#and i dont wanna disappoint anyone
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IN HONOUR OF CAT DROPPING here’s a compilation of some old kazui memes bc i’m too lazy to make more <3 i love one man!!!!
#GAY KAZUI TRUTHERS WE WOONNNNNNN#i dont wanna hear anyone call that theory dumb. we were right all along. like his vd almost outright confirms it#i CRIED while listening to it his va did such a good job#BUT I DIGRESS. THE MV???????? INSANEEE#legit my favorite mv ever? like fr? its def in my top 3#ive been waiting for so long and im not disappointed at all. the song is a bop#and the visuals!!!!! KAZUI EATING A DOVE!!!!! SMOKING!!!!#deco actually made kazui just for me btw. not many ppl know it but its true#aaaaa i fell even more in love w/ him after the vd and mv…. his philosophy abt lying is so interesting and understandable#but anyway. at some point ill make more of these im just lazy!!! but i love kazui sm.#also yuno/kazui father/daughter dynamic>>>>>>>>> they are fambly…..#milgram#milgram memes#kazui mukuhara
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i genuinely dont get how so many people are uncritically excited for The Movie and have no issue with anything going on here i feel like im losing my mind a little bit . the trailers did not look good to me at all is everyone excited about it posting from an alternate dimension or something what are people seeing in this movie that im not .
#and i say this as someone whos standards are usually not that high and can have fun with most sonic media and liked the first 2 movies......#all i can feel is disappointment at how bad a job theyre doing at adapting sa2 and the disservice to certain characters/concepts#(obviously thats just based on the trailers i havent seen the movie and refuse to spend money on it so i cant give afull judgement#but the trailers certainly dont give a very good impression of the movie to me)#and before anyone says that its not an sa2 movie.theyre taking a lot of plot points and characters from sa2#and taking a lot of stuff from sa2 and using it in the marketing and such#they cant do all that and then go ''um actually its not an sa2 movie youre crazy for expecting an sa2 movie LOL''#i also wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 either i would have bene fine with changes#but stuff like having gerald be alive and take rouge's spot in the dark story trio and making him a more comedic character#is ridiculous and feels inherently disrespectful to the source material#and thats not even getting into how it feels like im always hearing about some new awful thing#that paramount or one of the actors did which just makes me not wanna give them my money or time even more#sighhh i honestly just want this all to be over alerady and for the hype to die down so ican stop hearing about the movie#but i know its going to make one billion dollars and theyre just going to make more movies after this. hell on earth .
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since the move might be happening sooner than expected im looking at different city options in case plans fall through and i have to go to a more affordable city until i can save up to move to the dream destination and honestly cape disappointment sounds perfect
#like everything is a disappointment anyway#I wanna be kinda close to the airport though#cuz I 10000% plan on making weekend trips as much as possible#it’s only like a 10hr drive but I don’t have a car#I could always rent one#cuz I don’t think it’ll end up being every weekend#or whatever days we have off together#it’s definitely gonna be more of a we’ll figure it out when I get there situation#but I like to pre pre pre plan ahead#anyone have affordable Washington state city suggestions im all ears please and thank youuuu#i’ve been looking into bellingham#since its close to seattle stil and seems to be nature heavy#that’s what im looking for#plus if we’re gonna be going to canada all the time for food tours it’d be nice to be kinda close to the border?#olympia and vancouver is what my friends who lived there suggested#but I dont know#also I know a lot of you guys oddly enough moved from pa or the pnw#how much did it end up costing you in total#just so I know if im on the right track 😅#also do I need to get a car or is travel relatively easy#legit any help would be super appreciated 🙏🏻
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Am I Into This Person But Very Nervous About It, Or Just Going Along For The Ride Because Idk What I Want - And Other Paralyzing Questions To Haunt Your Weekend!
#hhhhhhhhhghhhhghhhhh#man.#its like. i really like this person as a friend and i dont wanna lose her right#and i djd at one point go “hoohoo what if i had a crush on her heehee” bc im weird n i think that abt p much anyone my age i get close to#but ive been very happy having her as my friend and it was so unexpected when she asked me out#and i genuinely cant tell what i want#and like. am i ready to date again. am i just nervous because i dont wanna get hurt again. do i actually feel that way abt her for real.#is this like a “hey lets try this thing out see what happens n if it doesnt work we'll still be friends” kinda thing#or a “I'm really into you and i want to date and ill be disappointed if it doesn't work out” kinda thing on her part....#i know im overthinking this and its probably gonna be fine and im just really not used to casual dating but. aughhhhhhhh#the agonies
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need#cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify#and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence
like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit
#discourse#long post#its genuinely erased so much of my enjoyment of 911blr knowing i have to check accounts or risk seeing bullying/hate#l like its an odd feeling to know that so many people in the same fandom as you actively hold hate or find hate funny against your communit#like tired of people saying others are too sensitive because we dont want to hear or see a person say they want to hurt themself or others#like sorry i put in the work everyday to not let my mental health backslide and to enjoying being alive and accept my queerness#while others seemingly have not#and i know the content i post/share is not all in the same circles as that certain blog and i hate that it still grinds my gears but#its so frustrating to see the cruel glee people have#saying things they would never say to anyone's face irl and only to other blindly devoted/similar bullies#like do these people realise that they are on a razor's edge between 'ironic jokes' and just outright bigotry and threats - like do they#literally the only thing seperating That and conservative bigots is that the bigots are honest about their hatred towards minorities#like a lot of people in the fandom seemingly still need to deal with a lot of intenalised homophobia/racism and just outright hate-#especially regarding queer men and men of colour#because i can not be emphasise enough#It is NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY to be a fully grown adult that actively derives joy from the idea of enacting hate crimes#like you can hate tommy you can want him off the show even want him to die like weird but go off#but its such a next step to unprompted talk about [a character i dislike/hate/dont ship/disrupts my fanon endgame] in derogatory ways -#with rhetoric that straight up is out of terf/rel. right/homophobic/racists bigots and evokes violent hate-crimes......#well i feel sorry for those people cause what a miserable life to spend so much of it unable to enjoy your own life that you target others#anyways I know this is too long but I'm just a very tired man who has studied history and education and working with kids i have seen it -#too many times- harmful words coming from harmful environments or creating harmful actions and thereby perpetuating the cycle of violence#also not super relavent but as Latino Australian i am genuinely appauled at how many people have in their bio they are also Australian-#while actively liking/reblogging and engaging with post that find homophobic violence a funny haha joke - as if activist in our country -#aren't actively trying to dismantle homophobic and transphobic laws regarding issues like conversion therapy#like I know professors that actively got fired for being gay while teaching in religious education context - and its still happening!#so for people to forget so quickly what progress has been made and how much it took and how easy it is to loose - disappointing#(and its the same people who wanna pretend mardi gras is nothing but a party as if 78rs didn't risk their jobs/safety/lives)
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man i wanted so fucking bad to actually do something for my birthday this year but i work 11-5 on my birthday and 10-4 the next day so i can’t even fucking go out On my actual birthday to celebrate cuz i gotta get up at fucking 8am the next day :/ i just want one damn year where i actually get to have a fun birthday but it’s whatever i guess. it’s finally on a saturday this year too AND we found a metal show we wanted to go to but that fucking 10-4 shift the next day makes it impossible so i guess i’ll go fuck myself just like every other goddamn year
#anyone wanna send me weed money lmao (im kidding i should have weed by next week at least :/)#idk im just like……. tired of every single year being like this#nobody likes you when youre (almost) 23 or wtvr#idk. it’s not a huge deal but it’s just kind of upsetting. spent 18 throwing up and 21 and 22 with a killer migraine. so why would 23 be#anything better or anything else#idk im just like. i have a habit of acting like my feelings and what i want does not matter and im tired of doing that to myself like i’m#tired of just completely shoving myself to the side and making myself feel like shit but its like every time i try and stop doing that shit#it just completely backfired and i end up making someone uncomfortable or pissing someone off so i just like. dont try anymore and im tired#of setting myself up to be disappointed so like if i just dont expect anything out of my birthday theres no way i’ll get disappointed :)#but of course this year i start a new job right before my fucking birthday so i don’t have time to request it off so i get scheduled on my#birthday and the day after so the one. fucking. year. i wanted to actually try and go out it’s just not gonna fucking happen#im just tired of every fucking year being like this
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#unimportant thoughts#my Dad bluntly asked if I was gaining weight in an accusing tone tonight#and even though my stomach hurts with hunger and theres a box of my favorite seasonal doughnuts in the house#i csnt look at them without my stomach turning over with disgust and revulsion at myself and my body#I wish he’d stop fucking monitoring his kids bodies like that#he does it to my sisters too#but he’s done it to me ever since I stopped competing and training#and i feel keenly his disappoint that his ‘athlete’ ‘fit’ son he was so proud of is just another average guy with a little belly now#and i struggle with that enough myself without him constantly on my ass#anyways#im fine#im sure ill feel better in the morning#but tonight just kinda sucks#ed tw#food mention#starving tw#I don’t know the fucking tags dude#ana tw#tw ana#i dont have an ed but i dont wanna trigger anyone who does
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making a sorta wip/unfinished compilation video thing for all the vsynth projects ive sorta lost interest in/abandoned sounds like it'd be fun to do and help me clear up some space on this got damn computer but im always like uouguhhh but what if it fucking sucks :( when it comes to like actual cover stuff 😔✌️ like mannn
#delete later#uhghhhh the urge to post wips and show im not dead vs desire to remain mysterious and post whenever tf w/ no warning#the worst part is like a majority of these r also not even past the idea stage 😭#i just have so many vsqxs and vprs and usts downloaded :')) bc i just like hearing these lil fuckheads sing songs i like#but i dont like just plug n play covers. so i try to do some extra work but it usually isnt that great cause duh im not great at this shit#and ive lost interest in some of these and dont rly feel like yknow. forcing myself to work on them more if im not gonna do more w em#tho it also kinda feels sad to like delete them in having not done anything w them... so that's why i like never share wips 😭#cause in the case its something i never finish (spoiler: most things 😔) i dont wanna disappoint#people who were genuinely looking forward to it. IF that even is anyone bruh bc thats the other thing#i feel awkward abt it bc i also feel nobody rly cares abt wips theyd rather just wait and see a final version. so ee#which is like totally understandable tbh but idk 😭 its hard to keep going when motivation is low yknow so id like to share wips#in the event anyone is interested and wants me to continue. but also i like being mysterious abt what i post and nobody knowing my next mov#ughhhhh. bangs my head against the wall. get me outta here. trapped in my brain with my own ideas fucking sucksssss sometimes#i have the power to make polls i COULD make more but. idk i feel like itd get old quick. kicks rocks.#OH and one last thing it'd reveal my shit ass music taste ��😂😭😭 hhhhhhhhfhfjfjnf#ignore me man im just being overdramatic. can anyone hear me. aughhghgh#also i GOTTA get a good tag for the technical vsynth shit for organization#or so people can block if they dont give a fuck. but i need to think of a funny one grrr
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Uhh christmas used to be more fun when i was a kid. When my great-grandfather was alive, from my mother's side of the family, we'd hang out on his house with a lot of relatives I didn't know very well but were nice people and hang with many people our age and also sit in a big rectangular table and eat a cool dinner and have fun. I didn't know hom very well, to be honest, and I wasn't that much sad when he died, for that reason, but it makes me kinda frustrated. This year I am at my grandmother's, from my father's side, and all of the people are much older than me, they put on boring music and we are hanging around for like five hours now, waiting for the dinner to get ready. Maybe it's bc im not really close to any of them (growing up i was always closer to my relatives on my mother's side somehow), maybe its bc im used to eating in a big table, maybe its bc they r all very religious and any time now therell be a looong prayer to end the party or—idk. Maybe its bc i do have a favorite side of the family, after all. I don't dislike these people. Im just....... um. Not having much fun. I wish i could be drawing with kids my age ("kids", lol) or telling jokes or hearing high moods christmas songs or talking to people i know or. I don't know
#death ment tw#christmas#rambles#rant#its being a pretty boring christmas#last year the new years eve was also here and it was SO disappointing#hmmm#i should go do smth ab that#i have one cousin here i really really really like but i dont know if she feels like hanging with me#theres also my siblings but its kinda boring being w them. we live together. i wanna talk to other ppl#i dont know anyone else aside from my aunts my step mother and my dad. uh#although all these people know my name XD#its kinda embarassing not remembering theirs#so i just pretend i remember who they are
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I wanna start doing commissions again, i could really use the money and it will probably give me a sense of productivity... But god I'm so scared to. Past experiences and such and how ive been feeling lately. idk why its so much harder to draw than it used to be and its driving me insane. I dont wanna promise something and never deliver again
#this shit sucks dude#i dont know what to do#and i have friends waiting for things too#i could put up one slot at a time but also that also scares me#i dont wanna disappoint anyone#oh my goddd why my brain like this#pls let me draw enthusiastically again i miss it so much#medli rambles#sorry to vent
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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Hey fellows. A really bad snowstorm hit my town and the power has been hit REALLY bad. No posts or drawings for a couple of days. SORRY!
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Do you have any master posts/will be getting any for your rottmnt comics? Also may I ask if you have a transmasc Leo deals with female bio issues? Nothing graphic pls - just maybe complaining and confusing people? Also also! Love your comics the art style is amazing! And I love the stories they flow amazingly well!
I wanna do master posts for my comics BUT I only have mobile devices and I feel like links look weird on those ??? Idk I don’t like it 😣
And no, I’m not going to do anything erm. Biological. It feels weird to me, because I’m so much older than the turtles to be thinking about that kind of thing, you know?
I will keep doing silly little comics as I get ideas though!! I’m trying to get another out in the next few hours 😌
#rottmnt#tmnt#trans Leo saga#I’m gonna put that tag here#bc it feels right#also sorry if anyone is disappointed abt the bio issue :/#it jus makes me uncomfortable#I’m a whole 6 years older than series Leo#I DONT wanna be thinking abt his reproductive system THAT hard
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christ i know its her birthday but i just have too much to do i cant manage that i really cant. but the paralysing fucking dread of having to tell her that sure is something lol
#love her a lot and we've been friends for almost 10 years now but the way im always walking on eggshells around her#to make sure i dont upset her because i know it only takes the tiniest bit of fuckup and she's mad before you even realise it#like fucksake not to say im jesus or sth but i try so hard to be understanding and not get mad at people because damn dude stuff happens#or sometimes there is no stuff. sometimes you just feel Bad and dont wanna hang out. and i get that i truly viscerally get that#and ive never ONCE gotten mad at her for cancelling. scratch that. never once got mad at her for ANYTHING#never once told her she disappointed me or let me down because good christ i just dont look at people like that#i just wish so desperately this approach would be extended to ME every once in a while#im so fucking tired man i dont get it#i couldnt imagine going through life thinking anyone owes you anything.#she forgot my birthday this year and i didnt care. she didnt arrive to the planned weekend out at my place with our friends#and i said dw about it its fine i understand that you're not feeling well rn its okay no problem we'll hang out another time#have i EVER heard that from anyone else. no it's always the ✨getting mad✨ option#god i wish i could like. Not Care. like genuinely not care instead of gaslighting myself into not caring lol
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would y’all be mad if i played the globetrotter challenge before finishing the bachelor challenge
#i played the bc a bit today but im just not feeling it#and i keep getting one billion animation errors and its really annoying#its not generating any exceptions but they cant eat food or throw away trash#and im just so excited for the globetrotter challenge#but i feel like with the bc people are expecting it#but that just makes me feel pressured and makes me wanna play even less ugh#but i also dont wanna disappoint or upset anyone#but also i already let it go on hiatus for so long#i know i should be doing what i wanna do and what i know im gonna enjoy#i wish i hadnt updated the game honestly#my game was working so well now its not 😭#im terrified of opening my legacy save if theres issues with it im gonna cry#so i also wanna start a fresh new save for a big#bit*#idk sorry for the rambling#i just dk what to do lol
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