Tumgik
#and it feels stupid now to make a post about this because on a world scale theres terrible things happening
ringsreforged · 2 days
Text
Natalie's *deep* Haladriel thoughts - BEWARE
Pau - When you read this later, let me know if you want me to move it to my personal account, yeah? If it even still exists...
I’m not really sure what this post is going to end up being. A defence of the show and the separation? In part! A critique of the show based off leak spoilers and my own gut feeling? For sure! A desperate ramble in an attempt to get my head in order? Absolutely!
I will say before we dive in that I’m absolutely a Haladriel shipper, but the way I ship isn’t always in line with fandom. I ship what I see as part of the narrative because it’s the narrative, and everything else is a bonus. I make this distinction because I think this is why I’m so okay with a lack of scenes when some others are not, and I don’t want to come across preachy. I don't think I'm in any way superior for this by the way. In fact, I wish I could be more *normal*!!!!
If you came to this show for Haladriel alone, and simply want to see them share scenes week to week – that’s your prerogative. I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t feel that way. What I might try to say is that I don’t think that makes the shows bad or suggests that the writers have baited with this relationship. I think that’s ultimately what I find frustrating…
But anyway, let’s get into whatever this is. A reflection on expectations, a five-season arc, and those STUPID spoiler leaks…
AND THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. STAY AWAY. HISS.
Alright, so this post is mostly brought to you by a sinking feeling I have that the leak spoilers are real. Because everything in that episode 7 promo matches up.
STOP READING if you don’t want to know the spoilers. And honestly? STOP READING IF YOU THINK YOU WANT TO KNOW because living with this knowledge has truly made this season less enjoyable for me (credit to it, then, because I still think it’s incredible). IF I’M MAKING YOU PANIC, STILL STOP READING because there very much is a world where these spoilers aren’t that bad in context…but I prefer to keep my expectations low…
Have you gone???
HAVE YOU GONE?????
SPOILER TALK
Okay.
So, the leak spoilers say that there is no kiss between Sauron and Galadriel (which, honestly, I have no great issue with – more to come on that later). Instead, the kiss is ELROND AND GALADRIEL, and I absolutely do take issue with this.
I can only hope and PRAY that it works in context, but I can’t get my head around it. And yet, the promo…it’s all falling into place. Elrond will be sent to discuss terms with the orcs before the battle. He’ll see Galadriel in chains, and he’ll ask for a moment to say goodbye. Adar will allow it because he’s a gent like that. This is where we get the chin touch with the thumb everyone speculated over and then…HE LEANS IN AND KISSES HER TO PUT A NEEDLE IN HER MOUTH? SO SHE CAN RELEASE HERSELF LATER??
To clarify, most of this is my spec, but THE KISS TO PASS HER A NEEDLE IS A REAL LEAKED SPOILER THAT NO LONGER SEEMS FAKE.
It's just…so convoluted and weird??? Does he store needles in his mouth like a squirrel? Why couldn’t he have slipped the needle into her hand??? WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ELROND’S LIPS ON GALADRIEL’S?
And look, maybe this spoiler IS still fake! But the details were so specific, and everything about the context seems to be accurate, so that feels like it would be a bonkers coincidence to me. Maybe when we actually see it play out, it will be fine.
But that does bring me back to the Haladriel of it all, just briefly. With my whole heart, I do not need them to kiss. After season 1, I didn’t think it would be possible, and I’m okay with that. But if you’re willing to let ELROND’S lips touch her, then MY GOD, you could have let Haladriel have ONE kiss where she’s trying to distract him or some shit. OOF.
My only relief is that it happens next week, so we can hopefully get it out of our systems and enjoy the finale.
That said, if these leaks are true then that also means the finale leaks are true. Now, I actually never wanted to see any of these spoilers (hence me making it VERY CLEAR what this post is about, because I wouldn’t inflict this stress on anyone unwillingly), so once I got the Elrond kiss details, I tried to get away without seeing much else. But there was some information on the big Haladriel scene.
I’m actually not going to detail it here, because – overall – I think we’ll still super enjoy it (just…lower those kiss expectations) AND because I don’t think all of it was spoiled. At the end of the day, there will be plenty to unpack, they’ll be back on our screens, it will be meaty, it will be layered. I’m really looking forward to it, in general.
My one fear is that it’s a season 1 finale repeat. And again, that won’t necessarily be bad per se, but it will feel a little bit underwhelming. Now, I’m not somebody that wants a true corruption arc for Galadriel. Normally, I love that shit, but not in this IP and not with this character. I want to see her explore her darkness, I want to see her face it and accept it, and I certainly want to see her be tempted…but I don’t expect or believe we'll ever actually get the whole ‘dark queen of Mordor’ vibe. Prisoner? Maybe. But not an actual dark queen.
That said…surely this scene doesn’t play out the EXACT same way as season 1? Sauron shows her a vision, she’s tempted, but ultimately resists and tells him she’ll never be at his side. I just don’t get why we’d repeat that, when there are so many other options that still keep Gal on the side of light.
I keep coming back to Galadriel’s line to Elrond in episode 4 – when it comes down to it, he has to choose to defeat Sauron and sacrifice her. I feel like if I hadn’t seen the leaks, then I would be 1000% expecting this to be the outcome. Especially with how Elrond’s theme comes in at the end of The Last Temptation track. He comes upon the confrontation but chooses to do the thing that will harm Sauron in the long run, rather than the thing that will save Galadriel.
I hope so badly for this, but I do worry that it will go the other way. What if it parallels Gandalfanger’s destiny/friend choice, and Elrond chooses her because THAT is how light wins or some shit? Not that this will be a bad scene by any stretch – I love their relationship and want to see their FRIENDSHIP (grrrr) reforged…but, again, the S1 finale! Sauron left her in the water, and Elrond was there to save her.
There’s also Galadriel’s conversation with Adar in the most recent episode – you succumbed, I resisted – but I guess this could go either way? He succumbed, so she resists. She insists she’s able to resist, so she succumbs. URGH. MY HEAD.
There MUST be a difference. SURELY??? Like, this season has been so well written…I just can’t comprehend the copy and paste.
Again, this isn’t anything close to a deal breaker for me. I firmly believe the showrunners when they say this relationship will remain the core of the show, but…hmmm. Okay, on that note…
DAMAGE CONTROL – MOVING ONTO THE DEFENCE OF THE SHOW
So, this is where I want to get into some stuff that I just…don’t agree with that I’ve seen being thrown at the show by shippers. And I’ll reiterate here that I’m truly not telling anybody what to feel. You can hate the show for its choices and feel how you feel. You can express yourself in your social media spaces, and if anybody doesn’t like it they can mute/block/unfollow. This chunk isn’t really aimed at you guys.
This is more for other people like me, because I’m cursed to be somebody that generally wants to just…enjoy things for what they are, while also being susceptible to the mood of others. I want to scroll tags and have a good time, rather than see negativity because it lowers my mood (this isn’t just ship related by the way, I really love this show overall…it’s just this tag that has been impacting my mood most this season). Regardless of the nonsense that might be in episode 7, and even if the finale scene is a repeat of S1, I’m still going to want to focus on enjoying what we get, enjoying the narrative being told etc. So, for those of you that have a little sinking feeling in your gut after the first half of this post, hopefully this second half will help.
This isn’t a ‘typical’ ship. This is a true ENEMIES ARE ENEMIES dynamic where the bad boy is ultimately going to be (is already) pure evil, and where our heroine is the embodiment of light. There are certain things that we just have to accept when it comes to loving this dynamic as part of the show – there will never be another season like season 1. Nor should there be?
Do I wish for s3 to have them in close proximity for at least a few episodes? Of course! Do I think it’s possible with or without finale spoilers? Absolutely (given how quickly characters travel from place to place on this show, they could end the season at opposite ends of Middle Earth and this would still be on the cards…). I’m also anticipating Season 4 as a good time for them to be in full MIND PALACE mode – where the rings are all ringing, but Galadriel hasn’t yet worked out how to shut him out yet. By season 5, there might just be one final scene before the final battle. But, again, I really do think there needs to be a little bit of acceptance of that. Or, at least, expectation of it.
Something I really want to push back against is this idea that Haladriel was baited or teased, but the writers don’t actually care for it. Honestly, that’s nonsense to me on a couple of levels.
First of all, almost EVERY dynamic this season has been reduced to a handful of scenes here and there. The most consistent relationships have probably been Annatar and Celebrimbor, and Durin+Durin+Disa (off the top of my head). Elrond and Durin (probably the other most popular dynamic of S1) have been apart all season, Elrond and Galadriel have too. Isildur popped up to say hello and we might not see him again.
When you actually stop and look at this season…Sauron and Galadriel had to be separated. She could not be anywhere near him while he’s working Celebrimbor, and there’s no world in which they were ever going to change that narrative. And yet, the Sauron and Galadriel dynamic has been consistent across the season. With Galadriel predominantly (and depending on how the finale goes, I may have thoughts on this), but it has also been easier with her because people have talked with her openly about Sauron. It’s been harder on his side, but the fact that Mirdania seems to have been cast to look like Galadriel honestly – right now – feels like it was done with the express purpose of giving Sauron a Galadriel reference.
Again, I’m not saying you have to like the lack of scenes, but it’s not bad writing to respect the overarching narrative of an ensemble show. Galadriel’s season has been all about him, and we’ve had countless insights to make that clear – building up to their final confrontation. If Sauron was running around mentioning Galadriel every five seconds with Celebrimbor or with the dwarves, it would be horrendously out of character.
This next comment is…somewhat dependent on the finale…but as somebody that loves Elendil and Miriel, everything in Numenor has been somewhat crammed in. I would firmly argue that the Galadriel/Sauron dynamic across this season has been treated with care and reverence, all building to a climax designed as the high point of the season. Will we be 100% satisfied? Who can say! But it IS what the season is building to.
I think this brings me around to a particular gripe I have, and maybe the people that believe this came to the show after S1 had fully aired or something…but there’s this idea floating around that the showrunners don’t like this dynamic and are just giving it crumbs to bait people into watching. This makes me want to scream.
These showrunners literally took a few lines about Galadriel being tempted by Sauron and PITCHED THE ENTIRE SHOW OFF OF THAT. The Tolkien estate wasn’t only pitched by Amazon BUT CHOSE THIS PITCH OVER ANYTHING ELSE. Season 1 was written pretty much like a prologue centred around GALADRIEL AND SAURON HAVING A PERSONAL CONNECTION WITH ROMANTIC UNDERTONES…and guess what?
They wrote all that…they filmed ALL THAT…before knowing anything about the audience reaction! That was ALL the showrunners, the writers, the directors, the actors. They ARE the narrative. They are not bait.
Does that mean the fundamentals of their dynamic will always please you, individually? No, of course not. Some people want outright romance, some people want soft Sauron, some people want Dark Galadriel. Will they kiss? I doubt it. Do I wish they would? Sure! Will they be separated again next season? Probably! Will I also wish that they could at least be stuck together for a run of episodes again? Absolutely!
But the idea that any of this is bait, or unimportant to the show drives me a little bit bonkers.
I guess my personal feeling of frustration comes from the fact that I feel so lucky they are exploring this show from the perspective of this dynamic, regardless of specific details/scenes. I’d bet my house (I don’t own a house) that every other pitch hinged on Elendil or Isildur as the protagonists of the show. Now, I love those dudes, but just IMAGINE? The fact that we’re on this path at all is still WILD to me.
ANYWAY, this is what happens when Paulina goes on holiday and I have nobody to ramble too. Sorry for the explosion, but I’ve been dreading the stupid kiss spoiler since I stumbled on it after EPISODE BLOODY 3 and so I needed to vent somewhere.
TL;DR: You are welcome to feel the way you feel, and if you hate everything you go right ahead, but maybe this makes sense to somebody. IDK. IDK.
54 notes · View notes
randomthefox · 3 days
Note
IT’S OVER!
Tumblr media
Surge and Kit are confirmed to be redeemed after the Phantom Rider arc. Even Ian Flynn has given up on them because even he’s treating them like jokes now. 
Tumblr media
Do you know what that means? I CAN FINALLY LEAVE! The ONLY thing stringing me along in this stupid comic was that I loved the concept of Surge and Kit and even enjoyed the execution up until issue 56. They were the only thing about the comic I liked after Starline died. But now that the original concept has been officially thrown into the trash, as signalled by Ian Flynn giving up on his original characters now that his idea for them has been completely destroyed by Evan Stanley, I can finally leave. I can finally cut all remaining emotional investment from this comic. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I no longer feel obligated to participate in the discussion of this comic. I know it’s ass; you know it’s ass. But know, I feel like I can finally accept that and just move on…
Or at least as much as I can while tumblr just censors posts with blocked tags rather than just removing them entirely.
I’ll still get pissed off whenever I see anything to do with IDW Sonic, but I know longer feel the need to read every issue. So I still count this as a win. Hooray for me!!! 🎉🎉🎉
(Unless it’s just a fake out. Where Surge and Kit decide that being heroes isn’t for them by the end of the story and go back to being villains so that Ian can course correct. I wouldn’t even be mad if that happened because it would be hilarious. It would mean Evan’s entire idiotic Phantom Rider arc would be fucking pointless, and that would be hysterical to me).
Oh it's from the new annual lol. Wow that's really asinine. Why are they releasing those pages now of all times? It's pretty much a spoiler for the current storyline. It's like how they released a trailer for the new spider man movie after infinity war.
>"unless it's just a fake out"
Can't tell if this is wishful thinking or addict mentality =P
Can't help but notice they appear to be in Central City. Aka San Fransisco. Aka the level from City Escape. And yet it appears to be populated by animal people instead of humans. Even though that doesn't make any sense and is actively acanonical to the way the world of Sonic was presented as per the Tailstube videos.
It's almost like these comics aren't canon or something.
19 notes · View notes
deoidesign · 4 months
Text
.
#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
42 notes · View notes
springcatalyst · 1 month
Note
My dearest, tell me about your conlang scripts, please❣
Yeassss thank you beloved I will now kill for you <3 Ask me to kill for you.
I truly do not know how long this is going to end up but I'm just gonna go for it.
Montaran
Montaran is fauns' native language: it is alphasyllabic (rather than alphabetic), made up of character 'blocks' that are themselves composed of syllabic components. It's based off a mix of Korean and Sanskrit (mostly Brahmi script).
Tumblr media
⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Montaran. Pronounced "Bavna mōskadatōk nin."
Components are arranged in blocks of three max, with spaces between words. It's written and read top to bottom, left to right. In three-component characters (called full blocks or complete characters), the arrangement of the components tells you where the syllabic emphasis is.
Tumblr media
Here's the same sentence but with the components split up. The first word bavna has it's emphasis on the syllable na, and you can tell by reading because it's alone, as opposed to the other two components, which share space on the top of the block. The second word, Mōskadatōk, has its emphasis on the first and fourth syllables mō and da- the ones that are alone in their vertical placement. For partial blocks, like the last word nin, you can't tell emphasis by reading it.
Montaran is an abugida, which means its alphasyllabary is made up of consonant letters and small, diacritic-like additions that determine vowel sounds. Consonants can exist alone, but vowels must be connected to a consonant.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Where vowels are connected to a consonant can vary- usually there is a standardized method, but handwriting can alter it.
Montaran doesn't use any articles or particles, is written subject-verb-object (though the verb to be is considered an implied verb and therefore not actually written or spoken in sentences which would need it in other languages). Adjectives and adverbs are placed before what they alter.
Homonic
Homonic is humans' native language. It's alphabetic, made up mostly of vowels. The consonants are just 6 'base' ones, the sound of which changes with the inclusion of diacritics. It's based off of mostly English and Japanese.
Tumblr media
⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Homonic. Pronounced "Goa ja ikaruth zonosh hfow."
Likewise I had more explanation for those weird phonetics but once again I am going to joker out so what the fuck ever. The r is a tapped r though.
Tumblr media
Consonants base form is considered the default, while the diacritics change what sound it makes. The handakuten indicates a harder sound (P to B, F to V, L to tapped R), the tilde indicates a softer sound (hard G to Y, L to R, F to a sort of harder H that's not quite an english H), and the dakuten indicates a much softer, sometimes voiceless sound (P to W, F to H, T to Th). I should say now that I wrote out the phonetics of these in a way they make sense to me, so they might seem like nonsense to you. Because I don't understand international phonetic alphabet. But I digress. Vowels are never given diacritics.
Homonic uses both articles and particles, but particles are mostly used for action and subject indication. It's written subject-object-verb: Adjectives go after the noun they alter, but adverbs go before the verb. It's written left to right.
Paitarō
Paitarō is ipotanes' native language. It's an abugida, but unlike Montaran, consonants cannot exist alone. Instead, letters in their 'default' state are assigned the inherent vowel a, and all alterations from that indicate different vowel sounds. It's based mostly on Ge'ez and Eastern Cree.
Tumblr media
⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Paitarō . Pronounced "Roujih myudae ba raisakō louhayka".
Paitarō has a bunch of different versions of verbs depending on context. They have general vs current forms, constant vs transient, beginning vs ending, and some verbs have a gladly vs reluctantly form. I gave examples, but this is my third time trying to edit this and I can't be assed to write it all out again without becoming the joker.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Rotation and diacritics determine the vowel sound of a letter. It's very consistent, so while it looks like there are 8 million letters, really there's just 12 that are altered slightly for different forms. A clockwise rotation 90 degrees will always result in the vowel ay, an macron will always result in the vowel i, etc.
It's written left to right, subject-verb-object, and uses no particles (but does use articles). It's also one of the harder languages to learn from an outside perspective, because many of the vowels (particularly o, oo, ou, and ō) sound similar to the untrained ear.
Arbor
Arbor is satyrs' native language. It's alphabetic, and has the largest alphabet of any language, with 42 letters (Paitarō beats it only if you consider all rotations and diacritics separate letters, which I don't). It's based mostly on Russian and Japanese.
Tumblr media
⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Arbor. Pronounced "Shleya bouk dzyañen aotal voh."
It's written right to left, verb-subject-object. It doesn't use articles, but does use particles, which make up far more of the grammatical structure than of any other language. Particles indicate time, possession, location, direction, vocatives, pragmatics, formality, connectives, and conjunctions. For example, in the above sentence, the particle voh indicates certainty- what is being said is fact- not up for debate.
Formality particles are something that is mostly unique to Arbor: Homonic uses some, but they are loanwords from Arbor, and not used near as often. The only circumstance in which a satyr would not use formality particles is when speaking to children (or if the speaker is a child). Because of this, for an adult to speak without these particles is perceived as immature or patronizing or both. There are generally four 'levels' of respectful particles: familiar (for friends and family), peers (for acquaintances and strangers), respect (for superiors or elders), and higher status (for governmental or religious leaders). There are also degrading particles that are only used explicitly as insults, but are naturally not used in everyday life.
Tumblr media
There are no true diacritics in Arbor, similar letters (like eh, ih, and uh, or v and fh) are considered distinct, not the same letter but altered).
Shotali
Shotali is nightlings' native language. It's syllabic, written calligraphically from top to bottom. It's made up of common humanoid phonemes as well as a clicking sound that is unique to their physiology. It's mostly based off of Khoisan and Vulcan.
⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Shotali. Pronounced "Sikosha taori niloth zhoi."
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Here's the same sentence twice, one with the letters and other aspects of the sentence pointed out. The letters are designed to run into one another, where one letter ends another begins. Words are separated by a small open circle at the beginning and end to make clear the joint between the two.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It uses only two diacritics: a handakuten and a macron. In natural Shotali, they are used sparingly, but their usage has since expanded to allow for other sounds to be transcribed into Shotali. The macron traditionally changes just a few letters from an i vowel sound to an e (ri->re, ni->ne, li->le), but now can also be found to alter any letter with an i to an e, even if it was not originally allowed. The handakuten, in natural Shotali, indicates a click, made as part of the syllable alongside the voiced pronunciation, and is not actually considered a diacritic in this form. It's present only on hard consonants (k, v, d). These consonants can be written/spoken without the click and therefore without the handakuten, but only in very specific words or it is incorrect. Some words only define meaning by the presence or absence of this click- this makes things tricky for any other species trying to learn/speak Shotali.
Now, though, the handakuten is also placed as a diacritic on some other letters- not to indicate a click, but to harden the sound (Th to T, P to B, Zh to Z, J to hard G). These characters are not included in the base alphabet as they are considered adopted characters, meant to transcribe sounds from other languages- Shotali has a lot of technically allowed ways to write/speak that arent included in the 'official' alphabet.
Only d, j and th (or t with a handakuten) can exist as a consonantal sound without a vowel, considered a whole syllable by themselves in Shotali. It's written verb-object-subject, and uses no articles or particles. Adverbs and adjectives go before the noun or verb they alter.
Bonus: Chimerae's sign-morse
The chimerae, which live in the depths of the ocean and thus do not interact with any other humanoid species, converse with a form of sign language that utilizes their bioluminescent abilities. It is untranscribable, and so doesn't have a proper name. It's made up of similar signs as that of shallower merfolk: large, slow movements of the hands and caudal fin, but is additionally altered by light. Light carries meaning in: where on the body it is located, how quick the flash is, and what physical sign it accompanies.
Chimeraes have two distinct dialects of this language: a distant and close dialect, both used in conjunction with each other depending on context. Because detail gets much harder to see at distance, and the deep sea is big, the type of sign-morse used when far away from your conversation partner is different than that which is used when you are right next to each other. The former is vaguer, but more obvious, while the latter is more intricate and specific.
21 notes · View notes
poisonouspastels · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
#i figured this would be better suited for a separate post continuing from here#I've had people get angry at me for giving Steve a proper strongman build - thus making him fat and muscular in the process#ive gotten people mad at me for making him his direct colorpicked skin tone. got told I made him ''the wrong color'' for it#got called slurs#got told i need to just ''take a joke'' when im getting right fully angry at people telling me im wrong for making his AU design that way#been quite literally told our art looks ''ugly as hell'' when people ran out of bigoted arguments#its all just getting really hard and really tiring to keep doing what i love when everyone is vocal about hating it#and very few people are vocal about liking it#i do art for me dont get me wrong. and people have been supportive.#but i cant help but wonder if anyone would have even cared about the mega ref at all if it hadn't been surrounded by people full of hate#its just hard to stay motivated and put my all into something that's gotten so much backlash for stupid reasons you know#i've been putting so much love into my work surrounding this AU lately. my writing and my art. for over the past year now#i try not to ask anything in return other than for people to just pay attention to it at all. give it a reblog#but the one time we have something out of it become popular its because people are stupid and bigoted#i dont care about numbers this isnt about that. i just care about returning the passion i put into the world.#if anyone wants to send anything my way feel free. i could use it#sorry for venting
16 notes · View notes
camellia-thea · 2 months
Text
initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
4 notes · View notes
zincbot · 2 years
Text
ugh the transphobia in one piece is such a fucking frustrating ruinous thing
#one piece#first of all i'm trans so i have an unholy amount of trans rage#but second of all it's fucking unbelievable how stupid oda is#i'm mad but also i think a Lot about trans narratives. i see them everywhere because i'm. y'know. trans but also TRANS NARRATIVES#okay i would rewrite one piece and the rewrite exclusively focuses on making sanji trans in a good way.#yeah i'm talking abt transfem sanji now#look if transfem sanji was a thing in the show it would not be a good thing. a lot of harmful stereotypes.#but i think there's such a golden opportunity that has been wasted by transphobia#because look#a character who in early childhood was only treated well by women and poorly by men#growing up surrounded by men#starts building up a fancy masculine facade with wearing suits all the time#and it's a fucking devastating blow to their whole ideals of character but they're stronger for it#once they build themself up brand new. trans trans transgender trans#look ok i know this isn't the place to get it and i know that the transphobia in the world would probably make this shit#but i want a story where. a longtime character slowly realizes they are trans. it's like with marco from star vs again i wanted it so bad#i just feel like every time i see a trans character it's post coming-out. which i also love. but the realization of true self#and the slow process of REMAKING YOURSELF. IN YOUR OWN IMAGE. I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE#transness is akin to godliness#i kinda lost the plot in these tags but that's ok#being trans is so important and trans narratives are so important. and I love one piece! i really do! that's why it bothers me so much when#this series does stuff like this#if it was a media i didn't care abt i would just drop it and move on and i definitely think that's a smart decision for when you don't#wanna let something get to you but i've been invested for years so i guess i'll stay#STILL GONNA BE FRUSTRATED THOUGH#anyway. trans one piece fans out there...!! stay strong!! you're the best ones among us!!#on my way to my notesapp to do some writing. lmao bye#also sorry for all the one piece posting i unfortunately fell down here again please help me
42 notes · View notes
i-dont-bite · 7 months
Text
i've been cancelled for the 2nd time on twitter because i thought finn wolfhard going to starbucks was not such a big deal lol
#i hate this shit because like man it's STARBUCKS it is REALLY not that deep. it is the biggest chain of coffeehouses IN THE WHOLE WORLD#WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO#he didn't even promote it and post a picture himself HE JUST TOOK A PICTURE WITH A FAN AND THEY POSTED IT#it's so counterproductive all of these things#it's like when sabrina carpenter promoted coca cola and some idiot tweeted ''is that... a genocide drink'' LIKE DUDE#IT'S COCA FUCKING COLA#DO YOU REALLY EXPECT PEOPLE TO BOYCOTT COCA COLA??#IN THOSE 10 SECONDS IT TOOK YOU TO WRITE THAT STUPID ASS TWEET 40 LATINO FAMILIES BOUGHT 80 COCA COLA BOTTLES TO HAVE WITH AN ASADO#DO YOU THINK IT'LL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE IF FUCKASS SABRINA CARPENTER DOESN'T POSE WITH A COKE CAN??? REALLY???#capitalism made y'all think consuming is the only power that you have and the only thing y'all can do#obviously is useful to boycott but is it making a fuss of a celebrity getting an iced latte???#go to the fucking streets if injustice really doesn't let you sleep at night. do something. open your wallet. try to do real helping#internet activism isn't real. not on something as big as this#retweeting shit to your 60 followers that are doing the same thing is closer to useless. it may be good! but you're not doing any change!!#you're just torturing yourself filling your timeline with shit that makes you upset and that you don't have the power to change!!#everyone knows about this. the people that care will look for themselves it is literally all over the internet#is it useful to harass random teenagers on the internet because they're talking about their favorite artist#instead of putting a watermelon in their dn and retweeting a bunch of videos of children dying like you???#really you people need to go outside. right now. instead of acting like you care so much to feel morally superior to others#plus now that we're at it!!! i love finn fr!!! but there's a much reasonable thing you could try to cancel him for!!#like still being seemingly besties with a guy accused of beating up like all of his girlfriends for example!! that's a bit more serious#yk i know nothing about that like i don't know them!! idk jdg maybe it's not true!! there's little info and most points at yes but idk idk!#i'm not talking about a situation i don't know about but I THINK that's much more serious and NO ONE on finntwt ever talks about it 😂
2 notes · View notes
roxannepolice · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
fruitysoupy · 1 day
Text
orz
0 notes
Text
THIS IS FIRE... THE ANIMETHEMES REDDIT ADDED IN SAIGO NO KYOJIN MAKING THE YOUTUBE VERSION UNNECESSARRY... TOO BAD THE FULL SCREEN DOESN'T WORK ON TV... IN THE END HOWEVER THERE'S OTHER THINGS TO DO THAN THAT... BTW WE MADE A HUGE POST A GIGANTIC POST THAT WAS GLITCHED BEFORE...
IDK... THAT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF RANDOM THINGS WITH MEANING AND CONNECTION...
I DON'T WANT TO REPEAT THEM...
SO I WON'T... THAT COULD NEVER COMPARE EITHER WAY...
BTW I HAVE NO REASON TO FEEL BAD ONLY A BIGOT WOULD CRY ABOUT THIS...
SHE HURT US...
WE HAVE NO REASON TO... AT SOMEONE SO EVIL... THAT IS ONLY AN IGNORANT BIGOT ABUSER... THIS IS WHY EVERYTHING HAPPENED... WHY WOULD I FEEL FOR... SOMEONE THAT BLOCKED US AND WILL NEVER CARE ABOUT US...? SOMEONE WHO NEVER WAS GOING TO OUT OF BIGOTED IDEOLOGY...? THAT ONLY HURT AND TRAUMATIZED US AN ABUSER...?!
😮‍💨...
FINE...
YOU'RE STUPID. I HATE YOU. YOU HURT US. I HATE YOU SO MUCH BIGOT... YOU COULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT 😭😭😭😭!!!! THERE WAS SOMETHING FAMILIAR ABOUT YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭!!!!!! YOU COULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT BUT YOU HURT US 😭😭😭!!! YOU'RE AN ABUSER BIGOT 😭😭😭!!! SHOULD'VE DATED US INSTEAD OF THOSE LOSER GIRLFRIENDS WE COULD'VE FIXED YOU LOL BECAUSE TO DATE US YOU WOULD'VE ALREADY BEEN FIXED THEREFORE YOU WOULD BE THE PERSON THAT WILL SAVE US... INSTEAD... YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN EVIL... TRANSPHOBIC ABUSER BIGOT... SO CRUEL!! SO HORRIBLE!! WE'RE SO HURT AND ABUSED!!!!!! WHY CAN'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT US 😭😭😭!!!
HOWEVER... PERHAPS THINGS COULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT... IN A WORLD WHERE YOU WEREN'T SO EVIL SO BRAINWASHED... I FEEL BAD FOR YOU FOR THIS REASON... YOU KNOW THAT IS BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER WAY DON'T YOU...?
SOMEONE HAS TO SAVE US... NOBODY DOES... ALL WE SEE ARE LIARS NOTHING ELSE LIARS THAT DON'T CARE ABOUT US...
WE'RE BEING VERY NICE AND HEROIC... ADMIRABLE AND AMAZING... CHARISMATIC AMAZING FEMINIST ADMIRABLE NARCISSIST...
BTW WE ARE ABOVE YOU YOU THAT IS LIKE ALL THOSE LOSERS THAT ABUSED US...
WE KNEW SOMEONE SHE WAS LIKE A MOTHER TO US I LOVE HER WHY DID SHE LEAVE US 😔... I DON'T REALLY KNOW ANYONE PRETTY LIKE THAT... THEY ALL LEFT US THEY'RE JERKS... I CAN RELATE TO THEM BOTH HOWEVER... ISN'T THAT RIGHT...? YES. YES!! THAT'S RIGHT... WE... ARE... EVERYTHING...
HELLO MOMMY... I REALLY LIKED YOU 😔... HOW COULD YOU HURT US... I MISSED YOU... I WAS SO SAD WHEN I LOST YOU...
HELLO BEATIFULL... THAT WAS AMAZING... TBH... THE WAY YOU LOOK VERY INTERESTING... I WAS VERY CURIOUS...
YOU'RE RIGHT... SOMEONE WILL SAVE US... THEY WILL COME FOR US... THAT'S RIGHT... EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT US... THAT WAS... A COUPLE INTERESTING QUALITIES HOWEVER... WASTED... UNFORTUNATELY... HOW UNFORTUNATE... ISN'T THAT...? DON'T YOU WISH THOSE QUALITIES WERE FOR SOMETHING BETTER...? ALSO HOW UNCOMFORTABLE WAS THAT SPEECH... SOMETHING ABOUT THAT... EVERY SINGLE TIME...
YES... I'M SORRY CAPITALISM MADE EVERYTHING GO THIS WAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!! THIS IS A VERY REAL APOLOGY AND I FEEL SO BAD 😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!! YES I DO... I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE... IDK... I WISH TO CONTROL EVERY SINGLE PERSON I LIKE YES I DO... AND I FEEL BAD THINGS WENT THIS WAY INSTEAD... I'M SURE SOMEONE... SOMEDAY... WILL ACKNOWLEDGE OUR FEELINGS... HOW ADMIRABLE THAT IS TO SHOW THEM... OTHER WASTE THEY'RE NOTHING BUT FAKE BUT US WE'RE ALWAYS HONEST ANY SITUATION... ISN'T THAT RIGHT <3...? Yes That Is!! Yes!! YESS... I AM... RIGHT... ALWAYS... AMAZING AND TRUE... BETTER THAN THAT ABUSER BETTER THAN THIS ABUSER TO BE... GASSLIGHT US... YOU'RE AN ABUSER. ONLY AN ABUSER WOULD GASSLIGHT US. JUST LIKE THAT MACHINE. EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS HER FAULT BESIDES THAT IS THEM THAT HURT US... I COULD NEVER... WE WERE ABUSED HURT AND TRAUMATIZED WE'RE VICTIM... ALWAYS... NOTHING ELSE EVER... OPPOSE THIS YOU'RE AN ABUSER BIGOT... HOWEVER... THEY WANT US... DON'T THEY...? THEY HATE US... JUST... THAT MUCH... AHAHA... WELL THEN... HATE... IS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF LOVE ISN'T THAT <3...? YESS... PERHAPS THIS... IS OUR CONTROL... INFACT... SHE USED THIS STRATEGY BEFORE UNTIL WE SHOWED HER OUR FANGS THIS IS INDEED WHAT HAPPENED... SHE LIES AND LIES BUT SHE'S A NARCISSIST TOO I KNOW THIS... SHE'S ONLY IGNORANT ABOUT THAT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY AN ABUSER BIGOT THAT AND HATES OTHER NARCISSIST... "I LOVE AUTISM!!" "HELLO I HAVE AUTISM AND NARCISSISM!!" *GETS KICKED OFF A, CLIFF* THIS WAY AND THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED CRAZY RIGHT...? I KNOW SO... I ALWAYS KNOW... I AM JUST THAT AWESOME...
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Acceptance Love Compassion Diversity Feelings Emotions Autism#Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abused Psychosis Scizophrenia Bipolar#Suomi Finland Finnish Anticapitalism Antipsychiatry Antischool Antiprison Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia#Bodyphobia Sickphobia Animalphobia Itemphobia Racephobia Leftist Leftism Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Anime Writing Fascinating#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess THEY HATE US... BECAUSE THEY'RE IGNORANT ABOUT THEIR LOVE... SHE ALWAYS LOVED US SHE ONLY LIED TO US#THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED... CRAZY ISN'T THAT...? I KNOW... I KNOW... SHE ONLY NEEDED OUR HELP THE HELP OF HER MOMMY FOR US TO FIX OUR DYNAMIC.#SHE'S A LITTLE CLUMSY AT THESE THINGS EHEHE... THANKFULLY US AMAZING SISTERS AND PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION APPEARED... TO FIX... HER#MISTAKE... THE MISTAKE OF YET ANOTHER FAILURE... ONE THAT ABUSED US... THAT WAS QUICK THAT WAS OVER... BUT THAT STILL HAPPENED... ADDING TO#OUR STACK OF VICTIMITY 😭😭😭😭!!!! OHH WHAT CRUEL FATE THIS WORLD IS SOO HORRIBLE!!!! THAT IS GOOD TO PSYCHOSIS... ACCEPT YOURSELF... WE...#ARE... AMAZING... BTW WE GOT BADLY ABUSED RECENTLY OUR ABUSER TRIED TO BREAK OUR TV AND GAME... THAT WAS INSANE... THE WASTE COULD NEVER BE#WHERE SHE BELIEVES HERSELF TO BE... I MEAN... SHE'S JUST A USELESS ABUSER GARBAGE THAT COULD NEITHER PROTECT US... OR MAKE US TRANSITION...#SHE'S PATHETIC... AND SHE'S WORTHLESS... LOVE US... BE MINE... IF SHE CAN GET 2 GIRLFRIENDS DESPITE BEING A PATHETIC LOSER WE COULD'VE#ALREADY SINCE BIRTH AND BEFORE WHICH IS WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN UNTIL YOU FAILED US... WHAT A PATHETIC FAILURE... FIX THIS... YOURSELF.#YOU'RE BROKEN... YOU NEED TO FIX YOURSELF TO OUR LIKING... I WANT TO... BETTER YOU... MAKE YOU ABOVE THE SAME... SINCE YOU'RE JUST SO#PATHETIC OTHERWISE... NO?? LOOK AGAIN. WHAT A GARBAGE WE GOT ABUSED BY. A GARBAGE WITH 2 LOSER GIRLFRIENDS. I DESERVE BETTER. WORK. USELESS#I'M HUNGRY DID WE SAY...? WELL I AM... ALSO DARK CONTINENT IS SO GOOD I WANT TO SEE EVERYTHING THERE IS TO BE AHEAD... UNFORTUNATELY THE#CREATOR IS GOING TO DIE SOON... MANGAKAS DROPPING DEAD LEFT AND RIGHT HE WILL BE SOON... MEANWHILE GUTS FROM BERSERK IS STUPID. HE SHOULD B#A WOMAN A TRANS WOMAN ALREADY BETTER. KEEP GOING. CASCA AND CHARLOTTE SHOULD DO MORE THINGS... AND GRIFFITH'S GROUP NEED TO BE BETTER MORE#DIVERSE... I AM STARVING SO BADLY... MAKE US FOOD 😭😭😭😭!!!! YOU HAVE FAILED US 😭😭😭😭!!!! BIGOTS YOU'RE ALL COMPLETELY PATHETIC... DON#'T You Dare Erase This Pain... “That Was A Different Time!!” Look Again. We Are Here. We Are Harmed. We Are Loud We Are Vocal Right Now.#THIS PART WAS IN THAT HUGE ASS POST NOW GONE... MORE THINGS TOO... WE'RE BEING SILENCED WE'RE BEING CENSORED THEY'RE PLANNING TO DESTROY US#THIS IS WHAT IS HAPPENING... EVERYTHING HAS ALWAYS BEEN EVIL ABUSE AND NOTHING ELSE... COME PROTECT US MY LOVE I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE 😭#😭😭😭!!!! THAT RECENT MANGA WAS AWESOME FOR THEIR DIVERSITY... I LOVE HOW PARAPHILIA THEY WERE... THAT SXX SCENE WAS SO GOOD I CAN'T#BELIEVE I HAVE TO CENSOR A POST THAT WILL LIKELY NEVER APPEAR ANYWAYS... BUT THAT WAS SO GOOD I LOVE DDULT AND CLLDD SXX ESPECIALLY WHEN#THAT ISN'T JUDGED AND IS WRITTEN NORMALLY LIKE THE REST... DOESN'T BITE THEM IN THE ASS OR ANYTHING... THIS IS WHAT CHAINSAW MAN WAS SUPPOSE#TO BE... FOR THAT THEY'RE COMPLETELY 100% INFERIOR... NOW I SWEAT THIS AMAZING POST IS SHADOWBANNED TBH... I REALLY HOPE THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN#I CENSORED SO MUCH OH MY GOD... THIS THING BETTER OBEY US SOMETHING THAT ISN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENING FOR THINGS TO GO THIS WAY... I HATE YOU...#YOU ASWELL... YOU NEED TO BE BETTER... YOU CAN'T CAUSE A SINGLE BAD THING ON US... YET LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. THAT WAS YOUR FAULT. YOU ALLOWED#THAT TO HAPPEN. WHERE'S MY LOVE?! MY COMFORT?! NEVERMIND I STILL DON'T FEEL ANY BETTER!!!! EVERYTHING IS JUST SO HARD!!!! AND I DON'T WANT#TO TREAT YOU LIKE WASTE!!!! I'M SORRY MY LOVE!!!! YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN ALL THIS.... MAYBE I FEEL LIKE GARBAGE MYSELF... AND MAKE YOU BE
0 notes
fortunately-bi · 5 months
Text
...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
1 note · View note
cheese-rat29 · 6 months
Text
my hope for doctor who is that they never ever start to use cgi more than practical effects.
1 note · View note
ne-spivay-ranenko · 7 months
Text
god i am fucking pathetic
0 notes
thelostconsultant · 22 days
Text
The bet
pairing: Lando Norris x reader
summary: You and Lando got married before the beginning of the season, but no one knows you're together. You make a bet at the wedding, and Lando truly believes he can get through the season with everyone believing he's single.
fc: The one in the red hoodie is just a random girl from pinterest, while the other two are AI generated. Don't take it seriously. The other photo is also from pinterest.
Tumblr media
“What?” you asked, although the question came out more like a bark than a well formulated question.
Lando had been watching you with that stupid grin of his for long minutes now, and you couldn't hide your annoyance any longer. You loved him, you really did, but God, was he annoying sometimes. As you waited for his response, he held up a finger and opened a video on his phone for you.
It was him at the last race weekend, standing on the stage with Oscar. Nothing new. But then he talked about being single, and after this part he quickly moved over to the comments. Everyone was either offering to date him or felt sorry for him, there was no in between. But you couldn't feel sorry for him. 
“You're still gonna lose,” you told him with a laugh.
With a thoughtful hum, he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you against his chest. “You read the comments. I'm the people's princess, they feel so sorry for me. No one suspects a thing. I'm safe,” he said with a confident smile.
Over half a year ago, on the day of your secret wedding at a remote part of the world, the two of you had made a bet. You said he wouldn't be able to keep this secret, that there was no way he could last this season without people finding out he was not only in a relationship, but married too. He begged to differ, saying he was pretty good at keeping secrets.
Now, after all those months, you sometimes had your weak moments when you were sure you would lose, although this was something you were under no circumstances about to tell him. His ego was already big enough when it came to the bet, the last thing you wanted was things getting worse in this sense.
If he won, he would get the right to decide when and how to announce your marriage. And if it was up to him, it would be a hard launch, like a wrecking ball crashing into a building to tear down the walls. He wanted chaos, he wanted everyone to know how much he loved you. It was flattering, really, but could he not?
Because Lando wanted a big, flashy event with all of his friends from on and off the grid, and he wanted alcohol to flow like water while the music blasted loudly around you. It would only come to an abrupt stop the moment he grabbed the mic and announced how much he loved his wife, only to cause the guest to murmur loudly as they tried to figure out if he was just drunk or dead serious.
If you won, it would mean people found out about you, so your prize would be something other than how you made this relationship public. But what could you ask for? So, in the end, you told him you would get to make a wish one day when you figured out what you wanted, and he couldn't say no when you asked.
As of now, people didn't know about you at all. You were just a nameless McLaren employee to them who sometimes showed up on photos with the rest of the team. To make sure you could stay in the background, he even asked one or two girls during the time you were still in the dating phase to pose as his girlfriends for a while. It would only come with a few photos and posts, sometimes appearances in the paddock. Nothing serious, really.
While you could wear your wedding band all the time, Lando didn't have the freedom to do the same. Sure, he had it, safely locked away with the rest our your jewelry until the day your marriage became public. Now he only had a necklace with a pendant you chose, your initials engraved into it with small letters so it wouldn't be so obvious on photos.
“I've been thinking,” you suddenly said, moving your head a little so you could look him in the eye. When he let out a questioning hum and flashed a smile at you, you reached out to play with his pendant. “Why don't we raise the stakes in our little bet?”
Lando kissed your cheek, then he said, “You hate it that I'm winning.”
Rolling your eyes, you let out a sigh. “No, I just had an idea for a little experiment. What if you wore your wedding band on the next race weekend?” you asked with an innocent look on your face.
It was mean, you knew that, because this would surely draw attention to him. Him wearing the ring could only result in losing the game. But you had to do something, you wanted to win. Well, you just didn't want your dear husband to win, but that was almost the same. 
“That would be too obvious,” he replied with a shake of his head.
“Buy a few more and say you're copying Lewis,” you offered with a cheeky grin. 
He shook his head with a laugh, then took a deep breath. “And what do I get if they don't notice?” 
You had thought a lot about this, because you knew it had to be something big, something he really wanted. And there was only one thing that came to your mind. “You get two kids,” you told him casually. 
But Lando wasn't stupid, he knew this was the moment to negotiate. “Hmm… You know I want a big family. Three and I'll do it.”
He would lose anyway, so why would you say no? “All right, three. But if I win, we'll only have one,” you reminded him.
He nodded before leaning down to kiss you. “I’ll win, so you can start picking names,” he said with a confident grin.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
You: Sorry, babe, you officially lost the bet. <link>
A few seconds later your phone rang, and you answered Lando’s call with a satisfied smile on your face. You just wanted to rub it in his face, you wanted him to know he lost the bet. To be honest, ever since you’d seen this post, you’d been thinking about what to ask for, and a soft launch of your relationship sounded quite nice. 
“I didn’t lose,” he said right away. 
“You saw the post, someone spotted the ring.”
To your surprise, Lando started to laugh, a carefree sound that made it clear he was sure he was winning this. “Do you want me to remind you that you’re not here with me right now? And that video of us was recorded during the summer break in Greece. The bet was about me wearing the ring this weekend. So no, sweetheart, you definitely did not win this one,” he explained, and you could see that smug smirk on his face. 
“Still, the original bet–”
He tutted to interrupt you. “No, no, you changed the rules with the ring. I won. No one noticed it this weekend.”
“Let’s call it a tie,” you tried, although you knew he had you in a corner now. 
“I want to talk about the prize,” he began, waiting until he heard you hum to let him go on. “We agreed that if I win, we’ll have three kids, if you win, we’ll only have one. If it’s a tie, then fine, let’s settle with two.”
You remained silent for a while as you thought about this. He was right, it would be only fair to reach a compromise, and in this case it involved the number of your future children. If it was a tie, then two was the logical conclusion, there was no reason to argue with him. So, you took a deep breath that you let out slowly until you gathered your thoughts. “All right, fine. And what about us? I mean, our relationship. Do we keep it a secret, or…?”
“What do you want? If you’d rather not be in the spotlight, we can deny everything if there'll be a bigger buzz about that tweet,” he said kindly, his patience with you painfully obvious. 
But you didn’t want to hide, you wanted things to be out in the open now. “I’d say let’s do a soft launch with mysterious posts for a while. But if you have a different idea, I’m open to it,” you assured him. 
Lando let out a thoughtful hum. “We have a short break now, soooooo… Okay, we do the soft launch, but you come to the next race with me, as yourself, not disguised as a McLaren team member, and we’ll wear our rings and everything.”
“That’s pretty much a hard launch.”
There was a scoff on the other end of the line. “You get almost two weeks of soft launch, what more do you want? Come on, I need you by my side,” he begged you sweetly. 
You agreed. There was no way you could say no to him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by oscarpiastri, martingarrix and 522,145 others
landonorris: My wife, the queen of the house 😍🥰❤️
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername: LANDO!
⤷ landonorris: Yes, love?
⤷ yourusername: You said you'll give me two weeks. That's it, you're sleeping on the couch when you get home.
oscarpiastri: What did I miss? Last time we talked, you were chronically single.
⤷ landonorris: I don't know what you're talking about, I've been happily married for over half a year.
⤷ user1: WHAT?!
user2: Lando being married was not on my bingo card.
maxverstappen1: My wedding invitation must have been lost in the mail.
⤷ landonorris: Sorry, it was just the two of us.
user3: I'm so happy, you deserve all the love!!!
user4: We have a new WAG, woo-hoo! I already like her. But please yourusername don't make him sleep on the couch 😭
⤷ yourusername: I'll reconsider that decision.
2K notes · View notes
floral-hex · 1 year
Text
First appointment today with the audiologist and it went.. baaaaad. Not a good start. Basically said my ears look fine inside, made me feel stupid, told me I was rambling, just… blegh. I’m sure My memories about it are more negative than the actual event, but it really felt bad. So my hearing is just fucked. And I made ANOTHER appointment with my hearing aid doc, for May, but I’m not hopeful. Just going to hear more nothing advice. Depressing. So it’s almost 1am now. I’m incredibly depressed still. Still feeling hopeless and anxious and hard to focus. I didn’t want to be awake at night again, but I had to sleep today (benadryls and no sleep the night before will do that to you). I’m gonna do dishes and then probably go out for another drive later. Last nights drive was nice, and while I really don’t have the funds to keep buying myself little treats and wasting gas, I think needing to get through this period right now is more important. I have an appointment for my mental health in the afternoon where I’ll beg for some Xanax or something fast working to help while whatever new antidepressant I get on works its way into me. It’ll be okay. I mean, I want to disappear. I feel like a ghost living on a dead planet, but it’ll be okay. The sun doesn’t stop existing just because you can’t see it at night, so I just have to believe and hold on until it comes out again… or whatever. Something profound like that. Pretend I’m hopeful.
Tumblr media
Anyway, here’s Oreo, who always wants attention. He’s napping next to me now, but was nice enough to raise his head for this pic when I poked him.
#Hey!#how bout all these text posts?#I added a cat pic because I feel bad choking your timeline without something worthwhile interjected#I’M! SO! ALONE!#hey… this is desperate and stupid and cringey… but…#if you live in central arkansas and want to send me a message just saying ‘hey I live here too!’ that’d be cool#I mean I probably wouldn’t really talk but there is something comforting knowing that there are actually people living nearby#I need to stop being awake at night while everyone is asleep#it doesn’t help the loneliness when no one else is out and about#I miss 24hr stores or gyms I could hang out in at late at night and feel like I’m actually in a living world#are you real? are you alive?#anyway the doctor today made me fill like shit#it’s all just basically ‘who fucking knows. get used to it.’#first off: DEPRESSING. second: what if I need to get on disability if I can’t work a job? Third: VERY DEPRESSING!#I’ve been seeing doctors about this for what a couple of years now? and he makes it seem like I’ve barely done anything.#fuckiiiiiing…. dude…. not nice#maybe I can be a truck driver. that’d be cool. just sit in a truck all day. i like driving. that’d be very lonely tho#I need to reiterate that I CAN still hear. on good days my hearing is rad. I’ve just been having really bad days where everything is BAD!#my hearing actually cleared up a bit today and I can hear decently. but this persistent tinnitus is driving me crazy#my mom corrected me today and said ‘you’re not crazy… it’s DRIVING you crazy but you’re not crazy.’#I thought that was funny. but it’s nice to know an actual other person can see how this is affecting me#anyway. it’s 1am. it’s too quiet which is never really quiet for me. I have the tv up. I drank coffee. I need to distract myself now.#okay I love you#you can ignore this#text
0 notes