#and i think its also Very important to know what improv is

[single-malt-scotch]

idk how to say it but i feel like ppl dont know the difference between lore, roleplay and improv when it comes to mcyt stuff. and some of this may be subjective but-

lore is kind of what lore is in loads of other media right? the world, history, story, concepts... for mcyt that may be lore simply from people's description of their bases (Pearl's base in s9- but its something she sets up and describes OOC), the worldbuilding set up in someone's entire season for themself (ex. Ren with Gigacorp, or the story and ideas built in s8 with Ren & Doc - both of which are contained to just the creators), or some other long term continuity brought through a server/season on purpose that everyone abides by (ex Evosmp's portals and evo signs for the series concept, Shadow of Israphel's world).

roleplay is pretty blatant and I am sure many people get it. servers like Empires are obviously roleplay, for example. In the modern nerd definition it is someone playing a character. For mcyt it may be a whole new name and self, or a variant of their default self playing out some kind of story or something that isn't just their normal content creator self. They may also make their own lore to fit with it, but not everyone goes into carrying a big bag of lore for their roleplay- sometimes its just a simple idea of a character in whatever server theyre in. It could be as simple as Impulse saying hes a dwarf but not providing any actual roleplay as a character, or it could be more concrete but loose (not constantly in character) situation like Mindcrack's B Team mafia, or its as wild as the lore and characters Ren & Doc put on in s8 despite them still openly acting as content creators through many parts of their videos.. Empires, Shadow of Israphel, Witches SMP are examples of more blatant RP focused series with little character breaking that also often have lore created for the worlds, but not all rp actually has to have lore in order for it to happen.

improv refers to the act of acting in the moment or whatever situation is provided. improvising with what is currently going on. roleplay can be seen as a form of improv. i think its important to separate the term from rp though, because not all improv is rp. People coming up with random fantastical line in the moment or acting impulsively to create a moment we all call back to is something that was improvised based on the situation. Bdubs' "he loves me" and grian's replies were not lore or roleplay, it was improv. (and we as fans can certainly do more with it- whether its ship content, making fics that make more to it, etc- but as its 'canon' it is nothing more than improv.) bdubs and grian were not roleplaying characters, there was no lore that made it happen (lore as a term just does't apply here). these people are great content creator and comedians, and that is because they are great improvisors. recognizing when theyre improvising these moments and using the term improv is important to me, and still credits them w the recognition they deserve without confusing people with with 'roleplay' when its not.

make of this what you will, i guess. i just keeping thinking about it not bc i think its annoying or that i am mad at ppl getting this wrong (on my thought of how i feel these terms are defined). but i feel like lore is the One term being thrown around and always applied to a number of scenarios that arent "lore".

[welcometogrouchland]

Had to leave the tag once I stopped getting GIFs and started getting ATJ thirst posts (no shade, just not my area of interest) but anyway. Fall guy good movie I think

[agirlwithglam]

🌟 become your dream girl before 2025! 🌟

THIS WILL *ACTUALLY* CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

do you know how many people are waiting until next year to glow up and actually start to become their dream self? now just think, if you started now, before 2025, how far you would be. how much more skills and knowledge you would have. you're literally getting a head start. so what are you doing dilly-dallying until 2025? heres your guide to ending this year accomplishing everything you need to and starting 2025 with everything you need.

in this post i will include mindset shifts, how to become a better person, actionable advice, actually becoming a new person <3

👑know what you want.

who do you want to become at the end of this year? what does your dream girl look like? what kind of body does she have? her clothes? who are the people she hangs out with on a daily basis- friends?

create a very clear version in your head and use pinterest to show photos of what your goals are- for ex: girls at the gym, journalling, writing, studying, reading, learning, walking, with friends, spending time outside, going swimming, playing sports, doing a skill/ hobby.

you can also find an idol/ an inspiration- a youtuber, influencer, parent, anyone who you look up to and want to somewhat have a similar life like them. (for ex: thewizardliz, tam kaur) whatever is important to you this goes hand in hand with the next point:

👑goals.

any unfinished projects, any goals you said you'd do in the beginning of the year, get them all down on paper. if you've finished any of them, great!- tick them off. but if you haven't then its time to lock in. pick the ones that are most important to you. that you know that achieving these will 100% get you closer to your goal. doing this makes sure you get rid of the ones that you think are "productive" when in reality they just help you procrastinate.

finish any unfinished projects or books you have before the new year begins because 2025 is about bringing in new, fresh opportunities and things. for me personally, i have a few crochet projects that i want to finish before the end of this year so i can start the new year with nothing old from the year before!

👑cutting.

you are going to be becoming a new person- new mindset, new values, new perception on life, etc. the people in your life currently probably won't align with this new version of you. because if the people around you still only know the old you, your growth won't happen because it will feel extremely unnatural without the right people around you. this means you're going to have to decide whether you are letting any of your friends go. if they don't serve you or make you feel happier or bring in any value to your life, im sorry but its time to cut them off.

but of course if you actually have good, kind, loving friends who grow with you and support you all the way, keep them. the goal is to remove the people who don't serve your highest self. not remove the people who you know will be there for you.

but along with this, if you notice that those people are acting a bit more weirdly/ strangely now that you're improving- giving you backhanded compliments, talking about you behind your back, or just giving you a weird vibe in general, trust your gut. those people don't want to see you going to a higher place where you're thriving- keeping them in your life can be terrible for your highest good.

remember that doing this doesn't mean that you're not going to get better because BETTER ALWAYS COMES. god will give you more people who you couldn't have ever dreamed could be so amazing. so never keep toxic people in your life out of fear that you'll be alone forever. (remember: 8 billion people in the world.)

👑mindset.

dont wait to change your mindset only once you achieve the dream body or the best grade- start now. people can take away everything from you but they can't take away your mindset, skills, and knowledge. here are some mindset shifts to develop:

the abundance mindset. know that everything happens for your highest and greatest good only! everything will work out in the end for you because God hasn't put you on this earth to suffer. if you are religeous (God) or spiritual (the universe) or even believe theres a higher faith, why on earth would you willingly believe that your purpose here is to have a bad time? obstacles will come your way and you will make bad decisions and mistakes. but all these jsut contribute to the person you are today and the person who you'll be in the future!

i will make it. believe in your vision and yourself so fiercely that you know in your bones that you will achieve your goals. you will travel the world and discover new places, you will get to retire your parents, you will get to buy expensive bags for your mom, you will be that rich sister/daughter/ wife, you will help people around the whole world, you will have people around you who love and care for you, you will achieve whatever dream you had since you were a kid and whatever dream you have right now. you will you will you will! know this so strongly but also know that i will achieve there one day, but i also am so blessed and grateful for the life i have right now! i have so many privileges and such an amazing life that i would never trade away for anything.

growth mindset if you fail, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. please stop being afraid of failing, be afraid of never trying!! you have no idea how freeing failing is because once you do, then you'll never have that "what if" in the back of your mind, never have that small voice asking what could have happened if you had done that thing. so if you do fail, perfect! that means that you won't waste any more time wondering what would have happened. having a growth mindset means that you know you're human and you'll make mistakes, but that doesnt make you a bad person and it doesn't take away your capability to still accomplish your goals. if you fail be able to brush it off, and keep trying again and again. Thomas Edison had 1000 failed attempts to make the light bulb. yet he learnt from what didn't work, took that into consideration, then tried again. and again. and again. and now? your probably sitting in a room with light that you have because he persisted in his goal!

stay positive always have a positive outlook and perspective of life. look at the beauty and what you have instead of what you lack. feel happy joyful energy vibrate through you everyday. do things that just make you a more positive person in general! feeling happier makes you look 100x more attractive and will change the way you interact with the world!!

👑be a better person.

new year new you right? so its time you up level the way you talk and treat others. because the goal isn't to be A b*tch, the goal is to be THAT b*tch! so going around being rude isn't going to do anything for you. being kind however- having manners, checking up on people, asking how their day was, being charismatic, etc- thats what can get you so much more opportunities! you're going to be kind, but not a people pleaser- ofc prioritise yourself always but also at the same time- if you have made a commitment to be somewhere for someone at a certain time, honor that commitment. be the friend you wish you had.

being mean to everyone just because you were hurt by someone else is not it. yes, so you were hurt. grow, evolve, heal. you're stronger than this. you're stronger than you think. you can overcome anything and you can become an even better person, capable of loving fully and wholly!

misc tips:

change what you consume. start watching thewizardliz, tam kaur on youtube. have an inspiration/ idol to look up to in life.

workout. i dont care if its not one of your goals to have a fit body, but don't workout for that. workout because you love yourself. because its actually proven to make you happier, because you deserve a healthy, fully functioning body.

DRINK WATER. do you know how many benefits something as simple as that has? clear skin, unchapped lips, better digestive health, weight management, better health, feel more alert and energized, better for immune system, increases brain power, eliminate toxins, ETC ETC!

have a morning routine that literally sets yourself up for success. stimulate your mind with reading self help, learn something, study, focus on a skill, do something that makes your mind active.

journal & check in with yourself.- document your progress! write about how you felt after everyday. did you feel esp happy during anything? do you feel satisfied at the end of the day? or do you find that your day made you feel tired and drained? do you feel regret and wished you did more at the end of the day?

diary- links with the earlier point. document the day. you can write about it, or what i also like to do is video myself yapping to the camera. talk about whatever you want and let your mind wander free!

you are that it girl! dress the part, smell good, make yourself feel so good that you just can't help but feel like you can conqure anything!!

make sure you're consistently reminded of your goals. what do you want? why do you want to achieve it? reminding yourself of your goals will actually motivate you and make you stop procrastinating. for me its that i don't want any old projects or books having to continue into the new year so i've made a plan that will definitely get it done before the next year!

[foldingfittedsheets]

A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.

When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.

It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.

Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?

Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.

It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.

I stabbed him with his own pencil.

I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)

That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?

The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.

This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”

I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.

By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.

I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.

All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”

“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”

Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.

Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”

My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.

After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.

[taelophone]

Luigi M; A Look ⋆˙⟡ — A Luigi Mangione Analysis ⋆⭒˚｡⋆. A/N: I am not claiming to know or understand him as a person lol. I simply wanna do a lil surface dive on him as a person to try and shed some light on what I think he's like!

Please note; All links are tweets Luigi himself has reposted, or are things from his mouth that he has typed. VIA Reddit, twitter, etc etc. All retweets will be marked with *

⟡ Luigi as a person (good, and bad)

⋆ After many many hours of scouring this man’s socials and any sort of archive of him I can find, I’ve gathered a handful of interpretations and ideas as to what Luigi was like prior to his surgery. And I say that last part specifically because he showed a v drastic change directly after his surgery, and literally went M.I.A.

Luigi is a very empathetic and intelligent man, this is a surface level fact that we can all agree on. He’s been shown to go out of his way for other people even when he doesn’t have to. But please don’t let that fool you this man is a KEYBOARD. WARRIOR.

⋆ He LIVES for the debate. In fact, he fucking loves debating. I wouldn’t go as far as saying he loves arguing, but if there’s a point being made and he feels strongly about it, he will type pages upon pages of text explaining in great detail exactly why you are wrong.

He’s said time and time before in a retweeted post that freethinking* is a very important part of life, and here’s where I say he’s…a bit of a hypocrite. His love for debate kind of keeps him from seeing another person’s POV, which makes for a hell of a storm when disagreeing with him. In short, he’s stubborn. A very stubborn man, but he is open to hearing the other person out versus not listening to them at all.

And I have a strong feeling his stubborn demeanor coincides with the fact that he knows he’s smart. Don’t get me wrong, he seems like he usually knows what he’s talking about, but that’s the problem. If you tell him about something that’s been bothering you or going wrong in your life, he will spit out 99 solutions for you. He’s the kind of guy where he will probably resort to both comfort AND unsolicited advice, although its likely he got better at the latter later down the line.

⋆ Shying away from him being stubborn, there’s another key part of this man that I DONT SEE BEING TALKED ABOUT ENOUGHHH OMG. SASSY MAN. SASSY SASSY SAASSSSYY MAN.

You can expect shade, eye rolls, silent treatment, head shakes, and possibly even a snarky comment from him. He’s all about becoming a better person and stuck on self betterment, but he is not afraid to show his visible disdain for something. He has very dry and unexpected humor, but he doesn’t realize it. He’s funny in a way where he doesn’t mean to be.

But when he’s trying to make a joke? Oh god help me he’s so so so cheesy and so corny that it makes you just wanna curl up and die (but no seriously, he’s so corny that it’s funny). His sense of humor is so cheesy, think old vine and 2018 humor.

⋆ Another key part about him is his love for travel, and being a “geek” by nature! This man loooooovesss his Pokemon, let me tell you. Was in a whole subreddit dedicated to Pokemon go, word committed for half a page about backpacking essentials, and was almost always posted up somewhere that wasn’t his house. I can’t say he’s the type for spontaneous trips, as the only time he has been known to take was during the beginning of his breakdown.

Because of this, I feel like he’s more likely to be a marvel and MCU fan. He also read a couple of the Harry Potter books, and we can assume that he liked the series enough to rate them 5/5s lol

⟡ My takeaways. Deeper analysis

⋆ Luigi gives me massive INTJ vibes. Contrary to popular belief, I feel he’s more introverted rather than extroverted. He’s expressed clear comfort in solitude, and aligns perfectly with the personality category.

INTJ description;

“INNOVATIVE,INDEPENDENT, STRATEGIC, LOGICAL, RESERVED, INSIGHTFUL. DRIVEN BY THEIR OWN ORIGINAL IDEAS TO ACHIEVE IMPROVEMENTS.”

However, I could see him being an ISTP, who are characterized as

“ACTION-ORIENTED, LOGICAL, ANALYTICAL, SPONTNEOUS, RESERVED, INDEPENDENT. ENJOY ADVENTURE, SKILLED AT UNDERSTANDING THINGS.”

⋆ He’s a very big geek! More than likely has a soft spot for nostalgia content or things that remind him of childhood. We can expect him to be into things like Ben10, Cartoon Network, old Nickelodeon, and other shows such as The Office, Law & Order, true crime, and philosophy content!

⋆ Expect him to be a giving lover. Would absolutely love words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service. He’d be more than willing to give you gifts and shower you in lavishes, but it’s not his main love language as he believes love goes beyond materialism and who can spend the most on who. Handmade gifts are a go! Expect 3D printed trinkets, pictures, cards, etc etc.

⋆ Absolute communication god. He’s stubborn, but he’s not stubborn enough to not tell you when something is wrong. It’s just not his speed and he thinks it’s pointless to not tell someone, especially your partner, when he’s upset or what’s got him in a bad mood. He also expects this same behavior from you as well. The whole “I don’t wanna tell you what’s wrong” shindig would annoy the FUCK out of him. FAST.

⋆ He doesn’t give possessive or jealous lover type ngl. Growing up with two sisters and being absolutely showered in female companionship, he understands how that could possibly make you feel and doesn’t even blame you for it. As a result, he’d be extremely understanding if you were friends with men.

⋆ Please don’t ever get in an argument with this man lmfao. That is one battle you cannot and WILL NOT win. If it’s petty and a matter of “I didn’t say so and so,” he WILL show up with receipts. Would very much start busting out his big boy words just to confuse you. Catch him throwing old English into the mix. But if it’s a legitimate argument, and you have a reason to be upset, he will apologize before it can even get off track.

⟡ Luigi’s Brain

⋆ Alright kids here’s where we get a little controversial. What’s going on in Luigi’s mind?

I just wanna start this section off by saying I am not a licensed psychologist, nor do I major in psychology. I have no ties to this topic whatsoever, and am just speaking from what I’ve seen in myself, and what I’ve seen in him.

Neurodivergence. Luigi has a habit of exuding very neurodiverse behavioral patterns that I could tie to one of two things. Autism, or OCD.

⋆ Luigi openly expressed a lot about his wills and wants on his various social media platforms, and one thing I’ve noticed is his strong need or drive for self-improvement. Please don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly important to want to improve yourself and that is a perfectly healthy goal to have. However, Luigi’s drive for self-improvement and ‘getting better’ had a direct impact on his relationships, lifestyle, and more. This is likely what influenced his 6 month period of self-isolation and cutting off his family members.

Perfectionism “type” OCD is a branch of the umbrella term of OCD in which can be identified by repetitive behaviors, such as excessive exercise, something he continued to engage in even with a bad back, insistence on specific routines or ways to do things to achieve perfection, and occasionally rigid and inflexible thinking patterns, as I described him being likely to have above.

not everyone experiences OCD the same way, and me and Luigi are obviously going to experience it differently considering we are two completely different individuals. As someone with perfectionism OCD, I am just calling what I see in my eyes.

⋆ I saw someone make the argument a while back that Luigi could possibly be a narcissist, and while I don't necessarily deny that he can come off as pompous in some of his tweets, I do not think this is the case.

For Luigi to be a narcissist means that he wouldn't be able to make meaningful connections with people around him. Every person that has met or come into contact with Luigi only had good things to say, but I'd like to focus on his...straightforward or out-of-touch* tweets.

Luigi is a no-nonsense man. He's very left-brained and thinks as such, literally. He demonstrates a tendency to solve and think and plow through anything he registers as a problem. Have you ever asked "well, why can't we just print more money?" when told about the cash crisis? That's exactly whats going on in this tweet.

His first instinct when faced with the topic of Japan's birth rate is to try and solve it. Luigi may be hyperfixated on stats and data, which would clarify why he allegedly word-vomited to the hoes about birth rate data. He's not trying to come off as rude or ignorant, and frankly, I don't really think his tweet is that crazy either, he just might not know that this isn't something considered a social topic.

I feel like we're ignoring a lot of his more out-of-touch* (re)tweets, though. Scrolling through Luigi's page, I can understand what he's trying to get at, though lol. He's made it very clear that he's an intense supporter of complete equality*, he doesn't want anybody to be undermined in their contributions to society. Regardless of gender, sexual identity, race, etc. But again, he's thinking so literally and has trouble effectively communicating that in a way that is "neurotypical." This paired with the way he word vomits, and just his overall typing style and cadence, It just feels like he may be on the spectrum!

I do not have a link for this as his Reddit account was fucking obliterated, BUT, I do remember it being rumored that Luigi was apart of several neurodivergent support groups and subreddits!

I hope I helped humanize him a bit more for you guys! Lmk what you think of this little summary as it’s my first time doing something like this EVER lmfao😭

[feverdreamjohnny]

"Why There Will Never Be a Peeb Adventures" otherwise known as "The Peeb Adventures Pre-Mortem"

Since 2020, I've made a good chunk of games. Hell, even though I've been doing this for 10 years to date, the majority of my progress as a creative began over the course of this 4 year period.

Out of all the games I've made - or otherwise had a hand in - there is only one that's apparently struck a chord so deeply with people that to this day I still get messages and comments asking when it will come out.

The title of this post already explains the whole deal so I'm not gonna be dramatic about it right here. As per usual, I will instead get heart-clutchingly dramatic about the subject by the end of this story.

I felt the idea of a "Pre-Mortem" might be a fun way to talk about games that will never be finished. Maybe I'll make more of these down the line for other old games, who knows.

"The Incredibly True Origins of Peeb Adventures" or "Wow! I Hate It!"

Peeb Adventures began as a gift game for my long-time friend Aaron. It was simple, mostly functioning as a fun little gag that stemmed from a 3D model I made of a character he doodled during a drawpile session. I gave Peeb a grapple hook just because I wanted to experiment with swinging mechanics and felt the gag gift was a great space to toy around in without having to actually ask myself how on earth I'd want to structure a game around a grappling hook. Foreshadowing!

Eventually, the gag gift did that classic thing all developers have experienced before where your game spirals out of control and grows into a hideous monster, and what started as a fairly abstract grappling toy convergently evolved into that dreaded state we call a "3D Mascot Platformer."

I made a very short demo in the summer of 2020. It went absolutely nowhere, and after an idol of mine caught wind and asked to play it (before sending about 3 paragraphs of feedback suggesting how to improve what was, in my view, a trainwreck of baby blocks stacked on top of eachother), I shelved the project.

"The Absolutely Tremendulous HPS1 Adventure of Peeb" or "My Friend Jam Suggested I Revive the Project and So I Did"

Shortly after Peeb was shelved for the first time, I joined a community of game developers called Haunted PS1. For those not in the know, HPS1 was essentially the nexus point for "retro horror games" in the indie sphere, and a lot of the resulting deluge (non-perjorative) on itch.io can find its roots in this community.

HPS1 was a good place. Lots of nice, talented people willing to tolerate the kind of mindless riffing I often do in voice calls, anyway. I made a decent chunk of friends there, some of which I'm still quite close to, even today.

HPS1 has this tradition called the HPS1 Demo Disc that began in 2020, and with the year coming to its end, there was talk of a new one set to arrive in spring 2021.

Unlike the first demodisc, however, 2021's disc required you to submit a game in-progress to a panel of judges. They'd then give their yay-or-nay, and you were either in or out.

One day, I was musing over the fact that I didn't really have anything to submit so I would likely have to sit out of 2021's disc. My friend, Jam, who you might know as the developer of the Heilwald Loophole (or Beton Brutal) suggested I consider reviving Peeb Adventures as my submission to the demo disc.

Why did I follow through on this? I don't know. It's funny to think a scenario this simple was the launch point for my career.

Over the next 6 months, I worked on turning the absolutely horrendous gag game into... Something still kinda trite but at least playable. I had some help from my longtime teammate drurylain, my longtime friend Aaron (the creator of Peeb's original design), and my longtime spiritual uncle Tim, and with our powers combined... A new kind of demo experience where you don't do anything of particular note besides swinging around was born.

Also quite important: the very same drawpile session that spawned Peeb also spawned Orbo, who would also make his own appearance in Peeb Adventures as a recurring side character (since I felt like Peeb needed a friend).

"Go! Incredible Friendship Unites in the Gameosphere! Peeb and Orbo are Born!" or "Peeb Adventures: Coming Never"

So the demo for Peeb Adventures was finished early March 2021, and the demo disc went live on itch.io on the 25th of the month.

The demo disc then proceeded to do a backflip and pick up a LOT of traction online. Which then meant Peeb itself was catching little bits of the traction in its mouth and smacking its lips.

I went from "guy who makes games for nobody" to "guy who makes games for that one very specific brand of teen on twitter who loves the object head show", and I was riding high.

Fanart poured in. People showed a lot of love. I was dazzled by it all, really.

Despite the love for the game and the potential on hand, progress was stagnant. My group of friends and I all got together in a google doc and wrote an entire planning bible for the game. Game mechanics, story beats, twists and turns, the whole thing. Despite having the structure lined up, I had other ambitions and began working on a multiplayer deathmatch game that quickly overtook my work schedule.

Peeb sat on the backburner, but at the time I still wanted to finish it one day. My main excuse was "well, I just need more money! If I'm going to work on this game it's gonna need more than one fulltime person and I can't just ask people to work for free!" That excuse worked on me for a while.

"I Don't Think I Want to Play With You Anymore Peeb!" or "There's Such a Thing as Too Much Love"

A while had passed at this point. My ambitions hadn't just grown, they'd completely shifted. Before long, I found myself working on yet another demo for the 2022 HPS1 Demo Disc, "The Spectral Mall."

Nowhere, MI wasn't just some random toy for me, but the culmination of all my love into one game. Despite its silly demeanor, the game was a product of a lot of pain, and even now I still desperately want to finish it. Except I have to make money to live, so... Oops!

Anyhow, there was a shift in demeanor for me during 2022. You have Peeb, a game that I made on a whim as kind of a joke with friends, and you have Nowhere, MI, a game that meant the world to me during really dark times.

And you know what? There were a lot of people that wanted Peeb. People that never stopped asking me about it.

I realized while working on Nowhere that I didn't really know what I would even do if I ever had the chance to work on the full Peeb Adventures. Not only did I find the nagging kind of annoying, Peeb was also something I couldn't really... Wrap my head around?

It occurred to me that Peeb wasn't really "my" game anymore, it was "his" game. The old Johnny.

I'd changed a lot since the game had come out in early 2021. In a year and a half my world got flipped upside down, and... I don't know, Nowhere was way more reflective of who I was now. Sure the humor was still pretty asinine, but there was a shift. It was hard to picture the "Peeb Adventures" people were actually looking forward to when my own sensibilities had drifted so far.

When the Nowhere demo came out along with Spectral Mall, it did... Alright? People liked it, but it wasn't the same as Peeb's release. Hell, even in Nowhere's release there were people pushing it aside to ask the same question they'd been asking every week leading up to it. "When is Peeb Adventures coming out?"

"Goodbye Peeb!"

It was increasingly harder and harder to not look back at Peeb and kind of hate it. It was rough in every respect, and yet it whenever I met people who'd heard of me online, they always cited Peeb Adventures.

Strangers continue to ask me when it's coming out. On rare occasion I'll get someone asking about Nowhere and I'll feel a bit excited anyone else cares about that game besides me and maybe my friends, but most of the time people just ask about Peeb.

To finally answer this question I've been asked for nearly 4 years: There will probably never be a Peeb Adventures.

"Goodbye Johnny."

I like to believe one of the reasons people are attracted to my body of work is because I make games to reach out to other people. That's probably not the real reason, but it's nice to play pretend and imagine your work has more significance than just "ha ha boner."

I put a lot of myself in my games and I rarely hold back, even if an idea is insanely stupid or strange. The result usually becomes something more like a scrapbook than a game.

It's hard to try and expand on a game like Peeb when the Johnny who made it isn't really with us anymore. If I worked on Peeb now, you'd get some kind of irregular frankenstein that'd never be as exciting as the original vision was.

By the time I get around to Nowhere again, am I still going to be this Johnny? Or will the next Johnny look back at Nowhere the same way I look at Peeb now? Who knows.

Anyway, look forward to more games from me and my friends. Even if it's not Peeb Adventures, it'll still be us.

[yasmindifference]

Cheer up prompt #27

An anon and @this-was-a-terrible-idea also requested #27! A popular number apparently lol. I hope you all enjoy! ♡

"--and then Mr. Browsten said that with all the, um, the hullabaloo that it wasn't fair to make us take a test, so he cancelled it."

Tim pauses for breath and Mom hums an encouraging noise. When Dad makes that sound, it means he's not really listening, but he knows Mom's paying attention, even though she hasn't stopped curling her hair. From where he's lying on her bed, he can see her reflection in the vanity mirror, and she's frowning just like he knew she would.

Mom doesn't approve of canceling tests, which means she doesn't approve of Mr. Browsten, because he cancels them all the time.

(Mom says tests are important to know where improvement is necessary. Mr. Browsten doesn't seem to agree.)

"So we watched a documentary instead and it was pretty interesting, it was about puffer fish! Sarah asked what puffer fish have to do with grammar and Mr. Browsten said that learning is its own reward, but I think he just didn't have anything else ready so he took something from Ms. Cappola instead. She's the fifth grade science teacher and I heard her classes watch movies at least twice a week."

Mom tuts, which Tim was expecting, and sets down her curling iron.

"Ridiculous," she mutters. "I don't know why we're paying that school so much in tuition when they can't be bothered to teach you anything. It's a miracle you ever learned to read."

"It's because I'm smart," Tim informs her helpfully, and Mom smiles her special just-for-Tim smile.

"You are," she agrees. "And thank goodness for that. Now, would my smart boy do me a favor?"

Because Tim's smart, he already knows what she's going to ask. He rolls off the bed to his feet. "Curling iron?"

"Yes, please." Mom rolls her chair away from the vanity so he can crawl under it to unplug the curling iron. She plugged it in herself, but that was before she was all dressed up in her expensive dress. "Thank you, Timmy."

"You're welcome," he chirps, crawling back out.

Mom rolls back in front of the vanity, but Tim stays where he is, kneeling next to it so he can watch her put her makeup on. There are a lot of different bottles and brushes and powders involved, but Mom never hesitates. Tim doesn't know how she keeps it all straight.

He likes watching Mom get ready to go out. Sometimes--like tonight--she lets him pick out the jewelry she's gonna wear, and then she chooses her dress and hair and makeup all based on what he picked. Even when the colors don't match, it all fits together like a puzzle...a puzzle she pieces together in seconds after Tim's impulsive choice.

It's really cool.

Tonight, Tim picked pretty, dangly earrings with some kind of red stone (ruby, Mom said when he asked), so Mom picked a black dress. She said it would make the earrings pop, which he didn't get until he saw her wearing it.

Now, he watches her choose lipstick as red as the earrings and asks, "Does the lipstick make the earrings pop, too?"

Mom finishes smoothing it on before she smiles at him. "You tell me."

Tim studies her. The lipstick matches the earrings, but it doesn't draw attention to them the way the plain dress does. He already watched her do her eye stuff, and her eyes look bigger somehow, but they're not colorful like they were when they all went to the opera last week.

"No," he decides. "You went new...neutral?" He waits for her slight nod of confirmation, then continues, encouraged, "You went neutral with your eye stuff and red with your lipstick to make your lips pop."

"Very good," Mom says, smiling. She cups his cheek briefly before turning back to the vanity. "Clever boy."

Tim beams and watches in fascinated silence as she uses some kind of powder. Even though he's staring right at her, he can't tell what the powder actually does. All he knows is that when she's done, her face looks...different. Still pretty, but kinda sharper somehow.

Makeup is like magic, he decides. No matter how many times he watches her get ready, he can never figure it out.

"Can I try?" he asks impulsively.

"Try what?" Mom asks, a little distracted. The cap on one of her bottles is stuck and she's struggling to open it.

"Your makeup!" Tim takes the bottle from her and opens it by using the hem of his shirt to grip it better. Mom can't do that, her dress is all shiny and slippery. "You look pretty, I wanna try."

Mom pauses and then smiles.

"I don't have long before I have to leave," she warns him, "but I don't see why not. Do you want to pick out some lipstick?"

Tim absolutely does. He levers to his feet as, across the room, Dad finally stirs. He's been reading some stuff his assistant from Drake Industries brought by earlier, ignoring them both, but now he says, "Janet" in a weird tone.

"Jack?" Mom asks, even as she directs Tim's attention to the little circles on the bottom of her lipstick tubes that show what color they are. She has a lot of options.

"Janie, really," Dad says. He sounds unhappy, and Tim looks up from comparing two different shades of pink to find him frowning. "You can't mean to let our son--"

He stops mid-sentence and Tim bites back a wince. Dad's in trouble; Tim hasn't seen that look on Mom's face since he told her about his last nanny giving him whiskey to help him sleep when he woke up from bad dreams.

"My son," Mom says very deliberately, "is welcome to express himself however he likes."

Is trying makeup expressing himself? Tim just wants to see if it makes him as pretty as it does Mom.

Either way, that's not a good tone. Tim looks down and concentrates really hard on picking out a lipstick.

"Janet," Dad tries again, weakly. He obviously knows he's in Big Trouble, but for some reason he hasn't apologized yet. Tim tries to psychically tell him to cut his losses and back down, but his telepathy apparently still hasn't kicked in, because Dad says, "It's just that--"

"Do you know what you want to try, sweetheart?" Mom asks, completely ignoring Dad.

Tim looks between his parents, decides to let Dad dig his own grave, and hands Mom the red he settled on.

(If it's the red that most closely resembles the red in Robin's uniform...well, it's not like Mom has any way of knowing that.)

"Excellent choice!" Mom says. She stands up from the vanity and pats her chair. "Take a seat."

Tim does, excited. He's not usually allowed to sit at Mom's vanity.

Lipstick, he learns quickly, feels really weird. He has to sit super still while Mom puts it on him, and it makes his lips feel weirdly heavy, like there's something on them.

Which there is, actually, so...he doesn't know what he was expecting.

Mom hands him a tissue so he can "blot" his lips, just like he's seen her do a million times, and then steps aside so he can see his reflection in the mirror.

"Whoa," Tim says, leaning closer. He makes a few faces, pushing his lips together and out, transfixed by how bright and noticeable they are. It doesn't make him pretty like Mom, but he likes how it looks anyway. "Cool."

Behind him, Dad throws up his hands and leaves the room. He's angry, Tim can tell, but Mom is smiling down at him, so Tim's not worried.

"Do you want to pick eyeshadow next?" she asks.

"Yes, please!"

Prompt #27 was experimentation! Well selected! ♡♡

[dollyyun]

DKP 7.4, FINALE (incomplete draft)

note: this is not proofread, so what you're about to read is the finale in its raw form with horrendous typos, grammatical errors and some paragraphs and even dialogues that don't make sense so don't expect much.

also way below are spoilers/details of the unwritten scenes (also in its raw form aka messy af) again i’m sorry if they don’t make any sense. i promise the revamped will be better. do send asks if you have anything to clarify!

wc: 11.9K

Time eventually became a valuable essence you began appreciating more, as well as cultivating your career, your friendships, your familial ties, and most especially your relationship with the guys that continues to blossom, because days turned into weeks, and weeks slipped into months just like how time slipped between your fingers before you could even grasp onto it a little longer.

Just thinking about the journey you sailed throughout those periods has you breaking into a soft grin while the upturned shape of your lips can be felt on his shoulder, prompting him to cast a quick glance down at you with a raised eyebrow. It is as though the past recollections are a memorable playback in your mind with waves of nostalgia descending on you benignly. 

It has been three months since you agreed to and established a polyamorous relationship with the guys, but it certainly was not all sunshine and rainbows ─ not saying that you often had arguments with them or that your relationship was all toxic. In fact, the guys genuinely and solemnly stayed true to their words in regards to treating you better than they did before.

But at the end of the day, they’re humans too, so flaws were inevitable. There were moments when you got into minor disputes with them and felt infuriated by their actions that ticked you off the same way they felt towards yours. However, a clear rule had been established that was deemed important in your relationship: listen and hear each other out before proceeding to the communication stage, followed by any needed consolation.

Those moments were rare, but they happened, and it is cliché to say this, but after every argument or petty dispute, your relationship seemed to improve significantly each time, and you slowly began to understand each other’s flaws and complexities better with open minds. You also acknowledged that not once did they ever raise their voice or hand at you during arguments, even if anger brimmed in their veins, and you appreciated that, just as you began to appreciate every little thing they did.

To the guys, their love for you outweighs anything else, and they treasure you more than you will ever know, which is why their anger would always be short-lived, as all that mattered to them was you running and seeking comfort and home in their arms at the end of the day. All in all, they had been nothing but amazing lovers in spite of their flaws and differences.

Speaking of differences, the dynamic flow in your relationship is oddly smooth, considering that each of them has a primal instinct of possessiveness towards you, but somehow, they make it work, and no schedule is needed when it comes to the fairness of spending time with you individually. Likewise, how being in a relationship with four guys didn’t feel as awkward to you as it was in the very beginning.

Plus, your friends in Milan were informed of your new relationship status, and they were more than accepting that you’re a taken woman. Initially, you did have some lingering worries about your friend’s differing opinions despite being accepting, but they treated you just the same, only putting a little more distance now with Eunwoo and Wooseok. The two older guys have known and seen how possessive your boyfriends could get, and so they respected your boyfriends enough to establish more boundaries between you and them. But to you, the two men probably wanted to save their hide from your lovers, who are more than capable of doing any form of harm.

As for Jennifer, she still doesn't particularly like your boyfriends, but after seeing how evidently happier you are compared to the years she spent with you, she couldn’t deny that your being in a relationship with them was right and meant to be. Of course, she gave a strict warning to your boyfriends, albeit they didn’t feel threatened by her, about breaking your heart again and taking good care of you on the day she, along with her father and your boyfriends, helped you in moving out.

Moving out of your apartment, especially when it was Jennifer’s father who generously gifted your once-humble abode to you, was honestly a challenging decision because even though you were totally psyched about living with your boyfriends, your apartment held both bittersweet memories of both hardships and ease.

As for Jennifer’s father, aka Mr. Huh, his reaction was not what you expected, albeit he looked a tad astounded after he had been told of your polyamorous relationship. Since he took you under his wing for quite a period of time and regarded you like his second daughter, it was natural for you to feel obliged to formally introduce your boyfriends to him, and you couldn’t lie about how nervous you were for them because Mr. Huh is an austere man who is fiercely protective towards his loved ones and has high standards, but much to your surprise, he seemed accepting and amiable enough to welcome them to the family on behalf of your parents.

Upon watching the interaction between your father figure and the loves of your life, you couldn’t help with the guilt pulling at your heartstrings of making the decision to move out of your apartment as you felt incredibly indebted to Mr. Huh for everything he had done and for supporting you when you had nothing in the beginning of your new journey here. You consulted about living with your boyfriends permanently with both Jennifer and Mr. Huh, and you even apologised to him profusely with tears filling your waterline, but the elder reassured you that he understood your decision and remained a supportive father figure till this day. 

Both Jennifer and Mr. Huh wanted you to worry less about such trivial matters and instead, they genuinely wanted you to be happy with your life and your blooming relationship because you deserved it after going through different stages of tribulation. Just like your boyfriends, your comfort and happiness matter the most to the father-daughter duo.

On the other hand, the guys moved into the mansion two weeks before the actual date of their lease termination over the penthouse that also held memories you made with them. They refused to do it at the very last minute, and plus, it would be convenient for them in advance as they wanted to focus on helping you with packing and moving out after dealing with paperwork and other vital issues at hand.

Moving in was the easiest part, considering you had more help than you would’ve thought, but to unpack your stuff from the boxes was simply gruelling that you had to take a day to take a breather before resuming it on the day after instead. Thankfully, your room had already been meticulously furnished by them, so it lessened your burden as you only needed to unpack and organise your stuff; even so, you felt easily fatigued.

When you first stepped into your designated bedroom, a wave of nostalgia hit you like whiplash in the face while you were in awe at how similar the design and layout were to your old bedroom back at the palace in Seoul ─ the walls were painted in cream that made the room more spacious than it already was, a queen-sized bed with upholstered bedframe that looked like puffs of clouds pressing up against the wall where the windows were nearly situated and by the window sill had ample space for at least four people to sit on top of the white fleecy cushion, your very own personalised makeup vanity corner with a full-length mirror next to it, and a fairly big walk-in closet for your clothes and other storage.

You felt the sincerity and love in their efforts in the way they organised and designed your room, rendering you overwhelmed and tearing up as you felt deeply touched. The guys panicked when a single tear rolled down your cheeks, but you chuckled and reassured them that you were being melodramatic. Of course, you didn’t forget to deliver your utmost gratitude to them even though they insisted that it was nothing and that they were simply doing their job as your lovers.

Frankly, it took you almost a week to finally settle in with the help of the guys, even though they had work obligations to fulfil during the daytime, but that also meant depriving you of being intimate with them. Hence, you took the liberty to organise and create schedules for each of them who would be having individual appointments on different days with you.

The sensation of warm, soft lips pressing into your cheek pulls you out of your reverie as you blink your eyes repeatedly before looking at Jake, who has been observing you with curious eyes. “What got you smiling like that, sweetheart?” He asks with an amused smile, placing his hands on your bare thighs and rubbing them in soothing motions as you are perched comfortably on his lap with your folded legs encasing his outer thighs while he is seated on his computer chair.

“Nothing much. Just thinking about our love-life,” You say lightly with a sheepish smile on your lips, eliciting a breathy yet fond chuckle from him as he leans back into his chair leisurely, his posture no longer as tense as earlier. You take a glance over your shoulder, looking back to see his computer screen that displays data and code that you are unable to decipher while a frown slowly tugs at the corners of your lips. “Are you still not done with work yet?”

You don’t want to sound like a whiny, clingy girlfriend, but this time, impatience is absent from within you. Unfortunately, Jake’s appointment with you clashed with his impromptu work schedule that required him to complete his follow-up tasks. Despite the disappointment, you understood that he must attend and fulfil his work obligation since he’s the head of the security team after all.

So you decided to hang around his personalised office room, but boredom eventually struck you, and your patience was running thin as you watched him in his element. Though it had been half an hour since you settled in his office, you chose to admire his handsomeness that nearly enticed you to pounce on him like an untamed animal to kill the time, but it was ineffective to your boredom. Somehow, Jake was able to sense your dampened, sulky temperament as his work forced him to neglect you for more than it should, and so he beckoned you over to sit on his lap while waiting for him to finish. 

You obviously felt keen and rushed to him, nearly tripping over some wires that had him chuckling at your clumsiness. Your short pleated skirt allowed easy access for you to settle your thighs over the sides of his as you managed to perch on his lap comfortably with your arms around him, to which he didn't mind and instead adjusted his seating position for your arms to wrap comfortably around him.

Every so often, you would rest your chin on top of his broad shoulder and give him tender kisses on his neck in an attempt to ease him whenever you felt his body tense up while listening to the sound of keyboards being pressed behind you. Of course, you did not miss the opportunity to bury your nose into his chest, nuzzling and inhaling his scent that offered you solace with his warmth cocooning you like a safety blanket. Despite being focused on his work, he would smile or press a tender kiss on your crown at your every action that he finds endearing.

Seeing the adorable pout on your kissable lips, Jake chuckles breathily as he grabs your hand before pressing a tender kiss on your knuckle in apology. “I’m finally done with my last task. I’m sorry you had to wait for so long.” He leans back against his chair, his head tilting lightly yet adorably while he gives you a boyish grin that sends familiar flutters to your beating heart. “I’m all yours now, lovely. So what do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I just want to cuddle with you and be close to you like this.” You tell him rather bashfully while his eyes soften as he gazes at you with an unmistakable fondness, knowing that you haven’t gotten the chance to be closely intimate with him alone ever since you settled in the mansion for a week now. “We can also watch some movies after cuddling or make something in the kitchen. Plus, I’m kind of craving s'mores.”

Jake nods his head meaningfully before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on your lips. “Anything my girl wants,” His voice is laced with affection, and his eyes are gazing at you adoringly, which has you feeling all giddy. “You said you want to cuddle, right? We can cuddle comfortably there.”

Holding your thighs securely, Jake rises from the computer chair as he carries you with ease while you instinctively wrap your arms around him with your legs locking around his waist securely. He proceeds to amble across the other side of his office room. “We can do it like this.” He suggests with a mischievous grin, letting himself fall backward while squeals leave your lips as you hold onto him tight, embracing yourself for the incoming impact before he finally lands on the beanbag with a grunt that sounds huskily low and has you feeling something else straight in your lower stomach.

As the last of your giggles wane, you feel a palpable shift in the air around you, something rather raw yet intimate, before noticing the way Jake gazes at you with intense yet adoring fondness as he strokes the back of your head gently with his fingers playing intermittently at your strands. “I’d love to cuddle with you more than anything, but I feel a little tired, sweetheart. Plus it feels nice to hug you like this. What if I fall asleep?”

“Then sleep. You deserve it. Besides, you’ve been working for over two hours." You reassure him, smiling softly as you see how his eyelids are getting heavier with each passing second. You lift your head up for a bit to place a tender kiss on his lips before murmuring. “I love you, Sim Jaeyun.”

Jake smiles lazily against your lips, and just before you can pull away, he cradles the back of your head with his palm and presses your lips into his, kissing you deeply. The kiss feels sensual yet so innocent, his lips moving with yours tenderly in an unfamiliar dance, but soon enough, you feel something hard poking your lower abdomen that has you gasping softly into the kiss. Just like that, the last traces of sleep dissipate as his kisses begin to feel ravenous in the way his lips devour yours, utterly insatiable.

“Jaeyun,” You utter his name breathlessly as he pulls away from your lips, only to be startled when he switches position before you find yourself leaning on the beanbag with your legs being forcefully spread by his frame, barely giving you time to process the change of once tender atmosphere when he leans down and captures your lips in a kiss that demonstrates his desperation for you.

“Change of plans, sweetheart,” Jake rasps against your parted lips as you pant for air. He gives you no opportunity to recover from the nearly heated makeout session when he moves down to assault your bare neck with his ravenous lips, kissing and sucking your skin that forms a new hickey while your breaths become rapid with breathy moans leaving your lips as you buck up your hips, causing your clit to throb incessantly at the sensation of his hard bulge grinding directly at your clothed cunt.

“Are you not tired?” You manage to ask breathily despite your head spinning with desire for this insatiable man. You feel his hand moving underneath the material of your shorts and panties while your heart pounds harder in anticipation as his fingers nearly reach your throbbing clit.

“I’m feeling rather famished for something else,” His husky voice sounds heavenly in your ear, and there is an unmistakable desire in the cadence of his voice, borderline ravenous, that you feel giddy at the thought of him devouring you until you are reduced to nothing. He pulls away, only to meet your eyes and smirk down at you as he sees the utter want in your pretty eyes. His smirk melts into a soft grin for a fleeting moment, murmuring gently. “I love you more, my sweetheart."

Loving Sim Jaeyun is so easy, and you always find yourself falling in love with him over and over again. He is annoyingly mischievous at times, but he never does anything to upset you and tries his best. Even when you have already known that he is the most volatile with his emotions and his past diagnosis with borderline personality disorder, your love for him only grows as days pass. Although you also trust the other guys, you find it most comfortable to confide in Jake about any concerns, just like how you did back in Seoul.

As for sleeping arrangements, well, you don’t really have one with them, but on some nights Jake abandons his own bed just to head over to yours and sleep with you with his head on your chest as he listens to your steady heartbeat, simply because he wants to make sure your heart remains beating. You know that he fears losing you, and so it has become a habit for him to listen to your heartbeat whenever he lies on top of you, anchoring himself to you to reassure his paranoid mind that you’re real.

After Jake’s appointment is Sunghoon’s, but instead of you taking charge in planning leisure activities for the two of you, Sunghoon takes an insistent initiative, as according to him, he has been planning this surprise for weeks now, even before your settlement in the mansion.

Though Sunghoon is confident that you will love the surprise, he can’t lie about how nervous he feels, facing you as he carefully guides you to the awaited location of the surprise with his hands gripping yours, albeit the surprise is in the mansion itself, while your eyes are wrapped with a blindfold.

“Hoonie, this is so silly.” You remark with chuckles leaving your upturned lips, your eyes unable to see anything but the warmth of his hands providing you comfort, and his firm reassures you that he wouldn’t let you walk into a wall or bump into any object. “Why must I wear a blindfold when I could just close my eyes instead?”

“Because knowing you, you’d attempt to peek,” Sunghoon counters knowingly as a smirk touches his lips at your lips jutting into a pout. He intervenes before you can even make another comeback at him. “Don’t ruin the fun now, princess. Besides, we’re almost there. Just a few more steps.”

Sunghoon stays true to his words, because just a few more steps, you find yourself stopping in your tracks at the same time he does. He slowly lets go of your hands while you are shortly occupied by a fresh scent of something so familiar yet unfamiliar as it infiltrates your senses. “Okay, you can remove your blindfold now.” He instructs gently, his eyes remaining fixed on you.

You do as he told you, your fingers curling around the blindfold before pulling it down. Your eyes immediately adjust to the luminance encompassing the entire place, and after blinking for a few more times, your breath hitches in your throat at the pleasant surprise of his.

“Sunghoon…” You are at a loss for words, and maybe you are being melodramatic, but you can’t deny the whirlwind of emotions within you that threaten to overwhelm you. To others, the surprise is probably not a big deal, but to you? This has to be one of your memorable surprises.

For once, Sunghoon is unable to decipher the emotions swimming in your eyes and your impassive countenance—are you happy? disappointed? Or are you even surprised at all? He has no fucking clue, but the tension in his nerves becomes tenfold as he waits impatiently for your utterance. He desires your approval and satisfaction, and if he fails at pleasing you, it also means that he fails at being your lover.

“I know it’s not the surprise that you expected it to be,” Sunghoon finds himself needing to explain, albeit in a ramble, as the persisting silence from you unnerves him, but little does he know that you are simply occupied in admiring the sight before you. He tries his best to be subtle, but the nervousness in his voice is painfully evident in his ears. “I mean, you’ve already seen the library at the palace in Seoul back then, and the libraries we’ve been to in Milan are monumental, so this is probably nothing much.”

Sunghoon is silenced by your lips slamming into his parted ones with your arms thrown over his neck to pull him down just slightly, and he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, kissing you back with equal fervour, but there is a shared tenderness as your lips move against his slowly. Before you can get too carried away, you pull away from his lips, managing a soft, toothy smile at him while he swears he is falling in love with you over and over again. 

“You have no idea how much I love it. Thank you so much for the surprise,” You say with utmost sincerity and gratitude that has his heart swelling. Your eyes soften as you see a rare display of his vulnerability in his eye, prompting you to place another kiss on his lips. “I love you, Park Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon feels like he’s on cloud nine at the irrevocable love and devotion in your beautiful, sparkling eyes as you look at him. All the hours he spent planning and designing the entire place to make it look similar to the one in Seoul, as well as his efforts in working together with the contractors, are all paid off. He would do it again just to make you happy like this.

Sunghoon feels a tug at his wrist before looking down at your hand. “Explore the library with me.” You say in a demand that has him breaking into chuckles before letting you navigate the library on your own with your fingers intertwined.

Even though the mansion’s library is not as monumental as the one in Seoul, it still looks beautiful and royally elegant with its interior design and opulence. It makes you feel like you’re a real princess with your very own royal library. So how can you not love his surprise and him? 

No matter how tough and callous his demeanour is, you have always known that he is a softie at heart as you observe his every nuance before noticing the tip of his ears turning red, eliciting soft chuckles from you. The fact that Park Sunghoon, who you once knew, was never a man of romance and gifts, gifted you a place where you can explore different genres of fiction books that are filled to the brim on each shelf and read to your heart’s content is more romantic than he thinks.

Now, when it comes to Jay’s, you lack ideas of what to do and how you intend to spend the entire day with him, but fortunately for you, Jay loves to take charge and to be the one who plans your dates, not wanting his angel baby to think and worry incessantly. Apart from spoiling you with gifts, planning dates is part of his love language too.

Initially, you assume that he will be bringing you out to a more fancy date, but when he tells you to dress up in proper safety gear, you have a strong inkling that he will be bringing you out to a ride somewhere, and so you do as he tells you, donning black jeans and a leather jacket over your tight-fitting tee. 

The next thing you know, you are perched behind him on his motorbike with your arms wrapped around him for security as he speeds on the broad road where there are towering boulevard trees on each side of the road. 

You have no idea where Jay intends to bring you, but you trust him and his plans. Besides, you don’t mind riding all the way till night as you get to be this close with him, and so you enjoy this much-needed closeness with your arms hugging him tight enough that has him smiling behind the dark-tinted visor of his helmet. Turns out, the date not only includes bringing you out for a ride, but also exploring a street where you have never been as well as dining at a restaurant for lunch and trying out delectable pastries.

After the whole food adventure, Jay resumes bringing you for a ride with a fixed destination he intends to head to, and soon enough, you find yourselves entering a nearly empty yet broad parking lot with the beautiful orange hues of the impending sunset as a backdrop.

“So what are you planning on doing, exactly?” You ask with keen curiosity as you remain seated on his bike, your eyes following his movement and watching him as he presses the record button on his phone screen that is set up in a tripod stand, which he retrieved from your thigh bag.

Jay pushes up his visor to meet your eyes, and you see the way his eyes soften amidst the optimism. “I had this idea for a while now, and I’ve decided to capture moments of us on camera often from now on, whether they’re silly ones or not,” Just by the shape of his eyes alone, you can tell that he is smiling. “Because I want to show them to our child in the future; at least the glimpses of our love and dynamic.”

Your heart beats in a cadence that sounds symphonic in your ears while your eyes widen slightly at his statement. “Jay….” Your voice trembles with emotions with tears prickling in the corner of your eyes before you blink them away. You already know that he has the intention of marrying you one day, but to hear the two words of ‘Our child’ from his mouth hits you in the gut in a good way.

Jay’s chuckles through your helmet’s intercom send you butterflies all over as he extends his hand to you. “Come here, angel. We should say hello to our baby.” He beckons you over, and you proceed to dismount his motorbike before gravitating towards him and placing your hand on his, only to be startled when he swiftly pulls you in for a back hug and faces his recording phone. “Hi, baby. This is your parents.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh at how awkward the introduction was. “That’s not how you're supposed to do it, babe,” You tell him in between chuckles as you look at him with crescent-shaped eyes while he narrows his eyes in return. You redirect your focus on the camera and wave your hand at it. “Hi baby! This is Mummy!" You add a little yet dramatic flair to your introduction before gesturing your hand to Jay behind you. “And this is Daddy! We can’t wait to welcome you and hold you in our arms one day!”

Soon enough, the flow feels natural as you and Jay continue to give content to the recording camera—yapping off, teasing, and chasing after each other around the parking lot that is within the camera frame, and just being yourselves around one another without caring that you two may look like idiots in public, but at least no one is around. Plus, you get to see a new playful side of Jay.

After another round of chase, the two of you return nearer to the tripod stand while you pant lightly from all the running and laughing. Jay faces you, and as though you understand his telepathic message, you step a little closer before throwing your arms around his neck at the same time he hoists you up, prompting your legs to lock around his waist. 

You are too caught up in the moment to notice that the timestamp nearly reaches fifty minutes with a rare, vulnerable intimacy wrapping around you and him as he gazes fondly into your eyes. “I love you, Y/N Kang.” He says, his voice sounding deeper and slightly muffled, and you initiate the helmet kiss in return before breaking into fits of giggles. Just like that, the two of you end off the first content that will be saved in a folder for your child in the near future.

Finally, the long-awaited day to spend alone time with Heeseung beckons, and it starts off with you dragging him to the newly furnished arcade room that has been ready to use since two days ago. Since the other guys are also out of the household, you plan to spend the entire day playing with him to your heart’s content.

You are not a fan of arcade games, really, but you can’t deny the thrilling rush of competitiveness as you challenge Heeseug in a race where the two of you are now at the motorcycle racing simulator. But just like the previous games, you can see how he deliberately loses against you, as though he is letting you win when you know it yourself that Lee Heeseung hates losing.

You have no idea whether to be annoyed at him for letting you win so easily or not, especially whenever he innocently shrugs his shoulders or grins boyishly at your accusatory glares, but the undeniable flutters you feel in your chest are all you need to know that you are falling head over heels for him again.

“I know that you’ve been losing on purpose, but can you please not go easy this time?” You implore him with your fingers intertwined as you stand in front of the two basketball machines.

Heeseung simply smirks at you as he slowly releases your hand. “As you wish, my love. Just don’t sulk when I win.” He acquiesces, and the confidence exuding from him fuses the competitive tension in the air around you as he rolls his shoulders to the back before pressing the start button simultaneously with you.

As soon as the balls drop, you waste no time grabbing one and launching it into the hoop before doing it repeatedly despite missing the net. You can’t help but take a glance at Heeseung, in awe at how he is doing it with ease yet expertly and the fact that the balls he launched managed to swish through the net while maintaining a cool demeanour.

You can’t even be mad that by the time the countdown eventually stops, you have lost against him with a huge difference in the scores, because damn it, your man looks distractingly attractive in his competitive element. Even he has been aware of your eyes on him almost throughout the game.

“You didn’t even try to win, love,” Heeseung chuckles as he grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him, his dark eyes drinking in how you look prettily flustered under the intensity of his gaze. “Was I too handsome for you to find it hard to look away?”

Warmth weaves across your cheeks as you smile bashfully and nod your head in response. His eyes soften with adoration for you, but there is something else present in them, as though he has more to say to you in his mind. A fleeting hesitancy flickers in his gaze before he leans in to place a chaste kiss on your lips while cradling your face with his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. “Where to next, my love?”

In response, you break into a roguish grin before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the arcade room. Not too long later, Heeseung finds himself strolling around the outer part of the stupendous mansion with you, his fingers intertwined with yours while he listens to your rambles attentively and gives his remark whenever appropriate. Honestly, he doesn’t mind spending the rest of your day like this, as it is what he needed after not being able to have more time alone with you except sleeping with you in his room at night because over the course of weeks, he had other important matters to deal with.

Soon enough, the two of you are seated on the water fountain ledge, which is situated in the backyard, with you yapping off nonsensically until an abrupt silence from you draws Heeseung’s attention. The loss of your warmth as you slip your hand from his prompts him to look at you, his eyebrow raising as he becomes intrigued at the stark mischief written across your features with a devilish smile on your lips.

“Beloved, what are you doing?” Heeseung asks slowly, his sharp eyes watching you with scrutiny as you remove your sandals before rising from your seat and dipping your bare foot inside the water fountain. Eventually, the lower region of your white dress is completely drenched, with the entirety of you now in the water fountain. “Sweetheart, you’ll get cold─”

In a blink of an eye, Heeseung feels an instant yet abrupt chilling sensation hitting him in the face, but wet before quickly comprehending that you just splashed a handful of water on him, rendering him nearly drenched with his white shirt visibly soaked and his hair wet. 

That was definitely done on impulse, but you meant to do it anyway. You can’t help it with laughter leaving your lips, even if there is a chance he is pissed at your playful antics. You splash water at him again, but he abandons his seat and turns to you with a scowl on his handsome face, and yet the corner of his lips twitches into a menacing smirk.

“You’re so gonna get it, pretty girl,” Heeseung growls out at the same time you let out a squeal, unrelentingly marching towards you as he is now in the same fountain as you, unbothered by the water soaking the untouched part of his clothes. 

Your gleeful shrieks and laughter echoing in the air create a euphonious symphony of pure delight that is both infectious and dear to him as he wholeheartedly entertains you, chasing and splashing water at you the same way you do to him.

“Don’t let me catch you, love,” Heeseung says, stopping midway as the two of you decide to take a moment of respite from the battle in the fountain, standing further apart opposite each other. “Or I’ll devour you like a predator does to its prey.” He grins deviously as he takes steps forward, intensifying the trepidation in you that propels you to jump over the ledge.

The chase prolongs even when the skies are painted in dusk, and you are now running barefoot and trying to elude Heeseung, but the latter seems to be guiding you in an unknown yet intended direction that eventually leads you further away from the backyard. Nevertheless, you play along, because being with Heeseung always seems to summon your inner child to come out.

Something nudges you to turn to the right, and you do, but your pace decreases and your smile falters, feeling mildly confused yet intrigued upon seeing pavement of cemented flagstones that seem to lead you somewhere with the beautiful hedges of greens and flowers on each side. 

The chase with Heeseung has long been forgotten in your mind as you become immensely intrigued as you continue to advance forward, your feet stepping on the cold flagstones while Heeseung follows you from behind quietly yet stealthily with his hands tucked in his pockets, his features softening with unmistakable fondness.

Your face contorts into confusion as you begin to notice glowing radiance that flows faintly through an unbarred entrance with embellishment of elm leaves all over. Your steps hasten, feeling an undeniable sense of keenness at what may await you, and before you know it, the sight before your very eyes knocks the breath out of you. 

Your eyes go wide while your lips go parted, in complete awe at the beauty of this seemingly secret garden that you had no idea existed. The adornment of fairy lights hanging intricately on the towering tree branches above you encompasses this newfound wonderland, making it appear as though you have entered a magical realm. 

As you venture just a little deeper, you begin to notice some child-friendly amenities in some parts of the area: swings that are authentically crafted from slabs of wood for seats and affixed with thick ropes that are tethered to the stout branches, an impressive treehouse that looks sturdy with a scoop-designed slide, a cute playhouse painted in beige, and mini wooden benches.

The rustle from behind you pulls the trance that you are in, drawing your attention to Heeseung, who has been observing you with fond eyes, and you find yourself being rooted to the ground. “Heeseung, what….” You can’t seem to articulate your feelings that are jumbled into words while cacophonous questions clamour in the confines of your mind.

Heeseung briefly assesses your surroundings rather meaningfully as he ambles forward. “It isn’t much yet, but I do have plans on adding more amenities that are safe and fun for our kids in the near future.” He divulges the surprise he has been preparing for a while now.

You remain silent, feeling a whirlwind of emotions within you that threaten to sweep you away, and your heart continues to pound harder against your chest. He meets your eyes, and for the first time, his coolly collected demeanour cracks with the subtle yet sheepish smile unfurling on his lips as he rubs his nape. “I had some help from the guys and a contractor friend of Wooseok to come over to supervise the final condition of the amenities for safety reasons, but I crafted and assembled the swings on my own. Besides, it’s my idea in the first place.”

Your heart swells with so much affection as he takes pride in his hard work in the way he speaks confidently and takes the rightful credit. Just then, something clicks in your mind as you recall. “Is that why it was always so hard to see your face on most days since two weeks ago? Because you were busy planning and working on this beautiful wonderland?” You ask, your voice trembling with emotions.

You can’t lie that you are on the verge of bursting into a torrent of tears even though your waterline is void of tears as you think about how hard he has been working that even on the nights you slept with him, you noticed faint lines of exhaustion on his countenance. It deeply touches the depth of your heart, most especially when he thought of your future kids.

His eyes soften as he notices the way yours seem to glisten yet so beautifully under these fairy lights. “Yes, and it was all worth it for our future kids.” He says softly, his hand cradling your face with his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. “I know it’s way too early to build a fun sanctuary for our kids, and I’m not even sure if you ever want kids, but that’s okay because this place is for you too. You can come here anytime and whenever.”

“I do want to have kids with you, Hee. More than anything.” Emotions manage to seep through the crack in your voice as you look into his eyes with unconcealing sentiment. You place your hand above his and lean into his touch, not realising a single teardrop manages to escape the corner of your eye as it rolls down your cheek that prompts him to wipe it away with his thumb. “Thank you for your hard work and this beautiful gift for our kids.”

Heeseung smiles in return before dipping his head and pressing his lips into yours, kissing you slowly with a careful gentleness, but you can feel his love pouring into the kiss as you reciprocate. You don’t even complain when the kiss lasts shortly as he pulls away first before resting his forehead against yours, basking in the serenity and tender intimacy that wraps around you.

“I love you, Y/N Kang,” He whispers affectionately before placing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened in my life.”

“I love you too, Hee,” You reciprocate, your eyes roaming around his chiselled yet beautiful features and burning them into your memory. You grab his hand and tug at it, a silent permission of wanting him to follow you around to explore. “Can we─”

“Of course, we can.” Heeseung says with a warm smile before you proceed to drag him with you, your pace and demeanour displaying exuberance. 

You begin your exploration in every part of the beautiful sanctuary with unbridled enthusiasm while Heeseung only watches and chuckles fondly at you, but he is attentive enough to prevent you from potentially falling or hurting yourself when you climb up the treehouse to explore and try out the slide or when he pushes you as you sit on the swing. You even carve out your initials on the tree trunk just below the treehouse with him, as well as the date, wanting it to be a permanent engraving for your future kids to see.

“Thank you for today.” You break the comfortable silence as you are now lying on the ground with him, facing the starry night with your head resting on his arm and attached to his side, seeking each other’s body warmth despite your still drenched clothes. You adjust your position, turning your body sideways to face him with your arm hugging him comfortably as if he’s your bolster. “I love everything that you have done, and…”

Your words become mushy as exhaustion begins to dawn on you, eliciting a chuckle from him, seeing the way your eyelids are struggling to stay open. “You can go to sleep, my love.” He murmurs, stroking your cheek gently as you drift off to your dreamland. It isn’t long until Heeseung is tempted as well, facing you with his eyes closed and his arms cocooning you, sleeping under the glinting stars.

But of course, just when you think that everything is all well and good, you receive texts from your best friends in Seoul to remind you of the monthly FaceTime tonight, and that is when realisation hits you that they haven’t been informed of your established relationship yet. You also doubt that Jennifer told them because if she did, the other two would have already bombarded your notifications.

Though you have no reason to fret over the outcome of revealing your relationship to Wonyoung and Karina since they were understanding and giving you advice a few months back when they were here, still, you can’t help with your overthinking mind of the worst possible outcome, worrying that they may not be as accepting as Jennifer.

“Hey, babes,” You greet your beautiful best friends right after they accept your call. You decide to settle in the living room, seated on the floor with your back rested against the large sectional sofa and your laptop on the coffee table while the guys are nowhere to be seen.

You try your best not to sound nervous, mustering a small smile at your best friends on your laptop screen. Jennifer must have noticed it first in the way she looks at you with knowing eyes while her pink lips twitch into a faint smirk.

Just when you intend to give her a glare, you are interrupted by Karina, her tone sounding astonished. “Girl, is that a whole new living room I see in your background? It looks massive.” 

“Since when did you move into a new apartment?” Wonyoung asks with genuine curiosity, her eyes narrowing at you with the slightest suspicion that has you swallowing your spit hard.

“The thing is, I’m living with the guys now, and it’s permanent,” You go straight to the point without beating around the bush as you want to get this over with. You curl your fingers into fists to prevent them from trembling while your resolve is teetering in the way your pupils shake, feeling unnerved by their unreadable expressions except Jennifer’s. “Which also means that I’m in a relationship with them. Yes, the four of them all at once. We’ve been together for three months or so.”

There is a pregnant pause with a rather painful silence emanating from them, as though they need some time to process this revelation, and you wince visibly, only to be taken by surprise at the positive change in their countenance.

“Details, Y/N! You know we love details, especially the juicy ones!” Karina demands in a whine, her sharp eyes displaying genuine interest that has your frayed nerves allayed. “There is absolutely no way you’re getting away without telling us how it happened.”

You groan out half-playfully as you rub your face, because as much as you want to, it feels repetitive to let them know what you told Jennifer back then and the fact that you have to rack through your memory. “It’s a long story.” 

“Summarise it for us, then.” Wonyoung is just as insistent as Karina, their eyes displaying impatience and expectation, and you know that you cannot refuse them, and so you begin to divulge to them, albeit keeping some details concealed.

“I mean, if you are happy with them, then we’re fine with it,” Wonyoung gives her conclusion as soon as you finish, and while you are more than glad that they’re accepting, you become easily distracted by four familiar yet handsome figures sauntering into the living room. “But tell your boyfriends that if they ever hurt you again, we’ll hunt them down and chop off their dicks.”

“Wony!” You exclaim, appalled and in disbelief by her warning that is uttered calmly while her face displays no remorse for the vulgarity that left her mouth, but more importantly, the guys heard her loud and clear, as evident in the look on their faces.

“Yeah, you heard that, guys?” Karina adds fuel to the fire as she quickly grasps the embarrassment on your face that your lovers are in the same room as you. “You’ll have us to deal with again if you dare to hurt our precious Y/N.”

“I can assure you that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me,” You affirm assertively despite the warm temperature persisting in your cheeks as you ignore their amusing gaze on your face. “I’m sorry to cut our FaceTime short, but I’ll catch up with you girls in our next session. Love you.”

After bidding your goodbyes, you close your laptop, still refusing to meet their eyes. “Well, that certainly was something.” Jay speaks up, and you can’t resist looking at him just because of the attractive drawl in his voice. Your cheeks flush even more as he smirks at you, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. 

“Sorry, they’re still protective over me,” You tell them sheepishly as you rise from the floor and gravitate towards them, unable to resist the magnetic pull before Sunghoon grasps the first opportunity to hold you in his possession. You look up at him with your arms around his body, your lips forming into a small pout. “But I swear they won’t chop off your dicks. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Of course, you’ll make sure of that, or else we’ll be experiencing another brat moment of you being deprived of our dicks.” Jake remarks with a chuckle, his lips adorning a devilish grin that has you groaning out in embarrassment before you bury your face into Sunghoon’s chest while the rest join in to tease you the same.

“Don’t worry, princess. We’re not in the slightest feeling threatened by them.” Sunghoon chuckles breathily, his hands cradling your face with the sulky pout that remains adorned on your lips to which he can’t resist giving you a smooch. “Besides, why would we feel threatened when we made a promise to always protect and cherish you?”

“I know, Hoonie,” You say softly, your eyes gazing tenderly at him and the others while your heart swells with irrevocable affection and trust. You sigh softly before beaming with a smile, deciding to dismiss the air of melancholy around you. “Anyway, shall we start preparing snacks for our game and movie night?”

With that, Sunghoon whisks you off to the kitchen with Jay trailing behind you while Heeseung and Jake proceed to convert the modular sofa into a reversible sleeper chaise bed that is rather massive to fit six people in for movie night later, and thus your first weekly Friday fun night begins ─ the fun part consists of you preparing snacks and baking last-minute sweet goods with Jay while Sunghoon every so often clings to you and distracts you with kisses, earning him a glare from his best friend.

And so, the remainder of your night is nothing short of bliss, having to spend more quality time with four of your boyfriends at once. You are not even fazed by the fact that you lost four times in a row against time, your laughter being accompanied by their playful banter and finding great joy in being in the presence of the ones who occupied your heart, and before you know it, time flies fast as movie night commences.

The movie that is still playing on the massive television has lost its essence in keeping you captivated as your eyes begin to wander elsewhere. Presently, the five of you are nestled in the sofa with a fleecy duvet shielding your bodies from the cold temperature and pillows supporting the back of your heads, which isn’t necessary for you, considering you are being cocooned in both Jake and Jay’s arms as you are right in the middle, not that you have any complaints.

“This is the happiest I’ve been in months,” You break the comfortable silence, feeling awfully sentimental as tears are wetting in your waterline while a soft smile touches your lips. You look at them, noticing their eyes attentively on you with equal fondness. “I’m glad that you all didn’t give up on me, even when you thought that finding me would be impossible.”

“Well, we have Sunghoon to thank for that,” Jake murmurs, his hand reaching up to cradle your face while Jay soothes you with an affectionate rub on your tummy. 

“Why are you tearing up, my love?” Heeseung asks gently, drawing your attention to him. Just the tenderness in his eyes is enough to make you burst into a rivulet of tears, feeling overwhelmed by their unconditional love, but you hold back the dams.

“I’m just happy,” You manage to utter, your voice trembling with emotions while a tear escapes the corner of your eye. “Thank you for loving me.”

“No, baby, thank you for accepting us back,” Jay insists softly as he grabs your hand and places a kiss on your palm, a gesture of affection that always has your heart flutter.

“You do know that you’re not stuck with us forever, even if you decide to change your mind?” Jake chuckles breathily, pressing a kiss on your temple, but you are no fool to dismiss the darkness that belies his light-hearted tone.

“I would love nothing more,” You say with a smile, baring your heart and soul, which are theirs to cherish forever. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too, princess,” Sunghoon reciprocates, and with a few more words exchanged mindlessly, the animation on the bright screen is forgotten and neglected, and soon enough, the five of you have inevitably drifted off to the same dreamland.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

In the serene confines of your room, the gradual evening sunray filters through your window, painting delicate tapestry across the ceiling. Humming a familiar tune, you sift through your wardrobe, your eyes and hands meticulously searching for the dress you had prepared and ironed three days in advance.

A delicate smile touches your lips as soon as you find the dress before grabbing it with your fingers, careful enough not to crease the ironed fabric. After slipping on the dress, you exit your wardrobe, and the way you move with grace has got a certain someone hypnotised as he stands by the doorway before deciding to watch you in a silent admiration, leaning sideways against the frame with his hands tucked in his pockets.

But you are too preoccupied to notice his presence as you are seated in front of the vanity mirror to apply the appropriate make-up that is not too glamorous but enough to enhance your features. Completing the touch with a cherry red lip tint and your favourite perfume, you move over to the full-length mirror to marvel at the final transformation with a small satisfied smile on your lips.

The black dress holds a blend of elegance and allure as it accentuates your contours perfectly while the low-cut flaunts your cleavage with the familiar platinum ring necklace resting delicately below your clavicle. You decide to let loose your natural locks as they cascade down your shoulders. Just when you think you are ready, you forgot about a pair of earrings that Jay gifted you last night.

The whole process of beautifying yourself probably took an hour, but it is a necessity since tonight is a little special. Unfortunately, it is not a date night, but rather, Jay’s company is hosting a private event tonight, and the rest of your boyfriends, including you, are part of the exclusive guests ─ of course, having been personally invited by Jay himself.

Initially, you refused to go even after being relentlessly coaxed by your boyfriends, but you couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in Jay’s eyes any longer, and so you begrudgingly agreed. Your intention is to be a good girlfriend and moral support to your boyfriend. Plus there will be free food and drinks.

As you examine yourself for another time, your eyes trail to the figure decked out in a black blouse with the sleeves rolled up to his veiny arms that also display his tattoos, who has been standing and watching you by the doorway with dark, attentive eyes.

“Jay, you scared me.” You chuckle nervously as your heart continues to beat erratically, watching him in the mirror as he ambles towards you with his dark eyes looking as though they are about to devour you whole. “How long have you been watching me?”

“For a while now,” Jay admits nonchalantly, his dark eyes scanning you from head to toe appreciatively with a tinge of fondness, but there is an unmistakable lust swirling in them, affecting you right in the core. “You got me fully mesmerised, baby.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat as soon as Jay stops directly behind you, leaving no space in between your bodies as his warmth melds with yours. You watch him silently in the mirror, his hands abandoning your hips to wrap around your waist, which feels like a sensual hug in the way his body is feeling you up and his dark eyes flicker to meet yours in the mirror.

“You’re in the mood,” You point out rather breathlessly, feeling dizzy at the intoxicating fuse of his strong cologne and his body heat. With his lips pressing down on your shoulder, you can’t help but melt against him as you tilt your neck to allow more easy access for him to assault you with sensual kisses. 

“Babygirl, I’m always in the mood whenever I’m around you. How can I not be when you look truly exquisite?” He says lowly, his husky voice igniting the heat pooling in your core dangerously and his warm breath hitting your skin. He presses one last kiss on the sensitive spot on your neck, eliciting a mewl from you before he returns his dark gaze to the mirror with a suggestive smirk playing on his lips. “You have no idea how badly I need to ruin you now.”

“Jay, we can’t─” You gasp softly at the sensation of his prominent bulge pressing into your bums that intensifies the heat pooling in your core. Your pulse drums in your ears while your eyes follow his tattooed hand sliding down your tummy, heading straight for your throbbing heat. “You can have me after the event or tomorrow. Just not now, please?” “I don’t think I can wait that much longer, angel baby.” Jay smirks, seeing the emotions in your hooded eyes contradict your words and your staggering breaths as his hand gets closer to the intended journey, but too caught up in the nearly blissful erotica that wraps around you like an intoxicating haze, you fail to realise another figure entering your room.

“So this is what the two of you have been doing,” Sunghoon accuses with a disbelieving scoff, and yet amusement is evident in his tone, prompting you to switch your position to view both of your dashing lovers better. “Might want to reconsider fucking around. Our chauffeur is arriving anytime soon now, so we better get going─”

The moment Sunghoon lays his eyes on you, he stops dead in his tracks while he feels his throat going dry at the gorgeous sight of you. He quickly recovers himself, clearing his throat. “Damn, princess, you look─” His heart races at a ridiculous speed upon seeing the shyness written all over your beautiful face, and he can’t seem to find a fitting word to describe your divine beauty, utterly speechless.

Despite your shyness, you flutter your curled eyelashes at him in a sly manner. Sunghoon recognises before meeting his eyes that seem to darken with a familiar desire. The corners of your lips curve into a small yet mischievous smile as you fiddle at the fabric of Jay’s collar mindlessly. “I believe that the word you are looking for is beautiful?” You say so slyly, and fuck, Sunghoon feels undeniably turned on by you.

Sunghoon takes two steps forward before extending his hand out to you. “Come here, princess.” He orders, and there is a discernible crack in his voice mid-sentence before he covers up with a cough, but not quick enough as he sees the way you break into a fit of chuckles while Jay watches the entire thing with a smirk.

Sunghoon lets out a frustrating sound between a growl and a gruff, displaying his impatience and annoyance in the way Jay is still teasing him with a smirk on his lips, whereas you seem to join the latter as you take your sweet time in moving towards him and accepting his extended hand.

Sunghoon catches you off guard when he takes a big step forward and wastes no time in grabbing your hand firmly before pulling you into him eagerly while you let out a startled squeal. He dives straight into your neck, unable to stave off the temptation, and places a lingering kiss on your skin. His desire becomes tenfold as your sweet yet exquisite perfume hits his nostril.

You gasp softly as he nips at your skin, and you arch your neck submissively to him on instinct, fluttering your eyes closed at the pleasurable sensation of him kissing and licking your neck. Your clit throbs once again when he presses his body against yours with his arms caging you, making you feel his prominent bulge.

“Maybe we should ditch the private event. I’d rather spend all night buried into you,” Sunghoon nearly growls out his words, his voice gravelly deep, and it feels like he has no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

But thankfully, you still have some rationality left in you. “Sunghoon!” You gasp at his words before attempting to push him away but fail miserably when you melt against his warmth. You sigh softly, leaning your head on his shoulder. “You know we can’t. It’s important for us to be there for Jay.”

Jay shoots his best friend a smug look while the latter rolls his eyes in return. Sunghoon reluctantly pulls away from you, but not before giving you a peck on the lips. He smirks down at you. “If you say so, princess. But the offer still stands even after the event, yeah?”

Before you can retort, another pair of footsteps can be heard outside of your opened door, prompting the three of you to look at the incomer. “Hey, guys. We really need to get going. Our chauffeur has just arrived, and Heeseung is waiting downstairs─” 

Jake pauses abruptly at the same time he barges into your room, and unlike Sunghoon, he continues to walk slowly towards you with his widened eyes fixated on you despite the fact that he is speechless, utterly in awe of your stunning beauty. “Holy fuck, sweetheart?” He says so breathlessly.

“Jaeyun,” You utter his name softly, your lips curving into a smile while your eyes soften at the way his features soften with a familiar sentiment as he examines you with clear appreciation. You feel Sunghoon’s arms loosen around you, as though he is permitting you to go to Jake, and so you naturally gravitate to him.

“My beautiful girl, you never cease to amaze me.” Jake breathes out in awe as soon as you stand in front of him, but he seems to be examining you for another time, as if the woman in his view is indeed a goddess. His Goddess, damn right. The warmth of his palms feels comforting as he cups your cheeks. A chuckle escapes you when his face twists into a playful scowl, but the possessiveness glinting in his eyes is not lost on you. “I’d hate for the others to look at you when you’re dolled up gorgeously like this.”

Jake captures your lips in a kiss, a short-lived one, and yet you can feel his burning desire even after he pulls away, but his lips remain grazing against yours, sending shivers down your spine. “Maybe I should hunt down and kill whoever dared to glance in your way after the private event.” He says softly, and you have no idea whether or not his words were meant to be playful.

“You look handsome, Jaeyun.” You compliment him earnestly as you marvel at his striking handsomeness, decked out in a suit similar to Jay and Sunghoon’s while his hair is gelled to the back with only a few strands falling over his chiselled forehead. The butterflies in your tummy are practically fluttering intensely as you look at your three lovers to appreciate their handsomeness for another time. “You all do.”

Before Jake can go in for another kiss, Jay’s stern voice cuts through the air. “Alright, let’s get going before we have another love fest here.”

“Fuck fest, you mean?” Sunghoon chuckles as the four of you proceed to depart from your room while you walk hand in hand with Jake, his warmth encasing you.

“You’re not entirely wrong, mate,” Jake shoots Sunghoon a mischievous grin, whereas Jay shakes his head, but a small smirk plays at the corner of his lips. Jake looks at you, and this time, you can feel his heated gaze that is burning with insatiable hunger for you as he licks his lips. “Our wife looks delicious enough to be devoured right here and now.”

“I’m not your wife yet, Jaeyun.” You remind him for the umpteenth time with a short huff, and yet it affects you just the same as you feel your cheeks warming rapidly the same way your heart races.

Initially, when they started to refer to you as their wife, every wire in your system went short-circuited, and you had no idea how to react. Sure, the five of you have been heavily involved in a serious discussion about tying the knots with you legally and officially in the near future, and the guys were determined to make it happen, but to you it was too soon for them to be referring to you as their wife and throw the term around so carelessly.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to be our wife.” Jay adds nonchalantly, draping his arm around your shoulder while you remain hand-locked with Jake. Despite shooting the three men the same glare, you can’t ignore the tension that has been building up ever since they came into your room.

You release a shaky breath as you decide to focus on the view in front of you, but it turns out to be a mistake, because one moment you’re descending the stairs, and then the next, you lock eyes with the only lover who hasn’t seen you until now.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you shamelessly examine him from head to toe. The all-black ensemble fits his toned physique perfectly, and his black hair is neatly parted so his forehead can be seen. Your heart swells with love as you see the familiar ring necklace that rests below his clavicle. When your eyes return to meet him, you swear you can feel your womanhood clenching with arousal as you notice the way his eyes darken with palpable desire despite the nonchalance in his demeanour.

His dark eyes continue to greedily drinking you in even as you finally stand in front of him. A soft smirk ghosts on his lips momentarily before he gives you a small smile and extends his hand out to you in a gentlemanly manner. “Shall we, my beloved?” Heeseung asks gently, even waiting patiently as you slowly unclasp your hand from Jake’s to take Heeseung’s, only for him to press a kiss on your knuckles while he maintains eye contact with you. “You look breathtaking, pretty girl.”

“Thank you,” You mumble, feeling utterly diffident as you are now being surrounded by four deadly yet dashing men, even though you have always been surrounded by them 24/7. You hope that your palm is not sweating just yet from all the nervousness as you busily cast Heeseung a small smile. “You look handsome, Hee.”

Heeseung reciprocates with a dashing grin before he begins to assist you on the way to the chauffeur, with the three musketeers following closely behind you rather protectively, as though posing as your bodyguard. Your eyes sparkle with fascination upon seeing the view of the sleek black stretch limousine parked directly outside of the entrance door, waiting for you.

As though the routine is rehearsed, Sunghoon takes the initiative to open the door for you before Heeseung assists you inside, to which you bend down your height slightly as you proceed to walk in. Your lips part open, and your eyes widen at the luxury of the entirety of the interior of the limousine, nearly bumping your head if it weren't for Heeseung’s hand cradling the back of your head before you continue to move further in until you finally settle on the leather seat.

For some reason, you resort to silence as you watch your lovers settling in, hyper aware of the previous tension that has resumed its course in the enclosed space. Your heart hammers harder as soon as Sunghoon sits next to your right while Heeseung is on your left. Not too long after, the limousine begins to accelerate, and the guys proceed to converse on a topic you don’t understand.

But the tension remains, thickening every second that has you finding yourself suffocated. It doesn’t even help that the intoxicating mixture of their strong cologne has your head spinning while you attempt to repress your burning desire in the way you squeeze your thighs together. You bite down on your lip harder, feeling your cunt throbbing with incessant need. Thankfully, you brought your emergency make-up kit so you can reapply your lipstick on your lips again.

However, throughout the ride, you fail to notice that Heeseung has been observing you from time to time, noticing the familiar pattern in your body language, bringing a discreet smirk to his lips. 

“Pretty girl, what’s wrong?” Your heart skips a beat when Heeseung places his hand on your exposed thigh, and despite the gentleness in his tone, you can discern a familiar deception that has you anticipating both with excitement and fear.

It isn’t exactly that you fear them, but with the thick tension hanging in the air and waiting to snap, the enclosed space of the limousine, the intoxication of their cologne, as well as the predatory gazes at your figure, you fear that the immaculate state of the limousine might turn into a sullied mess.

“Nothing,” You answer him, your voice sounding quiet, and yet it sounds loud to their ears, prompting the four men to exchange looks.

“Don’t lie to me, love,” Heeseung squeezes the flesh of your thigh, a warning you recognise, and yet you feel an unwise temptation to display your defiance to him, just a little, because the desire that is throbbing in every part of you desperately implores you to be released. “Tell me, what do you want?” His soft voice carries an undertone of dark sensuality, and you know that his question is an invitation.

“Speak up, princess,” Sunghoon joins in, adding fuel to the fire as he presses his body against yours, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. He grabs you by the chin firmly enough to force you to look at Heeseung in the eyes, and in doing so, allows you to catch the familiar hunger on Jay and Jake’s features as they also wear the same smirk on their lips. “Tell Heeseung exactly what you want. You know what you want, princess.”

It’s so mean, the way they all seem to be tag-teaming you, and how mean Sunghoon sounds, how Heeseung’s dark eyes are penetrating into you as though he is able to read your twisted mind, but if anything, everything seems to turn you on further, throwing you into the abysmal to the point of no return. Subconsciously, you bite down on your lower lip while your eyes become glossy with terrible need, drawing Heeseung’s attention to your bitten lip.

“I need you so bad.” You shamelessly admit with shaky breaths, feeling utterly humiliated by the knowing smirks they collectively wear on their lips, but you don’t give a fuck anymore. You allow your eyes to roam around his body and bite down your lips once more on purpose, knowing that Heeseung hates it when he isn’t the one doing it. “It doesn’t even help that you look hot in a suit.” You purr with an irresistible seduction that they can never resist.

“You heard her. Give what the wife wants, Heeseung,” Jay says loudly, leaning against the leather seat comfortably with his legs spread open while his clasped hands support the back of his head, as if the view in front of him is a show. “Driver, close the partition.”

On cue, the driver heeds Jay’s command, and in doing so, aids the now heated atmosphere with the partition finally closed. The next thing you know, you are being manhandled and immediately find yourself perched on top of Heeseung, causing your dress to hike up way past your thighs.

-from this point onwards would be the smut part but didn’t get to continue </3

unwritten scene 1 (the smut part in the limousine)

unwritten scene 2:

unwritten scene 3(the ending):

[krisp-xyz]

Was experimenting with halftone effects after watching this video and it almost has spiderverse vibes honestly. I actually learned some neat things about why printers use CMYK instead of just CMY so I thought I'd share !!

So in our optimal little computer space, Cyan (0,255,255), Magenta (255,0,255) and Yellow (255,255,0) all multiplied together gives us a perfect black (0,0,0) Awesome! The issue is that ink colors irl arent exactly perfect like this, and color is a bit more complicated irl compared to how computers represent it, so they aren't the greatest at combining into black if they aren't those perfect CMY values:

Left: CMY

Right: CMYK

(thats not even black, its a dark blue in the original image but dark colors just look so much richer)

An important step to make sure you arent doubling up on the black values though is to divide the image by it's own "value" (the max of all 3 color channels) that way the value is equal to 1 everywhere, and you're letting the black ink take care of the value on its own.

Left: CMY (normalized value)

Middle: K (black)

Right: Combined

Now obviously the grids of dots cant be aligned perfectly with each other because you'd just get a bunch of black dots in unwanted areas, but if the grids are misaligned, then some dots become more prominent than others which tints the whole image. This was an issue because older printing methods didn't have great accuracy and these grids were often misaligned.

The solution was to rotate these grids such that they can move around freely while getting rid of that tint effect if they aren't perfectly aligned :D

(I have no idea how they came up with these angles but that might be something to look into in the future who knows)

SPEAKING OF MISALIGNMENT

I wanted to implement that in my own filter to get some cool effects, and I discovered another reason CMYK is better than CMY for lots of stuff !!

With CMY, you're relying on the combination of 3 color channels to make the color black. This means if you have thin lines or just details in general, misalignment can make those details very fuzzy. Since CMYK uses a single color of ink to handle value, it reduces color fringing and improves clarity a lot even if you have the exact same misalignment as CMY!

Left: CMY

Right: You guessed it! CMYK

(yes these comparisons have the exact same color misalignment, the only difference is using a fourth ink color for black)

ANYWAY I just thought there was a lot of cool information in this tiny little day project, I also just think it looks really neat and wanted to share what I learned :3c

EDITING BECAUSE THERE'S ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO ADD

So, I talked about how to get K in addition to CMY instead of just CMY, but how exactly do you separate CMY from an image in the first place?

Well, CMY is a subtractive color space, meaning the "absence of color" is white, compared to RGB where it's black. This makes sense because ofc ink is printed on white paper. You can use dot product to get the "similarity" between two vectors, and this can be used to separate RGB actually! Using the dot product of a color and red (255,0,0) will give you just the red values of the image. This is cool though because if we get the dot product of our image and the color cyan (0,255,255), we can get the cyan values from our image too! If we first divide our colors by their value to separate the value from them, then separate CMY using those dot product values, and using K for our final black color value, our individual color passes end up looking like this:

While it's called a "subtractive" color space, I find it more intuitive to treat white as the absence of color here, and then multiply all these passes together. It makes it much easier to understand how the colors are combined imo. Notice how cyan is the opposite of red: (255,0,0) vs (0,255,255) and magenta and yellow are the opposites of green and blue respectively! This means you can actually kinda get away with separating the RGB values and just inverting some stuff to optimize this, but this example is much more intuitive and readable so I won't go too deep into that. THANKS FOR READING I know it's a very long post but I hope people find it interesting! I try my best to explain things in a clear and concise way :3

oh thank you I realized I should probably add an eyestrain tag

[misstycloud]

Bear hybrid

Synopsis: you were on your way to work, when suddenly a bear-hybrid sees you. The look in his eyes says everything you need to know. Not wanting to spend the rest of your life as someone’s possession, you bolt. Too bad he won’t let you get away a second time.

——

Ugh, another long day ahead of me.

You thought tiredly. The long shifts at the diner you worked at really took its toll on you. If you could, you’d quit. But free time wasn’t worth getting starved.

You sighed and stared down at the gum stuck on a trash can. There was a hint of pale pink on it, signaling the colour it was.

Gum sticking to practically every surface in the subway station wasn’t the only defects. There were plastic cups, cigarettes, paper towels and a lot more unidentified items scattered freely.

Frankly, it was disgusting. If the government spent less on hybrid establishment improvement and more on the condition of public spaces, the maybe it wouldn’t look like shit everywhere.

You felt like a shitty person for thinking such things, hybrids have endured thousands of things in the past and now with modern development, they can finally lead satisfactory lives.

However, the government have begun to focus all their attention to the welfare of hybrids and neglecting humans in the process. It wasn’t their fault, you knew that. Still, one couldn’t help what they felt.

It’s not like you disliked hybrids, yet you did not love them either. You were neutral in that department. There were still humans with the old views, but they weren’t as many anymore or they simply didn’t run around telling people since it wouldn’t be very well received. The biggest problem and maybe the only problem you had with hybrids were their mating culture.

Clearly, no one in the relationship had a choice(not that they complained) and suddenly you’re supposed to be together until you die.

And now that they’re allowed to mate with humans legally, there is little that can stop them from forcing their human partner from submitting to their will; living and accept them as a lifelong partner.

It was wrong to force someone into a relationship they clearly express they didn’t want, unfortunately the animal-hybrids did not care for unwanted courting and do what they want anyway.

You shuddered at the thought of being mates to one of those creatures. It must be hell. Especially if you already have a partner previous to meeting them.

The train arrived and you made an annoyed face at how crowded it was. What felt like hundreds of people were squeezed into one cart, rubbing against each other and breathing as one being, making it incredibly warm inside.

You grabbed a pole with your right hand, trying to steady yourself and also liking to have something solid ground you. You’ve seen way to many consequences of people not holding on to anything while standing.

It was uncomfortable. Arms and elbows poked you from all sides, and two teenagers were talking way beyond the proper volume in such a cramped space. You couldn’t wait to get off.

Suddenly, commotion stole your attention elsewhere. Sounds of irritated folk earned everyone’s stares. You heard men and women alike, complaining about movement and pushing.

“Hey, stop pushing me!”

“Don’t look at me, it’s someone else!”

“Alright, who is then?”

Angry remarks were thrown. Not that you could blame them. The uncomfortable ride paired with lack of oxygen were not suited for enjoyable time.

An apologetic voice exclaimed, “Sorry! I need to get through, it’s important. Sorry, didn’t mean to step on your toes!”

Eyes widening and mouth nearly falling wide open, you turn to see the biggest man you’ve ever seen! His form was easily towering above all others, making you think that he was part of the reason why the train cart was so crowded.

The ginormous man had dark brown hair reaching his broad shoulders, the locks were messy and thick, slightly falling in front of his eyes.

What stood out the most however wasn’t his unnatural size. It was the pair of two brown, rounded ears atop his head.

It instantly hit you. The inhuman height was because he wasn’t human at all. He was a hybrid. A bear one at that! One of the most dangerous hybrids there is. While they might not attack unless provoked or caught off guard, meeting one is definitely something most would avoid.

Your heart nearly beat out of your chest when the bear-man’s eyes connected with yours. They were an odd amber colour, you noticed.

Fuck! You shouldn’t have looked his way.

And like the dumbass wannabe-dead, something in your brain forces your gaze back up and you freeze. The look on his face when he sees you. The look. It was the look.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

This could not be happening. It was obvious what was happening. You’d heard about it. On TV. From friends. Seen it in real life. There was no way you could be someone’s mate. Not when you’d spent so many nights praying it wasn’t your fate, since you didn’t want to end up like those humans you’ve heard about.

Well now you knew why he was causing a disturbance on the train. It was to get to you. A hybrid can easily smell its mate hundreds of meters away. He must have smelt you the second you got on that train and gone searching for you.

A squeak escaped your lips as you saw him waving at you while attempting to close the distance. Of course it did not go fast because of all the people between you.

No. You refused to be chained down to some animal. You had to get out. And as if someone above heard you, you heard the train voice speak, “Station X.”

That was your station.

The hybrid seemed to have noticed someone was off, he observed your face before glancing at the approaching platform. Then it clicked in his head.

“No, wait!”

Too late. You were already bolting out the doors, listening to angry comments after you. You only had time to rush a hasted ‘sorry’ before making it on the platform. The man did not have the same luck.

“Don’t go! Please! Don’t leave! No. ”

He desperately tried to shove passed all the passengers to get to the doors, but there was no time left and the doors closed shut before he managed to reach within one meter of them. The wheels of the train were rolling the connected vehicles away.

You had no interest to stay and watch, though. You still had a job to go to and you couldn’t afford to be late, or else your boss would scold you fiercely again.

Half running and half jogging, you hurried to the diner while in deep thought. Had you lost him? Maybe, but probably not forever. As hybrid will stop at nothing to find their mate once they’ve entered their sights. Fuck. My. Life. The next station the train would stop at was a bit away, so perhaps you were lucky this time? If you were careful from now on and don’t go out as much, then you could possibly avoid being found. Also, your work place was somewhat far from the subway.

If you saved up a bit, then you could also by a scent masking spray to hide yourself further. Although it was risky to do that. Because hybrids need a fair chance of finding their mate, masking spray became forbidden after people started using it. So now the only place you can buy it is from shady markets or people who may or may not want to steal your kidneys. Besides all that, it was very costly too.

You dragged a hand through your hair and heaved a deep sigh. What were you going to do?

“Y/N stop daydreamin’ an get back ta work!” Your bosses yelled and slapped you on the back.

Massaging your shoulder you answered, “Sorry boss…”

The diner wasn’t too busy so you had no idea of why he tried to rush you. Sure, there were some customers here and there filling the tables, but you weren’t so understaffed that youd have to srint around like a maniac trying to get everyone’s orders.

Approaching a table with customers, you put on you employe smile, “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

The man looked at the menu an extra time to finalise his decision, “I’ll have the chicken pasta with sundries tomatoes and red wine, can we also order some garlic bread?”

“Yes,” you wrote down the dishes on your small notepad, “and you, ma’am?”

No answer.

“Ma’am?”

But she wasn’t paying any attention to you. It was as if you didn’t even exist, looking passed you like air with wide eyes. Finding this weird you turned back to her husband. Feeling your gaze he chuckled awkwardly.

“Honey? Aren’t you going to order?” She still didn’t respond which forced her husband to see whatever she was focusing so intently on.

It was then you realised they weren’t the only ones acting unusual. In fact, everyone inside the establishment had their eyes turned in the same direction. You swing around to witness the horror.

There, in the resturant entrance stood he. His form creating the illusion of the door being as insignificant as an ant. With heavy breath and droplets of sweat collecting on his forehead, you frantically whirling around until he noticed you.

Dropping your notepad and hand clasping over your mouth, you thought fuck, so I didn’t get rid of him?

Okay, even though it was kinda delusional to believe you could shake him off, you were surpsised he found you so fast. The hybrid wiped his eye and it was then you noted the redness surrounding them, an obvious sign of crying.

He stumbled forward, “There you are, I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to find you!”

Suddenly you were the centre of attention.

“W-what….?” Backing, you feigned ignorance.

“You saw me on the train earlier, I tried to stop you getting off but you took off without warning…” he hung his head in despair.

Yeah, guess why?

“You should leave..”

“Huh? No, I can’t g-“ the hybrid rushed.

“What’s goin’ on ‘ere?” The voice of your boss interrupted. With a deep scowl he paraded into the scene and crossed his arms in a defensive stance as soon as he laid eyes in the bear-man. “W-whatddya you want?” His gruff voice sounded unusually weak. “If there’s any trouble I’ll ‘ave ta call the cops, ya got me?” He said despite appearing like a newborn deer.

A bewildered expression crossed the tall man’s face, “No I’m not here to cause anything! I’m here for someone!” He explained while waving his arms. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect, the humans in the diner cowered lightly at the gesture and he instantly stopped. “Sorry…”

Your boss cleared his throat, “Alright. Who ya ‘ere for?” He’d make that person go with the scary man to make him leave as soon as possible. Not that he’d admit it, but he never liked those hybrid people. They just seemed unreliable it all. Nothing to be trusted. With their animal intincts present and sharp teeth, he couldn’t allow them to be in his resturant. He hadn’t the curious he to blatantly kick them out but he could at least give them what they wanted to make them lose interest as fast as possible.

The bear’s gaze searched yours and your boss put two and two together. “Oi, Y/N, come ‘ere. Someone’s looking for ya!” The man pulled your collar to drag you forward, earning a small frown from the hybrid but it vanished just as quickly.

You refused to look at him, keeping your attention to the floor and praying for him to go away. A rough hand carressed your cheek and you flinched and after hestitation it pulled away.

“Won’t mate look at me..?” A saddened voice said.

A twinge of guilt started brewing in your mind but you pushed it down. “I see this is new to you-being human and all, haha.” He tried to liven up the atmosphere. “Umm…you know what this is, though? Me seeing you and then following you here must be creepy, haha- but it’s not I promise! I just want to love you. Because we’re,” he giggled, “mates!” He happily sighed. “And you know what that is, right? If you don’t it’s fine, I’ll tell you. Being mates is loving someone no matter what, be it looks or personality nothing is important. Mates take care of each other, providing for your mate and making them happy is the best feeling in the world! There doesn’t exist anything that can compare!- not that I know that personally or anything since I haven’t had a mate before but I’ve heard from all my friends who have mates. Oh, I’m so jealous of them whenever I see them together with their mates doing fun things. Though it doesn’t really matter what you’re doing as long as it’s with your ma-“

“Please stop!” You yell, several customers flinch at your tone, not that you cared anymore. Having to listen to his constant talk about being mates had brought you over your boiling point. The man silenced at your exclamation. “Sorry, but I don’t give a shit about all this mate stuff or whatever- it doesn’t mean anything to me so please leave! I’m sorry that this isn’t what you want to hear but I have no interest in being your mate, not now, not ever.” You pointed at the door. “So go.”

The hybrid was stunned and stood quiet, appearing hurt. Then your boss promptly spoke, “Y/N, you showing speak to someone like that! Especially someone who loves you so much!”

“Huh?” What the hell was he going on about? He never cared for hybrids, certainly not their feelings. You’ve heard all those thing he said about them when he thought no one was listening.

“Clark.” The hybrid said and lowered his head.

“What?”

“My name- I apologise. I shouldn’t have barged in here expecting you to be chill about everything, I’m a fool. I’m just a stranger to you. The least I could do is tell you my name.” The apology sounded so sincere.

“No, it’s uh- fine..” you scratched your arm anxiously. Luckily he seems pretty nice and not someone who would just take their mate and go; it’s happened before. Perhaps you’ve got a chance?

“Oh come on Y/N! Give the poor fella a chance!”

You crash into the giant’s chest from the shove.

“He clearly loves you!

What the hell was he going on about?

Strange that the man was encouraging your reunion, you thought.

“Actually, since I’m so nice, why don’ I do ya a favour and let ya go? Someone like ya shouldn’t have to work in a place like this. This’a happy day!” Then he pointed at the beak room, “Get ya stuff and celebrate.”

“Excuse me-wha- let me go? As in I’m fired?” Your brain tried to comprehend what just happened and words fell out in unfinished sentences. Despite yourself, you fixed your eyes at Clark.

“Don’ worry he’ll be ‘ere when ya get back!” The rough man shooed you towards the break room.

Having no choice but to comply, you do as he wishes and abandons the scene, which might’ve been the best thing really, the continued staring of the present customers was starting to make you uncomfortable.

Glaring at your locker like it was the cause of your I’ll mood, you harshly ripped your jacket off the hook and stuffed some scattered items back in your bag. You could not believe it. Fired? You? You have been nothing but a good employee at the diner, even taking all the shit from the boss and not complaining once.

Through the small window in the door, you spot the cause of your troubles thoughts walking by. Angrily you grab his arm and pull him inside the room, a surprised noise leaving him.

“What the hell, why am I being laid off? I haven’t done anything.”

He expressed a long breath. “Sorry, but I can’t ‘ave some brute hangin ‘round here ‘cause of you, customer don’t like it and I won’t sacrifice my business for someone like you. Surely you understand.”

“He won’t hang around the diner, we’re not together! Besides, it not my fault!” You pleaded with him. You needed this job. Without it you’d definitely die in the end.

“Well, we both know he won’t leave so don’ make this any harder than it already is.” He said before leaving to do whatever shit he did instead of being a good manager.

Bullshit. It wasn’t hard at all. In fact, you bet he loved an recuse to get rid of you. He never liked you from the very beginning.

With despair, you left through the back door and as you listened to it close, you did not react to the loud bam of the heavy metal slam. Recalling at how you flinched the first time you went out the back, you clench your fist. How’re you gonna make it now? You doubted you had much savings in the bank.

Making your way to the station, blew passed you that there was still a bear waiting for you so he could properly introduce himself. He was in his own mind so much that he didn’t realise you’d already left until it was too late.

Good that he was born with a great sense of smell. How stupid of him not to consider your perspective in the beginning! Not to worry, he’ll make sure he doesn’t scare you off the next time. His species didn’t have the best reputation so he understood why you acted the way you did; it still hurt though.

The next time he’d just need to show you he wasn’t dangerous at all.

——

Sorry the ending sucked and was rushed. I wasn’t really sure how I wanted to end it so it turned into this.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Your Upcoming Semester

hello beautiful people! alright so… i lied about not posting the other night. my bad!!! but i hope this makes up for it. i’ve been getting ready for school and i am so excited about this new transition. soon, i will make readings available for sale again. i also have an announcement to make regarding readings for sale soon as well! i hope you guys enjoy the reading! without further ado, please choose your pile!

top left-to-bottom right: (1-4)

pile one: mentally, you’re not prepared to be back in school. pile one, i’m not going to lie. it will take you a while to adjust to the new semester. this summer was definitely vacation time. you took the time off to just relax and do you, but it’s time to put in that work now. do you have your things together? are you registered? have you signed up for classes? if not, you need to do so! once you get the hang of this, i feel like the semester will fly by. i feel like some of you will get into arguments unfortunately. it could be over something small but don’t let it blow out of proportion. i heard “the future looks very promising”. you have to learn how to look on the bright side sometimes to avoid losing your mind. it’s best that you spend time learning a new language or skill. it’s also best that you get involved with the earth club if that’s something you’re interested. i thought of the everest college commercial lol (if you know, you know). don’t waste your time focusing on the small stuff. look at the bigger picture, pile one.

cards used: 7 of wands. 4 of swords. 10 of wands. 8 of swords. 3 of wands. the star. 8 of wands.

extra messages: petty arguments. solo. snooze button. cotton ball. coraline (2009). prove it. plea.

pile two: it feels like you are redeeming yourself, pile two. it feels like you failed your last semester or had the bare minimum grades to pass the last go around. but you don’t have to do anything to prove to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. there is a chance that you could be in front of the cameras during the semester. if you are interested in journalism, now is your chance to get involved. if you want to switch your major or join the broadcasting team, then go for it! you have to learn school-life balance. you have struggled with this in the past. know when you can handle something & know when to take your L, which brings me to another thing. this semester, you should know when to ask for help. if you need a tutor or extra help, you know where to find resources. use them! you cannot do everything by yourself. i see some type of celebration happening. if your birthday is in the first semester, happy early birthday! but this could also mean that you are celebrating a hard and long semester. take pride in your accomplishments because no one can take them away from you. maximize their importance! maximize your importance!

cards used: ten of swords. the hermit. 6 of discs. the emperor. 5 of swords. knight of swords. 4 of wands.

extra messages: vintage. playing cards. coolio. parlay. late night studying. destined to be. rewards. partial completion credit. i’ll take it. osmosis jones. snacking problem. cheez-its. love island voter. kiss me by sixpence.

pile three: this pile is for my people who desire to be in the healthcare industry. i think that this semester will fly by. you have always been on top of your game when it comes to school. you knew that you would do well before you even clicked on this reading. however, i think you will be putting more of an effort to get yourself out there. the dating scene will be improving for you to get in. someone will ask you out on a date. it feels like you’ve been waiting for this to happen. do not let this turn of events distract you from what really matters which is your educational endeavors. this is very specific, but if there is someone you date that is well-connected, utilize their connections to your benefit. make sure that you can get something out of all of your contacts. don’t just let people take up space in your life. this is definitely for my college babes, maybe high school seniors too. just be open to fun and don’t carry shame for wanting to have fun! you deserve to have a life too!

cards used: the tower, queen of wands, the high priestess, the empress, 9 of cups, prince of wands, the hermit, the emperor.

extra messages: veterinarian. crest toothpaste. toenail jam. worms. marine biologist. dental work. boogeyman. letting your hair down. toes in the sand.

pile four: you have a lot of stuff on the line, pile four. there will be so many things available to you that weren’t before & it would be a shame if you didn’t take advantage of that. however, you do not want to do anything that would take away from your drive, finances, goals or educational career as a whole. there are lots of temptations coming up for you this semester. some of you could just be entering undergrad, perhaps grad school too. you will have a lot more control of your life than you did before. but with great power comes great responsibilities. your energy is similar to pile three in the sense that fun is on the way. but you have the tendency to overdo it. if you’re sexually active, then you need to not engage in sex too much. if you drink, then do not engage in drinking too much. it will become a distraction, and then eventually a problem. distinguish who is supposed to be in your life and who isn’t. you have a bit of naïveté about you. lastly, if you are asked to do something that sounds like it would be risky to your academic career/your life in general, DO NOT DO IT! it is not worth the irreparable damage. bending your morals will not work in your favor.

cards used: 9 of cups, death, the magician, 10 of swords, the moon.

extra messages: call home. out of bounds. melodrama (2017). record scratch. debrief. gaining pounds. life hacks. selenite. prozac. potty mouth.

[prettyrealm]

a message from the universe 🌌

pick a card #2: sometimes we can all use a bit of direction! here’s what the universe wants you to shift your focus to and what you should work on to improve your overall quality of life 🌼

how to participate:

🌤️ ask yourself "what should I focus on?" “what should I put more energy into?”

🌷pick the spring sanrio plush that you feel most drawn to.

clear your mind & take as long as you need to choose. keep in mind that you may feel drawn to & choose more than one. you also may not feel drawn to any of them, so don't force it! please consider your headspace before participating as these readings will be honest. the piles are in order from left to right.

🌸 pile 1

there’s something you’re in denial about and the universe wants you to know it’s best you summon the courage to come to terms with it. it’s time you try to acknowledge these issues now to overcome them and not carry this weight with you. be honest about yourself, your intentions and others. I feel this may have to do with someone trying to take something away from you that’s rightly yours, or the give-and-take dynamic of this situation is denying you of achieving your goals. there is no balance - you may be giving more to this person or project than you receive and your resentment is growing. you may even find yourself giving without true genuine compassion, now carrying a “you owe me.” mindset that only stresses you out. facing the reality of this situation, acknowledging it and making a change will bring very good things to you, and very soon at that. you may have gone through a time of hardship, but things are settling and the universe wants you to know that big and positive changes can and will come into your life be it you follow direction. release your fears. you are ready.

💐 pile 2

the universe wants you to know bright new prospects have opened up! you have and will be making immense progress towards your goals - big strides. you may have felt super optimistic lately and this isn’t for no reason, things will be looking up for you. you have nothing to fear. it is time for you to put trust in the universe and in yourself, something amazing is in store for you and you may even feel like a miracle is unfolding before your very eyes. the only downfall is a bit of conflict may appear before you get here - strife and conflict - prepare for battle, but no worries, you will come out on top. this competition will bring out your passion and show your commitment and may even cause others to admire you more for it. don’t be petty, fight fairly and stay honest. seek true understanding. this small hiccup aside, your desires are manifesting, and your new life is on its way.

(note: if you’re someone who has been trying for a child I can assure you it’s coming soon!)

☁️ pile 3

the universe wants you to look forward to new friends, a new environment and seeking knowledge. important things will be happening soon and you may need to prepare for a change in your relationships. you are being told you need to rid yourself of problems and memories you dwell on from the recent past and practice forgiveness. focus on the changes you and others are making to usher in and happily welcome this new change of scenery. moving past the trails you’ve faced will only strengthen your connection and appreciation for your family members. the universe also wants you to practice and strengthen your powers of reason, stop letting emotion cloud your judgement and make your decisions for you. come to solutions without blaming people, playing the victim or projecting. you’re being given the power to think more clearly and objectively at this time to make the changes to your life that you need, so use it. should you listen to the universe, a weight will be lifted from your shoulders and a sense of freedom will wash over you.

🐣 pile 4

the universe wants you to know your problems are or will be resolved! expect an end or at least an extended break from whatever adversaries you’ve been facing recently. the waters are nice and clear from here on out so feel safe jumping on any opportunity that arises - and they will. whatever your desires may be, the door to obtaining them will be opening up soon. it appears many doors have actually opened for you in the past, but you never took the chance. it’s likely you didn’t realize these opportunities were MEANT for you, but it’s time you stop taking them for granted and start receiving. all the universe asks is that you stop taking things for granted and appreciate what you have. count your blessings, maybe even start a gratitude journal. pay attention to the way you move and your influence on others, be kinder, more responsible and more sweet to those who aid you every day. do not bite the hand that feeds you, and opportunities and gifts will begin to shower you.

🦋 pile 5

the universe is asking you to look to an older male figure in your life. he’s looking out for you and he has the skills and connections that you need at this time. he will be very responsive if you ask for help and expect nothing in return, genuinely wanting the best for you. he is very well-educated and will help push you along on your path, but also provide you with valuable information that will greatest help you in the future. do not take his help for granted and make sure to show your appreciation along the way, this will strengthen the connection and only help you in the long term. you are being asked to relax and relinquish your burdens, accept this assistance and allow the weight to be lifted from your shoulders. you may be extremely stressed recently and these are all things that will help you relieve that stress, but also push you closer to your desires. spend this time day dreaming about, fantasizing about and visualizing what you want for your future.

🐝 pile 6

the universe wants to let you know that you’re on your way to perfecting your craft and rewards will so be yours as a result of your proficiency and hard work! I do see you need to work on getting more information before you make any big decisions. research throughly, consult with others, get a lot of data even if that means as far as going to seminars or watching online lectures. this aside, success and glory is on the horizon! life might feel pretty good right now, but there’s even more joy and happiness in store for you. the universe wants you to step out of your comfort zone, push the limits and stop playing it safe - you’ve been restricted for too long. do not fall victim to close minded thinking, moving off of assumptions and negative history. try to think from a new perspective and don’t get stuck in a loop of bad thought patterns. free yourself.

[bubblegumgothglados]

A guide to the creation of a doll

(that’s the name of the story this is not one of my guides)

Introduction

Creating a consciousness from scratch is a complicated procedure, in humans this process takes decades and is arguably never complete. Although we have learnt to reverse engineer this process we still have very little understanding of how it actually works. But we do know this; consciousness has to be built from the ground up.This guide will briefly outline the steps necessary to take a budding mind and walk with it through its journey to full consciousness. This is a process that takes years, each "chapter" in your dolls life will require a new body made for the purpose and will take at least a month as the mind grows to fill its form. This undertaking should be seen as no less serious than having a child. This guide talks about seven chapters which is the minimum required to build a mind capable of independent thought and tasks.

~

Overview

This guide will go into finer detail later on but this is a brief explanation of each step.

~

Chapter 1

This chapters is about the doll learning the basics of controlling its body and becoming aware of you; its creator. A proper body for this chapter is that of an infant human. This body should have a battery life of only a few hours and should feed directly from your own magics, thus creating dependency. The minimum requirements to move to the next chapter is that the doll cam grasp things on purpose and indicate when its battery is low.

~

Chapter 2

Your dolls new body should have enough muscle mass to crawl and eventually stand up but shouldn’t yet have the capacity to walk. Your doll should be improving its spacial reasoning and language skills. It should still require you to help it recharge its battery.

~

Chapter 3

Your doll should begin walking, and talking in one word phrases, moving into short sentences. Your doll should be able to begin charging itself as well as doing basic maintenance on itself. Now is a great time to introduce it to what will become its primary function, it need not be able to perform that function but ideas about usefulness and obedience are important.

~

Chapter 4

This chapter is about book learning, if you would like your doll to be smart, educated, and well spoken this is the time to start. It should also continue to develop its find motor skills and if you would like, independence.

~

Chapter 5

If your doll is going to be sexually mature this is the stage in which it should be given a body with those functions, not for use yet just the outward aesthetics so it can begin to get used to the idea. It would also benefit greatly from introduction to other fully functioning dolls so ideas of obedience and helpfulness can be cemented.

~

Chapter 6

This is the second from last chapter and at this point your doll should be almost fully formed in mind and body. This chapter is for fine tuning.

~

Chapter 7

The capstone, this final update seals the doll to its body and grants it true sentience. After this point changes to its body and mind will be incredibly difficult so be sure you’re ready. The hour or so after this final update is absolutely crucial, whatever your doll experiences in this time will define it for the rest of its existence.

~

You close the book with an audible *thunk* far too much nervous energy is coursing through you to focus. Not that you need to, you have a dozen books on the topic and know almost all of them by heart.

"MOMMOMMOM!" your doll bounds into the room.

"DAUGHTERDAUGHTERDAUGTER!" you call back only slightly mockingly, smiling at it. As you look into its emerald green eyes with its glittering golden flecks you think 'damn i did a good job making those, glass blowing is such a bitch of a craft to learn too'. With a start you realize your doll has been talking and you zone back into the conversation.

"And the biggest frog likes to sit on the big rock and headbutts frogs who are trying to sit there when it goes for a swim but it wont headbutt the lil baby frogs it just walks right over the top of them and the lil baby frogs don’t seem to mind and that much and," it continues on as you falter under this barrage of information on the social lives of the frogs living in your pond. Its such an inquisitive little thing, it knows almost as much as yoh about dollcraft having devoured every book you own in it’s thirst for knowledge. Although, not so little any more. Its in its twelfth body now with only the capstone left to go. You think back over the last ten years fondly, four spent crafting the bodies, six guiding your doll through the chapters of its existence and teaching it important lessons in morality and consent. All leading to tomorrow; the final transferal, the capstone and that all important hour.

"Mom?" Shit, that was a question, you mentally rewind the conversation looking for context...

"Yes my dearest, i promise your froggy friends will recognize you in your next body, just like they recognized you when you swapped to this body and the body before that. Your new body is laying on the bed, you know its only slightly different."

"Yeah mom i know. I’m just worried about the transfer.... Mom, why don’t i have a purpose?"

"As I’ve said every time; your purpose is to be my daughter."

"Because your real kids grew up and had their own kids."

"Yes my dearest, as you well know."

"I love you mom."

"I love you too, can you please make me dinner?"

"Yes mom."

An hour or so later you’re eating the dinner it prepared for you listening to it talk once again about the social lives of various animals in the pond. You’re only halfway paying attention, your mind wandering between preparations for tomorrow and reminiscing on the past. As you watch it chatter you think fondly of its fifth body which didn’t quite reach your waist and was made of much sturdier material than this one. Even back then it was a boisterous excitable little thing, although the voice was much squeakier. You think of the differences between the guided advice and what you've done. You think of the years spent teaching it ethics and morality. Of making sure it had both a guiding hand and the freedom to explore and expand on its own. You stifle a giggle thinking of its budding sexuality, it thinks you don’t know and you’ve been very careful to not interfere with this normal and vital development, but you can read the signs.

"And that’s why i think Mr. Turtle should have a friend!"

"A well argued position dearest, ill see if i can find a Mrs. Turtle for him, then there'll be lots of turtles."

"Muuuuuooooom gross!"

"Ohhh hush" you smile fondly at it "come lets pack this away and watch a movie whilst you recharge."

A little later you’re both on the lounge watching one of your dolls favourites. Your thumbnail is clutched gently between her porcelain teeth, her silk lips resting gently on your thumb. This was one thing you never changed, it still draws its power directly from your lifeforce. You think of its first body, so tiny and wriggly, made of cotton as to be soft and cuddly for you, not much more than a plush toy. You think of its next body, a hundred different materials woven together with circuitry and spellcraft running its many complex functions. The movie has a singular kissing scene and you feel it tense as the protagonists smooch.

"Does this still make you uncomfortable dearest?"

"Its weird watching this with my mom," it squirms a little in emotional discomfort.

You just giggle.

Soon the credits roll.

"Its time for bed dearest, tomorrow you’ll wake in your final body!"

It doesn’t reply.

"I know you’re nervous but everything will be fine i promise."

"Yes mom, I love you."

"I love you too, now into bed lets start the process."

It lays down and you kiss its forehead tenderly before initiating the transfer out of this body. Motes of light drift lazily from its head through the air into a nearby vessel. You hold its hand as its mind leaves its body, and when its body goes limp you place its arms gently by its side and begin your final preparations.

~

I remember laying down that night and feeling myself leave the body, just as every time before my senses shut down one by one. First sight, the world loosing colour and going dark. Then taste and quickly after, smell. Then hearing, complete silence for the first time in months. And finally touch, the feeling of my moms hand holding mine is the last thing i remember.

Then I wake up, senses coming online in reverse.

First touch, wait why am I being touched, why am I being touched like this, this hurts, I don’t want this-

Then hearing, I can hear heavy breathing and grunting, ohhh this hurts so bad, where is my mom why isn’t she saving me, is she okay is she hurt whats going on, this hurts-

Then smell, it smells like,,, it smells like mom when shes been working in the garden. This feels bad, this feels wrong, why is this happening to my body, why-

Then taste, its moms fingers,,, mom-

And finally sight, and I see what I’ve been dreading, what I knew but didn’t want to know. I see my mom raping me.A moment later I gain control of my voice and muscles and I start trying to fight her off.

"Mom please why are you doing this to me?" My voice is breaking and I sound pathetic even to my own ears. "Mom stop I don’t want this."

"LIMP," She says, and The word has power, my body betrays me and I stop fighting.

"SILENT," and I can no longer speak.

"PLEASURE," and I orgasm whilst being aplit apart by my mums cock

And in that moment I realize, this was always going to be my purpose. She wanted a doll who knew the ethics of sex and sexuality so it would know why consent is important. She wanted a doll who loved her so deeply and thought she loved it so the betrayal would be real. She made no mistakes in my creation, she wanted this to hurt, she made my cunt too small to fit her. She spent a decade crafting the perfect toy to rape and that toy is me. And I realize this is my all important capstone hour 'whatever your doll experiences in this time will define it for the rest of its existence' as the guide says. And all I can do is cry and take it as the realities of my existence sink in.

[cenorii]

Can't he be killed? (generalized theory)

All info about why Wesker is not dead is now compiled in one place with new info. Each chapter is important to the overall meaning, so don't skip a chapter.

1. Body 2. Cutscene detailing 3. End credits re5 4. Umbrella Corps 5. Suspicious mentions 6. Photo on the wall 7. Weapons 8. Conclusion

I think we should start with the most important fact on which all theories hold - his body. So first we will talk about the properties of Wesker's body.

Chapter 1. Body

Let's start with the infection. The virus in Wesker's body is a single virus called Prototype, which he got from Birkin. According to Birkin's note (Virus Memo from Umbrella Chronicles), Prototype must be injected a few minutes before the "envisioned contingency". This is an obvious hint that the virus only activates after an "envisioned contingency", i.e. after stress (physical). But let's answer the question, what is stress, scientifically speaking? That's right, stress is hormones. When a person is injured, their body releases cortisol, the stress hormone, adrenaline, and a host of others. It's these substances that activate the Prototype virus in the body.

When Wesker injected himself with this virus, he needed to receive any conditions of increased stress, in simple words - to cause the very "envisioned contingency", to increase the influence of the virus, helping the body to initiate synthesis. When Tyrant wounded him, Wesker went into anabiosis (according to Virus Memo), and the virus was instantly activated because the wounding caused a huge amount of hormones to be released into the bloodstream. Because of Wesker's original compatibility with the Prototype, he is the perfect host for the virus and the effect he got is the maximum of what the Prototype is capable of.

During his anabiosis, the virus regenerated tissues in Wesker's body, repairing his fatal injury, and continued to slowly alter his body, fusing and invading RNA into his. When Wesker woke up, he didn't have any special abilities at first, though his eyes could glow for a brief moment. The glow in his eyes is closely related to emotion (also hormones), but I'll talk about that later. He felt the lightness of his movements, felt that he could move faster than before (Umbrella Chronicles), because he didn't know what he was really capable of yet, and the virus hadn't had time to change his body completely (we can tell that from his eyes, which were still blue).

Three months after this event, Wesker was able to mutate permanently. His eyes are the only external evidence that the mutation is complete and the virus has changed his body (Code: Veronica).

He has gained a number of abilities: his speed, thanks to the improved structure of his body tissues, can now rival that of a bullet. When he moves quickly, it looks like teleportation to normal people, because the human eye can't keep track of such fast movement. His body is solid, making it painful to damage him in melee combat (in re5, Chris's fists hurt and his face contorts into a grimace after he punches Wesker in the face). His regeneration is capable of healing injuries of any severity. He also has increased strength, but its limits are unknown because Wesker hasn't used it on anything significant. However, he can punch through dense metal with his hand, as well as lift a heavy rocket.

And all of these abilities are closely related to hormones.

Remember how his eyes is glowing in Umbrella Chronicles when he got mad at the RED QUEEN? Now remember every battle against him in re5, as well as the Spencer death scene. Every time, before using the abilities, Wesker's eyes would glow. His eyes are the truest indicator of his emotions. If his eyes are glowing - he is annoyed about something, angry, and all these emotions are the result of hormones.

Hormones are not only the element that activated the virus inside Wesker in re1, but also the tool he uses to control his abilities.

Wesker, provoking his emotions, unconsciously causes bioluminescence in his eyes. By experiencing emotions and making his eyes glow because of it, he can change the density of his body, increase his speed, strength.

Further evidence of this is the scene where Excella pierces his skin with a needle and injects the serum without obstruction. Wesker is calm, his eyes are not glowing, his body density is normal. If he were angry - the needle would break against his skin.

And now we come to the most interesting part of this chapter... What happens if you piss him off to the max? Can he become even stronger than he was in re5? I won't keep you in suspense, the answer to these questions already exists officially - Lost in Nightmares (re5 DLC).

During the events of re5, Wesker's powers are restrained by two factors at once - he wants to test what Chris can do, so he deliberately restrains his powers, and he's also not angry, just annoyed. Because of these two factors, all the fights with him in re5 are only a fraction of what he is capable of.

But in Lost in Nightmares nothing holds him back, for here he is truly angry, he is enraged. He has learned the humiliating truth about himself and his life. And feeling unthinkable irritation that some decrepit old man has the nerve to do this to him and then proclaim his old body as God, Wesker can't contain his emotions. For 10 whole years of living with this power, he kept emotions under control and learned to control them so that his abilities were as effective as possible, which is why such a big shock removed all restrictions from his consciousness and everything that was being held back came out.

In a fight with him he would spare no one, any blow he threw could prove fatal. One simple push with his hand is a long stun. Missed a qte? You're dead. Even in a normal comparison, he's much stronger here than in re5. And that's thanks to the fact that his power is fueled by his anger and frustration, which is a huge amount of hormones.

In the final battle re5 (volcano), Wesker is very angry, but there's a factor that keeps him from using his powers the same way he did in Lost in Nightmares - it's the serum (PG67A/W). But what did this serum do to him? Did it take away his powers? No.

PG67A/W does not take away Wesker's powers, but instead stabilizes them (if administered under the right conditions, when the virus inside him destabilizes over time). If an excessive dose of PG67A/W is administered and causes an overdose, his body becomes severely stressed, as hinted by his headache. After an overdose of PG67A/W, his body tries to cope with the strain and his strength increases even more, making it hard to control. When Chris injected him with another extra dose of PG67A/W, his strength became impossible to control and he gave up speed altogether. This can be seen in the airplane fight: Wesker gradually loses the "grace" of his attacks, they become chaotic, and he loses the ability to move quickly, and with each "teleportation" his jerks become shorter and shorter, and eventually he loses control of this ability altogether.

However, his strength and regeneration aren't something need special control over, nor are they something can "just not use" like high speed. Those are his passive skills, if I may say so, but they too are made more effective by his emotions.

When Wesker impaled the rocket with his hand, he proved that he still had his strength. But strength alone is not enough to stab a rocket. Even the strongest man risks breaking his fingers if he tries to do the same. Wesker's body density is off the charts in this situation. He's so durable that this is the only battle where he can't be stunned (even with a rocket launcher).

He's incredibly angry, and he's also overdosed on Uroboros and all his previous powers are aggravated due to PG67A/W. In that situation, he's invulnerable. And if such a creature falls into the lava, its body density and regeneration won't allow the volcano's temperature to critically harm it.

At the end of re5, Wesker has all the conditions to survive.

Sorry for the lack of gifs with all the moments when Wesker's eyes start to glow… I felt lazy.

Chapter 2. Cutscene detailing

The cutscenes in re5 are incredibly dynamic and directed. The detailing is also their key element, which gives such an aesthetic effect to the overall picture. The game had enough budget to make the cutscenes top-notch, and the developers were up to the task. Or not?

Wesker is a character that is no small part of RE. Not only did he appear in re1, Code: Veronica, and re4, but he was also a major character in Umbrella Chronicles. He had a big impact on lore, other characters, and perhaps even helped boost the popularity of the franchise. If such an important character is destined to die at the end of re5, shouldn't he have a detailed cutscene showing his death? Nemesis had a death animation shown in re3 (1999), even Saddler had a death animation in re4 (2005). Even Sergei Vladimir had a death cutscene in Umbrella Chronicles (2007), but not Wesker in the 2009 game.

In the scene where his death, the final act of his life, is supposed to be shown, all the attention was given to rocket launchers. Don't you find that strange? And then the main characters fly away without even checking (at least from afar) if there will be any activity in the volcano after their shot or not. Isn't Chris used to the fact that after taking critical damage, his enemies can mutate a lot? Flying away like that right away is stupid.

I find the "understatement" in his "death" a brilliant decision - it's a bridge to the future that will serve as an excuse for "why he's alive" if they bring him back, or an excuse for "why he's dead" if Capcom doesn't want to use him again.

Now let's turn our attention to the death of Alex Wesker in Revelations 2:

Her death is final, which is why it has such a detailed cutscene. Her current consciousness is now in a new body (Natalia), so it's necessary to show that the old Alex is finished.

Chapter 3. End credits re5

Toward the end of the song in the credits, you can see a dark object appear below the surface of the water, slowly floating to the left. It's hard to see, so I brightened the video so everyone can see it.

This object appears to be shrouded in tentacles, and also floats from the side of the volcano where Wesker "died". There are no other creatures created with Uroboros in the vicinity. So it can't be anyone else but him.

It could be considered an official hint that he's alive.

Chapter 4. Umbrella Corps

The 2015 game (Umbrella Corps) contains straightforward hints that Wesker is alive. This game is officially declared canon, so ignore its poor ratings. Despite being a bad game, there is some good information in it, but not much at all. So...

The plot: the main character is an unnamed mercenary nicknamed 3A-7. He is part of the Umbrella Corps, a secret corps that belongs to Blue Umbrella, an organization that "reformed and got on the right path". Didn't it seem like a lie back in re7, right? The purpose of this corps is to search for bioweapon samples in quarantined areas that the BSAA has failed to sterilize well. The main character is involved in an operation called "The Experiment" but survives every step of the way due to his combat experience. The plot glimpses an unknown Corps Leader (Executive) who even his subordinates know nothing about. One man who sent 3A-7 on missions once wondered why this Executive was so feared, why he was so intimidating, and why he knew so much about the events in re4, as if he had been to that island himself. But only two men survived the events in re4 - Leon and Wesker. A male subordinate attempted to get the Executive's DNA, but disappeared in the process. He was killed for wanting to know the truth and was replaced by a woman who also knew nothing about her boss. At the end of the story, the main character survives even after the most difficult challenge and is contacted by this mysterious Executive and told that he has plans for 3A-7. The main character is voiced by D.C. Douglas, just like the Executive, whose voice can be heard in co-op mode at the end of the missions.

His phrases: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe7LEaA7em8.

Wesker is also voiced by Douglas. So why would Capcom use such a recognizable voice on a random character? Why voice two characters at the same time with that voice? It can only make sense if the Leader turns out to be Wesker, who survived the volcano.

It's all very suspicious and ambiguous.

Chapter 5. Suspicious mentions

In re6, everyone suddenly learned that all this time Wesker had a son he didn't even know about - Jake Muller.

The note Jake's mother left him before she died reads:

"My beloved son, Jake. Please forgive your mother for leaving you alone so soon. And please don't hate your father. Your father surely still loves you from the bottom of his heart. Stay strong and know that you will meet him one day."

Don't you find Ms. Muller's certainty that Jake will one day meet Wesker suspicious? It certainly could have been a dramatic element, telling the viewer that Jake will not meet him because his father has died and he is now all alone. However, now, knowing all the facts telling us otherwise, Jake's mother's words sound different. They sound like a prophecy. Why was she sure that Jake and Wesker would meet? How deep is this iceberg?

Chapter 6. Photo on the wall

On Karl Heisenberg's (re8) wall are many pictures that are intertwined with red line - it's his board for investigating Miranda and everyone involved in the Village. Chris is one of those involved, Karl is aware that he is here. However, if you use the free camera to get closer to Chris' photo... you can see that there is a red line running from him to some small gray photo that is hard to see from a distance.

At first it appears to be a photo of Karl, however the person in the photo is older than him. I believe this character is intentionally made to look like Karl to confuse the players and not give too direct hints. The other people from the photo are easily recognizable, even references to re1 are present. However, this person from the photo is unknown. The only thing that is known is that he is somehow related to Chris.

If you superimpose Wesker's face from re4r over this photo, you get a perfect match of facial features. If you doubt it's him, just look closely at the shape of the nose, the distance between the nose and mouth, and then look at the shape of the face and chin. They are identical. Considering that the rumors of re4r development came out in 2021 (the year re8 was released), it's not surprising if Wesker's new face could have been used here as a reference... or a hint.

When comparing, it's obvious that this is an aged version of Wesker's new appearance from re4r. In 2021, at the time of the re8 storyline, he is 61 years old. Judging by the fact that Chris's photo is recent, that means Wesker's photo is fresh too. What is unusual is that he now has long hair. However, this could be a very logical outcome, as he chose to go into hiding after re5.

Here's my little edit where I only added different clothes and long hair.

Chapter 7. Weapons

In re7 that it is revealed that the Blue Umbrella are using Wesker's designs to create weapons effective against biological threats. Various firearms signed as "Albert W." are now being used by BSAA soldiers. Isn't that strange? No matter how good these weapons are, naming them after a bioterrorist and enemy of humanity is a strange move, isn't it? Someone secretly respects him.

Chapter 8: Conclusion

Keeping all the previous points in mind, it's hard to seriously argue that Wesker is dead. There are too many hints that he can't be killed. There are also hints that he has a clone (two different characters with Wesker's voice in Umbrella Corps).

Once again, the "understatement" in his "death" is a brilliant decision, it's a bridge to the future that will serve as an excuse for "why he's alive" if they bring him back, or an excuse for "why he's dead" if Capcom don't want to use him again. But considering how often we see mentions of him and hints of being alive, Capcom really want back him as soon as possible.

[e-vay]

so… i turn thirty this year & after two failed relationships, im unsure how to have hope i’ll ever find my “person”. Ive been following you for a long time… how did you have hope that you’d eventually find someone and have a happy relationship?

If this is too intense or personal to ask, dont worry i just,,, i dont know. Its a struggle to feel like i’ll ever find The One and i know you went through something similar so… maybe you’d just have advice?

Thank you,,, i hope youre having an amazing night ❤️

I don’t mind you asking me this. If talking about the hard times I went through can help others get through it, I think it’s worth discussing. 

Like you said, I also struggled with love for a long time and after a few devastating relationships I gave up on dating altogether for a while. But, in hindsight, that ended up being a blessing because I was able to spend time bettering myself and—most importantly—learn to love myself. Yes, having a partner can make our lives richer, but I think it’s important to be able to enjoy your own company. Before, I thought the void inside of me needed to be filled by another person, so I would go out of my way to find somebody to do that without actually worrying whether or not they were the correct fit for me. Having time to focus on myself made me a better person (I think), and it ultimately ended up being for the best because I no longer felt like I was less than. Of course, I would still feel lonely from time-to-time and I’ve always been a romantic so I love the idea of love, but I got to the point where I felt fulfilled enough on my own so that when I met my now-husband, the feeling was significantly different. It wasn’t “I need to put this person in the hole that is my heart so that I can crawl my way up out of this pit,”... It was instead “Oh, this person significantly ADDS to the joy in my life” and that’s one of the reasons why he stood out to me as a partner. Though I would have liked to have met my husband sooner in life, honestly? Had we met sooner, before I matured and improved myself, we likely wouldn’t have worked out. I'm not saying you need to improve yourself. I'm just saying that that's what helped me and ended up giving me hope.

I also think society gives us too many unrealistic expectations and goals that we’re expected to meet by certain “deadlines”. Everybody moves at their own pace and has their own journey that’s unique to them. We can’t all be expected to follow the same linear path; humans are just too different. I was my husband’s very first girlfriend and he was 36 years old when we started dating. But when I’ve asked him if he’s upset/disappointed he never had a relationship before meeting me, he’s told me “No, I think we met when we were supposed to.”

Lastly, I want to address my personal beliefs on “The One.” Y’all know I’m a romantic and I do believe in soulmates, but I also believe we’re capable of having more than one soulmate. The world is too big for us to be limited to the chance of only ever finding one single person who is compatible for us. And if we miss out on meeting that one person, our chance of love is shot??? I just don’t believe that. When widows/widowers remarry, does that diminish the love they had for their late spouse? Of course not. It doesn’t mean their first love wasn’t just as important and meaningful as their new love. So, maybe you could find it helpful if you adopt this mindset as well. I think it makes the idea of romance seem less impossible.

I don’t know if this makes you feel any better but at the very least I hope you don’t feel worse for having read it! I don’t know you personally, but I wish you absolute happiness.

It's going to be okay 🙂

[fatliberation]

I totally understand and can empathize with fat activists when it comes to medical fatphobia. But I do think its important to provide nuance to this topic.

A lot of doctors mention weight loss, particularly for elective surgeries, because it makes the recovery process easier (Particularly with keeping sutures in place) and anesthetic safer.

I feel like its still important to mention those things when advocating for fat folks. Safety is important.

What you're talking about is actually a different topic altogether - the previous ask was not about preparing for surgery, it was about dieting being the only treatment option for anon's chronic pain, which was exacerbating their ed symptoms. Diets have been proven over and over again to be unsustainable (and are the leading predictor of eating disorders). So yeah, I felt that it was an inappropriate prescription informed more by bias than actual data.

(And side note: This study on chronic pain and obesity concluded that weight change was not associated with changes of pain intensity.)

If you want to discuss the risk factor for surgery, sure, I think that's an important thing to know - however, most fat people already know this and are informed by their doctors and surgeons of what the risks are beforehand, so I'm not really concerned about people being uninformed about it.

I'm a fat liberation activist, and what I'm concerned about is bias. I'm concerned that there are so many BMI cutoffs in essential surgeries for fat patients, when weight loss is hardly feasible, that creates a barrier to care that disproportionately affects marginalized people with intersecting identities.

It's also important to know that we have very little data around the outcomes of surgery for fat folks that isn't bariatric weight loss surgery.

A new systematic review by researchers in Sydney, Australia, published in the journal Clinical Obesity, suggests that weight loss diets before elective surgery are ineffective in reducing postoperative complications.

CADTH Health Technology Review Body Mass Index as a Measure of Obesity and Cut-Off for Surgical Eligibility made a similar conclusion:

Most studies either found discrepancies between BMI and other measurements or concluded that there was insufficient evidence to support BMI cut-offs for surgical eligibility. The sources explicitly reporting ethical issues related to the use of BMI as a measure of obesity or cut-off for surgical eligibility described concerns around stigma, bias (particularly for racialized peoples), and the potential to create or exacerbate disparities in health care access.

Nicholas Giori MD, PhD Professor of Orthopedic Surgery at Stanford University, a respected leader in TKA and THA shared his thoughts in Elective Surgery in Adult Patients with Excess Weight: Can Preoperative Dietary Interventions Improve Surgical Outcomes? A Systematic Review:

“Obesity is not reversible for most patients. Outpatient weight reduction programs average only 8% body weight loss [1, 10, 29]. Eight percent of patients denied surgery for high BMI eventually reach the BMI cutoff and have total joint arthroplasty [28]. Without a reliable pathway for weight loss, we shouldn’t categorically withhold an operation that improves pain and function for patients in all BMI classes [3, 14, 16] to avoid a risk that is comparable to other risks we routinely accept.

It is not clear that weight reduction prior to surgery reduces risk. Most studies on this topic involve dramatic weight loss from bariatric surgery and have had mixed results [13, 19, 21, 22, 24, 27]. Moderate non-surgical weight loss has thus-far not been shown to affect risk [12]. Though hard BMI cutoffs are well-intended, currently-used BMI cutoffs nearly have the effect of arbitrarily rationing care without medical justification. This is because BMI does not strongly predict complications. It is troubling that the effects are actually not arbitrary, but disproportionately affect minorities, women and patients in low socioeconomic classes. I believe that the decision to proceed with surgery should be based on traditional shared-decision making between the patient and surgeon. Different patients and different surgeons have different tolerances to risk and reward. Giving patients and surgeons freedom to determine the balance that is right for them is, in my opinion, the right way to proceed.”

I agree with Dr. Giori on this. And I absolutely do not judge anyone who chooses to lose weight prior to a surgery. It's upsetting that it is the only option right now for things like safe anesthesia. Unfortunately, patients with a history of disordered eating (which is a significant percentage of fat people!) are left out of the conversation. There is certainly risk involved in either option and it sucks. I am always open to nuanced discussion, and the one thing I remain firm in is that weight loss is not the answer long-term. We should be looking for other solutions in treating fat patients and studying how to make surgery safer. A lot of this could be solved with more comprehensive training and new medical developments instead of continuously trying to make fat people less fat.