#its just a fun mental health cocktail of an anxiety disorder a hint of depersonalisation and seasonal affective disorder
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#most of the time i think im not depressed#its just a fun mental health cocktail of an anxiety disorder a hint of depersonalisation and seasonal affective disorder#but then................ theres definitely been a whole year i was depressed#and then a few other longer periods of time that were particularly dark#i dont know i never got diagnosed and once was due to a burnout#but what im trying to say#is that the past four months of constant anxiety#have hurtled me into something VERY closely resembling depression again#and idk how much of it is due to quarantine#but im terrified#i was finally doing better but everything is too much all the time now?#fuck man#fuck#and it feels stupid now to make a post about this because on a world scale theres terrible things happening#heartbreaking things#but thats just feeding the darkness for me rn so yknow#i have no joy in anything i cant find joy in anything#and when i think about the state of the world that makes joy entirely impossible especially#i just#jesus#help
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