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souliebird · 6 months ago

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[[and then I met you || ch. 21]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

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Words: 4k

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“Ahhhh.”

You open your mouth wide so Doctor Minnie can shine her flashlight down your throat. She hums and haws as she peers in, looking for who knows what, and when she concludes her search, she scribbles on your chart. Your chart is a piece of notebook paper with a wonderfully drawn crayon portrait in the corner, your name carefully written out across the top, and timestamps with detailed notes of each check up you have received today. These notes include squiggles that could be interpreted as cursive and the letters a, m, and q repeated over and over.

“You needs to drink more water and puts the towel on your ear,” your daughter tells you seriously. It is the same treatment you have gotten all morning, so you are well prepared for it.

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Minnie gives you a big smile, then whirls around to bark orders, “Nurse! We needs more water! Please, thank you!”

Matt is on the other side of the coffee table, sitting cross legged as he manipulates pipe cleaners around popsicle sticks. He and Minnie have been working on an art project for the better part of the morning - between your hourly check ups. He got his own checkup this morning and earned a band-aid on his cheek, but your daughter has been obsessed with making sure you are okay.

You are in no way complaining over her dotting - you more than understand this is how she is coping with what happened and you are more than happy to receive fake shots and orders to stay sitting on the couch. Whatever makes her feel safe and happy.

You know her father feels the same way.

He raises himself into standing, the smallest smile forming on his lips as he falls into his role, “Yes, Doctor. How many ccs?”

Minnie rubs her chin in thought, and you have to bite your lip so you won’t start laughing. She’s been so intense playing doctor, and you don’t want to discourage her. You are worried any teasing might upset her and that is the last thing you want to do at the moment, especially given the circumstances.

She finally decides on a number and declares, “Six!”

“Six ccs of water coming right up,” Matt tells her. He plucks your still half-full water bottle from the coffee table and starts towards the kitchen. Mouse watches him go, squinting her little eyes like she’s either judging him or trying to remember something.

Apparently, it is the latter, as she gasps, then calls after him, “And appy juice!”

Matt gives a dramatic gasp and turns to face the both of you, “And appy juice? Are you sure, Doctor?”

Minnie giggles, clearly amused by her Daddy’s antics. There’s a difference between teasing and playing along, and Matt is king at being Mouse’s partner in crime. You’ve seen a different side of your daughter come out when she’s around him - a little bolder and more sure of herself - and you want nothing more than to encourage that.

“It’s for me!” Your little one says between her laughs and that makes Matt smile brighter.

“Ah, a drink after a hard day's work. Six ccs of water for Mommy and one appy juice for the Doctor.”

“What do you say, Mouse?”

“Thank you, Nurse!”

As Matt gets your drinks together, you help Minnie out of her Doctor’s coat and you fuss with folding it as she starts to put her check-up toys back into their bag. She must be getting tired if she is asking for her juice, but she looks completely alert and like she could keep playing for another hour or so before slowing down. She woke up at her normal time this morning, but at some point in the night she wound up in your bed. You don’t blame her at all for that.

You’ve been on your own roller coaster of emotions this morning.

You woke up in a cold sweat - memories of being strangled flying through your mind - and the only thing that had been able to calm you was Matt’s arm around you. It helped to keep you grounded - remind you that you weren’t alone and that you were safe.

(“I love you.”)

No one can touch you or your baby if he is there and it isn’t some hindbrain ‘man protect woman’ nonsense.

Matt is a superhero in the most literal sense.

He has powers and an armored suit and fights bad guys.

It is hard to wrap your mind around and you have so many questions, but you both agreed to wait until Minnie took her nap to talk. This isn’t a conversation you can have over her head.

Minnie finishes picking up her toys just as Matt returns from his task. He lets her climb up onto the couch and settle against your side before handing over her juice. Your water gets placed on the table and you thank him before turning your eyes to your daughter.

“What do you want to watch, sweetie?”

“Penguins,” she answers, right before starting to nurse her juice. You found a video about the life of penguins that is toddler friendly a few days prior and it is quickly becoming a favorite. The documentary is a nice change from the cartoons that usually make up your television time and you are fine to watch it for the upteenth time.

Matt takes his place on Minnie’s other side, practically squishing her between you, and the three of you begin to quietly learn about the flightless tuxedo wearing birds. The video is a little less than thirty minutes long and by the time it is wrapping up, Mouse’s chin is on her chest, and she is snoring. In a silent agreement, you let Matt take care of putting her into bed for her nap. Though he has done it a few times now, he still cherishes the moment in a way you no longer do.

Your heart beats a little harder when Matt and Minnie disappear down the hallway. Your stomach swirls with anxiety over the talk you know is coming - though in a strange way you are not scared. You trust Matt to tell you the truth, but you are not sure you want to learn those truths. Doors you never even knew existed are opening to you and part of you wants to stay naive to the ongoings around you, but you know you can’t do that.

This is part of Matt’s world, and if he wants to be in Minnie’s, you need to know everything about it.

As you wait for Matt to return, you close your eyes and try to take a few deep breaths. It does nothing to calm your heart or mind, but it gives you something to focus on. You do not want to work yourself up by overthinking - that would just make things worse for everyone. So you count to five between inhales and exhales until you hear the door to the bedroom close.

(“I love you.”)

It feels like you stop breathing until the cushion beside you dips.

Your anxiety is flaring - your throat feels so tight and there is so much pressure on your chest. You know there isn’t a reason for your body to be reacting like this, but you don’t know how to stop it. You feel like you are trapped under your own worries, and you can’t escape.

“You’re terrified,” Matt says in a dull voice from beside you and you have to pry your eyes open to look at him. He looks so resigned and neutral, and your heart manages to pang for him between being crushed.

You don’t know what he could possibly be going through - you are finally alone with him, and your mind has decided you need to have an anxiety attack. Does he think you think he’ll hurt you or something just as ridiculous?

You may have only known Matt for a short time, but you trust him. He hasn’t done anything to break that trust and he has shown you he cares. He sat with you in the hospital and stayed with you after until he knew you were okay to be on your own.

He’s gone out of his way for you on so many occasions.

He’s made you feel safe.

Wanted.

Loved.

(“I love you.”)

Your mind is spinning and panicking and everything is so intense, but your mouth, as always, decides to work without permission.

“Will you hold me?”

The words shock you. You’ve never asked anyone to hold you - you generally don’t like to be touched - but when Matt’s arms are around you, the world seems a little more stable.

Matt seems just as taken aback as you are over the request. It takes him a moment to act, but then he chokes out, “Of course,” and opens his arms to you.

You turn towards each other, you bringing one leg up to tuck under yourself, and slot together. Your arms go around his middle and you press your face into his neck, while one of his hands goes to your hair to hold you in place and the other starts rubbing up and down your spine.

The relief is almost instant.

You release a long shaky breath and nuzzle yourself closer to him. He smells like your body wash and coffee, and he feels so solid against you. You feel like a shield has wrapped around you and nothing can get to you - not the all the day to day things you worry about like bills and messages you need to respond to nor all the evil things that lurk in the shadows.

For once in your life, you feel like you're not alone.

“I’ve got you,” Matt breathes into your ear and you believe him.

“You’ve got me,” you repeat into his shoulder. You can hear how watery your voice sounds and you tell yourself you won’t cry.

(“I love you.”)

You fall into a brief silence - you need a moment to recenter yourself and Matt seems to realize that. You feel him press a kiss to the side of your head as he continues to pet you and you have no idea why that helps to soothe your nerves. You let your eyes fall shut and focus on only him.

Once you don’t feel like you’ll get choked up if you start talking, you ask, “Is it okay if we talk like this?”

“Perfectly fine with me,” he whispers against you and you decide to just dive into it.

“You’re Daredevil.”

“I am,” he confirms.

“Will you tell me about it? From the start?”

You feel Matt take a deep breath and to offer him some sort of comfort, you curl your fingers into his shirt, holding onto him a little bit tighter.

“After I lost my dad and went to St. Agnes, they didn’t know how to deal with me. I didn’t have control over my senses, and I was angry at everything. I still don’t know how, but they found a man, Stick, to come help me - to teach me how to be Blind. He taught me more than that. He focused my senses, showed me I had control over them and how I could use them. And he taught me how to fight.” Matt’s words are steady and firm, but you can feel his heart pounding against you.

You absorb the words, a frown forming on your lips, “he taught you to fight? As a child?”

He sighs against you, then nods, “Yes. Stick believed there was a war coming between the Hand and the Chaste and they needed soldiers for the Chaste. I’ll…I can tell you more about that later.”

“Okay.” You want to know more about whatever the Hand and the Chaste are, but you can tell that is an entirely different conversation. One you aren’t quite ready for, yet.

“Stick taught me how to fight and how to use my senses to my advantage. He taught me how to channel my anger. My…my grandmother used to tell me the Devil was in the Murdock boys. And it’s true. I have the Devil in me - all my anger and rage. Stick taught me control. Then he left and I was angry he left, but I kept up my training. I didn’t need to enroll in martial arts classes to be able to learn - I could do it from blocks away. The boxing ring my Dad used to train at let me come in and use the mats and bags and I just kept at it.”

“Were you able to practice with people?” You ask. You know learning things in theory is way different than learning for practicality and fighting doesn’t seem like something you can just know in theory if you are a superhero.

Matt chuckles into your hair, “I got into a lot of fights in the schoolyard. I didn’t put up with bullies and no one wanted to admit I kicked their ass, so I never really got in trouble.”

With what you know of Matt and his personality and sense of justice, that makes perfect sense to you, and you say as much. He kisses your hair again before continuing on.

“When I reached college, I could…understand all the things I was hearing. All of the crime. I did everything I could - legally. I called the cops, I made reports, but more often than not, nothing ever happened. It made me angry - so angry - but my dad never wanted me to fight with my fists. He wanted me to use my head, do things the right way - so I tried. I really tried. For years. Then Foggy and I decided to start our own firm, to help the people in Hell’s Kitchen, really help them, and I couldn’t anymore. I couldn’t listen to the cries of kids being abused by their parents and people getting mugged and my city, the city I love, being poisoned. So, I let the Devil out.”

“And became Daredevil?”

“I did not choose that name,” Matt huffs, “But yes.”

You don’t remember much from when Daredevil first started appearing on the news - you were pregnant the first time you saw him, but you couldn’t pinpoint it. You have no idea what he was doing then.

So, you ask.

“How? How did you let the Devil out?”

Matt doesn’t answer you right away. He noses at your hair and traces his fingers up and down your spine and you have the feeling he’s thinking over his answer.

“I went after all the people poisoning my city. Not just the muggers and abusers. The drug and weapons dealers. The corrupt. There was a man named Fisk who was trying to take over the city, turn it into something it isn’t.”

“I know that name,” you say against him, “I read about it. There were…two cases? Legal ones.”

“Yeah. It was…complicated. It is complicated. We went against him as Nelson and Murdock and I went against him as Daredevil. He’s in prison now and he’ll be staying there,” Matt tells you and you have the feeling you will have to have a whole different discussion about Fisk in the future.

“But what about now? You are still out there fighting.”

“The city still needs protecting.”

It does, you know it does. Your attack is proof of that. You don’t want to think about it and the hands around your throat, so you press your face more into Matt’s neck and force yourself to fast-forward through the memory to something relevant to your current talk.

“You work with other…superheroes?” You ask. “Like Frank?”

“Frank isn’t a superhero and neither am I,” Matt scoffs, “But yes..I’m…learning to work with others. It’s not something I’m used to yet.”

“Tell me about them.”

He hums against you, then starts slowly, “You met Frank. He’s…we don’t get along. We have very different philosophies about how things should work, but he’s a good man. I’d rather be with him than against him and…I trust him to protect the people I care about. He’d fight tooth and nail for Karen - he has, and if I had to choose someone, besides myself, to protect you and Minnie, it would be him.”

Again, you believe Matt. From what you have seen of Frank, and not the Punisher, you think that trust is well earned. If Matt trusts him, you think you should too.

“And there’s Jessica. She is a private investigator and….very strong. Luke is also strong and..uh..bulletproof. He’s dating Claire, who you also met, she’s a nurse who got wrapped up in everything and helps when we get injured. And then Danny and Colleen. They are…” he trails off, like he’s unsure how to describe them and you do not push. You can’t imagine having to describe superheroes.

“What about Foggy and Karen?”

Matt shakes his head, “I try to not involve them in Daredevil things, but it ends up overlapping. They want to help, but I want them to be safe.” He pauses and you can feel him swallow, like he’s nervous. “I tell them everything, though. I used to think I had to keep my lives separate - one as Matt Murdock and one as Daredevil. I’ve tried to live as only Matt and I’ve tried to live as only Daredevil, but neither worked. I’m still finding the balance of living as both, and they help me. They give me rules to follow, make sure the plans I come up with are sound and that all options are considered. That is what I want with you. I want to be open. I want to be able to tell you everything and not keep secrets. I have seen what that does to people in my life and I don’t want that with you.”

You take in his words and let them mull over in your mind.

You can’t ask Matt to stop being Daredevil - you know you can’t. You heard what he said about why he needed to be Daredevil, and you understand that. He can’t sit by and do nothing, and by what he is telling you, he’s trying to be smart about it. He works with people to protect the city - to protect you. Yes, it scares you about all the risks he is taking and how they will translate into your life, but ultimately, the decision is his. If he wanted to keep you in the dark about everything, it would be a different story, but he doesn’t seem to want that. That makes it easier to accept and process - having as many pieces of the puzzle as you can helps you see the whole picture.

You shift slightly in his arms, tucking yourself even closer to him, and ask, “What are you working on now? With Frank?”

Again, he doesn’t answer right away. You let him think over his words as you process. Your anxiety has definitely decreased - you feel like you can breathe and that things are going to be manageable. You can speak with Foggy and Karen and get their perspective on things and it can help you come up with a game plan.

Having a plan is step one in everything being okay.

(“I love you.”)

“Jess, Frank, and I are…,” Matt starts slowly, “trying to help some street kids. They live in the sewers and don't trust the System or cops, but a few of them have gone missing and one has been killed, and they are scared. There's been guys in suits lurking near one of their hang outs and they don't appear in any government database, so we've been trying to track them down.”

Horror runs through you at his words. Someone has been hurting kids? Minnie’s face flashes through your mind and you press yourself closer to Matt.

“Street kids?”

“Mostly teens,” Matt amends. “I gave them information about St. Agnes but I more than get why they don't trust it. The System is horrible. The sewers are the only place they feel safe.” You feel him lick his lips again, then to your surprise, his voice changes from serious to almost fond. “They have a tent city. They let us come down there and bring supplies last week. Blankets and food and stuff. Frank got them a cellphone, so they'll be able to contact us if anything happens.”

Your mind spins at the idea of a bunch of kids living in the sewers. You knew it happened - New York is full of homeless people - but you never thought about it before. Guilt plagues you and you can't help but ask, “Can we help in other ways?”

Matt shakes his head, “Not in the ways you are thinking. We're going to find these guys and put a stop to whatever they are doing and right now that's the best we can do for them. They don't want to come up to the surface and if we try to force them, they'll move and still be in danger. After they know they can trust us and we put a stop to what is happening, we can start the next steps.”

“You'll protect them?” You ask, wanting to hear him say it.

“The kids may be under the streets of Hell's Kitchen, but they are still mine to protect.” His arms tighten around you, and you feel yourself melt against his chest, “And you are mine to protect.”

(“I love you.”)

“How do we protect you?” You ask, wanting to help in some way.

“Like this,” he hums, his fingers tangling into your hair a bit. “By reminding me what I am fighting for. Giving me a reason to live. I’ve been in the depths of Hell, just wanting to give up - give my life over to the Devil and go until my body stopped. I’ve been bloody and broken and alone. I don’t want that again. I want to be here with you. With Minnie. You’re my reason to get back up.”

(“I love you.”)

You press your face flush against his neck, your cheeks heating up at words. “Should I get a better first aid kit? Take CPR classes?”

He chuckles against you, and you feel it vibrate down into his chest, “That wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He pauses then tells you quietly, “Minnie has seen me in my armor, but I’m going to be doing my best to avoid getting injured in a way she can see. I have been working more on my defense - something I never really practiced.”

At the mention of your daughter, you pull back so you can look Matt in the face. Talking where you don’t need to look at his face has been helpful in calming your anxiety, but when it comes to Minnie, you need to look him in his sightless eyes.

“Are you going to train Minnie -”

“No.” Matt cuts you off before you can get the question out. “I’ll teach her how to cartwheel and other fun things, but I will never teach her to fight. I think everyone should take a defensive course to learn to get away, but I don’t want her to punch. I don’t want this anger inside of her. Minnie doesn’t have the Devil in her, and I won’t be the one to put him in her.”

You search his face and know he is telling the truth. You want your daughter to grow up to be a good person, to have as much passion as Matt does about helping the world, but the idea of her suiting up and fighting crime terrifies you. You are glad Matt feels the same way.

“Will you teach me?” You ask after a hesitant moment. “I was pretty abysmal at defending myself.”

He raises his eyebrows at the question, “You want to learn how to defend yourself?”

You shake your head, then lick your lips before dropping your voice just a touch, “I want to protect the people I care about, too.”

Matt tugs you forward gently until your foreheads are touching. You close your eyes again and let yourself start to smile.

“I’ll teach you whatever you want to learn.”

(“I love you.”)

a/n: we're over 100k words :')

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#soulie writes #fanfiction #daredevil #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #and then i met you

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dragonwysper · 10 days ago

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Just finished Mouthwashing, after hearing all sorts of snippets of fandom drama about it. I'd stayed away from all that because I didn't have the context, but now I do! So I'm blasting you all with my thoughts.

Long post. Be prepared. Spoilers for Mouthwashing and CW for in-depth discussion of SA below.

So the biggest aspect of the drama side of the fandom that I've been seeing is how the game handled Anya's rape. Some people think it was devastating and properly showed the awfulness of Jimmy, and feel Anya's trauma was portrayed accurately and handled well. Others think Anya was somewhat one-dimensional; she was given a stereotypically female-specific trauma to match the different pain/traumas of the other crew members, and feel the subject wasn't given enough weight and respect.

After having played the game (while also going into it with the knowledge and expectation that it would be about SA), I can see both sides. Though I think my thoughts on everything come from some core details.

Firstly, the core theme of the game is not SA. It's karma. Jimmy is a terrible person who doesn't care about the pain he inflicts on others, as long as he gains something from it. The game follows him as he destroys the people around him, and treats them like fodder to fuel his own goals. We see all of this catch up to him in the end, and he's sortof divinely punished, or overcome with guilt, or whatever it is, because of it. Each person's harm is unique and everybody has their own micro-themes, but the core theme of the game is overwhelmingly karma.

Essentially, this is not a game about SA. This is a game about a terrible person getting what's coming to him.

Secondly, rape as shock content is a common gripe regarding mostly horror movies. It's a quick and easy way to create motivation, so much so that it's turned into its own subgenre of 'rape and revenge' plots. Think I Spit On Your Grave style movies. The other side of the same coin is objectifying the victim, which creates an exploitative feel. The act of the rape itself, and furthermore the shock of it, is more important than the victim and their feelings and trauma. Rape is detached from the lasting harm it causes, and is more something to justify getting up in arms about something/someone rather than a trauma.

And while we do see some of Anya's trauma from SA, Mouthwashing by and large is not meant to be a commentary on SA specifically. Again, it's about how terrible of a person Jimmy is, which makes the SA, at least in part, a tool to make the player hate him.

Ultimately, if Mouthwashing was changed to where Anya faced a different form of harm from Jimmy, instead of SA, it would still be just about the same game. You could still make a convincing game with karma and bad people getting their comeuppance as the core theme. And that I think is the most important realization to have about the subject.

Anya's SA was the first trauma, and the details of the aftermath are what kickstarted the plot, but it was, intentionally or not, a tool to make you hate Jimmy. Because the game isn't about Anya and her trauma. It's about Jimmy and his karma.

I think Mouthwashing is fascinating, and that theme of karma is not something I see done well very often. I think the style of the plot and all the little details that expound upon the micro-themes of the game are extremely well done. And I think it did handle its themes of SA better than a lot of content that discusses it. But it's not perfect, and it falls short of really digging into the true weight of it. It's not a game that makes any real progress on the portrayal of sexual trauma in media. It's cleaner and less graphic than 'rape and revenge' stories, but it ultimately still relies on exploiting the shock of rape to serve a 'bigger' plot.

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm struggling to properly word what I'm feeling, but hopefully my interpretation of nuance comes through.

#restating again that i really liked mouthwashing and i think it's super creative #it just is not a game about sa #trying to look at it through that lens and deem it exemplary as a game about sa is misguided #anyway #tw sa #mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #long post #i rate this game 7/10 btw #i might make a post in the future discussing my thoughts on the woobification of media by fandoms #because that is also a huge critique by people critical of mouthwashing #but that time is not now #i have no idea how this post will be recieved. but i can only hope i don't get crucified for it

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thlayli-ra · 6 months ago

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For @sparklylap who wanted to see my sketching process. Maybe one day I'll make a properly edited vid with subtitles or a voice-over or something but today is not that day (re. I am incredibly lazy!)

Step 1 - Figure Sketch - this was my second attempt at sketching this pic so it didn't take as long. Here, I sketch the figures themselves (starting from the torso not the head - best advice I've ever been given!) to get an idea of what they're doing

Step 2 - Add Perspective - recently, I've been trying out new angles and it's made my drawings a lot more interesting. I draw a grid and warp the figures to adhere to it

Step 3 - Cleaner sketch - I find it much easier to 'ink' from a cleaner sketch than from a really messy one. You'll also notice that at this stage I begin cheating!!! 😱 Yes, I recently embraced tracing. Usually, I use it to check my proportions, help with parts of anatomy I'm struggling with and for faces. I mean I could spend an hour or two doing studies on Drew McIntyre's face but at the end of the day I just wanna draw him on his knees looking longingly up at an older man with tattoos. Also, he already gave me the most perfect expression! I trust in my skills to interpret it in my own artistic style and make something fresh with it.

Step 4 - Inking - drawing the clean linework is a long arduous process but I love watching the final piece start to take shape. Linework is more important to me than colour so I focus a lot on this stage. I like having blocks of solid black (definitely influenced by my love of comic art) and varying thickness of lines to convey weight and depth.

Step 5 - Admire! - Take pride in what you've done! You've created something! It maybe wasn't what you envisioned exactly but you've gotten something out of your head and onto the paper/tablet/canvas/whatever you use and the more you do it, the more the creativity flows out of you.

#Thlayli-art #art process #art video #punkintyre #wrestling fanart #drewpunk

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adamsvanrhijn · 5 months ago

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I wonder if Thomas is travelling with Guy as his servant and therefore if there is a servant's quarters Thomas would go there. I didn't think about it but someone brought it up in a post. Personally I interpreted the job as a PA type thing.

Is this just in the context of DA3 or like, in general? I'm curious what their reasoning was, because I don't think that makes sense with what we know!

Context + canon refresher since I just saw the movie and it's fresh in my mind...

First of all, "servants' quarters" isn't even a universal concept—especially by this point in the 20th century, especially outside of the UK.

By 1928 and especially by 1930, the vast majority of people do not have servants, let alone live-in servants who travel with them. Domestic workers like cooks and cleaners are likely to not live where they work and to have more than one client. Some services a lady's maid or a valet might have provided, like mending or planning travel or personal shopping, are outsourced; some, like dressing a person, are simply not relevant anymore.

Such that, if you're traveling with your same-sex companion/partner/lover who is not your servant, you don't gain any safety or security by falsely claiming that they are your servant — if anything, you're shooting yourselves in the foot when it comes to being able to interact normally in front of others & inconveniencing your host who probably isn't prepared for this scenario.

When you & your lover already present to strangers as, & are in fact also in, a lateral professional relationship, there isn't really a reason to claim otherwise. Way easier to tell the truth, including that you both have identical accommodation needs. With hosts who don't have all the details, this would most likely look like adjacent rooms, adjoining rooms, a suite or room with multiple beds, etc. Obviously for familiar hosts who do have the details it can be whatever the host & guests would like.

Changing that up just because you happen to visit a rich person who has live-in servants with dedicated servant accommodations doesn't really make sense and is very inconvenient and complicated. In addition to being a bad move where your relationship's longevity is concerned.

Anyway, on top of all that, Guy says out loud on screen that he doesn't even see value in the social role associated with servants when he speaks with Thomas in the butler's pantry:

THOMAS: Suppose someone comes in. What would they say?

GUY: I don't care. I've lived in America for ten years now. I don't believe in that stuff anymore.

We see him demonstrate this with how he treats and speaks to others while he's at Downton. With Thomas specifically, a couple examples of this are, when he insists that he and Thomas address one another as equals, and in an even more revealing way, in their first 1:1 interaction, when he doesn't seem to be thinking about it and speaks to Thomas with more familiarity —light-hearted teasing — than most would find appropriate in context between a guest and a servant, which he seems to then realize after the fact (based at least in part on Thomas's reaction) and immediately explain and apologize for. It's giving season 1 episode 2 Matthew Crawley but way more thoughtful. Some characters could never!!!! 👀

HOWEVER, none of the above context even matters...

...because Guy also says out loud that he expects as part of what he is proposing that Thomas will be comfortable on his own terms with however much involvement or meaning he wants, making the choice to clarify this out loud rather than leave it ambiguous (emphasis mine)—

GUY: Hollywood gets some bad publicity, but I live in a place called Hancock Park, and it's... it's pretty nice.

THOMAS: I can believe it.

GUY: Well, why don't you come and see for yourself?

THOMAS: What.

GUY: I mean it. I travel a lot for my work, and I don't have a wife to look after me, so... [pause] ...you could do it.

THOMAS: I'd be your valet?

GUY: More than that. You'd run the house and organize our journeys, make me comfortable. [beat] Make us both comfortable. ...Of course, if my career folds, then we'd have to think again, but...

THOMAS: Your career won't fold.

and

THOMAS: Tell me, did your offer mean what I think it did?

GUY: It can mean as much or as little as you like.

THOMAS: I'd like it to mean a great deal.

GUY: Then you're in luck.

So like, Thomas being the one responsible for figuring out the travel in the first place and making BOTH of them comfortable... He is the one who gets to make that choice!!

& I personally don't think that's at all what Guy would hope Thomas would choose... or that he [Guy] would let it go undiscussed if he [Thomas] did make that choice. That does not appear to be at all what Guy has in mind. Even if they're keeping things strictly professional, I think his expectation on traveling arrangements would be what I describe above for two professionals traveling together—same exact level of accommodation, near enough for work coordination & collaboration, but they're not stepping on each other's toes and can lock the door on each other if they so wish.

My personal interpretation, supported by Dominic West saying Thomas is Guy's lover in that interview recently, is that Actually when they are traveling together they are simply not going to lock the door on each other though 😌💅🏻 They have their reasons 😌💅🏻

#downton abbey tag #i don't have a tag for them.....#uhhh #thomasguy tag #guythomas tag #we will see which wins #i never have one of them pose as a servant when i write thomas/richard fic where they travel... no reason for that to apply here either!

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bitchymanlet · 1 year ago

Text

Modern Levi Jobs

(Update: sorry this comes off as a little pushy, I was new to the fandom and very Passionate about this subject)

Another Modern AU where Levi has a white collar profession? Hm…

Of course people are free to interpret characters however they like and write whatever they want, but I believe Levi’s poor upbringing and criminal background are intrinsic to the man he is, and by stripping these vital aspects of his character away, he would be a completely different person (unless the point of the au is making him completely different?). For someone with his background, pursuing a higher education would be daunting, and a white collar career path may be near impossible with felony charges. And I just don’t think loads of paperwork, emails, formalities, bureaucracy, and academia are Levi’s forte. Plus, the man can’t stand the pompous bougie crowd.

While being mindful of his impoverished criminal background as well as his canon characterization, here’s a list of jobs I could see him having in the modern day (many of these jobs hire felons or depend on the employer or circumstance. Whether or not Levi has felonies, he must have a criminal record of some sort, and these jobs would be possible with that in mind. Some may be more believable than others, I think it depends on lots of life factors as to which career path he would choose, and that’s the cool thing about AUs—so many possibilities!)

Retail/Service industry:

Store Clerk

Barista

Bartender

Bellboy

Dry Cleaner

Line Cook

Butcher

Barber

Body Piercer

Florist

Personal Trainer

Animal care:

Pet Groomer

Veterinary Assistant

Ranch Hand

Trades/Labor:

Custodian

Maintenance Worker

Warehouse Worker

Electrician

Plumber

Welder

Mechanic

Glass Blower

Potter

Tea Farmer

Fighting:

Kickboxer

MMA Fighter

Martial Artist

Self Defense Instructor

Show biz:

Animal Trainer

Makeup Artist

Actor

Stuntman

Acrobat

Pole Dancer

Crime:

Gangster

Smuggler

Drug Trafficker

Arms Trafficker

Thief

Assassin

Vigilante

Miscellaneous:

Tea Influencer

Shibari Artist (ok hear me out mans is dexterous 👀)

IF he still grew up destitute but managed to not get caught for serious crimes and therefore does NOT have a criminal record or it’s too chickenshit to be a big deal:

Gymnast

Soccer Player

Track Runner

Jockey

Zookeeper

Lifeguard

EMT

Firefighter

Physical Therapist

Chiropractor

Caregiver

Private Investigator

Gunsmith

Social Worker (While I don’t think he’s cut out for an office job, I could see him possibly becoming a social worker due to his understanding for the clients’ plight, his compassion, and his desire to help others.)

*These are my opinion. You can play around with him however you want, I’m not hunting down anybody for how they interpret a fictional character. I’m just sharing ideas that’ll maybe inspire.

And here's a fun little thing regarding him being a tradesman:

“Going over our shortcomings and bitching about our situation is an important ritual.” Don’t tell me that’s not something a union man would say.

#BLUE COLLAR KING #levi ackerman #levi ackerman headcanons #levi headcanons #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #aot modern au #snk modern au #modern au levi #aot thoughts #bitchy writes

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vashtijoy · 2 years ago

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probably a silly question, but i was under the impression that mental shutdowns can either kill or put someone in a coma, while psychotic breaks make the victim abandon all societal norms and whatever inhibitions they had. sort of like. it will make them act like their worst self and desires and intrusive thoughts but it won't kill them. is this wrong? :0 i guess even in my interpretation a psychotic break can make someone act in such a way that will cause them serious body harm or death. but can a psychotic break kill on its own?

You have it right, anon! Definitions again:

psychotic breakdown—more literally something like "mental rampage", this is the result of Akechi using Call of Chaos on someone's shadow. The game implies (with statements like "once the chains on [their] heart are broken") that the things people do during a breakdown are things they can't admit they want to do; the things they repress down into their shadow. These result in "accidents and scandals", and (probably?) won't kill you directly.

mental shutdown—the result of Akechi killing someone's shadow, this is haijinka, more literally "cripple-ization" or "making someone a human wreck" (thanks so much, y'all)—note that 廃人 haijin is derogatory and "should be used with caution".

Here's Japanese Wikipedia (via Google Translate bc I'm both lazy and busy this morning) on haijin:

When people are generally called "haijin", most of them refer to cases in which sociality is significantly impaired compared to healthy people . Because of the particularly strong discriminatory elements, it is used when the mind is destroyed or activity is hindered due to congenital (or acquired) mental disorders, or when normal social activities are difficult.

Note that, while these are two very different things, with very different effects, the localisation typically muddies the water by saying shutdown when it means breakdown, or vice versa. Or by turning "shutdowns and breakdowns" into one or the other. Or by describing something else entirely as a mental shutdown—the cases in that post are breakdowns, but they're a specific subset of breakdown. So when you hear these mentioned in English, think about what they're describing, and which definition it meets. The characters are often validly confused about what's going on, but the terminology is also usually muddled, one way or another.

how fatal are they tho

Using @cincosechzehn's original spreadsheet as an indicator, we see five mental shutdowns in canon, as part of the plot: Wakaba, Kayo, Kobayakawa, Okumura and the SIU Director. Out of these five, the only five we see onscreen, four of them die and one recovers.

Those are bad odds. Those are really bad odds. That's an 80% kill rate. Like, the SIU guy and Okumura may not be in good health, but by their nature mental shutdowns are going to tend to target older people in power. Wakaba and Kobayakawa may just in the wrong place at the wrong time—but that's still 40%; going brain dead in the real world is not safe.

On the upside, the only person we hear about having a mental shutdown and not dying immediately does begin to recover in the medium term. But Sae (a reliable source, unlike the TV news) tells us people "lose consciousness, never to recover"—which likely makes those odds a bit worse.

Based on this, I would be really hesitant about saying "mental shutdowns aren't fatal". 80% fatal is essentially "only not murder because I missed". Additionally, it looks like Shido and the SIU Director may sometimes send the Cleaner in to "clean up", when a shutdown victim doesn't die first time—for instance, he may have been responsible for that truck that hit Kobayakawa. Not sure about this one yet.

what about the psychotic breakdowns?

Again, a psychotic breakdown seems to make you rampage and do something you secretly want to do, but are usually restrained from by little things like morality and not hurting others. They often seem so targetted (Akechi gives X a psychotic breakdown to make them do useful thing Y) that I think there must be an interrogation element—like he talks to the shadow to see what it wants to do, and maybe has to take time to find one that will serve his purpose. For instance, if he wants a flashy subway accident, he can't CoC a random train driver who it turns out just wants to slam on the brakes and jerk off.

So the breakdowns are described as "accidents and scandals", because sometimes they're devastating, but sometimes someone just loses their mind and does something weird. Or they start swinging a knife around on a train.

And here we need to get into intent. Akechi doesn't have a death note, after all. He can't just write down "this guy smashes his train through several stations at top speed, eventually derails it with catastrophic effect, and nobody dies." He sends the driver in knowing the likelihood is that the result will be a lot of dead people.

Because that's what happens. Akechi starts the ball rolling, probably with a rough idea that it will serve the purpose he was assigned, and then he has to let it roll and see where it lands.

This is why almost the first thing that happens in the game is that we get told about a "rampage accident" that is fatal:

(I figured this list really deserved its own post.)

Here's the top item on that list again:

バス暴走死傷事故 basu bousou shishou jiko reckless bus driving accident that caused injuries and deaths

This is a really interesting choice for the top item in the list. It's a case of 暴走運転 bousou unten "reckless driving", sure. But Japanese players are going to get very used to that word bousou, very quickly, in the context of the 精神暴走事件 seishin bousou jiken—the psychotic breakdown cases.

This is an explicit link between the word bousou—Akechi's word that describes his unique signature skill and his effect on others and ultimately his combat style—and a fatal accident. And it's right up at the front of the game, when about all we know about "psychotic breakdowns" is that some girls were talking about them as a spooky occult thing, on the train into Shibuya. Like, they could have chosen almost any of the things on this list to make fatal. But it was this one, and IMO that's important. The subway train derailing may not have been fatal, but the first thing the game wants us to know about psychotic breakdowns is that a. that people are terrified by them, b. that they can be extremely dramatic, and c. that people die from them.

To address your question again, specifically: no, people (probably; see below) don't die just from having a psychotic breakdown. But nobody "just" has a psychotic breakdown. The point is to make them do something—and the thing they do may well be devastating, and cause devastating injuries, up to and including deaths. Or it may just be personally devastating.

but then there are the chats and news stories

There are a lot of in-game rumours about psychotic breakdowns, and a lot of what appears to be misinformation, mainly because the difference between psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns is not clear.

One rumour is that breakdowns lead to mental shutdowns: "those people end up going brain dead", "they become haijin during interrogation". Another is that "you suddenly pass out ... [and] die in a lot of pain". Well, rumours are rumours.

But we also hear that "the news is saying the [train] driver couldn't even speak when they tried asking him questions". Of course, we know the news is controlled... but then we have to ask ourself what else they aren't reporting on.

doesn't akechi give himself psychotic breakdowns

The quick answer here is no. You could maybe argue that he does when the only example we had was the engine room, but in the third semester we get his Showtime, when he uses it repeatedly to put himself into a berserker rage. It looks like it gives him a bit of a headache afterwards, or makes him dizzy.

Call of Chaos just doesn't seem to work the same on Akechi (or, for that matter, on the two ordinary shadows he casts it on) as it does on people's shadows, when it goes "up the chain" and controls them in the real world. The immediate thing I'd point out is that Akechi doesn't drool blood (that I've noticed, at least) and his eyes don't roll back in his head (you can see his irises, albeit tiny and extremely crazy). Akechi can still speak, though he doesn't make much sense. He's not entirely out of control (despite being in, seemingly, a blind killing rage, he never attacks Joker in the Showtime—and there's a plot bunny for anyone who wants to pick it up and run with it.)

He is not experiencing exactly what his victims do—though he's experiencing something very similar: a lifting of his "chains", his inhibitions. It really seems like a true psychotic breakdown may be something that lingers with you, that lasts a long time, that probably leaves you in ruins. I'm not sure we ever hear of anyone who had one and was fine afterwards, though I can't swear to this.

#asks #persona 5 #p5 meta #goro akechi #call of chaos

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holdinbacksecrets · 1 year ago

Text

seventeen: mercy

once again, i’m doing that thing where i don’t assign the blurbs. i enjoy leaving them wide open for interpretation, and idk… i feel like there’s a lot of story going on, and i want to let whoever chooses to read this piece have the freedom to let their minds take over instead of mine choosing for you. happy reading 🖤

comfort, angst, mentioning of parental death, food guilt

♡maybe it’s a little silly. your sister certainly believes it to be, but he’s still wrapped around your heart. and sometimes, you sprinkle reminders throughout your day with an excited kind of guilt that used to accompany you into every ice cream parlor. more sprinkles? good or bad? brownie bites? what would your mom say? you would always look back at her as a child, but that ability is no longer with you- no longer possible in your life as she bleeds from your memories and lingers in plain sight, quietly, through a feeling. a feeling… just like he does. maybe this is the way love will work for you: burn brightly, keep you comforted, and then falter, leaving you to create some kind of warmth on your own until you’ve gained the courage to reach out and tell the man you’re still in love with him

♡parked on a side street in the darkness of a november evening is where you are. his car smells like leather cleaner, cologne, and strawberry juice. your legs are on his lap. your back rests against the passenger door, and you look to him before glancing through the sky window, admiring the stars. you have to leave the city to see them more clearly, but this will always be enough when he’s beside you. there’s some kind of rush that runs through your veins, like a long-lasting wish has come true because the stars finally aligned for you. and now, you sit below them with a thank you in your eyes, hoping your head tilted back and your orbs set on the galaxy above you and far away will mean the sincerity makes it there

♡he knew what this would become. he saw you as a spark, ready to set a flame. you’re terrified to get burned and promised yourself whatever happens will be worth it. it has been, despite your sneaking around and swallowed truths when friends ask what on earth you get up to

♡the windows in your living room bask you in light and warmth. you lay down on the rug and close your eyes, knowing when clouds encounter the sun by the sudden chill, sudden darkness. you sit with your legs crossed and a plate in front of you every day for every meal he isn’t with you. you’ve pushed your dreams out these windows. you’ve let them slip into a current of wind, hoping the act would set yourself free, would make you happier to just be despite all the wanting you can’t outrun because his love isn’t enough to dim the sparkle you crave to be. the sparkle you used to have. the sparkle that’s still fucking easy to find if your audience is familiar. but he missed that time. my god, he still has no idea. the secret is kept, though, and you wish you could unravel it to him. my god, he’d support you. give it a try

♡he took away the fear. he sucked venom from your wound. he changed your life. he brought the peace down for you, from this unreachable place that you tossed it to, thinking it was meant to be hard to find, but he disagrees

♡you set the table. you never do, not when it’s only the two of you, but the holiday season is back and you bought cute dishes and table mats to bring a little chestnuts roasting on an open fire into your apartment. he doesn’t notice when he arrives. he doesn’t join you at the table. his hello is muffled by the missing view of his face as he walks to the bedroom to shower and get changed. he’s going out tonight. he thought he told you. you can still come if you want to

♡stolen serenity is what you used to call this, like you didn’t deserve to feel it and have it and squeeze it tight enough to disappear even though it never does

♡he kisses you in the park. he says he can’t hold it back, hold it in, keep it out of sight, not let it find your mind. there’s a weeping willow just beside you. leaves flutter in the wind, and you’d call it a majestic thing. you don’t realize to him that’s what you are

♡another birthday trickles by. for sixteen hours, you’re too aware of everything. aware of the people missing and the wishes that never came true. aware of the one person who hasn’t yet made it home to you, fully aware that all this frustration and awkwardness will leave as soon as he’s here. happy birthday sounds like heaven when he says it to you. he holds you, and you feel it. he kisses you, and you believe it. with the eight hours that are left, what will you do? of course, it’s all up to you

♡you have no idea how easy it is for him to love you. the time that’s been spent learning you, memorizing you without trying to, and my god does he love the view and the thoughts that settle in your eyes before leaving your lips. because you think everything through before you speak, unless he’s with you. unless your comfortable enough to be unguarded, trusting the sincerity will be felt, trusting the love is so loud and warm and radiating that any mistaken word won’t be sticky, won’t turn the day to a dreary blue

♡it’s impossible to imagine how it used to be. how you’d feel in the morning, waking up in familiar uncertainty. but this relationship stained your life in sweet, mundane luxury, and you’re working on being present, so why look to the past when the gray has become green? when the present is a never-ending october and a cup of tea that never cools, keeps refilling for you

♡he’s looking for something. for answers to unasked question. apparently, you’re intimidating. apparently, you’re quite interesting and laughably easy to love. your roommate can’t watch it any longer and tells you to give him something. unknowns surround you in a lavender haze. she tells you to pull a few out, but take the answers straight to him. he’ll love the gesture. and you, you had no idea that mystery loves you, not when you forget how to breathe when he kisses your forehead, when you feel his chest against your cheek. you thought everything is all over your face in his presence. you would’ve sworn every secret seeps, that you couldn’t be easier to read, but a look in your eyes and the softness of your skin still needs translating

♡time is a strange thing. it only takes a minute to change, but it takes ten to choose your outfit. it only takes five minutes to cook your eggs, but triple the time to eat them with a full mind. it only takes seconds to say i love you but minutes collected over months to say it out loud, despite the list you’ve written of all its silent showings and the way your own are entirely compatible with his

♡you’ve started to notice the bubbling desire existing in him. the way his face scrunches up for only a moment when he wants to touch you but can’t. the way his fingers curl as his hand forms a fist because he wants to hold yours but can’t. the tension on his skin when you brush against him innocently. the part in his lips and the lids covering dark eyes, but only for a moment. anyone else could miss the subtle cues. he’s started to talk about your favorite things—write about them on loose parchment as a way to say he loves you without mentioning the largest four letter word the world has ever known- will ever know

♡memories fill your room. in cute trinkets and museum postcards, the sweetest moments stay with you. the reminders have always been good for you. it probably started because of a movie scene when a beautiful protagonist discovered a memory box. old pictures with crinkled edges. necklaces with broken clasps. seashells and transparent rocks you imagined were incredibly smooth and definitely sparkled under the sun. years ago, you found your own memory box in an antique shop, three states away from your hometown. it was perfect then, and it’s still perfect now. you swear it keeps you together, keeps you going, keeps the brightness in your eyes and a warmth in your chest. there’s one person who’s starting to take it over these days, though. the small things he presents to you can’t end up anywhere else, and you daydream about years from now: afternoons drinking tea on your back porch with this handcrafted box on your lap. a fingertip tracing the grooves before two flick the lock and the softness, the love from your teens, twenties, maybe even your thirties, is all there. you wonder if a ring will be on a significant finger. if a cat named river will cover your feet. if his voice will fill your ear suddenly because hours have passed in an autumn flash and he’s home again. he’s coming outside to love you

♡it’s luxurious familiarity like egyptian cotton: ready to envelop you in obscene comfort, so plush and welcoming to your body, so understanding of the places you need to be supported without having to say anything. how incredibly lucky you are not to speak a single word and yet, your needs are crystal clear. you mold to the places his body is hard and strong. you take off the layers, the pieces of protection that can be left by the door once it’s closed, and you’re back inside the sweet escape, sinking in

♡he waits for you in wide open spaces, beneath a clear moon, in the crisp air. he twists the ring on his pointer finger and wonders if you’re wearing yours. the one you found in a quaint shop two years ago on your birthday, when he took you to another country. he woke up every morning you were away to the sight of you in front of the bay window, with your nose against the glass, with silent wishes of becoming a girl who lived there. he could feel the desire in your steps- in the energy that consumed you, wrapped around your bones for that memorable week. every day, he looks for it, since coming back home. he looks for the utter joy and a blissful smile that makes him love you more. you’ve always been fucking easy to adore. there’s a home in his hands, though. doesn’t he know? sure, that city, a continent away, left you walking on clouds, but it wouldn’t have been the same without him. maybe the parisian sky changed the lightbulb to illuminate the home’s patio brighter, but it didn’t alter the shelter behind the door. that was all him

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melonba11s · 1 year ago

Note

request challenge thing

strade being silly (up to interpretation what silliness) because he finds out its ren's birth day :)

Of course! I decided to play with a Ren who has only been Strade's captive for a few months! I wrote this on my walk home so pardon any grammar mistakes!

Contains: captivity, Ren, Strade

"Aww, Ren! You didn't tell me it was your birthday!"

Ren had bristled after accidentally letting it slip while sitting at breakfast with Strade. the "oh, I'm 19 now..." had been mumbled without thought. Now Strade had offered a special surprise, and Ren wasn't sure if he liked that...

In the past few months of captivity, surprises from Strade often ended up being painful, anything to make Ren cry and scream for him.

Ren paced in the living room, unable to help the budding anxiety in his stomach. What would Strade return with? His panic was bringing up pictures of wicked chainsaws and extra strength drain cleaner.

The door banging open made him jump several feet in the air. At first he made a move to hide but... Strade would find him anyways. So instead he opted to just sit on the couch, staring ahead stiffly.

"I'm back!" Strade dragged out the vowel of "back" in a sing songy voice. He came into the living room rather quickly, his arms surprisingly laden with bags.

Ren watched in disbelief as Strade pulled out an entire grocery store cake from one bag, and a box of chocolates and what looked like a family size bucket of fried chicken from another.

"I got the sides for the chicken somewhere in one of these bags... but for now-" he paused, finally looking at Ren's nervous expression. Strade's smile faltered a little, and he cocked an eyebrow.

"what's wrong, buddy?" he asked, approaching Ren with one of the bags. "you look.... scared." Ren quickly moved to clean up his expression, opting for one of polite surprise.

"Nothing! Nothings wrong!" he said a little too quickly. Strades grin came back though as he dumped the bag in Rens lap.

"That's good! Sorry it's not wrapped but, go ahead and open your present!" Strade stood over him, looking oddly gleeful.

The bag was too light to be any heavy weapons... Ren swallowed with difficulty, imagining now instead nails. 19 of them. One for each year.

Not wanting too put it off any longer, Ren tipped the bag over, wincing as the innards hit his lap. Then his eyes widened in surprise.

A brand new Nintendo Switch. Several games he glanced over, which all looked to be current best sellers... It all must have costed Strade hundreds of dollars.

"S-Strade! You didn't have too!" Ren's voice was several pitches higher than usual, suddenly full of apprehension. Surely Strade was going to want something in return..

A heavy hand ruffled his hair though as Strade laughed.

"Of course I did! It's not everyday a fox turns 19... Now! Let's get settled in before the food gets cold. Go ahead and turn on whatever you want."

Strade walked away, now busying himself with unpacking tonights dinner. Potatoes, Rolls, Gravy, Macaroni Salad... Ren suddenly found himself thinking... Strade never really ate vegetables. Or many homemade meals aside from grilled meat.

And he really felt he should thank his captor, as strange as that seemed.

"Strade..." Ren moved towards the man, cradling his gifts. "Uhm... If you want I can... cook you know?"

Strade made a noise that at first Ren mistook for a grunt of annoyance. But Strade only glanced at him with a cocked eyebrow, making Ren realize it was more of a confused glance.

"If you want to cook, Ren, by all means go ahead. Just write down what you want on the grocery list. Now, what are we watching tonight?"

Strade shoved a plate full of food into his already full arms. Ren felt his heart pick up a bit as he thought.

"Let me think a bit longer." he said quietly, he had a lot on his mind now after all.

#strade #boyfriend to death #btd fanfic #boyfriend to death fanfic #boyfriend to death 2 #strade btd #ren btd #ren hana btd #ren hana #melons july ficfest

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mikunology · 1 year ago

Text

Mikunology Reviews #1: Boku wa Hatsune Miku to Kiss wo Shita (2013) (Pt.1)

Here it is, my very first album review! I figured I would do something I'm pretty familiar with first, so I decided to go with this one: a review of one of my favorite Vocaloid albums of all time, created by my favorite producer! Boku wa Hatsune Miku to Kiss wo Shita (or I Shared a Kiss With Hatsune Miku) by Mikito-P (2013)! This album also happens to be Mikito's first full studio release.

By the way, let me go ahead and state that I am not a musician, so I'm not as good at really phrasing my thoughts on things in a technical manner. But I still hope you enjoy my opinion :> I'm also a big fan, as stated, so I will probably get rambly > <" But let's get started!

Part 2 here

Hatsune Miku to Kiss wo Shita (I Shared a Kiss With Hatsune Miku): The eponymous title track: a soft rock ballad using Miku Dark (pretty sure at least) about a frustrated artist getting through life alongside Hatsune Miku. I won't lie that I'm a bit biased towards this song given its one of my favorites ever, but I like to think there's a reason for why I like it as much as I do. The strong-yet-not-overwhelming rock melody is very nice (especially paired with the piano), but most of all, I love Miku's gentle vocals: Miku Dark naturally sounds sad and tired, but the way she sings here seems almost warm given the subject matter. The lyrics are also very beautiful and relatable if you're a fan of Miku's; the struggle of feeling low confidence and finding comfort in a concept such as Hatsune Miku is written really wonderfully. A really good start to the whole album.

Shinzo Democracy (Heart Democracy): A really good second track, and a pretty popular one from this album? It has a more present melody going through it than in track one, but still with that signature atmosphere from Mikito. Miku sounds like Miku Dark here, too, but with a more airy, echo-y quality that reflects off the guitars - I think it works well for the song. If you want something with a bit higher tempo than track one, this is where it is. I remember people talking about the PV in relation to the lyrics as well, since it can be interpreted as the narrator talking about himself in a sort of disconnected POV or talking about a gay love interest. Whatever floats your boat, I think!

Yuugure Twitter (Evening Twitter): This actually appears to be a slight remaster of the original song posted on NND - it's a bit cleaner, with better and clearer vocals and mixing and a longer guitar outro. I think I like this version of it best, to be honest, it really helps the song sell the sort of forlorn, dusky atmosphere it's setting. I also really like the way Mikito uses Miki - I really feel like his songs with her show his liking for the character. The guitar outro is also just…really good.

Kunoichi Demo Koi ga Shitai! (Even Though I'm a Ninja Girl, I Want to Love!): A MikuRin duet! This song is really goofy: just a fast-paced, lighthearted pop rock track following a kunoichi (a female ninja) and her efforts to be together with a noble's son despite the difficulties her job brings her. It's a really fun track, with a catchy melody and some fun, colorful visuals in the PV (plus Miku and Rin's tanuki/kitsune hoodies are super cute!). I also really like how Miku and Rin are framed like "narrators" instead of being characters in the story itself or being completely removed from it. Lastly, I really like the sort of "vrooooooom" noises Miku and Rin make at certain points, it gets you hyped up XD

Setagaya Night Safari: This one took me a bit to get into, but I can comfortably say I like it a lot nowadays. This one is a bit like track one in that the melody is a bit more…abstract? Than in like, Kunoichi. It also has these strange old-timey jazz segments at the beginning and end. But still! Miku Dark returns here again, and her vocals add a sort of melancholic wonder to the song, especially the chorus ("doko e iku no?"). A pretty good one, but I do think it might take a few listens to really sink in on whether you like it or not.

Tokyo Eki (Tokyo Station): A Rin solo track! I feel like this one isn't talked about very much, despite it getting a PV and everything. This is another atmospheric rock track about taking the train to see someone you love in the winter months. This track uses Rin Append (I'm assuming Sweet specifically) and I think she works really well! Like Miku Dark's vocals in Kiss wo Shita, there's a pleasant feeling of softness from how Rin sounds here, which fits the wintry vibe of the song. However, I still think that the premiere version of the song is the one using Len from ALL VOCALOID ATTACK 1…but whether you agree with me might be up to whether you enjoy Rin or Len's voices more. By the way, I really like the lead guitar and drums on this one.

Yuudachi no Ribbon (Ribbon of Evening Showers): This song comes from MAYU's demo CD! This one is more high-energy than usual, but still with a melancholic air about it. This song is about a pair of girls trying to hide their relationship, while a third girl (heavily implied to have feelings for one of them) threatens to expose them, all under a rainy sky. I really love the melody in this one; it's very catchy but also full of the emotion and drama you'd expect from a song with this sort of premise (helped by MAYU's voice), plus I like the vocal bits interspersed in the instrumental parts. My favorite part is the "issho ni kaero" part in the middle, where the melody changes up a bit before the bridge. Definitely one of my favorites from this album, and a great introduction to MAYU!

Bansoukou (Bandage): This is another one that took me quite a few listens before I liked it; this is one of the slowest tracks in the album, with another more understated melody. This is a ballad song, no real description on the lyrics/theme since it remains untranslated. I like this track way more now because of the slow gentleness of Miku's voice, the piano, and the great guitar melody during the outro, but I also feel it's a bit on the dull side in comparison to the rest of the album. You might like it much more if you enjoy slower rock ballads or shoegaze, though, it has a bit of a keeno-like feel to it. (Funny, since keeno is actually in this album.)

Hikoukai Nisshi (Private Log): Another more fun one! This song uses GUMI Power, and what a great use of GUMI Power it is (plus some giggling sounds courtesy of Yukari's EX Voice). This is a refreshing love song, with the PV setting against a very cute pirate Gumi. I really love the vibe of this track, it's very pleasant and perfectly captures the sunny seafaring adventure Gumi is on - the melody, as usual, is really great as well. My favorite part has to be the final chorus when Gumi's voice hits its apex, her final "susume" is so great and full of emotion! I love this one a lot, it remains one of my favorite Gumi songs.

Alright, Tumblr is telling me there's a character limit for articles on this site, so I guess I'm going to have to break this into two posts. Join me in part two, then, for the second half of the CD!

#vocaloid #album review #hatsune miku #mikitop #mikunology reviews

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bagheerita · 5 months ago

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Catching up on a million tags so here is:

Six Sentence Sunday (Wednesday Remix) / WIP Wednesday

tagged by @chaniis-atlantis @lord-aldhelm and @anonmadsci

So excited I just finished a full chapter draft for the next chapter of "Customary" (my Sam/Todd fic) and the last 6 sentences are way cleaner than the earlier parts of the chapter, so I don't mind sharing them 😂

His eyes glow. “I would like to stay,” he allows. He speaks easily and she recalls when he’d hesitated before voicing any desire. She nods, and steps back into her bedroom. The bed is smaller- this is not a room where she ever intended to have company- but he fits his long body into one half of it easily. When she lies down he slides toward her, pressing his forehead against her shoulder again. Sam hums acknowledgment of his movement and affirmation of his touch, and falls asleep so quickly she remembers nothing more.

No pressure tags: @only-in-december @adriankyte-writes @mx-seraph @ladyofparchments @darklysnarky @the-itzy-bitzy-spider

should you feel so inclined, feel free to interpret my combination of sunday and wednesday games in whatever way you wish

#tag game #my writing

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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year ago

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The daycare attendant is so fascinating, I love talking about their designs. Like, if one were to build a da, taking into account everything we know about them, what would it involve?

I'm going to talk about their history, appearance, details, and potential theories behind their design, with a healthy dose of headcanon. And it's going to be LONG. I'll break it into reblogs to use multiple line breaks, but that requires I post it in unfinished stages, so bear with me.

First things first, what have we most recently learned? I said in another post that it's a theory that the attendant was originally created for the next door theatre before they were moved to the daycare full time. Similarly, we've just had proof of the existence of Eclipse, who's a absolute darling, if not at all up to date on the state of the plex.

Their arms were revealed to glow. In a dimly lit theatre relying on a light/dark gimmick, glowing forearms is both cool and helpful! But we never saw it in sb. Likely it's a conscious choice, given we see it after the plex is already destroyed, so it's not a lost or removed ability! It simply wouldn't have been very useful, with sun being in bright light at all times and moon trying for... A modicum of stealth.

Perhaps it's also a matter of battery, as another theory suggests the da, as the animatronic actively on patrol during the hourly recharge, and the first one you battle in the game, was originally supposed to be the source of the power upgrade that in the finished game is just readily available to freddy without explanation. Unlike all the other upgrades, which you have to defeat each other animatronic for. The increased power would certainly have been useful for both massively extended patrol times and those transformations, which certainly look power intensive! Booting up and switching over such all encompassing and high level programs has to be draining!

In a lot of the plex, but especially in the daycare, you see a lot of cut corners and animatronics not reaching their full potential (thankfully!). A lot seems hastily patched, from monty joining the band after Bonnie seemingly vanishes from the face of the earth, the constantly collapsing sinkhole in the raceway, the giant rubbish stuffed full sewer area like the underneath of a teenagers bed. Music man doubles as a cleaner. Moon works night shift as security (and a tva on the side lol).

In that regard, the da came across to me as very overworked, when I first encountered it. Sun was stressed and under a lot of strain, stretched thin. His barely contained mania is basically his whole character, besides his natural showmanship. He's jumpy, smothering, and basically five seconds away from wrapping Gregory in bubble wrap at any given moment.

What I found interesting was how he seemed tired. He talks about all these activities, but doesn't actually... Do any of them. He basically plonks Gregory down by the nearest distracting object (though it works against him, this obsession with having everything nice and tidy definitely read to me about trying to keep everything in your power when you have limited control) and doesn't let him leave from that spot. He doesn't speak or try and engage Gregory except to drag him back, he doesn't bother using the flying rope despite having the hook in his back. When he loses Gregory he just sits in a corner with his head in his hands. Whether he's playing hide and seek or crying or whatever you interpret it as, it's not exactly energetic. He's grubby and marked - either he or a staff member should be keeping him as sparkly as the other animatronics, and they're not keeping on top of it.

Moon, on contrast, uses the rope. He bounces and flips and jiggles and walks on his hands and pretends to swim. He's got no problem chasing Gregory into the tunnels once enough generators are flipped. He's not afraid to back off, either - he doesn't stop moving, but instead circles like a culture, muttering to himself. He most likely runs on the same battery as sun, but he's not afraid of using it. Not to mention whatever bizarre but super cool galaxy effect he can use on the hour change, possibly all the way across the map!

Eclipse, meanwhile, has a voice significantly less robotic than the other two, uses the rope, and activates those old glowing arms without a thought, despite the fact that sun and moon are slow and staggering by the time of ruin. For goodness sake, moon can't even get a proper grip on a child's arm, and is fended of by even a single torch beam, despite being completely immune to the torch and a game over if he even touched you in sb.

Theatrical expressive design

Eclipse as ring master

Child safety problems

Likely mechanics of mask/clothes

Implications of room

Chance of fazbear splurging on sign language/disabilities accommodation

Liklihood of bring connected to the Internet (not high)

Security desk barrier (they both can touch and climb on it only in cutscene)

Involvement of light levels

Human actors v endos.

Potential programming and maintenance.

#fnaf sb #fnaf sb ruin #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sun and moon #fnaf eclipse #fnaf security breach

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