#and i get it it’s speaking from the perspective of a character and therefore you say some fucked up things sometimes but this is

[acesammy]

I wish spn handled its monsters better. I wish spn knew how to cope with having 2 leads be monsters. I feel like so many of the things about this show that make me want to scream would be fixed if the writers didn’t think they needed their monster characters to be de-powered in order to be ‘good’

[autism-disco]

can’t sleep and i’m entirely blaming tanya tavistock after being unfortunately reminded of her existence

It wasn’t fair for Tanya Tavistock to have been put in this position of having to decide whether or not to ruin all these passengers’ day, and it was other people who had put her here- dumb people, hateful people, people who had no love of life and should just put themselves out of their own misery in private and jump off Waterloo Bridge or something, rather than dragging a bunch of strangers into their cult of suicide, too. Wasn’t life hard enough, without having to worry about being deliberately run over by a lorry while walking the dog, or being deliberately incinerated en route to the airport? If you don’t like it on this planet, get off. Depart your wretched mortal coil. Leave life to the rest of us, who have our own problems, believe it or not, without being saddled with yours.

she’s actually insane

[zepskies]

Lost on You - Part 5

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Supe!Reader

Summary: 1983 is a big year for you. You’re finally chosen to join the ranks of Payback, led by the most (in)famous supe in the world: Soldier Boy. He’ll never admit that he’s trying his damndest to figure you out. You’ll never admit that he’s actually growing on you. But the problem with this game is deciding who’s the predator, and who is prey.

AN: We’re going deeper and darker on this one, with an ending you might not expect...

Word Count: 5.5K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. TW: attempted sexual assault (not successful), violence, character death, drug use, and a twist.

🎵 YouTube Playlist || Spotify Playlist

🎙️ Series Masterlist

Part 5: Eminence Front

Your last conversation with your mother was on a Sunday morning, in hospice.

You sat at her bedside and held her hand. Chris and your father were downstairs in the hospital food court, ordering sandwiches. You hadn’t had much of an appetite for three days.

“I had your father call the whole family so they could watch the music video with you and Soldier Boy,” your mom said. She wore a proud, if weak smile. “He even recorded a few tapes of it. He sent one to your aunt, another to your cousins, and another to our friends Leah and Stan.”

“Pretty sure that’s illegal piracy, Mom,” you said with a laugh.

“I don’t care. You’re my daughter, and you’ve worked incredibly hard to get here,” she said. Her eyes misted over a bit in memory. “We’ve all worked hard.”

You stilled at that. You didn’t know what memories she had filtering through her head, but you were sure your perspective behind the lens was…different.

In your mind’s eye, you saw yourself at twelve years old. Chris had been pestering you all day, as big brothers were wont to do sometimes. With a slap on his arm, you’d screamed at him to leave you alone.

He didn’t speak to you for a whole month. He didn’t go to your piano recital or your choir concert, where you had the best solo. He didn’t talk to you until you touched him again, grabbing his arm, pleading with him.

"Please, whatever I did, I'm sorry. Just talk to me!"

He startled as if he’d woken up from a dream.

Your parents had shared a look, and they’d known then that their gamble had worked.

You remembered being sat down by your mother and told that they had spent their entire life’s savings to make you a hero. So you were going to spend the rest of your young life training to be one.

“We’re investing in your future, but we’re also investing in ours.��

You remembered sleepover invites rejected and summer plans canceled on your behalf. Your mother used her meager retirement fund to sign you up for vocal lessons from a former opera singer. Your high school football coach father drilled you to condition your body like an athlete.

You never had a moment that wasn’t scheduled. You were always exhausted, taking whatever “supplements” your parents gave you to keep you going. (Often it was Adderall, until it started giving you insomnia, among other delightful side effects.)

You were miserable. Then again, you’d be surprised by what you could get used to.

The end goal was always getting into Payback. It was where you’d garner the most fame and make the most money, and therefore, make the most returns on your parents’ investments.

So your father later took out a loan to get you some basic combat training from an ex-Vought employee. Your parents wanted you to be well-rounded and prepared for anything when you got onto the team—and it was always when.

If was not part of the story.

Any small commercials and modelling gigs you landed throughout middle school and high school helped pay for your family’s bills, and later for college, where you double majored in Vocal Performance and Marketing. You would learn how to become your own brand.

Through it all, you always remembered what your mom had said to you on the set of your first commercial. You were crying because the hours were long and you missed your friends, and even your brother.

“Come on, let’s wipe those tears. You don’t want to smudge your makeup,” she’d said. When you couldn’t be consoled, she guided you over to a quieter corner of the set. “Listen, sweetheart. Don’t let them see you upset. You'll get a reputation for being difficult to work with.”

“I don’t care! I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said, sniffling badly as you scrubbed at your eyes. Your mother sighed sharply.

“You’re just starting out. Of course there are going to be growing pains,” she said. “Showbusiness is a cutthroat world, and yes, you’re so young. Maybe too young.”

She wiped your face with gentler hands, then she laid them on your shoulders and made sure you met her eyes.

“But you’re going to be better prepared than most superheroes. You can literally read men. You know what’s in their hearts, and you can control them. As a woman in this world, do you know how damn powerful that is?” she said.

She squeezed your shoulders.

“That’s why you’ll be smarter than any of them, and you’ll only show the world what you want them to see.”

What you want them to see…

“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” you said at last.

Your mom nodded and stroked your hand. Her eyes fell closed in rest. She looked so small and frail in her bed.

“I’m so, so proud of you,” she said. “Always remember that.”

Your lower lip trembled, and your eyes stung. You couldn’t help but feel hollow. What was there to be proud of? You’d failed. All your hard work was meant to give your family a better life, not…this.

“You’re so beautiful and talented,” she continued. “And you’ll get your father out from under these medical bills I put on him, won’t you?”

Deep in your soul, a painful ache twinged.

You ignored it and nodded in agreement.

“I’ll take care of Dad, don’t worry.”

Your mother died the next morning. You wrote a statement about her passing to explain your absence to your fans. It went through Madelyn Stillwell and Arthur before they released the press release and even had it covered in Vought News. Then you spent the next week entrenched in funeral arrangements with your father and brother.

When you eventually returned to Vought Tower after the funeral, it felt like another part of you had chipped off.

Your room was filled with flowers and gifts from your fans, which managed to make you wide-eyed, and even tearfully touched. So this was the power of fame, then?

But there was one vase filled with beautiful scarlet roses. Attatched was a handwritten note:

Welcome home.

You thought you recognized the scrawl. A small smile graced your lips.

You gave into the desire to venture up to the penthouse floor, and knock on Ben’s door. He opened it himself. He was dressed down for once in the afternoon, in a normal sweater rolled up to his elbows and tucked into his slacks. Once he saw you, he was a little surprised.

You held up the note for his view. “Was this you?”

He smiled slightly, but he didn’t answer you. He just welcomed you inside. You followed him into the living room area and sat heavily on the couch. An album was playing on his record player. You recognized Sinatra’s smooth voice singing “My Way.”

“You want a drink?” Ben asked.

“Whiskey, neat,” you replied. He rose a brow, but he fulfilled your request.

While he was busy, you grabbed his forgotten half a blunt from the ashtray on the coffee table, and you lit up. You didn’t often partake in drugs because you didn’t like being out of your lucid mind. You preferred being in control.

Today was different. You needed a distraction. Maybe that was why you were here to begin with.

You accepted the glass he handed to you and took a generous sip, though you coughed at the burn on the way down. And you took a puff, the smoke irritating your throat even more. You practically coughed up half a lung, until he sat down beside you and reached out his hand. You passed the blunt back to him. You two traded off hits until it was more than halfway down to the roach, and he eventually put it out on the ashtray.

“My offer still stands, you know,” he said.

You turned to him. Even in your “enlightened” state, you could feel his intentions. The way he roamed your body with his eyes was unmistakable, but just then, you had a moment of clarity. You couldn’t be bothered to play this game, or hide your true thoughts for that matter. You smiled to yourself, and you stood.

Ben got up with you, trying to gauge your reaction.

“Thank you,” you said, “for finally showing me who you really are.”

His lips slowly pulled into a frown. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“My mom died,” you said. “I know you knew that, but you couldn’t even muster up a basic ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ or whatever the fuck.”

You even laughed through the spark of tears. You wiped at your face. “This place is exactly what I thought it would be.”

The man was silent while you finished the drink in one long gulp. You slammed the glass on his counter, and you left his apartment.

It wasn’t the first time Ben watched you walk away from him, but despite his outward stoicism, it was the first time he felt the sting of it.

You knew it would be difficult at Vought, but you were finding it more and more challenging to keep focused as the months went by.

On one mission, Ben threw a man out of a three-story apartment. He lived, by some miracle, but shattered almost every bone in his body.

On another, Black Noir choke-slammed an escaped convict so hard, her esophagus caved in. And it was a good day if the TNT Twins even zapped the right culprit.

You were increasingly wary of the collateral damage and violence you were being complicit in, just by being there. You had to keep reminding yourself of why you were here. You needed to take care of your father, who was still swimming in your mother’s medical bills and funeral costs. You needed to prove to yourself that you could do this, with or without Ben’s help.

Even so, a day you were called to a full team mission made you more anxious than excited.

It was a drug ring that the police had been trying to dismantle for nearly a decade: Los Reyes. They were the "kings of cocaine," and they were brutal in their retaliations, locked in a turf war with one of the Italian mafias. As Stan Edgar had explained, the police were grateful for any help that Payback could provide.

You guys were sent to a warehouse in Hell’s Kitchen. According to law enforcement intel, it was the base of the Reyes gang's operations.

Infiltrating it was the easy part. Countess blasted right through the front doors, revealing your entire team to the group of men huddled around entire tables and crates filled with product.

When a man aimed a gun at you, Ben threw his shield. It hit the man, who then crashed into a support beam and broke his back in half. Your eyes went wide in horror at seeing his lifeless ones. You gaped up at Ben.

“Was that really necessary?” you asked in alarm.

"Would you rather get shot?” he said coolly.

The others picked off a few men in the room, but the rest of the gang scattered into other rooms within the large building. Ben barked commands for who should go in which direction.

“Sirena, you’re with Swatto. Head east towards the alley and cut off any rats,” he commanded.

You wanted to take issue with being partnered with Swatto. You glanced over at him. After how you compelled him a few months ago, he still had a grudge against you as well. But you two knew better than to argue with Soldier Boy on a mission.

You and your partner ducked out the east side into the alley. Sure enough, you saw blood splatters on the wall from a handprint, and drips of blood leading down the concrete path. After sharing a nod, you and Swatto followed the line of blood.

You turned the corner into a dusty construction site, where a new skyscraper was only partially built. Some walls were up along with the foundation, but it was mostly dirt, bare concrete walls, and piles of brick.

When you turned a corner, you and Swatto stopped short as bullets rained your way.

“Oh, fuck!” Swatto shouted. He pulled out his gun and decided to fly above. You heard more shots and men screaming, and then, it was quiet. You cocked your own gun, though you hoped you didn’t have to use it. The problem with your powers was you needed to be close enough to touch someone to actually compel them, man or woman.

Your last resort was your actual siren song, a power you rarely used. Mainly because it was lethal to any man who heard it. For that reason, it had to be your in case of emergency break glass tactic.

So you crept around the corner to see what Swatto had done. You were surprised to find that he fought well. He managed to kill a few of them, but one large man was still alive. He was on his knees in the dirt with his hands folded behind his head.

“See? Ain’t so fuckin’ tough now, huh?” Swatto taunted. “Get ready to get fucked in the ass in jail, Paco.”

You grimaced in disgust. “All right, that’s enough. Just—”

Before you could realize what was happening, the man raised up from the ground and swept the gun from Swatto’s hands. It flew across the clearing and hit the wall, setting the gun off. A bullet ricocheted and grazed Swatto in the side. 

“Aw, fuck! I’m fucking hit!” he yelled in alarm. His wings expanded from his back, and he raised off the ground in flight. Your eyes widened.

“Where the hell are you going?” you shouted.

“I’m hit! I need a hospital!” His voice grew smaller as he flew away like a fucking coward.

It left you alone with a man twice your size. He seized you up with a smirk.

“Hey, baby,” he said. “You’re the new one, right?”

You raised your gun and fired, but you were too late. He evaded and grabbed the gun from your hands. You held your ground after the first punch, but the second and third made your legs shake. You were more durable than the average human, and you were well trained. Unfortunately, you didn’t have super strength like most of your teammates.

You blocked when you could and gave blows of your own, but this man was large enough that it didn’t slow him for long. He wore a sweatshirt with long sleeves, so you couldn’t easily compel him with a touch.

Okay, this warrants an emergency, you thought in alarm. When you opened your mouth to sing, he shot out a sharp blow to your throat. Maybe he thought you were going to scream for help, but it had its intended effect of choking you into silence.

He grabbed you and proceeded to beat you down, until you felt the sharp breaking of ribs and blood and dirt in your mouth. Every time you tried to slip away or get to your feet and escape, he knocked you back down. He was toying with you, and having fun with it too. You could sense his sick enjoyment.

But then, you felt his intentions shift. Darker, and more carnal. A more intense fear coiled in your stomach, rising up into your throat. A gasp got stuck there as you tried harder to crawl away.

He grabbed your ankle and dragged you back towards him. He took your wrists when you tried to claw at his eyes, or even just touch his face to try and enforce your power over his.

Just a scrap of skin. That’s all you need.

A whimper escaped you as you struggled, but you kneed him hard between the legs. That managed to stop him for a moment as he grunted and cursed. He got a hold of a meaty hand around your neck. Your eyes glowed in desperation.

Suddenly, the man’s weight lifted off you.

You panted for breath and raised yourself up on your elbow. You watched with wide eyes as Ben slammed your attacker’s face into the dirt until he couldn’t breathe. Ben glanced at you, taking in the sight of your bloody face and cut lip, your arm wrapped around your battered ribs.

His frown deepening in displeasure, he bent the man’s arm until it broke in at least two places. His howls of pain echoed into the night. Ben cut it off by twisting the man’s neck, until it released a loud crack.

He threw the body to the ground in disgust. He barely even wiped his gloves before he stood straighter. Then he went back to you.

“You all right?” he asked gruffly.

You stared up at him with tears shining in your eyes. You tried to answer, but it hurt your throat. It was also painful for you to move your body. You tasted blood in your mouth and knew it had dribbled down your chin.

With a rough exhale through his nose, Ben lowered down and slid his hands underneath your body. You cringed and cried out when he moved you, but you were grateful. You were embarrassed. And you were exhausted.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you folded your arms over your battered middle. You couldn't help but lay your head against his chest.

The rest of the team was waiting at the other end of the clearing, except for Swatto. Even Countess was quiet as she watched Ben carry you out of the construction site.

You spent a couple of days in the hospital. There you were surrounded by Vought security fielding off any journalists or tabloids, and you were accompanied by your dad and brother.

Chris especially was angry for you, not to mention worried, but you tried to hide your pain and reassure them that you would be okay. This was just par for the course when taking down the bad guys.

Yeah, that one sounded hollow, even to you.

You were grateful when you got out of the hospital and were sent back to the Tower. Even so, the doctor had you mostly on bedrest until your ribs healed up. You weren’t proud of it, but you wallowed in your embarrassment and a bit of self-pity while you watched a marathon of Cheers and ate from a box of assorted chocolates. You dug around for your favorites, but you kept getting the weird shitty filling ones.

“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came,” sang the TV show theme song. “You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name…” 

“Bullshit,” you muttered aloud. Such was your grouchiness that you had half a mind to change the channel. This godforsaken sitcom was too damn cheery, no matter how much you loved Ted Danson’s fine, rugged ass.

God. Maybe I do have a type.

That was when a knock at the door threatened to disrupt your solitude.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

You’d now recognize that smooth, deep voice anywhere. Sighing, you closed the box of chocolates and hid them under your pillow before you turned off the TV.

“Come in,” you said.

Ben stepped into your apartment and soon found you in your room. It was the first time he’d ever been in here, and he took a subtle look around. He wore his suit and tactical gear.

“Just come from a mission?” you asked.

He nodded and approached your bed. He smiled slightly.

“Eating your feelings in Whitman’s, huh?” he teased, tapping his nose. He could probably smell the chocolate.

You blushed and crossed your arms on reflex, but you grimaced when the motion made your ribs twinge sharply. You made a sound of discomfort and lowered your arms back to your sides. You shifted in the bed as slowly as you could. You’d been in this position for a while.

“How’re you holding up?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m peachy,” you groused. When you looked up at him though, you realized that he hadn't needed to come visit you. He was here of his own free will��and there was something you had yet to say to him. You sighed and met him with sincerity.

“Look…thank you, for saving me,” you said.

Ben inclined his head. He lowered down and sat beside you on the edge of your bed.

“You may not like how I run things here, but this is the way of it,” he said, holding your gaze. “This is the real fucking world. If you’re going to stay here, you need to get with that program, or this place is going to chew you up and spit you out.”

That fell between you two for a moment. The more you turned his words over in your mind, the more you realized that he was right, to a point. If you stayed, this was your life. You couldn’t keep handwringing. You had to be smarter.

“I’m sorry, I’m not looking very camera ready,” you said eventually. You meant it to be joking, but your voice was heavy. “I wouldn’t blame you for averting your eyes.”

You half expected him to make a joke about your black eye and torn lip. But to your surprise, Ben picked up your hand with a kind of gentleness. He raised the back of it up to his lips for a kiss. He gave you a reserved smile.

“Rest up,” he said.

He got up and strode out of your apartment. Not for the first time, he left you feeling unbalanced…and this time warm.

It took a few weeks for you to fully heal. You agreed to do an interview with Jason Carver, the anchor of Vought News. It was a bit intimidating being in yet another studio, and this was live.

The cameras aren’t there. This is just a stage like any other. You’re just…having a conversation, you coached yourself. You sat in an uncomfortable leather chair across from Jason at his desk.

When he got the green light from the producer, he kicked off the show by introducing you as his special guest.

“Can I just say, Sirena, we’re all very glad to see you’re all right,” he said, with a very convincing note of sincerity. Your abilities allowed you to read the truth.

Only show them what you want them to see.

You gave him a grateful smile.  

“Thanks, Jason. I appreciate that. It’s just…hazards of the job description, you know?” you said. “But I’m doing much better, and I’m very thankful that my team was there to support me.”

“Yes, the rest of Payback really stepped up to not only apprehend your attacker, but round up the entire Reyes gang. Is that right?” he said.

You nodded, reading the teleprompter. You were meant to go on a mini monologue about how great your team was, and how grateful you were to be a part of it. It was a script approved by Madelyn, and even Stan Edgar.

You paused, glancing over to where Arthur and Madelyn stood in the dark with the rest of the crew. They were both looking at you encouragingly, but expectant.

You took a steadying breath, and you decided to go a bit off-script.

“Well, actually, it was Soldier Boy who saved me,” you said. Jason’s brows rose at your shift in direction, but he reacted with all due interest.

“Really?” he prodded.

“Yes, he did,” you said. The memories of that night filtered through your mind with harrowing detail, including the way Ben stepped in and brutally handled that man. “He didn’t even hesitate. He just threw himself into the fray…and when it was over, he carried me to the hospital himself.”

That part wasn’t exactly true. He’d carried you over to a Vought-owned SUV, and the director of the camera crew drove you over to the hospital. You decided to gloss over that detail, and many others.

“Wow,” Jason said. He shook his head in wonder. “He truly lives up to the legend, doesn’t he?”

You smiled. “He’s more than that. Believe it or not, Soldier Boy was the first one to take me under his wing. He knew I was new to the city, so he guided me all over New York to see the sights like a tourist. Stuff I’m sure he’s seen millions of times, like Top of the Rock and Times Square. Oh, and he was also very gracious when my nephew came to visit. Got me some major brownie points for ‘Best Aunt in the World.’”

That earned you a congenial smile from your host. Your expression faded with a kind of weight in your heart.

“Ever since I got here, he’s been the one to tell it like it is, with that deep, authoritative voice of his,” you said, laughing a little when you tried to imitate Ben’s voice. It got you a laugh, even from those in the studio. “In a way, he’s the one who’s looked out for me the most. I’m very grateful for Soldier Boy, and of course for the rest of my team.”

When you finished, Jason nodded and clapped along with everyone else in the studio.

“Well, that’s just wonderful. Well said,” he said, and he looked straight into the camera with two fingers poised at his temple. “Soldier Boy, if you’re watching, we all appreciate you. And we salute you.”

Ben watched the clip from his living room with a small, incredulous smile on his face.

He wiped the remnants of white powder from his nose and sneezed. Blinking the bleariness out of his eyes, he refocused on the screen while you talked about him. He knew you had to be playing it up for Jason and the cameras, but you also seemed so sincere.

“He’s more than that.”

After the segment was over, he enjoyed the climax of his high while sitting back on his plush sofa. He tossed up an old baseball from his collection up towards the ceiling, this one signed by Babe Ruth. He caught it when gravity pulled it back down towards his face.

That was how Donna found him when she let herself into his apartment. She was out of her suit and wearing a little red dress, one of his old favorites. She graced him with a sultry smile.

“Busy?” she asked.

“Evidently,” he said.

She pouted, almost like a little girl. She went to him and curled herself under his arm and against his chest, draping a smooth thigh over his.

“I miss you,” she purred.

He smiled wryly and turned off the TV.

“Really now?” he drawled. “Because by my calculations it’s been…what, a few months since we’ve fucked?”

Donna paused, the smile slipping from her face.

“And I’m not counting that hand job a couple weeks back. That shit was pitiful, and a little chafing,” he said.

For the past few months, he’d been wracking his brain to remember what it was that had attracted him to this woman, besides the obvious outer packaging. He knew the difference now.

In the beginning, she idolized him. Worshipped him. Loved him. These days, she only came to him when she wanted something, and he had gotten bored. Bored of her.

As if sensing his shift, Donna moved her leg off his lap and sat up with a frown.

“Well, then let me fix it,” she said, as she slid a hand up his thigh. Suddenly she was all too willing to use those red-painted lips to service him. 

Ben couldn’t help but envision those lips as yours, a sinful red, while your mouth did sinful things. He’d gotten off more than once to the thought of it alone, ever since he shot that goddamn music video with you.

So he grabbed Donna’s wandering hand and looked at her coolly.

“Look, for whatever reason, I know you’re not happy,” he said, waving dismissively with his other hand. “Neither of us are. So let’s just stop wasting time.”

Her eyes widened. “What’re you saying?”

Ben’s brows furrowed. “Am I speaking fucking English? It’s time to call it quits, sweetheart.”

Donna’s jaw worked as she fought to keep herself under control. He had a feeling she’d be angry. She always was a little spitfire.

Her body was coiled like a spring when she withdrew her hand from his and got to her feet. She gave him an icy look.

“This isn’t going to last,” she claimed, with a prideful tilt of her chin. “In a month, a week, you’ll get tired of her. And you’ll remember that I’m the one who looks best by your side.”

Ben huffed in amusement before he laid back again. He continued to toss up his baseball.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he said dismissively. 

Donna let loose an aggravated breath, but she kept most of her reaction inside. She turned on her heel, prideful as ever, and left his apartment.

When her fingers landed on the doorknob, however, she turned back for just a moment. Silence greeted her.

It wasn’t until then that her tears finally bubbled over.

Days later, a knock on your door drew your attention out of pulling on some jeans. You were intending to go on a walk through the city, take some time to get out of the Tower and just be you for a change.

That had better not be Madelyn at the door again. She had chastised you for going off-script at the studio twice already. She made the point that she and Stan had gone over those talking points for weeks, and agreed that framing your rescue as a team effort would cover Swatto as well.

He was still laid up with a broken leg, long after the scrape of the bullet had healed. He was tight-lipped about how he’d broken said leg, but you’d heard from Tommy that he’d shattered it…somehow.

Arthur had smoothed things over about your adlib though. He pointed out that talking positively about Soldier Boy helped the whole team. He was the leader, after all.

So yeah, you hoped this visit wasn’t another passive aggressive dress down from the head of PR. You sighed and went over to get the door. You were thoroughly surprised to see Ben.

And a Ben that was wearing a regular suit, for that matter. He looked like he’d stepped out of a Hugo Boss catalogue, steeped in charcoal gray with a long black coat draped over his arm. Your mouth parted in soft shock, especially when he produced a single rose from behind his back.

You took it with tentative fingers and a blush rising hotly in your cheeks.

“Okay, what—”

“Let me take you out,” he said. “One night. You’ll get to see what it’s like to be with the most famous man in the world.”

What an opening line that was. You sensed he was in full Charm City mode, complete with a suave smile. Yours was more amused, even though you twisted the flower's soft petals lightly on your chin in contemplation.

After a few seconds to think, you gave him a patient look.

“Ben, nothing’s changed for me. I told you, I–”

“Countess and I are done, for real this time,” he said.

Once again, you were taken by surprise—mostly because he was telling the truth. You felt it.

Your brows knitted together in confusion. “When did this happen?”

“Recently,” he shrugged. “But like I said, it hasn’t been working for a while. It was a mutual thing.”

You weren’t so sure about that, but… 

This is what I wanted, you reminded yourself. In fact, it had been half what you’d hoped for when you went off-script. You just couldn’t believe it had worked this well, so soon. As much as you probably shouldn’t, part of you began to feel bad for manipulating him. For lying to him.

But it’ll be good for my career.

“…Okay,” you agreed, glancing down at your plain shirt and jeans. “Just give me some time to change.”

He raised a brow. “How much time?”

You gave him a slightly cheeky smile. “An hour, and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

He sighed, but he agreed.

“Just don’t keep me waiting all fucking day,” he said.

“Come on. What’s a little delayed gratification?” you teased. Then you gave him a more sincere smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Ben nodded, with some added charm in the look he gave you in return.

You slipped back into your apartment and shut the door. You paused there when a thought struck you.

Shit, now what am I going to wear?

AN: Did you see that one coming?

A lot of darker angst and drama in this one, sorry for that. But I think you may like what's coming up...

Next Time:

You slid your hand over his on the table. You felt him stiffen slightly, his body tensing up at your touch. You frowned when you saw the glint of wariness cross his face.

“I won’t compel you again, Ben. I promise,” you said. As long as you don’t give me a reason to.

Your hand traveled up his arm, soothing along his neck, your palm finally resting against his cheek. His green eyes stared into yours.

Soon enough, his wariness bled away into desire.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 6

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Series Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Soldier Boy Tag List:

If you would like to follow along as I post each chapter, please follow my side blog @zepskieswrites with notifications on so you don't miss out. 💚

@spnwoman @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @adoringanakin @rizlowwritessortof @chernayawidow

@midnightmadwoman @deans-spinster-witch @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78

@deansbbyx @sarahgracej @this-is-me19 @kazsrm67 @jacklesbrainworms

@foxyjwls007 @iamsapphine @roseblue373 @lacilou @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@waynes-multiverse @my-stories-vault @syrma-sensei @alwaystiredandconfused @globetrotter28

@mrsjenniferwinchester @charmed-asylum @waywardxwords @k-slla @deanbrainrotwritings

@jackles010378 @deans-daydream @deanwinchestersgirl87 @rachiem4-blog @just-levyy

@leigh70 @kmc1989 @ghostslillady @siampie @jessjad

@beautyvaliant @mimaria420 @kaleldobrev @pieandmonsters @twinkleinadiamondsky

@stoneyggirl2 @sl33pylilbunny @spnfamily-j2 @mostlymarvelgirl @artemys-ackles

[lassify]

Damian Desmond: An Attachment Perspective

**Spoilers for SxF Chapter 106 Below**

I loved this chapter for so many reasons, but the one I really want to highlight today is that Damian may be insecurely attached, but he still has hope. And that he is so brave, in his own way.

Exhibit A: When Damian knocks on Demetrius' door and asks for help, I am 100% positive that Damian wasn't truly expecting a response from Demetrius. He's used to being ignored, especially by his own family.

But he tried anyway.

This is important, because most children of Damian's age who fall under the category of avoidant attachment wouldn't approach a situation like this where there is a possibility that they would be rejected. It speaks volumes to me that Damian has a sense that he would be turned away, but still he tries.

"I was hoping..."

Exhibit B: There is also this moment where we see that Damian wanted to say something, and then he silences himself before he can say anything.

(Don't cry, Lass, omg dont cry 😭😭😭 )

Damian is initially afraid, so he silences himself, but then there is this moment, where he pulls himself together, and tries again.

Endo is so brilliant at drawing out moments of important decisions for characters. You can see Damian making the decision to say something, and gather his courage, but he only falls short once he actually succeeds at getting Donovan's attention.

Under the heavy gaze of the head of the Desmond dynasty, I'm not surprised that 6-year old Damian felt his resolve crumble.

But!

He reverts to another option: find support. Which leads me to...

Exhibit C: This one makes me sob, actually. In response to his wavering confidence, Damian looks to his mother for support. The woman who should be his primary caregiver, and therefore his primary attachment figure.

And she turns away.

(Tears, tears down my face, my boy doesn't deserve this 😭 )

This is the third moment in this chapter alone that Damian does something that no other Desmond would dare: he seeks connection.

Damian tried to connect with his brother, his father, and his mother, all in the same chapter. He is the sole character that links them all.

All through Chapter 106, these are the moments that stood out to me the most, because it truly shows to me that Damian still has hope. Demetrius and Melinda are very clearly ingrained in their roles, and their behaviour is crystallised into what we see as the reader. It's obvious that this isn't the first time that Demetrius has rebuffed Damian's requests; and this isn't the first time that Melinda has ignored Damian's emotional needs.

I hear you wondering: Does Damian still have hope because he's still just a child?

Maybe. It's certainly possible. But I also want to highlight that Damian is insecurely attached; specifically showing an insecure-avoidant attachment style.

Children with this style of attachment typically experience high levels of emotional neglect, where their primary caregiver consistently does not meet their emotional needs. This leads the child to value independence, autonomy, and self-reliance, and to generally see others as untrustworthy.

We see this in Damian. He believes he is better, usually weaponising the Desmond name to place himself above others, but there is also an element where he believes he is better, because he ranks highly in the social hierarchy, and he achieves brilliant grades on his own merit, demonstrating his own self-reliance.

(Side note: Issues stemming from an avoidant attachment style can still coexist with self-esteem issues, but I'm trying not to complicate this post lol).

My point: Damian has experienced enough rejection in his childhood that he shouldn't even be trying with his own family anymore. But he does. He keeps trying. Damian still hopes that he can connect with his family, and I think that this is because this is a part of his actual personality.

On the inside, Damian is complex; he struggles with the weight of his identity, he is trying to find his place in the world, he yearns for attention and validation (specifically from his father), he finds comfort in believing that he is better than other people (even his friends), he struggles to handle big emotions, he prefers to work things through independently, and struggles to be vulnerable and ask for help, and he lies to himself about his big feelings so that he can avoid feeling them.

And my favourite thing about him: he still keeps trying. He gathers his courage. He gets back up. Time and time again he feels afraid, and time and time again he feels the fear and he tries anyway.

Damian is so brave, in his own way.

[nekropsii]

Hello! First of all, love your work. Wonderful takes and analysis on the alpha trolls, and also i’m a big fan of sovstuck - both the text and the awesome cool art. I love that every character gets introduced with their own unique artstyle, each oozing with character :)

I wanted to ask, - and please believe that i’m asking in good faith, - about your proship dni. I’ve been seeing discourse about ‘pro/anti ship’ for ages now, but i cannot for the life of me understand what the hell either side stands for. First i hear it’s about abusive or problematic (pedo/incest) ships in general, then it’s about the difference of portrayal/endorsement of those things, then it’s something else entirely and i can never fucking understand what the hell the issue is and why it is so heated.

By no means i’m asking you to speak for the whole discourse or even for the entire ‘side’ of it - if there’s one thing i got, it’s that no one can agree on their definition of what ‘their side’ stands for. But i would like to know what meaning you put into the terms, and what kind of ‘proship’ you would like to not interact with you; i trust that you know what you believe in and are able to put it to words in a way that makes sense and doesn’t contradict itself or common sense, as i sometimes see :”)

I.. understand that since the topic is so divisive, you may get a ton of bullshit in your ask box and notes, should you choose to answer this, both from people who disagree and those who choose to misinterpret what you say. So feel free to ignore this ask if you don’t want to deal with that. Still, i do hope i can someday gain some clarity on this topic haha.

Best wishes!! thanks for what you do :)

Hello! Thank you so much, the compliments mean a lot! They really keep me going, lol!!

First of all, congratulations on formulating the most normal ask adjacent to this topic. Since it's so god damn touchy, people have a tendency to start throwing rocks no matter what "side" they're on, and no matter if they know what the hell they're talking about or not. Frankly, some of the ruckus surrounding this circus act is embarrassing. On both ends. Second of all, while this isn't something I'm an expert in, I do know more than I'd like, so I'd be happy to give my perspective, even if it's potentially a bit limited/flawed.

Thirdly, I'm putting this under a cut, for anyone who doesn't want to read all that.

Content Warning: Discussions of Shipping Discourse, Sexual Assault, Abuse, Grooming, Incest, and Pedophilia.

Let me start this by defining what the Relevant Terms mean:

Shipping: The act of pairing two or more Characters together. Though the term is derived from "Relationship", and therefore is at its core - technically, theoretically - a Neutral Term, it - conversationally, colloquially - carries extremely heavy Romantic Connotations, with a strong implication that said Romance is found to be appealing - typically in the sense of being either Cute, or Sexy. Defining this is not me trying to condescend you - One of the key questions in this discourse is what it means to "ship" something, and whether or not the term implies the shipper is condoning the material inherent to the ship.

ProShip: Essentially means "All For All Shipping". It's the personal, discourse-based identity label equivalent to the phrase "Ship And Let Ship". There's a common misconception floating around that the "Pro" in "ProShip" stands for "Problematic", rather than simply being the positive antonym to the prefix "Anti". While I find this to be a failure of basic deductive reasoning, I can also understand how the conclusion was reached - Proshippers are most commonly associated with "Problematic Content"/"Problematic Ships", and they do tend to take pride in being "Problematic" themselves. Either way, the word "Problematic" is highly associated with them and often reclaimed by them. They also call themselves "Anti-Antis" (horribly stupid label, by the way), and "ComShip(pers)", with the "Com" being short for "Complex". To my knowledge, ComShip is a sect specifically trying to get away from the baggage that the term "ProShip" holds, and away from the very real predator problem within the ProShip Community. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

AntiShip: Essentially means "Against Certain Forms of Shipping". It actually used to be a term for people who were against specific individual ships, rather than a blanket discourse label - for example, rather than someone identifying as just an "Antishipper", they would typically label themselves as "Anti-VrisMeen", or a "VrisMeen-Anti", or whatever their focus was. An important thing to note is that Antis trend Young, and they trend Traumatized. They are typically Teenagers, and their stances are largely informed by their discomfort watching Adults Sexualize Characters who share their age or younger, and discomfort watching people Sexualize some kind of Trauma they've been through - and considering their general ages, it's not unlikely that that Trauma is either Fresh or Ongoing. This is not always the case, but it's such a large amount of the AntiShip crowd, and it's acknowledged so little, that it's worth mentioning. It's a very important piece of context to me.

The general Belief Systems of both sides, as they currently stand, are as follows:

ProShip: ==> Never Harass Anyone Over Their Ships: This is the bones of their beliefs, and where everything started. Essentially, it's rude and unnecessary to send people Harassment over a Ship they enjoy, because not only could you be doing something better with your time, but also it can be pretty difficult to tell the "How/What/Why" of someone's interest in such material. ==> All Forms of Shipping Should Be Allowed, No Matter The Content: This is the meat of their beliefs, and also where the arguing starts. It's exactly what it says on the tin - Anything Goes, including Rape, Abuse, Incest, and Pedophilia. This is why the label is so touchy - many people are extremely uncomfortable with the idea of Fandom going back to its habit of uncritically normalizing + romanticizing Rape, Abuse, Incest, and Pedophilia. Part of this is due to the fact that this uncritical normalization has led to genuine, tangible harm on people in Fandom Spaces, particularly Minors. ==> Being Problematic Is Based: The skin of their beliefs. Many people wrap up Shipping Discourse in terms that make it sound like engaging in it is Political Praxis, somehow. While your stance on Shipping Discourse can certainly be telling of your Political Beliefs, in the way that your stance on literally anything can be telling of that, calling Shipping Discourse on its own some kind of Radical Political Stance is... Deeply silly, and also keeps leading to people saying "Being into Incest/Pedophilia is Queer Nature", like, unironically. I keep seeing this happen. This part of it tends to be very... Spite-driven. ==> Fiction Is Not Reality: Basically their catchphrase - nothing that happens in fiction is real, and therefore has no tangible effect on reality.

AntiShip: ==> Please Tag Your Content Appropriately And Keep It Out Of The Reach Of Minors: The bones of their beliefs. Self Explanatory, typically followed up with "and if you can't do that, don't post/make it at all". To further illustrate this, I'd like to spark any reader's memory of the times where you couldn't Google search "Fluttershy" without being lambasted with hardcore porn. No additions of "R34", or "NSFW", just "Fluttershy". There was no SFW Filters. You just had to fucking fight for your life. Being a child on the Internet is and was extremely rough. There wasn't any Official Tag Filtering on Tumblr until... I think 2017. It was dark. ==> Abuse/Rape/Incest/Pedophilia Should Not Be Considered "Shipping": The meat of their beliefs. Essentially, these are extremely heavy, delicate topics meant to be treated with respect and tact, or not handled at all. This is not possible in Shipping Content. At least, not as we currently understand it, and will likely remain understanding in that way for years to come. They argue that Fanfiction is not ever going to be on par with Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita. Which is true. They also argue that it's impossible for most Fanfictions to treat these sensitive subjects with any respect, which is... Dubious, but also fair, considering the Sturgeon's Law of it all. ==> Ewwwww...: The skin of their beliefs. Disgust. It's a whole lot of disgust. Again, worth reiterating that the bulk of AntiShippers are quite Young and/or Traumatized, and the content they are reacting to tends to be Extreme, so a gut response of disgust is... Honestly, healthy. No 15 Year Old should be stumbling upon art of a child getting frisky with their dad and going "hell yeah, brother!". Though I wish they'd handle their disgust with more tact, I find that it's just... A fair response, given their age, what their backstory tends to be, and what content they tend to be reacting to is. ==> Fiction Affects Reality: Not necessarily their catchphrase, but definitely their counterpoint to the catchphrase of ProShippers. They do not say Fiction is real, just that it does literally have a tangible effect on reality, and point to cases where this is observable. The impact Jaws had on real life sharks is a favorite, as is The Birth of a Nation, and The Turner Diaries. And, of course, the ways that the works put out by ProShippers has tangibly affected the lives of others, especially children.

It is worth noting, I am neither of these things. I do not identify as a ProShipper, nor do I identify as an AntiShipper. I identify as a Horror Writer. I have "DNI: ProShip" in my bio because their stances make me the most uncomfortable, and I have been victimized personally by members of their crowd and the result of their beliefs.

I was Groomed by an Adult ProShipper when I was 14 Years Old. She used her ideologies as a ProShipper to excuse herself and the (sexual) content she forced me to Roleplay with her, and used it to pressure me into writing more and more extreme content. I did not want to do it even at the time - it made me uncomfortable - but she made the idea of saying "No" to her... Quite scary, and like I was the one in the wrong for being uncomfortable with it. After all, Fiction Isn't Reality, right? I am not the only person I know with this experiences. I have met and spoken to countless - and I mean countless - individuals who have had similar experiences with that crowd. The sheer distrust kids and teens tend to have towards them is learned through that crowd's propensity towards grooming them. Because the celebration and normalization of that content breeds comfortability with "the real deal", and comfortability with harboring predators.

I'm sure some ProShippers have noble intentions, and don't realize what the controversy is about. I'm sure some of them are deeply out of the loop, and still think it only means "Being Anti-Harassment". But I do not care enough to give people the chance, just... For the sake of my own sanity. You understand, I'm sure. I do not think that this rift between worlds is ever going to get closed, or that these sides are going to experience amicability, because the question is nuanced and about morality itself, and one side is full of defensive, traumatized teenagers trying to keep themselves and their friends safe from what they are perceiving as legitimate threats to their safety, and the other side is full of people who just wanna jerk it to weird porn.

I'm not personally comfortable with, like, any self-identified ProShipper being near me, just due to my own experiences. Some might try to identify me as one against my will, due to the fact that I am Anti-Harassment and a Horror Writer unafraid to touch upon every single one of the aforementioned sensitive topics, but... I am simply not one, because I don't identify that way, I don't believe in their beliefs, and they creep me out, lol.

My beliefs are that people should be able to write about whatever they want, as long as they handle things with the appropriate amount of care, and as long as they keep things tagged appropriately. I think that harassing people for shipping Stridercest in fucking 2024 is lame because you could be doing literally anything else with your time, and I think shipping Stridercest in fucking 2024 is lame because you could be doing anything else with your time. Like, come on, man, it's not even interesting. They're not even doing anything interesting with it. Where are the themes? There are no themes. It's just brothers mackin' on each other whitely. Come on.

No topic should be off limits, but you should at least give it the care and respect it deserves, and you should make it interesting. Nothing is interesting on its own. Rape is not interesting on its own. Incest is not interesting on its own. Abuse is not interesting on its own. Pedophilia is not interesting on its own. Taboo subjects are not interesting on their own. They're mundane evils that happen literally every day to regular people. In writing, they need to be paired with themes, and, hopefully, with good writing. People who have been through these things deserve not only to have their trauma represented, but handled with care, and also for it to be interesting to read. They deserve to have options. They deserve to have good literature to chew on, to help them digest and cope with their own trauma. It's difficult to do that when you feel invisible to everything but the camera lens of a Fetish Pornographer, and I know many people who are suffering with the fact that their traumas seem to only ever be represented or referenced in shitty pornography.

Sure, some people cope with their own trauma by sexualizing it. I know that's the case for some ProShippers, and their reason for being within that group. But it's certainly not everyone's method of coping, and it shouldn't be the only option... Which is why I'm advocating for safe, non-fetishized exploration of extreme themes.

I think the reason why the discourse is so unclear is because "ProShip" and "AntiShip" aren't very tangible, definite belief systems, and also the talking points are evolving and maturing over time. A few years ago, the beliefs of "Antis" definitely broadly leaned more heavily towards total rejection of those themes being present in any fiction, but their arguments seem to have matured lately into "the problem is the nature of the depiction, not the presence of depiction itself".

That's all I can think of saying right now that wouldn't just be me walking in circles. And don't worry, I can definitely take the hit. I'm not sure what here could be very arguable other than semantics, or maybe a history lesson or two.

Thank you for the ask! Hope this helps!

[pianostarinwonderland]

Thoughts on the Lost in the Book Halloween Event [Ep 1-3]

hello 🤠🤠 guess which bitch decided to kick this blog alive after checks calendar 6+ months of inactivity.......

unfortunately, twistie wonderworld has created a not-azul character that appeals HEAVILY to my tastes 🧍‍♀️ and you may as well call me dead with how much i've thrown myself off a cliff over mr skully j graves

this is also not counting that AZUL MOTHERFUCKING ASHENGROTTO IS IN THE EVENT AND THEREFORE I GET DOUBLE WHAMMIED

SO ANYWAY. I WOULD HAVE DONE EPISODE BY EPISODE SCREAMING AND CRYING BUT MY ASS HAS BEEN TIRED AND BUSY THE PAST TWO WEEKS. BUT THIS RECENT UPDATE HAS GOTTEN ME BY THE T H R O A T SO IM UP. REVIVED. AND ABOUT TO BLOW PPL'S EARS OFF WITH MY THOUGHTS ON THE LORE, AZUL, AND SKULLY

since all 3 episodes have been long out, i'll just give my thoughts on the theories that sprung, thoughts on moments that struck me, and thoughts on the most interesting lore we get

Episode 1

it is embarrassing to admit how many times i've entered 1-4.

when i heard the voiced line, i was like ?!??!1/1!?!1 because not even rollo and fellow got that much voiced lines

and then when i saw the translation, it was joever for me

YOU CANT JUST GO "hello, hey, you who slumbers in my arms, can you hear my voice? please wake up for my sake" AND EXPECT ME TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT................ IM JUST A GIRL

anyway when he said moshi and wagahai, that was when people started going oh fuck is he even from the present?? IS HE EVEN HUMAN???? and his asking what magical pens are does Not Help

all i can add further to this discussion is that i have not seen enough discussion about the fact that we don't really see his ears in the live2D............

his school lore is rly interesting too because he implies that magical stone distribution isn't equal unlike what the nrc cast have now (which is that they each have 1 stone of the same quality). so if the theories about him being a past nrc student are true, then it opens up a lot more lore about nrc's history

speaking of "skully being a past nrc student" theories, i do actually support them! for one, epel was silenced by jamil when he was about to say that they're students of night raven college. writing direction wise, i find it a very suspicious move to cut epel off just before he mentions where they go to school. but i think the strongest evidence right now is the detail that a jp tweet pointed out, in which skully also called the town in sage island the foothill town. said tweet said that night raven college students would call it the foothill town because it's how they see it from their point of view of being on a cliff. to them it's the town on the bottom of the cliff, or the foot of the hill. but for royal sword academy students let's say, since the town is just right next to them, they wouldn't call it the foothill town because it doesn't make sense in the perspective of where they're located. tho ill say, im not really sure if it Is officially called the foothill town in the twisted universe (it is called the foothill town officially in location names though). if it is officially called the foothill town in-universe, then consider this evidence null

its pretty crazy to me how deliberate the cast choice in this halloween feels because u really feel it when riddle called for a leader's meeting and it was just first years left alone. overblottees altogether is already an INSANE choice that i'll get back to later in this post, but for majority of them to be dorm and vice dorm leaders, it's p interesting. but it ends up making sense tho later on when they start doing halloween prep (and let's be real, if it was the others, barely anything would be ready)

it. left me insane. how skully gave everyone a kiss. like sure, it probably wasnt the best feeling to have your hand kissed without consent. BUT. I REALLY LIKE THAT HE DOES IT TO EVERYONE. INCLUDING US. im pretty weak to being included in general, so skully rly stole my heart here, like the kiss on the hand (WHICH IM ALREADY WEAK TO) isnt already stealing my heart. it adds sm to his character too 😭 when u account for how he's been made fun of, him talking to everyone and including even yuu is a way of him coping with the loneliness he's experienced 😭😭 he tries to be gentlemanly to everyone he meets

hinterlands!! just a side note, but when i was watching nightmare before christmas earlier, i realized how similar the hinterlands doors are to the mirrors in twst. cause u can still arrive at the hinterlands from the different towns, the doors just let u travel faster to them. the beginning of the movie also specified that nightmare before christmas was set in a time long long ago, when it was the age of the holidays. though the halloween townsfolk aren't familiar about twisted wonderland, it's a really cool thought to consider that maybe they were in the same world, it's just that they wouldnt have called the entire world as twisted wonderland, they just know of their own towns. or at the very least, in-universe, the writing of hinterlands' doors was inspired by OR PROBABLY inspired mirror travel

SKULLY LOSING A BIT OF HIS POLITE SPEECH WHEN HE MET JACK SKELLINGTON, IT'S SO CUTE 😭😭😭 but i also wanna bring it up now that having this event feature both the og character and the character twisted from them is BIG. the moment jack skellington was teased in the trailers, i knew twst was starting to bring out the big guns. i always figured ever since way back then that twst was going to let us meet the great seven, but we just don't know How. but it's Big that we even get to see the interaction between the movie character and the twisted character because it may be a possible foreshadow to what may happen once we start to tackle the historical revisionism of the great seven's' stories and how our characters will react to it. halloween 2 and glorious masquerade were also used to foreshadow book 7, so lost in the book nbc event foreshadowing something like book 8 or hell even book 9 would make sense.

HAHAHA AZUL BEING ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED WHEN JACK SKELLINGTON SCARED HIM AND EPEL EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT YEAH GET REKT ASHENGROTTO HAHAHAHAHA KEEP DOING WHAT UR DOING PUMPKIN KING 🥰🥰🥰 SEEING AZUL SCARED SHITLESS IS SO FUNNY

Episode 2

ok episode 2. god fucking damn it this episode RUINED ME PERSONALLY

but before we get to that, i wanna talk about skully's vision of halloween because i found it very interesting

when he was talking about how halloween should be silent, dark, and a time of reflecting on repentance and atonement where you can have an aid for it (like a pumpkin or a candle), i genuinely felt my catholic upbringing hit me way harder than with rollo. i SWEAR i've had my mom tell me once or twice while i was a kid that halloween is supposed to be a holy day because of the word hallow, and how it was called hallows eve😭😭 and how it's not good to dress up in costumes of witches, monsters, and devils because it's devil worship or smth. and it's also why we never had halloween decor growing up. im pretty sure she no longer remembers that cause we're now way more lax about those things, it's just that damn, i'm just saying y'all, i would 100% believe a person in 2024 celebrates halloween similar to skully's version

maybe it's just me being stupid pilled, but i really find the situation very ironic. i know that the interjection of the night raven college boys to voice out their disagreements about skully's way of celebrating halloween is to mirror the interjections of the townspeople when they were trying to understand and even voicing out disappointments about jack's presentation of christmas. but i find the scenario very very interesting because irl, christian puritans and conservatives would scoff at the pagan traditions, call them barbaric while we're at it, and do the whole thing of inserting christianity into it. it doesn't help that pope gregory III called november 1 as a day to honor all saints and then oct 31 was called all hallows eve, and then the christians celebrated some of the samhain traditions as well. but you see here in the story how it's the night raven college students, who promote a festive and more modern halloween, calling skully barbaric for his ideas of halloween, especially for the elimination of ghosts.

some ppl might find skully's ideas boring or too traditional. for me, it's kinda just a matter of differing cultures. like, i've grown up having a mix of trick-or-treating halloweens and halloweens where i just stay indoors. and i grew up in a catholic sphere where halloween in skully's vision is much preferred. so maybe it's just me but i can't really hate his vision. at the same time, i've also been on the side of completely shutting down people who bring up arguments rooted in strict catholic tradition, simply because i looked down on them. but i got lectured (not directly) that we shouldn't immediately shut down those arguments because hey, there are points that are made, esp if worded right. so reading this conflict in episode 2 tickled my brain. in the end, though, my overall thoughts are: i think that while skully looking down on people for disagreeing with him is something for him to improve, nrc students aren't totally in the clear either. they're all fair for having their disagreements, but in twisted fashion, they're all stubborn as hell

this also made me think about the ghosts and how the vast majority of twst might perceive them. the population of twst is still vastly non-magical, and while the dead are generally celebrated, i can't help but wonder if nrc's harsh reactions to skully's bias against ghosts is due to the fact they are in a campus where ghosts are able to manifest all year round and therefore they get to interact with them. but for a good majority of the population that cannot see ghosts nor are they mages, how do they really feel about the ghosts? i find it to be food for thought. and on that topic, people also avoid ramshackle because it's haunted. though,,, from the way halloween is characterized in twst, it sounds like everyone really celebrates the ghosts coming to the living, esp because the magic is stronger everywhere. but are all cultures receptive to that..?

anyway, poor skully had to meet the jack who's been seeking out something different for halloween (esp bc movie jack was dissatisfied initially with his pumpkin king schtick) so he's had to have his ideas rejected

jamil's so kind as to comfort skully. very interesting part though from azul 👁👄👁 he's like "well if his ideas get rejected then he should just make a new proposal, don't give up" and it's just a nice lil look into his projection. like dang azul :') it's obvious that he gets up very quickly after every setback, but knowing that in his mind, he Has to get up quickly, and thus expects everyone to do the same,,, ,he never gives himself time to breathe and process, i kinda cry for him. jamil thankfully being like "yea he can do that but still, it sucks to be rejected" like yes jamilllll say it!!! on another note, this feels like a really good idea to write for an azujami fanfic :)

THE MUSIC GROUP SEGMENTS. WHY ARE AZUL AND SKULLY INTERACTING REGARDING MUSIC. TWICE.

like the first one, we get to know the music tastes of azul, jamil, riddle, and skully. azul, being the gay ass bitch he is, exposes jamil's music taste, being fast tempo music one can dance to

as a classical music girlie, i personally lost my mind when skully asked if it was waltz or tango music 🤡🤡🤡 LIKE. WAAAAHHHHH WALTZ AND TANGO MUSIC ARE ABSOLUTE BANGERS PLS I NEED PPL TO BE FAMILIAR WITH THEM AND OUGH OUGH THE THOUGHT OF DANCING A WALTZ WITH SKULLY AND—

azul u bitch telling us that u listen to a lot of genres and play jazz music for mostro lounge fucfkfufkcff LIKE THE JAZZ IS A GIVEN. BUT AZUL WDYM BY A LOT OF GENRES. DO U STILL LISTEN TO JAZZ AZUL? OR HAVE U DABBLED INTO TAYLOR SWIFT AND OLIVIA RODRIGO? ARE U SECRETLY A CHAPPELL ROAN AND CHARLI XCX GIRLIE? HAVE U LOOKED INTO INDIE ROCK BANDS? DO U ALSO LIKE CLASSICAL TOO PLEASE SAY YES

riddle, in typical fashion likes classical music!! AND SKULLY ALSO LIKES CLASSICAL MUSIC YYYYYYYYYYESSSSS FUCKKINIGFIGNFDNKGNKFD WINNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AND JACK ASKED HIM WHAT SKULLY LIKES AND SKULLY SAID HE LIKES OPERA AND IM SO HAPPY THAT SKULLY GOT TO FANGIRL ABT JACK ALSO LIKING OPERA AND EVEN SINGING FOR THEM (and jack's singing is amazing like no cap)

but also suddenly i regret not listening to more opera in my life. im sorry puccini for ignoring u all this time. i may or may not have binged some opera music the night of the update.

BUT THE SECOND MUSIC DISCUSSION. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME TWST ISTG. WHAT ARE U DOING MAKING SKULLY GO "ooh ive been thinking of learning how to play the piano" AND AZUL GOING "i know a bit of the piano!" U CANT JUST TEASE US ONCE AGAIN ABOUT AZUL'S PIANO EXPERIENCE WHILE ALSO MAKING SKULLY WANT TO PLAY PIANO.. .. ..... ...

that aside, idia also mentions doing programming music, so like MIDI and shit. wooo sound prod idia lezgooooooo

i do love also that skully asks us if we play music!! AND AZUL BEING EXCITED IF WE DO SAY THAT YES WE CAN DO MUSIC, OUGH AZUL U PREDICTABLE MF BUT ALSO THE WAY U MOTIVATE ME

anyway, just before the second music group segment, we get a really nice conversation between skully and sebek, in which skully shares that he's afraid if everything he's known is so far from reality. and sebek's like ok u respect tradition but u also have ur ideals, u should be more firm in ur ideals. and skully's poetically thanking sebek for showing him the light, and ty sebek for contributing to the future shitshow that skully will start in episode 4

Episode 3

ah yes. the episode where i lost all my marbles

first part, we get lock, shock, and barrel popping in. jack said that they were going to help out, but they ended up causing a lot of chaos

absolutely LOVE how they rattled almost all of the students, like i wheezes at lock calling epel a shortie and epel losing it. then vil's like, epel that is a CHILD insulting u, dont stoop to their level. and then lock was like ewwwww ur eyelashes look like centipedes, and vil was like SAY WHAT BITCH and jamil's reminding him of what vil just said.

AND THEN THE FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE EVENT: LOCK GIVING JAMIL A BUG ON HIS HAND, AND JAMIL PROCEEDING TO FAINT

in true gay fashion, azul tells epel and the audience about jamil's fear of bugs

SECOND FUNNIEST MOMENT: LOCK OFFERING THE BUG TO JADE BUT JADE'S LIKE nah give it to vil and epel BUT THEN HE'S CALLED BORING AND THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS HIM???? JADE LEECH, THE MAN THAT DOESN'T USUALLY GET FAZED BY PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS OF HIM, GETTING PISSED OFF THAT HE'S CALLED BORING TO THE POINT THAT HE GOES "give me the bug. i will even make exciting reactions. just give me the bug." LIKE HOLY SHIT FKDHFAKJBFSKANFKNSAF THIS MAN HAS A COMPLEX ISTG

barrel sticking candy onto riddle's clothes and then eating it, u see riddle and trey being hella weirded out by that

idia's like, i wanna go away from this i do Not like parties, but malleus completely mishears idia and is like omg party? you want an invitation to a party too? omg me too bestie and idia's like oh my god nO

then u see shock staring at malleus and sebek's yelling at her but she's quiet.... until she hops on top of malleus

sebek's like WAKASAMA ILL TAKE THEM OUT FOR U but malleus is like don't sebek.......... I WILL TAKE THEM OUT MYSELF lightning strikes

congrats to azul, trey, leona, and idia for having the privilege to just stand there and panic at the chaos going on

jack is hella sad about the state of things

and SKULLY. SKULLY IS PISSED AT HOW MUCH OF A MESS THINGS HAVE GOTTEN. AND THEN HE'S LIKE IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS

ANDDDDDDD THE MOMENT THAT MADE ME DIE IN CHAT: "Light the lanterns. Scary Night (Oct. 31)!"

guys i think skully likes halloween, im not sure tho

anyway, skully's unique magic can change people into pumpkins, and lock, shock, and barrel turn into pumpkins. once skully transforms them back, they're like do it again !! but skully's like no my UM is still developing so i cant use it more than once. but still, this impresses everyone.

SOME LORE ABOUT MAGIC: jamil says that skully's um is pretty advanced because it's appearance changing magic, which is already really hard with the aid of a transformation potion. and leona points out that while it might not work on those with high mana, it can at least catch someone off guard. i think it is also worth bringing up that transformation potions generally are banned, so this is a really interesting um that can still be perfected and developed !!

poor sebek, he gets jealous and tries to assert dominance but even malleus compliments sebek, and that pisses him off more SKDFJNSDKSDSKF

anyway sebek demands a third round of splitting into different teams so he can try to be with malleus, even when everyone was already happy enough with their teams

well sebek won finally BUT poor skully, he's now separated from jack AND HE'S CRYINGGGGG

leona is so funny, he's like oh thank GOD im not with the octavinelle bitches, and azul's like aw dont be lonely there :))) istg i love these two bitches and their bitchiness rubbing off each other, it's so yummy (and with the latest octa manga update it's made even YUMMIER)

can i just point out that for three consecutive rounds, azul's been in the music team. LIKE TWST CMON IF THIS ISN'T TEASING US ABOUT AZUL PLAYING MUSIC IN A LATER EVENT, IDK WHAT IS. PLS TWST. PLEASEEEEEEEE

too bad for leona, he reunites with his bitches later on 🥰 and by GOD the banter and the lore drops here are really yummy

well first off, we gotta get to the convo between leona and skully. skully compliments leona and stuff but leona's like ok bro u gotta focus on urself first. don't look away from ur dilemma rn that what u thought ur idol was is not how he actually is. basically, skully gotta acknowledge the disillusionment that he's experiencing

OH DEPENDING ON UR CHOICE, IF U AGREE WITH SKULLY THAT YES JACK'S PUTTING A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THE HALLOWEEN PREP, HE'S GONNA BE LIKE "yes yes!! u see it too!!" AND THEN HE KISSES UR HAND like maaaaaaan THIRD KISS IN THE EVENT UWEEEHHHHHHHHH i feel so loved 😩😩😩

anyway you, skully, leona, jack, jade, and azul meet. we get more details about skully's way of celebrating halloween, he shares that he spends halloween alone, but jack's like nono! halloween is something we should spend with everyone! and this is probably skully's last straw because he ends up shocked and asks to leave, saying he'll help out lock, shock, and barrel

oh girl bye it's about to start

now music group's gotta compose AND WELL. FINALLY I GET CONFIRMATION ON THE COMPOSITION SKILLS OF AZUL (and jade). BOTH OF THEM DONT KNOW HOW TO COMPOSE....

leona's like lmao dont merfolk love singing or some shit, aND THIS ACTUALLY GETS AZUL PRETTY UPSET. Azul's like, hey not all merfolk like music or have an inclination to it! How prejudiced of u leona, and meanwhile jade's like well he's Not wrong idk any mer who dislikes music. dang did azul actually have a thing about not being skilled at music before???? or does he actually care more about his people than he lets on? both maybe?? that's so sweet tho

anyway they manage to shift the conversation to making fun of leona for not being good at singing HFSKJDHFSDKFHS octavinelle bitches i love u to the ends of the earth

top moments from this event definitely includes jade going "aw azul he's probably tone deaf" and azul dramatically gasping and going "jade how can u be so blunt?!?!?!?"

leona ends up singing the coconut song from his homeland (the one zazu sings to scar when he's caged) to show that yea he Can sing. AND AZUL AND JADE FOLLOWNSKNGSDNFNLKSDNFADNFNLNFSDF FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY IS THIS EVENT NOT VOICED,,,.,. AZUL, JADE, AND LEONA SINGING THE COCONUT SONG TOGETHERR.

LORE DROP: the song is also rly popular in the coral sea, as in they learn it when they're really young. and leona's like well it makes sense, the sunset savannah faces the sea, so trade between us and the coral sea is very likely to happen. WORLDBUILDING MY LOVE

HAHAHHAAHHA AZUL IS LIKE "wow leona ur so good at singing, u should sing for the mostro lounge" AND LEONA'S LIKE "yeah and my payment should be u guys fighting against us in magift" AND THE WAY AZUL AND JADE WENT OK NEVERMIND HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND AZUL'S PANICKED FACE IS SO FUNNY GET REKT AZUL LMAOOOOOOO

anyway we go to the trey, jamil, riddle, and idia group AND THIS IS A FUNNY ASS GROUP TOO

POOR IDIA GETS SCOLDED BY TREY BC THEY ASKED IDIA WHAT HE EATS AND IDIA MENTIONS HE BASICALLY EATS JUNK FOOD AND TREY'S LIKE UR NOT TAKING CARE OF UR JAW!!! UR JAW'S GONNA BE WEAK!!!!! AND UR TEETH!!!! OH MY GODDDDD

riddle mentions he eats the daily special in the cafeteria bc he can calculate the amount of nutrients that he gets. dang that's some habit to get from his mom, i really hope he's getting his fill this time :')) at least get some more protein riddle

trey was so close to being screwed bc he says he rly loves the hamburger steaks in the cafeteria and they're so good he could eat them every day. but then riddle gets mad because there is a queen of hearts rule banning hamburger steaks on tuesdays AND TREY HAS TO CLARIFY NO I DIDNT ACTUALLY EAT IT

jamil meanwhile mentions he rarely eats at the cafeteria cause he makes food for kalim anyway so might as well make his meals. honestly real and good for him.

AWWW SALLY WANTS TO MAKE FOOD FOR JACK AND JAMIL GIVES HER ADVICE well that backfired on him cause now she wants him to taste test her soup BYEEEE

AND JAMIL DOES THE SAME THING MOVIE SALLY DID WITH FINKLESTEIN he uses the spoon with holes, pretends to like it (which shocked EVERYONE AT FIRST) and then he tells the others fuck no yall i didn't taste it, it looks rancid af (and honestly smart move jamil bc there is a nonzero chance that the soup contains deadly nightshade in case sally wanted to poison dr finklestein, and if not deadly nightshade, frog's breath would be terrible to deal with)

anyway moving on to the vil, malleus, sebek, and epel group!! ok this group is so cute cause the two first years are together, and their senpais are with them!!

WE GET A LOT OF LORE HERE OMG so they used to dye cloth with plants in lilia's house because they got,,, three colored sauce,,, on the curtains. malleus offered to buy new curtains but lilia said no. me too vil and epel, idk what three colored sauce is. ik it's a reference to the three fairies BUT HOW DO U GET THREE COLORED SAUCE LILIA PLS I HOPE IT'S THREE SAUCES IN DIFFERENT COLORS NOT ONE SAUCE IN THREE COLORS

finklestein mentions oh we have witches here too u know! and vil's like omg they must be beautiful like me

if u watched nightmare before christmas before this scene, you KNOW this is the start of the punchline. unfortunately, i did not have the pleasure of watching nbc before this so i did not get to enjoy the joke BUT I DO NOW

so the witches come in and OF COURSE VIL'S FUCKING HORRIFIED THAT THEY'RE UGLY AS SHIT. AND THE CHERRY ON TOP IS SEBEK BEING LIKE "ohhh this is a punchline" HAHAHHADKABSJDBJS

BLESS THIS UPDATE BECAUSE THE LORE DROP HAS BEEN SO GOOD THIS WEEK we get broom lore in which not every broom can be used for flight. the ones in school are standardized to be good for flight. i feel like i've heard the first part in another place, probably a book or so, but the second one is new

anyway after all that prep that everyone does, skully's asking lock, shock, and barrel 😨😨😨 THEY ALSO MENTION BOSS. SO OOGIE BOOGIE EP4???? PLS?????? ESP KNOWING THAT SKULLY AND OOGIE HAVE A LOT OF SIMILARITIES TO EACH OTHER SO LIKE MMM MM MMMM M

zero is soooo cute :')) he liked leona, and he found the smell of tea on jamil rly nice too

ZERO SNIFFED THE SUS ON TREY AND JADE AHAGAGAHAAHSFDHGHFHGC RIP TO THEMMM tho lowkey treyjade won too bc hey :) trey said he never got to own a dog cause his home (a bakery) couldnt have one. jade finds dogs adorable. treyjade could 100% have a dog in their house

riddle and idia were criticizing how they approached zero LMAOOOOO AND IDIA EVEN SAID HE WATCHED VIDEOS OF APPROACHING DOGS. WELL CLEARLY THOSE VIDS WORKED W HOW ZERO RAN AWAY FROM U IDIA.

SALLY ACTUALLY GOT TO GIVE JACK THE LUNCH SHE MADE HIM 😭😭😭 im so happy for her honestly, esp cause in the movie, she snuck it to him :")) but here, she gives it. well, she still sneaks it BUT SHE DOESNT HAVE TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE A PULLEY SYSTEM TO HAND IT TO HIM!! bless jamil for helping her too

AZUL PLS "id love to help sally out" whats w u and ppl in love, huh, azul 🤨

oh hello 3-19 whats gonna hap-

🧍‍♀️

chat he's lost it

CHAT HE'S KINDA HOT WHEN HE LOSES IT.

SHFCJGCJGVGHVHJ SKULLY CONFIRMING JACK'S VIEWS ON HALLOWEEN AND THEN HE. PUTS JACK TO SLEEP. WITH A DRINK. BRO PUT DEADLY NIGHTSHADE IN THAT.

AND SKULLY REPEATING HIS MONOLOGUE IN THE PROLOGUE. AND HIM GOING "ahh jack-sama pls dont worry, ill protect the true halloween, even from u jack" girl everyone smelled the yandere. have u seen jp twitter/bluesky? the yandere is BAD

and it's hot on him. good god

AND THEN OH GOD WE COME IN CAUSE GRIM WANTED TO EAT JACK'S FOOD BUT WE FOUND SKULLY

AND SKULLY TURNS GRIM INTO A PUMPKIN THINKING THAT GRIM CAUGHT HIM. NO SKULLY U JUST OUTED URSELF, GRIM'S STUPID AS FUCK

oh god i got dizzy w this last part YUU HAD THE CHOICE TO SAY "why are you doing this" OR "we won't tell anyone". AND IF U CHOOSE THE SECOND OPTION, SKULLYYYYY GOES OH REALLY?? we're kindred spirits indeed we were fated to meet

girl i fell off a cliff. i drowned even. passed away.

GIRL I ATE ROCKS. WTF. I SWEAR. THE WAY SKULLY TALKS TO US FR LIKE WHAT IM BEING SWEPT OFF MY FEET HERE EVEN IF HE'S GOT SOME SCREWS LOOSE

ANDDDDDD HE TAKES US AWAY.

HAH HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA................

YALL HAVE NNNNNNNNNNO IDEA HOW INSANE I WENT ON MY IG 💀💀💀 literally i had a status that said "OMG YALL MY POOKIE KIDNAPPED ME 🥰🥰🥰" and now my irls are scared. they think i have stockholm's now.

honestly i just love the skullyuu dynamic too, like they're just two ppl who are lonely in their own ways. while skully would talk to everyone as much as possible, he rly talks to yuu.

delusionally, i like to think yuu saying i won't tell anyone is them not being scared but understanding skully too. like, they cant blame him for losing his shit

alot of ppl are also thinking omg skully overblot might happen. and i wanna yell NOOOOOOOOOO to that. on one hand, everyone said the same thing abt rollo and well, he didnt. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, SKULLY LACKS SLEEP, AND THE NARRATIVE REMINDS US TWICE ABOUT THAT. WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN ATE FOOD. AND HIS MAGIC IS EMPHASIZED TO BE ADVANCED. AND HE DOESNT HAVE A MAGICAL PEN AND WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN HAS A CRYSTAL. THE MAGIC'S GOING TO HIS BODY. AND THE WORST PART IS THAT ALL 7 OVERBLOTTERS ARE IN THE EVENT. THAT CANT BE A COINCIDENCE. FUCK'S SAKE, ONE OF THEM WORKS IN STYX. THE ONLY ARGUMENT AGAINST SKULLY NOT OVERBLOTTING IS THAT HE MIGHT NOT HAVE ENOUGH MANA FOR IT CAUSE HE HAS EPEL'S MAGIC LEVEL. BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL cries

but also having all 7 overblotters may mean that twst wants to hint to us that this event could foreshadow a future arc where we meet the great seven and explore the disillusionment they may face. i'll dedicate a longer post to that though. but im excited for it

i do hope that in ep4 and 5, ppl realize that there is merit to skully's ideas of halloween. in the movie, jack skellington realizes that maybe doing christmas just doesn't suit him and sally was right. and at the end, santa gives halloween town a taste of snow. i'd like to see a merge of the ideas of nrc boys and skully's. at the same time, i hope skully realizes too that halloween can be celebrated with everyone, and in fact, it's more fun that way :'))) i want all of them to learn from each other. i want skully to be happy.

anyway i eat this event. it genuinely made me go back to playing twst as actively as i used to (never mind the fact that i put irl responsibilities to the backburner until urgent-), and im so excited for the last 2 updates 😋😋😋😋 i may also post a few more things about this event before the update on monday because god, my brainworms are terrible

[melon-kiss]

I know some of you don't speak Polish and we can't afford to translate 40-min-long chaotic interviews for you and I'm a bit bored (meaning: my brain wants a break from writing but I'm stubborn and I want to finish it TODAY), so I thought I'd give you a bit of a trivia based on interviews with the actors and the crew of 1670:

throughout all the interviews, no one really asked if we're getting season 2. I mean, someone did and the response was: "Well, we know nothing" but nobody really asked if they had any IDEA about what would happen in the next season

I'm not sure about the actors but the creative and directive levels went to a series of lectures on how people lived in Poland in the XVII century

they received a substantial funding, especially considering the directors were complete "no-names"

filming took 3 months, December through February 2022 if I recall

they all lived in an open-air museum in Kolbuszowa; in fact, almost all of the building were already there, they only had to build the house, the barn and the forge

there was no delay in filming, which is apparently rare in the industry but that was because they had a very tight schedule and couldn't afford staying longer in the museum

the last episode was filmed on one day and that was the last day of filming and because of technical issues with cameras working in the inn (the short shot of Maciej serving the pig to the Adamczewskis' table had to be re-done 20 times!), they had to completely rearrange the wedding party scenes, turning them into long shots; the entire labor/dancing scenes were supposed to be shot from 13 (!) different perspectives and be arranged in a "music video fashion"

one of the first episodes (if not THE first episode) to be filmed was episode 7

the script was written with Bartłomiej Topa (Jan Paweł) in mind, however, the actor wasn't really convinced about participating in this project and took his sweet, sweet time to decide on it; same goes to Dobromir Dymecki (Bogdan). Topa says it wasn't because he didn't find it good - it was because he was afraid that the project would be underfunded and therefore fail as projects like that usually don't get the attention they need in Poland

Bartłomiej Topa said he portrayed Jan Paweł as evil and conniving for the first two weeks of being on the set and the first scene they recorded was the one with the "Adamczycha" sign falling down; only after that time, after one scene in particular (don't remember which one, sorry), he finally saw the true nature of his character and changed his approach to the portrayal

surprisingly, Michał Sikorski (father Jakub), unlike Topa, thought of his character as a silly, innocent man and he changed his mind only after seeing the Aniela-Maciej dance scene where he says Love is peaceful, love is kind, love is... unacceptable - he understood he got to play a villain

the actors were FORBIDDEN to improvise; their lines had to be memorised prior to filming

they shot the barrel-cleaning scene (the thing they do before blowing the magnate's son's head up) for 2h because Bartłomiej Topa and Andrzej Kłak (well, he plays Andrzej) couldn't stop laughing; Topa mentions he doesn't even remember how they managed to get it done

all the mud was brought there ON PURPOSE

Kirył Pietruczuk (Maciej) is a debutante when it comes to film, however, he is the only actor in the crew with an acting degree; not only that - he graduated with honors

when asked about this, Michał Sikorski said: "Well, but it doesn't matter, does it? Because, even thought I haven't graduated, I got to play a nobleman and he... well..." (obv that was A JOKE; he is like the sweetest person ever!)

he also said he wrote a "Maciej's journal" during filming and spent a lot of time creating a backstory for his character; he said it was helping with the a-chronical shooting; he read one of the entries out loud in his interview

he jokingly said his favourite episode is the last one because he got to kiss Martyna (Aniela) there

as mentioned before, casting Maciej's role took the longest. They interviewed about 300 candidates and none of them fit. Kirył recalls it was right after he signed a deal with an agency for the first time in his life and he immediately received a call after his first cinema audition and it was 1670, of course! However, he reports that the process was extremely long - he had to go through several stages, each one of them revealing more and more of the script and he wasn't informed it would take that long

The creators said they looked for someone who'd understand the character and his role in the film - as he is the eyes and ears for us, people from XXI century. "He's basically like a viewer of the events, one of us", Kordian Kądziela (director, episodes 5-8) says. It was important he had a good chemistry with Martyna (she was the first and only "Aniela" he had to do short scenes with and the chemistry was immediate) and was able to break the fourth wall properly - he had to have the talent to comment current events with just one look and I personally think he does it perfectly. The actor was also supposed to be "easily likeable by girls"

The first scene they shot together - meaning as Aniela and Maciej - was the dance scene and Kirył says it's his favourite scene in the entire show

Kirył said the scene with the magnate's son was initially very aggressive on his part, however, after speaking to the directors, he decided to tone it down as it was, indeed, not fit for the character to be this angry

they all said, once they got down to it, they had a feeling they were a part of something special

Feel free to add your trivia or correct me if I'm wrong.

[holdmymetaphor]

okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about

theres clearly a few dynamics here

-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him

-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid

-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.

-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)

-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)

-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority

- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?

-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)

its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)

and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)

lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.

that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.

this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.

in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general

its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.

[essycogany]

Rare But Not So Rare Sonic Moments

Flaws

This may get controversial.

I welcome anyone else’s view point on this topic. If you don’t agree I’m okay with that. Just because I have a different perspective doesn’t make what I think right or wrong. You don’t have to change your mind. Whatever your opinion is, I respect it. Besides, it’s fun to have different views on something we both love. It gives us a way to see different sides of the coin.

Disclaimer: I’m a person who didn’t grow up with this franchise and only recently got into in early 2022. I have no biases towards any version of this character. Making my opinions about his characterizations mixed.

By the way, I’ll only use Sonic games as examples (for the most part) because this analysis would be too long if I talked about other medias.

In short. Most of his flaws do stir into different medias as well. To be honest, Sonic’s other variants aren’t as different as some may think, but that’s my hot take.

Times The Blue Blur Messed Up

Riders: Sonic lunched Amy along with Eggman into the air with his wind abilities. While knowing Amy’s safety would be at risk. Then left her. Which was the reason she was so angry and aggressive afterwards. He didn’t ever apologize either.

06: Exchanged a chaos emerald for Elise even after Tails warned Sonic not to.

Unleashed: Was distracted by taunting Eggman.

Sonic: “Well, this is new. Showing remorse Eggman? If you played nice, I wouldn’t have to break all your toys.”

Then became the Werehog. All because he wanted to boost his ego.

Secret Rings: Shahra used Sonic to collect the world rings for Erazar Djinn. Even though it should’ve been expected because she said, “They use to work together.” Ended up not being true.

Black Night: Was tricked into helping Merlina who wanted to create a world that would last forever.

Lost World: Tails once again tried to warn Mr.Impatient about the conch in Eggman’s hand, but kicked it anyways. Then warned Sonic about another trap, he didn’t listen, ended up getting the fox captured instead.

Frontiers: Accidentally helped free The End despite Knuckles and Sage’s suspensions. If his friends, Eggman, and Sage didn’t help him…..Well, it’s in the villain's name.

Side Note: In Secret Rings, Black night, and Frontiers Sonic was rude at points.

Sonic Sassiness

Sonic Sassiness Part 2

Sonic’s Overall Flaws/Mistakes

Some may be from his general characterizations throughout his history.

Sonic rushes into things without a second thought. (Impulsiveness) Sonic can be too reckless, brash, or not take situations seriously.

He’s impatient. (Which was his core trait since his idle animation in Sonic 1)

He doesn’t listen to his friends warnings. Sonic can be too cocky at the wrong moments. He causes or contributes to world ending consequences. The blue blur can also be too trusting and naive.

Sonic doesn’t worry about his own physical or mental state and internalizes his emotions. He isn’t able to express himself very well. Therefore doesn’t put the right words together when speaking sometimes.

Sonic can be stubborn and a bit of a jerk.

Sage: “You are short tempered and short sided.”

And that’s about it. If I missed anything, feel free to let me know.

My Thoughts

A few of these can be seen as Sonic’s strength and weaknesses. Like his willingness to harm himself if it means to save his friends.

The reason Sonic never learns from his mistakes in the games is because he gets away with them. Which is not a good or bad thing per say. (Besides Sonic Riders. There’s no excuse for that.)

The stories never really given him an arc. But I don’t think Sonic’s a perfect or flawless character. If the examples I’ve shown are evidence of anything.

I’d say he’s static, but not consistently. Most static characters I’ve seen rarely stays static anyways.

I also don’t believe Sonic himself thinks he’s perfect. Sonic probably thinks he doesn’t have to change because he’s so sure he should be able to manage things without issue. Everything does eventually go his way. Why should he change?

I do understand Sonic influences people, but why can’t there be a balance? It’s been done plenty of times with other characters. In books, movies, and tv shows. Animated and live-action.

Movie!Sonic in Sonic 2 inspired both Knuckles and Tails. Helping them better themselves with advice and encouragement. While also going through his own arc of growing up and being responsible.

Tails:“You’ve inspired me. To leave my village. To find you and help you on your mission.”

Despite him learning how to slow down and plan things out, Prime!Sonic also inspires the different variants of his friends. Thorn, Dread, and Nine. Helping them grow into becoming better people.

Even in Unleashed Sonic was at his most mature, but it was only after his cocky attitude got him into trouble. So, yes. Inspirational characters can have flaws.

I’ll just say this

Everyone has their own views on how Sonic should be characterized, drawn, played, voiced, animated, and showcase.

It’s fine if you don’t like a curtain interpretation of a character, but to say the character (Especially if they weren’t very consistent in the first place) isn’t acting like themselves now, it’s really hard to argue what self there is to come back to. Because even in the games there are so many different selves for these characters in their own canon universe. From Classic to Adventure, Unleashed, Colors, and Frontiers. (If that makes any sense)

It’s hard to find one place to be in because Sonic’s been in too many places at once. He shouldn’t be held down to one characterization if he’s already been all over the place from the beginning of his existence.

AKA Sonic’s first two shows ever. TAOSTH and SATAM. In both shows Sonic had flaws as well, but never learned from them. Which means he’s been like this from the start. Like everything else about this franchise, his personality is an ongoing experiment that’ll probably never be solved. And I kind of love that. Even if it can be stressful and has it’s own up’s and down’s

All of these unique stories from the games, comics, tv shows, and movies people grew up with are what made this franchise so popular. This is the main reason I became a Sonic fan. Because I learned so much about characterization from this franchise and how to love the different variations of its characters. Finding an appreciation for each of them.

Conclusion

Everyone’s opinions are valid at the end of the day. At least we all have a version of this character we can love and appreciate. Whether you agree or not I’m grateful you’ve made it all the way to the end. You’re a trooper!

Stay Creative! 💜

[3hks]

Key Components in Creating THAT Character

If you read a lot or enjoy television and interact with the fandoms, you quickly realize that there are certain characters that have fans COMPLETELY wrapped around their finger! And furthermore, they usually end up pretty iconic even though they aren't the main character! (People like Gojo Satoru, Levi Ackerman, Killua Zoldyck--I watch too much anime but hopefully you get the point) So how do they become so popular? Do YOU want to create a character along those lines?

Perfect! Because this guide will have literally everything you need! (Keep in mind that some things will get very specific and there's no need to follow absolutely everything!)

1. Confidence

It doesn't matter if the confidence is a facade or if your character is genuinely confident--readers LOVE a confident character! This is because confidence can establish reliability, easily capturing the audience.

2. Status

Following confidence, it's important that your character has status. I'm not necessarily talking about royalty and whatnot, but if you look at my first three examples (assuming that you know who they are), they all carry a title and are known.

Gojo Satoru: The Strongest Sorcerer

Levi Ackerman: Humanity's Strongest Soldier

Killua Zoldyck: He's a Zoldyck

Again, this creates a sense of reliability and that awareness that your character is someone important.

3. Reputation

Alright, so this character now has confidence and status, so therefore, they also need some kind of a reputation! Consider some of the following questions: Does the public have an opinion on them? If so, what is the general viewpoint? What about the people close your character? Are their opinions accurate to your character's actual personality?

The truth is their reputation doesn't have to reliably reflect them. What the readers see in your character versus the others in the story can be vastly different. So, with these types of characters, it's important to establish a perspective of them that's separate from the audience's!

Now, what does this even do? A reputation builds onto status because it shows that, again, this character is someone who genuinely matters not just to the story itself, but to the actual verse. It also offers a lot of indirect characterization because it demonstrates how they are seen!

I would consider the first three to be the surface level traits, which is not a bad thing at all! However, with these next few points, we're going to dig deeper!

4. Empathy/Sympathy

Yes, yes, I'm well aware that empathy and sympathy are completely separate concepts, but either one will work for what I'm about to talk about next!

Vulnerabilities and flaws are critical to any realistic and quality character.

However, it's important to keep in mind that for THIS type of character, specifically, is meant to be established as someone with status and thus, won't easily show their weaknesses.

When boiled down, treat your readers like all another character.

Don't shove your character's fragilities into your audience's face because that can ruin everything you built up in steps one through three. Instead, leave their weaknesses (not necessarily flaws, they can be revealed however you like) slightly vaguer than you might normally. Let it be up for interpretation!

A simple way to achieve this is to dive into their past and let their old selves speak for themselves!

5. Situation

Great, so now you have the flaws and rough imperfections of your character down! What do you do with them?

Put your character in a situation with something on the line that exposes their vulnerabilities and forces them to confront their issues. Allow your readers to see their flaws physically in action because that's one of the best ways to fully elaborate on their character.

Additionally, if you're looking to flesh them out or generate more emotion, this will achieve that! With these characters, they NEED their time in your story.

6. Development

Just like all characters, the fundamentals still apply, and this character is no exception to development! If you're not too sure about what changes to make, start with step 5 and continue from there! There is no need to make a drastic difference, a simple realization or small alteration will do!

CONCLUSION

Alright, let's wrap this up! Steps 1-3 are the basis to creating your character's personality! It gives the impression that they are important and have a reputation. Steps 4-6 are mainly for development and to create a more dimensional character; but the main takeaway is that any weaknesses should not be downright stated but instead hinted at!

Happy September and happy writing~

3hks <3

[artist-issues]

Some Things I Believe About Stories

Stories should not be PRIMARILY created to entertain. They should be created to teach, or encourage, or inspire, USING entertaining qualities. The Romans used entertainment to distract the populace from corruption. J. R. R. Tolkien, on the other hand, described "escapism" as "a prisoner of war escaping from enemy camp to go back home." You're not running from reality to fantasy when a story does it's job. You're running from the dark, twisted side of the world to something that reminds you of the good, the true, the beautiful, the correct. You've been imprisoned by bad ideas and confusion and dark perspectives, and the story shows you how to escape and get back to true and beautiful reality. It's got a point, it's not just for diversion.

Stories should be made to serve others and leave the world better than they found it. Storytellers should not only tell a story to exorcize their personal demons or point to how clever and artistic they are. That can be a nice bonus. But the point should be to serve the audience. Think about it. When it's made, it's timeless; it will be read or watched or listened to by the next generation, or the next. What are the storytellers letting fall into the hands of the people who come after they're not around to explain or gain a profit?

The storyteller should be passionate about the story while they make it. This could look like a sense of duty, or fun, or just excitement. But those outward emotions usually signal an inward understanding of how important the story is, and therefore, a level of compassion and care for the eventual audience.

You can like a story or dislike a story. You can interpret a story or misinterpret a story. Those things are subjective. But whether or not a story is good is objective: it can be measured. Does the story say what it is trying to say in the clearest, most compelling way possible? If yes, it's a good story. If no, it might be great entertainment. It might be funny. It might be cool. It might be quotable or franchise-able or profitable or even memorable. But it's not a good story if it does not say something in the clearest, most compelling way possible.

A story's main point, or theme, is the most important thing about it. The characters, the set design, the pacing, the soundtrack, the language, the use of color or lighting or blocking etc.; all of those pieces work best when they are unified in the goal of communicating that main point or theme.

Death of the author = death of the story. It's point is to say something. If you claim the speaker's intent is meaningless, so are the words spoken. If you claim it can mean anything, your words are meaningless too. We all might as well tell no stories and blabber gibberish instead. It’s one thing to say you understand what the author intended, and you like to think of it in/wish it were another way. But it’s quite another to say that what the author intended is unknowable or doesn’t matter. You’re either calling the author a bad storyteller or, again, recommending we all speak gibberish.

Both form (the quality of the story and it's elements) and content (the main point or lessons) matter. Without one you have a lecture, not a story. Without the other you have entertainment, but no valuable, timeless, beautiful truth to make it a “story.”

[waitmyturtles]

Have you read any of the Thai academic papers regarding MAME's work? sometimes I feel like fandom at large has a very strong western bias towards her that borders on xenophobia in review of anything attached to her unless it's more low stakes gmmtv style stuff like wedding plan was which suits western sensibilities more.

Hi, Non! This is interesting framing you've put forth here. I want to note that I'm close with some folks, particularly @bengiyo and @lurkingshan, whose critical tastes I trust, and I can assure myself that they would not call Wedding Plan low stakes. During my Old GMMTV Challenge project, I promised myself that I would not watch another MAME show after Love By Chance and TharnType, and I've taken Ben's and Shan's urging to chuck that aside to add Wedding Plan to my OGMMTVC syllabus, which I'll get to after my summer travels. Let me take a second to sort this all out in a more sensible and chronological answer to touch upon what I know about MAME now that I'm much more read into Thai BLs and the history of the genre.

Regarding academia and MAME, I have not read Thai source material on her start and her legacy in Thai Y novel writing and Thai BL/Series Y television productions. What I am in the midst of reading at the moment is Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand (Baudinette hailing from Australia), and he does get in depth with MAME's beginnings, which for me was the first primary source material that I have encountered about her background. To summarize quickly, MAME (along with individuals like INDRYTIMES/Kwang Latika, who wrote the original novel for Love Sick, and others) was part of the first crop of young middle-to-upper-class female college students who became enamored with Japanese BL/yaoi manga, as well as (in many cases) K-pop idols, and began writing fan fiction about and/or in the styles of these interests, which led to the development of the unique Thai Y novel genre.

It does seem to me, at least on Tumblr, that a good chunk of Western fandom here has written off MAME. I'm Asian-American, and I come to my hesitation about MAME from a particularly Asian perspective, so I really can't speak for the non-Asian fans about what they're rejecting. Let me at least explain what I'm rejecting, and how I've engaged in dialogue about it with critical friends here.

LBC did not have as much of what I will attempt to describe as I saw in TharnType, something that I might now call collectivist homophobia or collectivist bias. But LBC had a smattering of it, something that I smelled early on in that series. In both series, MAME seemed to approach her characters, to me, with a distanced hand of judgement that, to me, recalled the kinds of biases that my Asian parents tried to implant in me in my childhood, that I rejected throughout my young years. Queer material is so very often not good to its queer characters, and it seemed to me through LBC and TT that MAME intended to gild that lily to channel a populist homophobia that she seemed to know would resonate with a broader fanbase -- which it did, in part, because TharnType in particular was the first Thai BL with heat in every episode.

(Two things to note about my review of TharnType that I penned last year. First item to note is that Boys Love Media in Thailand had not been published yet, and I had not read primary source material about MAME. I was enraged at the time about fan theories that MAME had been a victim of sexual assault, and had therefore written her queer characters with the biased vitriol that I perceived coming from her because of that theorized past. I still think these theories are equivocating and problematic. Second item is that I heavily recommend reading the reblogs of my TT review, tags and posts and all, to see literally the spectrum of commentary of the MAME fandom/anti-fandom across Tumblr. Writing that post and reading those reblogs was a hell of a great experience.)

Just to summarize this, then -- I choose to not engage with MAME because I see under- and overhanded bias in the work that I've watched, with my Asian eyes; and I just might assume that many Westerners see the same thing. But I don't really know, because I haven't talked to that many Western fans about the depth of this.

So what does this mean for this moment in time? I understand MAME's Love Sea is airing, which I'm not watching, and I missed the boat on Love In the Air -- so I think I'm missing some critical and/or catty chatter about those two shows from the fandom because I don't have context.

But I do know there are folks out there that either write MAME off wholly, likely for similar reasons that I've listed above, and/or hate-watch her shows and post about it. To each their own.

I would not have considered Wedding Plan if Ben and Shan weren't screaming about it. I'm happy to have fewer shows on my plate, I got no time. However.

Nothing in this world exists in a static vacuum. If MAME is experimenting with tone, approach, style, and even taste regarding her shows, then more power to her. @bengiyo's post linked above about Wedding Plan is important for me to see, because I see that he's noting that parts of the fandom may have actually demonstrated real homophobic dialogue about MAME's fictional characters, which, to me, I'm like, what? Really? You got time for that? But also:

If MAME, back in 2019 with TharnType, picked up that her Thai and global fanbases were more inclined to check in with collectivist homophobia, as I'm calling it.... and now, in 2023-2024, has noted that her fanbases might be far more inclined to support real queer equality and overtones in shows, and is including those themes in her work -- can we not welcome that change in? That's why I'll give Wedding Plan a shot.

Let's be sassy and ironic for a second. Could she be making this change for da money and the fame? Sure. But -- capitalism unfortunately rules this world. Car commercials in the States have interracial queer couples parenting children nowadays. If equality talks to money, then content makers will take note. I think I'd be a hypocrite to say that MAME shouldn't make her dollar, all while she's experimenting with more equitable stances.

Last note. There's been quite the dialogue simmering these past few weeks about GMMTV's We Are, and whether or not GMMTV is stepping away from a past where many (not all, but many) of its shows explored queerness in depth. He's Coming To Me, Bad Buddy, Dark Blue Kiss (yes... the first three shows I listed were Aof Noppharnach shows, fuck), Theory of Love, 3 Will Be Free. The major GMMTV BL/GL shows that have aired recently that have made huge waves on social media -- Only Friends, 23.5, Last Twilight, and now My Love Mix-Up -- were/are helmed by branded (capitalism, hello!) pairs, and three out of four of them were flops, with MLMU already treading that territory in EPISODE TWO, for heaven's sake. (Y'all, read the reblogs on this post. Wow.) I finished a rewatch of The Eclipse weeks ago, and I'm dragging my feet on my review, because of what I think that show represents for what branded pairs end up doing to otherwise original content.

I want to posit a theory, that I'll work more on when my OGMMTVC is over, that we have living, real-time proof that the branded pair system is failing good content -- because these shows have to produce engagement snippets of these pairs, instead of more broadly penetrating artistic content. GMMTV's one-off shows with non-branded pairs, like Be My Favorite and Wandee Goodday, are FAR MORE INTERESTING content-wise, varied and inquisitive in their artistic takes on queerness. Even Cherry Magic, featuring the long-awaited return of TayNew, felt fresh, because we literally hadn't seen TayNew in FIVE YEARS. Tay actually KISSED ANOTHER DUDE, shocker!, in 3 Will Be Free. I want to go back to those days, where the pairs could act well outside of their range and their business partners, instead of being limited to the same tone and style that their pairings and their fandoms demand.

I say ALL OF THIS, because isn't it interesting that GMMTV seems to be reverting on a scale of inquisitiveness about queerness -- and MAME seems to be going in the opposite direction?

I would not have expected it. But I have found, lately, some of GMMTV's "takes" on "queerness," as in Only Friends, to be outright offensive. This corporation has become far more gunshy to let their branded pairs just be fictionally gay. If MAME wants to take on a healthier stance of equity, and to play around with more realistic depictions of what it means to be queer in Thailand, then go for it, girl. I will admittedly be watching Wedding Plan with my Asian side-eye and my smell tests for bias, but I look forward to being proven wrong about my suspicions. I want to be a responsible fan here, open to MAME's changes.

This ended up being a lot, but thank you for provoking these thoughts, Non.

[dotthings]

Let me make this even clearer. Because Jensen and Misha both deserve better.

Given that we know they talk a lot about Destiel among themselves. They have told us, repeatedly. They've shared each other's perspectives with each other. They have an understanding.

Early misunderstandings and conflicts in pov aside (and do people want to keep circle jerking as if it's still 2014? Okay then. Have at it, but time moved on and you didn't): Jensen doesn't speak over Misha. Misha doesn't speak over Jensen.

Some things Misha has said about Dean or Destiel has resulted in Jensen stans attacking him. They always have some excuse--this past weekend it was because Misha acknowledged the idea of Dean and Cas having sex.

In the past, another example, backlash came at Misha for saying Cas saw love and acceptance in Dean's eyes.

(Which...sure does seem like the pearl-clutching about Misha's CR8 comments being too ribald is fake virtue signaling doesn't it, since even a statement from Misha wide open to platonic or romantic reading, that is 100% true about Dean, and how loving he is, how loving we know Dean is, how much we know Dean is going to accept and love Cas either way, got hatred aimed at Misha as if he had said something heinous. Tells me all I need to know about certain stans).

While Jensen's "Cas is an angel therefore his love is cosmic and unknowable impossible for humans to grasp let's not define it" and "open to interpretation" middleground to appease both sides and treading carefully for reasons, on a topic that's napalm in fandom (it shouldn't be, but that's the reality), might be construed as speaking over Misha.

But here's the thing!!! It's not!! From either of them!!

It seems very obvious by now that they decided Misha would be the loud one, with Jensen holding his cape, even if he doesn't join in , and Jensen walking a diplomatic middle line, also with Misha's understanding and support in turn.

When Misha goes off boldly about Destiel? People need to kick out that hate fantasy about Jensen being disrespected and Jensen must be wanting to punch Misha and Jensen must be so mad at Misha how dare Misha out of their heads, or get to the point where they can comprehend the difference between their own feelings vs Jensen's and quit projecting.

They didn't shut each other out. They talked about Destiel. They listened to each other. Highly likely, in fact, that they helped each develop or refine their talking points.

Neither of them has been shooting off their mouth about the other's character without having spoken to each other.

I don't have any hope for fans to stop the endless fighting and concern trolling and attacking either Jensen or Misha over it, needlessly, perpetually, but when it comes to Jensen and Misha...that's a hopeful space.

Misha's bluntness vs Jensen's carefully chosen middleground words complement each other are not in fact oppositional takes--they complement each other, there's room for both. They both know it's a mutually loving relationship.

Neither is trampling on the other's pov, and any views that don't perfectly align, they've already discussed and they respect each other.

These accusations at either of them are not true, they are not fair, and they both deserve better.

And now I'm staring right at a recent thing where Misha full on absolved Jensen of an accusation that various lanes kept throwing at him, and still weaponize, including Jensen stans who claim to be defending Jensen, because they want it to be true.

The response was manufactured drama where people called Misha a liar and doubling down.

They'd rather Jensen take the fall and they'd rather call Misha a liar than believe a soulless corporation that has been caught more than once exercising queer censorship could have committed queer censorship in a TV industry where it's common knowledge that queer censorship by broadcast TV networks happen???????

Wow gee can you feel the love in this Chili's. Great going. Excellent defense strategy. You're really such a big help. With fans like these, Jensen and Misha don't need antis.

A lot of it is agenda driven, and some anxiety driven, every lane's worried about other lanes react, because spn fandom is always a pain in the neck that way. Some people hate Destiel so much they need Jensen to be their antidestiel warrior they'll throw Jensen under a bus and stan for the corporation, or they're so anxious about how Destiel gets treated they blame Jensen and forever hold against him his past foot in mouth about the ship (which was a long time ago. Please stop punishing him endlessly when he's moved on and his perspectives are respectful, yet you're still stuck back there) rather than comprehending the actual systemic factors.

Jensen and Misha are both doing what they can to make it better.

They are trying to fix it!!!

People should show them more respect!!!!

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

since the general fanbase seems to find calebs translations questionable, is there any translators you'd recommend instead? (if you answered this before i couldnt find it, so sorry if its an FAQ)

The general fanbase does not speak Japanese, so first I would recommend you not take their opinion into account.

I am not trying to be combative, I’m serious. About 85% of the hatred for the official translator stems from things that have absolutely nothing to do with the quality of his work. 10% of the hatred claims to be about the quality of his work, but comes from people who do not actually speak Japanese and therefore have no place judging it. Only 5% of the negativity I've seen has any real merit as translation criticism.

For the record, I’m not going to address the source of that 85%, because the quality of a person’s character is objectively irrelevant to assessing whether their translations are accurate or effective. What you or I think about the official translator is of no importance. Shitty people can be good at their job. That’s just a fact.

The official translations are overall accurate, effective, and of high quality. Viz obviously has in-house standards for tone and aesthetic in translation; they have an existing “shonen” branding adapted for American audiences. It is about marketing. This is evident in all of their published works. Some people find the tone and aesthetic off-putting—this is totally understandable, I’m not particularly a fan myself.

Generally, the worst you tend to get with the official translations is somewhat weird or exaggerated characterizations and the occasional missed thematic callback. The worst you get with the fan translations that are popular is them being factually wrong at times—as in, their translator simply did not know the meaning of the words they tried to translate. It's not that mistakes never happen in the official, but the Viz translator is fluent in Japanese and translates as his full-time occupation. He works with Japanese fluidly and constantly. He knows what he’s doing. When fan translators falter, it is usually because they are clearly not fluent, and this is something they do out of passion or for fun in their free time.

I typically avoid criticizing the fan translations for this reason, despite their issues. I myself translate out of love and enjoyment; I don't want to harsh on anyone's good time or discourage fan activity. I bring this up only because many people put the fan translations on a pedestal while promoting scorn and distrust of the officials.

But you asked me for recommendations.

So, I will tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes: if I loved a series that was written in Spanish, I would read the official English translation. If someone told me some important things are glossed over in the official release, I would surely look into those—but only take the perspectives of Spanish speakers into account, because how are English speakers supposed to know what’s what? I would compare those perspectives (because there is no way everyone will have the same opinion) and see if there are any other translations, while looking to understand what the rationale is for the differences therein.

And then I would come to my own conclusions about the characters and the story, because in the end our relationship to media is personal. What the story means to me and what I think the creator was trying to do is fundamentally up to me to decide.

I grew up in the era of bootleg anime and manga with nigh-incomprehensible translations and official releases with butchered, thoughtless dubbing, released seven years after the series already ended. By comparison, what we have today—cheap or even free releases available simultaneously or within two weeks of the Japanese release—is fucking magnificent. It is the result of many people working incredibly hard all the time. I don't think we should take that for granted.

No translation will ever be perfect. Human beings are not perfect, we all have biases and our own interpretations and reactions to media. Our relationships to stories are personal. This includes translators.

I disagree with the official translator on a few things, particularly in regards to characterization. But I don’t think that ruins the official release, and I don’t think anyone should shun or scorn it on the whole. We should engage curiously and thoughtfully about why it is the way it is, and what else can be gleaned from the original text.

Having said all that, you actually inspired me to do a little series examining the wins and losses of the official release, so please look forward to that.

[sallowtheories]

What does Sebastian’s name mean, and what does it say about his character?

In this post I will take a look at Sebastian Sallow’s name, and see what information we can obtain from it. We will first take a look at his first name, and see what the name Sebastian can tell us about his character. We will then look at his surname, and see where that can lead us, followed by a name pattern and character traits that I’ve spotted within Sebastian and other Harry Potter characters.

I decided to look up some of the names from Hogwarts Legacy, because from a storytelling perspective, there’s usually always a reason for characters to be named a certain way. And in the Harry Potter universe, people are certainly named for a reason. It has been proven again and again with Harry Potter characters, 

Being that Sebastian Sallow is my favorite Hogwarts Legacy character, I firmly believe that his character has so much more to offer in the overall Hogwarts Legacy story, along with the possible upcoming second game. And with his character being added til Quidditch, he is most definitely made to be remembered and make an impact.

The name Sebastian is of Greek origin from the word sebastos meaning ”venerable” or ”revered”. And me, having English as my second language, I decided to check up on what these words meant.

I must admit, that when I first read “respected”, I had a small chuckle. Not because I don’t believe Sebastain is respected, because trust me, he is - it was because of how fitting it was. Sebastian’s character has just been added to another Harry Potter game (Quidditch Champions) not too long ago, and it is pretty much impossible to Google Hogwarts Legacy, without his face and name popping up everywhere. But it also speaks to how he is viewed, within the world of Hogwarts Legacy.

When I first played Hogwarts Legacy, I didn’t choose to go to Hogsmeade with Sebastian. I am a true Gryffindor, and therefore decided to go with Natty, as that just made more sense to me. But during my second gameplay as a Ravenclaw, I decided to go with Sebastian, and that was when I noticed how the teachers spoke of him - with much revere. Many of the teachers express in some sort of way that they are impressed with Sebastain and his abilities. Now, this could also be because many of the teachers at Hogwarts most likely knew his parents, and have noticed qualities in him that they used to have as well. But they all also express some sort of sadness, as it seems like many have noticed a shift within Sebastian after Anne got cursed. They use expressions such as; “I fear his mind is elsewhere”. Now, I have a whole idea of what the teachers may be sensing within Sebastian, but that’s a theory for another day. What is important to focus on is that the teachers consider Sebastian a bright and gifted student, and whatever he is going through, is not “normal” for him.

It is not only the teachers that consider Sebastian gifted or have respect for him. Lucan even tells the MC, that if Sebastian told them about Cross Wands, they must really be good. Now, as many of you may have noticed, people talk about you and Sebastain when you wander around Hogwarts, and so in Feldcroft. These comments either show admiration for Sebastian’s abilities, or maybe even a tiny bit of jealousy. Now, these traits make me think of a few other specific characters, but I’m getting ahead of myself. For now, let us look at Sebastian’s last name.

First we need to figure out what the word “sallow” means, and I found some quick answers.

When I first read “grayish greenish yellow color”, I must admit, I didn’t find it very flattering. All though, I have to say it’s a fitting name for what we see of the Sallows in the game. It perfectly describes the color of Anne’s skin after she has been cursed, and does give this vibe of sickness and disease. During my research, I also found that people pointed to how the name was fitting when it comes to Sebastian’s goal to find a cure for his sister, which slowly turns into a slow and sickening descent into dark magic.

However, as many may already have noticed, there’s another meaning to the name Sallow. Sallow is a form of three - a type of willow tree. I’ve already seen many people theorise that Sebastian’s wand wood may be willow, which would make a lot of sense. According to Pottermore, this is what Ollivander had to say about willow wands:

It is fitting that Sebastian, who tries to find a cure for his sister, would have a wand of wood with healing powers. However, the fact that this is a wand wood that often matches up with an owner with some sort of insecurity, is overly fascinating to me. Sebastian comes across as very charming and very confident, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he was hiding some sort of (unwarranted) insecurity. His home life was far from the best with his strained relationship with his uncle, and how knows how Sebastian might have viewed himself. However, the part of Ollivander’s description that fascinated me the most, is this: “(...) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential (...). It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow”. This speaks volumes to Sebastian’s character, along with my firm belief that he will continue to play an interesting part in the Hogwarts Legacy universe, and maybe even the Harry Potter universe itself. With a wand of willow (known to be rare), I decided to take a look at other known characters with willow wood wands, and I was honestly quite surprised. Known owners of willow wands are characters such as Lily J. Potter, Ron Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy - all very important characters for the Harry Potter universe or the stories in which they’re mentioned.

Returning to Sebastian Sallow’s name, I noticed a name pattern seen in a few other Harry Potter characters. Sebastian is one of only four own characters in the Harry Potter universe, who has the initials S.S. The other four being Stan Shunpike, Severus Snape and of course Salazar Slytherin. It is unknown what house Stan Shunpike was sorted into, but it wouldn’t be too strange if he too was a Slytherin. With that being said, all four have more than just their house in common. All four have had run-ins or dived into Dark Magic. Stan Shunpike was sent to Azkaban, after he claimed he had inside information on the Death Eaters, and would at one point join/help the Death Eaters, though it was suspected to be under the Imperius Curse. We all know the story of Severus Snape, and there’s no need to explain Salazar Slytherin. All four of these characters have an important impact on the story that they are a part of, and are continuously returning, and I have a feeling that Sebastian Sallow will do so as well.

With all these things combined, just from looking at Sebastian Sallow’s, I fully firmly believe that we will see more of him in the upcoming second edition of Hogwarts Legacy, in which he once again will play an important part to the story. And as many of you may already have noticed, I believe that Sebastian is more than just a main B character in a Harry Potter game. I believe that he has an important role to play in the upcoming story, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he may be tied to Tom Riddle in more ways than just being a Slytherin and friends with one of Voldemort’s blood relatives. But that’s a theory for another time.

[jessaerys]

how many languages a character can speak is often narrative shorthand for intelligence so it is not surprising to me that it comes up often in wammy's house headcanons but i do find interesting that people often restrict the kids to perhaps three or four including their canonical english & japanese. perhaps throw in there a fanon mothertongue for mello since he is the one with the more foreign sounding real name and therefore exoticized. it's a very usamerican centric perspective imo given how unusual the usa's homogeneity of language is when contrasted to the rest of the world. being multilingual is relatively common really but especially in the global south where dialects vary greatly from location to location. i'd put five to seven languages still in the "very impressive but still in within normal range in the real world" level of ~genius~, BUT we are talking death note which runs on what you can call sherlock holmes logic (the characters are intelligent and therefore impressive because the writer who controls what deductions are right and which aren't, has willed it so) so personally i think it's in line with canon for both mello and near to be highly proficient in at the very least around a dozen languages for which they may have had formal education at wammy's (i don't think it's a stretch that more resources would be allocated towards the education of 'promising' heirs while neglecting those who aren't in the running. hey just like in real life!!!) not to mention there's also the matter of language maintenance & immersion; speaking any given language is famously a use it or lose it skill, but if we take into account that near is probably speaking with law enforcement and government agencies all over the world during the 5 year timeskip and mello is traveling all over the world they would have had plenty of practice. on top of that you can add another dozen languages that they have some level of fluency in that is either lost due to lack of practice or superficial in its acquisition to begin with. basically what im saying is: near and mello can and should be able to communicate in functionally whatever language suits them and when they are arguing they switch to the one that has the exact right flavor of motherfucker they want to call each other that day. near gets very talkative in creole when he's intoxicated. mello has a record for most curse words ever learned that no one will ever know about. japanese makes them far more aware of the structure of their rivalry. and that's not even getting into the semiotics of it all re: languages not only informing but creating the world around you and therefore subtly influencing your personality and sorry where am i what year is it