#and i only started that in sophomore year
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yungsapphic · 1 day ago
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Not to be sappy and personal but my sophomore year of college, I straight up told my friends that I want to hang out with them every day, but I know that if I do, they will never want to. They've been so fucking understanding.
I've also just started telling people I love being alone(which is very true). I tried being straight up about when I don't have the capacity to hang, and it might have surprised people at first, but it only took them maybe a hang or two before they adjusted.
One thing about humans is they love having an explanation and when the token autistic dork is happy, everyone else is too. Even if it means I pull an Irish goodbye at 10:37pm. If I do say goodbye, it's a quick "alright, I think I'm heading out" or "it's been real, y'all" and then a harmonious "oh, okay, do you want us to walk you to your car?"
It truly is never your fault. Find your people and they will love every second of time, even if it's limited, that they get with you.
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enemiestolovershoe · 2 days ago
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JJ Maybank and reader/Y/N/you where he proposes right after high school would be so cute and the fluff is killing me rn
Forever Starts Tonight
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JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summary: Y/N and JJ Maybank are high school sweethearts, inseparable and completely in love. Graduation night brings a beautiful surprise that changes everything.
Words: 1k
Warnings: none
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You’d always known JJ Maybank had a charm about him, one that made heads turn and hearts flutter. He was the kind of guy everyone noticed. With his wild blond hair, mischievous blue eyes, and that grin that was equal parts trouble and delight, it was hard not to get swept up in his energy. But you? You had the one thing others didn’t. You had his heart.
It all started sophomore year, on a day that could only be described as chaotic. It was your first beach bonfire, and you’d gone with a few friends, excitement bubbling in your chest. The Pogues were already there—laughing, joking, and having the time of their lives. You’d known of them, but hadn’t really known them. JJ, though, had always stood out. He was loud and unapologetically himself, something you admired from afar.
Somehow, that night, you ended up beside him by the fire, his laughter infectious as he told a story about him and Pope getting chased by a goat on a fishing trip.
“So, you’re telling me the goat just…attacked?” you’d laughed, trying to keep a straight face.
JJ raised his hands in surrender, his grin wide. “I swear! That thing had it out for me. Pope just left me to fend for myself!”
You’d ended up spending the rest of the night with him, talking until the fire was nothing but embers. By the time the sun started to rise, he’d slipped his jacket around your shoulders and walked you home. After that night, JJ was in your life constantly—texting you funny stories, showing up at your door unannounced, even inviting you to hang out with the Pogues. Eventually, somewhere between late-night talks and shared laughs, friendship turned into something more. JJ Maybank wasn’t just the life of the party—he was your best friend, your rock, and the boy who made your heart race.
The whole school noticed when you two got together. JJ Maybank and you, the girl who’d somehow managed to calm his wild spirit. You became the “it” couple. Whether it was cheering him on at soccer games or sitting on the beach together under the stars, you two were inseparable. JJ was a handful—reckless, stubborn, and impulsive—but he loved you fiercely, with a loyalty that was unwavering.
As graduation approached, things felt surreal. You and JJ would often talk about the future, but he’d get this nervous look whenever the subject of life after high school came up. You knew he had his struggles—life hadn’t always been kind to him. But no matter what, you were determined to face it together.
Then, on the night of graduation, JJ surprised you.
After the ceremony, you were standing on the beach, watching the waves crash under the moonlight. JJ had pulled you away from the others, his arm draped over your shoulder as you walked.
“Can you believe we’re done with high school?” you asked, smiling at him.
He shrugged, though there was something different in his eyes. “Kinda crazy, huh? We survived.”
You laughed. “Yeah, and that’s a big deal for you.”
He held his hands up defensively. “Hey, I managed to graduate! With only, like, a few close calls. Don’t I deserve some credit?”
“Fine, fine. You’re basically a genius, Maybank,” you teased, nudging him playfully.
JJ’s face softened as he took your hand, his fingers entwining with yours. “I’m serious, though. I couldn’t have done it without you. I mean, I wouldn’t have even shown up to half of my classes if it wasn’t for you dragging me there.”
“Someone had to keep you out of trouble,” you said, grinning up at him.
JJ took a deep breath, suddenly looking nervous, his gaze fixed on the sand as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“JJ? Are you okay?”
He looked up at you, his eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. “You know… I never thought I’d get this far. And I know I mess up a lot, and maybe I’m not the guy you deserve. But you…you make me better, you know? You’re my everything.”
Your heart raced as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box.
“JJ…” you whispered, covering your mouth with your hands as tears pricked at your eyes.
He got down on one knee, his gaze never leaving yours. “I don’t have a lot, and I can’t promise you an easy life. But I can promise you all of me, forever. Will you marry me?”
You couldn’t help the tears that slipped down your cheeks as you nodded, your voice breaking. “Yes, JJ. Yes!”
He grinned, relief and joy written all over his face as he slipped the ring onto your finger. The two of you barely noticed the cheers erupting from your friends, who had been watching from a distance. JJ pulled you into his arms, spinning you around as you laughed.
“You’re stuck with me now, Maybank,” you whispered as he set you down, pressing his forehead to yours.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he murmured, his eyes shining with love.
The night passed in a blur of laughter, tears, and promises of a future filled with love and adventure. And as you stood there, hand in hand with JJ, you knew you’d found your forever.
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dat1angel · 2 days ago
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Oreos and Apologies
The sun blazed in the heat of late spring as Dash made his way out of the locker rooms. The wet droplets still clinging to his hair from his post-practice shower felt cool on his skin. Dash took his time as he walked across school grounds towards the parking lot, enjoying the atmosphere of the empty campus. As team captain he was always last to leave, needing to make sure everyone else got out in a timely manner and all equipment used was properly cleaned and put away, but he didn’t mind. It was nice to not have to put on the performance of the energetic jock when he was exhausted from running drills. So imagine Dash’s surprise when he turned a corner and saw a person sitting against a building, their knees drawn to their chest and head resting in their arms. 
 Was that… Fenton? It was. What was Fenton doing here? Dash froze. Surely he didn’t hear that right? Nope, there it was again. A faint sniffling. Fenton was crying.
Dash wasn’t sure what to do. If this was one of his friends he would comfort them without hesitation but he didn’t know if his presence would be appreciated. Dash knew that he hadn’t been the kindest to Fenton in the past. Who was he kidding, he was an asshole, but he had matured during the summer between sophomore and junior year and stopped picking on him. Even still, that didn’t make them friends in any sense of the word. Hell, he didn’t think he ever apologized. Fenton hadn’t noticed him yet. He could just turn around and leave, pretend he never saw anything, but it just didn’t sit right with him to walk away when the other boy was clearly distressed.
With an internal sigh, prepared for this to bite him in the ass, Dash walked over and sat himself next to Fenton. He kept his gaze stubbornly looking in front of him, even when Fenton jumped at the sudden presence of a person next to him and jerked his head to look up at him. God, Dash was regretting this already. With his eyes still firmly locked in front of him, Dash reached into his backpack, pulled out a snack-size pack of Oreos, and held it out for Fenton to take. Dash couldn’t help but feel nervous as Fenton looked at him, then at the Oreos, then back at him. Like he was being judged. Whatever he was looking for, he must have deemed Dash acceptable because he slowly reached a hand up and took the offered snack.
They sat there in a half awkward half comfortable silence, the only sound the occasional crumple of plastic and the soft munching of cookies. Dash knew he needed to talk to Fenton sooner or later, and while this may not have been the best circumstances, Fenton didn’t seem any more willing to start conversation.
“I owe you an apology,” Dash stated bluntly. He tried not to let himself be deterred by the way Fenton turned to look at him but didn’t say anything. “I’ve owed you one for a long time actually.” Fenton actually let out a small snort of laughter at that but didn’t interrupt.
“I’m really sorry for the way I treated you in the past. I could go on about how I was a stupid teen, or I was going through my own shit and I took it out on you, or how peer pressure made it feel okay to pick on the ‘nerds’”, Dash made air quotes with his fingers here, “but that doesn’t excuse my behavior. I was a dick and you didn’t deserve that. You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect you to, but I felt like I had to say it.”
Dash trailed off after that, not sure what else he could say, or if he even should say anything else. Thankfully, Fenton saved him from having to.
“If you had given me that little speech at the beginning of the school year, I would’ve laughed in your face,” Fenton’s voice was still somewhat scratchy from his previous crying, “I’d have thought ‘How dumb does he think I am? I’m not falling for that.’” 
Dash’s face burned with shame. He should have known this was a bad idea. 
“But you know?,” Fenton continued, ”Ever since the start of the school year, I’ve noticed the difference in treatment. No degrading nicknames, no threats or acts of violence, you’ve even told other kids to leave me alone. Shit, I’d say you’ve actually been pretty nice to me. I’ll admit I was pretty suspicious at first. Kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to drop the act and go back to how things have always been, but it never did. And now? Maybe you’ve pulled off the long con and I’m an idiot for ever believing you could change, but I think you’re being genuine. So I accept your apology and I do forgive you.”
While it had started rough, Fenton’s voice was firm by the time he finished speaking. There was no waver or doubt in his tone and when Dash looked over at him, Fenton was looking right at him. The eye contact was intense but it showed the real trust that Fenton was placing in him. Trust to not screw him over. Trust that Dash was being sincere. Maybe it was that trust that made Fenton feel comfortable enough to share his thoughts.
“You probably think I’m pathetic right now,” Fenton started, “sitting here after school hours, all alone, crying. But then again, maybe you don’t. Maybe you’d understand. Afterall, in all the years I was bullied, even you respected when I came out.”
Dash’s eyes widened as he realized what Fenton was implying. He let himself see the signs that he didn’t know to look for before. The way Fenton drew up his knees, his arms wrapped around them, as if to shield as much of his chest from view as possible. The way that, if you were able to see past the obstruction, there seemed to be more volume beneath his shirt. Dash let his gaze move downwards and- there. On the ground were torn scraps of fabric. Fenton tensely tracked his movement as Dash slowly reached out to grab one. Upon further inspection Dash could tell that it had once been a binder.
Anger coursed through Dash at the thought of someone tearing Fenton’s binder off of him. Fenton had been right when he said that Dash has always respected his transition. This is because Dash has a cousin who is trans. A cousin that is more like a best friend to him. A cousin who he would kill for if anyone tried to be transphobic to them. So yes, in all the years of bullying, Dash never made a single remark about Fenton being trans. He made sure all his friends knew that he wouldn’t tolerate it if they did either. It had always been too easy to imagine it being his cousin in the victim's place whenever he saw that kind of behavior.
“Who,” Dash said, not taking his gaze off the fabric scrap in his hand. His voice was steely calm, despite the rage burning behind his eyes.
“..What?” Fenton asked, shock evident on his face at Dash’s tone.
“Who. Did this.”
Maybe it was his emotionally compromised state, maybe it was the fact that he had never seen Dash like this, but Fenton didn’t try to argue or say it wasn’t something he should worry himself with. He just dazedly said, “Eric M.”.
Dash nodded to himself before pushing himself off the ground and into a standing position. He briefly dusted himself off before turning to Fenton and holding out a hand.
“C’mon, I’ll give you a ride home,” Dash said. Fenton studied the offered hand. His gaze briefly flicked up to Dash’s face before dropping back down as he hesitantly accepted. 
The two boys slowly started their walk to the school parking lot. It was quiet but not uncomfortably so. Dash frowned as he noticed the way Fenton’s arms came up and wrapped self-consciously across his chest. While the shirt he was wearing wasn’t particularly body conforming, without his binder there was a clear definition. Without saying a word, Dash shrugged off his letterman jacket and draped it over Fenton’s shoulders. The jacket that sat comfortably on Dash absolutely swamped the smaller boy. Fenton gave Dash a questioning look but Dash gave no comment so neither did he.
It didn’t take long for them to reach Dash’s car and after that it was only a ten minute drive to the Fenton household. Dash pulled to the curb right in front of the door. He watched as Fenton slid off the borrowed jacket and gave it back with a quiet “Thanks” before exiting the vehicle. Once out of the car, Fenton offered him a small wave then made his way inside. 
Dash sat there in his parked car even after Fenton was out of sight just thinking over all that had happened. When he finally drove away, he didn’t go home. He had something he needed to take care of first.
~000~
Danny hadn’t expected anything to come from his impromptu chat with Dash when he went to school the following Monday. He walked into school and made his way to meet up with Sam and Tucker before class. He was tense as he walked into homeroom but let out a sigh of both relief and confusion when he saw the empty desk that belonged to Eric. The desk remained empty all throughout first period. And second. And third.
As classes broke for lunch Danny made a quick stop at his locker, assuring his friends he would meet them in the cafeteria after getting what he needed. He was distracted from rifling through his belongings by a soft thud to his right. When he turned to look he found Dash casually leaning against the neighboring locker.
“Hear what happened to Eric?” Dash asked, his tone dripping with faux innocence. His expression was reminiscent of a cat that was very pleased with itself as he gazed out at the hallway. 
“No?” Danny replied, not even trying to hide his confusion.
“Word is he’ll be out of school for a week on bed rest. Broke his leg,” Dash turned to make eye contact now, “Skateboarding accident. Or something.” 
Danny’s expression shifted to one of surprise as he registered what Dash told him and he couldn’t help but feel touched.
“...Or something,” Danny said. 
The two boys stood in silence for a moment, unsaid words hanging in the air, before Dash pushed himself off the wall and started walking away.
“See ya around, Fenton,” He called over his shoulder.
Danny couldn’t help the soft, genuine smile that grew on his face as he watched Dash’s retreating form.
“See ya around, Dash.”
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kaijusmart · 4 months ago
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for the first time in my life since starting twin peaks in 2017 i have finished the first season
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wbhsdo-wafaan-mycwaotp · 2 days ago
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Alright folks, I'm back after several months of hiatus I swear there's radioapple in here, there's just a build up of radiostatic angst first. Mayhaps I will post the aftermath in another reblog. Idk man, I just have a lot of thoughts. Whatever. They get married in a few years anyway
Alastor is in school for radio broadcasting, obviously
His best friend, Rosie, is in school for theatre.
They met during orientation, they were in the same small group and have been inseparable ever since.
Vox is in school for Television broadcasting
Alastor and Vox are in the same year, and they end up as randomly assigned roommates their freshman year.
They realized they were both broadcasting majors, just in different concentrations and hit it off from there
it's pretty normal for their freshman year. It's not until things start kicking off sophomore year that things start getting spicy.
Alastor gets hired at the school's local radiostation as a paid intern. He puts a good word in with the tv station for his roommate, Vox.
"He's a charmer for sure. Viewers would love him!"
Vox gets hired as an editor pretty quickly in the second semester of their sophomore year after looking at his portfolio and grades. He's an impressive guy!
Alastor gets a little airtime every once in a while, but not too often simply due to there being no room for a new show
Vox and Alastor are still friends, they bicker back and forth and Vox teases Alastor about how he's just a paper pusher - which is fine, paper is simply better than all of the mess that computers make anyway.
UNTIL
Someone calls out sick from the radio station and there's no one to take the slot on the air.
enter Alastor
Vox is in the editing room next to Studio A, where Alastor is about to go live
Alastor starts the show, hardly looking at the script, and he's an absolute natural
Vox sits there for a second going "Oh!!! He's good at this!!" and promptly can't focus on any of his editing. What can he say, Al's voice is enchanting.
After the show, the ratings are soaring, so Alastor, only an end of year sophomore, gets offered a slot on the air. Four days weekly, mainly on the weekend to save time for classes.
His time on air coincides with Vox's editing times
(dun dun dun)
Vox is stuck listening to Alastor's perfect little radio voice every time he's editing, and it seems like no matter what noise-canceling headphones he puts on, he can't get that smooth voice out of his head.
This does nothing to sedate Vox's ever-growing crush on Alastor, only frustrating him further.
The summer comes around and Alastor is offered an extra day in the studio and a paid position. He's now on every weekday.
Vox is editing one day, trying his hardest to concentrate, but all he can hear is Alastor laughing with some call in, before answering in a borderline flirtatious tone.
he ends up standing and throwing a fit, accidentally kicking his chair into the shared wall.
The sound interrupts Alastor's broadcast. His first on-air call in broadcast.
The two end up back in their apartment and Alastor corners Vox, questioning him on why he was throwing a ridiculous fit and trying to sabotage his opportunities.
They get into their first fight, screaming back and forth for the better part of an hour, before they finally give up and make up.
Alastor, feeling kind, suggests to their boss that they bring Vox onto a segment or two on the TV side of things to give him some on-air experience.
Vox did start getting airtime, a few times a week to be a guest on the main segment, but the studio is broke, so they can't pay him or offer too much extra time. Nonetheless, the audience loves his quick whit and charisma.
The two are friendly again, everything is okay.
They're shooting the shit at Alastor's desk when the studio manager comes up and tells Alastor he's going to be the main guest on the morning news show. This isn't an offer, its a requirement. The people want to see the face behind the voice.
Vox keeps his composure in front of their manager, but as soon as he rounds the corner, Vox storms off without a word.
The next day comes around and Alastor is not pleased with being on TV, but tries to reconcile things with vox by giving him a shout out on the air.
"You know, I'm not exactly cut out for being in front of the camera, a microphone is more my style. But my friend, Exavier Vox, is wonderful in front of the camera. You really need to bring him on some day!"
Vox, who is shadowing the show director that day, thinks that Alastor is mocking him. His pen breaks in his hand, he blames it on the pen and excuses himself to go clean up in the bathroom.
While on the show, Alastor mentions a few times that he's bringing a special guest onto his show, and that everyone in the college should tune in
Vox gets excited, thinking its himself.
Privately, Alastor mentions that it's not Rosie announcing a new show or anything like that, that would simply be an advertisement slot. It's something much more exciting than that. Plus, Rosie's already been on the show too much.
It hits Vox that, well, he's never been on the show.
A few days pass and Vox hasn't been asked to join the show.
The day of the show comes around. Alastor leaves the house looking much nicer than he usually does, even sporting a blazer over his usual suspenders and bowtie.
Vox goes into the office later than Alastor, but spots him escorting someone around. He peaks out of his office and sees none other than the Student Body President, Lucifer Morningstar.
Vox absolutely snaps.
After the broadcast, Alastor walks into the apartment and Vox immediately starts screaming. They get into an absolutely nasty fight, the worst they've ever had. They're throwing pens and books, it looks like your parents fights during the recession of 2008.
A few days later, Alastor is asked to observe Vox's broadcast, one of his first solo broadcasts. When the room is asked for comments, Alastor stays silent. The only time he says anything is to make a noncommittal comment about how Vox should speak up and enunciate his words better. Vox is fuming, and the producer agrees.
He sees this as utter and complete disrespect.
They end up going home separately, but as soon as both of them are in the apartment, the blowout fight happens.
Alastor storms out, slamming the door as he leaves to the only other safe place he can think of now that the studio is closed and Rosie is home for the weekend: his new friend Lucifer's house.
Alastor arrives with a smile so obviously fake that even nieve Lucifer can see through it.
Lucifer invites him in and makes a pot of coffee, knowing they're going to need it for the night.
Coffee switches into wine, and by the end of the night, Lucifer knows nearly everything about Alastor and Vox's dwindling friendship. They two somehow migrated to the floor, leaning against the couch with two empty bottles between their legs, a third being passed between them,
Lucifer offers to let Alastor stay on his couch for a few days while things simmer down. Alastor happily accepts.
The two get close quick. Alastor admits that he used to think Lucifer was annoying and not fit to be the student body leader. Lucifer admits that he used to think Alastor was pretentious and not worthy of all the attention the studio and media gave him.
By day four of Alastor and Lucifer practically living together, Alastor has to step outside to call Rosie, who was already driving home, to figure out this strange feeling in his stomach. Why did he feel so nervous around his friend? Why were his palms sweaty and his cheeks warm? Why did he want to impress him so badly?
You've got a crush, Alastor! Oh my- I never thought I'd see the day!
Alastor denies it for a few days, but finds that he doesn't want to leave Lucifer's side. Maybe Rosie's onto something. She did always know more about Alastor than he did himself.
About two weeks go by, Alastor's been avoiding Vox like the plague, but he eventually needs to go and get more of his things and clothes. He brings Lucifer with him, needing the moral support from his new not-boyfriend.
He thought he had the timing correct, thinking Vox was at the studio editing. Apparently, he had switched his editing slot with someone else that day. Alastor had no idea.
They enter the apartment and it's dead silent for a moment as everyone simply stares at each other.
As soon as Vox stands, Alastor steps in front of Lucifer protectively. This motion snaps Vox's patience. Vox looks Alastor up and down and shakes his head.
"You disgust me."
"I've done nothing to deserve this."
Vox is speechless, knowing he has a laundry list of reasons Alastor absolutely deserves this treatment and worse.
Lucifer steps in to try and mediate, asking why Vox feels like Alastor deserves this, trying to get both sides of the story. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Alastor, ever the instigator, nods, laughing.
"No no! Go ahead! Why do I deserve this treatment? What in the world have I done to you to make you hate me so incredibly much, my friend?
Vox starts in on him, counting off everything Alastor has done to hurt him, disrespect him, and disregard him. Everything he can think of is listed. Alastor just smiles and nods, egging him on. Lucifer puts his hand on Alastor's chest, trying to get him to stop, or at least calm down.
Vox sees the motion and his words die in his throat. He shakes his head again and walks to his room, grabbing his backpack and begins to pack his things.
"Vox, you don't have to do this. If you guys just take a deep breath and sit down, we can talk this-"
Lucifer is cut off by a glare from Vox and what sounds like a growl from Alastor behind him.
"Have fun with Mr. Student Body President, Alastor." Vox turns back to Lucifer and eyes him up and down. "Enjoy the spotlight while you have it, because when the dial turns to a new channel, no one will be around for you."
Lucifer is left absolutely speechless while Alastor is shaking with rage as the door slams behind him.
Please I beg someone talk to me about college au radioapple i am a radio broadcasting major and i have so many IDEAS and i just want to chat
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lemongogo · 12 days ago
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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kingdomoftyto · 1 year ago
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Oh yeah ANOTHER thing?
It's now canon that Vlad (and by extension probably Danny too) can survive THE VACUUM OF SPACE with no food, water, or air for at least several months if not over a year??
Like yeah we saw him out by Saturn at the end of Phantom Planet but I think a lot of us figured he'd probably die out there (including the characters in the story apparently LOL brutal). But here we have confirmation that (half-)ghosts can pretty much keep going indefinitely on stubbornness alone. Like holy shit, dude. I don't know whether that's awesome or super dark.
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sallytwo · 1 year ago
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the wesley academy timeline is so inconsistent and makes no sense AT ALL and i know this is star trek where everything is inconsistent all the time (ESPECIALLY for dear wessie) but it makes me so mad. personally.
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steviescrystals · 6 months ago
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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bonestrouslingbones · 3 months ago
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btw what they dont tell you about socializing more & putting yourself out there more often is that after 3 days of doing so you will find yourself alone in your room in a perfect recreation of the family guy death pose
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the-halfling-prince · 1 year ago
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Designed a dress I want to make heavily inspired by Merida from brave and then I decided to draw it on Merida.
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The original sketch:
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#I've been big on costume design ever since sophomore year when I was on our play's costume team and I like to think I'm good at it#In 11th grade I got a superior at districts competition for costume design so#Unfortunately I didn't get to do it again in 12th grade#I think my into the woods antebellum Red riding Hood and my regency Rapunzel would have gotten high scores but whatevs#Oh yeah! I also gave her archery gloves. I wish I had archery gloves it would save my hands so much pain#I have money I should get some#This had got to be one of my only dress designs without a million pounds of tulle#I like tulle heavy dresses lol#Like my Cinderella from into the woods design. Or my Juliet and Clara dresses (I admit I do name the dresses I design with people names#I know a lot of people do that and I think it's better than saying 'oh that one pink dress' like babes which one#I still need to properly draw my tinkerbell dior dress design#Basically the skirt is just like that one door dress. The one that looks like it's got flower petals. But it's green#And also very tulle heavy#For this dress I was trying to figure out a way to incorporate tartan in the design and as I was looking online for teal velvet fabric I#remembered how hard it is to find that exact shade of fabric (my dad made me a merida dress when I was little and it took forever for him t#find the exact shade) and then I realized I could just use blue and green tartan (which is way easier to find they've got plenty at Joann's#And I'm pretty sure my dad already has some I could use) instead!#I want to get a few simpler sewing projects under my belt before I attempt this#But my mum suggested I make a matching dress for my dolls and like. Literally amazing idea.#I've got a tunic I need to make for a convention so that's how I'm gonna start. Like the most I've done on a sewing machine is hem so yeah#we're starting small#I design dresses all the time so I really need to learn to sew so I can make them#And this is my motivation I NEED this dress#Anyway#my posts#my art#pixar brave#I once said my favorite Disney princess was Merida and my friend said 'yeah that's what I figured' like??? Is it obvious?#anyway moving on
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stayatsam · 2 years ago
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thinking about my first semester of college in the only art class i took with a professor who would go out of her way to misgender me while calling me Samuel in the same breath i swear she used she/her pronouns for me as often as POSSIBLE in a sentence compared to other students
she'd make me cry like every time i went to that class and threatened to fail me for leaving 10 min early TWICE in the entire 12 week class
in the same hour i would go from one of the most amazing queer studies class ive ever had to transphobia professor for the next 3 hrs
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itsva1 · 9 months ago
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Husbands
Husbands that look like they're being interrogated because it's almost 4 am and I spent my entire day painting walls
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septemberpdf · 7 months ago
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my stomach hurts
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creatediana · 1 year ago
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"Dark Chocolate" - a free verse quatrain written 1/13/2014
I appear to be sweet People can love me But that doesn’t make me any less Bitter
I'm sharing this not because it's good, but actually because I think it's... worse than amateurish. Embarrassing. I define the word "bittersweet" as a fourteen-year-old high school freshman and I think I've really done something. I don’t flatter myself as something of a great poet now, but even at my most self-critical I know I’m better than this.
All poets must start somewhere. I have people tell me a lot "oh, I just can't write" like writing is some kind of innate personality trait. It isn't. It's a skill you develop, and when you begin you're no more ready to write a good poem than a newborn baby is to ride a bicycle. You work up to it. And if you've got anything more than what I had going on in my head in sixth period before the bell rang in January of 2014, you're already at a better start than I was.
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toastingpencils37 · 11 months ago
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Bro, the heaters at my school are fucked up.
Yesterday, apparently at the beginning of the day in one of the buildings, the AC on one side was 60 degrees, whereas the other side was at 80 degrees. (I don't have classes in that building during that part of the day)
So they turned off the AC on the hot side. But then around the time 5th period started (my class period in that building), the AC on the other side went up to 80 degrees, so my teacher had to turn it off. And the principle even came to talk to my teacher about it briefly during class.
The AC in that class was apparently still at 80 degrees some point today as well.
And then in my brother's math class yesterday, the AC was really cold. But then today it was really warm.
So yeah. AC's fucked up.
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