#and idk how to stop it or what to do about it cause i don’t want to stop!
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my pretty girl (m.s)
bf!matt sturniolo x f!reader
a/n: i really need to start writing for chris again. i just got so much matt material. sorry y’all. i didn’t know how to end this fic so it’s kinda abrupt… idk.
summary: you want matt's attention and know just how to get it
You had just gotten home from a shopping trip and were trying on a new outfit you had gotten, when you heard your boyfriend Matt moving around in the other room. You had barely seen him the past two days as he and his brothers worked on different projects for brands and videos. Even now it sounded like he was on a call but you couldn’t tell who was on the other end of the line. You sighed loudly, hoping to gain his attention. When that was unsuccessful you decided on something you knew would always catch catch his attention. “I feel so ugly,” you groaned, causing Matt to immediately pause in the conversation he was having in the other room. Matt went back to the conversation he was having and you groaned. “I feel so ugly,” you repeated, a little louder.
“I’m gonna call you back,” Matt told the person on the phone.
Matt made his way to the doorway, a confused look on his face as he looked at you. “What did you say?” he asked.
“I just don’t feel pretty today,” you mumbled, doing your best not to break character.
“Don’t say that,” Matt pleaded hurrying over to where you stood in the middle of the bedroom. “Never say that.”
“But Matt…” you started to say, but he placed a finger over your lips, shushing you.
Matt sighed as he looked at you. “You’re not just pretty. You’re stunning.”
You were about to reply when Matt led you to the full length mirror at the other end of the room. “Look at yourself,” he said softly as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Look how beautiful you are.”
You couldn’t help but grin as Matt continued to compliment you. Matt turned you around so he could look you in your eyes, an amused look on his face. “You’re just fishing for compliments aren’t you,” he laughed.
You didn’t even need to answer. He knew the answer. Matt took your hand and kissed it, before pulling you against him. You blushed as he left several kisses on your lips. “My pretty girl,” he mumbled.
“Stop,” you giggled, loving the attention.
Matt left a trail of kisses down your neck to your collar bone before making his way back to your lips. “M’sorry I’ve been gone so much.”
“That’s okay baby,” you replied, as Matt took a step back.
“Is this a new fit?” he asked, looking you up and down. “I don’t think I’ve seen this one before.”
You nodded, happy that he noticed. “I got it today. What do you think?”
Matt smiled as he had you spin around. “Damn,” he said, pulling you in for another kiss. “Didn’t think you could get more beautiful.”
“Matt,” you replied, blushing.
“I’m serious,” Matt told you. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
Matt ran his hands down your body, lowering himself to his knees as he left a new trail of kisses down your chest to your lower stomach. “Oh my gosh Matthew,” you laughed as your boyfriend looked up at you.
“Attention seeking or not, you need to know how amazing you are,” Matt told you as you pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I never want you to think otherwise.”
“I love you,” you said as Matt stood back up.
Matt smiled as he pulled you in for a hug.
Taglist
@dirtylittleheart333 @sturniolo04 @yourenogoodforme @flouvela @mattyblover07 @sturnioloveniamh @slutforsturniolos @ivysturnss @ksturnz
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.
Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.
The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔
#I don’t know if it’s the case of people who hate curly and think he should’ve just killed Jimmy won’t accept anything else#but I really am trying to get the idea that they were stuck for over a year in space together on a ship barely kept together with wildly#different and conflicting personalities who also got more hostile because they know they are going home to unemployment#it sounds heartless to say and he should have prioritized her more but in his head that’s not the only thing he has to manage and he has to#fit the necessary actions to take in his head with all that including his perception of them as a friend vs as a boss#idk I just don’t believe Curly was comforting Jimmy with the intent of helping him get rid of Anya. he wanted to help both of them he went#about it horribly like the game is literally about realizing how misguided you can be and that responsibility#and how to be responsible look different even if there are better options like it’s just weird just block my ass dawg#also I think the argument of how could the situation be worse if he stopped Jimmy is stupid cause it’s under the guise that Curly would#assume someone he trusted would just try and commit murder suicide or he’d get degloved and all his crew directly#or indirectly killed by that friend like sorry if that’s a reach statement like adding#your supplementary thoughts is how analysis is born but adding facts about events we don’t know happened and treating them like character#truths is lame is a cop out from actually engaging with parts of the story that adds grey areas to characters you wants to see in black#this is just a stupid like thing to me but it makes me sad cause I don’t even hate seeing depictions of Curly as more aware and#accommodating to Jimmy purposely but I need you to understand he thought he was doing the right thing for both his friends and his closest#friend but the key point is he thought he was doing right for both of them like what game were we both watching???#mouthwashing#like just block me pls like Anya would not share ur mindset or hold ur hand like do more than just pity her if you like her so much
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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okay what i have to say is lowkey embarrassing but i wanna bitch and it’s probably only embarrassing to me bc im shy about this stuff anyways the moral of the story is i wanna bitch and u should probably just ignore me. god bless
#honestly halfway through the wedding i did see this guy i thought was rlly cute#like. REALLY cute (so fucking embarrassing)#but i’m too shy to talk to hot people and i’ve never approached anyone before and no one’s ever approached me so i don’t know what to do#idk how to talk to people to begin with let alone like. try to flirt or something#but as the night went on (this is so embarrassing) for some reason i literally couldn’t stop looking at him (kill me)#and he probably definitely noticed me looking at him so he probably thinks im some like. crazy creep or something#but like usually when i see someone attractive im just like oh wow and admire them from afar#but i COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT HIM! WHY! and for some reason i felt like i just really wanted to talk to him#but i didn’t know what to do! i just felt this urge to go try and start a conversation but i just. i couldn’t#and every time i thought i would work up the courage either my sister or my grandmother would come back and hover over me#and i didn’t wanna be like ‘sorry gotta go i need to go embarrass myself in front of this cute guy’#OR he would get up and start taking pictures again. it’s like he knew#he wasn’t even the official photographer he was just one of the guests who clearly wanted to take photos of his friends wedding. which like#is so endearing to me. he has HOBBIES. WOW. (kill me)#idk j can’t even put everything into words i just feel like screaming into a pillow AAAAAAUGHHH#i felt like i was in hs again there was a point i even excused myself to step outside just because he was out there#but he was talking to some old lady. so i was just sitting outside in the grass moping#i feel so stupid i dunno. why am i so worked up about this. i had a few opportunities to approach him and i didnt. because im an idiot#i feel like i’m down so bad which is so STUPID because i don’t even know his name and ill never see him again in my life#so it doesn’t even matter! and every time im like oh oh well it was just random infatuation clearly it wasn’t meant to be#but then i just get upset and all blushy cause he was SO CUTE! and i wanna know more about him! why!#i haven’t felt like this in FOREVER i just feel so stupid for even feeling this way#i know ill be fine in a few days or something but im just like. i wish i could have at least spoken to him once#sigh. idk what’s wrong with me#maybe he’s already dating someone anyways all the cute people seem to already be in relationships#except ME im the only one left. who am I supposed to date!!#i want to jump out the window#snow.txt
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I’m honestly bewildered, how does a family that’s progressive and accepting of other people, with multiple trans and gay friends I remember meeting as a kid, result in 3 out of 3 of their kids feel uncomfortable coming out to them or honestly wishing they hadn’t. Like what the hell even.
#just saw a tweet from one of my brothers and idk what specifically he was talking about and won’t make assumptions directly#but what the fuck even#how do you fumble that badly#I’m still so fucking pissed at the YEARS of aphobia from my parents and especially my mom#Jesus I think I’m aro too honestly and I’m strongly avoiding that topic in my mind cause I know she’d flip out if she ever knew#she still tells people I’m fucking bi#like great she stopped the aphobia but she’s still not like- ugh I don’t know#not like my dad would ever comment on the asexuality anyway so I guess they’re doing the same thing#can’t comment on what pen’s going through but I know it’s not particularly fun either#and no idea what Kendall’s going through but apparently there’s something there#well some ideas but I’m not just gonna assume anything
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The hypocritical dichotomy of “I have the right to separate myself from those who have hurt me, I hold no obligation to them or to the connections we once had” and “I will hold the people who have hurt me personally accountable for the pain they have caused me and prioritize myself above their feelings” is the kind of thing that makes me want to tear my hair out and start biting people
#this is about ‘going no contact’ with family members in case you couldn’t tell#i understand that the terrible things tend to float to the surface of the internet#and garner the most attention therefore getting the most upvotes and likes and highest priority on the youtube algorithm#but every time i read or hear a story about someone cutting their parents out of their life#i literally don’t know how to respond#like on the one hand yes its importnat to keep yourself safe#and if you are in an unsafe situation you should 100% remove yourself#but don’t act like you’re not also causing damage#if you’re upset with your parent/s for causing you damage by prioritizing their feelings/needs/wants/etc over yours#then doing the same thing to them isn’t actually fixing anything#and while it does carry with it a kind of poetic justice#you are in a lot of ways continuing an unhealthy behavior pattern that’s only taken on a new face#idk man#i just#do you ever lie awake at night considering your inherent hypocrisy?#do you ever wonder what kind of impact this is going to have on not only your personal future but that of those around you?#my mom still talks to her horrendous siblings and while I genuinely wouldn’t blame her for stopping because htey’re actively harmful#I also can get behind the personal honor and maintaining your own values in keeping up connections because you value the person#even when they continue to hurt you in order to feel better about themselves#actively saying ‘you are more important to me than the hurt that you continue to cause me’ takes a lot of guts#and i know if my siblibngs and i became their targets then things would change#but the fact that she’s willing to continue to take it from them as they continue to target her?#infintely admirable imo
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I’m suppose to paint but my moral is so low right now…
#i Need to do it today cause I forced my dad to go buy the thing so I could do it yesterday (but I slept 5h I was afraid of making mistake)#but I didn’t so I need to do it today cause it will take more than a day and I seriously need to find a job#my health is on line two now I need to go for my eyes and that cost money money that I don’t have at all#i feel like my body is dropping me like how can it be possible to have so many problems at the same time ?????#like they are all pretty minor I’m not gonna d*e but it still really annoying especially when you wanna live your life#but you don’t have force to do it#Sowon also needs food again and I’m not sure if my parents can help me again… I’m loosing my mind#also my brother feeling depress and I feel like my dad cares so much about it more than mine ????#maybe he dosen’t realise it or maybe I don’t show it as much so that would be on me#but without having end up in the hospital I feel like I’m at pretty much the same level as him 😐#except that I force myself to enjoy what I love so I don’t end up worst than I am which he stopped doing#there’s already a gigantic favouritism on my dad side with my brother so maybe I’m just crazy and scared my dad end up feeling the same way#maybe it’s just being scared of it and not the reality idk but it’s messing with my brain so bad I’m tired#but also I can’t even tell my dad one of the biggest reason I got depressed in the first place but at this point he would tell me to get#over it I’m pretty sure 🙄#anyway I’m gonna go paint I guess#wish me luck for everything it seriously need to stop 😭#alex.txt#tw negative#tw negativity
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coming to terms with the fact that i probably actually am addicted to my computer. to video games and gay little tv shows and music. i always hear stuff about how people with ADHD get addicted to stuff easier than neurotypicals and im like haha good thing i don’t drink or use drugs otherwise that could be a problem!! and then turn around and play Tomb Raider from 4am to 10am and miss rehearsal the next day because i decided to take a nap to “rest my eyes” and fell unconscious for 7 hours
#it’s the dopamine#and idk how to stop it or what to do about it cause i don’t want to stop!#i like my hobbies but they’re interfereing with the rest of my life and my well-being#and i’m a little scared but i don’t want to admit that to anyone irl#not even my girlfriend who’s been nothing but supportive#just#idk man#i’m not okay#dopamine#dopamine addiction#rant#adhd#depression
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i literally don’t understand what it’s like to be boring. like sorry i guess i’m just built different. imagine possessing the ability to say no. imagine not being incredibly, deeply, maladpatively impulsive. i always attract people who i love but are just like sorta loser adjacent as in they never are up to do Crazy Random Shit (and all of them CLAIM it’s because someone needs to be ‘responsible’ out of us but like i am an older brother and very intelligent i’m just impulsive while i’m smart💔) and always whine at ME for doing things that AREN’T EVEN THAT CRAZY! like sorryyy that my life is interesting and i can’t Not Do Things. sorry that i am not someone who worries in a way that stops him from doing anything. maybe i just befriend too many people with anxiety disorders but that’s not even it cause you can have an anxiety disorder and still Not Be Boring. like being boring is a state of mind. just stop it. sometimes it’s easier to say yes so like why are you even saying no
#‘i can’t be bothered’ BE BOTHERED.#and then when they act like IM somehow worse for it like no??? sorry that ur boring and wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t for me??#i’ll like do ONE tiny slightly unhinged thing like. idk! smoke a random cigarette from an ash tray#or like talk a lot about jumping over train tracks#or attempt to climb over a barbed wire fence into one of those electrical thingys because there’s a whole pretty grassy area#or like eat muffins off the ground cause i wanted to see what they were like#or miss my stop 3 times in a row and completely change the plan of where i was going to#and suddenly it’s all like. ohhhh you’re so irresponsible i need to keep an eye on you#like. girl. you realise i do this shit alone too and i am always completely fine#newsflash but i know how to use bus systems i know how to get home from places i wouldn’t actually kill myself on train tracks or barbed#wire and ingesting some weird toxin is not going to immediately kill me#i didn’t even ask u to do it with me i just saw a fun opportunity and toon it. DONT#be a spoilsport. don’t judge💔#like u think this is me crazy?#ohhh u haven’t even seen me crazy. trust i can be a LOT more crazy#oliver talks#need more friends who match my energy fr
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#so i was in the lounge during my break and the housekeeper and me were just talking#and she was like where you from? i said i’m haitian#she’s like what??#you don’t look haitian#i smiled and opened my mouth and she quickly said i shouldn’t have said that i’m sorry#i know you were probably about to say what does a haitian look like#and i just started laughing cause she is absolutely correct 😭#she was like idk it’s just because you’re pretty and i gave her this look like girl !? and she was like i’m sorry i need to stop being#ignorant#you can tell she didn’t mean it like That though so i just smiled and told her it’s completely okay#i liked how she self assessed thiugg#though#more ppl should do what she does#cause y’all be sounding ignorant as heck
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okay. i am going to continue being stupid. and lowkey embarrassing. and a big stupid fucking idiot. i don’t know what’s wrong w me just ignore me forever okay? okay <3
#why why why why why why why why#i don’t even know what to say anymore my brain is going one thousand miles per hour and it’s all STUPID !!!!#why am i lowkey 24 years old a grown ass adult with literally the stupidest circumstantial crush rn#i don’t even wanna admit that’s what it is cause like. girl. why am i the worlds biggest idiot#i want to bash my head into a wall i don’t even know his name! i never spoke to the man! i know nothing! about him!!#im usually rlly good about not letting myself get all worked up over ppl i find attractive#but for some reason this feels out of my control. i’m trying to just like. get over it. but my brain just won’t stop being so FUCKING#stupid and it’s SO embarrassing!!#what i’m about to say is especially embarrassing to admit but like. idk what to do idk why this happening#i keep catching myself like. daydreaming abt what it would be like 2 hold his hand or give him a hug#i just wanna wrap my arms around his neck and feel his hands on my waist and i dont!! know where this is coming from!!!!!!!!#i wish i could spray my brain with a water bottle every time this happens because frankly this is just getting ridiculous#we are not gonna marry the man! we never spoke to him! we’re never going to see him again for the rest of our lives okay!!#get it together dumbass. so we saw a beautiful boy at a wedding reception and became enamored with his mannerisms so what who cares#it doesn’t matter u know! so what if it was attractive how he sat with his leg propped up while he looked at his camera#or how u caught him buttoning and unbuttoning his little jacket over and over. or the way he leaned against the wall to watch the crowd#or his stupid dumb cute lil smile or how the few times you accidentally made eye contact w him ur heart went all pap pap and shit#it was just a fleeting moment! who gives a shit!! get over it!!#god. it’s especially embarrassing cause i’m here obsessed w the man still desperately wishing i could talk to him and idk learn everything#about him. and i know damn well to him i was just some creepy girl who wouldn’t stop staring at him. he probably thinks im like. plotting#his death or something. i’m not. but i should probably plot my own if i don’t get over this soon#idk idk idk i literally don’t know why this is happening!#we’ve seen hot ppl before why is this different! god!!!!!!!#i haven’t felt this way abt someone in such a long time#and it’s just frustrating knowing just how stupid i am sitting here like this#cause i know he doesn’t care. he doesn’t know me. and that’s fine! idk why my brain is doing this!#whats wrong w me genuinely. i can’t control what’s happening is so fucking weird#i truly feel like im going insane i can’t make sense of why this is happening to me#stupid stupid stupid stupid SO embarrassing idk idk#snow.txt
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well might get in trouble at work for instigating shit with the admins but also this form was anonymous so i’m fully planning on being like “someone posted what?! omg. let’s see where this goes.”
#shhh sharkie#unless they like. fully trace my IP which is illegal#they gave us a form to ask questions anonymously so I asked my questions!!#is there the possibility of getting in trouble? maybe.#have I already been strategizing about how to unionize? also maybe.#i straight up asked ‘if making things more equitable for other staff would mean admin takes a paycut would they actually do it’#and asked why are we hiring so many fucking consultants all the time#cause that’s literally money you’re taking out of our mouths#idk i’m just mad and salty and i want to punch our president in the face#if i thought it would make him see any reason#i’m constantly wanting to just shake authority figures like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU#i don’t get it at all how do you reach that point#where people stop being People to you#i literally can’t imagine feeling that way.#how do you walk away each day knowing you get paid a million dollars every year to just exist#and live with the knowledge that the people who give you a job#the people who work with the guests and animals and trash and life support and so much more#are splitting instant ramen for lunch to make ends meet#and that your staff retention rate is so low cause people are literally losing money to work here#i’m just so fucking angry about it all the time#and if given the opportunity i don’t doubt I would ream out the president to his face
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[Image ID - Tags that read, "#i'm so curious as to what the hypothesis was lol #i probably would have guessed youngest sibs would like him most #but as an oldest sib who loves him the result also makes a lot of sense". /End ID]
I really thought the "everyone loves/respects my older brother-figure more than me" would resonate with younger siblings more tbh, but I guess it does make sense for older siblings to relate to "your SIBLING doesn't cause trouble"/is the favorite and/or to see their own younger sibling in him lol
#not a quote#jiang cheng#mdzs#ik there's more to him than Being WWX's Brother or whatever but that part always stuck out to me no matter what ver. I read/watched tbh#I'm a younger sibling who likes him & I always related to the way he was overlooked. by the characters AND THE READER#*readers#& my opinions about him have evolved over time#but I still think it's fascinating how wwx (who I'm also incredibly fond of) is largely sympathized with for trying to do what's right...#...but losing what matters in the end but some ppl even forget that JC & JYL are siblings (only same#*(only some. I think it's pretty rare) bc they're so focused on wwx's perspective#& like. there's very little sympathy at all for him losing his family clan home & reputation bc 'WWX was doing what he thought was best'#which I agree with. I do think he did everything the Right Way & I probably wouldn’t have done anything differently or done any better#but it doesn't change the fact that damage was caused & that's an important theme in the story#& JC brings up the damage he caused multiple times in the story itself#he's why the reader has to think about the consequences of Doing the Right Thing#sorry I've rambled about this before but once it starts it doesn't Stop.#jc makes me claw at my enclosure for some reason when I don’t even like him as a character any more than any other character idk why 🤷♂️#(also ik wwx & jc aren't technically brothers & a lot of ppl don't interpret them that way but I can’t NOT compare them to siblings)#reblog#image described#pro jiang cheng#<-for blocking
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.
wc. idk around 1 to 2k
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.
“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.
you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.
now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.
you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.
hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.
“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.
he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.
though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.
“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.
you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.
he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.
you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.
you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.
you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.
“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”
you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.
and yet. . .
“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.
sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.
“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.
you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.
“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.
sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.
his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”
your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.
you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.
“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.
“spit it out.”
there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.
sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.
you stop your thoughts for a moment.
“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”
your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.
“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.
he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.
that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.
“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.
“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.
the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”
you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.
“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”
you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.
your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.
“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.
when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.
“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”
he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.
“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.
he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;
“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”
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WEEEOOOWEEEOOOWEEEOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR SHOW RECORDING WATCH PARTY ON SUNDAY WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO SEE THE 💨 AND 🗿 PPL IVE BEEN GHOSTING AHHHH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD FUCK
#I don’t even know how I feel about either of them or what I want to do I’m completely confused I feel like I have to make a firm decision#but idk what I want to do if I want to talk to them again if I want to lie about why I stopped talking if I want to cause awkward drama#with them oh god I want to throw uppppppppppppppppppp#I have therapy on Wednesday but like it’s the first time talking to her in person so it’s gonna be background history stuff not me springin#my random drama on her#like wahhhhhhhhh idk what to dooooooooooooiooooooooooooooiooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭#💨#🗿#🎭
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