels like I should be over it, I guess. I mean, I am, really. I just-...” 

“You were caught off-guard. I get it; it’s rough seeing them again.”  

It was rough. And you believed that he did get it. And he smiled at you so sincerely that you could have cried. It surprised you, that people could be nice to you; that people could like you, even; that people could see you and still smile at you. You looked at each other a little longer, Sungbin’s quiet calm radiating through you, your heartrate slowing and your spinning head coming to a stop. 

“Thank you,” you said as you picked up your glass to take a sip to cover awkwardness that only you felt. “That was quick thinking and um, yeah, I think it helped. You didn’t have to do that.” 

Sungbin shrugged.  

“You’re doing me a big favour tonight; it was the least I could do. Happy to be your fake boyfriend whenever you need!”  

He laughed and then you laughed and it felt good. You drained the last of your drink and Sungbin suggested you go somewhere else for your next one. You agreed. You didn’t look for San on your way out, just kept your eyes on Sungbin’s back as he led you, your hand in his (just in case), back through the bar and out onto the street. 

* 

“You don’t have to literally walk me to my door,” Sungbin said as you stepped into the lift with him. “I maintain that it should be me walking you home.” 

You shrugged. 

“That argument might hold water if you had even half a clue of how to get to my apartment. But you don’t. Besides, I was taking you out tonight; it only follows that I walk you back, too. Why break tradition?” 

Sungbin bit back a grin. 

“How long before I live that down?” 

“Oh, at least five more years.” 

“Well, if you’re going to make me suffer that, don’t you think we should do this correctly? Now, how did it go again?” 

He moved behind you and draped himself over your shoulders, slowly leaning his weight onto you. You cried out and could do nothing but collapse underneath him. 

“NO! I couldn’t carry you then; now you’re just trying to kill me!” 

You knelt on the floor of the lift with your hands outstretched above you, as if they would in any way hold him off. He straightened and pulled you up by them. 

“Fine,” he conceded as he stepped out at his floor. “But next time, you’re going to have to let me walk you home. Deal?” 

You shrugged. You nodded. You didn’t take that as a promise.  

“About your ex,” Sungbin started, standing in front of his door. 

“Yeah?” 

“Where exactly are you at with that?” 

That had you on the backfoot. You didn’t know how to answer the question for yourself, let alone for him. Your first thought was that you probably would have to ask your therapist; did she think you were over it? Would she think you had closure? You blinked and opened your mouth as if somehow an answer would fall out of it without your having to compile it first.  

“I just mean,” he continued, “are you dating? Would it be alright if I asked you out?” 

“Oh, uh, I-”  

Would it be alright? Wouldn’t it be? You had told yourself you were off dating. You weren’t ready for it; you had been emphatic when you’d said as much to Yoongi only a few weeks ago. Was that still true? You had spent so much time that day reminding yourself that this wasn’t a date, but... what if it had been? San aside, it had gone well, hadn’t it? You had had fun; Sungbin seemed like he had, too. He was the one who pretended to be your boyfriend first. Maybe... Maybe it would be ok? Maybe you were ready? There was only one way to really find out.  

“Yeah, I guess that would be fine.” 

He smiled. 

“Good. I’ll do that then.”  

He took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your knuckles; everything inside you fluttered. Then he winked and dropped your hand to enter his door code. 

“Text me when you get home safe, yeah?”  

You nodded, mute. He smiled at you again. 

“It was really nice to see you again.” And when he said your name, it sounded new.  

You didn’t leave immediately. Couldn’t. You stood outside his apartment, in shock, processing, looking at his closed front door, to the left, to the right, looking for an answer to what just happened. Sungbin did not just ask you out. But he did say he would. He was going to ask you out.  

And you had already kind of said yes.  

To a date. 

You fumbled in your bag for your phone and had it to your ear before you realised you absolutely had to leave, lest Sungbin hear you speaking. You scuttled back down the hallway and into the lift while Taehyung’s phone rang and rang and eventually went to voicemail. You hung up and tried again. And then again. And then you sent him a text. 

You: TEDDY!!! PICK UPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

You tried calling for a fourth time and for a fourth time, you heard the automated voice of his voicemail service.  

You threw your phone back into your bag, defeated, but jittery with nerves and adrenaline. You could barely remember how this felt. In fact, with San you had seen it coming. You had engineered it. You had been flirting for weeks; you practically demanded he ask you out. Then he did. This had come out of the blue. Blindsided you. For the second time that evening. You were so shocked by Sungbin’s question that you had, momentarily, forgotten about running into San.  

What a fucking night. One that you had almost no idea how or where to start processing. Everything was-… you threw your hands in the air, by yourself, in the lift, shaking your head, completely bewildered. Taehyung was your go-to person for this. He was your sounding board. You picked up your phone to call him just one more time.  

* 

Your phone rang as you were changing into your pyjamas and you picked it up with your vest only half pulled down over your chest. 

“Teddy! Finally!” 

“Are you dying?” 

“No.” 

“Are you hurt or injured or maimed in any way?” 

“No.” 

“Then stop calling!” 

“Hey! I need to talk to you!” 

“Well, it’s going to have to wait, princess; I’m busy.” 

“Not even for five minutes?” 

“No.” 

“But I saw San!” 

There was a pause as Taehyung digested the information. 

“Are you ok?” he asked simply. 

“Yeah.” 

“Then it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow.” 

You heard a rustling in the background, another voice. 

“Oh my god,” you gasped, turning your voice down to a loud stage whisper. “Are you with someone?” 

“... Yes.” 

“OH MY GOD! Oh my god, please tell me it’s the barista. Is it the barista? It is, right?!” 

“... Yes.” 

You squealed and fell onto your sofa to kick your feet in the air. 

“WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!” you screamed down the phone. 

“Yes, but tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, fine, tomorrow. Oh my god. I am SO excited, Teddybear.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll talk to you later. I’m going now.” 

“Bye, Teddy!” 

“Good night, babe; love you.” 

“Love you!” 

It was entirely possible that you weren’t going to be able to sleep at all now.  

You squealed as you opened your door and let Taehyung into your apartment. He handed over an ice-cold, sweating cup of coffee and flopped onto your sofa.  

“Tell me literally everything,” you demanded. 

He merely shrugged. 

“Don’t be fucking coy, you piece of shit! I want to know everything! It’s THE BARISTA.” 

The barista worked at a coffee shop not far from Taehyung’s apartment. The barista was a fine, delicate-boned, ethereal beauty, probably the prettiest person you had ever seen in real life. Even Taehyung—unflappable, cool, calm and collected Taehyung—had been flustered the first time the barista had flashed him his pearly whites. And, last night, something had finally happened between them.  

“There’s really not that much to tell,” Taehyung countered. “I asked him out and he said yes.” 

You hit him hard with a cushion. 

“I said I want to know everything! And you can’t just say it like it was that simple; you’ve been daydreaming about that guy for months!” 

“Firstly, I was sussing out his situation. I understand tact and diplomacy and how to not say every stupid thing that’s in my head at any given moment-” 

“Uncalled for, but go on.” 

“-So I had to bide my time.-” 

“Also, you’re a massive chicken and he made you go knock-kneed and goo-goo-eyed.” 

“-Do you want me to tell you what happened? Or would you prefer to just make up your own version?” 

You cackled. 

“You know I’d love to make up my own story, but no, sorry, I’ll stop interrup-” 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, babygir-” 

“Ok, now who’s interrupting?!” 

“I’m the one trying to tell you a story!” 

“Ok! Ok! Fine, spin your yarn and give me the entire confection, please.” 

* 

“I’m seeing him again tonight. Truth be told, I’d be with him right now if someone hadn’t already laid claim to my time.” 

“Teddy!”  

You felt bad for tearing him away from his One True Love, you did. But he’d already seen his success with the barista (Hyunjin to those in the know) and could go running right back to him as soon as he was done here. All you had was a too-warm apartment to stew in until whatever hour or day Sungbin would choose to actually, officially do the asking.  

“Come on, then,” Taehyung said, with a shrug, and nudged you with his foot. “How the fuck did you see San again?” 

Shit, that too.  

“Right, well, you know I was out with Sungbin last night—and, by the way, do NOT let me forget to show you his instagram. Oh my god. There are no words. And there’s also something else I need to tell you about him after this. But, yes, San, ok.” 

It felt like trying to describe a blur. You still didn’t know how you felt about it. The whole night felt surreal to you now, like a dream. It was frustrating to have met him but not really met him, to have seen him and not been able to talk. Everything that you had been working through—trying to work through—felt bundled up inside you and you wanted him to know. You didn’t need him to think you were dating again, you didn’t need to ‘win’; you needed him to know that you understood. That maybe there would always be some kind of thing between you—history, old intimacies like ink stains in your skin—but it didn’t mean that that past would hold you back forever. You wanted him to see that you understood that. 

But you came to those conclusions this morning, after a deep sleep, after another man had made implicit promises to ask you out. And, once he’d actually asked you, would anything you had to say to San matter anymore? Did it really matter now?  

“I don’t know how I feel about it because... I had this blind panic, y’know? But I don’t know why I panicked because San is a good person and I understand why he broke up with me and I don’t blame him for that and there really shouldn’t have been any reason for it to be awkward, right?” 

“I mean, another man pretending to be your boyfriend might make it a little awkward.” 

“Maybe... But that’s not Sungbin’s fault; he was trying to help. I thought I’d be cool seeing him again, because I’ve thought so much about things I want to say to him or would say if I could, but when he was actually in front of me, it was like I couldn’t think at all. I don’t know what that means.” 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything. You were surprised.” 

“Yeah, but shouldn’t I be over him? Should he have that effect on me even now?” 

“I don’t think ‘should’ is a helpful word here, sugarplum. There is no should or shouldn’t about feelings; isn’t that therapy 101?” 

“I just don’t know... I guess I thought that seeing him again would make everything crystal clear, written in stone. Sure. But... Well—ok, the other thing is that Sungbin kind of asked me out.” 

“On a date?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What did you say?” 

“Well, he asked me if it would be alright if he asked me out. And I said yes. So he said he would. But he hasn’t actually asked me yet.” 

“And you want to know if you should go out with him or not?” 

“I guess?”  

You shrugged. You wanted to go out with Sungbin. You knew you wanted to because you could picture his smiling face and bulging biceps and you saw clearly, outside of the moment, how quickly and easily he stepped in to support you, no questions asked and no favours owed. He wanted to date you. You knew you wanted to date him. But- 

“I don’t want it to be a mistake,” you said.  

“That’s natural. No one likes making mistakes.” 

“No, I mean, I don’t want it to be a mistake for Sungbin.” 

“Why would it be?” 

You looked at him, trying to say, without saying, what you meant. Because it had been for San—you had been. He was better off without you and maybe Sungbin would be, too. He was young and rich and free; he had just moved to the biggest city in the country; he had the world at his feet. Were you really going to let him limit himself, stop himself at your door?  

Taehyung looked cross for a moment, lips pursed and eyebrows drawn, then he took a sip of his coffee (mostly iced water at this point) and, when he turned back to you, his gaze was softer.  

“Baby,” he cooed and he held his arms out to you. Despite the heat in your poorly air-conditioned apartment, you climbed into his lap and let him stroke your hair. “There’s only one way to know for sure if something’s a mistake and that’s to do it. Sungbin clearly wants to. If you also want to, then you’re just going to have to dive in. The water’s great.” 

You nodded and let him hold you, so grateful to him and all his tact and diplomacy and gentleness. He wasn’t always—or often—gentle with you, because usually that’s not what you needed and he knew it. Just like he knew that today, that was what you needed. 

“I do have one question, though,” he said and his hesitance made your stomach drop. 

“Ok.” 

“Where does Yoongi fit in with all of this?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I don’t know; I thought you guys were-” 

“-Friends! Just friends! Have I not said it a million times?! We’re just friends! We’ve always just been friends!” 

“But you did have sex-” 

“ONE TIME!” 

You pushed away from him to better display your indignation and displeasure. Taehyung had a bee in his bonnet about Yoongi—had done since you’d first mentioned him—even though he didn’t know the guy, didn’t know anything. 

“Ok, ok!” He held his hands up in defeat. “I just sort of figured you guys were heading in that direction.” 

“Why?” 

“You seem to like him a lot.” 

“I do. Because we’re friends. I like you a lot, too, and we’re not going to shack up.” 

“Yes, love, but I’m gay and you are not a man.” 

You pushed him. 

“You know what I mean!” 

“I take your point. If you want to date Sungbin and feel good about it, then you have my blessing-” 

“I don’t need your blessing, Teddy; I can do what I like!” 

He fixed his eyes on you and simply waited you out. 

“Ok, fine!” you cried, exasperated, after probably not more than five seconds. “Thank you, yes, I did want your approval.” 

“And you have it, my sweet. As long as you’re happy and not being a complete idiot, I’m on board.” 

“I mean... Thanks, I guess?” 

"Don’t mention it.” 

“Babe!” you cried as soon as Yoongi step foot inside the classroom the following Thursday. You beckoned him closer, telling him to hurry, and grabbed him by the arm as soon as he was within reach. “I have so much to tell you.” 

He looked surprised, blinked, and then shrugged with a slight nod of his head. You didn’t pause for thought as you unloaded both your bags and your gossip onto the counter. You were sieving flour as you told him about your dinner with Mei; beating eggs into the mixture when you told him about drinks with Sungbin; and watching Yoongi almost drop the entire thing as he placed it in the oven when you mentioned San. 

“What was that like?” he asked with genuine, but guarded, curiosity.  

“A blur. Kind of a panicked mess but also fine. I sort of want a do-over but mostly for my pride, y’know? It was bumping into an ex, not actually meeting up with them so I think that made it better. But also worse because I had no time to prepare but there was also no opportunity to get into the difficult stuff which meant we didn’t have to get into it.” 

“Do you still want to do that? Talk to him?” 

“There’s a lot I want to say to him, but they are things I want to say more than things I think he would need or want to hear. If we met, it would be for my benefit and I don’t know if he deserves to be pulled in for that. Do you know what I mean?” 

He looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded.  

“And that was before Sungbin asked me out, too, so maybe I would be saying something different if that hadn’t happened.” 

“He asked you out?” 

Yoongi was turning towards his counter, looking at his sugar in his pan, turning on the hob, his head inclined just slightly towards you to indicate that he was listening. He needlessly pushed a hand through his hair which, far from tucking it behind his ear, made it fall in front of his face. You were, likewise, distracted by your sugar syrup and altogether too excited to take note of much else. 

“Yes!” you cried in answer. “So, on the Saturday he asked if he could and, obviously, I said yes. Then it took him until Wednesday to actually do the damn thing, but yes, he asked me out and I said yes and we’re going out tomorrow for our first actual date.” 

“Wow.” 

“I know, right? I had no idea it was coming—the bit where he asked if he could ask me out, I mean. We ran into my ex at drinks! And he asked me out?! And I was... I was discombobulated, you might say; I stood at his door for five minutes just in shock at what had happened. I was in disbelief. Especially because I wasn’t expecting it! At all. I mean, I was just doing Mei a favour! I didn’t think anything of it and now I can’t stop thinking about it! Or, well, him. I had forgotten how exciting this part is? It’s terrifying, yeah, completely horrifying, really, but I also just feel like I’m alive, y’know?” 

You paused briefly, glancing at the oven timer and stirring your syrup.  

“I just...” you started and then stopped, staring off into space to let the thought coalesce in your brain. “It’s so crazy that you can think one thing and then someone comes into your life and, suddenly, everything is so different. All it takes is one person to—ok, this is dramatic but you know me now so you’re going to have to let me be—change your whole life. A chance encounter? And suddenly I’m not the world’s loneliest, bitterest, most miserable single person alive? Suddenly, I have something to be excited about? To look forward to? I’m getting ahead of myself, I know I am, but I’m allowing it. I’m allowed to indulge in this because it’s been so long. I’ve been miserable for ages now. And I’m finally not. Don’t get me wrong when I say this, because therapy works, or at least it helps, it really does, but man, having a crush on someone is fucking electric, right? Years of counselling and it turns out nothing makes you feel the joy of being alive like when you really fucking like someone.” 

Yoongi hummed. 

Chapter Three | Masterlist | Chapter Five

[bluebudgie]

Alright peeps. Obligatory first impression post. Not spoiler free this time.

Tl;dr having a really really good time.

Details:

Oof I'll try to keep this as short as possible (not short). And I'll try not to make it too much of a SotO comparison fest.

Maps

Let's start with the obvious one. And probably the longest one. The two new maps. I love both of them. Absolutely beautifully refreshing maps.

Lowland Shore is so rich both in layout and activities. It feels so full of life (dare I say one of the first maps in a while that feels genuinely alive), it's gorgeous to look at and really fun to explore. I got some Grothmar Valley vibes from this one in terms of how busy the map feels. Fun events and mini games at every corner, all packaged in a beautiful landscape. Also my jaw literally dropped when I dove into the bee cave lol.

Janthir Syntri (sick name, idk if syntri means anything but I love how it's written) feels a little less unique in terms of layout but it nails the atmosphere. The coast looks amazing and I adore the snippets of lore scattered all around the map. I've been absorbing those journal pages. This map feels kinda like Lake Doric if it were cool.

I cannot overstate how happy I am that these maps are largely walkable by foot, some vistas and mastery insights aside that require the warclaw. SotO's maps were by far the biggest expansion killer to me (a formal shoutout to Amnytas at this point which has officially dethroned Lake Doric as The Worst Map. That's two Lake Doric mentions in one post.)... and I'm just so happy we got really nice ones this time around. No Tangled Depths or Draconis Mons, but... really nice nonetheless.

Music

Similarly the new music is very pretty and atmospheric, but what else is new in this game. Haven't had a proper listen to the OST outside the game yet, but I do fondly remember one ambient song in particular which I'm curious to check out. I believe it plays in Janthir Syntri exclusively. Also the battle themes slap.

The masteries

Said this an earlier post already, but I like the mastery progression. It's been kind of hit or miss depending on the expansion, but this time around the unlocked masteries feel like meaningful upgrades to look forward to.

Story

Hell yea having a blast with this one. Love the Tyrian Alliance. Those meetings are absolutely hilarious. All these different people clashing and trying to stay diplomatic while wanting to tear each other apart. I like that a lot of older "loose" plot points were brought up for that occasion too.

The newly introduced characters are all really likeable and I feel like I already know more about them and their motivations now than we ever (unfortunately!) got to know about half of the SotO cast. Admittedly, we've got far fewer new characters this time, and that's probably a good thing.

I'm VERY intrigued by the whole golden city saul d'alessio white mantle direction we're moving in. As mentioned earlier, the lore journals and diaries have been CONSUMED.

Also, Rata Primus mentioned.

There's probably more to say and I'm probably forgetting half of the things I meant to say here. But this is once again getting way longer than it needs to be lol. Anyway [youtuber voice] let me know what you think in the comment section and see you next time

[inferencesarchives]

Slithers up to you like a snake

What about a reader who's like a parental figure to Walnut?

Like.. They help Almond babysit her whole he's working

🦎

Take Care

almond x gn reader

summary: some hcs about almond having a s/o that helps take care of walnut

warnings: idk i don't think there's any

ok first off just a quick general hc here. this guy is absolutely smitten for you. like you can't tell me this guy isn't a huge simp for his s/o (he would never admit it tho)

^because of how much he loves, he didn't think it was possible for him to fall even harder for you than he already has. but when you offered to help take care of walnut, boy was he head over heels.

he's so grateful that you're willing to help him and that you're so kind to his daughter.

walnut cookie absolutely loves you. she is like so attached to you. she's so happy that you get to be her new parent kinda

walnut cookie always likes to talk to you about her hobbies and other stuff she's been getting into lately. she's always so happy when she gets to talk to you aaaaa :,))

^also hc that walnut likes to draw but is a beginner and really wants to improve. whenever you compliment one of her doodles she just explodes with joy!!

almond is so happy that walnut trusts you and that the two of you get to spend time together. he loves the both of you so much and he would give both of you the world if he could.

bonus: once, almond came home to find both of you asleep at the kitchen table next to walnut's unfinished homework (lol)

a/n: sorry it's kinda short but this was super cute and i had a lot of fun writing itttttt ty 🦎 anon for ur amazing ideas <33 also im still trying to kick writers block in the shins so that's mainly why things are super short rn but hopefully once i finish my last request and take some time to actually rest and redo some stuff on my blog ill be good to go and start writing again :]

thanks for stopping by!

wanna submit a request? see my requesting rules- oh where did they go oh dear they ran away oh no- oh, here they are!

[mmcgemino]

How I almost went on stage with Gene Simmons (and also a heavy vent)

Today was the first day of Summer Breeze here in Brasil and Gene’s on the headline. I traveled 8 hours just to see him and Sebastian Bach play. I was so excited to see them and my mind was set on giving Gene a poster and a letter. I really wanted to give him a piece of my work and say how much KISS changed my life.

There was going to be a signing session at 3pm and when arrived there at 11am there was already a line. No problem for me, honestly, I could wait. But then somebody from the staff told us that the time changed for 7pm. I didn’t want the whole day of festival + Sebastian’s show, so I gave up on that.

Sebastian Bach’s show was amazing (I even got an autograph!). It was kinda short but I still had a lot of fun. Next would be Mr. Big (that I didn’t bother to watch) and then, finally, Gene’s band.

God, I was right in front of him. LITERALLY. This was my view the whole show:

I was SO close from the stage, already at the barrier (is that the right name in english?) It was actually funny, because the first thing he did when he finished the first song was to point at me and say with eyes wide opened: sua bunda é linda! That’s a silly thing he says every time he’s in Brasil. (There’s a video of him saying it on a tv show just for reference). I also had some silly interactions with him, like me motion grabbing his tits and him looking shocked. Honestly, if the show ended like that it would be just fine. I’ve never been this close to someone who’s so important to me, much less recognizing my presence and being silly with me. Hell, I didn’t even care about my letter anymore. It was a kick ass show.

But in the last song (that was obviously Rock n Roll All Night), he started calling a lot of girls on stage. There were some in front of me, between the tiny gap separating the stage from the fans. I guess they were sponsors, photographers or idk, more than VIP. But then he pointed at me and called me!!! What ??!????? It sounds just like a fanfic, unbelievable. And I swear on all my family that I ain’t lying. I crossed that barrier with the help of other people and ran backstage.

To have Gene pointing at YOU and calling YOU to be on stage with him is once in a lifetime. To be ON STAGE, my literal dream and goal in life. What I’ve been working for the past couple of years. To have the chance to give my letter to him and even sing by his side. With Gene fucking Simmons from KISS, my favorite band.

But when I got backstage, they told me that I couldn’t go. “There’s too many girls there.” I was the last one he picked and the only one who didn’t make it. I begged that guy, not from Gene’s production but from the event. I even cried. The securities around me were sorry but if I didn’t leave, their jobs would be on the line. I couldn’t even see the man leave the stage. I couldn’t even see the show end.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do from now on. There’s nothing to say, no consolation prize, nothing. “But there will be other shows, other opportunities”, that’s the kind of bullshit that I had to hear. No, there won’t be another Gene Simmons in Brasil calling me to be on stage. My life could have been changed forever.

I was never lucky, never won any raffles or had accomplished great achievements in life. In my letter, the first thing I wrote (as cheesy as it is) “If you’re reading this, everything is possible”. I also wrote how KISS literally changed my life when I went on their last tour here in Brasil, how they took me out of a really bad place and made me run after my dreams. It seems silly, part of me feels like an idiot to be that sad. But I just can’t get over this, can’t have any consolation on that. To be always “almost there” but never actually “there”.

Also, this is the poster I wanted to give him:

The quality is crap and I definitely could do better if I had more time. But I gave my all making it.

Sorry for the long post and the crappy sob story. This just happened like 2 hours ago and everything is still fresh. I decided to write this post because I wanted to share my frustration with people who understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

(Fun fact his pants were tearing up but nobody told him)

[bloomingstay]

favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids, if that was any surprise

which member sparked your interest first?

hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??

But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again

who was your first bias?

chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…

what makes them your current bias?

oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)

it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp

who is your bias wrecker?

i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.

i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?

in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him

after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.

hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍

when did you first discover the group?

(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)

okokok so

i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing

but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.

then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)

THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

not yet~

what are some of your favorite songs by them?

THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)

Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts

levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.

secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?

leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies

sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.

megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.

gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else

domino. neeed I say more

social path is bomb

grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow

eternity. told u I’d cheat.

love poem. big cheat my list worth it

I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.

the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3

@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife

Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!

[yuurivoice]

I know it’s a completely understandably touchy subject but I just want to say as someone who was painting myself Grey a la homestuck deep in the T&D fandom: Atleast one follower from then still fucks w you heavy. That was only a fraction of what was to come of your story telling prowess and you’re awesome and you keep it real

💖

Thank you! Also, the Homestuck scale of how deep someone is in a fandom is so real. Lmfao

I really loved the show and what it was getting out of me. It's why I've still got a part of me that wants to fire up a DnD project, which has been floating in the ether for 2 years now.

There's been some anxiety there related to T&D, but I think what I've realized is one, 99% of people around at this point don't even know wtf that is. Two, I think I've earned enough good will and trust that folks trust that a project under my watch would operate the same way I do and they fuck with that.

Any time I've talked about any sort of big project, whether it's working with other VAs for Echoes, a D&D thing, etc. one thing I've always brought up is that my community specifically is a really amazing foundation. The core is really mature, chill, and locked in. That core has steadily grown, and over the years that has been responsible for developing the kind of followers and fans that anyone on the internet would kill to have in their community.

The niches we are in are filled with a lot of parasocial vibes, rampant immaturity, or just...idk, fuckin attitudes that I find off-putting and obnoxious. That shit works for some people but it isn't for me. And because I'm very open about it, I'm not some folks cup of tea and I'm cool with that because they probably aren't mine either and I'm in the position to not have to sacrifice my comfort and patience for a dollar.

Saying a whole lot to say if I do fire up the DnD project, I hope friends old and new will come along for the ride. It will always be a little scary for me. I'm scared just doing Echoes of Evalas, which isn't nearly as intimate and personal as sharing a DnD table. I have some fun ideas both for my "tabaxi" DM Vtuber and a full on live play setup. But we'll see what the future holds. ✨️

[leiawritesstories]

20 Questions for Writers!

Thanks for the tag @writtenonreceipts!! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21 and counting 👀

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

226,575

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily for Throne of Glass, but I'm always open to writing for more fandoms :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Chef Rowan

Fly The Black Flag

Until Proven Guilty

Wild Proposal Stories

Quarter After One

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! Comments are one of the best parts of being a writer/creator and it makes me happy to both receive and give them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Late-Night Dances, which involves MCD🫣🫣 or really any of the handful of fics I've written where a character doesn't make it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh maybe Fly The Black Flag? I kind of borrowed the ending from POTC but changed some things, and a little while later, I was able to write a sort of epilogue/outtake where Rowaelin have a child, and it was super fluffy and cute and heartwarming.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No? I don't think so, this community is genuinely wonderful and so supportive :))

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do, hehe. I've only ever written F/M explicit content

10. Do you write crossovers?

Well......sort of. I like to sneak in characters from the other SJM books if it's possible and if it works, and once upon a time I tried to write a crossover fic that has since been abandoned 😂. But if it's ever in the cards, I'd love to properly write one!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also nope, but that would be so cool

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Possibly 👀👀👀 @mariaofdoranelle

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

Rowan x Aelin. They will never not be an OTP.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably The Only Option, which has a whole plan/outline and some notes for the plot but will probably never be anything more than what it is. This also happens to be the fic that sparked my main idea for an original novel, so it might never be more of a fanfic, idk.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know lol. I think I can write family dynamics/kids pretty well, but I grew up with a bunch of siblings so it's kind of easier for me to write sibling and family dynamics. I'm also the proud (?) owner of an inner angst monster that I call Frederick, and he's very very good at having ideas for making situations painful 🤭

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely consistency. Even in oneshots, I'm prone to forgetting what I wrote earlier or if they're linked oneshots/in the same setting or world, I tend to forget or change details about the setting, which just bothers me SO much. And don't even get started on how horribly inconsistent I am in long fics 😭😭 like, I'm a hella planner, but somehow I'll be rereading old parts of a draft (hello, Until Proven Guilty) and realize that there are big glaring gaps from the earlier parts to the later parts and just cry over the plot holes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it! If the language is significant to a certain character, particularly to their background/development, I love to see dialogue in another language. Wish I spoke better in the other languages that I sort of know (Spanish/tiny bit of Italian) so I could incorporate it into writing. I think it's also super super amazing how some writers can create original languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bloody Jack Throne of Glass! Started writing and never stopped lol ;)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i had a whole lot of fun writing DILF Rowan, which came from a prompt. also really really enjoyed The Assassin and the Princess, which is a sort of alternate canon reimagining.

some tags if you want: @mariaofdoranelle @elentiyawhitethorn @tomtenadia @house-of-galathynius @rowanaelinn and anyone else who wants to!!!

[phoenix-reburned]

More coherent thoughts in a minute but

CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP CAMP AGSNDJSJSJRFNFKDUWYEGEF

Anyways onto actual stuff. I actually like the voices now that I've heard them in actual quality, it will take some time to get used to some little things (Max especially has a few tones that are weird) but all in all I think they did great and I find that they fit the characters pretty well. Max's is definitely my favorite change outta the bunch.

I love how they addressed the hiatus in Nikki's letter in the beginning, it was nice to see them acknowledge how long the fans have been waiting. I really enjoyed the characterization in this episode. I've seen people say that Max was inconsistently characterized in s4, and while I didn't really notice it I think the writing on all the kids was really good. I love the Dolph redesign, it fits him so much more and I'm glad they're finally getting rid of the stupid Hitler stuff.

I liked how good the humor was in this episode, a lot less offensive-shocking humor and more... Idk well written humor I guess? It's 3am rn forgive me for my stupidity rn lol.

The plot was good too. They spent enough time on the funny, typical camp camp plot while also taking the time to actually take the characters, their development, and their story as a whole seriously. I enjoyed both halfs, but the second half was definitely the highlight. It was what a lot of us were wanting for a long time. I love how they let Max grieve the loss of summer and didn't force him to be optimistic at the end. I love how David was real with him and actually TALKED to him. I know it's not the first time but this episode's Dadvid moment definitely stands out as one of the BEST moments in the entire series imo. The end was amazing and I loved seeing my kids again and can't wait to see even more next year!

Now onto season 5 general thoughts. I'm curious if Gwen is gonna be completely absent from next season since she's got her new writing gigs. It would be nice to have her visit for an episode or two still, or at least show that she and David are still talking. I think it'd be fun to have a new character to replace her as a counselor, hell maybe even two counselors! I'm also wondering how many kids are gonna be back next summer. I mean the main trio obviously, but are they gonna try and add and remove characters? I wonder if they'll write Dolph out permanently with this. It would be cool to have a few new campers this season, but I hope that doesn't come at the cost of our old ones leaving. Those are kind of my main questions going into this season and I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks about this stuff.

Also, Max and photography is not something I thought would mix but it's actually perfect and I love it I missed my son so bad-

[abovecalamity]

I think I've seen you say you don't openly disclose which drivers you dislike before and I wholeheartedly respect that, do not get me wrong! You seem to be a sweet person on here and (forgive me for assuming) like someone who hates conflict of that kind.

So feel free to not answer this. No bad blood. I won't annoy you. 🧡

I'm just so nosy. You have really toned down the Lance Stroll posting compared to the last months and without trying to be rude, have your feelings towards him changed after the whole 'him hanging with zionists' thing? I couldn't find your opinion on this (again feel free to ignore me) and I'd really like to know, because of my own change of heart towards him.

Thank you and please have a great weekend 🧡

I will try my best to answer this. I am apologising if I ramble beforehand. Just letting out my thoughts on this.

Firstly, yes I have said I'm not here to openly hate the drivers I dislike and do stand by that opinion. I don't gain anything from producing or reblogging brainless shit. However, I have been thinking about *maybe* and this is just a *maybe* even doing a serious tierlist / general opinions post myself, to pin. Not because I feel the need to but because I want to. Not that it's massively important what I think lol.

And even then, I will not be found openly hating for the most part. It's just not what I enjoy doing and yes, Idk if you have somehow analysed me but a big part of that is hating conflicts and thriving for a harmony this whole world will never have.

Now, onto Lance Stroll.

Have I toned down my Lance posting? Yes, I have. Have my thoughts on him changed recently? Yes, they have. Have you missed any thoughts of mine that I shared? No, you have not.

I haven't talked about this, except for one lengthy outburst to my friend. If you see this, hello <3

I have mostly spent my time trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I'm not some saint, yes, we're in the sport of unmorality ... I'm not rolling up that whole conversation but simply put, yes I have become more indifferent and way less positive about him when I had to come to the realisation that, based on his surroundings, it is unbelievably likely he's a zionist.

We have had these conversations in the past but at the beginning of May it became very apparent with all the tags and affiliations and so on. How everyone feels about these things are personal and personally I don't mind seeing some of my dearest friends still posting about him. However, I have come to a point where I can't do that anymore. Even if I'm solely asking the emotional irrational side of myself, I'm moving on from him and at this point in time, regarding everything, I believe this is to be a good thing.

You asked for my feelings, here they are.

I don't know if this is my age speaking but of course this fucking sucks. But this has mostly to do with the lovely fandom space and the amazing fanfics I've had the pleasure to enjoy and less about the man himself that I don't know myself.

What I care about in this little fandom space we got here is; making silly jokes, making friends with this shared interest, admiring fan art, having fun with writing fanfic (although I haven't posted in a while, I still daydream about doing it again), reading fanfic (a BIG part for me) and just having a great time overall.

No fucking clue if I communicated this well, but it is what I had to say to this.

It is most likely that I will simply ignore him for now and only speak of him in context to other people - I do not have hateful feelings towards him (whether that's good or bad, it just IS).

I will follow the wise path of indifference and the only thing I really want, is to not lose any friendships which I'm sure won't happen. Other than that, I think I have said what I wanted.

I hope you're having a great weekend too! I'm currently sitting in a thunderstorm lol how ironic.

[heartfullofleeches]

Idk if u got my first request because my phone has been glitching but can u write some C.C. nsfw headcanons?

(mdni: cw/tags under cut)

[Crossdressing, small mention of breath play]

Dude's a freak, but oddly wholesome at the same time. With him being an incubus and a member of the party crowd, sexual encounters were usually a sort of business transaction or something out of the heat of the moment, but when love is involved - that's when things get really good.

It's a whole new experience. More electrifying than any encounter he's had before. He does things he's never done with another partner. Focuses on the small things like how your breath catches in your throat or all the different reactions you have to his touches. Covers you in kisses and hickies no matter what it is your doing. Your body is a temple and he's going to worship it

C.C likes when your verbal. He is over confident in most fields, but sometimes worries he won't be able to satisfy you if the same you quench every every desire of his, and so it's amazing when you tell him how good you make him feel.

Sucker for praise and humiliation. Lives for the former He's a cocky little shit and loves to get on your nerves, also just wants to see the range of your emotions. In the same breath, call him and good boy or say you're proud of him and he'll be a puddle at your feet.

Very into choking. Preferably on the receiving end but he doesn't mind. He does like to nick you with his fangs or nails from time to time but never breaks the skin.

He crossdresses during his daily life so it's not surprise that he enjoys it in the bedroom as well. A little role-playing is fun but nothing beats just laying in bed topless with only a skirt covering himself. He also had a thing for leashes which is fitting as some of the chokers he wears have a ring to hook one on.

C.C doesn't use it often, but is willing to use his demon form if you ask. He can also change his appearance in general to a certain degree; even sex. Like his older brother, C.C has two sex pistols; and his saliva acts as an aphrodisiac. It's an in case of an emergency thing for his kind when the natural charm doesn't work, but just an add on to the fun for you two if you consent.

Aftercall includes you both lounging in his bed or on the couch. He likes to fall asleep after sex, but not before running his mouth and praising you a little more. If he has more energy, you veggie to some takeout and binging watching early 2000's movies targeted for you female audience - or whatever you'd prefer

[malarkgirlypop]

ZIM ZAM!!! 1, 25 and 27 for the ask game please?? <3 love you so much

1 - what is your fav part about being in the fandom?

Well I just love all the creativity from everyone, how are you all so talented may you share with me that would be great thanks. Also we are somehow so similar but then all so different. I don't think I have connected so well with a group of strangers from all over the world. And now we are all so close and it makes me so happy! I get to share some of my fondest interest with people I now am most fond of!

25 - what colors do your mutuals most remind you of?

OMG ok here we go!

@panzershrike-pretz I would go for a red or yellow, just something bright and eye catching. You have such a firey and fun personality! You just light up any room you walk into, or chat you slide into ahaha. I get so excited, maybe sometimes concerned when I see you typing in chat, half the time I have no idea what is going to come out of your mouth but it is entertaining none the less.

@next-autopsy I see you as a deep sea blue! Just something really comforting about you, you could rock me to sleep in your waves, but then also kinda scary at the same time. From the conversation we had about maybe doing some mutilating ahahah. But you are such a momma bear and you have so much love to give, as big as the ocean!

@footprintsinthesxnd I see you as a light green, like a sage green, you just feel so safe and secure. I know when I talk to you all I will get is just love and positivity. You are so kind and sweet, we don't deserve you! Something about you is so wholesome and green is my happy colour, I feel safe in green, reminds me of nature and calmness. You remind me of birds chirping on a warm summer evening.

@sweetxvanixlla why I see you as a light purple, maybe periwinkle, idk why. You are soft and sweet, but vibrant at the same time! You are so funny and you have the best chats! You always have the kindest things to say, and you're so supportive omg! You're tags when you say things like Kate is the best makes me blush so hard. I just love you are purple. It is a strong colour, like you.

@xxluckystrike midnight Blu hehe get it! No you are the best Blu! Also we have had a lot of chats about music and I just connect you with my sad playlist cause I shared it with you ahahah you asked me how often I cried and I said what?! not that much, but I just couldn't stop talking to you that whole day! And then you said you had to leave and then we kept talking omg! You're so fun and we had very interesting conversations! Anyway that was totally off topic, you are blu to me.

@whollyjoly my oh my you my friend are pink! So bold and vibrant I just can't help but stare. You are always so positive, you come into the group and have amazing ice breaker questions for us, you started a whole cult. You are just fantastic, I love you! But then also I think of flowers when I think of you cause fucking More has a flower crown on in your pfp and it cracks me up every time.

27- what's your fav moment during your time in the fandom?

What a hard question. because what hasn't been my fav moment. I think starting off having all the little chats in the comments with people, and then the random conversations I was having with my mutuals in the shitty dm's that is on tumblr. And then @footprintsinthesxnd deciding to do a discord and then a whole fucking server came from it. Now everyday I wake up so excited to read everything and just get stuck in. We have writing sprint races, morning prayer, torture groups, like what don't we have, memes, Pretz in my walls, being woken up with pots and pans!