#if you’re upset with your parent/s for causing you damage by prioritizing their feelings/needs/wants/etc over yours | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rickktish · 11 months ago

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The hypocritical dichotomy of “I have the right to separate myself from those who have hurt me, I hold no obligation to them or to the connections we once had” and “I will hold the people who have hurt me personally accountable for the pain they have caused me and prioritize myself above their feelings” is the kind of thing that makes me want to tear my hair out and start biting people

#this is about ‘going no contact’ with family members in case you couldn’t tell #i understand that the terrible things tend to float to the surface of the internet #and garner the most attention therefore getting the most upvotes and likes and highest priority on the youtube algorithm #but every time i read or hear a story about someone cutting their parents out of their life #i literally don’t know how to respond #like on the one hand yes its importnat to keep yourself safe #and if you are in an unsafe situation you should 100% remove yourself #but don’t act like you’re not also causing damage #if you’re upset with your parent/s for causing you damage by prioritizing their feelings/needs/wants/etc over yours #then doing the same thing to them isn’t actually fixing anything #and while it does carry with it a kind of poetic justice #you are in a lot of ways continuing an unhealthy behavior pattern that’s only taken on a new face #idk man #i just #do you ever lie awake at night considering your inherent hypocrisy?#do you ever wonder what kind of impact this is going to have on not only your personal future but that of those around you?#my mom still talks to her horrendous siblings and while I genuinely wouldn’t blame her for stopping because htey’re actively harmful #I also can get behind the personal honor and maintaining your own values in keeping up connections because you value the person #even when they continue to hurt you in order to feel better about themselves #actively saying ‘you are more important to me than the hurt that you continue to cause me’ takes a lot of guts #and i know if my siblibngs and i became their targets then things would change #but the fact that she’s willing to continue to take it from them as they continue to target her?#infintely admirable imo

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