#and i want to experience rewatching them again

[aceofwhump]

hope youre doing well!

just wanted to let you know that i started binging ted lasso the other day after going through your blog for recs on something to watch (as i do, often) and i ADORE it, so thank you!!

i just watched the episode where jamie’s dad is abusive to him in front of the entire team and i have to say that it’s some of the best emotional whump ive seen in a WHILE omg. rewatched that scene so many times,,,,

while im here ill ask if you happen to have any fav jamie fic recs? no pressure though if you cant think of any specific ones, ill likely go through the entire tag on ao3 lol

Hi! I am doing all right thanks! Hope you're well too!

Omg yay!! Ted Lasso is so good!!! I'm so glad you're watching it! Ugh that episode is one of my favorites! The emotions just kill me. I love Jamie Tartt so much. I too watched that scene on a loop. So good.

Oooooh yes I have recs for you my friend! Many! Go forth and enjoy!

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

Emergency Contact by relevanceisoverrated Summary: When Jamie ends up in the hospital after an accident, the hospital has to call his emergency contact, Ted.

The calm before the literal and figurative storm by Multifandom_damnation Summary: They lose to Man City, but they might lose a lot more than a game that day

Barn Raising by altschmerzes  Summary: After the locker room disaster in Manchester, Roy drives Jamie home. The chaos they find when they arrive at the house swiftly proves it is not a safe place to spend the night, forcing a change of plans and a reroute to Roy’s own home. The following day Jamie experiences, in this order: The most bewildering breakfast of his life, a penalty kick clinic with a seven-year-old, and an overwhelming display from his teammates that brings him face to face with the fact that not only has he been accepted back in Richmond it’s also possible he might be, in a way he can’t remotely process or understand, loved here.

Scaffolding by altschmerzes Summary: Jamie collapses at training the day before an away game far from home, running a fever, and somehow this ends up being Roy's problem. And Ted's, when he persuades Roy to take it in shifts. It's both of their problem, though it's a problem for them in different ways. Ted struggles to keep the feeling of being helpless from sending him too deep into his own head to stay where he's needed. His experience as a parent both helps and doesn't. As for Roy, hating Jamie was a lot simpler than caring about him is. Taking care of him? Roy doesn't have a clue where he got the idea he was competent enough to do that. Especially when it feels like all he does is mess it up.

The Same Story by altschmerzes Summary: “So,” Trent starts, keeping his voice mild and professional. “We have all, by now, seen the footage from the unfortunate run-in you had with your father, the night of the twenty-fifth of April in the car park at Coventry City FC’s pitch.” It would've been traumatic enough for Jamie's father to ruin Richmond's most recent victory in front of the whole team, but when the confrontation turns violent in front of a gaggle of reporters, the ensuing social media firestorm is even worse. Over the next two and a half weeks, Jamie will have to navigate the charges against his father, walk a gauntlet of publicity that he never asked for, and prepare to give the interview of a lifetime. Luckily, Richmond has always been there to catch him on the other side.

Better Angels by altschmerzes Summary: The second time that Jamie shows up, smirking and announcing that he can't participate in training because he's hurt is so much worse than the first time. He's changed a lot, grown up a lot, and no one knows why he's acting like this again when he's put so much time and effort into not being that person anymore. It feels like history is repeating itself, except… something isn't adding up. Sam is the one who puts it together, who sees the proof that Jamie very much is hurt, and has led everyone to believe that he isn't by telling them that he is in a way that sounded like an obvious lie. It makes his head spin, and he doesn't know what to do. Thankfully, his team captain and his coaches are there to figure it out. (Hypothetical season 3 timeline. Completely gen. Jamie is hurt in an accident. He doesn't handle it well.)

Something to be said by macaronicism Summary: First day back in training after what happened at Wembley is awkward, but everyone tries their best.

for speaking through walls by LadyCharity  Summary: When an incident in the match against West Ham leads to a threat to Jamie's well-being, Ted comes face-to-face with what he dreads the most. In which Jamie haunts Ted just as much as the dead.

don't let it in with no intention to keep it by jamietxrtt Summary: "Glass shatters to Jamie’s left, missing the front door by centimeters. He ignores it and ducks out into the cloudy London night, the cold night air raising the hairs on his bare arms. No time to hesitate and grab a jacket now, though, not with the suffocating smell of beer smoking him out of his own house."

it's such a long road when you go it alone by themightyduck Summary: Jamie goes down hard during the last match of the season and struggles to determine his worth outside football. Ted would like to stop seeing his boys get hurt on the field. Roy seeks to become emotionally well-adjusted and possibly even Jamie's close friend.

On Pure Instinct by Dandelion_Orange_Pips Summary:

Jamie was standing rigidly and staring at Ted’s hand in abject horror, unblinking. Then rose his gaze to meet Ted’s, tears now uncontrolled. The world seemed to come to a stop and Ted couldn't breathe. One wrong move.

Ted raised his hands, placating.

Then Jamie’s eyes snapped rapidly to his hand and back, becoming even wider. Ted froze.

“Jamie-”

Jamie ran.

Or: Ted tries his best to keep Jamie together after a tough game. He fails, but maybe it's for the best.

The Invalidated Silent Screams Of The Tormented by Cuppa_Char Summary: When a blast from the past unsettles Jamie it leads to a very public meltdown.

Somehow Everything Will Be Okay by Lilac_Lemonade Summary: What happened once the match against Richmond was over and Jamie's dad pulled him aside? Ted walked away after seeing him with his dad in the treatment room and Jamie thought that was it, just one more person on the list of people that had abandoned him. But what if Ted came back? What if Ted was the one to give Jamie the letter after Richmond's match against Man City?

mind games by sweetsorrowss Summary: jamie tartt is tired of being toyed with. he's tired of being manipulated. he's tired of people pretending that they care. when his father pays him a surprise and unwelcome visit, jamie finds solace in the one person he's convinced himself is pretending the most. but ted lasso isn't pretending, and maybe jamie deserves a place to call home after all.

Thick and Thin and Every Line by LivingProof Summary: In the aftermath of the match against Manchester City, Ted, Roy, and Jamie struggle with demons shared and separate. Then Beard’s here, then his dad is gone, just the gunshot crack of the door to herald their departure. He’d wince at the sound, but his muscles have turned to lead. And Jamie’s here, the only person in this room, the spotlight on him casting everyone else in shadow. He knows they’re out there somewhere, audience to a Greek fucking tragedy, and maybe when this is over they’ll realize they should be applauding.

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation by jumpfall Summary: What Ted remembers later is Beard saying, "Jamie's not putting any weight on it."

To Being Better by vxctorsfvlix Summary: Jamie-centric rewrite of the Ola's Restaurant scene in 3.03, featuring more hurt and also more comfort. Jamie's been struggling with the arrival of Zava, and how it's affecting his relationships with the team. Things come to a head on the opening night of Sam's restaurant.

for what you have tamed by LadyCharity Summary: "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." In which Ted and Jamie are tamed by their fathers, their traumas, and each other.

according to the calculations by telm_393 Summary: After everything, Jamie’s not alone.

an excess of warmth or coldness by bartonbones Summary: When Jamie is seriously injured during a match, Roy and Ted are reminded how much they care about him--as a son, or as a younger brother, or as an exposed nerve. Jamie is reminded what it's like to have people care when his face gets knocked in.

Wings Wouldn't Help You Down by ViolentlyRed Summary: He thought the most awkward thing he'd have to endure was a rigid Roy Kent embrace in the Man City locker room months ago. He was wrong. And he’s getting better at admitting when he’s wrong, so. Turning up on Coach's doorstep at two thirty in the morning was infinitely, infinitely more awkward. Or, Jamie's hurt and not about to say much about it, and Ted's a good coach.

Haunted by WinterAndMissHyde Summary: Isaac and Colin lock Jamie in a storage room at Nelson Road as part of a "harmless" joke. This brings Jamie a lot of bad memories back he'd rather forget and leads him to a panic attack. He also dislocates his shoulder trying to get out. Ted, Sam and Dani are there to comfort him in the aftermath. Set after Jamie comes back to Richmond on season 2.

the early arrival of a fragile spring by mballyntyne Summary: Coach, I’m me, he had said once, why would I want to be anything else? OR Jamie gets concussed, his dad is a terrible person, there are far too many references to sad disney films, and the sun finally begins to shine.

[inchesinbetweenus]

Sunshowers

a/n: should i turn this into a josh washington x reader series?

pairing: josh washington x fem!reader

warnings: just josh's poor mental health

word count: aprox. 2k

genre: fluff

summary: A rain cloud named "tragedy" seemed to follow Joshua Washington everywhere he went. It drenched his clothes, ruined his hair, and suffocated him. He was losing hope of ever feeling the sun on his skin again. Then you came along, and he hadn't felt such warmth in a long time.

 ---------------------

Some say a rain cloud named "tragedy" seemed to follow Joshua Washington everywhere he went. Some could hardly tell. Over time, he had learned how to live with the cold.

Many assumed he experienced the usual "rich kid problems" like his parents not letting him use their private yacht as a speedboat, or crying over not receiving enough presents for his birthday or Christmas, third-world problems really. While he was still young, the boy did experience more detached issues from his friends. These problems fleeted as quickly as they came. His childish attention span could only hold grudges for so long. One feeling that Joshua couldn't quite let go was loneliness.

Joshua first learned what it felt like to be alone when he was five. The deep pit in his chest started when he was very young, seeing Daddy leave for long periods to work on his movie projects. His mother, already used to the absence, busied herself to keep her sanity. Being left to take care of three young children is a daunting task. So she would hire nannies and babysitters to help fill the spaces she could not. Melinda tried her best, but it wasn't quite what her son needed. With his parents more distant than others, most of the time, Joshua never truly felt attached to anyone except for his sisters.

As they grew older, Joshua cared for them in the ways their parents lacked. In return, they did the same. The three siblings were incredibly close. It wasn't until Joshua was 10 that his family noticed something was wrong.

Joshua had grown up with the feeling that he was broken. Somewhere he couldn't quite figure it out. It all just felt wrong. That feeling and idea hung over his head in his low moments, but at some point, it felt consuming. He had brushed it off when it was easy to, a child had little time to be sad for too long. Over time it grew harder and harder to push away. It continued to grow and fester on his skin. Like a rash, he tried to conceal it, but to no avail. Now he felt like all could see. It took over him, and he had no idea what it was he felt or what he should do.

Soon enough, each day felt longer than the next. Each day, he spent more time in bed than out of it. Only leaving for necessity. Then something happened. The Washingtons spent copious amounts of money to hide the incident. All that is left of it, is a record in Joshua's doctor's notes regarding an "incident at school". Joshua was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at the age of eleven.

Joshua never felt a lack of people in his life. He felt a lack of connection. His sisters, his friends, Chris, and others, they could only do so much. Josh was a hopeless romantic, with emphasis on "hopeless". A movie enthusiast, a trait he shared with his father. Joshua spent many sleepless nights rewatching his favorite movies. Many being romances. Some nights he so desperately wanted someone to jump in and sweep him off his feet just like in those movies. Someone to share a connection with. Each year that passed without anything close only made him feel more hopeless. And then he met you.

                                                 ---------------------

Junior year, for you, meant a new school. Your high school had been next in line to be remodeled over the summer, and due to unexpected circumstances, it wasn't ready in time for the new year. Most students got distributed to other schools in the area, but you were out of the district of your old school, so you were placed in the correct school. Away from all your friends. You weren't entirely thrilled at this, but ultimately there wasn't anything you could've done. Not on such short notice, but maybe later in the year, you could get a transfer. Hopefully.

Walking into a new school is not for the faint of heart. Each class felt like forever. Former friend groups mingled as you tried to find your spot in it all. The realization you were alone tightened your chest. A silent prayer that it wouldn't last fell from your lips as you entered the next classroom. It was Physics, and it seemed you were pretty early. The kind teacher instructed you to pick your seat as you were one of the first there. You settled on a seat towards the front of the class, but not dead center. Your eyes focused on your phone as the rest of the students filed into the room. The seats beside you remained empty as groups found each other. The tightening in your chest grew until someone sat next to you. She was blonde and had her hair pulled back out of her face. She was beautiful, sporting a bit of a grungey look. With a smile on her face, she introduced herself to you. You learned her name was Samantha, and she also had no friends in that class. Her best friend was in the year below, so they often took different classes. After sharing schedules, you realized you had lots of classes together. The two of you seemed to let out a sigh of relief. Guess loneliness had missed its target today. You spent most of the day with Sam, she showed you around the school and provided insight into the teachers and student drama. At lunch, she introduced you to her best friend, Hannah, and Hannah's sister, Beth. You learned they were twins and their brother, Joshua, also attended the school in the year above them. The first day you already knew three new people you could talk to. This was going better than you expected.

One thing you were still concerned about was your last class. You had been placed into AP English Literature as a Junior. It was commonly a Senior class, but you tested out of AP English Language. This meant none of your new friends would be in that class, but Hannah and Beth had mentioned their brother taking that class. Was it possible you had the same period?

Walking into the warmly lit classroom was a relief in your eyes. The fluorescent lights in most of the other classrooms always strained your eyes when reading. The moody lighting was a nice change. Purple LED lights were strung around the top of the room, matching the deep purple of two of the walls. Warm fairy lights dangled beneath the LEDs, better fitting the other two white walls. A beautifully calming contrast. Sunlight poured in through the blinds of the windows behind the teacher's desk. It had been raining all day, a dreary first day. But now the weather seemed better. Only the raindrops still fell but the sun peeking through the clouds gave hope of better weather.

The desks were arranged in groups of four, with two seats facing the front and two facing each other. You chose a seat closer to the teacher and the windows. Not really wanting to face a new person, you chose one of the seats facing the front. Similar to your other classes, students walked in, but with less urgency than this morning.

The seat next to you remained empty. Two girls sat in front of you, they were nice but more interested in each other. You kept your attention on your phone as they chatted about the drama that already seemed to be happening on the first day.

Finally, the last wave of students walked in. With that group was a boy that looked slightly similar to the description Hannah and Beth had given of their brother. You noticed it all. The brown hair that looked slightly styled, the clothes he wore, and the goofy smile on his lips as he spoke with some friends. What you also noticed was a distinct look in his eyes. Despite all the laughs he shared as he walked in, his eyes looked like they held a sea of grief. You were shocked at how deep they were. Your face burned at this sudden infatuation with a stranger's eyes, but you couldn't help it. There were two open seats, and by whatever miracle it was, he chose to sit next to you. At least you thought it was a miracle.

"Good afternoon, class." The teacher looked up from her seat in the corner, surrounded by the sunlight peeking through the blinds. "Please take a few minutes to get acquainted with your tablemates. They will be your group for the year."

The two girls paid no mind to you and Joshua. Returning to their previous conversation. A smile pulled at your lips as you turned to face the boy next to you. Your gazes met, and you glanced over his features. Quite striking, but his eyes were something else. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on. If you weren't too busy with your own inner thoughts, you'd have noticed the brunette was staring right back at you.

"Joshua, right? I have lunch with your sisters."

The mention of his sisters snapped him back to the conversation as he blinked away his thoughts.

"Right, but everyone calls me Josh." The same goofy smile from before graced his face. "And you are?"

"Y/N."

                                                 ---------------------

Josh was usually focused in school. It was the one place he could muster the strength to get stuff done. On particularly bad days, he was allowed to stay home. Sure, he would get behind, but eventually, he could catch up. Once his medicine kicked in. If it kicked in. Last year was particularly rough, but not rough enough to stop him from placing in one of his favorite classes AP Literature. He looked forward to the film portion of that class, and wouldn't let anything get in his way of it. He worked his ass off studying for the AP Lang exam, passing with flying colors. His current medicine seemed to work, for now.

He walked into AP Literature, actually excited for the class. He split off from Chris and his other friends as they walked to their final classes. Being almost late for his classes was a signature for Josh, and his teachers had learned it was best to not mention it. It was a fight they couldn't win anyway. Josh was expecting to love this class but for an entirely different reason than now. Now he found himself drawn to a new face.

It was a girl. She was definitely new, between Josh and his friends, he knew most people at the school. A new person would've been noticed. How he hadn't noticed her before, he didn't know, but now she was the only thing he could notice. Her hair looked purposefully done, even if it was just brushed there was intent there. There was intent in everything about her appearance no matter how small. But what he really was looking at was her eyes. There was a warmth in her eyes that he didn't see from many people. As cliche as it sounds, time felt slower. With a breath in, Josh almost wished he could stay here and figure out what it was about this girl he was so interested in.

Without much thought, Josh walked over to the empty seat next to her. He settled in the spot. Usually, Josh sat in the back of the class, not wanting to be front and center. That was the last thing he was thinking of right now. He turned to the teacher as she spoke. The sunlight danced through the blinds.

"Please take a few minutes to get acquainted with your tablemates. They will be your group for the year."

His eyes followed the light that glimmered in the rain, the way it fell on her felt almost poetic. A pause before either of them spoke. Taking in the sight of her, he could've sworn she was looking at him the same way. She spoke first; her voice was just as warm as she looked. She spoke of his sisters, snapping back into the conversation, Josh felt a smile pull at his lips.

"Right, but everyone calls me Josh."

Nobody really called him Joshua except for his parents, his teachers, his doctors, or people he didn't know well. Maybe something in him wanted to get to know her more, or he felt more at ease knowing she was friends with his sisters. Whatever it was, he welcomed it. "And you are?"

"Y/N"

"Y/N"

He repeated her name lightly.

Some say a rain cloud named "tragedy" seemed to follow Joshua Washington everywhere he went. Some could hardly tell. Over time, he had learned how to live with the cold. Well, for once, he could've sworn the sun was peeking through the rain. And he knew that what he only ever wanted was to bask in its warmth. Maybe you could help him do that.

[shigarakisstalker]

hiii !! I love your writing so much and I’ve been rewatching mha so I stumbled across your page and i couldn’t be happier!

and so I was wondering if I could ask for dabi x fem!reader who kinda has family issues too? like they’re both the eldest and kinda deal with lack of recognition? so that’s kinda something they bond over as they get closer?

thank youuu 💞💘

hi darling! i love this ask sm and i’ve actually been thinking of something similar loll thank you so much! this is a little ooc but eh

hollow home (dabi x fem!reader)

the rooftop was quiet. nothing could be heard for miles except for the echo of your muffled hiccups.

it was one of those nights. one of those nights where think back on all the bullshit and it haunts your mind once again. never being enough, working so hard to fit the role given to you, only to be met with nothing but disappointment. nothing was ever enough. being a villain didn’t make it any better.

but it was an escape.

while your mind was at war, you didn’t register the building door opening to the roof top. a black haired male took notice of your form, especially shocked to see that you were crying.

you weren’t the type to cry so easily. so when he saw you nearly hyperventilating he knew it was bad.

so in his own, fucked up way, he tried to help.

“aye, got a smoke?” his hoarse voice broke through the silence.

you quickly whipped your head around, slightly startled by the voice. how long had he been there?

“calm it woman i just got here. so you got any smokes or what?” he said, almost as if reading your mind. “i dont wanna be out here all night.”

you quickly shoved your hand into your pocket, pulling out a little box of cheap cigarettes and throwing it at him. “have the whole thing i don’t want them.” you huffed, before discreetly trying to wipe away any excess tears that had fallen.

“what’s got you so worked up doll?”

you let out a humorless laugh, “oh we’d be here for hours.”

“i’ve got some time, just not all night. i got a mission tomorrow.” he huffed as he sat down beside you.

you took notice of how close he was immediately. you didn’t say anything about it though, and just continued thinking. “just the past coming back to haunt me. especially on nights like these.”

“we all get those nights, doll. and what might be haunting you?”

you sighed, before tacking a drag of the cigarette he lit for you. “i was the oldest child of my family, and i guess i just over reflect sometimes and feel like i’m back in the pit i once was in. trying so hard to meet expectations and coming short handed. nothing is ever enough. and when we fail missions, as we did tonight, i feel back in that head space. i feel like i cant do anything right.” you sniffled again, water works beginning to form again.

damn it, you didn’t want to cry in front of him. especially with how complicated your feelings were for him.

“i was the oldest too. and i could never meet my fathers expectations. he fucked me up. and i’ve come to resent him instead of pity the situation. you need to fight back against that little thought in your head driving you insane. it’ll kill your spirit if you keep entertaining it. i talk from experience.” he slung an arm around your head and pulled you closer.

“you’re gonna be alright, doll. the expectations set on you are not a reflection of who you are. your worth is not determined if you meet them or not. you determine your own worth. and who gives a damn what other people think of you?” he finished, lightly petting your head.

he then leaned down to your ear, “and if you want my opinion, hand job is a man child who cries like a bitch when he doesn’t get what he wants. that’s not a reflection of you.” he chuckled when he heard you giggled at the nickname.

you sat up and brushed the excess tears off your face, sitting up straight and giving him a small smile. “thank you, dabi. really.”

“of course doll, if you need me i’m here. don’t tell anyone about this though. can’t have them thinking i’m all soft and shit.”

you giggled and punched his shoulder, “alright bacon bits.”

i hope this is okay! i couldnt quite figure out words today 😭 if you want a rewrite i can do that too

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Am I rewatching the hatchetfield trilogy today? Maybe. You can't prove anything.

[chipistrate]

I think Mike and Vanessa should talk about their family at some point and Mike brings up Abby and Vanessa's like "oh yeah I have a little sibling too, his name's Gregory. We aren't blood, but we've been through hell together so we might as well be!"

[frog-chemicals]

Shoutout to Quinton Reviews for once again rearranging my brain chemistry

[wormsdyke]

3am pacing around the room in a heated debate with myself over which movie should fill the 4th slot on my letterboxd profile

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

I always thought HyunChan would be the first to get tattoos.

[caramelmochacrow]

utena, man.

[rhys-ravenfeather]

I will admit upfront that this is just 100% me being bitter, and probably a bit petty, not to mention basically just repeating myself since I’ve said stuff like this before in previous posts, but as a biracial person, I really wish that there was more representation/recognition of biracial people, and the mixed-race experience, not only in canon media, but in more fandom circles.

[celticwoman]

decided im gonna read thg on my phone even if it kills me bc i desperately need to read the books but i cant afford them rn

[electric-plants]

about to make a secondary star rail account purely just to replay the beginning because i cannot for the life of me remember the start of this game

[spittingstar]

ngosk

[amuseoffyre]

One of my favourite things about Leverage (I'm onto S3 of the rewatch) is the number of times Eliot, Parker and Hardison say some variant of "like I taught you".

Eliot teaching Parker combat skills, Hardison teaching Eliot tech skills, Parker teaching Hardison lockpicking skills. All three of them building each other into multiple-disciplined crime crew in a way that makes perfect sense for all of the characters.

And the way it escalates in Redemption as well, when Parker has designated Vent Practise for the boys and Hardison gets grumpy about being compared to Eliot for his lack of vent skills 🤣

From S1, there's always been that "what would [character] do?" and they used it to full effect in the S1 finale with Nate and Sophie using the skills of the others to bust them out of Sterling's clutches.

They do the same again with the S1 finale of Redemption as well, when the head of RIZ underestimates them because she doesn't count on the degree of skill shuffle they have at their fingertips.

But it doesn't stop there - it extends to the personal as well. Some of my favourite quiet little moments are

Eliot taking the time to show Parker how to appreciate food because she's never had anyone who did that for her before and lived on cereal and junk food her whole life, because it's something he loves and he wants to help her understand it.

Parker being Hardison's comfort in the buried-alive episode, when she uses her own skills and experience and familiarity with being in small enclosed spaces to talk to him and keep him calm.

Hardison and Parker dancing so she can manage to move the right way for a con - it's so quietly intimate and simple - and then him knowing she's panicking when the thing goes wrong and humming the song so she can recover the steps and pull it off.

This is the heart and soul of the show - these characters supporting and sharing the things they care about with each other. They love each other so much and know each other and trust each other, as much as they poke and roast and tease one another.

[mochasucculent]

I'm rewatching Arcane, and after my third time seeing season 1 I had a hot new reading on Viktor's scenes in episodes 6, 7, and 8.

Like a lot of other people, I felt it was weird and unsavory that Viktor - very close to death with a disease that affects his lungs - suddenly starts experimenting on his disabled leg. Those two things have nothing in common, save for the fact that the cause of both might have been the toxic fumes of the undercity, which could have resulted in Viktor being born disabled if his parents were also subject to those conditions.

So why does Viktor try to "fix" his leg when his main goal is to utilize the Hexcore to prolong and improve living conditions before he's gone?

Viktor in acts 2 and 3 is motivated to save himself long enough to make a difference in the world. Even though Hextech is revolutionary for Piltover, it hasn't reached who Viktor wanted to help this whole time, the disenfranchised in the undercity. In his mind, he hasn't done enough to change the world for the better, and he will be gone before he has the chance to do so.

After realizing the Hexcore responded to organic matter when it absorbed Viktor's blood, he experiments with plants, only to find that they wither and die soon after the Hexcore makes them grow.

This causes him to visit Singed once again for anything that could help him figure out how to use the Hexcore for magic that could save lives, one last shot at accomplishing his dreams.

Viktor parted ways with with him as a child upon seeing that Singed was willing to hurt Rio, his salamander test subject, in order to prolong her life. Viktor didn't understand that cost before, but he does now, being in the same position as Singed and Rio simultaneously, both the scientist trying to make a breakthrough and the subject he needs to save in order to do so.

Like Rio, Viktor is not his own end goal to his scientific pursuits. Singed is trying to save his daughter, Viktor is trying to help his people. He's his own means to an end, and is now willing to pay the cost of getting there.

Singed gives Viktor a variant of Shimmer to experiment with, the idea being that it will stabilize an organism while the Hexcore's magic affects it, hopefully allowing it to survive through the aggressive and sudden healing process.

Viktor injects the Shimmer into his leg, as well as carving runes into both his brace and thigh to channel the magic towards there before he offers the Hexcore his blood. It does Something to his leg which we don't see till the following episode.

The new reading I have of this scene is that the reason Viktor chose his leg specifically is not because he was trying to "fix" it, but because:

-He's not willing to put others' lives at risk and knows he's not long for this world, so the only test subject he's willing to use is himself

-He knows the organic matter he tests the Hexcore on might die

-Viktor's leg is a part of his body he's willing to lose if things go wrong and it rejects the transmutation (he also knows that he could just fully die then and there too and is willing to take that risk)

Obviously, the scenes involving Viktor's experimentation center his physical disabilities (shots of his back brace, the focus on his leg) and equate them with the disease that is literally killing him. The narrative lens shows us that Viktor "curing" himself begins with his disability, which sucks.

So while the boat scene undoubtedly is written to be "triumphant" because Viktor's leg is no longer disabled (shown by him dropping his crutch, the swelling music, the parallel to the scene where a child Viktor can't keep up with his toy boat), a different reading is that it's another experiment to him.

Viktor is stress testing the organic matter he infused with magic, and the scene is triumphant because he's realized his leg isn't deteriorating or weakening - it holds up. The mutation of the magic in his leg survived. It's a sign that maybe he can use the Hexcore on the rest of his body, keep himself alive long enough to do what he's always wanted to do: leave a legacy that changes the world for the better.

To me that's a much more in-character perspective for Viktor in these scenes than what is being said narratively through directing, framing, music, etc. Previously, Viktor had never expressed distaste for his disability as an adult, only commenting on it as a part of why he was isolated socially from Piltover. To me, him testing the Hexcore on his leg is merely an indifference to its current state, rather than a preference to have it changed. I don't even necessarily think it'd be a bad thing if Viktor did outright say "I would like to not be disabled", because I'm sure many other disabled people feel that way from time to time, but season 1 really does a poor job of pushing that framing of "curing" disability onto a character that did not express those perspectives himself at this point.

It gives off a big ol' "aw, poor Viktor, not only is he dying because of the political landscape that leaves disenfranchised people to suffer preventable diseases, but he's got a disabled leg too!" One of those things is much more problematic than the other lol.

Season 2 definitely hurtles Viktor very quickly into the Machine Herald perspective in which he thinks humans must evolve past ANY limitations of their original bodies, but to me season 1 Viktor just doesn't feel that way about himself. His primary concern has always been rooted in how to improve the lives of his people permanently, and it's only when he's actively dying that his secondary goal is to live long enough to see that happen.

It's something he drops completely after his experimentation results in Sky's death. He's immediately spiteful of the Hexcore and tries to destroy it - and himself.

Viktor now accepts that he will die before he's able to change the world the way he wanted, and hides the fact that he fucked with his body from everyone as he awaits his demise. "Fixing" his leg is not something he celebrates in and of itself, it's now only a reminder that the pursuit of his dream resulted in someone else's death.

The narrative does well in season 2 to frame Viktor's Glorious Evolution as a Bad Thing at least, and Jayce's speech at the end about Viktor never being broken is extremely valuable and important, but it's just weird to see him say this:

Cause to me now, that ain't what Viktor was trying to do at all! The writers may have retconned that to be the case, which is fine, whatever, but season 1 in isolation does not support that idea to me after this rewatch.

Overall, I think Arcane can have confusing directing sometimes that focuses on evoking feelings and themes rather than the richness of its characters, their dynamics, and the world they inhabit - to the detriment of all the above. In season 2, this resulted in a lot of scenes that felt emotionally unearned or muddy to me, like pretty much everything with Jinx, Vi, and Vander together rip.

It's for this same reason that I think it took me so long to really come to this reading of Viktor's season 1 scenes, because the directing bias REALLY wants to make you feel sorrow and hope alongside Viktor, even though it means he'll seem to randomly start equating his disabled leg to his illness. It just felt like a weird disparity to me until I watched these episodes again and was like "wait" lol.

Anyway peace and love on planet Earth I cannot stop thinking about Viktor Arcane

[hellsitegenetics]

genome THIS (pleag. it would make me happy):

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgen leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with jurgen leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a book make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgenLeitner

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his library and I lost it

where the fuck is jurgen leitner if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books

String identified:

T T TCG G T G A CCTG T ATG AT ATA TA T AATA T GGT C T CC AG T T C TCG G T

T G TA AT G T AT C A A C C T C A A T T T T A A ATA A A C A CA ACT T T T A AC A A T TTT A GT AA

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Closest match: Calendula officinalis genome assembly, chromosome: 11 Common name: Marigold