#and i thought they were thieves

[s3cr3t-l0cat10n]

So, we've got a new update...

[666writingcafe]

Top Secret!!!!!

A Group Chat Involving Everyone but MC and Luke

Solomon: It's nearly time for me to give MC their preliminary exam. How many stars is MC up to?

Mammon: you serious, bro????

Mammon: you haven't kept track of mc's stars????

Mammon: old man alert

Satan: Four.

Solomon: Thank you, Satan. What other three virtues have been rewarded?

Diavolo: Gratitude from me.

Simeon: Patience from me and generosity from Luke.

Solomon: So, chastity, diligence, and humility remain. I was thinking of having us play Tail Thieves.

Asmo: I love you, Solomon, but no.

Solomon: What's wrong with Tail Thieves?

Asmo: One, it's a childish game.

Lucifer: ^

Asmo: Two, do you not remember how MC behaved the last time you tested them? They were BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND, and it impacted their performance as a result.

Beel: That's true.

Asmo: Any twists you come up with are going to be too predictable.

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: I'm SURE you have a better idea.

Asmo: I do, actually.

Asmo: It involves testing their chastity.

Solomon: Go on...

Asmo: We'll seduce them.

Mammon: that's a stupid idea!!!!

Levi: youre just saying that because youre jealous

Belphie: *laughing emoji*

Beel: *gif of someone doing a spit-take*

Asmo: I'm being serious.

Asmo: During their last stay in the Devildom, I managed to charm them, which gained me access to their deepest desires.

Asmo: They have fantasies involving all of us. Tempting them with those will be the ultimate test of their chastity. If they're able to resist, then they earn the star.

Lucifer: That's actually a well thought-out idea.

Barbatos: ^

Diavolo: ^^

Solomon: *glaring crow sticker*

Solomon: Fine.

Solomon: Who's participating?

Levi: mammon and i are out

Mammon: speak for yourself!!!! the fuck???

Levi: if this is meant to really test mc then everyone has to commit to the bit and you and i both know that youd tap out the minute mc looks at you sideways

Mammon: *glaring crow sticker*

Levi: while ive gained some confidence i still wouldnt be able to maintain my composure long enough to complete something like this

Asmo: I will provide the necessary information, but I myself will not be seducing MC, as much as it pains me to say.

Satan: Of course it would pain you to say that.

Asmo: *eye roll emoji*

Solomon: Do you want to judge with me?

Asmo: I mean, I kinda figured we would, so...

Barbatos: My participation will depend on what I'm meant to reenact.

Asmo: Are you afraid it would conflict with your duties?

Barbatos: Yes.

Diavolo: Well, if you're worried about me stopping you, don't. It wouldn't be fair of me to expect you to sit this out if I'm planning on participating.

Mammon: WHAT??????

Levi: bro

Levi: he literally jumped out a castle window to be with mc

Levi: he's THIRSTY

Belphie: Unfortunately.

Asmo: Not to be the bossy brother, but Lucifer, you aren't allowed to back out.

Lucifer: Wasn't planning on it. I know where I stand in MC's mind.

Satan: You know, I think I might chill with Mammon and Levi. I thought about joining in the fun, but I don't think I have it in me to see things through.

Satan: And before anyone chimes in, no, it's not because Lucifer confirmed his participation.

Belphie: We know. If it was, you'd be trying to one-up him.

Satan: Thank you, Belphie. I TOTALLY wanted that out there. *eye roll emoji*

Beel: I'm in.

Belphie: Quick question: would it be fair of me to participate?

Asmo: Actually, you'd be PERFECT for this. You can argue that you know MC more intimately than ANY of us. You'd know what buttons to push to make them really sweat.

Belphie: Okay, cool. I'll do it, then.

Simeon: Me too.

Levi: lol what

Mammon: ayo, do you even KNOW how to seduce someone, simeon?

Simeon: How do you think I'm able to write some of the scenes in TSL?

Levi: well okay then

Solomon: So, to confirm: Lucifer, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, and Simeon are definite participants, Barbatos is a maybe, and Mammon, Levi, and Satan are sitting this out?

Nine people liked Solomon's message.

Mammon: the three of us can keep an eye on luke. we can either help him run the cafe or take him out someplace fun.

Levi: you know you seem awfully chummy towards luke lately

Mammon: we bonded during our fairy hunt.

Asmo: Then that settles it. Solomon and I will meet with the volunteers for further discussion.

[alwayshinny]

Lil Prongs and Lil Padfoot - 🦌🐾

AU where Jily and Blackinnon both have sons on July 31st, and the prophecy is about two brothers who will vanquish the dark lord.

Harry and his godbrother form their own Marauders group (which obviously includes Ron), and yes, Harry recognizes Ginny a lot sooner thanks to his brother. Lil Black has his heart set on another redhead, aka Harry's little sister, and he doesn't know how to come to terms with his feelings.

[yashley]

“I’m Vex. Zahra’s very close friend.”

bonus:

[mossterious]

Leverage but Star Trek:

Nate- A human (ex) star fleet captain who’s son was killed by a war star fleet started

Sophie- A trill <3 She’s relatively new to this host body, and in her old body she knew Nate. Unlike most trill, she never actually uses her trill name, which is what is regarded as her ‘real’ name.

Elliot- A Klingon who worked as a mercenary for years and years, primarily for Moreau. He realised that he was no longer fighting or killing honourably, and switched up his act, acting as a guard and retrieval specialist on various ships, never sticking around in one place for a long time

Hardison- A human tech prodigy who was offered very early acceptance into star fleet academy, but he quit after like one semester because everything was too slowwww, and went off on his own after stealing a ship and forging the papers for it, hacking his way through the Alpha quadrant

Parker- A Vulcan who’s autistic even by Vulcan standards. Shes logical, but it’s her very specific logic that makes sense to literally nobody else. She didn’t actually grow up on Vulcan, instead on a series of planets and ships as an orphan, before meeting Archie and living on his smuggling ship. She then set out on her own, much like in the show.

[agathaharknes]

Remembering that one time my childhood bestie turned crush revealed to me that she once kissed a girl at a party whilst drunk, and I have never been able to emotionally recover from that.

[sleeps-au-bag]

i am of the belief that mamakechi absolutely loved akechi with all her heart and would never leave him unless something made her.

in a crow and his flock of thieves, she lives. goro is very close with him mama, especially since That Day. she's been doing everything she can to make sure he doesn't grow up to be Him and she's been doing a pretty damn good job at it. she's been giving him affirmations whenever he feels like he's becoming like Him, encouraging him to stand up for others, making sure he grows up to respect others, and, most importantly, never teaching him about his father.

never once has His name come out of her mouth ever since they were born. and it never will come out of her mouth. if there's anything He thrived on, it was the attention on Him. whether it was actual attention or even Him on someone's mind, it gave him power. she decided to take what power He had over her and throw it away. it was sweet revenge against Him. her children would never turn out like Him, not under her watch.

akechi is closer than ever to his father, although he doesn't know that nor does he care. he's had multiple chances to learn about Him throughout his life but mama said that giving Him attention was giving Him power, so he won't give Him power. simple as that.

[keeps-ache]

okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃

[caitas-cooing]

Thinking about 358/2 days again...

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

just saw the dnd movie. my favorite character was the autistic paladin

[possumkingluca]

dnd story time so.. the party I'm in was camping out on this island to avoid a giant fucking sea serpent swimming around while we figure out what we're gonna do about it, and while on final watch our druid saw a sahuagin peeking around the corner at us.. so they woke us up because gross fish person alert and also what the fuck are they supposed to about it. They might speak every language in the phb but the very specific ones??? They don't speak fish person. Also they only have a +1 in charisma and also are the bluntest mf alive they are NOT allowed to speak. now we are awake and very clearly see it trying to hide behind a rock and we start plotting how the hell we're gonna deal with it. I play an eloquence bard. I have universal speech. I wont be able to understand it because universal speech is a dumb feature BUT idk we can play charades or some shit. Draw in the sand maybe ???

fun little fact: i fucked up a conversation with someone really bad the prior session (i was eepy and couldn't think very well :((( ) and ended up buying a dried fish from them to escape. fighter: you could offer them that fish me: i could..... .....does that count as cannibalism??? DM: ...probably not So i walk up close enough to it so i can use universal speech and held out the dried fish me: would you like fish?

sahuagin: *very carefully walks up* and

ok. so the sahuagin goes back into the water for a minute and.. out comes, a lot of them. ten fish people. ten. me: ... *turns back to our druid* WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE FISH. druid: *starts frantically catching fish* so we start a like fish conveyor belt with our druid catching the fish, throwing it to our fighter, and our fighter tossing it to me to offer. eventually the fighter joins in fishing and luckily they both have a good survival skill so it goes pretty quickly. then out comes one that is a.. woman? maybe? i don't know fish person anatomy, why would i know fish person anatomy this is like the third/fourth time i've ever seen an ocean. and while she's fucking staring me down another one comes out who is much. much. bigger. we just mugged a young dragon (yeah this session started out with us mugging a dragon, happens all the time don't worry about it) and this fucker is the like same height as it. and he has four arms. (kackles is that you ???? (no it's not he's much shorter. and also a bug.)) me: ..do i need like two fish for each of his pair of arms????? priestess sahuagin: touches her finger to my head me: oh shit she gon blow my head off she did not. instead she cast tounges on me. great. because I WANT to have a conversation with these people. so they complement our fishing ability and big fuck asks us if we take commissions.

me: what the fuck do they mean commissions druid's player: say yes. me: ...yes. they want us to catch 50 pounds of fish.

They are offering payment though! Got a pearl necklace worth about 1000 gold.. some earrings worth i think about 500 gold idk i forgor and a big ass gold ship steering wheel worth who fucking knows what the hell ??? They claim they got these from 'the beast' which we assumed meant a ship Now back to the 50 pounds of fish issue. We do have a solution to this problem. Kill the sea serpent and take 50 pounds of meat from it. Solving two problems at once. We give these guys their fish, and we deal with the serpent. But because we are sometimes smart I ask about their opinion on the serpent so we don't like accidentally kill their friend or some shit cause that'd be certified not good

"We care not for the monster who protects the beast" ...sea serpents eat ships.... W A I T. TANAZIR?????

so. this campaign started as a Strixhaven campaign that we continued on after graduation. currently one of our many tasks on our quest to save the world (why are we here what are we doing none of us should be here besides the fighter) is to find where all the founder dragons are hiding. We've already found Shadrix Silverquill and we guessed that Tanazir Quandrix (women in S.T.E.M!!!!) was around here and during mine and the fighter's watches we saw her come out of this whirpool thing and talk to the sea serpent. these fuckers stole from one of the fucking founder dragons. how? how the hell do you accomplish that??

and also now we know that the serpent is friends with Tanazir so we can't kill it because that'd probably piss her off and uh let's not do that. (also we should probably return the treasure to her :((( our money :(((( don't you know robbing two young dragons of their entire hoard is simply not nearly enough money ??? (we are greedy and also lunatics)) anyway okay so not killing the serpent. and we are 100% gonna have to backstab our new fish friends :((( we end up deciding to send our fighter (who has a cloak of the manta ray) and our druid (can just.. become a fish) to go into deeper water to hopefully find some tuna, while me and our wizard (he's here too, just has been comatose cause his player wasn't here. gonna be a fun surprise for him next session.) stay here to make sure the sahuagin don't think we're scamming them or something. Also i can compensate for our wizard's zero in charisma, and while our fighter has a -1 in charisma he was a quandrix student so he'll probably be ok if they encounter the serpent maybe. the sahuagin asked how long it would take for us to get the fish (it would take maybe a week maybe longer) so with a not technically a lie (the DM let me use persuasion thank god because i can't get lower than a 21 in persuasion (silver tounge rizz)) i convinced them that'd it take about two weeks BUT if they provided us a harpoon (the fighter wanted one) it'd only take a week-ish Before our druid and fighter could escape the sahuagin start circling around them.. singing? some ritual's going on, mayhaps blessing their trip. maybe. and the fuckin priestess one comes up to me and starts having a conversation. Priestess Sahuagin: Are you of faith? Me: /i don't follow any gods i'm just an english major. welp the founder dragons are like almost gods so Shadrix can count sure why not/ ..yes Priestess Sahuagin: *asking me if i like the spell guiding bolt* (I forgot exactly what she said) Me: *considers the like 10 times i've ended a fight with a well timed crit using guiding bolt* yes. Priestess Sahuagin: *something about their shark god i don't remember i'm tired* druid's player: he's pretty neat Me: ...he's pretty neat. Priestess Sahuagin: He is pretty neat :) (help) anyway so I planned for our wizard and i to kinda hang out on the beach while we wait for the other two to return. the sahuagin had other plans. They ask if we have gills (no) They ask what we are

me: do they want an actual answer ??? DM: yeah me: ...im a lizardfolk ...*points at fighter* he's a dragonborn *points at druid* they're a tiefling (the sahuagin have no fucking clue what the hell (heh) a tiefling is and maybe that's for the best) and *points at wizard* he's a human. Sahuagin: *death staring our wizard* that explains why he's elf like. ??why does everyone have beef with elves?? let's just leave out the fact our druid has an elven husband. and be glad we didn't bring him with us on this trip. i mean he's not a sea elf but y'know anyway so the session ends with our wizard and i about to be kidnapped and dragged to the ocean where the sahuagin live (im pretty sure we were given potions of water breathing which is good cause i would prefer not drowning.) and the druid and fighter setting out to go get a shit ton of fish pray for our souls

@datfatnerd are you proud us

[poor-ciceros-voring-again]

This is pretty neat so far I think. It's nice to be able to see how everyone is connected so far

[raifuujin]

Because of the new thief showdown (that I've been voting in but otherwise not reblogging things because The Boy has been doing fine so far) I have. Some thoughts.

The image of Kaito consistently making it pretty high and usually just joined by adult thieves is just a funny image. Joker's hanging in there this time, so he has company, but. idk, the teens who are moonlighting as thieves while doing schoolwork against the career criminals is just always a fun thought. Kaito has a slight advantage in being a legacy of his dad's career makes most (in universe) people think of him as older, but. Kid be kid.

The actual main thought of Kaito being a pretty good thief, but it pretty much being accidental. What with the revenge motive, and him being Kid solely to paint himself as a giant white target to lure the people he wants revenge on. Him only thieving early on to get that attention on himself, and then limiting what he steals later after he figures out how he can get revenge. (By beating his enemies to what they're trying to find and destroying their goal. Which he could do stealthily, but he also seems to like giving them a giant middle finger by very publicly stealing the suspected MacGuffins and escaping from under both enemy and police noses. Very much playing with fire just to be irritating.)

Like. Kid is a good thief, and he will put effort into his given job, but. The fact that it's overall just a means to an end, and occasionally stealing stuff outside his own goals mostly because of a direct challenge, and he has fun with it. But part of the fun of Magic Kaito and playing around with it's story and characters is that Kaito really doesn't need to be a thief. He happens to be one because of a variety of coincidences, bad choices, and probably some mental hangups around trying to emulate his father. His character is malleable, his life could be taken so many directions to either continue his helpful criminal path or resolve it and retire.

The career thief criminals might act on larger motivations or whims, Kaito is a thief because he wants to be a thorn in the side of the people who killed his dad. And sometimes someone says 'I've made it impossible for you to take this without getting caught' and he responds with 'bet' and that's all fun, but he's mostly there to be a lovable brat.

[killerboyratzmp3]

i dont care what the thieves gallery says edgin is multiclassing. he has like 1 level in bard and the rest are in fighter.

[youraveragecatastrophe]

[Image description : A screenshot from season 1 episode 7 of the 2019 show Carmen Sandiego. In the faculty room, Coach Brunt is looking at the screen and talking to Professor Maelstrom. /End description]

SHE LIVES!

How many episode had it been since she had actually said anything? Of course the last episode of season 1 is so terrifying, when she's been so discrete and seemingly harmless the rest of the season!

[kingspuppet]

I just think some of the Thieves should be really close friends....yeah friends...with Goro. >.> Friends that commit the cardinal sin of public hand holding...