#and i've come to realize the vast majority of people i'm in community with just do not feel the same

[calronhunt]

If you're comfortable sharing, what's the reason behind your despise for wc? Is it more connected to the reappearing irresponsibility of its writing or the vindictive horde of the fandom?...

I am certain that the nostalgia for warrior cats and my childish awe for the fandom a decade back is what holds me back as an artist and perhaps even a person. But I have not figured out how to fight it yet.

I have read some of your older posts on this but would be glad to hear your opinion, whether a hate one or whatever

I'm going to say a lot of sweeping mean statements about warrior cats fans and I hope everyone can be smart enough to realize that obviously i don't mean every single one. okay? okay.

There's a lot of factors in regards to my hate. It is primarily the fandom/the people who read it though (but also the books are just genuinely bad lemme make that clear)

The fandom is genuinely garbage and I consider GENUINELY harmful (in part is personal shit that certain people in the fandom have done to me/people I care about that makes canon warrior cats kind of a trigger for me (dw asker you didn't by asking this)). The warrior cats fandom has an insane grooming/being inappropriate with minors problem, with a lot of popular adults at the head who are either genuinely malicious actors or are too emotionally immature and stupid to know how to properly interact with minors in a fandom space for a book series Made For Children. People are okay to engage with stuff that's made for kids as an adult, but you HAVE to realize that it's not made for you and you HAVE to actually care to not be fucking weird with the minors who predominantly are in the space.

As well, I just strongly believe that warrior cats ruined a large generation's ability to like. engage with a story and write a story. Warrior cats people seem to only read warrior cats books or similar children's books (like wings of fire) so they only consume written media through the lends of like. One of the worst book series ever written which was, once again, written for children. Like warrior cats is just fucking bad. The first arc was mid at best, everything else has been hot steaming garbage. There are no themes, there are large chunks of the books where nothing happens bc they have 6 books in an arc to fill and they never have enough material to fill that, events simply Just Happen for no rhyme or reason half the time, and they are also INSANELY misogynistic, ableist, and racist. And people read that and then they think "oh this is what a story must be like" so they go off and they write slop exactly like warrior cats but maybe with "abuse" slapped onto it to make it seem more deep and like you're actually saying something this time (and the abuse is never written in a more complex way then "this guy is mean is bad let's kill him"). And everyone will suck their dick bc everyone else ALSO only reads warrior cats so they're like "well this slop is slightly better than this other slop!"

At this point in my life, it's more the meaning that warrior cats holds in my mind that makes me hate it more than anything else. All it symbolizes to me is a group of stunted emotionally immature adults who don't wanna grow up or engage with anything made for their age demographic bc it will challenge them in a way that'll make them uncomfortable. I've seen wc adults in their 20s say they don't wanna engage with adult books bc "they're all about affairs and having sex" which is shit i said when i was like 12. I've seen wc adults in their 20s recommend someone read wings of fire instead of his high fantasy adult gay novel that the person just couldn't get into. They're just children masquerading as adults and it all leads back to warrior cat's fault, or at least that's where my mind has put all the blame.

and that's why i despise warrior cats <3 My genuine recommendation to get better as an artist/writer/whatever is just to engage with a whole bunch of different media if you want to improve as a writer and also as an analysist. Think about "what are the themes that this is presenting to me" when you read a story, think about the elements of a story that you DO like and why you like them, think about why you don't like other elements. just genuinely engage with art that you're presented with and think about it.

[5ummit]

New Mature Content Warning Overlay (And How to Get Rid of It)

More fun community label "features"! Unlike the new mandatory label for #NSFW, this one is a bigger deal to me because it affects my entire blog and it can't be avoided by just using a different tag.

Apparently on custom blog layouts, if you happen to post or reblog even a SINGLE post that's been flagged with the mature content community label, a full-page warning overlay will appear blurring out your entire blog that must be manually clicked through every single time the page is refreshed. At first I thought this was just a bug due to my older layout but I've come to realize it's not. It's a feature (as confirmed by this recent changes post) that affects all custom themes. The formatting will vary based on your own theme but here's what it looks like on my blog:

I don't know about you but I find this is stupid and annoying. If it could be dismissed once and never seen again that might be one thing, but that's not the case. The vast majority of my blog is not "mature" enough to warrant such an aggressive and invasive warning. I also think pop-ups are obnoxious in general and I'll be damned if tumblr's going to force me to have one on MY blog.

After some desperate googling for a known workaround and being unable to find even a single mention of it, I decided to take on the challenge myself. I'm not a theme coder, so apologies if there's a better way to do this, but luckily it only took me like 10 minutes to figure out a simple fix, which I'm now sharing with anyone else who may want it:

.community-label-cover__wrapper {display: none}

Just copypaste that somewhere in your CSS and goodbye pop-up!

If you're not sure how to access your theme code, check out this help article. You can also add the code via the Advanced Options menu, which is actually even better (if you can get it to work, it depends on how your theme was coded), because it will then automatically be reapplied to a lot of themes without having to remember to manually add it every time if you change your theme in the future.

Obviously this will only remove it from your own blog for anyone who may visit it. If you never want to see this warning again on other people's blogs you can also add this custom filter to your ad block:

tumblr.com##.community-label-cover__wrapper

Unfortunately I do not have an easy tutorial on hand for this one as the method will depend on your specific ad block app or extension.

Some additional notes:

After adding the theme code and saving the changes, give it a minute to update as it sometimes takes a little while for the page to refresh.

The warning overlay only seems to appear if a "mature" post is on the FIRST page of your blog, which is still annoying and makes the whole thing even more pointless and stupid because what if someone visits any other page of your blog, and oh no, happens to see "mature" content they weren't warned about?!

The warning also appears on direct links to "mature" posts.

This hack has NOTHING to do with entire blogs that have been flagged as NSFW. It only works for non-flagged blogs with custom themes that happen to have individual "mature" posts.

[atricksterproblem]

I want to make one thing absolutely crystal clear as I start posting about a new-to-me bit of media.

I've seen a lot of people going on about how one of the creators of Blue Eye Samurai, Michael Green, is a "Zionist". Naturally they're all using the definition of Zionist that a lot of non-Jews have been trying to impose on it recently as opposed to the actual real definition that Jews have been using all this time prior to people losing their damn minds after Oct. 7.

From what I've been able to find, the posts of his that led to all of this whining amounted to "Release all the hostages" and "Maybe stop coming up with reasons why it's OK to kill Jews".

And somehow multitudes of people found those ideas OBJECTIONABLE.

I have gone way beyond my absolute limit of watching the world normalize antisemitism. Make no mistake, that's what is happening here. If you're someone who thinks its OK to boycott Blue Eye Samurai on the basis of what I've covered above, find a different blog to follow. We don't do that here. It's disgusting and I'm SICK of Jewish creators being treated like shit for no reason whatsoever.

This is not up for discussion or debate. I have found, after watching many many threads full of discourse, that people who object to "Zionists" are largely not acting in good faith. They don't want to listen to Jews on this topic at all.

I've already had to withdraw from fandoms and other online communities because I watched them descend into anti-Jewish mania recently. I don't think all of these people even realize that's what they're doing, but the vast majority of them don't want to hear it when it's pointed out and information is provided.

In any case, I'm done. If you are the kind of person who supports Hamas and other terrorist organizations, thinks it's OK to advocate for the destruction of Israel, thinks that it's OK if the hostages never go home, doesn't care that Jews worldwide are being harassed and attacked who have nothing to do with the Israeli government, and wants to change the definition of "Zionist" to "person who supports genocide/killing babies" or even just "Jew I don't agree with", this is not the blog for you. I'm not interested in arguing with anybody, just block me and go away.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanblogging, posts about crafts, and random bits of shiny things that interest me.

[radixxfem]

i would consider myself a radical feminist also and i agree with the vast majority of your views. honestly i am just curious why you think aromantic/asexual people don't exist or shouldn't be labeled. i don't mean this as hate i'm honestly curious to know if it is part of most radical feminist views

if you can accept someone who is lesbian, and knows for themselves that they aren't at all attracted to men, why would you not accept someone who realizes both that they aren't attracted to men and they aren't attracted to women? (obviously very different identities and experiences i'm just wondering why some people can be trusted to know who they're not attracted to and others can't)

Hello anon, thank you for asking so kindly.

I am going to try and explain what my personal opinion on the topic is, as well as I can, and please keep in mind that I don't speak for the radical feminist community but just for my own views.

First of all, the definitions I have read of both terms (aromantic and asexual) so far aren't really specific, differ from each other at times and leave open room for interpretation. The gendies meanwhile continue to preach "everything means something different to each person" and "it is a broad spectrum" just like they do with gender, which according to them is so complicated and unfathomable that you have to ask each person identifying with it seperately, to know what their gender means to them.

The first thing that comes up when I google the definition of both terms displayed below (just as an example of what I mean):

Like, what do "sexual feelings" all include and to which extent does "little romantic attraction" go?

I do think that people who fit the mainstream criterias for being asexual or aromantic exist, I am not trying to say that it is naturally impossible to experience no sexual or aromantic attraction to anyone. I do think it is really really rare for this to authentically occur though, and that a lot of people identifying with these labels have experienced some kind of trauma or are doing it because it has become a trend.

The thing I most dislike about these labels are not only their inconsistency in definitions but also how much they are starting to get pushed online = trend. In my personal experience I have seen not only online but also offline how younger kids and teens start to pick up on these labels without knowing what they truly mean, because they are "cool" and just like gender it is starting to become a similar trend. Seeing who publicly identifies as those labels, it is again mostly the demographic of teenagers who are going puberty and the several different, crucial developmental phases that come with that.

Since you are asking if this is a common radfem belief, I cannot say. There surely is a variety of opinions, however I have seen some good takes from which I remember being said that a person doesn't need the label of "asexuality" or "aromanticism" as an excuse to not participate in dating culture or to not engage in sexual relations. It should just be common sense to not ask strangers about their dating lives and not ask "why" if they say they are not dating or having sex as if it was something unusual.

Also answering to your last question of "why I don't trust those people to know who they are attracted or not attracted to" is not what I am trying to do insinuate by questioning/criticizing the labels they use to describe said attraction. It is not about me trying to say "I don't believe you, you are lying" it is "why do you need those labels". I just don't think it adds anything valuable to society and it's getting more mainstream each day. Now even with teenagers using those labels when they haven't had the time to figure out themselves as a person yet. It just looses its meaning.

I've seen women going through long periods without having partners (radfems participating in male seperatism for example) being asked "oh, so you're asexual, right?" or "oh, so you're unable to form a romantic connection?" because people start assuming, forgetting that there are so so many reasons why people might not have partners or might not want to.

Again, people who truly are not experiencing any sexual desire or romantic desire are really rare but through so many people mindlessly adopting the label it looses it's meaning because it gets more broad in definition and everyone continues to define it for themselves. "Yeah, I am asexual but sometimes I have sex. Like once a month but that's barely enough so I must be asexual." Like... you might just have a low libido and that's totally okay! Why do you feel the need to label yourself as asexual? Is it easier because of your partner's expectations, maybe? Is a simple no not enough for them?

"I'm 15 and I haven't had a crush on anyone so far. I actually think boys/girls are ew and I can't imagine kissing anyone, like ew saliva. Also the girls/boys in my class are so annoying!!" And no, I've heard statements like this several times before. I mean, give yourself some time you're only 15.

Why do we always have to slap a label on top of everything and why can't we just go through life saying "yeah at the moment I really don't feel like having a partner, I don't want to date or have sex. Maybe that will change someday, maybe not and either way it's okay, I'm open for change. " but we have to say "oh yes, I'm an asexual aromantic without doubt and that won't change, that's my identity" and then when that changes we get an identity crisis realising that oh, maybe that wasn't me? Who am I now?

It all boils down to me not being able to take those labels seriously anymore, which is why I reacted so sarcastically in the post you're probably referring to, where I talked sarcastically about those terms.

"labels are different for anyone"

like no.. to define means to limit, to define means to exclude people who don't meet those criterias and that's okay, that's what makes labels and words meaningful = contributing to a conversation of mutual understanding instead of having to first discuss what each person means by using one and the same word.

Like I can't go outside in a clothing store saying "oh I want a red dress" and when she shows me a red dress I then say "oh that's not red for me, that's yellow by my own definition." How do you expect everyone to effectively communicate by leaving the option open for everyone to seperately define one single term??

But as we know, the gendies aren't fans of definitions.

[jewish-sideblog]

I've been studying the basics of Jewish history as I prepare to convert and something I've realized that this narrative of Ashkenazi Jews being descended from European converts is a complete and total fabrication from antisemites. It is physically not possible because of how much Jewish conversion and interfaith marriage (for lack of a better word) were violently criminalized and prosecuted throughout Europe until very, very recently.

Where are all these all at these supposed European converts ancestors coming from? The countries where conversion was punishable by death for both the convert and the Jewish community they were joining?

People need to face the facts, do their research, and realize that the modern state of Judaism in countries like the US is absolutely the outlier not just in most of the rest of the world currently, but also for nearly the entirety of global Jewish history.

This is one of those rare instances when, as a sociologist, I'm very happy to defer to an exclusive hard-science approach to understanding an issue. Because we don't just have to ask where all these supposed European converts came from-- we can use genetic studies to outright prove they never existed! There are literally thousands of studies on the subject, and I'll drop a few down here:

1 2 3 4 5 6

All of those genetic studies show that while there is some European influence on Ashkenazi genes, that influence has little to no impact on the overall Ashkenazi gene pool-- and that the vast majority of Ashkenazic genetic markers suggest a Middle Eastern origin. Most of those studies also suggest that other Jewish ethnic subgroups, like Sephardim and Mizrahim, are nearly genetically indistinguishable from Ashkenazim. Denial of Ashkenazic origins in the Levant, presumably due exclusively to a lowered melanin count, is a denial of scientific fact. I wish I could drill that into people's brains.

Wishing you a meaningful and safe conversion, חבר!

[kpopwerewolf]

I came across this in the comments on a YouTube video:

[ID: A screenshot of a conversation that reads as follows:

User 1: Please don't use the word "delulu". It's incredibly disrespectful to those with psychotic & schizospec disorders and the term was specifically created to mock delusions. It's extremely trivializing as it waters down "delusion" to "believing a fantasy" rather than what it actually is (a very serious and often terrifying and traumatizing experience, such as believing that you're being stalked)

User 2: Idc

User 1: I know not everyone is bothered by it, but a vast majority of the community (at least from what I've seen) does [bolded for emphasis] care. [line break] If you're find with others using the term or if you even use it yourself to describe your own experiences/symptoms, then more power to you, but others in the community have been asking people to stop using this term. [line break] It's very upsetting and even triggering to some, myself included, and it's additionally upsetting when people are dismissive of the distress it causes.

User 2: I ain't reading allat [a slangy spelling of "all that"]

// End ID]

(I hope I formatted it okay; I've never made an ID for a conversation before, so I wasn't really sure what the preferred way to to present it was)

I find this very frustrating. User 1 is explaining why the term "delulu" is hurtful and User 2 is just blatantly dismissing it all. (Which ironically enough is mentioned by User 1 in the previous message)

Just. Why do people think it's okay to act like this? Someone is taking the time to explain something to others -- obviously due to something said in the video -- and User 2 comes along and just starts being rude about it.

I just don't get it. I can understand people using the term before they realize the history and the hurt it causes, but this is just-

There are no words to describe how much it hurts to see people actively dismissing the schizospec community when we try to speak up about this

(I'm tagging this with "delulu" for those who filter the tag because the term alone causes distress)

[velvetvexations]

Oh btw about predatorjacketing and kinkshaming trans people;

This is generally going on among modern fandoms and among young queer and trans adults outside of just transfems.

I've seen plenty of non-transfeminine nonbinary and transmasculine folk get hunted down and harassed over cartoon porn they draw. I don't know in detail if it's more frequent or violent towards transfeminine folk (it could be, - given how mainstream transmisogyny relates to the gay or gnc men as predators myth).

I'm transmasc and I don't have a NSFW art platform at all because I'm THAT scared of people finding it, associating it with my mains and then slandering me over it. I can not find community around my kinks etc. because I feel unsafe to discuss that with the vast majority of people. And yes, my transness is a factor. I always feel that it if I was a feminine cis woman I would be seen as cute and innocent. I have a very deep instinctive feeling that my transness to many people represents a sexual threat and that it's easier to demonize me over kinks bcs I stick out too much etc.

Even in a women's changing room I feel that my masculinity is in this stark direct contrast with most people I share that space with, - that I have to be really careful of how I move, where I look and how I come across. I have felt for my whole life, even when being a fem presenting teen, that I am clocked as a boy thing that doesn't belong there. Now on T, with boobs... I also have to avoid talking in those changing rooms. In the company of really fem presenting cis women I feel socially and culturally hypersexualized for my deviant masculinity, for being an apparent dyke in the midst of women. I have cptsd from being around feminine people because of how othered I am + some experiences of being subtly ruled out of the Girls TM club.

Being a sexual being with my kinds of sexual interests while having this experience as a transmasculine person is something quite vulnerable and difficult to fully become confident in and love oneself about. I think transandrophobia and transmisogyny have that whole "you're a predatory impostor among women" thing and "you emasculate straight cis men by existing" thing in common... Just from a slightly diff. angle but there's so much similiarity.

A lot of the chronic policing between transmasc people over kink and sexuality is actually a result of internalizing the idea that we are dirty masculine predators. There is a high social pressure to be cute, feminized, sanitized and say "PROSHIT DNI >:/" because transmascs have an instinctive self-awareness of how we're easily thrown to the wolves when our gender-nonconformity or sexuality is no longer cute and Christian Values Friendly enough.

Being terrified to death about some kind of predatorjacketing over writing fanfic or drawing weird cartoon porn isn't exclusive to transfems. Any transmasc person encaging in fandom or any online art subcultures is waaayyy too intimately aware of this fact 24/7.

Oh and? Transmasc people with feminine partners who are tops / encage in some kind of roleplay where they're in the 'aggressing' role are extremely stigmatized too. I see people instantly write this off as toxic masculinity or inherently gross because a transmasc does it.

A lot of transmascs (speaking from experience) who actually prefer these "scary" roles in fantasy etc., feel social pressure to over-emphasize how bottom uwu sluts we are. I've recently stopped doing this because I realized it makes me dysphoric + I only do it to make my sexuality more palatable to other people. And I see so many transmascs as like... Having to reduce themselves to these cute slut boytoys. While I fully believe this is the authenthic preference of many of them, I think as a transmasc there is a strong social pressure to be /that way/ because being seen as Gross Threatening Men is like a social death sentence.

(there's a lot of good discussion about everything on this blog btw and I love to read it. I just wanted to add 2 cents to the anti kink vs trans people discussion.)

I don't think there's any difference literally at all between how transfem and transmasc sexuality is "handled" by the internet. People have it in their head that everything is an exact 1-1 of everything else so the fact that a trans woman is more likely to be visibly tagged as a pervert just for walking down the street (transmasc members of Velvet Nation please let me know if that's inaccurate) gets transferred to the internet as though everyone treats trans men who have being trans in their bio as the first thing everyone sees as cis men.

At most TERFs might report trans women more often and I don't want to downplay the seriousness of that but get fucking real if one doesn't think trans men aren't under constant scrutiny.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/752012756722614272/some-people-seem-to-have-something-against?source=share

I think a lot of people justify to themselves because there are gay people who have histories of dating the opposite gender before coming out, and there can be a weird reductive attitude fandom can take that anyone who has had relationship with people of multiple genders who doesn't meet a minimum level of "trauma" cannot be anything other than bi. Something that I can't stand as a gay person who fits that bill (had relationships with men before coming out as a lesbian, wasn't traumatized by them but just realized I wasn't into them in the way I was with women). But like, again, as that type of gay person, I think that's a ridic response by those other people in their fandom to what anon is talking about because:

there's a big difference between doing that with CANONICALLY bisexual characters - and let's not pretend that writers having characters casually talk about exes of the opposite gender from their current love interest the way people usually talk about their exes (NOT indicating some change of identity with it) isn't in fact signalling that - and doing it with a straight/unmarked-but-clearly-we-want-you-to-assume-they're-straight-by-default character. The latter I think are fair game for queer fandom to read however, and that's where I get irritated when well-reasoned meta for gay headcanons from people who clearly aren't uncomfortable with bi headcanons for other characters they like (and are often bi themselves) gets conflated with biphobia. But with the former.... idk, the idea of taking away representation from another marginalized group just really does not sit right with me, and I'm going to be more inclined to read that in a negative way and wonder WHY they're inclined to make that argument

Let's not pretend there isn't a whole lot of biphobia in the gay and lesbian communities and that a lot of justifications that people come up with are not in fact designed as a smokescreen for that. Like if they keep making this same excuse for EVERY character I'm really going to at some point suspect it's biphobia. I've seen people I gave the benefit of the doubt to the first time but it was the same arguments for EVERY character where that was ANY possible reading and like after a certain point you've just gotta wonder!

I also just think it's worth asking what a specific label or another gets you in these cases. There are some different experiences that gay vs. bi people have but it's not worlds apart in the way that some people talk about it, and I'm not sure why in the vast majority of shipping and romantic fanfics you necessarily need to establish that someone is JUST gay and has NO interest in the opposite gender, as opposed to just interested in this particular person (and the rest of their attraction just isn't mentioned because it's not relevant). I feel like so much of this shit in fandom these days from people who do the sort of thing this anon was talking about other people doing are from these young lesbians who are very online and buy into terf-adjacent shit about lesbian culture and experience being this super special separate thing from bi woman culture and like, girls, it's not true. If you go into any real life "lesbian" space you'll meet a ton of bi women too and that's how it should be! Because it's just a "women attracted to women" space and we have that in common. The idea that they're two separate non-overlapping communities is so online and is rooted in biphobia (and often other shitty bigotries like transphobia)

--

[doxolove]

Loneliness-

(tw: mental health, trauma)

I started using the Internet at a young age to cure the loneliness around me. My parents were absent, I was incessantly bullied from second to sixth grade in elementary school. Being part of the county's first Spanish immersion program meant my bullies continued to be in my class every year.

The only thing they couldn't bully me over was art. They were nice to me when they wanted a power ranger or a Pokemon drawing– so it became a valuable tool for me to use.

I've used fandom and art most of my life to heal my own volatile attachment wounding. In conjunction to that, I developed severe codependency of anyone who gave me any time of day… It wasn't until I found myself again and again that being a ‘doormat’ for other people was/is exhausting. It wasn't until my best friend at the time said they used that to their advantage on purpose, that I started to feel disgusted at all.

Even after realizing this, I was still suffering from unchecked mental pain and trauma that I wasn't specially aware of. I let myself get into situations where this pain clashed severely against others around me. My pain in turn made me an ugly person.

I started to get help. I finally was diagnosed with depression and type 2 diabetes. The overwhelming exhaustion clouding me all hours of the day wasn't just my own apathy, it was an a1c of eleven, the cusp of a diabetic coma. This shook me to my core. With regular doctor visits and psychiatric evaluation, I finally have been able to regulate my blood sugar and non existent serotonin levels. Doing so shook me out of other things I was still doing. Things that still hurt me and those around me.

Not being aware of how bad I was at coping with my own traumas was a reality hard learned. I've lost so many friends from this negligence… But also? Lost more ‘friends’ when the free ride of using me as a doormat was over. That persons will try to punish you for setting boundaries. That it's your fault they can't cope with their own trauma a more healthy way.

That's fucking bullshit.

Everyone is exhausting. Dealing with yourself and your own traumas? Exhausting. But what came down as a more harsh reality, is that empathy for this doesn't exist in most people. That empathy itself, is something most will never achieve. I've always wondered why not very many want to understand why conflict actually exists, what two sides of an argument look like. What acknowledgement of miscommunication actually is. It's really sad. When things like purity policing, smear campaigning and becoming a flying monkey still exist? Nobody has actually grown out of bullying being a normal fucked up thing humans do to each other instead of communicating properly.

So it's come full circle– but I at least know why it's happening now. Strangers will find any excuse to push their own unchecked pain onto someone else, instead of resolving a core issue. There are people in this world who will never realize their pain will never be relieved from the unhealthy dismissal of responsibility for their own health and how they treat others.

Do I use the Internet to cure my loneliness still? Hell no. Does a vast majority still do? Yes. You can still meet genuine people through it, through community and play– but it's still your responsibility to make sure the way you cope with your own traumas doesn't become someone else's problem.

I no longer use my art to cure loneliness either– probably for the first time since I was very young. I'm unsure if I still want to put additional thoughts out in the open after being bullied off a platform– but I've always put them here. So this will probably be the last time I post them in the void.

I treasure everyone who's taken time to cure my loneliness for any brief moment of time, I still hold that close to my heart. I apologize for the pain miscommunication has caused between some of us, even if it's not my apology to give. So many met me while I was suffering and in a lot of pain… Your kindness gave me hope I'd find means to it's end. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to cope with my own traumas then.

I'm in a far better place now. I'm happy to exist along side people who genuinely love me. People who have proven communication can solve everything and not being afraid to be real and vulnerable. I am so very happy to be alive with them.

I have found value in myself, I've worked so very hard to understand my own traumas and shortcomings. Loving people in my life have taught me much better ways to cope. I'm still growing and learning, that will never stop.

Will I still share art online? Maybe. There's not a big desire to, nor will the urge to join communities ever surface again– generation gaps time and time again have proven so dangerous and disappointing. If I share art it's for the sake of sharing what gives me joy, there's no ulterior purpose anymore.

I would hope everyone will come this far and find healthy ways to cope and be happy, I know we all can do it if we believe we can.

[lexsang]

Could you recommend sources about sanguinarian vampirism? I tried to look for it but most recommend books seem to be published by sketchy/charlatan authors and it makes doubtful if they are genuine or not (besides some of them have very prejudiced views towards sang).

Videos, podcasts, articles, sites or books are all welcome recommendations and I would be very grateful if you had them.

Thank you very much!

(Sorry for how long it took for me to get back to you, the past few weeks have been hectic to say the least, but I've been thinkin about this ask since you sent it) My main issue with the vast majority of content on sanguinarian vampirism out there is that it is made by people who are just interested in vampires, and have no actual experience living through the things we live through. They often times come off as halloween-spooky, and inauthentic, with an emphasis on shock factor for an audience that doesn't understand that we really do actually exist.

Books are definitely not the place to look from my experience if you're interested in learning about sanguinarian vampirism. They are one of the best places if you're wanting to learn about psychic vampirism or vampiric witchcraft, but they're not for the blood drinkers.

Videos can be good learning material, but I haven't seen any on sanguinarianism that aren't just people talking about their experiences in the community, and it can get fairly full of unnecessary drama and zero useful info quick. I used to watch videos from the creator below, though I personally didn't get much out of them, but that may not be the case for you. Most of the videos are on psychic vampirism, but there are a few on sanguinarianism if I'm remembering correctly.

With Podcasts, I'm sure there are a number of one offs on paranormal podcasts if you look hard enough, but the time is most likely not worth it. The link below is one of the best I have seen, a series of great interviews with real vampires (I was lucky enough to be one of them, though that's not why I suggest this series), and the second is a youtube channel called Coffin Lounge (I would link, but youtube is being weird), which could be good, but I don't now yet. I have only listened to a little bit of the first episode, and it is more goth community centered than vamp, but there may be good stuff since since each episode is with a new guest.

Sites are the best bet so far, with forums being one of the best places to look imo.

Sanguinarius.org and their connected forum, VCMB.org were where I first realized I wasn't alone, and wasn't crazy. The biggest benefit of forums like this one, is that you are, without a doubt, listening to real people's experience, and seeing real vamps figure it out for themselves. There is so much information in the VCMB, even though it isn't very active anymore, the experiences are still there.

theredcellar.com has also been a personal favourite for ages. It is full of plenty of articles that focus on the medsang perspective, and it is home to some really down to earth vamps who are all wonderful. They also have a forum, as well as a discord that is linked on their site.

The absolute best teachers, however, are just regular old vampires. You will learn more in a few hours than you could hope to learn in months from articles and the sporadic info online by sending someone a message and asking if they have the capacity to answer your questions. Whether you are an awakening vamp looking for advice, or just interested in the real, visceral experience that vampires live through, most are kind and willing to share. Everyone's experience is different, and speaking to multiple people will help you realize just how colourful and varied the world of vampirism is.

And if you are a vampire, I know that this is cliché, but experience is a great teacher. So much of vampirism, from what I've seen and experienced myself, is about trying to run away from the vampiric experience, and be as human as possible. It has stopped being about that for me. Manage your health of course, and don't go without feeding for too long if you can help it. Take the substitutes you need to take to control the beast when you need to take them, but feeling those cravings instead of fleeing from them is a great way to become more familiar with vampirism. No one will be able to tell you more about your vampirism than yourself. Learn to meditate in those moments of hunger. You are a vampire, it's ok to allow yourself to be just that from time to time.

I hope this was helpful! Please feel free to ask if you have any more questions, I'm more than happy to help if you feel that I can :)

[esther-dot]

If good chunks of people are refusing to see Dark Dany even after reading books and watching show, could it be grrm fault somewhere? I am not saying that he is a bad writer or Dany is a badly written character. But sometime I wonder that writing could be better. Especially related to handling of POCs in her arc and her unnecessary sexualisation. She was the one character whose show character was close to book according to author.

I don’t think he’s playing games with the audience the way D&D did. People often say the show just needed more seasons, but I think the problem was, D&D wanted Dany to be a heroine in the audience’s eyes until the moment she burned KL, so their choice there, to essentially force-perspective things by excluding dark moments from the books re-writing Tyrion, Jon, even Davos once they came onto the screen with her, that makes them “responsible” for the audience not getting Dark Dany in a way Martin is not.

If, say, they had left in Dany’s command to kill everyone wearing a tokar, and we had witnessed teenagers being slaughtered at her bidding, I think the audience would have realized the story we were watching. Or, maybe if Davos who had just lost a little girl he adored to a fire obsessed woman had cautioned Jon, or if D&D had Jon admit his fears to Sansa... There are so many things D&D could have done that would have permitted the audience to draw their own conclusions as characters responded to Dany in a more believable way, but D&D didn’t want to give away the twist. I don’t think Martin is doing that.

What he is doing is expecting readers to engage with the emotional world of characters while simultaneously exerting some judgment about larger ethical ideas. I believe agentrouka-blog has written on this. Martin is dedicated to the reader doing the work and not compromising his artistic standards, we all come to different conclusions about what his moral framework is, hence all the contradictory spec. Because of how he's written ASOIAF, and since it is so much more demanding than one might expect from genre fiction, I can't really blame the casual reader for not coming to firm conclusions about what his view is/how it all will end. It can be difficult when reading something to tell what's merely being presented to us, and what the author is endorsing (two different things!) when we don't have the end of the story.

Do I blame Martin? Well...I certainly can't criticize him for not being didactic, no one wants to read that nowawdays, but when you try to be a hands-off writer, to show not tell, all sorts of different interpretations are gonna happen. As I've tried to improve my own writing and make it more immersive, I've gotten readers upset with me as if *I* am saying something about Sansa or Jon, and I had to clarify, well, that's how they see the situation, that's how they feel, that isn't the reality of the situation, and it isn't what *I* am telling the reader to think. Now, I am not a subtle writer, and Martin is far more sly than most, and yet in my very limited experience, you can be pretty dedicated to undercutting a character's version of reality to communicate something more to a reader, and they can still miss it. If good writing is showing, if respecting your audience is assuming they'll intellectually engage rather than immediately react, I'm not sure if you can fault him for people not picking up on Dark Dany. He's trying to write literature, not spoon food people. (This of course, is with the understanding he won't pull a D&D and destroy other characters to keep the burning of KL /Dany's final descent into darkness a surprise).

Something I have lamented are his blog posts assuring people how different his books will be from the show when he has to know, the vast majority of the fans are upset about Dany's ending, are taking his words to be about Dany. He isn't being dishonest--the journey to his ending will be quite different, he does have characters that weren't in the show etc, but I think we all know how misled people will feel when we get TWOW. Still not technically his fault tho! And I should note, he did make it clear how awful slavery is in his fictional world right at the beginning of AGOT, and then he had Dany witness the slavery and rape and death that happens as a result of a war campaign and then had her use forced labor and profit off of the slave trade. It isn't his fault people have chosen to defend it and convince themselves that we aren't meant to judge her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It also isn't his fault that some of the smart fans, the dedicated fans, know Dany will burn KL, but still theorize that she is a hero who will die saving the world...ya know, after she commits mass slaughter. It isn't his fault the ASOIAF "experts" assure people Dany murdering countless civilians isn't her downfall, and is instead, a speedbump. This is the peril of mature writing, of trying to elevate the genre. You give your audience space and they may run in a…surprising direction. If he ever finishes, it will a wonderful pay-off, even if it is a headache for us Dark Dany fans. Even so, I know why other fans don't see Dark Dany. Literature is an emotional experience as well as an intellectual one. I read some of the posts about what Dany meant to abuse survivors after s8 and even though it didn’t change my mind about who she was/the fact that she had to be stopped, it did make me realize why people couldn’t fathom that she was always intended for such a fate.

I agree that Martin has issues with his writing, how he's handled POC in his world, how he has sexualized Dany in the text and how he has spoken of her in interviews…that’s on him. I do think you're onto something that if he had done more to flesh out the characters that surround Dany, people would have been clued into where it was all going. Maybe that's his thought process, if you aren't enamored with Dany, if you think of the people who suffer in order for her rise..we might be less lost in her struggle, less caught up in the moment, and perhaps he doesn't intend the reader to fully grasp it all just yet. However, I don’t think hiding Dark Dany is why she is overlysexualized or why he wrote the Dothraki the way he did. I attribute that more to the norms of the era he grew up in/the problems with the works that he was formed by.

[viveela]

your art is ❤ I wanna squeeze them to death (affectionate) also do you read sp fanfiction? if so do you have recs? 🙈

Ah thank you sm!! I'm so glad people enjoy my fanarts, I honestly didn't think my whole shift to south park posting would go this well lol I'm very glad to be proven otherwise!!

As for sp fics ...this is gonna be a long post lol.

So I have been reading some, buuut I guess I'm kinda picky...I am kind of particular about fics in general honestly. If I love something I want to see it portrayed authentically, that goes for every fandom I've been in. I know aus are fun but I want to be able to mainly consume canon compliant content, rarely do I read anything else oops. Unfortunately I've found that to be kinda hard since aging them up and doing all sorts of aus is heavily the vast majority with the sp fandom so I don't really have too many fics I personally have to recommend; just a handful that stood out to me, but I will happily share some!! They're all style and creek tho as I haven't found any I like that aren't yet, but I hope to find some for other pairs or nonromantic ones soon.

Stan x Kyle: A Ballad of True Hearts It's ongoing but really good so far! I really enjoy it, I'm a huge sucker for the fantasy look from the show/game and when it comes to aus this is like the only one I really indulge in. I really like how they're characterized and the tense dynamic they have that reflects the one seen in the current state of the series. The underlying plot has me very intrigued too! Sign of Devotion Adorable canon feeling story where their fantasy world is rarely portrayed as in the show with them simply playing pretend (which is my fav way to see it done). I loved this one to pieces and idk I just really like the idea of some feelings arising between them from trying to stay in character!! To Be More Than My Daydream I really enjoyed this one because it really nailed down how comfortable the two boys have gotten with each other's presence. I enjoy the idea of Stan taking a while to realize how his feelings changed over time and the way awareness of this slowly comes to light. It's written so tenderly and sweet it's really cute, I love the way they are here. Say it and mean it (for both our sakes) Such an awesome fic covering the distance that has grown between the two and how they're both happier when close to one another. They are both wanting and missing what they once had before but so bad at communicating this to each other until now. It was just perfect, loved it. Tweek x Craig:

Signs Point to Yes Incredibly fun fic, super in character, felt like an actual episode. The call back to the fortune teller is great. It was just such an enjoyable fic that really captured their dynamic and the struggle to save a relationship they didn't even ask for but now want. Super cute!

A Stripe of Love This fic was made before there was that much info on Stripe I believe, but it is very cute and I enjoyed it a lot. I am also always a fan for people bringing in Tweek's unofficial/official parrot into the mix, even if briefly. Overall, it's just a really sweet read.

Baby steps

Really cute exploration of how the two would feel about the awkward transition from faking to actually putting real feelings into their actions and being a little more vocal about it. Tweek's nerves are captured really nicely too.

That's all of them, hopefully my tastes in fics overlap at least a little with yours and you gain a nice read out of this!

I also plan to write some fics myself so maybe keep an eye out for that...?

[what-ive-been-reading]

Harrow the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir

One Sentence Summary:

Lobotomized nun realizes God and his Angels suck so so much.

Did I Like It?

Yes and no. I'm probably not going to read it again for a long while because of the second person writing style. Like, I GOT IT right away and I really did like what it was immediately communicating to the reader, but god damn were the third person "flashbacks" a breath of fresh air. It was like surfacing from my own personal River.

That said, Tamsyn Muir is an expert of her craft and her voice carried me through this book. On my first reading attempt right after Gideon I actually stopped reading for months because I hated the prose. Fortunately, I just couldn't stop thinking about the juicy implications and all that angst waiting for me to crack open and slurp down like so much bone marrow. It was absolutely worth it.

If you're reading the book and you don't "get" or enjoy the second person perspective: just get through it. It'll be worth it, I promise.

This book is so good it makes me feel stupider for having read it. It's like it laid bare all my inadequacies with my own writing. This is a good thing. I think it's still distinctly Upmarket, but it sure as hell isn't Commercial. Many sections are downright Literary.

In short: if you liked Gideon, you need to read it. Simple as.

Would Another Me Have Liked It?

God, probably not? There's a 50/50 chance pretentious teenage me would have thought this was either revolutionary or pretentious. It's kind of both, and that's what makes it so good. It plays it all with a straight face.

I think 17 year old me would've put it on the same shelf as House of Leaves and The Gunslinger. Do with that what you will.

Expanded Thoughts:

THE IDEA OF THE PROSE DRIPS WITH ANGST AND CONTEXT BUT UGH

Undead bees are such a cool concept and I think that it paints what could've been a very boring and samey concept (world devouring space monsters) in a really unique way. Hive structure, colony orders, cooking vibrations, and having your mind fracture when you look at them all works SO well.

Unlike the first book, the humor landed much better this time for me. Again, I still think Gideon the Ninth was funny but sometimes it tried a little too hard. I do not feel that way about Harrow the Ninth.

Much like the first book, nothing here is surprising but that's okay. Some people I talked to about reading the book seemed shocked that I had figured so much out so instantly? Like, I do find that weird but I think it's very much a reader issue rather than a writer issue. Tamsyn Muir doesn't seek to surprise you. Tamsyn Muir hangs the Sword of Damocles above your head and occasionally gestures towards it as if to say "Eh? EHHHH???" while you worry about when it will eventually fall.

For real, just read the Dramatis Personae of these books and you'll figure out like 50% of what's happening, which makes figuring out the rest while reading easy. You have Uno. It literally comes free with your XBox.

I respect Tamsyn Muir's dedication to putting these two kids through the wringer. Honestly? I hope they never meet.

I WAS absolutely wrong about the girl in the Tomb. I thought that was going to be Nona but very clearly that is not the case. Excited to see what that's all about. Surely Harrow isn't going to do anything dangerous. She's so stable. If I came to this series when it was still a trilogy, however, I would have made the same called shot and landed exactly where I intended.

Man this series loves dinner parties. I really enjoy how characters just get to breathe for the vast majority of these books. The action scenes are great and all, but that's not why I'm here.

The book plays with death so well. Genuinely the stuff in the River might be some of the most fun I've had with a fantasy setting in an extremely long time.

When they're explaining why THEY showed up in the River, I picked up on the plan and said out loud "There is no way this stupid poem is going to show up now" but then it does and it works and it was EXTREMELY impactful. Christ what a finale. Ortus, man. What an excellent expansion for a character.

Called Shots:

Have they said it's the Earth Solar System yet? I feel like maybe they have? It's very clearly Earth, right? Did they say it in Gideon and just never bring it up again? It's nine planets, dog. You really think I'll be tricked by the First House actually being the third planet? You made the Ninth Pluto.

Who's Nona? Harrow's in the river, Gideon's where she is, and there are no other Ninth House teenagers. I think we have a real One Body Problem on our hands? Although John could probably fix that Gideon issue lickity split.

The rest of the galaxy is like, normal ass people who are under constant threat from the imperialist goths. Please this would be so funny if true.

[cutiepieautistic]

Another example of how autism is a spectrum: not all people with severe(level 3) autism are nonverbal,and not all nonverbal people are level 3. My cousin brentie,is level 3 and verbal.

I also know of level 3 autistic people online,who are extremely articulate with how they type to communicate. But there is also level 3 autistic people online, who communicate with simpler sentence structures.

I myself,am semi verbal. I only verbally communicate a lot if I'm stressed,or really excited/passionate about something. And that's only if I'm physically and physiologically capable of doing so in the moment,because verbal communication is a huge strain on my brain and body. Hence why I am semi verbal,and even have total speech loss episodes.

There are also episodes where I have an alter fronting who can communicate more articulate and coherently/clearly than me,in very short bursts because they have rehearsed the conversation in our head,beforehand whilst fronting. They are smarter,and more capable than me because our abilities and challenges vary from headmate to headmate.

But however,the vast majority of the time,I communicate in a much simpler way,much like I've mentioned before.

I also know of level 2 and 1 autistic people who are nonverbal,or selectively mute.

So yes,we are not a monolith.

(Also,autistic people of all levels may communicate in a way that seems flat or uncaring or non genuine,when we actually really do care. We just show it differently. We might not realize how this comes off as,or affects others because we all think differently. We are not inherently evil just because of this. Just because an autistic person doesn't match your same energy with your tone or inflections,doesn't always mean they're uninterested,uninvested or whatever! They might just be having trouble expressing how they truly feel at the moment,or communicating in a flat tone just comes naturally to them!)

[caitlynnrosespn]

Another Rant. More Like A Response.

So I was going to make a video about this because I have a lot to say. But I realized that the stutter I thought I had gotten rid of Freshman years comes out heavily if I'm pissed, which I currently am, so I'll just save use the headache and type this out.

Also tagging @apexious cuz they wanted to see this.

Look. I could totally tag people. I could name names. But I'm not going to. Because at this point everyone has probably either seen this post or knows who this person is. And goddamn do I have a lot to say about them.

Number 1: If you're gonna call me out call me out bestie. Coming after me for a post I made expressing discomfort at a NSFW self ship is fine and all, but then you go ahead and say stuff like "adult people can have adult thoughts about other adults" when my post was referring to a fanfic written by a KID? Get your facts straight before you say anything that's public. Here's the thing, was my post in poor taste? Quite possibly. Was there an adult way to handle it and get the results you wanted? Oh yeah. Did you do the adult thing? Nope! Instead of either A. taking it to a private message and explaining what was wrong or B. making a respectful post that highlighted what was wrong in a mature way, you made a disrespectful, arrogant, self righteous post bashing an entire fanbase despite the fact that only a few people were at large. So now, instead of placing the responsibility of accountable parties, which I would have been included in, and allowing to own up and apologize, you have now not only included yourself into the problem, but also blown the problem wayyyy out of proportion. May I remind you that we are a fairly tiny fandom based on a video game directed at children? I've been playing since 2012, so believe me when I say these games have come a long way. Hell, these characters now in fanfics didn't have names until The Traveler season happened. Remember the days of referring to characters as "the coach from One Kiss" or "Jessy's guy in Swish Swish" or "P1 in Lean On"? Yeah, that was surprisingly not that long ago. So it is responsible to believe that the concept of NSFW or self shipping in a fandom is relatively new to us. Shit, we are not going to act like a normal fandom! This fandom is very different then others, so if we make a mistake like bagging on things that are all normal in other fandoms, then be fucking patient! Call it out in a respectable way, and let us fix it! We always do!

Next, the other problems you discussed? Are they currently in the room with us? I have not seen these problems like, at all. There is no mass shitting on people who have comfort characters. People who fetishsize and disrespect characters? Hell yeah (we took care of people like youngjackissohot and others), but not genuine comfort/kinny characters. The vast majority of us have a comfort character and that's why we are in this fucking community in the first place! Maybe i'm just blind as a bat, but I have not seen anyone tear apart anyone watching maps on Youtube. Bitch, most of us don't have a Switch so those maps on Youtube are our saving grace to stay in this community. Is this happening on another site, like Reddit or Twitter? Cuz if so maybe you should have gone and bitched to them instead of complain on here.

And you don't think we should benefit from your presence in this community? Ok Jesus, sorry you're leaving! Seriously though, while I appreciate everyone in this community and think you make an impact no matter how big it is, this is a classic case of "someone got a little too big for their britches". Sure, we hate to see you go. But like you said, you haven't been active since Lover Coaster (which you couldn't even remember the name of btw-how in the absolute fuck are you going to get involved with Fandom matters if you can't even name the last season you remember?) and we all survived without you. So don't pretend all of a sudden you're some hotshot celebrity whose mere absence in this community will affect anything. I have a few good fics that I am updating frequently that I know people will enjoy, and I've active for a good while, but I know if I fell of the face of the earth right now my absence in the fandom won't cause any major issues. Get a reality check.

Lastly, you're dealing with a fandom here. A group of humans who are all flawed and all make mistakes and all have their moments. If you're not happy with the ugly sides of that, then I'm sorry but you don't deserve to benefit from the many good sides. We are by far the least problematic fandom I have so far heard of. For the most part, we are kind to each other and care for each other and we love each other. If we make mistakes we make sure to fix them and then we carry on. If you have a problem with us not always getting along and us sometimes having our moments then don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I'm sorry you have to see this side of me, but come after this family and call us nothing more than a group of fucking assholes and see what happens next bitch. Cuz next time I won't hesitate to nane names.

[bidokja]

my honest opinion of kdj’s face is that he COULD be pretty under the censorship, if the reader prefers to think of him as such - but he could also NOT be pretty. because we’re the readers, so if a reader wants to think of him as such then who are we to say otherwise? who are we to say how others choose to interpret this character to their liking? it’s what readers like to do, oftentimes; kdj canonically took a few descriptors of yjh’s handsomeness and then expanded it the same way.

but what he does and doesn’t look like isn’t really the point in the novel itself, is the thing. the point is that kdj is loveable regardless of what features he has under there, regardless of whether his face follows a ‘conventional’ attractiveness as judged by societal standards, if it plainly blends into the background, and so on and so forth. it doesn’t matter either way. what matters is if you come to love him or not - and with that comes the meaning.

prettiness in itself is - pretty subjective, in the end? what someone will think is plain or ugly is easy on the eyes for someone else. i refer to the novel wicked upon which the musical was based on - glinda watched elphaba as she sat by the window on a stormy day, and suddenly realized that there WAS something beautiful in her after all.

this goes into extremely personal territory, but it does have relevance too (you can stop here if you’d like! personal boundaries and such, y’know); people like to say that age makes people ugly (but that they can still be loveable despite this), but after the death of one of my older relatives (may they rest in peace) i was looking at pictures of them and realized that’s a lie. the way their emotions shaped around her aged features were far and away the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.

any feature is beautiful once you’ve come to love them enough, is the thing. that’s the special part about the people you love. i guess it’s a huge part of why i honestly don’t mind at all when i see people saying they prefer kdj pretty or plain, because for me at least, prettiness is subjective. and how kdj may or may not look was actively taken out of the equation, so society’s standards of attractiveness doesn’t really matter for him specifically, either. or standards of anything. censorship must have really let him breathe easier after his identity got blasted on the news as a kid, huh?

let me know if i feel pushy at all throughout any of this? it’s a thought that’s been drilled into my head for a while now since i do see people who can be assholes about it, so i’m a bit worried some of that is seeping through. let me know what you think, otherwise!

I appreciate the ask! I really like discussing meta, so no worries you aren't a bother. As for a response, I agree with lots of this, and feel other parts are besides the point, and regardless feel some is like. Not redundant, per se, but basically just restating what I already said in my post about this. That isn't a bad thing! It just means we have similar views, and I didn't have room to really communicate all that in a post that was already long. Thankfully I'm not the one driving for the first leg of this 8 hour drive so I've got time to make another long post.

So firstly, I agree with the vast majority of this. As I said, the few features they describe him with are simply stereotypically attractive. They're subjectively attractive based on societal standards. As a Latino and chronically ill person, I'm intimately familiar with how arbitrary (and racist, and ageist, and misogynist, and ableist, etc, but thats a discussion for another time) beauty standards are. And I think it's important that that's acknowledged, which is why I called his descriptors simply stereotypically attractive rather than saying it as an objective fact.

Personally, I also still think that any focus on his actual appearance - by characters OR fans - is beside the point (which is something we can agree on!). I mainly made that post to express this viewpoint of mine, as an individual who's read ORV. Of course anyone's free to interpret him how they want, I'm not gonna act like I can stop that. But that also means I'm free to say I think his exact appearance is far far far less important than what his appearance represents. To me, the only quintessential part of his appearance is that he's some guy. That's what feels right to me, both thematically and as someone who loves Kim Dokja. I'm just as allowed to say that as someone is allowed to draw him "pretty" and I'm just as allowed to feel no personal connection with vastly different interpretations of his character as someone is allowed to say he's "ugly."

I'm not condemning any one viewpoint regardless of how much I agree with them, but that doesn't mean I've got to like them all. Same goes for anyone reading my interpretations! It's genuinely fine. We're all different and all take and give something different to this shared space (the I Love ORV space) we are in.

That being said, what I DO hope for is that people read my post and start questioning their own inherent biases about what consitutes "handsome" and "pretty" and "ugly" in their minds (cause I'm also not really on the side of people who call him ugly either). What features are you assigning to those labels? Is there a pattern at play here in the fandom at large? Is pretty always pale and is ugly always darker? Is handsome always fit and is ugly always unhealthy? I hope people ask themselves these things and come up with their own answers.

That's one of the most important subtleties of the post that I think I would've expanded on if I'd had more time.