#and i kinda reject what would be an easy narrative to tell which is that i needed to lose him to gain what i have now

[mossbabie]

🪗

[eattherichplease]

The Addams Nunnery Theory

So, I'm no expert on Shakespeare or even the English language, which is unfortunate, because I'm going to make a half-hearted –but very brave!– attempt of deciphering the parallels and references to Hamlet in Wednesday (2022) that, I believe, are intentional, and can give us hints of what's to come in season 2.

(A warning: I'm smarter in Spanish. This reads like broken English because it is)

Anyway here's the facts: there are scattered references to Hamlet, or at the very least Ophelia, on the show. I have other things to do with my life so let's focus on episode 1 for now. The references are not subtle.

First of all, principal Weems sends Wednesday to Ophelia Hall, where both she and Morticia used to live.

Ophelia from Hamlet? Kinda!

Does Ophelia kills herself? Maybe! Most likely! Let's say yes. Most experts say yes, it makes narrative sense, and Wednesday seems pretty sure about it.

But is Ophelia driven mad by her family? Well it's been a while since I read Hamlet... but I won't say that's the main reason. Ophelia goes mad because she's in love with Hamlet, who a) doesn't love her back (maybe?), b) treats her like shit (as a bit?), c) rejects her brutally, d) kills her father (a dick move tbh).

So Larissa Weems sends Wednesday to "Unrequited Love that Drives You Crazy" Hall, where she and Morticia used to live together... Subtle, Larissa. Real smooth, girl.

Anyway let's keep going.

Enid gives Wednesday the tour, which includes the fountain in the quad with the carved image of Ophelia drowning inside! like this:

Right there sitting with Ophelia we have our main girl Bianca Barclay, who is introduced to the viewer alongside the Ophelia statue/carving thing, and:

Is this then our Ophelia, hopelessly in love with the tortured prince of Denmark, destined to (ironically) drown? (ironic because she is a siren you know). Well, that would make Xavier our Hamlet. He's a rich heir and tortured by visions... So maybe? That's an option! But I think that's the superficial reading. Bianca doesn't go mad, after all, doesn't commit suicide. She moves on. Xavier doesn't go mad either, he doesn't kill anyone, not even himself. I believe they are just a red herring, a misdirection. Or maybe an early prototype, an aperitif, a model of what's to come. It's a one-act play that happens before the real play starts, to warm the audience. Fascinating, right?

After showing us the drama, the focus goes back –and remains– on Wednesday and Enid. And here's when Wednesday and Enid start showing their famous dynamic of vitriol & sugar, sarcasm & heart. Wednesday plays the insufferable Hamlet, endlessly monologuing inside her head, playing with the macabre for funsies and making comments about anything and everyone from her high horse without any regard for the feelings of the people around her:

While Enid usually takes a deep breath and counts to ten inside her head:

As she herself will say later, she's trying hard to be Wednesday's friend.... and Wednesday is not going to make it easy for her.

So the stage is set. Turn for the dramatis personae. Who is who in this drama? As you have possibly guessed, I posit that Wednesday is Hamlet. She is a rich heir, she is the most intellectual of all characters, she believes she's surrounded by idiots, she pretends to be "normal" or "mad" as she sees fit (and sometimes she seems to be truly unhinged), she has a dark sense of humor (alas, Yorrik), she thinks herself victim of a great conspiracy, she tries to unravel a murder mystery, she hates her mother, etc, etc, etc. She is also the "meta" character. She is writing a murder mystery inside a murder mystery.

And like Hamlet, Wednesday is visited by the ghost of her father (in this case her ancestor Goody), that tells her he's been murdered (colonized, genocided, burned alive). That's the start of the plot.

So Wednesday is Hamlet.

Who is Ophelia? Who is going to slowly go crazy of unrequited love for Wednesday? We have three candidates:

Tyler the psycho boy. He's not really in love with Wednesday (not really, his words) and he's not suicidal (quite the opposite)... True, his father do forbids him from courting Wednesday, which mirrors the scene where Polonius does the same with Ophelia (although for different reasons). But Tyler is not a victim, he's a real monster, a criminal. He doesn't even show remorse. And even if he's mad, he doesn't go mad because of Wednesday rejection... He was a bully and a crazy axe-murderer way before that. He's no Ophelia. Also, his father is not killed by Wednesday (he's police, which means he can't be killed by our beloved protagonist, because this is an American show! yikes!)

Xavier. A nice Ophelia indeed! He is obsessed with Wednesday to the point of being pathetic. He draws creepy, realistic paintings of her in his personal studio to admire. And he's brutally rejected by her. He's even thrown in jail by "Hamlet"! In the play, Hamlet threatens Ophelia with sending her to "the nunnery", or contemptuously sends her to "the nunnery" (as a joke??), to make clear he doesn't want anything with her. Wednesday seems to be doing the same here, sanding Xavier to horny jail (literally). So do we have a winner? Maybe! Xavier doesn't go mad with sadness after being rejected... well not yet at least. Also Wednesday hasn't killed his father... yet. She will probably in season 2... Vincent Thorpe is most probably the stalker.

But wait, we still have one contender in the match for the role of Ophelia! Our girl Enid!! My girl! I love her dearly. Is she in love with Wednesday? I'll say yes, but it's open to interpretation. It's Wednesday in love with her? Same answer. Things are complex in this world of compulsory heterosexuality where showing shappics loving each other in a screen can make Esther Sinclair (Netflix) send you to conversion camp (show cancelled). So everything depends of season 2! Is she in love with Hamlet!Wednesday? Will she be driven mad by Wednesday's attitude and constant rejection of her advances? I kinda doubt it. Wednesday seems to be warming up (the hug, you know). But maybe Enid wants more, Wednesday says no, etc? Enid could be Ophelia. Don't want her to be though. That would be a home of phobia.

Anyway the Nunnery Theory.

In the play, Hamlet says to Ophelia:

"I say, we will have no more marriages (...) To a nunnery, go."

Which basically means: "Girl, I don't want nothing with you, I don't even want marriages in the kingdom: that's how much I don't want to marry you. Go to a convent and get yourself interned. Also fuck you".

So Ophelia goes mad. Also Hamlet kills her father. And she commits suicide.

And so, three possibilities for season 2:

Wednesday rejects Tyler (done). He goes mad (he already was). Wednesday kills officer Galpin (why?). Tyler commits suicide (because he suddenly develops a conscience, because showrunners are lazy) or goes to jail forever ("nunnery").

Wednesday rejects Xavier (done). He goes mad (kinda?). Wednesday kills Vincent Thorpe (probably for unrelated reasons). Xavier commits suicide (because he is a drama king) or goes crazy and is interned in a mental asylum ("nunnery").

Wednesday rejects Enid (because he is a mess with emotions). Enid goes mad (lots of anger inside that girl, we love her for that). Wednesday kills Esther Sinclair (deserved, I'll give her a standing ovation to be honest). Enid commits suicide (I'll put a b**** in the Netflix headquarters) or is interned in werewolf jail (the home of phobia).

All of this IF and only IF Xavier is still a character in the show (maybe he'll be recasted), since Percy Hynes White seems to have been fired for being a creep and kind of a criminal (presumptive). So maybe he's not even there. Or maybe he commits suicide in episode 1 and that's the murder mystery of the season. (That's what I'll do but I don't work for Netflix).

Also Bianca could be Ophelia and she's still in love with Xavier and drowns which is the dumbest thing ever. Not even an option.

So who will be sent to the nunnery???? I sure don't know.

I'm tired bye!!! If you read all of this I love you!!!

[moodr1ng]

watching squid game s2

admittedly like. we all knew he was gonna go back into the game cause thats the formula and that the game would proceed cause. thats the formula. but it feels a little weak that during the introductory scene where players are being told about the game and offered not to participate etc he doesnt like. speak up and ask "what happens to players who lose a game?" or something like that. it seems like itd be very easy to get them to either try to obscure the rules which would mess w the whole "people play of their own free will" excuse and also itd be very easy to then rile up the crowd into a panic, or have them admit that players who lose get killed, in which case it seems like everyone would refuse to play immediately and probably would not return to the game as shown in s1 bc they havent already gone thru the first game and endured people getting mass murdered around them. admittedly that wouldnt stop the games, itd just fuck up this one, but also that already seems very disruptive (forcing them to at least postpone the game until finding a whole new batch of players, not to mention all the rejected players whod be going around telling people about this), and also like.. you kinda feel like the hero sort of has a moral imperative to not allow the villains to murder dozens or hundreds of people in the first game by tricking them? idk maybe itll make more sense as i watch but as is it kind feels like this couldve been avoided w a fairly simple bit of exposition, like the frontman telling him that hes not allowed to dissuade others from signing up and putting some threat or other behind that

also i mean im always pro having a trans character in a show but knowing most characters die im already stressed for her 😭

edit: ohh ig the point is that hes counting on his operation to succeed while he believes the trackers on him? idk i guess narratively that makes sense but it just doesnt feel like this guy should trust anything to go smoothly THAT much. just seems like he wouldve been trying to avoid anyone playing just in case. esp bc (though this may be a bit deeper into thinking about it than a character in the situation might be expected to go) by the time the first game is over and you get to do that vote to dip out, youve already selected for players who are more likely willing to keep playing. the people who were the most panicked and who would be least likely to be able to think of anything but survival are probably the people who tried to run away during the first game and died. the players remaining after the first game are already people with the kinda nerves to stand still and manage to win that game and that doesnt seem like the best voting pool

[capraqua]

call me crazy but I did write out my confession (and subsequent rejection) as a narrative for a friend, enjoy

He was taking his distance as we took slow but sure steps up the narrow spiral staircase. I was drunk, of course, as if that wasn't obvious. If it weren't for the three bottles of soju running through my veins, nerves would probably be the reason I was on edge.

When we got to the landing, I tried to steady myself on the wall beside my door, leaning back against it. I might have put my face on the cool concrete at some point, I don't recall, but I remember the plush fabric of his jacket rolled up as I held his arm to, you guessed it, steady myself. What a reason, right? I'm just trying to be a mastermind. Mama Taylor didn't prepare me for this moment for nothing.

Drunken giggles bubbled from my chest as I said, "I can't feel my face," which earned an intoxicated chuckle from him as well. Trying to prolong the moment when we have some sort of bodily contact, I asked about our group's travel plans tomorrow. He answered, to the best of his ability but I knew after that, it was the moment.

My hand slid down to his hand, noticing that his palm was soft, so warm and comforting. Like how I felt around him all this time. Of course, there were a lot of moments I was overthinking but my attraction to him never manifested as butterflies in my stomach. It was the feeling of security, warmth, comfort. Like there was always someone you could talk to and it was him, that he looks out for you, like life would be easy with him.

As I held his hand, I looked up and tried to maintain eye contact.

"I have to tell you something," I started, breathing out the words as he looked at me with rapt attention. "I'm not expecting anything from you but," another pause as I breathed in deeply.

"I like you." A beat. Maybe two. His drunk brain was probably processing and I don't know what kind of outcome he stumbled on to but his only answer was… "Okay, go to sleep."

OF COURSE, I WAS DUMBFOUNDED. There I was a girl, standing in front of a boy, being all vulnerable and shit and his reply was only four words. Of course, I had recon with the girlies after, even if we were all a little bit tipsy and drunk, even if I had to carry one of us to the bathroom to hurl her guts out but inevitably, we came to the conclusion that I already showed him my cards. It was his play now.

And his play was to stay friends. There was a smidge of awkwardness the day after. It didn't help that we were stuck next to each other on the bus ride back to the city the next day with my seatmate trying his hardest not to touch any part of my body as if that was possible. The subtle pulling away kinda stings but what can I do about that?

When we got home, I sent him a message which he replied to which is a fitting end to this fiasco of a story, recount, reminiscing, whatever. I told him that the encounter must have given him more questions than answers and that I would always still be friends with him along with the caveat that he should know that he deserves affection too, that whatever happened to him in the past shouldn't dictate what his love life should look like moving forward.

His reply was straightforward. He was worried it would be too harsh but I don't like beating around the bush either. I like things clear and precise so when he told me he prefers to be friends, that he still has trauma from everything that happened to him, and that his love life is not a priority at the moment, I understood immediately. Better than dealing with it, nipping it in the bud before it could hurt the both of us deeply.

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

I am really into giving Clark protective caretaker instincts, which plays off well with Bruce’s horrible self care skills and overall vibe.

Batman may be the world’s greatest detective, but that man would burn soup.

He’s normally fed by Alfred, who can cook well, but it’s all really fancy.

Alfred is also British, so Batman probably has spice tolerance where too much garlic is spicy.

Batman also has skills resisting torture and whatnot, so he’s capable of eating spicy foods, but he doesn’t like it. No one but his close family realizes how delicate his spice tolerance is.

That being said, most of his children have a good spice tolerance. Damian enjoys food with lots of spice, like to the extent that it’s painful afterwards.

Cass could eat anything. She’s the only member of the family that can withstand the spiciest food. She probably likes foods that are really rich and filling.

Tim’s spice tolerance is similar to Bruce, and his family mocks him for it.

Jason and Steph enjoy more american spicy dishes- so they’re drenching things in buffalo sauce and jalapeño cheddar.

Superman probably learned to cook from his mom, so he probably makes some good foods. They’re also either like, salads, or deep fried gravy burgers- there’s no in between on healthy.

Superman lives on more of a budget than Batman, so he cooks at home, makes larger meals and eats leftovers regularly, and purchases cheap and easy to cook things like ramen on days when work is busy

He will move super speed to his mom’s garden to pick up fresh basil once a week, fresh herbs are just better like that.

His mom probably gets worried if her son doesn’t stop by to pick up vegetables. This logically means he hasn’t been eating correctly, and results in long lectures. It’s easiest if Clark just picks up food every so often. Yes, Superman can be bossed around by his mom, much like Batman can be bossed around by Alfred.

Superman will feed the entire Justice league omelettes, casseroles, lasagna, and pasta dishes when he has time. Flash kinda exploits this.

Batman goes through an arc of being wary around Superman’s food, to reluctantly eating it, to having personal lunch boxes made and delivered by Superman.

Alfred and Superman have a bit of a passive aggressive caretaker battle- both trying to give Bruce the best food possible. Alfred wins, since he knows exactly what nostalgic buttons to press. Clark ends up taking lessons from Alfred, learning exactly how to cook all of Bruce’s favorite foods.

It means that Superman has the ultimate power: bullying Batman into self care.

That being said, Bruce has the advantage when it comes to gift giving. It’s his love language, and it takes Clark a little while to accept that Bruce will replace all the shirts in his house without telling him, or upgrade his bedsheets, or pay off his rent.

Damian gives him a dog after Superman offhand mentions wanting one. His apartment’s no pets protocol mysteriously changed overnight.

Superman also ends up adopting all of Bruce’s feral vigilante children, which is both a good thing and a bad thing.

Good, since Clark absolutely loves these kids. They’re all adorable and smart. He loves spending time with them.

Bad, since they’re all just as chaotic as Batman. Dick will try to help Clark at work by giving him interesting stories- essentially stirring up gossip and drama in front of Clark. As a reporter, Clark ends up with dozens of Wayne drama stories. Dick controls the narrative with masterful precision: he’s a romantic who’s jumping between three to four people at once, though some of those relationships might just be platonic. He’s a sweetheart who doesn’t dare reject anyone, he’s impulsive, but he’s got a strong heart that can’t be corrupted.

Cass and Barbara also try to help with Clark’s job, they just tell him secrets about every person who Clark has to write about. Barbara will send him files describing people’s dirty secrets in extensive detail, with proof added. She also does this for fun- telling him random secrets he doesn’t need to know, like how the barista at the coffee shop he went to is being cheated on by his boyfriend. What is Clark supposed to do with that information?? She just made every social interaction with that person way more awkward.

Cass prefers to just dump mind blowing secrets on him at random times, but with no proof added at all. When she’s mad at him, or feeling mischievous, she’ll do this to ordinary people. Clark does not need to know about his co-workers crush on Lex Luthor, but now he knows and it’s terrible.

Jason will casually borrow Clark’s things with no notice. He also offered to do crimes for Clark once, which was especially bad since Clark was at work.

Steph likes to take Clark shopping with Dick, using Bruce’s credit cards of course. She insists on purchasing him obnoxious clothing. Dick and Clark have matching polkadot suits. She often buys him rather scandalous things to mess with Bruce- lacy underwear, sexy versions of Superman’s costume, that kind of thing.

Tim is as bad as Bruce when it comes to self care, maybe even worse, and Clark doesn’t have the power to make him stop.

Damian keeps trying to fight Clark. He has a villain outfit, and shows up on the streets of metropolis just to try and stab Superman. No villains dare intervene, since Damian will attack anyone who interrupts his sparring time.

They’re a family now, and for better or worse, Clark had to live with that.

I need to find my people 0_0

This is my new obsession 🥰

SUPERBAT FANS WHERE ARE YOU?!

[penrose-quinn]

First Gen Black Dragons Music HCs (+Draken, Mikey, and Baji)

a/n: just did this for fun, but then i got carried away. i have to dump this wall of text somewhere haha. @phen0l hope you don't mind me tagging you!

Takeomi feels like the sort of person to listen to old punk/rock ballads when he was a teenager, but the kind of rock ballads your-dad-listens-to kinda vibes, like Aerosmith and The Street Beats. I'm making him into such an old man (but he is lmao).

Benkei gives me such a strong vibe that he listens to a lot of good and funky 90s-2000s Japanese hip-hop and old school rap. He's the sort of person that also knows some underground artists that aren't as popular as Buddha Brand and Scha Dara Parr. He probably works out with loud music too.

Wakasa is actually hard to tell :T He feels like a picky listener, like it's easy for him to drop a song when there's something about the mood that doesn't hit right for him. If Benkei is the type to listen to all the songs of an album, Waka's the type to pick one or two songs he might like and skip the rest. Idk why I get the feeling that he has similar preferences with Benkei for some reason (but I suppose I see this more narrative-wise, like two polar opposites having one shared interest kind of thing). If there's an artist that comes to my mind, it’s ECD. I don't think he likes Scha Dara Parr, which upsets Benkei. Maybe they make up over Microphone Pager or sumn.

When it comes to Shinichiro, he feels like the sort of person that goes with anything his friends listen/recommend to him or what's playing on the radio that day while he works, but he has never had an organized playlist. Ever. If you ask him for a recommendation, he'll always reference someone else who can give a better recommendation than him. If he goes out to karaoke, he will choose some relatable song about heartbreak or pining. Yes, he's that sappy friend in karaoke night. It's amusing for awhile until one of his friends have to probably pull him away from the mic at some point because he's not letting up and it's getting annoying.

Bonus 1: Shinichiro attempting to sing an offbeat version of Miki Matsubara's Stay With Me from a rejection. Everyone's tired, but they let him have his moment. He gets sore throat for trying (and failing) to hit those high notes. Shin, please stop hurting yourself lol.

Bonus 2: I know Draken isn't supposed to be here, but he gives me a feeling that he's a fan of Nujabes. That's it, that's all.

Bonus 3: Mikey grew up on Asian Kung-Fu Generation. But he can just recall some tunes of the band's songs because Shinichiro used to like listening to them.

Bonus 4: Sex Machineguns feels like the kind of J-metal band Baji would listen to so he could get pumped up over something.

Did I mistake Kayo Suspense Gekijyou from his character info for the song from Sex Machineguns than the actual TV show like a dumbass? Yes.

[baphomets-hairy-bonkhonagahoogs]

Okay instead of Portal 2’s humor I’m going to talk about Wheatley next instead. Because I have more fully formed thoughts about this than I do the large, nebulous, and intimidating topic that is “Portal 2’s comedy”.

So, Wheatley. An incredible voice performance, a likeable enough character who (to me at least) has a pretty logical progression from Friend to Foe. But, the more I think about him the more he irks me. Not just from a “I don’t care for him as a person/character” perspective, but from a meta writing perspective as well.

It is a major part of the story that Wheatley was literaly designed to be a moron. To be stupid. To fill GLaDOS’ head with time wasting thoughts and ideas. He is described as a tumor. However, Wheatley isn’t really that stupid at all.

Wheatley is often unobservant, takes a long time to think, and accidentally bumbles into trouble, sure. When GLaDOS calls him out by pointing out that Chell did all the work to install Wheatley into the big powerful position over Aperture, I largely agree with her. But while Chell did do all the heavy lifting and many times came up with better solutions to achieving their shared goals, Wheatley did do a good amount of guiding and planning. He made it a goal to take out GLaDOS’ turrets and neurotoxin and then he executed that plan with Chell’s help. Chell very likely would have come to the same idea herself of course but it was Wheatley who ended up proposing it. Wheatley also helped to direct Chell around Aperture. Again, Chell would have been able to find her way around by herself but Wheatley did bring that knowledge set to the table. I believe that it would have been extraordinarily more difficult for Chell if Wheatley wasn’t around to help out in the first half of the game.

He isn’t uselessly stupid. In fact he proves himself to be resourceful and clever sometimes as well! He plants the explosive trap at the stalemate button because he saw it bite GLaDOS in the ass, he got rid of (almost) everything that could have hosted a portal on it, he gave himself multiple blast sheilds because that also bit GLaDOS in the ass.

Wheatley doesn’t feel stupid to me. Often his downfall is his insecurities or luck being against him (such as the moon becoming visible for Chell to shoot at) rather than being too stupid. Which brings me to my main point. Wheatley isn’t a stupidity core but rather an ADHD core that comes free with the insecurities that often follow ADHD people around.

I myself have ADHD, and ADHD is different for everyone. I want to make that clear. I can only speak from my own perspective on the matter. But, I find myself often relating to Wheatley.

We both have hyperactive minds that spew out thoughts before we can process if they make much sense or not. We both get easily distracted and ramble in a train of consciousness style. For an example of this look towards Wheatley telling Chell about the robot myths and stories about Aperture and its history while they both navigate behind the scenes in the first half of the story. We both think up obtuse, unconventional (yet creative) solutions to problems that are at times unnecessarily and often inefficient. For an example, see Wheatley’s frankenturrets or all the ways he tries to chase the high of the euphoria of testing. I often feel stupid or like “a moron” myself when I’m forced to work within a structure built for neurotypicals and inevitably fall behind. Remember earlier when I said that Wheatley is more often defeated by his insecurities than his supposed lack of intelligence? Well that insecurity stems from his own frustration at himself or ridicule from others when he can’t succeed at what is expected of him by himself or others (GLaDOS mainly). This is painfully relatable. His rejection sensitivity is delt with my lashing out and trying to maintain a level of control over the facility (not a very healthy way to deal with it, but it’s definitely more interesting for the story’s sake). When his intelligence is insulted he takes it very hard, I’d guess seeing it as a form of rejection, and overcompensates with classical music and “reading” Machiavelli. I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting as I write this, but I hope I’ve got my point across.

Wheatley isn’t stupid, he just has ADHD symptoms. And often times people with ADHD are read as stupid, and ADHD traits are assigned to characters who are supposed to be stupid. I’d hope that it is obvious why this is problematic. And the issue isn’t exclusive to Portal 2 by any means. For example, Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec probably just has ADHD with a big does of impulsivity.

Does all this make me hate Wheatley as a character? No actually. This is a systemic problem that I feel as though many creatives don’t even realize what they’re doing as they do it. I believe it’s ignorance in good faith over malice in bad faith. Is it okay if this makes you hate the way Wheatley is written and ruins him for you? Of course! It’s a personal thing. I simply wanted to share because if I can help other people notice it then hopefully it should stop happening.

While I don’t believe it’s intentional, I think it ends up saying a lot about how an ADHD person ends up getting treated in an environment literally not made for them. And power corrupts, of course, so I have a hard time seeing it as a “neurodivergent people are evil or bad people” narrative. Anyone who is given so much power is gonna turn fuckin’ evil, see GLaDOS or the disgustingly capitalist Cave Johnson (Though he was pretty evil from the get go. I’ll talk about Cave more when I talk about Portal 2’s comedy). Wheatley’s only flaws aren’t his symptoms either. He’s just kinda sexist as well, this shines through in little ways like his assumption that the human who beat GLaDOS was a man. Wheatley is complicated.

In conclusion, I hope that made even a lick of sense. I’ll admit that it was difficult trying to articulate all my thoughts of this in a easy to read way, so I hope I did a good job!

[recurring-polynya]

What’s your opinion on pre-canon Renruki?

I think that they already had a romantic or almost romantic relationship back in the Academy, maybe even back in Rukongai, and the reason it wasn’t explicit is because firstly it would have spoiled the endgame couples, and secondly it’s a shonen, so it’s implied.

I think they fooled around when they were orphans in Inuzuri. They grew up together, they were always together in their “teenage” years (however adolescence works for souls😅), I think it’s not impossible that they had their first experience, if just their first kiss and make out session, with each other. When they joined the Academy, they spent less time together due to their different courses, and I think Rukia’s sad expression when Renji leaves for the mission in the real world depicts that (along with worry for him, and maybe even jealousy for his achievements compared to hers). By then I think they were quite intimate, they fooled around sometimes (with the little time they had) and knew the other’s and their own feelings, but never said anything like “I love you”, or talked seriously about the depth of their relationship. If they were “just friends”, as some antis like to claim, they wouldn’t have been so heartbroken, have so many regrets and felt so guilty during their separation. And why that separation in the first place? It’s not a matter of class difference, because Rukia did talk to people of inferior status, like her Squad mates. What’s actually forbidden to people from different classes is relationships. If Renruki was just a friendship, there would have been no problem, but their bond was beyond that. Rukia wanted Renji to tell her to stay with him, but his feelings of inferiority and belief that Rukia deserved better (maybe even better than him) prevented him to do it. Their separation doesn’t feel like an end to a friendship to me, it feels like a breakup. They avoided each other because it hurt so much, and they couldn’t bear to have any relationship other than a romantic one, which was impossible once she became a Kuchiki.

After the Soul Society arc, they got back together. They were physically too comfortable around each other to be just friends, like when he basically hugged her to encourage her to go back to Soul Society when Orihime is kidnapped (and maybe he was also comforting her), or when, during the fight with the Fullbringers, he casually placed her head resting on his thigh. By then they were secretly dating, in my opinion. In the last arc they were always together, it’s so easy imagining them as a couple.

What do you think? Is my interpretation far fetched? I’d like to hear your theories about their feelings, when they blossomed, when they confessed, if they had something going on during their Academy years…

Thank you if you decide to answer!🤍

Well, as you say, Bleach is a shounen, and also I don’t think Kubo was particularly interested in including romance in the story, so I don’t think there is a correct or incorrect interpretation. It’s left to the reader to imagine what they like. I don’t think “spoiling the endgame” has anything to do with anything.

I don’t think your interpretation is “too far-fetched,” although I don’t happen to agree with it. There’s very little to go on in canon, people can fill in the gaps in whatever way makes them happy/makes sense to them. I have exactly 0 interest in arguing with people on the internet about stuff like this. I enjoy reading fanfiction that has wildly different interpretations from my own, I generally love to hear a variety of ideas, although I generally prefer the format of a narrative over Tumblr posts (funny, since I do seem to write a lot of them).

Anyway, here are a bunch of opinions. This is way, way too long, so I'm gonna throw it under a cut.

That being said, you have some really amatonormative ideas in there that I do take issue with. Friendships absolutely can be as deep and important as romantic relationships. I categorically reject the idea that a romantic bond is stronger than a friendship one or that acts of physical affection necessarily imply a romantic relationship. I actually have no beef at all with people who want to read Rukia and Renji’s story as a very strong friendship. I do think it was still reasonable for Renji to avoid her during their separation, even if his goal wasn’t romance. He wanted to see her live a better life, and didn’t want to drag her down. Yeah, sure, if he just wanted to be a casual workplace friend, he probably could have joined Squad 13 and seen her once in a while. But, especially in the early days, it would have been a bad look for Rukia to continue socializing with people deeply below her station, and I feel in my heart that Byakuya would have forbidden her from seeing Renji if he found out she was hanging out with someone from her Inuzuri days, even if it was just casual. Yeah, there exist people who say Rukia and Renji are "just friends" for the sake of other preferred ships, but also, like, so what? Who cares? That’s a lot better than making Renji out to be a bad person or trashing his character. To be honest, I am generally happy to read a fanfic that had some other Renji or Rukia pairing if it actually contained some solid Renruki best friend content (I have found a few 369 fics that do this, and maybe also in the little bit of RenIchi content I have read, so, uh, good job, my gays. This is sometimes touched on in ByaRen fics, but usually not as much as I want, althought I also tend to hold these to a high bar, because if I have to deal with Byakuya in my fanfics, they should have to deal with the Rukia-Renji friendship 😂)

Anyway, you asked for my interpretation, so here it is . These are all just, like, my opinions, man:

Life in Inuzuri just really, really, really sucks, and Rukia and Renji both have a lot of trauma and emotional hang-ups from that time. I think they forged a deep emotional connection during this time that was probably a little too codependent to actually be healthy. They had no models of healthy families or relationships. I also think they were incredibly close to Fujimaru, Kosaburou, and Mameji, and that even if they wanted to have a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t have, at the risk of ruining the more important bonds of the larger group.

In my fanfic, in their last days in Inuzuri, I do have them fool around for a brief period. It coincides with the deterioration of the bond with their last surviving friend, leading to his death. I did this for trauma reasons, because that’s how writers are.

“Communication” is probably the most important theme in my writing, and a thing I bring up all the time is that young Rukia and Renji had a thousand ways of communicating survival-based things between each other, and 0 ways of communicating how they felt about each other.

I did a post on this recently, but their whole gang was incredibly powerless in Inuzuri. They lived on the fringes of society and stole scraps to survive. I think that their number one duty to one another was to survive. In the anime, Rukia swears that she will never leave Inuzuri, that she will always stay with her friends. I think the reason she does an about-face is not just because their friends are gone, but because she realizes that she will lose Renji next, and the only way to prevent that is for both of them to get stronger. Neither of them actually wants to become a soul reaper. They do it for each other.

I think that Renji would have remained in Inuzuri and tried to make a life as best they could, but Rukia knew this was futile, and where Rukia goes, Renji follows.

I think they purposely maintained distance at the Academy. Just as in Inuzuri, their primary duty to one another is to survive and thrive. They were rejected and mocked for their low origins, and hanging out together would have made this worse. I think it hurt Rukia that Renji made new friends, but on the other hand, they were exactly the sort of people who would help him get a leg up in the Gotei. Rukia’s Academy days were very painful because she saw Renji succeeding, just as she wanted, but leaving her behind in the process. Conversely, Renji got super focused on doing well, with the idea that he could pull Rukia up behind him, except for the part where he never actually told her that.

I feel like I’m in the minority here, but so much fanfic focuses on Rukia and/or Renji being “wrong” in the scene where he tells her to go to the Kuchiki, but I disagree! Everything they have done is in order to get to a better life! It is Renji’s duty to encourage her to leave him behind. He doesn’t want to be an anchor holding her down. Likewise, Rukia knows that if she doesn’t go, she’s just gonna be a burden on him. Their relationship has always been about each of them surviving separately over having happiness together. Up to now, they’ve always managed to find each other again, although this kinda looks like it might be it for them. Do these kids need to go to therapy? Yes! Did they do anything wrong? No!

I think about this a lot, but even if Rukia had turned down the adoption (which… I’m not actually sure she could have), even the offer would have ruined their relationship. Imagine that Renji asks her to stay, and she does. Maybe they even get together at this point. Every rough patch, every time there’s money troubles, this spectre of “Rukia could have been a Kuchiki” is going to hang over them. In fiction, there is often an idea of sacrifice being a one-time romantic gesture, but in my real life experience, this sort of thing hangs around like an unwanted ghost. I can, in fact, envision a scenario where this is exactly how Aizen manages to get his hooks in Renji, by offering Rukia an unseated spot in Squad 5, even though she “isn’t really good enough to deserve it” and “taking care of them.”

I am really fascinated with Rukia’s crush on Kaien/Miyako. Bold proclamation here, but I think there is something developmentally healthy about young people having crushes on the older people in their lives, provided that said older people treat them with respect and dignity and don’t take advantage of it in any way. Crushes are, by their nature of being unreciprocated, a safe way for young folks to imagine the sort of people and relationships they want to have in their lives. I headcanon Rukia as bisexual, and maybe also a little bit genderfluid, and she had these two extremely cool people in her life, whom she maybe wanted to be and maybe wanted to kiss and maybe to have a marriage like that some day. I… like to think that their role in her life healed some of her trauma before their death caused even more.

Fully into headcanons now, but I like to think that Renji had a parallel experience, with, of all people, Ikkaku and Yumichika. Like him, they came from the ass-end of Rukongai, but they stuck together instead of bowing to the social mores of the Seireitei. It is critical to note that they were able to do this through strength. This is literally not a thing that Renji and Rukia could have done, but at the same time, Renji sees this as the kind of relationship he wants to have with a partner. He doesn’t want to look after Rukia and protect her, he wants to fight back-to-back with her and then make out afterwards. He’s still convinced that he needs to go through the proper class channels to see Rukia again, but without their influence, I don’t think he ever would have been able to say “fuck it” and turn on his captain during the Soul Society Arc.

Meeting Ichigo and dealing with his unreasonable need to protect everyone he cares about, personally, was also a huge blow to Rukia and Renji’s “I cannot allow the other person to take any risks for my sake” hang-up. Ichigo has his own traumas, which are entirely different from Renruki’s, but the one thing he had was growing up in a loving family. (Isshin has his problems, but I feel strongly that he always made his kids feel like his love was unconditional). I’m not saying that making friends with a shounen protagonist is a good replacement for therapy, but it does have healing properties.

Entirely off-topic, but I feel like Ichigo is incredibly selfish in the way of Terry Pratchett’s witches: “All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!

Where were we? Oh, yeah. I honestly think that it is unknowable when in canon Rukia and Renji confessed. I already covered this pretty thoroughly in this post. I hate the idea that they were secretly dating. Renji worked incredibly hard to get his post and I think that both his job and Byakuya’s respect are very important to him. I do not think he would put either of those things at risk like that, nor would Rukia want him to. I tend to prefer a slow-burn approached, and I honestly think they got together during the 17-mo timeskip at the earliest, and more likely post-canon entirely, although I think them confessing in the Royal Realm is the spiciest possible outcome, so that’s what most of my fanfic cleaves to.

[narashikari]

Lmao responding to this with an equally long ramble

I guess it would be fair for me to admit that by a certain point I didn't care much for Geats (especially by the latter third where I thought the writing had gone downhill) and Ace didn't really impress me in any way in spite of his feats. In fact I kinda consider both overrated. So I'm biased against both the show and Ace as a character in a way.

Though, I don't think Ace was supposed to look like a bastard, even if we saw him from the pov of someone who he does act like a bastard to (ie Keiwa). Otherwise the narrative would not have bothered to show Ace's more altruistic traits, like in ep 1 when he helped out Taira's family just because, or when he didn't hold it against Azuma that he pulled all sorts of bs on him and the other Riders during the JGP.

Anyway, I think what really cinched it for me is that Ace consistently hid things from people he supposedly trusted, even when it somehow involved them.

Case in point: Ace never told Keiwa the whole truth about his mom being coerced into her role as the goddess, that the rule about the DGP victims being used as sacrifices to fulfill wishes was foisted on her. This, of course concerns Keiwa because he was under the impression that Mitsume used her powers with her full knowledge and consent- and among those people sacrificed were his parents.

Ace knows Keiwa blames his mother for his parents' loss. And yet... he's not even the one who tells Keiwa all this. Win was the one who relays the information about Mitsume to Keiwa, which Ace has already known for some time. And at that point Keiwa's grudge towards Mitsume was already deep seated- he barely had a chance to get over it before Sara is murdered, and Kekera and Jiit came a-whispering in Keiwa's ear, using that barely-healed grudge to manipulate him into kidnapping her successor Tsumuri.

You'd think that in over two thousand years of existence, with all the supposed wisdom and strategy that brings, Ace would've figured out that being straightforward with people and just telling the truth when it involves them in some way would save him a whole lot of trouble, or at least spare them from more pain. Especially when they're people he considered allies, or even friends. I don't think Keiwa would be as easy to manipulate into that if Ace had told him, say, when he realized Keiwa had regained his Rider powers (and thus his memories) in the Desire Royale.

And yet. Here we have Houtaro, a teenaged boy, somehow figuring this out within the first half of his show, without even really trying.

By telling her that Fuga had been framed and was not a traitor after all, not only did he spare Rinne from a lot more unnecessary heartache and affirm her belief in her dad... but also helped her resolve the dissonance she had between following "the rules" and doing what she thought was the right thing (all things he knew were bothering her).

And while Houtaro was unaware of it, this latter part also lead Rinne to reject Minato's offer to rejoin the Academy, which would've inevitably lead to Geryon just using and manipulating her and probably make saving the Chemmies way harder. And the last thing, of course, was what finally made her (re)gain the power to transform into a Kamen Rider.

So... yeah.

Unpopular opinion maybe Houtaro is already a better friend than Ace ever was just because he actually TALKS TO HIS FRIENDS and IS THERE FOR THEM and ACTUALLY TELLS THEM WHAT HE KNOWS WHEN IT'S RELEVANT TO THEIR PROBLEMS/FEELINGS

[olivieblake]

MEN.

That's it, that's the ask. You are probably so busy right now, BUT I JUST NEED TO VENT ON WHAT LOSERS MEN ARE. You don't even have to respond to this.

MEN, UGH.

They're so ANNOYING. Have you ever had this one dude flirt with you, like, constantly? And you flirt back because you kinda sorta do like him? And every one of your mutual friends has asked you wtf has been going on between you two because fucking hell, YOU GUYS FLIRT LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW. AND THEN YOU SEE THAT HE FLIRTS WITH EVERY SINGLE PERSON? And you're like just like ????FUCK YOU????? IS THIS SOME KIND OF HYSTERICAL JOKE TO YOU?

You know what the worst part is? Everyone's sympathy. Oh god, I sound like a spoiled brat, but I swear to god, if I see that pity-filled look on their faces when they see me and him together, I cannot be responsible for what I do. THEY WON'T STOP PITYING ME, FOR BEING HEARTLESSLY REJECTED BY A FRIEND WHO WON'T STOP FLIRTING WITH ME. They act like it's so easy, so SIMPLE, to get over him, like, "SCREW HIM, HE'S NOT WORTH IT" and you just want to huddle up in the corner and wave fire sticks at them and scream back "BUT I WANT HIM". I love my friends, I really do. And I know they want the best for me, and I just don't know why I feel like this? They expect me to act like everything's...normal? When all I want to do is grab their shoulders and scream that my world is fucking imploding and all I want to do is die, and they're all just walking by without a second glance.

That boy is breaking my heart, he really, really is. But it's like I'm chasing after him and giving him the hammer for it. No, actually, it's like he's giving me the hammer and making me break my own heart while everyone watches with their fucking PITY.

This has turned out to be a lot longer and a lot angrier than I ever anticipated, and I sincerely apologise. It's just that, jesus christ, I've never felt so alone before? It's like everyone's on land and I'm on an iceberg several miles away, screaming for help, and everyone's waving back and smiling but no one is helping?

(also on a completely unrelated note, I am so so sorry for not joining in on this month's SPELL read; as you can tell, this month has been kind of fucking crazy. I will catch up in August though, I swear.)

quick question—what kind of help do you want? do you want someone to listen to you without response or judgment? or someone to offer advice? someone to egg his house with you? burn an effigy? take him by the balls and threaten his life? meditate with you? help you find peace? rescue a puppy on your behalf? rescue a puppy, give it to him and then take it away, thereby devastating him? someone to fake your death, hide away with you for twenty years and then return at the height of his schemes to reclaim your fortune and steal his bride? all valid options tbh, though part of me suspects you may not know the answer. or, if you do, you may be applying an inflammatory narrative to your friends (that they pity you) which is making you even angrier—though the reality might be that they simply don't know how to acknowledge your sadness in a way that makes you feel supported

you're angry, and that's a fair reaction. I'm just not sure that anger is your most productive reaction? speaking as a person who prefers to be angry or frustrated because sadness and disappointment feel too vulnerable (thereby making me susceptible to predation by bears, emotionally speaking) I would be willing to bet there's a truer emotion lurking somewhere under all the fury. I'm guessing it's the loneliness. or the disappointment of being let down when you tried to be brave and open yourself up.

like your friends, I can't actually help you. mostly because this is something you have to go through to get through it, but also because I don't know what kind of help you want. if all you want is someone to hear you, then you are heard! I see you and your pain is valid! what's happening to you is unfair, it's something you don't deserve. you want something from him that he either can't or won't give you, and that sucks. assuming you have expressed to him that it bothers you, it's not fair that he doesn't adjust his behavior. assuming you have kept your distance from him because you know yourself and know that you will react to his behavior in a way that undercuts your sense of emotional safety later, it sucks that you've lost a friendship that used to feel positive or even exciting. it sucks that he flirts with people who aren't you. it sucks that your friends aren't prioritizing your pain. it sucks that you're the only one feeling these things and therefore you're the only one who understands them. it REALLY sucks that sometimes we never get a satisfactory answer to the fundamental question: why did you treat me like that when all I wanted to do was be yours?

relationships are tough. it's why I write about them. every situation is unique, every pain is harsh and fresh even if it isn't. I've been here. I'm sure lots of people in the tumblrverse have been here. you aren't alone, and you didn't ask for advice, but if I could give you some, it would be to tell someone—your choice!!—what you actually want. it's definitely a skill to be able to put into words what we need, and even more so to ask for it—but I think doing so will help you get past this. as will potentially removing yourself from a very charged situation, which this is.

anyway, I'm sorry if I sound condescending, because I know if it were me in your position I would not be receptive to this (or any) advice. but that's also why I fucked up a lot until I figured out the things I've figured out, so... whatever you decide, happy fuckery or happy healing! either way, I'm on your side

[jubilantscribbler]

you ever look at a character and go, “hey buddy, why are you here?” and then try and justify it?

Yeah, Adam MadOnes, I’m looking at you.  But after some deep, deep, DEEP thought, I realized that Adam’s role in the story is easily overlooked and overshadowed in the musical compared to Kelly’s and even Sam’s mom’s relationships with Sam.  At face value, Adam is just the boyfriend who adds very little to the plot, save for the very end when he’s the reason Sam breaks out of that stupor long enough to realize that he’s not what she wants either.

But then you listen to his lines in “Drive”, and you realize, hey, wait a minute, maybe he was supposed to be kinda forgettable but always present.  Because, when you listen to his lines and what he has to offer to Sam, it’s safety.  Or rather, he’s the safety net that Sam could rely on, except that she doesn’t want to.

Lemme explain.

Compared to Kelly and Beverly’s songs, Adam’s tend to be more... chill.  “Simple as That” really shows it off, with the song having a playful but easy beat that drives home how low maintenance their relationship seems to be.  They tend to get each other... most of the time.  Their relationship is described as “perfect”, but the simple tune and beats also makes their relationship just a little bit childish, in that bright-eyed, “Santa Claus is Real” sort of way that’s endearing.  That sets up their relationship easily enough to overlook it - it’s a naive, sweet kind of love that goes with the usual High School Sweethearts narrative, where the two of them are a perfect pair and they’re TOTALLY going to get married after they graduate-

And then you get into “The Proposal” and the opening line, “Have sex with me” is backed up with an intense strum that immediately levels out into a song that gets surprisingly soft.  It sounds like a love song, but the lines are more of a plea to please have sex with Adam, he’ll make breakfast and dinner and he has candles he’ll be so romantic, and it’s like haha the usual boyfriend shenanigans until he starts backtrack and go, you know, they can always bone down tomorrow, or even next week which is surprising given how insistent Adam was for like, 90% of the song (Genius has a comment that this song is actually what Sam assumes Adam wants from her - sex, but even then, Adam still makes the effort to not completely push her to commit to the act and even suggests putting it off).  Adam appears in the background of other songs too, like “Top Ten” and “I Know My Girl”, making him an ever present, lingering background figure in Sam’s life.  He doesn’t push to make himself more prominent, and he also doesn’t push Sam to go with what he wants too.  And that’s important to keep in mind.

Adam as a character is all about being there for Sam.  He’s literally described as having “great emotional intelligence and the loyalty of a Saint Bernard”.  The first part is why he doesn’t push so hard with Sam.  He can read her cues.  He can tell when she’s uncomfortable or doesn’t want to do something, and he doesn’t push.  This is actually important to his character, and it’s how it all culminates into “Run Away with Me”.  It’s this emotional awareness that has him recognizing the importance of “On the Road” and trying to connect and reconnect with Sam after Kelly’s death, how he recognizes in that very last line that Sam... doesn’t want what he’s throwing down.  But instead of getting upset with Sam, he keeps it to himself and instead wishes her good luck in a goofy way for her driving test.

But this emotional awareness is also what makes Adam so important to Sam.  He’s different from Kelly and her mom - he doesn’t actively push her to make decisions or go along with what he wants.  Kelly forces her forward, to make decisions for herself - impulsive, wild, self-serving, but also freeing choices that are meant to lead Sam to her happiness.  Meanwhile, Beverly, Sam’s mom, pushes her towards success, to make the right decisions, to be calculating and careful but ambitious, and to understand the reality of the world they live in, specifically as women.  Adam doesn’t do any of that.  It’s why his music is less intense compared to the Kelly and Beverly’s songs, more slow and oddly calm.  Adam backtracks, tries to give Sam space for her decisions, (”maybe not today, maybe tomorrow, maybe-”), but more importantly, he wants to stick by Sam in however way she needs him to be.  

It’s that dedication and love for Sam that has her singing “Say the Word” to him, that sweet, soft love song where she says that if he asks, she’ll stay for him even though she wants to go.  In that moment, she’s giving him the chance to lead her life in a direction that he wants which, when you look at how Sam takes to people trying to dictate what she should do with her life, is oddly sweet of her to offer to him.  He doesn’t act on it immediately, probably doesn’t have the time to given the song that follows up, but when he does sing to Sam his response, it’s after Kelly’s death with the attempt to try and get her to run away with him.

This is the one time Adam actually tries to push her into making a decision.  He tells her that she’s ready, that she can make a new life with him, that they can be happy together on the road, just like her favorite book, and, interestingly, he repeats back to her the words she sang to him.  For Sam, if he said the word, she’d stay for him.  But for Adam, if she says the word, they can leave together.  Sam tells him to tell her that she’s ready in “Say the Word”, and he does in “Run Away With Me”.  Over and over, he tells her that “she’s ready now”, and it almost sounds too good to be true.  Sam can finally hit the road, something she wanted so desperately before with Kelly, something that she was so frightened of before that had her saying no.  Now she has the chance with Adam, offering her almost the same thing - a life on the road with someone she deeply cares about.

Except.

His offer comes with that little catch.  That little dream of his of settling down in a house somewhere with Sam, words that remind Sam of what Kelly warned her about before.  His offer is to save her, have a simple life with her, one that’s easy and calming and full of safety.

He’s offering her a safe way out to getting what she wants... temporarily.  What he actually wants from her is a life where they’re always together, where they can maybe get married, maybe settle down, maybe have a family if she wants or not, maybe live somewhere by the coast, and it’s not what Kelly would have wanted, or what her ambitious mom would have wanted, and it’s not what Sam wants at all.

And Adam realizes that all too late, just right at the very last line of his song, where he loses all his enthusiasm and quiets his voice just enough.  And, in the live version, you can hear his heartbreak loud and clear.  

“Drive” is where Sam’s impression of Adam really shines through as he blatantly states that he can keep Sam safe, his pleas for her to run away with him more pleading even when he says that it doesn’t have to be right away, it can be later, because Adam is always willing to wait for Sam, he’s in love with her.  To Sam, he becomes that idealized lover, that perfect high school sweetheart that follows the trope of getting married after high school, of settling down and leading a life that doesn’t have a lot of strife because they’re always so agreeable with each other.  Sure, he doesn’t maybe understand her at the same level as Kelly, nor does he push her to be her very absolute best, but he offers something simple.  Something safe.  Something that she can take her time deciding on.

Adam, compared to the rest of the cast, doesn’t really have those strong, identifiable traits other than his devotion to Sam.  He really is just that boyfriend character, but despite how his relationship with Sam practically pales in comparison to Sam’s relationship with Kelly, he’s still that important person to Sam.  He’s the safety net in her relationships, the one that’s always there to catch her, the one she ran to after her fight with Kelly and her mom, the one who inadvertently broke her out of her stupor.  He doesn’t outright add to the plot because he doesn’t push Sam to make her choices like Kelly or Beverly.  And the story is all about Sam trying to make her own choices.  Each of them have their way of going about it - Kelly by sheer force, Beverly with caution and fear, and Adam with time.  And once he finally tries to push Sam towards a decision?

That’s the tipping point that leads into “Drive”.

Like Beverly, he’s important in making Sam realize what she wants.  He’s important in making her realize what she doesn’t want, despite being that perfect, devoted boyfriend who just wants to be by her side.  He’s the rejection of that concept, similar to how Sam rejects Beverly’s idea of striving to be the best despite the hand that was given to her, of being as successful as she can be allowed and maybe even a little more, of having to live and cope with reality.  He represents the safe path, the simple path, the path a lot of people would take and have taken.  And he matters more not in what he can add to Sam’s life and story, because Sam doesn’t actually want that, but what it takes for Sam to realize, or remembers really, what she actually wants for once in her life.  Because the entire musical is about Sam searching for what she wants, and what Adam has to offer isn’t it.

It’s easy to overlook Adam really.  He doesn’t show up often in the clips floating around Youtube, he’s got like, One Really Popular Song and the other two are pretty skippable, and comparing his relationship with Sam to Kelly’s really makes you wonder why she chose to date Adam instead of Kelly, asides from the compulsory heteronormativity.  But when you actually take a step back and put together what Adam has to offer in conjunction to how the others normally act around Sam, and why he matters so much to Sam, he can be a pretty important character.  Because in the end, he’s the one who manages to push her out of her funk, and no one else.

[butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker]

you know, I’m writing this as part of a longer thing, but I’m really into the idea of both Will and Hannibal being different kinds of problematic no-label-bisexuals.

Will is straight (despite all evidence to the contrary) and identifies as straight and lives as straight, but you know, doesn’t like to put words to it exactly, and shouldn’t have to, because it is private, and he tends not to state it outright and let people just assume (and they assume he’s straight), because he doesn’t want to be put in a position to have to lie about it, or to tell a truth he sees as ultimately rather personal. He’s the definition of what the category msm is supposed to capture on a census, not really defining himself as queer or living closely with queer communities (or any communities) or politics, but nevertheless someone whose desires are significantly more complicated than he lets on. And Hannibal is the other end of the problematic-no-labels-bisexual spectrum, obviously metrosexual and happy to be thought of as such; but wouldn't answer a question about sexual orientation without anything less than a series of questions in return, about what it truly means to desire another person. Probably would choose pansexual if pushed, as part of a broader sensuality that’s all wrapped up with opera and murder and expensive Spanish hams; but it's rather vulgar to put words to it, especially when you're cultivating a certain Mood, and understand how important a little mystery is to an artist's life. Declaring a fixed orientation is inimical to growth, to curiosity, to exploration, to playfulness, and he likes the idea of people projecting onto him whatever they need to see in him, a permanent plausible deniability in which he keeps control over what he shows to others and when.

(And Alana is an unproblematic bisexual. Sure, that life hasn’t always been easy or straightforward for her - but she has an easy comfort with it and a strength of self, and is guided by a value of inner honesty, and being clear with herself and others. She's open about it when it's relevant, although perhaps a little guarded about it in a professional context, and doesn't feel any need to dissemble or pontificate about it.)

(and bonus mode, I think this kinda works narratively because of how Will and Hannibal gradually slip off the map into this increasingly surrealist European arthouse movie, everything about them becomes more intense and symbolic and unmoored; whereas Alana stays part of the cast that is grounded in normality and normal morality and in many ways, her arc is about rejecting the tug to fall into this strange otherworld, and ends with her decisively and smartly marching out of the plot to safety before the bodies start to drop, leaving the boys to their absurd grand guignol that they’ve chosen to embrace)

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 68-71

Chapter 68

Andi remembers how Kalee gave her a tour of her home and bragged about how she’d be ruling the place someday. Andi asks why her and not her brother.

Oh, Androma. Kalee had laughed then, tossing her head back in that glorious, carefree way that made everyone around her want to come closer. You and I both know that a woman can rule better than any man ever could. And I’ll look twice as good doing it, too.

Shinsay, voices muffled as their heads are stuck up each other’s asses: This is definitely, 100%, one whole, bona fide, authentic, organic, home-grown feminism that we just put in our book.

Also ... take a look at that weak-ass description that’s supposed to show us how good and cool Kalee is. When she laughs (in a way that tbh have you ever laughed? be real with me now), people want to ... come closer? 

Wow! That’s like saying ... when I scratch my face, people want to call their mom. When I brush my hair, people may spontaneously feel the need to take a slightly deeper breath.

Talk about low standards. Hey fellas, you ever see someone laugh and just kinda sorta want to approach them but not really? Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Andi thinks about how Kalee would’ve been a better ruler than her dad, who doesn’t even bother coming down to meet his tortured son because that’s how incompetent and evil and heartless he is. I mean, Andi doesn’t know that Valen is the result of rape, but still. Idk if I’m on board with how the book demonizes the hell out of the General but tried to make whatsherface sympathetic. And by “I don’t know if I am” I mean “I’m definitely not what the fuck is wrong with these people.”

Dex tries to make some conversation and Andi says that nobody befriended Kalee, that only super duper special people were CHOSEN by her to become her friends.

I’m ... not sure how this is supposed to be better. In fact, I’d say it’s worse?

“Kalee chose the people she wished to let into her life. I was honored that she allowed me to be assigned to her.”

“Honored?” Dex asked, raising a bruised brow. “Or damned?”

“I’ll let you know after we talk to the general,” Andi said.

I’m gonna fiking piss. “I’ll tell you whether this important life event was honor or damnation, but like, later, after we have this appointment, ok?” Why is this so funny. Have I fully lost my marbles?

Andi foreshadows some escape tunnels that are hidden all around the estate so Dex has a logical way to save them at the end of the book. I’m sure there is a more elegant way of setting that up, but I can’t be bothered to find one, so let’s call it acceptable and move on.

They arrive at their destination and Andi notices that Alfie seems bummed out. She muses that he’s “capable of far more complex thinking than she’d originally guessed,” which, DOY, but ok, and then thinks about how he’s saved her crew and remembered Gilly’s Marketable Space Pet, which implies he has some “understanding of feelings and attachments.”

That hamster wheel do be spinnin’.

The “head Spectre” comes out to meet them and ...

It took everything in her to speak as the truth struck her.

“Dad?”

DUN DUN DUUUN, it’s Andi’s dad! Also, “the truth struck her?” What truth? That it’s your dad? Was that in doubt? Did you really need a moment to connect the dots, to realize this is your dad? Was there a moment where you saw this man, who is your dad, and thought that this wasn’t your dad, only for the truth to strike and OH SHIT THAT’S MY DAD!! WOW HOLD YOUR HORSES EVERYONE I NEED TIME TO PROCESS THAT THIS IS INDEED MY DAD.

Tbh if you strapped knives to a roomba it’d have more charisma and presence as the protagonist than Andi. And let’s be real, more intelligence.

Yet another chapter ends on a pointless cliffhanger only for the scene to continue exactly where it left off!

You’re just full of surprises, Shinsay.

Chapter 69 (nice)

Andi recaps everything that she’s gone through after the Kalee crash up to the fight with the big alien dude who got deus ex machina-d by Alfie and how she nearly kissed Dex, which gets written as extra special, just so she can make this point:

But this...her father, as General Cortas’s head Spectre?

This might actually kill her.

And aside from how generically melodramatic it is, I can’t help but recall this, from chapter 7:

The man in front of her was a victim of her foolishness. Beside her was the man who’d rejected her love.

The two of them, together? It was nearly enough to shatter Andi.

Andi has the same reaction as I do when in a room with multiple men. Except in her case I think it’s supposed to be deep and personal.

Anyway, self-plagiarism aside, Andi thinks about how her dad was always there for her but then one day wasn’t when he didn’t support her on her trial and how conflicted she feels about him, both wanting to demand justice but also wanting comfort. This is actually quite touching and feels very grounded and realistic.

General Cortas rubs it in that Andi’s dad, “Comander Racella”, has been very loyal and hardworking since he was promoted after Andi’s trial. Andi hopes that her father actually hates the general and was forced to work for him as some sort of punishment for what happened with their daughters.

The general says the situation on Adhira has been taken care of, and when Andi asks whether Xen Ptera attacked because of Valen and her crew’s presence on Adhira, the general says that’s classified. For reasons? Idk. Seems pretty obvious to me, or maybe he just doesn’t know?

Dex tries to yap but Cortas flexes his big dick and reminds Dex that he’s a Guardian now, and Dex is too much of a baby to risk his regained status so he shuts up. This is all spelled out for us by Andi’s inner monologue, because we’re idiots.

The general claims the Xen Pteran forces have been wiped out, saying how it’s probably all they had since there’s few able-bodied and willing people to recruit for war after their planet got fucked, and when Andi presses him for why the attack happened now and on Adhira, he says:

“War never really ends, Androma. The desire for revenge is often too strong to forget.”

“War never ends ... But me and my crew totes ended that war just now. They don’t have any more soldiers so this war is over.” Makes sense, sir. 

Cortas says that queen Alara is safe and will be at the Peace Summit, which Andi immediately tells him to cancel because it would be the perfect opportunity for another attack. Cortas replies by saying that Arcardius is impenetrable and that the day the Olen System successfully invades will be the day “stars fall from the sky” which is a very poetic and not at all natural way to say something like this, so it’s there for ... idk dramatic irony? He also reminds her that the Summit is important because it celebrates the peace after the war and the unity between the systems and I’m here like ... for a guy who says war never ends, you sure seem happy to celebrate a war ending and don’t believe one is going on right now. But I guess these characters just exist to spout meaningless yet deep-sounding nonsense at each other.

Dex reminds the general that they’ve done their end of the deal, at which point the general conveniently decides to prolong it out of nowhere and essentially forces Andi and Dex to be Valen’s bodyguards at the Peace Summit by holding Andi’s crew and ship and Dex’s money and status hostage. Thanks for ensuring the main characters are there for the climax, sir! Appreciated!

Dex and Andi leave in a huff.

Chapter 70

We’re in Lira’s POV as she reminisces about her childhood with Lon while he’s recovering from his near-death-experience.

So she sat by [Lon’s] side for endless hours, until the warm clutches of sleep stole her away.

She dreams about flying on an “Adhiran darowak” but then DUN DUN DUUUN Adhira below turns into Xen Ptera and it’s horrible!

“No,” Lira gasped. Her heart began to crack. Fissures spread through it, reaching cold fingers through every valve until Lira felt darkness stealing her away.

So the editor just left that in, huh? Just let Shinsay use the exact same wording in less than 200 words? Must’ve been stolen away by the editing fairy for editing crimes while reading this.

Lira is woken up by Alara, who got here so fucking fast she must be part-Sonic on her father’s side. You’d think a planetary leader would have more to do after a sudden and deadly attack on her home planet, but I guess Adhirans are so chill they’ll just let their leader fuck off to take care of her angsty teenage niece instead.

Lira says that she’ll do anything to make up for bringing Valen to Adhira, to which Alara says that the only thing Lira will do is “follow her heart,” which is sweet of her to say but also really convenient and makes this whole decision easier for her.

I mean, it’s nice that Alara is so supportive, but 1) narratively, it removes the conflict that was introduced only a few chapters ago 2) it makes Alara seem like she’s only there to be the supportive cool aunt and the Good Queen, without any expectations or wants of her own. Like, wasn’t the pressure from Alara something that gave Lira actual conflict? Idk. Seems too easy, is what I’m saying.

Lira didn’t let go of her aunt until the tears dried up. Until they sat down on either side of Lon’s bedside, held his hands and spoke of happier times. The beauty of a family that could come together, broken, and still find a way to become something whole.

You’re one step away from “Ohana means family” over here, Shinsay. Stop spelling shit out. WE. GET. IT. Also, whose narration is this? We’ve mostly stuck to third person limited, so ... is Lira thinking this? Is she thinking this shit while it’s happening? About her own family and situation? What the fuck?

Shinsay couldn’t keep their suspiciously sticky fingers out of their own writing and let it breathe so it comes out looking like God’s mistake.

Anyway, Lon wakes up and Alara tells him what went down on Adhira.

Chapter 71

We’re back with Andi, who just got out of a bath and is bitterly admiring her “private quarters” when she’s interrupted by DUN DUN her dad! He’s been waiting for her!

It’s all very tense. Before they can really start talking, though, we get a flashback. No, really. This whole tense reunion between father and daughter is interrupted by a lengthy flashback brought on by Andi watching her dad and Remembering.

Because Shinsay.

It’s a flashback to Andi in a cell, the day before she was supposed to be executed. Her dad tells her that her mother is "not well” and we find out his name is Oren. As they’re saying their tearful goodbyes, Oren slips Andi a key and tells her “Bay Seven. Tomorrow at dawn.” 

The flashback ends with Andi’s cell standing empty the next morning.

Very cool and all that.

Back in the now, Andi rightfully chews her dad out for being a cowardly little bitch and throwing his teenage daughter under the bus for the sake of status. Something he freely admits to doing. He says he and her mother had to struggle to rebuild their reputation after she ruined it, and that he believes his daughter died with Kalee and that whoever he saved in the cell was already the Bloody Baroness even if she didn’t know it yet. Then he fucks off.

It’s all extremely silly. It would’ve been heartbreaking in any better book, but instead, it just feels like it’s tacked on for the sake of adding even more angst to Androma’s character. In fact, she’s not even upset at this. Instead she just carves some more tallies into her swords, dances some more with the dead, and then sneaks out.

No really, it’s written like a list.

She waited for the tears to come. But they never did.

Instead she sat alone, adding more tallies to her swords. Dancing with the dead inside her head.

Why is this so funny! I think it’s because both the tally-carving and the ghost-dancing is supposed to be these deep and haunted things she does that’s given a fair amount of weight and focus, but then it’s just written out like this like it’s just some generic routine shit she does like brushing her teeth or wiping her ass.

Yup, there she goes, doing her generic angsty shit one after the other. Emotional whiplash glossed over for the sake of moving the plot along. She’s in such a bad mental state that we simply MUST ignore it and move on.

Also, I want to highlight how convenient it is for Shinsay to already have Andi suspect and previously coming to terms with how her parents don’t love her before this confrontation. Like, we see her father save her tearfully, yet Andi has almost no hope that he still loves her. Or, she does, but when it’s squashed, she just ... accepts it? Because hey, she already processed that trauma years before! Makes it easy!

Wouldn’t it make it more impactful if all these years, she’s hoped that she has a home to come back to? That her father’s final act of saving her meant they love her still and want her to come back? And now she finds out that they never even mourned her loss? Wouldn’t that be heart-wrenching? And also add to the idea that Andi wants to return to Arcardia, both because it’s her home planet but also because that’s where her parents are? Instead we’re led to believe Andi wants to return, but when she does, she hates it here, she knows nobody wants her here, and she wants to leave immediately.

I seriously question the inclusion of this subplot and these characters. It adds nothing, changes nothing, and is just there to make Andi more angsty, which she already is, so ... why is this here lmao?

Shinsay really went “let’s squander all our potentially interesting ideas and concepts for the sake of more cheap angst and making our protag a cool emotionless badass who don’t care for no thing.”

[silver-wield]

Hi this is not Cloti related but do you have an analysis on Cloud's relationship with Jessie? Particularly during chapter 4 after the bike mini-game? Cloud looks worried

Sorry this took a while, Nonny, I get a bit done in from life lol

So Cloud and Jessie, the girl who absolutely has no issue throwing herself at our boi. It's pretty good for him because at least he gets used to girls being all over him and helps him make his mind up just who he wants to show attention to #cough# Tifa #cough#

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be smol.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Let's mosey!

Recap time!

Chapter four and our reluctant hero has been roped into help the avalanche trio go topside. Problem is they missed the last train and have to take their bikes instead. Cue a few problems with security and a meeting with the master of extra, Roche. Once that's out of the way, Jessie rewards Cloud depending on your expertise.

This scene has 3 optional endings.

Quick aside, I find it hilarious that Cloud literally tells Jessie to shut up and get off the bike when she starts annoying him during the minigame.

Ok, ending one. The bad ending where Jessie's beyond disappointed with you. These are hard to pick apart because a lot of Cloud's attention is on the road, so the usual microexpressions are even harder to catch.

But look what I caught anyway! Check that brow quirking like “excuse you?” and it's accurate because he says he's a great driver in the next moment. I really love going over these scenes and spotting all these because they build such a clearer picture of Cloud is as a person. And clearly boi doesn't like his driving ability being questioned, especially seeing how Jessie didn't do squat to help him, aside from being annoying lol

Well, Cloud does seem a bit worried here if the frown is anything to go by. I'm guessing it's because this is the bad ending and as much as he's not into Jessie, he doesn't like people having a bad impression of him. He doesn't like the idea that he's not thought of as the big badass capable merc in all ways, so this could well be hints of that self-doubt coming through. 

Although, after watching the other two endings, this is the only time we see this typical cycle of expressions he does before concluding something. This is what I like to call a real!Cloud inner debate. Cloud often goes through a lot of quick expressions or his eyes dart around. Since they can’t do that here, we get the former. Judging from the frown at the end, he’s not impressed with his own performance and likely berating himself for not being good enough. Again. Someone call a therapist for Cloud, plz.

And moving onto the second ending, which you get if you did ok on the minigame. These are making me wonder which one's canon. I don't think it's the kiss and actually, it may well be the bad one since that's where we get the most facial expression and close ups from Cloud compared to the others where we see the back of his head or a mid range view.

For this scene we only get one close up of Cloud's face and it's pretty much SOLDIER!Cloud and then the next time he speaks you can't even see his face. This is the kind of thing that hints to me which optional scene is the one we're supposed to be getting for Cloud's narrative story (and that I actually forgot about for my playthrough as Cloud lol I got the middle one because I kinda suck at fighting Roche, but I try).

Yeah, so a lot of sighing from Cloud at Jessie, the annoyed kind. I mean, we know she kinda irritates him, but he likes her too, just not in a romantic way. You also don't see his reaction to her “I might be falling after all” line and only hear him say “hmm?” Then when his face is next in frame it's full on SOLDIER, so there's really nothing to pick apart.

And now the good ending where you get a kiss from Jessie! Ooh lala!!

CLOUD'S FACE HERE! OMG I'M DYING! He's such a boi in a man sometimes! Adorable af! Definitely never even had a kiss on the cheek before in his life and look at the ott reaction to it!

WAIT! Wait! I've seen that face before somewhere!

YES OMG I'M DYING! It's the same reaction as the one to Aerith's best dress! OMG!

I'm sorry, I genuinely need a minute....

Ok, so...looool ok....I can be sensible here....maybe loool erm, the unrealistic expression on Cloud's face shows that it's unlikely this is the outcome that happened. But, on the other hand if the red dress happened then so did this kiss, so choose your poison lol

omg I love the devs for this! I really do! This is hilarious! I can’t even look at these two pics without laughing!

Ok, sensible. Kinda. 

And last one where Cloud looks grim af as usual, but with a hint of “what do I do about this?” because Jessie kissed him and he's not interested and he has no clue what to do with women and likely wants to reject her, but still doesn't know what to do with women, so you can see the dilemma he's in lol

It doesn't help when Jessie tries calling him out on it and he has this tiny frown in response. His attention is split between trying to talk to her and driving, so it's no wonder he's not that talkative and abrupt. If I wanted to speculate I'd say if he actually had an interest in her as more than friends he'd have tried harder. He had his little chat with Marle already, so he's not opposed to putting himself out if he wants to. He doesn't here, but he's still trying to concentrate, so that could explain the lack of attention, but still, Jessie kissed him and he got scowly.

Conclusion.

Well, I for one didn't remember there were 3 of these endings – each with their own remix of Jessie's theme, just like another 3 optional scenes with a remixed theme lol the parallels are killing me!

The music for each should also hint at which one is the narrative canon – I'm useless with music analysis so bear with me. The first one does sound like it fits with the other girls' themes, so very simple, easy to listen to in the background and memorable in its way. The second is louder and has more techno notes in, making it seem less like a background piece and more in your face. The last one has vocalists and is a full on pop song! No way is that right lol

For two of the three of these we don't really get much in the way of Cloud's face. It could be put down to him driving, but we get a couple of very good close ups on the bad one with varied expressions, one of which definitely goes towards his personal motivation to be thought of as a hero. Having people point out his faults would cause that kind of reaction.

The second result really doesn't have much in the way of facial expression and Cloud's voice is brisk because he's driving, so I can't really say much about it one way or the other. It’s the one I get the most when I’m playing and it’s kinda blah. Like your standard minigame pass screen. That probably didn’t help.

The last one is hilarious! That's such an exaggerated expression! Do people really believe Cloud pulls that kind of pikachu face on the regular?! I legit needed to stop because I couldn't stop laughing! That's not Cloud or real!Cloud, that's just bloody funny! Also, Cloud doesn't seem too impressed by the result if that last minute frown is any indication. He doesn't want Jessie kissing him, even though it's probably the first time any girl has kissed him – poor sweet summer child lol

If I had to make a guess at the narrative canon I'd say number one, because we know for a fact that Cloud hasn't been driving for years. Boi gets motion sickness ffs! And when did he ever drive a motorcycle? I'd definitely buy that being one of the first times he's ever driven, which would explain why he did so poorly and why he has multiple varied expressions in that result.

[hamliet]

Hello! Have you seen TROS yet? [Spoiler alert] I was really devastated by the ending - coming out the theater feeling upset and disappointed. Do you have any thoughts on it? Or maybe any plan to write fix-it fic? Thank you!

I am seeing it tomorrow. That said, I’ve read the plot summary, and no good execution can save that. So I was planning on posting this after I watched it with amendments made as I hope to enjoy it, but I’ll just post it now and amend this as necessary based on the film as I see it. (I still believe I will enjoy the film, even if I don’t think it’s a good film. I do think that. I really do... I hope.)

BASED ON THE PLOT SUMMARIES ALONE (grains of salt everywhere!): 

I think it’s technically… messy writing at best and downright bad writing in other parts.* 10/10 it’s a blockuster-y, JJ Abrams-esque, (hopefully) fun, messy narrative movie that will be forgotten in 0.3 seconds.

Disclaimer before everyone comes after me: if you like it, AWESOME. If you think it’s good writing, great! Good writing and bad writing are inherently subjective; that said, there are general consensuses among literary studies about what constitutes bad and good writing. Hence, I’m relying on those consensuses when I call it messily written.

Before we get into specifics, I’ll compare it to two other major pop culture endings: Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame.

TROS is similar to the GoT final season in that it attempts to incorporate every aspect of fan speculation ever. However, it’s more like Endgame in that it is still somewhat true to the themes and characters—but unfortunately also like Endgame, it is not transformative or particularly interesting as a story on its own. In fact, it’s rather boring and honestly… bad storytelling. It tries to rehash Return of the Jedi but it doesn’t succeed in any way because the world and the overall story has grown since the early 1980s, and so the same story doesn’t work anymore.

Showing a cyclical story remaining cyclical with no sign of that breaking–instead, the cycles are even reinforced–does not give optimism nor does it give hope.

Redemption=death needs to die already. If we really want to reach people and tell them that the message is that you can always make a better choice (as Daisy Ridley and JJ Abrams have said about Kylo’s arc), maybe don’t send the message in each and every story that you have to die to redeem yourself. Look outside of cultural secular Calvinism, for the love of God and the betterment of the world and stories as a whole.

Now let’s talk Rey’s parentage.

We know Rey Palpatine wasn’t planned from the beginning (Trevorrow, the original write/director of IX, who was thankfully fired, said that he never planned for Palpatine to return), which means Rey’s parentage was most likely retconned from TLJ and there was no real plan for the sequel trilogy’s overall character arcs (save for Kylo’s, according to the actors and writers).

Listen to me. You don’t have to have everything planned when you start a three-film saga, but you gotta know the major beats.

This is like a sad game of movie telephone. 

Yes, I know the OT Star Wars didn’t have a plan either and it’s like one of the only examples I can think of where no plan worked out–albeit not without hiccups (Leia kissing Luke, anyone?) If you expect lightning to strike twice in the same place, I’m sorry, but you are hopelessly naive.

Having Rey decide she wants to carry on the name Skywalker at the end is lame as shit. It’s a way to appease fans while being like nah she still isn’t related. Trying to please every fan is a sure way to guarantee that you will please no one. It might make for a perfectly pleasant film experience (I really hope it does), but not good, lasting storytelling (though not like, horrific either). It’s meh. It’s like… giving someone who is starving oatmeal. It will get the job done but will it satisfy and enthrall people? Not quite.

And let’s switch gears for a minute to Finn and Rose, my first and third favorite characters in this trilogy (Kylo is second, Rey is fourth). The sidelining of Rose is nothing short of a terrible attempt to please the white-supremacist-aligned Fandom Menace. Let’s not pretend it’s anything else. JJ’s lipservice about how wonderful it was that Kelly was cast at SW Celebration is, in hindsight, absolutely nauseating.

Shame on JJ. Shame on Disney.

But the main problem I have with this film is this:

Why did it need to exist?

The answer is money. Obviously. I know, I know stories exist to make money. That doesn’t mean I can’t criticize the fact that the story was sacrificed on the unholy altar of capitalism and Disney’s desire to own our souls. (Disney–the reason I like your movies is that a lot of them are good stories. I’m not interested in pandering soooooo.)

The Rise of Skywalker does not enhance the Star Wars narrative. Nothing about this film satisfies the Skywalker Saga nor the sequel trilogy, and it kind of all comes down to Kylo Ren’s death being the nail that sunk the entire world of Star Wars.

Keep in mind Kylo is not my favorite character when I’m saying this. Finn is. But I never spoke about Finn as much because the story didn’t utilize him properly. I never had concerns about Finn getting a happy ending while I was worried for Rey and Kylo’s arcs. (Finn’s arc, however, did have a ton more potential than was capitalized on; in particular, he would have been better if he was more conflicted over say, shooting other stormtroopers. His whole character humanized the usual red shirts, which when paired with Rose’s everywoman character, had so much potential I could shriek about it all day. That he didn’t lead other brainwashed stormtroopers into rebellion and freedom saddens me. Also, his ending again seems to bring about a good victim/bad victim dichotomy when it is compared with Kylo’s. The reason these two are my faves is that they were brainwashed as kids which, well, I can kinda sorta heavily relate to.)

Kylo Ren and Rey’s relationship doesn’t really get much better than it did in The Last Jedi. It actually rehashes that arc significantly. We already knew Kylo would fight for Rey and the galaxy, so… how was this different? Now, if he had lived, it would have been different, because it was the after the fight that proved that Kylo wasn’t ready to redeem himself in The Last Jedi. It was Kylo’s choice to stay at the expense of Rey and the Resistance that was literally the set up for conflict in the next film. This… turned it into nothing? Their conflict is rehashed and then whoo-hoo! Easy way out! Kill him so that they don’t have to deal with the “after” this time! They never have to deal with the conflict literally set up in The Last Jedi.

That’s bad writing, fam.

Life is infinitely more interesting. Leaving the story open with a living Skywalker instead of killing literally everyone involved with the Skywalkers except Rey who now adopts that name is… so unsatisfying I can’t even. Even if later material shows him showing up as a Force Ghost, like: cool saw that with Vader so this… adds nothing to the existing films. It doesn’t really reconcile anything.

It also… does not help the Rey=Mary Sue argument. She is NOT a Mary Sue, and that is a sexist term itself, but in no way is it a satisfying ending to her arc, because it isn’t a well-written ending which means it isn’t a well-written arc. The problem with Rey’s ending is a mirror of my problem with Kylo’s ending: it’s the very much a combination of her ending in The Last Jedi and her life before The Force Awakens.

She and Kylo are now separated (permanently this time).

She’s has her Resistance friends.

She’s alone on a desert planet.

But wait! Now she’s now happy!

Uh, why? The only reason I can think of is that the narrative demands it. Because honestly, what changes? The family she chose–the Skywalkers–are just as dead as her Palpatine birth family, soooooo. I suppose she reconciled with her heritage and come to peace with it and so that’s why she’s happy now, but… I can’t lie. It’s not hopeful. It’s not optimistic. It’s not Star Wars and it isn’t consistent for the message (especially if this is supposed to be the ending to the saga!) to be both:

life sucks for the Skywalkers and then they die–seriously, look at Shmi, Anakin, Padmé, Leia, Luke, Han, Kylo–it is LITERALLY ALL OF THEM; and

deciding to be a Skywalker means you’re at peace.

I can only assume Rey’s life will suck and then she’ll die, tbh, unless of course she is better off because of her blood… which negates the point of her being a Skywalker and is a really gross idea.

YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH IN YOUR ENDING. PICK ONE.

Rejecting the Skywalkers would be anti-Star Wars, for sure, but marrying into them as a way of bridging the unfinished pain between Anakin and Padmé and Leia and her father? Much better. Or just leave it open. Honestly, leave it open for Kylo and Rey to both be alive and see each other again.

But you’re just upset your ship didn’t get a happy ending!

No, I’m upset about the storytelling, of which shipping is a part. A canonical part just as much as the lightsaber fights are. Anakin and Padmé. Leia and Han. Finn and Rose. Poe and Zorii. Rey and Ben.

The Force created Anakin, remember? All films–even the spin-offs–encourage our heroes to trust the force. “May the force be with us.” But the Force created an ENTIRE FAMILY THAT LIVED LIVES THAT SUCKED AND MADE LIFE SUCK FOR EVERYONE AROUND THEM AND THEN THEY DIED.

May the Force stay far the f*ck away from me, amen.

But seriously I can’t trust the world of a galaxy far far away or its narrative anymore. It’s a contradiction that causes all nine films to unravel. Why?

Again, let’s return to my earlier GoT comparison, because there is one thing TROS does that is more similar to GoT than to Endgame: Endgame drew together a bunch of unique distinctly separate stories into a crossover. TROS, just like GoT, relied on cliffhanger, incomplete endings to its films and therefore the ending matters a hell of a lot more than a stand-alone story.

I’m not dying to rewatch it like I am with stories where I realize I might learn more the second time. And by “rewatch it” I mean the entire nine-film saga. Knowing that canonically Leia, Luke, Han–they all die and their last descendent dies, the last descendent of Padmé and Anakin–for me, it’s personally gonna be hard to watch again. It’s gonna be hard to watch TROS going into it the first time.

And so the saga of bad endings continues.

Game of Thrones remains the worst at a -100 out of 10. It’s followed by Tokyo Ghoul:re which is still 2/10, and Star Wars is, on paper (meaning after I see it I am hoping it rises a few notches) now… 4/10. Endgame is a solid 6.5/10.

Banana Fish, sweetie, I’m sorry you were ranked down there. Your ending is a 7/10 but the rest of your story is like, 10/10 so you are sprung from this list.

Help me, Shingeki no Kyojin. You’re my only hope.

[signaturedish]

A question for ur TF fic. What if when Harry gets turned he's like, younger? When it happens I mean (He is 10 right?) Like, five or something maybe? What would change? How would the bots and cons react? How would Harry react?

Hey you! Sorry that took a hot minute. 

Yeah, Harry’s ten in the fic. 

The way I intended it was that he was clearly ten in his internal monologue right up until he was turned into a robobaby. Then the trauma on top of a completely different set of instincts had him thinking and behaving a good 5-3 years younger than his current age with a gradual upward incline as he got more comfortable and familiar with himself in later chapters. Right now in the narrative, he’s almost back to normal, we’re just waiting on a returning desire for independence which won’t happen until he’s secure in his relationship with Megs.

So to make him five, I think that drop in maturity would come off much more dramatically. He was a pretty independent human ten-year-old, resigned to his treatment as a servant, and capable on his own. A five-year-old Harry would be far newer to his servant status and much more unsure of himself from the getgo- Five-year-olds aren’t built for the kind of independence the Durselys expect from him, we’re right in the middle of those growing pains. 

Then we turn him into a robobaby. 

(I like the age I chose for Harry but sad baby Harry was so cute I made this a little long for more details, excuse my indulgence)

Appearance-wise he wouldn’t change much. He’s already too small and at the youngest growth stage, his internal programming would probably be more toddler-esque with a stronger inclination to cry for attention, a greater need for positive attention, and more automatic behaviors geared toward inciting those things. 

Oh and he keeps his lisp.

The first few days would be a nightmare, like constant crying, deeply distressed at all times, desperately reaching out to the scientists on blind instinct and getting reprimanded for it at every turn. A whole mess, a whole inconsolable mess, the scientists think there’s something fundamentally wrong with him, he’s incoherent past the point of even perceived aggression. 

Then Megatron makes his move. He’s been hearing what sounds like a newspark being tortured for hours and hours and now that he can see that it probably isn’t a sleep paralysis-level nightmare driving him to madness he needs to Handle This ASAP.

First problem- Harry isn’t responding to cool, logical instructions to communicate through comm. He’s way past regular conversation. 

This is eventually resolved when Megatron very clumsily takes the right stabs at comforting him. It takes hours, some sullen silences, panicking, maybe a soft reboot or two, but he does get there. Crooning lullabies, softer sentences, praise when Harry stops crying, Megatron is flying so blind it isn’t even funny but he’s not dumb, he can see it’s working.

The transformers view PA!Harry as a very gifted and mature toddler. This itty bitty little baby can fit so much serious thought and a burgeoning emotional intelligence in it so they try their best to accommodate and not come off terribly condescending. Success varies. 

Younger!Harry acts much truer to his appearance. So in general, how the TF crew thinks of Harry changes very little, but how they respond to him does.

Megatron is as soft as he can possibly be to the point of genuine pain. Harry is so much more emotionally dependant and lost that it’s less easy to drift back into overlord mode around him. You’ll note that Megatron doesn’t have another mode to switch to, just a rusty parental unit protocol set he’s never activated before. Soundwave gets called down immediately, surveillance be damned, he needs someone with caretaking knowledge and he needs them now. 

Bumblebee doesn’t really perceive the difference, he couldn’t clock Harry’s age in any au, he was kinda sure the bot was glitched initially. His genuine confusion when Harry kicks and screams and sobs like a very young child who’s thinnest thread of guidance was just ripped away from him by a lying yellow monster easily comes across as cruelty. The mistrust and fear/hatred Harry develops for him does not mellow for far longer than his stay with the Autobots.

On the bright side his meltdown makes the Autobots come to terms with their find much more quickly. They could hear the distress calls a mile from the dam and had a lot of the freakout there instead. 

Ironhide rips him out of Bumblebee’s cab while Jazz is split between hovering worriedly and tearing the scout to pieces for allowing him to get so worked up. Similar rough aesthetic and coloring to Megatron and an English accent help a great deal in calming Harry down and the rocking and lullabies do the rest. 

Every Autobot has his targeting systems on and a whole lot of automatic aggression coursing through them with the terror and pain of a sparkling still fresh in the air. After Bumblebee is brought to miserable apologies and Bonecrusher is ripped limb from limb they’re still pumped and ready to Throw Down with Megatron. But he just makes that deal to keep Harry safe and assures Harry that he’ll be okay with Optimus and Megs’ll be back soon. 

Harry is still distraught Megatron left him with strangers. But he’s there long enough to form those Autobot attachments, primarily with Ironhide, Ratchet and Jazz.

Ironhide doesn’t put him down much at all, even when Harry tries to hide it, he gets anxious all alone on the cot and much prefers the nook between pauldron and helm to cuddle in and listen to growly war stories and life lessons. He sleeps up there whenever possible too. Ironhide can tell all this and happily allows it, staying stock-still for hours and gently rousing him whenever Harry begins to have a nightmare about the dam.

Ironhide’s perception hasn’t logically changed much, but the way Harry behaves ticks every box to drive him into an overprotective rampage, to the point that humans aren’t allowed within thirty feet of him and even the tiniest whimper has him hovering like three thousand pounds of promised death over his charge. 

They bond the closest, to the point that Ironhide could plausibly replace Megatron as Harry’s imprinted guardian (but he doesn’t).

Jazz and Ratchet share tertiary ‘older brother’ type roles in Harry’s life. Jazz reads to him, plays games with him, and holds him when Ironhide can’t be there. His playful casualness helps keep Harry calm and gets him to open up, but its not something he responds to as successfully. Camaraderie is appreciated but not something an insecure five-year-old always understands.

Jazz gains the most points correcting Optimus’ treatment of him and handling any humans who get into the hanger before Ironhide does something drastic. Thinks that play up his aptitude as a parental figure and devotion to keeping him healthy and safe. 

Ratchet...he really needs Harry’s observational skills and willingness to shoulder some emotional weight in the relationship, unfair or not. Without the ability to deliver the reassurance Ratchet needs, in addition to possessing a much more fragile disposition himself, it can be difficult for Ratchet to interact with Harry. He keeps to himself when Harry doesn’t ask for him or need treatment and they read rejection in each other’s hesitance too often for Harry to pursue the affection fit to burst in Ratchet.

Ratchet would 100% die for him and is right up there with Ironhide as his most aggressive defender, but he isn’t a great source of comfort for Younger!Harry. He wins his points through being the best cuddler, hands down, and praising him most often. Soft moments when neither of them are shy or afraid are where they’re closest.

Optimus is weirdly like Bumblebee here. He has Harry clocked as infant but god knows that that’s supposed to mean. He doesn’t have a mode outside of Prime to switch to for Harry and the stumbling we see in PA is him doing his very best. He’s not dumb, he recognizes that Harry isn’t emotionally mature enough to be spoken to the way he might mistakenly speak to him in PA, but he doesn’t have any other words. There’s a lot of frustrated staring and helpless silences here. 

Jazz tries his best to gently encourage some softer interactions and Ironhide is raring to punish his Prime if he dares misstep with his sparkling charge, tensions stay a little high.

With Soundwave planning Harry’s extraction, it goes off almost without a hitch, no sparklings were bitten in the attempt at least. Thundercracker might actually die depending on the plan. He has the most experience out of the Decepticons with immature and young bots via his own casseticons and a paternal disposition under all his cool logic. So he’s bustling around like an expectant mother, training up all the other Cons in grueling exercises and curriculum to get them up to his standards of child rearing aptitude and childproofing the base.

Megatron really does appreciate some tangible, reliable instructions. He’d appreciate it even more if he wasn’t a little bit threatened by how confident and capable Soundwave is when interacting with Harry. Soundwave quickly becomes the second favorite- almost on par with Ironhide.

Barricade is terrified of Harry in that way twenty-somethings are terrified when married friends give them babies and then leave to do something. This is way too important and delicate for him and someone pleaserescuehimitsgettingcloserohmygod-

Thundercracker is much more cautious handling Harry. We haven’t gotten there yet in PA, but he’s kind of the fun uncle who definitely goads Harry into things partially to get under Meg’s skin. Not so when Harry is more openly vulnerable and clumsy, now we’ve got a little baby chick who needs to stay in his nest and be warm and safe. Gliding will happen much, much later. If ever.

Harry was affected by how the scientists treated him to the point of being intensely shy around friendly, good humans and flatly terrified of anyone else. Megatron hunted down every remaining SS agent with Soundwave’s help to finish the job for that.

Eventually, Harry would feel more secure and comfortable and would start wanting to be on the ground and playing with less parental bots instead of carried everywhere by his guardians, but that recovery is achieved at the Decepticon base after some weeks have passed.

Okay and I think that’s it! Thanks for asking!! I had probably too much fun...