#they all think im fine. so im fine
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i get so fucking mad when im overstimulated holy shiitttt
#ive had problems with like. lashing out and hurting people my whole life and its nice to kinda know why but like .#i cant do anything about it#and i need help#but no one listens#because i dont talk about things. but i don't talk because no one listens because im “fine”#they all think im fine. so im fine#i have to be fine#i have to be normal#i cant be myself because i need to be normal#i just want to be normal
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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feed your partner a salamander
#i have Very Many emotions in me right now and im coping by humour#arcane#arcane spoilers#and thinking about old viktor feeding jayce salamanders is somehow delightfully absurd in all this#“yeah#youre doing so fine crawling out of that hole keep going have a treat“#just for funsies tho ofc ofc#jayvik#jayce#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor#jayce arcane#arcane season 2#arcane memes
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this idea wont leave my brain please help me !! YIPPEE HADES BATKIDS !!!
without the bg and text under the cut :))
asdhj probably gonna post like,, two at a time because thats ,, a lot,,,, of drawing ,,,,,,, so heres tim and jason! i think i got the hang of it more with jason lol
ALSO ALSO!!!
thank you to those who helped me with the titles for the batkids!! they were all really good :D (all on insta lol)
timothy: the tenured - thomson_at
#yeah jasons hair gave me ... a lot of trouble until i landed on this#i was debating doign a long hairstyle but i dont think it looked too good with the wreath lol#tims clothing actually gave me sooo much trouble#i really wanted to incorperate more of his red robin elements in it and so i really wanted to do the yellow bandoliers#but thats why he has the upper arm wraps#maybe ill redo him later#once i get the hang of jen zee's style more lolol#jason was fun though#askj commentary over#jason todd#red hood#robin#tim drake#dc fanart#dc comics#batfam#batman#ash's doodlings#hades game#hades supergiant#wait more commentary#i used apollo artemis and hermes for tim because i wanted more of that slimmer vibe#and zag i mostly used for jason#yeah im not super happy with tim but for like.. a second attempt im fine with it#btw if this were an actual game#id like to think that the protagonist would be damian#trying to find his father (bruce) and coming across all of his fathers kids and pseudo kids lol
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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something something seeing things through different eyes
#tigerghost#art student manny is my FAVORITE of jorge guitierrez's plans for his life. i LOVEEEE that sm#danny takes him to the ghost zone for some mission reason and hes like OHHH MY GOD THIS IS SICK AS FUCK#ITS AWAKENED LATENT FINE ART IMPULSES IN ME!!#meanwhile danny kind of tolerates being in the GZ but its very much like. not a place where Good things happen to him#hes grown accustomed to it and he loves certain things about it but he will never be fond of it and that sort of colors his perception of i#so manny coming in like WHOAH AND YOURE THE /KING/ HERE? THINK OF ALL THE COOL ASS GHOSTS YOU CAN MEET! THE AWESOME GHOST LANDS!#THE FLOATING GREEN STUFF!!!#gives him a little bit of that first-time wonder back :')#anyways the style is HEAVILY cribbed from anastasia trusova who i HIGHLY recommend checking out#when im rich and famous i shall buy many of her pieces#ntu tag#designs as always tm tm tm tumblr user nicktoonsunite#also mannys jersey was kept safe by his Painting Shirt (now tied about his waist) you know his apartment is eclectic af#but quite clean. he got the stress cleaning habit from his dad
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these two are so interesting to me
characters belong to @canisalbus
#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it#but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo#but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try#so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine#god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos#i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope#what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures#my art#myart#others ocs#vasco#machete#vaschete#furry art#fur#anthro
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According to NBC here in the US, the missing titanic sub has been found. As debris. Off the bow of the Titanic wreckage.
And it looks like the sub suffered what we all suspected, and what was undoubtedly the more merciful of the two options: a catastrophic implosion from the pressure.
Also, more info has come to light about the fishing trawler with the hundreds of migrants that sank cataclysmically off the coast of Greece, indicating that the greek coast guard knew about the vessel AND how much trouble the vessel was in, and were towing it at a speed that made it capsize, at which point they unhooked the tow line and watched the trawler sink without helping the passengers to safety. Despite a bunch of other ships trying to help as well throughout the whole ordeal.
So a lot of people are dead, all because of regulations (and the lack thereof) regarding sea-faring vessels and rescue protocols. People shouldnt be allowed to make a business charging a ton of money for a ride on an uncertified, unsafe, un-seaworthy ship going deep into the ocean with no distress beacon or tether to the mothership. People also shouldnt be allowed to enact laws that criminalize the ferrying of refugees, which then force the refugees to hitch rides on fishing trawlers, and which also prevent people from helping those fishing trawlers full of refugees due to fear of legal consequences.
Hopefully BOTH of these events spark changes on an international scale in terms of what is legally allowed to be sailed, who is legally allowed to be the passengers, and what the rescue protocols are in the event of disaster for any seafaring vessel, illegal or not. It shouldnt be just the global 1% who get 24/7 search parties and remote-operated submersibles helping rescue them.
#the question of 'what do we owe to each other' can be answered simply with 'the dignity of retrieving our remains when we die'#another answer is 'the dignity of thinking about each other fellow humans with similar motivations and feelings'#also 'stopping someones potentially self-destructive behaviors just because theyre rich and want to feel special'#also i feel like humans have been sailing the seas long enough that it should be guaranteed that people will survive sea voyages#im very mad about specifically mediterranean maritime disasters because we have ancient writing saying they made it safe#sailing from Egypt to Greece was so old hat and safe that people legit took the ancient equivalent of cruises back and forth#cleopatra habitually sailed from alexandria to rome with a ton of ships and was fine#Nero tried to have his mother drowned at sea by orchestrating a dramatic shipwreck while she was our sailing AND SHE SURVIVED#and then swam to shore got back to rome and whooped his ass#fuckin pliny the elder tried to evacuate people from pompeii and the surrounding coast villages when vesuvius erupted#and he actually WAS able to rescue people#but he himself had an asthma attack from the fumes which led to a heart attack and he died on the beach#there is legit no excuse for that trawler of migrant refugees to have wrecked#negligence all around#anyway#oceangate
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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Gore, Violence and Blood under the cut
What a mess
#fop nature au#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop#dale dimmadome#Flowers OC#candy gore#gore#blood#body horror#this really is a mess on so many levels#I wanted to make this situation as difficult as possible for the fairy council to theoretically clear up#everything from the animal to the location to the injury is a nightmare to try and explain#And theres a reason I spent so much time showing the gore getting on his injury. Mans gonna have a rainbow bitemark on his leg forever now#Not exactly easy to explain away#Also I think I accidentally established that Magic was a little toxic so he might have minor blood poisoning lol#Im sure he'll be fine#This is how all gay people are made but the fairies make you forget it#Actually while scripting this I realized how much this looked like the set up for some kind were-deer or were-fairy(??) plotline#which was not the intention but would be a hilarious direction to take the plot in LMAO#Also Id like to mention that flowers is fine. Fairies are functionally immortal aside from magic backup#Itll be healed up like nothing happened it no time#that being said it is still kinda pissed about the skull smashing#Dales got multiple broken ribs plush his leg is in shambled. Absolutely demolished#He's gonna have to get metal implants#You might think 'oh he's gonna opt to get a prosthetic leg now too'#No. Because hes a cowardly little bitch#He doesnt want to get his leg removed if its not absolutely necessary and because he's a nasty little hypocrite#Anyway this will be the start of a very nasty spiral methinks
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remembering how the character developtment of anders dragon age is seeing him getting angrier and sadder and more depressed each time 👍
#persecuted apostate then tainted with the blight then possessed. this man can hold so many problems#thinkin how playing bg3 you can help all your pals to be happier people and then remembering anders. for contrast#im fine about this im not unwell at all i think about anders a normal amount#im replaying dao now and when i get to awakenings and then da2 i will explote#dragon age#anders#dragon age 2#anders dragon age#anders da2#dragon age awakening#drago age origins
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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@chipper-smol I couldn't get the thought out of my head of dragon loop flying on unfamiliar wings away from their problems because obviously that's why they have them haha ha ha
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#i... i think#loop isat#siffrin isat#art#fanart#kitscribbles#I HAVENT DRAWN DRAGON IN FOREVER im so sorry if i mucked your loop's anatomy fnjdvks#also imagine loop winds up right back at the tree whenever sif loops#its FINE. its WHATEVER. who wants to be up where the stars are anyway hrghrgrgrgr whats even the point#the universe gives you a substitute to take over the responsibility you feel and wings to go take a vacation somewhere else and yet#its like the universe is a sucker for irony or something haha ha#imagine sif doesnt even see loop for so much longer because theyre just out there seeing how much distance they can cover#oh hey is that an island it looks familiar *loops* stardust you LITTLE-#also i drew sif so small to begin with and then realized. little guy isn't little enough because loop is so BIG#^^^ all of this is just me being silly with ideas dont mind me
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gonna start scheduling older art (all from this year tho) to post, since i have so much un-posted art goddamn JKAKFKLSD
some desmonds :]
#sxf#spy x family#damian desmond#melinda desmond#demetrius desmond#sxf manga#spy x family manga#sxf manga spoilers#i wanna say that the way i draw deme isn't always indicative of what i think his CANON dynamic with damian is#this is fanart so im allowed to pretend like all is fine and dandy when it's clearly not JKAKLFKLSD#my art#also that is bebe melinda!
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🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍
#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#sha hualing#mobei jun#shang qinghua#bingqiu#scumbag self saving system#scum villian self saving system#svsss#svsss fanart#myart#soupysundaeart#svsssaction#i finally have the opportunity to rant about my thought process and a few of the details but hey#hi if u saw this first on insta and on twitter#but first of all#those border things are specifically zhuzhi-lang’s snakes cute tongue and all was poking out but it doesnt even matter cause theyre covered#almost all texts were handwritten#the toucan touch was a last minute addition as my friends were somewhat with me halfway through making this drawing#“haha there’s two cans on vc because he’s sharing screen of its progress” and then they send multiple toucan pics on the gc#pelt them with rocks#if you think this formating seems somewhat familiar its because i was inspired by a tgcf magazine#orginally the oval at the top right was supposed to be a portion for sqq’s “reaction” to luo binghe coming 2 years earlier#the number 24? my favorite number. no it doesn’t align with the chapter number luo binghe comes back in the novel#the repetition of “next” was accidental. i repeated next twice at first and i said might as well take it a step further and add another one#then the mourning mourning blah text was just to fill up the space#i am so incredibly smart (never)#this binghe is somewhat smaller than the insta and twit post cause i just realized he kinda bothered me so#sucks cause i spotted the error hours later the art posts and it was too late to repost again#but its ok im fine with it (im not)
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