#but it also scares me to be so behind
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hobisexually · 10 months ago
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#it’s so fucking weird to know that.#idk.#I just turned 32 and yes! that is still young!#but all my friends my age are somewhere I’m not#and I think. until recently. I was still holding out#hope? maybe? that i would suddenly do a sprint and catch up with them#and be normal#have the life I always thought I would eventually lead#but the older I get and the more friends have babies and buy houses with their partner#I still……. don’t have that deep burning wish? and it scares me so much#but it also scares me to be so behind#and I always take soooooooo long with everything#even when I was 19 I behaved more like a 14 year old at times#and I’ve HAD this conversation with my mum I know it’s the ~trauma and a result of the emotional abuse#but I still hate it and it makes me feel so small#and when someone you’ve been in love with for longer than you care to admit#suddenly jokingly asks you what the status is re: wanting children#and you’re afraid to answer honestly because 1) the only future you’ve ever seen with anyone was with them everyone else scared you#(even though they also scare you. but differently)#and 2) what if it doesn’t align with the way they envision their life#what if that’s the final straw for them to be like . it’s not gonna be you .#because if I’m really honest a part of me still thinks we’re going to happen one day and I need to get OVER that but . yk?#like just last week I had a dream I was pregnant and I woke up genuinely terrified because I just don’t WANT it#it felt final? for the first time? I always had my options open and I love kids but I just. think I have decided I don’t want to birth any#and that is also terrifying.#idk I’m grieving being normal#and normal is relative#and 32 is young yes anything could happen#but holy fuck do I hate it#and I hate that my options are closing in on me and I hate the clock always ticking in the back of my mind but being unable to keep up
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luna-loveboop · 8 months ago
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I want. Four to get appreciation. Because
Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured
The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal
But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff
From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them
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So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)
He took care of Epona
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Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her
And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance
He took care of Twilight's stuff
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He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place
And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.
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Also- because of his placement in this scene
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I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything
And he did housekeeping!
Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn
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Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in
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Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn
Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn
Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious
There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future
But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way
Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things
No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?
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Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))
#epona is so important#Lu four#linkeduniverse#linked universe#I work with horses and#Epona is INCREDIBLE- she's extremely attuned to humans and emotions. she doesn't scare easily and can keep her cool in a fight#but it's still super stressful to suddenly be in a fairly large and populated town- separated from her person#and for such an empathetic horse? Four going and TALKING to her- gently petting her nose and just being near her#means so so much! that literally matters so much to a horses mental state in a foreign situation- just having company#he checked on Epona and gave her company like !!!!!! it's so considerate and means so much for Epona! Four I love you !!!!!#uhhhh yeah!#with the food- I don't think the innkeeper would have free/complimentary food out- but wars wallet def had it covered#then wild showed up with potions in a cooking frenzy- but four was still shown with food behind him- he thought of everything#I don't know what's gonna happen with the shadow crystal and stuff. but no matter what happens in the future- this matters.#he did a ton of small things no one else thought of it matters he cares so much didjdkdksjfjj#I have a lot of posts I'm making/editing and trying to get to. I'm just a little gal trying my best :/#so many ideas and so little time... I love you guys and this fandom so much :))#(if I said anything off or offensive let me know... I'm always nervous about that but I want to hear from you if I'm wrong)#(also you are so so cool and valuable don't forget that ok? I love you and you are important)#:)
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade  tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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isjasz · 1 year ago
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[Day 80]
Lil animation wip today (MAYBE ill color it) inspired by this hollow knight au :DDD
no i have no clue what the lore is yet cant wait to get destroyed once i actually watch/play the game more👍
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dirtytransmasc · 8 months ago
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the Sully kids' reaction to Jake saying Spider "knew everything" breaks my heart.
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they knew him better than anyone else, better than their parents. they knew his love for Eywa, for Pandora, for The People, for the clan, for their family. they knew he would never tell the RDA anything... not willingly at least.
they knew they were leaving because Spider would be tortured for information, he'd be forced to reveal their home, their plans, their numbers, their weaknesses. their brother would be tortured and they were being forced to leave him behind.
they knew they were being forced to find a new home, without their brother, because their dad knew he would be tortured.
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gen4grl · 2 months ago
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you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol
i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)
#pokemon#pkmn#trainer red#rival blue#trainer leaf#i made them classy and smoke from a joint idk maybe i should of done the classic aussie teen experience and make them smoke from a water#bottle bong 🤩 red is a massive foodie so ofc he has the multiple options of snacks ready lol my go-to fried food was a capriccosia pizza 😭#i’m always conflicted on the blue smoking hc (just cigarettes yall lol) i often see fanart of professor blue smoking and i see the vision#50/50??? let me ask the audience 🗣️ i think i’m bias cause i am cursed with thinking men who smoke are extremely attractive lmao#there is 100% lore behind that second piece but i am so burnt out and i don’t think it’ll fit in tags lol#also just have a raging fear of sharing anything kantrio related LOL like raging projectile vomiting level anxiety#blue fears repeating the toxic cycles he grew up in but oops he’s doing exactly that in the second piece 🧐#wowzers … as kieran would say lol … i love writing and thinking about blue and his emotional growth over those 3 years red was missing#but hey sometimes something hurts so badly it takes you back to that sad and scared child version of yourself right?#strength to me is like: red >>>>>>> leaf >> blue🤷🏻‍♀️ they technically both canonically beat blue in gamecanon so … my girl is strong sorry#ain’t standing shy timid leaf in this house …#also - despite being acespec myself i didn’t know demi was under the ace umbrella! i think it suits red super well imo :p#pan aswell bc i don’t think he gaf 😭 also shout out to one of my fave pkmn artists kiriato 🫶🏻🤧 i was going through such bad art block and#their work inspired all of these :3 i love their stuff sm espcially their comics 🥹 i drew all of these using their brush sets too!!!#trainer blue#blue pokemon#red pokemon#leaf pokemon#pokemon art#pokemon fanart#pokemon frlg#trainer green#rival green#my art <3#kanto au
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bitchfitch · 2 months ago
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there's these purple flowers I pass when I go for my morning constitutional (checking my mail) and every single time I pass them I think "I should come back and take a picture of those once the sun is up!" and every time I go back out to get a picture of them I'm reminded why I haven't gotten a pic yet. They fucking close up once it starts getting hot and it's hot like 20 hours a day here. so have these pictures of some green bits and the impression of purple flowers instead
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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 4 months ago
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and happy pride to these assholes. it's still june so i can technially still make that joke right
#the nemesis speaks#nemesis art#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#god i hate tagging for new fandoms yall scare me. im stopping there#anyway i have too many directors notes for this. ive developed such a vivid image of john in my head#but absolutely nothing for the dude with the actual physical body lol#idk just thinking abt the fact that the trader said ''two appear before me'' implying he could perceive john visually#but it's hard to wrap my head around like. a totally separate body that john doesn't appear consciously aware of himself#so: i think they are generally tied together. like this.#but anyway yeah. tattered/torn piece of something else. shattered crown. open hood implying a face behind it.#(yellow also has/had a mask and an unbroken crown it's symbolic™)#the stains on the cloak are blood btw! since injury/death so consistently brings these two closer together#(and the red symbolically brings the yellow closer to arthur's brown color scheme)#the blood on the CROWN is legally john's though. or. the king's more accurately.#the intact crown on the king himself pierces through the cloak like barbs#this is all a metaphysical representation and not Actual blood ofc but (gestures vaguely) you get it#i'm talking too much whatever it's very late i probably shouldn't even be posting this WHO CARES#tomorrow i will have my proper pc back and not be drawing on an ipad old enough to have a tumblr acct maybe i'll do something better then#fuck it hit post#mv liveblog#<- almost forgot
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chrliekclly · 1 year ago
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jst realized i cn post this whole page now since i didnt draw n e thng while we shot mental health day, so heres all the doodles i did on set to try to remember things this season!
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ratatatastic · 17 days ago
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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beanghostprincess · 6 months ago
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Do you think there’s a chance OPLA will make non canonical ships into canon? I saw people noticing zo/lu got a lot more obsessed with each other scenes together and said it’s possible. Or mish/anks with how the actor openly supports the ships, with likes, comments, being open to fan bringing it up. What do you think?
Nah 😭 First things first, I HIGHLY doubt our dearest (sarcastically) (derogatory) Net*lix is going to make queer couples if it's not necessary. We're lucky we didn't get the show canceled with the amount of sapphic energy Nami and Kaya had going on, honestly. Two girls holding hands is enough to get a show canceled on that platform. And if they do make queer couples canon they're not going to be between the main characters, keeping in mind how much they're risking doing so.
And also,, I don't want any of the ships to be canon, either. The whole point is to not make romance between the straw hats in canon so it doesn't take the spotlight of their development and you view their dynamics however you want. I'd be annoyed if something as awesome as the next arcs that are to come get sidelined because Net*lix wanted romance. I mean, I wouldn't be annoyed if they made Namivivi canon or at least confirm some main characters to be queer, but it just feels like they'd do it to put their "we are so woke and cool we made your favorite character LGBT" pin and then... Do nothing about it later. As per side characters, idk, maybe there are some non-canon couples here and there and I don't really care but I wouldn't want it to be with the main characters. Especially with Luffy. Do not touch Luffy.
Luffy has such deep bonds with all characters in different ways, and you can see them as romantic, but making it canon just takes away that magic by putting a label on his feelings, something that I feel he wouldn't even do.
Worst case scenario they make Vivi x Koza or Zoro x Nami canon because if Net*lix doesn't have its daily unnecessary romance in shows it dies or smth.
So I don't think it's happening and I don't even want it to happen. The next arcs are so damn good and I really don't want to have to deal with ship wars or shit like that next season.
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chayannesegg · 9 months ago
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only watched clips of fit pov so I'm not fully informed yet but the evolution of fit deciding the "homophobia" is real is interesting.
like, initially he saw it for what it was: tubbo lashing out because he felt left out. he called tubbo out on this, he told ramon this, he laughed about it. tubbo was also cartoonish in his distaste, it was obvious he was hurting underneath.
but slowly he's become more and more genuinely annoyed by it even though tubbo has toned it down massively
tubbo basically just does his performative ick when faced with fitpac moments like one might if their parents kissed in front of them. he certainly still feels left out but it's also a bit (one pac loves to poke at bc he knows it's tubbo being stubborn and resistant to love)
but to fit, who wants tubbo to show him that he still cares about morning crew, it bothers him that tubbo can't just leave it be. it hurts every time tubbo rejects fit & pac's relationship, even jokingly. he doesn't understand why tubbo feels left out. he wants morning crew back to what they used to be.
tubbo for the longest time was the only person there with them when fit and pac were developing their relationship. no ramon. no richas. no mike. he teased fit but he also supported him. he was the buffer they needed to start acknowledging their feelings. he was their friend.
but now tubbo is standoffish. he shies away where he used to budge in. he doesn't know his place around fit and pac anymore and he's not brave enough to ask. he's scared of the answer.
and fit doesn't get why tubbo can't just believe they love them the same as before. why he's not acting like before. he feels rejected. he feels ignored. the comments about fit and pac have started to feel personal instead of just tubbo being insecure.
so when he sees tubbo reaching out to foolish, it hurts him. it seems like tubbo has just given up on the morning crew. and he wants to lash back. he wants to warn foolish about how tubbo can hurt him. he wants tubbo back. so he frames it around the going joke, that tubbo's homophobic, but it doesn't quite land (fit's not as good as tubbo at making jokes out of his own pain). it just ends up feeling too real and that's exactly the problem.
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hetaliafucker · 28 days ago
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Neighbours Usuk AU Fic Idea
I moved into my uni flat three weeks ago, and I keep running into the same guy in the stairwell, and it's giving me a New Neighbours Usuk fic idea.
Moments so far:
First meeting - I didn’t realise someone was behind me. I heard footsteps and turned and nearly had a heart attack. He kept apologising for scaring the life out of me, and we laughed the rest of the way down. We didn't take names.
Fire drill today - Bearing in mind, I had been in the shower just before it, so my hair was wet. We both entered the stairwell at the same time, but I was behind him this time. He heard me and turned around, recognised me, and said hello. Then, he waited at the bottom and held the door open for me, letting me out first. Very gentlemanly. I still don't know his name.
For context, I do not have a budding crush, I just mentioned the first incident to my mates because it was embarrassing but funny. One of them said it could be a really good meet-cute since he reads a lot, and I see the vision to be honest. So now I really wanna do a neighbours fic.
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After being in a Subspace cosplay all day I have new headcannons for him:
He's iron deficient, and generally malnourished, but bro has no iron. (I went to donate blood today but I was below the limit for it to be safe so I didn't get to)
He has at least some hypoesthesia in regards to temperature (ain't no way bro lives in an ice cold mountain range and is a okay wearing only one sleeve)
Part of something I did for my cosplay is get a voice modifier because I like to think that his face rotting affects his speech as well, so he has his mask make up for it (which makes his voice sound a bit robotic).
He would 100% get so annoyed everytime people ask him to say random stuff (people would ask me to say skibidi toilet and other stuff so much)
Part of why people go along with his plans is because they can't understand what he's saying half the time, plus he sounds super menacing, so better to just be a yesman than risk your eye
He has a replica stress ball of Medkit's eye (I painted a bouncey ball to look like Medkit's eye for the cosplay and it was actually so funny to throw around-)
Sadly I didn't bump into any other phighters but oh well! I got a decent amount of candy and people thought my costume was cool despite not recognizing it! (I also scared a lot of people too, apparently I sounded and looked intimidating lol!)
Pictures n stuff below!!!
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schizowitchic · 12 days ago
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uni reading vs. jjk fanfic....
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that-foul-legacy-lover · 1 year ago
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Listen I love FL he's such a scrunkly hehehehe such a blorbo, very happy shapes for my neuro divergent brain
My wife has joked to some of our friends that she's 86% sure that I'm a cryptid because of various factors (from being able to see well in complete darkness without any issues, calming down feral animals by just talking to said animal for a minute, etc).
And I'm thinking about FL with a reader that has cryptid energy and thinks he's just the cutest little guy ever hehehe like they're pretty weird in their own regard but they have a lot of heart and somehow have befriended lots of creatures throughout the world (from the regisvines to hilichurls to weenuts to the mushroom creatures, they're all about making friends)
*claps hands* hoyoverse make a character who is friends with Abyss Mages in a wholesome way, do it!!
you and Childe would get along famously since you both have a mischievous streak- when he's not on the clock, of course. your favorite activity is popping out from the shadows when he least expects it, acting like you've been there the whole time when you definitely weren't! he also adores how you become friends with any creatures you run across, ranging from cats all the way to the monsters of the wilderness (he swore he once saw you using an Abyss mage as a pillow), so he's not worried about introducing you to Foul Legacy at all
Foul Legacy, on the other hand, IS worried- what if he's the exception, the one monster you find terrifying? he wants you to like him as much as he likes you!! so when Childe finally allows him to meet you, he instantly tries to lower his head so he appears more friendly, less intimidating. luckily his worries are for naught, because you think he's the cutest, most beautiful beast you've ever seen, laughing with delight and cupping his cheeks so you can plant a kiss on his forehead. now whenever you happen to see Foul Legacy you immediately run towards him, hoisting yourself onto his shoulders so you can mess with his hair and horns, putting little flowers that you found earlier in his ginger locks
you both give shiny rocks to each other as gifts :)
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