#and i think i wont have any time or energy for drawing if im not satisfied with

[chimeride]

Oooh i did this before !!

what's the weirdest sea creature that you think would make for a really cool mermaid design i would like some inspiration!!

*bangs fists on table* LARVAL FLOUNDER LARVAL FLOUNDER LARVAL FLOUNDER

[savannahsdeath]

ELLIE WILLIAMS X ANEMIC!READER HEADCANONS

shes basically taking care of you n all:3

mdni please<3

warnings: anemia, a lil of smut

writers note: i swear its okay to read even if youre not anemic:3 i feel like shed do these thingss even to hers not anemic gf.. also this may seem odly specific because im anemic myself and idk this idea randomly came up to my mind so enjoyy !!

SFW

🌿lets start with the fact that an anemic person tends to become tired and sluggish very easily so they (most of them) enjoy any kind of support

🌿ellie knows that your health is fragile so she tries to be as patient and gentle as possible in your interactions<3

🌿when youre not feeling well shes is usually pretty awkward and she has no idea how to help you😓(my poor awkward gf) BUT whenever she doesnt know what to say she just offers to help you out in small ways like preparing food or running errands

🌿if you both live together her GOAL is to keep your house well-lit and cool as too much heat or brightness makes it hard to focus/uncomfortable for people with anemia

🌿she always makes sure you drink and eat well so you have more energy and all

🌿she always gets mad when you refuse to go to sleep because she knows you need to.. even if youre making a cute excuse like

"but els, i want to stay up so i can spend time with you!"

and then she'll roll her eyes at you and say "we can do whatever you want tomorrow, you need to rest now!"

and would even forcefully make you if needed🙏

🌿if its modern!ellie(just ellie having access to a phone), she'll secretly google things about your illness and things like "how to help your anemic girl from passing out every time she misses breakfast" I JUST KNOW SHED DO THAT ISTGG

🌿she would hate to hear you being guilty. like when you say "im tired of you making all the little house jobs just because i mostly dont have the energy to.." she'll go crazy. not in a bad way, of course, but she wont drop the topic until she makes sure you understand she doesnt mind.

🌿she also definitely hates when you want to convince her into letting you help her.

"fuck, ellie, its not cancer, its anemia! i can at least help you" you say angrily. like, really angrily. because youre kind of right (but she doesnt care)

"we've talked about this, lay down and wait for me," she answers sternly. so sternly you feel shivers down your spine.

🌿but when you eventually talk with her (you manage not to start an argument but really, simply talk) she understands your point and promises she'll let you help her with some things

🌿one time you told her that anemic people are sensitive to the cold and its true but now she overuses it as an excuse to cuddle up with you. like she couldnt just say she wants to be near you. istg, this woman...

🌿she ALWAYS lookout for things that could potentially cause bleeding

🌿she loves when you blush. more than anything. mostly because anemia makes the blood blah blah idc basically anemic people dont really blush so when you actually do she would just stare at you with a wide smile. and when you ask her why is she looking at you like that she wont admit it just like that, shed say something like "you just look more colorful than usual"

NSFW

🌿anemic people often have pale or translucent skin tone and that makes bruises really visible. and we all know ellie can be rough. so when she wakes up after a.. long night and she notices what she did, she feels so bad. like really bad. she apologies as soon as you wake up and of course you try to convince her it doesnt hurt, because it really doesnt and you, in fact, really enjoyed all of this, but she thinks youre just lying to make her feel better

🌿one time you woke up in the late evening after one of your naps. usually, ellie stays with you - awake, watching you sleep and drawing something in her sketchbook but this day you woke up to an empty bed:( you quickly stood up to look for her and after a few steps, your little anemic head started spinning from the sudden move. your vision got blurry and eventually completely black. you felt your knees getting weak but right before you could fall someone caught you. your lovely hero - ellie. you leaned on her as she held you from behind, what could look like a normal hug for someone who just saw you both like that, and you felt the bulge in her pants pressed against you. why the hell would she wear it now? you failed to stay quiet and you let out a soft moan. your girlfriend noticed that but she thought its caused by your health state

"shh, shhh... it's okay"

when your vision was back to normal, you turned around and kissed her as a simple way to thank her for being here with you. before you could think, you were grinding on her lap, getting ready to take her strap while she firmly held your hips, guiding them to move back and forth 🥰🥰

[chickieedee]

Jeff The Killer a.k.a Jeffery Woods

(Scent Headcanon)

•Jeff is similar in scent to Liu, taking a slightly more spicy wooded approach to his scent. Bolder than Liu’s smell but almost always following similar scent families but is always pushing towards stronger more intense smells.

•He leans more towards somewhat muskier and amber like smells as well. His scent is unique and somewhat on the stronger side (i feel it has on occasion gotten him nearly caught)

(DISCLAIMER PLEASE DO NOT MIX THE COLOGNES I HAVE PICKED I AM A LOVER OF PERFUMES NOT A PROFESSIONAL)

With the basics of his scent down, I feel Jeff always picks either a more generic cologne that has a bit of a spin to it (like special editions under the same name or stronger ones). Typically following ones Liu has used or liked while also finding ones he enjoys more within the same line up. For this i’ve gone for about 3 that give off his vibe, Spicy, somewhat wooded/citrusy, with a very confident smell to them.

Those are…..

-Versace Eros Flame (Cool Spice with Italian Lemon, Pepperwood and Vetiver)

-Bad Boy Cobalt Elixir (Earthy/Herbal with Sage, Black Truffle and Resinous Wood)

-Dolce & Gabbana K (Citrus/Woods with Patchouli, Cedarwood, Pimento, Sicillian Lemon and Blood Orange)

Out of all of these my top pick would likely be Versace Eros Flame or D&G K, though i do think he would have each of these within his collection to swap around depending on his mood. As you can see Bad Boy Cobalt Elixir is the sligjtly stronger edition of Liu’s Bad Boy Cobalt. As well as Flame being another version of the OG Versace Eros, much like how Liu had the Versace Eros Energy in his line up.

I’m so sorry for late/inconsistant posts, i keep trying to post these and they just never seem to do it at the times i want. If anyone has any tips as to wwy some days the post button will let me write up a post and some days it wont PLEASE TELL ME IM LOSING IT!!!!!! Anyways here is the drawing i made as usual of Jeff, its been years since i drew him and i’m testing out somewhat newer styles with it so i hope you enjoy! Next up i’m considering doing Jane then moving on to the rest of our favorite guys 💕 Thanks ya’ll

[viperpaws]

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!

★ otter / otto / felix / viper !! it/xi/he !! minor :3 ★ [ this blog is for emotes and occasionally other art !! :3 ]

my emote discord server !! my personal blog @viperpaws-plus !!

alien divider art by @puppershy ★

requests: closed, hiatus

will do :: wordmojis, animals/animal features [ ears/tail ], silly yellow emotes, agere/petre emotes, expressions, simple animated emotes if specifically asked for, any other variants of emotes ive made, etc etc

wont do :: nsfw, gore, characters from games/fandom emotes [ unless specified in 'will do' or its something im interested in, ] ocs/full headmate emotes, anything too complicated, anything i cant draw yet

- try to be very clear when you ask and if you have something specific please provide a reference :3 also please keep in mind that my art style changes a lot! i am still learning anatomy and barely know how to draw animals, i apologize if whatever i make doesnt turn out the way you want it to.

- i work on requests in the order i think theyll take the least time/energy and only when i have the motivation! if i dont do your request its nothing personal !!!

boundaries / rules:

please do not trace or copy any of my emotes. slight edits are fine, i dont mind!! if youre inspired by any of my emotes credit is appreciated but not required :3

do not steal my emotes !!! reblogs are appreciated, but do not repost without credit!!

if you use my emotes in public discord servers please give credit by linking my tumblr somewhere. do not use my emotes for anything other than discord servers or aac

i dont mind spamming and dms are fine :3

do not interact:

obviously i cant control who uses my emotes and anyone is free to use them but id prefer if you didnt interact with my blog if you are any of the following:

kink/nsfw blogs, pro endo, anti-lgbt, anti-agere/petre, proshipper, anti-therian/otherkin

- might be edited later !!

[wundersmith-squall]

ramble about your Ezra Squall redemption arc please?

Absolutely- id be very happy to! I'm quite aware that im about to sound like this:

but you asked so this is what you signed up for /j

Soooooooo it basically wormed its way into my head because of the one time where Squall said something like 'We're wundersmiths we take all of the blame and none of the credit' and I was like, okay sir are you speaking from experience? What was the 'credit' of your actions? And also the mention of the shared enemy, which I at the time took as meaning partially something in the republic that threatens Nevermoor, and partially something to do with the system, the Wunderous Society and like, all the people in charge who are against wundersmiths and are trying to hold Mog back.

Along with these two things, I'd like to think that 100+ years of banishment are long enough to rethink your actions and become a better person.

So, I'll explain it in a way that wont take an entire essay to write out. Basically it goes in my head that, Courage Square was, at least partially an accident, and over 100 years the story got skewed, and the current population turned against Ezra and the Wundersmiths, while the population at the time knew how, Wundersmiths ultimately were trying to help Nevermoor. Courage Square was bad, which is why Ezra was banished, but he wasnt killed. After a tragedy, it would be expected that he'd be punished, but at the time, the Republic as we know it didnt exist, and so being banished out there was a very bad fate, but it was definitely better than death.

Ezra went through a, lot of bad mental states during the first few decades of his banishment, but as he grew older, he came to terms with both his past actions and his current situation, though he still feels guilty about it.

In my head, the Wundersmiths were originally established to protect Nevermoor from the weird creatures of the darkness that the Wunderous Society takes care of now. Those creatures are attracted to Wunder. When Ezra was banished from Nevermoor, there were no longer any Wundersmiths in there, and so WunSoc had to step up and find a way to cover for him. Meanwhile, Ezra, who still loves Nevermoor, establishes Squall Industries, partially to improve conditions in the Republic and partially to provide a bigger, brighter beacon of wunder to attract the majority of the dangerous creatures to a place where he could still handle them. In this same thought, the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow werent something he created, but a group of these dangerous creatures that he managed to tame.

On the same subject are the other cursed children, those who, gather wunder but are unfortunately dont have the gift to control it. The creatures of the darkness, who chase wunder, hunt down these children to take the wunderous energy from them, which they dont survive. Ezra does his best in this situation, but one man can only do so much, and the creatures are relentless.

When he first discovers Morrigan, he's not exactly sure what to do. He tries to just get her as an apprentice through the usual means in the republic, but after a certain mad ginger got in the way he sent the Hunt after her, himself being busy trying to help the other cursed children, but we all know that that attempt didnt work. Ezra, knowing about the wunder critical-mass gather-too-much-without-using-it-makes-bad-things-happen thing, so he used the gossamer to get back into Nevermoor.

Having to enter and view Nevermoor again, even though not physically, took a bit of a toll on him, plus having to interact with someone new while being himself, which is not something he's had to do in a long time. He's also never, had to teach anyone before.

From there, I imagine he goes from frustrated and angry, to irritated but starting to get attached to Mog, to actually being a genuinely good teacher (aka the floof you saw in my drawing, who doesnt sleep nearly enough but still tries his best to be a good person), who is Tired™ and also just as chaotic as Jupiter when he wants to be.

Thank you for listening to my ramble- I can happily expand on anything if anyone happens to like this train of thought. I have further specifics on, basically everything, but this is a solid overview.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

Hiatus

TLDR: my ass has not been recovering but instead stressing myself out badly over tumblr so i will be taking a break from tumblr till it wont affect my mental health and my physical recovery. more details further down

Key Stuff:

Unlike my last hiatus, im talking a complete hiatus, no dash, no checking peoples blogs, no posting art and probably not even posting my writing on ao3.

Commissions will be open via my kofi as they have been, as im already shooting myself in the foot financially with this hiatus and i wont any further. I also won't be raising my prices from £25 to the price i should given how i changed my workflow and the time i take for them, in an attempt to make them more appealing, as other than unemployment benefits and occasional private comms from family they are my only way of making money as i am too disabled to work.

Mutuals please dm me for my discord if you want to keep in contact while im on hiatus<3 i will be active on there

My reasons: Since finishing education i have been mainly focusing on opening commissions, and then trying to draw more/get more popular so i can reach potential clients. Despite telling everyone and myself that this time is for me to recover from the stress of the last... well lifetime, I've thrown myself right into the stressful ordeal of being an artist online trying to make money through that art. And its been awful for my mental health.

Turning what was for so long my escape and joy into what i make money from has made it so much harder to focus on the positives, from lovely tags and replies to people interested in my ocs to discord conversations. I feel raw, drained, and one bad step away from fucking everything up because the stress is tiring me out so much i cant think about how to be polite, or find the energy to be kind no matter how much i want to.

I need to take a break from tumblr to actually try and fucking recover, and i'd rather leave now than after i have worn myself down even further. I hope to return as soon as i can do so in a good mental place, and hopefully i will have physically recovered to some extent in that time as well.

Because i think I'm funny[and this song has been looping in my head all day]:

[obscureother]

🌑 the obscure intro post. 🌑

Hello, this is the obscure other :0 i dont have an official name to go by, but ive been called ob or obscure before so those work fine, or other things you would refer to me through (one time someone called me ghost :0)

This is the blog i hide on from other people, so if you know or find other profiles i own, i request you not expose it for those reasons before im comfortable to. Like lots of bloggers, i dont want some of the people i know discovering the things i get into or like.

so this is just an f/o blog/journaling. . thing. I'm not entirely sure what content will be here, but it will be centered around f/os, self-shipping, and its just to give me a place to yell about the people that live in my/your brain rent-free and know they don’t exist but we pretend they do anyway for comfort reasons and serotonin, dopamine, uhh what other things feel good and ok??

some of it will be for you if I happen to think of something, other times it is for me to explode over my fixation f/os!!

youre also welcome to come talk about your f/os or introduce them to me!! i love hearing about other people's f/os of every kind, so i would love to hear or learn about yours.

This is a comfort blog to me, so there wont be any room for meanness or intended offenses here. Dont come to me with troublesome things or somehow twist/morph my content into something its not, we're just here to have a cool time with our fictional people, bro. . :((

other obscure things below the drop :0

🌑

Obscure general information:

○ They/them ○ Ob is 22 yo. Minors welcome, just look for the tags you need to block for this blog. Know that some of you younger kiddies or goofy youngsters have energies i dont know how to respond to, so sorry if im a little awkward over things sometimes. Nothing is your fault, its only me lol. ○ College student, so ill be slow to respond. Forgive me, i dont ghost others on purpose. ○ Ob loves horror, spooky things, drawing, video games, other movies, dinosaurs, zoology, and old cars :0

🌑

Obscure blog content + information:

○ Nothing explicit/detailed will normally be posted. but: The worst there will be is just being hormonally silly from kind of "rrr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" energy of f/os. Overall, there wont be NSFW on the obscure blog, just the occasional post or goofy thing that might be NSFW-related. Those will be tagged, so look for the obscure tag post below. ○ obscure.other is overly sheepish but loves inbox games/questions/etc. or tagging things so if you want to give those, those are very cool. Those are the coolest thing on tumblr, tho i dont havet the confidence to reblog them for the obscure blog. tho if you give me one, ill give you one too!! DMs, inbox, or tagging me on them is ok. ○ roleplay requests are open, tho college forces me to be selective sometimes or slow. I love roleplay, headcanons, etc. so if you want to of f/os (be it mine, yours, or if we both like one) or other things not f/o-related, that's cool too. ○ the obscure blog is ok for sharing f/os, but if you do, that's ok. Go here: 🌑 the obscure f/o list or if there is one you love and would still like to be friends, just let me know so you can be the only one to talk about them on our DMs. They have tags you can block for when I post of them or the obscure self-inserts. ○ For the obscure blog tags, here is your tag list: 🌑 the obscure blog tags ○ There will be off-topic stuff, but those are less common than selfshipping things so don’t worry. Following the obscure blog comes with the extra benefits of memes and other posts. 👌🏻 ○ There are villain obscure f/os. Know that I don't condone them, and that some have headcanons tweaked for certain things because of those extra bad f/os, so those extra bad things might not be relevant on the blog. Do not go giving trouble for that on the obscure blog, or it will be blocked or ignored. ○ Do not get this too involved in the discourse of other things.  Don’t give the blog labels or talk about them on here. Know that I don't really care for things like incest, zoophilia, pedophilia, or prejudice of any sort. They’re gross and uncomfy for me to come across. Those who go for it or the content will only be blocked or ignored. That's all for that.

thx for checking out the obscure blog :0 buh-bye!!

[bismuthburnsblue]

sooo. im thinking a bit about what cosplay im gonna make next, and i think ive narrowed it down to a couple options, but i want you to have all the options!

other options on the list include: Sailor Neptune (school uniform) - Sailor Moon (i think ive got a group for this!), Janet - The Good Place, Loki - Avengers Academy (the one i started last year), or Female Stede - Our Flag Means Death. a lot of these projects i have some level of plan for & wanna do some day, i just have stronger opinions on Kyoko/Toph. but if any of those sound more interesting to you! i am down. i wouldnt list options i didnt want

propaganda + images below

Kyoko is a costume that i have been planning for SO long, and finally feel like my skills are somewhere where ill be able to do her justice. i have a lot of the materials for this costume, including the wig, and even have a pattern plan for the main part of the garment. HOWEVER. my main material is velvet. and none of my other materials are any nicer to work with. i want to make the boots from scratch, i want to learn new wig making techniques, i want to make the spear to its full potential. this is going to be a big, complicated, time consuming project, and ill probably put it down at least once for my own mental wellness. its a dream costume of mine and i want to do it justice. its going to be a challenge, super technical and precise, but i think itll be worth it. its also going to be less comfortable, corset & velvet are not... the best con combo (also its a shorter skirt than i usually like, so ill be emotionally uncomfortable)

(also the more i think about it the more im... eh about the colour of my main velvet so um. might end up rebuying that)

Toph on the other hand, i have none of the materials for. i do have a source idea for the cream fabrics but nothing else at all. my design plan is sorta NATLA inspired- still the animated Toph costume, just drawing on the fabric and textures the netflix show used (especially with the Kyoshi warriors), which means some Sourcing will have to be done to find fabrics with the right weight & drape for my plans. this style of looser patterning is also new to me, not to mention pants.... though i think Toph would be a good project to avenge myself there honestly.

in general, this is gonna be a much easier make, and a nice comfy costume for cons, but at the same time, its a lot of expense out the gate, fabric shopping i dont neeeeed to do, and definitely still has some areas that test my skills (wig in Particular). i havent put as much time and energy into thinking about this build, but it has been on my list for some time and i wont regret making it.

(pictures of the others i mentioned. obviously no picture for my stede design but i was thinking of drawing inspo from the historical dresses in the show- some of marys, and evelyns, and the crowd scenes- and obviously stede himself, and then also reference real history. i dont own anything suitable for this time period so the first project would be stays i suspect!)

[omori-sv-au]

this blogs anniversary is coming up on the 27th which is CRAZY so heres a wip of an anniversary piece and also an explanation as to why i suddenly dropped off the face of the earth

tbh 90% of the reason ive been gone is bc i moved out and started up university, theres kinda a lot going on in my life rn but the main gist of it is that my program is super intensive to the point where ive had basically no time or energy to draw basically anything, let alone update this blog LMAO

and then i just kinda stopped checking tumblr or most of my social medias for a hot minute but thats another story anyways i wont lie the last couple updates i did back in august felt more like an obligation for me to do rather than something i was actively motivated to work on and i decided that i dont want to put in all this effort to keep updating when i don't have the motivation to do it because the last thing i want is to put out a half assed story not only for u guys but for me

this story isnt abandoned at all, i still think about them a lot and i still very much want to update!!! but until i can get that kinda energy back that i used to have im gonna take a step back because i want to keep updating bc i like to do it, not because i feel like i have to yknow

anyways sorry for that big rant and also for disappearing for a while but i think my break from tumblr has done me good

im gonna start posting my non-omori art on my personal blog @hyperfunnyblog soon because i wanna get back into it, and ill probably answer some asks too if anyone has any anyways holy fuck thats enough thanks for reading this blob of text

[lawboyao3]

im just giving an update since its been like 6 months

i havent worked on the story at all n i dont see that changing. i cant write at all or rly do anything. i actually mean that im not mentally capable. i dont have the mental or emotional energy to really do anything, so if i try to write or do any of my former hobbies, i either literally cant think at all, or i immediately get stressed and exhausted and ragequit. i havent forced myself to write bc im not a masochist, but when ive forced myself to draw its always just made me miserable, yielded dogshit results, and ruined my day. i cant think at the level i used to, or do anything at the level i used to. my brain has kind of rotted in my skull and turned me useless.

so what ive been doing is sitting around boredly every day waiting to see if my brain repairs itself. which i have no clue if it ever will or not. but by this time next year ill graduate and have to get a fulltime job, and when that happens ill never be able to do anything again. i didnt have the energy for a full workday even when my brain worked. i could barely do a single thing besides working or sleeping. so next year my life will be over and i dont think ill ever be able to write again.

even if my brain gets better ill still be too slow at writing n take months to finish a single chapter. so unless a miracle happens or i get rich and hire a ghostwriter i feel like things wont work out. im not abandoning the story yet just in case, but if i do then ill post the full notes for the rest of the story so there is an ending. at this point i really just wish someone else would write it for me. i dont even want to write. it feels like torture 99% of the time and u have to rewrite everything 900 times just to make it not shit, not even actually good just not shit. its so horrible that the only reason i want this story finished is so ill never have to write again

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

what am i if not an artist?

i havent been able to create anything at all recently. nothing good anyways. its weird i used to create big gorgeous pieces of art almost daily but now i can barely bring myself to doodle anything, im not sure what happened. i think it may just be me getting older, im more critical of myself and i dont have the time or energy to create anything anymore. its sad really. im not really good at school, im not extremely attractive, im bad at sports and i dont really have any other talents or anything all i was ever really good at all at was art. im an artist. its a fundamental part of who i am and how i view the world. i see the world through shapes, lines, colors, textures, contrasts i see the world as a huge piece of art. now i cant create anything in it. when i had my whole NAHS induction thingy a part of the pledge stood out to me, "i promise to leave this world more beautiful than when i came into it" (thats not word for word but it was something like that). id like to live by that. that i will put beautiful things in this world in the hope that maybe it will help someone somewhere. i fear im losing my art. losing myself really. ive always wanted my art in a museum. any museum, small, big, local, famous doesnt matter just somewhere where it might help someone. i love museums i wanna work in one one day. i fear though that this art rut will last and i wont be able to create anything good again. i used to make portraits, comics, landscapes, collages, paintings, drawings you name it i made it and id do at least one daily but now my sketchbooks sit collecting dust. if im not an artist anymore than what am i? art has been so ingrained in who i am. ive always been an artist since i was little. now? theres a hole where my creativity should be. it makes me sad and confused. why cant i make anything anymore? i want to but i just cant. its a weird feeling, almost like theres something wrong with me. something is off. i find myself comparing myself to other artists too and i feel behind. like my art looks so much less clean and good than my classmates. i want to be an artist, my hands want to create, my mind is overflowing with ideas but there is something in me thats making me unable to put all of this to use. i am an artist. i love art. i love creating. i just cant for some reason. i know art doesnt have to be "good" but mine does.

[fearowkenya]

ff7 digimon AU - yuffie's impmon

i really like it when digimon's appearances are slightly altered so they can be matchies with their partner!! more commentary under readmore

yuffie's impmon - she/her- crest of sincerity

i think impmon is a good choice for yuffie because it's got Silly Little Guy energy while also being sneaky and mischievous. this impmon in particular would pick up a lot of design cues from yuffie after they become partners: the smiley face marking is engraved onto the headband that replaces the red bandanna, and i added some shuriken-looking spikes that she can launch from her tail (they regrow fairly quickly!)

i also thought it could be fun if i gave her some racoon/tanuki traits, like weird little paws and the face-mask markings (raccoon back feet are a nightmare to draw btw). its always been really unclear to me if the situation going on on impmon's head is supposed to be horns or ears, so i chose ears because i think it's cuter. im not sure if im going to keep the leaf marking on the forehead white - i wanna try making it green or reddish purple but i feel like it wont look quite right. we'll find out next time i guess!

in terms of personality, impmon is starkly different from yuffie from an outsider's perspective - even though she's also a materia-obsessed little thief who enjoys a good Scheme, she is quiet and shy, mostly staying in the shadows and out of the way. that said, for all the timid behavior, impmon can be very angry and spiteful: she is highly mistrustful and unforgiving, prone to silently holding a grudge for an indefinite amount of time. she hates liars, but "yuffie doesnt count 'cause she sucks at lying and i can always tell".

even though impmon knows when yuffie is hiding something, any attempt to get her to talk about whats bothering her ends with yuffie just digging in her heels and refusing to budge. this is probably due to how recent their partnership is - i think they met shortly before yuffie got to junon, so impmon has no idea who sonon is or what happened in midgar. because of that, their teamwork is very inconsistent and wholly dependent on yuffie's mood - as long as sensitive subjects are avoided, impmon finds yuffie easy to be around. in fact, yuffie's impulsiveness is fun and even sort of refreshing, and it brings out a sillier, bolder, and much more outwardly confident impmon. but when yuffie is acting recklessly as a result of being in a bad state of mind, impmon freezes up and shrinks back, unsure of what to do or how to help her.

i have the exact circumstances of yuffie and impmon's first encounter mostly worked out but i dont want this post to be like six miles long so i'll stop here. might as well drop this in the main tags, though idk what to tag this as bc like. yuffie isnt really in this post ?? fuck it we ball i guess

[puddlesl1me]

oh im just doing so great. so fantastic.

and it doesnt even matter! none of it matters at all! because in the end no one sees this, no one cares about this, and no one can help me!

and its so awful of me, to want to get help from others in this way, to want to get help from people who are struggling so much more than i am. they dont have the energy to help. they cant help because they need to help themselves first. so im not allowed to ask for help, and yet i do, like the selfish crab i am.

and i expect help as well! i want all my problems that i bring up in vent posts to be mentioned by someone, and thats so awfully needy of me! who am i to ask for that, to ask people to help me in this way? im not nearly important enough for that, nor can anyone actually help me.

...theres actually no reason that i should be feeling like this. that i should want to die, that i should want to feel worse so i can die. everyone else actually has reasons to feel bad. bad parents, horrible accidents, any number of things. and guess what?

I DONT EVEN HAVE ANY TRAUMA!!! IM NOTHING!!! THERES NO REASON I SHOULD BE LIKE THIS!!!

and yet here i am, attempting to steal the spotlight from others, just to feel like something. here i am, attempting to act like others, so i can feel important. theres nothing actually wrong with me, is there? my parents have almost always been good to me, ive never gotten seriously injured in a way that would affect me mentally, ive never experienced a great loss, ive got no reason to feel like this.

and yet. and yet i do. aaaaall to give me some sort of identity. aaaall to make me seem like an actual person rather than a cardboard cutout. a crabbing awful cardboard cutout, too, since i cant even play the role im supposed to play.

maybe thats it. maybe the key is to just continue with my role

BUT I CANT. I CANT DO THAT. ill kill myself before then

oh, but ill kill myself anyways, wont i? theres no reason for me to be here, and dont you dare try to argue otherwise. everyone i know can find a replacement for me. sorry. im not too concerned about all of you. youll lose me and itll all turn out fine.

i just need to make sure i stay feeling awful. i have to wake up awful and go to school awful and go home awful and go to bed awful. a week of this should do it. maybe more if im still feeling like a coward.

and i need to find a way to distract my therapist. i cant be talking about this if i want to die. theyll try to stop me and it wont go well and i CANT HAVE THAT. so i need topics to discuss without drawing suspicion. so that i dont lose my therapist but i also dont alert them that im not doing well. that would erase all my progress.

hhhhhh these vent posts are so annoying to make. i hate that im forced to make them. im sorry for subjecting you all to this. i know im terrible and awful. you cant help and im making you think that you can. im sorry. its awful of me to do that to yall. im the only one that knows better, and im setting an awful role model.

supposedly, i wanted to schedule this so i didn't feel bad about posting it when someone else is doing bad. i suppose ill schedule it for... 7:30, or maybe 7, well say. that way people have some amount of time to see it. maybe.

...not like anyone other than one person will. not like it matters. because people seeing this wont help. no one can reasonably respond to all of this. no one can reasonably help me either. i just need to suffer for the next week or so and i can kill myself. itll be fine. its fine. its fine.

...oh look at me, coming back to this over and over, trying to add more to sentence myself to worse fates. you know people wont read all of this. why bother. the more you add, the less theyll see, the less theyll read, the less theyll respond to. better to spam people like the crab you are.

...like you have been for the past week, with your daily vent posts. no one wants to see this. n-

no, stop. we arent doing this right now. we said wed end this, so lets do that. sorry everyone.

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[loversgothic]

Maybe you've done it already and I missed it, but what would Gabriel's two-week-notice look like in the Ultradanse AU?

This has nothing to do with any other comments you have made about feral Gabriel or any other desire to see how he changes from The Gilded Nightingale to The Nightingale.

:3c. OOOHH. WELL

ive been really trying to think about that hard, since comparing the characters to those in fairytales and ballets tended to skew the story a bit.

and uh... my descriptions wont be the best.. im not the best at explaining things in ballet terms moreso just based on my perception of the art form and what i see in it through my eyes.

also im gonna go off of the concept that ultradanse is almost like a stage performance, a show

the most i can do to describe how it looks is to compare it to my vision for the first encounter with Odile/V1... because of the way i designed his lil costume he has a sort of princely look, and even though hes yknow. out to kill V1 because V1 traversed past his warnings, his dancing with V1 then is much more... poised. it might feel a bit distant, maybe it might even seem like hes unsatisfied doing it, as at the time there is no personal connection with V1, no love nor hatred. its not romantic, hardly so. i dont know if this is a good example, but i was thinking abt Prince Siegfried's dancing in Waltz: Tempo di valse...

once V1 is pretty much responsible for his 2-week notice, i like to think Nightingale/Gabriel starts to match V1's high energy, his grace is kinda going out the window... itd be much more intense. if its a pas de deux hes probably getting his fucking hands all over them like hes about to tear them apart. hes abandoning that princely facade. i feel like though in the second half a pas de deux between them would make them slow their pace. now that both of them are dancing together and able to match intensity, it starts to slow down into something more... romantic? yeah :3 i like to think this, this is where any romantic tension starts

now about how he changes from the gilded nightingale to the nightingale. you see... after their second encounter, Gabriel is convinced hes going to die, after all thats what he was told. once he returns from heaven, he seeks out V1 to ask of one final request. he doesn't want to die lonely, and asks V1 to dance with him until the final hour runs out. V1 has no reason to accept his request, other than something pulling at it do so and the possibility it could take a little bit more blood before he's gone. dancing together, progressively Gabriel becomes weaker and weaker.

i REALLY wanted to keep this secret for a scene i wanted to draw but honeeesttlyyyy i dont think its too bad if i share it. after all, im not sharing V1's feelings here. im sharing Gabriel's :3

i had this whole.. plan

my thing abt pas de deuxs is that. i like to find symbolism in the fact that traditionally, the male dancer is supposed to support the ballerina to be able to perform moves she typically wouldnt be able to on her own without someone holding her.

towards the end of their dance, V1 switches positions to hold and uplift Gabriel instead, who has this entire time been in the place of the male dancer. in his approaching final moments V1 lays him down on the ground. he's hardly moving, and V1 holds onto him, finding itself not wanting him to just... disappear.

now im still figuring out HOW i want this to work. but i thought abt V1 in desperation, grasping onto the sides of his helmet and ripping his helmet in half being the symbolic thing that sets him free. the thing about the gilded nightingale, is that the armor is the bird's cage. Gabriel's design in this AU only really has the helmet and no other armor, so it just... makes sense to me. this is what sets him free. how the transformation works though? i am.. still thinking about it. you might need to give me a bit to think about that

[lokilysolbitch]

yes its the about me post

first of all no -isms, -phobias, pro-ED, pro cringe culture, or any bigotry. dont be a dick on purpose in here thank you :) in this house we stay out of peoples business if theyre not affecting anyone or if theyre not culturally appropriating. i dont care if you think it looks dumb

anyways i like witchcraft, deity work and worship, tarot, and a lot of non witchy/polytheisty adjacent things but if you give me the opportunity to make a list i genuinely will not shut up :D ill put most of my interests in the tags

im a cottagecore girlie in the "i grew up next to a pond and regularly went fishing and orange picking in my backyard" typa way but also in the "floral dress and mushroom decor" typa way.

im part of a (suspected PDID) system but never do sign offs or anything just don't get thrown off if we say we instead of i. most of the time its the same person posting anyways. also im ace lesbian, disabled, and black.

I put active effort into being kind (not nice) to myself and others and considering that sometimes people are still learning. I wont put someone down for accidentally saying the wrong term or not knowing something. but if you chose to stay ignorant you'll probably get blocked. you still have a chance to learn! not here though <3

okay bye bye kisses xxxxxxx

update: all my original posts and a few of the things reblogged and commented on are under the tag #handmadeorganicpost

update additional specific tags to look at ig:

#makeaccesibilityCUNTY2023 -outfits i style around mobility aids

#aeryn oc -info on my dnd character

#handmadeorganicart -any type of art i made including poetry, drawings, writing/prose, collages, etc

one day ill have the energy to add the link to those

and below is pics of all my blog themes in case i changed my pfp and you cant figure out if you know me. also theyre cute