#and i have so many more of them to go next chapter
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backfliips · 19 hours ago
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Answered below the cut:
How many fics have you worked on since January?
I've worked on 9 since January, one of which I'm still currently working on and will be working on for the next few months, probably.
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
A lot of things! I think the biggest one is alternating perspectives.
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
Baldur's Gate 3, obviously, haha.
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
Just the one, BG3.
What ships captured your heart?
Mostly Wyllstarion, but I also wrote Minscstarion and Halsin/Ulder Ravengard LOOOLLLL..... crack ships taken seriously are so good to me
What characters captured your heart?
Wyll mostly, and also Astarion.
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
Yes, all of the ones I've listed so far! The newest ones were Minscstarion and Ulsin LOOL I sort of was the flagship for both of those.
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What's Become of You, because that was the first long-form creative writing project I've ever done! I'd only done short stories before then, and then I sat down and churned out a novel-length fanfiction. it meant a lot to me to know that it was something I'm capable of.
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
Probably also What's Become of You, but all of the fics I've written have made me super happy. If they didn't make me happy, I wouldn't write them. Right now, the fic I'm working on (titled "Sorry For Your Loss") is really making me excited too, but I won't be posting it for a while.
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
Again, What's Become of You.
What fic was the most difficult to write?
The one I'm currently working on. Where What's Become of You basically already had a whole plot outline because it just follows the entire plot of BG3, Sorry For Your Loss is far more original and has required SO much outlining and re-outlining and re-re-re-outlining, and I've redone so many chapters from the ground up because I wasn't happy with them. It's been a real challenge, but it's one that I'm really excited to keep conquering >:^)
What fic was the easiest to write?
Keep Talking, for sure. That one's just brainless smut. Of course, that's made it my most popular wyllstarion fanfiction HAHAHAHAHA.... but that's how these things go.
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
Shortest was Keep Talking, longest was What's Become of You.
What were your go-to writing songs?
The "deep focus" playlist on spotify hahahahaha I can't listen to stuff with lyrics much when I'm writing, and a lot of other background songs end up distracting me. Honestly, 75% of the time I'm just writing in silence.... or to the sound of a busy crowd. (Don't worry, I don't write anything NSFW in public.)
What was the hardest fic to title?
Health Potions (Or: If Only Someone Here Knew Cure Light Wounds). That one was a toss up, and as you can see, I still couldn't choose between two titles lmao
What's your favorite title of the year?
Probably A Haughty Spirit (Goeth Before a Fall) because that's a bible verse I chopped up and that just cracks me up a little bit. I have the title for an eventual sequel planned if I ever write it, which would be "To Be Humble (In Spirit with the Lowly)."
Share your favorite opening line
Do chapter opening lines count? Here's a sneak peek from Sorry For Your Loss.
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Share your favorite ending line
Another chapter ending line from Sorry For Your Loss.
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Share your favorite piece of dialogue
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Share your funniest line
"He was the best-dressed homeless man in the city. Of this he was sure."
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
While working on my latest fic, a certain conversation went in a totally different direction than I planned, but I ended up really liking how it turned out. I had to go back to the drawing board for a couple things later in the story because of it, but I think it's way better this way.
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
Google Drive mostly. I like to write things on paper when I'm outlining, or when I'm feeling stuck. It keeps me from deleting things, and I care less about getting it Perfect that way.
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Finishing What's Become of You, definitely.
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
No, I wanted to get a cake for What's Become of You, but I had plans that day and that ended up being fun enough that I didn't feel the need to get a cake.
How did you recharge between fics?
Laying on the floor. I don't actually have a recharge method, I just write when inspiration strikes me.
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
Oh, yes. So much fanart lmao.
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
Just one! Wyllstarion Secret Solstice event, but I did art instead of writing for that one.
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
@foxflowering definitely!! She really helped me improve my writing so much and she was such a fantastic editor for What's Become of You.
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
Keep writing Sorry For Your Loss, really.
What would you like to write next year?
I want to finish Sorry For Your Loss and do a couple more short-form Wyllstarion pieces. I have ideas! Lots of ideas!!!!
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A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!
How many fics have you worked on since January?
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
What ships captured your heart?
What characters captured your heart?
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
What fic was the most difficult to write?
What fic was the easiest to write?
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
What were your go-to writing songs?
What was the hardest fic to title?
What's your favorite title of the year?
Share your favorite opening line
Share your favorite ending line
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
How did you recharge between fics?
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
What would you like to write next year?
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parkitrighthere · 3 days ago
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The Black Orchid Project
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Pairing: billionaire CEO!Jeon Jungkook x Secretory!Reader Genre: Dark Romance, Mystery, Thriller Word Count: 19k Trigger warning: This chapter contains morally grey characters, toxic characters, dark romance, trauma, violence, mentions of murder, death, and conspiracy. Reader discretion is advised. Summary: Jungkook is the enigmatic CEO of a major conglomerate with a haunting secret—he can hear everyone’s thoughts. But when Y/N becomes his new personal secretary, she’s the only person whose thoughts remain silent to him. Intrigued and unsettled, Jungkook is drawn to the mystery she presents, not realizing that their connection will unravel secrets neither of them are prepared to face. a/n: This story is entirely a work of fiction and is the sole property of @kookiewithluv. The characters, events, and scenarios depicted are products of the imagination and are not intended to represent or reflect real-life situations, nor do I wish for anything portrayed here to occur in reality. I kindly ask that my work not be copied, translated, or reposted as your own on this or any other platform, including YouTube. Please respect the effort and originality behind this piece. Thank you for your understanding and support. a/n: So, I finally posted. Yeah, I know, shock of the century, right? You were probably out here cursing my name like, 'Where the heck have you been?' Well, I guess I just decided not to post this time. Don’t ask me why, I don’t even know. But hey, I’m sorry for that. I know, I say sorry a lot, it’s like my default setting at this point. But I swear, I’m really going to try and post more. I promise. Maybe. Also, a super huge shoutout and a massive thank you to my absolute favorite person @closer-to-jungkook. She beta-read this mess for me, and gave me so many amazing insights, but guess what? I didn’t do a single thing with them because, you know, I’m a failure like that. So, yeah, basically I let her down as my beta reader. Sorry, girl. But next time, I swear, I’ll actually listen and make you proud... unless I forget, again, in which case... whoops. Anyway, love you guys, and I’ll try not to disappear again... maybe.
PROLOGUE MASTERLIST 02
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CHAPTER TITLE: Work, Words, and Wrecks
You shifted uncomfortably in your chair, your hands gripping the edges of the table, knuckles white as you tried to appear composed. But your patience was wearing thin. He was overreacting, making a mountain out of nothing. Sure, you’d made a mistake—who hadn’t?—but this? This was ridiculous. What was his deal with the room’s capacity? Why on earth was he so bothered about having more than four people in a room? Seriously, what kind of control freak rule was that? You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress the urge to roll your eyes. Was he scared of crowds or something? Honestly, with his attitude, he should be. If he kept ticking people off like this, one day, someone might snap—and if there were enough people, they’d form a mob. The thought almost made you snort, but you swallowed it down, biting your cheek. It was a silly theory, but it was better than trying to untangle the nonsense of his rules.
The meeting dragged on. Time seemed to crawl as if the clock itself was protesting against the sheer monotony of the discussion. It hadn’t been long since it started, but to you, it already felt like you’d been trapped in this room for days. You lost count of the times his gaze—no, his glare—scorched into you. Each glance filled with condescension that felt like a slap across the face.
He glared at you again. His soft, doe-like eyes narrowed, dark and piercing, with a keenness that made you shrink back slightly. His jaw tightened, the muscle jumping under his skin as he ground his teeth. You flinched instinctively, your body betraying you with a subtle jerk, as if bracing for impact, suddenly aware of how small you felt under his scrutiny. Your hands clenched in your lap, fingers feeling like they might snap, as you tried to focus anywhere else.
You quickly averted your gaze, your eyes darting around the room, desperate for an escape.  Your eyes landed on Taehyung. He leaned back casually in his chair, one arm draped casually over the backrest, his long fingers drumming against the table in a slow, lazy rhythm. As soon as he felt your gaze, his lips curled into a subtle smirk. He raised his brows and blinked at you—once, deliberately.
You felt your face heat, and not from embarrassment, but frustration. God, all these men are insane. You clenched your fists tighter, nails digging into your palms to calm yourself.  You swore they all had some kind of mental dysfunction. Jungkook with his silent rage, Taehyung with his infuriating charm—maybe Jimin was the only sane one in this room besides you.
You sighed, shifting in your seat again, your foot tapping nervously against the floor. Mental health courses exist for a reason, you thought bitterly, your gaze flickering between Jungkook’s scowl and Taehyung’s irritating grin. Maybe they should sign up for all of them.
 As your thoughts spiralled, you dared a glance at him… again. Only to catch the faintest twitch of his brow—precise, calculated. It wasn’t just anger in his expression; it was something darker, something… personal? And it scared you, even if you’d never admit it.
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The moment you had been dreading finally came. The meeting was over.
Chairs screeched against the floor as everyone pushed back from the table. The sound grated on your nerves, but you rose from your seat anyway, hands trembling, legs wobbling as though they might give out beneath you.
 Your breath hitched, shallow and fast, a knot tightening in the pit of your stomach. Your heart pounded against your ribs, a viscous thud that made your chest ache.  Was this fear? Anxiety? You couldn’t tell anymore, but it clawed at you, gnawing at your insides like a predator circling its prey. You clenched your fists at your sides, trying to calm yourself, but the uneasy tremor in your chest refused to fade.
You risked another glance at him, keeping your gaze low, peeking through your lashes, a fleeting, nervous look that you immediately regretted.  His gaze locked onto you, soft yet paradoxically so sharp and firm, as if he could see right through you. The weight of his stare felt like a physical force pressing against your temple. You quickly looked away but it was too late.
 Your throat tightening as your heart slammed against your ribs. But it didn’t matter—his eyes stayed on you, burning holes into the side of your head like he could feel every breath you took.
There was something in the way he looked at you—a mix of curiosity and disdain that made your skin crawl, like you were an unsolved puzzle he hated having to deal with. It was as though he were studying you, dissecting you piece by piece. He looked at you like he couldn’t stand the thought of breathing the same air as you, as if being in the same room as you was a personal insult he couldn’t forgive. The corner of his mouth twitched, but not in kindness. A cold, predatory smirk curled his lips, one that made your blood run cold.
His soft brown boba eyes never left you.
And then he smiled. Cold, shrill, and entirely without warmth. A smile that dripped with obnoxiousness and delight, as though he was basking in your unease, feeding off it like it gave him some twisted satisfaction.
 You weren’t sure what scared you more—the venom in his gaze or the fact that you couldn’t look away, no matter how much you wanted to.
"Jungkook," Seokjin’s voice cut through the fragile silence like a gentle breeze, calm and soothing.
Jungkook’s head snapped toward Seokjin, and in an instant, everything about him changed.
 His shoulders, tense and rigid moments ago, relaxed, and his piercing glare melted away, replaced by something soft—gentle, even. His lips curved into a smile, one so sweet and genuine it left you completely dumfounded. You blinked, your mouth falling open in shock.
What the hell?
Your eyes widened,  as you stared at him, disbelief etched across your face.  How... how is this possible? This was the same man who had spent the entire meeting glaring daggers at you, exuding nothing but cold enmity. How could someone so rude, heartless, and obnoxiously infuriating smile like that? It didn’t make sense. It felt like a trick, some cruel joke the universe was playing on you. But there it was—his smile, warm and dazzling, as if he hadn’t spent the past hour glaring at you like you were dirt beneath his shoe.  And now? Now he looked like a painting come to life—a vision of warmth and beauty that shouldn’t belong to someone so cruel.
Your heart skipped a beat as you noticed the faint crinkle at the corners of his eyes, the way his smile softened his entire face. For a brief, fleeting moment, you found yourself mesmerized. A small, traitorous voice whispered in the back of your mind, He’s stunning. Beautiful. Perfect. And he was. That smile made him look like something out of a dream, his dark orbs soft and almost shy under the fluorescent light. He was cute too, you realized, in that infuriating way that made you want to scream. And hot? God, no one could dare bring up the concept of hotness without mentioning him.
How can someone so horrible look this… beautiful? The whisper in the back of your mind grew louder. This man is the definition of beauty.
Your cheeks flushed at the thought, and you shook your head quickly, breaking free from whatever spell he’d cast. No. Absolutely not. Don’t go there. You shook your head slightly, muttering a quiet mantra in your head. No, no, no. He’s an idiot. A rude, wicked bastard. Stop it. This is the same guy who’s made your day a living hell. Remember that. But it was hard to ignore the way your heart raced, or the strange flutter in your chest.
Jungkook didn’t respond to Jin right away. Instead, he moved. His long strides carried him around the table, each step smooth and deliberate, like he had all the time in the world. He stopped beside Jin, his posture instantly relaxed as Seokjin patted his shoulder in a way that felt natural, familiar.
Jin began to speak again, his lips parting as if to offer some kind of reassurance, but Jungkook cut him off before he could finish.
“Hyung! Let’s go to my office,” Jungkook said, his voice low and soft, almost tender. “We’ll talk there?” His voice was softer than you’d heard it, polite and calm. It was so different from the cold, harsh tone he had threw your way.
You blinked, staring at the two of them as your jaw threatened to hit the floor again. This can’t be real. Him? Soft? It was like watching a lion purr—a sight so contradictory it didn’t feel real. His tone was polite, his demeanour respectful—words you would never have associated with the man five minutes ago
Your eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, struggling to make sense of what you were seeing. Jungkook, the same man who had made your day a living hell, now stood before Seokjin like an obedient younger brother. It was unsettling, to say the least.
He wasn’t just polite—he was soft. Gentle, even.
You couldn’t stop staring. The way he tilted his head slightly when he spoke to Jin, the way his hands relaxed at his sides, no longer tense or clenched. It was so different from the version of him you knew, it almost felt like you were looking at a completely different person.
Your fingers twitched at your side, itching to pinch yourself. Maybe you were dreaming. Or hallucinating. Because the Jungkook you knew? He didn’t do soft. And yet, here he was, proving you wrong with every breath. The man who had made it his mission to make you feel two inches tall was suddenly soft and sweet with Seokjin? It didn’t make sense.
But the warmth in his expression lingered, and for reasons you couldn’t explain, it made your chest tighten. He was more than what you’d seen so far… wasn’t he?
Jin’s face lit up with a bright smile as he nodded at Jungkook. Turning away, he gave Namjoon and Taehyung a light nudge to follow him.
Namjoon responded with a quick nod, a broad grin spreading across his face as he moved to join them.
Taehyung, however, didn’t move. Instead, he slumped further into his chair, crossing his arms loosely and leaning back with a loud, exaggerated sigh. His lips pressed into a pout as he stared at the ceiling like the very idea of moving was a personal offense. It was no secret that Jeon Enterprises and Kim Enterprises were very close; both companies worked hand in hand. Even Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung went to the same school and college together. Their entire childhood and teenage years were spent together, and they were still together. All three of them were always in the news, and always together too. Jungkook knew Taehyung like the back of his hand along with his antics.
Namjoon glanced over, eyebrows furrowing in that “here we go again” way of his as he caught sight of Taehyung’s antics. “Seriously?” he asked, his tone half amused, half exasperated. His hands found their way to his hips, as he watched Taehyung flap his arms against the chair’s armrests.
Taehyung raised his hand in the air, palm out, as if announcing something grand. “No!”  he exclaimed, dragging the word out as he slowly pushed himself up from his seat, slowly, deliberately, making it as dramatic as possible before turning to Seokjin. “I won’t, hyung. I refuse.”
Seokjin didn’t react right away. He merely tilted his head, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, making it clear he wasn’t impressed. His lips pressed into a thin line as he let out a quiet sigh, shaking his head. The slight twitch at the corner of his mouth suggested he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes. His gaze shifted to Namjoon, wordlessly asking, Is this brat for real?
Namjoon only shrugged, an almost conspiratorial grin spreading across his face, as if he found the whole thing more entertaining than annoying. . They both turned their attention back to Taehyung, who didn’t care—if anything, their reactions only fueled his theatrics.  "NO," Taehyung declared, his voice firm, though his lips twitched with the hint of a smile.
“What now?” Seokjin asked finally, his voice calm, dangerously calm, but the words that tumbled out were tight. It wasn’t loud, but it didn’t need to be—it was the kind of calm that warned you not to push your luck. His piercing eyes bored into Taehyung, sharp and calculating, a reminder that behind the soft features was a mind you didn’t want to cross.  The sharp edge to it made you flinch, even though the question wasn’t directed at you.
The tension in the room shifted as even Taehyung hesitated for a second, his hand dropping to his side as he shifted under Jin’s obdurate stare. But within minutes he was back to his usual self.
You stood in the corner, half-forgotten, watching the scene unfold as if you were invisible. For a moment, it felt like you were intruding on a private family argument. They were so lost in their little world that none of them seemed to notice you lingering.  The ridiculousness of the scene was almost enough to make you forget the tension lingering in the air. Almost.
Seokjin’s calm demeanour held stable as he waited for Taehyung’s next move, the silence stretching just long enough to make even you hold your breath.
But Taehyung, being Taehyung, jabbed his finger in Jungkook's direction without even sparing him a glance. “He didn’t invite me! Just you, hyung. Just you,” he said, voice laced with mock hurt. Namjoon sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head, but a soft smile tugged at his lips. How could he stay mad? Taehyung was his little brother, and no matter how ridiculous the stunt, even when they bordered on absurd, he couldn’t help but find it endearing.
Taehyung’s arms crossed over his chest, his pout deepening as he stuck his bottom lip out, eyes narrowing as he watched Seokjin expectantly.
“An invitation? Really? You want an invitation?” Seokjin asked, his voice flat and deadpan, like he couldn’t believe he was even entertaining this ridiculous request. “What is this, a wedding? You want calligraphy and wax seals?”
Taehyung’s pout deepened, his gaze shifting dramatically to the side as he huffed. "Please would do," His voice a mix of childish demand and mock offense, his eyes flicking to Seokjin for any sign of approval.
 “A proper invite,” he huffed. “With manners. A simple please.”
Jimin couldn’t hold back his laugh, it came out bright and loud, like he’d just heard the funniest joke. "What?!" he snorted, stepping forward with an amused glint in his eyes.
 His laughter only grew as he straightened, wiping a fake tear from his eye before stepping toward Taehyung. “From Jungkook? Oh, Tae, you’re delusional.” he said, his voice a mockingly sweet coo.
Taehyung’s brow twitched, and he shoved Jimin away, glaring at him. “Don’t call me delusional,” he snapped. “And stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”
Jimin, still laughing, straightened up and threw an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders. “Oh, but it is, Tae-Tae,” he teased, dragging out the nickname with enough sugar to cause cavities.
Taehyung immediately shoved him off. “Don’t call me that!” he barked, though his glare wavered when Jimin stumbled backward, his laughter echoing in the room.
“Let’s be real,” Jimin said, wiping a fake tear from his eye. “Jungkook saying please? You’ve got better odds of him baking us cupcakes with love letters on top.”
Seokjin watched the entire scene unfold with a quiet sigh, his arms falling to his sides as he shook his head. “Bloody idiots,” he muttered under his breath, though his eyes betrayed the fondness he felt for them all.
Jungkook, who had been leaning against the wall with the air of someone far too cool to care, quirked an eyebrow. He didn’t say anything—he didn’t need to. The faint smirk on his lips said it all: “Not happening.”
“See?” Jimin said, gesturing toward Jungkook with a wide grin, as if the smirk was proof enough of what he’d been saying.
Taehyung huffed, rolling his eyes as he glared at Jungkook. "He’s insufferable." he muttered, his voice flat but dripping with monotony. He threw the words out with the kind of disinterest that only Taehyung could manage, as though even arguing was beneath him.
“Always has been,” Jimin agreed cheerfully, giving Taehyung a playful pat on the shoulder.
“You want an invite?” Seokjin deadpanned, cutting through the noise like a knife. “Fine. Jungkook, invite him.”
Jungkook didn’t even look up. “No.”
The room fell silent for a beat before Jimin broke into another fit of laughter. “I told you!” he howled, practically doubling over again. “That guy would rather eat his shoe than say the p-word.”
“Don’t encourage him,” Taehyung muttered, though the corner of his mouth twitched.
Jimin grinned, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “What’s the matter, Tae? Expecting something special from him? Maybe a song, a serenade, flowers—”
“Shut up,” Taehyung snapped, his face turning red as he swatted at Jimin His glare faltering just enough to reveal a flicker of amusement behind his annoyed facade.
Namjoon, trying to keep it together, clamped a hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking slightly with suppressed laughter. Seokjin did the same, clearing his throat to hide the grin threatening to break free. You couldn’t hold back either, a soft laugh slipping from your lips. The sound of it made everyone snap their heads in your direction, and you immediately went still.
“Oh, for the love of—” Taehyung groaned, standing up abruptly, the chair scraping loudly as he shoved it back. “This is ridiculous. Forget it. I’m not playing this game.”
“You’re still mad, aren’t you?” Jimin pressed, a laugh already escaping as he took a step back, clearly enjoying pushing Taehyung’s buttons.
“Like I care!” Taehyung shot back, his hands gesturing wildly before he turned on his heel. He glared at Jungkook one last time. “Who’d want to spend time with a jerk like him anyway?”
You couldn’t help but agree, nodding your head. It was truly, genuinely, sincerely, honestly the most truthful statement you'd heard all day. Even Jungkook chuckled at Taehyung's behaviour, and your gaze snapped back to Jungkook. You stared at him in disbelief; you never thought you'd see this man smiling. Yet here he was, standing in all his glory, proving you wrong.  Jungkook? Laughing? Relaxed? It was like spotting a unicorn in the wild. For the first time, he didn’t look like the insufferable boss you were growing to despise. He looked...earth-shatteringly handsome. You cursed under your breath, clenching your fists to keep from staring too long.
It made you feel like your brain was short-circuiting. Here was this asshole of a man, acting like he was above it all, and yet… he was smiling. It made him look almost… normal.
Why was he so ridiculously handsome? He was a jerk, a complete ass, yet... there was something about him. He was perfect boyfriend material, especially with those tattoos. You'd seen them in magazines, but you wouldn't mind seeing them in real life.
He was a jerk, but otherwise, he was perfect boyfriend material, especially with those tattoos. You'd seen them in magazines, but you wouldn't mind seeing them in real life.
You shook your head abruptly, as if physically trying to dislodge the thought. Nope. Absolutely not. Stop it.
Why were you thinking all this nonsense?
Because no matter how annoyingly perfect he looked in that moment—relaxed, smirking, and effortlessly magnetic—you knew better. He wasn’t your type. Not even close. You were way too smart to fall for someone as much of a piece of shit as he was.
As soon as your eyes met Jungkook’s, your heart dropped into your stomach.  Your legs wobbled, the ground beneath you suddenly felt unstable. You felt like the world had stopped.  The only thing keeping you upright was the edge of the table you leaned against, gripping it so tightly your knuckles turned white. It was like he had forgotten you were even there, but now that he remembered... you were in trouble.
Your thoughts were a mess, a rush of panic flooding your veins. Please, don't fire me. Please don't fire me, you repeated over and over in your mind. His stare made you feel like a sheep waiting to be devoured by a wolf—helpless and small.
Jungkook opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Jimin’s voice cut through, loud but tensed. "Why are you still standing here?" he asked, his eyes darting nervously between you and Jungkook. "I'm sure you have work to do."
You nodded quickly, too quickly, your head bobbing furiously in agreement.
“What work, Jimin?” Jungkook snapped, his voice low and brimming with frustration. “She’s fired,” he declared, sending a shiver down your spine. His words felt like a physical blow, the weight of them crushing your chest. You could barely hear the rest of his sentence as panic drowned out everything else—I've had enough of her…
What to do now?
Cry, a voice whispered in the back of your head.
Jimin, however, wasn’t having any of it. “Enough, Jungkook!” he shot back, his voice hard and commanding. The sharpness in Jimin’s words was like a shield between you and Jungkook’s anger. You could see the way Jungkook’s expression shifted—he was still seething, but Jimin left no room for argument.
“She isn’t fired, and it’s final,” Jimin said. You could see the muscles in his jaw twitching as he tried to control his temper.
Jungkook opened his mouth to retort, but Jimin cut him off with a simple wave of his hand, motioning for you to leave. You didn’t need to be told twice. You bolted from the conference room, not even daring to look back. You weren’t sure whether to be more terrified of Jungkook or grateful to Jimin. You knew you’d messed up—it was your fault—but Jimin had chosen to take your side, and you couldn’t understand why.
You sprinted down the hall toward the elevator. Your hands trembled as you jabbed—no, banged—the elevator button for the 26th floor. The wait felt agonizingly long.
When the elevator finally dinged open, you stumbled out, half-running to your desk. Collapsing into your chair, you let out a shaky breath and buried your face in your arms on the desk. Your head fell onto your desk with a loud thud.
What had just happened?
God, your first day almost became your last.
You took a deep, steadying breath and pushed yourself upright, gripping the edge of your desk to ground yourself. This isn’t the time to wallow, you thought, brushing your hair back from your face with trembling fingers. You couldn’t afford to crumble now.
You can’t mess up again, you reminded yourself, wiping a hand over your face. Jimin might’ve saved you today, but luck won’t always be there neither… he. Luck was fleeting. It wasn’t something you trusted. Not with your history. You let out a dry laugh under your breath—luck and you were like oil and water. You were the ultimate symbol of bad luck, and that delightfully beautiful director of Jeon Enterprises had simply taken pity on you. Yes, it wasn’t luck. It was Jimin’s mercy, and you couldn’t count on it happening twice. Especially not when your boss—the arrogant bastard himself—was likely already sharpening his knives for round two.
The thought of Jungkook—his dark, piercing gaze—still lingered in your mind, but you forced yourself to focus. He was a devil, no doubt, and you... you were just the unlucky fool who happened to cross his path.
You couldn't afford to mess up again. Play it safe, you told yourself. Do your job right and keep your head down. You couldn’t give him another reason to unleash his wrath.
Your eyes fell to the stack of files in front of you, and a sinking feeling hit you hard in the stomach. The pile seemed to grow taller with each breath you took. The next meeting was only thirty minutes away
You glanced at the files scattered across your desk. Focus, you reminded yourself, slapping your cheeks lightly to snap out of it. The next meeting was in thirty minutes, and you didn’t have the luxury of time to curse your misfortune or that insufferable man.
Your eyes darted over the papers, frustration bubbling up as you began sifting through them. The previous secretary—whoever they were—had left behind a tangled mess. A spectacularly awful mess.
 How was this even possible?
You could almost feel your blood pressure rise as you examined the glaring errors.  The deadlines were completely out of sync with the client’s expectations, the budget allocations were so far off it was laughable, and one section even referenced an entirely different project altogether. If this wasn’t fixed in time for the meeting, it would be a complete disaster, and you were the one who’d have to face the consequences.
“This is a joke,” you muttered. You grabbed a pen, tapping it furiously against the table as your brain raced to come up with a plan.
Half an hour. That’s all you had to fix this disaster before you had to present it to a room full of people, including him.
"Fuck you! Whoever you are." you muttered under your breath, pushing your sleeves up, ignoring the beads of sweat forming on your forehead. Get it together, you scolded yourself. “This isn’t rocket science.” Your voice cracked slightly as you muttered the words aloud, as if hearing them would calm the storm raging inside you.
You grabbed the laptop, pulling up emails and client notes to cross-check the project details. The keyboard clacked furiously under your hands. Your brows furrowed in concentration, your lips pressed into a tight line. You clicked open the soft copy of the file, eyes scanning the screen quickly.
You stole a glance at the clock, and your heart nearly stopped. Twenty minutes left. Fuck.
The dull throb behind your temples was growing each passing minute, but you didn’t have the luxury to slow down. Tears? Not an option. You didn’t have time for that. Not when your whole career was teetering on the edge of disaster.
Get through the day without Jungkook turning you into his next verbal target.
 The mistakes were too obvious to miss, too dangerous to ignore. If the client saw these errors, it wasn’t just your job on the line—it was Jeon Enterprises' reputation. And that would mean your boss, Jungkook, would tear you apart, slowly and painfully.
 what have you done to deserve this.
Your fingers slammed against the keyboard as you raced through the sections. The section referencing the wrong project? Gone, replaced with the right one. The mismatched deadlines? Adjusted. The budget allocations that didn’t even make sense? Rewritten, recalculated, and double-checked.
You needed to print the corrected version. Your hands trembled as you stared at the screen, unsure of where to even begin this process. This wasn’t just a small mistake anymore—it felt like the whole day was falling apart in real time. You stared at the screen with mounting dread. Print. Where?
You slapped the print button, watching as the computer confirmed that it was printing, but your brain was far from settled. Printer? Where’s the damn printer? Your heart pounded as you stood, snatching up your blazer and dashing out of your office.
The hallway felt endless as you looked down the corridor. You felt a wave of frustration, the kind you’d never experienced before. You could have screamed, a sound that would shake the walls, but you couldn’t. Instead, you forced a deep breath through your nose and tried to calm yourself.
Finally, you spotted the printer at the end of the hall—right by the breakroom, its small glowing light blinking. It should have been a simple solution, but when you saw the machine, all you felt was pure, hot rage. Why is it always this difficult?
Why did it feel like everything was against you today?
Because of course, it jammed halfway through. Your fingers gripped the edge of the counter as you leaned down, yanking at the paper slot with all your might. The printer groaned, then jammed, and you let out an angry sound that came out as a strangled groan.
“Come on, you stupid thing—work!” you hissed, muttering curses that seemed to make you feel worse. Stupid thing!
You slammed the print button again, your fingers stabbing at the machine. Finally, the printer whirred, clicked, and then began its slow, steady rhythm. You let out a shaky breath, pressing your hand against your forehead to steady the dizziness threatening the edges of your focus.
Finally, the documents started coming out. You grabbed them. You ran your hands over the pages, smoothing them down compulsively as though that would make them more trustworthy. You clutched it like it was your lifeline. Not perfect, but it'll have to do. Once back in your cabin, you shoved the papers into a folder, your chest still tight.
The clock on the wall caught your attention.
Ten minutes left.
 You could barely breathe as you walked out of your office, your feet moving almost on autopilot. In no time, you found yourself standing in front of Jungkook’s office.
You knocked. Once. Twice. And then… you waited.
 You closed your eyes briefly, took a steadying breath. You bit your lip, and raised your hand to knock thrice.
"Come in!" Jungkook’s voice rang out, gruff and loud, cutting through the air. You hesitated for a second before pushing the door open, and every head in the room snapped toward you. You stepped inside, your heart racing as you greeted them with a polite but fake smile, trying your best to keep it together. Only Jimin smiled back. The others... they just stared, like you were some strange creature. Jin and Namjoon looked shocked—why? What was going on? And then there was Taehyung, his eyes wide with what could only be described as disbelief.
Jimin spoke first, his voice light and effortless, and you couldn't help but thank your lucky stars—or maybe it was just Jimin being Jimin. “You need something?”
You gave a short nod and turned to face Jungkook. His eyes narrowed, his arms crossing over his chest, his whole posture screaming annoyance.  His jaw was clenched so tight it seemed like he might snap any second. You swallowed hard, trying not to show how much his stare rattled you.
"Yeah. I was merely here to remind Mr. Jeon that the meeting starts in… like ten—no, seven minutes now," you managed to say, your voice wavering just a little as you spoke. Your hands were clenched at your sides, and you forced yourself not to fidget.
You stole a quick glance around the room. Jin and Namjoon had gone back to their own conversations, but Taehyung was still staring at you, mouth slightly open like he couldn't believe you were standing there. Jungkook still hadn’t said anything, his eyes still boring into you.
"Thank you," Jimin said, his smile soft and genuine. "He’ll be there."
You nodded once, trying not to let your relief show too much. You gave a quick, polite bow of your head, then turned, making your way to the door, your steps hurried but controlled. As you left the room, you couldn’t help but think—Jimin was an angel, working for a devil. You weren’t sure what you would’ve done without him today.
As you walked out of his cabin, you caught the faintest sound of Taehyung’s voice drifting behind you.
“Damn, dude! She’s something. She must be… to get you this worked up. Wow! I loved it.”
You didn’t linger to hear the rest, though. It was like your feet were moving faster than your brain, the urgency propelling you back to your cabin. You sprinted to your desk, your hands shaking as you skimmed through the pages one final time. You stapled them together. You had to present this with confidence, one mistake and Jungkook would tear you apart.
Five minutes left.
“You’ve got this. Just fake it. Fake it all the way.”
Your heels clicked sharply against the marble floors as you made your way to the conference room. Your grip on the file tightened, your knuckles white. When you reached the door. With a firm push, you stepped inside.
Walking to the table, you laid down the stack of updated project files, replacing the older copies. Once every seat had the corrected file, you finally slid into your chair. The leather seat creaked softly as you sank into it, and you folded your hands tightly in your lap to steady them. You darted a glance at the door, waiting for everyone's but specially Jungkook’s inevitable arrival. You flipped through the files for what felt like the hundredth time. The numbers blurred slightly before your eyes, but you forced yourself to focus.
The sharp sound of the door opening made your head snap up. Jungkook walked in with the same air of authority that always seemed to announce his presence before he even spoke. His eyes locked onto you, narrowing instantly, and his jaw clenched so tight you swore you heard his teeth grind.
You stifled a sigh, biting the inside of your cheek to keep your face neutral. What now? You wondered bitterly, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. Jungkook didn’t just dislike you—he hated you—like, deep, unrelenting hatred. For what reason? Who knew. And frankly, you didn’t care.  If you could, you would’ve told him to take his reasons, his anger, and his goddamn temper tantrums and shove them up his perfectly tailored ass, but you knew that wouldn’t help you keep your job.
He moved around the room with precision, as he made his way to his seat. His attention was fixed on you, like you were some annoying fly he wanted to swat. You straightened in your chair. He dropped into his chair with an air of casual authority and grace of someone far too confident for their own good.
For a moment, your traitorous thoughts drifted. He was handsome—annoyingly so. Sharp jawline, paradoxically piercing boba eyes, and a frame that looked like it was carved by a sculptor. But his attitude? That was enough to ruin the whole package. If only his personality matched his looks. If only he wasn’t such a pompous, insufferable jerk. Instead of charm, he had an ego the size of the goddamn building. If he had even an ounce of kindness or respect to him, he would’ve been perfect. But no, instead he walked with the kind of arrogance that could suffocate a room, his back rigid and his posture as stiff as the stick lodged firmly up his ass.
You shook the thought from your head. He wasn’t worth your time.
The door opened again, and this time it was the clients. Jungkook stood, but just barely.
He simply stood halfway and gave a curt nod that was so half-hearted you wondered if it hurt his pride to be polite. God forbid Mr. Perfect lower himself to basic manners. His expression didn’t change—stoic and unbothered—while yours shifted into a polite mask. Maybe you were expecting too much. Maybe you were the problem. You slid your chair closer to the table and sat down next to him. You offered the clients a small smile, hoping to compensate for Jungkook’s complete lack of warmth.
But his eyes. God, his eyes. They didn’t stray far from you.
You placed the documents in front of him. You kept your gaze fixed on the table, careful not to meet his boba eyes. “Here! Mr. Jeon,” you whispered, your voice as even and professional as you could manage. The last thing you wanted was to give him even an inch to criticize you.
Before you could pull your hand back, his fingers closed around the file. His hand was warm—too warm—and for just a moment, your cold, dainty fingers brushed against his. The warmth of his hand lingered on yours, and you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. Your body felt paralyzed, shocked, maybe even mesmerized by the sensation.  You couldn’t pull away—not because you didn’t want to, but because you physically couldn’t.
Jungkook’s hand retreated first, leaving your fingers tingling. You leaned back in your chair, clearing your throat as heat crept up your neck. You turned your attention to the clients, offering a polite smile. They exchanged a few glances, their expressions unreadable.
Why are they looking at me like that?
Before you could figure it out, Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence, quiet and low. "Why are you making that face?"
You turned toward him, startled. “Huh?”
He didn’t look at you, his gaze fixed on the papers in front of him as he leaned back in his seat. His voice was soft, like a whisper, but it hit you like a punch to the gut.
“You look like you’re constipating,” he said, his tone casual, smooth, utterly calm—and utterly cruel and casual, as though commenting on the weather.
Your face fell. What did he just say? Your mouth fell open slightly in horror, heat rushing to your face. He did not just say that. You glared at the side of his face, imagining all the ways you could strangle him with the tie he wore so smugly. Murder was illegal, but maybe, just maybe, you could make an exception.
 Ignore him. He’s not worth it or… should you just strangle him? Oh, you wanted to strangle him. No, you needed to strangle him. Who even says that? You huffed, straightening in your seat and glaring at the file in front of you.
Jungkook flipped open the folder, his sharp eyes scanning the documents.
And then it happened—a faint smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, so subtle you almost missed it. “Let’s begin,” he said smoothly, finally turning his attention to the clients. But just before he did, his gaze flicked to you, brief but searing.
The meeting began.
The meeting dragged on. Your hand ached from jotting down notes, your fingers stiff as they moved across the page. All you could think about was how Jungkook managed to handle these clients—their demands were endless, their standards sky-high. Jungkook, somehow, handled their lofty standards with an ease that almost infuriated you. How could someone so insufferable be so damn good at this? You, however, were drained. Mentally, physically, emotionally. All you wanted was to go home, curl up, and forget this entire ordeal. But the clients showed no signs of slowing, so neither could you. You scribbled furiously, keeping up with the endless stream of requests and comments, your hand cramping around the pen. Every now and then, you stole glances at the clock, silently begging for it all to end.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the meeting came to an end.
 The clients rose, shaking Jungkook’s hand with smiles that didn’t quite reach their eyes. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Jeon,” one of them said, their tone oozing professionalism. Then their gaze flicked to you, offering a curt nod—no words, no acknowledgment of your work. You swallowed the frustration bubbling up in your chest and nodded back, forcing a tight-lipped smile. Typical. You bit the inside of your cheek, swallowing the bitter taste of resentment as they exited the room. Well, women in corporate field.
The door clicked shut, leaving you alone with Jungkook. Your mind was hyper-aware of his presence.
He was leaning back, the picture of ease, his chair swinging slightly from left to right. His left leg rested over his right, one arm draped casually across the armrest. He didn’t speak, didn’t make a sound, but the intensity of his stare was enough. You didn’t dare look up. Not after what had happened earlier. Not after what he said earlier.
You stole a glance, his tie had loosened slightly, the top button of his shirt undone. When he did that? He looked like he owned the entire world, and the infuriating thing was—he probably did.
You remembered what you thought while applying for this job: How hard could it be to work for him?
You’d found out the hard way, within mere hours.
Jeon Jungkook wasn’t just hard to work for—he was impossible. A devil in designer suits. A man who had no mercy and no patience, especially not for someone like you. Your first day had made that abundantly clear in the worst way possible.
Jeon Jungkook wasn’t someone to take lightly. He was a storm you hadn’t prepared for, and it was already threatening to swallow you whole.
You pushed the glass door open, ready to step out, but then you heard it—his voice, loud and clear.
"Pebble!"
You froze. Slowly, you turned around, almost colliding with the door in the process. His eyes locked onto yours, and a subtle smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. It wasn’t the friendly kind—it was something else. Something that made you feel both irritated and, disturbingly, giddy.
"What?" you muttered, your voice low and unsure. You weren't able to understand why you gripped it ever so tightly.
He stood from his chair, rising with an ease that felt effortless, his hands casually buried in his pockets. His movements were smooth, deliberate, as if he had all the time in the world to examine you. He was far too good-looking for your sanity, far too composed, far too everything.
 Fuck him, and fuck your good sense.
What was this? Why were you feeling so fragile in front of him? You didn’t have time to figure it out because, in three long strides, he was standing in front of you, so close that the scent of his cologne wrapped around you.  His eyes were still on you, as if he were studying you—no, devouring you with just a glance. You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. And that, right there, made you even more furious.
Is this guy stupid? you wondered. What was the point of staring like that? It felt intrusive, unnerving, yet somehow, you couldn’t tear your own gaze away.
 Staring, in your book, was the hallmark of cheap behaviour, reserved for people with no manners or boundaries. But he somehow pulled it off, with that smirk and those features and that way he seemed to have everything in the world under control. As if his ridiculous good looks gave him a free pass.
"Coffee. In my office."
"Huh?" was all you could manage, your voice barely above a whisper, still unsure of what was happening.
He tsked, shaking his head like you were hopeless. “You heard me. Black. No sugar. Ms…” he trailed off, his brow furrowing slightly.
Your eyes widened in realization. He didn’t know your name. Or worse—he hadn’t even tried to know it until now. Your throat tightened, and you opened your mouth, about to respond, but before a single word could leave your lips, he finished with,
"Pebble."
Your mouth hung open, as you watched him leave.
Pebble.
He had just called you Pebble.
You stood there, staring, stunned, unable to believe what just happened.
He was the most disrespectful, irritating, unbearable person you had ever met.
The anger built up in you until you couldn’t stand still anymore. You stomped your foot hard against the ground.
You would make him regret this.
Oh, you absolutely would.
With a resigned sigh, you turned toward the elevator, dragging your feet. At least you now knew where the coffee machine was—down at the far end of the floor. Great. More walking. You hadn’t even done this much cardio in the past year, let alone in a single day. No wonder all the women here looked so fit—they practically lived on their feet.
When you reached the elevator, you noticed him—Jungkook—already stepping into it. Your pace slowed instinctively. No way were you getting in that elevator with him, even for a single second. He wouldn’t stop the elevator for you anyway—he was too much of a jerk to care.
But when had life ever gone according to your plans?
Before you could change direction, you heard the sound of the doors closing and sliding back open.
Oh, hell no. Your body tensed. You didn't want to step in there with him, but you didn’t have a choice. You dragged your feet reluctantly. The annoyance in his eyes deepened, and a muscle in his jaw twitched, like he was already regretting his decision to wait for you.
Finally, you reached the door.
“Get fucking in, woman.”
You didn’t need to be told twice. You stepped inside, muttering curses in your head, and the doors slid shut with a soft ding.
 You didn’t dare move, didn’t dare look at him, but you could feel his gaze lingering on you, like he was trying to figure you out or, worse, punish you for existing.
Maybe he was pissed.
And you? You couldn’t decide if you hated him more in this moment or if you just wanted to get out of this damn elevator as quickly as possible.
“I thought you had work here,” he said, his tone casual.
“Huh?” you managed, surprised.
He shook his head, as if you were already the most frustrating thing he’d encountered that day.
“Do you know anything else besides ‘huh?’”
You opened your mouth to retort, but he didn’t wait. “I said, I thought you had work here.”
“What work?” you snapped. His eyes flared. But the bastard smirked, like he’d been expecting this reaction.
“What meeting do we have next, Pebble?” His voice was smooth, almost playful.
Your stomach dropped. Pebble. He had just said it again. But. You froze. His words lingered in your mind like a bad omen, but all that filled your head was white noise. The name of the company… where was it? Shit.
He chuckled, the sound low and smooth, just to make sure you knew how badly you’d messed up. “You need to collect some files from marketing and sales team. You forgot.”
The damn files. I forgot? You swallowed hard, glancing around the elevator as if the walls could give you an answer.
“What are you trying to do—break the glass and jump into the sales and marketing floor?” he said, his tone as bored as his expression. His words felt cruel, but you knew there was a bite of truth to them.
You shook your head, cheeks heating as you mentally berated yourself. You could feel the heat creeping up your neck, embarrassed and annoyed. More walking. That’s all you could think about now.
The elevator doors opened, and Jungkook stepped out first. He glanced up at you, raising an eyebrow, and for a split second, you thought—just maybe—he might say something remotely decent. But no, that was far too much to hope for. His lips curled into that damn smirk as he turned away and said, “Coffee. On my desk. In five minutes.”
Before you could even respond, he turned around and walked away.
You stepped out of the elevator, its door closing behind you. You let out a frustrated exhale. . God, I hate him. You made your way to the coffee machine. You prepared the coffee just like he’d ordered, and even the smell made your stomach churn. The bitterness of it matched the bitterness radiating from him.  No wonder he was always so damn miserable. A person who drank this much bitter coffee could only have a bitter heart.
You walked down the hall to his office. The door was slightly ajar, and you knocked softly, holding the cup in your hands.
“Come in,” he barked again from inside.
You pushed the door open and stepped inside, placing the coffee on his desk. He was sitting at his desk, back straight, his sharp features focused on his laptop. The desk was neat, pristine, every paper and pen in its place, a stark contrast to the chaos on your desk.
“Here, Mr. Jeon,” you said, your voice tight with forced politeness.
He didn’t even look at you. Instead, he grabbed the cup, bringing it to his lips like it was the most important thing in the world. His eyes fluttered closed as he took the first sip, and you watched in disbelief as he sighed deeply, as though he’d just tasted heaven.
“Good,” he muttered, but it wasn’t directed at you—it was all about the coffee. Your stomach turned at the absurdity of it. He didn’t even acknowledge the fact that you’d stood there, prepared it, and handed it to him.
“Send Jimin in my office. Now, leave,” he demanded, his voice flat, as if he were speaking to a wall, not a person.
 Every inch of you wanted to pull his hair out, to throw something across his perfectly organized desk. Instead, you nodded stiffly.
“Sure, Mr. Jeon,” you said, forcing the words past your clenched teeth before turning on your heel and leaving.
Once outside, the first thing you did was head straight for Jimin, who was at his desk, buried in papers. His workspace was cluttered with post-its, notes, and scribbles. His eyes lifted when you approached, and though his face showed signs of being busy, his greeting was polite as ever.
“What brings you here, Ms. …,” he began, with a soft smile.
“Mr. Jeon wants you in his office,” you replied, keeping it brief. You didn't have the energy to engage in any more small talk.
"Why?" Jimin asked, as he stood up, closing the file in his hands and sliding his blazer on with a sharp tug. You just shrugged. Jimin gave a small nod.
“Alright,” he said, adjusting his blazer. His tone indicated he didn’t mind being interrupted. “I’ll head in there.” You watched as he walked toward the hallway.
You followed your own path toward the marketing department first. You handed over the files, your hands sore from too much writing, before heading toward the sales department. The constant movement was starting to wear you down, but you couldn’t let it show. You did the same at the sales department, before finally making your way back to your office, your feet aching more than ever. This is going to be a long day, you thought, pressing a hand to your lower back as you settled into your chair.
Before you could catch a break, the clock ticked, signaling that it was time for the next meeting. You picked yourself up again, shoulders sore and heavy, and made your way back toward Jungkook’s office.
You knocked on the door before stepping in, your hand pressing into the wood with slightly trembling fingers. This time Jimin was in there with him, seated on the couch. He looked agitated—hands running through his hair as he exchanged words with Jungkook.
You hesitated at the threshold. You didn’t want to intrude on their conversation. You quickly turned on your heel, shaking your head as you backed out. These guys were insane.
You closed the door behind you with a gentle push and let out a shaky exhale. Your hands gripped your notebook tightly as you walked back toward the hallway.
The next meetings were a blur. For reasons you couldn’t quite explain, you found yourself relieved when Jungkook skipped every other meeting for the day. He didn't show up, and Jimin took over. The clients didn’t seem to mind the change, and in fact, it made things easier. Jimin’s presence was soothing.  His voice was soft, his smile was kind. He spoke in careful sentences, his calm composure like a reassuring presence. Working with him was smoother, quieter—lovelier, even. He made the chaos of the day seem more manageable, and you found yourself wishing you found yourself wishing you could work for Jimin, just him.
But you quickly shut that thought down. That wasn’t possible, not when you were stuck in this job, tied to Jungkook. No matter how much you hated it, you had to stick around. It was unviable to leave, even though every part of you screamed for the chance to escape. You have to stick around him.
As the last meeting came to an end, you gathered the files and followed Jimin out of the conference room. He took the files from your hands. You were thankful for his help, but the lingering feeling of being under the spotlight didn’t fade. You hated the attention, and of course, everyone would stare. Having the director of the company himself helping you with your work was far too big of a deal. The eyes of all the female employees had burned into you as you walked out. You couldn’t shake the sense of discomfort, and it only worsened as you stepped into the elevator with Jimin.
"Mr. Park, you really don’t have to do this," you said, offering a shy smile as the elevator doors slid shut behind you.
Jimin, however, seemed unfazed. He gave a lazy smile, his voice light as he answered. "Oh, I’m not doing it for you." Jimin leaned casually against the wall, eyes scanning the floor numbers as they lit up.
You blinked, confused, your brows knitting together. "What’s that supposed to mean?"
He turned his head, flashing you a mischievous grin. "It’s more for me, really."
Your frown deepened. "For you?" You couldn’t hide your confusion, but Jimin just chuckled, clearly entertained by your reaction.
"You see," he began, shifting slightly to face you fully. His eyes sparkled with a playful yet sincere gleam. "I come from old money. I just can't stand the idea of a woman doing something like that when I’m around. Makes me feel like I’m failing somewhere. I’ve got this fragile ego, you know?" His voice was light, teasing, but his smile softened as he continued. "It just feels better to help out. Plus, it’s... good manners."
"Yeah?" You asked, tilting your head slightly, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to make sense of his words. The slight smirk tugging at his lips told you he knew you were lost but didn’t care enough to explain. Instead, he only shrugged nonchalantly, his expression  so casual it almost felt dismissive.
Before you could respond further, the elevator dinged softly, and the doors slid open. Jimin stepped out first. You followed behind as you adjusted your grip on the files. He led the way to your cabin, his presence drawing a few curious glances from colleagues. You felt those stares prickling at your back again, but Jimin seemed entirely unbothered. He walked you to your cabin, while you struggled to keep up with his pace. When he finally reached your desk, he placed the stack of five thick files down with practiced ease, brushing invisible dust off his hands like it was no big deal.
"All set. Anything else you need before I head out?" he asked, his voice light as he straightened his blazer.
Thanks again, Mr. Park," you said, shaking your head.
Jimin gave a small nod in return, stepping back. Just as he turned to leave, he glanced over his shoulder. "Take care, pretty," he said, his tone casual, yet the words felt deliberate.
Your hands froze mid-motion as your head snapped up, eyes widening in surprise. Heat rushed to your face, and you felt the unmistakable blush spreading across your cheeks like wildfire. You stared at the empty doorway where Jimin had disappeared, his words echoing in your mind.
"What the hell," you muttered under your breath. Forcing yourself to focus, you picked up the files, flipping through the pages with renewed determination. It was time to finish up for the day, but not before ensuring everything was in order for tomorrow. Your fingers worked quickly, your eyes scanning schedules and notes, the lingering warmth on your cheeks refusing to fade completely.
When you finally finished your work, you grabbed the file Jungkook had instructed you to complete and headed to his office. As you approached, you noticed the door slightly ajar. Through the small gap, you could see Jimin sitting in one of the chairs in front of Jungkook’s desk. Jungkook, on the other hand, sat with his brows furrowed in a way that seemed permanently etched into his face. It was a wonder Jimin didn’t crack under the weight of his perpetual grimace. If he wasn’t so ridiculously good-looking, you were certain his demeanour would’ve been a massive letdown.
"Are you even human?" Jimin's voice rose, his tone laced with disbelief as he leaned forward, his palms slapping against the desk with a dull thud. His lips pressed tightly together. His words seemed to hit like a quiet plea, but Jungkook didn’t seem to care. His eyes stayed glued to his file as he flipped the pages.
"I am dying over here. I am that tired and you are one of the reasons behind it. Don’t you dare ignore me, Jeon Jungkook!" Jimin continued, his voice a mixture of disbelief and frustration. His words grew louder as he leaned back in his chair, throwing his hands up in the air, as if trying to physically puncture Jungkook’s indifference.
"Huh?" Jungkook’s voice was flat, almost absent, as he gave Jimin just a single glance, his eyes flickering for a mere millisecond before he turned back to the file in his hands. He gave a distracted nod, not sparing Jimin much more attention.
Jimin’s jaw dropped slightly, his annoyance reaching a boiling point. "Seriously!" he exclaimed. His fingers curled into loose fists as he leaned back, pacing a step before planting his hands on his hips. "You made me handle all your meetings and deal with my own workload. I’ve been running around like a headless chicken while you sit here, all cozy with your stupid papers! Do you not have any regard—"
"You're right," Jungkook said, his voice steady and matter-of-fact, cutting off Jimin’s rambling mid-sentence. He slowly closed the file in front of him and placed it neatly to the side. This time, he leaned back in his chair, his posture loosening slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. His dark, boba eyes locked on Jimin’s. "I am sorry, hyung. You're always picking up the slack for me. I don't say it enough, but… I’m really grateful. I couldn’t do this without you."
Jimin froze for a moment, his brow furrowing as he eyed Jungkook suspiciously. His eyes narrowed, and he tilted his head, studying Jungkook as if he had just grown a second head. "Oh? What’s wrong with you?" he asked, dragging the words out slowly. He leaned forward in his chair, elbows digging into the edge of Jungkook's desk. "Show me your head. You punk, I’m sure you hit it somewhere."
Jimin shot up from his seat and lunged across the desk with inflated urgency, his hand reaching for Jungkook's head like a concerned but overly dramatic mother.
"Jimin-shi!" Jungkook exclaimed, his voice rising in protest as he swatted at Jimin’s hands. He grabbed Jimin’s wrists, prying them away from his head. His brows knitted together as he leaned back further in his chair, out of reach, glaring at Jimin. "I swear, I’ll kill you."
"There you are," Jimin said, a grin spreading across his face as he let out a sigh. He flopped back into his chair, dramatically wiping his brow as if the ordeal had been exhausting. "I was worried for nothing. Glad to see the real  grumpy, homicidal self's still here."
Before they could exchange any more words, you finally stepped forward, your knuckles rapping lightly on the doorframe.
Knock, knock.
The sound broke through, causing both their heads to snap in your direction.
For a moment, you felt rooted to the spot, like a deer caught in headlights. You tightened your grip on the file in your hands, suddenly hyper-aware of how out of place you felt. Clearing your throat, you finally stepped inside. "Sorry to interrupt," you said.
Jimin’s lips curved into a faint smile, and he tilted his head, gesturing toward the file. "It’s fine. Come in. Looks like someone’s got work to do, unlike us," he teased, his tone light.
You tried your best to force a smile onto your face—a polite, controlled, and friendly expression—but as your eyes met his. Your throat felt like it had closed up, your voice thin and wobbly. Why did he make you so nervous? Yes, he was intimidating. Yes, you’d dealt with difficult bosses before. But there was something about him—something that felt wrong, a shrill, intense warning in the back of your mind, like a distant alarm telling you danger was near.
Your heels clicked softly against the floor as you passed Jimin’s chair. He was sitting casually, his hands clasped behind his head, completely at ease as he looked over at you. You stopped beside Jungkook's desk, just behind where Jimin was sitting. "Mr. Jeon, I just finished the tasks you assigned." Your voice was soft but steady as you extended the file toward him. You forced yourself to meet his gaze, though it felt like staring into the eye of the devil. "Here’s the file. I’m leaving now, so I was wondering if there’s anything else you need before I go?"
Jungkook didn’t respond right away. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, slowly and precisely. His sharp gaze scanned your face, lingering on your forced smile before sliding down to the file you’d placed on his desk. A smirk curled at the corners of his lips, and his eyes—soft and doe-like at first glance—betrayed a sharp, predatory glint. "Actually," he drawled, his voice carried an edge that made your pulse quicken. He gestured lazily toward the towering stack of files on the far corner of his desk. "I do need something."
Your eyes widened as they darted to the stack, a silent gasp catching in your throat. The files seemed endless. You swallowed hard, glancing back at him, but his expression was unreadable. You couldn’t decide if you were more nervous or outright afraid of what was coming next. "See those files?" he continued, tilting his head slightly, his tone casual as if he were commenting on the weather. "I need them reviewed and sorted by tomorrow."
And you just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out whether you had a choice, or if you were already drowning. Tomorrow? That was impossible. You turned back to Jungkook, hoping to find some hint that he was joking, but his expression was calm and unyielding, like carved stone.
"I…" you began, but your voice faltered.
"Something wrong?" Jungkook asked, tilting his head slightly as if daring you to argue.
It was your first day, and you couldn’t understand what went wrong. You’d always thought Jungkook was handsome, admired him from the glossy pages of magazines and the distant buzz of news. You'd been excited, so excited to work for the most wanted bachelor in the continent. But now? Now, it wasn’t going as planned.
Too much work. Too much. How could anyone be expected to handle this much work? You thought you could handle challenges, but this? This felt impossible. This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. You’d probably have to sell your soul to some demon and even then, it still wouldn’t feel enough. You couldn’t do this. You shouldn’t have to do this. But the thought of giving up? That wasn’t even an option. You wanted to scream. No. You didn't want to scream you wanted to kick him where the sun doesn't shine.
"To-tomorrow," you stammered, barely able to believe the words coming out of your mouth. You were close to snapping, but something in his gaze made you hesitate.
"Impossible?" Jungkook interrupted, his voice a low, smooth. His eyes locked on yours, the warmth in them replaced with ice. "I’m not interested in hearing any excuses. You need to understand where and for who you’re working. Workload is a usual thing here. You either do it or resign. It’s up to you. Nobody’s begging you to stay."
The words were harsh. There was no softness to them, no room for debate, no compromise. He wanted you to know that you had no power here. His small, smug smile confirmed it—a clear taunt, a game to him, and you could feel it deep in your bones. He wasn’t just being cold. No, he enjoyed this. He was tormenting you, and you knew it. He was such a sadistic being.
"Understood," you said, the words coming out of your mouth with a firmness that surprised even you.
You turned your back to him and grabbed the stack of files from where they were carelessly left. The moment you lifted them, you knew this was going to be hell. It was heavy—too heavy—far heavier than you’d expected. Your arms shook as you struggled to balance them. You almost stumbled under the sheer force of it, but you steadied yourself.
You bit your lip, fighting back the urge to ask Jimin for help. You glanced toward him, only to find that he and Jungkook were locked in a silent staring match, their gazes locked like two wolves sizing each other up.  Jimin looked like he was about to explode. You couldn’t drag him into this. He already looked like he was walking a thin line, and you didn’t want to add to the fire. Besides, Jimin looked angry enough already.
So, you started walking.
You struggled your way out of his office. Your legs wobbled under the weight, and you nearly stumbled into the doorframe as you tried to maintain your balance. You wanted to scream. You hated him. You hated everything about this. Him. His smug smile. His icy tone. His ridiculous expectations. In truth, you’d never felt this much resentment toward anyone. Not even your previous bosses had managed to push you this far. But Jungkook? He was something else entirely. A walking nightmare wrapped in a handsome package, and you were stuck in it.
The moment you stepped into your office, you slammed the door behind you. You were done. You were going home. You couldn’t wait to get out of here. You grabbed your bag and purse. You cursed under your breath, knowing you couldn’t leave without grabbing those files too. There was no way you were going to spend another minute in that sterile, over-designed office. You adjusted the files again, and with a final shake of your head, you stepped out of your office. Your feet moved on autopilot as you walked toward the elevators. You didn’t look back. There wasn’t any point.
You knew you’d have to come back.
You knew you’d have to face him again.
But for now, you needed to get out.
The first day had been hell, all thanks to your devilish boss.
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Jungkook and Jimin stepped out of Jungkook’s office. Jimin shot a sharp glare at Jungkook, his brow furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line. Jungkook, on the other hand, wore a smug, teasing smile that danced at the corners of his mouth. He could feel Jimin’s annoyance and found it far too satisfying to ignore.
"Jiminshi," Jungkook said casually, but Jimin didn’t even give him a second glance, his jaw clenched as he exhaled sharply.
“Shut up,” Jimin snapped back without hesitation, the heat in his voice enough to make Jungkook pause for a second. It almost made him laugh, but he quickly held it back, the corners of his mouth twitching.
"Come on, Jimin. We’re already late. And Jin hyung will be mad if we get even more late," Jungkook added, his tone light but carrying an edge of urgency. His smile was easy and easygoing, the kind that always got under Jimin’s skin, and this time, it did the trick. Jimin let out a slow, exasperated breath, his shoulders slumping slightly as he let his irritation simmer down. He nodded once, fingers gripping his phone a little too tightly. His hand flexed as he tucked it back into his pocket, his gaze fixed forward as they walked towards the elevator side by side.
Jungkook pushed the button to call the elevator, and Jimin stood next to him, arms crossed, still giving off that frustrated vibe. But Jungkook could see the edges of his irritation slowly dulling. Even if Jimin was pissed, he wouldn’t stay mad for long. Jimin was always the wise one, and he knew that getting upset over Jungkook's antics wouldn’t help anything. Jin had invited them for dinner tonight, and they both knew this wasn’t just another casual evening. Jimin had told Jin about you—how Jungkook couldn’t hear your thoughts, which still felt weird and foreign to him. It was strange, unsettling in a way, and Jin had wanted to discuss it. He’d called them both over, saying he needed to talk. Jungkook was curious about what Jin had in mind. It wasn’t every day that Jin invited them over, especially not without a reason.
The elevator doors opened, and Jungkook gestured for Jimin to enter first. Jimin grumbled under his breath but didn’t argue. Jungkook stepped in behind him, and the two of them stood in silence. He was looking forward to the evening, not only to talk things out but also to meet Jin's wife. She was a kind and sweet woman. If it wasn't for Taehyung, they would have never met her. Jin had been married for years, but he rarely invited anyone over, keeping his personal life guarded. Jungkook and Jimin always looked forward to her company. Jin, on the other hand, was borderline obsessed with her. It was impossible not to notice the way he adored her. They all had to be on their best behavior when she was around, though—Jin’s protective streak was well known.
The elevator doors closed with a quiet swoosh. They descended in silence, the air feeling heavier as their thoughts swirled. Both knew this night would give them more answers, but they weren’t sure what kind of questions would arise afterward.
Jungkook and Jimin soon stepped into the reception area. The receptionist was seated at her desk, typing quickly, and her head lifted the moment she saw them. She offered a polite smile as they approached.
"Good evening, Mr. Jeon, Mr. Park," she greeted warmly. Jungkook didn’t even spare her a glance. His eyes stayed ahead as he strode past her. He could hear her thoughts—granted, not every single word, but enough. Disgusting. Intrusive. He had no shame in admitting it. He didn’t feel the need to entertain it, so he ignored her completely.
Jimin, however, was different. His easy smile came naturally as he gave her a small, polite nod. His body language was relaxed, his movements smooth as he walked beside Jungkook toward the parking lot. His gaze was neutral, a simple act of kindness that contrasted sharply with Jungkook's indifference.
They reached the parking lot, and Jimin climbed into his car, his fingers gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than usual. He had originally planned on making Jungkook drive, but the irritation bubbling in him from earlier—the way Jungkook had acted with you—made him rethink. He was annoyed, not just because of what happened, but because Jungkook’s behavior had crossed a line. It wasn’t professionalism; it was just unnecessary rudeness. Pure and simple. Jimin had half a mind to lecture him, but instead, he started the engine, the sound of it roaring to life filling the air.
But Jungkook didn’t get in his own car. His eyes weren’t on Jimin, nor were they on the road. They were locked on something—or rather, someone.
You.
You were standing by your car, your arms crossed tightly over your chest, your head bowed slightly. Your shoulders looked tense, rigid, the way they always did when you were tired. You were clearly trying to calm yourself, but your lips were moving. You were speaking to yourself, or maybe the wind, but Jungkook could see it—your face contorted into something that looked like frustration, like rage.
He observed you. His body was suddenly heavy, his thoughts distracted. You looked like you wanted to set the entire parking lot on fire. From the way your hands tightened into fists by your sides, Jungkook could tell you were seething, clearly ready to explode. He couldn’t hear your thoughts, couldn’t read your mind like he could with everyone else, but it didn’t matter. Your expression was enough. You were cursing him out, he was sure of it.
It felt wrong to stare, but he couldn’t stop himself. It was like an itch buried beneath his skin. His entire body ached to know what you were saying, but you were like a closed book—impossible to read. It irritated him. That feeling of helplessness, the itch he couldn’t scratch. He hated not knowing exactly what you were thinking, hated that he couldn’t tap into the storm swirling behind those eyes. You looked like you wanted to strangle him, and the idea actually made him chuckle darkly to himself.
As much as he hated to admit it, there was something oddly magnetic about you. You looked so exhausted, so ready to shatter, your emotions playing across your face like an open book he couldn’t read. And that drove him insane. He wanted to know all of you. Every thought. Every word. Every secret. But he couldn’t. And it pissed him off.
His chest tightened as he studied you, his mind working in circles. Even though you looked like you were about to explode with frustration, there was a strange sense of calm that settled over him. Paradoxically, your anger—your confusion—was like a balm to his restless thoughts. His hands twitched at his sides.
And you, completely unaware of his gaze, kept muttering, your words too quiet for him to catch. The cold wind swayed your hair, and Jungkook wondered if you had any idea what you were doing to him. He hated that he cared. And yet, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to know.
He shifted his weight, a part of him wanting to walk away, but another part of him... couldn’t. He hated how curious he was about you. You were a puzzle he couldn’t solve, and that was something Jungkook couldn’t stand.
You suddenly turned your head, catching Jungkook’s eyes locked on you. Jungkook’s breath hitched. The shock of being caught sent a wave of heat through his chest. His eyes widened in alarm. Shit.
He knew. He knew you caught him. His face twisted into a mix of panic and frustration, and before he could overthink it, he whipped his head around, his heart pounding. He didn’t wait. He didn’t hesitate. He bolted into his car, yanked the door open, and slammed it shut behind him. Without looking back, the engine roared to life as he slammed his foot on the accelerator, his knuckles white around the steering wheel. He sped out of the parking lot, his focus darting between the road and his rearview mirror, where you were barely visible in the distance.
But before he could even breathe a sigh of relief, the heavens opened up. Rain poured down in sheets, soaking everything in an instant.
And then—he cursed.
He hated the rain. It always made him feel fragile, exposed, as though the world was pressing in on him in a way he couldn’t control. The sound of it pounding on the roof, the windshield, and the pavement—it was overwhelming, and it irritated him that he couldn’t understand why. It was stupid.
He glanced at the road, but Jimin’s car was nowhere to be seen. Of course, Jimin was probably already halfway there, and here he was, alone and soaked in this awful weather. His head was a mess, and his frustration felt tenfold. Great. He groaned, slamming his palm against the steering wheel. Perfect. The rain made it harder to see, the windshield wipers swishing furiously, but still, everything was blurry. Most people would’ve slowed down, maybe even pulled over. But Jungkook wasn’t like most people. So, he didn’t. His foot pressed harder against the gas, not caring about the storm that made the road slippery and hard to see.
Then, Jungkook’s eyes caught sight of Jimin’s car parked outside a convenience store, headlights flickering through the rain. He let out a soft, amused chuckle, shaking his head.
Typical Jimin.
Jimin was probably picking up some random snacks or an odd gift for Jin and his wife. The thought made him grin—what could you possibly find at a convenience store that would be good enough for dinner with Jin and his wife? Not much, he figured. But Jimin would always find a way to make things interesting. There was no way Jimin would have time to get something nice, and even if he did, Jin wouldn’t care. Namjoon wouldn’t even be there; he was off with his girlfriend. It was the kind of casual thing Jimin would do, and Jungkook was sure Taehyung along with Eunji (Namjoon's girlfriend's daughter) would tease him mercilessly about whatever he picked up. He could already imagine the scene: Jimin sulking, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly enjoying the attention. He spotted Jimin emerging from the door, an awkward bag in his hands, and he wondered what he had found.
But it wasn’t enough to make him stop. He didn’t want to be stuck in the rain any longer, so he pressed on, the road slick with water. The roads were empty. His headlights swept through the downpour, and the sound of his engine roared louder, mixing with the patter of the rain. The world felt gray and cold, and for a moment, he wondered if anyone else was even out here. His eyes darted, blinked twice, then three times in quick succession. A sharp flash of light broke through the downpour—streetlights, or headlights—too fast, too sudden. He squinted, trying to make sense of it, but his vision was useless against the storm.
Something’s coming.
Before he could react, he felt it. A sharp, sudden jolt as his car lost control. His hand gripped the wheel harder, his muscles tensed. He tried desperately to turn the steering wheel, left, right—anything to steady the car—but it felt as though the wheels had no grip at all. His breathing came out in short, sharp bursts.
And then it hit.
The sound was deafening—metal groaning, glass shattering. Jungkook’s body was thrown against the seat as the car twirled. He barely registered the impact before the airbag exploded in his face with a loud whoosh, his head slamming into it with force. His vision blurred, and the pain came, biting and sudden. His chest felt tight, his breaths shallow. The car spun—once, twice, thrice. His hands trembled against the steering wheel, and his head throbbed painfully. His heart felt as though it would pound out of his chest.
For a moment, everything went silent. He could feel his body shaking. His head swam, dizziness clouding his vision. His pulse raced as the rush of adrenaline hit, but then, fear—a feeling he rarely ever felt—took over. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to feel like this. Not after Mr. Park took him in. Not after Jimin became his family. He wasn’t supposed to feel this vulnerable. But now, the sensation was loud and personal, crawling up to his heart, through his arms, and into his bones.
Jungkook's world spun around him, the blur of the rain and the crash fading into nothingness. Suddenly, time seemed to stop. The sound of the storm, the screeching tires, everything disappeared. He wasn’t in his car anymore. He wasn’t even on the road. No, he was somewhere else entirely. Somewhere warm.
He was seven again.
The leather seats were soft, comforting, and the scent of his mother’s perfume lingered in the air. The only sound was the soft hum of the engine, a calm contrast to the chaos he had just left behind. He glanced around. His father was driving, hands steady on the wheel, wearing his familiar cheeky smile. His mother sat beside him, head against the window, her gaze distant but peaceful. Jungkook shifted uncomfortably in the back seat, squeezed between the seatbelt and the door. His arms were crossed tightly, shoulders hunched in frustration, as he kept his head down to avoid their attention.
“Hun, how long until we get there?” his mother’s voice broke the calm, soft and uncertain, reaching his father’s ears. She turned her head toward him with a small smile, her face lit faintly by the dashboard glow.
Mr. Jeon turned toward her, a subtle smile tugging at his lips. He shot her a cheery look, his eyes soft with affection as he answered. “Quite,” was all he said, but there was a warmth in his voice that made her smile.
But then Mr. Jeon's eyes found him.
Jungkook was sitting in the backseat, his little arms crossed tightly over his chest, his puffy cheeks flushed red. His head was turned toward the window, a frown tugging at his lips.
"What happened, Jung?" His father asked gently, voice full of care.
Jungkook’s gaze flickered up to meet his father's eyes, but he didn’t speak. Jungkook just huffed, his lip curling slightly, trying to hold back more tears. His arms tightened around himself, his small body so tense it seemed like he was trying to disappear into the seat. His eyes welled up again, and he sniffled, looking away.
“He don’t want to go.” Mrs. Jeon whispered softly, her voice light but firm, as though she’d been trying to ease the situation for some time. She shifted in her seat, her hands lightly brushing her white Chanel dress.
"I know that," Mr. Jeon said with a soft chuckle, his eyes flicking back to Jungkook. "But why?" he asked, genuinely curious.
Mrs. Jeon shrugged her shoulders, turning toward her husband with a helpless smile, her eyes glinting faintly with understanding. “You know how shy he is,” she whispered to him, just loud enough for him to hear but not Jungkook. Her voice was soft and wrapped in familiarity, like a gentle assurance.
Mr. Jeon chuckled softly, nodding in understanding. He then turned his attention back to Jungkook, his smile wide and encouraging. “But Taehyung will be there, too. Don’t you want to play with your hyung?” he teased, wiggling his brows playfully as he spoke.
Jungkook’s expression twisted with irritation. He pouted even more, his arms folding tighter across his chest. “No,” he snapped, his voice a little louder than before. “No, Taehyungie.” He refused to even look at his father, turning his head toward the window. His little hands balled into fists at his sides as he sat there.
Mr. Jeon froze for a moment at Jungkook’s sudden outburst. His eyes widened briefly as he glanced back at his son in the rearview mirror, but he let it go. He wasn’t angry—he never was with his son—but the outburst was unexpected. Jungkook wasn’t one to open up easily, and Mr. Jeon understood that. It wasn’t that Jungkook disliked Taehyung; he just couldn’t handle him. Taehyung was too much—too loud, too dramatic, too confident for Jungkook’s liking. His endless antics and unshakable charm always rubbed Jungkook the wrong way. It was easier for Jungkook to retreat into his shell than to deal with someone like Taehyung. Jungkook preferred the quiet, the safety of his own thoughts, while Taehyung was none of those things.
“Park uncle and his son are coming too. You wanted to meet Park uncle’s son?” Mr. Jeon tried again, his voice light and filled with gentle encouragement. He glanced back briefly, his brow furrowed slightly. He wanted Jungkook to at least be excited.
They were heading toward the Kim mansion for a grand party. A formal event with a lot of people, glittering dresses, and chatter. The kind of place where smiles felt like currency and charm was the language. It was important because their families shared good relationships with the Kim's. It was a social obligation.
But Jungkook didn’t bite. His gaze fixed on the rain streaking down the window. He pressed his cheek harder against the cold glass, the coolness against his skin doing little to ease the rising frustration in his chest. He wasn’t interested. His father’s words barely registered in his mind. The whole idea of going to a big event, the crowded space, the noise—it all just felt overwhelming.
“No,” Jungkook muttered, his voice tight, almost as if he were trying to seal off any further conversation. He could feel his father’s eyes on him, but he didn’t care. He didn't want to go. Not to meet Park Uncle’s son. Not to that party. Not anywhere. He wanted to stay home. He hated people. All of them. Parties. Crowds. They made his skin crawl. Even though Park uncle was always kind and brought him chocolate, even though he was gentle and easy to talk to, it didn’t matter. Meeting his son was a thought that felt like a chore.
Mr. Jeon’s face softened with a small, exasperated sigh. He turned his head, catching his wife’s eye for a brief moment. Mrs. Jeon gently tapped his arm, urging him to stop pushing Jungkook. But Mr. Jeon didn’t listen. He could see his son’s discomfort and it worried him. He wasn’t going to let it slide this time.
“Son, listen,” he began, trying again with more patience, his voice firm but not unkind. “You should—”
But his words were cut short by the sudden screech of tires and a blinding flash of headlights, too bright, too fast. Then—boom. Something slammed into their car, a deafening crash that shook everything around him. The impact tore through them, sending the car off the road. The world spun wildly, glass shattered, metal twisted, and screams filled the air. His head smacked against the seatbelt, his shoulders pulled hard by the force as the car twisted and turned like a broken toy. His arms flailed, his hands gripping at anything they could find, but there was nothing.
Finally, the car came to a violent stop and everything felt eerily quiet. The sound of the engine sputtering, the hiss of rain, and the faint, dull ringing in his ears filled his senses. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision, but his head spun. The air was thick with the metallic scent of blood. His chest was tight, his breath shallow. Through his blurred vision, he saw it—them. Blood streaked his vision, dark and warm as it trickled into his eyes from a gash on his forehead. His breath came in short, broken pants. He couldn’t see clearly—everything felt distorted, red, and wrong.  His mother was there. Her body was twisted, crumpled, unnatural, and there was so much blood. Everywhere but specially beneath her.
“Mom…” he whispered, his voice broken, a thin, desperate sound. His lips trembled, his head shaking as though he could will it away, but the horror wouldn’t leave. His small hands gripped at his seatbelt again, his fingers sticky, his face soaked with rain and fear. All he knew was that his mother was hurt, she was bleeding and wasn't moving.  No, no, no… His chest ached, a desperate pain that he couldn’t understand.
His eyes shifted to his father, still breathing, but barely. His father’s chest rose weakly, blood dripping from a gash on his forehead, and Jungkook’s heart twisted in his chest. “Dada…” His voice cracked, the sound barely more than a whimper as he reached out for his father, his small hands pressing against the seat. The fear was suffocating, but the pain of seeing his father so helpless, so close to slipping away, was worse. His body shook uncontrollably, his tiny frame trying to fight the overwhelming terror that threatened to swallow him whole.
The silence felt unbearable. Everything around him felt like a blur, yet every detail was all real and painstrikingly cruel. His hands trembled, his body shaking, his chest aching as he waited—desperately—for some kind of answer. But before his father could respond, figures emerged from the darkness dressed in black uniforms that glistened faintly under the rain. Their presence felt wrong, but the night itself was nothing if wasn't sinful. Jungkook’s head spun, his ears ringing painfully. The sound was distorted, every word like a distant, broken whisper. But the fragments came through, jagged and broken.
“And, it’s done... Wasn't much. Let him suffer.”
Jungkook visibly flinched at their words, his heart hammering against his ribcage. His ears rang painfully, making it hard to hear, but the fragments reached him like poison.
“He denied boss, after all.”
"Hmm, all he needed was that file. Black orchid project's file."
 "Yeah, stupid motherfucker." They turned to leave, but then one of them paused, looking back at Mr. Jeon’s bloody form, a sinister smile creeping across his face. “You know, since you’re dying anyways, let me tell you something… we found her. We got the first kid from the Black Orchid project. And with her, we’ll get them all. And with you dead, who will stop us.”
Their laughter was cruel and hollow, echoing in the stillness like nails scraping across the floor. Jungkook’s chest tightened, and his stomach churned, bile rising in his throat as they disappeared into the rain. The words haunted him, swirling in his mind, but before he could process them, another sound broke through—the sound of his father’s breath.
Mr. Jeon’s body shifted, his chest rising and falling in labored, shallow breaths. His tear-streaked face twisted with pain as his eyes met Jungkook’s, the weight of everything crashing down in those last, fleeting moments. “Jungkook…” His voice was raw, barely a whisper, but it carried so much guilt that it felt like it could suffocate him. “I’m so sorry, my boy… this… this is all because of me.”
“Dada…” His voice was cracked, shaky, the fear rising in his chest like a storm. His hand reached out instinctively, trembling, but it fell short, his small fingers grazing the air instead of his father’s skin.
Just as Jungkook’s vision began to blur, another sound broke through the haze—the screech of tires and the distant sound of shoes splashing through the rain. Relief flickered faintly in his chest. Someone was coming. But his blurry gaze couldn’t make out who it was.
A pair of feet appeared before him, followed by the frantic sound of someone running, slipping in the rain as they skidded to a halt next to the wreckage.
 It was Mr. Park, panting, his face pale with shock as he took in the horror before him.
Mr. Park dropped to his knees beside the wreckage, his hands trembling as they hovered over the twisted metal, unable to focus on anything but the devastation before him. His breath hitched in his chest as his gaze fell on Mrs. Jeon’s crumpled, lifeless form, and the tears welled up instantly, blurring his vision. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. All he could manage was a broken, “Oh, my... How… what?” His gaze settled on Jungkook’s mother, crumpled and lifeless in the front seat, and his breath hitched. His hands gripped the cold, wet metal of the car, his entire body shaking as he fought the overwhelming wave of fear and sorrow threatening to drown him.
“Hang on! I’ll get you both out, I promise!” His voice cracked as he spoke, his hands fumbling against the seatbelt, desperate to pull them free.
But Mr. Jeon, with great effort, shook his head. His face was pale, slick with sweat, and blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. His voice came out hoarse, barely more than a whisper, but the words cut through the chaos. “No... no... listen to me.” He coughed, his body convulsing from the effort, and blood spattered onto his chest. “I... I won’t be able to make it out of here. Take Jungkook... get him out... and raise him. There’s no one else I trust more than you, Park. You’re like a brother to me. Please... take care of him... like he’s your own.”
Mr. Park’s eyes filled with tears, and he squeezed them shut for a moment, trying to push back the wave of grief threatening to drown him. His chest tightened, and his voice cracked as he fought to keep it steady. “I will. I promise. But don’t say that, we can still—”
“No…” Mr. Jeon’s voice was barely a whisper now, weak and distant, almost drowned out by the rain. The faintest of smiles tugged at the corner of his lips, but it quickly disappeared as he coughed, blood staining his mouth. “It’s too late for me… just save him. Please.”
Mr. Park’s hand trembled as it hovered over Mr. Jeon’s, and he nodded, his lips trembling. He wasn’t ready to accept this, but he knew there was no choice. “I’ll take him,” he whispered. “I’ll take him, I promise.”
With trembling hands, Mr. Park unbuckled Jungkook, his heart breaking at the sight of the boy’s tear-streaked face, pale and bloodied. The tiny body was limp in his arms, and he fought to hold back his own tears, knowing it wouldn’t help. Jungkook’s head lolled against his shoulder, eyes barely open, blinking with confusion and fear, but he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move.
“I’ve got you,” Mr. Park whispered, his voice rough with emotion, his arms tightening around Jungkook as he lifted him from the wreckage. The boy’s head rested against his chest, the faintest stir of breath against his skin. “It’s going to be okay,” he said, though he knew nothing about this could ever be okay. If anything, he himself didn't trusted his words. They felt hollow.
“I’ll be back to get you. And I’ll get you out too, just hang there,” he said, his voice final, desperate, and certain. His hands trembled as he cradled Jungkook against his chest, his gaze flickering back toward Mr. Jeon, whose eyes were barely open. Mr. Park wasn't sure if he was even capable enough to fulfil that promise but at moment it was all he could offer, it was all he had left.
Mr. Jeon’s eyes fluttered, a faint nod the only response he could manage. His body had grown so still, but the tear streaked face, the way his lips trembled, said everything. He knew it was a promise that wouldn’t be kept—but he nodded anyway, and the last bit of hope faded in the silence of the wreckage. With one final glance, Mr. Park turned, his arms cradling Jungkook against him, as he ran toward safety, the boy’s limp body a stark contrast to the life and pain surrounding them. The rain continued to pour, and with each step, it felt like the world was slipping further away.
Jungkook’s eyes fluttered weakly as he was carried to Mr. Park’s car. His small body felt light and cold against the older man’s chest. Inside the vehicle, Jimin sat in the backseat, his wide eyes staring at the scene before him. His small hands gripped the edge of his seat tightly, his knuckles pale in the dim glow of the headlights. When Mr. Park placed Jungkook beside him, Jimin’s shock melted into an visible concern. His little face was a mix of worry and gentleness as he shifted closer, his small body trembling slightly. Without hesitation, he wrapped his tiny arms around Jungkook, pulling him into a hug. The warmth of Jimin’s embrace was so soft, so comforting, but it felt like it wasn’t enough.
“Don’t cry… it’s okay, don’t cry,” Jimin whispered, his voice cracking slightly as he pulled Jungkook closer. Jungkook’s eyes burned, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. His throat was tight, his chest hollow with loss. The last thing he felt before the world around him went black was Jimin’s arms, holding him tight, and the warmth of a friendship that now felt fragile, like a thread ready to snap.
Meanwhile, Mr. Park’s hands were shaking, his desperation choking his every movement as he turned back to the wreck. His heart pounded in his chest as he sprinted toward the flames, but he didn’t make it. Before he could even reach the wreckage, the explosion erupted in a violent wave, the flames licking at the sky as they consumed the car. The explosion rocked the ground beneath him, the heat so intense it scorched his skin, and the rain didn’t do a thing to stop the inferno. The sound of the blast echoed in his chest, and for a moment, Mr. Park stood frozen, his body trembling from the shock, the image of his closest friend burning into his mind.  His breath caught in his throat, his heart twisted painfully, but he couldn’t move. He watched as the fire consumed everything—everything he had hoped to save. The rain poured harder, but it was useless against the inferno.
And just like that, Jungkook lost everything in one brutal, cruel instant. His mind hung on that moment, the crackling fire and the unyielding rain swallowing it all. The sound of the explosion still rang in his ears as he was pulled from the memory. Another sharp, blinding flash of light cut through his closed eyelids, yanking him out of his haze. His head throbbed painfully, the beat of his pulse a steady rhythm that seemed to match the aching in his skull.
A car screeched to a halt in front of him, the sound cutting through the fog in his mind like a blade. For a moment, he thought it was Jimin. But that couldn’t be right—Jimin was way behind him, far away from this mess, in a safe place. How could he have gotten ahead so fast? Jungkook’s thoughts came fast and fragmented. His breaths came quicker, his hands trembling harder as his body tensed with uncertainty.
What was happening? Was it Jimin? Was it someone else? His mind felt fractured, his body unable to respond. His body felt paralysed, useless.
The driver stepped out into the downpour, his black uniform drenched in seconds, but he moved forward with an unsettling calm. The sight of the uniform—it was like a switch had been flipped inside Jungkook. But his thoughts were too scattered, too foggy, to make sense of it. The closer the man got, the louder the buzz in Jungkook’s head grew, like lightening sissling through his skull. It was unbearable. His hands flew to his temples, fingers digging in desperately, but the pain only intensified. A low, broken groan escaped his throat.
Without warning, a loud, brutal crash shattered the silence. The man had smashed the car window. The sound tore through his body like a physical blow, breaking his fragile focus. His eyes flew open just as he felt the sting of broken glass. The shards flying like tiny stars of pain that bit into his skin. Before Jungkook could even flinch, a rough hand wrapped around his collar and yanked him from the seat. He was dragged out into the downpour, the cold, icy rain slamming into his face, washing away the blood. The cold slapped against his skin like a thousand tiny knives, but he was too weak to react. His limbs were heavy, his body numb, as if it wasn’t even his own. He couldn’t fight back. The man dragged him across the slick road like he weighed nothing, and with a brutal toss, he was slammed onto the wet pavement. His body hit the ground with a sickening thud, and the cold, muddy water instantly soaked through his clothes, seeping into his bones.
He forced himself to push up or at least he tired. His hands trembled, weak and brittle, but he couldn’t hold himself. His body gave out, and he collapsed back into the mud with a helpless, wet sound. His face turned upward, the rain blurring his vision, every droplet a sharp needle that dug into his skin. His chest heaved, his breaths coming in shallow bursts, but the pain in his skull, his limbs, and his chest refused to go away. Jungkook tried again, his body shaking harder this time. His head swayed from side to side as he struggled, but the rain felt endless, each droplet pounding into him, each one deeper, colder, meaner. His heartbeat was an erratic drumbeat in his chest, thudding against his ribs like it might give out at any moment. His vision remained a hazy blur—everything was grey, wet, and cold, and the pounding in his skull grew stronger with every heartbeat.
Jungkook’s eyes fought to stay open, his vision blurring more with each passing second, but the shape of the man in front of him became clearer. The man in the black uniform loomed over him, a dark, shifting figure that blurred in the rain. His face was a shadow, but the smirk on his lips was cruel and clear.
The man’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he watched Jungkook struggle beneath him, barely able to lift himself up on one elbow. His hand gripped the gun with a steady, deadly calm, and as he crouched down, water splashed from his chin, droplets falling onto Jungkook’s face. “Look at you,” he sneered, voice dripping with mockery, “pathetic. No high and mighty prince now, huh? Where’s your guard dog to save you?”
Jungkook’s chest heaved in ragged breaths, his heart hammering in his ribcage. He could feel the weight of his body dragging him further into the puddle, the cold seeping into his bones, but his muscles were too weak to fight back. His hand twitched, desperately trying to reach for something—anything—to push himself up, but it shook violently, unable to get any purchase. He gritted his teeth, eyes clouded with pain and dizziness, unable to respond, unable to do anything but lie there and take it.
“today was my lucky day, I guess,”  he laughed.
“You’ve been a thorn in our side for too long,” the man continued, his voice dropping lower as he straightened, standing taller. His form was solid and imposing, his boots kicking mud as he took a step back. The gun rose, glinting under the pale light of the streetlamps. The barrel was cold, steady, and pointed directly at Jungkook’s chest.
“Time to put you out of your misery, kid. Join mommy and daddy. I wager... You’ve been dying to.” A cold sweat broke out across Jungkook’s skin even in shrill rain, and for a brief moment, his breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened, flicking between the gun and the man’s mocking face, terror clawing at him from the inside. His chest tightened, his body frozen as the world spun around him, and he tried once more to move, to escape, but his legs were useless, as if the earth beneath him was swallowing him whole. All that remained was the sharp, unrelenting noise of the rain and the sickening sound of the man’s finger inching toward the trigger.
Jungkook’s body went rigid as the man’s words echoed in his mind. His heart thundered in his chest as the memories of his parents flooded him—their lifeless eyes, the blood staining the night, the terror that gripped him then and now. His hands, slick with cold rain, shook uncontrollably as he stared at the barrel of the gun. His throat constricted, but no words came out—only a choked sob that was lost in the downpour.
The man’s grin widened, cruel and savage, as he inched his finger toward the trigger. Jungkook could see the gleam in his eyes, the satisfaction of finally having the power to take everything from him. The laughter in his voice was sharp, like glass scraping against his skin, and with a slow, deliberate motion, he squeezed the trigger.
"Goodbye, Jeon Jungkook."
The gunshot shattered the night—louder than the storm, louder than the pounding in Jungkook's ears. For a brief, agonizing moment, the world seemed to stop. The rain paused in midair, hanging like frozen tears, the wind silenced as if holding its breath. Jungkook felt the world tilt beneath him, and his body instinctively braced for the impact that was supposed to come.
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a/n: So, how’d you guys like it? Hate it? Loved it? I need the feedback, break me, but like... gently, okay? I’m fragile and I’ll cry, like, on the spot. But honestly, there might be some grammatical disasters in there. Why? Because I got sick and just didn’t have the energy to do much editing work on it. So yeah, don’t judge me too hard, I’m basically a walking disaster right now. Also, I really hope you still love Jungkook after reading this. Please don’t hate him. Show him some love. And, like, show me some too, because my ego is starving. Tell me how amazing it was (or, like, pretend it was) and boost my fragile little ego, okay? I need it. Love ya, guys!
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mclacedes · 23 hours ago
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A Fading Echo (LH44)
CHAPTER II: Going Home
a/n: this is NOT PROOF READ
warnings: breakup, abu dhabi ‘21, rude!lewis, depression, gaslighting, fighting
★ previous chapter
★ next chapter
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“For a moment, he wanted to break down and beg Willem not to leave. Don't go, he wanted to tell him. Stay here with me. I'm scared to be alone.”
- Hanya Yanagihara, "A Little Life"
He remembers your final battle—the fight that ended it all; the decision-maker, the deal-breaker.
Four years. You had been together for four beautiful, though turbulent, years. The kind of love story that felt unshakable, weathering the storms life hurled your way. You had your own career, pursuing the dreams you’d cherished since you were a kid. You were finally at a stage in life where everything felt like it fit perfectly. And with him by your side, it seemed like nothing could go wrong.
By 2020—your third year together—things had grown serious, the kind of serious that made people whisper about rings and forever.
You still remember the phone call in March 2020, just as the world began to crumble under the weight of a pandemic, when asked you the question, his voice calm but carrying a thread of anticipation.
“Quarantine with me. In the UK,” he said, his words slicing through the static.
You froze, caught completely off guard. The emotions hit you all at once—joy, anxiety, disbelief—so quickly that you couldn’t string a coherent thought together.
“Y/n?” His voice softened. “You still there?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” you stammered, your mind still reeling. “I’m just… a little unprepared for that question.”
The pandemic was spiraling into chaos. Quarantine was the new normal, with no end in sight. Weeks? Months? Years? No one knew. There was no vaccine, no cure, just endless uncertainty. The thought of being confined in one place for so long felt suffocating.
“It's just… That's not my house, I don't know if I’ll…” he had this unbearable habit of cutting you off in the middle of a sentence.
“I know, but we can make it home,” you could tell he was beaming with pride for coming up with that sentence. “Home is wherever you are.”
It sounded like a promise. Like he was for real.
“Besides, there won’t be any races for a while. Things will be peaceful, quiet… just us. I think we can make it fun at home, huh?”
His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket. Despite the fear and uncertainty, the thought of being with him—just him—was comforting.
You took a deep breath, letting the idea sink in. “Okay, it sounds nice,” and you smiled.
And it was nice. More than nice, really. Those weeks together were filled with laughter and quiet moments, a bubble of peace in a chaotic world.
Eventually, though, he had to leave again. Racing had resumed, and his life called him back to the track. You went to as many races as you could, though he always worried.
“I don’t want you catching that thing,” he’d say, his protective nature shining through.
You’d laugh it off, but you knew he meant it. Those months felt like a rhythm you could get used to—brief separations and joyous reunions. You thought you had found your balance.
But cracks have a way of forming when you least expect them—because people talk. They speculate. They conspire. Perched on the edges of lives they don’t know, they wait for their chance to unravel something beautiful.
Your relationship became a sweet treat for an internet starved for the meanest way to make somebody seem interesting, a spectacle to devour and distort—somebody had to feed those vultures.
By mid-2021, Twitter was buzzing with talk of rings, cradles and bibs. People dissected your (and his) every move, searching for signs of the next big step. But while the world fantasized about your future, Lewis was consumed by a fight of his own—that year's championship; the toughest battle since 2016, since Nico.
You knew his career had always been his first love, the thing that made his heart pump and his eyes shine long before they settled on you. Just as you had your own dreams to chase, he had his. And in 2021, those dreams demanded everything from him—his time, his attention, his softness, and, it seemed, his love for you.
By late 2021, the cracks in your once unshakable foundation had grown too wide to ignore. The championship consumed him, pulling him further away, and you—desperately holding on—began to feel more like an obligation than a partner.
It started with the little things: unanswered texts, “I was catching up on data”, missed calls, conversations cut short with a distracted “Sorry, I’ll call you later”. Later never came thought. Even when you were physically together, his mind was elsewhere, a thousand miles ahead, already focused on the next race, the next strategy meeting, the next battle on track.
You tried to understand. You reminded yourself of his passion, his drive, the fire that had drawn you to him in the first place. But understanding didn’t make the loneliness any easier to bear.
Then it crumbled. December, after Abu Dhabi. It was like everything started to shut down, like multiple organ failure—there’s no surgery to save your relationship. The worst part is that you knew it—you both. The even worse part was that you let it go so easily.
The fallout from that race was cataclysmic, not just for him but for you too. He came home shattered—a man stripped of everything he’d worked for, everything he believed in. You wanted to be there for him, to help him rebuild, but he wouldn’t let you in. He was silent, withdrawn, a ghost of the man who had once made you feel like the center of his universe.
“I’m here if you wanna talk,” you had reassured him once, your voice soft, during a quietly bitter dinner.
“I don’t want to,” he replied sharply, his tone cold and clipped, not even looking up from his plate.
“I know, but what I mean is that—”
“I know what you mean, Y/N,” he interrupted, his voice laced with impatience. “Please, can we just eat?”
The finality in his words stung, sharp and unforgiving. Recessive and heartbroken, you nodded, lowering your gaze to the plate of food you had poured your heart into making—a meal that now tasted like ash in your mouth.
The days dragged on after that, each one heavier than the last. Conversations became sparse, filled only with superficial pleasantries or curt exchanges. The man who used to pull you into his arms and make you laugh until your sides ached now felt like a stranger in your own home.
And then came the day he told you he was leaving.
“I’m going over to my parents,” he said one evening, his voice flat, drained of its usual warmth, as the chill of December crept into the Monaco air.
You blinked, still sitting on the couch surrounded by a scattering of holiday cards you’d been addressing. The weight of his words took a moment to settle.
“Didn’t know they’d spend Christmas with us,” you said, absent-minded, not understanding what he meant yet.
“No,” he clarified, his tone cool and detached. “I’m going home.”
The room seemed to close in around you, the once-welcoming space now feeling alien and far too empty. “Okay… I’ll pack my bags,” you said quickly, standing up abruptly, as if to act like nothing had changed. “How long are we staying there? I hope you’re aware that I’m going home for New Year’s—”
“No, Y/N.” He cut you off, his words sharp enough to slice through the air. “I need to go by myself. Just me and my parents for once.”
Your breath hitched as you processed his words. “Oh. Umm… Okay,” you managed to say, your throat tightening, tears threatening to spill. “It’s just that we… we had planned this. We were supposed to—”
“Yeah, yeah,” he interrupted, waving a dismissive hand. “Plans changed.”
The dismissal stung, sharp and biting, like a slap to the face. And then, the silence.
“What happened, Lewis?” you asked, the crack in your voice betraying the storm brewing inside.
“How is that even a question?” he snapped, his brow furrowed, disbelief coloring his words. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration leaking from his every pore. “It’s right in front of you, Y/N. It’s been right in front of you.”
“No, it hasn’t!” you shot back, the words tumbling out in a mix of anger and desperation. “You’ve been shutting me out for months. I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore because you won’t talk to me! You won’t let me in!”
“Oh, so now this is my fault?” he retorted, his voice rising, defensive. “I’m the bad guy for not wanting to drown you in my shit? For needing space to deal with the fact that my career—my legacy—was torn apart in front of the entire world?” He turned his back on you, heading toward the hallway that led to your shared bedroom.
“That’s not what I’m saying, Lewis!” you shouted, following him, the frustration boiling over. “The thing is, you made me believe we were a team. We’d face things together. And now, when it matters most, you’re shutting me out!”
But he didn’t listen. His steps were heavy, his mind already elsewhere.
“You said you’re going home!” You screamed, and this time, he finally stopped, his body tensing.
He turned around, his face a storm of frustration. “I am going home, Y/N. What’s so hard to understand about that?”
“What happened to ‘home is wherever you are, Y/N’?” you repeated, your voice shaking with raw emotion. “This isn’t your home anymore? After everything we’ve built together, I’m not your home?”
He scoffed, a cruel sound that sliced through the air. “You’re twisting my words.”
“No, I’m not!” you retorted, your heart pounding, desperate to be heard. “I’m just trying to understand why you think running back to the UK and shutting me out is the answer to anything. You barely even look at me anymore, Lewis. Do you even want me here?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” His eyes narrowed, his tone sharp, though still defensive.
“It means you’ve kept me on the edge for so long. You’re here, but not really. And when you’re gone, we don’t talk. You disappear. I’m not even a part of your life anymore!” You could feel the tears in your throat, but you fought them back. “You dismiss everything we talked about—marriage, kids, a future. Like none of it matters to you anymore. Like you don’t want me in your life at all. It feels like you hate me!”
“Argh, here you go again,” he snarled, his fists clenching. “Shit, you always do this,” he snapped, his voice rising. “Always making it about you,” his index pointed straight at you.
“Because it is about us!” you cried, your voice breaking. “It’s about me too, isn’t it? I’m not some option you can just turn off when you don’t feel like dealing with me!”
“Well, I’m the one dealing with shit right now,” he shot back, his eyes flashing with anger. “And instead of supporting me, you’re interrogating me, saying I don’t care about you. You think that talking about babies and rings is going to fix anything? You don’t get it, Y/N! You’re so focused on your timeline, on what you think I should be giving you, that you can’t see that I’m falling apart!”
You stood frozen, the sting of his words slicing through you like ice. “That’s not fair, Lewis. I’ve been supporting you—”
“Have you?” he interrupted coldly, his voice full of bitterness. “Because all I hear is how you feel. I’m the one who’s lost everything, but somehow, I’m the one to blame. You’ve made this all about you.”
“You keep saying you’ve lost everything, but no,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears now spilling. “You haven’t lost everything. Your legacy is still there. You’re a legend. It’s always going to be remembered. But you’re so lost in your own darkness that you can’t see what’s still in front of you. You’ve lost a championship, so what?”
Lewis’s face twisted with rage, his eyes seething as he glared at you. “So what?” he echoed bitterly. “You think it’s just about a damn race? It’s not just the championship, Y/N. It’s everything. They took it from me. They stole it from me, right in front of everyone’s eyes. And all you can do is lecture me like I’m being unreasonable? You’re standing here talking about legacy and what I’ve achieved, but none of that matters if it’s all been ripped away. What’s left of me when they’ve taken everything?” he said, forcing himself to maintain his composure.
“Yeah, and what's left of us, Lewis?”
The words hit him harder than you expected, and for a moment, he was silent, his jaw tightening. His chest heaved, and his eyes locked onto yours, a mix of pain and frustration swirling in them.
“What do you mean, what's left of us?” he asked, his voice shaking slightly, as though he was trying to understand.
“We,” you repeated, your voice quieter now, barely above a whisper. “What’s left of us when you shut me out like this? When you push me away every time I try to help you, every time I try to understand? What happens when you keep giving them, the media, more than you give to this relationship?”
“I don’t think I have the mindspace to dwell on that anymore, Y/N,” He stood there, seemingly distant, his eyes avoiding yours now. The air between you both felt colder, thicker, like an impenetrable wall had risen between the two of you.
“See? That's what I’m talking about! You’ll just run away, packing it up and not talking to me. You can’t just not think about it, Lewis,” you said, frustration creeping into your voice. “You can’t just shut everything out because it’s easier than facing it. This relationship—us—it’s not a convenience, it’s not something you can just leave behind when it doesn’t fit your narrative anymore.”
His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing as if he were searching for a retort but couldn’t find the words. Finally, he said, “I can’t give you what you need right now, Y/N. I can’t be the person you want me to be.”
“I don’t need you to be perfect, Lewis,” you said, stepping closer to him. “I just need you to let me in. I need you to trust me enough to share the weight.”
He shook his head, looking away as if he couldn’t bear to meet your eyes. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is!” you insisted, the tears you’d been holding back spilling over now. “You’re choosing to leave me out. You’re actively choosing to push me away. That’s not about the championship or your career—that’s about us. And it’s killing me, Lewis.”
For a moment, he just stood there, his eyes locked on yours, his face a blank mask. And then, in a voice so quiet, so small, it shattered your heart, he said, “Maybe we were never as strong as we thought we were.”
The words slammed into you like a punch to the gut, leaving you gasping for air. “You don’t mean that,” you pleaded, your voice trembling, cracking under the weight of the truth you didn’t want to face.
Time seemed to slow as he reached for his house keys, his car keys, and the packed handbag—each movement like a dagger slowly twisting deeper into your chest.
“Lewis, no,” you begged, your voice raw, desperation flooding your veins. “No, please, don’t do this. Please stay…”
But he didn’t look back. He didn’t even flinch at your broken cries.
“I’ll see you around,” he muttered, his words empty, hollow. His tone was void of everything that once mattered. Without another word, he walked out, the door slamming shut behind him with a deafening finality.
The silence that followed was suffocating, the sound of the door’s closure ringing in your ears like a death knell. You were left standing there, frozen, in a sea of devastation. Alone. Lost. And questioning everything that had once been so sure.
Nothing was ever the same after that.
For him, that wasn’t just the loss of a championship—it was the loss of himself. Of everything he thought he could hold onto.
You watched helplessly as he sought solace in everything else—the noise, the distractions, the empty comforts—anything but you. Everyone else seemed to understand the depths of his pain, the weight of his loss, except for you. And that fact stung worse than anything he’d said.
That night, you let yourself slip into a crying spiral, tears falling uncontrollably, each one a reflection of the pain that had consumed you. You didn't know how long it lasted, but it felt like hours, your chest tight and raw. Eventually, exhaustion dragged you into a restless sleep, the emptiness settling around you.
A few weeks later, after trying to collect yourself and make sense of the pain, you sent one text.
you: i’ve taken my thing out of your house in Monaco. i’m breaking up with you.
You stared at the message for a long moment, your thumb hovering over the send button, as though giving yourself a moment to breathe before the finality of it.
With a shaky exhale, you pressed send. The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of everything that had built up, everything that had been left unsaid. The knot in your chest didn’t loosen. It didn’t change anything. But it was done. And as you stared at the screen, the absence of a reply was just another confirmation that it was over.
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kedreeva · 10 hours ago
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There are good things in this world still
The Holidays have had me busy the last few days, so between my last Good Things post and this one:
My brother flew down to surprise my sister with a visit for Christmas.
My elderly, ill bird (Aurora) started showing fast improvement once we switched medications for her!
I spent an evening with my in-laws, who are lovely folks. There was good food, good company, good cheer. I received an adorable homemade sticker from my nephew, with my farm name in the Jurassic Park logo style!
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It lives on my computer now so I can look at it whenever I want. They also gave me a laptop cooling pad, which not only cools my laptop, but allows me to tip/raise it only my lap so I'm no longer hunched over to write and game!
I stole all of the wrapping paper and boxes, to be shredded for rodent bedding/nesting materials; they will highly enjoy all of the novel scents and textures!
I made spinach artichoke dip for the christmas gathering, except I completely forgot the artichoke. On the one hand, I felt bad not having a viable dish, but on the other hand, I mixed in the artichoke when I got home, and put it all into a mini-crockpot to heat up and eat at home. Worked great! I've been wondering about the effectiveness of the mini crock for a while (Can I Make Just One Cup Of Soup??), and it seems fairly viable for keeping stuff warm at least- GREAT news for making a small amount of hot mulled cider for cold nights.
I finished two scenes for my next chapter of story, after not having the spoons to write for a while. I also caught myself daydreaming about Final Pack again, so I will be renewing efforts to get the first book cleaned up!
I candled the eggs from my wild type celadon project, expecting that none of them would be growing (because the eggs get too cold in the winter), but there are FIVE of them! growing!! They've got ten more days to go, so we'll see how many actually make it out. I am STOKED to see what the first babies look like.
I baked sugar cookies and frosted them with my partner. It was very fun, and I have enjoyed giving cookies to people (and eating them, myself) since.
There are good things left in this world, however small. This is your opportunity to reblog this and share your good things with each other, or check the notes if you need a reminder.
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pbaz7 · 12 hours ago
Text
CROSSING THE LINE — PART NINE ♡
paige x azzi
warnings: panic attack
word count: 5k
A/N: This chapter was a little sad to write but I liked detailed I was able to get with Paige's feelings . If you didn't see my post earlier I'm not sure where I'm going from here yet with this story. This might be one of the last chapters with like an epilogue or something but idk fully yet. Please let me know what you think and leave live reactions and comments if you can! Hope everyone had a nice holiday 😊
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Mid February 2024
Paige stared at her reflection in the mirror, her face pale, eyes shadowed with exhaustion. The weight of it all felt unbearable. Her mind churned with a constant noise—comments, critiques, expectations, all bouncing off the walls of her head. No matter how hard she worked, it was never enough. Each day was a new round of judgment, and she was so tired no matter how much she tried to hide it. 
It was February, and UConn had only lost two games this season, but both had come with a heavy cost. The media storm that followed each loss made it feel like the world was spinning just a little bit too fast, dragging her along with it. Geno’s contradicting criticisms were always looming. She was too passive one game, too aggressive the next, but always too something. She shot too much, didn’t shoot enough, forced too many shots. Every mistake, every misstep, every decision, was held under a microscope, dissected and discussed endlessly.
Paige’s breath came in shallow gasps as she stared at herself in the mirror, her fingers trembling ever so slightly. The scoreboard in her mind was relentless. If she didn’t get at least 25, if she didn’t clearly dominate the game, she wasn’t good enough. It didn’t matter that she was impacting the game in other ways—her assists, her defense, her leadership, her mere gravity on the court. None of that seemed to matter. Only the numbers in the point column.
The pressure was suffocating. No matter how many hours she spent perfecting her game, it was never enough.
Every morning, the first thought in her head wasn’t about the game ahead—it was about the headlines, the tweets, the messages people were sending. Every night, she lay awake replaying her mistakes, wondering how she could have done more. What if she’d pushed harder, passed differently, shot better? What if she had been more aggressive? The question haunted her like a shadow, chasing her down until she couldn’t tell where the doubt ended and she began.
The whispers were always there—people talking about her, criticizing her, claiming she wasn’t the player they thought she should be, the player she used to be. Even her own coach had joined the chorus of voices pointing out her flaws. She could feel the eyes on her during every practice, every game. Everyone was waiting for her to fall, to break under the pressure.
And sometimes, Paige felt like she might.
Azzi slowly noticed it over time. Paige had been quieter than usual during practice, a little more withdrawn in her celebrations, a little more distant. When they were on the court together, Azzi could see the way Paige was moving—slower, as if every step took more energy than the last. She was still putting in the work everyday, but it wasn’t the same. Her confidence, her usual fire, seemed dimmed. Azzi knew Paige well enough to recognize the signs.
So after a seemingly difficult practice for Paige one day, when the gym was nearly empty and the others were gathering their things, Azzi caught up with Paige. She stood in front of her, blocking her path to the locker room, her eyes soft but insistent.
"Paige," Azzi said, her voice gentle but firm. "What’s going on?"
"I’m fine Az," Paige muttered, her tone a little flat.
Azzi raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, especially considering her girlfriend's tone with her. She took a step closer, closing the distance between them.
"You’re not fine," she said quietly, her voice threaded with concern. "You’re putting on a mask, but you know I can see through it."
Paige hesitated for a moment, her gaze dropping to the floor as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She could feel Azzi’s eyes on her, the concern there in the way she was looking at her, but for some reason, the words felt stuck in her throat. She didn’t want to admit how bad it was lately, how much it was all eating away at her.
"I don’t know," Paige said quietly, her voice laced with frustration, a vulnerability she wasn’t used to showing. "It’s just... everything’s too much right now. The pressure. The expectations. I feel like I’m drowning, Azzi. I can’t keep up."
Azzi's heart twisted as she took a step closer, her hand reaching out to gently grasp Paige's arm. "Talk to me, baby," Azzi said softly, her voice full of warmth and care. "You know you’re not in this alone. Whatever you’re feeling, you can share it with me."
Paige let out a shaky breath, the tears she’d been holding back threatening to spill over. She could feel the walls she’d built around herself start to crack, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she wanted to let them fall. She wanted everyone to see everything—the weight of it all, the suffocating pressure she couldn’t escape. She wanted everyone to see just how bad they had made her feel. 
"I just... I don’t know how to do this anymore Az," Paige admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "No matter how hard I try, I’m never enough. The media’s on me, Geno’s on me, even our own damn fans are on me, everyone has something to say, and I feel like I’m constantly failing. If I don’t score 25, if I’m not the one carrying the team every game, it’s like I’m invisible. Like I’m not good enough."
Azzi’s gaze softened even more as she took Paige’s hands in her own, her thumbs brushing over her skin with a soothing touch. "Paige, baby" she said gently, lifting Paige’s chin to meet her eyes. "You are always more than enough. I see everything you’re doing on the court—how you’re leading, how you’re supporting your teammates. You’re making an impact in ways that go beyond just points on the board. And I know how hard you’re working. Don’t let anyone—including yourself—tell you otherwise."
The emotion in Paige’s chest bubbled up, the weight of Azzi’s words landing on her like a balm. She wanted to believe it, wanted to trust that the things her girlfriend said were true. But it was hard to let go of all the voices in her head. It was hard to not think Azzi was just being a supportive girlfriend. 
"I don’t know how to quiet my head," Paige said softly, a tear slipping down her cheek. "How do I keep going when it feels like nothing’s ever enough?"
Azzi pulled her into a gentle hug then, holding her close, her arms wrapping around Paige like a safe haven. "You don’t have to do it alone baby," Azzi murmured into her ear, her voice steady and reassuring. "I’m right here, every step of the way.”
Paige buried her face in Azzi’s shoulder, letting the tears fall freely now with no one else in the gym, no longer holding them back. She didn’t have it in here to be strong right now. She didn’t have it in her to be Uconn’s golden girl right now.
But then Uconn almost lost another game. Keyword being almost. 
The room felt suffocating, the walls closing in around Paige as the weight of everything pressed down on her. She had been here a few times before, locked in this dark space, trying to silence the voices in her head, but today felt different. It was harder to breathe, harder to push through.
The game had ended with a win. UConn had won by 11 points, but it wasn’t enough. It never was. Not when you were the star. Not when everyone expected perfection. Geno had praised her performance, sure, but there was always that hint of disappointment in his voice—more could have been done. More passes. More assists. Fewer contested shots because that won’t help in March.
Paige felt like she could feel the media’s eyes on her the entire game, their cameras flashing with judgment as they pounced on every flaw, no matter how small. The fans, too, had their say—complaining that she should have dropped 30 points on an unranked team, that she was being passive and deferring too much to other players. She knew they didn’t understand. They couldn’t see what was really happening on the court, the way she was trying to balance it all, the way she was doing everything she could to make her teammates shine, to get everyone involved.
But none of that mattered. Not to them.
Paige sat on the floor of the suite, back against the wall, feeling like she was shrinking into herself. She knew better than to get sucked into social media. Azzi had told her, warned her to delete it all, to stop looking at the constant stream of opinions from strangers. But here she was, scrolling through her feed, eyes filling with tears as she read each comment, each demand for more, as if she wasn’t already giving everything she had even if it was slowly killing her. 
She let out a shaky breath, biting down on her lip, trying to hold the tears at bay. But it wasn’t enough. The pressure kept building, the anxiety squeezing around her chest, making it harder to breathe. Paige put her phone down with trembling hands, the weight of it all sinking in, her head pounding with the noise in her mind.
Unable to stop herself, she softly banged the back of her head against the wall a few times, willing the thoughts to stop swirling. 
Why wasn’t it enough? Why couldn’t she just be allowed to have a good game, a solid performance, without the world tearing it apart? Why did every win feel like a loss when the criticism outweighed the praise? 
The tears finally came then, falling freely down her face as she sat there, trying to get a grip on her spiraling thoughts. The walls felt like they were slowly closing in, and she couldn’t stop the fear that was creeping into her chest. The fear that no matter how hard she tried, she would never be enough. That one day, the pressure would break her. That she would fall off the face of the Earth and everything for everyone else would keep spinning. 
She hated feeling weak, hated how powerless she felt in this moment. Not being in control. But she just tried to hold onto the thought of Azzi still in her mind, a small thread of comfort in the chaos. Azzi would understand. Azzi always did.
The room felt so empty without her. The silence was suffocating, the isolation almost too much to bear. Each breath Paige tried to take felt shallow, and the harder she focused on her breathing, the more it seemed to slip away. The more difficult it became. Panic was creeping in, like a hand pressing down on her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs.
She could physically feel all of it—the weight of the expectations, the constant pressure to be perfect. Each thought, each criticism, each word from the media felt like it was wrapping itself around her throat, making it harder to breathe.
She knew she should call Azzi, to try to force some words out so her girlfriend knew how much she needed her. But her phone lay discarded beside her and Paige couldn’t bring herself to look at it. She knew the messages, the comments, that she would unlock her phone to would only make it worse. Her head was spinning, and she couldn’t stop it. Every time she tried to focus her thoughts, to breathe deeply, to imagine Azzi the panic only tightened its grip.
Then the door clicked open, pulling her back from the edge for just a moment. Paige’s heart tried to catch up knowing who it was, but the breath still wouldn’t come.
Azzi froze when she saw Paige, sitting on the floor, her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. It only took a second for Azzi to drop her bag and throw her phone on the bed before rushing over. She didn’t hesitate, kneeling in front of Paige, taking her face in her hands. Paige couldn’t look at her, her breathing coming in sharp, uneven gasps.
"Paige," Azzi’s voice was gentle, but firm. "Look at me."
But Paige couldn’t. She was shaking, struggling, trapped in the chaos of her mind. Azzi saw it instantly—this wasn’t just sadness this time. This was another panic attack.
"Hey, hey, listen to me," Azzi said softly, her fingers brushing along Paige’s cheek, trying to steady her. "Breathe, baby. You’re okay."
Azzi’s own breaths were deep, slow, as she began to count, trying to guide Paige through the chaos. "In... one, two, three..." she counted, her voice low but steady. "Exhale... one, two, three..."
Paige’s chest heaved, her breaths sharp and ragged. She tried to focus on Azzi’s voice, but everything felt distant, blurry and out of reach.
"Come on, breathe with me," Azzi whispered, gently urging her. "In... one, two, three..." She let the air out slowly, counting as she did. "Exhale... one, two, three."
Paige’s body trembled, and Azzi could feel the weight of her distress, her panic. But she kept her voice calm, breaking each sentence into short, steady breaths.
"You’re safe," Azzi said, her thumb gently tracing over Paige’s skin. "I’m here. Breathe with me baby."
Paige’s breaths came in short, gasping bursts, still out of rhythm. She tried to follow Azzi’s lead, but each time she focused on her breath, it slipped further away.
"In... two, three," Azzi counted, her voice never wavering. "Exhale... two, three. You’re okay. I love you. I’m here."
Paige’s hands shook as she clutched at her chest, fighting for air. "I can’t... Azzi..." she gasped, her voice barely audible. She was drowning in the overwhelming pressure, feeling like she was finally losing the battle.
"You can," Azzi whispered, her own breath deepening as she counted. "In... one, two, three... Exhale... one, two, three." She leaned closer, her forehead gently resting against Paige’s. "Focus on me. You’re doing great. In, out. In, out."
The air in the room seemed to thicken, but slowly, Paige’s breathing began to soften. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. The frantic gasps slowed, her chest rising and falling with each breath, steadier now.
Azzi didn’t stop. She kept her hand on Paige’s face, gently coaxing her. "You’re so amazing, baby. You’re so strong. You’re so perfect."
Each breath they took together was a small step, and with every inhale, Paige felt the panic loosen its grip, just a little. Her hands stopped shaking as much, her body less rigid. Azzi’s voice was still steady, counting each breath, reassuring her.
"Good," Azzi said, her voice soft but filled with warmth. "That’s it. You’re okay now. Just breathe with me."
Paige’s breath was slower now, the panic starting to fade, replaced with exhaustion. She looked up at Azzi, her eyes filled with gratitude, but there was still a trace of vulnerability in her gaze.
Azzi smiled softly, her thumb brushing across Paige’s cheek. "I’m here," she whispered again, as though to remind Paige that she wasn’t alone. "I promise you’re never alone."
The storm hadn’t completely passed, but in that moment, with Azzi’s arms around her and her steady presence grounding her, Paige felt like she could breathe again.
After a few minutes of quiet, Azzi didn’t speak. She simply stood up and took Paige’s hand, gently guiding her towards the bathroom. Paige let herself be led, her body feeling light but exhausted, her mind still clouded and heavy. She felt empty, drained, but Azzi was there—her steady hand, her calm presence, like a lifeline in the chaos.
Azzi helped Paige undress. Paige didn’t protest, too worn out to resist, too overwhelmed to think about anything beyond the comfort Azzi was offering. When Azzi took off her own clothes and stepped into the shower with Paige, there was no rush, no urgency, just a quiet understanding between them as they sat in silence for a little bit.
Azzi began undoing Paige’s two braids softly as she kissed her girlfriends cheek or neck now and then. She then reached for the shampoo, squeezing a generous amount into her palm before gently massaging it into Paige’s wet hair. The warm water cascaded down over them, mingling with the steam, but all Paige could focus on was the soothing pressure of Azzi’s fingers against her scalp. Slowly, the tension in her body began to melt away. She leaned into Azzi, letting her eyes close as she rested her head on her shoulders, the simple act of being cared for grounding her even further.
Azzi didn’t say anything, her hands working methodically, rinsing the shampoo from Paige’s hair before applying conditioner. The quiet was comforting, the sound of water and Azzi’s soft hum in Paige’s ear were the only things filling the space.
When Azzi finished rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, Paige finally opened her eyes, meeting Azzi’s gaze. Azzi’s eyes softened, filled with a tenderness Paige couldn’t quite put into words. Her love for Paige was clear in the way she looked at her—gentle, unwavering, and so full of admiration.
Paige’s throat tightened, but she whispered, “Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse, but full of gratitude.
Azzi smiled, her thumb lightly grazing Paige’s cheek as she leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. I told you, no matter what, I’m always in your corner and I’m going to help you get through this.” 
The words settled into Paige’s chest. She wasn’t alone. Azzi was there, always there.
Without thinking, Paige wrapped her arms around Azzi, pulling her close. The water hit them both, but neither of them cared. They stood there, their bodies pressed together, holding each other in the quiet intimacy of the moment.
Steam lingered in the air as Paige stepped out of the bathroom dressed in a hoodie and sweats, her damp hair falling in loose waves around her shoulders. The soft shuffle of Azzi’s movements drew her attention to the bed, where Azzi had just sat cross-legged, a comb in one hand and two hair ties in the other.
"Come here," Azzi said softly, patting the space in front of her.
Paige raised an eyebrow, but the gentle look in Azzi’s eyes pulled her forward. She settled on the floor, her back to Azzi, who immediately began threading her fingers through Paige’s damp hair.
For a while, the room was quiet except for the faint sound of the comb gliding through Paige’s hair. Azzi broke the silence, her voice gentle. "You wanna tell me what’s been on your mind tonight?"
Paige was silent, staring at her hands clasped in her lap. She bit her bottom lip, her mind racing as she tried to find the words. "I just... I don’t know what people want from me anymore," she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
Azzi paused briefly, her hands stilling before resuming their steady rhythm. "What do you mean?"
"It’s like..." Paige hesitated, trying to find the words. "It’s not about basketball anymore. Every game, every move—it’s a story for someone else to tell. I can’t stop thinking about what people are gonna say after every game, and it’s exhausting."
Azzi hummed softly as she began parting Paige’s hair for the braids. "Do you think about that while you’re playing?"
Paige nodded, her voice small. "Sometimes. It’s like... the game isn’t just the game anymore. There’s so much pressure to live up to everyone’s expectations, and it makes it hard to just... enjoy it. To be in the moment."
Azzi gently tugged one section of hair, starting the first braid. "Paige, baby, you’ve been playing basketball your whole life. You didn’t fall in love with it because of what other people thought. You fell in love with it because it made you happy.”
"I know," Paige said, her voice wavering slightly. "But it’s hard not to care when there’s so many expectations. It’s like... no matter what I do, it’s never enough for me to just get one day of silence. And I just don’t want to let anyone down."
Azzi’s hands worked steadily as she braided, her voice calm but firm. "You can’t control what people think or say, no matter how hard you try so we gotta let that part go. But you can control remembering why you play. You don’t owe anyone anything, Paige—not the fans, not the critics, not even me baby. You play this game for you and only you. 
Paige was quiet for a moment, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweats. "It’s just hard to block it all out sometimes."
"I know it is," Azzi said softly, tying off the first braid and starting on the second. "But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’ve handled so much already, you’ve been through so much already and you’re still here, still fighting. That’s what matters."
Paige glanced over her shoulder, a small smile breaking through her thoughtful expression. "When did you get so wise?"
Azzi grinned, focused on finishing the second braid. "I’ve always been this wise. You’re just quiet enough for the first time to actually pay attention."
Paige chuckled, leaning into Azzi’s touch as she tied off the braid. Azzi ran her fingers over the finished work, smoothing down stray hairs before giving Paige’s shoulder a light squeeze.
"There," Azzi said, standing up and heading to the corner of the room to grab her basketball shoes. "Now, let’s go."
Paige blinked, looking at her with clear confusion on her face. "What? Go where?"
"The gym," Azzi said matter-of-factly, sliding her feet into some slides
Paige stared at her in disbelief. "Az, we just played an entire game and just got out of the shower. You’re crazy." 
Azzi smirked, tossing Paige’s shoes onto the floor beside her. "Come on, Superstar. I’m not asking."
Paige groaned, flopping back onto the carpet. "I picked a crazy person to be my girlfriend," she muttered, though a small grin tugged at her lips.
Azzi stepped closer, brushing a playful kiss against Paige’s temple. "Definitely, thought that was in the fine print though."
With a dramatic sigh, Paige sat up, slipping on her shoes and tying them lazily. "You’re lucky you’re cute," she grumbled as she followed Azzi out the door to her car. 
The gym was eerily quiet, the faint hum of the overhead lights the only sound as Paige and Azzi switched into their basketball shoes. Paige stood near the baseline, watching Azzi lace up her sneakers with an amused expression.
Azzi grabbed a basketball from the rack, dribbling it once before tossing it to Paige. "Check."
Paige caught the ball, raising an eyebrow at Azzi. "What are we doing?"
Azzi, already standing at the three point line, grinned. "We’re playing one-on-one."
Paige scoffed, spinning the ball lazily in her hands. "No, we’re not."
Azzi tilted her head, feigning innocence. "What, scared you’ll lose?"
Paige rolled her eyes, her competitive spirit sparking lightly at Azzi’s accusation. "First of all, I don’t lose one-on-one. Second, I definitely wouldn’t lose to my girlfriend."
Azzi smirked. "Then prove it. Play me. Otherwise I’ll just tell everyone you were scared."
Paige muttered something incoherent under her breath before lazily checking the ball back to Azzi.
Azzi immediately took advantage of Paige’s relaxed posture, going into a quick jumper from behind the arc. The ball arching beautifully through the air and swishing through the net.
"2-0," Azzi announced, her smirk widening.
Paige groaned, grabbing the ball. "Alright, that’s real cute."
When Paige checked the ball this time, she pressed a hand firmly against Azzi’s hip, cutting off her space. Azzi tried to drive left, but Paige stuck with her, their bodies brushing as they collided. Azzi pivoted, stepping back into a mid-range jumper that kissed the front of the rim before bouncing in.
"3-0," Azzi teased, grinning. "You’re looking a little slow tonight, P. You tired?"
"Yeah?" Paige’s voice dripped with mock sweetness as she checked the ball again. Azzi tried to hit another step back but it bounded off the rim. 
They checked the ball and Paige jab-stepped to her left, forcing Azzi to shift her weight, then crossed over and exploded to the basket with a quick step. Azzi stayed close, but Paige used her body to shield the ball, finishing with a layup off the glass. 
"3-1," Paige said, flashing a smug grin.
Azzi grabbed the ball, her competitive spirit ignited even though this was supposed to be about Paige. As they continued to play, their movements grew sharper and more physical. Paige backed Azzi down on one possession, bumping her with her shoulder before spinning for a fadeaway jumper. Azzi countered by cutting through the lane with a quick first step, using her speed to slip past Paige for an easy floater.
The teasing never stopped.
"Didn’t know I signed up for wrestling practice," Azzi quipped after Paige body-checked her on a drive.
"Yeah yeah," Paige shot back. "You’re not getting past me again."
Azzi grinned. "Oh, I’m passing you right now." She immediately drove left, brushing past Paige’s hip as she hooked her slightly and finishing with a reverse layup that left Paige shaking her head.
The game became more intense with each possession. Azzi swatted one of Paige’s layup attempts, the ball flying out of bounds. Paige groaned.
"You’ve never done that in your life" Paige said, narrowing her eyes as she retrieved the ball.
"First time for everything," Azzi replied, standing tall and grinning.
Paige responded by hitting a deep three-pointer, holding her follow-through for much longer than necessary as the ball sailed through the hoop. "9-8," Paige said, her smirk confident.
On the next possession, she used a quick hesitation move to fake Azzi out of position, draining another jumper.
As the score climbed, so did the tension. The gym felt warmer, their breaths coming faster, their earlier shower completely undone by the sweat dripping down their faces. Every drive and every block brought them closer, their bodies brushing and colliding in ways that blurred the lines between competition and something more.
At one point, Azzi’s hand lingered on Paige’s waist as she pivoted for a shot, and Paige didn’t pull away. Instead, she smirked, leaning in slightly as she jab-stepped.
"You getting distracted on me?" Paige teased, her voice low.
" Nope," Azzi fired back, though her flushed cheeks suggested otherwise.
Eventually they were tied at 17, both breathing heavily as they sized each other up. Paige had the ball tucked against her hip, her gaze locked on Azzi.
"What do I get when I win?" Paige asked, her tone playful but laced with a hint of something more.
Azzi’s eyes narrowed, her lips curving into a smile. "You’re not going to win."
Paige chuckled, her confidence unshaken. "Guess we’ll see."
She dribbled slowly, luring Azzi to sleep on defense before hitting her with a fast combo move before she drove hard to the basket, finishing with a finger roll that danced around the rim before dropping in.
"18-17," Paige said, smirking as she checked the ball. "Told you, I don’t lose."
It was Azzi’s ball again and once she caught the ball back from Paige, she stepped back, shooting a quick three-pointer that hit nothing but the bottom of the net.
"19-18," Azzi said, mimicking Paige’s earlier tone. She smirked, stepping closer. "What am I getting when I win?"
Paige grinned, walking up to Azzi until they were nearly nose to nose. “A little something to remind you how giving I can be.”
Azzi shook her head, laughing. "You’re full of it."
The game continued, both of them refusing to give an inch to the other but finally Paige ended it with a three that rattled in after she hit Azzi with a hesi pullup. 
"That’s game," Paige said, her voice triumphant as she grabbed her water bottle.
Azzi was smiling as she sipped from her own bottle, her grin unusually big. Paige noticed and raised an eyebrow. "You do know you just lost, right?"
Azzi kept smiling, stepping closer until they were chest to chest. "Yeah," she said softly. "But you weren’t thinking about anything else besides this game, were you?"
Paige blinked, her grin softening as realization hit her. For the first time in a while, she hadn’t been consumed by the weight of everyone’s expectations and opinions of how she was playing. She’d just been... playing.
"Huh," Paige said, her voice quieter. "I guess not."
Azzi smirked, leaning in close, her voice dropping to a teasing whisper. "See? I told you I’d help."
Paige leaned in, her lips brushing against Azzi’s, but before she could close the gap, Azzi stepped back with a mischievous grin.
"Nah," Azzi said, grabbing her water bottle and bag. "I’m a sore loser. You don’t get a kiss after beating me."
Paige laughed. "The winner’s supposed to get something."
Azzi tilted her head, her voice dipping into a sultry tone. "Oh? Is that what you want from me baby?"
Paige nodded, her smile growing as she stepped closer, but Azzi turned on her heel, heading for the door.
"You gotta work for it," Azzi called over her shoulder, her voice dripping with playful challenge as she walked away.
Paige stood there, dumbfounded, watching her girlfriend’s retreating figure. Despite everything she’d been feeling earlier, all the negativity and doubt, Azzi had completely unraveled it and left nothing but the Paige who loved to play basketball more than anything.
"Wait!" Paige called after her, grinning. "So, I’m really not getting any tonight?"
Azzi turned, walking backward as her smirk deepened. "Maybe," she teased, her eyes gleaming. "But like I said you gotta work for it P."
Paige chuckled, shaking her head as she jogged after her, a lightness settling in her chest. She couldn’t stop the grin spreading across her face, her eyes fixed on Azzi.
"Thank the gods," Paige muttered under her breath, her voice laced with a mix of humor and adoration, "and every single heaven above for Azzi Fudd."
The thought made her laugh softly to herself as she caught up, ready to follow wherever Azzi led her next.
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blessedbyahuntress · 3 days ago
Text
Blessed by a Trickster
Chapter Fifteen: You Know What Hurts? When You Don't Shut Up-
Prev/Next
A/N: Y'all ready for the Underworld saga! Trust me, I don't think you'll be prepared for what I have in store for "Monster".
Warnings: Basically the whole chapter is just Reader having a breakdown, so yeah.
Word Count: 990
Listen to: The Underworld
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You held out a jar for Odysseus to pour half of the potion in. The liquid was thick, and when it sloshed around, you thought you could disentangle a few whispered words.
You shook your head. What a stupid thought. 
Walking along one side of the ship, Odysseus at the other side, you tipped the jar. The potion spilled out, turning the water a milky white.
Stalactites. Those were the first things you noticed. 
The water was glowing now, the only thing illuminating your path forward. You felt someone grab your hand and give it a tight squeeze. 
“Friends.” You snapped your head toward Odysseus, who now stood at the helm. “Circe’s instructions were clear. No matter what we hear, full speed ahead, until we find the prophet.”
Your captain gestured for you to come to his side as he continued, “my comrades, this land confuses your mind. So no matter who we find…” 
You jogged to where Odysseus was waiting. “Full speed ahead, until we find the prophet,” you finished.
Your captain gave an approving nod. “Good.”
And then the shrieks started.
You raised your hands to cover your ears from the horrible noise, yet the only thing your mind could seem to focus on was the howling.
Odysseus caught your wrist, looking deep into your eyes; you knew he could hear them, and that they were more unbearable for you than anyone else on the ship. He didn’t stop you as you curled into a ball.
“All I hear are screams,” you managed. “Everytime I dare to close my eyes.”
One of the cries had a recognizable voice, and you choked back a sob. Your little sister had died in a ranch fire- you could still remember the moment like it was yesterday, and not twelve years ago.
“I no longer dream,” you heard Odysseus say, but it seemed like he was far away from you. “Only nightmares of those who died.”
You rocked forward and backward slightly, tears streaming down your face as you practically relived the scene where Poseidon had drowned so many of your friends. “Nothing’s what it seems,” you wailed.
You were aware of someone’s presence next to you, taking your head to rest on their chest as they stroked your hair gently, murmuring comforting words. You relaxed as the sound of a beating heart anchored you to what was going on now, and slowly you turned your head up, catching a sight of Polites as he smiled down at you. He whipped your tears with his thumb, a familiar gesture as you leaned into his hand.
“This land confuses your mind,” he reminded you softly, as if trying to tell you that all the deaths you had caused were not your fault.
You burst out into fresh tears, sobs racking your body as you heard as clearly as Polities, “five hundred fifty-eight men who died under your command.”
Polites looked up from your face, eyes locking with Eurylochus. 
Polites pulled you in even closer, now positioning you so that your head rested in his lap. You went still. 
“All I hear are screams,” you mumbled, looking up at your friend despairingly. “Every time I dare to close my eyes.”
To your surprise, he leaned down to whisper in your ear, “I no longer dream. Only nightmares of those who’ve died,” he admitted. 
You slowly pulled yourself up into a sitting position and wrapped your arms around Polites. He decided right there and then that he wanted you to be the last thing he ever saw. 
“Nothing’s as it seems,” you whimpered.
“Nothing’s as it seems,” Polites agreed. 
The moment seemed to last for only a heartbeat before you pulled away.
“Waiting.” You didn’t have to strain to hear the voice. 
“That voice,” you murmured. “It can’t be.”
Yet there she was- Odysseus’s mother, your own mother figure, was sitting on the same old stool you’d offered her years ago to replace, time and time again, for the wood was splintering and rotting. Her white hair was the same color as the milky water you caught a glimpse of as you rose to your feet. 
“Waiting,” she said. You exchanged a look with Odysseus; he hadn’t moved from where he was standing next to you. 
“Mom?” Your captain’s voice sounded almost as broken as your own. 
“Waiting. Odysseus, Y/N, when you come home I’ll be waiting.” The old woman looked past you happily, focusing on a spot beyond your shoulder. “Even if you two are the last things I see, I’ll be waiting.”
“We’re right here,” you said softly, taking a small step closer. 
“Mom.” Odysseus waved a hand in front of her face carefully. “Can’t you see?”
“We’re waiting,” you and Odysseus uttered in unison. 
“I took too long,” you heard Odysseus whisper. 
“I’ll always love you.” You wanted to reach out, to tell her that you loved her too.
“We ventured too far,” you said, tilting your head away from your captain so he wouldn’t see that you were silently crying. 
“I’ll stay in your heart,” the old woman promised.
There was a long stretch of silence, the only haven you would have from the screams for a while.
“Bye, Mom,” Odysseus mumbled.
And then the howling was back, along with your pounding headache and heavy guilt that pressed against you.
“All I hear are screams!” Your words came out as more of a yell. You pressed your hands to your temples. “Everytime I dare to close my eyes!”
And then Eurylochus was behind you, taking your hands away from your head and massaging your temples with soothing circles instead.
This caused your voice to lower a fraction. “I no longer dream, only nightmares of those who’ve died. Nothing’s what it seems. But here in the underworld your past is always close behind.”
“Your past is always close behind,” you heard the rest of the crew echo. “Down in the Underworld!” 
Taglist: @barrythestrawberry041 @thereigningking @m-carriaga2021 @jackintheboxs-world
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lady-pug · 11 hours ago
Text
Written Between the Lines
Chapter VII - Fill Me With Love
Summary: After catching sight of you several times being a sweetheart towards different children, Aemond wishes for a babe of his own, to finally take a step further into growing your family, and he is hells bent on doing it tonight.
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Word count: 3,8k
Warnings: canon-typical incest (uncle-niece); smut, so minors DNI; oral sex (female receiving); p in v sex; fingering; switch!Aemond (in this chapter he is truly dom!Aemond); breeding kink
Notes: Okay, this was kind of rushed, but it is because I’m about to go on a trip until the new year and I didn’t want to end the year without updating this story. So here it! Please let me know what you think!!
Anyway, as always, if you spot any mistakes, please feel free to warn me and I’ll correct it right away, and feedback is always welcome and appreciated. Happy holidays, and I’ll see you all next year! Enjoy!
Next chapter | Previous chapter | Masterlist | Read on AO3
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It was driving him mad. Absolutely downright insane. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.
In all his years living inside the Red Keep in King’s Landing, Aemond had never realized how many children inhabited the castle along with everyone else. Most of the time the children, especially the babes, were kept separated from court, and even when the older ones did attend, they remained quiet because, as his mother had once told him many years ago, ‘children were meant to be seen, not heard’. 
Even then, he didn’t typically interact with most of the kids. Sure, he enjoyed the company of his sister’s children, Jaehaera in particular, but other than that he did not really speak to other people below adolescence. What he didn’t account for was how much you seemed to spend your time with children.
Everywhere he went you seemed to have a child not too far from you; either a babe in your arms, a toddler propped on your hip or a child clinging to your skirts, you seemed to attract every child in the vicinity. When you weren’t helping Rhaenyra with Visenya, cradling her close to your chest, you were teaching Aegon and Viserys how to bond with their dragons. You even started spending time with Helaena’s children; more than once he caught you in her chambers, playing with Jaehaerys or brushing Jaehaera’s hair, or bouncing Maelor in your arms. Sometimes he even saw you interacting with one of the servants’ children, giving them your undivided attention.   
The most unexpected for him, however, was what the sight of you with a child, whoever they were, made him feel. Anytime Aemond would lay eyes on you laughing and making silly faces towards a child, or consoling a crying infant his heart clenched and something in his stomach twisted. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, couldn’t properly give this feeling a name, until the day he caught you bouncing Visenya in your arms, humming under your breath. A lullaby, he recognized, one his own mother used to sing to him many years ago. That’s when it hit him fullforce, the meaning behind the heat pooling low in his stomach. spreading to his chest, crawling up his neck and warming his cheeks. 
He was horny. 
Aemond was honestly taken aback by how turned on the thought of you with a child, more specifically, with his child made him feel. He felt his cock twitch at the image his mind conjured: you, carrying his child in your womb, stomach swollen and heavy. As your hums gave way to words, outright singing to your sister now, the image changed, now another child, a toddler, a mop of white hair atop their head and eyes so much like yours, sprawled at your side on a bench, head on your lap as you read to both them and the child still inside you, book propped on your prominent bump. The strength of the pleasure brought to him by the thought was so great he had to lean against the nearest wall in order not to fall over.
The two of you had been married for over a moon already and his seed had yet to take root, as the ladies in court insisted on reminding you, much to your visible displeasure. It wasn’t for lack of trying though, oh no, but sometimes these types of things take time, as Rheanyra reminded you once. But even her words could not prevent the disappointment that had taken over you once your moonsblood arrived a little over a sennight after the wedding. Aemond had never seen you this disappointed before, not even when your mother had scolded you after finding out you had kicked Aegon years before (even though he very much deserved it), and you had spent the rest of the day in quiet solitude. He had eventually found you sulking in the Keep’s library, thumbing at a book he knew you had already read, having skipped supper.
“Wife.” he had greeted “You were missed at dinner.”  
“I am not hungry.” you pouted, and had you not been thoroughly upset, he would have found it charming.
Sighing, he had taken a seat next to you, gently grabbing one of your hands and pulling it towards his lips. 
“We can try again.” he laid a soft kiss on your knuckles.
“I know. I just-” it was your turn to sigh then “I was just so hopeful.”
“I know. As was I.” his thumb started caressing the back of your hand “But we keep trying. We do not stop trying until I have fucked my seed so far into your womb it has no other choice but to take root.”
You chuckled at his antics, growing flustered at his crass words.
“And besides,” he placed a short yet hungry kiss upon your lips “it is not like the ‘trying’ part is displeasurable for either of us, if my memory serves me right. You were actually quite…” he mockingly paused, pretending to look for the right word “vocal about it last night.”
Although your cheeks were flaming with embarrassment, you had kissed him fiercely in return, not necessarily disagreeing with him. He then proceeded to take you right there in the library, with you bent over the hardwood table, the book you had been previously reading long forgotten. Aemond was sure grandmaester Orwyle had entered the room at some point but he couldn’t bring himself to care a single bit, too distracted by his cock nestled upon the damp warmth of your cunt.  
At the time he hadn’t realized how much the thought of you carrying his child impacted him, but now? It was all he could think about. It was a raw, almost primal need, one which set his blood aflame, like dragon fire. He wanted, no, needed it. At the same time, a softness enveloped him when such thoughts arose in his mind, him caressing your swollen stomach and whispering sweet nothings to your, his, unborn child; sleeping on his back with a tiny babe sprawled on his naked chest, right over his heart, one of his large palms over their back, covering the entirety of their little body and protecting them from the dangers of the world. 
It all came to a head one afternoon, his sparring session with Ser Criston running later than he predicted, causing him to miss lunch with you. So he set out to find you, intent on making up for his mistake, but he couldn’t find you anywhere inside the palace. After inquiring about your whereabouts to some of the servants they pointed him in the direction of the gardens. And the sight that greeted him almost knocked him off his feet.
You were sitting under the weirwood tree, your back against the harsh bark, Helaena slumped against the tree next to you, deep in slumber. Jaehaerys and Jaehaera laid at your side, both with a head laying against each of your thighs, while you cradled baby Maelor with one arm against your chest. Your free hand was interwoven in his niece’s soft locks, caressing her scalp. For a moment he figured all three children, like their mother, were asleep in your lap, and although that seemed to be the case for both his nephews, he soon heard Jaehaera’s soft, tiny voice speak up to you, her eyelids heavy and droopy.
“I ran into Lady Baratheon after tea.” she said “Me and brother were running in the halls and I bumped into her legs.” 
Aemond watched as your lips curled into a smirk, picturing the two children running around and causing mischief, much like the two of you once did in your youth.
“And what did she say?” you questioned.
“She went” and the little girl produced a scoffing sound, almost ridiculous coming from her “and said we should not be running, that we could hurt someone.”
It was your turn to scoff then, as if the notion that two small children could hurt a grown adult was ludicrous. 
“She looked angry and said I should stop behaving like that, that it was too un… unla…”
“Unladylike?” you supplied for her, your smirk no longer present, a gloom look crossing over your features.
“Yes, that!” she giggled, then her expression turned slightly sour “She said it is no wonder I am so q… qu…” 
“Queer?” you gritted out.
“Yes, that I am queer just like my mother.”
Aemond felt his blood boiling in his veins at the jab directed not only at his niece, but also at his sister. It was true that Helaena was different, had always been, but it never ceased to enrage him how the people, and mostly, the women on court would treat her. The younger ones would exclude her from their endeavors at best, and at worst they would pretend to be interested in her and then proceed to whisper foul things about her behind her back. The older ladies would often treat her like a child, infantilizing her and speaking to her in a sickeningly sweet and paused tone that he knew she loathed. It was one of the reasons he was so thankful for the way you treated his sister; unlike his mother, who pretended nothing was different about her, you acknowledged it and embraced Helaena’s differences, the things that make her who she is. He was glad that Helaena found a dear friend in you, not failing to notice that since your arrival at the Keep she had been visibly more relaxed and less lonely.
“Jaehaera.” he had barely noticed that your fingers had stilled their movement in her hair or that your expression had hardened “You know what you should do next time Lady Baratheon, or anyone for that matter, says something like that about you or your mother?” 
“What?”
Your previous smirk returned to your features then, mischief swimming in your eyes.
“You kick them in the shin.” you shook your head “Or better yet, you call for me and I will do it for you, that way you will not get in trouble.”
For a single, brief moment, Aemond could have sworn his heart ceased beating, were it not for the loud ringing in his ears. Warmth spread through his body, starting from his chest and travelling up his neck, to his cheeks heating up the tip of his ears, all the while that same blood boiled in his veins, traveling down and making his cock twitch.
For a fleeting moment he felt lousy for the reaction such a tender moment between you, his wife, and his beloved niece arose in him, but the feeling was brief, for the very next moment he was rushing to your shared chambers, like a man on a mission.
He was hells bent on getting you with child that very day, and the Seven be damned if they didn’t give him what he wanted.
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Your afternoon spent with your good sister and her children left you feeling refreshed, regardless of the foul feeling your conversation with Jaehaera elicited in you. If you were being quite honest, some of the women in court irked you, always meddling into other people’s business and treating others, including those of higher stations than them, as if lesser than. Lady Cassandra Baratheon was one of those women, so you didn’t feel a single drop of remorse about the advice you had given to your cousin, now niece.
The only thing about your day that had not been so enjoyable was the fact that your lord husband had skipped lunch. It wasn’t so much that his absence itself bothered you, although you did enjoy spending time in his company, it was just that at times he got so in his head that he often forgot to take care of himself. A few hours into the afternoon you had thought you had caught a glimpse of him in the outskirts of the garden but where you were expecting him to join the lot of you, he had completely vanished by the time you properly glanced his way. 
That was over a half hour ago, where you now strided towards your chambers to clean up for supper.
Or that would have been your plan, had you not been surprised by a warm body practically colliding into you the moment you crossed the threshold, one large hand tangling in your hair and the other snaking around your waist. Lips captured your own in a hungry, messy kiss, teeth clashing and a warm tongue brushing over your bottom lip and into your mouth.
“Ābrazȳrys, finally.” he moaned, pulling back only a fraction, just enough to look at you for a moment before connecting your lips again.
“V-Valzȳrys…” you tried speaking as he pulled you further into the room and pressed you even more against himself, closing the door behind you, but his kiss was relentless, his lips moving to your jaw and down your neck, titling your head to give him better access to your skin. 
It was then that you noticed the state of him: his hair down, a few messy strands out of place, the first few buttons of his doublet undone and something hard was poking your navel. Pulling back a bit, as much as his grip on you would allow, you noticed that his breeches were unlaced and pulled down slightly, his cock out, hard and glistening, which told you he had been tugging at it for at least a while now.
He pulled you back in, mouth latching against your shoulder as he sucked and nibbled on the skin.
“Aem…” it was when you felt his hands moving to your back, clawing at the laces of your dress, that you pulled back and held his cheeks in your hands, forcing him to keep his gaze on you “Aemond, what has gotten into you?”
He sighed then, leaning into your palms, before coming closer and leaning his forehead against yours.
“I am putting a child into your womb tonight, my love.” his warm fanning against your lips, his words making your heart skip a beat “I do not care how long it takes, ot how many times I have to fuck that sweet cunt of yours, my seed is taking root inside you tonight.”
It was your turn to kiss him desperately then, something primal fueling your actions. Something about the way he spoke, about what he spoke of, lit a fire in your stomach that pulsed in your core. He met you in the middle with equal fervor, his tongue tangling with yours as he resumed his task.
He turned you around then, pushing you towards the foot of the bed. His hands were a contrast with the way the rest of his body was moving, gently moving your hair out of the way so he could nibble on the skin of your exposed neck harshly. His other hand softly untangled the laces of your dress, all the while he grinded his exposed cock against your clothed ass.
“What brought this on, if I may ask?” you asked breathlessly, yet still curious about his behavior.
“Seeing you, with them,” he moaned and grinded into you more forcefully at the thought, and you could feel his cock twitch violently against your behind “I want that for us, for you.”
You softened then, a warm and fuzzy feeling taking over your heart. You wanted that too, as you had once told him, you wanted a family of your own, you wanted to share this with him. And it seemed he wanted it just the same. 
You couldn’t dwell on it for too long though, because soon enough your dress was loose enough for him to push it off your shoulders, the fabric pooling around your feet, quickly followed by your underclothes. You went to turn around but a pair of large hands on your waist stopped your movements. 
“Stay.” he whispered against your ear, and you could do nothing but nod.
The sound of heavy fabric rustling behind you let you know that his own clothes were being discarded, which was confirmed when you felt the entire plane of his naked chest pressed against your back, his heavy cock nestled on your ass as he wrapped both arms around your middle.
“Ñuha ābrazȳrys, ñuha dāria.” he spoke against the shell of your ear before nipping at your earlobe “Muña hen ñuha riñar.”
It made your heart clench and heat climb up your spine, a gush of something warm spreading between your thighs. 
His hands moved then, softly caressing your skin as they went before settling, one on your lower back and the other right between your shoulder blades. A light of pressure of his palms caused your knees to bend, hitting the soft mattress, your upper body bending at the waist as you placed your hands on the bed to help support your weight. He knelt behind you, gently rearranging you so you scooted further on up on the bed.
For a moment nothing happened and time seemed to pause around you. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed besides the two of you in this very moment. 
Then you felt it, his hands holding your thighs as his hot breath tingled against your glistening folds before his tongue made contact with your cunt, licking a broad stripe against your folds. A whimper escaped your lips as his tongue circled your clit, moving back up and circling your entrance in the same manner, dipping only the very tip inside. His movements were slow yet sharp, precise, like he knew your body inside and out.
You whined, him mouthing at the entirety of your cunt, pulling your folds between his lips, before his lips latched onto your clit, sucking gently. Your arms started trembling, forcing you down to your stomach with your forearms flat on the mattress, his grip keeping your ass up. He plunged not one but two fingers inside you, eliciting a sharp cry from you as you tried to move away from him, though again his grip on your thighs wouldn’t let you. He waited a moment for you to adjust, one of his thumbs gently caressing your skin as he whispered sweet nothings in high valyrian, before slowly, very gently starting to move his fingers out of your cunt before pushing in again.
In a few moments he was clawing against your warm walls as if his life depended on it, probing, searching for that spot that made your mind spin and knocked the breath out of your chest. Hot molten pleasure was pooling in your stomach, spreading through your limbs and up your spine when the pads of his fingers brushed against it, sending a twinge of pleasure travelling all through your body. The mounting pressure in your navel kept growing and growing with each pass of his digits, making sweat drip from your brow and heat settle in your cheeks. 
A harsh tug of his lips, sucking harshly on your clit, was what sent you over the edge, the coil snapping and sending waves upon waves of pleasure through you, stealing your breath from your lungs. He barely gave you any time to think, though, the familiar sound of him sucking his fingers clean followed by his cock poking at your entrance. Then you felt two hands settling in each one of your shoulders, pulling you back towards him and onto his cock in one swift thrust, your previous release offering no resistance.
You moaned loudly, your ears ringing as he started pounding into you, his hands moving to your hips. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room as his hips met your ass repeatedly, your own loud whines and his groans and grunts the only other sounds you could make out.
The pleasure was quickly rebuilding, not having fully receded in the first place, but after a few moments he slowed down to a stop, a whine of disappointment ripping from your throat.
“No,” he panted, his own breath stilled “this will not do.”
Your disappointment was short lived however, as he quickly flipped your around, manhandling you on your back and pushing your knees to your chest. He hurriedly thrust inside your cunt again, positioning himself so your legs slotted perfectly over his shoulders and his chest was flush against your own, pushing down on you, before resuming his erratic pace.
It was dizzying, your head was spinning and you could barely catch the words he was speaking against your skin, both his hands cradling the sides of your face as his cock slipped in and out and in and out of you over and over.
“Ñuha dāria, sīr vok,” he groaned, pressing even further into you and, in turn, pressing you even more into the matress “kesā tepagon nyke hen riñar, kessa ao daor?” 
You could only nod, feeling that familiar pressure climbing and coiling ready to burst at any moment. At the same time, an immeasurable wave of love exploded from your heart at the thought, making you clench tightly around him, pulling a hiss from him.
“Tepagon ziry naejot nyke, pār.” his own voice was trembling, one of his hands leaving your face to circle your clit in short sharp circles “G-Give it to me and in turn I will give you however many babes you might want.”
You cried out, the coil of pressure snapping once more and making molten heat, scorching like dragon fire, filling your mind, waves of pleasure radiating from your core to every part of your body, taking over all your senses and enveloping your very being. He was quick to follow, thrusting sloppily into your cunt as his cock twitched violently, shooting ropes of his warm seed, painting your damp walls, his body collapsing over your own.
As you came to your senses you could feel him mouthing gently, almost lazily at the skin around your breast. When he noticed you staring at him he raised his head, his lips meeting your own in a sweet, soft peck.
“Avy jorrāelan, zaldrītsos.” he smiled tiredly, his whole face lighting up beautifully.
“Avy jorrāelan tolī, ñuha zaldrīzes.” you answered in kind.
After a few moments regaining your breath you pushed at his shoulder gently, so he could get off of you, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Where are you going, ābrazȳrys?” he jested, a mocking smirk taking over his features as he thrust his now softening cock shallowly into your cunt “I told you I would get you with child by the end of the night, and I intend on making good on my word.”
By the looks of it, you’d both end up missing supper that evening, as you were in for a long night
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High Valyrian translations: - ābrazȳrys - wife - valzȳrys - husband - ñuha ābrazȳrys, ñuha dāria - my wife, my queen - muña hen ñuha riñar - mother of my children - ñuha dāria, sīr vok - my queen, so perfect - kesā tepagon nyke iā lot hen riñar, kessa ao daor? - you will give me a lot of children, will you not? - tepagon ziry naejot nyke, pār - give it to me, then
Tag List:
@callsignwidow
@sleephereicome
@bitchassgoose
@voguiing
@dibutw
@fruityvampslayer
@garden-in-the-rain
@queen-of-elves
@woodlandwrites
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solar4seekstron · 1 day ago
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Transformers 2007 - Chapter One: Beginnings
Indie Bayverse Transformers Series - Creator: Solar Seeks
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Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six
Content: 18+, basically a battle and interactions to get to know the characters a little more.
TW/Tags: 3rd POV (1st POV wouldn’t work here sorry), Altair is a placeholder for Y/N, This story is self-insert, Multiple deaths, Decapitation, Swearing, Jealous Elita in background, Angry Prowl, Optimus and Altair have a pretty happy relationship.
Notes: Originally the first chapter was going to be all the way to where Sam and Mikaela are taken and the bots will come to save them. The story ending on bee getting captured. OP and Reader having a small argument because reasons. More on that in the next chapter. But I decided that I need to write the story to start off with reader Altair and key points. Like their relationship with everyone and the lead up to arriving to earth.
The second is because I was redoing some lore reading. In the comics Megatron is the one to take Bees voice box. And so in the first chapter he has already lost his voice box. I do plan on doing a flashback to better fletch out the situation and event from the comics in possibly later chapters if it fits since I just learned this.
Third I’ll probably do a rewrite at some point and add a little more once I rewatch the other movies and after I finish the 2nd chapter if I realize I must add more.
Editor: @midnightbears
Chapter One: Beginnings
Location: Unknown Planet - Situation: Battle Between Autobot and Decepticon
It was a full-on Battle. And it was messy. The Decepticons at large as they yelled in almost joy. The planet is windy and full of dirt.
A mission set for the Autobot to find energon gone wrong. The battle is mostly surprising when the skilled shooter Chromia is almost shot by one of the Decepticons.
Who at first was a lot closer to the Decepticons during the fight. Other bigger bots making their way over to help her out.
Crosshiars jumped over a rock, using his cervo and arm to pull his waist up before landing next to her.
Speaking to her while he gets his sniper gun ready. Both kneeling and yelling.
“How many did you counter?” Crosshiars asked. Avoiding a shot that only hit the rock by the side. Chromia then responded. “So far ten. But it seems that more might come!”
Crosshairs peaked a little over the rock before returning to looking at Chromia.
They then heard very large engines and looked toward where the ship was. Ironhide, Prowl, and Jazz soon showing up. Transformering mid-air, joining the fight.
The Decepticons slowly move in circles around them. Jazz led them out of the center.
Trying to find any way to get out of there with the others. But that was starting to prove difficult. The Decepticons there proving to be a little stronger.
Jazz then tries to speak through the comm as his back presses harshly against a large rock bigger than him. One cervo holding his gun while the other digit presses into his comm.
Prowl is on his left while Chromia stays on his right.
“This is First Lieutenant Jazz! We are under attack and need help! Reporting to Autobot base for immediate backup!”
He yelled but the comms weren’t going through Ironhide brought out one of his larger guns and started shooting almost like a madman left and right. Walking forward.
Crosshairs getting behind him as a shield.
Jazz gets upset trying to figure out what’s happening with the signal.
But then he got a comm by another bot. Jazz answering. “Where are you we need help! And have you tried the comms for the base? I can’t reach Optimus!“ he closes the call.
But he soon gets another one by a different comm. Another bot spoke with a strong yet soft voice.
A cybertronian car is making its way closer to the others. Then spoke once more to Jazz through the comm. “The Decepticon Cyclonus cut signals on this planet. He’s been dealt with. I’m the backup now. See you soon jazz.”
The comm closes. Jazz then turned his helm to the side and peaked above the rock to see the Decepticons hiding behind other larger rocks and trees.
The wind is harsh while Chromia and Prowl remain by his side. Ironhide hid behind a large tree and a few rocks, reloading his weapon.
Crosshairs is a lot closer and further than the others and can get a better shot at the Decepticons. Like hitting their shoulder and even getting a few headshots earlier.
He had a huge grin on his dermas the entire time.
As the others continue they soon hear the sound of a car speeding.
Jazz, Prowl, and Ironhide are the ones to turn their helms toward the sound. Soon they saw the car drive up on a larger rock next to the ship.
The car flies and then transforms into a certain bot.
Altair soon appeared in the air with their face plate fully covered by their visors and mouth guard. Anyone who knew them like Ironhide, Crosshairs, and Jazz knows that they’re smiling under that mask.
While in midair, they then pull out two purple guns. All in a fast motion, they point the two guns down and start shooting at the Decepticons below.
Able to get four of them.
Jazz and Chromia cheered while Prowl just scowled under his visors. A frown on his dermas. Chromia and the others were too busy with the shooting.
Once they hit the floor flawlessly once on their legs, Altiar rolled forward smoothly with the guns and started shooting at the others more and more.
Doubledealer noticed them to be Cyclonus. Soon yelling.
“You Autobot scum!!! You killed Cyclonus didn’t you!!!!” In a fit of rage, he started to shoot like an idiot, leaving himself open.
Crosshairs getting a headshot. Covering for Altair as they continue.
Altair started to run further and further into the battle. Being a pretty big bot they’re able to easily take on many of the larger bots who were bigger than Ironhide.
One of the snipers on the Decepticon's side was able to get a good hit on the shoulder.
When the ammo soon ran out. They throw them to the side and then soon pull out their swords. Hiding behind a large rock a few feet ahead of Ironhide.
Who looked over at them from behind.
Altair peaking just a little past the rock to see how many Decepticons are there.
Jazz then spoke through the comms. Unable to speak to Prowl and Chromia even when they’re next to him thanks to the noise of guns and wind. “We move forward!”
They and Ironhide look at each other before nodding.
The four of them move. From their current hiding spot make their way closer to where Crosshairs and Altair are. Able to easily avoid the shootings as they make it to larger trees.
Kneeling and hiding just behind Crosshairs. Altair stayed close to the ground and sneaked closer to one of the Decepticons.
Jazz continues to get closer to Chromia and Prowl.
But a grenade was able to cause them to scatter once it landed in front of Jazz. Getting around more than just in the middle of the field.
When Prowl got behind Ironhide with a tree. Ironhide shooting again.
Prowl would then get a comm call. Seeing it’s not from the base. Prowl answers expecting it to be someone searching for them on another planet or is from the Autobot base.
“This is Officer Prowl of the Autobot cause. This better be our backup!”
He said in a strict and commanding tone.
Only to get more upset when he hears a certain gun specialist bot on the other side.
“Nope! But if you give me the permission I need I can come right in then I’ll save y’all without a second thought!”
Prowl then rolled his optics and responded while his back remained against a large tree.
“Hound we need you to get back to base. We can’t reach it and it’s too dangerous without more. Your team won’t be able to help stand against what we’re dealing with. We need better backup!”
“Well, I’m better backup! Hell, I’m a great backup! I-“
Prowl interrupts him once more. Being almost shot by the side of his helm. The shooting only hit the side of the tree. Then speaking once more when he glanced at the mark on the tree.
Then out of nowhere, a full-on blast of guns started to fire.
“Just go get the backup we need!!!!”
He then hangs up. Peaking by the side seeing Ironhide returning to shooting once more. Prowl groaned and loaded his police gun. Sighing before he peaks over next to the tree once more.
Seeing Jazz jump over a rock and shoot another Decepticon.
Altair was close by decapitating one and kicking another away. Soon getting into another sword battle with a different person.
Jazz then transforms to drive closer. Shooting one of the Decepticons that was behind a small boulder. Then staying down on the other side of the boulder once the other Decepticons start shooting at him.
Reloading his minigun and getting his blaster ready.
Until. ”Ring, Ring, Ring” Jazz a little confused answers the call after turning his blaster back into his cervo then answers. “Optimu-“
”Jazz! Where’s your location I can come to you guys as backup!” Jazz then responded. “No- damn it Hound! Go back to the base and tell them we’re outnumbered. You need to-“
Jazz is then tackled to the side by Chromia right as he’s about to be hit with another grenade.
Jazz then helped her up and the two hid behind a couple of trees together. Jazz kneeled to shield Chromia while she kept shooting. Jazz then responded to the comm.
”Hound this is an order. Go to the base and try to get us back up! Besides you’re not even supposed to be on another planet! You need to leave to get help! You’ll have your chance another time! Now go to the base! That’s an order!!!”
He ends the call. Hound stood there on another planet a good million miles away with a few other Autobots who were just wandering around.
Altair and Ironhide then start to head deeper into the battlefield killing as many cons as they can but the two also notice that these are. The Decepticon's weakest cons. Something is up.
Ironhide and Altair then looked at each other until Altair got a call through the comm.
Altair and Ironhide continue to run to the other Decepticons with the others behind them. Altair answered it. Soon hearing Hound's voice on the other side.
”Altair! Tell that stuck-up Prowl and Lieutenant Jazz to let me join you guys. I’m a great back up and with me, you, and Ironhide on the team. Those scums don’t stand a chance!”
Altair listens to him while still fighting in a sword battle.
Being able to win then hides behind a rock and tree. A second later a Decepticon came to. Try to catch them off guard next to the rock but Altair was faster.
Altair then currently strangling the Decepticon Razorclaw with one arm as they keep listening to Hounds little rant. Razorclaw was having a hard time trying to save himself while Altair was trying to avoid being shot at by the other Decepticons.
Altair then finally responded as they placed their other cervo to their helm. Showing they’re thinking ‘Is he for real right now?’.
“Sorry Hound, but shouldn’t you be with the others back at the base? I mean you were given orders.”
Hound then responded once more.
“Come on I’m a great back up and you still owe me for that kill count. I still want that redraw!”
While he spoke Altair has then grabbed the side of Razorclaws helm tightly. Then twisting his helm in the other direction breaking his neck completely in a fast snap.
Then ripping it off and kicking the body away. Turning back to the other Decepticons once he was finished with a scowel.
Ironhide continues to shoot without much worry while the others keep up with trying to shoot other cons.
While Hound responded, Altair jumped to another tree before being almost shot. Still holding Razorclaws helm before sticking a grenade in it then starts running toward the larger Decepticon there.
Ironhide joining them.
“Yeah, but I have a job to disarm bombs for other teams. So Optimus sent me and now that I hear in a cut-off call to base by Jazz. This can be a good excuse to start killing people!”
Ironhide then joins the call. Having hit a bot with the back of his gun and then shot them.
Altair has thrown the head into one of the larger bots' cervos. Getting killed by the explosion. Altiar then jumps through the explosion with both swords at hand.
Then landing and starts a sword battle against Fang. Ironhide is only a few feet from them as the others join in.
He joined the comm and started to speak to Hound in a tone that was almost calming and cheerful showing they’re both old friends. ”Hound you are a trained soldier! Just do as the others tell ya. Ya know you can’t change Jazz's mind. Well- Unless you’re Prime or Altair.”
Altair then chuckled with a response. M
“Oh please it’s Prowl you gotta deal with when it comes to changing your damn plans. And besides, we’re handling this pretty well! Wouldn’t ya say? Hide!”
They say with a cheer while Ironhide chuckles.
Jazz, Chromia, Prowl, and Crosshairs soon joined around them like a true team. Altair then kills Fang with a stab. Twisting their blade causing his blood to splatter on them.
They then respond with a casual tone while his frame falls back.
“Look Hound you’ll have your chance next time. But for now, just do as the boss says. Which is Jazz.” They finished, their voice almost tired but calm at the end.
They then got into another sword battle with Menasor. Fighting the larger bot as they spoke. Ironhide then finished the conversation while Hound and Altair just listened.
“Don’t worry Hound. You’ll be kicking head before ya know it! Oh, and you better not have eaten my snack back at base!”
The call then ended between the three, with Hound groaning and getting fussy. The Autobots around him getting their ship ready to leave. He reluctantly walked over for them to leave.
Altair and the others continue to shoot and kill as many Decepticons as they can.
Altair then noticed that some of the bots were retreating after they saw them and Jazz. Calcar then gets an upper cervo on Altair.
The two fall down a small hill as he gets a few good punches at Altiar.
The others scream their name but are slowly overwhelmed by more Decepticons. At one point though, Crosshairs and Jazz start killing the bigger bots by getting on them.
Chromia and Prowl stick next to each other while shooting at grenades that the Decepticons try to throw at them.
In the background, Ironhide helps out Jazz with gutting one of the larger bots with his bare cervo.
Altair meanwhile was trying to block punches from Calcar but he was a strong bot and also much younger.
The two bots got into a fistfight while he yelled how he tried to become a knight before the war. Only to realize the knights are the the to abandon their duty like many others. Including Altair.
“I looked up to you as a sparkling! You and Orion Pax but you guys could care less about us poor folks. Tonight. I will give you the gift of joining pri-“
Altair then was able to get the upper hand and turn him over. Being on top now and getting a few good blows at him. He tries to keep speaking but at one point his helm is shot clean off.
His blood splattered onto their face plate. Well, their face mask anyway.
They then stood up. Wiping the blood off their visors then turning their frame towards to Crosshairs. They then nodded to him.
A form of thanks as he then kneeled to them.
The other out to them to help them up. They then took it and got back up with him and the others. Shooting still going on.
They then made their way to the others. Crosshairs and Altair then yell in triumph as they run into battle. Altair can get a good hand at one of the larger bots. Chromia taking in the smaller ones, covering for Jazz.
Prowl continued to run faster and faster into the battlefield. He always seemed annoyed with how Altair fought so casually.
Trying to find a way to give them orders but couldn’t think of anything. The others not paying much while Crosshairs just focused on covering for the others.
At some point, Prowl and Altair's backs were against each other and fighting alongside each other.
Covering for each other while a few Decepticons got closer. Prowl then spoke while Altair continued to slash them with their sword. Prowl doing the shooting.
At one point Prowl shot a cons helm.
Between Altiar and their cervo when they tried to wipe the blood off them.
Altair then stabbed through one of the bots their same size who was behind Prowl after he took the shot. Prowl and Altair watched the con fall back before the two looked at each other.
Altair stared down at him while Prowl looked up at them.
Both with opposite expressions the other can’t see. Prowl with a frown while he couldn’t see. They were smiling. He then spoke in an angry tone.
“I had him.”
”Sure you did boss bot. And what would you have done if you did deal with him?”
They responded casually. Prowl was about to scold them until Altair noticed a bot about to shoot Prowl while lying on the ground from behind.
Altair then placed their arm around him while kneeling for a moment before turning around with prowl against their chest.
Bracing for the impact to be shot.
That’s until they both heard the shots but when Altair released they weren’t shot.
They slowly turned their helm, Prowl peaking over their shoulder to see who it is. They then see that it’s Ironhide who used his large gun to block the shot.
Chromia is the one to shoot the Decepticon in the helm. Just as they notice more Decepticons coming their way from afar.
Altair standing straight no longer holding Prowl. Who just looked at Jazz and Chromia. Still next to them.
Ironhide next to the. Crosshairs casually makes his way next to Ironhide while holding his sniper gun and letting it lean against his shoulder.
Chromia standing in front of Ironhide just a few feet ahead and Jazz standing next to her while looking at his arm.
He then groaned in frustration while his fingers kept tapping at a screen hologram showing on his arm. This causes the others to look at him. Jazz then spoke as he kept pressing buttons.
”I just can’t reach base. We will just have to return with what we have and return to the base. And pray to Primus that we find more energon for at least another planet after. These damn Decepticons just keep appearing on each planet we go to!”
As he spoke Crosshairs checked the amount of bullets in his sniper. Ironhide rested his large gun against his shoulder while he spoke. Chromia just looked at him.
Altair checks out their swords seeing how bloody they are while Prowl, while not obvious under his visors.
He side-opticing Altiar while they didn’t seem to pay him much mind.
Ironhide then responded. Causing the other optics to be on him now. “I hate to say it. But the best thing we can just do now is retreat. We can’t keep fighting against these bots like this. A damn hour has already passed. Hound probably got stuck or something.”
Altair and Chromia nodded in agreement. Crosshairs didn’t seem too interested in what he was saying.
Prowl just crossed his arms and thought. But seemed way more annoyed than worried. Altair then looks at Jazz before speaking.
Speaking before Prowl even has a chance to speak. So he looked at them angrily while they spoke.
“Ironhide is right. There might not be a lot but we can still survive with what we got. With any luck the other Autobots were able to find even more. Better chances than us. So, let's return before these Decepticons get any closer. Alright?”
They looked at everyone else. Who just sighed. Then out of nowhere, a grenade called their attention.
Realizing even more Decepticons are coming. All of them turned their helms toward the explosion. It happening a few feet away behind Altair and Prowl.
And so Jazz sighed and held the bridge of his visors. The others looked back at him.
Then raising his cervo before pointing at the ship on the way back. “Alright, alright, Full retreat team. Let’s go.”
Crosshairs then sighed. His helm leaned back before turning around while walking next to Ironhide. Who turned around while putting his large gun back to be behind his back.
Chromia starts moving forward with her pedes turning into wheels.
Prowl puts his guns away while Altair spins their swords for a good moment then flawlessly puts them back into their sword handles.
They all make their way to the ship. Soon transform and drive alongside together while the yells of the Decepticons can be faintly heard in the background.
Altair passed Prowl who was a bit slower than everyone.
All making it to the ship and getting on board right away. Everyone gets into place on the small ship. Jazz and the others run into the main room to control the ship.
Jazz gets into the captain's chair while the others go to the others' seats getting the engine started. The ship is hit a little by a grenade as the Decepticons get closer.
Crosshairs then spun to face Jazz and put his cervos together as he pleaded. “Oh please, please let me shoot them!”
Jazz just sighed. His helm made a full circle motion.
Going up and then down to face the side before waving his cervo. “Might as well. Means killing more while in the process.”
Crosshairs then yells a Yes while Ironhide and Chromia are heard chuckling. Altair focuses on the ship balancing as it rises. Prowl doing the same and groaning in annoyance.
Crosshairs soon have the weapons of the ship ready and start shooting at the Decepticons below. The many cons soon ran for their lives like a bunch of little ants.
As the ship continues to rise. Crosshairs wasn’t holding back anytime soon. Even laughing like a madman.
Everyone else casually doing their job on the ship while Jazz continues to give orders.
Eventually, the ship is high enough to start going into space. Crosshairs soon get sad and fussy when he can’t shoot any more Decepticons.
Jazz then puts in the location for the Autobot base while also putting the ship on autopilot. He leans back and tries to relax in his captain's chair.
The others leaned back a bit in their chairs and stretched their arms and legs.
Prowl would just lean back a little as he watches forward. Being in the middle of everyone else’s chairs.
Ironhide then looks forward into space before getting to work on his gun that was shot. Chromia doing the same with her weapon.
Jazz remained neutral before leaning to the side.
Resting the side of his helm against his cervo. He’s tired. Anyone can tell that. He then glanced at the others. Looking down, seeing they’re doing their own thing.
Crosshairs just staring off into space.
His optics soon sets on Altair. Who just sat there for a moment before looking at their reflection through the window of the ship.
They are the most covered in blood. But doesn’t seem too bothered. The Six of them watched as they got closer and closer to the base. It only takes a few more minutes to get to them.
Everyone soon had a warm smile and looked at each other. Altair and Jazz keeping their visors and masks on.
Their frame is still as they watch the main Autobot base ship get closer and closer.
———————————————————————————-
Location: Autobot Base Ship - Status: Expanded
The ship holding Jazz and the team soon fly into the main ship base while other bots walk around. The ship then landed deep into the larger ship.
Jazz and the others start walking out the door for the entrance of the ship.
Jazz took the lead while the others walked behind him.
The other bots pay their respects to him as they pass by. Jazz made his way to the ship's main control room.
As they walked the bots who’d pass by would both nod their head in respect toward them. While a few of them did it to the five of them others fully six.
The others who didn’t only at times gave Altair more uncertain looks. While the bots that look much older still paid their respects.
Once inside the base and heading through the halls of the ship. Bots pass by to nod their helms. Jazz then spoke.
“Alright bots, you know the drill. I’ll speak to Optimus and you all give in your info one by one. I’ll let Prime know it was a semi-success but at least we got enough energon to last another three weeks. Understood?”
The five then responded. “Yes, Lieutenant Jazz.”
They all continued. Getting closer and closer. Chromia can feel her exhaustion finally catching up with her.
Ironhide let out a huff of air as he felt his lower back start to ache. Crosshiars felt his legs and arms slowly feeling sore. Though he tried to ignore it.
Prowl was just ignoring the mild scrapes on his shoulder and arm.
As for Altair. Still mostly covered in blood and only a couple of scrapes on their arm and waist. Being the dirtiest out of them all. While not anxious.
They do feel their self get worried and curious at the same time.
As will be shown why now.
Jazz then pressed the buttons to open the door. Looking down at the passcode, pressing so casually.
Once the door opened, they all then walked in. They’re met with silence at first but while they walked many bots waved hello to them.
Saying such words as Welcome back or How was the mission?
Once they got closer, the view of Optimus Prime was seen in his seat as the captain of the ship. Elita was next to him as she appeared to be speaking.
Optimus has his mouth guard on and his optics focused. He was looking over data and seemed to be typing in it. That’s until he notices them all.
He then gave Elita the data pad. Who looked at Altair.
Physically looking down at them with an almost frowned expression. Altair just looks away. Looking down as Optimus makes his way down to the floor to the others.
His deep voice is then heard as he speaks to the team.
“I hope the mission went well for you guys, unlike last time. And have you all heard from the Jolts team? They haven’t responded or reached out after a while.”
Jazz then stood a little straighter then spoke.
“The Decepticon Cyclonus cut the comms line at some point while we were hunting. So most likely before we were attacked once more by Decepticons. We were able to get enough energon. So better than last time. But.”
Jazz noticed the way Optimus narrowed his optics at him. Not out of anger but out of worry. Even if others couldn’t tell.
Altair has glanced at Jazz through their visors. The others mostly looked at Optimus the whole time he spoke. Jazz then continued.
“It keeps getting harder and harder to deal with just us as a team Prime. They give us their weakest and then more show up. We barely made it out. Luckily we had Altair, Crosshairs, and Ironhide but what if we don’t next time?”
Chromia nodded in agreement. Looking down as she glanced at Arcee and Elita who stood there.
Waiting for her. Optimus seemed like he was about to speak until he got a comm call. Finally speaking. “One moment, please.”
He then turned his frame to the side a little. Answering the call. “This is Optimus.”
It was Jolt on the other side of the line.
“Optimus. Apologies for not answering or reaching to you out sooner. Hound informed along with a few others that comms were cut thanks to one of the Decepticons. We’re not sure if they’re still alive. We were only able to help each other except one team. Unknown if they’re alive as well. We’re on our way to you now that the comms are working once more.”
Optimus closed his optics for a moment before opening them once more. “Thank you Jolt. We shall await your return.” The comm ends.
Optimus then fully faces Jazz once more. During the call, Altair has placed their cervo over one of their sword handles.
Waiting to hear if it was an emergency. Ironhide glanced at them and placed a cervo on their shoulder.
Telling them through his optics, they have fought enough for the day. Altair calming down a little. That’s when Optimus finished the call.
”We shall speak after you get some rest, old friend. You all can send in your reports later tomorrow.” Optimus spoke as he placed his larger cervo on his shoulder.
Jazz feels an almost form of comfort. Looking up at him with tired optics before giving a simple nod.
Optimus then stands a little straighter and looks over the rest of them.
”You all did well today. Go rest now and we shall discuss the next plan or mission later on.” Everyone gave a nod and said at the same time. “Yes Sir.”
The Ironhide and Optimus share a glance for a moment before he, Chromia, and Jazz start walking away. Prowl tries to speak to Optimus, only to be stopped by Optimus's cervo. Optimus then turns his helm before speaking. “You have your orders. You’re exhausted. Go sleep Prowl.”
Prowl furrowed its optic ridges behind his visors before turning around and leaving to the same door as the others.
Leaving Altair with Optimus. Both knew why the two were still there.
Optimus then glanced at Elita. Who stood there since Arcee went to join Chromia. He then looked back at Altair. Who was currently waiting for his orders. Elita tried to make it look like she didn’t care. Altair didn’t make it obvious but they made sure to glance at her.
Side opticing at her knowing she can get too interested.
Optimus then looked back at you. Speaking in an almost whisper-like tone. Slowly nodding his helm as he spoke. “Let’s go.”
Optimus then walked past them. Altair then turns their frame and starts following him. Keeping a distance as he walked forward. The two continue forward until they reach a meeting room.
Once at the front of the door. Optimus then presses in the passcode. The door soon opened. He then steps aside for Altair to enter first. They do so with their cervo still placed on top of one of their sword handles. Optimus watching them before joining behind them.
Then pressing into the passcode with his digit on the other side. The door then closed. Optimus turned to fully look at Altair. Who stood there looking over the table.
Their helm low. Showing they’re deep in thought. Optimus's mouthguard then retracts. Disappearing while he makes his way towards. Them. Placing a gentle cervo on their shoulder. This causes them to look up at him. He then spoke.
”What did he tell you?”
Altair looked back at the table. Their cervo once on their sword handle moved to grab something from their back. In a hidden pocket part of their frame. They pull out a drawing. Made out of some form of a paper-like object with greyness and some energon blood on it.
They placed it in his cervo that was out before them, showing he was waiting to hold something. He then scanned the strange paper.
Though the two didn’t know what it was. He then makes his way around the table.
So then he’s on the other side of it. He then puts the paper down. Then sits in the chair there. Altair doing the same when Optimus gave them a nod.
Optimus and Altair stare at each other for a moment longer. That’s until Altair finally pulled back their visors and mouthguard.
Their bright yellow optics shinning almost bright for a moment. That’s when the two share a gentle smile.
Their optics soften for a little before Optimus speaks.
”As always, you pull through old friend. Bringing everyone back.” Altair let out a soft chuckle. Continuing to stare at him before speaking.
”I’m your oldest friend Optimus. Could you ever think any less?”
The two remained silent for a moment longer. Optimus looking at the paper. “This…planet. It could be the clue to the cube. But why does it look so familiar?” His helm remained turned looking toward the paper.
Who then had a serious expression on their faceplate before speaking. “It’s Earth, Optimus. Where our brothers are.”
Optimus seemed almost saddened for a moment.
Though he tried to not show it. He couldn’t hide it from them. They then spoke once more in a more serious tone once placing their cervos and arms on the table.
“Optimus, we made a vow.”
Optimus only glanced at Altair. Taking note of how serious they are. He then let out a soft sigh then turned his helm to look at them. Speaking once more.
Following their tone.
“We have history on that planet. Stepping foot will be like old times. Fighting alongside the humans. Though, times surely must have changed over the years. To get too attached in case of betrayal.”
Altair slowly gave a small nod. They agree with him. But their optics show worry.
Their usual smile is not visible anymore for them. They then spoke, trying to change the subject for a moment. “Any news of Bee and Drift. How are their missions going?”
Optimus let out a sigh. He then interlocked his cervos as he spoke.
“We still haven’t heard from Drift. He is taking this “make up for time” mission very seriously with such a dangerous mission. But I worry he’ll push himself. He’s a young bot. He can only learn the hard way at this point only now.”
Altair then looked down for a moment to think. “He’s trying. Now we can only wait upon his return.” They chuckled to themself.
Optimus then spoke in his usual yet almost casual voice. A voice only Altair and others close to him hear. “Still owes you that drink him?” They then nodded with a soft smile on their dermas. They noticed that Optimus soon had a bit of a frown on his dermas. Speaking again.
”Bee has returned from the same search mission. It was a success...He’s resting right now ” Altair stared at him a moment longer. The two of them deeply cared about him.
Altair then closed their optics for a moment. Thinking about everything that happened today.
Optimus finally spoke once more. “Go wash up. And get some rest, old friend. We don’t want that blood sticking and staying on you forever.”
Altair lets out a soft sigh before standing. Bowing their helm down with their optics closed.
“Good meeting. I’ll see you in the morning, sir.”
Optimus then spoke. “Rest well…….soldier.” The spoke the last part in almost sad. Hesitating a little. The two smiled at each other.
Altair then turned away and walked towards the door. Pressing in the same passcode and walking out.
The door then closed behind him. They let out a sigh and started walking toward the cleaning stations. Passing Elita who was about to join Optimus for another meeting.
The last one for the day alongside Ironhide who didn’t need much to recharge.
He then nodded to Altair when the two passed each other. They do the same to him with a small smile.
They soon past a few other neutral bots who were in the same shower on the ship.
Altair walks into one of the parts with the three walls and a door. Cleaning themselves up. Finally getting all the blood off and showing the small scrapes on them.
After they’re finally cleaned up and dry.
They make their way to their shared berth room with Moonracer. Who was already sleeping.
Altair made sure to make their way in quietly. As quiet as they can. Soon they lay down and then looked out the window of their berth room. Watching the stars and such.
Only now it hits them of how they haven’t slept so much in so long.
Soon since tomorrow they’ll be with Optimus for certain missions and meetings. They can sleep in. At least for an extra hour.
The first meeting won’t be for a long while on that very morning.
Oh man. I’m not really a perfectionist, but I got so excited about this chapter and honestly had to make sure everything was just right before posting.
Honestly, I think I’m gonna do a sort of rewrite just to add in a few more scenes that can help with the story and honestly look forward to opinions and even some criticism along with thoughts for this first chapter. I want a lot of people to enjoy my work, but I am also aware that it’s not for everyone. Anyway, I hope you guys still enjoyed this chapter. I know I did and I hope to see many of you in the next one in a couple week.
As always a repost is appreciated and I hope to see you guys in the comments. Hope the rest of you have a good rest of your day.
Those who wished to be mentioned/tagged:
@drimmmy
@shddyboo
@shiny-sol
@redblueequalhot
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bobfloydsbabe · 2 days ago
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make the tables turn (the rewrite) | jake seresin x oc
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a turning tables fic
SUMMARY: Jake goes in for a routine physical, but is shocked to learn that his doctor is Jasmine Lane—the woman he tried to take home the night before.
WARNINGS: Getting weighed, inaccurate medical stuff. strictly 18+/minors dni.
WORD COUNT: 2.2k
A/N: I decided to not take down the original chapters of Turning Tables, so you can still find the fic in its original iteration. It will remain up until I'm done with the rewrite, so you can still enjoy the story in its entirety.
ORIGINAL MASTERLIST | REWRITE MASTERLIST
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“Thank you, Lt. Garcia. That’s all for today,” Jas said, putting a final note in his chart.
“Thank you, Dr. Lane,” he said with a crooked smile and did the last few buttons on his khaki uniform. He bid her goodbye with a small wave, exiting the treatment room. 
Leaving the door slightly ajar, she heard him speak to someone in the waiting area, wishing them luck. She glanced at the file of her next victim, confirming that the voice in the waiting room belonged to exactly who she thought.
Martha, the head nurse, came in to top up the supply of needles on the cart in the corner. “Who’s your next victim?” She asked and straightened the already straight line of needle packs.
Martha had become a reassuring presence when Jas was first reassigned to Top Gun. She was a shoulder to lean on and she listened to Jas’ rants about how much she hated prescribing fluids and rest to men who really should be able to handle a little flu without seeing a medical professional. Martha brought her coffee on their shared night shifts and told Jas to get it together when she complained about the long and boring hours.
“Can you please send in Lt. Seresin?”
Martha’s eyes narrowed. “Watch out for that one,” she warned and went to collect him from the waiting area.
Sitting in her chair, Jas tried not to grin at the prospect of the look on his face when he saw her. He had no idea he was about to come face to face with the woman he had failed to take home.
She heard him before she saw him.
“Listen, Doc, I’m in peak physical condi…” he trailed off, stopping in his tracks just inside the threshold of her office, eyes trained on her. Martha closed the door behind him, sending Jas a knowing look.
“I’m sure you are, lieutenant,” Jas said and stood, offering her hand for him to shake, which he took with a skeptical look in his green eyes. “But you’re required to be here, so suck it up. I’m Dr. Lane.”
“You,” was all he said.
“Me.” She let go of his hand and gestured to the exam table. “Have a seat.”
He didn’t move. He looked every bit as attractive in the fluorescent lighting of her office as he had in the yellowish glow of the bar the night before. The only difference was the accusatory gleam in his eyes. “You didn’t tell me you worked here.”
“You didn’t ask,” Jas answered and gestured for him to sit once more.
His eyes hardened, but he still sat. “I asked what you did for work,” he argued.
“That you did,” she agreed. “And I told you I’m a doctor, which I am.” She waved a hand around her office at all the medical equipment, then adjusted the stethoscope around her neck for good measure. She shouldn’t wear it that way for safety, but old habits die hard.
He stared at her. “You lied.”
“I didn’t.”
“Lying by omission is still lying.”
She shrugged. “Maybe, but you were too busy trying to get in my pants to notice.” His mouth flattened into a tight line while his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Are you ready to begin?”
He grumbled a yes and answered a few routine questions. When Jas asked him to stand at the measurement on her wall, he did so without complaint. She joined him and brought the block down, noting the height on his chart.
“Have I grown, Doc?”
It was as if he’d flipped a switch. The sour mood of just a moment ago now replaced with an easy smile and a confident lilt to his tone. Jas saw it for what it was: an attempt to get the upper hand, but she had played this game many times before. He would have to do better if he wanted her to crack.
She met his gaze. “No.”
His brows drew together for an almost indiscernible second before he schooled his expression back into the unbothered folds of before.
Jas consulted with her checklist. “Okay, if you’ll just hop on the scale for me.” He turned to it, but she stopped him with a hand on his forearm. “Without your shoes.” 
He glowered. Gone was the smirk and the air of nonchalance he tried too hard to put on. In its stead was a seething temperament and barely concealed frustration. If she wasn’t enjoying this so much, she might have taken pity on him and stopped taunting him, but he was too much fun to tease. It was his own fault, really. Hadn’t he been cocky in his conviction that he could get Jas to sleep in his bed just the night before?
He sat on the exam table and undid the laces of his standard issue boots in silence.
He stood on the scale, and Jas joined him by it, adjusting it until it was even. She felt his eyes on her, assessing her every move and breath. Usually, her patients were eager to get this part of the exam over and done with, not keen to be weighed, but Hangman seemed unfazed.
“Alright,” she muttered, clearing her throat. “Weight is normal.” She glanced up, finding his eyes still trained on her. The smile had crept back, the corners of his mouth turned up.
“Do I have something on my face, lieutenant?” She asked, stepping away to note the weight on his chart.
“You’re beautiful,” he drawled as he stepped off the scale.
“So you told me last night,” she reminded him, grabbing onto the ends of the stethoscope around her neck. “But charm won’t get me to change your weight.”
He frowned. “I wasn’t—”
“Now, have a seat on the table so I can check your vitals.” He crossed the room to the table and sat. “Remove your uniform shirt.”
He smirked, cocky and self-assured. “If you wanted me to strip, all you had to do was ask,” he said, his voice lower than before as he undid the buttons on his shirt.
“Your undershirt can stay on,” she informed him.
He frowned again, but didn’t argue. He placed the khaki shirt on one end of the table and offered his arm to her, familiar with the process of a physical. Jas placed the blood pressure monitor on his arm and ignored the feeling of his muscles rippling under the surface of his skin. She could make out every corded muscle in his shoulders under the white undershirt, and her mouth went dry.
She could feel him watching her again. Jas bit her lip, concentrating on reading the results on the monitor, not the thrilling feeling of his attention solely on her.
“Okay,” she breathed and undid the band of the monitor. “Blood pressure looks fine.”
“No need to be modest, Doc. It’s perfect,” he proclaimed. “I’ve gotten many compliments on my blood pressure.”
Jas snorted, unable to help herself. “I find that hard to believe.”
She went to her desk to note down the results before moving on to listen to his heart and lungs. Both sounded good, and she was a little annoyed that his numbers were essentially the same as his last physical. Perfect. If there was ever any reason to hate a man, this had to be it.
“Right,” she began. “I’m just going to have a look at your ears and throat. Open up.” She placed a wooden stick on his tongue and shone a light down his throat. She shouldn’t imagine what that mouth would feel like pressed against hers, or what wicked things his tongue could do to her body, but the vision was vivid in her mind. Jas forced the thought from her mind and ignored the fluttering feeling in her stomach. It was the last thing she needed right now. 
After clearing his throat, she looked in his ears and found nothing out of the ordinary there either.
He really was in peak physical condition, and she almost hated him.
The Navy was truly punishing her. She had saved a man’s leg, and this was the thanks she got? Having to check high and mighty fighter pilots over for issues that weren’t there? 
Silently fuming, Jas walked back to the desk once again to check off the throat and ears on her list, then returned to Seresin, who still sat dutifully on the exam table. “I’m just going to check the lymph nodes in your neck, okay? Then we’ll check your vision afterward.”
He smirked. “Go ahead, Doc.” Jas placed her hands on either side of his neck and felt for swelling under the skin.
“How’d you end up stationed here?”
Jas leaned back, hands stilling on his neck. “Why?”
He put his hands up. “Good, old-fashioned curiosity.”
“It’s a long story,” she admitted, hoping the answer would be enough to discourage any further questions. She dropped her hands from his neck and walked to the back wall, turning on the light in the vision chart.
“Do you take any medications?” she asked, handing him the occluder.
He shook his head. “Make a long story short?”
“Not a chance,” she said. “Now, cover your left eye and read the line with the smallest letters you can see.”
He rattled off all the letters on the bottom row without issue and did the same with his right eye. Jas rolled her eyes and took the occluder back from him.
“Any unusual moles or other marks on your skin?”
“No,” he answered. “Tell the story over a drink, then?”
Jas snorted. “Not gonna happen.”
He hummed. “Alright, your loss.”
“Oh no. How will I ever survive?” Sarcasm dripped from her voice.
His eyes darkened, going from the color of sea glass to mossy green. He stood from the exam table and strode toward her like a predator on the hunt, and Jas’ breath caught in her throat. He stopped right in front of her, their chests a hairbreadth away from each other. He was only a few inches taller than her, but she had to crane her neck to meet his gaze.
“You’ll change your mind,” he said, voice low and sultry. “Soon, you’ll beg for my time.”
The moment broke.
Jas stifled a groan and placed a hand on his chest, forcing him to take a step back and put distance between them. “I think I need to refer you to a specialist,” she told him seriously.
He frowned. “What’s wrong with me?”
Jas turned back to her desk and picked up his chart. She pretended to study it, allowing herself a moment to regain her composure. “I think you need to have your ego surgically removed,” she explained. “It’s a risky procedure, but you should be just fine. You might even get a date afterward.”
Hangman groaned, running his hands over his face. “Are you done?”
She huffed out a laugh. “Not even close, but I’ll spare you for today. You can put your shirt and boots back on.”
Jas jotted down some additional notes in his chart, including his perfect eye test, as he redressed. She put the pen down and placed her hands in her lab coat while she waited for him to finish tying his shoelaces.
He stood, and their eyes met. A battle of wills locked in a stalemate. His signature smirk spread across his handsome face. “I’ll see you around, Doc,” he said and tipped an invisible hat to her, reaching for the door handle. Jas could acknowledge that he was charming without shuddering at the admission. Almost.
“I’ll count the hours,” she joked.
Hangman abruptly turned around and caged her in between the desk and his body. She could feel the heat radiating off him. He bent his head down, and Jas felt his breath on her lips. Her eyes darted to his for a split second, but he had caught her. She knew by the way the corner of his mouth turned up.
“I’ll be thinking of you tonight,” he said, voice barely audible. The implication was obvious, and Jas’ cheeks grew hot for the first time in his presence. She hoped it wasn’t noticeable in the fluorescent light or she would never hear the end of it.
He stood back, and Jas tried to hide the fact that she had to gasp for air.
“You have a nice day, Dr. Lane.”
He winked at her and exited her office, leaving the door open and allowing the thick tension in the room to dissipate. She was still catching her breath when Martha escorted her next patient into the room.
“Dr. Lane, are you alright?”
Jas snapped her head up, finding Martha and a bespectacled aviator looking at her with worry etched into their features.
She forced a smile. “I’m fine.” She offered her hand to the aviator, who shook it dutifully. “You must be Lt. Floyd. Have a seat.”
As Jas went through Floyd’s physical, her thoughts kept returning to Hangman, trying to understand exactly how he had gained the upper hand.
She wasn’t sure, but she vowed to get it back. Whatever it took.
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the-tmnt-ficfinder · 2 days ago
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Christmas Kindness submission
To Qoldenskies,
I’ll straight up say it. You write my favourite Donnie angst out there. There’s the obvious masterpiece that is the Canary Continuity, and the horrifically underrated Coming Undone. Both are such visceral, heartbreaking experiences that I have enjoyed from start to finish. And Caged Lungs broke me down. Miner’s Eulogy was what shattered me, though, and Clipped Wings? What a RIDE. With each chapter you post, I can’t believe we’re getting closer to the END. Not the END. I don’t want it to end, but it’s gotta. We do need that promised happy ending.
Honestly, your interpretations of the characters? Especially Donnie? They’re so well thought-out and clever. There’s so many important layers to them and what drives them, and it all comes together SO WELL. You’ve definitely done your homework and put a lot of care into your stories. It shows.
What I also have to praise is how beautifully crafted the writing ITSELF is. The metaphors and parallels are so clever. You use them masterfully to paint a better picture of the characters and their struggles. It’s like you have two narratives running at once, sometimes, the obvious one, and the supporting one that explains so much. I don’t always catch that, since I’m not that smart, but I know it’s there. Commenters help me out by bringing attention to it. 
Emotions? Spot on. I feel so much, and the experiences are painted so viscerally that it’s hard not to feel along with the characters.
And I wanted to also bring up one more thing. I really like how you ‘distort’ and break up the dialogue when the characters are in distress. The stammering, the added words, (for examples, “I’m— I’m too muh-ch,” “something’s wro-wrohng, Raph and Leo are ouh-out—“ (cu) “I’ll d-do– I’ll do any-hhh-thing,” “I’ll– I’ll clean it up, I promi- hhh -se!” (cl)) really helps me HEAR how they’re talking. I’ve never seen stuttering or dragged-out words articulated so ‘as-said’— meaning, that is exactly the noises they’d be making if you heard them (particularly the shuddering of breath that accompanies then ‘hhh’, if that makes sense). This is probably my favourite little detail exclusive to your work. I absolutely love it. It’s such a small thing but it definitely enhances the reading experience.
Because I don’t want to leave out your ‘smaller’ fics, I wanted to say that I have read Circomvating Death, too. It definitely is a nice little refresher to all the angst (but I LOVE angst), and I’ve enjoyed the humorously chaotic adventures of Donnie and Casey Jr. Whenever you get back around to writing for that, I’ll look forward to seeing where they go next!
And Enhancements? Short but sweet pain. The idea of NO existing painkillers working on them makes a lot of of sense. The super-soldier piece is such a fun little concept to play around with, whether for badass purposes or whump. I also love seeing the concept referenced in your other stories. It works great as a little headcanon establishment. It doesn’t need to be a massive masterpiece to still be great.
I know you’re also planning Where We Went Wrong as a B-team sep AU, and I’m definitely looking forward to that and your bad things happen bingo prompts! I know all that’s in the right hands, and 
You have a lot of talent, and you deserve all the positive feedback, fan art, and fanfics you’ve gotten so far.
And I did read the post where you said that your family is too poor to celebrate Christmas, but I hope you can cherish the time you all have together regardless (and beat that Christmas Curse that’s plagued you for the past couple years). <3 Have a great one! Wishing you all the best.
@qoldenskies
Christmas Kindness Event Post
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sissylittlefeather · 2 days ago
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If I Can Dream: Chapter 7
A/N: A Christmas surprise! Two chapters in one day! Merry Christmas, friends! Masterlist.
Summary: It's 1975 and Jo Bellamy has been in love with Elvis for 20 years. She doesn't even care that they haven't met yet. All she needs is a chance and she's determined to get one.
But Elvis doesn't feel much like Elvis anymore. What happened to the man he used to be? He's pretty sure he's long gone.
Can a chance encounter with Jo change the ill-fated trajectory of his life?
Warnings: none, this is pretty damn fluffy.
Word count: ~3.2k
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“That's a fuck yes, babe.” He giggles and tickles her sides excitedly and they laugh together on the big-enough couch, naked and unafraid of the future… for now.
******
That night passes with Elvis and Jo talking for most of it until they finally fall asleep in bed all wrapped around each other just before sunrise. He's convinced her to stay home from work, so they make love when they wake up and then lay in bed until almost 3pm. Finally, she drags him out of bed and they spend the rest of the day in the kitchen. She has the idea for them to make Christmas candy and a gingerbread house. What they really make is a mess, but they have a blast licking icing and chocolate off of each other. They settle into the TV room with It’s a Wonderful Life on the projector and the candy they made that Elvis hasn't eaten yet. All in all, it's a beautiful day together and when they settle in bed at the end of it, Elvis is ready to spend every day like that. He mentions something to that effect to Jo and she makes a nervous sound.
“What's that sound for, Tink?” She looks at him with an awkwardly pained smile.
“I have to go home tomorrow.”
“Home?” He's confused, thinking she's already at home.
“To see my parents, I mean. For Christmas Eve.”
“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve?” She rolls her eyes and giggles.
“Yes. It is. And my parents always have this big holiday party for the family.”
“Oh.” He gets a little sad thinking that he'll have to spend the next day without her.
“You could come with me.” She says cautiously. Elvis makes a thinking face.
“How many people?”
“Just my mom and stepdad and my step-siblings. You've already met my brother-in-law and niece. I also have a stepbrother who is married with 3 kids. My aunt and uncle will probably be there too. They don't have any kids, so they usually come to our holiday things. But that's all. Not a huge crowd.” She smiles and looks at him hopefully. He grumbles, knowing that he's going to have a hard time telling her no.
“Okay. I already went to a wedding and survived. I guess I can go to a Christmas party.” She squeals and snuggles into his chest.
“I love you so much.” He wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head.
“I love you too, Tink.”
******
Elvis stands in his closet in his robe, staring at the rows and rows of clothing. They're late and he knows it, but he has no idea what on earth he should wear to a family Christmas party. All of his clothing is either formal paparazzi-worthy outfits, jumpsuits, clothes that don't fit him, or tracksuits. None of those seem appropriate for where he's supposed to be going right now. He hears Jo's voice as she calls out to him.
“Elvis! Come on, babe, we're late!” She's taken to calling him ‘babe’ as often as possible and he really likes it. But today it just seems to add to his anxiety. He feels like he's going to let her down or embarrass her no matter what he chooses. She finally finds him in the closet near tears. “Babe, what's wrong?”
“Nothin’, honey.”
“Then why aren't you dressed yet? We gotta go.” She clicks her tongue to indicate they need to hurry. He just closes his eyes and hangs his head. “What is it? Talk to me.”
“I don't have anything to wear.”
“You literally have more clothes than anyone I've ever-”
“I don't have anything right to wear.” He slides his glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose. She wraps her arms around his waist and squeezes him.
“Anything you wear will be perfect.” He looks down at her in her red dress with her makeup perfect. She looks so young and pretty, like she doesn't belong with him at all.
“Tink, I should probably just stay here.” She pulls away from him and looks up at him with a frown on her face. “Now don't go makin’ that face.”
“You told me you'd come with me.”
“Honey, I've just been thinkin’ and I don't-”
“Do you love me?” She puts her hands on her hips.
“Of course I do.”
“Do you trust me?” He sighs deeply.
“Yes.” She turns to the rows of clothing and picks out a black silk shirt with puffed sleeves, a red scarf, and some black pants and hands them to him.
“There. You can pick your belt and jewelry.” It's an outfit he never would've put together himself, but once he gets a gold belt and necklace on with his favorite black and red jacket, he's satisfied. He's especially pleased when he stands next to Jo in her red minidress with black tights and boots. They look like they belong together now and he smiles. There's just one thing missing. He walks over to a drawer and pulls out a box with a red bow on it.
“I was saving this for tomorrow, but I think you need it tonight.” She takes the box and looks up at him. She's no spring chicken, so she recognizes a jewelry box when she sees it. He watches as she opens the box to reveal a gold necklace with the letters ‘TLC’ around a lightning bolt, the whole thing encrusted in diamonds. “What do ya think?”
Jo is speechless as she looks at the necklace. She's never had anyone buy her such a lavish gift. Her voice comes out as a whisper.
“It's too much.” He tips her chin with his knuckle to make her look up at him.
“Nothing is too much for you. I can never repay you for what you've given me. So please, take the necklace and anything else I give you.” She nods slowly and he takes the necklace out of the box and puts it on her. He pulls back and whistles. “It suits you.”
“It's beautiful. Thank you.” She touches it with her fingertips gently.
“It goes with mine.” He pulls the gold ‘TCB’ necklace out for her to see. She’s seen it before, but never really given it much thought. “It tells people that you go with me.”
She wraps herself around him again and pulls him into a deep kiss. He holds her close and hums as he presses his lips to hers. When they finally break the kiss, he sighs.
“Alright, let's go. Meetin’ my girlfriend’s family. I'm not nervous at all.” She looks at him funny.
“Girlfriend?”
“Well, yeah. What did you think you were?” She shakes her head and shrugs.
“I didn't want to assume.” He grabs her and tickles her sides and she giggles, trying to get away.
“You're mine, Tink. If you've forgotten, I'm happy to throw you on this bed and remind you.”
“Later. Right now I have to take my boyfriend to meet my family.” She takes off running down the stairs and he follows her as quickly as he can, all the way to her car, where he pins her against it and kisses her, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he presses his hips against hers.
“You sure you don't want me to have Jerry drive us?” He whispers in her ear, his breath hot against her skin. She whimpers, but tries to resist.
“No, babe, your cars are too obvious. People will follow us. We need to be in my clunker.” He looks at her car. It really is a sad excuse for a vehicle.
“Well, okay then.” They slide into the front seat and he ducks so that the people at the gates don't see him.
******
When they pull into the neighborhood where Jo's parents live, Elvis looks at her in shock. It's one of the fanciest neighborhoods in Memphis with big, old houses that are both historic and beautiful. His jaw drops when she pulls up in front of a massive colonial mansion and stops the car.
“This is where you grew up?!” She laughs.
“God, no! This is my stepdad’s house. His family owns a lot of real estate in Memphis and he's some bigwig at a bank. They got married when I was 17.”
“Oh…”
“No, I grew up in an apartment with my deadbeat dad and my mother working two jobs to make ends meet. She's living the American dream now.” He nods and then leans in and kisses her cheek.
“So are you.” She looks at him and giggles.
“No, babe, I'm living a goddamn fairy tale.” He chuckles. “Now, come on. We're already almost an hour late.”
At the front door, Jo's not sure who is more nervous, her or Elvis. She holds onto the bottle of wine they've brought with a vice grip. Finally, her stepdad answers the door.
“Jo! You made it. And you brought… company…”
“Hi George. This is Elvis.” To his credit, her stepdad adjusts quickly and shakes Elvis’s hand without any further ado. As they make their way through the foyer, George grabs Jo.
“Your mother is going to have heart failure.” She looks at him with her eyes wide.
“Oh God. Let's hope not.” She runs to be in front of Elvis when he walks into the dining room where everyone is seated for dinner.
“Jo’s here!” Her mother jumps up from the table and runs to her, grabbing her in a hug. “And who have you- oh my God.”
“Hello, ma'am, I'm-”
“Elvis Presley.” Jo’s mom holds her hand over her mouth as Elvis stands there awkwardly. Everyone at the table is silently staring and Jo starts to panic. Maybe this was not a good idea.
“Elvis!” Amy launches herself out of her chair and onto Elvis like she's known him her whole life. He catches her in a hug.
“Hey, kiddo.” That seems to jar Rob back to reality as well, so he stands and shakes Elvis's hand.
“Nice to see you again. This is my wife Christine.” The introductions finally begin and everyone seems to relax significantly except Jo's mother. She's still starstruck, so Jo goes over to her.
“Mother. Please calm down. He's just a person.”
“A person you've idolized for two decades! How did you… when did… he…?” She stumbles over her whispered words.
“We met at one of his shows. We've been together since then. Now, please calm down.” Jo doesn't mention that the show was less than two weeks ago. Elvis walks back over to them, hoping he can put her mom at ease. He puts his arm around Jo's waist and holds his hand out for her to shake. She looks up at him and puts her hand in his and he promptly lifts it to his lips and kisses it.
“Elvis, this is my mother, Rose.” Jo looks up at him and he smiles.
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Rose. Thank you for raising such an amazing daughter.” Jo’s mother giggles.
“Oh! Aren't you sweet? Thank you. It's lovely to meet you.” Once the initial pleasantries are finished, Rose and the rest of the room settle back into dinner as Elvis and Jo take their seats. The meal passes with good food and polite conversation that gets more and more comfortable as each minute passes. By the end of it, everyone is talking and laughing with Elvis like they've known him for years. Jo is impressed with his ability to blend in, and honestly he is too. But he reminds himself that he's just a person like they are. There's no reason he should act any different. He glances over at Jo every once in a while and smiles, his body filled with a kind of golden warmth when he looks at her.
“She's really something, isn't she?” Jo’s aunt Carol asks, catching Elvis as he stares at her.
“She really is.” He looks at Carol and smiles.
“She's been through a lot. It's nice to see her happy. My sister did her best to raise her, but they didn't have it easy. She's done well for herself.” Elvis nods, not sure where this conversation is going. “I'd hate to see her go through more. She deserves something real.”
Ah, there it is.
“Ma'am, I assure you, I have no intentions of hurting her.” Elvis looks at Carol seriously.
“We never intend to hurt people, do we?” Jo had mentioned that her aunt was tough and protective of her to a fault. This must be what she meant.
“No, I suppose not. But I'll say this: I've never loved anyone the way I love her. If I ever hurt her, it'll hurt me more.” Carol gives him a small smile and pats his hand.
“Good answer.” She moves the conversation to a different topic and he catches Jo's eye. Her eyebrows raise when she sees who he is talking to, but he gives her a warm smile and she's reassured. For a couple that's only been together for a matter of days, they communicate without talking pretty well.
The evening passes fairly quickly with the children opening presents and the adults drinking hot apple cider and eggnog. At one point, Jo's sister-in-law looks around the room for someone to take her six-month-old while she deals with something else for the kids. Without hesitation, Elvis takes him and holds him in his lap, playing with him and talking to him quietly.
“He's good with kids.” Jo’s stepsister Christine comments.
“Yes, well, he's a dad.”
“Mhmm. He only has the one daughter?” Jo answers without taking her eyes off of Elvis.
“Yes, Lisa Marie.”
“Have you met her?” She turns to look at Christine.
“No. I suppose I will tomorrow, though.”
“Sounds like it's pretty serious, then.” Amy runs up to her mom and Christine wipes the chocolate off of her face before she runs away again.
“Yeah… you could say that. He asked me to move in with him.”
“Oh, my. Is that what you want? A life with a rock star?” Jo purses her lips.
“I want a life with him.”
“You don't want a family?”
“Why couldn't we have a family?” Christine shrugs.
“He already had one and it didn't work. I'd think he's done with that part of his life. And I've read that he-”
“I'm going to stop you right there. Whatever you've read is probably not true. And as far as a family goes, he and I are all the family I need.” Jo means it when she says it, but the second she does, she starts to wonder if it's really true. Christine nods.
“As long as you're happy.”
“I am.” Jo takes a big swig of cider.
“Then I'm happy for you.” Just then, Elvis makes some face at Jo as one of the little girls puts a Christmas bow on his head and she almost giggles openly. Christine catches the interaction and puts her hand on Jo's shoulder. “He seems like he really loves you.”
“He does. And I love him.”
“Then that's all you need to know.” She pats Jo's shoulder and then Amy is back and she has to go get her something in the kitchen. Jo turns back to Elvis where he bounces her nephew on his knee and talks very seriously to her other two nieces, his hair now full of bows. Would he be willing to have more children? She's always thought of herself with kids someday, but is Christine right about that part of his life being over?
******
When the evening concludes, Elvis and Jo say their goodbyes and head back to her car to drive home. He's in the driver’s seat this time and she's leaned against his shoulder happily.
“Hey, honey, can we take a quick detour?” She sits up a bit and nods.
“Sure, babe.” He turns down a road that will lead them out to the country, but not really towards Graceland. About twenty minutes later, he pulls the car off of the road and parks in a small clearing.
“You got a blanket in the trunk?” She nods, glad that she does. He hops out and fetches the blanket. “Come on, Tink.”
She grumbles and slides out of the car. He wraps the blanket around his body and pulls her to him so that the blanket covers her too.
“Now look.” She looks out where he points and gasps. They're on a bit of a hill, so she can see the whole field below them filled with fresh, virgin snow. Above that, the moon is almost full as it glitters on the blanket of white crystals. The image is breathtaking and she almost cries with how pretty it is.
“It's beautiful.”
“This is one of my favorite spots. I love how many stars there are out here. And especially when there's moonlight on the snow.” She's quiet for a bit as she takes in the scenery. Then she whispers.
“Thank you for sharing it with me.” He squeezes her and presses a kiss to her temple.
“I want to share everything with you.” Jo sighs. There's been a question burning inside her since she talked to Christine at the party.
“Can I ask you something?” Her heart flutters in her chest. It's not even what she thought she wanted, but being with him is different.
“Sure, Tink.” She hesitates for a moment, scared that this might be another thing that comes between them. He has the same fear, even though he doesn't know what she's about to say. Taking a deep breath, she continues.
“Would you want to have more kids?” He leans down and turns so that he can look her in the eye. She waits anxiously as he searches her face. At first, he's reluctant to make promises, but then the image of them in front of the fireplace with their little family passes through his mind and he knows his answer.
“Yes, honey. I'd love for us to have a little Elvis Junior or baby Jo runnin’ around.”
“Really?”
“Of course, Tink. I love kids and I love bein’ a daddy and I think you'd make a great mama. If it's what you want, we'll have a dozen kids.” She giggles.
“I think one would be plenty.”
“Whatever you want, honey.” He wraps the blanket tighter around them and she lays her head back on his chest. Fat snowflakes start to drift down from the sky as they stand there together.
Jo is as happy as she's ever been living her fairy tale. But she can't help the niggling thought that this might all be over as soon as he leaves for tour or Vegas. He's saying all the right things, but does he mean them long term? She's never been one to worry about the future, but the thought of losing him makes her stomach turn over. Still, right now he has his arms around her and she's perfectly content to stay there forever, looking out over the untouched snow with the moonlight sparkling like diamonds.
******
Almost the end!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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sabraeal · 2 years ago
Text
If the Mind Is Willing, Chapter 3
[Read on AO3]
Part three of 500 Follower prizes @bubblesthemonsterartist​ earned herself years ago! Only two more and I will have fulfilled all those fics...probably just in time to have a 1K follower raffle
Blue light washes her pink sheets pale, until it’s impossible to tell when cotton ends and her skin begins. The shadows pull longer in its glow, turning her own nearly skeletal as she reaches out a finger, hovering over the link.
“U-J-Kyo?” Chizuru’s mouth wraps around each letter, the sound of them tumbling softly into the muted glow. “But that’s just...?”
The university’s homepage. And her laptop’s, technically, now that Yamazaki helped her set it. Not something she’d normally associate with Souji’s interests, not unless he’s started some new hostilities with the provost’s office again. Their last open letter hung on the fridge until just before Thanksgiving, the second paragraph asking for “certain individuals in the student body“ to “show more conduct becoming of an undergraduate of a prestigious institution” highlighted proudly in lime green.
Dean Kondo dropped by the house only a few days later-- for a friendly visit, he’d said, smile as warm as she remembered. He’d stayed for dinner, complimenting the soup she’d made from their leftovers, and then talked with Souji out on the porch until the swing’s chains started to creak. The letter disappeared the next morning, unremarked, though Souji kept glowering at the bare metal every time he passed through the kitchen.
Chizuru swipes tentatively at the screen, messaging app blooming beneath her finger. The link’s innocuous, known, but Souji has a gift for slipping a sting into any handshake. And if he’s calling it a gift, well--
[ToudouDomination] omg holy shit dude nice knowing u hijikatas gonna kill u 4 sure 💀💀
Professor Hijikata’s taught her enough about Trojans to take that kind of present at face value.
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] *skullfuck u mean skullfuck ull b the most beautiful corpse at ur funeral bro
Her lips press tight, clinging to each other as close as the rubber case to her phone. If everyone’s acting like this about it, it’s better that she doesn’t look.
[ToudouDomination] MY funeral???!! what’s this got to do with me??!!
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] nah man im not talking ab YOU im talking ab dead man walking over here
She’d regret it if she did, probably.
[Dr 💖💋🤭] jfc I’ll say somethign nice at you’re disciplinery hearing
[ToudouDomination] Me??
[Dr 💖💋🤭] No one’s talking about you Heisuke
It’s an accident, really. Her thumb skims up the side of the screen-- scrolling past the sudden influx of skull and fire emojis the boys heave into the chat-- and the pad of it just barely brushes the link. It flashes under the pressure, blue then purple, selected, and well...
There’s no harm in just letting it happen, is there? It’s only the university homepage, nothing--
Ah. That’s what it should be at least. But instead of the azure and white, there’s text curling across the screen, a half dozen different hand-written poems in blue bic and college rule, tiled across every inch of the background. There’s coffee stains on them too, some in the corner, and some in rings, like they were more used to being coasters than literature. And in the center of it all--
“Oh.” She blinks, tilting her screen to get a better view. “A video?”
Hogyoku Open Mic, it reads at one corner, reflection on water. A strange choice for Souji; he’s never mentioned an interest in poetry, let alone live readings. Frowning, Chizuru tilts her phone, letting the video fill the screen.
It plays, and oh, several things become clear, all at once.
“My heart is pure,” the man on screen promises, words raking over the gravel of his voice-- how little of it there is marks his age more than the lack of lines on his face-- but Chizuru’s isn’t, not when she can’t do much more than stare, fingers numb around the rubber case. “I use my palm as an inkstone.”
The camera pans closer, and yes, above that black dress shirt-- open to its third button, oh goodness gracious-- is Hijikata. Not the one she knows now, the grizzled professor who kicks his feet up on the desk and uses profanity as punctuation, but--
But a much younger man, not much older than her, considering the last little bastions of baby fat clinging to his cheekbones.
[Dr 💖💋🤭] This muts be a hundred pakcs of cigs ago
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] 💯
[ToudouDomination] do moths feel desire or is that like a poetic thing he talks about rain a lot too whats that all ab
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] its a sex thing
[Dr 💖💋🤭] Shin don’t tell the baby taht
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] hes a growing boy he has to learn sometime better he hears it from us hijikata fucks 🍑🍆🍑
[Saito.Hajime] Can I please be removed from this group? Also, congratulations, Souji, on finding a new, creative way to die
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] no way if we all have to think think about hijikata fucking u have to suffer too
[Saito.Hajime] I am not certain I care for that logic
[Dr 💖💋🤭] Too bad, bud. Your stukc with us
[✨💯GAINS💪💪✨] yeah bro u signed the housing contract ur here til death comes for u or like u move out or smthn
Chizuru means to stop the video, really she does. It’s not something Hijikata would want them to see-- at least, she assumes so, considering the way he flushes every time Souji brings up his graduate school slam jams, threatening to expel him if he doesn’t ‘shut his damn mouth.’
But the one on the screen smiles as he finishes his set, smouldering out past the stage lights, and she-- she expects snapping, some cool cats with shades and berets nodding their heads to his truth or whatever mood this is supposed to give. A respectful silence, one that gives space to the idea he’s introduced to the space, but instead--
Instead there’s screams. A full audience of women-- and a few particularly enthusiastic men-- loudly voicing their appreciation for what she’s hoping is the poetry.
Ah, maybe Shinpachi is right. It is a sex thing. And she’s watched a full ten minutes of it.
Hijikata can never know. Or worse--
[Susumu Yamazaki] Take this down. Now.
[( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)] eat my ass
Her heart ricochets around her rib cage, panicked, before it lodges itself in her throat. It flutters there, queasily, and-- and there’s no way he could possibly know, but still, guilt seizes her. She shouldn’t have looked, not once she knew. She should have been the first to say it was wrong. Helpers can only help when they know there is a problem, that’s what Father would have said. If you cannot perceive it then you are part of it.
She could say something now. Her hand squeezes tight around the case. No, she should say something now. She has to, because father will ask. She’ll tell him about this frantic midnight showdown, and he’ll say, and what did you say?
And if it is nothing...
[Susumu Yamazaki] Take it down now. Or I will get university IT involved.
[( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)] you don’t have the fucking balls
[Susumu Yamazaki] Try me.
Even with her eyes closed, her failure is inescapable. The words flash behind her eyelids, no longer composed of ones and zeros but scrawled in neon lights instead, reminding her that if she were better she could have fixed this. That if she were good enough, she could have found the magic phrase to get them all to get along. But instead...
Silence, that’s what he’ll give her. A long pause where all his expectations weigh on her, piling on her chest like boulders on a criminal. A cluck of his tongue, and a soft, I thought I raised you better. Any moment now, her phone will ring, and Father will know what a disappointment she is because--
It’s Christmas. Just about everywhere but Hawaii. A couple other islands in the Pacific too, if she’s being fair. It’s Christmas, and he’s supposed to call because that’s the way it’s always been: her staying up late not to catch Santa and his Reindeer but Father emerging from his office. It’s her that would tromp down the hall with all the grace of an elephant, to fling her arms around him and yelp, Merry Christmas!
And it was him who had to be stern, who must put her back down on the carpet and scold her for being out of bed. Who has to wait until she’s nearly shut her door to stop her, to call out, Merry Christmas, Chizuru.
It’s supposed to be her first. The one given moments after midnight, the most real, and-- and--
And she’s spent the whole day waiting for an empty office.
There’s a part of her, one that’s still too short to reach the microwave and can’t bear the kindness next door, that thinks she missed it. That there’s some dead zone in the house that she unwittingly lingered in, or a notification that her phone somehow swallowed whole. That it’s her fault she never presented herself to be loved.
But there’s another part, one that’s growing every day, and that one--
That one’s just tired. 
It’s tired that wins out, in the end.
There’s a weight that drags at her, urging her to stay within the cocoon of her covers, to let the night unfurl across her screen, each blow reported in black and white right before her eyes. A passive observer, an active disappointment, but most importantly: unmoving.
Even still, she gets up, throwing the cloud of her comforter back so that she can slide out from underneath it. Her heels hit the floor with a force that chatters her teeth; or maybe that’s just the chill of the air now that her body heat is no longer trapped up against her skin.
Her phone settles on the nightstand, cozening up to the lamp, and for a long moment, she thinks about turning it on. Every muscle complains as she peels her day clothes off and exchanges them for pajamas, her eyes straining to make out what’s a hole and what’s just dead air, and yet--
Yet it’s easier than facing herself.
The same weight drops her back onto the mattress, an anchor sinking into the endless depths of open water. She isn’t sure when she’ll hit bottom, but staring at the blank screen beside her feels entirely too close to it.
It’s with a trembling finger that she guides the volume from full to vibrate. Even that makes her heart race, makes her wonder if she’s just punishing Father for having priorities besides a fully adult daughter, the same one who had so happily told him she would support his sabbatical wherever it took him. What if he needs to get a hold of her? If there’s an emergency on Borneo or San Cistobal or whatever island his research took him? Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just keep it on a little, just in case--
Her fingers flex. She deserves to sleep tonight, what little of it there is left. And if this is on...
Vibrate changes to mute. The phone flips over, screen pressed against the wood.
“Good night, Daddy.” She gives the case one last, small tap. “Merry Christmas.”
“Hey, jailbait.” Something warm nudges her shoulder, not gently. Chizuru has the space of exactly one breath to wonder what, before the same something grips both and shakes. “Get up!”
“Haah?” Her hands flail out, but whatever’s gotten hold of her slithers out of her grip, retreating past her arm’s reach. “What...?”
It’s bright when her eyes peel open, the sun already seeping through the curtain even though it can’t be more than--
“Class!” Her limbs fly out, wild as she tries to turn over, tangled up in the tight embrace of her covers. “I’m late for--”
“Hold up a slice, shortcake.” Souji looms over her, tall enough that his knees barely brush the bed to do it. “No classes today.”
“No...?” It’s not as if she has anything to say, brain moving at a snail’s pace that it is, but her mouth keeps moving anyway, as if just working her jaw might help get the gears moving. Which it does, oddly enough, reminding her it’s not a weekend but a holiday, and not just any holiday but Christmas, and--
And Father never called. Unless it came in the night, after she’d put herself to bed. After she’d not only turned off the ringtone but vibrate too, leaving him no chance to hear her voice, forcing any attempts for him to contact her straight to voicemail, like she didn’t even care--
“Hey.” Souji knees the mattress, jolting her outstretched elbow right into the corner of the nightstand. “Get up already.”
Painful tingles race up her arm, bouncing from elbow to shoulder and back and, oh, why is it called the funny bone when it’s not funny at all? “Souji, why are you--?”
A bleary blink turns the blurred numbers on her clock to something like sense.
“Oh!” She bolts upright on the mattress, sending Souji skittering back a step. No wonder he’s deigned to scratch at her door; Harada might be the oldest, but of the three of them, Chizuru’s the only one that can be trusted with the stove. “It’s late! Are you hungry?”
“No.” This close, it’s easy to see that furrow flash between his brows, the quick reassessment of his opinion. “Well, yeah. But that’s not what I want right now.”
This early, her brain’s as bleary as her vision, but it won’t clear no matter how much she blinks. “Then what...?”
He heaves a sigh; her only warning before long fingers clamp around her wrist, cold as iron. “Just come with me already.”
It’s a feat to get untangled from her blankets; there’s a knit one sandwiched between the top sheet and the comforter, plus another for more weight-- and heat, since she shares her thermostat with Shinpachi and Harada, whose bodies both run at a temperature verging on medically alarming if they think sixty-five degrees is comfortable. It’s harder still with Souji yanking at her the whole time; she’s not certain whether he does it because he’s impatient or because her struggling amuses him. Possibly both, knowing Souji.
Impatience, however, wins out. One foot wins free, planting itself on the bedside braided rug, and he snaps, “Hurry up. We don’t have all day.”
She’d love to, if only the comforter hadn’t swallowed her up to the ankle, cinching tight when she tries to pry it apart. “Ah, I know! Just give me one--”
Unless she’d meant to say second-- which she hadn’t, not at all-- Souji doesn’t give it to her. Instead he tugs, and she stumbles off the mattress, dragging half the blankets with her. “Good,” he huffs, barely glancing back. “Let’s go.”
“Wait!” Souji has a terrible habit of making things worse the longer he’s made to wait, but she digs in her heels anyway. Or, well, the one that isn’t still trapped in Poly-Fil. “Can I at least put on my robe?”
“Why? It’s not like there’s anyone to see your cute little Christmas--” he squints “--raccoons?”
“Tanuki.” She smooths her hand over the fabric, one of their round faces peeking playfully out from between her fingers. “They’re just so fluffy.”
Souji stares at her, stone-faced and silent, and-- and it’s longer than that his teasing typically takes. “Right,” he says, stilted. “Whatever. Just hurry it up, Sleeping Beauty.”
Chizuru is keenly conscious of every second Souji suffers her, all-too aware of how impossible it is to win a race against the limits of his patience, but she’s determined to make the most of what she’s given. It’s hopeless to aspire to Hajime’s cool efficiency, but she tries, keeping her movements sharp and purposeful, as if putting on her robe required the same sweeping grace as his kata, and yet--
Yet she barely cinches the knot tight before he’s grabbed her again. “C’mon, princess. We’ve got things to do.”
It’s a struggle just to keep her feet beneath her, but she manages a very eloquent. “Huh?”
His mouth quirks, too pleased, as he tugs and she stumbles, bare feet barely braced against the jamb. “People to piss off.”
Ah, well that’s hardly promising.
When all is said and done, he doesn’t drag her far. A cold comfort, considering.
“This is Hajime’s room,” she informs him. His grin assures her he already knows. “And, Ya-- ah, I mean, Su-- uh, um. S-susu...?”
The name’s foreign in her mouth, tongue stumbling and stuttering around it, and it’s-- it’s just odd not to use it, when she’s so used to Souji and Hajime and Heisuke and Shinpachi and even Sano, if it feels safe to say, instead of intimate. As if she’s letting all the rest of them close while keeping him at arm’s length.
Which isn’t true. But still, she can’t bring herself to say Yamazaki’s first name so casually, not when even Heisuke, who barely lasted three hours before asking if she was cool with nicknames, hasn’t managed it. With the syllables rolling around in her mouth, it’s almost...
Illicit. That’s it. “Is there a reason you need me here?”
Souji’s mouth curls, so satisfied she’s surprised she can’t see feathers between his teeth. “Yes, definitely.”
“But they went home for the holidays.” She frowns. “Did you need something in there? I’m pretty sure it’s--”
His leg kicks back, and with one smooth swing, he completely bypasses the need for a doorknob, the open door shivering from the force.
“-- locked,” she finishes faintly. “Oh my.”
One hand catches the door, long fingers splayed across the grain. “After you, jailbait.”
She nearly balks-- it’s not as if it’s his room; he hardly has the right to invite her-- but the door swings open, and she--
She’s never seen this before. Yamazaki’s room. Or Hajime’s, of course. A tour down the hallway would be enough to get a glimpse into any of the other rooms; Heisuke hadn’t even waited a day to drag her into his, pointing out all his favorite posters. Harada and Shinpachi took a few weeks longer, though she’d spent most of that visit with her hands clapped over her eyes. Even Souji tolerated her shuffling a step over the threshold, even if it was only to ask for him to help her reach one of the taller cabinets. But Yamazaki and Hajime...
Their door has always been carefully shut, not even the slightest gap for a peek. An easy habit to explain away; the both of them value privacy over accessibility, choosing to socialize in the common areas of the house rather than in their room, but still--
It’s almost surprising how normal it is. Not that Chizuru expected it to be wallpapered floor to ceiling with centerfolds, like Harada and Shinpachi’s room, or crowded with collectibles like Heisuke’s, but maybe white walls and stark sheets, monochrome and neat as a pin. The sort of room that would seem unoccupied, if it wasn’t for the monitors on the desks. Sterile.
Instead there’s posters. Not crowding the walls, so close that the corners overlap, but there’s personality, if not chaos. Enough to know that the boy who sleeps under the navy comforter likes movies with kimonos and swords or computers from the 80s, and that charcoal comforter likes wuxia and vintage medical diagrams. And books too, if the stack teetering on his bedside table is any indication.
Chizuru shuffles a step further into the room. It would be rude to rummage, but surely-- surely it wouldn’t hurt if she just read the titles. If she just stooped down the tiniest bit and--
And tripped over Souji, shoulder-deep beneath Yamazaki’s mattress. “W-what are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” he grunts, annoyed. “A guy that uptight’s got to be hiding something. And not just the normal stuff. The kind of something that’s gotta be top shelf fucked up.”
She blinks. “Huh?”
“Oh come on, you know what I mean. Whips and chains.” He drags his arm out with a huff. “Autoerotic asphyxiation. Snuff tapes.” Souji reaches up, flipping over his pillows. “Yiffing. Who could say what a small-dicked little turd like him is into?”
Half those words are unrecognizable, and so it’s not until he’s on his feet, poking through desk drawers that Chizuru realizes, “You mean you’re looking for...for...” Her mouth works, cheeks painfully hot as she manages, “Girlie magazines?”
His fingers still, pressed into a sheaf of glossy page edges. “I’m trying to find porn, Chizuru. That’s what we call it this century.”
The book shuts with a snap, joining its friends on the shelf, and when he reaches for another, she blurts out, “Don’t people just watch that online now?”
Souji laughs, not kind, but abandons the bookshelf. “And everyone thinks you’re so innocent, huh, princess?”
Her hands clap to her cheeks. Ah, she hadn’t realized it could be painful to blush. “I, um...only, ah--” Souji flings open the closet “--I don’t think you should really be--!”
“Jackpot.” The hangers rattle as he slips something off the rack; with only the sunlight eking in around the blinds to light the room, it’s hard to see just what. “What do you think? Would it look good on me?”
The fabric’s black, limp and shapeless on its hanger, utterly unrecognizable. “I don’t...?”
“Nah, no way I could fit into that shrimp’s costumes.” The light might be dim, but Souji’s teeth practically glow when he says, “But you could, half pint. C’mon, get over here.”
She doesn’t have much of a choice, not when he grabs her wrist and yanks. “I don’t understand,” she murmurs, watching him separate a smaller piece from the whole, more uncomfortable by the second. “Why did you need me when you were only going to..um...?”
Steal seems a little strong for the moment. Scrounge falls a little short.
“Ahhh, see, kid, last night I left a little gift for the whole student body. Right on the main page, where everyone could appreciate it.” He steps entirely too close, the warmth of his body filling the space between them. “And our favorite little ass-kisser didn’t appreciate it.”
The scrap slips over her head, cool and smooth where it settles around her neck. “So he took it down. Or got some of his nerd friends to do it. Either way...” Souji shrugs. “It’s rude to give back a gift, isn’t it?”
His wrist twists, the cloth pulling tight against her skin. Tight enough that only a twitch guides her into a nod. “See? That’s what I thought too. Kid needs to learn a thing or two about manners. So that’s what I’m doing.” Souji grins, the fabric loosening as he lets it slip from his fingers. “Teaching him a lesson.”
“B-but...” Her focus stumbles as he steps closer, threading his hand beneath the few inches of her hair that don’t clear the fabric and pulling them free. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
“It’s cute that you don’t know.” His smile could cut when he slips the cloth right up over her nose. “This is a hostage situation, jailbait, and you’re going to read from the script. Now look over here.”
She does, blinking right up into the blinding light of flash photography as his arm squeezes her close. “What...?”
“Perfect.” Souji’s lips slant to a smirk, phone pinched delicately between his fingers. “Now I just need to post this in--”
The lights flick on. Neither of them are near the switch.
But Hajime is.
“Just what,” he says, brows drawn down like a storm, “do you think you’re doing in here?”
There have only been three house meetings since Chizuru showed up on their doorstep, hair shorn and all her earthly possessions split between a backpack and a trash bag: the first, called by the professor, to announce that that there would be a new roommate; the second, to decide how exactly to handle the fact that Chizuru wasn’t a boy’s name, nor was she; and the third, well...
I’m not complaining that you invite girls back, Sano, Shinpachi had said, with all the gravitas of a judge, but you can’t let them wander around. She went through our trash, dude!
But this-- it’s different. Not just because of the Christmas lights, festively twinkling through their cycle, or Shinpachi’s sweater blinking through its own.
It’s that they’re all here, Christmas afternoon-- evening really, with how early the sun sets these days-- holidays cut short. Chizuru might not have anyone to spent Christmas with, but Shinpachi did, and Heisuke, and Yamazaki--
And instead they’re all here. Because of her. Not a single one of them is smiling.
It’s too much.
“I’m so sorry!” The words burst out of her, rushed, but it’s important to get them out before anyone else can speak, before they think she’s only sorry because she got caught. “I really didn’t mean to go in! I just...Souji said...”
“Narc.” It’s muffled in his shoulder, just loud enough for her to hear. And maybe others, the way Yamazaki’s brow twitches across the table.
“Chizu, Chizu. Come on.” Shinpachi holds up his hands, as if a half-hearted sweep like that could clear the slate of her worries.. “No one here thinks this is your fault.”
It’s kind of him to say, but that’s...impossible. Not when she’s so clearly transgressed. “I went into Y-Yamazaki and Hajime’s room without permission. That’s against the--”
“No, Yukimura, that’s not--” Yamazaki’s teeth clack down, hard.  “I don’t mind if it’s you. Ah, I mean--” his ears flush the same angry pink that licks up the column of his neck “--it’s, er, different.”
“You are respectful of other people’s personal belongings,” Hajime clarifies. “There is no issue with you in our private space. Souji, however...”
“Oh, come on.” Souji kicks his feet up on the coffee table, baring every hole in the bottom of them. “It’s not like I broke anything.”
Yamazaki’s eyes hone onto him-- or rather, the parts of him only inches from Harada’s iced mocha, so close a flex of a toe could touch the coaster. “Right, you only stole something. Not like that’s a big deal.”
“Stole? Like I want--” with a sweep of his palm, Yamazaki clears the surface of appendages, so precise it doesn’t even disrupt the condensation on the cup “--hey!”
He doesn’t smile, but when Yamazaki glances up at the couch, his satisfaction shines just as bright as one.
“Souji.”
Hajime is not like Shinpachi, using his outdoor voice in every room no matter how small, or Heisuke, unable to control his volume once a conversation gets interesting. He’s soft spoken, serious; the sort of person other people lean in to hear, rather than ask him to speak up.
But today, he pitches his voice to be heard. “You cannot enter someone’s assigned private room without express permission.” With even graver inflection, he adds “It is against the rules put forth in the Signed Housing Agreement.”
Souji snorts, sinking further into the couch cushions. “No one pays attention to that crap.”
Air hisses between Yamazaki’s teeth. “That’s--”
“If I am not allowed to leave the group chat unless a member of the house boots me for a pre-agreed upon duration,” Hajime says, mouth pulling thin, “then you are also not allowed in my room.”
His glare is hardly aimed at her, but it comes close enough that she flinches. Souji doesn’t, refusing to acknowledge it that same way a cat declined to be caught on a curtain, as if reality was simply an opinion he did or did not hold. “I didn’t even touch your stuff. I don’t know why you’re trying to--”
“You did touch Yamazaki’s stuff, though.” Harada shifts in his chair, the vee of his sweater dipping deep enough to bare cleavage. It might be distracting, if it wasn’t already a relief that he was wearing all his clothes. “Which is against the rules.”
“Yeah, that’s fucked up, right?” Shinpachi cracks open a tall boy, cold enough that the beer fizzes out, threatening to drip right across the festive moose on his chest; HORNY AND WELL HUNG according to the words knit into his sweater. “There’s no locks on the doors, man. We’ve all got to trust each other.”
Chizuru blinks. “But I have a lock.”
He pauses, mid-sip. “Well, I guess that makes sense. You’re a girl, after all. Can’t have a girl be alone with a bunch of guys if there no--”
“My room also has a lock.” Hajime frowns, considering the socks Souji’s just returned to the table. “Hardly a good one, if Souji was able to bypass it with just his foot, but...”
“Me too,” Heisuke chimes in. “I just don’t really use it.”
“Wait, what?” Shinpachi swivels between them, lost. “Are me and Sano the only ones who don’t--?”
“I think the best course of action is to inform Professor Hijikata about the infraction.” Kneeling on the carpet next to Shinpachi’s luggage, Yamazaki’s hardly an authority figure, but when he raises his voice the room fritters to silence. “I’m sure he can take it from there.”
Harada hums, unconvinced. “I don’t know about that. Souji’s already got two strikes against him. If we report another one, I’m pretty sure Hijikata’s going to toss him out.”
They might be more suggestions than eyebrows, but still, it makes an impression when Yamazaki furrows them.  “I don’t see why that’s any of my concern.”
“Aw, c’mon, Yamazaki.” They all might tease her about her pleading eyes, but it’s Heisuke that uses them now, as compelling as any puppy in a pet store window. “You know Souji doesn’t have anywhere else to go. You wouldn’t throw him out in the cold just like that, would you?”
His mouth pinches, bracing the way the rest of him is, squared off and utterly implacable. “Souji is a grown man who can make his own decisions. If those decisions lead to him getting tossed out, that hardly has anything to do with me.”
Souji snorts. “None of the people who complained are even here anymore.”
Yamazaki whips around, eyes so cold they could turn any other man to ice. Souji just smirks. “Yes, because of you.”
“Well, I don’t know...” Heisuke hums, thoughtful. “Ryu left because of that art program. You know, the one that had the scholarship.”
“Only after Okita shoved him off--!”
“Oh, c’mon.” Souji’s shoulder twitch, barely summoning up the energy for a full shrug. “That’s all water under the bridge.”
Yamazaki surges to his feet; only Harada’s hand, keeping him from jumping the table too. “You broke his wrist in three places! The only reason he didn’t press charges was because his foster father is somehow an even bigger asshole than you!”
Souji picks his grins the same way a chef picks his knives from the block: with the intention to cut. “No hard feelings.”
“Hard feelings?” Yamazaki chokes out. “You think this is about hard feelings? When Itou left, he--”
“Itou was a prick.”
Hajime doesn’t so much sigh as hum, raspy and dubious. “That doesn’t mean that what you did was right, Souji.”
His eyes narrow, annoyed. “Don’t pretend you miss him running around the place, acting better than everyone.”
“No, no. He’s got a point.” The easy chair grunts as Shinpachi shifts his weight back, crossing his legs ankle to knee. “They both do. You know I don’t want to kick you out, man, but you’ve got a bad habit of taking stuff way past funny right into, well...”
“An actionable offense?” Harada offers, wry.
A blunt nail taps at his can, uncomfortable. “Yeah, that. It’s not good, bro.”
Something happens with Souji’s mouth. A lot of somethings, actually; subtle ones, hidden in the corners and tucked into the cheeks, the sort that happen between one blink and the next. Missable, save for the fact that Chizuru never looks away.
There’s a jut of his lip first, not a pout but its more serious cousin, the kind that’s like a levee to a deluge: one tremble away from a flood. A scowl next, never quite reaching his eyes; good practice for the smile that follows, curving into a smirk the way steel takes an edge: like it’s meant for it.
“All right, all right.” His hands raise up, too lax for a peace offering. It might stand in for a concession, if she tilted her head and squinted, but only a little. “So you’re all mad at me or whatever.”
“For good reason.” It’s a strong stance for Harada; he’s usually the one who’s quick to compromise, so long as it keeps everyone civil.
“Sure, right.” Souji shrugs, unconcerned. “I get it. But consider--” fabric whips out from behind a pillow, matte and black-- “this.”
Chizuru blinks. “Wasn’t that in...?”
Yamazaki’s closet, she doesn’t say. Not when he shakes it out, turning it from cloth to clothing, a whole jumpsuit with fussy embroidery picked out in an even darker black.
“What’s that?” Shinpachi scoots to the edge of his chair, squinting. He must not have his contacts in. “Some sort of ninja costume?”
She knows better than to turn, to draw attention to the statue suddenly sitting across the table, but Chizuru can’t help it, not when Souji is so quick to say, “It is.” There’s enough relish in his tone that she can taste it. “And it’s Yamazaki’s.”
There’s a pause-- for effect, she’s sure, considering the way Souji grins. Like he’s pulled off some magic trick, making his troubles disappear in one hand and then plucking them out from behind Yamazaki’s ear.
“So?” Harada snorts, unimpressed. “Are you surprised? He’s been a ninja for Halloween like, what? Three years running? Since I’ve been here at least. What next? Gonna pull a sexy firefighter out of Shin’s closet?”
“Hey!” A hand presses right over WELL, leaving HORNY and HUNG peeking out from underneath it. “I’ve branched out! This year I was a sexy soldier.”
“How can you tell?” Heisuke mutters, hunched shoulders making his chest even narrower, more concave. “You’re only wearing like half a costume.”
“We’re not talking about Nagakura.” With all the subtlety of a bomb, Souji drops, “We’re talking about Mr Kiss-Ass and how he has like, five of these tucked away for a rainy day.”
It’s been three months since Chizuru managed to insinuate herself into the house, but not once has it been quiet. Even in the night there’s something: Shinpachi snoring, Harada’s flings trying to find the front door, Heisuke up entirely too late typing up papers or-- more likely-- playing video games. Something. But now--
Now it’s a ringing silence that’s left in Souji’s wake, an awkward air that has every shoulder stiff, every eye finding somewhere else to look besides the place where Yamazaki sits, still as a stone.
Or at least, until Hajime slides forward, dexterous fingers smoothing over the raised stitches of the sleeve. “Oh,” he hums, impressed. “Your skills have really improved since your last attempt. I take it this is for next weekend?”
“Ah...” He swallows, loud enough that even Chizuru can hear. “Y-yeah. The new kunai were too heavy for the belt, so I thought if I remade that, I might as well add a few more quality of life adjustments, and, er...”
“Oh my god,” Heisuke breathes, quivering like a corgi at the end of his leash. “Are you a real ninja?”
A broad hand cuffs him on the back of his head. “C’mon,” Harada mutters. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
If Yamazaki’s ears were painted pink before, they’re crimson now, hot enough to burn from touch alone. The square of his shoulders deflates, rounding with the slow leak of his confidence, but--
But Hajime simply nods, stroking his chin. “Perhaps I should look at my own as well. It hardly feels adequate next to all the work you’ve done.”
“Is this like...a sex thing?” Shinpachi’s eyes dart between the two of them. “It’s a sex thing, right?”
“No,” Yamazaki says, stern, immediately undermined by Hajime’s, “A little.”
It’s with a hefty heaping of betrayal that Yamazaki turns to him, glaring as he grounds out, “Absolutely not.”
Hajime’s mouth gives a dubious twist, and he opens it, perhaps to gainsay him, but--
But there’s no time, not when Heisuke practically explodes. “Are you a ninja too, Hajime?”
He blinks. “No.”
“Oh.” Heisuke deflates. “Okay, I guess...”
“I’m a samurai.”
“What--” Harada’s voice strains beneath the words “--is going on?”
“So let me get this straight.” Harada’s fingers pinch at the bridge of his nose, but by the wrinkle above them, Chizuru doubts it helps. “You two...dress up as samurai...?”
“I’m the samurai,” Hajime explains, so helpful. “Yamazaki is currently playing as a ninja. As he typically does.”
“You don’t have to tell them that,” he mutters. “That’s not really the point--”
“Right, of course, but...” Harada grimaces. “This is what you do on the weekends? For fun?”
A narrow shoulder lifts under Hajime’s tee, the closest he comes to a shrug. “An afternoon a month, to be more specific.”
“Once a month?” Heisuke asks, wide-eyed. “That doesn’t seem like a lot.”
“It takes a large amount of effort and dedication to keep up a long-form Live Action Roleplaying campaign,” he explains gravely. “That the organizers are able to run so often is a testament to their skill. And to run a weekend event--”
“So you mean you go there the whole weekend?” Heisuke blinks. “Like just forty-eight hours of samurai stuff?”
Hajime’s correction comes the same way as all his interactions: swiftly and without any judgment. “Seventy-two hours.”
Shinpachi goggles. “That’s a lot of fucking hours.”
“It is to aid with immersion.” Hajime isn’t a man of many words, but now he does not so much pause as he does breathe. “Unlike other games of its kind, Legend of the Five Rings does not focus so much on combat as it does internal conflict, and the robust worldbuilding--”
“This isn’t what they’re asking.” Yamazaki’s gaze darts wide-eyed around the table, never daring to stay longer than a blink. “You don’t have to--”
“--Is based on Sengoku Era Japan,” he continues, heedless. “As gratifying as it is to play on a regular basis, it really isn’t until a few hours into any session that people truly come to embody their roles. The court politics alone--”
“Saito.” Yamazaki may be seated at the opposite end of the living room, but his stare is enough to make even Hajime hesitate. “I think they get the idea.”
Harada looks between them, pained. “So are there...scripts or something?”
“No. Yes.” Hajime frowns. “It’s complicated. Each scene is improvised in character, but the organizers are present to facilitate the flow of the story. It is a collaborative effort.”
“But that’s it?” Heisuke asks. “You’re just like...samurai for a day? Or, er, three of them?”
“Yes.”
“And you do this--” Harada’s eyebrows furrow, pained “--for fun?”
Hajime doesn’t answer so much as cock his head, hands outspread as if to say, what else?
“That’s so...so cool!” Heisuke leaps to his feet, practically tripping over the table in his excitement. “Can I go? You guys gotta bring me!”
“What?” Harada blinks at him. “You want to go to this?”
“Uh, yeah?” His hands clench, too excited. “You get to be a samurai, Sano! Who wouldn’t want to?”
“Hey, so.” Shinpachi leans in, face pinched in curiosity. “Is this like...D&D or whatever?”
“In spirit,” Yamazaki creaks out, looking like death warmed over.
He nods. “Right, right. So like...a total sausage fest, or...?”
“The numbers on many tabletop games typically skews toward male,” Hajime explains, “but Live Action Roleplaying draws a higher percentage of female participants. Possibly due to the cosplay aspect.”
Shinpachi grins. “Oh, then count me in too, sensei.”
Harada stares at him. “Who are you?”
“What?” Shinpachi shrugs. “It’s math with babes. What’s not to love?”
“Ah...” Yamazaki waving hands don’t do much to hide his grimace. “I don’t really think this will be as interesting to you as you think...”
“He’s right,” Harada presses. “You may think it’s a good place to pick up women who aren’t afraid of, er, theoretical numbers--”
“They’re not theoretical,” Shinpachi huffs. “They’re real, it’s just the equations used to describe them are--“
“See? Already my eyes have glazed over.”
“I don’t know,” Chizuru hums, pitched just loud enough to be heard. “I think it sounds...fun?”
Yamazaki’s stare fixes on her. “Really?”
Even as a girl, Chizuru had never been one to play dress up, never been one to play pretend-- father didn’t approve, for one. Not when there were more direct benefits to be had from drilling flashcards or reading books. A second, her daydreams were vivid enough she hardly needed to act them out, not when Father was so apt to remind her, princesses don’t have to pass their medical exams.
But Yamazaki is as serious as they come, a TA for the dean of the pre-med department even before graduating. His acceptance to the medical school almost assured, and he finds this worth his time. Enough to have made a costume-- with his own hands!-- and sign up for a whole weekend away from his studies...
“Y-yeah.” She ducks her head, hoping to hide the heat that pricks at her cheeks. “I mean, as long as it wouldn’t be a bother for me to, um...”
“Ah, no! I mean, yes. Never.” Yamazaki shakes himself, pink staining the high arch of his cheekbones. “It’s not a problem.”
“Yeah, Chizu!” An arm clamps around her shoulders, dragging her against Shinpachi’s personal light display. “That’s right! Let’s all go. House field trip!”
Yamazaki’s jaw drops. “I don’t, er, know about that--!”
“Fine.” Harada sighs, getting to his feet. “If Chizuru wants to go. Count me in.”
“That’s the spirit!” Shinpachi claps him on the back, hard enough that even Harada has to cough. “Now, that just leaves...?”
“Uh-uh.” Souji’s arms fold over his chest, forbidding. “No way I’m going to your nerd party.”
“Aw, c’mon.” Shinpachi drops between them on the couch, arm pulling tight. “Think of it as a group bonding experience.”
Souji scowls. “What makes you think I care about bonding with any of you--”
“Well, if you’re going to be that way about it.” He squeezes tight enough to eke a squeak out of him. “Think about it as, ‘if you go we won’t tell Hijikata about you stealing shit.”
Souji glowers. “Fine,” he grumbles, shoving him off. “But I won’t like it!”
Shinpachi’s smile is all knives when he replies, “Wouldn’t expect you to.”
It’s dark when Chizuru stumbles out into the hall; there’d been daylight still when they’d piled into the parlor, but now night clings to the the edges of dusk, only enough light to gild the snow in golden shadow. It might bother her more if it wasn’t such a relief, a respite from having to scrape at the last reserve of her smiles. And so she takes it; one big breath and the muscles around her mouth slump, aching from use.
Any other night, she might worry about one of the boys following out behind her, but she can hear the ruckus shift from the parlor toward the kitchen, wheeled baggage and Shinpachi’s booming voice all tromping toward the back stair. Her day may have happened in fits and starts, but everyone else has been on the move, going from Christmas to short notice travel to fraught house meeting all within the space of hours. There’s no one who’s going to be worried about her.
Which suits her just fine. A few minutes lying face down on her comforter and she’ll be right as rain. Just a breath or two to herself, and--
Someone huffs behind her. Right behind her.
She whips around so fast, she nearly tumbles Yamazaki into the wall with her. Or at least his arm, half outstretched, now just hanging there in the air between them.
“Oh!” There’s no reason for her to shy back, but she does, guiltier with every inch. “Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to--”
“No, no. It’s my fault.” His hands aren’t large, not like Harada or Shinpachi, but the fingers are long and tapered, digging runnels through the shaggy bristle of his hair. “I should have-- ah, I mean, I just saw you, and er, wanted to make sure that you were all right. After, ah...all that.”
Her first instinct urges her to laugh, to let her nerves giggle out, there’s no need to worry about me--
But Yamazaki stares at her with the same careful intensity as he had in the kitchen-- you’re worth a good meal-- and Chizuru tries deflection instead. “I’m the one who should be asking you that! I went into your room without any permission and all, and Souji--” Yamazaki grimaces at the name “---I just...you have every right to be mad at me!”
“You?” he echoes, incredulous. “It’s not your fault, Yukimura. Okita’s the one who dragged you in there.”
She shakes her head. “I could have chosen to leave any time. I just was too curious to think to question him.”
“Curious?” There’s no inflection to the word, and with the shadows making a muddle of his expressions, there’s only the tilt of his head to tell here there’s a question. “Why would you be curious?”
“Ah, I’d just...never been inside before?” Her palms clap to her cheeks, and oh, she must glow from how hot her cheeks burn. “It’s silly.”
“It’s not! It’s just, ah...unexpected. I...” His mouth opens, as if he might say more, but with a lick of his lips, it closes instead. Or rather, his chin dips down and it follows, gaze dropping from her eyes to somewhere at her neck. As if...
“Oh, did I spill...?” She can’t actually remember what she’s eaten today, whether it could be something that she could walk around wearing, but Yamazaki’s already shaking his head.
“Ah, no, it’s just...you still have...” His fingers curl hesitantly in the air between them. “If you would let me...?”
Every twitching nerve of her stills as he steps close, fingers skimming past her shoulders. Only days ago she’d knotted his scarf, but it feels different now that he’s the one reaching, so close his hand meet behind her neck. He’s not bundled up now, no three layers of wool and thermal and parka to keep her from realizing that he smells nice, like...like something clean with a hint of eucalyptus, and it’s...
It’s a lot.
His fingers knit into the fabric at her nape, too slippery for him to find the end of it by touch. At least, the first time; he gathers it up, hiking it higher and higher until he can slide under it, the flat of his nails smooth and warm against her neck. Her pulse pounds so hard he must feel it, but Yamazaki doesn’t flinch, instead lifting it with surgical precision. The stretchy fabric threads right off her ponytail with no more than that initial brush of fingers, and she--
She stare. It’s the mask. The one Souji put on her. All this time, and she’s-- she’s just been wearing it, like some sort of...scarf. Right over her tanuki pajamas. In front of everyone.
In front of Yamazaki.
If she could melt into the woodwork, it would be a miracle. But as always, reality refuses to oblige her. “Oh, I hadn’t even...ah...”
“Please, don’t worry about it.” His fingers smooth over the fabric, mouth curving into a rueful smile. “It looked better on you than it does on me.”
“Ah!” Her gasp catches in her throat. “That’s not...um...” She hakes her head, hoping that might clear enough room for a sentence or two to compose itself. “I don’t think that’s true.”
Yamazaki glances up at her, amused, and oh-- she hadn’t meant to say that. Not like that.
“You know, I meant to...” He stops himself. Not abruptly, like she does, but a slow, thoughtful halt. Like a train pulling into a station rather than a car braking for a yellow light. “I mean, I don’t think I ever got around to saying it last night, and today, with everything...well”
He hesitates again, a breath hissing between his teeth. But this time his shoulders square, and even though his gaze is lost in the shadow of his brows, she knows he’s looking at her. “Merry Christmas, Yukimura.”
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myokk · 2 months ago
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Sebastian Sallow's List of Priorities (in no particular order):
Figure out what the hell I'm going to do when I graduate;
Figure out how the hell I'm going to finish this bloody Charms essay before tomorrow; and
Figure out what the hell is going on between us
Sebastian sits in an undisturbed corner of the library - nobody ever comes to this table because it's tucked away between shelves of incredibly dense magical theory books - and is twirling his quill in his fingers, watching the ink splatter on the list he spent his precious time writing instead of the Charms essay he should be working on. He's far away from the first-years who like to congregate by the windows and watch the leaves fall softly to the ground rather than study for their classes. He's made especially sure that he is far, far away from her.
It's not his choice, mind you, but he needs to be a gentleman about these things. If she needs some time and space to figure out that she's as crazy for him as he is her, fine. But even Sebastian Sallow's patience runs thin, and he's not sure how much longer he can give her to come to her senses before he snaps and takes matters into his own hands. If things were up to him, the two of them would be sitting far too close together now in this secluded corner, and maybe he would need to put a hand over her mouth to ensure her complete silence as he runs a hand up her thigh.
Now that he knows what delicious sounds can come out of her mouth - sounds that he caused - he's been having a hard time concentrating on, well, anything. Sebastian surreptitiously glances across the library to where she's sitting and studying with his sister and Imelda. Ever since the events after their Divination class, Sir Cadogan has taken it upon himself to follow Sebastian around the halls of the castle, tripping through frames and disrupting their inhabitants as he lectures Sebastian on love. The tea party women had managed to convince the knight that he had disrupted an amorous exchange, and Sebastian fervently wishes they hadn't.
The whole school is abuzz with rumors about who it could be. Nobody has even come close so far with their guesses, but Anne and Imelda are having too much fun teasing him about it. Somehow, she has managed to avoid suspicion - he wonders how this is even possible, since she's never been able to hide what she's thinking. He makes eye contact with her - has she been staring at him this whole time? - and she flushes before looking over to Imelda, who's laughing too loudly at something Anne's just said. Sebastian can't tear his eyes away from her profile, his eyes following the curve of her eyebrow, the slight upturn of her lips as she smiles at her friends, her eyes as they dart back to him, her cheeks as she turns an even darker shade of red as she realizes he's still watching her. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and rests her chin on her hand as she tries to look absorbed in what Anne is saying to her.
Sebastian wonders if she's thought about him as much as he's thought about her. Judging by how she had snogged him back, he's positive that she feels the same way, but then he remembers how she had looked at him before she fled, and he's not so sure. He sighs as he looks back to his list, bringing his quill back to the third item and ripping the paper as he crosses it out again. His mind has been going in circles since that moment and he doesn't know what to think. He slowly puts everything into his schoolbag before heading out of the library for yet another freezing cold shower that hopefully tempers his now-permanent state of arousal whenever she's around.
He doesn't notice her eyes following him as he walks out of the library.
He doesn't hear her hurried excuse to Anne and Imelda as she shoves her things into her bag and rushes to follow him.
He doesn't hear her light footsteps as she gets closer to him.
When she puts a hand out to touch his arm as he waits for the moving staircase to stop, with a soft, "Sebastian" accompanying it, he nearly jumps out of his skin. He was so absorbed with thoughts of her, that to see her standing at his side, closer than she had been since they kissed was almost his snapping point.
"Can we talk?" she asks, looking almost embarrassed as she avoids his eyes. She instead looks determinedly at his collar. He thinks she probably notices that he swallows nervously before acquiescing, but she says nothing as she turns and starts hurrying away from him without waiting to see if he follows her.
She must know that he would follow her anywhere at this point.
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from my oneshot🫶🫶🫶
I just really wanted to draw these two idiots😭💘
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angy-grrr · 5 months ago
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Not to sound pessimistic, but the so-called ''cliffhanger'' seems to be about building up for a love confession rather than secretly trying to add a subversion of a (shounen) trope.
We literally have only 2 chapters left. What can he even do to change this atp? And that interview doesn't sound that great. It reminded me of my AoT fan days back in the day and how disappointed we were by the author's interviews abt that show.
sorry idk what interview you are referring to/gen
you can interpret it as a build up for a confession -I’m not the author, I have no authority over the work, and my perspective is as valid in terms of canon as yours. But I want to make you another question:
what part of this chapter made you think that?
when reading it all together, the feelings she is hiding during the whole chapter are revealed at the end -she is sad over Himiko’s sacrifice and can’t pretend to be happy with this ending even if everyone else is smiling. And Izuku gets worried about her, noticing there’s something wrong along Tsuyu -they are both her closest friends and perceptive; in the dorms, she tells others Ochako said she’s coming home but doesn’t even read her messages (implying this is weird for her), and when looking for her, using OFA probably to get faster, he sees her holding her stomach and crying on a cliff.
You can see all of this however you want, even if you don’t like what you interpret in the end, but personally I completely understand why Deku would do that for her -I too have gone out of my way for a friend in possible danger- and I can’t see how Hori could make any of them confess and focus the conversation around each other when she’s grieving heavily. “What can he even do to change this at this point” change what? if you mean to twist this cliffhanger, I think it can easily be done -for example, instead of focusing on a romance talk between them for some reason, keep talking about the villains and heroes. Because there’s no footage of their fight Izuku probably doesn’t even know Toga sacrificed herself for Uraraka, so there’s a potential interesting conversation that brings back the whole “I’m kinda weird” theme while confirming they are characters with their own ideals and feelings that can be different while still similar. Also, they just need to have a talk no matter what -whether Horikoshi decides to bring it up to make them a couple or not, a call back to the conversation before the final war is good, they need it. It would be harder to go for a love confession between them in my opinion -how do you even go from feeling devastated and missing what looks like a dead person, to focus on loving another one and wanting to pursue a relationship? Even some shippers who are reading the leaks feel it’s wrong, not even bittersweet, just an insult to the ship and the characters. How do you make Izuku and Ochako a couple in two chapters when the last thing we have is her crying over someone else? It was as simple as also mentioning her feelings for him in this chapter -then we would understand she needs to express those too or she will break. But this just tells me she has to talk about Toga and what she felt about their fight, reconciliation and sacrifice.
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iamafictionfreak · 2 days ago
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Hello, hello!!!
So… it’s been a while. I know I promised/offered/hoped for more of this. And... even though it’s been months, I've finally managed to write the next part.
Not to be deceiving, but part 2 is literally episode 2 only. I'm going the way of Loaded march and posting oneshot's with a rough length of about 20, 000 words? Give or take 5000.
Ever read Footloose’s Loaded March? The Merthur fic to end all Merthur fics?
For those here who aren’t Merthur veterans – we hold weekend group therapy sessions, and depression Thursdays – Loaded March is a series of stories (16 in all) amounting to 1,261,720 words, which is mind boggling to me, and each story is never more than either a oneshot or a handful of chapters until you reach the end.
So, I’m doing that here. Highest form of flattery there is.
So, yep. Part 2 is written and it's around 20000 words - Once it's edited I'll upload, very hopeful for a release by New year. Each episode will be the equivalent of a mini arc but it'll likely be a while before part 3 etc.
As with the above post, I’m aiming, if I actually manage to get there, to cover the rest of season 1 and leave it in a good place. It’s basically a retelling of the show, except with Arthur knowing Merlin’s secret, which changes everything. The juicy part is how this is investigated, developed and how it may or may not alter events as these two idiots progress.
Forewarning: don’t expect a light and fluffy time. Yes, I’m hoping it will be humorous. It’ll likely be dark at times, angsty. Painful. But the light is the key, and the relationship between Arthur and Merlin, the core. It’s, hopefully (pleasepleaseplease) full of adventure and truth and fun!
Unfortunately, Arthur, as you’ve seen, won’t immediately be buddy buddy with the personification of ‘evil’ that his father has raised him to want to destroy. We have a trained killer with a nobility made of steel and a heart as fragile as a bird’s. We have a soft and squishy peasant boy beholding the world's heart of gold, a primal gaze who is an unforeseen powerhouse with unlimited potential to grow into the most formidable man on the planet.
In the show, we see Merlin change over time, moving from servant to devotee of Arthur but kept very much isolated and shadowed. It leads to a very bittersweet end and a deeply fearful Merlin who should never have had to be. With said man knowing the truth, how does that change this growth. I’m not a fan of unearned progression so please don’t expect these two to become the best of friends in the space of 2 chapters.
In the show they fit all the definitions yet fit exactly none of them. They’re friends, except they’re not because their social status gets in the way. They’re devoted comrades, except they’re not because how can they be when such huge secrets stand between them. They’re each other’s protector, except neither really knew it nor understood what it meant. Arthur became Merlin’s purpose, and no one ever knew that heartbreakingly beautiful truth, so he couldn’t serve said purpose to his fullest potential. Arthur was never able to know what it was like to have someone like that by his side because even when he married Gwen, there was a piece if himself that he kept concealed. Watch season 5 and you’ll see what I mean and it’s because of that, that Gwen feels so alone at times.
The show held such potential. And luckily fan works aren’t limited by money or stereotypes or backwards thinking or, oddly enough, a yearning to thrown in a boatload of realism in the last half hour of a supremely unrealistic show.
This fic will not be halted or forced or rushed into romance of any kind. I have an issue with unearned progression. Natural chemistry leads to places yes, but people don't usually just fall in love and go with the flow.
The possibilities are delicious, won’t lie. If Arthur and Merlin had been allowed to ‘touch that’ in the show, the depth of it - the many layers it would have added - would have taken it in a very different direction, one that didn’t fit BBC goals at the time. Imagine all the S1/2 episodes with a bi Arthur. How that alone changes everything about it. Likewise, rewatch the episodes and imagine that it circles certain forbidden feelings and suddenly it’s so much more. I also won’t destroy existing love angles for the sake of something that I want more. No, it needs to feel natural. We’ll see what happens.
If you have questions, throw them at me, whether I answer them is another thing entirely.
I hope you’re all okay at the very least. It’s been a tough few years.
P.S I was going to wait until the third part was written as well, but the year has been hard; I've been sick, I've gotten a new far more stressful job and I've begun it question whether we really do exist within a 'matrix', so it feels right to post a sequel at christmas when merlin did everything to kill us once upon a time.
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*not my gif*
In a Land of Christmas, and a Time of Fanfiction, There was an Irritated Woman in Dire Need of a Re-Write:
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(gifs not mine - they're from @genyakosstyk)
So… I did it! I did exactly what I said I’d do here. I wrote the start of what could become a long-winded piece of diatribe focusing on how much Merlin the tv series could have healed us instead of hurt us.
I can’t tell if I’m overly ambitious, a little desperate (about anything and everything honestly) or just so done with 2023 and the crap-tastic news it generates. That and, I have this on repeat in my mental-space, which is more of a shed than a palace:
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(gif from @punqueen13 )
So that's fun.
It’s forgivable to escape horror or fear or fatigue or guilt and grief by diving into fantasy. And is there anything more fantastical than merlin? Merlin and all the promise it brings. Is there any wonder why fics are still being churned out for a series that ended 11 years ago?
So here it is.
Part 1 of one. I’ve written a short, five chapter thing. It isn’t a prologue, it’s an intermission between episode 1 and 2 of season 1. The chapters are short for a reason, but I wanted to give a mix of both Arthur and Merlin povs so do let me know if they’re extremely out of character – I can handle a little ooc, especially given the nature of fanfic but if I can’t hear their voices in my head or see them as I read, I feel like I’ve failed.
I think I did ok?
The premise is simple:
Arthur sees Merlin, a peasant he had a brief altercation with, use magic to save his life. He should tell his father about. He should arrest Merlin.
He doesn’t. His honour being at risk, he allows Merlin to work for him on the proviso that he doesn’t use magic. Ever.
Except Arthur has questions he’s never been given the answers to. And Merlin is – odd. He’s nothing like what Arthur’s been told a sorcerer is and he makes it all too easy for Arthur to drop his guard around him.
Which- well, it must be magic, right?
His father, his attendants and tutors, have taught him about the manipulations of witchcraft and sorcery and how they can twist a man into feeling empathy for the wicked.
The problem is that Merlin isn’t exactly what he’d call wicked. Arthur trusts his own instincts and they’re telling him very different things to what the king decreed. He vows to watch over his new manservant. The moment he commits treason, he’ll run a sword through him.
And in the meantime, maybe – just maybe – he’ll find out for himself if a man who turns to evil, can’t turn back.
I’LL POST EACH CHAPTER WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEK SEASONAL PERIOD.
But.
There will then be a wait for part 2 – if anyone truly wants it, that is. And if not, hey. I had fun writing this.
Other bits and bobs and odds and sods:
Will there be romance?
Eventually! But I do wonder with who you mean? And this is first and foremost an experiment about how Merlin and Arthur could have been if what when how and why. If Arthur had Merlin's full trust and if Merlin was allowed past the walls Arthur had erected to keep even Gwen out, what could they have become?
Is it funny?
I HAVE NO IDEA. I truly hope so though, at east a little. There's some seriousness ahead to get through first though, Arthur isn't just going to jump into trust.
Will there be a lot of differences from season 1?
I aiming for exactly that.
How much trouble is Merlin in? More than season 1?
Ahem, have you seen the below man?
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Merlin's in ALL the trouble. He just doesn't know yet that trouble is his home-spice.
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kenzan-kiwami · 10 months ago
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to be completely frank i think most of the people i've seen with major complaints regarding RGG 8's story are forgetting that 99% of what they're saying can be applied across the whole series
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