#and i dont know why i cant just talk to people normally

[riverashifts]

I know you are probably focused on Siwan but how did you and Jay come together?? Yes, I'm asking for both y'all's love.story cause you both seem iconic-

EEEEEE i LOVE talking about jay and i's story so this is gonna be a LONG one

okay so . it all starts when we first meet in i-land—mind you iland works a little differently in my dr but it doesn't affect our story that much. i'm known as the "monster trainee" because i would always dominate monthly evaluations — and now, since the female and male trainees aren't evaluated together, jay (and the others) didn't really know what to expect. so when i absolutely blow everyone away with my entrance performance (i still haven't decided what it'll be cause im indecisive..) jay gets a little intimidated

meanwhile,,,, he and sunghoon perform the seventh sense and im like ???? oh so this is what they're bringing to the table. and i am ALSO intimidated but mostly because i have Issues and compare myself even more to the guys cause . yeah Why Wasn't I Born A Boy — oh i did not mean to get into That right now but anyways

so we're two people who are intimidated by each other and incredibly stubborn so that evolves into us hating each other for no legitimate reason lmao😭😭 and this goes on during the entirety of part one of iland like we CANT STANDDDD each other, we always argue about the dumbest things and even have to be seperated

and then we're selected to move onto the second part of iland alongside the six other selected members, so now we know there's a high chance we debut together and we DONT want to mess up our own chances, so we try to be civil.

for the first test in part two guess what... we get paired to do a duo performance of on by bts 😐 amazing song! less favourable partner.

but we get through it and kinda distantly realize that "hey the other isn't so bad" but yes again we are Stubborn and won't actually reconcile like normal human beings, so we kind of start ignoring each other from that point forward

UNTIL. at the end of the third performance jay got a lot of criticism so he was scared of being eliminated and taken out of the group. so, he wrote all those letters. and when i saw he was giving people letters, i didn't actually expect him to give me one, but he did.

i decided to read it while i was alone in the kitchen while everyone was asleep, and erm i started crying lol! cause jay apologized for how rude he was and all his bad behaviours and ended it with "in another life, i hope we can start over and be friends" and what do you know jay walks in while im crying into his letter...

so then we spend the rest of the night (we have a day off the next day) basically just talking and getting to know each other, properly "restarting" our relationship—and we realize we actually get along quite well when we're not off in our own worlds of assumptions

fast forward we end up debuting together and everything is fine and wonderful until i'm like Oh. i Like him which is fine and wtv cause i scripted i don't get awkward 🥸 (i realize my feelings in like january-february 2021)

then in the summer of 2021 during one of enhypen's breaks, jay and i are the only ones who stay at the dorm (a week long break) (no that's not how breaks work in this reality but i DONT CARE)

anyway we don't really interact much cause we're relaxing and wtv but then he asks if i want to order food with him, and how can i say no to free food??? so we end up eating together and then watching a movie and then Wabam something in the air happens that we kiss 😱😱

but then right as we pull apart jake comes back to the dorm 😒 so we don't really talk about it and just go to bed

and then the next day i spend it at the studio cause im Awkward and can't face jay after That but he ends up coming to my studio and we actually just work on music basically all day (we write young (og cix) which will feature on the dimension : answer album)

after we finish the song (the demo) jay kinda just goes "so... we Kissed ." and that kinda starts a conversation which leads to him confessing and then i confess to him and Yeah 😁

sorry this is so long LMAO i hope the explanation was clear cause i kinda just ranted without plans

[pollyannaswag]

personally i think spicytok/dark romance memes poking fun at the ridiculousness of some of it is all good fun but if you seriously take 'issue' with adult women being excited to read smut that appeals to their interests within a community of likeminded people who want to hear about it & share recommendations... you do realize you're just shaming women for having sexuality right

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

[meowkusunoki]

ocgrammers reblog and tell me how your characters type

[secret-side-hetalia-blog]

I love having friends that will listen to me ramble about anything else, any other stupid interest.

But just not hetalia, thats the line.

[mellotronmkll]

I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard

[finnleyandsillys]

Me when I want to talk to my favorite tsp creator but I get flashbacks to February-March last year

HOPEFULLY. This doesn't happen and im not insane and im being scared for nothing. I swear on my life I will never drink underage

not wanting to be like them makes me better right? Right?

[timeisacephalopod]

The pushback to the term "cultural Christianity" from atheists is real odd to me because, as someone who has been an atheist since 13, only ever went to church a handful of times never with my own family (made a note never to sleep over at that friends house on a Saturday again bc I HATED church it smelled like shit, was boring, pews are uncomfortable as fuck, and the religious people I knew were all wildly misogynistic and I've never been here for being told I was less of a person for being Born Like This), and generally had no actual connection to Christianity in a meaningful way but still only knows Christian mythology, has been steeped in Christian values I had to untangle, and my religious understandings are still deeply Christian.

Like Ive never paid attention to the bible, church, Jesus, Christian teachings, or whatever but if you asked me about any religion the one I'll reliably know the most about is Christianity. I don't know why atheists are offended by being called culturally Christian because they have bad blood with the religion because like sorry bruh that doesn't mean you're less indoctrinated by Christian values if the culture you grew up in is predominantly Christian. In fact I'd say that religion being this ubiquitous in the culture regardless of anyone's consent to exactly ONE religion being shoved down our throats is reason to team up with other religious folks who ALSO don't like being constantly evangelized to by the culture at large, not a reason to throw a fit because you don't like being tied to a religion that is so ingrained into the culture that shit like "oh my god" and "Jesus Christ" are common expressions of surprise regardless of how atheist you are. Like surely I'm not the only atheist to notice the shocking amount of cultural religious shit that works it's way into my life and speech despite having not set foot in a church since I was like 10, and I can't remember the last time I was in one before that.

Idk man cultural Christianity seems like a pretty damn useful term to describe my relationship with a religion I never fully bought into and then actively rejected as a child yet still hold weird connections to and knowledge of just because Christianity is so baked into the culture I grew up in like it or not. If you want to be mad, be mad at the Christians who stole your freedom from religion from you, not usually religious minorities who discuss cultural Christianity and how it damages them too.

[vaniliens]

Gonna burn this whole place down!!!! 😁😇😂😅😍😏😉😜💕

[mukuberry]

i hate the shinonome abuse discourse its actually my least favourite thing in the fandom. both sides are so convinced that people can't change or be better that the people who are against ena genuinely think she's the worst person alive and everyone who likes her is an abuser themselves, and the people who do like her constantly undermine her actions ("its just what siblings do" "scratching isn't that bad" "she was in a bad place"). maybe she genuinely did fuck up and hurt akito and maybe she grew as a person and realised that it wasn't okay to take your anger out on others. is that not allowed?

[windypuddle]

white guy cast as heathcliff.... this is like benedict cumberbatch as khan but Worse

[mbat]

honestly my biggest wonder about yesterdays drama was like... who even was that? not the person being called out, but the one calling them out. like, its one thing to make a throwaway to make a callout post, but to go on anon and try to pull unrelated people into it? this was clearly someone still in the taleblr server since they had screenshots from literally the same day in their callout

this isnt me taking sides because genuinely i have more important things to worry about than all that, but its different when it comes to this person because like... i just thought yall were different than that? maybe we all dont totally consider eachother friends entirely but i liked to think we were all somewhere around there for the most part

theres only so many of us and we all try to stay chill (to more or less success) because like... theres probably less than 100 of us left, and we're all adults by now as far as i know, and i know age doesnt really equal maturity, but its just so immature to try and stir drama by messaging unrelated parties.

honestly even if the person told me in private who they were its not like id make shit worse by posting about them or something because, again, i have bigger things to worry about, im just curious at this point. its not even an obligation for them to come forward, im just admitting that im curious.

if anything all i have to say is be the bigger person and block and move on when you dont like someone or something someone did. i get that you saw stuff that you found gross and you wanted everyone to feel the same way you did, but the rest of us just want to live our lives. plus i think the people that were messaged arent even in the discord so it was honestly even weirder to do that

ive had my fair share of seeing things that made me feel gross to see or read or know about, like, seriously i found out one of my friends was a pedo last year (and i promptly blocked the cunt). but it doesnt do anything to pull other people into the mess and try to start shit.

basically, just be more mature, cause i know yall are better than that. you dont have to read fics that you dont like, and you dont have to interact with people you dont like. your online experience is yours and the best option is always to block and move on. ive had my fair share of drama, and all it does is ruin peoples days, and not much else.

my biggest point, honestly, is that this is such a small fandom and i dont want whats left to come crashing down because some drama makes everyone left hate it here. i dont care whos right or wrong because literally whatever its internet drama, i just dont want this community to die out.

[absolutelyzoned]

i get so fucking mad when im overstimulated holy shiitttt

[bachikinmo4]

Nothing is fun to me anymore rlly. (Rant under cut)

I always feel either scared or unimportant around people id consider my friends. I hope they consider me my friends. I want to talk to people more and hang out more but i always feel scared and anxious that im gonna mess it up. Many times have i talked to people and came out of it feeling like i chose all the wrong dialogue options in a game. I just want to be liked and appreciated without having to ask or beg for it or initiate it myself. Its selfish of me to say that yes but what can i do. You cant be selfless all the time in this stupid baka world.

I have this one group i play games with. We roleplay while playing and make up our own story. But ive noticed that its so fucking biased to one person. They always have the most drastic plot developments, most insane shit happening to them, the spotlight is always on them like theyre the main character. Idk how the others feel about it but the plot almost never circles around them as much as it does to that guy. Maybe theyre used to it as this isnt the first rp campaign theyve done. Im not and i dont like it, it should be a even group effort and not leaning to one character.

Theres also this one person, i dont hate them at all, but they are always so unnecessarily angry all the time, especially when i ask a question about something i dont know. Not my fucking fault that im new to this and dont know as much as you, stop yelling at me. "They just explained it to you!" Well what if i didnt fucking understand . Then what. You got a problem with me wanting clarification? Or needing something complex explained? God forbid. They also get angry at things other than me or the game but it still makes me uncomfortable and scared. It makes me not want to play with that group anymore if everyone's just gonna be purposefully vague, get mad at me or something else, or add confusing plots and details and inside jokes i dont understand. I dont understand almost any of the inside jokes and references bc i didnt hang out with that group long enough and i feel like a total outcast and tourist to this friend group. But i dont want to police anything, thatd make them like me less. Im sorry.

I feel like an outcast to any group tbf. Im always a little too different from everyone. Im too young. Im too old. I like different things. I have different opinions. I value different things. It makes me feel hated and annoying and maybe im right in saying that. Maybe i am annoying. Im too weird. Im too anxious. I cant even ask someone i really like if they want to hang out with me and talk more. I fear disappointing them and scaring them off. I dont want to weird them out. Im a good person. I hope i am. We both are weird in our own regards but im scared ill be too much to them. Too annoying, too hard to talk with. Too hard to please, too hard to understand.

Too hard to be around with.

[jacklesraised]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

[lycanthian]

there is nothing more inhumanly frustrating to me than when someone tries to correct you on something and by all accounts theyre right except that in doing so they have wrongly assumed what you are trying to do