#and idk how much of it is due to quarantine

[technicolorxsn]

amputee sabitsuki my beloved<3333

[tiredfuxkingboy]

i never told anyone about this, i just want to vent, sorry for the spelling mistakes cuz english isn't my first language..

can someone tell me what they think about this please?? idk

when i turned 13, my older sister started to cut herself. We were on quarantine, 2021, so we were home all day everyday.

so, in 2021 she started to cut herself, and she made me know it. I always saw the cuts in her legs because her shorts were too short or things like that..

She used to put her razon inside her phone case, and sometimes i threw to the trash other razors she had, trying to make her stop or something, but then she would go to me and look at me badly and complain to me without saying what it was but telling me things like "you did it" or things like that.

That year i started cutting myself too, I really wanted to die. The second or third time I did it with a cutter that I found somewhere. When I came out of the bathroom after cutting myself, my older sister said "welcome" to me smiling, like making fun of me or i don't know.. it was so surreal. I guess she saw that the cutter wasn't where it always was, so she assumed i was cutting myself and she was right. But I don't understand why she would tell me that, I would never do something like that, especially if I had a younger sibling, , it just doesn't makes sense

One time she took a new cutter from a box somewhere in my house, she put it in his pocket and started telling me that she was going to swallow one of the razors of the cutter, that she was going to kill herself with the other, and I don't know what else, she said that to me jokingly as if it was funny. it was so horrible.. one time she called me to bring her a shampoo upstairs and when i opened the door she grabbed the shampoo from my hand with her uncovered arm full of cuts. Showing them to me.. then she closed the door and i went downstairs to cry and whatever. So much more things like that happened.

That whole year I tried to have the courage to tell my parents that my older sister was self-harming, but I never could, I never had the courage. All year I saw how she went into the bathroom for a long time, cutting herself, and then she came out looking depressed. I almost always knew when she cut herself and i couldn't do anything, i didn't know what to do, i literally couldn't do anything, i didn't know how to do it. How to help, nothing. I wanted to do something and i never could.

That year i tried to kill myself many times, and none of them worked. Other mental problems appeared that year, such as DID and others, and I had hallucinations almost every day. i used to cry every day, i cried when I woke up because I didn't want to live, i used to overdose with pills a lot, i felt anxious every day without stopping for a single second. Also in 2022, less than a year later, I couldn't remember when it had happened or how much time it happened, everything had been blocked due to the trauma and it was so horrible. To this day I still have those problems

My older sister stopped cutting herself at the end of 2021 because my mom found out she self-harmed, so she had to stop. When my mom found of she was doing that, she made everyone worry about her and told me that we had to help her, but she never cared about me in the same way, but whatever

I'm really happy that she stopped cutting herself, but I still can't stop self-harming and I'm covered with scars over both my arms and legs, scars way much worse than the only ones my older sister has. and no one cares to make me stop, everyone knows and it's like no one cares.

But whatever, I hate myself too much for this and I will never forgive myself for what i did. I hate myself so much and I hate my 13 year old self so much for being so fucking stupid and useless, i can't get this out of my head

[fiercefauna]

Wellness Check, this is the 10th image I produced for my Afflicted Lands, Plague Core world building project. Perhaps, a mile stone. IDK, the others are lower in the thread, but part of my intention with these is that their accompanying page-length tales don’t have to be read in order, or in their entirety. In fact, I jump around on the time line, all in effort to increase focus on the individual experiences of the characters and their many dark secrets. Triggers, horror, weird fiction safe for work.

That said, here is my latest iteration - You Can Call Them Beautiful

“I don’t think I can abide other people right now.” I said to the one person I could abide, a person who probably shouldn’t have been as happy as a raven, considering the times. It almost made me envious. Erin turned to face me, her tone accusatory. “Are the lichenids people to you? Be honest.” I laughed, “What if I said no?” Her mouth was hidden behind the long nostrils of her velvety, protective snout, but her eyes smiled. “Then I’d ask if you could abide them.”

“Just how many are we talking about?” “Only one, maybe two, not sure, they’re all rather shy.” She took the lead as we crossed the empty parking lot of a repurposed shopping mall where our fellow crow-suited quarantine envoy sipped stimulants while starring at walls, and continued across fields of turf grasses turned to clawed and corralous weeds by plant-affecting strains of endemic miasma. The fields were patchy and therefore navigable due to leather jackets feasting unseen, spawning crane flies that floated fairy-like through the evening air. 

Our lights became necessary within the gutted buildings, mall additions left unfinished by the calamity. I saw a green luminescence scale a wall and near feinted. “Fran-cis, you said you’d seen these before.” “I’ve seen them in pictures!” I barked, recalling that lichenids didn’t like loud, harsh sounds. “I wasn’t warned about the crawling-up-walls, or the speed of it.” “They don’t like moving too much, so when they do move, they like to get it over with. At least that’s what Ampersand says.” “Ampersand?” Her light revealed a graffito of the shorthand symbol, below it, was a plastic ice chest, streaked with mildew. 

I opened the chest and perused the books and papers therein, nothing about who Ampersand was before the calamity, just drawings and amateurish writings on fictional universes. “So no identification, no medical records, no deeds to property, only this? You’d think they would have at least signed their work, so we could have a name.” “Their name - ” my companion cast a quick glance toward the rustlings behind us. “is Ampersand.” 

The feathery whisper of crane flies butting against our heads and faces became too much, and we rested the fuel, and batteries of our lights. In the darkness blue-green bead strings, hanging from the porous faces of afflicted perched within the skeletal rafters above, became visible and a beacon to the pests. The quantity of trapped prey intensified the glow, as the strings became garlands of legs and wings. Photosynthetic crests on the elongated necks of the crouching creatures became traced by additional luciferin as absorbed calories allowed, and I saw three, and four-fingered hand prints dimly from well trodden vertical paths. 

Erin softly breathed. “You can call them beautiful, it helps. Maybe not with everyone but these appreciate it more than you’d know. Also, you’re beautiful. Sure, beauty is subjective but you’ll do better not to berate yourself every time a smile tugs at the corners of that funny little mouth I know is under there. Is it solidarity with the lost, or having not properly earned it? It’s one thing to consider an action but a thought? When a thought floats by just take it in, let it nourish.” 

It felt awkward standing there, dining with Erin’s friends. They on crepuscular insects and I on metaphors.

(Excerpt from the compiled histories of Francis Ziegler.) 

[yanderes-galore]

Hi! Idk if you're still taking request's but if you're doing it can I ask one about a yandere romantic halo more specifically master chief and the inquisitor (separetly or together like a rivalry youre choice) with a reader immune to the flood, (maybe she was a experiment when she was a child and escaped or just happend to be a discovery) how both covenant and humanity would view her and what they want to do with her and what her yandere would be capable to do for her... It's ok if you ignore it btw I love you're writing 🌸

I never actually knew Thel had another name depending on the country :0 Here's some short ideas about this concept, they aren't OVERLY yandere but I tried with what I was given. Hope you enjoy this! Darling is human.

Yandere Master Chief + The Arbiter with Darling immune to The Flood

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Human experimentation, Violence mentioned, Kidnapping, Isolation, Subtle yandere themes, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Master Chief/John-117

Finding out someone has an immunity to Flood spores is a great development.

Master Chief may have found you by accident, amongst a Flood infection he finds a lone human.

One no doubt traumatized due to what she's seen.

Taking you in he gets you checked out by professionals in a quarantined area.

Only to find out there's no spores in you at all.

You're an anomaly, the only known case of a human or any creature being immune to The Flood.

Even AI are corrupted by the sentient pestilence.

John no doubt sees you as valuable and useful.

Although it uneases him when scientists and doctors wish to do tests on your blood and flesh.

John may be the only one you can turn to.

He saved you... he even asks about you often.

It's strange to every other human to see the Master Chief so upset over a civilian.

Yet John cares for you, to a degree even he doesn't fully understand due to him unable to comprehend romance all that much.

He just feels like he has to protect you...

Not only are you a key to fending off The Flood, but John would hate to have you affected anymore than this.

Your mental state is already failing, while John is mostly numb to this kind of thing...

Part of him finds some pity for you due to him caring about you.

Eventually when tests are done on you and samples are taken, you're sent somewhere safe to watch your mental state.

John begins to show overprotective behavior around you.

Cortana even expresses interest/concern when John keeps asking to check on you.

Cortana even senses John's hostility towards those who work on you.

John may not see you often... but he is an important figure in your life now.

He may not know how to show affection, but he allows you to hug him.

In fact... soon he gets used to the sudden display of affection.

John has a very basic view of love.

Nothing overly intimate... he just knows he has an extreme amount of care towards you.

Your immunity can help many....

Cortana has to bring rational thought back to John at times, the Spartan always thinking about you.

John doesn't plan on letting anyone hurt you... no matter what it takes...

No humans, no Covenant, and especially not The Flood...

The Arbiter/Thel 'Vadam

This is an interesting case as we're talking about Halo 2/3 Arbiter.

Thel doesn't expect to find anyone immune to the parasite.

Even the Forerunners were not immune.

So when he hears rumors of the humans having someone who has immunity... he's skeptical.

Yet when he does find you and takes you in as essentially a hostage... he notices it.

He sees there's no sign of infection, that even when fellow Sangheili convert... Infection Forms seems to be unable to touch you.

It fascinates Thel, making him want to know more.

Let's say for this it's somewhat during the Great Schism.

Thel originally wants to tell The Prophets about you.

But as he travels with you... he begins to worry about what they'll do to you.

You're immune to The Flood... but you're human.

They could easily disect you and try to make a cure out of you.

Thel dreads the thought, ironic since he and his group are holding you hostage.

Despite such a situation... Thel still treats you with decent respect.

You may be human... but you are an important asset due to your immunity.

Thel takes time to get to know you and keeps you hidden.

Other Sangheili question his intentions, but Thel simply says you can be useful.

Thel is also overly protective of you, similar to Chief.

Eventually, when he trusts you enough and learns of The Prophet's lies, he may even be possessive towards you.

Thel hasn't had thoughts like this towards anyone, let alone a human.

He definitely apologizes for taking you hostage... but he hopes now when he teams with Chief you can be allies at the very least.

Thel and Chief understand that you are important for both of their species to survive.

So you must be protected.

Perhaps Thel even keeps contact with you during Halo 3's events.

Many human researchers look after you, Thel knows that's for the best.

Yet he often visits you, despite what human doctors and scientists say.

He makes sure you aren't hurt and even gets a bit irritated if you are away for too long.

It takes so much effort to separate him from you.

Thel takes time to come to terms with his obsession.

He isn't sure how to deal with romantic feelings towards a human.

But he adapts... and vows to protect you with his life.

Regardless on if you'll see him the same or not.

Perhaps even showing signs of courting, keeping a close eye on you all the time.

He's lost many men in battle... especially to The Flood... but you're special in many ways to him...

He refuses to lose you to anything, his most precious partner (and possible mate).

[stupidlittlespirit]

hey, I just read freaks of a feather and I'm in love. you're such a good writer and it left me wondering all sorts of things about you and the way you write. how long have you been writing? are you a planner or a pantser? do you have like a ritual for writing or do you just go with the flow? if you do have a process, how is it? do you prefer writing dialogue or description? (love asking this question).

sorry for the stupid amount of questions, I just love knowing more about how my favorite writers write. keep up the good work! (also, i'm counting down the days for the new ford fic you've been writing)

Ohh thank you so much!!!!! They’re not stupid at all, I love talking to you guys! ❤️

I started writing when I was 19, ironically enough for Ford! I stopped for a long time and then picked it up again in quarantine, took another break and came back to write for Reigen/MP100. It kept me company and was a creative outlet for a lot of complex emotions due to trauma.

I used to write terribly but I worked on a huuuuge Reigen fic that I never published and I really think it helped me improve and examine my style more. I also wrote a LOT for Reigen so that helped too.

I have ideas kind of come to me in prophetic visions daydreams if that makes sense? They look like movies in my mind’s eye and I suppose I just describe them. And then I divide it into chapters in my head and plot it out in a document. Sometimes the plot is very detailed when I plan it but other times I just throw it all out in one go on the page and go back to tidy it up etc.

Often times I have what I guess you’d call a ‘clip show’ document of things I might use later as part of a big fic and those help me sew things together. Oftentimes it’s dialogue.

In terms of rituals, I listen to music the whole time I write. It’ll suit the mood, so for horror scenes it’s (at the moment) the evil dead ost, Alien:Romulus, stuff like that. For romance, it’s always Piero Piccioni lol. If you ever want them, I can share my playlists.

I swing wildly between description and dialogue preferences because I love writing feelings, like how the reader feels about the character, or how the character looks to me. I really enjoy trying to be a bit poetic about my feelings because they’re very intense and physical to me if that makes sense? Idk if it works but it feels nice.

Buuuuut I also fucking love writing banter or romantic dialogue. It’s so much fun and I play back and forth with people irl all the time, it’s my job to flirt with customers as a sex worker, so I can hear the conversations in my head. Customers can be dry as dust sometimes (often) though, so when I write for someone, I love making them capable of that because it’s kind of cathartic for me. I get flirted with the way I’d find most attractive irl.

And thank you, I’m looking forward to finishing the fucking fic bc it’s so long that I’m dying 😭 I have a lot on this week but I’m chipping away at it so hopefully it’ll be done soonish :)

Thank you for the support!!!!! ❤️

[moonsfavoritedaughter]

Hi! Can you tell me about your PFP character? I see her around a lot, but I lve never really watched the videos.

oooohhh, care if i tell you the whole story? no? tysm!!!

okay so her full name is ashley graves, shes 20 years old, and well...

she used to live with her parents and her older brother, andrew graves, 2 years older, but this bitch, apart from being absolutly beutiful, is an obssesive, manipulative son of a motherfucker, cuz she forces her brother into doing things that her brother doesnt want to do, and then blames him for those things to make him feel guilty and put him closer to her, just to keep all his love to herself, she has made him kill a childhood girl named nina only cuz ashley found out that she liked andrew (also, in this time, when they are kids, they arent named andrew and ashley, but andy and leyley, cuz idk lil kid nicknames) they also buried the body terribly wrong and their parents found out that they killed that girl, putting us in the present where shes now stuck in an apartment cuz the water suply got contaminated with parasites and now theyre infected and quarantined, for some reason due to their blood type being AB they no longer get fed by the wardens, making them feel angry and wanted to leave, between all the things they did to get out of the apartment is: they saw how theyre neighbor summoned a demon and sacrificed himself by accident cuz he didnt have no soul to offer, ate the neighbor (cannibalism, yes, one of the qualities that made this game popular), also manually killed a warden with a cleaver, killed another warden undirectly by sacrificing him to the same demon, killed a woman from downstairs, and escaped.

gotta make sure you understand that these are not things that only ashley did, killing the warden manually and killing the neighbor from downstairs was andrews making, but only to protect ashley and himself, the rest of it ashley did it, and andrew took participation too, then when they left, they went to live to a far department, got chased by a hitman, killed the hitman, discovered a whole cult of satanists, learned a thing or two about them, also, forgot to mention that ashley stole a gun from one of the wardens, so they killed the hitman using that gun, then they stole a car and went to their parents house, also forgot to mention that when ashley sacrificed one of the wardens to the demon she got a lil trinket as a reward that would allow her to see visions of the future, which she used to avoid being killed by the hitman.

then when they were at their parents house, they stole all of their mothers money, discovered that their parents had sold their organs but failed, somehow, they still got the death certificates, then ashley and andrew just sacrificed their own parents to the same demon to recharge the trinket to be able to have more visons of the future, which one of em was about both siblings having sex (incest, the one thing that made this game popular in the first place) and then they left to get rid of their parents corpses in diferent ways, they also did human soup with their parents insides cuz why not (more cannibalism) and then they threw their bones and skulls into the ocean, the end, for now, im still waiting for chapter 3 to see how much sibling love and incest is there gonna be, and yeah theres a quite bunch more than to what i meantioned, but what you need to know the most about this girl is:

she is a relentless, selfish, narcisist, obsesive, manipulative, and horrible murder sister that doenst feel empathy for no one and deserves to suffer the most horrendous tortures of the medieval eras.

AND SHE GAVE ME A MASSIVE ATTACK OF GENDER DYSPHORIA, I WANNA HAVE HER BODY, NAME, AND PERSONALITY SO BAAAD 😭😭😭😭

[asherlockstudy]

I've been stalking this account recently after a long pause in watching any randl content and going back in a binge. And i just have to say you truly do make a point on the overwhelming uncomfortable silence that follows anytime the do/ talk about something too "risky". Especially since they encourage the crew to laugh at anything they find funny.

Yep. It feels like the crew catch their breaths for a second there to check how the situation will unfold. There were cases in which they have laughed but it is usually a momentary freezing. Even Stevie. I'm dying to know how much the crew knows. Because at this point there is simply no case they don't know but at the same time I consider it insane for RandL to have let all 100 people of the crew know and yet this still being such a well kept secret. It just can't be. IDK this really baffles me. Perhaps only a certain few know, and those are assigned to gaslight the suspicions of interns and newer crew members...? I just don't know. But people like Stevie, Chase, Kaylin, Jenna, Trevor, Jordan (from Sporked) seem to know...

By the way, something I have never mentioned but always kept in the back of my mind; y'all remember a super important crew member... freaking Ellie? Her last or close to last episode was a quarantine GMM which was about how people can date safely during the pandemic. This episode is the most notorious for Rhett's meltdown due to his bad need to meet with Link...in the same physical space. In this episode Rhett also comes off as pretty sexually frustrated (which doesn't make sense since he still was at home with his wife lol) and Link is angry at him, both for pulling a gross prank on him and for appearing to be only interested in sex. They are kinda at odds with each other in this episode. Ellie is in the middle and as they go on and on with each other, you can see Ellie be a bit like "oooh ok". After that, Ellie was no more. I don't know if they bid her farewell in some format I missed, but there was no proper goodbye in GMM like it happened with equally big GMM members like Jen Matichuk and Alex Punch... Me thinks... her departure wasn't as rosy... and perhaps it was associated to the trainwreck of an episode this was. Ellie was known to be bold sometimes, I wonder if she confronted them openly with the truth or something... I mean, It's wild theorizing based on nearly nothing but I always found this so strange...

[no-soliloquy]

please please please i’m not burning out im not burning out. i cant do this anymore i don’t know how anything fucking works idk what the fuck i wanna do in college i don’t know how to write my college essay these past 3-4weeks have been so stressful and just fucking bad i averaged like 3:30mins a night i had so much last minute homework i was supposed to be doing i got my wisdom teeth removed then i got sick,, i don’t have my common app set up i don’t have things set up i just don’t. i have no motivation for anything anymore literally the only thing that has been making me happy recently is looking at fucking art bro. my parents are both busy and depressed and can’t help me im so lost. i should have already gotten a job sophomore year but it’s senior year now and with the pace of my classes and how i am mentally rn idk how i can handle a job + all this put together. i hate it why did i have to be forced into 1+1/2 years of isolation why did my pandemic quarantine experience have to be 8x more isolating and overworking then average due to the bullshit my parents wanted me to go through during that time period. i never got to go thru certain developmental and key milestones during my early teens to prepare me and now i feel so depressed. i don’t know how to feel happy besides temporary bursts and i don’t know plan accordingly for most things and not procrastinate im so so scared. i just want things to be alright.

[tododeku-or-bust]

Quarantine Baby: (noun) A baby that was conceived during the 2020 quarantine. Aka Corona Baby. Due to very low activity out of the house and very high activity in the house, sociologists have projected a large baby boom between October 2020 through April 2021.

There u go! Thx😆😆

That's so funny 🤣 okay so I'm gonna be real: i actually avoid Corona and quarantine fics like the plague (HA!) i just do not find them fun or romantic bc my essential worker scientist ass was outside every day. Idk how y'all were functioning stuck at home, I'd have lost my mind. I do miss the emptier streets though; much much less traffic.

One thing i have heard about quarantine babies (that i think would definitely apply to Phi as an infant) is that they're much more vocal. It's probably from actually being around their people more. But she's definitely gonna babble and mimic a lot more, and talk sooner. Screaming her poor head off at nights that keep her fathers awake (and there is no "going out" to catch a break 😭)

She's not keeping that mask on properly as a 3 year old 😭 but they're going to buy her plenty of colorful, fun ones and teach her EXACTLY how to wear them, "post" pandemic. She tries to trade them in class with her friends, the exact opposite of its purpose.

Extra: if she was a little kid, say 8 or so instead a baby, she'd be on Zoom with Kairos and they'd be trying to do homework, but every five minutes or so they're going to be like "look at this cat video!" Or "i found a cool new bug today!" And it's gonna take HOURS 🤣 (courtesy of a HC with @fuzzycatbelly )

[floraleevee]

As I finish up at this job I’m realizing just how much I’m going to miss my favorite rabbit. He’s the specialist little man. My darling baby boi. And technically I could adopt him…

I don’t really want a rabbit, but I do want this rabbit. And I really really want to get him out of the lab. He technically was the control for one of the experimental rabbits that passed due to complications, and I’m worried they’ll euthanize him for tissue collection to compare. And he really is the perfect rabbit to be someone’s pet. These past 6+ months have been my first time not having an animal, and it’s definitely been lonelier/an adjustment. But it’s also freeing in that I know I don’t ever have to worry about feeding/water. I can sleep over at a friend’s, I can be a slut, I can go on a last minute vacation without any coordinating. It really is such a relief. And there’s no financial strain. Plus, idk if I’ll even be in the states in a year. Do I want that burden of taking an animal through quarantine? Do I want a pet while living in a studio apartment?

There are so many variables that’re making me think it wouldn’t be a good idea, but if they put down this rabbit I’ll straight up cry and probably go into a depressive episode. Having another life that depends on me really got me through my depressive bout some 10ish years ago. Maybe I’m someone that needs an emotional support animal for the rest of my life. I really don’t know. But when olaf died so suddenly I went into an even deeper depression than I’ve ever been in. I’m still struggling with it almost 3 years later. Idk. This was supposed to be me writing out my thoughts to clear my mind, but it hasn’t helped this time around.

[gomagopowerrangers]

THIS WILL BE UPDATED AS I UPDATE IT shhhhh there r no errors here (slash sillay)

copy+pasting this from google docs bc i can :3

Labyrinth Archives (copied from discord): the Labyrinth Archives r were Zone lived before everything. w a crew, Zone's parents, and robots. it was a huge ship of various files and books sent WAY out into space to keep safe from the war (i know v little about Halo so forgive me if its Incorrect). it was made more for storage than actual fighting. he was able to get school/education n stuff thanks to recordings and crew/parent helping but he never officially graduated. 

problems occurred (still workin on that part. pest invasion possibly? maybe the Flood idk rn) and they eventually began to run out of food. Zone (13) was the youngest at the time and more food/rations were saved bc of that. eventually it was just him and the robots left before PFL found the ship after a few months

13

-everybody on the Archives fucking died except him. Stuck in deep space with corpses for months is not fun. abandonment issues start here. the robots in the archives quarantined the starved bodies without telling Zone who lived off of the food that was quickly going down

-found by PFL who gave him an ultimatum: join the program, or go back to the Archives. 

-regular meetings with the Counselor studying how a young teen would handle the training and missions. these meetings would later become less and less

-training with Maine/one of the freelancers that was bigger than him (obvs not Tex but hes affected by her later). testing resilience and agility while fighting a bigger and more powerful opponent

-anger issues stem from being held back for certain missions that he was fully capable of completing

-more tba

14

-does not show his face for fear of judgment then shunning. he was doubted in the Archives and prior, he doesnt want it to happen again. some kind of anxiety develops

-1.5 years in as a freelancer. gets burned on the right side and is forced to show that he is young for this job. everything ends up being alright tho

-is able to get the final pieces of figuring out how bad PFL is and goes to CT (see relationship doc)

-more tba

15

-Tex shows up. Zone looks up to her but is weary because of York’s injury. 

-Maine loses his voice. Zone gets somewhat clingy and is scared to lose Maine. he relaxes after Maine makes a full recovery and manages to develop a (somewhat) language through growls. he does NOT like Sigma that much, however

-spars with Tex and gets two broken arms

-a mission goes wrong and Zone almost drowns. thalassophobia starts to develop 

-more tba

16

-CT defects without him knowing. abandonment issues rise here. he was on a mission with another freelancer at the time and didnt know until a day after he got back

-put under surveillance and questioned about CT and her defection. is unable to go to the Shipyards (insurrectionist!Zone AU splits here. I!Zone goes to shipyards)

-CT dies. Zone essentially shuts down and stays near Maine (mainly. o lmao theres a pun there. woag), York, and South like hes afraid theyll die too, but doesnt speak to them. he avoids Tex at all cost and hates Carolina

-watched Maine throw Carolina off that cliff and begins to travel with the Meta to find Tex

-earns the name “the Wraith” (see info doc) during this

-stops aging due to him attacking Wyoming and the Temporal Distortion malfunctioning

-attacked a freelancer who knocked his helmet off and gave him that scar on his left cheek among others. was able to kill them (state name unknown for now)

-Maine dies and he jumps in after him. hypothermia gotten+thalassophobia gets worse (other details to be added)

Chorus. mainly Felix. fuckin rat

another category for Restoration because OH BOY! i havent seen it yet SOOOOOO

develops

-C-PTSD

-anxiety

-abandonment issues

-trust issues

-anger issues

-slight paranoia

-insanity

-fear of getting close to people again (dont know if there is/the name. shit it might just be trust issues)

-thalassophobia (fear of large bodies of water) 

this is ALL without rps btw. he gets more issues there :3

[clair0se]

Hello! It is me again! Wow! You are trans! Wahoo! How did you figure it out? Gender is very confusing. I don't get it. (I recently found the song "Gender Is Boring" by "She/Her/Hers" and the second verse sort of encapsulates some of it if that makes sense.) You are HRTing! You have HRTed! You are now an HRTer! Woooooo! Also! Your HRTday and my birthday would be on similar dates! Yip!

uh, i figured it out through a lot of thinking and putting that girl (myself) into situations. i'm big on like, analysis of media and what not, so i'd do the aforementioned situation-ing, and then decide what it meant to me. like, shaving body hair. i liked it, even so when i considered myself a guy (but also my legs are wayy to fucking sensitive for that shit lol). i like, changed the way that i would talk (as in, speech patterns, not changing the pitch yet). grew my hair out (quarantine was helpful here lol). ya just, idk, fucked around and found out. and once i had doing that for a while, i sat on my thoughts for about another year making up my mind. and Then i sat on the made up mind for a year to be certain i was dialed in onto what i was before coming out to anyone but the closest of friends. and ya know, still not 100% dialed in. which i think is a good thing. because, even though it's hard for me to rember, it's important to not close my mind. so like, i am fairly confident i have the Basis down. but i've been thinking of dropping the e at the end of my name and being clair cuz it's slightly less fem. and i think i'm slightly less fem. like, the goal is toeing the line of androgyny, but from the Other side. yk?

and speaking of music, i apologize but i will likely not listen to that song in a time relevant to reading this ask. i, don't believe in streaming services. period. (except for me watching breaking bad with my sibling but that's a bonding activity and literally no one is perfect). and so i listen to all my music on cds. and that makes me slow to pick up new bands. but i Do do it. so probably some day i will listen to she/her/hers and hear that song 👍💥

and wow! it also lands close to my birthday lmao (but ironically, a little bit before. it was, an arbitrary time that happened to be close to my birthday rather than me, waiting until my birthday happened to be Able to do hrt by my own accord. that was due to the, previously mentioned, sitting on thoughts and feelings and brains). and, in extra funny fashion, my birthday is 9/11. surely nothing else in history has happened on that date.

also, can i ask you questions? (she asks rhetorically like, 2 (run on) sentences before she does end up asking questions.) i genuinely don't care that you're choosing to remain anonymous cuz like, what ever floats your boat 👍 and i also don't care that the platform for this conversation happens to be my blog. literally other than the sounds post, it's pretty much crickets and tumble weeds over here and if people don't want to have long ass text posts answering anon's on their dash, i am at peace having less followers lmfao. also, no pressure if you don't wanna answer a question. you can ignore any or all of them and i will be none the care-er. but uh, yeah, i'm really curious if you play celeste? cuz though i Talk about among us a lot more, celeste is the game that i actually Play. and honestly, that was the only question for now 💥 i need to eeeeeep. if you wanted to, you could tell me what time zone you're in. time zones make me happy. (i literally don't care where you live i Promise and if you don't wanna answer what like, slice of the world you live in i TOTALLY get it. just thought i'd throw it out there). ok,

[pentition]

Just a Pen positive little thing for irl stuff. I used to be really into fitness and sports but due to depression, Covid quarantine and chronic illness I kind of let go and gained a lot of weight in the last 3 years, which is not bad on it's own but since I've had artritis since I was 12 the extra weight and reduced muscle tissue is a big problem and causes pain on the daily.

But for some reason big dummy Pen is making me excited to work out again. I'm starting with 10 push-ups, 10 sit-ups and a 30 minute run with my youngest dog once a day but maybe I'll be capable to get back on my old level some day. Which was insane looking back. I used to do 50 to 60 sit and push ups each morning and do 3 30 min to 1 hour runs a day and around 30 sit a push ups before bed if I felt like it. I don't know where the fuck I got the energy to do that at the time but I'm going to aim high and see where it goes. :)

I think we all took a hit with Covid but I totally get what you mean. I have some extreme depression since I was very young, which is why I tend to run slow with things. I used to just Forest Gump it and run until I just didn't feel like it, because running made me feel something different even if it was never anything specific. Arthritis and chronic body pain stuff was always relevant in my life but idk, some cases of depression just outweigh the pain or discomfort I've learned. Between all the things in the last few years with Covid, depression, and pain I can feel for your position. I'm sorry you've been experiencing that

but I am so happy you've found motivation that excites you!! That's fucking cool. Any amount of effort is good. Time and being kind to yourself as you progress is always important. You got this, dude. I think that's a good starting goal to do for a workout. I bet you'll glide back into it in no time. The body usually remembers, even if it still takes effort to circle back to how you were or get close to it again. Being motivated and excited makes a huge difference, I've learned. Treating it like a job, like an obligation usually makes me want to rebel when it comes to working out. It comes so much easier when you just want to do it.

Good job, friend. You'll get there, you've already taken the biggest step. Kick ass out there!! You'll always have a cheering squad right here on this blog if you ever need it. <3

[jeweledstone]

I posted 4,545 times in 2022

550 posts created (12%)

3,995 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@maxxicab

@kittyking445

@cablestwisted

@hoodieimp

@funnytwittertweets

I tagged 2,556 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#my mcfreakin queue - 669 posts

#deltarune - 550 posts

#not my art - 531 posts

#spamton - 492 posts

#my art - 472 posts

#oc - 204 posts

#ocs - 204 posts

#video - 196 posts

#pokemon - 130 posts

#ask - 124 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Been meaning to post about this dream for a while since I had it but kept forgetting to.

So, in the dream, a computer virus was somehow able to spread to humans. When a human was infected, they would slowly be physically and mentally turned into Spamton from Deltarune (go f//cking figure, brain). Another major problem was that the virus was extremely contagious, especially during the later stages.

I ended up getting infected (again, go F//CKING figure!) and my grandma on my father’s side chose to hide me in an abandoned chicken coop in order to keep the government from finding me. (They were currently forcefully quarantining infected people in labs where they experimented on them in search for a cure) They ended up finding me anyway when police came to arrest my grandma for trespassing and ended up discovering my hiding place.

I ended up being taken to this research facility where they were actually pretty lax about housing me, mostly cause I was still in the early stages of infection and less likely to infect others or lash out/try to escape. There was this one scientist however, who wasn’t as chill. In fact he was kinda infamous at the facility due to how harshly he treated infected subjects. In his eyes, the infected patients were “no longer human anymore” and he would lock them in cramped cages like dogs in a kennel, only letting them out to experiment on them. I remember him forcing me into his “care” cause he thought the other doctors and scientists weren’t taking my condition seriously. I ended up being put in a cage next to this one girl who was in the later stages of infection named Abigail (of course, she was too far gone mentally to even recognize that as her name anymore).

As far as the rest of the dream, not much else interesting happened. I ended up being transferred outta the mean scientists care and getting my condition cured by the new doctor. But other than that, nothing worth noting.

So yeah, that’s it. Might make a drawing or two based off this dream later (Maybe after I’m done with that animation I’m working on) idk

32 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#4

WHO’S THIS MAN?

WHO IS HE???

39 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#3

Some fan art for a Kirby-themed analog horror series I’ve been following on yt that has a very interesting concept imo

40 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

#2

Been wanting to draw one of @cupcakeshakesnake ‘s Addisons cause I really enjoy thier design. Just finally got around to doing it :)

56 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Did you know that in Minecraft, slimes’ spawn rate changes depending on the phase of the moon? And that they spawn the most when the moon is full? You know what else tends to come out a lot on full moons? Werewolves baby!

So yeah, Steve turning into a wereslime. Someone else probably did something like this before, but whatever. :)

177 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hobisexually]

x

[hannanodaa]

Just some babbles about YouTube drama I’ve been watching cause quarantine has me looking at weird stuff lately lol