#and i don't think she cared about her legacy-- but i don't think she wouldn't have mourned the loss of those letters by the end of her life

[dustykneed]

elizabeth schuyler was a sister and a daughter. elizabeth hamilton is all that, and a revolutionary's wife, and then the wife of the secretary of the treasury, scorned.

she burns letters, and she commits his penmanship to memory. he only began to loop the H in his name after the end of the war. he used to write like a hurricane was at his heels, in his youth. every poem etched with a shard of his soul, bleeding light like cathedral glass.

she loves him, still. she doesn't think she could ever stop. but she lets him think she has, and eliza is many things, but now, above all else, she is a mother.

so she burns every letter he has written her-- burns months and years and decades-- and she rereads her life in reverse, in the light of her candle flame. she erases his past, every bit of it with love, for her children, for him.

years of her life crumble into ash beside his.

[midnightwind]

today's DAV pondering of debatable import is: do you think Caterina would dislike Lucanis bringing home a partner who wasn't a human?

elves have all sorts of societal negatives going for them (the Crows utilizing them because people tend to either not see them as people or as an exotic novelty is a thing for a reason) but they're also known to be a little more lithe, a little faster so not terrible Crow material and she can always keep his partner hidden in the back of everything, nice and quiet and not seen or acknowledged. and well, a knife will solve all sorts of problems if the children have pointier ears than they should...

if he brought home a dwarf, well, heavy sighing will ensue I'm sure, but a smaller Crow can hide easier, slip into more hiding places, might be a bit sturdier when they got hit. and there are plenty of rich dwarven merchants they could impersonate or pretend at so it wouldn't even be that awful of a piece on the board! there aren't many dwarven Crows that we see in Treviso (or! I am simply blind, also very possible!!) so maybe they'll have to fight a little harder for the respect owed a Dellamorte, but that will come with time.

but if he brings home a qunari? I think that'd start a lot fights. Antiva still has to fight off the Antaam, there are still dregs of the qunari fighters loose in Treviso itself after all! vicious horns and barking Qun are what many Antivans would know of the qunari after the invasion. if you play a qunari, Jacobus actually remarks on this when he begins cursing the Antaam for killing his brother! (I played a Shadow Dragon qunari, so his words were more along the lines of "but you're different, I know you are, you're helping" but I do wonder how this differs if you're a Crow qunari!) Caterina could try to spin it in a way of "trying to heal" after the invasion, or as an "olive branch union" I'm sure, but I imagine there would be a lot of push back. it would be easier to have him present someone else as his partner, a front, while keeping his qunari love as a mistress (gender neutral here, bls, have mercy on me) he should never be seen with. and ohh, the fights that would cause...

I could make a whole other post of Lucanis bringing home a partner he can't have kids with, or a partner who doesn't want kids and the logistics of Caterina trying to push him towards at least fathering a child or three through someone else while being publicly with Rook, or the far worse option of forcing the lineage on Illario (especially if you sent him to prison!!!) and it really starts turning into a Gordian Knot of awful, huh

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

In light of Brian Thompson being shot dead on my birthday (🎉🥳🎂) I'd like to share a personal story about UnitedHealthcare.

During the peak of COVID, my family all got sick. I couldn't be on my parents' insurance because they were both older and on Medicare. So, I had insurance through my University: UnitedHealthcare.

For some reason, rather than roll-over each year, I got a new plan each year that ended after May and didn't start until August, so I was uninsured for the summer months, but it was a weird situation that the university denied, and told us we were supposed to be insured year-round, it was messy.

Both of my parents went to the hospital, and I got sick too. I had to take care of my pets, and myself, and try to stay alive and keep my pets alive when I was so weak I could hardly move. When my parents came home, my condition got dramatically worse (I think my body knew it couldn't give out, because there was nobody to take care of me, so once my parents were okay, it completely crashed and failed.)

I started experiencing emergency symptoms. It was a bit hard to breathe, my chest hurt, and I was extremely delirious. I wanted to call my insurance to see if I was covered (this was during the summer) and I was connected to some nice person, probably making minimum wage, who told me with caution in her voice that my plan was expired. I had no active insurance, but she urged me to go to an emergency room. I remember saying something to the effect of "You just told me I don't have insurance, I can't go to the hospital, I can't afford it."

She sounded so genuinely worried and scared. I remember she said "You really don't sound good, you sound really sick, please call 9-1-1" and I think I just said "I can't afford it without insurance, don't worry, I think I'll be okay."

And she paused and said "I don't want to hang up the phone with you like this." And it sounded like she was holding back tears. And I don't remember what I said, I think that I would be okay, and I hung up.

I still think about her. I wonder if that phone call haunted her, or if she had dozens of calls like that a day. I wonder if she thinks about it at all, if she wonders if I died after she told me I didn't have insurance and therefore couldn't go to the hospital without incurring a tremendous financial burden. I wonder if she feels guilt or blame-- of course she shouldn't, it wouldn't have been her fault if anything had happened to me. Maybe it's self-centered to wonder if she thinks about it. I'm not the main character and it was just her job. But, still.

I think about how evil it was that we were put in that situation. Because offering year-long continuous coverage through the university plan would maybe cut into profits, maybe not benefit shareholders enough, maybe cut into Thompson's $10 million salary. While his minimum wage administrators have to feel afraid to hang up the phone, because on the other line someone might be dying, and they wouldn't know. While his patients hang up and decide to take their chances rather than put their family through that trauma.

This is UnitedHealthcare. This is Brian Thompson's legacy. This is why, understandably, an entire nation is jubilant that he was gunned down like the vermin he was. I don't care about his widow. I feel pity for his children, despite the fact that they will inherit millions, but I feel more pity for the children of his victims patients who are gone because they didn't want THEIR children to inherit crippling debt. Brian Thompson got what he fucking deserved. I pray that he not be the only one. I pray for continued safety, peace , and anonymity for his killer.

American healthcare is a disease.

[imtrying-ok]

I'm from a family where women are in charge of most things, finances, the house, bills getting paid on time, important administrative and historical documents and papers, family heirlooms (men are so dumb, they can't be trusted with that stuff!), the children. In my subconscious mind, women work harder. Women go to work everyday and men are just lazy slobs. All men are good for is a (smaller, obviously) supplementary income, having kids with, maybe cooking, and only sometimes emotional companionship. (I am serious - this has been said to me in different ways by multiple family members, from my mom to my great grandmother)

I was told I was so lucky to be born a girl, because I get to join this long line of women. That they were so lucky I was born a girl so they had someone to continue a legacy with. That they could dream of never loving a boy the same way. That they could never let a man continue this legacy, he's too dumb! He'd lose everything. He wouldn't care about the legacy, obviously. He'd just ruin it like all men do. They're so glad I'm around, I'll inherit everything and take great care of it.

I wanted to wear a suit to my father's wedding and they were scared. They heard me going by my gender neutral last name instead of my feminine first name (inherited from my greatx5 grandmother no less) and they hated it. "Don't you want to be a girl?" But I know what they really meant was "don't you want to be what I think you should be?" Then my grandmother talks about how she's scared she won't have anyone to inherit her house, her things, the pieces of history she takes care of (a piece of the Berlin wall, an old German family Bible, my family's passports from the 1800s, a handwoven tapestry, etc... "old country" stuff that every European immigrant family has laying around for some reason. But that's for another post.)

I know why it apparently can't go to me anymore. I've been 'tainted'. My beautiful feminine qualities have been pushed out by my desire to be a handsome untrustworthy kind violent man (they can't even call me that) other . They could handle if I was a lesbian, it was only logical to like other women, and my mother dated women as often as she dated men throughout my life. They could handle if I didn't want kids, in fact, I was told explicitly to not have them in the past (thanks grandma), they can betray you and leave you heartbroken (thanks mom). They couldn't handle me being a man.

There is some kind of inherent quality of being a man that makes you bad. And I was choosing to betray them and myself.

Needless to say, I don't feel very comfortable in trans or feminist spaces.

[serra-says]

thinking about that moment in junior year after the big fight where all the bad kids are asked to think about a moment that seemed unjust to them, and Fabian reflects on the expectations Bill set for him.

given how big of a role Bill has played in his life and how much Fabian cares for him, that's unsurprising, but I feel like it would have been just as, if not more powerful of a moment if he had taken that time to really think about Hallariel and her presence in his life.

yes, Bill put him under immense pressure to become great and create a legacy, but there's imo just as much unfairness in Fabian growing up without a mother, Hallariel being always just out of reach in her sensory deprivation egg or drunk, and never being able to ask her for a hug or validation or getting anything from her that kids are supposed to get.

he asked her to step up and become a parent, and he watches her try her hand at it but doesn't actually get to experience it, being ripped away to fight the Nightmare King and the Night Yorb, and by the time he gets back she's spending her time with Gilear and barely contacts him at all.

and then, all the Bad Kids making jokes about half-siblings and Hallariel and Gilear having kids - and they're joking, and he knows they don't mean any harm, but he fought for that. he fought for the possibility of having a mother in his life, a maternal presence he missed out on for the first sixteen years of his life because she wouldn't care enough about him, and then two more because he wasn't able to prioritise his relationship with her over the fate of the world.

and now his friends are joking about it, watching as his mother seems to be ready to actually be a mother, just not to him. watching as his family falls apart due to the death of father, and his mother starting over with her new partner and having a child she wants to spend her energy on.

it was never her. she was always able to be a mother - she just didn't choose him, never cared enough to be one for him, and now he's 18 and she's too late. they're all too late. and he's alone in his big house, and his friends are laughing, and the single boy in the photos on the wall feels especially lonely when he thinks about his friends in their haunted house with cold, drafty windows and cracks in the foundations and walls with frames filled with smiling faces of two, three, four, five people, and the boy on the wall sits forever alone within the four frames of the photos, the four walls of his house.

just, Fabian man. i have so much sympathy for him

[lu-is-not-ok]

Doesn't Two in One kind of really just reiterate on themes that are present with Don Quixote/Sancho? I feel like any idea of that theory has to coincide with the fact that Sancho herself has a ton of duality themes and imagery and that with the amount of family motifs repeating it feels like it would be a little clunky to have them having similar character arcs along those lines.

Well, first of all, let's get one thing straight: I didn't just randomly come up with duality motifs for Hong Lu.

They are, already, very much there in the game itself when it comes to Hong Lu's E.G.O. corrosions and other places. That's not something I just randomly came up with, it's all already there. All I'm doing is pointing at and trying to explain why it might be there. Even if this theory didn't exist, the motifs and imagery wouldn't just disappear.

That's something you'd have to bring up with PM themselves, not with me. //silly

As for the similarity in character arcs you bring up... there are two ways I could respond to that. Both which I think are important to mention.

The first is that, well, Don Quixote and Hong Lu are already set up as being major parallels to each other. There are already many other little motifs and details that the two overlap in.

Donqui and Hong Lu are two out of the three Sinners to wear nameplates rather than ID cards on their uniforms. They're two out of the three Sinners to have something strange going on with their eyes. They're the only two Sinners whose base E.G.O animations have them enter the frame from off-screen rather than start off already standing there. They're both compared to actors in one way or another. And most importantly, the 'Oblivion' mentioned in Don Quixote's Sinner color is directly compared to naivete in the story itself, meaning it's effectively a synonym to the epithet of Hong Lu's Sinner color - 'Naive'.

The fact that Donqui's Canto was for a good chunk of it effectively a prologue to Hong Lu's Canto isn't just some random coincidence - it's meant to highlight that the two are similar in a way that isn't immediately obvious.

Their arcs being similar is already set up to be kind of the point.

The second thing is that you seem to think that the degree of "similarity" you expect this theory to lead to would make the two arcs downright identical, when... in all honesty I don't think that'd be the case.

Sure, if you look at the two from the bare bones surface, you could Maybe make the argument that they'd be 'too similar' - someone who is stripped of their humanity and is part of a family that defines their life recognizes a part of themself and decides to move on despite the setbacks.

However, there is. A lot more to their stories. And a lot more differences that directly contrast the two in a way that would make them serve as proper narrative parallels.

Don Quixote's dehumanization comes from outside of her familial circle. Hong Lu's dehumanization comes from inside his family.

Don Quixote's family has good intentions but either don't realize the harm they're causing or have no other choice. Hong Lu's family has bad intentions and simply don't care about the harm they're causing.

Don Quixote wished to stay with her family but was forced to leave. Hong Lu was forced to stay with his family but wished to leave.

Don Quixote abandoned her former identity in favor of continuing someone else's legacy. Hong Lu abandoned his former identity in favor of becoming a person that's completely fictional.

Don Quixote started off as someone who acted fully genuine but came out of her Canto deciding to wear a mask that lets her be happy. Hong Lu started off as someone who was a complete fraud but would come out of his Canto more genuine with himself as his mask only furthered his fatalism.

Don Quixote didn't know she was lying. Hong Lu knew and was doing so on purpose.

...I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The reiteration is the point. It's meant to highlight the similarities while contrasting the differences. That's generally how narrative parallels work.

[whereforarthur]

Brother’s Flatmate

Request: anything that starts angsty but ends fluffy PLS

Pairing: Arthur Hill x George’sSister!Reader

Category: Angst to Fluff

Word Count: 4.3k

*****

"Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess." – J.S. Park

In the bustling heart of London, where the Thames River curved its ancient path, there was a man named Arthur Hill. He was known to many as a charismatic YouTuber with a velvety singing voice, yet to his closest friend George, he was simply Arthur, the bloke who was always there for a pint and a laugh. Arthur's flat, a cozy sanctuary tucked above a quaint bookstore, reflected his unassuming nature—a blend of vintage furniture and the faint scent of dusty pages that spoke of quiet nights spent reading and recording his latest vlogs.

The flat was often filled with the sound of George's raucous laughter as the two friends bantered over cups of tea. However, the dynamic changed whenever George's sister, Y/N, was around. She was a sharp contrast to Arthur's laid-back demeanor—ambitious, driven, and often blunt to the point of discomfort. Her visits were met with a tension so palpable it could be sliced with a knife.

Today was no exception. The moment she barged in, Arthur felt the atmosphere shift. He set aside his camera, knowing that the evening's vlog would have to wait. Y/N's eyes narrowed as she assessed the cluttered room, a clear judgment of his lifestyle.

"It's not just a bit of mess," she retorted, her voice laced with frustration. "It's a health hazard. And it's not like you don't know how to clean up after yourself, Arthur."

The unspoken hostility between them was a constant thorn in George's side. He had no idea what had caused the rift, only that it had grown wider with each passing year. Arthur and Y/N had never seen eye to eye, and it was clear that their dislike for each other was deeply rooted.

"Look, I've had a long day," Arthur said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Could we not do this now?"

Y/N scoffed. "I'm just saying, if you want to be taken seriously as an influencer, you should start by taking your living conditions seriously."

The comment hit a nerve. Arthur's success had always been a sore spot for her, a constant reminder of her own unfulfilled aspirations. Her words stung, and he felt his temper begin to flare.

"And what would you know about that?" he shot back. "You've never had to chase your dreams because you've always had everything handed to you on a silver platter."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her voice dangerously low.

Arthur took a deep breath, knowing he had crossed a line. "I didn't mean it like that," he said, trying to backpedal. But the damage was done.

"You don't get it," Arthur said, his voice tight. "You never have. You think because I make videos and sing songs, I don't have a clue about hard work?"

"I didn't say that," Y/N replied, her voice equally as tense. "I said you should take better care of yourself. This place is a mess, and it's a reflection of your priorities."

The accusation stung, and Arthur felt his cheeks heat up. He had always prided himself on his authenticity, his willingness to show his true self to his followers. Yet here she was, suggesting he was a fraud.

"You think I don't know what real work is?" he spat out, his eyes flashing. "You sit in your fancy office all day, sipping lattes and bossing people around, while I'm out here, trying to make a difference in the lives of my fans."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You're not curing cancer with your videos, Arthur."

The words hung in the air, a challenge that Arthur couldn't ignore. "At least I'm not living a lie," he retorted. "Pretending to be someone I'm not just to climb the corporate ladder."

Y/N's job was a sore subject for her, a constant battle against the expectations of their family's legacy. He opened his mouth to intervene, but she was already responding, her voice icy.

"You wouldn't know the first thing about hard work, Arthur," she said, her eyes glinting. "You play dress-up and make jokes for a living. It's easy to be liked when you're not actually doing anything of substance."

The words hit Arthur like a punch to the gut. He had always felt a little guilty about his chosen career path, especially compared to Y/N's high-flying corporate job. But he also knew that his content brought joy and comfort to millions. He clenched his fists, trying to keep his cool.

"You don't know anything about what I do," he said, his voice measured. "You think it's all fun and games, but there's a lot more to it than you see."

Y/N folded her arms, unmoved by his defense. "Oh, I know all about it," she said. "You sit here, making videos that people watch to forget their own lives, and you think that's meaningful?"

"It is to them," Arthur said, his voice rising. "It's more than you do, stuck in your ivory tower."

Y/N's eyes flashed. "At least I'm not living in a fantasy world," she snapped. "At least I'm not chasing after something that's never going to be more than a hobby."

"It's not a hobby," Arthur said, his voice strained. "It's my life."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "Your life? More like your escape," she said, her voice dripping with disdain. "You're afraid to face the real world, so you hide behind a screen and pretend you're important."

*****

Arthur's eyes widened, and for a moment, he just stared at her, the words cutting deep. He hated her—no, he didn't. He didn't hate her. It was something else, something more complicated. He hated the way she made him feel, the way she brought out his insecurities, the way she questioned his very existence. He hated that she could do that to him.

But he didn't hate her. She was George's sister, and George was his best mate. He couldn't hate her. Could he? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that what he felt was closer to fear. Fear that she might be right. Fear that he was just a glorified clown, dancing for the amusement of the masses.

He took a step towards her, his hands balled into fists. "You don't know anything about me," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "You think you're so much better, but you're just as lost as I am."

Y/N's expression didn't change, but something in her eyes flickered. For a moment, Arthur thought he saw a glimpse of vulnerability, a hint of doubt. But she quickly masked it with a sneer. "You're pathetic," she said. "You're wasting your life on this nonsense."

Arthur felt his heart racing, the blood pounding in his ears. He didn't hate her, not really. But her words stung because they echoed his own fears. He had always wondered if his career was just a facade, a way to avoid the responsibilities of adulthood. Yet here he was, standing up for what he believed in, for the community he had built, the fans who looked up to him.

"You're just jealous," he spat out, the anger giving him courage. "You're jealous that I found something I love, something that makes people happy."

Y/N's eyes narrowed. "You think you're so special," she said. "You're not. You're just a pretty face with a decent singing voice."

Arthur felt his anger boil over. "And you're just a cold-hearted bitch," he said, his voice shaking. "You don't know the first thing about love or passion."

Y/N's eyes went wide with shock at the venom in his words. For a moment, she looked as though she had been slapped. Then, she laughed—a bitter, harsh sound that rang through the flat. "Love and passion? Is that what you call it? A bunch of teenagers worshipping you?"

The room was a battleground, the air thick with animosity. The line between love and hate was paper-thin, and it was clear that they had both danced upon it for too long. Arthur's heart felt as though it was being squeezed in a vice, the weight of her accusations crushing him. Yet, amidst the anger, there was something else—a strange warmth that he couldn't quite explain. It was as if their shared disdain had kindled a spark of something more.

Y/N's eyes searched Arthur's, and for a fleeting moment, he saw a flicker of doubt in her gaze. The mask of superiority slipped, revealing a hint of the insecurity that lay beneath. She had always been the successful one, the one who had everything figured out, while he had stumbled into fame almost by accident. Yet here they were, both lost in their own ways.

"Shut up," Arthur murmured, the words barely audible. He didn't know if he was speaking to her or to the voice in his own head, the one that whispered doubt and fear.

Y/N took a step closer, her eyes flashing. "Make me," she challenged, her voice low and dangerous. The air between them crackled with tension.

Arthur's hand shot out, his fingertips brushing against her cheek. It was a gentle touch, a stark contrast to the harshness of their words. Y/N's eyes widened, and she took a sharp intake of breath, as though she hadn't expected the softness. For a second, they just stared at each other, the electricity between them palpable.

Then, before he could think better of it, Arthur leaned in and kissed her—harshly, desperately. He kissed her as if he was trying to prove a point, to show her that he was more than the sum of his YouTube views and singing talents. He kissed her as if he could erase the years of contempt with one fiery gesture.

Y/N's body stiffened, her eyes widening in shock, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she leaned into the kiss, her hands reaching up to tangle in his hair. It was a strange, intoxicating dance of anger and attraction that neither of them had seen coming. The heat between them grew, the air in the room thickening until it was almost suffocating.

*****

When they finally broke apart, both were breathless. Y/N's cheeks were flushed, her eyes dark with a mix of anger and something else—desire? Arthur couldn't tell. He felt as though he was drowning in confusion, his chest tight with emotion.

"I hate you," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. But the way she said it, the way her breath hitched, told him she didn't mean it. Not entirely.

Arthur's chest tightened. "No, you don't," he said, his voice low and intense. "You're just scared."

Y/N's eyes searched his, a storm of emotions raging within them. "Scared of what?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Scared of admitting that maybe, just maybe, we're not so different after all," Arthur said, his voice low and earnest. "Scared of what this could be."

Y/N stared at him, her eyes searched his, looking for a sign that he was joking, that this was all some twisted ploy. But Arthur's gaze was unwavering, his expression raw and vulnerable. The truth of his words hit her like a tidal wave, and she felt the walls she had built around her heart begin to crumble.

"We're nothing alike," she whispered, her voice shaking. But even as she said it, she knew it was a lie. They were both chasing their own versions of success, their own ways of making an impact on the world.

Arthur stepped closer, his hand still resting on her cheek. "We're more alike than you think," he said softly. "We both want to be seen, to be heard, to matter."

Y/N's breath hitched. She didn't hate him, not really. But she had spent so long pushing him away, hiding behind her sarcasm and scorn, because the alternative was too terrifying to consider. If she let him in, if she allowed herself to care, she might just get her heart broken. And she had been down that road before—she wasn't sure she could handle it again.

"I don't do feelings," she said, her voice a feeble attempt at the armor she had worn for so long. But Arthur's hand remained on her cheek, his thumb tracing gentle circles that seemed to be unraveling her very soul.

"Well, you're doing a bloody good job of hiding them," Arthur said with a sad smile. "But I can see right through you, Y/N. And I think it's about time we both faced them."

Her eyes searched his, looking for any sign of a bluff. But all she found was honesty, a stark contrast to the barbed words they had exchanged just moments ago. Slowly, she reached up and placed her hand over his, her touch tentative yet filled with a spark of hope. "What are you saying, Arthur?"

He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words before speaking them. "I'm saying that maybe, just maybe, we should stop fighting and start understanding each other." His thumb continued to caress her cheek, his gaze never leaving hers. "We're both just trying to find our place in this world, and maybe we could help each other do that."

Y/N's heart pounded in her chest, the walls she had built around herself feeling more fragile than ever. The idea of letting Arthur in, of admitting that she might need someone, was as terrifying as it was tempting. Yet, she couldn't deny the undeniable pull she felt towards him, the way his touch made her feel seen, understood.

"I don't know if I can do that," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I've spent so long pushing people away."

Arthur's eyes searched hers, filled with a gentle understanding that seemed to see right through her tough exterior. "I know," he said, his voice equally soft. "But maybe it's time to try something new."

The silence that fell between them was heavier than any of their previous barbs. Y/N felt the weight of his gaze, the warmth of his hand, and the sincerity of his words. It was a stark contrast to the chaos that usually surrounded their interactions, a gentle reminder that love could emerge from the most unlikely of places.

Her eyes searched his, looking for any hint of a lie or a hidden motive. But all she found was a mirror to her own confusion and yearning. Arthur was right—they were both lost in their own ways, but perhaps together they could navigate the tumultuous waters of life.

"Okay," she whispered, her voice shaky with uncertainty. "Okay, let's try."

Their kiss was not gentle this time, but it was not fueled by anger either. It was a kiss of understanding, of two souls colliding in the messiness of their shared existence. Arthur's arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, and she melted into him, her own arms snaking around his waist. It was as though they had been holding onto this moment for years, waiting for the perfect storm of words and emotions to bring it to the surface.

As they broke away, both panting, they stared at each other with a newfound appreciation. The hostility that had once dominated their interactions was now replaced with a strange, thrilling anticipation. They had both been hiding behind their own fears and insecurities, throwing jabs and insults to keep the other at bay. But in that one moment, they had found a common ground—the mess of their lives.

Arthur knew that real love didn't emerge from a perfect, pristine environment. It grew in the cracks of doubt and the weeds of imperfection. It was in the chaos of their shouting match that he had seen the real Y/N, the one who was just as lost and scared as he was. And in that chaos, he had found something beautiful—a spark of connection that was more real than any of the scripted moments in his videos.

They stood there, in the silence that followed the storm of their words, their hearts racing in unison. The tension between them had shifted, no longer a barrier but a bridge, a delicate yet solid connection that neither wanted to break. Y/N's eyes searched Arthur's, looking for confirmation that this was real, that she wasn't just imagining the tenderness in his gaze.

*****

"I'm sorry," Arthur murmured, his thumb still tracing circles on her cheek. "For everything."

Y/N nodded, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Me too," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I've been a bitch."

Arthur's hand slid down to her neck, his thumb brushing against the rapid pulse in her throat. "You've had your reasons," he said, his voice gentle. "But let's leave them behind now."

Y/N nodded, a single tear slipping down her cheek. "Okay," she whispered. "Let's start again."

Arthur wiped the tear away with his thumb, his eyes never leaving hers. "We don't have to start over," he said softly. "We just have to start… differently."

Y/N took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling against his chest. "Differently," she echoed, the word feeling strange and yet incredibly right on her tongue.

Arthur's gaze searched hers, his eyes filled with a warmth she hadn't seen before. It was as though he had just discovered a hidden treasure, something precious that had been buried beneath layers of anger and misunderstanding.

"I didn't know," he whispered, his voice filled with wonder. "I didn't know it could feel like this."

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes searched his, and she could see the realization dawning in his gaze—the raw, unfiltered understanding of what love truly meant. It was as if he had just stepped into the sunlight after years of darkness.

Arthur's eyes searched hers, the weight of his realization heavy in his gaze. It was a look that spoke of a thousand unsaid words, of moments of doubt and fear that had led them to this precipice. In that instant, she knew that he saw her—the real her, not the armored version she presented to the world. He saw the vulnerability she had worked so hard to hide, the softness that lay beneath the sharp edges of her sarcasm.

"Neither did I," she murmured, her voice shaky. She felt the warmth of his breath against her skin, the steady beat of his heart under her palm. The tension between them had transformed into something new, something that made her heart flutter in a way she had long ago convinced herself she was immune to.

They stood there, in the quiet aftermath of their confrontation, the air charged with the electricity of their newfound connection. It was strange, terrifying, and yet, somehow, it felt more real than anything she had ever experienced. For the first time in what felt like forever, Y/N allowed herself to hope that maybe, just maybe, she had found someone who truly understood her.

"We'll take it slow," Arthur said, his voice low and soothing. "We'll get to know each other without the baggage of what we've always thought we knew."

Y/N nodded, the tightness in her chest slowly easing. The idea of taking it slow was both comforting and exhilarating. She had always rushed into things, eager to prove herself, to conquer and claim. But with Arthur, she felt the need to be gentle, to tiptoe around the fragility of this newfound bond.

"Okay," she said, her voice a whisper. "We'll start tonight."

*****

They decided to order takeout, a simple meal of fish and chips from the chippy down the street. As they waited, Arthur suggested they watch one of his videos together, one that had a special meaning to him. Y/N agreed, her curiosity piqued.

The video was of Arthur singing a cover of an obscure indie song, the melody haunting and beautiful. As he watched her reaction, he explained how the lyrics had resonated with him during a particularly tough time in his life, how the words had given him the courage to keep going. Y/N listened, her eyes never leaving the screen, and for the first time, she saw the depth of his passion, the raw emotion that fueled his art.

When the video ended, she turned to him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I had no idea," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I never knew you felt like that."

Arthur took her hand, his thumb tracing comforting circles on her skin. "There's a lot you don't know about me," he said, his voice gentle. "And I want to show you."

The night stretched out before them, a canvas of unexplored possibilities. They talked, shared stories, and laughed—the kind of laughter that washed away the years of tension and left them feeling lighter, freer. It was a tentative start, a delicate dance of opening up to each other.

As they sat there, on the couch in Arthur's cluttered flat, surrounded by the detritus of his life, Y/N felt something within her shift. It was as though she had been holding her breath for years, and now, finally, she could exhale.

The kiss that followed was not driven by anger or spite. It was born of a newfound respect, a tentative curiosity that grew into a blaze of passion. Their lips met, and it was as though all the words they had left unsaid were finally finding their voice.

When they parted, Y/N's heart was racing, her cheeks flushed. She looked into Arthur's eyes and saw the same wonder reflected in his gaze. They had crossed a line, stepped into a place neither had dared to tread before.

"I don't know what this is," she murmured, her voice husky.

Arthur leaned in, his forehead resting against hers. "Neither do I," he said. "But I know I don't want to let it go."

And so, with the soft glow of the streetlights filtering through the window, they embraced the uncertainty, the thrill of the unknown. They had found something in each other that was more than just friendship or rivalry. It was a connection that defied logic, a bond forged in the fires of their shared pain and doubt.

As they sat there, holding each other tightly, Y/N felt the first stirrings of a love that had been buried beneath layers of contempt. It was a love that had been waiting for the right moment to emerge, a love that was as real and as raw as the music that filled Arthur's soul.

The future was uncertain, fraught with the potential for either heartbreak or a love that could surpass their wildest dreams. Yet, in that moment, all that mattered was the here and now. They decided to take it one day at a time, to build their relationship on a foundation of honesty and mutual respect.

The weeks that followed were filled with tentative smiles and gentle touches, as they both learned to navigate the new waters of their blossoming relationship. Y/N began to see Arthur not just as George's friend, but as a complex individual with his own fears and aspirations. She admired his dedication to his craft and the way he connected with his fans, bringing joy to the lives of so many.

Arthur, in turn, discovered the strength and resilience behind Y/N's sharp exterior. He saw the passion she brought to her work, the way she fought for what she believed in, even when the odds were stacked against her. Her ambition was no longer a source of irritation but a quality he found himself drawn to, a reminder that there was more to life than just his own small corner of the internet.

*****

Their first date was a simple walk along the South Bank, the Thames reflecting the soft glow of the setting sun. They talked about their hopes, their fears, and the moments that had shaped them into the people they were today. The conversation flowed as easily as the river beside them, and with each step, they grew closer.

Holding hands, they stumbled upon a small jazz club, the music spilling out onto the cobbled streets. Arthur looked at Y/N, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Dance with me?" he asked, leading her inside.

The intimate venue was crowded, but they found a spot near the stage. As the music swelled around them, they swayed together, lost in the rhythm and the warmth of their bodies. Y/N felt a sense of belonging she hadn't experienced in a long time, as though she had finally found a place where she truly fit.

Their relationship grew steadily, each moment revealing a new facet of the other. They discovered shared interests, like a love for obscure British sitcoms and a passion for long, meandering conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning. The flat that had once been a battleground of snark and sarcasm now echoed with laughter and whispered secrets.

Yet, as much as they enjoyed their time together, the specter of their past remained. George, caught in the middle, watched with a mix of bewilderment and happiness as his sister and best friend grew closer. He knew the history of their animosity, the depth of the scars that still lingered beneath the surface.

One evening, as the three of them sat around Arthur's kitchen table, the tension grew thick. Y/N reached for Arthur's hand under the table, a silent plea for support. He squeezed it gently, a reminder that they were in this together.

"Look," Arthur said, breaking the silence. "We've all said things we regret. But we're trying to move forward. Can't we just… be happy for each other?"

George studied them, his expression unreadable. Then, with a sigh, he leaned back in his chair. "I just want you two to be happy," he said. "But don't expect me to understand it."

Y/N and Arthur shared a look, a silent promise to navigate this new chapter with care. It was a step forward, a small but significant one. They knew they had a long way to go, but for now, they were content to simply enjoy the dance they had found themselves in.

*****

Taglist~

@gvf23 @xxkatxgracexx @pookietv

[wotay27166]

Goodbye Sparklecare.

This will be my final post for actual for real this time.

What can I say that hasn't been said already? I've done my part. I've learnt everything that I needed. It's not the complete sense of closure I'd want but I don't think that's something I can get. I have to accept that. This has all been an incredibly painful past 2 days for me.

In a way, I grew up alongside Sparklecare. I was a minor when I was there during the preboot days, and now I'm an adult with an income. An income that I used in part to support Kittycorn for 2 years. Kittycorn's work was formative to me as an artist and a writer. I related to a lot of the characters and the plots because I too was a traumatized mentally ill/disordered person who had suffered at the hands of both a society and a medical system that did not treat me with dignity.

8 years of my life this comic was a part of.

Everyone has already said everything about Kittycorn the person, her actions, and her predatory associates so I'd like to talk about something else.

Sparklecare as a piece of art

...and how it just speaks to the lack of true artistry that everything about it ceases to hold up entirely once you know the Real Intent.

Because it's insincere.

If you essentially have to deceive your audience to get them to care, you have failed. If you're going to pull deception on your audience it has to be intentional to the experience. You can have stories that are fucked up, transgressive, and taboo succeeding in being fantastic stories in spite of those things as they wear their heart on their sleeve, genuine in what they want to convey. Sparklecare and all its surrounding media is none of that when Kittycorn put on a fake safe persona with a fetish mining work full of dog whistles and falsehoods.

When you set a standard for what your work is and what to expect, it is a MASSIVE 'Fuck you' to your audience to go against what you supposedly stood for the entire time otherwise. I guess a kind of similar example I can bring up is exactly why people hate the ending of Bunny Drop so much. It goes beyond the incest as a presence, it's more about the betrayal of expectation I'd say. It forces you to retroactively look at everything differently and it just ruins it entirely. Every single familial interaction in Cometcare is now impossible to see as just wholesome familial bonding, it's all warped to hell and back right down to the extended lore and themes. The very existence of 'secret canon' or whatever excuse tampers the whole. If it was like a fan-made thing it'd be like whatever, but this is the actual creator - this is a part of her vision. Right from the source.

But even once you realize this, it still doesn't work because it feels unnatural like what is actually wanting to be said/done is being held back. So you're stuck in this awful middle ground of a horrific realization.

The point is, people who aren't upfront about this sort of shit will never make good art that's worth remembering. In a few years no one will give a fuck about this comic outside of its controversy. That is the legacy one leads through insincerity. Even if it does remain it will never again reach the height or momentum it once did.

If you really want to really 'do whatever you want forever', you have to do it with honesty. You can't hedge around it or downplay what you actually want to do. All you will do is build yourself a mounting wall of expectations you know you will never meet because it's all a lie. For all Kittycorn saying in the past she never wanted it to be popular or get the attention it did... she kept pandering to the popular instead of doing what she actually wanted to do, and that's make a fucked up incest comic. It's because the allure of material reward of a large safe fandom that gives you fanart, recognition, and money is rewarding rather than making something real.

That hypothetical fucked up incest magnum opus, I wouldn't be apart of that audience nor would a lot of people in the current Sparklecare fandom. It is an alienating thing to create just purely based on what it is and if that's the 'whatever you want' to make 'forever', it is something one must accept. It also takes a lot of skill to make a work that an audience that otherwise would never engage with something like that to still enjoy/see the merits of it in terms of a piece of art/story. Good writers are perverts, but not all perverts are good writers. If you're not putting your entire ass in everything, the ass crack will show. As an artist who willingly puts their art out into the world and curates a specific audience and tone with their work... how she did not expect any of it to backfire is beyond me.

With an art and writing style that lends itself to a more juvenile audience with how very 'teaching a lesson' focused things are (even the incest comics are like this) it does not naturally lend itself to nuanced discussion nor the sea of depth in terms of character complexity. Sure the characters are multi faceted, but their actions are very black and white with the creator very not open to alternative interpretations that she cannot control within the audience to the point of distress (see people having a problem with Doom in a relationship with former patients he inadvertently aided in torturing by being complicit in the system that enabled it, for example). Even if it turns out if, for example, Sly is supposed to be seen as victim of her own illness (OCD acting on intrusive thoughts) it doesn't magically alleviate her of the actions portrayed nor disgust overshadowing sympathy. There is nothing Kittycorn can do to repair the reputation of this character within her art.

She is still calling the rampant incest canon just a comfort thing and thinks that being like 'umm all the canons are separate it's all AUs' changes intent and mindset in any way. You can't magically just switch off part of your brain when working on certain things - that's not how it works. It's not even like I can't fathom or understand where the coping comes from - a world where what if this awful thing that happened to me wasn't awful and I can reframe it in a positive way for myself so the abuse I endured hurts less. What if the codependent trauma bond meant so much more than a vessel of having power over someone in a life devoid of it? Potentially, a work like that could be quite profound because incest as both a moral dilemma and as a form of abuse, there is no easy 'out' when dealing with it. Themes of generational trauma, legacy, power, sexism, desperation...

--

EDIT: Okay never mind, that entire last three paragraphs before this one was written before the giant ass Sly x Eve defense and... no one is misrepresenting anything. It turns out it is full on incest romanticization in the most literal way. Incest true love. There's no nuance here whatsoever. Which, damn, I... I guess I'm truly speechless here. I was expecting like ANYTHING I guess but it's just... NOTHING...? I feel like an idiot. Fell for it again award received by me!!

I would like to formally apologize to the Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I didn't give you enough credit.

8 fucking years I invested into this shitty fucking comic and it turns out I was reading way WAY too deeply into EVERYHTING. FOR YEARS. Sparklecare was only good because I autistically indulged and overanalyzed everything into thinking there was more here being said and presented than it ever actually was.

I need to sit down.

--

But the key to that is sincerity.

Which is what Kittycorn lacks. It extends beyond her art as even her 'apology' posts are insincere. I don't think Kittycorn understands that no amount of 'actually you are supposed to interpret it like this' will change people's perception purely because of the sensitive nature of the topic at hand. You can be a big massive pervert with big massive pervert parts in you story and it could potentially have merit as art, but it has to be sincere all the way through. You can take perverse to mean purposefully contrarian or sexually taboo- either way I feel it applies. If you can't even be honest about the sorts of people you hang around with nor the way you approach your very public persona...

How can anyone trust a word you say? When all you've done so far is lie? At what point does the audience stop accepting the 'Fell for it again' award?

Why should anyone view your art as anything but a farce?

Anyway, that's my ramble about art.

Wotay27166 signing off for the last time, peace ✌️

[forsaken-headcanons]

"YOU CAN'T ON FROM LOVE, LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT NEVER DIES" - Kelley Lynn

It's more like an AU after what happens after

Post-forsaken [John doe and C00lkid tragically dies]

Jane doe

• Would distract herself with various works to not think about her loss

• Would really avoid talking about John doe as she assumes nobody will either really listen to her or care

• ^^She would try to isolate and distance herself due to this belief and not wanting to need to experience this all over again

• She tries to avoid places, items, or just anything that gives her the memories of her beloved late husband

• ^places like John's workshop (where i hc he likes to build and try stuff with the access of builderman's tools as an act of hobby, and he used to build various things for her)

• In mid- forsaken, she saw her husband die in front of her with their final goodbyes because the spectre decided John is useless and made his corruption worse

• She is quite jumpy and a bit aggressive due to forsaken and the trauma developed

• The common saying "get over it" affects someone a lot and makes them wonder if their love (both platonic and romantic) for somebody is in an expiry date, this ultimately drives Jane to avoid this very grief she needs to process

007n7 [no way i am letting this man slide without at least a sprinkle of this]

• Previous (very first headcanon of mine): He lost c00lkid pre-forsaken

• C00lkid was revived unnatural by the spectre like a zombie, hence his sunken fleshy appreance and how the minions spawn from the ground like zombies do in movies

• When he first saw c00lkid like this, he had a panic attack due to his developed ptsd from child loss and depression

• Shedletsky saw this and told 007n7 to 'snap out of it' and slapped his face (something you SHOULDN'T do when someone is having a panic attack!!)

• At the end of the round, 007n7 survived the round as a lms luckily, and when Elliot saw 007n7 still being put off by the whole "run or be killed" idea and is in the verge of crying or having a breakdown, he couldn't help but be an mean to him. He tries to hide this inefficiently with the quote "Get over it." [Elliot don't understand nor remember what he was thinking in that moment and feels guilty afterwards knowing that quote is anythingbut helpful]

• The last time 007n7 sees c00lkid is in his arms, in the position he used to cradle him as a pill baby, on the ground, on his kness, with tears rolling down his eyes, and singing one last lullaby to his poor little baby boy.

• This time, though, he handles the grief better. Even if his whole purpose of living isn't here anymore, that boy wouldn't be lost if he kept his legacy with the team C00lkid

• He experienced this exact same grief over again. While the pain isn't any lighter this time, he knows he needs to let himself grieve over his kid and the methods that help him. It's not easy, but it won't be easier to hold onto that either

• [No, he doesn't start exploiting again under the name of c00lkid, but instead with his coding skills he starts a small website that grows big for not only parents but also a friend, a child or a spouse grieve over their loved one anonymously and support] eachother (may be a bit cliché idea, but he would def start something under the name of team c00lkid to honour his son and bring out the joy his son brought to him to the world... with hacking 101)

Jane and 7n7: (These are all meant to be platonic)

• 7n7 would definitely help Jane to process her loss of John doe better, as they are in the same boat, and 7n7 knows how lonely it can be when losing a beloved one and being a somewhat outcast due to them being a killer

• He would ask Jane how her husband was pre-forsaken and what she loved about him and try to talk it little by little

• They would visit John doe's grave together, Jane would first hesitate as she can't bring herself to go there, but with support beside her she faces the ugly, sad, and depressing emotions while also feeling a bit of relief in her heart

• She later holds dearly to things John has crafted for her and preserve them neatly as pride for her lovely husband and displays them in their home

•[ She'd help 007n7 with the website and later on expanding it to a non-profit organisation to help others go over their grief. With one of John's work with the roblox logo as the main logo and a slogan of "team c00lkidd! Join today!"]

Thank you for listening to my yap session

🔫🐟

Aww. I like that they help each other get through it. That's adorable.

[princess-glassred]

IT au where all the boys' parents force them to compete in a stupid male beauty pageant cause they think it'll be cute but it just gets weirdly intense and competitive for no reason 😭.

Canal days has had the derry prince and princesses pageant since 1929 and has since continued this proud tradition with no signs of ever stopping it's grand wholesome legacy... even if they had that explosion that killed all those contestants that one year.... and that one year where the judge kidnapped both the winners and killed them in a basement... and the other year where the Derry princess got pigs blood dropped all over her. Okay, so maybe the pageant has a gorey history, but it's still a fun way to get kids involved in the community, and the winner gets to be in tv commercials, and on posters around town, and they win six hundred dollars in assorted gift cards!

Ben surprisingly is one of the few boys who wanted actually wanted to be in the pageant. His mom won miss Texas and she's always seemed sad that ben wasn't born a girl so she couldn't enter him in toddler pageants. He thinks that by participating in this he could make his mom happy, and he also thinks it could just be kind of cool to have someone more heavy set win a pageant.

Bill also did this of his own volition, but mostly just to get his parents to pay attention to him. He really just wants his parents to be stunned he's doing something like this, maybe then they'd have more of a reaction to him than just blank stares and vague praise.

Poor Eddie was doomed the moment he was old enough to participate in that stupid contest. Sonia's lil angel is the miss america of cute boys after all, and wouldn't it be just so precious to see him preforming up there in a little hand sewn outfit?

Mike's dad first suggested he try to be Derry days prince as just a joke, but the more he brought it up the more mike seemed surprisingly receptive to the idea. William also realized that given all the small town publicity Derry prince brings (like the aformentioned local commercials), it might be good for business to get mike on the stage. Plus... william is a very good farmer and a fairly well liked man in spite of how racist derry can be. Maybe he can pull a few strings, although he doubts mike needs nepotism and connections to win. Just look at that winning smile.

Richie absolutely does not want to do this. The only reason he's here is because wentworth signed him out up with out asking. He just thought "what? You get to preform, you love to preform!". He is right about that, but just because he likes to preform does NOT mean he wants to get on a stage in a silly outfit and do impressions for all the hicks in this town. He doesn't even get what the big deal is, what are you even becoming a prince of? A hotbed for drunks and burnouts? A bunch of endless fields full of cowshit? Buildings with missing posters covering their windows? Seriously, it's nothing to get hyped over. He does like the prospect of money though.... and playfully teasing eddie about beating him.

Stanley was perfectly content to just sit back and watch the rest of the guys do this. His parents don't often force him to do embarrassing things, and they're not ones for pageantry. Unfortunately richie thought it would be funny to sign him up for it so they can all look ridiculous together. Stan's doesn't even care enough to get super mad about it though, he's just pissed it made his parents super confused. They were like "since when does stanley like to get on stage? Is this his way of rebelling against us". Ugh.

Henry Bowers was also very happy to just sit around and call all the guys gay for this, until Butch caught wind of william hanlon entering mike with the hopes it'll boost business and he just HAD to beat him. Now butch and william are going full pageant mom over their kids and it's real embarrassing. All of henry's freinds rag on him about it and he too acts all "guys i swear i'm not into it, it sucks" but deep down he's having fun. He may not like being fancy but he sure does like being a winner. He cannot deny it would be wonderful to beat all the losers at something. Besides, this is the most time his fathers paid attention to him in... well ever. He doesn't even buy him christmas presents usually, but he bought him a suit (it came from a funeral home right off of a dead guy, but hey), he got him tap shoes, he even took him to the dentist and got him some veneers! Don't get it twisted though, this is just to one up mike and william, not because he loves henry.

Bev just kind of watches this all happen mildly amused, she doesn't wanna enter the derry days princess competition (she thinks its dumb and a little archiac and competing against greta keene sounds like a very strange form of torture. She's gonna win no matter what, she always does.), and her dad wouldn't let her even if she did. Mr. Marsh doesn't want bev to get gawked at by a bunch of dudes snd let her flaunt off her body. It doesn't matter how innocous derry days is, he hears the term pageant and immediately thinks it's just preteens in bikinis.

She gets a good laugh out of how high strung all her friends are about it. She makes a lot of quips about everyone being future miss USA and going to regionals. It's all very silly.

The talent portion of the competition is as humiliating as it is strange.

Mike plays his stupid trombone from the book and he's not even very good at it. Bill and georgie do an """adorable""" brotherly comedy act his parents made him do. Eddie is forced to do a monolouge of a poem sonia wrote for him how about how much he adores his mother, while dressed like he's 30 years older than he really is cause sonia thinks it's so cute when he looks like a tiny adult. Stan brings out a bird on stage and basically just prattles off bird facts for ten minutes. Ben plays the water glasses and he has to repeatedly remind his friends not to drink his talent before he goes on stage. Richie does dogshit comedy stand up in a suit that looks like it would give you hay fever from the pattern alone. Henry does a strange pig call/obstacle course thing with his pet pigs bip and bop while dressed in a ridiculous cowboy costume with banjo music in the background. He's actually pretty good at it, good enough that bill suggests to stan that they pruposefully throw the contest and let henry win since the only people who care about winning is ben and mike. Stan says he'd rather die than see Henry bowers win anything ever, at least not if he lived to gloat about it afterwards.

As if things couldn't get any weirder, there's a couple city slickers here to write about the culture of derrytownship for some kind of thesis or expose- honestly nobody is quite sure. But they interview each of the prince/princess contestants to give some insight into the whole process. Lots of candid interviews, stories about growing up in derry, and in henry's case- very flagrant trauma dumping disguised as trash talk.

If you're curious how everyone placed after, Ben ended up winning, Mike was runner up, Henry was third runner up, and Richie came dead last. This caused a massive chaotic fight to break out, spurred by henry trying to tackle Ben and take his crown, sonia, william, and Butch getting into a classic pageant mom fight, and all of this culminating in henry tumbling off the stage and breaking his nose.

Yeah, the derry prince and princess pageant just kinda turned into one big old mess at the end.

But hey, at least no one died this time.

[crownmemes]

Period Drama Inspired Sentences

(Sentences that feel they could have come straight out of a period drama. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I was given to understand that you required a valet."

"I hope we shall become friends."

"You are being very facetious this evening!"

"Well, I thought I knew everyone at my ball, but it appears not!"

"I will not be spoken to this way!"

"My father is very influential."

"I'm tired of being so coy and so polite."

"What would possess you to do something so foolish?"

"Marriage is indeed a manoeuvring business."

"Actually, my father is a rather important man."

"Stand up straight! Is that the way they teach you to stand nowadays?"

"In society, one must learn to conform."

"I look like a harlot in this."

"Is there not enough tension in this house already?"

"Every time I have given my heart, it has led to catastrophe."

"Pass me your revolver. I have a sudden need to use it."

"Our traditions define us."

"May I have this dance?"

"You don't care about your family's legacy?"

"I fear she does not know her place."

"You are dangerously close to impertinence."

"You wouldn't talk to me like this if I were a man."

"I say, you do have a heart!"

"I have been invited to a grand occasion tonight. The invitation is for two, and I thought you might be able to accompany me?"

"Has my allegiance not been proved?"

"I don't believe we've been formally introduced?"

"I have no intention of repenting."

"I will do my duty, and nothing more."

"My dear, you shall break so many hearts."

"My books have been my only true companion since childhood."

"Don't think I can't look into your wretched black heart and see the machinations laid bare!"

"You shame us all. You shame the family name."

"Will anyone be spared your ire tonight?"

"Will your servant still be up to look after you?"

"I didn't think you were the type of gentleman to appreciate poetry."

"You seem to be a woman who understands why submission to another would be intolerable."

"Why must you always denigrate my work?"

[chimuelo2005-blog]

More yapping about Jayce and his relationship with Viktor and Mel cause why not?

One of the most interesting things about Jayce’s character arc is how Mel and Viktor act as these two opposing forces in his life; both guiding him, both shaping him, but in very different ways. Mel represents power, ambition, legacy, the political weight of Hextech and everything it could be. Viktor represents innovation, raw intellect, and the heart of why Hextech even exists in the first place. Jayce is caught between them, constantly being pulled in two directions.

Mel teaches Jayce how to navigate Piltover, how to gain and control his power instead of letting it control him. She gives him the tools to actually use Hextech as more than just an invention— turn it into something that changes the world. Without her, he never would’ve made it onto the council, never would’ve learned how to play politics, never would’ve become the leader Piltover needed. But at the end of the day? Jayce was never truly Mel’s.

Because no matter how much Mel shapes him, no matter how much power she hands him, Jayce’s first and strongest connection is always Viktor. His first choice is always Viktor. Viktor is the reason Hextech exists. Viktor is the reason Jayce even believes in progress in the first place. And you see it in the way Jayce prioritizes him over and over again.

Mel offers Jayce power, and yeah, he takes it—but he hesitates. He falters. With Viktor? There’s no hesitation. Jayce is willing to risk everything for Viktor in a way he never does for Mel. Like, when Viktor starts slipping away, Jayce drops everything. He stops caring about politics, about his reputation, about the carefully constructed path Mel laid out for him. The second Viktor needs him, that’s it. He’s done playing the game. He’s ready to throw away everything if it means saving him. Mel is an influence in his life. Viktor is his foundation.

And what’s really sad about all of this is that Mel knows. She sees it. She knows that at the end of the day, she’s teaching Jayce how to be powerful, but Viktor is the one who actually owns his heart. She sees how quickly Jayce pulls away from her when Viktor starts getting worse, how his priorities shift without a second thought. She spent the entire second part of the show shaping Jayce into a leader, a politician, a visionary—but the second Viktor is in danger, Jayce doesn’t care about any of that. He only cares about him.

Mel may have given Jayce power, but Viktor is the only person he was ever willing to lose that power for. Mel was the one who taught Jayce how to build an empire. But Viktor? Viktor is the one thing that could make him burn it all down.

And that says everything about Jayce.

I've seen some people in the reblogs make good points I missed while making the post, so I'll add them here.

This post is about jayce's perception or what I think his perception is based on his actions. Once said that: No, Mel is not the black girlfriend, that's a huge disrespect of her character, she's a powerful, intelligent woman with complexities and flaws that go far beyond some guy.

I agree that Jayce loved Mel, to a certain point. His favoritism towards Viktor is not even conscious most of the time. He obviously loved and cared for her, if he didn't they wouldn't have been together. My point is that he loved her in a way that would never be matched to the way he loves Viktor, and that's ok. They are two separate people, it's obvious Jayce won't love them the same.

While writing the script, I believe the writers made their relationship to put Jayce between a rock and a hard place at times. Mel is progress, she's powerful, beautiful, kind, She symbolizes everything Jayce wants to achieve (talking about her symbolism in jayce's character, not her own character) . Viktor is his foundation, he's beginning, he's the constant in his life even before he knew it. That's what I mean by saying Jayce was never fully Mel's.

I agree that as a fandom we don't talk enough about characters individually, but I firmly believe that there are characters that you need to talk about while talking about others. You cannot really talk deeply about Mel without talking about her mom, her brother and so on.

I love my girl Mel and I will yap about her soon because she's just too pretty and interesting not to.

[barrenclan]

Tumblr deleted this ask FOUR TIMES and then gave me hell for trying to send it but we stay silly <3 Anyway, I think there's a wonderful irony in Plumstripe taking on a she-cat as a mate. One major angle of her and Beeface's conflict was around their apprentices and how those apprentices reflected on them by how well they upheld Barrenclan's legacy. Beeface lorded Daffodilcloud's willingness to take on a mate over Plumstripe, straight up boasting about how Daffodil was definitely totally going to get with Cormorantleaf to her sister (no matter how much the pressure to preform was impacting Daff.) Asphodelshine ended up projecting her reluctance and strife around having kits onto Pinewing, which strained their relationship further than it already had been (creating a similar combative relationship the sisters themselves had.) So much pain the Barrenclan apprentices went through was because of their identities and wants conflicting with the wider Barrenclan's culture and the expectations put upon them, and Plumstripe and Beeface were all too willing to comply with those expectations. Because expectations means there can be winners and there can be losers, and if training under Dustfeather and Doestep taught them anything, it's that it's better to win than to face punishment, social or otherwise! Like sheesh, the kind of environment that the sisters trained under implied by the comic would breed toxic insecurity and competitiveness in anyone, I think. It's also far easier to direct that kind of frustration at your peers than it is your superiors. Being literally pitted against each other probably didn't help! If things had played out differently, I think Beeface at the time would have made a stink about Cormorantleaf and Pinewing's relationship. Because that would mean HER apprentice wouldn't be able to gain the favor of the clan by getting with Corm, thus "winning" this particular "contest" of who's apprentice gets to have kits with the new tom. I think Plumstripe would have tried to talk Asphodelshine out of her feelings, because Asphodelshine not taking on a mate would make HER look bad, and she can't afford that.

And then Plumstripe gets with a she-cat. Not that Barrenclan was against same-sex relationships, of course, but with the kind of expectations Barrenclan put on cats, I don't think Plumstripe would've even dreamed of having a relationship like this before. I feel like if circumstances had been more favorable for Barrenclan, she would have picked the "best" mate, whatever that means. She would have tried to hit the milestone of having kits as fast as possible, just to feel superior (secure) to Beeface. This is to say she would have whether or not she wanted kits in the first place, and she might not have judging by how her epilogue ends with Eberhart (No mention of kits! Maybe it's something she's never really cared about. I dunno, that's just pure speculation on my part.) And that's the irony to me! Asphodelshine was tormented by this expectation to have kits, to have a certain kind of relationship, a mate, to uphold Barrenclan's legacy, pushed on her by Plumstripe and her stupid rivalry with Beeface. And it's Plumstripe who also being quietly choked by the expectations of Barrenclan. It's Plumstripe, who would have never approved of anything but the "best" relationship for her apprentice, who suddenly finds herself in (by the standards of her culture) a non-traditional romance. A relationship that would have never been 100% approved of by the cultural expectations she herself upheld. Eberhart coming into Plumstripe's life is kind of revolutionary for her, I think. Eberhart is a freedom that she didn't know she was being deprived of too. Suddenly, she's feeling even some of the feelings Asphodelshine felt back then, if not for the same reasons. Rightness. Security. Near serenity if you'll let me be poetic. I think it's really important that it was Plumstripe who gets a relationship with Eberhart in particular (and it makes sense that her more stoic but secretly inconfident personality jives better with Eberhart's, compared to Beeface's more brazen one!)

Similarly, I think it's important that Beeface is the one that doesn't get a mate. She was, as mentioned, the one who had been "winning" when it came to this particular battle before everything happened. The ball was in her court, and she finally, finally chose to not fire back. I dunno, I think it just goes to show how toxic the culture in Barrenclan really was, and how even the perpetrators of it were suffering under it. The sisters are, of course, not owed forgiveness, but I dunno. It's really nice to me that they get a happy ending. I think about that one drawing you did on the first page of the epilogue, showing Dustfeather, Plumstripe, Beeface, Daffodilcloud, and Asphodelshine all in a vertical chain, one's suffering trickling down to the other. I think it just kinda perfectly encapsulates this whole situation. The cycle of abuse sucks for everyone in it, folks! It's nice to be able to see people growing past it, even if they were in the middle of the cycle rather than the beginning. Even after you fuck up and hurt someone irrecoverably, you still have to live the rest of your life. Realistically, all you can do is just move on. To live

Not related to anything above, but I also just really loved Epilogue #4, haha. I feel like I might as well talk about it while I'm here! And gosh, the Kittens and their conflicts mean so much to me??? Meadow's chronic pain (I don't have it myself but people I'm close to do) and overall theme of escapism from a life that doesn't make you happy even if it's not strictly bad!! Egret's story of guilt and learning to accept that it's okay to ease your own burdens!! Honey's optimism initially framed as naive being instead a desperate, hopeful coping mechanism, to try to live to survive!! And Sky's overwhelmingly, breathtakingly joyful self-discovery all conveyed in like three paragraphs!!! AUGH!!! I feel all of these things so much (including being transmasc) and it's just really meaningful to me to see it in a story like this. I feel like I've only known the Kittens for a day but if anything were to happen them I'd turn into bloods haha. I love them so so so

OH and I just want to say. I'm so extremely happy you kept Egret as visibly heavyset??? On top of everything else that Also means a whole lot to me and I'm so so happy to see it haha. Good fat character representation is still really rare so when I see it just makes my whole day. Everything about Epilogue #4 is just pure condensed joy for me and I just had had had to express it, haha

Wow, props to you for not giving up on this absolute essay after Tumblr axed it more than once. This is all very well-written and very much in line with what I intended for Beeface and Plumstripe's ending, I can't even add that much! Thanks so much for sending it in.

I'm also glad you liked Epilogue 4, I really enjoyed writing it!

[yannisdesk]

Why the Lack of a Verbal Apology May Make Sense from Caitlyn's Perspective

I do not approve of the writing decision of having Caitlyn not verbally apologize to Vi for hitting her, but I thought I'd look into why Caitlyn, as a character, wouldn't think it's completely necessary.

I am fully aware that I am a stone-throw away from getting "obsessed with Caitlyn" accusations and to that I say - she's an interesting character. Analyzing her tickles the brain.

This will not be a super technical post btw. More vibes + thoughts and observations, not a formal essay on the topic.

So, Caitlyn is a Kiramman, and this is an upper class family with a lot of prestige riding on its back. They're also a fairly stoic family, in that they do not wear their hearts on their sleaves. They've bought into "keeping up appearances" - hence why Cassandra and Tobias were not too happy with Caitlyn becoming an enforcer; it's a stereotypically "blue collar" job even if it is considered essential to "maintaining order" in Piltover (debatable). It's not at all unrealistic, imagine any rich and influential family that occupies the upper echelon of society - would they be psyched about their kid, and sole heir, becoming a beat cop? Probably not. While the Kiramman legacy includes being a financial provider for the enforcer department and altruistic pursuits, like creating the air ventilation system in Zaun, they're still prone to high levels of classism. Just look at how quickly they cut off communication with Jayce once, as Caitlyn puts it, his "name's no good now." The Kiramman family are long-time members of the Piltover Council and have immense political power, so they are not a cog in the machine, they share ownership of the machine with six other families.

Despite this, the Kirammans do love each other and will do things out of love. For example, Cassandra does stick up for Jayce initially during the council meeting and tries to vouch for his character. She also does not tell Caitlyn "I'm sorry. You're right, the council has been slacking when it comes to the Undercity. I'll schedule a meeting with them on what we can do." She just says "I'll schedule an audience. You and your crush friend can address the council yourselves. I suggest you prepare accordingly." She nods at Caitlyn to go after Vi after the council meetings fails, letting her know she approves of what they have going on (Mama Kiramman definitely knew her daughter had a thing for Vi). She also, after initially disagreeing, votes to give Zaun freedom, no doubt thinking about her daughter and what she'd tried to achieve a few days ago. That's just the type of family they are.

And Cassandra does this without really verbalizing it. She let's the action talk for her. Tobias seems to be the more physically affectionate parent. Caitlyn is an (un)happy-medium, in the first season she's more physical like Tobias, in the second she's more distant like Cassandra, which checks out as she's in mourning, so she could've ended up becoming even more clingy to those around her or what we get in the opposite: detachment.

But Caitlyn does embody some of her other in season 1, the build-up of her trading something she's associated closely with for Vi is present. In season 1 her gun is exchanged for Vi's medicine which saves her life.

So, what we can get from this is that the Kirammans are action-oriented. Tobias is action-oriented in physical affection, such as hugging his daughter and fixing her leg. Cassandra will perform duties that don't require physical affection, but will still show her remorse, love, and care regardless.

So, given that's the standard she's working with, it makes sense that Caitlyn wouldn't verbally apologize and instead just do something that she knows would mean a lot to Vi. It's what her mother would've done. It's how she's been conditioned to think about apologies: you atone through action. Caitlyn wouldn't automatically think that something as serious as this would require something verbal because simply put - she's probably never had to confront something this serious, and it's also not how she was raised.

And that's not even a false notion, it's just incomplete with the way it's interpreted, which is rooted in quite a bit of pride, because if you're "strictly action oriented" then you never have to actually admit you were ever in the wrong, you can just jump to doing something that will hopefully land you in the clear, and similar to how just saying "I'm sorry" simply won't cut it, in serious situations this won't either; there needs to be a balance and words and actions need to match, especially when it comes to an act of domestic violence.

As the age-old-saying goes: the hardest part is admitting you're in the wrong, but it's also very important. So, while I do think that Caitlyn freeing Jinx is definitely in-step with who she was already established as a character, an undoubtedly great gesture, and decision; I also think it would be interesting to see part of her development acknowledge that it's okay to both talk about it and be about it even when it's hard, and given that she gave Ekko good advice in season 1 and then went completely against it in season 2, it would certainly be appropriate.

[rachelzeglertruther]

Why You're Wrong About Rachel Zegler

This is a long post, but there's a lot of context missing from the Rachel Zegler "discourse" that I thought I could add with my history of watching this unfold from the beginning.

The Snow White Thing

You probably know this part. There's a curated video of Rachel going viral, framed to make her seem like she's never seen Snow White, she hates the story, she hates the character, she's ungrateful, and single-handedly ruined Disney's brand. The clips from these videos are not new— they were released nearly a year ago in September 2022 and nobody cared about them at the time. Why? Because all the full interviews she did that day at the Disney Exo in 2022 showed a young, charming woman who was excited and proud to be cast in an iconic role. The interviews were very well received and it was a non story. Now that it's been edited down and cut together in a malicious way, and the people sharing them are purposefully misquoting her, they've twisted the context. Normally, this would be a non controversy. Even if that video wasn't taken out of context and spliced together to make her seem like she hates the film, most people wouldn't care. The issue is the response to the video.

Let's get this out of the way: Rachel Zegler doesn't hate Snow White. She relayed that she was afraid of the forest scene as a child and didn't revisit it again until after she was cast in the role. She has since then watched it several times and has expressed for YEARS before that interview came out that she was incredibly honored and grateful to be playing such an iconic Disney princess. If you watch the full videos that those clips came from, this comes across immediately to anyone with their own mind. If you hate someone for being scared of something as a child, I don't know what to tell you. If the role was being given to the biggest Snow White fan, you would be correct that she doesn't deserve it. Unfortunately for you, this role requires talent and Rachel has the Golden Globe and critical acclaim from people who matter within the industry (her peers and critics).

You know who does hate their beloved characters in beloved franchises but the general public still applauds them? Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, and Robert Pattinson. They've all expressed outright contempt for the roles and the films they were part of, but nobody cared. People had fun with their quotes but they still respected them. Rachel said nothing even closely resembling their remarks, but she's being torn to shreds. Are we seeing a pattern here?

Rachel never said a single bad thing about the character or the animated film— she said that it was outdated and that set people over the edge, foaming at the mouth to have her burned at the stake. If you think it would be perfectly fine to have a movie about an abused 14 year old girl run away to play housemaid for a bunch of men, get kissed in her sleep/death by an adult man, and then wake up to fall into his arms in 2024, that's certainly a hot take. If you're against remakes, direct your ire at Disney. But if you truly think that plot would work with young girls today, you're the one who's out of touch. It would do far more harm than good to portray a young woman in that light.

She also never said that there was anything wrong with romance or love. She said that the new Snow White wasn't only dreaming of that. I can't stress enough that this wasn't her decision… she was describing the plot of the new film that was written by Greta Gerwig and approved by Disney. There's a prince in the film and he will also have a more developed personality and storyline. If you have a problem with the writing, wait until it comes out so you can write your strongly worded letter to Greta. If you have a problem with the concept in general, take it up with Disney. There's no need for you to be defensive over hurting the legacy of a multi-billion dollar company or a 87 year old cartoon written by a proud racist antisemite. This is the most confusing part of the hate campaign to me because it wasn't even her opinion— she was literally describing the plot of the film she had nothing to do with. It also isn't a new thing. Disney actors have been promoting their newer films this way for years.

It's perfectly okay to like things that are problematic. It's becoming an issue that we refuse to acknowledge that maybe some things we love are harmful. What we can't do is justify why it's not problematic, and in fact everyone who calls it out is the problem and NOT their precious cartoon. The 1937 Snow White was an amazing feat of animation. It's a classic for a reason. But it was also Hitler's favorite film and was directed by a white supremacist (the one who is "rolling in his grave" due to Rachel's existence, according to his son). Things don't exist in a vacuum and we can't ignore the bad parts.

How We Got Here:

The thing that everyone is missing is the source of this campaign. This started in September of 2020 when transphobic actor Gina Carano made fun of trans people by changing her pronouns to beep/bop.boop. Rachel indirectly called her out by coming to the defense of the trans community.

She never called out Gina by name (though she rightfully could have). Mind you, Rachel's first film hadn't come out yet. Nobody knew who she was outside of those of us who were anticipating West Side Story and were fans of her covers on YouTube. She was a "nobody" in the industry. Take this part with a grain of salt because I can't confirm it, but Gina and her fans directly blame Rachel for her being banned from Twitter. Again, I really don't think that matters as she's harmful to the trans community and shouldn't have a platform. What does matter is that fans of Gina (which, let's be real, are just fans of transphobia) have been stalking Rachel's every move since then. Unfortunately for them, there wasn't much they could use against her other than to call her woke and #snowbrown when she was cast a year later as the Disney princess. The noise has always been there, but unless you were a fan of hers, you probably didn't hear about it. It wasn't until two years after this that they had something else against her.

If you've recently seen a video of Rachel crying circulating that claims to be her reaction to the recent Snow White backlash, it's an old video. It's from a vlog from her youtube channel posted in June 2022. It was in response to these exact same transphobic anti-woke conservatives who thought that they had something when she did an interview on the red carpet of the Shazam premiere. When asked why she joined the DC universe, she responded "I needed a job." It was generally well received by most people who thought it was cute and funny, but those who were waiting in the shadows latched onto it as an excuse to send her death threats.

The video was also about a month after she was invited to present at the 2022 Oscars and was made to seem like she bullied the Academy (as a no name newcomer, mind you) into letting her attend. In reality, a fan left a comment on her Instagram asking what she was wearing to the event. She responded that she wasn't invited but would be rooting for everyone from her couch in her boyfriend's pajamas. It was the public who demanded she get an invite and the Oscar's must have agreed that it was very odd that the lead actress of a film that was nominated for Best Film wouldn't get an invite. Whether it was an oversight on their part or a scheduling issue with Rachel's filming, I truly think there was no malicious intent from either party. Keep in mind, she used to be very active with her fans (she's a huge fangirl of things herself and has always had a strong relationship with her fans) and she wasn't used to her comments becoming articles and national tv segments. This was the first time it happened to her. It appears she learned that she's not just a girl who posts on YouTube anymore and she's going to be put under a microscope for every move she makes. She has since shut down her Instagram comments and rarely interacts with fans outside of liking comments these days because of this.

I know this is long, but I need people to understand where this is all coming from. It didn't just happen out of nowhere. It's an orchestrated campaign built by violent conservatives, and thousands of women who saw Barbie this summer are hopping on the bandwagon to beat another woman into submission because they have a lot of internalized misogyny to deal with. She's not smug, you just hate women. It's okay to find people annoying, but it's valuable to look into why you think that. If you see a confident young woman expressing views that don't actually harm anyone and you think she needs to be "humbled" and "put in her place" by the entire internet dogpiling her, you've lost your mind. Using "body language experts" (fake job) to diagnose her as a psychopath is so vile. Everytime someone mentions her name online, the comments beneath it are full of the most violent, misogynistic, racist things I've ever seen. If you're contributing to that, you've chosen your side. Reevaluate or seek help.

I'm tired of seeing this happen to young women. We let this happen to Jennifer Lawrence, Brie Larson, Millie Bobby Brown, Halle Bailey, and Jenna Ortega. It's one thing to call out celebrities and hold them accountable when they're doing something actively harmful, but that's not what this is about. That's never been what this is about. We pick these girls to pieces and examine them and pull them apart to justify our hatred of young women who rise to success too quickly for our liking. We dogpile and try to stamp out the flame before they burn too bright. Barbie is still in theaters and you all loved it, yet you're demanding that a bright girl with a big future be small and submissive and humbled because you have issues. That's not feminism. You're just the girls who would have bullied Weird Barbie for using her hands too much when she talks.

[silvershadow1711]

Hi! I'm not good at English, so excuse me if something is misspelled. You see, I'm a BSH fan, and I almost always think about the game and especially about Ray. And reading your headcanons makes me very happy (I also read your fanfic; I'm your fan). I wanted to tell you about a little scenario that happened last night before going to sleep. I imagined a scenario in which MC escaped from Ray because she was pregnant with his child, but after a while MC died and Ray finally met his son there. What would Ray think of something like that?  (apart from the fact that I think Ray would know and would search for MC like crazy. I think), also another thing that I usually imagine a lot is that if Ray were to have children, they would be twins, a girl and a boy and I can't get out of my head that the girl would be some kind of Starlight and Soldier Boy (from the series The Boys), this is only in terms of powers, what do you think? I apologize again if it is poorly written or I saw myself too intense with my comment haha, it's just that I don't have many people to talk to about this game and the small Binary Star Hero fandom makes me happy ♡

Aww, it's sweet that you're a fan (and your English is fine). The BSH fandom is great, isn't it?

I don't think Ray would be at all happy about the scenario you outlined. I know the Binary Star after story makes it seem like "Ray" wants to be a dad, but ask yourself- why? Why in god's name would Ray want to have a kid?

To pass on his "legacy"? What legacy; abuse, manipulation and mental illness?

Because he just has so much love to give? He's got an outlet for that in the MC.

Logically, the only reasons Ray would want a kid would be to try and vicariously heal his own childhood trauma through them at best, or to use them as a prop in his happy fantasy at worse. And here's the thing- he definitely doesn't want to be a dad. If he wanted kids, he could easily go the Elon Musk route and find surrogates, or even adopt. He's Binary fucking Star- people would throw their kids at him. No, he wants to have a family. A happy, traditional family the way western media says it's supposed to be. Specifically with the MC. Without them, there's no point in a child.

Let's be real- Ray would resent that kid for the rest of his life. He might take care of him (better him than NAHA- he wouldn't wish them on his worst enemy) but he's ALWAYS going to think "It should have been you. You should have been the one who died. Not her."

OR he would twist his loathing into straight up manipulation. One of my favorite fics of all time had a father do that to his daughter, repeatedly telling her literally from the moment she was born:

"I love you. I love you, and so you will love me too. In spite of what you did, I love you. You killed your mother and I love you still. You are broken."

Can't you just picture Ray staring down at a child- his child- with those cold, dark eyes of his, saying that?

(Also, Starlight I know, but I only watched The Boys up to season 2, so I don't know Soldier Boy that well. I know he's Homelander's biological father, so I'm assuming they have a similar powerset?)