#i think the answer is i have to rewatch all the candidates but the problem is all those films make me so emotional it wipes me out for days

[wormsdyke]

3am pacing around the room in a heated debate with myself over which movie should fill the 4th slot on my letterboxd profile

[yourdarkcherry]

Seducing Rafe Cameron || Ch.4

Summary: You were blessed with an easy life since you were born, but it’s all threatened when your dad’s business fails and you find yourself with no prospects and no education and so your only solution is to marry rich. Who’s a better candidate than the older brother of your ex-best friend from high school? So you do everything in your power to seduce Rafe Cameron, not knowing he’s the root to all your problems.

Warnings: toxic relationship, spoiled reader, sexist elements, dark content, blackcoded reader, pregnancy, physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, death threats, eventual smut.

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The environment when you have learned of Sarah’s betrayal wasn’t ideal, but then again you don’t think you finding out in any way could’ve been ideal.

You invited yourself to Tannyhill for an impromptu sleepover, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary because you and Sarah always did that. But what was strange was the reason that made you even think you had to do this. Sarah was becoming distant, and you can tell that there was something going on with her and she wasn’t telling you.

It was very strange, as you and Sarah told each other everything.

You and her were lounging in the massive L shaped couch in the living room, you curling to yourself next to her and her sprawled on the longer part of it while you two were mindlessly rewatching Clueless. It was an all time favorite of you both.

The house was relatively empty for the weekend, Ward and Rose away on an anniversary vacation, Wheezie also at a sleepover. You hadn’t seen Rafe since you came over carrying your luggage last night.

It was at the scene that Cher asked Dionne her iconic question, “would you call me selfish?” that Rafe stepped inside the house. You didn’t even notice him as you were giggling and quoting Dionne’s answer back. “No, not to your face.”

Sarah only gave you back a tight smile, her eyes clouding over with something like they always do lately.

You notice Rafe then, with visible scars on his face and looking like he was just involved in a fight. The sight made you sit up straight. Sarah still didn’t notice, and you usually would follow her cue in ignoring Rafe.

But you couldn’t. “Oh my god, are you okay?” you asked, squinting as you stared at his face for longer. Possibly the longest time you’ve ever stared at his face. Sarah’s eyes follow where you’re staring, but she’s not that much shocked.

“It’s not a big deal,” Rafe says. “It’s only Sarah’s stupid boyfriend thinking he can land a punch.”

You frown, then you glance at Sarah and see that her face blanched. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, Colin Davis.” Rafe answers, and he looks at you as if you had grown three heads—like you were stupid for not knowing that your best friend of ten years had a boyfriend.

Your eyes darted to Sarah, searching her face for any sign of an explanation. Her expression had gone pale, confirming that what Rafe said was true.

You stood up from the couch, with clear anger on your face. “Are you shitting me, Rafe?”

Rafe raises an eyebrow, “do I look like someone who would be lying to you?” With that, you turn to stare back at Sarah in horror. Her eyes are red and wet with tears as she slowly stands up from the couch too.

“Why are you making a big deal about this?” Rafe says exasperatedly, “I don’t even know if he’s Sarah’s boyfriend, all I know is that I see him climb out of her window all the time.”

You gasp in disbelief and blink hastily at him, hoping that this is some sort of elaborate cruel joke. That Sarah’s only doing this just to tell you that she’s right in her suspicions about your new boyfriend. If you doubt him enough to cheat, then you know he isn’t good enough for you.

Though you find yourself not caring about him, you don’t even think you liked him that much to begin with. He was just in the football team, and you were a cheerleader and when he asked you out you thought that it would look cute. Cliche, but cute. A cheerleader and an athlete.

“Colin Davis?” you repeat, your eyes darting between Rafe and Sarah. “You fucked Colin Davis? My boyfriend?”

Rafe’s jaw slightly turns slack, and he too turns to look at Sarah for clarification. Sarah’s tears start slipping down her cheeks, and her chest raises and falls sharply while she sniffles.

“(Y/N) I didn’t mean to—”

“You’re telling me you fucked Colin? My fucking boyfriend?” your finger is pointed at your chest as your own eyes start watering the longer you stare at her.

This has to be a nightmare if it wasn’t a joke. But the feel of your hot tears in your eyes is so real, as well as the biting cold of the North Carolina’s autumn bites on your naked thighs.

“I’m sorry— I didn’t—” a gasp cuts her, and you feel the pain of the betrayal wash over you harshly like a tsunami, each revelation feeling like a punch to the gut.

Tears began to spill down your cheeks, hot and unrelenting. The familiar comfort of the couch and the security of your longtime friendship now felt like a distant memory, replaced by a painful and overwhelming sense of heartbreak.

You raise your palm to stop her from talking, “you’re not denying Rafe’s words—that it wasn’t a one time thing.”

Sarah’s tears were thick as they streamed down her face, her chest heaving with ragged breaths as she struggled to find the words to explain herself. But you didn’t want to hear it, the damage was done, and the trust you once shared was irrevocably broken.

“How could you do this to me?” you repeated, your fingers trembling as you wiped at the tears streaming down your cheeks. “You were my best friend. I trusted you more than anyone.”

The memory of all the years you two had spent as inseparable souls, confiding in each other, supporting one another through thick and thin, now felt like a cruel joke. How could she have betrayed that trust, that bond, in such a devastating way?

“I actually don’t care about what you did, I care that you hold me in such a low regard that you went ahead and threw away our friendship like it was nothing.” Your voice is breaking with each word you say, and your chest is tightening, “If you don’t care about our friendship—fine!” you say, searching the couch for your phone and when you find it you clutch on it harshly.

“If you don’t care about our friendship then fucking fine, cause I don’t fucking care about you anymore.” you say one last time, and instead of wearing your outside shoes you dig in your feet inside the soft house slippers that you always wear when you’re at Tannyhill. You brush past Rafe and head to the door as you see Sarah collapse to the floor from the corner of your eyes.

The tears continued to flow, your heart shattering with each passing second. This was a betrayal you didn't know if you could ever forgive.

The air outside bites on your thighs and naked arms, but the chill was nothing compared to the icy grip of betrayal that had seized your heart. In that moment, you felt utterly alone, your world turned upside down by the devastating actions of the one person you thought you could always count on.

As you stormed away, the sound of Rafe's hurried footsteps reached your ears. "Please, (Y/N), wait!" he called out, his voice tinged with desperation.

You whirled around, your eyes burning with a fury that threatened to consume you. "What do you want, Rafe?" you spat, the words laced with venom.

He approached you cautiously, “look, I had no idea but if I did I would’ve—”

“No, Rafe. There’s nothing you can do. Nothing you can say that will make this right. Sarah…” Your voice broke, the mere utterance of her name like a knife to your heart. “She’s the one that broke my trust, she made her bed and now she has to lie in it. And I never wanna see her again or see anything that reminds me of her, that includes you.”

He watches you with a frown, but you continue anyways, “so please, don’t make me say things I’ll regret and just... leave me alone. I need time to process this, to figure out how I’m going to move forward without that backstabber, I can’t be around anything that reminds me of her.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if trying to hold the shattered pieces of your heart together. The tears continued to stream down your face, a testament to the depth of your pain.

“I’m so angry I could—” you end your words with a sigh as you look down at your slippers. Then you look up finding Rafe opened his mouth to speak.

Though when you’re about to hear what he has to say, the familiar surroundings of the conversation melted away, and you suddenly found yourself jolting awake, the vivid dream dissipating like mist in the morning light.

Your heart pounded, the remnants of the dream still clinging to the edges of your consciousness. The betrayal, the anger, the sense of shattered trust, it all felt so real, so visceral—because it was real. It was simply your mind replaying the most horrid memory of your entire life like a movie. A haunting echo of a reality you had faced years ago.

It’s almost 10 am when you finish getting ready for the day. Your mom is in the living room, looking like she already finished her morning run, and eating a breakfast sandwich while sipping her cafe latte.

“Good morning.” you greet, she greeted back while looking up from her phone then she let out a quiet gasp.

“Honey, you look horrible!” she commented, and set down her cup on the table while looking up at you with clear concern.

“Jesus christ, mom, what a nice thing to say to your daughter.” you sigh, walking to the kitchen as she followed you with her empty plate and cup. She set the utensils in the dishwasher. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she said, then rounded to face you as you turned to switch on the burner.

“You look pale, and pretty exhausted.”

“Didn’t sleep well.” you respond, then crack an egg on the frying pan. Your mother sighed, still looking at your side profile while you concentrated on cooking.

Your mom leaned against the counter. “I heard about the car,” she said quietly, her voice laced with worry. “Rafe told me what happened.”

You kept your focus on the frying pan, feeling a mix of emotions at the mention of his name. Also feeling like telling her that you rear-ended Sarah’s boyfriend isn’t the best idea. So you just swallow that thought of telling her. “Did he also tell you that he came over? Just for a little,”

Your mom’s eyes widened while she smiled. “I had no idea! But why did he come over?” your cheeks slightly burn at the double meaning of her words, but you ignore it and answer truthfully. “I felt bad that we couldn’t have a proper date because of the accident and stuff, so when he dropped me home I told him I’ll make him a sandwich.”

She gives you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “That was considerate of you.”

While the egg is frying, you move to toast two slices of bread. Then you turn around to face your mother, “I’m having a girls’ day with Wheezie today.”

She raises an eyebrow. “How are you getting there? Do you really feel confident with Wheezie’s driving? She hasn’t even gotten her permit yet. Or are you taking an Uber?”

You shake your head, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Rafe doesn’t trust Ubers. He said he’ll drive us everywhere.”

She nods slowly, and doesn't speak for a few moments. “He’s a bit more old-fashioned than I thought for a guy his age.” The slices of toast shoot up, and you quickly take them out in a plate. “What do you mean?”

Your mother sighs, and you could tell she’s struggling to find words to deliver her point properly. “I mean, I knew he was a gentleman. I could see it in the way he treated all those ladies he took to all those parties and events. But I just… didn’t know he was old-fashioned.”

“Are you trying to say that you get bad vibes from him and that I should back off?” you ask, unwrapping a slice of american cheese and placing it on one of the toasts, you head to the gas stove and flip your egg into it and cover the egg with the other piece of toast.

You walk to the coffee machine and flick it open while you pretend like your life doesn’t depend on your mother’s next words. You trust her more than anyone, you trust her judgment and so if she tells you to abort the mission—you will.

It will hurt you, sure, because you genuinely like Rafe. The sole mention of his name brings butterflies and fuzz to your insides. But your mother knows best.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” You relaxed a bit, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “I just meant that it’s surprising, just…” she pauses and you glance over your shoulder when the machine beeps.

“Look, if he doesn’t ask you to be his girlfriend by next month—considering he is an old fashioned man, you’re gonna want to rethink things.”

Your mom’s words hang in the air as you turn to grab your coffee, trying to process what she just said. The kitchen is filled with the warm, comforting aroma of your breakfast, but the conversation has taken a turn that leaves you feeling unsettled.

Your heart skipped a beat at her words. You knew the urgency behind your actions. Your family’s financial situation was dire, and your feelings for Rafe were as strategic as they were genuine. You needed him to propose to secure your future, but you had to play it just right.

“Okay,” you said softly, trying to keep your emotions in check. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The kitchen was quiet for a moment. Finally, your mom spoke up again. “So, have you and Wheezie planned out what you’re going to do today? Any special plans or just a casual outing?”

You considered her question, a smile forming on your lips. “We’re planning to hit the mall, maybe get our nails done…some shopping, just spending time together.”

She smiles, “that sounds nice.”

When 10:30 am hits, and the sun is bright and shiny, Wheezie calls you.

“Hi Wheezie!” you answer, trying to keep your excitement in check.

“Hey!” Wheezie’s voice comes through bubbly and enthusiastic. “I’m so ready for today! I’ve been looking forward to this all week. I found a bunch of new stores I want to check out, and I heard there’s this amazing new nail salon that just opened. Are you excited?”

You chuckle at her excitement. “Totally! I’m looking forward to it too. It’s going to be a fun day.”

“Great! I’m so glad you’re up for it,” she gushes. “I can’t wait to spend some time together. I was thinking we could start with the mall, hit up a few stores, and then get our nails done. How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect,” you say, smiling as you gather your things.

“Rafe and I are gonna be over at your house in like…” you hear her voice faint as she sets her phone slightly away, to ask someone a question. “Five minutes!” she answers, and you hear the sound of a door shutting behind her.

“See you in five,” you say and she hums before ending the call.

Despite it being less than five minutes in the clock on your phone, it still feels like the time was stretching forever. You hear the distinct noise of Rafe’s truck rolling down your street, you instantly wear your sunglasses and slip out the door.

As you walk toward the curb, you catch sight of Rafe in the driver’s seat, his eyes meeting yours through the window. Your cheeks flush with a warm blush, and you quickly look away, trying to shake off the sudden rush of nerves.

Wheezie’s figure appears as she rounds the front of the truck. You meet her halfway, and she practically launches herself into a hug, which you return with a big grin. She’s practically bouncing with excitement in her cute summer outfit, and you can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.

“Wheezie, oh lord, you look super cute!” you exclaim, holding her hand and twirling her around as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Says you!” she laughs, her cheeks flushed with happiness.

Wheezie then pulls you to the back seats of Rafe’s truck, and you softly greet him when your eyes meet before she pushes you inside the car. “Hi, Rafe.”

“Hey, sunglasses.” he comments, and your cheeks burn even harsher as you take them off when you enter his car.

Rafe starts the truck and pulls out of the neighborhood. As he drives, Wheezie continues to buzz with excitement, her voice filled with enthusiasm. “I’ve been checking out all these new stores, and I heard there’s a great sale at one of them. Plus, I have been looking all over pinterest for nails inspo and I found this.”

She takes out her phone and displays some pictures to you as you lean back in the seat, letting Wheezie’s excitement wash over you. The drive to the mall feels relaxed, with Rafe navigating through the traffic. You catch occasional glances of him in the rearview mirror, his eyes meeting yours with a hint of a smile that makes your cheeks warm again.

Wheezie’s chatter is contagious, and you find yourself joining in naturally. But when the conversation starts to wane a bit, Wheezie turns to Rafe with a curious expression.

“You know, I could’ve driven us to the mall,” Wheezie says playfully. “So, what are you going to do while we shop?”

Rafe chuckles, glancing at Wheezie through the rearview mirror. “I thought that as the driver I naturally get a pass to join in?��

Wheezie gives him a skeptical look. “Really? You think you can just tag along? We’re going to be all over the place.”

Rafe raises his eyebrows. “Come on, it could be fun. I’ll even help you pick out stuff.”

Wheezie starts to protest but then hesitates. “But you’ll probably get bored. We’re going to be in and out of so many stores.”

Wheezie mulls it over for a second, then relents with a slight grin. “Alright, fine. You can come. But you’re going to help us carry our shopping bags.”

“Deal.”

As Rafe parks the truck and you both climb out, you feel a wave of excitement wash over you. Wheezie heads towards the mall entrance with boundless energy, and you follow, glancing back at Rafe with a grateful smile.

“Thanks again, Rafe,” you say as you head inside. “We’ll be sure to make it worth your while.”

“No problem, and it already is worth it,” he says, leaning in slightly. As he does, he lowers his voice just enough so only you can hear. “I’m actually doing this to secretly spend some time with you.”

Your cheeks flush, and you look down, trying to hide your shy smile. “Oh, I see…well, I’m glad you’re here then.”

Rafe’s grin widens. “Glad to hear it.”

With that, you and Wheezie head into the mall, Rafe following close behind. You follow all of Wheezie’s whims, of entering any store she wants and giving her opinions on whatever she wants.

“How do I look?” Wheezie asked, her excitement bubbling over.

She was wearing a dress that fell gracefully around her, the vibrant colors and soft fabric making her look effortlessly stylish. She struck a few poses, clearly happy with the dress.

You took in the sight, your smile widening. “Wheezie, you look amazing. That dress is perfect for you!”

Wheezie beamed, looking at herself in the mirror with satisfaction. “Really? I wasn’t sure if it was too much, but I love it.”

Just then, Rafe wandered over from where he’d been browsing nearby. “You should get it.” Wheezie rolls her eyes at his hastiness in making a decision. “This isn’t how you shop, you’re too hasty, see this is exactly why I didn’t want you tagging with us.”

You giggle then comment, “I love it too, I think cool toned colors look great on you.” Wheezie then points at you, “see? This is how you shop, you analyze everything then make a decision.”

Rafe smirked and shrugged. “Fair enough. I guess I’ll leave the final decision to you two experts.”

Wheezie gave a satisfied nod and headed back to the fitting room to change out of the dress. Rafe turned to you with a curious look. “Didn’t you find anything you like yet?”

You glanced at him with surprise, then crossed your arms over your chest. You mulled over your answer for a moment. You couldn’t exactly tell him you were being cautious with your spending due to your family’s financial situation. With your dad’s bankruptcy looming over you, every penny counted. Sure, his savings can only hold you off for a few months, but you still need to be careful about how you spend it. In case this mission didn’t work out, not with Rafe or anyone or your family’s bankruptcy was found out—you’d need to flee to The Cut. You would need to have some money saved up to buy a small house that fits your family.

“Not yet,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “I haven’t found anything that really grabs my attention.”

Rafe raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. “Aren’t you shopping for Midsummer? Seems like a perfect time to find something new.”

You shrugged slightly, attempting to keep your tone casual. “I actually already have a dress at home. I got it a few weeks ago, and it’s all altered and ready to go. So no need to buy anything else right now.”

Rafe’s expression softened, and he nodded. “Got it. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t missing out on anything.”

You appreciated his concern, even though you couldn’t share the full extent of your situation with him. “Thanks for checking. I guess I’m just being a bit picky today.”

Wheezie emerged from the fitting room, now dressed in her regular clothes. She looked at both of you with a satisfied smile. “All set. Ready to hit the next store?”

As you all moved towards the next store, you couldn’t shake the feeling of Rafe’s gaze lingering on you, and you wondered if he sensed there was more to your story than you were letting on.

When almost two hours passed, Wheezie bought a lot of things, making Rafe’s hands all busy with holding her shopping bags. She’s satisfied with her purchases, but not with any of yours—considering you didn’t buy a single thing, only a pink off shoulder blouse that Rafe paid for.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t buy anything, this was a shopping spree!” she whines, walking inside the nail salon inside the mall. You giggle and argue, “no it wasn’t, it’s a girls day. It’s not about the activity as much as it’s about the company.”

She stares at you, and tries her best to fight her widening smile that’s showing on her face. “Well, you’re so goddamn picky.”

“That, I am.” you add, then you both head to the counter and tell the girl at the counter your designs.

When you’re done showing your designs, the girl takes you to the manicure and pedicure station, from the corner of your eye you see Rafe sitting by the waiting chairs.

The nail salon wasn’t crowded, it only had you and Wheezie and two other girls.

Wheezie settled into her chair, still shaking her head in disbelief. “Seriously, just one blouse? You’re way too picky.”

You chuckled as you sat down next to her, giving a small shrug, “I know what I want, that’s all. And hey, I did get something.”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, because Rafe practically forced you to buy it.”

You glanced over at Rafe, who was now seated in the waiting area, surrounded by shopping bags. He caught your eye and gave a small charming smile. Your cheeks warmed slightly, remembering how he’d insisted on paying for the blouse despite your protests.

He’s generous, perhaps it might’ve been all show for you—but you want to believe otherwise, and that he’s your perfect match.

“Yeah, well, it’s a nice blouse,” you said, trying to steer the conversation back.

Wheezie grinned, finally letting the subject drop as she relaxed into her seat. “Fine, fine. But next time I’m the one that’s choosing for you.”

You laughed softly. “Deal.”

As the nail technicians began their work, Wheezie kept the conversation going, talking about school, friends, and the latest gossip. You chimed in here and there, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Rafe. You could feel his presence, even from across the room, and it was both comforting and nerve-wracking.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance in Rafe’s direction. He was scrolling through his phone, looking perfectly content to wait for you both. It was a small thing, but the fact that he was willing to hang around all day just to spend time with his sister—and with you by extension—made your heart flutter.

Wheezie noticed your distraction and leaned over slightly. “He’s been staring at you, you know,” she whispered, a teasing glint in her eye.

You shot her a look. “Stop it, he’s just here for you.”

She shook her head, a knowing smile on her lips. “You keep telling yourself that.”

You tried to focus on your manicure, but Wheezie’s words echoed in your mind. Part of you wondered if she was right—if maybe, just maybe, there was more to Rafe’s presence today than just being a good big brother.

As the nail technicians finished up, Wheezie admired her newly polished nails with a satisfied grin. “Perfect! I love them.”

You glanced at your own nails, the design simple but elegant. “They did a great job,” you agreed.

Wheezie nodded, then turned her attention back to you. “Alright, what’s next on the agenda? Lunch? More shopping?”

Before you could answer, Rafe stood up, making his way over to the two of you. “How’d it go?” he asked, his eyes lingering on you for just a moment longer than necessary.

“Great!” Wheezie chirped. “Look at these!” She showed off her nails, and Rafe gave an approving nod.

“Nice,” he said, then turned to you. “And you?”

You showed him your nails, he took your fingertips into his hands to observe your nails better and you try not to think too much about his intense gaze. “I’m happy with them.” you answer.

“Good,” he said, his voice softening slightly. “Glad to see you enjoyed yourself.” he lets go of your hand and you stretch your fingers and ball them into a fist as you feel your face heating.

“I vote for lunch, by the way.” Rafe tells Wheezie.

“Cute that you think you have a say in this. (Y/N)?” she asks. You eye her sadly. “I’m pretty hungry myself, so my vote’s on lunch too.”

Wheezie giggles, “I’m starving too, but I just felt like being mean to Rafe considering he’s imposing on our girls day.”

“Hey, don’t I at least make a useful bag carrier?” he argues.

When you arrived at the restaurant, the atmosphere was lively, with a soft buzz of conversation and the clinking of glasses. The waiter was polished and charming, with a warm smile that he directed at you just a little longer than necessary.

As you settle into the table, the waiter beams with an easy smile, his eyes subtly drifting to you as he places the menus on the table. “I recommend the special today,” he says, his voice smooth and confident. “But for someone with a keen sense of style, you might enjoy something a bit more refined.”

You smile back, appreciating his attentiveness but not fully engaging. “What would you suggest?”

He leans in slightly, as if sharing a secret. “For someone like you? The seared scallops with a citrus glaze. It’s light, elegant, and has just the right amount of zest.”

Rafe’s gaze sharpens slightly, though he stays quiet, watching the exchange with a faintly furrowed brow.

Before you can respond, Wheezie chimes in, completely unaware of the tension. “That does sound good! But what about the pasta? Is it actually as heavenly as they claim?”

The waiter straightens up, turning to Wheezie with a friendly nod. “The pasta is excellent, especially the carbonara. But if you’re in the mood for something with a bit of flair, I’d still recommend the scallops. Perfect for a special occasion.”

He glances back at you as he says the last part, his eyes lingering just a fraction too long. Rafe shifts in his seat, and you can practically feel the silent claim he’s staking.

“Well, I think I’ll try the carbonara,” Wheezie decides, her voice cheerful. “But I don’t know what my brother would do without you helping us out, right?” She gives a playful look to Rafe, who manages a tight smile.

“I’ll have the steak,” Rafe says, his tone clipped. Then he looks at you, his gaze softening slightly. “And for you?”

“I think I’ll go with the scallops,” you reply, handing the menu back to the waiter.

“Excellent choice,” the waiter says, his smile widening. “I’ll get that started for you.”

As he walks away, Rafe comments with a clipped tone, “seems like he’s taken a liking to you.”

Wheezie, oblivious to the undercurrent in his tone, pipes up, “I think he was just being nice! I mean, you’re really good at picking things that stand out. Maybe that’s what he meant.”

You chuckle, but Rafe’s expression stays serious. “Maybe. Or maybe he just doesn’t know when to back off.”

The rest of the meal continues with the waiter’s attentiveness, each time subtly directed more at you. He refills your drink before it’s empty, brings extra napkins without being asked, and even stops by to make sure your meal is perfect.

“You’ve really got this place figured out,” Wheezie teases, noticing the extra attention. “I bet he’s just hoping for a good tip.”

You laugh, trying to keep things light, “or maybe he’s just really good at his job.”

After the meal, when you’ve finished and the waiter brings the check, he gives you a smile. “I hope you enjoyed everything. If you ever need any more recommendations, I’m always here.”

“Thanks,” you say, keeping your tone polite but neutral.

As Rafe paid the bill, he was noticeably quicker to usher everyone out. He opened the door for you, his hand lingering on your back a moment longer than usual, as if silently reminding you of his presence.

The sky is lilac by the time you all exit the mall and head towards Rafe’s car. He’s silent, but Wheezie’s chatter fills the air enough that you almost don’t notice it.

Wheezie's voice bubbles with excitement. “Today was so much fun! We should do this more often. But seriously, you didn’t buy enough stuff. Next time, I’m forcing you to splurge.”

You chuckle, glancing at her as she hops into the back seat. “We’ll see about that. Maybe next time I’ll be the one carrying all the bags.”

Wheezie grins, buckling her seatbelt. “You better be! Oh, and did you see the way that waiter was all over you? Like, he was so obvious.”

Your cheeks warm slightly at her teasing, and you avoid Rafe’s eyes as you settle into the passenger seat. “He was just being nice. I’m sure he’s like that with everyone.”

“Yeah, right,” Wheezie scoffs, leaning forward between the seats. “I bet he’s never looked at anyone like that before. If Rafe hadn’t been there, he probably would’ve asked for your number.”

Rafe glances at Wheezie through the rearview mirror, his jaw tight. “Good thing I was there then, huh?”

Wheezie raises an eyebrow, picking up on the tension but choosing to keep things light. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But seriously, (Y/N), you could’ve at least flirted back a little. You know, just for fun.”

You laugh softly, trying to defuse the situation. “Trust me, Wheezie, I’m not that good at flirting. Plus, I was more focused on our girls’ day.”

“Yeah, right,” Wheezie scoffs. “Says Miss Popular, who had like…a ton of boyfriends in high school!”

“Oh stop it, High school was literally a lifetime ago and I’m so over it.” you protest, leaning close to playfully slap Wheezie’s arm to stop her from further teasing you.

As the car continues down the quiet street, you enjoy the relaxed conversation and the soothing background of Wheezie’s light-hearted commentary. The evening air is cool, and the glow of streetlights casts a warm hue inside the car.

When you pull up to Tannyhill, you help Wheezie take her bags inside to her room. Then she hugs you good bye and says in your ear, “I had such a great time today, next time it will be just us.”

You hum in agreement while rubbing circles in her back, “next time you’re invited to my house for a movie night.”

She breaks the hug with a gasp, “am I?!”

“Of course you are!” you answer, and she giggles in happiness.

You hug each other good-bye one last time and you run down the stairs to walk back to your home.

You’re not surprised to see Rafe waiting for you downstairs, but your heart leaps ten times by the time you approach him. You descend the stairs of the door threshold, he’s leaning casually against his truck. His eyes meet yours as you reach the bottom, and he pushes off the vehicle with a warm smile.

“Hey,” he greets, his voice gentle.

“Hey,” you reply, feeling a rush of excitement. “Thanks again for today. It really meant a lot.”

Rafe steps closer, his gaze softening as he looks at you. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I did too.”

The air between you is charged with a quiet intensity. Rafe takes a deep breath, as if gathering his thoughts. “I’ve been thinking a lot about today and how much I enjoyed spending time with you.”

You meet his eyes, your heart pounding. “Me too. It was a lot of fun.”

Rafe’s smile grows, but there’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “I know we’ve only just started spending time together, but I really like where this is going. I’d like us to be more than just friends.”

You feel a flutter of anticipation. “What do you have in mind?”

Rafe’s eyes are earnest as he takes a step closer. “I want us to be together. To make it official. I think we have something special, and I’d like to see where it can go.”

It’s as if the whole world stopped rotating when your brain processes his words. It’s what you’ve been striving for. Your heart pounds even faster than you’ve ever felt in your life before, you blink in surprise as you watch him.

“I…I want that too, I’d like it a lot.”

Rafe’s expression brightens, and he reaches out to take your hand. “Great. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

The cool evening air feels more inviting than ever, and with Rafe by your side, the future suddenly seems full of endless potential. Though even with all of that, for some reason, it feels slightly strange that he asked you to be his girlfriend when you two didn’t even have your first date yet.

You’re scared of what your mother will say about this, about him asking you this question. So, you decide that the best answer for now is not to tell her that you are now Rafe’s girlfriend when he didn’t even take you out on a first date yet.

[the-path-to-redemption]

Hello, redeemed Adam AUs anon here! Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Despite close friends telling me to watch FMA for years, I've never gotten around it so I didn't know about Scar. However it's obvious the writing is far superior, and I've watched Arslan Senki from the same author so I know we can trust her with antagonists.

You mentioned the authors having to acknowledge that the system is flawed in the first place, to which I nod eagerly! Except, the authors already acknowledged this!!!

In V4 E6, at the charity party, there's a businessman that's always forgotten, who mentions the real problem is society as a whole. Even worse, that the faunus were PROMISED JOBS by the SDC! So they were cruelly tricked! By the dialogue, Jacques says mining staff from Atlas and Mantle are paid the same, but the businessman points out that there's a significant economic disparity between the two. Obviously it was a good scene to portray and acknowledge the actual issue and how people of power in Atlas didn't care anyway. Good scene.

Except it was never brought up again!!!

I swear, every time you think CRWBY can't get worse, they prove you wrong. So you acknowledge society is at fault, Adam and Ilia's families were tricked into getting a job, and the SDC is very aware of the issue (including Weiss WHO WAS PRESENT), yet ADAM is at fault? Huh? Wha? HUH?!

I know V4 and V5 are known to be some of the worst volumes (dethroned by V8 and V9), but they had so much lore hidden in details that went forgotten two seconds later, they sometimes feel like a fever dream.

Thank you again for reading my ask and answering it! I read the response many times!

Long Post Ahead

You're welcome, anon! To be honest, having such a nice ask after so long was a refreshing surprise for me lol. I'm glad that my answer was satisfactory, and you really should get into FMA! (Based for reading Arslan Senki tho-).

I'm really impressed that you remembered that segment of V4, so I went back to rewatch it myself (in Japanese dub, I can only take Nora and Ruby's Eng voice for so long), and yeah! They DID acknowledged it! Which is why not having Weiss confronting the malpractice of her family's company in V7-8 was so frustrating! Not SHOWING MORE of the wealth disparity of Atlas and Mantle was so bad! We were stuck in a nothing arc where the only person making sense, Ironwood, was bastardized even though in the same episode in V4, he stood up for Weiss!

Ironwood understood that the system of Atlas was extremely flawed, and he ran himself ragged to make sure it gets reformed against an entire council who doesn't care! The guy who actually gave a fuck was made into a villain because the writers are incompetent, the child slave who was branded and disabled was killed off with NO ONE knowing about his abuse or even acknowledged after his death, and the two main characters (Weiss and Blake) fucks around in Atlas with people they do not like instead of at least going to a political rally to support a council candidate who wanted to do better for both human and Faunus!

Hell, Blake and Weiss never brought up the abuse that Faunus goes through in the SDC itself after V7C3, where all Weiss does was give Blake a luke warm apology about her family's sin. Hello?? DO SOMETHING THEN! ARRESTING YOUR SHITTY DAD WILL NOT CHANGE THE WAY FAUNUS WORKERS ARE TREATED, ALL YOU DID WAS CREATE A POWER VACUUM FOR PEOPLE WHO BACKED HIM UP TO TAKE CHARGE AND CONTINUE THE ABUSE!

The show can acknowledged the imbalance all it wants, if it doesn't take the fucking charge of challenging the system it's calling out with its characters, it means nothing. Adam and the Amitolas weren't the only ones tricked to work so that they can survive in a kingdom that hated them for existing, but our protagonists do nothing to prevent more like them from being exploited.

I also stated that the authors have to acknowledge this systematic abuse applies to fan creators. You can criticize Adam for his actions against innocents all you like, but the moral of the story is that he is still a victim and shouldn't be made into the scapegoat of anti-Faunus violence. Adam wasn't wrong to be angry or hateful, stop demonizing him for being rightfully bitter about being abused! Stop with the Perfect Victim shit, please!

V4-5 were bad because they had potential but the writers elected to be boring with them instead, at least those two had a point. V7-9 meant nothing, and that's why they're the worst of the show yet.

Thank you for your asks, anon!

[sepublic]

Why Belos being Philip matters

Having discussed the logistics behind Belos being Philip, I’ve seen people argue that on a meta level, it’s ‘too predictable’...

And to be honest, I’d rather have a predictable twist that is nevertheless well-foreshadowed, with good build up, that rewards the audience for engaging with the material beyond a surface-level skim, and makes a lot of sense! A twist that while obvious, ultimately pays off what we’ve seen before, instead of some out-of-left-field shocker done solely to subvert expectations and rip the carpet out from beneath the viewers, just as a gottem moment by the writers.

Especially in this day and age, where a lot of mainstream media really seems to think that doing the most unexpected, and often dissatisfying thing, is somehow clever writing… A predictable twist that is relevant to both the audience AND characters is better.

Not only that, but Belos being Philip works, on an emotional level! He’s someone that would actually matter to us, the audience, VS a separate clone that is kind of thrown in at the last second. It’s not like there’s no precedent in the show, I saw people dismiss Lilith as the culprit for who cursed Eda, myself included… Citing that it’s ‘too obvious’;

But you know what? The show did that, and it made it work. It made this twist resonant to us AND the characters, it actually mattered to the cast- VS some enigmatic, rando stranger of which there’s a disconnect, who’s only really introduced at the last second to establish them before the reveal, sometimes WITH the reveal!

That was always one of my concerns with my previous speculation on who cursed Eda- Amidst some of the more outlandish theories, like the culprit being a relative of the Blight family, or something like that… The problem was, why did it matter? Why would this matter to Eda and the audience, if it’s barely someone either of us know? But the culprit being Lilith matters, we KNOW Lilith, so she feels relevant and important;

The twist works even after it’s revealed, because then we get the rewatch value of appreciating Eda and Lilith’s interactions in a new light, in seeing how Lilith struggled. The twist was actually something that hurt Eda and Lilith, something that contributed to their emotional arcs and growth, with their need for reconciliation; Eventually extending to Gwen and HER arc of realizing how she hurt her kids, first Lilith, and then Eda because of how she treated the curse, which was cast because Lilith was trying to counteract Gwen’s neglect!

The curser being some random, distant stranger wouldn’t really matter to Eda- They’d just be another enemy to take down. But Lilith, Lilith feels intimate, there’s a point to it being Lilith, VS someone Eda barely knows and would’ve considered. And that’s why I think Philip is the best candidate to be Belos;

We know Philip- He’s someone we’ve been building up to! He matters to us, he matters to Luz and the characters, in-universe! He’s a direct parallel to her, and a character that’s properly foreshadowed and built up towards; Just as Vee was, because her identity as a basilisk was something we’d seen before Enchanting Grom Fright!

And of course, Vee’s reveal also answers a question regarding The First Day, while also connecting to the idea of Hunter having been cloned from the deceased… The reveal of Creepy Luz wasn’t to introduce an all-new lore revelation/element that the audience couldn’t have anticipated, it built off of something we DID know and paid off! Everything about Vee feels less like a stranger for it, even if she technically is;

It matters more to us, VS a Portal-made Doppelganger that, while speculated, arguably would’ve felt out of left-field, and introduced as part of the twist. Not to mention, Vee being a resident of the Demon Realm who escaped to the human realm, in almost the exact same circumstances as Luz, adds some nice parallels that circle around to Luz’s character and development.

We’ve gotten to know more about Philip and his personality- We saw how he was personally affected by the loss of his friends, when just a dangerous encounter with Fool’s Blood would’ve been sufficient in making Luz warn the others. Dude even has some stubble by that entry, which is often used as a visual indicator that someone is losing it… And Yesterday’s Lie further connects Philip to Luz’s hometown of Gravesfield, making him even more relevant to her background as a fellow human!

Others have discussed that if Belos is Philip, this is a good way to explore his character, past, and motives, without presenting it all at once, up-front, as “This is Belos and you’re going to find out ASAP”. It keeps this information from Belos being revealed too early (though arguably it is under the expectation that Philip is Belos, but regardless), spreading it out while simultaneously dumping it all at once, when we finally make that connection, the missing link!

Belos being Philip feels like a genuine pay-off, the same way that Lilith being the one who cursed Eda is, it feels all the more painfully intimate and familiar for it, as someone we actually knew and could’ve suspected- And just as the first season built up to and revealed Lilith, the second season might do the same between Philip and Belos. The question is now “Who was Belos”, just as we learn more about Philip… Just as before, we asked “Who cursed Eda” as we got to know Lilith and what she meant to Eda, and thus how this kind of reveal would mean to her, too.

The twist built off of a pre-existing character and added to her… The twist recontextualizes the past and affects the future- Like in Gravity Falls, Stan having a twin, and their dynamic paralleling Dipper and Mabel’s, suggests a tragic destiny for the kids! This motivates Mabel to prevent this, making her vulnerable to manipulation by Bill. It makes these characters think and reflect and consider themselves from now on, and not just before, so the reveal still continues to matter that way too.

And besides, there aren’t really a lot of candidates to be Belos, are there? There’s his brother, but the statues and journal entry, as well as Belos referring to Hunter as his nephew, indicate that Philip is the one with the ponytail, while his brother was the one with the hooked nose- And since Hunter is clearly cloned from someone, it’s that brother. If Belos is his uncle and NOT the ortet, then it can only be Philip…

Again, this contributes to how Belos addresses Hunter, adding more emotional layers and relevance to their relationship with each other, how Belos feels about his nephew- And how Hunter would feel about his uncle! It adds more context, just as Lilith cursing Eda did… And it enriches both Philip and Belos’ characters, now that we know the end of one, and the beginning of the other.

Another clone with his own consciousness, the witch who met the Wittebane brothers, the obscure third statue… While also still cool, there’s not really that same level of background to them being Belos. It’d arguably feel disconnected from most of what we’ve seen before, but Philip being Belos would REALLY change several scenes, and of course hearken again to Luz- As a parallel and foil to her. From a plot standpoint, it’d be a potential way for Belos to try and manipulate Luz or at least speak to her, maybe even vice-versa, and this reveal would matter to the other characters who know of Philip. Nobody in-universe knows and/or suspects the idea of the witch, another clone, and especially not that statue…

At least, I think Philip feels MORE relevant as a reveal for Belos, than others suggested. I mean, it’s not like this is something the show, in-universe, has characters guessing and suggesting- At which point I’d be fairly certain it’s NOT Philip! But we don’t see anybody guessing that Belos is actually Philip Wittebane, so it doesn’t serve any purpose to shock the protagonists, when they weren’t guessing it at all to begin with.

Nor do they care about Belos’ identity and origins, just beating him- But knowing he’s Philip, who IS important to them, and has that shared humanity with Luz… THAT would definitely make them care. Knowing he’s Philip would make Belos’ identity relevant, and that mystery that came with it, meaningful to the characters; He’s someone they’ve paid close attention to, and if Philip did know King’s father, that’d just make it even MORE painful to another character, King!

Belos being Philip would feel like a betrayal on the latter’s part, to the characters and audience- Just as Lilith cursing Eda did, VS some complete stranger without any meaningful connection to neither the audience nor the characters. And I guess that betrayal would work, if Philip had intentionally made a clone to carry on his work… But in an Occam’s Razor way, it’s arguably more efficient and straight-forward to just have it BE Philip himself, and not some convoluted proxy. It just feels like the most satisfying option!

Sometimes the simplest solution is the best one- And obviously, Belos could still be revealed to be another character, and THEN have his backstory and motives elaborated upon, with Philip as someone for the audience and characters to connect to him through. That could also work. But all in all, I really don’t think the obviousness of Belos being Philip is really a bad thing that the writers should deter from as a result, VS having had a different idea since the beginning.

I think it’d be a meaningful and satisfying twist, answering questions about two characters while raising natural ones as a result. And it’d raise a question for Luz about what kind of witch SHE wants to be, what her future will be like- Which is a question that’s actually been raised, discussed, and built up towards. Philip was the same deal, a human who visited the demon realm and preferred it, only to end up like that- What will Luz do, then? And should she differentiate, can she? Maybe merging the worlds would solve her obligations to both, after all…

I dunno, these are just my thoughts and opinions on it. And this could all be wrong, I could be wrong in general about multiple things, not just a prediction of the plot- We’ll just have to wait and see what the writers have in store for us, either way I’m looking forward to it!

[esther-dot]

I always find it weird that d&d sprinkle the jonsa clues in last 3 seasons only to left it out. Jonsa had equal weightage with dark Dany to the narrative and I don't believe that they didn't make it happen to appease people. Jonsa also answer the stark succession. Even critics didn't have problems with this. If books and show ending are same then how jonsa will happen? Did we misinterpreted the clues in books? Why would D&d left the Jonsa? Its not like fans going to stop watching if it happens.

It is weird! Just so you know, the majority of the Jonsas I follow don’t accept the show ending, and tend to believe that D&D cut Jonsa in favor of Jxnerys so that they could hide Dark Dany + offer fan service as everyone was expecting The Hero™ and The Heroine™ to get together. I think that’s possible. Their dialogue in the cave was lifted from someone else’s chapters (link) which isn’t conclusive that D&D made it up, but it does fit their pattern of taking what belongs to one character and placing it over another, as if that doesn’t have big ramifications (they did this by giving Sansa Jeyne’s plot). I even pointed out (jokingly) that it was Sam and Gilly who had sex on a boat, so really, boatbang was stolen from them, and it’s Aemon who believes Dany is their only hope in the books so maybe that was where they got s7-8 Jon (link). 

I don’t think they left Jonsa out for fear people would stop watching if it became explicit, but the Jxnerys romance was used to hide Dark Dany, and that was something they were dedicated to. They wanted Dany burning KL to be a shocking moment, damn everything else, and that was a big problem with s7-8. A lot of critics and fans say that the show needed another season, but unless D&D were willing for people to realize what Dany was, that wouldn’t have helped. I’m sure the self-contradictory mess we got was a result of trying to write to deceive the audience and also give hints of the “real” story. Right after s8 I mentioned The Six Sense as a movie that told two different stories really well in that, we watch with one understanding, experience a revelation at the end, and can rewatch it with that new understanding and it makes total sense. I’m guessing that’s what they were aiming for, and something happened that altered those plans so we didn’t get the revelation. 

IMO, the way the writing was in s7, D&D were planning to totally condemn Dany as the monster she was (that’s what the field of fire 2.0 and burning of the Tarlys was prep for), but there was a tonal shift in s8, and they used Tyrion and Jon to defend her in the finale even when she had just committed a far worse act (burning KL). Honestly, I don’t think D&D liked Dany, I don’t think they liked the fans enough to do something just to be nice, I assume there was pressure from HBO to not destroy all interest in Targs because of their hopes for other shows, and they softened her ending as a result. All speculation, of course. 

I agree that Jonsa was prepared in the same way Dark Dany was, and I agree that it is as essential to the end of the story, so it puzzles me that it didn’t happen, anon. Or rather, that they continued to hint at it while not confirming it. We have all absolutely misinterpreted the “clues” because literature is art. It isn’t a neat tidy thing and literary analysis very easily becomes more about who we are than what the author is saying, so I’m sure we’ve picked up on lines and made too much of them or missed important bits because of what we’re drawn to or don’t like, but I am certain Sansa is getting a romance, and Jon is basically the only candidate for marriage as @istumpysk had pointed out (link). I am also pretty sure Jon’s kids will be Cat’s grandkids to answer that particular fear of hers, so to me, the question isn’t will Jonsa happen, only how. 

As in, just how much did D&D screw Jon and Sansa over? Did they take a secret marriage away from them? Did they take a wedding demanded by the North from them? @you-are-2-me says both (link). Did they take a silent, but mutually known, love from them? A calm domestic life? A Queen Sansa and her affair with the Lord Commander or Captain of her Queensguard? I’ve read it all, I’ve thought it all, and I haven’t made up my mind.

D&D changed a lot in earlier seasons even when they had the books to work with, and Martin still said GoT was a faithful adaptation, so it’s very possible that any of those scenarios happens in the books and D&D just didn’t care. But, if Martin is to be believed that the endings are the same (and not just same-ish), I’m guessing there will be a Jonsa secret marriage and a child, and Jon will agree to exile or the Wall to achieve peace (I know it’s dumb). 

[indigosprite]

In another ask, you shared your thoughts on why you didn’t like 6996 etc. do you think 2795 share the same problem? I think while Tsuna and Kyoko doesn’t seem as weird as 6996 on the surface upon further speculation and reading works where Kyoko becomes this bamf vongola tenth wife who does anything for Tsuna, it sort of treads the same vibe as Chrome and Mukuro in some way. Idk I just want to hear your thoughts on maybe 2795 and maybe 2786 as well.

Hi hi

Had to search these because I literally did not have any ships for this show until I rewatched it and just merged my favorite characters into one pair that happened to be a ship. I  forget the others exist...With that being said, take this with a grain of salt because I honestly don’t even think about these ships a lot, forget they even exist. How KHR was written will always make the the very idea of Tsuna with any of the female characters feel weird or odd unless you’ve managed to read or create enough Fanon that changes your characterization of the original dynamic. I don’t think they share the same problem but maybe a similar one ? Tsuna and any female character compared to Mukuro and Chrome is very different in my opinion. (funnily enough it’s also because Mukuro isn’t a misogynist shsjsjsj) 6996 could work, they actually have a relationship that’s very personal to both parties and unlike 2795 they’re both aware of it and have a distinct unique connection with each other that consists of shared interests trust and mutual respect. it’s just odd to think about because chrome looks up to Mukuro and the power imbalance feels weird, he’s literally keeping her alive. (Which I know is disgustingly sweet I find it very heartwarming. )

2795 is this one sided crush with zero redeeming qualities. There was nothing remotely romantic or intriguing happening between Tsuna and Kyoko the entire series. If we took out Tsuna’s inner thoughts we honestly would’ve thought she was just this nice girl he knows from school. If we took out Tsuna’s thoughts in general and left it up to the fandom pulling this ship out of their butts it would honestly be 1000% cuter. All their interactions read like

“this girl is so lovely I really like her and she’s talking to me that’s amazing”

“Thanks for the pencil. Do your best on the test okay?”

I’m not swooning over the most lackluster interactions on the planet because he is over romanticizing it. Even the reason why he likes her is not that interesting or convincing. Which I mean I get it he’s only 14 he’s not thinking about all the small stuff like emotional support or validation or like not wanting to be alone etc. It’s still just you’re pretty let’s be happy all the time while you hold my hand forever. He deserves that he’s literally a kid. but even when i was younger i didn’t see it between them ever. On top of their interactions being boring they never give us things that make you go “oh wait she might actually like him hmmm” . they could have tried a little harder to make it a little more romantic? sometimes they show us Kyoko in a pink background hands clasped surrounded by hearts and I forget she’s supposed to be viewed in that light. I forget we’re supposed to actually consider her liking him too but what are we supposed to think Kyoko is looking for in a guy that makes Tsuna a possibility when she doesn't exist past eating cake and worrying about her brother and Tsuna. I think it’s also fair to note that they never imply that Tsuna actually thinks about her beyond his image of her but we see how caring he is with his friends to the point where he can point out their flaws and work through them anyways and accept them. Tsuna realizing Yamamoto was not himself during the Guardians trial is a perfect example of this, it establishes the relationship they built with one another. another example is Tsuna acknowledging that Gokudera is overwhelming and short tempered but he wouldn’t trade the guy for anyone because he is loyal and a good friend.  he cares for Kyoko as a person in general but he never reaches that depth when it comes to her. he doesn’t have to either because it’s just a crush, how you manage to take that through the next ten years of his life I honestly don’t know. 

TL;DR : My ONLY problem with 2795 is the fact that there is nothing to work off of but the implication that Tsuna likes this girl and that’s why they are endgame. she matters very little, just a figurehead of his normalcy. she’s written just as badly in fics, can I blame you? no you were probably like 14 writing them. do a lot of people still do this ? yeah so i’m just not interested until the fanon has changed her character for everyone. 

I know I sound super hypocritical because “Sprite what the fuck does 6918 have that’s soooo intriguing they actually canonically hate each other how is that any better.” the answer: Mukuro and Hibari have a more established relationship with mutual feelings than those two, even better they’re actually really strong feelings (of pure hatred). Bonus, despite being aloof both characters also have fully developed personalities and Opinions/Behaviors that we can mold however we please. they actually have a relationship to play around with that's what makes it fun and lets you have those “actually they’re pretty similar in this aspect” because you know shit about both of them individually. 

Now for 2786,,, as i sit here and think about it Haru and Tsuna make so much more sense for all the reasons him and kyoko don’t . 

Kyoko and Haru were already made solely to be Tsuna’s love interests (specifically Kyoko) , but then it went on to be something they didn’t even bother hiding when they reduced their characters and their interests to looking after kids and repeatedly worrying over Tsuna. The reason I don’t find it appealing is because there really wasn’t any dynamic there at all. This boy liked this girl and that’s literally all it was. She has no depth , and despite being written for him nothing about Kyoko screams you’re perfect for this kid. Nothing says, You’re compatible, You have common interests, you two can rely on each other. She was pretty and nice and polite and that’s all they shared along with half the cast. With Haru they went the completely opposite direction, this girl likes him and is upfront about it. she's not a better candidate just because she's not the typical pretty girl whos quiet and polite and caring,(She’s not the better written female character either, this is reborn. they all lose here.) she’s the better candidate because we actually have a personality to compare to Tuna's. she was purposely given this big personality because he was never going to be in love with her because she’s like all the other intruding figures of his life. Again we have this one sided crush, know he doesn’t like her at all but you can actually see where they do go right and wrong. she’s a complete person. 

Haru can handle a little wild in her life, she was the first one to know he would be a mafia boss and it didn’t phase her at all. Tsuna might need that later in life.

In the future when Tsuna finds her crying she tells him not to think her feelings have anything to do with him, completely different dynamic from kyoko whos emotions are always directly related to male characters and what they are doing. 

Haru and her cosplays are so perfectly absurd and she does not care how weird he finds them, she has this big embarrassing trait to her that Tsuna comically responds to but just grows to overlook and accept.  

she actually talks to Tsuna quite a lot and helps him out whenever she can, because he doesn't like her she's allowed to actually exist in his world and he sees her fully because of it. It makes sense to see his significant other who will be involved in the mafia as an asset who he wants to protect and not just...something he needs to protect bc they honestly don't want this.

she interviews the entire cast of the show because haru just fits there, in a yamamoto like way, she can just handle it. 

Tsuna and Haru could have been perfect friends or a couple. they had the grounds for it. it’s just not what he wanted but I can totally see them working out for each other later in life. they make so much sense! i’ll have to think about them more sometime soon. 

Hope I answered you questions, this got long.

[causticsunshine]

i was tagged by both the lovely @dyingstars-x and @harrymegirlfriend to answer twenty questions about myself! this was a lot more candid than i anticipated but here we go~

💗what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

alex!

💗when is your birthday?

july 21st! cancer season baybee

💗where do you live?

in the US! i've been in the pacific northwest for about eight years but i'm definitely still a californian at heart

💗three things you’re doing right now?

1. jobhunting 2. trying to open my online shop 3. attempting™️ to finish deadline stuff and this HSLOT drawing i've been working on since saturday 🤞🤞

💗four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

i go through little phases where i have my one big primary interest—one dee since returning to it last summer—that sticks around for awhile and then some smaller, less involved ones that tend to come and go, so i'd say right now the only other 'fandom' i'm kinda in is for MDZ/the untamed/cql, even though i'm a very late member to the party!

💗how is the pandemic treating you?

okay i guess? i'd really like to be moved out already as being in therapy and gaining confidence since my big mental breakdown last fall—accompanied with quitting my job of nearly four years that didn't get me anywhere in life—i've realized how many unhealthy behaviors and mindsets are perpetuated in my household and how they're....really not good for me at all. but i also know i can't get to the place i'd like to be mentally and emotionally without moving out, i also can't move out until i find a 9-5 with bennies with all my health problems + me losing my insurance in the new year so it's been....a time.

buuuut besides the soul crushing terror of being an adult living at home with people who don't understand you, i'm confident now and a lot of my mindsets have changed to healthier ones and i've regained my love of art and being creative?

💗song you can’t stop listening to right now?

it's a combination of 'i wish i never met you' by loote, 'crowd' by sophie cates, and...... 'stay' by the kid laroi + justin bieber (although i think that one's just an earworm i need to work out lmao)

💗recommend a movie

i just got to rewatch 'cowboy bebop: the movie' and it's sooo fun....(spoilers) i know the ending of the anime is supposed to be purposefully open as it just covers a section of time in the characters' lives where they're all together but i kinda wish i'd watched the movie after as opposed to when it takes place because it's a little bit...of a nicer (and much clearer) wrap up!

💗how old are you?

twenty five 🧓

💗school, university, occupation, other?

currently jobhunting for a Boring grown up job just for some regularity and insurance (and $$ to get my ass OUT) but i want to take on freelance commission work again too! i dropped out of uni in like 2018 because the school i was going to kept fucking me over with credits just to get my associate's but maybe i'll go back one day.....maybe.....

💗do you prefer hot or cold?

HOT only because it's so gd cold and wet where i live now and even when the summers are warm they're super short and don't compensate for the months i spend not moving out of arthritis pain and freezing my ass off

💗name one fact others may not know about you.

i always come up with fun ones when i don't have any reason to share them lmao but i guess.....staying on-brand with 1d stuff, and i might've said this before, but louis gave me my first bout of gender envy that i recognized as actual gender envy when i was like, fifteen? and as i was coming out of my obvious emo phase into one more subdued, i totally dressed like twink louis for almost a year....haircut and everything....

if i can find the one photo i'm thinking of i'll post it but until then use your imagination sjkgdf

💗are you shy?

i can be? i think once i vibe with someone enough it becomes easy to talk to and open up to them but before that i can be pretty closed off and a bit impersonal.

💗do you have any preferred pronouns?

they/them!

💗any pet peeves?

i'm one of those 'people talking or random noise being made near me while i'm trying to concentrate on something fuels my murder response out of nowhere' people but otherwise...outside of common courtesy/manners stuff being ignore, i don't think so? although i genuinely hate when people walk right behind me or right in front of me...shit makes me anxious and ticks me off dfjkngdf i got shit to do!!

💗what’s your favourite “dere” type?

am i boring if i say tsundere just because it's relatable? although dorodere is kinda fun in the right setting....i love a good character twist!

💗rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

i'd say a 5? there's a lot more i want to do and achieve and things i know i could have right now if my ADHD and anxiety didn't still have such a death grip on me but i'm also in the best headspace i've been in in years so i'll take that as a win!

💗what’s your main blog?

this one!

💗list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

swmpwxtch is my art-only blog because i'm slow at finishing things and know there's no point trying to make this an 'art blog' when i reblog so much, and then prickelndauge is my insp blog (so if you're wondering why there's a startling lack of fashion and art on this blog, it's mostly over there!), then i have one for creepy/spooky stuff (bonepickng) because i know not a lot of people want to see that on main, aaaaand am-ref a ref blog for art tips, life things, donation pools, etc.! (and some old urls i have saved)

💗is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

at the risk of sounding like a YA protagonist: my heart is full of love and i try to be as understanding and open as i can be but i also have a very short bullshit fuse, so while i'm still happily understanding of certain behaviors and mindsets, if you cross the line that i put very bluntly in the sand, you're not crossing back over.

(ie i love my friends but don't be a dick and if you are you get one warning and that's all <3)

uhhh i know a lot of people got tagged already and have done this so! i'll be tagging @grimmpitch @hershelsue @niallnailme @dragmedown @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @justmehernthemoon @non-binharry @genius0flove @mamaharry @theymetinthetoihlet @saintqueer and uhhh anyone else that would like to!! and if you've done this already please ignore me~

[stilesxeveryone]

The Rewatch, pt2

Feel free to message me about any of my dot points! Ultimately this is just for me, so I can remember all my thoughts the next time I do a season or episode specific fics, but I greatly encourage discussion!! None of my friends watch teen wolf so I can’t discuss things with them :(

Season 1, episode 7

Stiles: I’m not scared of you!

Peter: and I took that personally

To be honest I don’t think I’d ever take a werewolf fight to my high school, like everything is gonna be locked and oh god there are so many stairs and nowhere to hide

I will still never understand why Scott threw Derek under the bus in this episode? Like I feel like saying Derek is the murderer that’s behind everything just raises way more questions than answers and would cause more problems than solutions

Stiles punching Jackson? Valid and wonderful

Okay I’m gonna be honest here, there was a big old chunk of this episode that was just dramatic tension and no dialogue so I did not follow a single part of that because I’m also drawing dinosaurs at the moment

Also I find it interesting that Peter (the big bad alpha) seems to want Scott to kill his friends and join him as pack member. Why does he decide that one pack member is better than turning the others and forcing them to join as well? Maybe he believes it will create stronger loyalty, but in my opinion I feel like numbers are more important at this point in time

Season 1, episode 8

Oh no I hate this episode

Scott and Lydia kissing is actually one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and why I hate this episode), and wow asshole move from both of them

Watching this episode makes me feel less bad about the fic I half-finished where Scott major attacks Stiles on a full moon because uhhh, it’s kinda accurate to the asshole ways of early Scott

Werewolf - now with added visual hallucinations? (Also I still hate their beta shift faces so much, especially Derek’s)

Okay but yes to a canon divergence AU where Chris and Kate Argent think that Stiles is the second beta werewolf instead of Jackson

Season 1, episode 9

I really wish they put in like any effort at all to make the photos that Scott sends to Allison actual photos? Instead of just screenshots from previous episodes? Like where are my cute couples selfies or sneaky candid photos during study dates and shit

Jackson dos a really good job at being absolutely creepy, like I hate it but also good shit

Stiles, at literally every interaction with Derek, saying he’s not afraid of him and being confident and then immediately being frightened by him (and the same happening with Peter in the high school) is character consistency and I appreciate that

I wish people wrote more Stiles and Danny friendships tbh (as well as relationships to be fair), I just really enjoy all their scenes together

“You must be Stiles” yes bitch!!! I always find it funny how fucking soft Peter says that line, like his voice is so gentle even though he’s meant to be the big bad wolf and all that

I’ve been meaning to say this since episode one but I love the music they use, as in the actual songs and such, but I literally hate the instrumental stuff they use. Very rarely does it build tension the right way and it almost never sounds nice

Season 1, episode 10

I still continue to not at all understand why Peter needs Scott

“You’re way too pretty to be out here all by yourself”

Okay but Allison/Lydia power couple (Lydia looks so good with red lipstick)

The whole scene of Stiles’ father being drunk and saying “I miss talking to you, and I miss your mum” is so soft and sad and personal and I love it

Oh my god I totally forgot about the part where Peter takes Scott’s mum on a date, that’s so weird

Also “you have incredible skin” is so serial killer-y, I can’t believe Melissa let him get away with that

Jackson really needs to listen to his gut more, like stop trusting the scary wolf men and go do some homework (also wow Derek really ripped into him about the fact that no one cares about him)

Season 1, episode 11

My god, Derek deserves to kill Kate. She’s so gross and he deserves a little revenge

Allison getting Lydia to go with Stiles to the dance! I forgot about that! As always, give me Allison/Stiles sibling/best friend relationship or give me death! Also Stiles/Lydia friendship is very good as well

Did Peter just say that Allison should go for a lighter dress? While she’s holding a black and white dress? Sir this makes no sense (also Allison looks great in dark outfits)

Also there’s no way teachers don’t immediately notice Jackson giving alcohol to some of the other kids, they’d be watching the drinks like hawks dude

Jackson goes through so much this season (and the next), it makes me feel so sorry for him

The CGI for Peter’s fangs extending is honestly so gross and I hate it

“Because you’re the clever one, aren’t you” if only more people understood this

Season 1, episode 12

Peter making a period joke is so,, absolutely unnecessary and weird and I hate it

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Allison’s mum is a snake and I hate her

Also Allison basically has to decide on whether her boyfriend is a monster or if her aunt (and family in general) are monsters and that is a tough decision, especially with how manipulative Kate is. I don’t remember what exactly she does in season 2 but idk how much I can blame her for it

Parking garage scene!! My favourite to read canon divergent scenes about

In defense of Scott, some of my passwords do in fact involve the name of my significant other, but in argument against Scott, I’m a little more creative than just his first name

I wish this show gave me the classic wolf howls instead of the weird, low, grumbly sound that makes no sense to me

I tried writing a parking garage AU once and it went horribly, but I think I’ll be coming back to it soon! Having some very fun ideas right now

Stiles and Chris scene! God bless Stiles just straight up not taking any of his shit and putting him in his place about the Hale fire

Also I don’t think it gets mentioned enough that Jackson witnesses this entire scene of Stiles standing up against the big bad hunter

I honestly really like that the code is “we hunt those who hunt us”, I think it’s valid and it’s more about self defense, even if Kate and the others don’t treat it like that

They really set Peter on fire again, huh, definitely not adding to his trauma and major pain or anything

Overall I do enjoy this season, I mean there’s a reason I continued watching it and am back here again for another rewatch. I think there are definitely some issues with the writing, of character morals and motivations not always aligning with their actions and that kind of thing. I really hope that as the show continues I see improvement in Tyler Posey’s acting, because until now I’ve never really paid too much attention to him honestly (which is a concern since he’s the main character).

I do really wish that they didn’t set Peter on fire, and I find it interesting that Stiles and Jackson were more involved with Peter’s death than Scott was. Although if Scott (or anyone other than Derek) killed Peter we would have avoided like all of season 2, but I do enjoy season 2.

I really enjoy seeing the characters interacting with each other honestly, especially Stiles interacting with any of the “bad guys” and the bad guys (Chris, Derek, Peter) and I really wish we got to see him talk with Kate, honestly.

[partyanimal167]

Bodyguard AU

Hey everyone! I am not new to the Bleach fandom, but since I’m rewatching the anime I decided to try my hand at some GrimmIchi fanfiction since the ship has caught my eye (and I’ve bingeread a bunch of fics the last couple weeks). I have no idea if this story will continue or any plans, but hey, I wanted to try writing them. I hope you enjoy :)

He got on his nerves. He was always there even if he couldn’t see him. He knew there was something about him that made him want to fight.

Grimmjow spit out the bloody gauze from his mouth and that signature grin was smacked on his face. “Shit, I can still hear the crowds. They love me!” he snickered. 

“Well the victory was well earned. You looked like you were in trouble there for a minute.” Grimmjow’s trainer, Shawlong, replied and finished cleaning up Grimmjow’s wounds.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez was currently undefeated for last year and was looking to take the Middleweight title. He was a cocky bastard who was nicknamed “The Panther” for his fast moves and stalking actions when looking for an opening. Things were looking up this year as endorsements and side gigs were coming his way. However, he wanted, no needed, to secure that championship title. It would be the cherry on top.

Grimmjow kissed his teeth. “Tch, shut it. I was doing fine.” he grumbled. He heard a chuckled and glared at the source.

The only complaints Grimmjow had besides no title was the orange-haired brat named Kurosaki Ichigo who was currently paying more attention to the game in his hands and the chocolate piece in his mouth. 

“Why is this bastard here again?” Grimmjow complained.

Aizen chimed in. “For your protection. You know you have some rowdy fans and plenty of enemies. I don’t want anyone hurting you outside of the octagon.” he explained all too calmly.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. “If someone tryna pull a fast one on a UFC fighter they can just get what’s comin’ fer them.” he stood up and put on his shirt. “Besides, are we sure this brat can even do his job properly? He ain’t even paying attention. Can he throw a decent punch?” Again there was a cocky chuckle.

Ichigo stretched and pocketed his game into his suit pocket. “I promise I can hold my own against you. That’s why I was hired.”

“Bullshit. Me? You’re biting more than you can chew, Strawberry.” Grimmjow pressed.

“Watch your mouth or you’ll be needing Shawlong to add some bandages to that pretty stupid face of yours.” Ichigo threatened and the typical scowl was plastered on.

“I appreciate the compliment. Unfortunately for you, I plan on getting a chick tonight once this is all over.” Grimmjow shot back.

Aizen finally stepped in. “Guys enough.” He tossed a set of keys at Ichigo. “Take him home tonight. Grimmjow, no clubbing”

“What!” the men shouted. “Doesn’t he have a driver?” Ichigo argued. “Why can’t I go out?” 

Aizen only smiled. “We only have three matches before Grimmjow challenges for the title, and I don’t want anything happening to him. The driver can go on a vacation, and I know you want the cash. You’ll get a raise.”

“That’s a low blow...” Ichigo mumbled and pocketed the keys. 

“And Grimmjow, I don’t need you out making a bad image for yourself. There’s a limit to how much of a bad boy people want to see.” Aizen explained. He stood up and fixed his suit cuffs. “See you gentlemen in a couple weeks. Good night.” he left the room.

Ichigo rubbed his neck. “Guess you’re not getting laid tonight.”

Grimmjow thew a towel, but Ichigo caught it.

~~~

Apparently, Aizen wanted Ichigo as a live-in driver/bodyguard because Grimmjow found the boy was always closer than he thought. Thankfully, his bachelor pad was big enough for a family, and there was a separate building that was almost the size of a single home itself. Ichigo took up temporary residence there. Grimmjow was annoyed at first when Ichigo’s friends had rung his doorbell instead of going to the other building. He gave them as much attitude as he could muster, but they didn’t seem too troubled. 

He was shocked to see one of his bodyguard’s friends show up in training clothes with a pair of kickboxing gloves on. Then, the one benefit of Ichigo’s presence came in the form of Mr. Chad Yatsutora. Grimmjow was surprised to learn that his bodyguard did in fact take up some physical training and sparred. Chad was willing to spar with Grimmjow but insisted that he was still and up-and-coming fighter and nothing compared to the undefeated celebrity. 

Grimmjow should have called bullshit. 

Grimmjow chugged his water bottle and looked over as his bodyguard and his best friend chatted away after the two had gone at it for about an hour. Chad still needed some help with speed, but his blows were powerful.

Chad returned to Grimmjow and did a little bow. “Thank you.” 

Grimmjow shook his head. “Ah, don’t worry about it. You’re more fun than going to the gym. They’re too uptight.”

Chad simply nodded and looked over at Ichigo. “You don’t train with Ichigo?”

Grimmjow was a bit surprised at first and laughed. “The Strawberry?” he howled. “You’re kidding.”

Chad shook his head. “He’s good.” That was all he said before bowing again then leaving with his things. 

‘He’s good.’ That rung in Grimmjow’s head for a few days. Now, that he thought about it, Ichigo did seem to keep up during the endurance training the fighter did at home. Grimmjow would run miles in the neighborhood, and Ichigo would be only trailing by a few yards saying that he needed to keep an eye out for his surroundings. Ichigo would occasionally spot for Grimmjow in case he thought the man was pushing his boundaries at home with no Shawlong to watch him. Grimmjow was sure that Ichigo was fit well enough to have some of his own fights, but the man would never step into a practice ring with him. He wanted to change that.

Grimmjow walked down stairs and spotted the young man in his kitchen--the other building didn’t have everything. Ichigo felt his presence and turned. “Do you believe in clothes?” addressing Grimmjow’s nowhere-to-be-found shirt. 

Grimmjow wanted to get annoyed, but he had a mission. “Shut it, you like it.” he mumbled. He watched as Ichigo fixed himself a bowl of cereal. “Fight me.” the words came out before he could stop.

Ichigo lazily looked up at him before shoving a spoon in his mouth and shaking his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Kinda stupid for a bodyguard to hurt the person he’s meant to protect.” Ichigo answered before going back to enjoying his cereal as he leaned on the counter.

Grimmjow wasn’t going to budge. “Oh what protecting? I’m fine.”

Ichigo raised a brow before placing his bowl down and reaching into his basketball shorts for a phone. He unlocked it and pulled up the gallery before tossing the phone. “Those are photos that vary from stalkers, paparazzi, suspicious vehicles, and the occasional bold fan that thinks they can climb a wall.”

Grimmjow swiped through them while Ichigo went back to his cereal. “How come I never knew this?”

“It’s my job to make sure nothing crazy happens. You train and fight, and I keep the weirdos away.”

Grimmjow didn’t want to admit it, but he had a point. He handed back the phone. “I don’t care about that right now. I want to fight you. I need a challenge, and your buddy has his own fights to prepare for.” he paused. “What’s the problem, Strawberry? Ya scared?”

Ichigo glared at him. “Watch it. Aizen, isn’t here to protect you.”

“I think you’re forgetting which one of is an undefeated professional fighter.”

“And one of us has the job of protecting said fighter.” Ichigo then grinned. “I also ain’t the one begging for a fight.” 

“Oi, I don’t beg Kurosaki.”

Ichigo chugged his cereal milk and wiped his mouth. “Keep that pretty face of yours in check. I don’t want to be the one who messes it up.” And with that he walked away and left out the backdoor. 

Grimmjow wanted to chase after him. His instincts were ringing loudly that Ichigo might be the challenge that he needed to get ready for his next fight. He was annoyed and irritable. He obsessed over a challenging contender, and Ichigo might have been what he needed to satiate his desires.

~~~

Ichigo was back in a suit and sat boredly as he watched Grimmjow tore through his training. He went through drills, exercises, and sparring opponents. He was having a bad attitude day. Ichigo thought about his proposal from the other night. Old man Urahara recommended he take the bodyguard position as a way for him to get some type of career going. The old man also said he was tired of patching up Ichigo from his fights with local gangsters, and that he could at least surround himself with some legal fights. 

Ichigo wasn’t so keen on the idea, but he wanted a change of pace where he could help his sisters save for school. Aizen came along after Urahara suggested him. Aizen happened upon a video of Ichigo putting in some work on some thugs who had tried to rob an old lady. Once Aizen learned that he also trained with Chad, he took on the candidate. Of course, Ichigo had to go through vigorous security training and could tell you more about doors and windows than you knew existed. He kept up with the sparring and took on some other fight training to keep him sharp.

He did enjoy watching Grimmjow’s fights, but he knew the man for the attitude and temper he had. They clashed and argued all the time, and that only settled a little since Chad presented as a chance to get some steam out for both of them.

Ichigo caught a water bottle tossed his way. “Take your clothes off.” Grimmjow growled at him breathing heavily and sweating.

Okay, Ichigo did blush slightly at that. “Take me to dinner at least first.” He ducked from a flying glove. “What the hell man?”

“I ain’t taking no for an answer, Kurosaki. You can fight. I know it. I’m tired of waiting. So get in that damn locker room or take me home and we’ll do it there.”

Ichigo was stunned at first, but he knew he couldn’t avoid it this time. He tossed the keys out from his pocket and twirled them around his finger. “Alright, pretty boy. Don’t complain if you get hurt.”

“Hell yeah, Kurosaki.”

~~~

So some gentle flirting. Maybe a part two. Who knows? Let me know what you think. I appreciate the read and hope to contribute more to this fandom. 

Thanks! 

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[snoopctm]

CtM Thursday Thoughts

Call the Midwife Unite--Episode 6x05

Buckles and Broadcast Issues

Hello Nonnatuns! Well, that was an interesting edition of CtM Unite this week! It was great to hear from Cliff Parisi (Fred), Annabelle Apsion (Violet), as well as Heidi again, this time, even despite the frequent technical difficulties! It was also great to revisit this memorable episode. More thoughts follow:

First, some thoughts about the episode:

It’s weird watching them out of the context of the series sometimes, since episodes like this have stories that continue in other episodes. I know what happens to Sister Mary Cynthia and the Turners, for instance, but watching this episode like this makes me almost want to rewatch the next one, just to get closure. I’m guessing this might spur a more comprehensive rewatch for some fans, and since so many of us are confined to our homes at the moment, it seems like a good use of free time!

The introduction to Reggie was very well done. In just a few scenes, the episode established introduced us to Reggie’s mum, showed us Reggie’s home life, and established Fred as the familial connection before showing Ivy’s sudden death and the necessity for Reggie to stay with the Buckles. The development of Violet’s relationship with Reggie was also built up especially well.

I still miss Barbara! I know this is a recurring mention for me, but of all the deaths and exits on the show, for some reason Barbara’s affected me the most. She was so young and hopeful, and seeing her that way knowing what’s going to happen just reminds me more of how sad her death will be. That said, I still voted for episode 7x08 for next week, because it’s a great episode and deals with its subjects particularly well.

Loved the Turner moments! It’s fun seeing their new house for the first time, now knowing what the inside will look like starting in series 7. A 60s dream house for my OTP!

Val is such a great addition to the show! Loved seeing how she bonded with the other nurses so quickly.

I noticed the theming a bit more watching it this time--flowers vs. “weeds”, parents letting their children grow and “leave the nest”, accepting change, etc. 

Now, some thoughts on the after-show:

This was a weird week, in terms of technical issues! It was great to see everyone involved--Annabelle, Cliff, and a special message from Daniel Laurie (Reggie) as well.  A lot of the time, though, because the others kept getting dropped out of the call, it ended up being “The Heidi Show”. That was all right because Heidi handled situation so well, reading questions on the live feed and answering them with a lot of depth and detail. The quick cameo from Stephen was also fun. It was sad to see everyone coming back one by one and then freezing up again, and Annabelle and Cliff didn’t get to say as much as they could have said without the tech problems, but it was nice to hear what they did  get to say, and again, to hear so much from Heidi.

I liked hearing about how Vanessa Redgrave records the voiceovers for the show, and how it’s usually in a studio in London, but she’s also recorded them from other locations (New York, at least). Also, it was interesting to learn that Heidi writes all of the voiceovers, even on episodes written by others.

I feel bad correcting Heidi, but Cliff has missed a few episodes (most recently, 9x05). The only two original cast members who have never missed an episode are Jenny Agutter and Laura Main. Heidi has written so many scripts and doesn’t seem to have as much direct involvement with day-to-day filming, from what she has said, so it makes sense that she doesn’t remember every detail. 

The bits about casting Annabelle were interesting. I knew she had been in another show Heidi had written for, but didn’t know that Ann Tricklebank had suggested Annabelle for the role of Violet. I love hearing these types of behind-the-scenes stories.

Even with the technical issues, I think these after-show chats with the cast and team are incredible! It’s so great to hear all these insights from the makers of the show--actors and Heidi herself. I’ve read a lot of interviews and articles about this show, but there’s always more to learn, from the people who know it first-hand! I hope these CtM Unite events continue for a while.

I know Heidi answered a question about how long the show is going to go, but I still find myself wondering that, and also when they will be able to resume filming, when series 10 will be able to air, etc.  

I’m looking forward to finding out what episode wins the voting for next week, and who the after-show stars will be. I have a theory that they pick the candidates based on who they want to have on the after-show (or who is available for that week), so I’m wondering if Leonie Elliott will be there next week, since all the episodes feature her, and maybe Jennifer Kirby as well? We’ll see!

So, Nonnatuns, what do you think? Any new insights into the episode? What about the after-show? Also, what episode did you vote for for next week? Any guesses for who will be on the after-show?

Also, I want to add a quick reminder that if you missed the after-show live stream for any reason, you can catch up on the CtM Facebook page!

Next week, more thoughts! Stay tuned!

[ladyreggiewright]

Practice Challenge Part 1

Turns out I’m an impatient idiot. I don’t know how many parts i’ll do, I think 2? either way, here it issss. Ehm...hope you enjoy? Please enjoy. I beg you 

Higher Ambitions

It’s an obvious choice to apply. It would be a great opportunity. A national tradition. A historical event happening once every generation- if we’re lucky. In my opinion it couldn’t possibly be cancelled again, even if the Prince was in love. It would simply be unwise from a political point of view.  They must have agreed with me, since the engagement was cancelled and applications arrived this morning. In a perfectly pressed envelope, the Royal emblem on top of the page with that thick structured paper I favour. Regina Carla Wright, neatly typed in a regal, cursive font. It can’t be said the Royal family doesn’t know how to present themselves, even on paper. Of course I won’t accept if my courses have to suffer from it, but some arrangement can easily be made. Hansport University usually promotes outside experiences. Moreover, I’m sure it would look good on my resume, might I get in.  Do Royals write recommendation letters?

"You should sleep." I hear behind me.  I look over my shoulder to see my uncle Aran sitting in roughly the same position as I am, hunched over some papers. There's a fort of binders build around him, the soft desk-light enhancing the circles under his eyes. He’s a lawyer and working on a case. Has been for the last couple of weeks, and has gotten slowly more buried in work, his fort growing in size every day. My own fort is located at the dinner table at the moment. Some discarded coffee-cups form the front, followed by an impenetrable wall of books and notebooks. The wounded soldiers can be counted by the amount of ink spots I keep managing to end up on my hands. It's three in the morning.  "Hypocrite," I mumble, loud enough for him to hear. "Nerd," he fires back, not looking up from his work either. "Actually, I will have you know that I'm not doing any schoolwork right now." I smile a little smug, seeing how he starts to frown.  "Job?" I shake my head. "Extracurriculars?" "Wrong again." I tap the papers against the table to straighten them. "It's a Selection application." "What!"  He jumps from his chair, an excited smile on his face as he approaches me. A stack of his papers fall on the floor but he ignores it. He must really be excited. I should have known, and not just from his reaction when they announced it. At least once a year, he forces me to watch the previous ones, calling it quality time. I don’t know if becoming gradually more disappointed in the previous state of our country can be considered quality. Neither can the whole procedure. The candidates’ debate skills are mediocre at best, no matter how much they bat their lashes. Not that it matters.  But it should.  At least, if I get the chance to have any say in it.  “You never said anything about applying,” he says, pleasantly surprised.  “I wanted to research the procedure first,” I reply, filling in my whole name and age. "They're asking for the colour of my eyes and hair, but no essay whatsoever,” I comment, checking the front and back of the form twice to be sure. Uncle Aran looks with me from over my shoulder. “It's already ridiculous," I add. "Of course, how else can Prince Arin romantically compare your political viewpoints to a summer's day." He makes a twinkling movement in the air with his hand, as if he's coating me with glitter as my fairy godmother.  I grab a blank piece of paper anyway and write my name and date at the top. "Appearances shouldn't matter as much for the future freaking Queen of the country." "Says the pretty girl. Besides, if this were a democracy, people would be voting for whoever is most entertaining to watch, you know that." He shrugs. Considering how he roots for the same sassy mean girl every rewatch, I’m not surprised he’s indifferent to the Selection being what it is. Or was. It’s some time ago now. "Maybe that's why we're not a democracy," I state, starting my first sentence. He does not look amused and even somewhat disappointed. In me or the country, I'm not sure. I'd say the latter is more justified.  Sighing, he starts to walk to the stairs, picking up the cat along the way.  "I'm going to sleep, and so are you," he says. "I'm coming in a second," I reply as I continue writing on why I should be admitted to the Selection. Why I would be a great addition even. Why I- "You're putting that pen down right now or I’ll burn that essay of yours first thing in the morning." I begrudgingly comply. “Usually my second draft is better anyway,” I argue, though putting my pen down.  He shakes his head, mumbling something about craziness to the cat. She seems to agree. Of course she would.  Traitor. 

My hair drips a little on the table from my swim, wetting the morning paper. I catch up on the Globe’s articles- skipping the endless pictures of celebrities handing in their application forms- and drink my coffee. “Any news?” Aran grumbles, pouring his own coffee in a huge mug. He’s not a morning person.  “MRTFLR is doing good in the stock market, and they voted against-” “I meant about the Selection you’re applying for.” “Oh,” I answer, “Only about who is and who isn’t going to apply. So no.” He quickly throws back his coffee, already late for work, motioning for me to tell him anyway as he does.  “Alright, some Two named Angela is applying, she even broke up with her boyfriend for it,” I read, disinterest coating my voice. Who reads this stuff? My question is answered by uncle Aran’s genuine interest on his face. “She did?!” he brings out, knotting his tie around his neck quickly. Apparently she’s known for something. “Uh, yeah. Oh, and your favourite actress Tianna isn’t.” "Objection!" "You're a lawyer, you know that's not how it works. It should be used-" "I know, honey, but sometimes people try to be funny." He shakes his head like I’m a lost cause and kisses the top of my head, before he grabs his briefcase to go to work. I hate when he does that. Like I don’t know the joke I’m a part of.  One would expect I’ve caught on by now through trial and error. Yet somehow I fail to notice people make intentional mistakes to be amusing. My therapist said it was coming from my compulsive desire to be right.  I replied she was wrong. The sessions stopped shortly afterwards.  Besides, there was nothing left to discuss. My parents’ death had been talked about in excessive detail. I had told her about it enough times. I wasn’t going to cry about it anymore, let myself be miserable and useless. It wouldn’t make sense to let myself dwell on that any longer.  I mean, the whole thing is almost 10 years ago now. There is nothing to say other than that they were successful, hard working people. Going on what should have been a short political trip to Swendway. Dad was Hansport’s Mayor, mom started as his assistant and became his spokeswoman. They made the perfect team. They’ve raised me till the age of twelve to be just as hard working, just as ambitious and successful.  And I will be.  That’s the least I can do in their memory. Try to be even an ounce of what they had hoped for me. They named me Regina, after all. Though I prefer Reggie, the Latin meaning of it still stands.  Queen.  I suppose subtlety wasn’t their forté.  Uncle always says mom focussed way more on the second meaning: female ruler. Usually he adds that above all she wanted me to be happy. I don’t know what my dad meant by my name. I suppose fathers tend to call their daughters their little princesses anyway. However I don’t remember either of them focussing on me becoming anything other than successful. The most royal part about that were dad’s own ambitions to become an advisor in the Palace.  An ambition I follow.  Uncle never really talks about my dad much. A lingering resentment is usually audible in his words. What for, I don’t know. I know Mom wouldn’t have gone on that plane if she didn’t want to. He seems to think she was simply too loving for her own good.  But I’ve seen clips of her as my father’s spokeswoman. She could be ruthless. Uncle has different memories with her of course, being her brother. That’s why I’ve never understood why he has gotten rid of all their work, everything through the shredder or in the fireplace. I would have clinged to every piece of paper of them if I had the choice. Their handwriting, their way with words. Reading interviews in old newspaper just isn’t the same. Imagining the words as you look at pictures isn’t either. Aran just said it was better that way, and me being twelve and grieving, I nodded.  Now I find myself compulsively reading in archives or watching them make speeches at festivities. Trying to find advice in their political statements, their decisions for our Province.  It never works of course. 

The halls are surprisingly quiet. Or well, I’m not surprised really. It’s the second week of the new semester and people are still sleeping off their hangovers as usual. Already slacking. I don’t mind. I like it better like this. The ancient buildings, the statues and the dusty library just don’t feel the same when there’s people walking around bragging about their keg stand of the night before. How someone can walk among the same places that some of the most accomplished people of our country have walked and think only about their next sexual conquest is beyond me. Since a marble statue has some problem wrinkling their nose at those people, I take the liberty to do it for them.  So I don’t mind the thinner crowd. Besides, at least halls like these permit me to read and walk at the same time.   I finished my essay in between my Political Science classes and I go over it again now. I admit I am unsure about the quality, since there’s no clear assignment. Of course, there’s no real assignment at all. But that’s where they’re wrong. Therefore the extra effort could only work out in my favour.  Just before I can fully reread it, Ethan rips it out my hands.  “What’s this?” he asks, apparently too incompetent to read, “You’re applying? I didn’t know you had the hots for the Prince.” He looks surprised and amused, checking out my essay. Ethan Brookes.  One of the most promising students at Hansport University, on his way to graduating with honors and possibly at the top of his class. If it weren't for me, of course. It’s been this way since the very first lecture I attended. Whatever position one of us takes on a subject in class, the other will oppose it. Sure, it keeps me on my toes. But he’s also annoying enough to keep standing on my toes.  “You’re applying with an essay?” he lets out with a chuckle, “You know that’s not how it works right, it’s not college.” “If college did work like that,” I say, grabbing my papers back, “You wouldn't have gotten in here.” He rolls his eyes.  “Whatever.” Weak argument. “I just don’t think they make crowns big enough for a head like yours.” Never mind. Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “I don’t think Royal Advisors wear those anyway,” I counter, lifting my chin somewhat. “Ha!” he lets out, snapping his fingers at me, “Of course. I knew your heart couldn’t have magically thawed out for the Prince.” I scowl at back at him, much to his amusement.  “I’d argue having a heart of ice beats not having one,” I add coldly, sweeping my braid off my shoulder before I turn away, leaving him annoyed or entertained. Or both. Either way, I don’t have time for his antics.  I am on a mission.  It takes another couple walks in the area close to his office, but then I spot Professor Matthews. He is at the end of the hallway with a thick stack of papers under his arm, glasses on top off his head waiting to get tangled in his messy hair. Or what’s left of it. I power walk to catch up with him.  “Good morning Professor.” He jumps.  “Fucking hell,” he mumbles. Not very professional. “Morning Miss Wright.” “I wanted to talk to you about the-” “I really don’t have the time, Miss Wright,” he says quickly, turning to the hallway on his right and advancing his pace. I follow. “Of course, but I just wanted to ask-” “No, Miss Wright,” he sighs loudly, “I can’t give you extra bonus points because you’ve given me two papers on the topic. Yes, they were both sufficient.” “Sufficient?” “Good, they were good. Now leave-...I have to go,” he replies, swiftly going into his office to hide. Perhaps I should add persistent to my application, under qualities, I joke to myself, feeling accomplished.   I realise that that makes me unlikeable in the eyes of some. Nevertheless I tend to follow the thoughts of Niccolo Machiavelli. It’s almost impossible to be a good politician and also a good person. This proposes the age old question whether to be feared or loved. Both can be argued for, but in my opinion feared has the upper hand. A leader of any degree is not someone to love, it’s someone to look up to. Someone to respect, to trust and to make decisions for you. Someone who looks at a problem as a whole and can conclude what’s best when the people can’t do that for themselves. It’s impossible to be good at all things, yet a politician should be good at those things most of all. And in that sense it’s also impossible to be both loving and kind, as well as a good politician. So I won’t apologise for who I am.  I have higher ambitions than being loved anyway. 

[cblgblog]

On that Siberia fight in Civil War

Rewatched Civil War recently and just…need this of my chest.

First thing, Steve saying yes when Tony asked if he knew about Bucky killing the Starks.

If the implication is that Steve did know unequivocally, for sure, then that should’ve been handled a lot better. What we were actually shown was a blink and you’ll miss it shot among a montage of HYDRA’s greatest hits that was, at best, an implication. And Steve’s being shown this by a computer version of an evil Nazi, who admits in the same breath that HYDRA’s whole thing for the last 70-odd years has been lies and manipulation.

It’s possible that Steve could’ve gotten better confirmation later. He could’ve gotten it from Bucky’s file, the one Nat gave him at the end of Cap 2, he maybe could’ve gotten it during the 2 years he was looking for leads…it could have happened. But they needed to show us if it did, because that HYDRA clip show? Not enough for a solid “yes” on Steve knowing.

I always took Steve saying yes as Steve being Steve in a bad situation, knowing that saying he didn’t know was a lie, so he says yes. Because he knew more than Tony did, and it’s not like Tony is going to take a “Yes, but let me explain” answer. But regardless, it needed better handling, if we’re meant to believe that Steve did know for certain.

Now, Tony attacking Bucky, even though he acknowledged 5 minutes earlier (with his Manchurian Candidate jab) that he knows Bucky isn’t responsible for Winter Soldier’s actions. So many people hate this, and rightfully so. I will say that I don’t condone it, but I understand it. Off the top of my head, the usual anti-Tony arguments here are

·       The loss was decades ago, not recent, he shouldn’t be reacting so strongly

·       He should’ve gotten some therapy and handled his grief like an adult

·       He hated Howard anyway, why react so violently?

Yes, the loss was decades ago, but it’s still a man watching his parents be murdered. By the man standing a few feet away. With Tony’s mind and his instant “I know that road” we can assume he’s played out the scenario in his head a thousand times over the years. And that’s when he thought it was a car wreck. Watching your parents get murdered is going to screw with anyone’s mind, even someone healthy, which Tony so isn’t.

He should have gotten therapy, dealt with the loss in a healthy way, but he clearly didn’t. He even says during the MIT demonstration that he actively avoided processing his grief. Which isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but does explain it somewhat. Wounds heal if you treat them. If you don’t, there’s festering, infection, scarring…the 20-odd years on it’s own wouldn’t have automatically softened the loss.

Tony may have hated Howard, or parts of him, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love him too. If he didn’t yearn for the man’s approval, he wouldn’t have made such a speech about not getting it in IM 2. If he didn’t care, it wouldn’t matter. Parent/child relationships are so much more complicated than just one thing, and if there’s abuse or neglect, even more so. On a side note, Howard always seemed more the absentee dad, the careless dad who talks without knowing the damage of his words than the raging abusive drunk the stans want to make him out to be. Which in this case means it’s more likely that Tony didn’t all out hate the guy, even before Endgame where we get the Tony and Howard scenes.

And even if he did, Tony’s feelings for Howard don’t have to matter here, because he says “I don’t care. He killed my mom.” Even if he hated Howard completely (which later canon disproves), okay, he’s still hearing his mom begging for her life.

So, it was a cruel, manipulative tactic by Zemo, and I get why it pushed Tony to doing what he did.

Here’s the thing. That doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t make his prior actions throughout this and other movies okay. Should Steve have told him about Bucky? Maybe, if he knew for sure, which again, don’t think he did. But Tony’s actions on finding out are pretty solid proof that Steve had solid reason to shut up, too. The video exacerbated the whole thing greatly, yes. If Tony was thinking a little more clearly, it maybe wouldn’t have gone that far.

Does that mean that Steve could’ve told him in a better moment and Tony wouldn’t have reacted in a similar way? Hell no. He might not have physically attacked Steve, or had Bucky there to beat on, but that doesn’t mean we’d get the lovely fanon of Tony forgiving and forgetting, doing his best to treat Bucky, giving him a wing in Avengers Tower…hell no. He still would’ve hunted Bucky down, or tried. He still would’ve been out for blood.

Tony hasn’t had a healthy brain in years. He’s been a mess of fear and anxiety and misplaced savior complex. Even if Steve had told him the truth at some point in the 2 years between Cap 2 and 3, it wouldn’t have gone well for Bucky.

And I kind of get it. Mind controlled or not, the guy physically murdered Tony’s parents. That’s hard to just shrug off. But ultimately, Bucky didn’t have a choice in it, it was not Bucky who really pulled that trigger, and it’s not fair to try to kill a man for something he couldn’t control.

And again, I do not totally hate Tony for that fight. I can understand why he did it. He’s a damaged man, he was manipulated. But, not an excuse. Every other Avenger has some kind of trauma equal to or worse than anything Tony went through. Nat was sterilized, tortured. Clint had his mind controlled and killed innocent people because of it. Bruce turns into a green rage monster and, at least in early films, has little to no control over the destruction he causes.

Everyone on that team is damaged, but Tony is the only on who gets a free pass for everything because of it. Tony’s parents being killed by Bucky wasn’t revealed to him until the end of the movie. The Accords are still the equivalent of hitting a nail with a sledgehammer, a terrible solution to a legitimate problem. He’s still using them as a way to deal with his guilt, and you don’t do that when it affects countless other lives, including those of your friends. He still shot Sam at close range…why? Because Sam did the very human thing of trying not to get shot out of the air? Because Vision, a member of Tony’s team, shot down Rhodey?

Even if you go for the fact that Steve lied, and he is a terrible friend, and that Tony ultimately trying to actually kill Steve for it was a somewhat understandable reaction in the moment? Doesn’t excuse Tony’s behavior. In Civil War, in AoU, in Infinity War when literally no one else on either Avengers team cared about The Accords, the airport fight, but he’s still hesitating to call Steve when the fate of the universe is at stake.

I can understand why Tony does a lot of what he does. I think some of it is more complex than some of the antis who are more anti than me do. Understanding is not an excuse. Being hurt and traumatized yourself doesn’t excuse giving anyone, especially your friends, the same treatment.

[unnidoesnursing]

New Grad Interview Tips

Y’all probably see this everywhere just from youtube and googling, but I really honestly hate the trend of watching videos to find out the information that I need.

So I decided to write out some of the things that I found, and worked for me in my interviews.

1. Research the facility

Most recruiters and hospitals know that new graduates are applying to a lot of places. Therefore, it stands out more when someone can say the facility’s mission statement or state facts related to the facility like ranked #1 for certain specialty procedure.

When you incorporate aspects of their mission statement into your interview responses, it makes you more desirable as a candidate because you are displaying traits that are practiced at that facility.

But also, it shows them that you did put in a little more effort rather than just doing the bare minimum of filling out an application and hitting submit.

2. Use the STAR method of answering questions

You can google what this is.

As a new graduate nurse, most hospitals know you probably won’t have enough clinical knowledge for them to test you on patient scenarios and such. However, they do know that they can ask you behavioral questions to see how you will response in particular situations.

Nursing is a teamwork based profession whether you want to believe or not, and it is particularly crucial for critical care and ED units where people are expected to help others. These hiring and unit managers want to make sure that the person they’re hiring will mesh well with the personalities in their units. They want to make sure that you are able to work with other people, acknowledge when you’re wrong, and provide feedback to let others know when they did an exceptional job.

3. Practice your interviews and have some interview answers written down

I wasn’t nervous going into these interviews because I have a lot of experience interviewing in a corporate setting already for promotions. I’ve done group interviews, 1:1 interviews, panel interviews, you name it. I’ve done. But I’m only this confident now because I’ve had so much experience in the past.

I know how to dress, what to say, because I have experience. But if you don’t, you need to find someone who can help you practice so that you won’t be nervous in front of 1-10 strangers who are all asking you questions, and you need to learn tactics that help you refocus when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Ask someone that you TRUST to be honest with you when providing feedback otherwise you won’t know what your problem areas are and how to improve.

When you practice, you can recall answers easier. Don’t write out paragraph responses, but outline the important parts of your answer so that you can easily string together events to formulate a response.

4. ASK QUESTIONS.

Towards the end of the interview, the interviewer will ask do you have questions. You need to ask questions. This shows that you were paying attention, researched their facility, and have topics that you want to know more details in!

Even if it’s only 3-4 questions, you still need to ask. Aren’t sure what to ask? Here’s a few:

What kind of patient population/cases are seen on this unit? What kind of opportunities are present for continued growth and development? Who will be my resource other than the preceptor? What is your managing style? How would you give feedback to someone who made a mistake? What do you think is the best trait for a new grad to have to be successful on your unit?

These kinds of questions give you insight to the unit and to management that may expose potential yellow or red flags that were not shown during the initial interview process.

5. Bring a notepad, planner, or folio for notes.

You don’t need to write something down everytime someone talks. But you should be taking notes through the interview on crucial information like unit patient population, how orientation done, and etc., so that you can go back and compare units and facilities after receiving offers.

Also, this shows the interviewers that you are LISTENING and INTERESTED.

6. Try to relax.

Yes, interviews are extremely stressful, and you feel like you just have to land this position for your #1 choice or else your life is a failure.

HOWEVER, many of these people are trying to get a feel for your personality and how you deal under pressure. They want to make sure you won’t crumble, and being relaxed during an interview shows that you’re prepared and can handle stress. When you’re relaxed, you’re less likely to stumble over your words and make mistakes. Typically when you’re anxious, you tend to make a mistake, get flustered and make more mistakes which leads to more anxiety and so on.

7. Treat every interview as a learning experience.

Didn’t get the offer? No problem, it happens.

If you can, email them asking why you were turned down so you know what you can focus on. You should also take some time to reflect on your own interview to see what you could’ve done better to bring that to your next interview.

If you’re interviewing from home, record your interview in private so that you can rewatch. Interviewing at the facility? A little more difficult, but use your note pad to write down notes immediately afterwards while things are still fresh in your mind!

[heytheredeann]

Quaran-meme

I was tagged by @im-the-punk-who and I’m keeping his title because it’s glorious. 

Are you staying home from work/school?

Yeah, my university has been closed since, um, February 24th I think? I’m not sure if they were all closed on the same day in the entire country. They could maybe open up again on May 4th, but we are waiting on news.

If you’re staying home, who is with you?

NO ONE, GOD BLESS

Are you a homebody?

I will be 100% candid here. The answer is yes, and quarantine is probably the best I’ve been doing mental-health wise in forever. I miss like two or three people, but I am alone (whereas my dad and sister are stuck with my mother......... thoughts and prayers) and I don’t have to go visit my parents once a month as I usually do (which is stressful and annoying and prevents me from studying even if I wanted to) and I’ve had more time on my hands to study than I would have had I been forced to go to class. Not to mention that, even under normal circumstances, my brain is on a constant state of “Outside world! People! They are  d a n g e r o u s”, so as far as my brain is concerned the world has simply caught up with me and instead of having this looming vague threat that makes ‘outside’ so dangerous there is a pandemic, there’s a name for it, there are things that I can do to protect myself. Tbh, I’ve never felt so calm. Sure, studying still stresses me out because uni is a mess now and I’m terrified I won’t be able to get my degree etc etc, but I’d probably be worried about that regardless of the pandemic, so. 

An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

Bold of you to assume I have a social life. Maybe this year’s pride? I managed to finally talk myself into attending my first one last June, I doubt there will be one under the circumstances, but I would have loved to go.

What movies have you watched recently?

I don’t watch many movies (too much of a commitment LOL), so it’s been a while actually (could be two weeks. could be a month. what is even time.) but the last three were: Jojo Rabbit (good but  u p s e t t i n g), Unicorn store (absolutely lovely) and Portrait of a Lady on Fire (great, 10/10, sign me up).

What shows are you watching?

LOL, how long do you have? I’m always on a Black Sails rewatch because I have no shame (*wink wink*), I’ve been watching Northern Rescue on Netflix because it was on my list (it’s okay, a bit sad and nothing special, but okay) aaaaand there are tons of shows currently airing that I’m following: 911, the Charmed reboot, In the dark, Tommy, Little fires everywhere, Killing Eve, Bull, Our Girl, Vagrant Queen, Prodigal Son, Batwoman, Council of dads (though judging from the promo of the second episode I might drop this one really fast...). And this is not including the miniseries/shows that I’ve recently watched/caught up on LOL. Yes, I have a problem.

What music are you listening to?

I have not been listening to that much music actually, probably because I usually do that while I’m cleaning or on a train. Obviously no trains in quarantine, and I haven’t been cleaning much, so. That being said, my most recent obsession is this youtube channel.

What are you reading?

Not much LOL. I’ve been re-reading the Inkheart trilogy by Cornelia Funke but I kinda stopped when the quarantine started and I had to dedicate a lot of time to studying. I have a book that my friend gave me for Christmas that’s titled The trauma and the soul (literal translation from the italian version, I have no idea what the original title was) by Donald Kalsched. I’m actually dying to read it, but I keep procrastinating because I feel like I’m Not Focused Enough and I wouldn’t appreciate it properly LOL. I have been reading a lot of fics though, especially Geraskier fics because I’ve watched The Witcher and I knew I would love those two, goddammit. 

What are you doing for self-care?

Honestly I am just going about my business as usual, with less going out LOL. Every now and then I allow myself to rearrange my studying schedule to take a ‘day off’, but I consider self care the relaxing time that’s generally included in my day, so. 

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...okay, I am not tagging anyone here because it’s stressing me out, I’m terrified(TM) of tagging someone who wants to think about anything but the quarantine. So like. if you want to do it, go ahead and tag me, I am curious to know how you all are doing. 

[storypraxis]

MARTHA JONES Is The Perfect DOCTOR WHO Supporting Character

Having recently rewatched Series 3 of Doctor Who, not only is it my favourite of new Who, but so is Martha Jones. I’d also go as far as saying she is the perfect supporting character.

First off, Freema Agyeman was the perfect casting decision. The showrunners were really impressed with her in the minor role she played at the end of Series 2. Instead of ignoring this fact, the writing brings up how it was Martha’s cousin who died at the Battle of Canary Warf. This accomplishes a couple of things; it explains how the same actress played two characters on the show without causing continuity errors. Then you have the Doctor forced to be reminded of said battle.

And Rose.

Which brings up to how the Doctor is still dealing with losing Rose at the end of Series 2. He needs a new companion and when a smart, clever, resourceful doctor presents herself to fill the spot, they both take it. The show gives us two doctors for the titular Doctor to choose from to accompany him. It’s obvious why he’d go for Martha given how scared the other candidate is. Unlike Rose, Martha was whisked into an adventure along with a hundred other people yet she’s the one who joins him in the TARDIS.

Rose’s shadow looms long over the Doctor. The Time Lord takes Martha to the same places he took Rose. People have criticized the showrunner Russell T. Davies of being obsessed with the character of Rose and the drama that came with it, but for me it just comes off as staying true to the character of the Doctor. He isn’t just going to forget about Rose and how in sync they were. That would be very disrespectful to Rose and her fans. Sadly this means Martha does get left behind as a character. She fulfills her purpose perfectly even though it means she cannot compete when it comes to Rose. It makes her character tragic and very sympathetic.

Snog her, you idiot!

Maybe it’s just me finding Freema and Martha attractive but as an audience member you really wish the Doctor could see Martha the way she sees him. Albeit, the Doctor shouldn’t really be dating any of his companions to be honest. Still, Martha isn’t getting enough out of their relationship or lack thereof which is sad.

Speaking of sad, Martha can show her vulnerability as easily as she can be sassy and funny. She can stare at the Doctor with puppy dog eyes in one scene yet demand answers about him and his past the next. All these emotions come off naturally, both in the writing and with Freema’s acting. She’s just a perfect blend of a supporting character. Balanced like all things should be.

Now, having said that, there is a problem with Martha. Despite being a balanced character that also means she doesn’t have the highest of highs or the lowest of low points. For the most part, Martha lacks major strengths and weaknesses that would solidify her as a great character.

Martha’s fun even when she tries too hard to be funny.

For that to happen, Series 3 would have needed a Martha-centric episode. If she had wanted to go back to being a doctor for a while then maybe her personality would have shone through more. This would cause a detour in the story and mess with the pacing though. One could argue that “Blink” does that, but who’d want to get rid of that episode? Plus the Doctor-lite episode was needed so both Tennant and Agyeman could do more shooting for other episodes.

I have loads of ideas for a Martha-centric episode...

Martha is a perfect supporting character, as in she services both the protagonist, story and plot. Supporting characters just tend to not be fleshed out well enough to be great characters. Arguably this changes when Martha decides to leave the Doctor. I haven’t seen her adventures in Torchwood but (I will check them out now!) Martha’s return in Series 4 was glorious. When we last see her in Ten’s last episode she’s an outright badass. So there is growth and character development, I just wonder how much of that is offscreen.

Martha’s main weakness, if you can call humanity that, is her feelings of inadequacy brought on by her unrequited crush/love for the Doctor. It humanizes Martha, adding to the juxtaposition between her and the inhuman Time Lord. Again, serving the protagonist and the story perfectly. The one-sided love story just never goes anywhere. Martha’s decision to just get out is sensible and it makes her extremely likeable and wise. It provides a character arc for her, but it’s not exactly memorable nor does it propel the story into new heights.

Martha literally gives her last breath to the Doctor as they are about to suffocate on the Moon.

That said, Martha went way beyond the call of duty, sacrificing herself to help the Doctor. Especially during the two-parter "Human Nature/Family of Blood” where Martha had to witness the Doctor falling in love with another woman while trying to keep the Time Lord safe from evil aliens. All the while having to put up with the prejudiced attitudes of the early 20th century England.

Right before Martha schools her on all the bones in her hand that’s about to pimp slap her.

In the same two-parter, when the amnesiac Doctor-turned-human falls down the stairs, Martha comes over as soon as she hears of it. Concern for the Doctor’s wellbeing is the first thing on her mind. Sure, Martha’s trapped there with the Doctor being her only way out, but it never comes across like that. The things Martha endures are sacrifices she’s deemed necessary. It really speaks volumes about the true grit of her character.

Waifu material.

She never becomes bitter or hardened by any of it either. Yet she isn’t without some sass either. When Martha’s told she should knock before entering, she steps back towards the door, knocks it and comes back. Martha Jones is such a well rounded character it’s a shame we only had her for a single season.

I’ll reiterate; all this this makes Martha my favourite New Who companion. It makes her the perfect supporting character.

I was going to make a joke about this, but I think the logo speaks for itself...

Martha’s own supporting cast reflects this as well. They all serve to paint a picture of Martha and pushing the story forward. Martha’s mother Francine is excelently utilized with very little screen time. Her skepticism towards the strange Doctor is only natural. It makes perfect sense for Francine to work with Saxon’s people who seemingly want to protect Martha like she does. This side plot in “42″ is actually the best part about the otherwise mundane enviromentalist episode.

Martha isn’t a jokester, but she has her moments. Kudos to Freema’s versatility as an actress.

As a character though, Jackie Tyler, annoying as she could be at times, is far better though. Jackie’s flirty personality, her accent and overall attitude towards life just shines through her every delivery of a line of dialogue. There are plot involving Jackie’s dead husband coming back to life and creating a deadly time paradox, too. Whereas Martha’s dad dating another woman doesn’t have effect on the plot. It doesn’t even phase Martha herself, she just tries to steer clear and juggle between her mom and dad which is easy because by now she lives on her own. Drama free.

That is when she isn’t being jettisoned into the sun!

Side note, I’m glad the character got a happy ending, albeit not with the Doctor like she wished. After all the hardships she endured and sacrifices she made for the Doctor for very little reward, she’s earned a little peace and quiet. She wasn’t lost on a parallel Earth nor forgot her adventures. She didn’t “die” like Amy, Rory and Clara.

It would have been absolutely terrible had Martha died. She’s my favourite of the bunch so it’s good to know she’s still out there somewhere in the Whoverse. The fact she could be easily written back into the show some day warms my heart.

For future reference, should Martha come back to the show and should the writers decide to kill off her character... like they are doing with the show proper at the moment... then allow me to give the showrunners and writers some advice. If Martha has to die, make her sacrifice herself for the Doctor one last time. As a one final act of love towards the man (assuming he’s back to being a man).

She’s talking about Shakespeare, but Martha’s line is very indicative of her relationship with the Doctor.

Don’t give us Mad Martha who decides to burn down whole cities full of people, okay. Don’t give us that “Martha kinda forgot her Hippocratic Oath” crap. You got that? Just making sure...

Anyway, Series 3 wasn’t the end for Martha and I’m so glad the character came back in Series 4 and like I said, I’ll be checking out Torchwood for more Martha appearances. But we’re here to talk about her as a companion so let’s get back on track.

That’s what she said about my tangent.

Now, you could get a good episode about Martha’s family drama, much like how Rose changed time to save his dad. But it’s not really necessary. The family drama in Series 11 has certainly shown how dull and dreary stories like that can be. That is why, even though Martha and her family aren’t exactly great characters that provide great stories, they are perfect at providing a clear context to the imaginary world that the Doctor, the TARDIS and time travel represents.

Freema sells that magical moment of a companion stepping into the TARDIS for the first time perfectly.

Again, perfect supporting characters that don’t waste time away from the things people actually watch the show for. That said, I wouldn’t have minded seeing a cat fight between Francine and her ex husband’s new bimbo girlfriend!

Just a single scene like that would have been endlessly entertaining and damn memorable!

Imagine that but between her and the bimbo: “Keep away from my husband.”

Martha’s sister Tish fares a lot better as a character as far as personality goes. There isn’t really a sibling rivalry going on, but Tish’s remarks about Martha dating a science geek speaks a lot about both her and Martha’s characters. What they look for in a man. When the Doctor asks what a science geek means, Martha explains it’s just someone who’s passionate about science which makes the Doctor happy. Which is what Martha wants, whether she was telling him the truth or sparing his feelings with such an interpretation. Brilliant writing for the characters all around.

Tish working with both Lazarus and Saxon, even if both instances were brought about by Saxon himself, tells about Tish being drawn towards wealth and power.

She was even ready to “snog” a de-aged Lazarus!

Damn right, she is! Not just a pretty face but smart too!

I wish we’d have seen more of Tish. Her interaction with Martha really created a contrast that benefitted both characters. In “The Lazarus Experiment” especially, Martha gets to shine. After helping her family escape, she goes back for the Doctor against her mother’s wishes. Later, Tish comes along. Martha takes control and takes Tish with her so that the Doctor has time to defeat Lazarus himself. Martha let’s the Doctor shine and in doing so shines herself. Tish acts as a great supporting character herself by asking who the Time Lord is. At this point Martha already knows because she’s asked him herself, demanding answers.

“We need to talk.” Never a good sign except in fiction.

Martha or the handling of her character is often criticized for how she had a thing for the Doctor. Her character was much more. In an early episode “Gridlock” we get one of Martha’s best moments; when she demands answers about the Doctor. She forces the Time Lord to come out of his shell, to stop pretending everything was all right. The Doctor tells Martha about being the last of the Time Lords which fits perfectly to the story of the Series.

Namely that the Doctor is not the last of his kind.

The Doctor also mentions how the Time Lords were all lost in a Time War, battling against the Daleks. It’s a great segway into the next two-parter story about Daleks themselves. The story flows really well with one thing leading to the next. The pacing is really good while the characters remain true to themselves. That said, it’s good to have Martha around to challenge the Doctor.

Asking seemingly harmless questions like this is vital for good supporting characters. We get to see the Doctor’s reaction to his home planet being brought up.

That said, I should mention a couple of things. In the episode “Smith & Jones” the Doctor kisses Martha to mark her with some of his DNA. This is done on the fly and while the Doctor had a plan, I dislike how this puts Martha in danger. Now, she doesn’t get into any serious trouble but considering how trigger happy the Judoon platoon upon the moon are, things could have gone real bad. This kiss does start Martha’s infatuation with the Doctor so there’s that.

Wait, don’t snog her, you idiot! Now she’s in danger!

The Doctor’s indifference to cool and hot Martha does make him in return look cooler. Martha is essentially the Doctor’s cheerleader which, despite sounding as not complimentary, really is that. You need the audience to root for the main character and this is partly achieved through supporting characters singing their praises. Of course, the characters still have to earn that praise. You can’t just have characters emotionally validate themselves or others to the audience.

Though it doesn’t hurt when Shakespeare himself is singing your praises.

The downside to the Doctor’s indifference is that he does come across as a jerk at times. Now this can be either a good or a bad thing based on the audience. While Martha is perfect as a supporting character, you don’t want neither her or the protagonist to be perfect. The Doctor missing Rose, as annoying as that can be to some, is keeping true to the character. The Doctor is in mourning. It’s his grief period and Martha is there to help him through it. In doing so, Martha learns that she doesn’t want to wait forever for another person to notice her.

In one of the best episodes in New Who’s history, “Utopia” draws a parallel between Doctor and Martha and the Professor and his assistant Chantho. Much like Martha, Chantho is smart, kind and caring. Based on her interactions and demeanor, Chantho adores the Professor and like Martha with the Doctor, she has a crush on him. Both the Professor and the Doctor don’t notice these signs. For an individual episode this is all well and good, but given the secret about Professor Yana, this parallel is much more impactful than it seems at first.

Spoilers to a Series over ten years old; Yana is actually the Master. This twist alone, the callback to the concept of a fob watch allowing a Time Lord to masquerade as a human was a brilliant touch. Martha of course recognizes Yana’s fob watch instantly and again, Freema sells the feeling of terror and dread so damn well.

Later in the episode Martha recognizes the Master’s voice as Harold Saxon. The name we’ve heard all throughout the Series. A lesser show would not have given Martha’s character such insight. It’s one of the numerous details that make her character clever and likeable.

Unfortunately, likeable characters aren’t always the most compelling ones. This makes Martha an underappreciated companion in the series history. While Martha is my favourite, I can’t really blame the detractors. Martha Jones served her purpose on the show which meant couldn’t shine as brightly of a star of her caliber. I’d still take her any day over Clara Oswald who was such a bad supporting character that it encroached on becoming the Clara Who show. And I say this as someone who loved the past and future Claras and Jenna Coleman playing the character(s).

Anyway, back to the actual episodes. While context is key, I find it interesting how the Master kills Chantho, showing no regard for her life. Now, the Doctor does care about life and he’s risked his own life for Martha many times. Still, being around the Doctor, much like with the Master, is dangerous. Neither can truly love their companions the way they want. That parallel is fascinating and I’m glad Martha was allowed to walk away from it of her own free will. Definitely one of the reasons this Series has the best writing out of New Who.

One of the few times the Doctor rewards Martha’s loyalty and bravery. Her reaction to receiving a key to the TARDIS is everything!

Speaking of writing. Before Martha says her goodbye, she has to walk the Earth and spread the gospel of the Doctor to the people of the world. Many have criticized how the show made the Doctor out to be a god who regains his power through prayer essentially. Rightfully so because even in context the twist does feel outlandish albeit totally awesome. Subjectively I’d say it’s one of the best moments in New Who.

Basically, the people have been subliminaly made to vote Master/Saxon into office. Now the Doctor has tapped himself into the same telepathic field and receives prayers, the word “Doctor” across the world. This turns him basically invincible for a time. Time enough to defeat the Master.

Because the telepathic field had been established in a prior episode and its effects had been reincorporated over and over again in the form of a drumming that the Master himself heard inside his head, I find that the twist is properly set up. That and because Martha has spent a whole year travelling around the world acting as a cheerleader for the Doctor.

The best cheerleader you could ever hope for!

Though how the Doctor’s orders relayed by Martha never reached the Master’s ears is a mystery. Martha was aware of a traitor though and she spoke to her accordingly, feeding false information. I doubt she told the people about the telepathic field. The Master could not put two and two together when the Doctor himself told of the plan. To the Master it was just hope and prayer.

Suffice to say I have mixed feelings about the final twist. None of this detracts from Martha Jones as a companion though and that’s why I wrote this blog post about her. If you’ve managed to get this far I thank you.

Boy, that was a lot of out of order, wibbly wobbly rambling about a show that I love and a companion I adore. Started well, that blog post.

<3