#and i guess phil is here too

[tomfrogisblue]

Cellbit created and maintained The Order.

Forever created and maintained N.I.N.H.O.

Our once safest places are in the hands of madmen.

[ratethednpvideo]

[bitchslapblastoids]

an actual tag in the rpftourney battle to the death notes that just made me actual snort:

[valentinaonthemoon]

I spent yesterday evening watching commentary videos on youtube and I found uncle herman's video about Dan and Phil's phandom. My gosh.

These two people were in the closet figuring out sexuality and too much fame too quickly, while people they didn't know were scavenging the Internet for any sign of them being together? Stalker behaviour.

I get Dan calling them creeps every chance he got.

And there's "the video", too, that I've never seen but I think somebody linked it to me in text form once. That's incredibly personal! It was never meant to be seen by anyone else (and honestly youtube crashing didn't help) why is it still going around?

Genuinely, you know what? I think Dan and Phil now look happy and content. IF they are in a romantic relationship, I genuinely hope that they will only disclose it when they're comfortable to, and if that's never, that would be even funnier.

I've followed them for ten years but never got in the fandom, because I was not that comfortable in shipping them, especially because both of them were very uncomfortable with it themselves, even though they did joke about it all the time.

But when you are an internet celebrity, the first of its kind, you're trying to build a fun relationship with your audience, but they keep trying to invade your personal life, that's not fun at all.

I get why Dan had to get away from it.

Honestly, their videos (especially Dan's) have been very important to me in my formative years, and I'll always be grateful to them.

I remember when Dan posted his coming out video and I was crying relating to his fear of coming out, and in the meantime ppl in the comments were like 'aw he said that Phil is an important part of his life'.

What are we talking about???

I don't know, man. I'm generally on board with shipping stuff. You can ship whoever you want, be it real or fictional, go wild! It's your imagination!

But! If that actually impacts someone's personal life, you should probably calm down.

Scream about it in your pillow, do NOT keep it up under every post!

It's a good thing they learnt to joke about it and make it a marketable thing for them, but it's still at their expense, and I hope that their work personas won't ruin their irl relationship, whatever that is.

(And this goes for all the 'real life ships' I see on my timelines and dashboards, btw. Just mind how your actions can affect a person.)

[shoutsindwarvish]

having ocd is dumb

when i told my therapist about my sexual intrusive thoughts back in july, i felt like a disgusting human being and a great deal of shame. she did not blink and gave me tips to stop “compulsing” and face them head-on (basically a form of exposure therapy) and it sucked so bad but i got them fully under control within a month.

i’d barely even noticed them for months but they’ve started getting louder and more insistent again with a slightly different flavor, this time the idea that i’ll actually act on them. i know i will not. i do not believe the thoughts, i have no identification with the thoughts, and i know full well that the brain is bringing it up specifically because it goes against my values and it’s the equivalent of a child showing me a gross bug they found to see my reaction. as of now, i am not in full spiral and am actively fighting the desire to argue with or avoid them and to instead just look straight at them and sit with them…to varying degrees of success.

i’m mostly just exasperated. it feels like i have an obnoxious younger sibling in my head trying to rile me up and telling them to shut up only encourages them that they’re on the right track and it’s like

[thebackupsystem]

Can a guy go. One fucking day? Without seeing more shit about his source?

I’m already fucking dying I don’t need to be reminded he’s a shit person on the daily

ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ᵃˡʳᵉᵃᵈʸ ᵗᵃᵏᵉⁿ ᵗᵒ ʰᶦᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵈᵃᵈ’ˢ ʷᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ

[captainreecejames]

Hey Girlie || My Ex is a Footballer LN4 Edition

links [masterlist] [my ex series masterlist] [part 2]

summary YN LN is dating Phil foden until he cheats on her. She finds out from a F1 driver

pairing ex!Phil Foden x reader, Lando Norris x FEM!reader

faceclaim giorgia wingham

warnings cursing, man city hate, phil foden hate

notes this is supposed to take place after the monaco gp so please just ignore the dates lol 🙏🏼🙏🏼. also congrats to lando for winning the miami gp i guess, trump ruined it for me.

yn's twitter dms --------

twitter -------

yn posted ---------

liked by bsfinstagram, landonorris and others

ynusername it's a prop!!! that's why I colored over it!!!!

load more comments

jonnybernthal fuck that bitch! Miss you girl! ↳ ynusername miss you too jon

bsfinstagram ma'am you slayed, literally ↳ ynusername shhhhh 🤫

username41 yes girl!!!

username42 she said life lately, might be committing some crimes ↳ ynusername no crimes committed, physically

username43 man shitty lolololol

username44 should be a fan of man utd ↳ ynusername lol no thanks

yourmominsta you look beautiful baby ↳ ynusername thanks momma! 🩷

username46 why did lando like? ↳ username47 like what are you doing here boy??

username48 she always used to comment blue hearts but they're gone now :( ↳ username49 yeah well i would stop using my cheating ex boyfriends colors too ↳ username48 why do men have to ruin everything?

landonorris posted --------

username51 go lando!!!

username52 you got this landito

username53 time to put the nowins nickname to bed!!

oscarpiastri you got this buddy

georgerussell63 home race time!

ynusername wahoooo!

username54 not yn here in the comments ↳ username55 the most random pairing ive ever seen ↳ username56 he liked her last pic, need to know when they met!

yn's messages ---------

😏😏😏😏 yeah that's how she ends

[gamora-borealis]

here's the thing. to outsiders it may seem like we're excited because "phan is real!!" or whatever. but they don't know... it's not about that. phan has been real this entire time. there's always been evidence that dan and phil were together, more or less (more evidence than I think some people realize). the reason phan™ is such a big deal is because two silly gay boys met online in 2009, but their fame quickly outgrew their comfort zone and they quickly went back in the closet. dan was so traumatized from being bullied in school that he had a public meltdown on tumblr in 2012 insisting he was straight after some very private stuff leaked (that he insisted was a unused prank). after going to therapy and meeting so many queer fans on tour, dan slowly began to hint again that he was queer. but it still took them until 2019 to officially come out! and like. dan essentially confirmed that yes all the public online flirting back in 2009/2010 between him and phil was very real and that they were "more than just romantic" at that point and were currently "real best friends, life companions, and soulmates." but that was it, they weren't going to share any more. which is perfectly fine, but some of that definitely had to do with dan wanting to explore himself outside of the Dan and Phil™ brand (which unfortunately he got fucked over by the pandemic and by YouTube in the process). however they did eventually make a very cute announcement that they had bought and designed a new house together. and bit by bit they started making some more coupley jokes about each other here and there and sharing glimpses of a bedroom with both of their stuff in it, though it was still fairly subdued. but then dan finally got to go do his solo comedy tour and when he came back, shit suddenly CHANGED. 2023 was wild. they brought back their joint gaming channel they hadn't touched in five years since just before they came out. and they basically started the public flirting again??? this time on camera??? maybe not as direct as the 2009 stuff at first but. it's definitely been building up close to it. and then Dan finally releases his comedy special for free on YouTube. Phil writes a gushy tweet about it. and dan just replies with 🧡. ...except for within a larger birthday tweet in 2023, dan had not used a heart emoji for phil since like... 2010??? and then suddenly he screenshots this interaction and POSTS IT ON HIS YOUTUBE COMMUNITY TAB with the caption "gay" and a link to his special. like. this isn't about confirmation... the people who have been saying that they probably aren't together or that you shouldn't think or wonder if they are were like, the twitter morality police, ex-phannies, and generally clueless people. tumblr phannies clearly have known that they've been gay for each other for the past 15 years. but this whole "gay 🧡" incident is the first time Dan Howell has very publicly said something like this about his relationship while being "unapologetically gay" as a very public figure (there's been some magazine interviews that technically have come close but, nothing as direct as this). like that is so fucking huge??? that he and phil are finally comfortable enough online, on YouTube, and in life, to go there!!! as we are now approaching fifteen years of them together too!!! like, it's so nice to get to celebrate such a happy queer relationship and expression of queer joy. and dan has hinted that bigger stuff is coming too... like. yeah phan is real I guess 🙃

[royalarchivist]

Phil: That's crazy– by the way, what's up with you FCKIN THREATENING Missa? Get those cat ears off.

Bad: What the fudge are you talking about? I would never do that! Threaten someone? That's crazy!

Phil: I literally have– I literally have a note from him that says... uh hold on, let me find it. Let me find it, where is it. Sht, I lost it.

Bad: Read the note? What does it say.

Phil: [Grumbling] I lost it.

Bad: You have a lot of penguins by the way, you should really do something about that.

Phil: [Grumbles] I don't know where I put the note. [Laughs]

Bad: [Trying not to laugh] Well, if the note doesn't exist... I guess it wasn't real!

Phil: Shut up! [Laughs] Alright, here it is, here it is. [To Tubbo] CAN YOU STOP?! Oh my god, Toby! Holy sht, alright.

Bad: He wants more, Tubbo!

Phil: Here here here, look. [Reading Missa's book] "Don't trust Badboyhalo, he killed some rabbits I worked with some raccoons and he killed those guys too. I'm so scared, please help, holy molly canoli. He threatened me. Take care of our beautiful eggs, I don't want to put you guys in danger." You threatened– you threatened Missa.

Bad: That's crazy, I didn't know Missa wrote fanfiction! That's crazy. What a crazy story!

Phil: [Phil punches him] I'm so done with your sht. [Laughs] I'm so done with—

[thighguys]

Phan Fic Recs!!

here's a bunch of my absolute favorites for anyone who needs a distraction from the election <3 i will make a second post with shorter ones as well, this post will just be fics that are over 10k

Inheriting Love by Fictropes (22k)- Dan is a lawyer who executes wills in a small town in the English countryside, and Phil's aunt leaves him a house. One of the cutest fics I've read recently tbh, lots of banter and cows<3

Silver Arrows to the Heart by @evermorepeyton (137k, WIP)- How could i POSSIBLY make a rec list without including this masterpiece??? Dan and Phil are Formula 1 drivers, chaos ensues<3 sooooo much fun (and there are some really beautiful cool women in there too, just as a treat)

dancing on the blades (you set my heart on fire) by kishere (123k)- Dan is an amateur figure skater who scores a spot at the famous Lester training gym, where he meets the legendary Phil Lester and of course they fall in love... this one has sooo many cute fetus moments and wonderful cameos from Kath<3 absolutely love it

Like a Bowl of Oranges by cloej88 (@bitchslapblastoids) (47k)- Phil is a filmmaker looking to amplify queer stories in the media, Dan is a ghostwriter who's been writing a memoir on the side, you can guess what happens next. very VERY fun fic, lots of drama and lovely reflection, as well as the softest scenes between them. love this one (and the author :3)

The Odd Uneven Time by @yikesola (20k)- A 2009 fic from Phil's perspective, falling in love with a boy over the Internet. Absolutely WONDERFUL vibes, so so so cute (and it probably happened in real life ahaha)

Live Incidentally by yikesola (37k)- Phil makes novelty t-shirts and Dan buys them :) really funny, also some great Lester family moments

The Pianist Everyone Is Talking About... Is My Husband by @natigail (25k)- Dan is a famous pianist, Phil plays his songs on the radio, but nobody knows that they're actually married. Lots of chaos ensues, crazy fangirls can feel super represented, and Dan laughs at Phil about it all<3 this fic is so funny lol, highly HIGHLY recommend

Kick Me While I'm Down by jerserker (14k)- Dan and Phil join an adult kickball league! Phil just wants to make friends, and Dan... kicks everyone's asses <3 Really funny competitive Dan, fun times honestly :)

missing the obvious by Fictropes (14k)- Dan plays videogames in an anonymous Discord server at night, and during the day he goes to his boring office job and hooks up with his coworker Phil in bathroom stalls... I wonder how these two things could possibly be connected...

Our House by sierradeux (50k)- Dan is a real estate agent, Phil is a Youtube house flipper, they team up to cohost an HGTV renovation special and fall in love. With the house, obviously. But also with each other <3 this is one of my favorites guys I think it should be required reading for everyone on phannie tumblr

maybe this christmas by blackbirddan (13k)- it's November, im allowed to rec christmas fics now, right??? anyway, this one is HUGE for fans of the Lester and Howell families, just so so so soft and sweet and awesome<3

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY by natigail (176k)- i mean this one has a pretty self explanatory title... read for super hot dancer Phil, awkward celebrity Dan, and so so so many beautiful outfit and dance descriptions :3 seriously, I wish I could watch this season irl :( this is for sure in my top 3 fics of all time to be so honest

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? by natigail (15k)- Cornelia pov on meeting the boy Phil brought home, and then throughout the years. SO CUTE!!!!! really big for fans of outsider pov (me)

okie dokie<3 i will be making an under 10k rec list as well, so be on the lookout for that one!

[ingydar-phan]

Ok I do want to chime in on the convo but actually this is gonna be really long because I’ve been planning to make a huge post about this since the tour trailer came out. Like genuinely I messaged some people asking for tips on how to make a big conversation post weeks ago and then just never did it. So here goes I guess.

I am a firm believer they are going to hard launch soon. In some way shape or form. Before tour starts. That is a stance I have held ever since I watched pizza mukbang 2. And I have explanations.

My main points come from the coming out parallel surrounding Dans internalized homophobia and trauma responses and fear of rejection (more on that later), and also my hypothesized “3 stages” of the gaming channel revival.

I believe that when the gaming channel was revived, starting with the Heartthrob video, they entered stage 1: experimenting with audiences desire for a return to content. This was a phase they themselves discussed in Dans Birthday Stream and in Pizza Mukbang 2. The first few months were experimenting with what a new audience would look like and how much they were wanted, in what contexts, and what kind of content. I also think this wraps into the dynamic difference between Dan and Phil as people. Note, I love them both dearly and want nothing but the best for them both. It has been made clear that they did very different things during the hiatus, with Phil initiating the gaming channel comeback. Before Dan came out, he was under an immense feeling of guilt and pressure, even by his own mind. He had the option of leaving the internet forever, and he certainly considered it. Finish off the gaming channel, go on one last tour, and leave. Never having to adress anything again. But he didn’t do that. He came back. He came out. And he was greeted with the kindest, warmest, most accepting response. And he did work! He wrote a book! He went on a solo tour! And to echo both Dan himself and all of the community, he needed this. He needed this time of healing and this era of self discovery. He wouldn’t be who he is today without it, and I’m so proud of him.

But Phil? Oh Phil was just cruising along. That’s not at all to discredit any form of hardship Phil went through, but it certainly wasn’t the same. Phil was making content before Dan was, back in 2006. In uni, Phil was comfortable in his sexuality (or some form of queerness). But he waited. He waited to come out until Dan was ready. Because he’s a wonderful partner. He was happy continuing Amazingphil regardless of hiatus, of Dans needs, because he knew he didn’t have to pressure Dan into anything he didn’t want or wasn’t ready for. And then, presumably when Dan was ready, Phil proposed a gaming channel comeback. Just try it out, just see how it feels, low commitment. And what happened? Once again, they were showered with love and adoration and support and acceptance. Was the fandom different than how it used to be? Absolutely. But it was beautiful and loving. So that’s stage 1. Experimenting with content and viewership and re-entering the branding of Dan and Phil (Games).

Then, I believe after stage 1 came stage 2. Experimenting with audience reaction to Dan and Phil as a couple. I want to stake my claim here that everything they do is meticulously curated. Sure, Phil’s toe popping out of his sock wasn’t purposeful, but it was certainly handled intentionally. They’re extremely seasoned creators, and everything they do is for a reason. (That’s why I love rpf hehe). This, my “stage 2”, is when they were dipping their toes more into phan stuff. The orange heart. The “gay” community tab. Using the “ph-“ prefix THEMSELVES a lot more. Dab and Evan comparisons. This was the middle ground. How would people react? Would they turn away because it’s too much? Would they begin stalking and creeping all over again? Or would they accept these people for what they are. As much as people like to think Dan and Phil are just silly whimsical guys who are perfect no matter what they do (which is accurate as well tbf), they also know what they’re doing. They do these things on purpose to gauge audience reaction, to see how people feel about it. As others have said, what we see publicly is just a tiny sliver of their real life. Yea, even the domestic videos. It’s curated. And it’s wonderful. It’s so endearing they choose to share these things. Even in times of uncertainty. But that uncertainty was met with absolute acceptance.

Which is how we get into stage 3. I think “stage 3” started developing around the time of Dans Birthday Stream, but really actually started when the tour trailer was posted, and then all the videos after that (pizza mukbang, dressing each other, chained together, tiktoks, etc etc). So, very recently. But something shifted. Maybe it’s in the air, maybe it’s just me, maybe we all need to go outside. But something shifted. Dan and Phil, but especially Dan, saw how they were being accepted and took that as an affirmation. An affirmation that everything is going to be okay. They can commit now. They can go full on. Full hard launch.

I think everyone has a different definition of hard launch, and even I think it varies by context. But what I mean here is not necessarily them making some video called “Dan and Phil are romantically together” and staring at the camera with a gun to their head. It doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have to be that.

Straight people get this privilege of being assumed straight without having to “come out”. They get this comfort of having relationships without having to scream it in everyone’s faces.

And I do indeed agree with what people mean when they say they have already hard launched. They’re husbands, soulmates, 4000 year old tortoises, “basically any other gay couple”, more than just romantic, yea. I get it. But people are fucking stupid. Non-queer people don’t understand nuance, and need everything handed to them on a silver platter. Dan and Phil are together. People who try to twist and turn to try and “prove” they’re anything but a committed romantic and sexual relationship are ignorant at best, but mainly using homophobic wishful thinking. However, there’s more to go. There’s a reason we’re all “terrified” for what is to come. Because everything, the past 15 years of all of our lives, of their life, is coming together. It’s genuinely beautiful.

So what do I mean by hard launch then? Well, I mean a lack of censorship (besides what’s reasonable. Though we’d all love to see them fuck on YouTube, I’m not sure that’s happening any time soon). I mean a lack of shame. A lack of hiding. And it’s already begun. That’s what I feel stage 3 to be and have been. In pizza mukbang 2, they say things such as “cheers dear”, which is intentional. The “gay uncles” and the “kneeing” is all intentional. It’s not just throwaway jokes, it’s them looking us in the eyes and saying “we see you”. I have a whole list of stage 3 things. The intentional Incohearant cards. The “my face hurts from smiling” comments. THE HANDS ON THE SHOULDER TO THE HAND ON THE KNEE. Them being so open about their secluded romantic holiday. The relentless Phil bottom jokes. The yaoi day tweet from the outfits video. The “who would jump for you like that dog jumped for that man” “you”. It’s all there. It’s all intentional. And I’m so grateful for it.

One of my mutuals who I talked about this with (not gonna name cuz idk if they want me to) talked about their theory that DNP have given barely any info about tour because it requires some form of hard launch to preface it. And honestly? I didn’t even realize that was a theory. I sort of already accepted that as fact. How open IS the door gonna be?

So yea, I hope this makes sense. Please feel free to respond with or send asks of any nuances or questions or theories you’d like to add. I don’t intend this to be shaming anyone who thinks differently. Even if I may vehemently disagree with someone in my head, I don’t think these people are evil or malicious or objectively bad or deserving of hate. These are just my thoughts. I’ll likely be adding more. Thanks for reading.

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: Turning 30

The Great shift was a huge time in many people’s lives. Especially those with birthdays who fell around the time of the great shift. Some turning 18, others turning 80! But still others had their hearts set on a time in their life that was quite pivotal. However, because of the shift some may have to wait a little longer to reach that milestone, while others have jumped leaps and bounds beyond it!

Harvey Singh (30 years old)

Fuuuck my head… and my clothes apparently. Damn. This is not what I imagined turning 30 would be like! 

Before the world went insane, I was so close! The damn great shift just had to happen right before my birthday. I was working at this law firm, a pretty shady place at first. Lots of scummy people taking advantage of others, but my boss was trying to turn it around! We kicked out those idiots who were causing trouble, got them arrested! I was gonna get promoted and help lead the charge for helping others… but not anymore.

The great shift landed me inside of Skyler Marlo! 18 year old quarterback for the local university. And right after a big party too. I couldn’t find a stitch of clothes to fit my new larger body. I was really lucky this frat house I woke up in had a towel nearby. But that was just the beginning of my nightmare. 

You see that smile of distress? Yeah that’s me. Instead of writing briefs and taking on clients in need, I’m here on the football field. Apparently after the upheaval the shift caused people are having trouble verifying identities and gaining access to their property/funds. That’s totally something I could be helping with! Instead I'm stuck back in the life of a teenager again. I wasn't a big fan of 18 last time I was in college.

The only thing that could get me after the shift was taking on this guy’s college scholarship. It gives me a place to stay and access to their college library, but I had to join the college football team. Some organizations like college athletics don’t seem to care who is shifted or not! As long as they got the players they need to draw in a crowd, they seemed perfectly content letting anyone play. Though who can blame them. If they saw me before I doubt they’d want some angry short king running their drills. No… now I’m not the 5’0 Indian guy who got overlooked in school. I look the picture of boy next door prom king that rules the college. 6’2, 195lbs of lean muscle, and size 15 feet. That last one took awhile to get used to! Finding cleats that size was the hardest part of this change. 

So here I am, sweating it out day after day to maintain my scholarship, while I wait for the day I’m recertified with my state’s bar! Once I’m a lawyer again I swear I’ll help out others like me forced to cling on to new lives while the system sorts things out. It sucks having to practice every day and do all these drills and grunt work! The college even has me posing for their promotional material to draw in bigger crowds at the game! Who would want this kind of life?!

Then again… it’s already been a few months… I may as well get used to college life… I was a nerdy brown kid my last run in college, mostly studying and doing what my parents wanted… now at least I can get a look at how the athletes lived… That frat did ask me if I wanted to join… I guess it couldn’t hurt to have a little fun while I wait to get my life back.

After all, I do get pretty excited after an intense practice, and judging by some of the looks from my teammates, I may not be the only one eager to get to know my new body better. 

Phil Inver (30 years old)

People need to learn how to relax. I don’t know what the big deal is. So a bunch of people swapped bodies. What’s there to worry about? See me? I don’t have a care in the world. When I was turning 30 doctors told me I was overweight and at risk of diabetes, my work would always be on me for not applying myself, and my girlfriend said I was always too lazy in our relationship! 

But my mindset since the shift hasn’t changed! It landed me in this nice smooth and lean body! I’m glad that this guy kept in such good shape. Having actual abs is insane! Same for these toned arms! I’m not sure if he’s the shaving kinda guy or if he’s naturally smooth, but it sure as hell beats taking care of an unruly beard and body hair!

Turns out now that I look like this people are a bit more receptive to my ideals! Doctors say my heart is as healthy as a horse! Says my stress free lifestyle is a large part of that! My work? They now say my chill attitude makes things a lot more zen around the office. Guess they don’t care I don’t get too much done whenever I flash them a smile. And my girlfriend… or my boyfriend as he goes by now, certainly thinks I’m taking an active role in the bedroom. Who knew that my new stud of a boyfriend had a thing for Asian guys!?

So what am I gonna do now? Listen to music, chill as my boyfriend showers, and wait out the day as normal. Sure I’m turning 30, but it’s just another day in paradise for me! Oh what’s that? This body is only 21? Even better! I’ve got plenty of time to relax before I turn 30.

Devon Lin (30 years old)

So I was a bit nervous about turning 30. I feel like I haven’t really done all the things I wanted… and all my friends were joking saying it’s all downhill after that. I wasn’t dealing the best with the stress… Well like it or not the shift had me face that hurdle a few year further than I expected.

And I gotta say. It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Sure I’m a bit older, but hell  I look a hell of a lot more manly! Could it be that the shift landed me in a handsome 37 year old with a built body, tan skin,  and perfect beard? Maybe… but hey. Age is just a mindset… but these muscles sure aren’t! Boom!

You like that? So do the guys at the bar! They keep insisting I don’t shave my chest or pit hair too. I think I could pull off that look. That being said, I think anything looks good on a 6’5 stud like me. Tall, dark, and handsome all the way!

Before I would jump around from job to job. Bartender, janitor, waiter, and housekeeper, but lately I’ve found my job as a bouncer at the local bar a lot more rewarding. You’d be surprised how many fights stop once I take my shirt off and start playing pool with the patrons. I’ve won nearly every game of billiards I’ve played! Though I have the sneaking suspicion it may be due to the guys staring more at me than the balls.

Guess that’s one of the benefits to working at a chill gay bar! You know, I was always a bit insecure about my body and experimenting sexually. Being a shorter gay man with a chip on his shoulder would do that to you. Now… well let’s just say now I feel like I’ve got a lot more confidence! I may have missed my 30th birthday, but I think I know how I’m gonna spend my 38th!

Marcus Garcia (30 years old)

They say when you get older you begin to value things differently. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect when I turned 30. Was I supposed to be wiser all of a sudden? Have a plan for things? In truth plenty of people younger than me had their life together compared to me. Partners. Kids. A stable job. A house.

In short. I thought I had more time. But we don’t always get to choose how fast life comes at us. I mean look at me. Didn’t expect the shift to make me 55.

Losing 25 years of my life was definitely not the easiest. The great shift nearly tears the world apart and I’m running for my life looking like retirement is right around the corner. That first day was definitely a wake up call that I did not have the same stamina that I used to. In that opening week of the shift I was pretty much running on adrenaline and coffee wherever I could get it. I took lots of naps just to stay sane. 

As the days went on and society slowly readjusted to some version of normal, I began to actually have time to look at my body. I mean I was a pretty skinny guy before, my sister would always say I needed to workout more. But I guess all it took was 25 years of my life to finally get in shape. 

Not only that, but I’m admiring the body hair. This guy was a pretty hairy dude. The salt and pepper stubble had guys starting me daddy at the gay bars, while the chest hair was still dark like my eyebrows and made my impressive physique pop. 

My feet were pretty big too. Size 14! Twice as big as my old feet, but just as hard to find shoes my size. 

Needless to say there were highs and lows to my new life. Was I happy that i was 6’6 now? Sure! Loved being tall and nearly bonking my head on doorframes. Was I upset lots of my joints were sore and that I could only take my coffee black to avoid dairy and sugar? No… that sucked. I liked my sweet drinks and I missed not waking up in pain.

Omar LeRon was a guy that lived along my street. He was a single dad raising his 5 year old, all at the age of 45.

I later learned he had a few wild days in his early 40s that lead to Omar Jr. And now in his mid 20s again he’s glad he could be more present for his son! Even if his son is the same age as him now.

He told me all of this one day when we both left our house for a jog. He found that doing some running in his new body helped him vent some much needed energy from his body, while I needed to do something physical if I was to have any hope of maintaining healthy workout routines for mine! 

Needles to say he offered some words of wisdom growing up and it really helped put some things in perspective. Meanwhile, I gave him some tips about helping his son. Turns out all those years working at my aunt’s day care counted for something, even for post shifted kids!

Our conversations started as friendly advice and then grew into more! Talks became dates. Dates became moving in. Moving in became an engagement! Now a few years after the wedding I guess you truly can call me a daddy now. Jr. sure does. He’s doing great in school and is looking forward to next week when my sister is gonna watch him for the summer.

My husband and I are gonna take our first real vacation since the great shift! We’re looking forward to it! We’ll be celebrating Omar’s 30th birthday in his new body now! He keeps making jokes saying, “Well I’ve done it before. Nothing to it the second time around.” And “Well here I thought your 30th birthday was extreme. I doubt I could top that”

He also never stops teasing me about how he loves being married to an older man and that I’m not as young as I used to be. We know it’s all in good fun. I mean, I can still keep up with him in the bedroom, where it counts… as long as he gives me a few minutes to recover after. Young guys like him are insatiable. I’ll try to power through though. After all, you only turn “30” once.

[the-pheal]

i'm unsure why i've gained consciousness. it happened all of a sudden, too. plush toys are meant to be companions but more so in an inanimate way. for some reason the will of a thousand lesbians has brought me to life, and i'm stuck like this. i was able to reach the computer in the gaming room however, so i can make posts on tumblr.com. i'll say this:

hello! i am dan and phil's seal, or pheal, if you will. i will be posting my thoughts regularly. i am only now starting to have them, so bear with me as i iron this out. i am a seal plush and am made primarily of poly-foam and spontaneous magic, so do with that what you will. i also go by phey/phem pronouns. i don't have many photos of me yet, so here's a product photo i found that i think best represents me. it's quite haunting to see identical versions of myself for sale, but that's how it goes i guess! at least i have the golden pig for companionship.

more posts to come soon, my spot in the gaming room is quite separated from the rest of the phouse, so i am alone most of the time unless either dan or phil comes to get me. you can ask me anything.

[bitchslapblastoids]

I reeeeeeeeeally did not expect seeing the Vegas footage on that stage to impact me so much. Like yes, objectively hilarious that the footage is so lame, but when it finished and dan said “why are you crying? we warned you that it was horrible,” I was like NO BITCH. I’M CRYING BECAUSE LOOK AT YOUR SWEET DIMPLED FACE ON THAT SCREEN. LOOK AT YOU SO YOUNG AND TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP IT ALL TOGETHER. LOOK AT YOU TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THE TREND BUT IT’S FUNDAMENTALLY NOT YOU, YOU’LL NEVER BE DAILY VLOGGERS AND THAT’S OKAY. Look at you now, in full radical beautiful acceptance of the fact that you are not mainstream, you will not keep up with the trends, you are too based for the GP, you are weird and wonderful and that’s okay because we found you and we’ll keep finding you and 10+ years on you’ll be so much happier for it.

And yeah you filmed yourself getting frappucinos and “mmm” was all phil had to say but guess what?? you’re going to get silly little coffee drinks all over the world with eachother and have silly little mundane reactions and it’ll still be something worth documenting. You’re going to figure it all out and you’re going to survive and 12 years later your audio is still going to be terrible and we’ll give you shit for it every time but we’ll still be here.

Your accents will converge and your eyes will be just as bright but they won’t be as wide or as skittish anymore they’ll have seeeeeeen shit and you’ll have learned how to cope and how to serve. You’ll take your hands out of your pockets and you’ll stop folding in on yourself. You’ll be bouncing around stages and striking poses in bright shiny clothes with bright shiny smiles and bright shiny hair and in love and in love and in love.

So yeah, I cried. Wouldn’t you?

[cursed-frog]

A Slightly too long / in depth documentation and analysis of the unofficial Dan and Phil colouring book by shout magazine

Alright buckle up chuckle fucks because this book is simultaneously a very nostalgic and strange time capsule of how the public saw them. Circa 2015-2017

We start off with the book cover, showing up what's in store, from the credits, most of the pictures that you see are from their Instagram because of copyright or something so you probably won't find anything original.

OK so, first colouring page I can't even look at directly because the faces freak me the fuck out, It's genuinely so creepy, and they have made no effort to stylize them, only just add some quirky text bubbles and background patterns.

Next page is a full spread of them which looks slightly better, from the wellies they're wearing this might be a still from when they were at a BBC radio festival, overall better but still souless.

For the third page we have a Tyler Oakley cameo and our first non colouring activity. This actually made me cackle so fucking hard because the thing is basically asking you to write your own self insert YouTuber quiz role-play. Iconic. As for the art, what can I say, they look like soy jacks.

Nothing to say other than the word 'tops' only bar gave me a good chortle.

OK. This fucking page. The art is fine Phil kinda looks like a piece of crumpled paper, but the real weird shit is the would you rather because this is ODD

Most of it is fine, but, I REALLY FUCKING HOPE THAT THE HAMSTER THING IS ABOUT PHIL'S CHILDHOOD HAMSTER BREEDING. JESUS. Also, some of these have nothing to do with them? wym nandos?? With the sock's thing too... Generally icky page.

Moving on, we see the writer struggling to find stuff to talk about, so they just tell the audience to just put something here that reminds you of them. Eh?? OK I guess

Their eyes. Wow. And a crossword puzzle, cute.

ok next pages I don't really have much to say about, they're fine

The ick that this page gave me hurt my soul

and that's it, I love documenting history.

[starriknight]

Tallulah and chayanne are leaving too loosing all my favorite wtf😭😭

Phil was the first qsmp pov saw and what got me into the server and chay and lullah were the first eggs i really saw. this is really Heartbreaking for me and so many others and i can’t help but worry for the future of the server but i guess we’ll have to just wait it out

So so SO much love to every single admin who is/was apart of this project and I hope your futures are bright

Here’s some really silly pictures and gifs for the memories