#my crying was so bad btw
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utena, man.
#crow talks#rgu#i think im gonna take a break before i watch the movie and revue starlight#just. maybe two days? idk.#i have no idea how i feel abt it.#ig i feel relieved that anthy's ok.#also chu chu#but. everything else idk.#i have no idea how i feel other than sadness abt the fact that i finished it.#my crying was so bad btw#i had snot all over my hands bc of me trying to wipe them away#i got a tissue later dw#should've got some ready but alas i did not think of that#i might rewatch it one day.#dont know when but i know i want to watch it again#now knowing everything rewatching it will probably be an Experience for sure#but for now im gonna take a break then watch the movie then FINALLY revue starlight#cant wait to find out what happens there!!!
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the public reaction to i saw the tv glow is like a perfect case study into how cis people take up queer spaces and unknowingly mock and enjoy trans suffering. sitting in the theater, i had a pit in my stomach the entire time. so many times, i would tear up and then someone else in the theater would laugh. and i wouldn’t cry because how would they look at me when the lights came back on? because they don’t see it. they don’t see the pain. they think it’s funny. i left the theater completely silent, not saying a word to my boyfriend and he didn’t say a word to me until partway into the drive home. the people around us immediately got to picking it apart, explaining what it all meant to each other, dumbing it down, making theories. cis people see the the movie, just like transness, as something to debate. a conversation. something to dissect because it makes them uncomfortable if they don’t understand it in their easily digestible way.
#i wanted to cry so bad. i had tears behind my eyes. and i couldn’t after hearing everyone in the theater LAUGH#also if you’re the girl who said she didn’t see a trans allegory in it: you are srupid#i saw the tv glow#jane schoenbrun#my bf is the one good cis person btw he saw how heartwrenching it was bc he loves a trans person (me)
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Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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Call me crazy for reading so much into a show like House MD but I think the main theme of House is that despite doing everything perfectly and being a good person, shit happens.
Sickness and pain will be inflicted on you and your loved ones and there's nothing you can do about it, but to persevere, to fight for your life, to keep living despite it all - to love is a part of the human condition; our capability of love is what makes life worth living, despite all the pain that you will inevitably experience.
This show exemplifies the pain of living and the needs and desires of human beings to keep going despite it all
And idk... There's something beautiful about how a show with so many stupid whimsical dumb scenes can impart something so profound in my stupid little brain
#im crying btw#ugly crying thinking about how much i love this show#shit happens and its normal and itll be okay#heph is being sappy again#this show giving house 1000 bad omens and giving him happiness only to rip it away and im just sitting here#house md#malpractice md#hatecrimes md#it is of course not the only theme of this show#but its the main one#theres also everybody lies#and theres also YOU CANT! ALWAYS GET! WHAT YOU WA AAAANT#anyways the yaoi is great but i love the interpersonal relationships between the doctors in my doctor drama show the most#its easy to obsess over hilson but like#its not just about hilson for me#heph.txt#btw im still on s4e13#im scared of the season finale everyone keeps telling me to brace myself#also even from the start this show is very much about pain (house and his physical pain and also his emotional scarring#and every season and episode we watch him cope with his pains with drugs and destroy himself and it hurts so much :[#houseypie
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Irondad fic ideas #154
CW: this one's pretty gruesome. read at your own risk
Peter is a young child who's been kidnapped. His parents and/or his aunt and uncle were killed and he was taken. Along with a bunch of other little kids, he's been held captive and experimented on.
When the Avengers suddenly bust the kidnapping operation, the kidnappers try at the last second to destroy their research. They gas the small room where the kids are being held.
It's Iron Man who ends up blasting through. What he finds is horrifying. All but one of the children are dead.
The one who's left is just sitting among the bodies, crying, shocked, terrified. Iron Man carries him out of there, then once they're safe from the gas Tony steps out of the suit to comfort the kid while he's given oxygen.
Little 5-year-old Peter Parker imprints on his savior hard.
He just went through an unimaginable amount of trauma, then Iron Man burst through like an avenging angel. This is the first time he's ever felt protected in his memory. Tony holds the crying kid, and the kid can tolerate no one else near him.
This becomes a slight problem when they get back to base. But Tony can't find it in him to let SHIELD take the kid away, let them strip him of this one tiny bit of comfort. He keeps seeing all those other kids when he closes his eyes.
This one needs him right now. And if "right now" eventually becomes "this is my son," well. Who could've predicted that.
#sing it with me: codependency irl is bad but reading it in fic heals me on fundamental levels#give me separation anxiety peter! fiercely protective suddenly-a-parent tony!#irondad fic ideas#irondad and spiderson#btw sorry this is so gruesome y'all#cw: violence#idk is that the right tag?#just this image of peter being the only one of a whole group to survive wouldn't leave my brain#then him imprinting on his rescuer instantly#how tony might struggle with emotional vulnerability normally but wouldn't hesitate to comfort this child#iron dad and spider son#peter parker#tony stark#also imagine the moment a few months in when peter finally asks tony to be his dad#tony (crying): sure I can do that#imagine a moment where tony tells peter about his own time being kidnapped#imagine what would happen if the kidnappers (let's say hydra) CAME BACK#queueueueue#see announcements
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Hi devil may cry fandom! Here's Vergil.
I'm not quite satisfied with that work because I couldn't show what I wanted. And I wanted to picture him as a yk small child in a dangerous big world but all my attempts were so ass I literally cried and cut my hair
Some doodles too
#devil may cry#dmc#dmc3#vergil#dmc vergil#dmc3 vergil#my art#no seriously why is this bitch so much harder to draw that his bro THEY'RE LITERALLY INDENTICAL TWINSSS#he looks like wanna poo btw#my haircut came out shitty too#BAD morning
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Day 54 - 60: Bat, Haunted, Curse, Leaves, Oil, Spiced, and Pest
IM SORRY FOR VANISHING FOR LIKE A WEEK NGL I DIDDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR SOME OF THESE (also reupload cus i forgot a day whoopsss <////3)
(for cogtober by @ftmultislacker)
#toontown corporate clash#pacesetter#graham ness payser#I AM A MESS TODAY HOLY SHIT#im not even gonna type out the tags i had here before im so tired#something something leaf pile something gore is fun to draw imo something something#thats my toon btw in the last picture I WANT THE SHREDDER SO BAD PLEAS#crying. im going to bed now gn#dailyloweffortpace#cogtober
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you scare me. you’re… different.
#TRANSFEM OREL NOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! you will think about it. you will.#moral orel#orel puppington#christina posabule#welllllll kinda ^3^#artsbotz#like you haveeee to be kidding me the ep where the gag is the posabules r literally the puppingtons mirror fuckinggggg dimension selves#and orel is the ONLY one whos counterpart is genderswapped……? get outtttaaa here man.#come on orel. say it [smiling like a sicko]#THE REPRESSIONNNALLLL IM KILLING MYSELF#btw putty is so crazy funny in this ep#thats the FIRES OF HELL LAPPING AT UR SOUL#ummmm. anyway. this did not come out quite how i envisioned but im happy cus i managed to do the posing without needing a ref#its like more toony style so it was easier but my brain is soooo fucking bad at posing so. im happy#hopefully it still gets the idea across and i dont get one billion orel/christina shipping allegations#idc btw also no hate but LOL not what this is. please believe me#also i do rlly actually like christinas design i like how she is just orel in a dress basically. no johnny testification occured. phew#this series is making me cuckoo fucking crazyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! blehhhh!!!!!!!#[thinks for a second and starts silently crying] hey guys whos ur moral orel bias. mines rev putty
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BRUTUS pt.1!!
THIS IS A SONGFIC RAHHH
summary: uhoh yu jie go a lil’ cray-cray 🤪🤪🤪 lil peice of lore drop!!
ive been watching him for my entire life
“Oh what’s that!“ my younger brother squeals digging through my cupboard filled with stories.
I try to supress a grimace, as he rips out pages hazardly. I want to shout, to scream. But I know I’ll be punished.
i hate the air he breathes, his foolish decrees
He grins up at me light shining in his eyes. Oh how desperately I wish to put it out.
his words so contrived
“When I’m older I wanna be just like you Yu Jie!“ He says splattered in colorful paint, while Father ruffles his hair and whistles. and i hate the way the townspeople gather outside “Wow! This is a work of art!“ My mother gasps as she holds out my brothers newest work of trash. A bunch of scribbles is what it truly was.
they hang on every breath, cling to his chest “Yu Jie! How dare you make fun of your brother!“ My mother cries, I clench my fists as I look down at the ground. “Answer me!“ She raises her hand quickly, and I flinch. My first mistake. She narrows her eyes down at me before pinching my arm, “Listen here young lady, we do not disrespect our male relatives“ Tears streak my cheak as I try not to cry from her grip. She pinches tighter. “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear.“ “...Yes Mother.“ home to his heart full of pride
“Awwwww... ʰᵃ́ᵒʸᵘ̀ this is a beautiful poem!“ Mother gushed over him while Father smoked a pipe and coughed all the smoke over the kitchen table.
’Why do I never get proper recognition? Just why?’
the oracle told him to beware the ides
He looks down clearly sad, I don’t care but Mother and Father would get on my case for not asking why.
“What’s wrong?“ I nudge him slightly wth my foot not wanting to get closer
“N-nothing...“
I narrow my eyes, he was always bad at hiding secrets.
and id be lying if i said i wasnt wishing
He giggles holding up a red toy, red.
Red was all I could see.
for untimely death or demise
“What do you mean Scarlett??“ I glare down at the girl trying so hard not to cry, creasing the newspaper almost causing rips in the paper.
Idiot. You can’t rely on anyone ever since the princess came to power...
“I- Well I just-“ She babbles on, I grimace and snatch it away from her and open it up.
He was on the front page.
I was not.
or am i wishing i could be like you
He grabs me by my ponytails and throws me in the cellar.
His beady eyes watching me.
Forever judging.
He wouldn’t do this to him.
Of course not! He’s the golden child after all...
that the people would see me too as a poet
’She ruffles my hair and looks down at me, the light shining in her eyes.’
’Oh how I ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ my mother...’
’And oh how she ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ me...’
and not just the muse
I woke up. Bedroom was as small and dusty as usual.
I should get a maid, but Mother only says ’dignified’ children get servants.
Then why does he have one?
Tagging!!
@babyghoul138 @cheerleaderman @twtysevapr @jewelulu
@beneathsakurashade @bunniehunn @the-rini-rush
@theolivetree123 @teighveepao @skrimpyskimpy @skibidibabygirl
@cloudiepuffs @kuragebride @4necdote @blood-red-bumblebee
@quartztwst @anonymousplant @gl00myb3arz
@imafrealinrainbow478484 @justyoureverydaytwstsimp
@angelwishezz @lavanda-fanstamal @amai-sakura-chan
@lpendergast @verysadsnail @ghostiidasponk @oya-oya-okay
@shinysparklesapphires @lilpainter123 @h0neybane
@buttholesparkles @day-dr3aming @mhedusard @tsubomisno1fan
@teighveepao @jadenui @rainesol
PLS LEMME KNOW IF U DONT WANNA BE TAGGED OR DO :33
#yu jie#’my name is brutus and my name means heavy’ 🗣🗣🗣#twst yuu#is it obvious yu jie is from the victorian era/an actually disney inspired world while all my other yuus are NAWT#anyway yu jie has a SUCH a sense of self-loathing she’s beating leona#bro i started writing this in october...#bad writing#hans christen anderson#hans christian andersen#uhm does she harbor some kind of unchecked misogyny that comes from her family???#yes#RAHH I LOVE THIS SONG#twisted wonderland#twst#angst#(...kindaaa)#i think#bro i hate writing#its so fun but i think im about to cry#/nsrs btw#oh yu jie my little fucked up daughter...#part one bcs i was too tired to write the whole thing#srry broskis 😞😞😢😢😢#and uhm yu jie comes from a classist family#so she kind of sucks#writing#oc writing
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"topmew don't like each other," "topmew only tolerate each other because they're in love," "topmew were never happy together"
meanwhile, topmew throughout their relationship:
seriously, are you all robots? do you not know what smiles are? what laughter is? fun? y'all are weird
#they literally go on playdates like what are you guys talking about 😂#like how do you think they fell in love in the first place????#all they did was have fun and enjoy each other's company lol#fought ONCE... made up and had sex#I DIDN'T EVEN INCLUDE EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT'D BE TOO MANY AND I'D SPEND ALL DAY ON IT#and btw if you think they aren't genuine that's on you#you made that up so you wouldn't feel bad about top sleeping with someone else#because you're afraid of genuinely being moved by a piece of media where the point is to move you. coward#it's bl if you're not crying then what's the point#topmew#top tanin#mew witsarut#only friends series#only friends the series#forcebook#force jiratchapong#book kasidet#my caps#ofs liveblog#mjtag#usercassi
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🦐🦐🦐
#what in hell is bad#But before I can talk abt this game... My wbh MC! 😁👍 Lee Keon. Goes with he/she pronouns.#<- this game devastated me. I was bored and it came into my life irrevocably changing me. It invoked a curse on me sjwkwkdkf#rizdoodads#<- The pronouns errors in the game really helped sell the transgender MC experience actually love that#Anyway this game.... Ouuuu this game. CRYING. IT'S LIKE. I say it's good. It's not even THAT good... It's buggy and grindey...#But it's got me logging on daily... Which I never do. Probably bc the tasks are so easy to accomplish + it's an idle tower defense game.#And it's decent enough writing that I get to grip the story by the collar and shake it wildly while I try to piece everything apart KSJDKF#LIKE THIS SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS SERIOUSLY. POINTS TO MY PRIV THREAD ANALYSIS. WHAT IS SHE ON ABOUT⁉️‼️#Anyway prepare for so much art of these guys crying#Don't look this fucking game up btw KAHALSJFK#whb mc#whb sitri#whb
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I had the worst sleep of my life last night I felt like I was being attacked by demons
#i was hot and sweaty and cold and my period started so i was in pain and the election i had a bad night and a slightly better but not great#morning#i did talk to my friends btw called one this morning talked to the others that night#hormones were NOT NICE TO ME cried alot#might cry tonight who knows bruh#kae.txt
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How it feels to learn about the Sweet Baby Inc controversy against my will, making me realize that there really are mfs out there who want to start up gamergate again
#a youtuber who usually has good takes just posted a video about it#and the comments are full of people crying about how there are more black people in their vidya games now#just shut the fuck UP oh my god#no one is making you 'bend the knee' (cringe phrase btw)#it's entirely your own fault that you can't handle seeing anyone who isn't a cishet white man in your precious video games#honestly the way capital G Gamers act is fucking embarrassing like they make the whole hobby look SO bad#sweet baby#sweet baby inc#gamergate#flashing#gif warning
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I think you made me start shipping Marchil
Your posts got me thinking about their dynamic then I wrote a fic that was supposed to be platonic but midway through I realized it could actually be interpreted as romantic too and now I'm just sad about how little time they'll have together
First of all, you have a lovely icon, second, I’m so honored… I finally read Not a bad way to go and it was soo so good like. My god!!! Pre-canon is underused and you did so many interesting things with it.
It sounded like a cruel joke, that the one who needed her concern the most was also the one least interested in it.
^^^ go read it go read it
Chilchuck was drunk enough that he needed to hold onto the walls not to fall, but apparently still sober enough to remember emotional vulnerability was his worst enemy, as he made sure to avert her eyes and said: “Namari made me come talk to you ” to make it clear he wasn't being nice voluntarily.
Yeah.
“Of course I'm scared of dying.” He scoffed. Did she really think so little of him? “But if I could choose, I would want to die doing something I love, like drinking. Or maybe fucking,”
Maybe you wish you didn’t know but my new favorite HC because of this is that Chil dies yes prematurely not of liver failure though but during coitus. Especially if marchil, the thought of him busting a nut and his heart giving out makes me laugh so hard. My god. Lmao. Oh god. Lmfao. Worst day of her life
Marcille knew Chilchuck wasn't a kid, but she often struggled to take him seriously as an adult because he was just so adorable and small. In this moment, however, she saw them exactly for what they were, even if it was just a glimpse. A sheltered, naive little girl trying to tell a tired, much more experienced man how to live the rest of his life.
Standing ovation
She tried to find an explanation to give him, but she couldn't even find one for herself. Why would she miss him? He was just Chilchuck, her coworker, Chilchuck who was cold, aloof, sometimes crass, evasive, and even outright mean. He who was level headed, reliable, trustworthy, perceptive and clever. He who had the least time left, even in a best case scenario. “I guess that despite your best efforts, there's still a lot to like about you.”
This fic goes so hard, standing ovation pt 2
“I just think it's better if we don't get too close. Don't you agree?” “I… maybe” she said, uncertain as he didn't know how to feel about that. Caring about people would only hurt her in the wrong run, she knew that, but unfortunately she couldn't help it.
I looove how they can be read to be similar on this aspect. My hand clenching around my phone as I rear up to rant about Marcille and the way she does keep people at an arm’s length subconsciously again my god my goood. Obsessed with this obsessed with this, underused for marchil. Terrified of loss through death vs rejection duo I love youuu
Brilliant ending I’m in shambles. I’m not gonna spoil it
You get marchil so much you truly do. The way they mesh, the way their views on mortality clash and both soothe & bruise… He doesn’t have much time left even in best case scenario (which Mr I won’t eat well I’ll drink and smoke a lot I’ll stress all day every day is determined to not make happen) which makes it all the more meaningful for Marcille’s arc when she learns from him to finally enjoy the present moments… It’ll only be a fraction of her life, but to him he’s giving her the rest of his life. What are some decades of love worth? Worth it, surely, if nothing else
#My only nitpick is that canonically they rarely hang out after work and you wrote that they did it often but that’s lit the only thing#Chilchuck tims#dunmeshi memes#ask#I have friends big fans of the timeline where Chil is one of those who miraculously live to 70#Marcille is always bracing herself year after year to lose him and it just becomes anticlimatic#Chilchuck the old fart grumpy husband who REFUSES to die#I wanna write pre-canon marchil as well eventually…#Anyways i hope u don’t mind me putting ur fic on blast!! I liked it a lot and again i couldn’t be happier i made you like the ship#Or even write fic like omg… i hope you make more!! You got them down real well#Thank you for the ask and thank you for the content!!! Made my day. Bith when u sent it and when i rea the fic i was having a bad day#Like his dad WOULD say that. ‘I heard you crying what the fuck’ aughh they’re so so compelling pre canon oh my god#I looove ‘platonic or romantic you choose’ fics and tackling alcoholic Chil is an instant like. The 1 flirty line was a nice treat#Marchil union is brainstorming Coraline AUs btw they all go so hard I’m looking forward to that wave#Tried to keep this a lil more composed than the ao3 comments I make lmaoo but yeah know that i’d do rabid keysmashes about it#‘You’re easy to love despite it all/even if you try to make it hard to’ is such a core of marchil
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