#and i want you.. more than i’ve ever wanted anyone in my life
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reddbuster · 3 days ago
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I forget who made it but I saw a post the other day talking about how a lot of trans women come out much later in life than trans men tend to (and hence why “egg culture” tends to be mostly centred around transfemininity) and it really made me reflect on my experiences with queer spaces and how things have visibly changed as I got older. I’ve been pretty heavily involved in queer and especially trans spaces, both in-person and online, since I was a preteen. While spaces and events for people my age were much more sparse (and harder to attend while closeted) as a kid, they did exist. But one thing that always stuck out to me was the complete absence of trans girls even at events mainly aimed at trans youth. I met a good few other trans and gnc kids at these events, but all, literally every single one of these people were perisex and assigned female at birth. Not a single transfeminine person to be found. This changed as I got older. I started high school. Slowly but surely the circles I hung around in became more diverse. I met trans women. I met and befriended gay and gnc “boys” who would later come out as trans girls. Now, as a young adult, the ratio of transmasculine to transfeminine folks in my life is near equal. But even now, the demographic of trans girls in my life generally skews older than the guys. And of course this trend is very reflective of the effects of transmisogyny in general, how the media targets trans women as the scapegoat for their hatred, painting ‘trans girl’ as a shameful and deviant thing to be. It is reflective, more than anything, of how we all need to be more steadfast in our support of trans women both in our activism and in our day-to-day lives. But I also think that everyone needs to make more of an effort specifically to support young trans girls. Transfeminine kids, teenagers, even young adults. Because I have met so many women that I know for a fact would have enjoyed their teenage years so much more if someone, anyone had been there to tell them when they were young that it was alright to be trans. The first friend I ever lost to suicide as a teenager was a trans girl. And I live every day of my life with the knowledge that if I hadn’t been her one and only source of support, she probably still would have been here today. Believe me when I say that I understand the importance of respecting people’s boundaries. I do think that insisting every gnc person must be trans is a bad and counterproductive thing to do. But I’ve also seen firsthand what happens when trans girlhood is treated like it’s a downgrade, it’s very suggestion a taboo. When nobody is willing to be the one to say “hey, it’s okay if you want to be a girl”. I believe with everything I am that the life and happiness of a single trans girl is more than worth the discomfort of a million cis men. And if you disagree with that sentiment I think you either need to fix your heart, or you need to make peace with the fact that you are a thoroughly vile person and endeavour to shut your mouth about transgender issues forever.
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sanemistar · 3 days ago
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NEVER MEANT TO BE
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contents ★ pro hero!katsuki x gn!reader, heavy angst, lovers to exes, hurt no comfort, slight swearing, 1k+ wc. requested for my milestone event.
event m.list ★ mha m.list
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it was another cold winter day. the weather was as cold as ever and the sky was gray and gloomy, exactly how it was like that day. you sat there pointlessly staring at the window in a lifeless gaze as your mind replayed flashbacks to the day when everything ended with katsuki, and the sound of your yelling still vividly rang in your ears as if it had just happened.
it was a cold winter day when you had another argument with katsuki. you were aware of his hot temper and notorious attitude caused by his anger issues and his difficult job as a pro hero all along, so that wasn’t news to you. but because things used to be perfect at the beginning of your relationship, you thought that it wouldn’t really be a problem. since you accepted katsuki the way he was, you thought you could handle it.
except that as time passed by and things progressed, the cracks in the relationship began to show. and his anger issues worsened more and more. until it had reached a point where he would constantly yell at you over the smallest things, and you were just fed up. you couldn’t take it anymore.
“katsuki… i can’t take it anymore, i’m done.” you blurted out. shocking not only your boyfriend, but yourself as well. you never thought a day would come when you would utter such words to katsuki, he was the one man whom you loved more than anyone else in the world, you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with him by your side.
or so you thought.
you didn’t even realize that you had been trying to convince yourself that everything was fine and nothing was wrong for the longest time when in fact, things between you and him were completely far from being fine.
meanwhile, it was just then when katsuki realized that he had messed up big time. he was just then aware of the pressure and stress he had put you through until you couldn’t endure it anymore. he didn’t even remember when was the last time he didn’t have to yell.
that moment was an eye opener for the two of you to come to the conclusion that it was too late to go back to the way you once were, and that it was probably the end.
silence loomed over the shared bedroom, turning it from the most comfortable and safest place you once thought you could ever be in to an unfamiliar, scary place you wanted to run away from. but you were anxiously fidgeting with your fingers and your feet were glued to the floor, as if there was something weighing you down. making you unable to move.
your eyes were fixated on your feet, not daring to look up. although you did wonder what expression was on katsuki’s face back then.
after what seemed like years of awkward silence, katsuki finally spoke up.
“i put ya through so fucking much, didn’t i?” surprisingly, his voice was calm and soft spoken. it was said in the same voice that you had missed so much.
“look, i’m really sorry. i’ve been nothing but shitty to you this whole time we have been together, and you deserve someone better, so i’m lettin’ ya go.” you felt a twinge in your heart, as if you were being stabbed by a sharp knife.
your heart throbbed painfully, you weren’t ready to hear what he had just said. you didn’t want him to let you go, you wanted to hear him say that he’d stay and try his best with you to make it work out.
“we were never meant to be together.” you finally looked up, eyes wide open as they met his red ones for the first time in a while.
had you and katsuki really never been a good match and you had been blind to it all along?
it just hit you that your once perfect world had crashed intensely, breaking into pieces.
everything really was over. and it happened in the worst way you could ever imagine.
you didn’t even know what to say back to all that. as if words completely flew away from your head. you just found yourself running towards katsuki, body acting on its own as you wrapped your arms around him so tightly and began sobbing uncontrollably. the tears that welled in your eyes for long began to overflow and fall down your red cheeks, finally letting go of the anguish that was paining you.
you felt his strong arms holding you back, pulling you close to him and feeling you against his body one last time.
after some time you two broke away, eyes staring as you engraved each other’s faces in your heads. he cupped your cheeks in his calloused hands and the two of you shared your final kiss, your first and final goodbye. it tasted so bitter and so salty due to your tears, you hated it but you didn’t want it to end. because after that you would no longer feel those lips against yours.
but unfortunately, it had to come to an end.
nothing else was said after that, katsuki just packed his bags and moved out. the sight of his back facing you back then had been living in your memory to this day. despite that happening two years ago.
and for these past two years you hadn’t seen katsuki once, not even in your dreams. the only times you'd see him were when he was on tv having his heroic actions celebrated. he started off as a stranger to you who became your first ever love only to go back to being a stranger you knew nothing about.
you had hated winters. not only because you weren't a big fan of cold weather and gray, cloudy skies, but also because they always reminded you of your first love who ended up making you go through your first breakup and your biggest heartbreak.
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𝜗𝜚 taglist: @unriding @17020
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eothemagnificent · 2 days ago
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Ditto on the getting spooked off by the fearmongering, it literally took multiple years (and a lot of patience on his part) for me to figure out how to have a conversation with Odin without getting too intimidated by His Reputation to hear him over my own anxiety—this despite the fact that in retrospect, I had felt a draw to a lot of Odin-adjacent things ever since I was a kid. And even once I did start taking to him, many of our interactions have had the feeling of someone trying to socialize a feral cat (though that’s also due in part to some personal trauma I was trying to work through at the time).
But despite everything I’d heard, he’s never done anything like make things harder for me on purpose, let alone as some sort of test. We had One fight a few years back, after he’d crossed what I hadn’t actually *said* was a boundary (partly because I didn’t realize it would even come up)—and once I made that boundary explicit, he’s fully respected it ever since. Other than that one (1) time, most of my experiences with him have just been… him offering support and guidance, as I’ve been going through Some Shit. Even when he’s taken me to task on some of my more self-destructive tendencies, he’s never been needlessly harsh or combative.
I definitely won’t say that he Never tests people—largely because I just don’t want to speak for anyone else, but also because he *is* a teacher, and sometimes the most effective way to get a difficult lesson across is to let the student fuck up in a controlled setting. But not everyone needs to be taught that kind of lesson, or would respond well to it, so why do it when it isn’t helpful or necessary?
Idk, I’m kinda just rambling here. I just don’t get how someone would look at the same Old Man who's talked me down from panic attacks and sat with me through the worst parts of med withdrawals… and somehow come to the conclusion that he's someone who must be Approached With Caution Lest He Ruin Your Life. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Like, yeah he Could fuck up someone’s life, but… why would he bother? Why would he Want to? Why is the default assumption that *the allfather* doesn’t give a shit about you or your well-being?
I love the most recent ask on vikings-til-valhalla’s account. I’m telling my impressions separately because they’re rather about the ask than the response, which is quite personal. I quite like this person’s ask, and I agree wholeheartedly with their point. I’ve never been a fan of the idea that Óðinn is a hard-loving deity who will throw hardships at you just to “test” you. My experience has never showed anything remotely similar. Hardships happen but they’re most likely not the doing of a deity, they’re simply a part of life. And I’ve experienced Óðinn as a deity who is loving and gentle, pretty much like a wise grandfather. While I know deities manifest themselves in different ways to different people, I feel like selling insistingly the idea that Óðinn will for some reason bombard you with tests to beat you down or whatever is not only far from reality, but it can also deter someone who is interested in working with him.
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rose24207 · 18 hours ago
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The Balance of Us
Summary: As Lando navigates his dangerous world, his fiercely curious daughter and gentle son test the delicate balance of their family, while his kind-hearted wife remains his unwavering anchor in a life of chaos.
Genre: Mafia!Dad!Lando, fluff, angst if you squint
TW: Mafia
A/N: Yeah I’m posting it. There are two more to come. Whoops. English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!
Masterlist
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It had been a few weeks since the last family dinner where Lando had reflected on the curious dynamic of his household.
Life in the Norris estate was never dull, and tonight was no exception.
The children were growing up fast, each displaying glimpses of the people they’d one day become.
For better or worse, they carried pieces of both parents, and it was beginning to show in the most unexpected ways.
The estate was quiet. Most of the staff had retired for the evening, leaving only the night guards stationed at key points.
Amelia, however, wasn’t in bed like she should have been. Instead, she was tiptoeing down one of the many hallways, her favorite flashlight in hand.
“Amelia,” Jacob hissed from behind her, clutching a stuffed rabbit tightly. “We’re going to get in trouble!”
“We won’t if you stop talking,” Amelia whispered back, shining her flashlight in front of her.
The two children had overheard something earlier—guards talking about a "delivery" in the estate's basement.
Amelia, endlessly curious about her father’s world, wanted to see what it was.
Jacob, on the other hand, was dragged along against his will, a reluctant sidekick in his sister’s adventures.
“What if it’s something bad?” Jacob asked nervously.
“Then I’ll handle it,” Amelia said confidently, sounding far older than her ten years.
Just as they rounded a corner, a shadow loomed behind them.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Both children froze, turning slowly to see Lando standing there, arms crossed, his dark eyes narrowing.
Jacob shrank back, hiding behind Amelia. “We were just… exploring.”
“Exploring?” Lando repeated, his voice low but edged with disbelief. “At this hour?”
Y/N appeared moments later, drawn by the commotion. Her expression softened immediately when she saw the kids. “What’s going on here?”
“Your children decided to investigate my business,” Lando said, glancing pointedly at Amelia.
“I wanted to know what the delivery was,” Amelia admitted boldly, her chin lifting in defiance.
Lando exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand over his face. “Amelia, I’ve told you before. There are things in this house you’re not ready to understand.”
“She’s just curious,” Y/N said gently, stepping forward to kneel beside Amelia and Jacob. “It’s a good trait, but there’s a time and place for it, sweetheart. And sneaking around at night isn’t it.”
Amelia frowned but nodded, looking slightly chastised.
Jacob immediately wrapped his arms around Y/N, muttering, “Sorry, Mum.”
Y/N kissed the top of his head and stood. “Alright, off to bed. Both of you. No more sneaking around.”
Lando watched as she herded the children back toward their rooms, his gaze lingering on Amelia’s determined little face.
“She’s going to be trouble,” he muttered to himself, though there was a trace of pride in his voice.
The next morning, the family gathered for breakfast. The dining room was filled with the sound of clinking dishes and lively chatter.
“Dad, why can’t I know what you do?” Amelia asked suddenly, stabbing a piece of toast with her fork.
Lando set down his coffee cup, glancing at Y/N for support.
Y/N smiled gently. “Your dad’s work is very complicated, Amelia. And some parts of it… well, they’re not something a ten-year-old needs to worry about.”
“But you know about it,” Amelia pressed, looking at her mother. “And you’re nice.”
Y/N laughed softly, while Lando raised an eyebrow.
“Nice has nothing to do with it,” he said. “Your mother is smarter and stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. That’s why she can handle it.”
Jacob piped up, his voice quiet. “I don’t think I’d want to know. I like the garden and the library.”
“That’s fine too,” Y/N said warmly. “Everyone has their own strengths.”
Amelia, however, wasn’t satisfied. “I’m going to be just like you one day,” she told Lando.
Y/N exchanged a look with her husband, her smile fading slightly. “We’ll talk about that when you’re older,” she said gently.
Later that day, Lando found Y/N in the garden, trimming roses. She was always happiest out here, surrounded by life and beauty, a stark contrast to the chaos of his world.
“You’re worried about Amelia,” he said, stepping closer.
Y/N sighed, placing the shears down. “She’s too young to want this, Lando. She doesn’t understand what it really means.”
“She’s got my stubbornness,” Lando admitted, smirking faintly.
“She’s got more than that,” Y/N said, brushing a stray hair from her face. “She’s smart and brave, but I don’t want her growing up thinking this life is her only option.”
Lando nodded, leaning against the garden wall. “I’ll talk to her. Set some boundaries.”
“And Jacob?” Y/N asked, her voice softening.
“He’s fine,” Lando said. “He’s more like you—sees the good in everything.”
Y/N smiled at that. “I hope so. The world needs more kindness.”
Lando reached out, pulling her close. “You balance us all out, you know that?”
She looked up at him, her expression tender. “And you protect us. It works.”
As the household settled down, Lando sat in his study, staring at a family photo on his desk. Amelia’s fierce grin mirrored his own, while Jacob’s shy smile was all Y/N.
He couldn’t deny how much his family meant to him. They were his reason for everything—the good, the bad, and the complicated.
When Y/N entered the room, carrying two mugs of tea, he smiled softly.
“Thinking about the kids again?” she asked, sitting beside him.
“Always,” he admitted, taking a sip of tea.
“They’ll be okay, Lando,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder. “Because they have us.”
And in that quiet moment, surrounded by the warmth of her presence, Lando believed her.
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Thank you for reading!
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jeonscatalyst · 2 days ago
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who do you think are jk and jm's comfort people in the group besides each other and why?
Hi anon,
This question is kinda tough but I’ll try my best to answer.
I think for Jimin, it’s Hobi and Yoongi but they do very different things for him. Hobi is Jimin’s Jimin. You know that person who dotes on him, encourages him, is soft with him and pretty much always there for him no matter where or what. I think them being roommates the longest out of all the other members helped out in them being so close.
As for Yoongi, I think he is the person Jimin goes to when he needs someone to talk to about the difficult parts of life. I think Yoongi is that objective voice of reason for Jimin who tells him what he needs to hear not what he wants to hear. Yoongi to Jimin is someone who encourages and pushes him to go beyond his limits so he is definitely someone I believe that Jimin knows that he needs. Yoongi also believes in Jimin very much and never fails to let him know that he believes in him.
Clearly, Yoongi and Hobi fulfil very different needs for Jimin and he relates to them in very different ways but I think they both are his comfort persons…..just in very different ways.
For Jungkook, it is harder to pick because he naturally isn’t someone who goes to others for comfort a lot by his own admission and based on what I’ve seen. The only person that Jungkook has ever admitted going to for comfort is Jimin and that is the only person we actually see him gravitating to when he needs comfort so I don’t know if he really has any other comfort person in the group but I know that he has others in the group whom he really enjoys spending time with.
He likes hanging out with Tae and doing fun things with him which obviously puts him in a good mood so in one way we can call that some kind of comfort but I just don’t ever see him trying to seek him out when he is in a funk like we have seen him seek Jimin out. I know that they talk too and share a lot of stuff with each other but I just don’t think they have those deep heart to hearts like maybe yoonmin do and not because they don’t want to but because both of them just don’t seem like the type to really know how to handle those kinds of discussions reason why it has always been clear that both of them sought Jimin out for comfort more than they sought each other out.
I think Jungkook naturally has a hard time opening up to people about his feelings and usually deals with them on his own which is why I think it is a huge deal that the only one he has ever admitted to actually seeking comfort from or needing comfort from is Jimin and this is probably thanks to Jimin’s personality. He has a personality where he allows you to be vulnerable with him. He makes you feel heard and validated and seems like no one feels judged when they confide in him. I don’t think there is a single BTS member who hasn’t at some point found the biggest comfort in Jimin.
This is what I think anon but anyone is more than welcome to contribute.
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dreamyinception-world · 2 days ago
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𝑳𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑶𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆
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Pairing: Camboy!Park Seonghwa + Puppy Boy!Kim Hongjoong
w//c: 6k
Genre: College!Au, Smut + Friends with Benefits
Summary: Being a camboy is a lot of hard work– keeping everything private from becoming public, entertaining his audience and training a needy puppy, who has a lot more up his sleeve than meets the eye. 
Tws: Swearing/Foul Language, Slightly Judgmental Friends
Sws: Puppy Play, Cyber Sex, Fingering, Blowjobs, Sex Toys (bone ball gag and cock ring), Degrading (consensual; both receiving), Dirty Talking, Humiliation, Deep Throating/Throat Fucking, Dacryphilia, Cum Swapping/Eating, Biting, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Unprotected Sex, Switching (both because why the hell not), Light Subspace Slipping, Hair pairing, Dick Slapping, Exhibitionism
Rating: 18+ 
𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: hello everyone! long time no see! sorry that’s been so long since my last one shot! i’ve been super busy with work and haven’t had the time to write anything. BUT, since the release of ateez’s concept photo teasers with pink haired hwa, i knew i had to make a fic out of it. we all knew it was going to happen. anyways, y'all didn’t come here for me to ramble. enjoy the fic! if any tags were left out, please let me know!
𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕠𝕞. 𝕄𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕕!
As a reminder, my work is only for those who are eighteen years or older. Anyone who attempts to interact with my work or blog who is underage will be blocked immediately. You have been warned. 
©𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏-𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 2024 || 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ♡
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* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *
There are parts of oneself that people don’t mind keeping out and open to the general public– friendships, achievements, milestones– the pleasant things that would make one appear to be like an average person. There was nothing wrong with being average, even boring if that’s what life had in store.
Or what you want everyone to think life has in store for you. 
Like a beautifully thin veiled piece of colored glass, people can see whatever part they want to– never truly getting a glimpse of the other side. Most become too distracted by the rainbows and glamor of it to investigate anything further. 
And that is exactly how Seonghwa liked to have things. 
It wasn’t personal really– is what he would say if he was held at gunpoint–  to keep things from his friends, even the ones that were considered family to them. But, at some point when certain activities became available for his leisure, a level of ambiguity was needed.
Most especially with certain friends. 
Take his damn near blood sister Julie– typical yapper friend who talks about everything and everyone that she hears about, because “anything can be talked about, nothing is off limits unless explicitly said so!” She was both the funniest but also the most dramatic friend that he had.
And even that was almost an understatement. 
“Seonghwa~~” She rolled up next to him while he was completing an assignment outside, parking her chin onto his shoulder, sporting the largest pout ever. Her voice came out in an almost unbearable whine close to that of a child, matching with her rapid tugs on his arm. 
“What~? I’m doing something.” He chuckled and fake brushed her off, laughing a bit harder when she gripped his arm tighter. 
“I’m so drained from last class’ exam. Can we please go out tonight? I need to let off some steam so badly.” 
“You know I can’t go out tonight.” 
Julie whines and wiggles more next to him, stirring him away from his work. Seonghwa kept a patient and slightly sympathetic face, after being trained for years to handle his friend’s antics, and held her hands between his as he calmly explained his plans that he has every week– going to see his family that lives about an hour from the university they all go to. 
A bubbling “argument” began to creep into their conversation until their other mutual friend– who was on the complete opposite scale of Julie’s personality entirely– Giselle and her partner welcomed themselves to the otherside of the picnic bench. 
“What are you guys bickering about now?” She questioned with the roll of her eyes, clearly messing with Julie. 
The exact reaction made the girl slam her hands down on the table, getting as close as she could with the bulk of the table being caught in between them, as she feigned glassy eyes. 
“Seonghwa won’t skip this one trip to see family to come out with me because I had a hard day. He’s a bad friend and I don’t wanna be close to him anymore.” Her body bounces back onto the wooden seat with arms crossed, side-eying the shit out of the male in question as he lets out a small snort. 
They both knew that she wouldn’t truly cut him off, even if she could, being that they are too close to ever become legitimately separated. But, Seonghwa decided to not push her further, bringing himself back to his work as his three friends talked. He became so engrossed in the last bit of his assignment that he was completing that he nearly missed the conversation of cam work that flowed between the group. 
“Wait, wait, wait.” Julie held her hands up, almost feeling dizzy by the information. “You’re saying that someone at our school is doing livestreamed sex work?”
“I don’t know for certain,” Giselle’s partner piped in, resting their chin on the shoulder that was offered to them. “But, it’s definitely a rumor that’s been going around for the past couple days or so?” 
The aspect of the rumor didn’t really matter to anyone, as gossip made its way around campus on a consistent basis. However, today it was just enough for his extremely bored and gossip loving friend to send her off the rails with questions about it. 
Is the person a boy? A girl? Do they look like anybody that they would know or have seen?
They weren’t able to respond back that quickly, as the budding of the hearsay had only begun to spread around. Without having much information to back it on, they were left mostly to their imagination, only knowing that they seemed to be pretty popular amongst the ones who frequented their streams. 
“Do you have a photo?” Her eyes nearly bulged out of her skull when they fished their phone out. Within a few seconds of scrolling, they presented the one image they had. 
Seonghwa kept his fingers moving and body still, glancing out of the corner of his eyes. 
The image was blurry, clearly taken from someone’s computer screen, with broken lines cutting across the frame. All that could be seen were a pair of lips, laced up in a smirk, with something that looked like a feather being situated in the middle of their partially exposed torso– appearing to be more of a motion rather than an actual pose. 
“What the hell! This is such a shit picture.” Julie grabbed the phone, seemingly trying to render the picture quality with her eyes. She was ceremoniously interrupted by Giselle’s rough snatch of her partner’s phone, casting a glare in her direction.
“Well it’s not like we took it. If you wanna go and see the person clearer, go fucking watch their stream yourself.” Giselle grunted.
“No way, I have a roommate and I don’t want them seeing me watch that.” Julie made a small face of disgust, unknowingly making Seonghwa feel a tinge of hurt before she relaxed herself against his shoulder. 
“Besides, I'll get too jealous.” 
Giselle’s partner brought his attention over to Seonghwa, noticing his lack of response during the entire conversation. 
“What do you think, Hwa?” 
The boy hummed in response, looking up from his laptop to all eyes being placed on him. He couldn’t help the small smile that was forming inside of him at the curiosity of his friends. It felt all familiar to the lengths of desperation of the ones who came to join him during his nightly sessions.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Thursday, May 14th – 23:45 PM 
Time streaming: 1:25:57 
“Wow, wow would you look at the time? I suppose I should start getting ready for my needy puppies shouldn’t I?” 
The corners of his pink glossed lips curved up into a smirk, leaning over and taking a small drag of something off screen. He leans back into his chair, purposefully allowing his legs to fall open as he slowly blows it out towards the camera, timing his hand running from his neck to his chest all the way down to his semi hard bulge through his sparkly black fleshed bottoms. He takes the time to tug at the waistband before letting it snap back against his skin, flashing his teeth at the speed of the comments. 
Seonghwa lets out a short hum, lulling his finger over some of the comments before it stops on one in particular, having donated a large sum of money in the form of cat ears to him. 
msoong_998: you’re such a tease. just take your clothes off for us already. 
Though the viewers couldn’t see his eyes, thanks to the angle of the camera, they narrowed instinctively. 
This person had the audacity to rush him into his work while paying him so much money? They came here for him and want things to be quick? 
How pathetic and desperate.
What a perfect little puppy for him. 
He had every intention to make him his special target for tonight. 
“Hm, this person, msoong? Right?” He spoke lazily, the bottom of his tongue swiping out. 
“You’re demanding me to get ready fast for you? So you can jerk yourself off and be done with me? You’re so needy and desperate it’s borderline pathetic. ” He hides a small chuckle behind his hand, moving his legs over the arms of the chair. The comments flood in, some criticizing the commenter and the other ogling over his body becoming more and more loose and exposed to the camera.
Seonghwa dismisses them all with a light wave of his hand, satisfied with what he has seen, in desire for something better. 
“Now, don’t be mean to him. He doesn’t know any better. He can’t help being so weak. Clearly some of us are so used to being with people who will put out quick. All we need is a little..obedience would you say?” 
It takes only but a few minutes for him to prepare himself, and in tow his audience, setting a small collar on a hook just below the camera with the end of the leash within his grasp. He excuses himself with slow strides, only disappearing for a moment before he returns with something that he deems to be more “comfortable” for him to train his little puppies in. 
Dawning a black crop top, two sparkly belly chains and fuzzy toothless knee highs, he rests himself comfortably back in his earlier position, taking the end of the loop between his fingers. 
“All puppies need a little bit of training. How lucky you all are that I’m the best teacher.”
The ding of donations flooding in brings a wide smile to Seonghwa’s face, leaning into the camera to show off the sheen of his raspberry scented skin, glistening under the glow of his assorted warm toned lights. He made an effort to adjust the edge of his high socks, humming at the snap of it against his skin.
“Oh! I almost forgot~” He spoke in a sing song tone, moving his rolling chair back to make room as he stood. 
For the first time ever, he brought his whole face into view with only a black lace masquerade mask obscuring the upper portion. His blue lensed eyes glimmered against the screen, almost standing out against his bubblegum pink hair.
“Am I pretty?” He questioned cutely, cocking his head to the side with a heated look in his eyes. 
puppup_yu: fuck, i would love to see those pretty eyes looking up at me from between my legs.
Seonghwa bit the corner of his lip from the comment, feeling himself getting more excited by the filth being thrown his way that he almost forgot about the task at hand. He playfully rolled his eyes, clapping his hands together to bring everyone’s attention back.
“Now, to train you all very well, I brought in an adorable little puppy to use as a reference. Please send lots of paws and love to him, okay?”
Straightening himself, he lifted his hands to wave at someone off screen. A sound of jingles could be heard as a smaller man crawled into view on all fours, clearly trembling as he kept his eyes trained on Seonghwa.
He wore nothing except for a pair of hazelnut floppy ears, a bone gag strapped securely in his mouth and the jingling dog collar— reading “Joongie” when reflected against the light. 
Once in front of the taller man, he sat in wait, panting and clearly covered in a thinly veiled sheen of sweat, leaving it very clear to the viewers that he had been aroused in some manner prior to introducing himself to Seonghwa’s audience.
That, and the blue ring secured around his flushed cock.
“This is my puppy, Hongjoongie. Isn’t he adorable?” 
It wasn’t a question really, at least Hongjoong was sure of it.
But his mind didn’t let him ponder on it for too long when those same pair of blue eyes came down into his view, smiling like a cat who was ready to devour him.
It took everything in his power to not whimper at the finger that hooked around the loop of his collar to pull him closer, and the following tongue that ran over the bone and his lips. He dug his nails into his palm to hold himself still as Seonghwa repeated the action two more times before kissing over it and on his forehead.
“My helpless little fuck toy.” Seonghwa breathed into his face, the mix of fruit and sweets hitting Hongjoong’s senses, instinctively making him let out a small groan.
Something about the reaction pleased Seonghwa, being kind enough to reach behind his head and release the bone from his mouth. The brunette immediately panted, tongue slightly lulled out of his mouth.
“Do you know why I have to put this bone in his mouth?” Seonghwa asked the audience, waving it to and fro in his hand.
“It’s so that he will obey orders and know not to speak out of line.” He said cheerfully, placing the gag off to the side. Once in view again, his demeanor changed, staring straight into the camera with burning eyes.
“Rule number one, always obey your owner. Right msoong?”
He plopped back down into his chair, now facing Hongjoong, and leaned back comfortably, rolling his head over and chuckling lightly.
“Let’s begin, yes?”
He turned his attention back to Hongjoong. “Up.” 
Without hesitation, the puppy boy’s upper body rose, not letting his knees up from the ground as he moved closer to the chair and immediately stripped Seonghwa’s lower half, being careful not to move the socks he had on, seeing the intense stare on his every move.
Hongjoong wondered in the back of his head how long Seonghwa had been going, given how hard he was once the cold air hit him and the amount of precum glistening his tip and along the inside of his bottoms.
He really held himself back.
Satisfied, he leaned back onto his heels and waited for further instructions.
“See how I didn’t have to tell him anything? He already knew what to do.” Seonghwa bit his finger, spreading his legs wider and motioning with a nod of his head for Hongjoong to continue.
The brunette felt his heart pounding in his chest as he ran his pierced tongue over Seonghwa’s balls, the combination of being watched by him and all of the viewers in the livestream filling him with a mix of embarrassment and excitement, egging him on to do more to please the gorgeous man in front of him. 
Against what he was originally trained and told to do, Hongjoong slapped Seonghwa’s cock lewdly against his tongue, holding his mouth wide open for everyone to watch the member slide back and forth against his tongue. A sharp curl of his tongue to the underside of the taller man’s cock sent a shiver up his spine, letting out a shaky breath. 
“Is that how you want to play, puppy?” Seonghwa tried to keep his voice leveled, fisting one hand into Hongjoong’s hair, giving it a pull hard enough to make him let out a small gasp in surprise. His smirk widened as he adjusted himself, swinging one leg behind the back of Hongjoong’s head to hold him in place. 
Without saying a word, he moved Hongjoong’s head up and down, changing between fucking his face roughly and slowly filling every inch of his mouth, smiling deviously when the little puppy boy’s body began to tremble, drool pouring out of the corners of his mouth. 
The chat flooded with a slew of curses and praises towards Seonghwa and Hongjoong– mixed between some of them wanting to be in Hongjoong’s place while others professed wanting Seonghwa to be on their knees for them. 
A small laugh bubbled in his throat followed by a shaky moan, feeling his hips twitch as the brunette tried to play his game against him once more, timing the flicks of his tongue with Seonghwa’s pace.
If he could just get Seonghwa to fold a little bit, maybe he will get his reward a bit sooner and more sweetly than before. 
But, unfortunately for him, he could not have been more wrong. 
Suddenly, another hand threaded through his hair and held him to a complete stop. His eyes flickered up in an instant, nearly shrinking back at the joker-like smile that threaded across the camboy’s face, panting like a beast as he stared at him down. 
“I think we’re ready to go over our second rule.” Seonghwa leaned forward, uncaring about the yelp that left the boy and his breath ghosted over his face. Hongjoong peered at him through cracked open eyes, eyebrows furrowing from the pain.
“Never, ever, try to beat your owner at their own game. It just won’t end the way you think. You go the owner’s way, or no way at all.” He gritted out, releasing one section of his hair to slap his dick across Hongjoong’s face. The boy could only sit there in humiliation as he continued to be slapped across his cheeks, with Seonghwa degrading him. 
You think you run this game, huh? Do you think you’re the master? 
A pathetic slut like you? You could never get one over me. 
“You want it that badly?” He spat, gripping his chin and holding it up. 
Hongjoong wasn’t sure if answering would be the best option in this scenario, just as he wasn’t entirely clear on Seonghwa’s real feelings at the moment. 
“Speak.” He commanded, making Hongjoong whimper in response. 
“I-I” His voice quivered, crumbling like a cookie under Seonghwa’s intense gaze. His cheeks blazed when he felt himself twitch at the position he was in. 
“It’s okay. I get it. I understand.” Seonghwa spoke shortly, the chair creaking as he leaned back into it once more. With a kick of his foot, he closed the smallest gap between Hongjoong and the chair and tightened the grip of his calf and thigh around Hongjoong’s head.
Without warning, he pushed himself back into Hongjoong’s mouth and held him down, nearly squishing the brunette’s nose against his abdomen. 
“Take it then.”
Hongjoong’s throat struggled to remain lax as his eyes flew open, instinctively grabbing onto Seonghwa’s leg to support himself. His heart pounded in his ears as he tried to adjust his position underneath the man’s leg, only to find the elder tightening his hold on him. From one lookup and meeting his eyes, it was clear that he was not going to be able to get out of this easily. 
All the viewers could do was merely comment and spam donations in response to the scene in front of them. 
What Seonghwa forgot to mention to Hongjoong prior to their plan was that the donations would be read out loud. 
“Make him show us what’s in his mouth.” - $20
“I can practically see his tail wagging from here.” - $35
“God, I wish I could see it from closer up” - $20
His cheeks flushed bright red as he swallowed around his tip with each movement of his head, everything around him slowly becoming fuzzy in his head. He couldn’t think straight anymore– the only thing processing in his face was pleasing the man in front of him and this ring was still attached to him. 
It felt so deliciously good and painful. 
“G-God~” Seonghwa’s voice brought his mind somewhat back, realizing that at some point in his lust filled haze, that he had completely disregarded his appearance and demeanor– letting all of the drool pour from the corner of his lips alongside the filthy sounds of him slurping up every last bit of him into his mouth. 
He failed to notice the way Seonghwa’s body laxed more into the cushion of his chair and the thin coat of sweat that began to cover his body, and between his tensed, shaky thighs. 
That image alone drove Hongjoong closer to the edge. 
Keeping his eyes locked onto him, he rolled his shoulders back to get more comfortable in his position, dancing his fingertips against his outer thigh, letting him continue to maneuver his head faster and faster until he was practically singing for everyone. 
It all feels so good..
With one more shaky thrust upwards, Seonghwa sharply inhaled as Hongjoong’s mouth fell open for him without any command, watching himself shoot beads of cum all over the puppy’s soft, plump tongue. His eyebrows pinched up with a long shaky moan, eyes locked on the movement of his tongue across the slit, collecting every last bit.
“My good boy~” He practically cooed, yanking Hongjoong up by his collar into a messy kiss. 
His limbs wrapped lazily around Hongjoong’s body, mapping out every inch of his mouth with a firm hold onto his chin, moaning shamelessly. His free hand snakes down his body, forcing the brunette’s body to press closer to him, smirking against his lips at the sharp inhale that comes out when their cocks rub against each other. 
“Do you like it?” He breathes against his lips sweetly with a wide smile, only enough so that Hongjoong could hear. The boy only manages to nod before diving back in for more kisses, rutting against him desperately. 
Seonghwa breaks the kiss quickly with a chuckle, pushing Hongjoong’s face away whilst licking his lips. 
“I asked you a question.” Seonghwa speaks to him, cocking his head to the side.
And I wish you would take this damn ring off of me and just let me fuck you already– is what he would have said if he weren’t in this position right now. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire, his ears had the slightest ring to them that was just enough to drown out the continued ping sounds coming from the computer. 
All he wanted was to be given what he wanted. 
Just a little bit longer. Just follow his orders.
Hongjoong heaved out heavy breaths, eyes blown out as he brought his head back in front of the cocky camboy. 
“I like whatever you are willing to give to me.” He looked between his lips and his eyes, noticing the way Seonghwa’s pupils dilated at his words. 
The grip of his hands against his hips sent an unexpected moan out of Seonghwa’s mouth, unsure how to feel about the fact that his puppy, who was needily sucking him off a minute ago, was able to make him bend so easily, looking damn near ready to devour him at the slightest motion to do so. 
If he was being completely honest, he would have let him do it sooner if he wasn’t so hell bent on torturing the two of them and, in turn, everyone else. 
“So are you willing to give yourself to me? Let me make you feel good like you deserve?” He questioned. 
Everything he said seemed to be correct, if the way Seonghwa’s legs slid further open were anything to go by. But, before he could celebrate the success of his seduction, Seonghwa brushed his fingers against his neck, pulling him closer until his teeth grazed against his ear. 
“I want you hungry for me. And I don’t think you’re there yet.” 
And there was that disgustingly sweet tone again. 
Hongjoong bowed his head onto Seonghwa’s shoulder, nipping at the area and feeling the camboy’s hands roam wherever they could reach from this angle. 
“So, let’s play a little bit more.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Mm, you all have been so patient for me, I can see all of your– god your tongue feels so good– begging from here.” 
Seonghwa tried to continue speaking to his audience through fluttering lashes and a very clear flushed upper body. The rest of him, which had become slightly obscured due to the angle he was at, had found itself over the arm of the futon, securely and comfortably situated on top of a plush pillow. 
At the end of the futon, sitting comfortably on a small stool, Hongjoong buried his head between the camboy’s cheeks, staring at the curve of his lower back where he could imagine what his facial expressions must be with every sharp curve of his tongue and the subtle way it slipped out to lap at his balls before diving right back in. 
The shyness had long subsided by the time they made it over here, stripping more of Seonghwa’s clothing off as they bit and kissed at each other’s skin, that the sounds fell naturally from Hongjoong’s mouth– ranging between guttural groans and deep hums, matching the stifled moans that were threatening to fall from Seonghwa’s mouth. 
His fingers shook as he scrolled through the comments, eyes slowly becoming unfocused from the methodical tongue fucking. 
jbear_00: tell us how he feels for you. Is your precious puppy eating you well?
He barely finished reading the rest of the comment before his head dropped down, a quivering whimper forcing its way out from between his bite-swollen lips, eyes nearly rolling at the drag of his pierced tongue against his prostate.
“Don’t bow your head away from it now— All of our attention and to have every last one of us wanting you. Wanting to be inside of you and hear all of those slutty little moans come out for us. Aren’t we doing good for you, master?” Hongjoong baited him, all of his sadistic behavior he had been holding back flowing out of him at once— having him practically laughing at him.
Seonghwa gritted his teeth as his thighs shook for the third time tonight, Hongjoong chuckling as he lapped over his hole messily, slurping noisily over it just to see the man’s body bow lower in feigned resistance.
“So join us~” He heaved out with a hum, lewdly spreading his cheeks apart as he ran three fingers over the spasming pucker, sure as anything that he could take them without even asking.
“In our desperate craving for release~”
“I-I don’t need you prep me- AH!” His eyes widened in an instant, unable to control the sounds that came out of his mouth, melded together in shock and pleasure from the delicious stretch of Hongjoong’s fingers. He looked back over his shoulder in slight disbelief, only to let out a small whimper from the eyes that met his. 
Hongjoong leaned himself as much as he could over Seonghwa’s back, eyes laser focused on with a deviant smile, kissing along his spine as he plunged his fingers at an inconsistent pace. The pads of his fingers ran along every edge inside of him, making a game out of deliberately skipping over his prostate to massage the area directly next to it. 
Was it a bit mean? Yes. But Seonghwa deserved it. 
“Have your way with him, Joong.” ~ $50
His eyes flickered upward, looking directly at the donation amount. His lips pulled up even further, adjusting himself to hold Seonghwa’s lower body downward, suddenly increasing the speed of his fingers to abuse the bundle inside of him, immediately erupting a slew of curses from the camboy. 
“Hm, why don’t you all tell me exactly what you want?” He beckoned, looking down at Seonghwa’s now shaking form, slyly rutting himself back against Hongjoong’s fingers. 
From the shine of the computer screen, it was clear now that Seonghwa had fallen right into the place that he was in– as much as he desperately tried to fight it. 
But they both knew exactly how Seonghwa was, the side of himself that he didn’t dare to show to the audience. The side of him that Hongjoong had seen more than enough to know that he wasn’t going to be able to last or hold on much longer once he pushed him a bit more. 
Perfect. 
A simple sharp tug of his pink locks had Seonghwa’s face, flushed with dribbles of drool running down, exposed completely to the audience. 
“You’re being rude, Hwa. You should look at the people who have been waiting so long to see you like this.” He taunted, bringing his lips closer to his mouth as his fingers curled upward. 
“You look so beautiful like this.” 
“Please.” Seonghwa’s eyes rolled shut, pushing himself back quickly against his fingers as he looked back at him again, a blissed out smile crossing his face as he nodded at him. 
The two of them barely waited for the audience to process what was going on before the ring was ceremoniously pulled off of Hongjoong with a deep chested groan. Seonghwa adjusted his position, letting his head rest to the side– still within the view of the audience as he winked at them. 
“Ruin him, Hongjoong.” ~ $50
“God, this is gonna be so messy.” ~$70
“Make him forget his own name.” ~ $100
“With pleasure.” Hongjoong heaved out, gritting his teeth at the way Seonghwa’s hips swayed side to side to entice him. 
It took him tightening every muscle in his body to keep himself from immediately cumming at the walm tightness that surrounded him, mixed with the whorish moans that left Seonghwa’s mouth. 
He felt himself pulsing inside of the man, letting out a shaky breath when the boy clenched around him. 
The angle alone from the camera was driving him insane as he started to rock at a steady pace, noticing the way that Seonghwa’s fingers curled around the fabric of the futon, trying to ground himself in any way possible as he wasted no time pushing himself back to meet Hongjoong halfway. 
“F-Fuck, you’re so t-thick!” Seonghwa’s voice barely came out, his bottom lip quivering at the affirmed hold to his hips. The stretch and burn of every thrust had him nearly gasping, completely forgetting about those on the other side of the computer, watching him pathetically whine. 
He looked so beautiful like this, exactly how everyone would want him to look. 
His mouth dropped open with cracked eyes, only seeing through his blurry vision the way Hongjoong was moving him back and forth against his cock– only noticing half way through that his hands had moved away, growling as he watched Seonghwa. 
The wanton look on his face melted away effortlessly, smiling wide. 
“Look at how much he likes it~” He breathed out, sliding his fingers into his mouth and ignoring the mess he was making on his pillow sheets as he slid himself all the way down on his cock before pulling back, humming as the tip got caught on his rim. 
He kept his motions fluid, alternating swiftly between bouncing himself quickly and slowing himself down, feeling his movements suddenly come to a stop when Hongjoong’s hand came down on his cheek. 
“AH!” 
He felt a sharp bite to the middle of his back, body arching as another hit came to his cheek.
“Stop being a fucking brat or I’ll make you choke on it.” 
“Mm~, that sounds nice- S-Shit!!” 
Two forceful hands curled around his shoulders and roughly yanked him back against him, completely ignoring the escalation of Seonghwa’s screaming moans as he chased the powerful release that was rapidly approaching with every thrust. One hand snaked around to the camboy’s throat, squeezing it tightly in his hold. 
“H-Hong..!”
“Shut the fuck up and you better not let anything spill out.” He growled into his ear as a wide smirk crossed his face. He bit down on Seonghwa’s shoulder as he fucked his cum up into him, sluring obscenities into his skin.
You like that? You like your slutty hole being filled up? 
You were waiting for this weren’t you? You were just waiting for someone to make a mess of you.
Tell them you like it. 
“I do!! I like it~” Seonghwa brokenly cried out, tone falling into a high pitch whine as he shot ribbon upon ribbon onto his pillow, some even landing onto the futon sheet. He fell forward once Hongjoong let him go, his blurry blue eyes rolled up to the camera with a dazed smile. 
The top donation was lined at the top, with pink and purple bows and sparkles lined around the border of the banner. 
“You’re the sexiest of all time” - msoong_998: $350
Hongjoong spread Seonghwa’s cheeks apart, cursing under his breath as he slowly pulled out, immediately grabbing the camera to film his backside. 
The camboy helped himself with keeping his cheeks spread as he let everything spill down his balls in a blob onto the pillow and the arm of the futon. The brunette helped himself to sliding his fingers inside to scoop some of it out, chuckling at the sensitive whine he received in response before moving the camera back in front of Seonghwa, noticing his mouth was already open for him. 
He swirled his tongue around the digits meticulously with heated eyes on the camera and, in turn on his puppy, before he kissed his fingertips.
“Thank you for watching~ ♡”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“..ello?”
“Hello! Earth to Seonghwa!”
In an instant, he was back at his university campus, sitting around the picnic table with his friends, almost completely forgetting that they were asking him something before his brain bullied him for however long he was zoning out for. 
And he hoped to god Julie wouldn’t see how hard he was from here. 
“S-Sorry.” He lightly excused, clearing his throat while lowering the screen of his computer. “What was the question again?”
“We were asking you what you thought about the cam guy? Who do you think he is?” Julie pestered, pointing his arm with impatience. 
Seonghwa looked back over the photo, cocking his head to the side as he looked back up at his friends with a small chuckle. 
“I don’t know. But whoever it is, it’s none of our business. It’s their life, they can do whatever they want.” 
The three of them nodded, with Giselle’s eyes lingering on Seonghwa a bit longer before eventually dropping it, perking at her friend that was making his way across campus. She called out to him, waving when he stopped to look in her direction. 
Seonghwa looked over his shoulder with him and Hongjoong immediately making eye contact. Although it was short lived, he couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face as the brunette’s face got red, instantly bolting his way towards the school parking lot. 
“What was that about?” Giselle’s partner questioned with a confused look. 
“Not sure.” Seonghwa responded as he watched the small man hop into his car. “But he’s very cute.”
* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *
𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @atiny-piratequeen @jacksons-goddess-gaia @kimnamshiks @little-lazuli @atiny-dazzlinglight @catnipacid
* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *
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party-poison-218 · 3 days ago
Text
Rekindling The
Flames 💜
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Toji x reader, second chance! Angst,
Fluff :3
This is just a one-shot.
Tokyo had always been a city that felt alive, a constant hum beneath the surface. But for you, the city felt hollow, like a stage set waiting for a performance that never came. After years of quiet solitude, you'd managed to carve out a life that was... safe. Predictable. But that didn’t stop the ghosts from haunting you. And none haunted you more than the ghost of Toji Fushiguro.
You hadn’t seen him in over four years.
When you met him, you were captivated by the rawness of him. Toji wasn’t like anyone else. He was a sharp-edged, dangerous—an assassin who lived by no rules except his own. It didn’t matter that your love for him was filled with chaos and danger. He was everything you needed at the time: exciting, unpredictable, a storm in human form. But eventually, the storm became too much. The blood, the lies, the constant fear that he would disappear—along with you. You walked away, left him behind, and tried to move on.
But you had never truly moved on.
That morning, as you walked through a quiet street market, you didn’t expect to see him. Toji had a way of blending into the shadows, becoming invisible to the world, but not to you. And yet, there he was, standing at the edge of a café, as if time hadn’t passed, as if you hadn’t left him all those years ago.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. His eyes were dark, unreadable, but they still held that familiar intensity. The corners of his mouth twitched upward, not quite a smile, but enough to remind you of the way his grin used to make your heart race.
"Well, well. If it isn’t the ghost of my past," Toji’s voice was rough, gravelly, yet somehow comforting in its familiarity.
You took a steadying breath, unsure whether you were relieved or angry to see him again. "What are you doing here, Toji?"
"Same as you, I guess. Trying to stay out of trouble," he said, leaning casually against the doorframe of the café. "Didn’t think I'd ever see you again."
You narrowed your eyes. "And yet, here we are."
He chuckled low in his throat. "Yeah. Here we are."
You hesitated, unsure if you should walk away or stay. You had spent so much time pretending you didn’t care about him, pretending that he didn’t affect you. But the truth was, you had never truly let him go. And now, faced with him again, all those emotions you thought were buried resurfaced.
"How’ve you been?" Toji asked, pushing off the doorframe and stepping closer to you. His presence felt like a heavy weight, but it was one you had never quite been able to escape.
You swallowed. "I’ve been fine. I moved on."
"Yeah, sure you did." His voice was soft, almost teasing. It didn’t sound like the Toji you had known—who was often sharp, indifferent, and blunt. There was something different about him now. Something... vulnerable? You couldn’t place it.
He gestured for you to join him inside the café, and after a long pause, you did.
The café was quiet, filled with the soft murmur of a few patrons and the clink of coffee cups. Toji didn’t look like the same man you had walked away from. His once-polished, dangerous exterior was now rougher, like he’d been worn down by the world. He had that haunted look in his eyes—like he’d lost something, or maybe never had anything to begin with.
"I thought you were done with this life," you said, your voice barely above a whisper as you took a seat opposite him. You hadn’t planned to confront him like this, but there was no hiding from the truth.
Toji shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "I thought I was too." He met your gaze, his eyes hardening for a moment. "Guess life has a funny way of pulling you back in."
A silence fell between you both. The years that had passed seemed to disappear in the space between words, but the scars from the past remained, as fresh as ever.
"I’ve been… trying to live a quiet life," you confessed. "I didn’t want that chaos anymore, Toji. I wanted peace."
Toji’s eyes softened for a moment, and for the first time, you saw something akin to regret in them. "I know," he said quietly. "I never wanted to drag you into my world. You deserved better than that."
You clenched your fists under the table, fighting the flood of emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. "Then why did you pull me in at all? Why couldn’t you just walk away from it?"
Toji's jaw tightened, and you saw the familiar frustration flicker in his eyes. "Because I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to." He looked down at his hands. "Still don’t know how to."
The honesty of his words hit you like a punch to the chest. This wasn’t the Toji who had pushed you away so easily. This was someone who had been through hell, who had been broken by the very things that had once made him feel alive.
"I didn’t want to hurt you," Toji said, his voice almost too soft. "I was never good for you. You deserved someone who could give you more than what I had to offer. But I... I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Even after all these years."
Your heart skipped a beat. His confession was raw, vulnerable, and for a moment, it felt like the walls you had built between you both were starting to crumble.
You took a deep breath, your emotions swirling inside you. "You left me, Toji. You didn’t just walk away. You shut me out completely."
He winced, the pain evident on his face. "I know. I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was doing what was best for you by keeping you away from my life. But I was wrong."
You didn’t know what to say to that. You had spent so many nights wondering if he ever thought about you, if he ever regretted walking away. Now, hearing him speak so openly, you felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest—but at the same time, you didn’t know how to navigate the broken pieces of your past.
"What now?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Toji leaned forward, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. "I don’t know. But I’m not going to walk away this time. Not unless you want me to."
The silence stretched between you both, thick with unspoken words, raw emotions, and the weight of the past. It wasn’t a simple decision. It never could be with Toji. But for the first time in years, you felt a glimmer of hope.
Later that evening, as you walked side by side through the streets of Tokyo, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were making a mistake. Toji Fushiguro had never been someone who played by the rules, and yet, here you were, stepping back into his world.
But as you glanced at him—his tall frame, the hardened lines of his face softened by the quiet of the night—you knew one thing for sure: You weren’t walking away this time.
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 15 hours ago
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Hello, Miss Raven!
I hope you are having a nice day ^^
I was wondering since you don't have a Yuusona, have you ever thought making your own Yuusona like what traits, gender and personality would you have for them?
And how would their relationship be with Miss Raven would they be friends?
Sorry if I'm asking something you don't feel comfortable answering just feel free to ignore it. I'm enjoying your work and I'm new here so I hope I wasn't a bother! Love your work 🫶
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I’ve thought about making a Yuu of my own on more than one occasion. However, I’ve never been a fan of the roles designated for self-inserts… It’s hard to commit. Even if I were to make my Yuu less of a Yuusona (ie just Me but in the Twst world) and more of an OC (an entity totally separate from myself), I always lose motivation somewhere along the way.
That’s of course not to disparage anyone who has a Yuu though!! I just personally find it a struggle to design around a somewhat predetermined identity. There’s less freedom in a Yuu because they have to meet certain parameters in order to “make sense” in the story. For example, Yuus are generally from our ordinary world and magicless. I don’t like having those limitations (and though I could go against it, I’d refrain in order to not break canon lore). That’s why my first Twst OC is very far removed and exists as her own thing.
For fun, here’s some of my scraped Yuu concepts, including doodles. They're not really "Yuusonas" though, more like original characters that happen to be filing in for Yuu:
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Yuu 1: Mad Scientist Yuu
The earliest iteration.
This Yuu is ~16, male. Considered nonbinary at one point too.
The notes in the image basically describe him. Germaphobe, has lots of band-aids (because he is accident-prone), constantly tired + has dark undereye circles due to excess stress and lack of sleep.
Frequently seen in face mask, lab coat, and latex gloves.
“Don’t bother me” energy. Very curt with people and just wants to be left alone.
Claims to be an egalitarian because he “hates everyone equally”.
As the story went on, he would have learned to lighten up and work with others too. Basically, the same arc the NRC students have.
I didn't think too deeply about what his relationship with Miss Raven would be like... Most likely, he just dislikes and avoids her like he does the rest of the NRC population.
Yuu 2: “Robert Philip the Divorce Lawyer” Yuu
Twisted from the divorce lawyer love interest in Enchanted 😭 YES, I SAID WHAt i SAiD…
This Yuu is 35ish, male.
Has a very girly young daughter back home. She is basically his motivation to return.
His ex-wife left him. (YES I AM KEEPING THIS LORE.) Has sworn off love since then but is dating another woman for practical reasons.
Very anti-romance and anti-fairy tales.
Somewhat grumpy.
Logical, pragmatic. Some would say calculating.
Constantly arguing with Crowley because he knows his rights and how many laws Crowley is violating/j
He wouldn’t have been a student but more like a faculty member and father figure to the NRC students. By being in Twisted Wonderland, he helps to mentor the boys as though they were his own children, and the boys in turn teach him about magic, imagination, and believing even in seemingly impossible things.
Had an idea about him finding true love in Twisted Wonderland too; this would basically be his Giselle. Maybe a kind lady from Foothill Town??
Robert!Yuu was going to be sort of a secondary father figure to Miss Raven. Crowley is her real guardian, but he's usually not fulfilling the typical duties of a guardian so Robert!Yuu has to step up. In a lot of ways, Miss Raven reminds him of an older version of his own daughter so he has a soft spot for her. He also tries his best to advise her on life and boys. I imagine that he and Miss Raven have that Hades and Megara scene where she's gushing about Hercules and Hades goes, "Please. HE'S A GUY!!"
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Yuus 3 and 4: Twin Yuus
The bangs they have are borrowed from Robert!Yuu because I liked them and was too lazy to try something new out—
They’re brother and sister, both 17. I wanted to play around with the concept of multiple Yuus in Twisted Wonderland at the same time. Twins because they are supposed to be “a mirror image” of the other.
The theme these two would explore is gender, particularly expectations vs reality.
They come from an old money family; each twin has very traditionally gendered expectations placed on them but their secret is they swap places and pretend to be the other twin so as to get out of their own responsibilities, as the girl is tomboyish and the boy is more feminine.
They continue this act in Twisted Wonderland in order to "protect" one another, but their relationship becomes strained with each OB. For example, the male twin would become increasing protective, feeling like it is his responsibility to keep his sister safe. This would earn him his sister's ire since he never smothered her before. The twins would eventually reconcile and come to reach a middle ground regarding one another's expression of their gender and how that informs their behavior toward one another.
In another variation, only the male-presenting twin would be isekai'd to Twisted Wonderland. It would later be revealed that "he" is actually a "she". The explanation that she provides for acting masculine is to rebel against the expectations of her family (who had arranged a marriage for her prior to her being isekai'd).
... But then there's ANOTHER twist 🤡 and it turns out that her "masculine self" closely resembles her actual twin brother (who is now deceased). The idea is that she partly acts this way as a trauma response and relies a lot on "speaking" with her brother for advice on how to move forward in Twisted Wonderland. Like, she has pretend conversations with him in her head.
Her character arc would have been centered around detaching herself from the expectations placed on her, as well as learning to let her brother go and become her own person.
ASDSBDABSDOSA I feel like Miss Raven would be so confused trying to keep track of the twins and/or the single twin's dramatic backstory. She'd be pretty cordial with them though! Maybe even tries to counsel them when they're fighting or closed off from others.
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Yuu 5: Ara Ara Onee-san Yuu (WIP name is Sumire -> Suu -> her variation of “Yuu”, lol)
The best designed one, probably.
The only one with a proper name, too :v
She's 18 and female!
Started off as a joke between me and a friend. We were talking about how we think many of the first year students would be into "onee-san" types.
As you may or may not be able to tell by the design, she's meant to be a caring big sister character. Sweet, patient, and motherly. Even gardens and bakes! The type you know you can always go to when you need advice or comforting.
YEAH I GAVE HER DEAD ANIME MOM HAIR, SO WHAT???? The bangs swooping over one side of her face gives her sort of a mysterious air!
She looks very kind (and that's because she is), but she is also very air-headed. Like she'll pick up a worm and hold it in your face and ask you if you think it's cute.
Has a secret sadistic side. Not malicious and won't go out of her way to cause problems, but she'll gush about how she thinks you being frustrated or struggling with a task is "cute".
The arc Sumire would go on is one revolving around her status as the "older sister" of the group and finding a "pure" way of loving her friends. There's nothing wrong with having that role, but her issue is that she relies on it to be her personality and often gives away too much of herself at the cost of her own mental and emotional wellbeing.
It's like... codependency. She loves you because (whether she knows it or not) because she NEEDS validation from others. And because she wants that validation so much, she forces herself to be someone she's not at her core. Someone agreeable and sweet. That becomes very taxing for her.
If she feels as though someone is going to leave her, she'll either love bomb or have a mental breakdown in private. TO BE CLEAR, this is not healthy behavior and she's supposed to grow out of this obsessiveness over the course of the main story.
By that logic, she's more manipulative and selfish than she seems at a glance. I guess you could describe her true personality as being yandere or even menhara?? But she usually masks it well.
Miss Raven has a history of falling for pretty smiles, so I think she'd also be a victim of this one. She would look up to Sumire as like "the peak lady" and the big sis she's always wanted. REALLY feeding into her secret ego there, Miss Raven... and Sumire, being herself, would just giggle and pat her on the head to keep that toxic relationship going.
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honeypleasejustkillme · 1 year ago
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i’m trying my hardest to not act how i feel
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thelilylav · 5 months ago
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I’ve gotta admit as much as I know Darabella is a flawed ship (and some of the ppl who are anti for it have legit criticisms I love y’all for pointing it out cause it frustrates the hell out of me too trust) they’ll always just kind of be it for me.
Because as much as it was an “I can fix him” trope, as much as Rosabella could be selfish and Daring’s flaws got cranked up to 1000, she was also the first person to look at him after his destiny, the thing he dedicated his life to, failed, when people were questioning him as a prince and putting pressure on his and Apple’s relationship and tell him that, like, maybe it would be alright? Maybe this wasn’t his destiny, and maybe that was okay.
And the part that really gets me? She’s the first person after this happens to tell him that it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside, which as much as you can like other Daring ships or him whatever he desperately needed to hear. Not even cause he was selfish, that’s not what I’m saying, but bc he placed his whole identity on this image that people concocted for him based on him appearing the perfect prince. He was handsome, he was talented, and he was handsome! So who cares about him as a person?
Idk man. You spend four seasons (I watch the specials on Netflix so that’s why four idk if it’s three to some ppl or whatever tho) watching him be praised for his looks, watching girls fawn over him, and of course he enjoys it so nobody really questions how much he enjoys it. And then you get this girl, this girl who owes him nothing, this girl who (contrary to popular belief apparently) has a life of her own and people she cares about outside of him, and she’s nice to him. And she’s the first person after everything happens to just be nice to him, for the sake of being nice. Something about that will always hit different for me
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zorosdimples · 4 months ago
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knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it
#tumblr would be tumblr without me—as would the self ship community. it’s silly for me to feel so invested this Thing that is just that:#a Thing. it can’t give me the love or care or satisfaction with life that i’m looking for. i’ve been hiding on here—escaping reality.#because it’s fun to live in an imaginary world where i’m everything i want to be. where i’m the main character.#but in doing so i’ve been neglecting the ugly parts of my real life; the pain and hurt and harsh realities.#over the past couple months it has become apparent to me that i tend to put too much trust and effort into people#who have neither the capacity nor the desire to reciprocate.#so i just look like a fool in the end. (this isn’t about anyone here—just a pattern of behavior in general.)#at the end of the day#having thousands of followers on tumblr has no impact on my real life. if anything it makes me feel more isolated than ever.#because it’s yet another arena where i feel like i have to carve out my own space; i’ve never been good at taking up space.#anyway i suppose i’ll take the weekend away and see how i feel. i’ve had a lot of shit happening irl that has been so horribly difficult.#so maybe getting through all of that will help me feel more comfortable on my own blog again.#if you read this all i’m so sorry. i’ll prob regret posting my heartfelt thoughts in the future but at this very moment i don’t care.#self preservation be damned.#please support ficsforgaza; i’ll still be helping aleks over there because it’s one of the few places where i feel useful.#okay i’m done now. i’ll see you later. i wish you all so much love and nothing but the best.#tw personal
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insanechayne · 16 days ago
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~ ~ ~
#today I am sad about something that I know objectively is dumb#my 30th birthday is next week and the party will be next Saturday and I’m having a dinner at a nice restaurant in town#I wasn’t supposed to make it to 30 and never thought I would but now somehow I have and so this birthday is like…#a really huge deal to me you know#and I always wanted to be able to have a big party to celebrate this specific occasion and in my head I pictured all my friends/family there#I figured this would be one of the biggest parties I’d ever get to throw because to me this is the biggest milestone I’ve gotten to so far#but out of all the people I’ve invited the most that will probably reasonably show is about 10#and even that’s a bit iffy because tbh I’m pretty sure my bestie will flake on me like he always does#and if he doesn’t show up that might just end the friendship but that’s another matter entirely#also iffy because I haven’t gotten a lot of responses still even though I made the event and sent invites two weeks ago#I just… thought I had more friends than that if that makes sense#like I had bigger parties with more people attending in high school and I barely had any friends then#I’ve thrown low key Halloween parties in my mom’s apartment that had more people show up#now I’m at the most important moment of my life (so far) and I’ll barely have anyone with me#lately it just feels like less and less people care about me for real despite how many I know around work or how many are on my Facebook#it feels like my world keeps shrinking and I really don’t want that because it’s been small enough as it is#I just feel like I’m never really going to find my place or have big groups of friends like everyone else#I’m never going to have a group of friends or people I can rely on to spend time with me when needed#as it is planning things gets harder the older we get anyway just due to needing to tend to adult life#guess I still just want what everyone else has and I don’t know why I can’t have those things#and I know it’s stupid and selfish and whiny but I really want to cry because I’m so depressed that I have barely anyone in my life at all#barely anyone to celebrate something so important to me and so few who even seem to care at all either#I’m grateful for everyone I do have honestly#but that doesn’t offset this weird pain in my chest over this whole situation#maybe I should just curl up and cry until this all passes and I can go back to pretending it doesn’t matter#personal
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rosicheeks · 4 months ago
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I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3
😭
#I’ve been getting such sweet asks#I can’t tell you how much they mean to me right now#unfortunately my days have been pretty dark and overwhelming#struggling more than I ever have before tbh#and I’ve struggled most of my life so that’s saying something#also tried to go on TikTok for a little bit and oh BOY that was a bad decision#I might come back sometime soon#it’s just hard when my meds and everything have been making me very sex repulsed 😬#and half of the posts on my feed are very sexy related lol#so I guess that’s probably the main reason I haven’t been on here as much as I used to#also really don’t have the energy to reply or talk to people anymore#(sorry to anyone who has tried to DM me or contact me in any way -#I’ve barely been able to get out of bed so I definitely don’t have the energy to reply to people)#fun fact I went on TikTok finally cause everyone keeps talking about it#somehow ended up on the abortion debate side of TikTok???? so I kept seeing these bullshit debates#the final straw was the other day I saw some dipshit put as their claim ‘prochoice is a mental illness’#don’t even get me started on that it makes me so made I start to shake#I’m sorry but that is so offensive to people who are struggling with real mental illnesses???#went up as a guest (surprisingly) and was trying to explain how ridiculous that statement was and one of the people literally said#‘this is not a safe space’#lol ok byeeeee#obviously not expecting every where to be a safe space but for someone to literally SAY that is wild to me#I always try to keep a safe space no matter who I’m talking to or what about#that still is bothering me so so much#main reason why I’m still on there is cause I love this creator and want to support her as much as possible#but idk how much longer I can be on there… was even thinking about trying to post and make money over there#but ha ha ha guess not#back to square one#I’m running out of space as always but thank you so so so much for the kind words they mean the world to me!! also FAIRY princess???#I’ve never heard that before 🥹🥹🥹 thank you thank you thank you wishing you a lovely day 🫶
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hobisexually · 11 months ago
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x
#it’s so fucking weird to know that.#idk.#I just turned 32 and yes! that is still young!#but all my friends my age are somewhere I’m not#and I think. until recently. I was still holding out#hope? maybe? that i would suddenly do a sprint and catch up with them#and be normal#have the life I always thought I would eventually lead#but the older I get and the more friends have babies and buy houses with their partner#I still……. don’t have that deep burning wish? and it scares me so much#but it also scares me to be so behind#and I always take soooooooo long with everything#even when I was 19 I behaved more like a 14 year old at times#and I’ve HAD this conversation with my mum I know it’s the ~trauma and a result of the emotional abuse#but I still hate it and it makes me feel so small#and when someone you’ve been in love with for longer than you care to admit#suddenly jokingly asks you what the status is re: wanting children#and you’re afraid to answer honestly because 1) the only future you’ve ever seen with anyone was with them everyone else scared you#(even though they also scare you. but differently)#and 2) what if it doesn’t align with the way they envision their life#what if that’s the final straw for them to be like . it’s not gonna be you .#because if I’m really honest a part of me still thinks we’re going to happen one day and I need to get OVER that but . yk?#like just last week I had a dream I was pregnant and I woke up genuinely terrified because I just don’t WANT it#it felt final? for the first time? I always had my options open and I love kids but I just. think I have decided I don’t want to birth any#and that is also terrifying.#idk I’m grieving being normal#and normal is relative#and 32 is young yes anything could happen#but holy fuck do I hate it#and I hate that my options are closing in on me and I hate the clock always ticking in the back of my mind but being unable to keep up
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squuote · 1 year ago
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realizing that maybe I am just some crow who does not like labels. or at least using too many
#crow thoughts#sorry this is about queer stuff tehe ^___^#but fr I’ve kinda decided that queer is enough for me. like I’m comfy with aro and enby as defining terms#but in terms of my overall sexuality queer is enough for me :-)#honestly while this is about queer stuff I think this also can be used for an sort of identity label for myself#I think I’ve just come to the conclusion that I hate being put inside a defining box for others to assume of me#aside from the ones I actually want to be in#finding out I was aro was kind like one of the best things for me in terms of identity#cause I’ve never rlly given a shit about my sexuality. if I think someone’s cute I think they’re cute#if I don’t think they’re cute then I don’t think they’re cute! simple easy and flows just right for me#in the end it doesn’t matter because to me that aspect of myself is tiny like it doesn’t rlly define me that much#I’m glad to have any identity that allows me to push away the forceful nature of heteronormativity#same with being nonbinary! tho that one was an easy fit hehe#but I’ve also been thinking about other identity stuff as of late too. not just gender n sexuality#like religion and the whatnot. you know the deal#and like yknow what? nah you don’t get a defining term on that personal shit#you don’t get to know why I like calling myself a crow or my religion or whatever other personal shit I got going on#I’m just me. just foster. I’m not one defining characteristic I’m just me#I’m more comfortable with myself than I’ve ever been in my life. I know myself and I will continue to learn more#but I’m comfy not telling anyone until I wanna mention it :-)
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just-rogi · 1 year ago
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#listen I know this is insane and parasocial and crazy#right?#I’m aware I’m in the wrong here#but#I’ve loved Taylor swift since I was like ten years old#and during her 1989 era she did an interview where she said if calories didn’t count she’d eat chicken tenders#years later she came out and said that during that time in her life she was struggling with ED and was miserable#and was recovering#and has been open about the fact that she’s continued to struggle but is choosing to heal#and she’s been like one of the only public figures to actually talk about ed in a way that actually meant anything to me#and it’s not my business it doesn’t matter ok it doesn’t fucking matter and I wouldn’t say this to her or anyone or w ever#but she was just at a football game eating chicken tenders#and man#it’s not about me it’s not my business and doesn’t effect me in ANY way#but GOD I wanted to cry#bc I feel like sometimes it’s not ever worth it and you never really recover and no matter how hard you try#recovery is unobtainable in any permanent way and you can be clean for days or weeks or months or YEARS#but it never really goes away not really you just kinda have to decide one day that healing is worth more now than how painful#and difficult and humiliating recovering is#and MAN it’s NOT about me and I shouldn’t care about what a billionaire is eating for lunch because it doesn’t effect me#and it’s invasive and parasocial and kinda gross to even know that shit about her#but god idk why her stupid chicken tenders and semingly ranch are making me cry#I hope she loved her chicken tenders I hope they were amazing I hope she didn’t even think twice about eating them#but if she did - because I feel like I always will- I’m glad she chose to get them anyway#it’s so hard to explain bc it feels so stupid lol#fuckin ranch too goddamn lol
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