#and i wanna see what people would do with something like this! because i personally find it interesting
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Buck volunteers for the Thanksgiving shift. When Maddie asks, he apologizes, saying, "I don't really feel festive right now. But keep some leftovers for me?"
On the day, firehouses around the country all have similar calls to deal with: kitchen grease fires from frying turkeys, sprains in backyard games of football, people injuring one another because "did you hear what she said about our Emma/Francis/Kailey?". Buck is kept too busy to think, and it's nice having the time to catch up with Ravi, who's thinking of going to school to study law.
Their brothers and sisters in uniform also drop off dishes at the station, so between calls, they get pretty good food. Captain Graham gives them an hour offline after four consecutive calls. Buck collapses into a chair and serves himself pasta salad and a delicious honey baked ham, while his dinner rolls warm up in the oven.
He's scrolling through his phone, diligently avoiding the messaging apps, when a message preview pops up.
Tommy.
Buck almost drops his fork. He scrambles away from the dinner table, even though no one on C shift will try to take his phone from him, and finds a spot in the stairwell to read it.
Tommy: hope you have a good & safe Thanksgiving
As he's reading, another bubble appears and Buck's heart skips several beats, but this time it doesn't disappear. A second message arrives, followed by a third.
Tommy: don't know why I texted that
Tommy: guess I just wanted to say something to you
Tommy: you don't have to reply
Tommy: anyway. Happy holidays
Buck feels a slight loosening of the vice around his heart that has been there since that night. With a smile on his face, he types, deletes, types again.
Buck: happy Thanksgiving to you too
Buck: how many kitchen grease fires you got this year? We had 3
Tommy: you're working today?
Tommy: 4, but one of it was in the backyard
They're having a conversation. They're having an actual casual conversation, as easy as they used to on calmer shifts. Buck wants to cry. But he has to answer Tommy's question or have this conversation end too soon. Thinking about his options, he decides that he has nothing to lose anyway.
Buck: I didn't wanna sit around and smile and pretend I'm thankful for everything
Buck: it's better to keep busy
Tommy: I know that feeling
Tommy: I'm sorry
Buck: I'm sorry too
Buck: I wish we could've celebrated together
Buck: I would've said that I'm thankful for you
Tommy: I would have said that too
Tommy: I'm still thankful for you jsyk. I'll always be grateful to have got to know you
Does Tommy think he can't stay in Buck's life just because they broke up?
Buck: I don't think you know me well enough
Tommy: sorry
Buck wishes he'd run after Tommy that night, or done something since to show that he wants Tommy. Well, here's your chance, his brain reminds him. Do something.
He takes a deep breath. Then he types.
Buck: I want to meet. If I come over after Thanksgiving shift, will you please be home?
Tommy: is that a good idea
Buck: idk. But I can't stop thinking about you, and I miss you, and I wanna know what I did wrong. I wanna meet.
Tommy: I miss you too. You didn't do anything wrong, I just didn't want to... Idk. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much.
Buck: we need to talk in person. Texting is not good enough.
It isn't. He needs to see Tommy again. Tommy with his storm blue eyes and tender smile and broad shoulders and soft clothes. Tommy whose crinkly smile drives Buck a little (a lot) insane. Tommy whose lips he now knows the shape of by touch alone, whose body he has mapped out in detail, who knows how it feels to be inside Buck in the most intimate of ways.
He waits for a response. Hopes there will be one. It comes several minutes after, like Tommy had to really think about it.
Tommy: maybe not immediately after Thanksgiving shift
Tommy: are you off on Monday
The relief that crashes into Buck feels almost as overwhelming as the tsunami he was caught in years ago.
Buck: yes
Buck: your place this time
Buck: I'll bring cake
Tommy: you don't have to bribe me to open the door
Buck: no I just baked too much stuff is all. I'll explain when we meet
Buck: I'm really thankful you texted
Tommy: I'm thankful you replied
Tommy: have a good rest of the shift, Evan
It's Evan again. Buck can't hide his smile at all. Tucking his phone into his pocket, he goes back to dinner. Monday can't be here fast enough.
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I donât know how people keep coming up with the worst takes on things, but here we are.
You wanna be logical about this? Okay fine.
Jinx locked her in the cell. She canât get out. Even if she thinks sheâs going to commit suicide, thereâs nothing she can do about it. Sheâs locked in the cell. We donât know how long it is before Caitlyn shows up. Couldâve been hours. Thereâs a war about to happen. No amount of hunting for Jinx is going to stop that. She doesnât know where Jinxâs hideout is anyway. The chances of her FINDING her sister is slim to none now. Also, this is a prison. There are guards everywhere. Even if Jinx tries to leave, sheâs likely going to get caught again and just thrown back into another cell. And even if she escapes, the possibilities are extremely low Vi will ever be able to find her and⊠need I remind you⊠a war is on the way. Sheâs got maybe a few hours at best before it gets here and kills everyone. Sheâs betrayed Caitlynâs trust and lost her sister and sheâs stuck in the cell. Thereâs nothing left for her.
So when Caitlyn comes in and tells her she expected to find her there and informs her that no, actually, she let her sister go and didnât try to kill her or lock her back up and is letting go of the anger Jinx has had on her mind and that itâs okay that she tried to free her sister, Vi snaps. Because in that moment the ONLY person she has left is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn, the woman whoâs been trying to kill her sister and broke up with her because Vi wouldnât kill her sister, just informed her that sheâs letting her sister go free. Which at the end of the day is all Vi really wanted.
And frankly I donât think Vi really understands how devastated Jinx is. She comes in begging her sister to join up and fight and using her explosive potential to help out in the upcoming battle. Sheâs thinking of how this fight is going to get hundreds of people killed and sheâs trying to build her sister up. From her point of view Jinx just needs a hug and to be told sheâs special, because no matter how hard vi tries sheâs always going to see Jinx as Powder. And while she has good intentions, this is NOT what Jinx needs to hear right now. Jinx is grieving and Vi is begging her to blow more shit up.
I am SO FUCKING DONE with people like you going âoh logically why wouldnât she be trying to stop her sister from committing suicide? Why would she just fuck in a cell?! Itâs such awkward timing! What bad writing!â Because you guys never stop and think about the characterâs motivations.
YOU know jinx is suicidal. YOU know she is not doing well. But Vi doesnât. Vi is blinded by Powder. She still doesnât see Jinx or understand what Jinx has gone through. The idea that her sister is suicidal doesnât even cross her mind. That fight in the tomb? Just her being crazy again. Jinx being theatrical again. Nothing new.
Fucking hell⊠thatâs WHY Jinx locks her in the cell. Because even after everything theyâve gone through, she still sees her as powder. The âyouâre never going to give up on me are you?â line is Jinx realizing that Vi will never truly see her as Jinx. Thatâs WHY she locks Vi in the cell. Because Jinx needs to leave this endless cycle and let Vi be able to move on. Thatâs why she tells her she doesnât need to worry about her anymore or feel guilty and that she deserves to be happy with Caitlyn.
So yeah, they fuck in the cell because in that moment, Vi has lost everything. She doesnât know if Jinx is alive or dead, she doesnât know if she can find her before the war hits and potentially kills everyone and herself, and sheâs gone behind Caitlynâs back to release Jinx. Sheâs at her lowest point, with no time to do anything productive, and the girl of her dreams just informed her that itâs okay she betrayed her because sheâs so god damn predictable and thatâs something she loves about Vi, and that sheâs letting her hatred of Jinx go. This is Caitlyn confirming to Vi that is was okay for her to love her sister that much. The one thing Vi has been repeatedly told by everyone around her she canât do.
So this is VIâs emotions EXPLODING at the thought she still has one thing good left in her life. And she is going to take it NOW because this tension has been building and building for such a long time it NEEDS RELEASE. In that moment thereâs no logic. No thought to the real world or what could be. It is pure emotional INSTINCT. Caitlyn has offered herself up on a silver platter and she is going to EAT.
The amount of effort you guys put into trying to misunderstand the characters, the scenes, and the intention behind the dialogue is ASTOUNDING. You should be awarded a medal for being so mind numbingly REDUCTIVE in your âcriticisms.â
saw these comments on an edit on tt and they really made me stop and rethink for a second, especially the second comment ...
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane critical#arcane rant#violyn#sebian lex#arcane jinx#arcane vi
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honey | bob floyd x reader
Word Count: 13,800 Cross Posted on AO3 Warnings &Â Notes:Â 18+, AFAB!Reader, Succubus!Reader, Virgin!Bob. Shapeshifting, elements of magic, blood, parties, first-time blow jobs, cunnilingus, first-time sex, virginity loss, vague plot twists despite the severe lack of an actual plot. This was a crack warmup that just became...this Brief Summary: "Rich, hot, and a virgin. What's wrong with you?" Or, Bob's coworkers jokingly summon you, a succubus, to take his virginity, but everyone gets a lot more than they bargained for. You included.
Well...
This is new.
"It wasn't me! I promise!"Â
"Well, someone drew my symbol on the floor." Folding your arms in front of your chest, huffing. All that for this?
"It wasn'tâ" He freezes, teeth flashing through an awkwardly stretched smile. "I...my coworkers were playing a prank on me."
Lovely that you learn that after you've planted your ass in his lap. "So you don't want me here, pretty boy?"
Because he is cute. Floppy brown hair and the biggest blue eyes you've ever seen, hidden behind a pair of wireframes that perch on his freckled nose. His partner must be an incredibly happy person, having someone like this walking around their house.Â
"N-no!" He blurts. His face falls. "âwait! Well-well, I...uh, I...I don't wanna be rude, but I mean I-I..." Your index finger presses against his thin lips, silencing whatever he had left to say. If history is anything to go off of, you wouldn't have been able to understand what he's trying to tell you anyway.
But...well, you are stuck here, so you'd might as well ask. "What's your name?"Â
"Ro-Ro..." A short pink tongue darts out, wetting his lips. "Robert."Â
"Well, Bobby," you can't help but say it, a little too eager to watch the blush in his cheeks deepen. "It's a shame that you didn't. You're pretty cute."
Even in the dark, you can see how his face reddens, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows his words.Â
"But! I'll be on my way," lifting yourself from his lap before you can become too comfortable there. Something bumps into your ass; you think that may have been his cheek. "Do me a favor and tell your partner that they're a very lucky person, would ya?"
"Partner?" Squeaking.
Your feet freeze. There's no way he's... "Don't tell me you're single."
But Bob nods his head like it's the simplest confession he's ever made. "That's half of the reason why they went through the trouble of making you come here." He pauses, his left eye twitching as a thought visibly crosses his mind. Whatever it is, it's got him looking away from you entirely. "Said I'm...said I'm too old to be aâ"Â
"Wait, wait, wait." Holding your hands up. Need a moment of silence to understand what the hell you're hearing. "Your coworkers summoned a succubus to take your virginity?"
His lips flatten into a line. "...yeah."
"Well, that's shitty!" That's a new one. Finally, something to top the time a sorority summoned you to party with them for...some reason. Bragging rights, you think. "Do they pay you enough to put up with those assholes?"
It's been a minute since you've run into someone so nonchalant about a demonic creature standing in the room with them, never mind hold a casual conversation with you.Â
But here Bob is, shrugging his shoulders like this happens to him every Tuesday. "You learn to deal with it when you're paid a hundred sixty-thousand a year."
"So you're a rich virgin." It shoots out of your mouth before you realize the thought crossed your mind.
Again, Bob is too calm about this. "I...guess?"
"Rich, hot, and a virgin." Modifying your statement. "What's wrong with you?"
Those blue eyes widen. Blinking rapidly. "Huh?"
"Well, there's gotta be a reason why you don't have a line of people out the door." You say, crouching back down in front of him. Sure wish he'd let you do something about that tent in his pajama pants. "If it's not the looks that reel the ladies in, it's the charm, and if it's not the charm, it's the money. And you've got all three, pretty boy."
It's not supposed to be a serious topic, not as if you're about to go and write an article about his non-existent sex life to publish in the weekly paper. But this guy is actually thinking about it. His brows furrowing as he mulls over his thoughts, mouth parting, only to fall closed once more.Â
"I think it has something to do with the nature of my job and my severe inability to start a conversation," he concludes, with a little nod of his head.Â
You wonder if you could put him in your pocket and take him home.
Now that you think about it, you're pretty sure you're standing on some a ship right now. Is he some kind of cruise captain? "That'll do it."Â
Bob doesn't have anything else to say about that, awkwardly closing his legs before you can get another look at what he might be packing under there. Whether or not he caught you staring or he's just become aware of his current state, you're not sure. It's such a shame that someone else summoned you on his behalf; he would have been a fun one to toy with.
Hm.
"Do you wanna fuck with your coworkers before I leave?"
He blinks at you. Not a thought behind those eyes. "Huh?"
"Well, you've already got me here," an excited lilt in your voice, maybe a bit too eager to present your totally thought-out idea. "Believe it or not, I double as a poltergeist on Tuesdays and Thursdays."Â
Or whenever you feel like, really.Â
"That would be mean," shaking his head. What is he, some kind of saint?Â
"They just summoned a demon to fuck you in a locked room," deadpan.Â
For a moment, it's quiet, and then.
"...that's a fair point."
As it turns out, Bob lives on the world's shittiest cruise ship. A ship without a pool, a dimly lit cafeteria without a single Michelin-trained chef in sight. Long, narrow, colorless hallways. There aren't even individual rooms, just even smaller hallways stacked high with bunk beds. On the thinnest mattress you've ever seen, might you add.Â
Worst of all, rather than allowing personal clothes, everyone is dressed in clothing provided by the ship. Whoever picked the color schemes needs to be introduced to a fucking color wheel.Â
How do you trick the head of the United States Navy into summoning you? You have a few choice words about this place.Â
You appear in the mirror first. A little flash of your face, and then you're gone, nothing but a figment of the imagination. Again, later in the night, those two coworkers of Bobs have convinced themselves that they had made it up.Â
The plan was to end it there and to come back in the morning to turn it up a notch, but there's a chair sitting in the bunk room that's just so comfortable. So what if you lounge there all night, poking through a book Bob had on the foot of his bed? The room just dark enough to allow them to see your vague silhouette, air so quiet that every turn of the page seems to echo.
Not one of them sleeps, but Bob does, snoring away in his bottom bunk. He sounds like a little cat, tiny little noises that sound closer to grumbles than snores.
When morning comes, you show up in their showers right as they turn around. You appear on opposite ends of crowded rooms and in high-stakes meetings with fancy-dressed higher-ups just to get a reaction. Tapping on their shoulders when they think they're alone. Somehow, you managed to get away with swapping the labels on the mustard and hot mustard. Effectively ruined several breakfasts in one fell swoop.
One, this loud-mouthed blonde you forgot the name of, wakes up to you sitting on his chest. Who would have thought that he had such a shrill scream?
But you might take it too far when you chase them down the narrow hallwayâfive grown adults shrieking like they're in a haunted scream park and not a Navy ship.Â
Or at least, you thought you did.Â
"I can't-I can't believe you justâ!" Bob's laughing into his palms, keeling over with it. His mouth is moving, but he can't get anything out. Bubbly, loud giggles that travel around the tiny little fan room, bouncing off every corner.Â
"And here you said it would be too mean," gently mocking, unable to fight off the smile that works its way across your face. So big you can hardly speak through it.Â
That should technically be the last of your encounters.Â
You should be heading back through your portal and off on another job, but Bob doesn't utter the proper incantations to make that happen. He starts to, but then you ask about his book, and he squeaks at you for spoiling the ending, and then you begin to second guess if you're recalling it correctly.
Then the conversation starts, and suddenly, you've been bound to him for three weeks.Â
If it were anyone else, you'd complain and force the portal to open by yourself. There's more than one way to break the spell and go back to where you came from, but there's something about Bob Floyd that keeps you lingering. Maybe it's the way he blushes when you get too close. Maybe it's because you can't remember a time when someone kept you around solely because they liked talking to you.
Maybe it's because he has a fantastic taste in literature. Anything he's reading somehow becomes glued to your hands, unable to be put down until you've reached the final page.
"I can't believe nobody has gotten bold enough to comment on the strange figure reading a book in the corner every night," you giggle, nothing but a misty haze hovering over his head.Â
His lips curl into a smile, toothpaste spilling over as he fights not to bite his toothbrush. "I think they're afraid of another hallway incident."
"Are you afraid of another hallway incident?" Appearing in the mirror, if only to get your message across.
"Nah."Â
If you had known that the Admiral would be the final person you would get to scare before Bob left the ship, then you probably would have gone all out on it. But at the moment, all you're thinking about is how unfair and rude it was to pin Bob for the mistakes that his pilot made up in the air. The guy can't even fly a jet. How is it his fault that the pilot confused their lefts and rights?
So you show up in the mirror, jump on him, and spiral about the room in a foggy haze before rustling down the hallway in such a storm that it creates a draft. There seems to be a growing trend with men having high-pitched screams on this boat.
If Bob ever catches wind of the incident, he never brings it up.
Hell, maybe he thinks he's left you behind because he sure is surprised to turn around and find you sitting on his kitchen counter one morning.
"Did ya forget about me?"
"Please." Clenching at his heart. "Knock first."
Wordless, you tap your knuckles against the cool marble.Â
Knock.Â
Knock.Â
Knock.
Those pretty blue eyes roll, their color a little more vivid now that he's wearing that deep blue button-down, the sleeves pulled back just enough to reveal the thick muscle of his forearms. They're still swollen from his workout; you wonder if he knows you were watching.
"Got a hot date tonight?" Kicking your foot at him, brushing against his slacks. The last thing you're expecting is for his hand to wrap around your ankle, lightly squeezing, as if to test out the feeling.Â
"I got invited to a party and can't get out of it," he hums, letting your leg slip free of his grasp. Then, after a moment. "Wanna come?"
"You're inviting a demon to a party?" Slipping off the counter, batting your eyes at him.Â
All it takes is one step forward for him to stumble back, wide-eyed and stuttering. "Is that... am I not supposed to do that? I'm sorry."Â
"Hey, I never said no," your hands find their way to his chest, gently pushingâhis back thumps against the fridge. "What color do you like?"Â
"R-red?" That cute mouth of his wobbles, the slightest hint of facial hair coloring his upper lip. It'll be gone by five, but it's nice to see it for once.Â
Red it is.
You think this party was thrown by the same sorority who invited you up to party with them because this is...not what you were anticipating. Shot glasses, shitty beer, and flashing lights, the thump of the music so heavy that your bones really with it. You don't even know where the speakers are, lost to the swarm of people crammed into this tiny bar.
All of a sudden, your long, sultry dress has shed into a short little number that blends in with the rest of the crowd. You can't see him, but you can feel Bob's eyes jump onto your frame.Â
"How did you do that?" Tilting his head to the side like that will somehow help him find an answer to his question.Â
"Magic, I suppose," there's an actual explanation for it, but you've long since forgotten it. Something about manifestation and energy and a word too big for your tongue to pronounce. "I actually have zero idea how it works."
There's so much going on that you find yourself vanishing for a few minutes. Nothing but a misty haze lingering over Bob's head as one of his buddies shoves a drink into his hand and pushes him down into a cushioned chair. You haven't the slightest clue what kind of golden liquid is swishing around in that cup, but it's got a flavor that has Bob's nose wrinkling.
"Someone's not a drinker," observing aloud, a sudden presence in his lap, your knees caging his hips. Â
"Was it that obvious?" Sheepish, with that little sideways smile of his. Whether that's from admitting to his inability to drink alcohol or from where you've chosen to sit, you're not sure.Â
"Your little nose wrinkle gives you away," your little tap on his nose makes him blink. "You're almost a little too clean-cut for this place."Â
There's nothing special or different that he's done about his appearance, but the aesthetics of the crowd make it look like he's walked into the wrong party. A little bit too put together when you compare his ironed button-down and perfectly gelled hair to the half-drunk faces, trendy, cheap outfits, and that group of shirtless men over in the corner.
At least you have the luxury of changing clothing at the drop of a hat. Otherwise, you would be in the same boat.
"He said it was only gonna be a dozen of us," Bob lifts the glass to his lips once more, his nose twitching at the bitter flavor that greets his tongue. He's trying to hide his reaction, but you can still see the disgust in his eye.
"More like twelve dozen," plucking the glass from his hand, setting it on the little table next to the chair. "You could've convinced me this was a high-end frat party."
Looking around is enough to make you question if 'high-end' was just you being generous because this is looking more like an average party by the second. A myriad of nameless faces lost to the flash of the lights: red, blue, green, purple, yellow, a cycle that never loses its pattern. But even the strain it puts on your eyes isn't enough to distract from the sloppy grinding of bodies against each other, hands in the air, writhing to a beat that definitely does not match the music.Â
Something is starting to press against your inner thigh. An insistent pressure that almost feelsâ
Damn, how long have Bob's cheeks been bright red like that?
"Are you good?" Pressing the back of your hand against his forehead, clammy to the touch. "You're red as a balloon."
"Yep," his voice strained, so tight it may snap at the slightest hint of pressure. And he's looking over at the painting on the wall, one of those uninteresting things with only a few paint splatters to stain the pure white canvas. Not the kind of thing worth staring at so intently.
You shift forward, thumb swiping at the sweat beading at his templeâ
"You sure get hard easily." Teasing. You hadn't even been trying, but that's definitely a heavy bulge pressing into you, straining against the thin fabric of his slacks.Â
A muscle in his jaw flexes, swallowing hard. "Please don't say it out loud."
"I can fix that, you know." Perhaps curling your hand around his jaw is a little bit too bold, but he isn't making any moves to push you away or tell you to stop. "Some say I'm pretty good at that."
"No, no, that's okay," Bob shakes his head, gently dislodging your hand from his face. "I don't wanna make you do that."
"You're not making me do anything," leaning the slightest bit closer, tapping him on the chest with an index finger. "I'm volunteering. There's a difference."
He swallows again.
Someone calls out his name, waving a hand in the air as if to guide attention to himself as he emerges from the crowd, drink in hand, smile so big that it ought to blind someone. You vaguely recall seeing him back on the ship; name starts with an 'f'.
...shame that you don't remember anything more than that.
But Bob is uttering some Navy jargon that you don't have the capacity to keep up with, and your knees are starting to hurt, skin stuck to the cheap leather cushion. It's much easier to turn yourself around, back leaning against his chest, now free to scan over and watch the part of the room you couldn't see before.Â
It's not that you don't feel him pressing into the curve of your ass; you just...well, you kind of forget about it. The moment you lay eyes on the game of beer pong happening behind the pool table, you're invested. Straining your neck to try and get a better look at who is winning, crossing two fingers as a lady in a little white skirt goes up against a guy who looks two beers away from a total blackout.Â
Neither of them are good at it. Far from it, actually, but the girl's friends are cheering her on, and the man has missed the cup thrice now, stumbling over his own two feet. He misses. She scores two. He gets another point while she's trying to catch a ball that has rolled off into her crowd of friends.
You don't realize you've been squirming until Bob's forehead thunks against your back, shoulders rising with his inhale.Â
"Where did your buddy go?" Chirping in the lightest tone you can muster. As if you're blissfully unaware of what's going on.
"Maybe we should get up," entirely evading your question.
It's a worthy idea that goes down the drain within the same minute it's suggested. What you couldn't see from the couch was how big the crowd actually is. It's a swarm that swallows you whole, someone's shoving into your back, and Bob's stumbling into you, and it's all you can do not to explode into a plume of mist.Â
You're only distantly aware of his arm curling around you, cinching you to him as if to anchor you in before the storm can wash you away. Your leg slotting between his is far from intentional. But it happens, and you're nose to nose with him, and the corner of his eye is twitching, and you swear you can hear a dam breaking.
You don't entirely know how you wind up here. Squeezing into this sorry excuse of a bathroom stall, your hands greedily dipping beneath his shirt, chest to chest. Every little meet of your lips has him gasping against you. His tongue tastes like the honey biscuit he was nibbling on earlier, the one that dripped on his shirt and left little white crumbs all over his lap.
You could eat him.
"We shouldn't..." He's whispering. A secret meant for your ears only.
Everything screeches to a halt. "Do you wanna stop?"
Shaking his head. "No."Â
He makes it so damn easy. Legs parted just enough to allow your thigh to slot between them, immediately squeezes down around it the moment he recognizes it's there, drawing you right up intoâ
A shiver wracks through him. So intense that you can feel it.
You don't need to worry about taunting him. He's reacting as if you've already made a remark. Nose scrunching as he tries to steel his face, warding off the softness that once lingered there, taken aback by the sudden pressure between his legs. Such a strong front. Shame that it folds the moment your hand curls against the bulge in his slacks.
"You're bad at this," a teasing lilt in your tone, lazily working your hand against him. No real rhythm or method to it, simply a shifting pressure that you can already feel his hips beginning to follow.Â
"It's been a while," muttered like a confessionâa sin of the past.
Now that has your attention. "You've done this before?"Â
The bathroom door squeals open, the handle cracking against the tile so hard that some of it tears off the wall entirely, shards of ceramic scattering across the floor. A chunk of it rolls under the stall on a one-way track to strike the side of your shoe. You don't recognize the too-loud voices that enter the room, but Bob seems to, eyes rolling for a fraction of a moment.Â
"Something similar...once," hardly audible over whatever the hell is being discussed by the sinks.Â
You'll have to get the full story out of him when there aren't extra ears lurking mere feet away. Right now, though, you're tugging at his zipper, yanking it down as far as it will go, your hand darting through the gap.Â
Good lord.
It's always the quiet ones.
"I'm surprised you can get through security with this thing," there's so much of him that you've got to use your other hand, fumbling to pop open his button.Â
"With what?" Bob's brow furrows. You lightly squeeze the base of him. "...oh."Â
One of the men shouts. Two laughs chime after it in hot pursuit.
There's a considerable weight to him that you hadn't anticipated until just now, his pretty, flushed cock throbbing in your hand. Muscle memory kicks into gear without much thought, gradually gliding up from his base to his tipâruby red, almost angry in appearance, such a sharp contrast to your fingers.
His hips follow your motions, subtle little backs and forths that you nearly miss at first, keen on chasing your touch but too shy to allow himself to do it. Teeth sink into his bottom lip, pressing so hard that they leave an indent behind. Breathing hard through his nose, eyes screwing shut like he's fighting something back.Â
You know what he's doing. Can't let a single noise escape for fear of it reaching the other ears in the room, but there's no way they can. Not with all that racket they're making.Â
It's fifty-fifty if you still remember how to interrupt electricity, your one sure-fire method of making sure nobody can see what you're doing, but there's only one way to find out.Â
Getting on your knees in a bathroom stall might be a new one for you, but here you are, blindly sinking lower and lower. Can't quite see what you're doing, your eyes hopelessly locked on Bob Floyd and his pink cheeks. Hasn't even realized what you're doing yet.
There's probably a good minute or two where you just hover there, waiting for the moment he realizes that you've moved. Eye-level with his cock, lazily thumbing each and every bead of precum across his plush head, a little routine to decorate the loose up-and-down of your hand. But his eyelids remain closed, and you're just so damn impatient.
The greet of your tongue has him jumping up onto his tiptoes. His head smacking into the flimsy stall wall.Â
"What was that?"Â
It's as if the room has morphed into a library. Complete, utter silence. Nothing but the faint breaths of the men gathered outside of the stall, Bob's, and your own. From the gap, you can see a black and yellow shoe taking a step forward. Silently inching closer.
The whites of Bob's eyes are so big that you can hardly see the color that decorates them. Drowned out and lost to a wave of fear that you can feel prickling through his body. If only those stupid yellow shoes would turn around and walk away; you wanted to play this card a little bit longer.Â
The bathroom plunges into darkness.Â
So you do still remember how to do that.
Someone screams. You're not sure who, but it was far too high-pitched to be the man right in front of you. Maybe it was the loser with the yellow shoes. Audibly stomping across the tile floor, shouting at each other as they fight for the door. The hinge squeals. Someone accidentally kicks the corner of it on their way out.Â
And then it swings closed. The room falling quiet as the sliver of light peeking through the gap disappears entirely.Â
Your mouth opens, gently drawing Bob into your mouth. Thicker than what you anticipated, uncomfortably stretching your lips around his head, but it's only a slight inconvenience. You can hardly think about it. Especially not when flicking the tip of your tongue across his slit elicits that sort of noise. Pitchy and drawn out, slipping out of him before he can stop it.
"That'sâ" his palm finds its way to your forehead. Pushes lightly. Jerks away. Lands on the side of your cheek instead. "A lot."Â
You have very different definitions of 'a lot'.
You're actually moving rather slowly, gradually working your way down his length. He's only just beginning to touch the back of your throat, but Bob sucks in a sharp gasp of air as if you've just sprung this on him. You'd complain if he didn't taste so sweet. Just can't help but take him as far as he'll go, the tip of your nose kissing the cold metal of his zipper, throat so full of him that your head spins.Â
He's trying to say something. Little fragments of words that might or might not be your name. Breaking apart the moment they fall into his mouth, shattered pieces raining down upon you and your eager ears.Â
Maybe you're too quick about this. A fraction too eager to draw all the way back, only to fall upon him once more, lazily letting yourself gag around him if only to hear him groan low in his throat and to feel his thighs shudder beneath your palms.Â
"I'mâI'm already, I..." Bobby's panting. Pawing at the side of your face. Doesn't know if he wants to pry you off or push your head back down.Â
You expected this. You knew he would be a little bit quick, but all of a sudden, he's twitching in your mouth, a rope of cum decorating your tongue and...
Honey.
Why does he taste like honey?Â
It feels like a fluke at first. Has you drawing all the way back, sucking gently on his spasming tip, but it doesn't change. Overwhelmingly sweet and thick on your tongue. It doesn't...since when did human men taste like this? Good lord, what took you so long to find one like this?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Bob's abruptly pulling out of your mouth with a sharp 'pop,' the toilet paper roll audibly spinning as he grabs at it.Â
The overhead light flickers back on. Damn near blinding. You nearly miss the shade of cherry decorating his cheeks.Â
"Has anyone ever told you that you taste like honey?"Â
"You can't be serious."
"No, something's gotta be wrong. I've picked something up somewhere," Bob doesn't seem to realize that he's started pacing again, striding back and forth across the room. "That doesn't...it shouldn't taste like honey!"
Your leg kicks off the edge of the exam table, taping him on the hip as he drifts past. "And what? You think a mystery STD will?"
"Maybe there's one I'm not considering," he stops dead in his tracks, looking you dead in the eye. "You should get tested too."
"Hard to catch a human virus if you aren't human," dragging your foot up the side of his thigh, "maybe it's just a succubus thing."
Bob's hand curls around your ankle, bringing it to rest comfortably against the side of his hip. "Huh?"
"I mean, like...maybe I taste it differently based on how much I like the person?" You're already grasping at straws as it is, but it's so hard to think when Bob is rubbing the back of your ankle like that. Diligent fingers pressing into strained muscle, drawing the tension away with every loose spiral.
"No," shaking his head as if to add emphasis to an already firm word. "I don't...no, that wouldn't make sense."Â
That was your one and only theory, but, well, if he insists. "Alright, honey cum."
"Please, don't."
You're gone by the time the doctor decides to come back. Doesn't have a whole lot to say, but a few weeks later, there's a neatly folded paper on the counter with a whole bunch of negatives on it.Â
Bob catches you looking at them, but he doesn't have anything to say about it. He's more intrigued by your appearance than anything else, brushing the pads of his fingers against one of your horns as he drifts past.
"Have you always had these?" He chirps, on a one-way track back to his coffee maker. His poor heart might stop if he pours himself anymore, but that doesn't seem to be stopping him.
"Technically, yes," it's a lazy reply, but you're not sure what else to say. "I didn't think to hide them today. What is that, your third cup of coffee today?"Â
"Fifth," he corrects, unashamed about finishing off the pot. There's just enough left to fill his mug to the rim and then some. How he doesn't spill it, you'll never know. "Do all demons have horns?"
"Depends on the race, really," shrugging. "Succubi have short, narrow horns with vibrant colors, crossroad demons have horns similar to a Texas Longhorn, fallen angels don't have any at all..." You could keep going, but you would be talking for a long, long time.
You probably shouldn't be lingering around Bob's apartment, invisible to the naked eye as you lounge in the soft red couch and gaze out the window at every rise and fall of the sun. He seems to know that you're still here; hums something that sounds like your name when the cushion sinks beneath your weight.Â
It's a cute apartment, really. A thrifted coffee table and an oversized bookcase that has already run out of room, excess books spilling over onto the shelves that were once reserved for figurines, and clever callbacks to movies.Â
There's a stash of DVDs lurking inside of the TV stand, and in the ottoman, a pair of signed and framed Star Wars posters decorating the hallway. He thinks that he's spread out the anime enough to pass undetected, but you can clearly see the manga lurking in the smaller bookcase in his bedroom. There's a Naruto sticker hiding on the side of the fridge, a Pokemon in the bathroom cabinet, and so far, you have counted four Trigun figurines.Â
Five, if you include the one you just watched him unwrap and place next to his model jet. This one kind of looks like him...
"Are you still in here?" Bob calls out from somewhere on the other side of the apartment. It might be the first time you've heard his voice rise above a mutter since he left the doctor's office.Â
You're not entirely sure where he is. Haven't exactly moved from the couch now that the sun has fallen again, blankly gazing at the distant ocean as if it's a home you once knew like the back of your hand.Â
He appears in the hallway. Fiddling with the edge of his t-shirt, his eyes squinting as he tries to scan the room without his glasses. You're still waiting for him to realize that he left them next to the stove again.
"Come out?" He tries again, ambling forward. "Please?"Â
"Looking to terrorize your boss again?" Dissolving into solidity, the chilly air nipping unpleasantly at your skin. Invisible was better. You couldn't feel the temperature when you didn't have a body.Â
Or...maybe you're feeling the temperature incorrectly because Bob looks like a shrimp mid-boil. Red in the cheeks, so flushed that it crawls down into his neck, and the sliver of chest showing through the collar of his shirt.Â
"Bob?" Tilting your head to the side.Â
"I wanna return the favor." Deadpan.
Blink.
Blink again.
Blink one more time.
You don't follow. "Pardon?"
"I mean, I..." his eyes skip around the room. Bouncing off of the coffee table to the poster behind your head, the miscellaneous figurine shelf, and the refrigerator. "You did something for me, and I...don't...like the idea of it being so one-sided?"
"Bob, I'm a succubus," there's supposed to be an underlying hint there because this is kind of the very reason for your existence, but Bob doesn't seem to pick up on that. Or maybe he does and just doesn't react. "Do you even know how?"
A beat passes.Â
His head shakes. No.
"I'm a quick learner?" Offering it up like he's bartering. You wonder if you can get him to start offering crops and livestock. "Is that...okay?"Â
You're not sure if it's the novelty of the idea or if it's because of that soft, doe-eyed expression he nails you with, but something has you agreeing to it. But just because you're on the same page together doesn't mean you'll be the very next sentence that he reads.Â
You're gone the moment he's in front of you.Â
"Where did youâ"
"But you'll have to catch me first." Reappearing behind him. Walking your fingers up his spine.Â
He turns.Â
You're gone. Drifting behind his back again. Blowing at his nape.Â
"Hey!" He squeals. So shrill and pitchy that it nearly throws you off. Only manage to dissolve into a plume of mist when he reaches for you.Â
Bob is already spinning around. Blocks you from getting to his back again. And there must be some kind of 'tell' of where you are because his eyes follow you every which way. You'd might as well be fully human because this isn't working.Â
You don't know how you get into the kitchen. But you're on one side, and Bob is on the other before you've even become solid. You stumble three steps to the right; he's already there. You go left. But then he goes left. You dart rightâcorner to corner to corner. Shit, you've put yourself in a corner. Either way you have to get past him.Â
"Why are you so damn quick?" Giggling. Your feet slide against the hardwood. Not as fast as him. This will only last so long.
"Did you forget." He jumps left. "I'm in." Right. "The Navy?" Left again.
"I thought that meant you would be good at swimming!" You're slipping. Grabbing at the countertop before you can hit the floor. "Notâthis!"
He breaks the pattern first. Shoots around the corner so quickly that you nearly don't have time to spin back around. His fingertips graze your back as you turn. You're tearing off around the corner. Dissolving bit-by-bit andâ
There's a pressure around your waist, and the room is spinning, and you don't remember when or how your feet left the ground.Â
"Bobby!" You're squealing, throwing your arms around his shoulders before you can slip.Â
It's hard telling when or how things escalate the way that they do. All you remember is the coldness of the floor as he sets you back down, the heat of his arms around you, and the bump of his nose against your cheek. And melting. Fuck, you remember melting into him like snowflakes in July, meeting him halfway, his soft lips melding with yours so easily.Â
You do remember when you fall against the couch. Nothing but ruby red cushions and the lingering pink in Bobby's cheeks, settling between your legs with such ease that you almost wonder if you've done this with him before.Â
Christ, he could probably convince you that you've already had a few nights together.Â
There's no reason why or how he should know that you're sensitive beneath your ear, mouthing at the skin there but never making a move to mottle it with bruises. Respectful. Irritatingly so. Never leaving behind a mark, not even when he bites at the collar of your shirt and grazes the skin that lurks beneath.
He wasn't lying when he said he was a quick learner. Is he sure that he's never done this before? Because he gets your lounge shorts off surprisingly easily. His waist dipping between your thighs, swollen lips finding your lower belly once more, working down, down, down...
"Shit," his tongue has you jolting, entirely caught off guard. "A little sudden there."
It's hard to feel any sort of annoyance when he peeks up at you from beneath his lashes, tongue hanging out of his mouth like a dog. "'m sorry."
Your hand curls into the back of his hair, a fraction longer than it was when his so-called friends summoned you right into his lap. Only takes the slightest pressure for him to dip his head back down, licking a slow stripe against you. He misses your clit on the first try, pulls away a little too soon. But he finds it on the second, visibly perks at your sharp inhale, and retraces his steps until you do it again.
Learning should imply that he doesn't know what he's doing beforehand. You're gonna need to steal his dictionary off the shelf and look up the proper definition because you're pretty sure he was lying.Â
There's no damn reason why he should know how to point his tongue and trace it around your clit, teasing until your hips lift off the mattress. Temporary relief comes in the form of the hum that rumbles out of him, vibrating through your nerves like electricity. He's settling into it now, laying flat on his belly, arms curled around your thighs as ifhe belongs there.
Fuck, and he's working his way down. Pressing lazy, open-mouthed kisses into your dripping pussy, stopping to lap at your entrance before pressing inside. His tongue isn't even all that long, but the wet heat and the tip of his nose pressing against your clit yanks a gasp out of your throat, eyes snapping shut.Â
Your thigh squishes against his cheek, leg looping lazily over his shoulder as if that could somehow possibly bring him closer. Fingers twist in his hair, nails scraping across his scalpâ
"What the hell?" Your own voice sounds foreign. Detached from your body.
Bob lifts his head, and good lord, his lips are glistening. "Hm?"
"What is this little bump on your head?" Tapping your nail against it, uniquely bony compared to the rest of his scalp. Feels like a perfect circle.
"I don't know what they are," nonchalant, already dipping back between your legs, "'ve had 'em since I was born."
You can see them when you push his hair out of the way, little indentations beneath the skin, solid as can be. One on each side, a few inches above his ears. These kind of look like...
No, that's not right.Â
That sweet tongue of his finds you again. Drawing lazy shapes that transform into shock waves on impact, rumbling up your spine and down into your fluttering thighs. Letters. He's drawing letters, and you can hardly decipher what they are, but the voice in the back of your head whispers that he's writing is name into your cunt. Over and over until he's certain that you'll never find pleasure in a name that isn't his.Â
"Bobby, I..."
He hums, hands curling around your hips, pulling you in. Doesn't let go of that same lazy pace that he just set for himself, curling through an 'R' and into an 'O' so intoxicating that you find your own mouth mimicking it, too. You don't mean to cum so soon. You really don't, but your eyes unintentionally lock with his, that tiny smile curling the corners of them, and shitâ
Your back twitches up off the bed. Crying out so sharply that it rips right out of your throat. Your head might just tumble off your shoulders. Floating up into the clouds, heaven-bound. Weightless.Â
The hands on your hips tighten. Anchoring you back down. Bob's burning tongue working you through it like he's done it a hundred times until your body is tensing and jerking away from every little lick.
"Jesus," sucking in a breath, "Christ."Â
Bob lifts his head, swollen lips twisting into a cheesy grin. "Wrong name."Â
"Nerd," tapping him on the nose.
"Demon," biting the inside of your thigh.Â
It's hard telling who sputters into a laugh first. Giggling like school kids as he climbs up the bed, his mouth clumsily finding its way to yours. It's so much easier to hold his face when his glasses aren't in the way; don't have to worry about smudging a lense or accidentally knocking them off his face entirely.Â
If you thought that you were bad, then Bob Floyd is another monster entirely because once he's gotten a taste of you, he can't get enough.Â
Because he's on you again in the morning, kissing at your shoulder and working his way down your naked belly before his final alarm goes off and forces him to start getting ready for work. His sweet tongue working over your clit, chasing down a vastly different zig-zag pattern as he eases a thick, curious finger into you. Lazily searches for a little spot that steals your breath away and has you babbling for another.
In the evening, he's nibbling and kissing at your thighs while you wait for the pizza delivery guy is on his way. Leaves behind sporadic little marks that gradually acquire a delicious tenderness that makes you gasp when you try to cross your legs later.Â
You answer to the sound of your name on an average Tuesday afternoon. An unapproved presence in a top-security Naval building, perched up on the edge of a locker room bench like you belong there. Like you, too, are a pilot with a willingness to perform and just the right amount of crazy flowing through your veins.Â
Bob doesn't utter a word about it, but you know that one of his superiors has chewed him out again because his cheeks are pale as can be, eyes only softening at the sight of you appearing before him. And maybe he's a little bit too eager to fall to his knees, peppering your skin with kisses that make their way to where you crave them the most.Â
Again and again. An addict who seems to need his fix every time he's overwhelmed. It's your purpose, the very thing you were built for, but the invisible string that draws you into him is unlike any other you've been wrapped up in before. An undescribable something-else lurking behind the charm of those wireframes and his warm, dizzying voice. Never asks for anything in return, all too content with eating you alive.
Your favorite might be the night that he pulls a muscle in his shoulder blade. One little misstep in the gym is all it takes for a night and a half of overwhelming soreness, binding him flat on his back, minding his left side. But even the mix of ibuprofen, Tylenol, and a dash of pain isn't enough to keep him grounded.
"I have an idea." It's been forever since you last heard him speak. The last time you recall hearing his voice was last night when he asked you to pass him his toothbrush.
"Uh oh," not in any particular hurry to lift your head from his chest, naked and oh so warm to the touch.Â
"What?" He's trying to act offended, but the attempt dies mid-air. Won't be making a living in acting any time soon, that's for sure.Â
Tapping your finger on his collarbone, overtop a thin white scar you've yet to learn the story of. "Don't 'what'Â me."Â
His laugh sounds like thunder. Deep and rumbling into your ears, a tune you didn't know you craved until just now.Â
A familiar warmth settles against your cheek, diligent fingers tracing the edge of your jaw. "What if I told you I had another idea?"
One of these days, you'll learn to quit being surprised.Â
Today, you're shocked that he asked you to ride his face.Â
Shit, but here you are. Knees precariously resting above his head. Trying your best not to let your thighs clamp down around his face as he dips his tongue between your folds, half-lidded gaze fixated on your expression. You've long since lost count of how many times you've felt this. The soft whisps of his short hair tickling your skin, the way he hums when he hears you gasp.
"You've got," raking your fingers against his scalp, anything to distract from the calculated zig-zag across your clit, "a problem."Â
"Maybe that's what's wrong with me," muffled. His every word rumbling through your core and reaching up into your chest.Â
"Yeah, well..." drinking in a shuddered breath, "you being addicted to eating me out was not on that list."
It's his fault for laughing again. Should have known that the vibration would have twisted into your nerves and sent them firing, thighs impulsively clamping down around his head with no regard for him or breathing.Â
Fuck, it takes a moment to remember how to move them again.Â
"I'm sorry," and you're about to lift yourself up, let him get a full breath of air, but his hands find your hips, anchoring you into place.Â
"'s okay," pausing to lap at your clit, wet and messy, and god, the sound. "I don't mind."
He'd say that if you accidentally suffocated him to death, too.
Your nails drift across his scalp. Dragging just enough to feel the shift of hair beneath your fingertips, disturbing the hardened bump lurking just a few inches above his ear. You know that it's probably because of the swelling, but you swear it feels bigger than it did a few days ago. And maybe it's sensitive too because, for the briefest moment, you catch the whisp of a gasp. A sharp little intake of air punctuating the way he drifts down to toy with your entrance.Â
They're worse the following morning.
He's only just beginning to settle between your legs, diligently kissing down the inside of your thigh, when the brush of your knee sends him reeling. Pawing at the sides of his head. Wincing. Yelping at his own touch.
"Did Iâ"
"No!" He blurts. Pitchy. "I'm sorry, it's, Iâit hurts."
Even the delicate pressure of an ice pack is too much for him to tolerate, hissing like a cat the moment the material touches his skin. You're not entirely sure what to make of them. Dissolving into the air around him for a better view, drifting around his head, twisting every which way as if discovering the perfect angle will reveal the secret.
It doesn't...look infected. Strained is the best descriptor you can come up with. As if something is trying to claw its way out from beneath the skin.Â
"And you said you've had these since you were born?" Musing aloud, resisting the urge to reach out and touch them.
Hands find your waist as you settle into your human shape once more. "That's what I'm told." Then, tilting his head to look up at you, not making any move to get out of his chair. "Why, what did you see?"
"The same thing you're seeing," you can't help but push his hair back, watching the short strands gradually slip free from your fingers. "Must be a really odd birth defect."
He hums, blinking up at you without a word, perhaps not as concerned about his situation as he should be. Not a trace of worry clouding his features, though the corner of his eye twitches when you unintentionally drift over one of the bumps.Â
It's the same kind of gaze that gets you into trouble three nights later.Â
He doesn't seem to realize that he's doing it, drowning you in pools of ocean blue every time he looks your way. You don't understand how you make it through the night. He's just so damn distracting. Tapping his foot against yours beneath the table, legs tangling as a nameless mid-forties man in a fancy suit rambles on about the honor of working in the Navy and things you don't care to follow.Â
You don't know how you get to the hotel bed. Only vaguely aware of the sensation of your feet leaving the ground, thighs clinging to the sharp bone of his hips. One of his hands is on your ass, and the other is smoothing up your back. Presses just hard enough to have you arching, chests bumping together hard enough to break your kiss.
"Bobbyâ"
"I know."
The room collapses into a world of pristine white cloudsâor maybe you've just fallen onto the bed. You can't tell for sure. Can't be bothered to. Not when a familiar pressure appears against your lips, his firm body settling between your legs with a weight you can't possibly ignore.Â
He tastes like the hot chocolate they poured into his cup when he turned down the champagne. Sweet and so warm that you can feel yourself melting, and you must be made of chocolate, too, because he moves as if he's going to eat you alive. Hands rising to cradle your face, settling into a lingering liplock that has you gasping for air.
Your head is spinning. One hand curling around his bicep. The other smoothing up the side of his burning neck. Hardly aware of how your hips lift up from the mattress, but all too aware of him meeting you in the middle. A new pressure forms between your legs. The not-so-subtle bump of a growing bulge against your cunt.Â
Curse the layers of fabric separating you from each other. Can't do anything but meet him halfway. Mewling into his mouth like a cat in heat. Legs curling around his hips. The heels of your ankles digging into his ass, urging him closer, closer, closer.
Something trickles across your fingers. Smearing across his neck.Â
"What is that?" It's sliding down your palm, scurrying past your wrist and beyond. Water? No, where would it have come from...
Bob draws away, an unusual chill filling the space he once occupied. "What is what?"Â
Your hand is crimson.Â
Why is your hand...?
"Oh my god." Reeling back. Hands held high as if that can possibly stop the blood that drips from your fingertips, so fresh that you can still feel the warmth of it.Â
It's everywhere. Staining the fresh sheets, smeared across the back of Bob's neck, pooling at the shoulders of a brand new uniform that will never be the same again. It's on the shell of his ear and in his hair andâ
"Oh my god," you sound like a broken record, but it's all you can say. "Bobby, your head."
Looking back on it, you're thankful Bob booked a room with two beds instead of one.Â
There's no salvaging or rectifying the utter disaster going on in the bed that he claimed as his when you first got here. The sheets and comforter torn clean off, lying in a messy pile, waiting for the front desk to call back and tell you what to do with them. From here, they look perfectly fine, still the same shade of pure white, as if nothing has ever happened.Â
Your attention meanders across the floor, tracing the lines of geometric shapes, following them on their journey between the beds until they disappear beneath the mattress. Bob's foot still hangs off the edge, a smidge too lazy to try and readjust himself now that he's found home here on your chest.
It's almost strange being here. Snuggling on a hotel bed with a man who didn't even summon you wasn't on the job description. Hell, the last time you even set foot in a place like this was probably years before you realized what you were and fully committed to the whole demonic entity thing.Â
"Why don't you ever leave?" Bob's voice rumbles into your collar, a smidge deeper than it was the last time you heard it.Â
"You never said you were satisfied with me," darting from your mouth before you can realize what you're about to say. A script so rehearsed that your tongue needs no instruction to utter it.
The room is quieter than it was before.
Which...is odd because nothing about it has changed. The cheap air conditioner still rattles to its own mechanic tune. You can still hear the girl talking on the phone in the hallway. Through the wall behind your head, the neighbor's television still plays the rerun of what sounds like a football game.Â
Bob's eyes are open. Can feel the flutter of his lashes against the side of your neck. If you didn't know any better, you would mistake it for the dustings of tiny butterfly wings.
But he doesn't say anything.Â
"I'm sorry, I...that may have come out the wrong way."
"'s okay." Says it so quickly that you wonder if he's listened to your apology at all.Â
Antsy, you reach for his hair, fingers coming through the still-damp locks. A little bit fried after two full washes, but it was the necessary sacrifice to get all of that blood out.Â
You've got to crane your neck to see the culprit, but it's still there, in the same state it was the last time you laid eyes on it. Scabbed over. No longer as swollen as it once was, but there's still something solid lurking beneath the surface. You could have sworn you saw a flash of white in there before it had closed up again, but looking at it now, there's nothing.Â
"I think I just like being around you," concluding, after a long moment.Â
'Like'Â may be an understatement, but...
The corner of his mouth is turning upward. You know it is because you can feel it against your chest. "I like being around you, too."
And here you thought you'd figured out what Robert Floyd defines as a party.Â
Bubbling glasses of golden champagne, the same shade of the delicate chandelier sparkling overhead, crystals cascading down like a spiral staircase. Enchanting. Beginning three stories up and only ending mere feet away from where you stand, you could probably touch it if you tried.Â
Such a stark contrast to the midnight peeking through the windows, twinkling city lights of every color in the rainbow drowned out by the blinding white and gold palette you've found yourself in. Unfamiliar faces and dresses worth more than a car fresh off the lot, wrapped up in the whimsical tune of a live orchestra off to your left.
So many things to look at. Luxury desserts and vivid red couches cozied up beside the fire. There's more to be discovered, entire rooms you have yet to venture into, a custom theater, a cocktail bar...yet, your eyes continue to drift to the only familiar thing here.
And his appear to do the same.
Locking from opposite sides of the room, the buzz of the crowd melting into a distant hum, as if you've just plunged into the very crystal oceans that color his irises. The heat of his gaze is the only thing keeping your head above water, burning across every inch of your skin. It's a wonder you don't go up in flames right here and now.
Glass shatters somewhere to your left. A lady yelps. Someone swears. But you can't bring yourself to look to see what just happened. Captured in a never-ending trance as you move about the room, only able to look away for milliseconds at a time.Â
One of Bob's friends are talking to him, mouth moving a mile a minute, but Bob doesn't seem to be listeningâFireball or...something. The name should come to you easier than it does. Bob's told you so many stories of them together, but you fear you've spent too much time lingering on the sound of his voice to actually store and remember the fine details.Â
The music swells.Â
Heads turn toward the melody, and with it, feet begin to move. It's as if one-half of the party has vanished, opening up the floor enough for you to walk without worry of bumping into anyone. You wouldn't even be in this position if filtering through different forms was socially acceptable and not the quickest way to give someone a heart attack.Â
It's like drawing too close to a fire, the flames so bright that you can hardly look at them without being blinded. Except the flames are the open buttons at the very top of his long sleeve, milky white skin peeking through the gap. He's grown a bit since this was fitted, the fabric hugging a little too tightly around his chest, straining already weakened seams. Two of the buttons have already snapped off, unveiling more than he would ever willingly show off.Â
He would catch your staring if he weren't already doing the same damn thing. Knows he's been caught, too, cheeks dusting a cherry red the moment he tears his attention away from the slit in your dress, showing off your upper thigh.Â
But Fanbase is still talking, rambling on about the subplot of a movie that you've yet to see, and you're simply not interested enough to linger any longer than you have to. Gliding past Bobby as if you hadn't just made eye contact with him, your hand trailing up the side of his arm on your way past.Â
The door couldn't come quickly enough, and you disappear through it with nothing more than a wayward glance over your shoulder.
He's still looking at you.Â
It's so much quieter in the hallway, all that noise and music vanishing the moment the door swings shut behind you. You're not sure where you're going; didn't plan this far ahead, but you can already see a floor-to-ceiling window that looks interesting enough. A decorative fountain rests in front of it, the water sparkling with the city lights.
The view is better at night. Still breathtaking during the day, but...god, something about the velvet black and twinkling shades of neon really bring out the charm of a city like this. Though you've still yet to figure out why a Navy event is all the way up here, in the tallest building they could find. One of their own venues would have sufficed; then they wouldn't have had to rent all these hotel rooms.Â
"Your dress looks awful familiar." Maybe Bob is hiding magic powers of his own because there's no way he could have snuck up on you without floating here.
But there he is. Shoulder resting against the wall, arms folded over his chest. The rolled sleeves are struggling with his forearms, fabric so tight that the threads silently scream.Â
"Does it?" Coy. You entirely stole this idea from the front cover of the magazine he had sitting on the kitchen counter.Â
You don't mean to step forward at the same time he does, but you do. Nose to nose in the blink of an eye, so close that your vision goes a little blurry and out of focus.Â
A door slams down the hall.
The invisible string snaps.
Your hands are in his hair, and his are on your waist, and mouths are clattering with all the grace and elegance of a car crash. The back of your leg hits the fountain. Sends the thing jumping as you all but slam into the window. It's a wonder you don't go crashing through it, plummeting through miles upon miles of midnight neons.Â
Because it certainly feels like you did.Â
Head spinning as if you're in a free fall. Fingers twisting in his hair before unspoken forces can peel you away, sloppily falling into tune with the bold dance of his lips. Fuck, it's so much more than what you've spent the past fifteen minutes picturing in your head. He tastes like cola and honey, so dizzyingly sweet that a sugar rush buzzes through your veins.
What is it with you and this human?Â
It's as if you're one half of a magnet, hopelessly bound to him by forces that you can't quite identify. Yielding to the subtle pressure of his hands, allowing him to gather you into his chest as if you aren't close enough as it is. Heaven, Hell, and Earth could collapse right here and now, and it still wouldn't be enough to drive a wedge between you.Â
"And here I thought you weren't the PDA type," that thought was supposed to stay in your head, but it's far too late to do anything about it.
"I think this is a little beyond PDA," Bob's mouth twists into a smile too soon. Teeth smash together with a sound that makes you wince.Â
There are voices down the hallway, familiar, but you don't care to try and identify them. Whoever they are, they don't get a chance to see you here because Bob's taking hold of your wrist, and you're falling into the clumsiest run imaginable. Arms awkwardly tangling together. His boots too new to grip the floor. Giggling to yourselves as you slide to the right, fighting to get around the corner before he can be recognized.Â
You're already crashing into each other again. And again. And again. Stealing kisses as if you need one for every few steps taken. Can't function otherwise. Winding through the hall, no regard for where you're going or if it's even the right direction, barging through a door and racing up the stairs. You trip on one. Bob falls on his ass on another.
It's a damn wonder how you find the correct door.Â
At least, you assume it's the right one because your back all but slams into it; don't even hear the noise that rattles down the empty hall. How are you meant to pay attention to such meaningless things, when a soft pressure appears at your lips? Greedily leaning into it as you all but melt into one another, his breath running ragged.
The key. You need the key.Â
It's somewhere on him, your hands blindly smoothing over his chest, searching for the outline of that thin plastic key card. And so what if you momentarily hook your fingers into the top of his shirt? It could have been hiding there, for all you know.
Bob finds it just before you do. Plucking the hunk of plastic from his front pocket, and you can feel the heat of his arm as he reaches past.
Beep.
Gravity tilts on its head. Falling backward.Â
Toned arms loop around your waist. Force you to remain upright. Pulling you close like there's a risk of you blowing away. Stumbling backward. Through the door. You don't know how your arms got around his neck, but you're not making any move to let go. Clinging to him like it's the only thing you know how to do. Nose bumping into his cheek as you find your way to his mouth once more.Â
One fleeting, accidental brush of his teeth against your lip has electricity bolting up your spine. Shades of gold explode in the depths of your frenzied mind. Fireworks. Tongues tangle for the briefest of seconds. But then he's licking at your bottom lip, and it's parting with a gasp, a little too eager to let him in. Twisting together in a fashion entirely unfamiliar to you, an exquisite dance that has you melting like snow on a summer day.
The mattress greets the backs of your knees, a gentle nudge that has you falling backward without ceremony. He's on top of you within a second, forearms bracing his weight on either side of your head, chests pressing together, andâ
"Mmh."Â Â His legs spasm around your thigh, only to push it up into him again, pressing against the growing tent in his slacks. Heavy.Â
"What was that?" In the lightest tone you can conjure up, rubbing your thigh against him once more.Â
His face flushes red. Eyes darting away like he'll catch on fire if he keeps looking at you, but there's no hiding the way he twitches at your touch. And he knows you've felt it because, somehow, his cheeks get even redder.Â
"What, don't like being teased?"Â Â
"I might die if you keep talking."Â
You'd like to see how true that statement can be. But that's an experiment for another night; you can only take your mind off of the throbbing heat resting against your thigh for so long.Â
Fuck, and it seems he's on the same page. Spit-slicked lips find the corner of your jaw, one of his hands smoothing down your side as he works his way beneath your ear. One kiss after the other, only lingering long enough to lightly suck on the skin there. Teeth scrape against you, and you absolutely shouldn't shudder at such a simple feeling, but it happens anyway.
Just like how you wander to his shirt, perhaps a bit too eager to start fumbling with the buttons. They're just as stubborn as you thought they would be, angrily wedging themselves in the gaps designed for them to fit through. Stupid things. Who ever thought these were a good idea?
Bob reaches past you, his wrist bumping your hand awayâ
Buttons scatter. Rolling across the floor. Bouncing across the bed. One strikes your chin. Another thunks against the headboard.
"I didn't know you had it in you," giggling. Only have a handful of seconds to admire the broad expanse of his pale chest before he's on you again. Picking up right where he left off, somewhere beneath your ear, where you're most sensitive.Â
His hum sounds like it's wrapped around the shape of your name, vibrating up your neck, rattling around in your skull like an earthquake. It's a wonder you don't fall apart. Fingertips biting into his shoulders, squeezing them as tightly as you can. And he just keeps kissing on you. Working down, down, down to your collar, only stopped by the fabric of your dress.
You can make it disappear.
He knows you can make it disappear.
And yet his hands slip behind your back, tugging down the tiny zipper that runs parallel to your spine.Â
Takes the time to ease the soft material off your body, impossibly slow, as if he's afraid of ripping it. Past your hips and over your knees. Folds it in half and sets it off to the side. And for a moment, he pauses. Lips shining with the same light that reflects off his glasses, hardly distracting from the sparkle of his eye.Â
Kisses find the inside of your knee. Working across the joint and delving into the delicate territory of your thigh. It's a tune he's played so many times that you already know where he's going and what thoughts are lurking in the back of his quiet mind. Tempting, but...
The dog tags hanging from his neck are too perfect not to grab. Why he's wearing them, you're not sure, but they reel him back in so damn easily.Â
But Bob freezes the moment you're eye to eye with him, not entirely sure how to tread this newfangled path he's found himself on. And that must be what makes it so easy to push him around. Flipping your positions with a skill you forgot you had, your ass snug in his lap, knees straddling his hips.
The back of his head thunks against the headboard, unnamed shades of red rising to tint his cheeks and the tips of his ears.Â
"You're sure?" He croaks; for a split second, you're on the ship again, meeting for the very first time.Â
"Are you sure?" Countering. The bridge of your nose bumps into his.Â
You don't necessarily remember what happens after that.Â
It all melts into a blur. Starts with you bouncing a button off his bare chest and ends with the sound of his pants hitting the floor next to you. You don't know who got the lube out. It must have been him because you still don't know where it even came from, but it's the sensation of his slick fingers pressing into you that catapults you back into reality.Â
"You remember that I'm a succubus, right?" The intended sarcasm doesn't so much as reach your vocal chords, nothing but a breathy whisper of the obvious.Â
A smile is all that he gives in return. "I know."
It's been too long since the last time you felt this. The pressure of thick fingers slipping into your already drooling cunt, knuckles catching on your entrance as they drag past. Coarse fingertips drag against your walls, crooked, running across a bundle of nerves that he has no business knowing about. Knows he's found it too, the corner of his mouth twitching upward at the sound of your whine.Â
Yeah.Â
It's been too long.Â
That's why you're so sensitive all of a sudden.
It's certainly not because of the heavy cock resting against the swell of your ass. Has nothing to do with the pools of blue that lurk in his eye; you reckon you'd drown in them if you were to fall forward. No, you only feel like that because of the never-ending city view that sits just past his head. Broad and expansive, just like...just like his shoulders...
You don't realize what your hand is doing until you overhear his sharp inhale. His body jerks, shocked by the sudden trace of your fingers running up the underside of his cock.Â
Impatience will be the undoing of both of you. In such a sudden hurry that lube spills onto the bed in your rush to slick him up, and it's only after that he realizes he's forgotten about the condom. Doesn't matter. The damn thing flies out of his hand when he tries ripping it open with his teeth, landing somewhere on the floor.
"Again," lifting your hips, lazily smacking his blunt tip against your cunt, "succubus."
"I'm sorry," he's yet to realize you're merely messing with him. Condom, no condom, you don't care either way. "I don't wanna make a mess of you."
"Maybe I want you to make a mess of me," countering. And it's the last thing you can say before the pressure of his cock shuts you up.Â
If you asked, you're certain he would humbly refer to himself as average, but this is...this is so much better than average. Thicker than usual and wonderfully curved, fitting that a man so intent on pleasing you would also have the perfect cock, too. Stretches you just enough to make your jaw go slack, his fat tip dragging against every little nerve it can find.Â
Bob tilts his head back, his chest rising with a heavy inhale, and that may be a whine that you hear. His lashes flutter, visibly fighting to keep them open as you sink down on him. Inch after inch, and it's been so long since you last felt this full.Â
And maybe they've sucked all of the oxygen from the room because neither of you can seem to catch your breath.Â
"That's..." his eyes drop down, fixating on the sight of him disappearing into you, "shit, that's..."
He doesn't get to finish that thought, and you don't get the chance to bother him about it, entirely distracted by the overwhelming sensation of him bottoming out. Your ass flush with his thighs, so damn full of him that your heart has risen into your throat.Â
You've already found the strength to lift your body again. Bracing your hands on his shoulders, using him for leverage as your hips lift, the city lights seeming to twinkle when he rubs into those soft nerves. Can only manage to raise yourself by an inch or two before collapsing down into him once more.Â
The warmth of Bobby's gaze crawls up your naked body, slow, like he's trying to take his time before he meets your eye. And when he does...
"You still in there?" Winding your arms around his neck. Can't seem to get him close enough.
His tongue darts out to wet his swollen lips, dry from panting, "uhuh."Â
You suppose he's telling the truth because he's present enough to remember how to tilt his head up and catch you with a kissâbreathing hard through your noses. His hands squeezing your hips. Holding them through every rise and fall.Â
Lube squelches between your legs. His cock head driving directly into that bundle of nerves again, your pussy helplessly spasming around him. You fear you're going to shatter into a million pieces if he does that again, but there's no attempt to shift your angle. Chasing that sensation again, crying out as a shock bolts up your spine.Â
"Bobby," it slips out so easily. Riding on the coattails of a gasp.Â
Foreheads knock together. So close that the sight of him goes a little bit fuzzy. Noses bumping when his hips twitch up, snapping into yours so swiftly that it knocks a whimper out of you. Just makes him do it again, and you are not living up to the whole succubus thing by collapsing into his shoulder.Â
"Fuck, I canâ" he grunts, punctuated by the lewd slap of skin against skin, "can feel you clenchin' around me."Â
And you can feel him twitch inside of you. Such a simple feeling that has you getting wetter around him, can only imagine what kind of mess is forming between your bodies right now. You'd look, but it's hard enough pulling yourself back, thighs burning, desperate to work back into the rhythm you just...built up...
Is...that...?
"What's wrong?" Bob has stopped moving at...some point. You don't know when that was. The concept of time passing is a little bit irrelevant right now.
Words don't necessarily come to you. Fleeting chunks of vaguely related sentences that you can't quite stitch together. You don't...that's not...when did...?
The only thing you can think of is to touch one of them.Â
His back jerks off the headboard. Sucking in a gasp. Eyes going wide. But then, twitching at the corners, pretty blue irises rolling back, his cock spasming despite your lack of movement. For a moment, not a sound seems to escape him, but then it's all shattered by a barely muffled whimper.Â
"So that's what's wrong with you." Deadpan.Â
Touching them made him cum. That's... somewhat familiar, actually.Â
Bobby's eyes can barely tear themselves open, fighting against them as he blinks up at you. "What?"Â
You're almost hesitant to touch them again. Two tiny horns, no more than an inch tall, poking out from where those pesky bumps once resided.Â
Horns. Of course. Why did you think you were wrong when you considered that earlier? They're identical to yours! A few inches above the ear, wide at the base and growing narrow as it nears the tip. Jet black for the time being, but they'll develop their color with time.Â
The one upside to being a succubus. Uniquely colored horns.Â
"Not to bring up family while all seven and a half inches of you are inside of me," because you're not sure about how to start this conversation, jumping on the first half-baked plan that comes to mind. "But are you entirely sure your folks are human?"
His head tilts. "Why?"Â
The only thing you can think of is to take a picture. Those two tiny horns poking out like they're part of a cute headband, so ridiculously small in person and even smaller on his phone. As you pass it off to him, you catch yourself wondering if he'll see them at all.Â
"...huh." Is all that he can say.Â
They're far too sensitive for him to touch, not after what mess you just caused, but he tries. Winces the moment his fingertips make contact with the fresh new bone; you can only imagine this is how you reacted the first time your horns made their appearance, too.Â
You wonder if there's anything behind them. You've seen a few variations where a second pair sprouted behind the first, but you can't see anything from this angle. If you just lean a little further to the rightâ
A whimper twists through the air. Pretty blue eyes squeeze shut.
"I'm sorry, Iâ"
"No, no, no, don't," his hands are back on your hips, pulling you back down into his lap before you've even moved an inch, and oh, you can feel his cum beginning to spill out of you. Fuck, there's so...there's so much of it. It'll make a mess of the bed if you're not careful, but you can't move. Not with those big hands anchoring you down.Â
But he's not done talking.Â
"Keep going," he blurts, his chest shuddering with a breath. Horns be damned, those aren't on his mind right now. "Please, I just, I want, I want you toâ"Â
A swivel of your hips shuts him up. His teeth sink into his bottom lip, already too late to stifle the pitchy little noise that sails out of his throat. God, that's a hell of a sound. Combined with the way his half-hard cock twitches in you, it's almost too much to bear. He can hardly handle it himself, squirming, not sure if he wants to push into you or away from you.Â
"There!"Â Stardust twinkles behind your eyes. "Right there. Don't move."
It's as if the room has exploded into a galaxy. Midnight black and the deepest shades of navy, decorated in a rainbow of distant, twinkling stars. You and him and this big, oversized hotel bed. Weightless. Floating round and round, further and further away, until you're lost to the Milky Way itself.Â
The fat tip of his cock drives up into those nerves again. Space nearly swallows you up once more. "Bobby..."
Your eyes must have been closed because you don't remember his head tipping back. Dazed, flushed cheeks, so entirely focused on you that the rest of the world ceases to exist at all. Pitchy whimpers, stumbling off his drooling tongue, overstimulated but making no move to push you off of him.
His lips seal. Hardly manages to muffle his noises, but it's already too quiet for your liking.
One of your hands curls around his cheek. Thumb pressing against his bottom lip, hardly takes any pressure for him to give way, allowing you in. And his poor tongue is right there, practically begging you to pin it down, and who are you to deny such a request?
Heat twists in your belly. Pussy clenching tighter around him. Your motions growing jerky. Sporadic. Sparks of color flash behind your eyelids, growing heavier by the second. And it's so fucking loud in this room. Whimpers. Cries. Blending together so seamlessly that you can't tell who makes what noise. Every motion punctuated by an all-too-loud squelch of cum and lube, fuck, this bed is going to be ruined after this.
"I-I'mâ" Bob whines, tongue flexing beneath your thumb. Eyes glassy, one blink away from tears spilling over the brim.Â
"Close." Don't know if you're finishing his sentence or speaking for yourself.Â
It washes over you with all the strength and violence of a tidal wave. Hips stalling. Head falling back. Cumming on his cock with an unexpected cry, heat racing through your veins, skin prickling, breath hung up in your throat. You think your eyes cross. Can't really figure out how true that is, too busy floating through the cracks in the universe to think about anything but the spasm of his length inside of you.Â
And you're vaguely aware that he's cumming, too, his cries vibrating through your thumb and deep into your bones.Â
"Still in there?" You find yourself asking after a moment.Â
Bob hums and you're only now realizing that his glasses are gone, blinking up at you with unfocused eyes. Where they've gone, you don't know; don't think you could get up and look for them if you tried.Â
All of the strength has left your legs. Thighs trembling as you lift yourself from his lap. And they can only hold you up for so long before you find yourself collapsing next to him, greeted by the significantly cooler sheets.Â
Those horns are still there. All too present as he tries to snuggle down onto a pillow, inconveniently brushing against the fabric. You're both a damn mess. His lower belly glistens in the light, and you can already feel his cum beginning to spill out of you onto the sheets.Â
Sheets that you don't want to change for a cleaner set.Â
But the shower is so far away...and Bob is curling his arm around you. Pulling you closer to him as if the six inches of space between your bodies is too much for him to handle. Your nose bumps into his chin, the slightest hint of stubble growing there.
You should hide his razor and see what happens.
"How do I make them disappear?" Bob's voice cracks in the middle, sporadically skyrocketing in pitch. Water might do him good, but...damn, the fridge is by the bathroom.Â
"I'll teach you, eventually," your voice isn't doing much better; you can hardly get it above a whisper. "I wanna see them on you for a little longer first."
His eyes roll, shaking his head all the while. Almost like he expected you to say that. But he doesn't call you out on it, content to tilt his head down and shut you up instead. Swollen lips crashing together, lazily tangling. A small explosion would be less messy, tongues licking into each other's mouths and teeth clacking so hard that your even bones recoil at the sensation.Â
...but there's pressure on your shoulder, and you're rolling onto your back, his comfortable weight settling on top of you. Half hard against your thigh.Â
"Satisfied?" You murmur, though you suppose you already know the answer to that.
His lips curl into a smile. Devilish, even. "No."
You're beginning to think you've swapped roles in this relationship.
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Theres a specific moment i think about alot, the scene at the very end of episode 1 of pvp civilization.
In the scene, Evbo is doing something mundane, shopping. And then something startles him. His sword breaks. Then he stops talking entirely until he dies from the sword in his hand breaking. To most, this is probably just an average "Perfectly cut death" type of transition, something to lead into the next episode and to get people hooked more onto the series, this was also done in Parkour Civ, but less naturally executed in that series (in my honest opinion) I think he also does this when he first gets his ass kicked by Ferre in the gold sword layer at the end of episode 4, but i'm not sure about that one. Some folks subscribe to the idea that Evbo monologues when he is scared of a situation, which isn't a bad idea since the guy loves to talk, all the time. However, I want to propose the opposite idea: Evbo goes nonverbal when scared. Personally, I think its more interesting and makes his character more dynamic if you imagine him refusing or straight up unable to speak whatsoever when he is in a state of fear, be it a trigger from previous trauma or a panic attack. Or something else entirely. Maybe as a bonus, he monologues about things happening around him to distract his own thoughts. Thoughts that he would rather keep well hidden from others. And more importantly, from himself.
Idk, just an idea.
#it just makes sense in my mind as someone who also goes nonverbal in situations they dont like#this isnt knocking down anyones HCs btw i think all HCs are valid and interesting to write about in some way or another#i personally just havent seen this idea really discussed#and i wanna see what people would do with something like this! because i personally find it interesting#especially with the mask he wears around others#pvp civilization
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now playing...
after midnight - chappell roan
pairing: singer/producer lee heeseung x singer reader "y/n" x singer sim jaeyun
warnings: profanity, suggestive, kissing, heeseung is thirsty, overall 18+ - also this is partially written so please make sure to read the written part so it all makes sense
wc: 954
ignore the time stamps and any possible typos lol
heeseung approaches y/n as sheâs mingling with jake and his friends. her smile fading after he taps her shoulder and he comes into view. âcan i steal her for a bit?â heeseung asks jake as if jake was the person in charge of you. a recurring behavior heeseung where he felt the need to always show ownership and possession of you when you were dating, rarely ever considering how you felt or how it would affect you.Â
jake shakes his head and lets you go with heeseung even if you don't want to. heeseung grabs your wrist after failing to hold your hand, dragging you to a part of the venue where you werenât necessarily seen by a lot of people. âwhat do you want heeseung? iâm trying to enjoy the partyâŠâ you say with a sigh and he tries to reel you in by showing you his big doe eyes and even though it slightly made your heart flutter, you chose to stand on business.Â
âlook, i know i fucked up but just give me one more chance to treat you right.â heeseung says but slows down as the sentence progresses when you just so happen to say the same exact things as him. this was the sentence he had pulled on you in the past and quite frankly, it worked a few times but not this time.Â
âyou didnât even wanna try a new script to get me back?â you ask coldly and heeseung drops his face like he has been caught. âokay, i just donât know what to say. i miss you and i know i was a fucking ass but i just canât stand being without you.â heeseung says and you just watch him, waiting because you know he was eventually going to tell on himself. he had that habit, when heeseung was drunk and he began to ramble at you, if you just stared at him his silent pauses would be filled with more rambling because he wanted to avoid the awkward silence. so heâd fill it with more talking and eventually confess something he didnât mean to.
âand i donât know. that sond i made was mean i admit that but did you have to do a collab with jake of all people? you know how much i liked his music and it felt like a low blow.â there it isâŠ
âha! i knew it! youâre jealous, i canât believe this is what this is actually about. do you even want me back or are you just threatened with the idea that someone else wants me and that iâm no longer yours?â you ask, anger in your voice and heeseung doesnât know what to say.Â
âheeseung, i mean this in the nicest way possible, leave me alone.â you say and although heeseung was expecting something a bit harsher, your tired demeanor and offset to his advances hurt more than your words.Â
you walk away before heeseung could say another but you donât rejoin jake and his friends, choosing to find a spot you could be alone for a few minutes.Â
you turn around to hide yourself from jake as he approaches, half embarrassed that he has to see you like this and the other feeling guilty as youâre bringing down the vibe of his own party.Â
âyou okay, pretty?â jake asks as he pushes open the door to the balcony. the cold air whipping past him as he takes the spot next to you. clearing your throat, âyeah, iâm okay. sorry i donât wanna be a downer on your birthday.â you say, trying to avoid eye contact but jake softly grabs your chin to make eye contact with you.Â
âcan i be honest..? i wasnât really feeling the party either.â jake says with a chuckle and he gets a laugh out of you at the same time, smiling even bigger when he hears your laugh that he finds so pretty.Â
âwanna get out of here?â he asks and as much as you wanted to, you felt bad. âjake, this is your party, you should be here.â you say to him and jake just rolls his eyes with a pout. ânah, everyone in there is probably too drunk to even notice.â he reassures you and for a moment youâre just looking at each other. jakeâs eyes are fishing for the small glint in your eyes that tells him you want this as much as he does, and indeed you do.Â
you take his hand in yours and drag him back inside, past the party, and into the elevator. âwhere you taking me, huh?â jake says, teasingly and you roll your eyes at him playfully as you drag jake to your car.Â
the drive back to your place is filled with laughter and singing random songs with jake. he couldnât believe this was finally, his crush on you was finally progressing to something more. his eyes widened at the sight of your apartment, a high rise but humble home that screamed your style. cute figures and stuffed animals scattered throughout the home and empty cans of energy drinks on your kitchen counter.Â
jake is taken out of his thoughts when you slam the door behind him and you grab him by the collar. âdo you think iâm pretty?â you ask even though you already know that answer to it. jake nods, desperation in his eyes as he looks down at your lips.Â
âdo you wanna kiss me, jakey?â you ask and he nods eagerly, answering faster than the first time. you donât even get a chance to lean closer to jake before he crashes his lips onto yours. a moment he had been waiting for.Â
masterlist - back - next
hoonieyun notes: trouble in paradise for heeseung means smooth sailing for jake! what do we think jake and yn are going to do once they get to yn's place? do a puzzle? coloring book? bake cookies?
also please answer the little poll, the result doesn't affect the story but i'd love to see yalls input
copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved
all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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#now playing...#en-diaries#enhypen#kpop au#kpop#kpop fic#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#enha#fanfiction#enhypen au#enhypen smau#enha au#enha smau#enhypen fake texts#enha fake texts#enhypen texts#enha texts#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#jake x reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen heeseung#lee heeseung#heeseung#enhypen jake#enhypen jaeyun#sim jaeyun#jake sim#enha imagines
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As a polin fan and lukola shipper, I try to focus on what the actual people whoâve met L&N in real life say about them. Everyone whoâs ever met them say they are genuinely kind and honest. So what you see is what you get. I wish people would just stop reading between the lines and focus on what L&N say themselves! Negative Nancies have got to stop listening to people online whoâve never met these two humans.
When I see BS online, I ask myself what do their coworkers say about who they are in real life? Or what do their friends say about them? Believe those people bc theyâve met them like in person and are vouching for them as good, decent people.
We all want them to launch their relationship on their terms but they arenât ready yet and thatâs ok. Most of us see love and joy and just want to live vicariously through happy people. Itâs the same reason we all go to weddings: to be part of the happiness.
Still kinda hoping theyâll put us out of our misery soon! Like they donât have to invite us to the wedding but just post a pic from the reception maybe?
Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!! (Well I guess just the Americans? I sometimes forget everyone doesnât celebrate our holidays.)
I think truly just love the drama at this point and theyâll do anything or say anything for some attention. Obsessing over Antonia and Jake like theyâre somehow standing in the way of Luke and Nic (and Iâm a fucking size 0) just invites misery and if thatâs how they wanna live then let them.
The fact that so many people are comfortable with talking about Luke and Nicola as if they know them continues to baffle me and always will.
I also only listen to the people who know them and have commented on them. Because they actually KNOW them as opposed to people on the internet who think they do.
Hoping for something soon and Happy Thanksgiving to you, anon!
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PAC : Am I the only 'main character' theyâre vibing with ? (18+)
Honestly ... idk.
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Pile 1
They are flamboyant individual . Babe they are not playing with you. They are not taking âânoââ as an answer. Yes, they have a lot of options but all they see is you. You have no idea how tunnel vision they are about you. Is borderline obsessive. Now the question is are they going to keep that energy when they have you ?
Am I the only 'main character' theyâre vibing with ?
Yes.Â
Whatâs the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
DramaÂ
Run. I know that type too well. They are going to do everything right until⊠they know they bag you. The fact that you are untouchable is actually whatâs making them crazy. I feel like that person has a lot of experience. They fucked with a lot of people from all age range. Then thereâs you. Mission impossible. I feel like yâall have a good relationship with dad, if not your dad card gets swiped. Yâall may have nobody in your DM. Nobody ever came your way to deal with you. You are sitting down looking at yourself knowing you are not the problem. Face cards never decline, body is tea, nails stay done, you do your own hair. Especially the one that is dying their hair after a mental breakdown. You slay each color each time. It doesn't matter if you start the process at 2 am on a whim. You also do your own lashes or is a lash tech. Yâall also may be bald. Or you know damn well that pussy is the goat. Even if you are a virgin. You know your cookie would have these man hooks like is coke. The second that someone is going to have a taste of it ⊠they are going to lose their mind. You, them and I know you were never the problem. Thatâs why people keep saying they are intimidated by you because you look like you wonât take bullshit, you have your own motion and your money is long ⊠so whatâs up. Their dick in their pants ⊠girl ! Anyway the only reason they want you is to prove to their lame friend group that they got an insane game. They are going to cheat on you, play in your face and make you feel so bad whenever you would want to discuss your feelings. You are too pretty for that mess ⊠NEXT, THANK YOU !
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PILE 2
Am I the only 'main character' theyâre vibing with ?
Yes.
Whatâs the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Drama.
Is giving baby mama/daddy drama. The person you are dealing with is in love with you. They care for you, they show in multiple ways. They keep texting you throughout the day. Always checking on you and the baby. Go to every appointment and even make sure you have more than enough money for the baby. They donât just cover for the diapers, school books or clothes. They are paying for your hair, nails, clothes, food, and trip. Ask and they trick. They also like to spend time with you on a date without the kid. They love coming home and cuddling with you in front of a movie or one of your reality tv shows. They love touching you and making love to you. I feel like you want more. You want to be nastier. You want a pile 3 experience. Your partner canât see you under that light. Something about you being the mother of their kids now so everything changes. Back then y'all used to get down. You were doing splits on the dick, you were riding from the side, you were vocal because the speed they used to go was animalistic. The issue is he would give you his left kidney but canât be faithful for nothing. Not even God can come and ask that from him. They are out here clubbing and you are waking up lonely with a ââhey girlyââ text. You lost count of how many ââhey girlyââ texts you had. You stay with them because they are so loving and treat you like a princess. They are an amazing parent and you guys are a good team together but the cheating is insane.Â
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PILE 3
Am I the only 'main character' theyâre vibing with ?
No.Â
Whatâs the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Chill.
You know they are not only dealing with you and you donât give a fuck. You are only there for the dick/pussy. They way they fuck is too good. You: I know ! Just an insider; your boo thing is also dealing with his girl bff (yes⊠is time to have a gc meeting). Anyway you try all your sexual fantasies with them. Yâall love to use toys. He also buys you lingerie for some he also buys your weed or edibles. They will do whatâs necessary to be in that wap and they quickly understand that you get nicer when you have a gift in your hand. They love to have their dick/strap come in and out of you. They love to have their fingers in your hole. Them: Is tight. Me: .. Sir/Miss please can I finish this reading in peace? You are the best they ever had. They love your face when you orgasm, they love to keep their face close to yours. They love swallowing your moans and kissing you. They love any position where they can hold you close. On the other hand, you prefer riding them, doing splits, teasing, giggling. You just like to feel and look like a pornstar thatâs it. Yâall may film your experience and you act like is your personal Onlyfan. Ok Pile 2 gets nasty with it. Last insider: they would cuff you if you looked and acted like their bff because they are in love with your punani. I donât even think you ever consider being with them. Just letting you know. So you donât get dickmitize.Â
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PILE 4Â
Am I the only 'main character' theyâre vibing with ?
Yes.Â
Whatâs the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Drama.
Pile 4 not yâall being the drama. Nah, zion do it, zion, zion. Out here looking around. Give your 4 walls a break and focus on me. (Not me rizzing up on the ipod (plz tell me you got that niche reference ⊠anyway)). Your person is going through it. First you guys are recently single and you were in a confusing/toxic relationship. They were out here judging your body all the damn time. Telling you were too fat or saying they could not last long in bed because you were not pretty enough. Whole time they look like a drawing inspired by someone's drunk memory. The worst is yâall are gorgeous and you big tits are always sitting pretty. You have an hourglass figure and it is not about being slim or thick. Is about having a proportionate silhouette. Hair goals : long and healthy have never been dyed. Yâall may have lip filler and is because of your ex but I think yâall recently took the filler out. Side note, yâall may look tall in your picture but you are actually very short. Anyway your older brother bff is doing their best to keep their hands to themself. They have been crushing on you forever and everyone knows it except the brother and you. Like even the parents can sense a vibe. You love teasing them, maybe you guys started texting like yâall use too and thereâs a lot of sexual double meaning. A lot of sexual tension between y'all. They are calling you little names and they claim they care for you. Have real feelings but you wonât allow yourself to fall for it. Because of your past and the fact that this is your brother bff⊠hello ! Stop giving them the fuck me eyes in family settings. They already told you that but babe frl. Because next time they will pin you to a wall⊠I'm not joking. Relationship or not. You guys lowkey sext each other and you are always the instigator. You:want to see my new bras. Since they canât resist ⊠they expect just a picture of underwear nah is my girl milker in a beautiful colorful lace. Bye ! When they are drunk they love to text you and call you to sing their love to you . Everytime the next morning they come back nervous, hoping they did not scare you off. Anyway Pile 4, Iâm not the one to advocate for man peace but please put that man out of his misery.Â
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#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarot cards#divination#18+ tarot#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#intuitive guidance#intuition#divine timing#divine guidance#free readings#free tarot readings#free tarot#black friday
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Part 31. Perfect Dichotomy (Midnight Rendezvous, Part A)
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Description below the cut
Chat Noir attempts to sit on the rolling chair by Marinetteâs computer, but Ladybug pulls his tail and points at the chaise lounge instead.
Ladybug: Over here. We can sit on the chaise lounge together.
Chat Noir: Oh? You want me to be closer?
Chat exaggeratedly sprawls out onto Ladybugâs lap, arching his back and flinging his arms above his head. Ladybug looks down at him with a teasing grin.
Chat Noir: How about this close?
Ladybug: A cat lying on my lap, huh? That sounds...
Ladybug scratches the top of Chatâs head as he grins with deep pleasure.
Ladybug: Purr-fect.
Chat turns over and hugs Ladybugâs shin while she gives Chat more head scritches and rubs his back.
Ladybug: So⊠wanna tell me what's got you so spooked about Mayura?
Chat Noir: She and Catwalker⊠talked. About me. She mentioned some things that not many people would know.
Flashback to âGlaciatorâ: Marinette and Chat Noir rest on the railing of the balcony and look at each other as the moon shines over the city.
Ladybug (voiceover): But Marinette knows? I suppose you have visited her a fair bit. It's not all that surprising that you've shared some personal things with her...
Chat looks up at Ladybug and holds his finger and thumb an inch apart.
Chat Noir: Itâs a bit more complicated than that. Though I suppose I am missing some key details...
Ladybug puts her fist on her chin in contemplation (Her other hand continues giving Chat scritches).
Ladybug: So Catwalkerâs been hiding things from you too...?
Chat Noir: More like Mayura was being extra crypticâor lying. All I really know for sure is that sheâs looking for me.
Ladybug: I still don't understand why she cares so much...
Chat holds his hands out in a self-satisfied âOh well!â gesture. (Ladybug stops giving him scritches).
Chat Noir: I like getting on villains' nerves, what can I say? I'll just have to keep frustrating her in our little game of 'Cat and Mouse'.
Ladybug pulls out the pillow from under her leg and âbonksâ Chat Noir on the head with it as he tries to placate her with a large grin.
Ladybug: Why do you make it sound like youâve been doing something really stupid?
Chat Noir: Just because my methods are ridiculous, it doesnât mean they donât work!
Ladybug: That is not reassuring.
Chat leans against the chaise lounge next to Ladybug, hands clasped.
Chat Noir: Donât worry, LB. Iâve got it handled. I think the bigger problem is what prompted you to bring me here. Wanna tell me what's wrong?
Chat kneels a leg next to Ladybug and places one hand on her arm and the other on her back.
Ladybug: I'm not sure how to explain...
Chat Noir: Start anywhere. I think I can keep up.
Ladybug closes her eyes and holds her head in her hands with an expression of longing.
Ladybug: It's... Catwalker. He's too perfect.
Chat Noir: ...You lost me.
A series of flashbacks with events shown pretty much as they occurred:
Flashback to âKuro Nekoâ: Catwalker peeks around the corner at Kuro Neko, while Ladybug leans forward, catching her breath.
Ladybug (voiceover): He notices things that I'm too blind to see.
Catwalker (flashback): If that was Chat Noir, don't you think he'd talk to you?
Flashback to Part 6: View of Catwalker and Ladybug from below as they travel across the sky.
Catwalker (flashback): I canât rule that out, but⊠my gut says thatâs not it.
Ladybug (voiceover): His instincts about akumas are much better than mine.
Flashback to âKuro Nekoâ: Ladybug looks at Catwalker as they kneel on a rooftop.
Ladybug (voiceover): It's like he already knows the answer I need.
Catwalker (flashback): Cats sometimes eat grass, it helps them spit out their hairballs.
Flashback to Part 8: A close-up of Ladybug looking right next to a close-up of Catwalker looking left.
Catwalker (flashback): You still have a multitude of people who can help you.
Ladybug (voiceover): And he's just nudging me to think of it myself.
Flashback to Part 18: Ladybug, still falling, throws her yo-yo through one of the holes in the lower conical barrier.  In the cone above, Catwalker places his hand against its barrier. Both barriers begin to disintegrate.
Ladybug (voiceover): He always finds the right moment to use his powers.
Catwalker (flashback): Cataclysm!
Flashback to Part 26: Ladybug uses her yo-yo to flee as Oni-Chan lunges towards her. But behind Oni-Chan, Catwalker has backflipped into the room behind her, his finger touching the amok with his Cataclysm.
Ladybug (voiceover): But I just ruin the opportunities he gives me because I never expect him to live up to you.
Flashback to Part 15: Ladybug turns back to looking down at the city below. Catwalker holds up a hand to offer a friendly suggestion.
Catwalker (flashback): If youâd like to talk about anything, Iâd be happy to stay and listen.
Ladybug (voiceover): And even when I can't do anything, he still acts so unbelievably kind...
Flashback to âKuro Nekoâ: Catwalker, illuminated by the moon, reaches his hand before him for Ladybug to hold.
Ladybug (voiceover): He's just so... perfect.
Catwalker (flashback): Now I want to take care of you.
Ladybug (voiceover): But then I learned the truth:
Another series of flashbacks, with events depicted slightly off from what actually happened and Catwalker showing more malice.
Flashback to Part 12: Catwalker almost pointedly looks towards Carapace, who looks away guiltily.
Ladybug (voiceover): He lies and bends the truth with ease.
Catwalker (flashback): We only assume Adrien wants to be found.
Flashback to Part 17: Catwalker looks down towards Ladybug, the hand in front of him leaning on one of the barriers between them.
Catwalker (flashback): If he was dead, no one would know.
Ladybug (voiceover): And his lies lead to people suffering.
Flashback to Part 19: Catwalker steps forward, his hands palm upward in front of him, trying to explain himself.
Ladybug (voiceover): He'll use his heroic duty as an excuse to hold back.
Catwalker (flashback): I can't be as lax as Chat Noir was.
Flashback to Part 14: Catwalker grabs the end of Renaâs flute and pulls up the phone screen. Embedded flashback bubble from Part 20: Alya looks away and rubs the back of her neck.
Alya (flashback): He stole my phone number from my flute.
Ladybug (voiceover): But he crosses boundaries he shouldn't with no excuse.
Flashback to âKuro Nekoâ: Catwalker pauses as he leaves Ladybug to finish everything on her own.
Ladybug (voiceover): He pretends to do what I want.
Catwalker (flashback): I won't make another move.
Flashback to Part 28: Astrowalker, wrapped tightly in yo-yo string (even his wings have been folded in on themselves and bound), hangs upside-down as Cosmobug points angrily at his face.
Catwalker (flashback): I followed you in case I needed to stay in your way.
Ladybug (voiceover): But he goes rogue once I'm not watching.
Flashback to Part 8: Catwalker lays on his side next to Emilie, reaching away from her. Embedded flashback bubble from Part 20: Marinette clenches her fists in front of her, looking haunted.
Ladybug (voiceover): I can only guess at what other awful things he's hidden beneath my nose.
Marinette (flashback): What if he used his powers on his mom?
Flashback to Part 4: Catwalker grins at Ladybug with perfect posture, his hands on his lap.
Ladybug (voiceover): His perfection is an illusion.
Catwalker (flashback): I considered what I needed in order to be your 'ideal' partner.
Ladybug (voiceover): And I don't know what prices were paid to uphold his illusion.
Flashbacks end. Chat Noir kneels next to Ladybug on the chaise lounge as they embrace.
Chat Noir: I'm sorry, m'Lady. It's unfair that you've had to go through all of this. If Catwalker is so wrong... would it be better if I was your Chat Noir again?
Ladybug: I wish I could let you. But I can't let Mayura target you. Even if you were careful, she'd probably go after your loved ones in retaliation. I won't let that happen.
Chat Noir: Alright. Then what's the best way for me to support you?
Ladybug: Tell me how to fix everything? *sob* I'm sorry, I don't think there's anything you can do.
Chat Noir: You're underestimating me. And I think that you're underestimating him. You're right that he's not perfect. But I do think he's trying to be good.
Ladybug: I wish I had your ability to believe in people. But Catwalker is too good of a liar. I can't really know if he cares about anyone. But I have to keep him as my partner. I just have no idea how.
Chat Noir stands and rubs his chin in thought as Ladybug looks on.
Chat Noir: What if... What if I showed you the truth about Catwalker?
Ladybug: The... 'truth'? You don't mean his identity, do you?
Chat Noir: No, of course not. But this could fundamentally change how you see himâyou wouldn't even need his name to trust him again.
Chat smiles down and touches his chest with both hands.
Ladybug: I can't see how that's remotely possible.
Chat Noir: You trust me even though you don't know who I am, donât you?
Ladybug: Because I know you.
Chat Noir: Because you got to know me. And if you knew the truth, you could know him too.
Chat scratches his head sheepishly and holds up a finger. Ladybug turns away with hands raised, exasperated.
Chat Noir: There's just one itty-bitty catch.
Ladybug: Of course there's a catch...
Chat looks away, rubbing his arm.
Chat Noir: If I share this with you...? My identity would make it dangerously easy to figure out who he is. And a part of me was kinda hoping that I could show you who I am tonight.
Ladybugâs eyes widen in astonishment.
Ladybug: You wanted to share identities?
Chat Noir: Just mine. I know his identity, so I shouldn't risk learning yours too anytime soon.
Chat leans down to touch Ladybugâs shoulder and holds up his fist encouragingly.
Chat Noir: But if you want to be absolutely certain of Catwalker's loyalties? To understand the person who is hiding behind the mask? I'd need to keep my identity from you a little while longer.
Chat Noir raises both hands to offer two options. Above his right hand is the image of Catwalker. Above his left is the image of Adrien Agreste.
Chat Noir: But itâs your choice, Ladybug: Learn the underlying truth about your new partner? Or learn the civilian identity of your old partner?
Below is the same image as above, only without text:
#thanks to asukiess and kasienda for betaing this page#*lets out a burst of confetti*#this page (and scene) has been on my mind for *so long* you guys you don't even know#thinking so much made it *so hard* to actually put it together since i had too many ideas to use and not enough space#feel free to speculate on which version of this boy may be learned to be another version of this boy#i've written out multiple avenues for this to go#and though i am very unlikely to change my mind at this point#i have a *lot* of appreciation for how things *could* be#runaway catwalker#chat noir#ladybug#catwalker#cat walker#ml comic#miraculous ladybug
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I wish Jimmy wasn't a static villain, but I'm glad he wasn't. It's terrifyingly interesting to watch this man crumble underneath the weight of his mistakes. Kinda wanna put him in a blender.
Jimmy resents Curly for not being satisfied with the ideal life that he [Jimmy] could never achieve on his own. A life style that we all are told are the marks of success, but we have to break our backs and trudge through mud to even get a glimpse of and it's not even what most people want or need. Jimmy bought into the golden standard he believed Curly achieved and tried to mimic him. But Curly, a captain shaped by the greedy corporate powers that be, is only a facade of a captain. A mirage that disappears when you get closer, but Jimmy is delusional as fuck so he taped that mirage to his forehead and kept chasing it like his life depended on it.
In his eyes I guess it did.
Jimmy's relationship with Pony Express is weird as fuck, but I think it makes sense if Jimmy attaches so much importance to it because it influences his life so much. Curly, Jimmy's golden ideal, gives him a chance to escape his "rough life" with Pony Express and climb up the ladder to achieve that golden standard for himself. Pony Express is such a shitty ladder though, with its lackluster policies and disregard for their employees and working conditions but Jimmy holds on because it's his lifeline. As a a pilot he gets to take control of his life. It's not easy and it's far from ideal but it's better than home, so he makes it his home. One things that you do when you're home is get comfortable enough to shit in it.
Jimmy rapes Anya on the Tulpar. On the job for Pony Express. He did it at least 2 out of 11 months in, because Anya notes that there are eight months left on the ship to Curly and we know she knew she was pregnant by then. I don't know why he did it, I cannot fathom what compelled him to allow himself that impulse but he did it. In doing so he planted the seed for the life he wanted to achieve that would strip it from him before he even accomplishes it and it grows out of his control.
Let's rewind a bit. Curly revealing to the crew that Pony Express was going down and laying them off was essentially heaven closing the gate on Jimmy with a nice helping of spit on his face. It was bad news for everyone, but woooow Jimmy took it real personal after the talk he had with Curly about a week(?) before. About leaving Pony Express for something more fulfilling. Jimmy put two and three together to make four and accused Curly of being happy with this outcome and leaving them behind for a more satisfying life while everyone else is left with nothing to show for their struggles working for the company. We know that's not true, but Jimmy is essentially witnessing his golden ideal, who handed him this fool's gold of an opportunity to achieve the golden standard, close the very door he opened after telling Jimmy that he doesn't even like said door. Jimmy loses it and lashes out.
(... you know... that might be why Jimmy did... all that. If they got the news before he ever assaulted Anya Jimmy didnt have too much to lose that he hadnt lost already, so why not take control however he can and feel good.) Ah fuck, wait, no. Shit... fuck!
If Jimmy raped Anya because Pony Express is going down and Polle represents Anya and/or the unborn baby... im not even sure where Im going with this but if he raped Anya cuz he felt cheated of the ideal life (one that typically says you need a spouse and kids) I will put myself in the cryopod with Curly. Im not saying he did it to start a family, but as a means of taking whatever slice of cake he can before it all goes to shit.
I said all that to explore why Jimmy cracked so hard but now I feel like I unearthed something and I dont know how I feel about it. Ack!
I dont know if I need to make this clear, but I am not excusing his actions. I'm trying to get into his head. Turning him over to see what made him tick the way he did. It's fun.
Edit: i did a follow-up reblog that sums it up better
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I got silly and infodumped againâŠ
The fact that crystalised despite being the worst ninjago season by far- showed that for a long time now, possibly since season 11 has had his emotions turned off. Is crazy to me. Because I know Cole had a pretty okay moment with Zane about it and he ended up turning it back on in the same season or maybe even same episode I canât fully recall. But I donât know how mentally fucked these characters are or what- but I feel like no one stopped to think about that for enough time. Like Cole, heâs a very caring, affectionate, empathetic guy. Yet even he didnât really seem to register the implications this had for Zaneâs mental health. Zane is filled with so much emotional turmoil that he physically couldnât bear to feel anymore. And this group of traumatised young adults were like- âoh haha Zane, thatâs so quirky, thatâs so silly of you, haha relatable anyway-â Like duuuude I donât know if this is the writers wanting to avoid actually discussing mental health in a âchildrenâsâ show or if these characters have had such little emotional awareness and support through their lives, almost dying everyday since they were teenagers that they are so desensitised to the horrors tm that they literally cannot tell when someone is basically holding a sign over their head saying âI NEED SERIOUS HELP.â
That kinda says a lot about Sensei wu, doesnât it? I mean heâs great we Stan- but he did kinda adopt a bunch of struggling teenagers and burden them with saving the world and then allowed them to put themselves in harms way for years, without ever sitting them down and asking them if they were okay, emotionally? Like I donât know if this happened and I didnât see it or if it was implied to happen off screen but I really doubt wu was any sort of a support system for these guys that treated him like a father figure. Â
Maybe itâs because this cycle of pain goes back to wu as well, because heâs not the most stable person in the world either, but idk it feels crazy to me that these people that were basically family. Just- never checked in on eachothers well being or looked out for each others mental issues.
I mean they never really got a break and when they did- hell the only reason season 11 happened was because wu, so obsessed with the ninja being in tip top condition urged them to do something, which led these idiots to unleashing Aspheera and then ended up with probably the worst fate you could wish upon a Lego, for Zane. Seriously the fact they turned the ice emperor thing into a joke is so tone deaf to me like if this happened to your friend. In real life, (just suspend disbelief for a second) you would be absolutely GUTTED. Youâd probably feel SO BAD. And that person? Probably canât function like a normal individual anymore. Probably needs serious therapy.  Not a joke.
I donât hate wu, I never did. But I just think heâs been very irresponsible with the way heâs handled his students and while heâs wise in some aspects 70% of problems in the show couldâve been avoided if this old man valued communication.
And if this isnât based on the characters flaws. And itâs Lego refusing to discuss mental illness and mental health. COME ON LEGO IT WOULD EDUCATE YOUR YOUNG AUDIENCE ON PTSD, ANXIETY AND HOW TO HEALTHILY DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS. Because right now, if you wanna deal with issues the ninja way, YOU BURY THEM AND TAKE THEM TO THE GRAVE AND YOU NEVER COMPLAIN OR REST.
All I want is at least one episode where itâs not all about the current bad guy or plot and itâs just about the ninja actually confiding in one another and trying to help their friends out. Maybe Zane or Lloyd finally snap and have a full mental breakdown and the only way to deal with it is for them to actually talk about it and work it out. Iâm sure you can make a compelling episode with that in mind. Theyâve tried to address mental health in the show with Lloyds anxiety arc thing in DR they need to do better.
We need a scene in DR where Zane and Frohicky are at the monastery while the other ninja are doing stuff, (maybe Iâll work out the details more and write something on this) and something happens where all the pain and trauma and just, awfulness just builds up in Zaneâs mind and he just. Has a moment where he cracks. And he stops working on whatever heâs working on. And Frohicky notices the shift in the air and suddenly his entire demeanour changes and he comes over concerned and Zane is standing there or kneeling and Frohicky puts his hand on his shoulder and asks. âAre you okay?â And Zane just doesnât know how to respond. He tries to shake everything off but he canât, heâs never been asked that before. And Frohicky starts babbling on trying to help him and offers to get him set up so he can rest, and Zane doesnât have the strength to object or the will to say anything and heâs just like.
âI.. donât know.â In a final response to the previous question.Â
And itâs just a scene where Zane accepts Frohickys gesture of kindness. And while not everything is fixed obviously. You can slowly see the tension leaving him.
Because it matters if someone asks you if youâre okay. It reaches into the darkest place and offers a hand saying âIâll listen.â And that could genuinely change someoneâs life.
#ninjago zane#zane ninjago#zane julien#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising ninjago#Reposting this after deleting the last time I tried to post this because I posted it on the wrong day lol#just my unorganised thoughts#I actually decided to start writing that scene I described so when thatâs finished Iâll post it#As always feel free to reblog or comment with your opinion/take on the conversation!#ofc no hate tho I do this out of immense love for the series#unless you wanna hate Misako
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Hiiiieeeeyo!! This oneâs self indulgent đŁ!! But a ghost/aparation/poltergeist whatever-you-wanna-call-it reader x Art?? And even more self indulgent, they were lovers when the reader was alive?
OF COURSE!!!!!!! I LOVE THE IDEA SO MUCH
AFTER DEATH DO US APART
I have always been an atheist, I lived laughing when people promised me that there was an afterlife, or some kind of omnipotent god who was always watching, but after being dead for almost ten years now, the only thing I can say, is, I wish that was the case.
Instead of the black hole of nothingness I expected when I died in that car acident, I was met with the fate of being an entity, not a zombie as I first supposed, as no one could exactly see me and I couldn't have contact with anything. I ended up with a fate worse than death itself, the absolute boredom of just being able to watch...
I decided to ''make the most'' of my situation and follow my family around, while also trying to decipher what the hell I was, I didn't think ghosts existed, but it also appeared I was the only one too with this sick fate....Was this some kind of punishment from the same god I mocked years ago...?
I don't know, but I felt lonely, of course I would, there was no one to talk to... or to even touch. I said earlier I tried to follow my family around, making sure they were doing okay, but one person I wasn't being able to find was my boyfriend, I got into the car accident with him but after years of searching, or stalking my family waiting if they said something about him, I was met with nothing, no words were spoken, his name vanished from their tongues, from their memory...But how could that had happened..?
Was he also a ghost...? Was he some kind of creature now..? I could feel my (not-there) head hurting somehow each time I thought too much in the matter, and I decided to drop it. While deciding to investigate some new faces from my childhood neighborhood, I ended up ''staying for dinner'' with a family of four, the couple had a little girl and a boy, and they seemed happy enough for me to stick around to lift my spirits (get it?). I was laying on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling and thinking about my old life, how I missed my dairy cup of coffee, touching myself, my boyfriend's lips on my cunt as I gripping his hair-...You know, the pleasurable things about life.
While I dreamed off my existence, I didn't hear the front door being slammed open, when I finally noticed someone was inside the house was when I heard screams from the mother of those kids, telling them to run. I immediatly fell to the floor, and as if the intruder could see me, I hid out of instict behind the couch I was laying pacefully before. Peeking out when I saw the little girl hiding in a cupboard on the floor, seeing a male walking towards said cupboard, he had probably heard her sobs through the wood, shit.
I stepped out, I knew I couldn't touch anything or anyone, let alone save that poor girl that was going to be murderer by what appeared to be...a clown...?
It was wearing a black and white pattern costume, black fluffy pom poms and a small top hat, but was made me widen my eyes was the blood that tinted and drenched the costume and the man, he was gripping an axe, wriggling his fingers on it as he silently made his way to the cupboard the girl used as hideout. Maybe it was the shock or my memories, but right away, I didn't recognize such familiar costume...
As the clown opened the cupboard, I threw myself on him, and surprisingly, my fingers made contact with the back of costume, my arms quickly wrapping around his shoulders as I made both of us fall down on our back. Maybe it had been a bad idea, because for the first time in ten years, that hurt like shit. I coughed and tried to roll on top of him as the girl ran through the opened front door, I strandled his hips, jaw clenched in pain and tension as I sat on top of him, my hands grabing his collar when my heart dropped.
''What the actual fuck-?'' I asked to no one as my head decided to iluminate me with the recognition of my boyfriend from ten years ago, the one who supoosedly died too...But now was changed- Now was covered in blood, Shit- his fucking costume. This was his costume when he acted on the circus-
The clown stayed in what appeared to be shock too- before he dropped his widened eyes and parted lips, which were now painted black, clenching his jaw and hardening his glare immediatly, kicking my side, and surprisingly again, it made contact. I was threw to the floor next to him and clunched my side, coughing.
''Damnit- What the hell are you doing, Arthur-?!'' I asked, not letting myself froze in shock from this whole ordeal. He then turned the tables, me strandling him but under, him between my legs, the axe forgotten on the floor too away from me to stab some sense into his head.
I looked at him with ragged breaths, gulping softly as he just looked down at me, eyes devoid of any emotion apparent, black holes staring into my own, frightened from what I have seen him covered with, imagining what he had done to that poor family. We tayed in silence for what appeared to be a long time before his right hand shoot up, I flinched, gasping softly and almost daring to close my eyes when his hand made soft and gentle contrast with my skin...The first time in a long time I have been touched this gently...like he used to. I could feel my eyes softening, almost forgetting in what ways we had met again. His face hadn't ''changed'' but it was as if his facial features were more pronunced, as if they were prosthetics, his eyes dead and his face decorated with the exact same makeout he did for his shows, those same shows I attended...
''What has happened to you, my love...? Where have you been...? I have- I have searched for you so much...'' I said softly, he ''seemed'' angry, serious or just silently devoid of any emotion, but the way he caressed my cheek, his thumb on my lower lip, slightly parting my lips as he used to...He had changed, and I was sure he also wasn't human, but right now, when his eyes also softened and changed when I spoke, almost looking gulty but still not parting his lips to explain himself, to tell me what has happened.
He shook his head silently at me, his eyes holding the first emotion I have seen on him since I met him again, sadness. His eyes slowly lifted from my figure to my own and he leaned closer, his hands coming down to my shoulders, as if he was trying to hug me, as if that motion he had done again and again years ago, it was now unusual, as if he hadn't hugged in a long time...
I instinctively hugged him back, almost crying when my hands made contact with something again, with him...
''Why...Why don't you-'' I gulped again, feeling a knot in my throat from all the unspoken emotions from the two of us. ''Arthur...Why don't you speak to me...? Are you okay...-?'' I tried again, and i could almost feel him flinch the moment i mentioned his name, his head resting on my chest as he did years ago, his hands ever so slightly trembling as he cradled me, and he shook his head again.
''You can't...speak?'' I asked in a whisper, almost scared of the answer, afraid that something had happened to my love...even if he was trying to kill a poor girl moments ago.
He nodded, his grip becoming tighter before he lifted his head, black eyes looking into mine. I furrowed my eyebrows in worry, this time it was my grip which tightened, I parted my lips shakily to speak, my hand caressing his cheek as he looked up to me, he felt broken, like someone had corrupted him, taking away the soul of my Arthur, using it to create such crimes...
''Please tell me what happened- I thought you died...There has to be away for you to...tell me.'' I said in barely a whisper, but he heard me, looking away furrowing his eyebrows tightly, a thin line as his mouth as he shook his head, as if he couldn't tell me anything.
I parted my lips to talk again, not understanding anything at all. How was it possible that he could touch and see her while everyone else couldn't, why was he alive and why was she not able to find him after all these years. Why the fuck was he hurting people, were those prothetics...? What was he now...?
But before I could make a sound, as if he knew what I was going to interrogate him with, he lowered his head again towards my chest and collarbone, and I thought he was just going to ignored me before I gasped from the sudden sensation on my higher collarbone. His grip tightened around me, and I could feel my thoughts being ''ripped apart'' from my brain to focus on the kisses and little nips he was giving me.
''Art-Arthur...-! Wait- We have so much to talk-'' I bit my lower lip at the rather ''hard'' nip he gave to my neck on my pulse point, my legs wrapping around his hips as he began to suck and tease all my collarbone, his hands grazing my sides, almost impatiently. It was as if he had changed, no, as if he had been modified, corrupted into a much harsher Arthur...and it almost felt wrong to call him that.
My hands grabbed his shoulders and I tried to push him away before I gasped in delight as he pushed himself higher, kissing ever so softly the side of my lips, one of his hands quickly going behind my head nad pushing my lips agaisnt his own eagerly, as if he had also been waiting for this, and also wanted me to forget about what had happened.
I fluttereed my eyes close as our lips finally made the contact I had been dreaming for years, my hands weakening instantly and going up to cup his face, making out with him in a gentle but familiar way we both learned to love, at least ten years ago. His other hand eagerly caressing down my body before stopping at the hem of my pants, I could feel my pussy throb the instant he decided to put his hand around the hem of the constricting clothes, and pull them down, leaving me in my shirt and undearwear, my pants forgotten on the floor. He never once stopped cupping the back of my head, remembering the movements he had to make with his lips in order for me to melt in his touch.
His bloodied fingers ripped my underwear, his new eager and harsh side showing, and I don't know if I should like it this fucking much- My eyebrows furroweed in pleasure as my legs were parted open by him, two fingers finally finding my clit, instantly moving them in circles, making me buckle my hips from the friction I needed after years of being a fucking ghost and moans escaping my lips between kisses. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't need to look up to know how fucking bad he was grinning, as he always did, knowing how to make me drunk of his touch and abusing that power while also teasing me about it. In this moment, I didn't care that he had probably killed that family, they could go to hell for all I care...
After everything I have been through, I only wanted one thing, and it was him. Even if he had changed, even if he was now a damn monster who killed for fun or who knows why, if that was my Arthur now...then so be it.
I didn't see him smile, but I felt it between kisses, as he began to move his fingers faster, almost too painful for my unused and needy clit. My core throbbed again, harder this time, advising me that I was going to come, and rather quickly, but that was normal considering I hadn't been able to touch myself or be touched for a fucking long time.
''Art-'' He stopped me with a kiss, I could taste his black lipstick at this point, and I probably looked like a mess.
''I'm going- fuck, please don't stop, please don't stop....'' I whispered like a mantra, finally teethering against the edge after so long and letting out a whispered moan, my hands gripping his shoulders, hips shaking, my moans silenced by his lips.
While I came down from my orgasm, he continued kissing and nipping my skin, backing away to glance into my hazy eyes and parted lips, panting raggedly, almost not registering the sound of his costume being pulled off.
As he put himself betweem my legs again, I subconsciously parted my legs and wrapped them around hips, my hands grabbing his jaw and lowering his face towards mine, immediatly kissing him again, more needy this time, my hands behind his head, feeling how he positioned himself agaisnt my wet and aching folds. Unspoken emotions and words being thrown as kisses, as touches, as his hips slowly but securely pushing himself inside of me, forcing a pained moan to come out of my lips, furrowing my eyebrows slightly, nipping his lower lip out of pain.
He was finally halway in and it felt as if my pussy had missed him, streching itself to adjust to his girth, aching uncontrollably and making him groan without any sound against my lips, slowly moving his hips to enter me completely, the head of his cock caressing my walls each time he moved, pressing himself tighly against my cervix before he backed his hips and began to snap forward, repeating the movement without mercy for my sensitive cunt.
''Art-Arthur- fuck- it feels so good...so fucking good'' I repeated, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I gripped his shoulders, nails digging in his skinw ithout shame, but he seemed to not care, just focused in rolling his hips in the way I used to love.
I don't even remeber how many times I came, how much I moaned his name, how many tears rolled down my cheeks from overstimulation. But him being between my legs, huffing silently, kissing my tears away gently as he pounded into me, grabbing my body with his hands tinted with the blood of that family, it felt right, as if I could only be seen, be touched when it was him who handled me,who placed his gaze on me, as it was.
Okay, finally finished!
Disclaimer: It is bad, cringe and poor written, I know.
Explaining: I will explain what really happened, Arthur (Art) and the reader (you) had a car accident ten years ago, resulting in the death of both of you, but an entity (probably the same entity who grants Art immortality in the movies), makes a deal with Arthur before he dies, if he follows his commands, turning him in a puppet to commit crimes, he will keep you safe, and will eventually see you again. Both Arthur and the reader begins to lose their humanity, their memories, the feelings of the real worlds but in diferent aspects and intensities, until they meet again.
Art can't tell the reader anything as it was a deal he made with the entity and decides to distract her by the way he used to when they were alive.
Art is then the only one who can see and touch the reader, as it was promised and granted by the entity, that's why she is a ''ghost'' until Art touches her.
#art the clown#art the clown smut#art the clown x reader#terrifier#terrifier smut#i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism#i need him so fucking bad#iâm going insane#fuck me please art đ#i need a lobotomy#i love my man#i love him#one chance please#please violate my body#please please pleae#just fuck me please#please fuck me#david howard thornton#terrifier 2#terrifier 3
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Thereâs a thing Iâd like to point out that I talked to my girlfriend about recently involving transandrophobia (or whatever u wanna call it, the stuff that specifically affects transmen by a significant margin). So first off I think itâs important to point out that transphobia is something ALL trans folks experience, and is something we should be fighting together, rather than infighting. Additionally, transmisogyny is always something to look out for and I want it to be clear that transmen 100% are capable of and DO perpetuate transmisogyny, often without even realizing it.
That said I wanted to talk about the things that are unique* to transmen so yâall who deny transandrophobia understand that there is, in fact, some trans things that transmasculine folks experience.
*this is not entirely accurate, as there are things here that affect intersex and transfems to some extent at all. Unique in this sense would be more like âprimarily affectingâ
Infantilization
Now this isnât something that is exclusive to transmen, there are absolutely situations in which transwomen are infantilized, but the degree in which transmen are infantilized is honestly insane. This whole âuwu soft boiâ thing that has plagued the transmasc community is a huge marker of it. Itâs not a problem to be feminine or cutesy as a transman, but it is to constantly treat all transmen like that whether they want to be or not.
âConfused little girlâ
This one honestly is top of the list for examples of transandrophobia by cis and trans people alike. It also tends to damage nonbinary or transmasculine folks even harder as often we donât conform to gender stereotypes and binary which leads to being accused of appropriating transness. This needs to stop. If you want an example of this being used, literally every transphobic bill regarding healthcare mentions the âremoval of perfectly healthy breastsâ amongst other things that treat us like we arenât aware of what we want simply because we were born female.
âROGDâ or the idea that trans friends are peer pressuring us
So this one is complicated. This is not something that is always unique to transmen. I had to chat with my gf for a bit about this to get her experience as a trans woman to understand exactly what causes this.
In a nutshell, we talked about how when youâre younger, AFAB folks tend to form really close circles in comparison to AMAB folks, especially in high school. What happens then is (as we know, us queer folks tend to travel in flocks lol) when one person in the group comes out as trans, in many cases, others do too. This is where people see a group of once female identifying folks suddenly âturn transâ and they âmust be pressuring each other!â Which consistently dismisses their identities and often leads to these trans men being denied the ability to transition without intense scrutiny.
Other issues that are incredibly fucked up
Alright so Iâm just gonna rapid fire a few other things to drive my point home, this post is pretty long.
- Forced pregnancies in order to detransition AFAB folks
- Mourning of transmens bodies (ex. âWhat do you mean you want top surgery your breasts are so nice!â)
#discourse#trans issues#trans men#transphobia#tw // transphobia#tw//transphobia#trans masc#trans masculine#trans male#transandrophobia#transmisandry#trans#transmasc#trans discourse
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In August, Pennsylvania announced that it would join several countries and 11 other states in the U.S. to allow residents to change their legal gender marker to X, instead of choosing between M and F. Today, more than 7,000 people in the U.S. alone currently have gender X markers on official identification, though not all states allow the marker on all legal forms.
As groups of intersex, trans, and non-binary people continue the fight for an official third gender option in all states and regions, the experiences of those who have been able to change their gender markers to X differ. While some say the change has been massively affirming, others point out that discrepancy between different forms can complicate things. And still others have been surprised by how little theyâve had to think about it sinceâwhich may just be the best part.
To better understand what itâs like to actually live with an X gender marker, we asked seven non-binary people whoâve made the change what itâs been like for them.
Jack(ie) Colquitt, 22
[When I changed my gender marker], I was finally able to openly proclaim how I see myself and how I want the world to see me, and this marked the beginning of those perspectives being synonymous. I felt validated in such a specific and monumental way, and [it] made me feel free!
It was less difficult [to change] than liberating, but the slight difficulty did come with worrying how people would react. The world is still getting used to the singular âtheyâ and to gender-neutral identities. But thatâs what made it more-so liberating, being able to be a part of a nationwide spotlight being shone on GNC people was euphoric! Itâs a small victory; it was beneficial in that it simply made me feel seen, and thatâs all that really mattered.
Sometimes [people understand what it means], and sometimes they donât. It depends on the people, and itâs sometimes easy and sometimes tedious to explain. But it is always worth the effort. Whoever is out there reading this and thinking about whether or not they should make this decision: if you do it for you, and no one else, it will be one of the best decisions you can make.
AC Dumlao, 28
I changed my NYC birth certificate gender marker to X in February 2019. It affirms my identity as non-binary. It was not difficult to change. The self-attestation form is very straightforward and does not require a doctor/therapist note. I simply affirmed that I am non-binary and signed my name to it, and had a notary sign off on it. I do want to note that there is a financial barrier as well as the barrier of finding a notary that one feels comfortable with. I rarely show my birth certificate, so the change was more personal to affirm myself and because itâs something I could do. I think it will be more significant when New York State Drivers Licenses allow the X gender marker.
Chanlar Rose, 22
I identify as non-binary. I actually changed my gender marker very recently, within the past few weeks. This change was something that I had thought about for awhile. In some ways, I felt that it would give me more validation and autonomy when I navigate through spaces in my city. Iâve found that some people are really confused by it, and often in conversations regarding gender markers, I find that people bring up wanting to know what I, or others that identify like I do, were assigned at birth. That can be pretty frustrating and you can tell that some people donât understand how or why that could be intrusive (because essentially they just wanna know whatâs in your pants). Most of the time people just act like Iâm a woman anyway, unless Iâm in spaces where people are more inclusive. Iâm really happy that I changed my gender marker, because it was mostly about me being authentic and honest with myself and the world.
Aidan Hill, 26
I began the process on January 1, 2018. Itâs important to me to live authentically with the rights and opportunities provided to everyone under this constitution. Since 2017, coming out as trans/non-binary was a pinnacle of my life, leading me to run for Berkeley City Council for the November 2018 election, desiring to become the U.S.âs first legally non-binary public office holder, pushing for the gender marker X through the legal system. Since then, I have recognized the much-needed importance and haste for a third gender marker at the federal level, noting the presidentâs rapid anti-trans and anti-womxn legislation, as well as protecting trans women from being sent to menâs jails.
It has meant the world to me. I feel like the state sees my human complexity rather than just a barcodeâŠlike I can be seen as a third gender rather than asked to fill a binary because of what is in my pants. Iâve suffered much less overt discrimination since the gender marker X has made it into the national press.
I live in a progressive city, Berkeley, [California], so gender is normally seen as a social construct rather than being fixed or held indefinitely. Likewise, gender-neutral legislation is not as controversial here as in many other states and cities.
Most importantly, the gender marker X saves lives.
Charlie Arrowood, 32
I was born in NYC but reside in New York state, so Iâve only been able to change my birth certificate. New York City issues its own birth certificates separate from the state and the state doesnât allow for X gender markers on any state-issued documents yet (a group of advocates is working on that). My birth certificate was one of the last documents I changed becauseâand I think a lot of trans people feel this wayâit felt like the most âofficialâ record. I was reluctant to change it until an X was available, because I didnât want a birth record that told the world I was male. If I couldnât have an X on my birth certificate, I was more comfortable having an F than an M, even if that was not the case for a more frequently-used document like a driverâs license. (When I had an F on my driverâs license, I was often hassled, so I changed it to an M for convenience, though I will change it to an X as soon as that becomes available.) I have a very binary, gender-conforming appearance; it was important to me to retain some vestige or documentary proof that I was not cisgender, but it was more important to me to have an accurate document that showed that I was not male or female. I didnât want the world making assumptions about me based on my gender marker, whether physical, social, or otherwise. The privacy arguments around binary trans peopleâs documents apply to non-binary people as wellâI want to change my documents to maintain privacy about my sex-assigned-at-birth and what my body may or may not look like.
Because I donât use my birth certificate often, it hasnât had a big everyday impact on my life, but it does make me more comfortable when I do have to pull my birth certificate out for some reason. I am especially looking forward to updating my NYS driverâs license when I can. Even though it says M, and that helps me avoid confrontation, the same way being misgendered verbally makes me cringe, I cringe every time I have to show an incorrect ID to someone because it is conveying incorrect information about me. The differing state and city policies also mean none of my documents match, so any time I need to show mismatched documents, there is a risk that one or the other will not be accepted.
Nobody Iâve shown my birth certificate to has asked any questions, but I think thatâs because my gender marker hasnât been relevant under the circumstances. I suspect there might be some questions if I used it to, say, obtain a driverâs license for the first time, and I suspect once I change my license, which I use frequently, it may come up more.
Jay Wu, 25
[Changing my gender marker] meant I wasnât walking around with an inaccurate ID anymore, which was a relief, and it also felt validating to know that a government agency was aware of non-binary gender identities. It was very similar to the regular process of getting a new driverâs license. I just had to fill out a straightforward additional form.
Having an âXâ gender marker has helped me realize that most people donât look at the gender marker when theyâre checking ID. For the first couple of months, I expected to get questions from people checking my ID, but I havenât gotten any. I went through airport security dozens of times last year and didnât have the gender marker questioned once. So Iâm not sure whether people understand what it means. (My friends were, of course, very excited when I showed them my changed ID soon after I got it!)
Noah, 22
My pronouns are they/them in English. Since my native language doesnât have an equivalent to singular-they, I use the pronoun âNâ or âenâ in German. I changed my gender marker this August, but not to X, exactly, because the German third gender marker is called âdiversâ (engl. diverse). So thatâs what my birth certificate says now. Only the gender marker on my passport will be X, due to international air travel regulations.
Having my gender legally recognized is something that I wanted ever since it became clear that there would be a positive third gender option availableâas opposed to just removing the gender marker. The other big reason is that I was able to change my name along with it, without having to pay more than a small fee. It wasnât possible to have a positive third gender marker in official documents up to the beginning of 2019. The law is geared towards intersex folks, but the phrasing is vague enough to allow non-intersex folks to change their gender markers, too. I had to obtain a doctorâs letter stating that I have a âVariante der Geschlechtsentwicklungâ (variant of sex development). The law has been heavily criticized by the German trans and intersex community for the pathologizing nature of requiring people to provide a doctorâs letter. It took me a while to find a doctor willing to write that letter, but after that, I had a very positive experience. The clerk at the registry office almost changed my marker to male, though! I think people are still not that used to the idea of there being more than two genders, even though the legal recognition is here now.
Iâve benefited greatly from being able to change my name everywhere, but many institutions havenât adjusted their systems yet. My bank and phone provider address me as âMrâ now, because they havenât incorporated non-binary options.
The primary ID used in Germany doesnât include gender markers. Theyâre only on passports and birth certificates. The only reaction Iâve gotten so far was from the lady who ordered my new ID and driverâs license for me. She called the gender marker âthe transsexual gender,â which I found odd. German media coverage of the new gender marker has almost exclusively mentioned intersex people, so I would have assumed that to be what people first think of when they see it.
Ettachfini, Leila. â7 Non-Binary People on What Itâs like to Have an âXâ Gender Marker.â VICE, 4 Sept. 2019, https://www.vice.com/en/article/what-its-like-to-have-gender-marker-x-non-binary/.
#op#links#vice media#vice magazine#gender#queer#trans#transgender#nonbinary#non-binary#intersex#genderqueer#x gender#x-gender#third gender#gender marker#legal gender#legal sex#sex marker#sex change#gender change#gender transition#transsexual#transsex#transexual#trans-sexual#gender recognition#gender affirmation#usa#germany
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it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.
#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics#right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it.#not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context.#just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one?????#the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect??#the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene????#what's there to hate???#and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly?#i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements.#this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate.#and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space.#this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading.#btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this#for a reason that does not exist#as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION.#like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves.#if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings.#jessica's controversial star wars opinions#sabezra#(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol)#it was written in humor not in hurt :)
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said âthere there buddyâ like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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