#and i don’t want to hear anything about it okay
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⸻ first date with hip hop unit
[ 🐚 ] where they would take their partner, what they would be like taking them out for the first time & what they would do to make them feel special
scoups
place: the aquarium
what they would do to make you feel special: is such an attentive listener and the way he keeps staring at you makes you blush so much (even if you usually don't blush, it's just the cheol effect) + at the end if the date you wonder if he paid even slight attention to the fish and whatnot (you could feel his stare on you for the whole time)
what they would be like taking you out: a shy mess, keeps ruffling his hair to occupy his hands with something (cuz he has to stop himself from grabbing your hand), the biggest gentleman out there
“oh, look at this one!” you pointed excitedly at one of the fishes that just swam by right in front of you. “it’s so pretty,” you cooed.
you took a few steps to follow the small fish, forgetting that you weren’t there alone for a moment, too mesmerised to focus on anything else. it was nice to feel like a little kid once again, not having to worry about anything other than pretty fish and the shimmering blue and pink lights that made the whole place look like straight from a fairytale.
“would it be corny if i said that you’re prettier?” suddenly, a deep voice pulled you out of your little bubble.
“are you comparing me to a fish?” you fake-gasped and turned around, meeting seungcheol’s brown eyes that held a mischievous look that you grew to love so much, even though you hadn’t known each other for that long.
his gentle laugh rippled through the air. “well, if you put it that way…”
you snickered and swatted his chest playfully. “i don’t think you’re supposed to say stuff like that on a first date, choi seungcheol.”
wonwoo
place: museum/ exhibition
what they would do to make you feel special: takes candid photos of you (the morning after the date you get a message with the photos and a text saying “that’s how i see you” )
what they would be like taking you out: so so nervous, stutters, doesn’t know what to do with his hands, feels like he’s going to die at least five times
“click”
you whipped your head around upon hearing the familiar sound, tearing your eyes from the painting after what felt like hours. but the exhibition wonwoo took you too was truly mesmerising, you had no idea how he found this place.
“if you wanted to take a picture you could’ve told me,” you said, taking a step to the side. “i would’ve moved.”
wonwoo lowered the camera, his hands slightly shaking, which in your eyes made him even more adorable than he already was. not to mention the fuzzy cardigan that made him look like the cuddliest teddy bear.
“no, it’s… i wanted to take a photo of the painting and… and you,” he said with a gentle softness in his voice, blending in with the quiet hustle of people around you.
“oh.”
mingyu
place: the funfair/ amusement park
what they would do to make you feel special: you know those games where you have to hit the targets to win the plushies or other stuffed animals? if you kept missing, gyu would miss as well, so you wouldn't feel like you were worse (he'd win once, though, because he'd really want to gift you a teddy bear)
what they would be like taking you out: tries his best to act cocky and smug but ends up tripping over his own feet, because he keeps staring at you too much
“i was so near, like one centimeter and i would’ve hit- oh my god, mingyu!” you exclaimed, stopping in your tracks.
the man next to you landed on the ground with a thump, face first and all, for the third time in the span of the last two hours.
“are you okay?” you gently placed the teddy bear your date had just gifted you on the ground, trying to keep it away from the dirt, and kneeled next to him.
“this is really embarrassing,” he mumbled, leaning his forehead against the pavement. “i swear i’m not usually like this.”
you shook your head, not really believing his words, because yes - maybe you didn’t know each other that well, but you’ve spent enough time together for you to know that kim mingyu was quite a clumsy person.
“why do you keep tripping all the time?” you laughed, helping him up and brushing the dirt away.
“you seriously don’t want to know,” mingyu answered, his face red as a tomato.
vernon
place: cinema + fast food place
what they would do to make you feel special: buys you a small bouquet of your favourite flowers (you mentioned liking them once in passing)
what they would be like taking you out: not much changes in vernon's behaviour, completely chill and vibin' (mostly due to the fact that he's in such denial that you actually agreed to go out with him that he truly believes he's dreaming)
you stared at the small bouquet vernon was holding in his hands.
“uh, those aren’t your favorite right?” he asked when you didn’t say anything, and you didn’t fail to catch the note of disappointment in his voice. “i just probably messed up the names of the flowers. sorr-,”
“how did you know these were my favourite?”
“well,” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “you said once and i remembered, and… yeah.”
“i mentioned it like once,” you said, still too shaken that he remembered such a small thing to grab the flowers from his hand. “wait, aren’t you allergic to pollen? what are you doing holding a whole bouquet?”
you took the bouquet and hid it behind your back.
“it won’t kill me, you know?” vernon said with a smile on his face.
#seventeen#seventeen carat#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen kpop#svt reactions#svt fluff#scoups#scoups x reader#svt scoups#carat#seungcheol#svt#wonwoo#wonwoo x y/n#wonwoo x you#wonwoo x oc#wonwoo x reader#kim mingyu#mingyu x reader#mingyu fluff#mingyu#vernon#mingyu x y/n#mingyu x you#vernon imagines#chwe vernon
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Pookie! I need you to write me something pretty please :)
Can you write Remus comforting a reader with an anxiety disorder when someone told them "there's nothing to be anxious about. You just want attention" ??? Pretty please?? Love you pookieeeeeee
Thanks for requesting!
cw: mean girl stuff, social anxiety
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 929 words
“Shh.” Remus holds you close to his chest, his hand moving up and down your arm now that your crying has slowed. “It’s okay. It’s just us, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you echo, croakily. You’re glad you can’t see your boyfriend’s face, for fear you’d die of embarrassment otherwise. The looming insecurity of your day stands over you like a grim reaper.
You arrived home from a friend’s birthday dinner to find Remus sitting on the couch, already marking the page of his book as he turned to you with a soft smile.
“Hi, sweetheart. How was it?”
You replied, through a laugh that turned into a sob halfway through, “Not great.”
The dinner had been an event of foreboding for you since your invite. You’d been determined to be a good friend by not bailing, but actually going had confirmed your worst fears; it was loud, crowded, filled with people you didn’t know and didn’t fit with. Your outfit wasn’t right, the menu was daunting, and conversation swirled all around you about things you weren’t a part of. The fallout was basically inevitable.
You perhaps waited too long to excuse yourself. You were sweating buckets and breathing around a lump by the time you did, whispering an explanation to your friend before locking yourself into a bathroom stall to talk yourself down. You’re sure she didn’t mean anything by telling the people sitting closest to her why you were gone—you don’t think she’d do it to gossip, and she’s never talked down to you about that sort of thing, at least not to your face—but by the time you returned one of her friends—a stranger to you, who’s name you can’t even remember—had formulated a fairly decisive opinion and dubbed you an attention seeker.
You stayed only a little longer after that. Just long enough to avoid attracting more attention. And you worked yourself up well enough on the way home that all it took was one innocent question from Remus to send you crumpling into his arms.
You’ve tried to steel yourself more than once, but any attempts at stoicism have been foiled by your boyfriend’s tender looks and whispered placations, which only make you cry harder. If you’re an attention seeker, Remus is your holy grail. Self loathing sits lodged in your throat like a stone.
“Whose friend was it, again?” Remus asks, stroking your arm gently.
You take a breath, trying to steady your voice. “Does it matter?”
“I don’t mean it’s your friend’s fault, sweetheart,” Remus says. He’s all softness and patience, better than you could ever deserve. “I just thought you might talk to her, if you want to. She ought to know her friend is going around saying cruel things.”
“She was there.” Your throat tightens at the memory.
“Oh. Then I don’t suppose you need to say anything; I’m sure she’s already very upset for you.”
You try to laugh, frustrated with yourself when it only seems to spur another wave of tears. “Rem. You’re biased.”
“What?” Remus sounds genuinely surprised. “You don’t think she’s angry with that other girl?”
“She’s her friend.”
“So are you.” His arms tighten around you protectively, chin bumping your head. “I may be biased, but the other girl was clearly in the wrong. There’s no excuse for the way she acted.”
A dozen rebuttals fly about your head, but you keep your mouth shut. You don’t have the energy to argue. Unfortunately, Remus hears your argument in the silence anyway.
“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “no one puts themselves through what you do for attention. You don’t choose to feel that way.”
You hunch your back, tucking your head underneath his chin. “I do get attention for it, though.”
“That doesn’t mean you want it.”
“But I—”
“Do you want it?” You can’t see Remus, but you hear the hardened edge to his tone. “Did you like it, when that girl called attention to you in the middle of the dinner?”
Your voice smalls. “No.”
“Right.” The gentleness returns. Remus puts his lips to your head. “I know you didn’t, dovey. So don’t torment yourself, please. She doesn’t know anything about you.”
You push your lips together. He lets you chew on your next words for a while, his thumb swiping softly back and forth over your upper arm, the sleeve of your top shifting slightly with the motion.
“What if…” You gnaw the inside of your cheek. Remus waits. “What if everyone thinks that?”
“Mm. Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think most people would. Surely not anyone who knows you, or anyone worth being around.” He takes a breath, thinking. “You can’t always control what people think. I know you say I’m biased, but anyone who thinks something like that really isn’t worth thinking about at all. You’ve got enough going through that head of yours, yeah?” He kisses your hair fondly.
“I guess so,” you admit.
“Yeah,” Remus decides. He pulls away to see your face, pushing hair away from your tacky cheeks. “I’d say so.”
You wonder if you look as horrendously in love as you feel. You think you must, because your boyfriend’s expression softens impossibly further as he turns his head to give you a proper kiss. You feel raw but comforted, and suddenly, totally exhausted.
“Let the bullies worry about themselves.” Remus gives you a tender look. “I’ll worry about you.”
You let a small smile tilt your lips. “And what am I left to worry about?”
“Nothing,” he says solemnly. “Think you can manage that?”
“Nope.”
“Mm. Well, try.”
#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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The Love Triangle From Hell (3)
Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader
Synopsis: Following PART TWO, Steve feels even more distant from his friends- especially you; Eddie reflects on memories he has of you two; Nancy and Jonathan work together for the paper; Robin does her best to navigate what being friends with you and Steve looks like; you seek comfort in one of the only ways you know how- calling Eddie
Series Masterlist
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; allusions to violence; miscommunication; jealousy; kissing; implications of smut; horniness
A/N: You guys are literally the absolute best. I am having the best time writing this- I'm so inspired by all of you. The love you have shown this fic so far has me overwhelmed. Thank you for your kind words, you have helped me work through some serious writer's block. Your comments and reblogs are keeping me going fr
This is unedited; please let me know what you think and if I missed anything I should include as a warning.
This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI
His hands are tangled in your hair and he’s pulling you in close for another searing kiss. He can’t catch his breath, but he’s just so desperate to stay close to you like this. Your lips are so soft against his and your mouth is so inviting as you yank him closer. You whimper against his lips and it makes him shiver. He feels weak in the knees as you feel so pliable to his touch. You melt into his embrace and sigh happily as his lips trail down your neck.
“Want you,” you moan softly, tugging his hair. He groans at the sensation. “Need you so bad.”
“‘M gonna take care of you,” he promises, bringing his lips back to yours.
“Love you,” you moan.
Before he finds out if he says it back, his alarm goes off and he’s brought back to his reality. He groans disappointedly, covering his ears with his pillow- desperate for a couple more minutes with dream you. There’s a bang at his door.
“Steve! Turn that shit off!” Eddie calls from the other side of the door. He’s yelling but his tone is playful. Steve hits his alarm off and drudges out of bed finally. Eddie has coffee made and Steve forgets anything is wrong at the moment.
“Did she say anything last night?” Steve asks groggily as he pours himself a cup.
“Um, not really,” Eddie replies, taking a moment to think about it. “I mean, yes but not about anything that we don’t know already. She’s conflicted, she doesn’t know what to think or feel. She just wants time.”
“Okay,” Steve replies, leaning up against the counter. He takes a sip of his coffee. He needs to get to work. He can talk about this with Robin when he gets there.
When you called Eddie, you didn’t expect Steve to answer. You thought maybe he’d say something- you wanted him too. But he didn’t. You couldn’t read him anymore.
Eddie was thrilled to hear your voice. He’d missed you, and he’d missed talking to you. He wanted that piece back as soon as he could get it. He reveled in the way his name sounded coming from you.
“I’m so sorry,” you apologize, “I didn’t mean to upset Steve- I heard the way he dropped the phone down…”
“It’s okay sweetheart,” he says compassionately. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He’s met with a sad feeling of silence.
“I’m happy you called,” he says gently. He hopes the sentiment makes you feel better.
“I’ve missed you,” you admit, and Eddie feels like his heart might swell out of his chest.
“It’s hard when the two people who you talk about everything with are the people you want to talk about,” you joke, and he laughs with you.
“You can talk shit about me,” he teases and he hears you groan. He bites his lip, holding back a smile.
“How are you doing?” You ask, changing the subject.
“Much better now,” he flirts.
“How are you doing, really?” You ask again, your voice sounding more fragile.
“I meant, honestly- not great. But not worse than anyone else is doing right now.”
“Yeah…”
“I miss you a lot too,” he admits. He runs a hand through his hair, and it reminds him of how amazing it felt the last time you played with his hair. He’s craving that touch so badly.
When you both were in high school, Eddie went out of his way to make sure you always had a seat at the table. He’d notice as you stood with your cafeteria tray, waiting for Steve to realize there was no open seat for you at his table. He’d wave obnoxiously to catch your eye and he’d smile at the way you’d get shy from the attention. He’d point at the empty seat next to him, and he’d grin as your eyes light up in realization you had a spot. You’d shuffle through the crowd and take your seat next to him. You’d take a seat and ruffle his hair in your hands.
Eddie was always a creature of habit. As much as he exudes chaos, he actually thrives in having a routine. Don’t get him wrong- it’s never been a good routine… but it’s routine nonetheless. In high school it was a lot of the same. Tuesdays, Corroded Coffin played at The Hideout. He would get home way too late and never get in bed until close to 3am. Wednesday mornings, he’d sleep through his alarm and stroll into first period consistently 10ish minutes late. Thursdays he prepped for Hellfire, and then of course, the piece the resistance was Friday. Hellfire. An epic campaign that would run several hours and ensure the most recent shit week had been worth it to make it to that moment.
He remembers that he was paralyzed when the group proposed to postpone Hellfire one time his first senior year. It snaps him out of his thoughts, as he was so wrapped up in you- and how close you were sitting. Eddie knew that hypothetically, it shouldn’t matter if the date changes. However, he couldn’t wrap his head around change. He hated it- still does. A disruption from his status quo throws off his entire week and it will take him too long to mentally recover. He knew that he came off as a hard ass, but he prefers it than trying to explain his mind to his friends. He had felt his jaw tighten as he tried to rationalize with himself that it can be okay to switch it up. He unclenched his fists once he realized that he was making his knuckles white unintentionally.
“Uh yeah, no problem. Saturday’s fine,” he was able to manage through gritted teeth. He relaxed when he could look past himself and see his friends smile, thanking him and happily chatting about the campaign. He smiled when he observed that his decision made everyone happy. That for him outweighed the internal struggle.
He didn’t really listen to the reason everyone wanted to reschedule, but he picked up on after the fact that everyone is talking about the Snow Ball. He couldn’t help but recoil back into himself as his friends talked about their plans to go- who they’re asking, what suit they’re getting, what songs would play, and whatever. He couldn’t have cared less. Unless…
His eyes wandered to sneak a glance at you. He wondered if you had plans- maybe you're hoping someone asks you. Maybe, he’s lucky and you were hoping that someone would be him. He wondered if you had a date. Maybe you already had been asked. It’s not like you had been aware of the way Eddie’s felt about you- unrequited feelings that tugged on his focus constantly since he’s known you. You caught his eye and offered him a shy smile and he could crumble.
Eddie immediately averted his gaze, and focused his attention back on his friends. He ignored the way his face suddenly became so warm and he ignored the butterflies that were swarming around in his stomach. He couldn’t allow himself to dwell on these feelings- he knew that there’s no way you feel the same. Who could possibly like him?
He felt a pressure when the freshman looked at him, one of them having asked Eddie about his own plans. Eddie sees the way the kids look up to him, they idolize him. He knows they think he’s cool. He can’t let that go just yet, he loved it too much. He needed it. He wanted to have them hang on to this version of him for as long as they’d believe in it.
So, despite his usual distaste in school sanctioned functions, he did not want to allow the kids to think he couldn’t score a date. He could only blame society so much before they realized it’s actually his own fear of putting himself out there that cramped his dating life more than anything else. He then resolves that he needs a date to this dance. He tells himself that it’s for the freshman, to keep up the cool facade or whatever. But in actuality, he just wanted to ask you because he wants to ask you out. It’s his perfect window of opportunity.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought about it, honestly,” you said, when one of the freshmen asked you if you had plans. “I’d been so busy with the play, I haven’t had a chance.” Eddie watched as you glanced over to Steve’s table. “Steve and I usually would go to this kinda thing,” you said quickly, and Eddie could see your apprehension despite your best attempt to hide it. “We’ll probably go as friends again.”
He said nothing.
A few days later, you called Eddie and he could immediately tell you’re upset. You’re doing your best to hold it together but he can tell you’re almost at your breaking point.
“Hey,” you say, your voice straining as you try not to cry. “I know this is totally not your thing, but I’m kind of in a bind.”
“What can I do?” He asked, sitting up straight on his bed. He was getting ready to locate his shoes or his keys- thinking you’re in trouble somewhere. He’ddrop anything to come get you.
“I know you’d probably rather do literally anything else, but um, I have two tickets to the Snow Ball and I already bought a dress…”
“I thought you’d be going with Steve?” He asked. You sniffled.
“Um, yeah I kind of just assumed he’d take me. I didn’t realize that he asked out Nancy Wheeler,” you choked back tears. “I mean it’s not like that,” you lied, maybe not to Eddie but more to yourself, “we’re just friends. But I still thought He and I would be going together like as friends again- you know? But, uh, yeah- he is taking like a real date.”
“I know you’d hate it, and I will make it up to you. But, I already bought the tickets and I can’t get my money back. It’s like not a date or anything, just like a friend thing…”
“I’d be happy to take you,” he replied, sincerely. He can tell you were expecting him to fight you on it. When would you catch on that he’s willing to do anything for you?
“Eddie, thank you so much,” you sniffled, still trying your best to keep it cool. “I owe you one,” your voice cracks and you hang up quickly before he gets a chance to say anything.
Eddie didn’t really understand back then why you were even friends with Steve to begin with. Eddie thought Steve, frankly, was a total douchebag. However, once he actually got to know Steve- it was a different story. He couldn’t resent Steve. He loved him like a brother now. And once Eddie got to know the Steve you’ve always known, your feelings for him made sense. But at the same time, Eddie held his tongue for all the things Steve did or didn’t do for so long. Steve was good guy at his core, Eddie understood. But his actions didn’t reflect that in Eddie’s eyes. But it wasn’t his place to tell you that. It didn’t seem right. You’d known Steve so much longer than him.
Nancy and Jonathan invited you and Robin to go with them to watch Lucas’ basketball game. You were excited to get out of your little apartment and support Lucas. Jonathan was photographing it for The Hawkins Post. Jonathan paced up and down the court side to get photos, and you sat up in the bleachers with Nancy and Robin. You were never one to go to school things really, but it was Lucas’s senior year and it was a big game- of course you were going to be there.
“It feels weird, Steve not being here,” Nancy whispers to you and you nod in agreement.
“Yeah, everything just feels weird right now,” you agree. “You and Jonathan are okay?”
“We’re good. We’re doing good, um, still working through stuff but we’re going to just work through it.”
“That’s good.”
“Robin?” Nancy asks, and Robin turns her head to pay attention. “How’s things with Vicky?”
Robin’s face turns tomato red. “Fine,” she mumbles, happily. “I’m gonna hang out with her tomorrow.” You elbow her teasingly, making her blush redden.
“How’s it feeling? Being the best at all of this out of us?” You tease.
“I don’t know,” she’s so embarrassed, it’s so sweet. “We both just like each other- it’s not that complicated. She’s so great.”
The three of you turn your attention back to the game at the sound of the whistle. You clapped and cheered the loudest whenever Lucas had the ball. He tried to plead with the lot of you to tone it down, casting weary looks in your direction. You couldn’t help yourselves. You felt so proud of him.
You decide to take a walk to the concession stands and get some snacks for everyone. You order four sodas and two large popcorns- one for Jonathan and Nancy and one for you and Robin. You fish the cash out of the front pocket of your jeans, and hand it to the kid working the window. You thank him, and balance it all in your hands to navigate carefully back to the stands.
You see a familiar face coming down the hallway, sprinting. For a moment, you can’t help the smile that forms across the expanse of your face until you remember what’s been going on. Your face falls, and you feel so stupid for being excited to see him when it hits you again all at once.
You don’t think Steve knew you’d all be here, because he looks just as surprised to see you. He stops and his sneakers squeak across the polished gym floor. He looks at you with an expression of pure panic. He totally didn’t think you’d be here. And you’re surprised he came alone- but of course he did, he’s Steve. Of course, he’s going to show up to every game for Lucas. You shouldn’t expect any less. It still takes you back.
“Can I help with those?” he asked, gesturing for you to pass some stuff to him. You nod, and tilt so he can take some of the things from your grasp.
“Where are you sitting?” He asks, and you nod your head towards Robin and Nancy. His face deflates. “Ah, okay.” He walks over with you, and he passes the items in his hand off to Robin. He moves aside so you can walk back into your spot.
“Thanks, Steve,” you offer him a soft smile, appreciating the effort despite the circumstances.
“Yeah of course,” he mutters, backing away, lingering for a moment because the seat that’s usually there for him between you and Robin isn’t there. He quickly pulls himself out of his thoughts and just heads over to the next row of bleachers, finding a seat next to a couple of his old basketball teammates that are here for their little brothers.
Steve can’t even focus on the game, he keeps trying to steal glances of you from his peripheral vision. He wants to know what Robin said that made you laugh like that, and he wished he could have heard your laugh- but you’re too far away from him. He watches as your jaw drops at something Nancy tells you, and he watches how you cheer so happily for Lucas. He wants to know if this is bothering you the way it’s bothering him. You look like you’re keeping it together and he wants to know if that could truly be the case.
Even when you’re carrying so much hurt, you give off such a radiance that Steve and he’s sure everyone else is just drawn into. Your pretty smile and your bright eyes are all he can think about- he only knows when to cheer when he feels the people around him move. He smiles when you stand up and pose, pointing to Lucas- then Lucas matches it, giving it back to you. He watches as you both share that moment of just pure joy, and his heart aches. He doesn’t know if he could ever make you that happy.
When the game was over, you looked to see if you could find Steve but there was no sign of him. You all invited Lucas to go out for celebratory pizza for his big win, but he wanted to go with his teammates. The plan fizzled pretty much after that. Robin wanted to get home so she could call Vicky and Jonathan and Nancy wanted to head home so Jonathan could start developing his photos. When you and Robin are walking out, you see a familiar van.
“I’ll bum a ride from Nancy,” Robin assures you, pushing you in Eddie’s direction. She waves to Eddie from a distance and then jogs to catch up with Nancy and Jonathan.
“What are you doing here?” you ask with a smile. He pushes himself off of the hood of his van and walks over to you, his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.
“I thought you might be here,” he quips. “Plus, I had to poke my head in- Sinclair is some big shot apparently?” he jokes, “I had to check out for a few minutes.”
“He’s really great,” you agree.
“Was Steve here?” Eddie asks.
“Yeah I saw him. He didn’t really stay either- I mean he stayed for the game, but we didn’t talk really.” You shrug.
“Well,” he says, trying to optimistically change the subject, “Do you wanna get out of here? I could give you a ride home or we could get food or something- or even just drive around and not talk. I’m not picky.”
He looks so beautiful like this, you observe. The sky is pitch black but the lights in the parking lot illuminate him perfectly with a soft glow. His hair is wonderfully messy and his smile is making it hard for you to breathe. Has he always looked like this? You wonder, astonished as it hits you all at once. He’s gorgeous. Your eyes linger, taking in every little detail you’ve overlooked before. He waves his hand in front of your face to snap you out of your trance.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he tisks.
“Looking at you like what?”
“Like you’re trying to jump my bones,” he chuckles. Your face warms, and suddenly you realize how long you must have been staring.
“Ha, right,” you joke sarcastically, or at least, trying to joke sarcastically. You walk past him and get into the passenger side of the van and try your best to compose yourself in the few seconds it takes for him to follow suit.
“Okay, sweetheart,” he says, turning over the ignition, “where to?”
“Can we just drive around like we used to?” you ask- the circumstances of tonight making you feel so nostalgic.
“Of course we can,” he hums, passing you the case of his cassettes- a familiar and welcomed sight for your tired eyes.
You watch Eddie as he drives, and observe the way the muscles in his arms flex ever so subtly as he turns the wheel. You watch his ringed fingers tap across the top of the steering wheel and you can’t help it the way your mind wanders. You’re so wrapped up in the way his hair sways so effortlessly and the movement of his jaw as he sings, you don’t even notice that Steve was leaving the gym just in time to see you both drive away.
After a little while of aimless driving, and hitting up the drive thru, Eddie ends up parking at Lover’s Lake when neither of you are ready to go home just yet.
“Eddie?” You ask absentmindedly, finishing off the milkshake he got you. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” he replies, also finishing his, but with an obnoxiously loud suck of his straw- determined to get every last sip.
“Why do you like me?” you ask, cringing almost immediately. You think you sound like a middle schooler or something- you’re so embarrassed. His eyes widen for a brief second, contemplating his answer. He tosses the empty cup into the back.
“First off,” he criticizes teasingly, “I did not say I liked you- I’m in love with you. Get your facts straight, ma’am.”
“My apologies,” you giggle, holding your hands up in defeat.
“I mean- I love everything about you; always have,” he starts. “You’re sweet and kind. I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re incredible, and sometimes I can’t figure out why you wanted to ever be friends with me in the first place.”
“Eddie?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Would you kiss me?”
Eddie’s a goner when you’re looking at him with those doe eyes. More than anything he wants to lunge across and close the space between you. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. It takes every fiber of his being to hold himself back..
“I don’t know if I can kiss you without knowing if I could ever kiss you again,” He whispers, but it doesn’t stop him from leaning in towards you. His hand lifts to hold your cheek and suddenly he’s so close. Closer than the two of you have ever been. His lips are tantalizingly close to yours when his forehead touches yours. A huge bang on the side of the van scares you both away from each other.
“Give her time, my ass, Munson! Get the fuck out here! Get your fucking hands off my girl!”
Taglist:
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#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#x reader#steve harrington x f!reader#steve harrington x reader#angst#steve harrington angst#eddie munson angst#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fan fiction#eddie munson x y/n#steve harrington x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#love triangle#fan fiction#eddie x reader#steve x reader#stranger things x reader#joe keery characters#joe quinn characters#stranger things fic#eddie munson fan fiction#steve harrington fan fiction#eventual smut
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A Game of Hearts
Chapter thirteen: Behind Closed Doors
Summary: Y/N’s father is a VIP for the games, he makes a deal with the Frontman that if he marries his only daughter that he will continue to sponsor the games. However, Y/N is not fond of this decision as she loathes the games and in turn, loathes the Frontman as well. Will she grow to love him? Will he let his walls down?
Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13
The air in your quarters felt heavy, like it was thick with all the things left unsaid between you and In-ho. You had made it back, both of you, after the third game—Hide and Seek—which had shaken you to your core. It wasn’t just the brutality of the dogs, or the way the VIPs had reacted, that was eating away at you. It was the way In-ho had stood next to you, so calm and yet so distant, as if he was carrying all of it on his own.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind you, the weight of everything that had happened in the VIP room seemed to settle in. You could still hear the echoes of the last screams from the arena, muffled now, but it didn’t make it any easier. You swallowed hard, trying to shake off the feeling of dread that had lodged itself in your chest.
In-ho stood just inside the doorway, his figure outlined by the dim light. Even though he had his mask on, you could feel the tension radiating off him. The usual wall of indifference was still there, but it wasn’t as strong tonight. You saw cracks. Tiny cracks, but enough to make you wonder what he was really feeling under that controlled surface.
For a long moment, neither of you said anything. The silence between you was suffocating, thick with the unspoken words you both avoided.
Finally, he broke the silence.
“You okay?” His voice was steady, like he was trying to keep his composure. But there was an edge to it, a hint of something deeper.
You turned to face him, your gaze lingering on the mask, the one thing that still stood between you and him. You wanted to tell him how you felt—the anxiety, the fear, the frustration—but you didn’t know how to put it into words. The weight of the situation, the fear of what was coming next—it was too much.
“No,” you answered quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m not okay.”
In-ho didn’t move. He just stood there, watching you. His body was stiff, his arms crossed over his chest as if he were trying to protect something—something you weren’t sure he was ready to show. You could feel the tension in him, like he was holding back, like he didn’t want to let you in too far.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know,” you said, taking a step closer. “It’s okay to not be okay.”
He flinched, just slightly, but you saw it. His gaze flickered away, like he was fighting with himself.
“I don’t have a choice, Y/N,” he said, his voice low, controlled. “If I show weakness, if I let them see it… they’ll use it. You’ll be at risk. And I won’t let that happen.”
You wanted to argue with him, to tell him that you weren’t some fragile thing that needed protecting. But you knew he wouldn’t hear you. The way he saw it, his responsibility was to keep you safe, no matter what it cost him. And it hurt you more than you wanted to admit.
“You’re at risk too, In-ho,” you said softly. “This isn’t just about me. It’s about you, too. And I can see how hard this is for you. I see the weight you’re carrying. I’m not blind to it.”
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved toward the window, his back to you, his posture tense. You knew he wasn’t trying to push you away—at least, not completely. But his walls were up. High. Impossibly high. And he wasn’t ready to let you in.
“I’m doing this for you,” he said quietly, his voice almost lost in the distance. “I can’t afford to show them that I’m… struggling. That I can’t handle this. I can’t afford to lose you, Y/N.”
You watched him, your heart aching at the weight of his words. He was trying so hard to keep it together, but you could see how much it was costing him. The stress. The pressure. And the part that was tearing you apart—the way he kept trying to carry it all on his own.
“You don’t have to protect me from this, In-ho,” you said, your voice gentle but firm. “I know what we’re in. I see it. But you don’t have to go through it alone. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
There was a long silence, and you could feel the walls he had built around himself pushing you away. He was still standing with his back to you, and the mask was on, keeping everything hidden.
“I’m not the one who needs protecting,” he said quietly, almost as if to himself. “You don’t understand. If I show them any weakness, it’ll end everything. This game. This place. You. I won’t let that happen.”
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. He wasn’t ready to let you in. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But you didn’t know how to walk away from him now.
“I don’t need you to be perfect,” you said, your voice low, but full of conviction. “I just need you to be here. With me. You don’t have to keep pretending you’re okay when you’re not. It’s okay not to have it all figured out.”
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, In-ho turned around. But his eyes were still hidden behind the mask. His gaze was steady, but there was something in his posture that told you he was exhausted. Not physically—he was always in control, always sharp. But emotionally? He was barely holding it together. You could feel it, like a pressure in the air.
“I’m not going to let them hurt you,” he said, his voice raw, but still controlled. He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching up to rest lightly on your shoulder. “I can’t promise everything will be okay, but I’ll keep you safe. Always.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, letting the words settle inside you. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to trust that everything would be okay. But the truth was, you didn’t know. No one did.
“You don’t have to do it alone,” you whispered, taking his hand in yours. “We’ll get through this together. Whatever happens with the next game… we’ll face it. Together.”
In-ho didn’t say anything. But the way his hand tightened around yours, even just a little, told you more than words ever could.
He wasn’t ready to let his walls fall. Not completely.
The fourth game was coming. But maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t face it alone. Not anymore.
———————
Chapter thirteen!! Yay! Sorry about the late post, I got swamped with EMT work lol
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#arranged marriage#in ho x reader#marriage au#squid game#squid game x y/n#squid games x reader#x reader#frontman x reader#the front man#squid game x reader
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DRUNK WALK HOME
chapter seven: introductions
masterlist
"and i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me / guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel alright," nobody by mitski
It’s Tuesday, and Akaashi’s studying, sitting at the university coffee shop with his notes splayed across a table, an empty seat across from him.
He can’t focus. He couldn’t focus at his apartment, he couldn’t focus at the library, and he can’t focus here. Noises keep making his head turn, and he keeps thinking that he sees her out of the corner of his eye, and each time it tenses him up, makes his adrenaline spike.
He keeps rereading the same sentence over and over, and going to drink from a coffee that’s been empty for about twenty minutes now. He’s not retaining any information, each word he reads turning into dust on his head.
It’s making his head split. And as much as Akaashi does not want to admit it, the thought creeps into the back of his mind that she’s right: he is obsessed. It makes his grip on his pen a bit tighter. He tries, but he can’t stop thinking about her. Everything he does, she’s in the back of his mind. He wonders what she’d say to him if she could see him, what she’d do. He wonders what she’s thinking about, and if she’s thinking about him.
He wonders if she would’ve been his friend, if he had given her the chance.
This is what he’s thinking about instead of his studies, and it’s driving him insane. He grinds his teeth together, and tries to force himself to understand the content in front of him.
A heavy leather purse drops down on top of the table, and he jumps. Akaashi looks up, and sees an older woman there, taking a seat in the empty chair across from him. She stares directly at Akaashi as she does so. She looks familiar. This scowl she has on her face feels like one Akaashi knows.
“I’m sitting here,” she says, matter-of-factly, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her seat. “There’s no other place to sit, and I’m waiting for my kid to show up. She’s late, go fucking figure.”
Akaashi tries not to let it show how immediately uncomfortable he feels. “Um, okay. That’s fine with me,” he says stiffly, nodding his head.
She has wrinkles around her eyes and heavy frown lines around her mouth. “What’s your name?” she demands.
“Akaashi Keiji, ma’am,” he answers, because he feels like he has to. Like he’ll get in some kind of trouble if he doesn’t.
“You look like a smart kid,” she comments, eyes briefly tracing over his collection of books and notes. “You get good grades?”
“My grades are decent, yes.”
She snorts. “That’s a humble way of saying yes. You look smart, studying here. Wish my kid was smart like you. But she’s a fucking dumbass.”
His discomfort makes him squirm. Akaashi doesn’t know what to say, so he settles on, “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You got a girlfriend, Akaashi?” she asks bluntly.
“Um, no,” he says, and for some reason his face gets hot. “No I don’t.”
“Do you want one? My daughter’s dumb as rocks but she’s at least pretty. Gets it from me,” she says, and grins proudly.
Akaashi looks over his shoulder, like he’s looking for someone to save him from this conversation. The last thing he wants is to date this random woman’s random daughter, especially if they’re anything alike. “Oh, well, I’m just trying to focus on my studies now.”
“Well if you change your mind, let me know. Maybe you’d be a good influence on her,” she says, and then perks up in her chair, looking over Akaashi’s head. “Look, here she comes now.”
Akaashi turns, and he sees her. For a moment, he tries to pretend that he doesn’t see her, and instead looks for the woman’s daughter, before it dawns on him.
It makes sense, once Akaashi realizes. They look alike. The way the frown is the same. The way they spit out words is the same. Akaashi feels something that is akin to satisfaction.
She must see her mother sitting there, speaking with Akaashi, and feel dread, because this awful expression works its way across her face once she sees the two of them together. Her mouth screws up, her fists ball by her side, and she takes quick, urgent steps towards the table in the middle of the cafe. “Mom?” she questions, voice half horrified and half enraged. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m talking to this nice boy, Akaashi,” her mother responds, leaning back in her chair as if she has no intention of leaving, and is in fact just getting comfortable. Smugness blossoms in Akaashi’s chest, and he can’t help but smirk.
She is deliberately not looking back at Akaashi. She has her head turned to face just her mother, shoulders tensed. “Yeah, I can see that. Why are you talking to him?”
“Because I want to,” her mother replies, and then turns back to face Akaashi. “Akaashi, you know this scrub?”
“No, I don’t know him, Mom,” she rushes to lie.
“Actually, we do know each other,” Akaashi corrects her, voice level and cool. “I’m her writing tutor. All students on academic probation have to see a tutor twice a week.”
It’s then that she finally turns to face Akaashi, and it’s not what he was expecting. He was expecting more of her rage, twisted up anger and some kind of rude remark. But instead, she looks horrified, eyes wide and jaw slightly dropped. It makes him shift. He’s never seen her look like that.
“Akaashi,” she whispers, and he thinks it might be the first time she’s said his name since their reintroduction. It makes his spine straighten out.
“Academic probation, huh? What a deadbeat kid you are,” her mother spits out, voice low and harsh. She stands, grabbing her heavy bag and swinging it over her shoulder. “Let’s go,” she commands of her kid.
And, in a move that Akaashi doesn’t expect, she obeys without another word. Her head hangs and her shoulders slump, and she follows her mother out the cafe. Neither one of them say another word to Akaashi.
Akaashi sits there for a moment, left with the impression that he’s done something wrong, just then.
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Take the pain away.
jude bellingham x fem!reader
wc: 2.2k
+18!! mdni
(content warning: unrequited feelings, cheating [unrelated to jude x reader], toxic relationship [also not jude x reader], smut, fingering, unprotected sex [have safe sex pls])
it's been a while since i wrote a jude smut, but you ask and i shall deliver. we have been waiting for this one. heavily inspired by "fuck the pain away (lost tapes 2022)" by tory lanez.
He was exhausted. Not because of football, not because of fame, but because of his best friend. Being physically exhausted was something he was used to — Jude could get rid of it in a few weeks if it resulted in some type of pain. Emotionally, however? He was clueless as to how to heal it, especially since time did nothing but deepen his feelings towards her. It messed up his head, his thoughts got foggy, and he seemed to act out of impulse whenever he was around her. Nothing could really stop him when she was next to him, and that was his doom.
Well, that and her boyfriend. Her hideous, stupid attempt of a man of a boyfriend, whom did nothing but make her feel bad and cheat on her. She wasn’t the girl Jude used to know anymore — the fierce one, who everyone would be scared to even look at her the wrong way. Somehow, that manipulator managed to get her undivided forgiveness every time. It was a never-ending cycle, one that was tearing his mind apart. He was always the one to rescue her, until that dumbass showed up again, promising to be different and acting like a prince for a week.
That night wasn’t any different. The moment his phone vibrated in his pocket and Jude saw who sent the message, he already knew what it was about. And, despite being tired, he still walked up to her house, because she had him at his mercy. He wanted nothing more than to see her okay again, to be her sunshine of her rainy days.
Even if for a single moment only.
She had left the door unlocked for him. Jude carefully got inside, taking a deep breath. He could hear her sobs coming from her room, which he carefully walked up to.
“Princess?” Jude called out softly.
Even in the darkness, he could see her hands coming to dry the tears in her eyes. She sat up, still sniffing, and he sat next to her. He caressed gently her face and wiped another tear.
“Wanna talk about it?” he asked quietly.
“What’s the point? You already know what happened. It’s what always happens.” She let out a humorless chuckle and sighed. “I’m sorry. I probably look like shit right now.’
Bellingham took a moment to look — more like admire — her face. Red glimmering eyes, puffy nose, the bite marks on her lip to avoid crying. She still looked breathtaking.
“You look like a mess, honey,” Jude smirked. “But still pretty as ever.”
She gave a small smile, that quickly turned into a grimace, and she looked at him.
“I feel so weak, Jude. I don’t know why I keep letting this happen, I don’t know why I’m so—” she stopped midsentence and laid in bed again, holding back her tears. He was next to her, supporting the weight of his body on his elbow. “Please, take this pain away. I can’t handle this anymore.”
He took a deep breath yet again. There’s not much he could do, and all his options sounded selfish; even if it was for her own good, it also benefited him. Like leaving that project of a man for once and all. He slowly took strands of her hair out of her face, gently outlining her cheek. He avoided looking at her lips, because he couldn’t do anything about it. Especially with her this vulnerable.
“I’m here, princess. What can I do for you?” Jude asked quietly, toying her hair between his fingers.
“Take the pain away.” She begged again and looked into his eyes.
She had no idea how much Jude wanted to do that.
“I can’t do that. I’m not him, I can’t fix his mistakes, but I can��” he bit his tongue when he realized he was about to say too much; to act selfishly, to prove her she could do better, to give her a taste of what she could have.
A few moments of silence fell between them and her eyes searched for his. She leaned closer, as if she got the hint. As if she wanted it too.
Jude could be her temporary relief, he didn’t care. If he could help, he would.
Who was he trying to fool? If he could have her in any way, he would.
“Fuck the pain away. I could fuck the pain away, baby.” He whispered as he looked at her in her beautiful, almost translucent nightgown. “An eye for an eye. Give him a taste of his own poison. You say the word, I’ll do it.”
She leaned even closer to him, her hand gently resting on his face as she caressed his cheek. She bit her lip, thinking. She was desperate, and Jude was right there for her.
If her boyfriend could do it, then so could she.
Without a second warning, to Jude’s surprise, her lips crashed into his, hastily seeking relief. When their tongues touched, she was in a frenzy, and everything started to get blurry.
All she could think was the way Jude kissed and bit her neck, the way his warm tongue descended to her collarbone and threatened to go even lower. The way she tugged, on Jude’s hair, not wanting the moment the moment to end, needing more of his kisses. Of his burning touch.
“Need to take this off, princess.” He muttered against her collarbone, holding the hem of her nightgown. She nodded and stood her arms up so he could easily remove it. “Making this all so easy for me.” He said once he saw her breasts and tossed the nightgown away, biting her nipple before gently sucking it while caressing the other with expertise.
She was already panting. In a single attempt, he brought his covered knee close to her core, and the damp in her panties was undeniable.
That only fueled his anger. That bastard had her and didn’t touch her properly.
His mouth left her breast and moved back to her neck, sucking and biting it while his hand descended to her core and she her back almost arched in anticipation; if he knew she was that touch deprived, he would’ve suggested that a long time ago.
With his hands underneath her underwear, he pressed two fingers against her clit and moved them slowly, pressuring further to see the way her chest rose, the way her cheeks flush and how her mouth opened, too scared to make a sound.
So, without warning, Jude inserted the two fingers inside her and moved them fast, curling them until he found the spot that made her back arch, and the room became filled with moans. He kissed her throat, his mouth vibrating with each moan that came out of her mouth. His movements were precise, fast, and with an urge to prove something that, before he could realize or properly enjoy what he was doing, her walls were closing against his fingers.
“Jude, I’m—” she tried to say, but he smirked against her skin and moved his fingers even harder.
“You’re what? Tell me, baby.” Jude teased her and her back arched. He felt his fingers hurt, but it didn’t matter. Not when she was coming undone in his hands.
“Jude—” she tried to warn again, and he kept moving his fingers, looking at her in the eyes. She struggled to keep them open, trying to keep eye contact.
“Is that everything you know how to say now? My name?” He hit the spot once again and smirked. “I could get used to that.”
Her walls fully clenched around his fingers, and she finally came, seeing stars behind her eyes and leaving a loud moan. It was something she had never experienced so strongly, and she didn’t know if it was because her boyfriend didn’t care about her pleasure or if it was because it was Jude. Maybe the answer was both.
“Fuck.” she muttered, panting. He just smirked, looking into her eyes and leaning away, putting his own fingers in his mouth to taste her.
“Now that’s a very—” his fingers left his mouth with a pop once he made sure to savor the taste. “—very good girl. And a delicious one, if I might add. Could taste you for fucking hours.”
Jude didn’t care if he still had his clothes on. He had a taste of hers, and nothing would stop him now. If he already couldn’t stop himself before touching, the gods may as well punish him, and it wouldn’t be enough for him to stop.
He kissed her again, making her taste herself before lowering the kisses — from her mouth to the spot under her ear. From her neck to her collarbone. From the valley of her breasts to her stomach. The kisses only lowered. Before he could reach her panties once again, starving, she tugged on her hair.
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m too worked up for you to eat me out. Need more.”
He bit his lip and smirked. As much as he wanted to taste her, he wanted to be inside her. He took off his shirt in a swift move and she sat up, crawling closer to him to kiss him and bite his neck. He felt like his skin was on fire and the bulge on his sweatpants only got harder. He took a deep breath.
“You’re not helping, princess.” He sighed.
“Am I not?” Now it was her time to tease. She straddled him and sat right against his crotch, making him almost roll his eyes. “You should take those sweatpants off.” She said as her hands caressed his abdomen.
He quickly turned the position, now on top of her, and took his sweatpants off.
“Good enough for you, princess?” He whispered, leaning closer.
“Better if you took your underwear off.” She smirked.
“Brat.”
Instead of taking his underwear off, he took her panties off in one single move. A risky one, since he could’ve ripped it from how quickly he took it off. He lowered and admired for a moment.
“Such a pretty pussy. A shame you won’t let me eat you out.” He whispered as he looked at her core, gently touching her puffy clit once again. She was stretched, but not enough. He didn’t pay attention to that when he had his fingers inside her — he just wanted to see her pretty face coming.
“Jude.” She called him out with some urgency, and he sighed.
Maybe the gods couldn’t stop Jude, but she could.
He took his underwear off, only now realizing how painfully hard he was. She watched as his cock sprung out, rigid, leaking with too much precum. He bit his lip and put his hand around his cock, spreading the precum slowly. He knew how sensitive he was right now, and he had to hold it back for her. He lined his member with her entrance and slowly dipped inside her.
She moaned loudly and Jude could feel his breath stopping from how tight she was. He gave her some time to adjust to his size.
“This is too much.” She whined.
“Darling, I’m not even moving.” He replied. “Your boyfriend lacks even in that area? He’s truly useless.”
She would’ve chuckled if she wasn’t having a hard time with the way his cock filled her, the burning sensation from the stretch seeming unending.
“It hurts.”
Jude leaned close to her, their lips almost touching.
“It doesn’t, baby.” He thrusted one time, to make her more used to the movements. “I’m taking the pain away. Just feel me here. That’s all you have to do.” He pressed his hand against her belly and thrusted once again, earning a moan and feeling himself from how big he was.
She could do much better than her boyfriend. He wanted to be the much better.
He started properly moving, hard, fast, desperate for his own release as well. To prove her how much better she could be fucked if he was the one doing it. And each time he hit the spot, he could feel her walls clenching. His hand never left her belly, knowing how deep he was going into her. He couldn’t stop.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and held his hair as his movements became more frenetic, moans dripping from her mouth to his ear with anything he did. He moaned whenever she clenched too hard against him.
“You’re so fucking tight.” he muttered, panting, trying to keep the pace. It was taking all of his willpower to not just come already. She didn’t reply, of course. She was too busy scratching his back and moaning desperately.
His movements became more erratic, slower, and, when her walls clenched around him one last time, he spilled everything inside her and fell to her chest, trying to catch his breath.
“Jude?” She called him out once they could properly speak.
“Yeah?”
“Stay. For the night.” She pleaded softly, caressing his back that were marked by the painting her nails had done.
“I wasn’t planning to go anywhere else, princess.” He smiled at her.
Jude held her against his chest, as she peacefully slept. He leaned his chin on the top of her head and, once he was certain she was sleeping, he sighed.
“I can’t take the pain away because I’m not your man.” Jude whispered. “But I wish I was.”
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham x fem!reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham angst#jude bellingham x yn#football#football smut#soccer#soccer smut#footballer smut#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer x you#soccer x reader#footballer blurb#football x reader#footballer imagine#footballer#football x y/n#football x you#football one shot#football imagine#soccer imagine
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the call
PAIRING ↬ lee donghyuck x fem!reader
TAGS ↬ thriller, cheating!?, romance, angst(?), blood, attempted murder, i really don't know how to tag this, non-linear narrative, maybe horror
SUMMARY ↬ haechan leaves you a cryptic phone call on a night out. something about this doesn’t sit right with you.
WORD COUNT ↬3.3k words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ surprise! this isn't the jisung fic but i decided to pull this one out of my sleeve as well. title and fic is inspired by "the call" by backstreet boys! the fic is also not written in linear order.
1 HOUR BEFORE THE INCIDENT:
“Hello?”
“Hi, it's me, what's up, baby? I'm sorry, listen, I'm gonna be late tonight So, don't stay up and wait for me, okay?”
“Where are you?”
“Wait, wait, say that again?”
“Haechan. Hello?”
“You're really dropping out, I think my battery must be low. Listen, if you can hear me, we're going to a place nearby, alright? Gotta go.”
4 HOURS BEFORE THE INCIDENT:
“Don’t pout,” Haechan teases, slinging his jacket over his shoulder. His voice is light, but his teasing smile can’t hide the affection in his eyes.
“I’m not pouting,” you argue, crossing your arms in mock defiance.
“You’re pouting,” he insists, stepping closer until he’s standing right in front of you. He tilts his head, studying your expression, before leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “Admit it. You’ll miss me.”
“I won’t,” you shoot back, but the smile tugging at your lips betrays you.
“Liar.” He grins, tugging on the strings of your hoodie playfully. “Don’t worry, I’ll behave. Just a couple of drinks with the guys, and I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me for real.”
“Uh-huh. Famous last words.” You roll your eyes, but you don’t stop him as he walks toward the door.
“Text me if you get bored without me,” he calls out, slipping on his sneakers.
“You mean when you get bored and want an excuse to leave early,” you counter, leaning against the doorframe as you watch him put on his jacket.
“Guilty,” he admits with a wink. “Alright, baby, I’m out. Love you.”
“Love you too,” you reply softly, watching as he steps outside.
This is normal. Haechan always goes out with his friends on Saturdays. You glance at your phone, opening the chat with him to send a quick, “Be safe. Don’t let them drag you into anything dumb.” You know he won’t see it right away, but it makes you feel better.
30 MINUTES BEFORE THE INCIDENT:
You’re pacing the living room, your phone clutched tightly in your hand. Haechan’s earlier call echoes in your mind.
I’m going to a place nearby.
The shrill sound of your ringtone breaks through your thoughts, and you nearly drop the phone in your scramble to answer.
“Sunoo?” you ask, recognizing the name on the screen.
“Y/N, hey,” Sunoo says, his voice laced with hesitation. “Um, I’m sorry if this is weird, but I thought I should tell you something.”
Your stomach twists. “What’s wrong?”
“I just saw Haechan… I think,” he says nervously. “He was walking down the street near the bar, but he wasn’t alone.”
Your breath catches. “Who was he with?”
“A woman,” Sunoo admits reluctantly. “She was… kind of close to him. Like, really close. I thought it was weird because he looked tense—like he was nervous, while also trying to relax. But she was smiling, laughing. I didn’t want to assume anything, but…”
You sit down on the couch, your legs threatening to give out. “Where did you see them?”
“Toward the alley near the old convenience store. They were walking away from the bar,” Sunoo says, his words spilling out quickly. “I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure if I should get involved or assume anything, but I thought you should know.”
Your mind races. That’s not far. But why would he leave the bar with a woman?
“Thanks for telling me,” you manage, your voice trembling.
“Y/N, I don’t think he—” Sunoo starts, but you cut him off.
“It’s okay. I’ll figure it out. Thank you.”
You hang up before he can say anything else, your hands shaking as you dial Haechan’s number.
“Come on, pick up,” you mutter, pacing again. The call goes straight to voicemail. You redial, but it’s the same result. “Haechan, please, just call me back. I don’t care what’s going on—I just need to know you’re okay.”
You end the call and clutch the phone to your chest, trying to steady your breathing.
You didn’t think he was cheating. You didn’t want to think that. But what if he really was with another woman? What if he lied about being late?
“No,” you whisper to yourself. Haechan wasn’t like that. You trusted him. But then why did he sound so strange on the phone? And who was this woman?
Your phone buzzes again, but it’s not Haechan. It’s a message from Sunoo: “Don’t make any assumptions. He looked… scared. Either he’s nervous about getting caught or something else. Be careful. Don’t do anything rash.”
Scared? Your chest tightens as panic fully takes over. Something is horribly wrong.
Without another thought, you grab your coat and keys, determined to find him yourself.
3 HOURS BEFORE THE INCIDENT:
The bar is alive with energy—music thumping, glasses clinking, and conversations overlapping. Haechan sits at a table with his friends, a round of drinks between them. He laughs at something Jaemin says, his head tipping back as he taps the table.
“Another round?” Jaemin asks, holding up his empty glass.
Haechan shakes his head. “I’m good for now. You’re not dragging me into your three-shots-in-five-minutes challenge again.”
“Come on,” Jaemin groans dramatically. “You’re so boring these days, man. What happened to the Haechan who used to party like a legend?”
“He got a girlfriend,” Renjun cuts in, smirking. “And he doesn’t want to die if she finds out he got plastered without telling her.”
The table erupts in laughter, and Haechan just shrugs, grinning. “Hey, priorities. Y/N’s cuter than all of you combined.”
As the guys banter, none of them notice the woman until she’s standing right by their table. Her hair is sleek, her makeup flawless, and her gaze sharp as she focuses entirely on Haechan.
“Hi,” she says, her voice smooth and confident. “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room.”
Haechan blinks, clearly caught off guard. “Oh. Uh, hi.”
She smiles, leaning in slightly. “You looked like you were having fun, but maybe later… I’ve got a little place nearby. Wanna go?”
The air shifts awkwardly at the table. Although her invitation is innocent, her intentions are clear. Haechan’s friends exchange glances, their smirks fading as they realize what’s happening.
Haechan’s smile is polite but firm. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m good. I’ve got someone waiting for me at home.”
Her smile falters for a split second before she recovers, her tone light but insistent. “Are you sure? It’s not far, and I think you’d enjoy it.”
Haechan shakes his head. “Thanks, but no. Have a good night.”
She lingers for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly, before she finally steps back. “Your loss,” she murmurs, turning on her heel and walking away.
As she moves to a dark corner of the bar, Haechan exhales, muttering, “Well, that was weird.”
Jaemin snorts. “You should’ve seen your face, man.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Haechan says, waving him off. But something about the encounter reminds him of something. He glances toward the woman, and for a fleeting moment, their eyes meet.
Oh fuck.
15 MINUTES BEFORE THE INCIDENT:
The air is cold against your skin as you hurriedly zip up your jacket and step out into the night. The street feels far too quiet for a Saturday evening, the streetlights casting long, eerie shadows on the pavement. You clutch your phone in your hand, gripping it like a lifeline as your mind races.
Sunoo’s text flashes in your head: “Don’t make assumptions.”
But when Sunoo had told the others, they weren’t so sure.
“Y/N, maybe you should stop and think,” your friend Jihoon had said on the phone. He had called you as soon as Sunoo relayed the information to him. “I mean, I don’t want to make you upset, but what if… what if Haechan’s just—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” you had snapped, cutting him off. “You think he’s cheating, don’t you?”
There had been a long pause on the other end before Jihoon finally said, “I mean, what else could it be? Sunoo said he was with some girl, right?”
You’d hung up after that, unable to handle the doubt in Jihoon’s voice. But then Giselle called, her tone softer but no less skeptical.
“Y/N, I’m worried about you,” she’d said. “I know you trust Hyuck, but... sometimes people surprise you. Maybe he’s not who you think he is.”
“He’s not cheating,” you’d insisted, though your voice had wavered. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Then where is he?” Minjeong asked, and for a moment, you’d felt your resolve crack.
But now, as you march down the sidewalk, your determination solidifies. You know Haechan. You know how much he loves you. And that phone call—the rushed tone, the way he kept cutting out—wasn’t the voice of someone sneaking around. It was the voice of someone in trouble. At least you thought so.
You stop at the corner of the street, glancing around desperately. There’s no sign of him. You dial his number again, only to be met with voicemail. Your heart pounds harder with each failed attempt to reach him.
Finally, with trembling hands, you call the police.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“My boyfriend is missing,” you say, your voice breaking. “I think—I think something’s wrong. He called me earlier, and he sounded…nervous. And now his phone’s off, and my friend saw him with a strange woman—please, I need help.”
The dispatcher asks you a series of questions: Haechan’s description, the last place he was seen, the time of the call. You answer as best as you can, your voice growing shakier with every detail.
“We’ll send an officer to patrol the area,” the dispatcher says. “Please stay where you are and remain calm.”
But you can’t stay put. You hang up and keep walking, your eyes darting to every shadow, every alley.
“Y/N, stop.”
You turn to see Sunoo jogging up to you, his face etched with worry. Behind him are Jihoon and Giselle, who look less concerned and more resigned.
“We told you not to do anything rash. What are you doing?” Jihoon asks, crossing his arms. “The cops will handle it.”
“I can’t just stand around and wait!” you snap. “Something’s wrong, Jihoon. I can feel it.”
“What if there’s nothing wrong?” Giselle says carefully. “Y/N, what if he just… didn’t want you to know where he was going?”
“Stop,” Sunoo interjects, glaring at her. “I told you he looked nervous and scared. You weren’t there. You didn’t see what I saw.”
“Or maybe you’re overthinking it,” Jihoon mutters.
You shake your head, tears pricking your eyes. “I know Haechan. He wouldn’t do this to me. If he hasn’t come back, it’s because he can’t.”
Your voice cracks, and Sunoo places a comforting hand on your shoulder. “We’ll find him,” he says softly. “Let’s just keep looking.”
Jihoon sighs, but he and Giselle reluctantly follow as you start walking again.
Haechan didn’t betray you. You were going to believe in this. And you’re going to find him, no matter what.
12 HOURS AFTER THE INCIDENT:
The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor is the first thing Haechan registers as he slowly comes to. His body feels heavy, his limbs weighted down as though they’re not his own. He tries to move, but the sharp sting radiating from his side stops him.
“Where…” he croaks, his voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. His throat feels like sandpaper.
“You’re awake.”
The unfamiliar voice makes him flinch. His head turns slowly, and he squints through the bright, sterile light. A nurse stands by his bedside, adjusting the IV bag hanging from a metal pole. She’s wearing a kind smile, but there’s a shadow of concern in her eyes.
“Where am I?” he manages, his voice rasping.
“You’re at St. Mary’s Hospital,” she says gently. “You were brought in last night. Do you remember anything?”
His mind feels like it’s wrapped in fog. He struggles to piece together fragments of memory, but it’s all blurry—flashes of faces, the sound of a scream, and an overwhelming sense of fear. His stomach twists.
“I… I don’t know,” he admits. “What happened?”
The nurse hesitates. “You were found unconscious in the middle of the road. You have some injuries—a fractured rib, a concussion, and some deep bruising. You’re lucky someone called the paramedics when they did.”
Someone. Who? His thoughts race, but they’re disjointed, scattered.
“Was I… alone?” he asks, his voice trembling.
The nurse’s expression flickers with hesitation. “There were others. Two men—they were taken to surgery for more severe injuries—and a woman. She’s stable now but hasn’t regained consciousness yet.”
Haechan’s breath catches. A woman. His mind scrambles for answers. The image of a smile—sharp, too wide—flickers in his memory, and a chill runs down his spine.
“Who… who is she?” he whispers.
“We don’t know yet,” the nurse replies. “The police are looking into it.”
Police.
His heart races, and the beeping of the monitor speeds up with it.
“Easy,” the nurse says quickly, pressing a hand to his shoulder to calm him. “Don’t push yourself too hard. You need to rest.”
Haechan squeezes his eyes shut, trying to slow his breathing. But his mind won’t stop spinning. Through the haze, he catches snippets of conversation from outside the room.
“…police said they found them restrained…”
“…looks like they were attacked…”
“…the woman was armed. Dangerous.”
Haechan’s stomach churns. He wants to ask, to demand answers, but his body betrays him, too weak to do anything but listen.
The nurse finishes adjusting the machines and steps back. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. If you need anything, press the call button, okay?”
He nods faintly, though he doesn’t feel okay. Not even close.
2 HOURS BEFORE THE INCIDENT:
The bar is alive with laughter, the clinking of glasses, and the faint hum of music from the jukebox in the corner. Haechan leans back in his seat, laughing at a joke Jaemin just cracked. His glass is nearly empty, condensation sliding down the sides as he swirls the last bit of his drink absently.
It’s been a good night. Lighthearted, carefree. Exactly what he needed after a long week.
But then, his phone vibrates on the table, cutting through the noise. Haechan picks it up, glancing at the screen casually. The glow of the display reflects in his eyes, and in an instant, the ease in his expression vanishes.
His smile falters. His face drains of color.
The others don’t notice at first, too caught up in their conversation. But as Haechan’s eyes scan the message, his fingers tighten around the phone, his knuckles turning white. His shoulders stiffen, and his breathing becomes shallow.
“Everything okay?” Jaemin asks, nudging him lightly.
Haechan doesn’t answer right away. His gaze is fixed on the screen, his lips pressed into a thin line. His thumb hovers over the screen as though debating whether to respond, but instead, he locks the phone and places it face down on the table.
“I’ll be right back,” he mutters, his voice low.
Jaemin frowns, his brows knitting together. “You good?”
Haechan forces a nod, though his expression betrays him. “Yeah. Just… need some air. Plus I need to make a quick call.”
Without waiting for a response, he grabs his jacket and stands, weaving through the crowded bar toward the exit. His movements are quick but shaky, his shoulders slightly hunched as if trying to make himself smaller.
As he passes by the bar, he doesn’t notice the woman from earlier sitting at the corner, watching him intently. She swirls her drink lazily, her red-painted nails tapping against the glass in a rhythmic pattern.
Her eyes follow him as he pushes open the door and steps into the cold night air. A smirk spreads across her face, sharp and knowing. She lifts her glass, taking a slow sip, and sets it down with deliberate precision.
Her fingers curl around the edge of the glass, tightening until her knuckles strain. The corners of her mouth twitch as if she’s holding back a laugh.
“Right on time,” she murmurs to herself, her voice drowned out by the noise of the bar.
30 MINUTES AFTER THE INCIDENT:
Flashing red and blue lights cast frantic, distorted shadows across the street, the wail of sirens blending with the hum of voices—police officers, paramedics, and onlookers.
You stand frozen at the edge of it all, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps. Your chest feels like it’s caving in, your pulse racing so fast it blurs the world around you. It’s too much. Too loud. Too bright. Too real.
“Y/N!”
Sunoo’s voice snaps you out of your stupor. He reaches you in seconds, his hands gripping your shoulders as if to anchor you. “Breathe,” he urges, his voice trembling. “You have to breathe.”
But how can you? How can you breathe when the man you love might be—
You blink hard, tears streaming down your face, and your gaze shifts to the ambulance parked nearby. Paramedics wheel someone out on a stretcher, their face obscured by oxygen masks and bloodied bandages.
Haechan.
Your knees buckle, and Sunoo catches you before you hit the ground. “Stay with me,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “He’s alive, Y/N. He’s alive.”
But alive doesn’t mean okay. Alive doesn���t mean safe.
Jihoon and Giselle appear beside you, their faces pale and grim. Giselle’s hand wraps around yours, squeezing tightly. “We don’t know what happened,” she says, her voice hushed but firm. “But he’s in good hands now. They’ll do everything they can.”
You nod, but it’s hollow. Empty. The truth is, you don’t know if anything will be enough.
None of this adds up. And it’s eating at you.
The stretcher disappears into the ambulance, the doors slamming shut behind it. The sirens start again, louder this time, and you flinch as the vehicle speeds away into the night.
“What if this is it?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.
Giselle shakes her head. “Don’t think like that.”
But you can’t help it. Your mind spirals, filling in blanks with the worst possible scenarios. Did he crash his car? Was it an attack? Did that woman—
You double over, clutching your stomach as the weight of it all hits you. “I should’ve stopped him,” you sob. “I should’ve done something.”
“It’s not your fault,” Jihoon says firmly, though his own voice shakes. “Whatever happened, it’s not your fault.”
A police officer approaches, his face grim. “Are you Y/N?”
You nod, wiping at your tear-streaked face. “Yes. Is he—what happened? Is he okay?”
The officer hesitates, his eyes flickering to your friends before settling back on you. “We’re still piecing everything together, but… it doesn’t look like an accident.”
Your blood turns cold. “What do you mean?”
“We’ll need your statement,” the officer continues. “But for now, all I can say is… this was deliberate.”
The word hits you like a slap, leaving you breathless.
Deliberate.
“Do you know who might have done this?” the officer asks, pulling out a small notepad.
You open your mouth to respond, but no words come out. Because the truth is, you don’t know. You don’t know who she is. You don’t know why Haechan was with her. And you don’t know why this happened.
As the officer steps away, your gaze shifts to the darkened street where it all began. The ambulance is gone, the chaos fading as the night swallows the scene whole.
And as your friends hold you in comfort, you can only wonder. How did everything go wrong?
part 2 maybe 😛😛 ?????
TAGLIST ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @galacticnct @yizhrt @polarisjisung @multifandomania @spacejip @peterm4rker @viasdreams @mango-bear
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Yandere Wonyoung x Male Reader
Wonyoung & y/n have been friends since childhood and promised to get married when they grow up..but since Wonyoung became an idol and got great success, she start to forget y/n and said rude things to y/n..at the same time, she's in a relationship with a male idol..y/n knows about it and feels very disappointed and slowly forgets Wonyoung
a few months later, Wonyoung compared between that male idol with y/n and felt that y/n was the best..after that, she start tracking y/n & willing to kill anyone who stood in her way.
The Price of a Broken Promise
Yandere Wonyoung X Male Reader
The rain poured heavily outside as Wonyoung sat alone in her luxurious apartment, staring blankly at the dim glow of her phone. News articles, tweets, and viral videos filled the screen, all focused on the same scandal: San, her boyfriend, caught cheating with another idol. The images of him smiling, holding someone else’s hand, sent a sharp pang through her chest.
The betrayal stung, but it wasn’t just San’s actions that haunted her tonight. As she curled up on the couch, her mind drifted back to a promise she had made long ago, to someone who had once meant everything to her.
“Y/n,” she whispered his name for the first time in years, the sound foreign yet painfully familiar.
She closed her eyes, letting the memories resurface. She saw his shy smile, the way his hand would always reach for hers as they walked home together. He had been her anchor, her unwavering support during the uncertain days of their childhood.
But she had let him go.
Her fame as an idol had taken over her life, pulling her further and further away from the boy who had once been her entire world. It wasn’t just time or distance that had severed their bond—it was her own selfishness.
“Wonyoung, don’t forget me, okay?” Y/n had said once, his voice soft but earnest.
“I could never forget you,” she had replied with a laugh, brushing off his concern. But she had forgotten him—forgotten their promise, forgotten his love.
And worse, she had pushed him away.
Her chest tightened as she remembered their last conversation, months before she debuted. He had called her late at night, worried about her.
“Wonyoung, are you okay? You haven’t replied to my texts,” he had said, his voice full of concern.
“I’m fine, Y/n. I’m just busy,” she had replied coldly.
“I just wanted to remind you I’m here for you—always.”
“I don’t need you,” she had snapped, her frustration boiling over. “Stop calling me.”
She could still hear the silence that followed, the hurt in his voice when he finally said, “Okay. I understand.”
That had been the last time she heard from him.
Now, years later, she realized the enormity of her mistake. Y/n had been the one constant in her life, the one person who had loved her unconditionally. And she had thrown him away for a fleeting romance with someone who didn’t even care enough to stay faithful.
The guilt hit her like a tidal wave. She grabbed her phone, her hands trembling as she searched for his number.
Her heart sank when the call didn’t go through.
“The number you have dialed is no longer in service.”
“No,” she whispered, her voice breaking. She tried again, but the same robotic message greeted her.
“Why did I let you go?” she sobbed, clutching the phone to her chest.
The days that followed were a blur. Wonyoung couldn’t focus on anything—rehearsals, photoshoots, interviews. Her manager noticed the change.
“Wonyoung, what’s going on with you?” he asked one afternoon, his tone sharp. “You’re distracted, and it’s starting to show.”
“I just need some time,” she mumbled, avoiding his gaze.
“Time for what? You have responsibilities, a career—”
“I need to find someone,” she interrupted, her voice trembling.
Her manager stared at her, baffled. “What are you talking about? You don’t have time for this.”
“I don’t care!” she snapped, standing abruptly. “I’ve already lost the most important person in my life because of this career. I’m not losing him forever.”
“Wonyoung, be reasonable—”
“I’m done listening to reason,” she said, her voice firm. “I’m going to find Y/n.”
She spent weeks searching, reaching out to mutual friends, scouring social media, even looking through old emails in the hope of finding some trace of him. It was through one of those emails that she found an old message from him, dated two years ago.
Wonyoung,
I know you’re busy, and I know your life is different now. But I just wanted to remind you that I’m still here. If you ever need me, just call.
- Y/n
Her tears blurred the screen as she read his words. He had been there for her, even when she didn’t deserve it. And now he was gone.
Wonyoung’s search eventually led her to New York, where she had heard he had moved. She didn’t know what she would say if she found him. She didn’t even know if he would want to see her. But she had to try.
When she finally knocked on the door of a small apartment in the city, her heart was pounding so loudly she could barely hear the rain that drenched her.
The door opened, and there he was.
“Y/n,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
He stared at her in shock, his expression unreadable. “Wonyoung?”
Before she could stop herself, tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice breaking. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Y/n stepped back, his face hardening. “What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you,” she said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.
“Why now?” he asked, his tone cold. “After all this time, why now?”
She collapsed onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. “I was selfish. I hurt you, and I let you go. I let everything go, and I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone.”
“You don’t get to just walk back into my life,” he said, his voice sharp. “You don’t get to show up here and expect me to forgive you.”
“I know,” she said, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please… just listen to me.”
Y/n clenched his fists, his emotions a whirlwind of anger, pain, and something else he couldn’t quite name. “Do you have any idea what you put me through? You made me feel like I was nothing. Like I didn’t matter.”
“You mattered,” she said desperately. “You mattered more than anything. I was just too blind to see it.”
He shook his head, turning away. “Why are you really here, Wonyoung? Is it guilt? Regret? What do you want from me?”
“I want you,” she said, her voice trembling. “I want to make things right. I want to keep the promise we made.”
Y/n froze, her words cutting through him like a knife. For so long, he had dreamed of hearing her say those words. But now that she had, it felt hollow.
“You don’t get to fix this with a few words,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “Trust doesn’t work like that. Love doesn’t work like that.”
“I know,” she said, her voice breaking. “I know it’ll take time. But I’ll wait. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Y/n looked at her, searching her face for sincerity. For the first time, he saw it—the raw, unfiltered regret and love she had buried for so long.
But trust wasn’t something that could be rebuilt overnight. And love, once broken, wasn’t so easily mended.
Wonyoung returned to Seoul after her meeting with Y/n, but she wasn’t the same. The regret and longing that had once been a dull ache had transformed into something far more potent. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his face—his indifferent expression, his cold tone. The man she had once known as her Y/n was no longer hers.
And that thought drove her mad.
She sat in her darkened apartment, scrolling through her phone for the hundredth time. She had found his social media accounts, though they were sparse. His life seemed simple now—pictures of cityscapes, books, and an occasional group photo with friends. But it was the women in those group photos that caught her attention.
Who were they? Friends? Coworkers? Or something more?
Her grip on the phone tightened, her chest heaving with anger at the mere thought of Y/n laughing with another girl, confiding in someone else, smiling for someone else.
“No,” she whispered to herself, her voice trembling. “He’s mine. He promised me. We promised each other.”
Her thoughts spiraled, and with each passing day, her obsession grew.
Wonyoung began to neglect her career. She would cancel rehearsals, ignore her manager’s calls, and avoid public appearances. Instead, she spent her days tracking Y/n’s life from afar. She learned the names of his coworkers, memorized his daily routines, and even discovered where he liked to eat lunch.
One day, she booked a flight back to New York, unable to stay away any longer.
Y/n was sitting in a café near his office, typing away on his laptop, when he felt a familiar presence. He looked up, and his heart sank.
“Wonyoung?”
She stood there, her eyes red-rimmed but filled with a desperate kind of determination.
“I needed to see you,” she said softly, taking a seat across from him without waiting for an invitation.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his tone laced with frustration.
“I couldn’t stay away,” she admitted. “I’ve been thinking about you every day. I need to make this right.”
Y/n sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Wonyoung, we talked about this. I told you I needed time.”
“I know,” she said quickly, her voice trembling. “But I can’t wait. I can’t let you go. You’re all I think about, Y/n. I can’t… I can’t live without you.”
Her words unsettled him. There was something unhinged in the way she spoke, in the way her hands clenched the edge of the table as if holding on for dear life.
“You can’t force this,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm. “You need to move on.”
“Move on?” she repeated, her eyes widening. “How can you say that? After everything we’ve been through?”
“Wonyoung, we were kids. Things are different now. You need to understand that.”
Her lips quivered, and tears welled up in her eyes. “No. No, you’re wrong. Things don’t have to be different. We can fix this. I can fix this.”
Y/n shook his head, his frustration mounting. “You’re not listening to me. This isn’t healthy—for either of us.”
She stared at him, her tears falling freely. “You don’t mean that,” she whispered.
But he did mean it. He stood, grabbing his laptop and bag. “I think you should leave, Wonyoung. Please don’t come back.”
She watched him walk away, her heart shattering all over again. But as the pain consumed her, a darker resolve began to take shape.
Wonyoung sat in her hotel room that night, replaying their conversation over and over in her mind. Y/n was pushing her away, but she couldn’t let him. He was hers. He had always been hers.
Her thoughts turned to the women she had seen in his photos. She imagined them laughing with him, touching him, taking her place. The idea was unbearable.
“No one else can have him,” she muttered to herself, pacing the room.
Her mind raced with possibilities, each one more twisted than the last. If Y/n wouldn’t come back to her willingly, she would make him. And if anyone tried to stand in her way, they would regret it.
The next day, Wonyoung followed Y/n to his office. She waited outside, watching as he chatted with a female coworker—a petite woman with a kind smile. Wonyoung’s nails dug into her palms as jealousy consumed her.
When the woman walked to a nearby café for lunch, Wonyoung followed her. She cornered her in the alley behind the café, her expression cold and menacing.
“You need to stay away from him,” Wonyoung said, her voice low and threatening.
The woman looked confused. “Excuse me?”
“Y/n,” Wonyoung clarified, stepping closer. “He’s mine. Don’t think for a second that you can take him from me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the woman stammered, backing away.
Wonyoung grabbed her wrist, her grip like iron. “Listen carefully,” she hissed. “If I see you near him again, you’ll regret it.”
The woman nodded quickly, her face pale with fear. Wonyoung released her and walked away, a twisted sense of satisfaction washing over her.
Y/n started noticing strange things in the following weeks. His coworkers seemed distant, avoiding him during breaks. One day, he found a bouquet of roses on his doorstep with a note that read, “You’re mine, forever.”
He knew who it was from.
Wonyoung’s obsession was spiraling out of control, and he didn’t know how to stop it.
He confronted her one evening, finding her waiting outside his apartment.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded.
“I just wanted to see you,” she said, her voice sweet but unsteady.
“This has to stop, Wonyoung. You’re scaring me.”
Her smile faltered. “I’m scaring you? Y/n, all I’ve done is love you. All I’ve ever wanted is to be with you.”
“This isn’t love,” he said firmly. “This is obsession.”
Her eyes darkened, and she stepped closer. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that. You don’t understand how much I need you, Y/n. I can’t live without you.”
“You need help,” he said, his voice softening. “Please, Wonyoung. Get help.”
Her expression twisted into one of rage and heartbreak. “I don’t need help. I need you. And I won’t let anyone take you from me.”
Y/n felt a chill run down his spine. He realized then just how far she was willing to go.
The obsession had consumed Wonyoung entirely. Every waking moment revolved around Y/n—what he was doing, where he was going, who he was with. She knew everything: the times he left for work, the café he liked to visit, the park where he occasionally went to clear his mind. Her network of eyes seemed endless. Every interaction, every smile he shared with someone else, ignited a storm of jealousy and fury within her.
But she couldn’t just watch anymore. She needed him. Completely.
It was a cold, quiet night when Wonyoung finally decided to act. She waited in the alley near Y/n’s apartment, cloaked in darkness. Her heart raced as she gripped the small vial in her hand, the contents a potent sedative she had procured after weeks of planning.
She knew his routine well enough to predict when he’d go to bed. The lights in his apartment flickered off around 11 PM. She waited another hour, ensuring he was deep in sleep before making her move.
Breaking into Y/n’s apartment was easier than she expected. She had studied his habits meticulously, noting how he often forgot to lock his balcony door. The quiet click of the door sliding open sent a chill down her spine, a mix of adrenaline and anticipation coursing through her.
She crept inside, her movements silent and calculated. His living room was dimly lit by the faint glow of the streetlights outside. Her gaze fell on a framed photo of him on the counter, and she couldn’t resist picking it up, her fingers trembling as she traced his face.
“You’ll understand soon,” she whispered to herself, setting the photo down.
Her footsteps were featherlight as she made her way to his bedroom. The door was ajar, and she pushed it open slowly, revealing Y/n’s sleeping form. He looked peaceful, his chest rising and falling steadily.
Wonyoung’s breath hitched. He was so close, so vulnerable.
She stepped closer, her hands trembling as she pulled out a syringe filled with the sedative. She had practiced this moment in her mind countless times, but the reality of it made her hands shake.
“I’m doing this for us,” she murmured, her voice barely audible.
She knelt beside the bed, carefully brushing a stray lock of hair from his face. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake. Her heart pounded as she pressed the needle against his skin.
The prick of the needle woke Y/n. His eyes fluttered open, and for a moment, he was disoriented.
“W-Wonyoung?” he mumbled, his voice groggy.
“Shh, it’s okay,” she cooed, her voice soft and soothing. “Just relax.”
His gaze sharpened as he realized what was happening. “What… what are you doing?” he said, his voice slurred as the sedative began to take effect.
He tried to sit up, but his limbs felt heavy, his movements sluggish. Panic flashed in his eyes as he attempted to push her away.
“Wonyoung, stop,” he slurred, his strength fading.
“I can’t,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I can’t let you leave me. I need you, Y/n. Don’t you see? We’re meant to be together.”
He struggled against her, his body weak but his mind racing. “This… isn’t love,” he managed to say, his words barely audible.
“It is,” she insisted, her voice breaking. “It’s the purest love there is. I’m doing this for us. For you.”
Y/n’s vision blurred as the drug fully took hold. His head lolled to the side, and his body went limp. The last thing he saw before everything went dark was Wonyoung’s tear-streaked face hovering over him, a mix of desperation and obsession etched into her features.
Wonyoung sat beside him for hours, her hand gently stroking his hair as he lay unconscious. She whispered promises to him, vowing to make him understand, to show him that they were destined to be together.
“You’ll see, Y/n,” she murmured. “You’ll realize that no one can love you the way I do. No one will ever understand you like I do.”
Her tears had dried, replaced by a chilling sense of determination. She had crossed a line, but she didn’t care. Nothing else mattered now—only him.
He was hers. And she would never let him go.
The news broke like wildfire across Korea: “Jang Wonyoung, the Diva of IVE, Has Gone Missing.”
Fans were devastated, flooding social media with hashtags, prayers, and theories. Was it an abduction? Had she run away to escape the pressures of fame? The police were tight-lipped, but the public was frantic. News outlets speculated endlessly, painting a picture of tragedy for one of Korea’s brightest stars.
But the truth was far darker.
Far from the glitz and glamour of Seoul, in a secluded countryside church, Wonyoung stood radiant in her wedding dress. The ornate lace fabric clung to her like a second skin, her beauty almost ethereal. Her lips curled into a serene smile, her dream finally realized.
Beside her stood Y/n, dressed in a formal suit, but his face betrayed no joy. His once-bright eyes were now dull, lifeless. The man who had fought so hard to escape his past had been subdued, stripped of his will. He moved robotically, his body weakened from the drugged haze that Wonyoung kept him in.
The church was empty, save for them. There were no friends, no family, no witnesses. It was exactly how Wonyoung wanted it. This moment wasn’t for the world—it was for them alone.
“You look so handsome, my love,” Wonyoung whispered, her voice tender as she adjusted his tie. “I’ve waited for this moment my entire life.”
Y/n’s lips twitched, but no words came. He had stopped resisting days ago. His silence didn’t bother Wonyoung anymore. She believed that, in time, he would come to accept her love again.
The officiant, a man Wonyoung had hired for discretion, cleared his throat and began the ceremony.
“Do you, Jang Wonyoung, take Y/n to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”
Wonyoung’s eyes gleamed with joy. “I do.”
“And do you, Y/n, take Jang Wonyoung to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”
Y/n remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor. Wonyoung gently squeezed his hand, her nails digging into his skin.
“Answer him, my love,” she said sweetly, though her tone carried an edge.
“…I do,” Y/n muttered, his voice barely audible.
The officiant nodded. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Wonyoung turned to Y/n, her eyes glistening with tears of happiness. She cupped his face, forcing him to look at her.
“This is our beginning,” she whispered before pressing her lips to his in a possessive kiss.
The couple settled into their new home, a sprawling estate surrounded by high walls and dense forests. It was isolated, designed to keep the outside world away—and Y/n inside.
Wonyoung walked through the grand hallways, her arms wrapped tightly around Y/n’s as if afraid he might slip away. She beamed with contentment, her dream fully realized.
“Isn’t this perfect?” she said, her voice full of glee. “Just you and me, forever.”
Y/n didn’t respond. He walked alongside her, his steps heavy, his gaze empty. The man he once was had been consumed by her relentless obsession.
But to Wonyoung, it didn’t matter.
She had won.
No one else would ever have him. No one else could touch him. Y/n was hers—completely, irrevocably, eternally.
As they sat by the fireplace that night, Wonyoung rested her head on his shoulder, her smile serene.
“This is love,” she said softly, her fingers lacing through his. “And I’ll never let you go again.”
The flames crackled in the hearth, casting long shadows across the room. Outside, the world continued to mourn the disappearance of Jang Wonyoung. But inside, she was happier than she had ever been.
The end
#kpop#kpop x reader#kpop x y/n#x male reader#beautiful#yandere#yandere stories#yandere kpop#yandere wonyoung#obsessive yandere#actually obsessive#obsession#regrets#pain#dark Romance#want
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To Be Popular - JJK [Chapter 1]
Pairing: Social Media Influencer! Jungkook X Marketing Manager! Reader ft. Yoongi
Summary:
You love everything about social media - apart from the ever-growing number of social media influencers. You don't understand how these people gain followers and admirers just by installing a camera and doing very basic things in front of it. And you despise how some of them can do anything to gain fame, to be popular - even if it includes uploading their bedroom scene in pornsites aka people like Jeon Jungkook. But when your company launches a new product and your department head tasks you with signing Jeon Jungkook up as an endorsement partner - you have no choice but to chase him like the corporate slave that you are. However, things turn worse when you embroil in a dating rumor with him and have to keep the game going for the sake of everything. is it really for the worse or things will turn in a way you never expected it to?
Theme: Strangers to lovers au, fake dating au, kind of enemies to lover au, angst, smut, fluff.
Full Series Word Count: 26k
Chapter word count: 5.8k+
Warnings: tiny flirting, argument, that's all.
Masterlist | Patreon (For access to the complete series)
Taglist requests are open.
Minors, I am not responsible for what you consume online. So, act more rationally and stay away.
Chapter index: -
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
Or read the full series right away on Patreon!!
Thanks to the every possible gods out there, you are capable of keeping your poker face even when your insides are burning with rage.
Like right now.
First of all you landed in a proposition with one of the people you don’t even like, that too, with the most insufferable one in question.
Secondly, your superiors are treating him as if he has won a gold medal or something.
Min Yoongi - the man who is known for his nonchalance and quiet wisdom, can’t seemingly stop giving his gummy smile to this guy, Jeon Jungkook.
Mrs. Lee, who is probably double the age of the guy, is ogling him as if it's a zombie apocalypse and she hasn’t seen another male for thirty years or so.
When they both turn to you, you realize they are probably waiting for you to react the same way as them.
Too bad, you are not even the least bit amused.
After greeting both of the superiors, Jeon Jungkook looks at you - with those big ass googly eyes. A kind smile plays on his lips.
He extends his hand with a soft “nice to meet you.”
Well. definitely not the same. You scream internally but you compose yourself and return his smile, somewhat half-assed, as you wrap your small hand around his big veiny ones (the same hand that does those dirty deeds with others of his stature).
“Nice to meet you too.” you murmur only because Yoongi is giving you those eyes you absolutely love and hate at the same time.
Yoongi gestures to Jungkook to take the seat, “So, Mr. Jeon. I assume you have gone through our proposal already?”
“Umm.. yeah. My manager did go through your proposal and briefed me.” Jeon Jungkook says with a voice that doesn’t match that gruff, breathy one from the video.
Why the fuck do I keep thinking of the video? You inhale a long breath.
“Okay so.. Is there any question in your mind? Or do you want me to go through it all once again?” Yoongi adds good naturedly.
“Umm no actually. I came here to decline your offer.” Jungkook drops the bomb. If you are low-key happy then you don’t let it show on your face.
“W-what? Why? Is there any part of the offer that is not up to your liking? We can revise it anytime you want.” Mrs. Lee butts in.
“Uh. no not that. I personally don’t like to use the devices that your company manufactures. All of your laptops are so bulky, the chassis is always too old-fashioned. It’s not something Jeon Jungkook would use, you know what I mean?” Jungkook reasons smugly, as he leans on the backrest of his chair and crosses his legs.
You hear blood rushing to your brain and before any of your superiors can say anything you start speaking, “oh really? Must be tough to carry our laptops to a pornset or something, huh?”
You see Jungkook’s eyes going comically wide as he tries to register what you have just said.
“What? What are you talking about?” he semi-screams. His attention is now trained only and only on you.
“You know very well what I am talking about, Mr. Jeon.” you lean on the table just as smugly. Under the table Yoongi kicks on your shin but you dodge his attack at the right time.
Jungkook laughs. A big, thunderous laugh, “I don’t see it being any of your business to question what I do in my free time, is it?”
You smirk. If he thought you are going to back off that easily, he was wrong, “it definitely is not. But the fact that we chose to offer you this endorsement deal despite your current public reputation, tells a lot about our dedication towards charity.”
“Oh.. so this is a charity huh?” Jungkook narrows his eyes at you, “sorry to tell you but Jeon Jungkook doesn’t need any charity.”
With that Jungkook stands up and gales at you for one last time before he storms out of the room.
Yoongi slams his head directly on the table making you wince at the loud thud.
“Y/N! What do you think you did?” Mrs. Lee screams in horror.
“What?” you shrug in nonchalance, “he was going to say no anyway.”
“Y/N” Yoongi finally says, probably after struggling not to punch himself in the face for inviting you to the meeting, “we could have negotiated if you chose to stay silent.”
“But I only said what’s true. This collaboration could have saved his face. He was the one who chose to be an ass- I mean, inconsiderate.” you argue.
“Oh really? Then why don’t you show him what’s right?” Yoongi says in a sugary voice, one that’s not really good news.
“What do you mean?” you question, suspicion landing on your brain.
“You need to bring him back if you love the year-end appraisal or you can kiss your promotion goodbye.” he says in a collected voice.
“What? Yoongi! You can’t do this!” you stand from your seat, and Yoongi only smirks at you.
“Oh I definitely can. I can also submit a formal complaint against you calming that you have messed up an important deal. Do you want that?”
You stay silent, questioning your life choices, your career choices. Cursing at the every god above for making you a human when you could have been a worm.
No job, no money issues, no Min Yoongi, no Jeon Jungkook - only soil and dirt.
You sit on the chair again, cover your face with both of your hands and curse “fuck everyone”.
Your eyes zero on your phone this time. The insta handle is burning too bright for the darkness of your room. Honestly, tapping the name is currently hurting your pride.
But what can you even do - you are a corporate slave after all. And the crush you have on your direct superior, prevents you from being rebellious.
But more than just that - you know you were wrong.
Your hate towards the social media influencers clan is pretty much ridiculous and apparently has no reason.
Is it due to your underlying insecurity? Is it because you believe you are inferior to them? While they make hundreds of dollars per hour, you make a dime?
You probably hate Jeon Jungkook because he is the same age of yours and yet has everything you don’t? - like an amazing sex life.
As you tap on the story, it takes you into a video with all colors of gleaming lights. Clearly a club. Loud music blares through your phone speaker, almost paralyzing your ears.
You can’t see Jeon Jungkook on the screen, obviously because he is the one recording the video. But you can hear him whooing in the background. There are some girls around him for obvious reasons.
Suddenly you feel jealous of him again.
He is of your age and he is enjoying a night out at a posh club while you are on your bed, with your ugly pajamas on and you can’t go out because you have work tomorrow.
As soon as the word “work” registers in your mind, you remember you have been tasked with bringing Jungkook back.
You look at the screen again. He has added the location, which means you can find the club, find him and apologize (oh god no!) and beg him for another meeting.
Yes. That's a nice plan. You can then mourn for your dead self-respect with a bucket full of ice-cream.
You have picked the shortest possible dress you own.
It’s a shimmery black bodycon that reaches your mid-thigh. The noodle strap of the bodycon dress gives a tempting view of your collar-bone and cleavage.
You have let your hair lose - you look the best like this. A touch of makeup and you are all ready.
You know you are attractive but will that be enough for the bouncers to let you inside that posh club? You pray it’s enough.
When the taxi drops you in front of the well-known club in Gangnam, you spot the line. And thankfully, the queue is not at all terrible.
Since the clock hasn’t hit 10:00 pm yet, the entry is free.
When you reach in front of the bouncers, they give you a once-over, then look at each other. Your hands feel clammy because they have rejected almost everyone before you. If you are not wrong then only two of the visitors were let in.
But then one of them brought the stamp out and held it in front of your face. You gave him your wrist with a squeal of joy.
You let yourself go blind and deaf with the glaring lights and loud music. Wherever you look, you see people attached to people. Some are dancing, some are drinking, some are making out, some are just standing and talking with drinks in their hands.
You don’t think you have seen this amount of strangers all year.
You will admit - you feel alive.
But no! No Y/N! You are here with a motive, you can’t let yourself be distracted!
In the story, Jungkook seemed to be close to the bar island. Even though that was more than an hour ago, you still start looking for the bar island.
“Why are there so many bars?” you mumble to yourself as you scan the entire floor. There are at least four bars here, there must be more on the upper floor.
You start feeling helpless at once. All these strangers around you, wrapped in wealth, some giving you long looks - trigger your social anxiety.
Bad decision. It’s a bad decision. You should probably just run away.
But when you are about to take an u-turn, you see him.
You see Jeon Jungkook on the dance floor, grinding on a red-headed pretty looking girl.
He looks - like a fucking wet dream.
A black baggy jeans, a black t-shirt, some bulky golden chains, his dark hair gleams under the lights. His lip ring shines directly on your eyes and you snap back.
Great. Now that you have found him.. You can proceed with your plan - which is to beg him.
Without a second thought, you start stepping on the dance floor.
There are not a lot of people, so you easily get past everyone and stand there behind him.
Your eyes drop on his ass, then his hands, his veins and you question your life choices.
Somebody just crashes on you making you lurch forward.
Your body slams against Jungkook’s back. You are about to apologize when he reaches behind with his hand and grabs your side. He grinds his ass on you without even looking at your face.
You feel nauseous. This is the second time you are meeting him and the proximity is very scandalous.
Placing your hand on top of his, you break free from his hold.
“Jeon Jungkook, can I please talk to you for a moment?” you scream in his ears.
He doesn’t stop moving, but you know he has heard you.
Jungkook slowly moves on his feet while vibing and then turns to face you.
His mischievous eyes bore into yours as he takes you in slowly. He shamelessly eyes your cleavage then looks back up your face.
“What?” he screams over the music.
“Not here. Can we go somewhere quiet?”
He smirks at you, “oh? Already? Wait- have I seen you before?”
Your blood turns cold, “no. I mean yeah. Actually-”
“You- that obnoxious employee from Techtonic? Right?” his eyes go wide.
“Obnoxious? I am obnoxious? Then what are y-” you inhale, “Yes. I am Y/N. You are right. I am from Techtonic. Can I please have a word with you?”
“No? Why would I spare my precious time on you? So that you can insult me again?” he frowns at your figure before starting to walk away.
You grab onto his hand, “Please. I am here to apologize. I promise.”
He looks back, takes a look at the place you are touching him and then looks at you, “if I give you a chance… What will you give me in return?” Jungkook challenges.
What in the world did you get yourself into?
You don’t have a single drop of alcohol in your veins.
I repeat - you don’t have a single drop of alcohol in your veins then what is making you feel so lightheaded?
If it’s the spicy citrusy smell that Jeon Jungkook’s emitting then you won’t admit it even if you end up dying.
“Tell me, Y/N. What will I get if I give you another chance?” he challenges again. This time his tongue pokes out of that perfectly small round mouth and plays with the glinting lip ring.
You don’t understand the science of hearing him clearly despite the sound of loud music and the loud beating of your heart.
“I- anything. Anything you ask for.” you choke out, uncertainty lacing your voice.
“Anything I ask for?” Jungkook comes impossibly close to your body.
You can see long fingers with even longer nails circling around his torso. The red-headed girl is clinged around him.
“If- If I can afford that.” you choke out again.
“Oh.. you definitely can.” he smirks like a devil. All the smug pride drains from your body at the thought of what he might be asking from you.
“Come with me.” Jungkook whispers briefly as he takes your hand and guides you through the crowd towards the upper floor.
The piece of skin, where his fingers are holding your wrist - burns.
You are ashamed, nervous, afraid - all in all you want to die.
Just a week ago you were scoffing at your laptop watching this guy make fame out of a porn video and now he is leading you god knows where to do god knows what.
Before you could take in your surroundings, Jungkook slams you on the nearest wall. He wastes no time in locking you between his arms.
“You really came here only to convince me? You had no other intention, huh?” He asks with the lowest possible voice. A shiver runs down through the path of your spine.
“No. What intention would I even have? I fucked things up at the meeting so my superiors are making me clean the mess.” Your voice comes out firmer than what you thought you could manage.
“Oh? Really? But I think there is something else to it.” Jungkook comes closer to your body. His chest touches yours. You take a sharp inhale but keep the eye-contact intact.
Jungkook’s eyes dip down to your chest again as he continues, “you want what you watched in that video, don’t you?” he wets his lips once those vile words come out of his mouth.
Your jaw hits the floor almost, “what the fuck? What makes you think I want you?”
Jungkook invades whatever was left off of your personal space and whispers right into your ear, “If you accept it nicely, tell me the truth whether you got turned on or not, I will give your company a chance.”
You gulp at his offer.
If you say you were completely unaffected after watching him fucking his partner so well, then it will be a lie for sure.
So… if you swallow your pride and tell him that he indeed had some kind of effect on you - he will be up for another meeting?
“And what if I tell you the truth?” you question, looking deep into his chocolate eyes. All you see there is mirth.
“I will schedule another meeting with your company. But I will be declining you all again.” Jungkook adds nonchalantly.
You scoff at that, pushing him away and making some space between your bodies, “so you are just going to use my confession and insult me in my workplace?”
“Oooohhhh… You are not dumb, I see?” he muses, stumbling back from your body.
“Wh-what? Dumb? You thought I am dumb? Mind you, Jeon Jungkook, I get paid for doing actual work and not because I keep hollering at a dumb computer screen in front of camera.” anger flares through every vein in your body.
“And yet you came here to beg me?” he shrugs smugly.
“You know what? Fuck you and your stupid followers who feed your stupid ego!” screaming at his face, you take steps away, stomping on the floor even if your heels are killing you already.
This was a bad idea. Indeed a bad idea.
You don’t get paid for dealing with these scumbags. So it’s not your responsibility. It’s better to have your appraisal compromised than falling in the trap of Jeon Jungkook.
You imagine Jungkook’s face in the place of the ice cream tub as you stab your fork in it with as much fierceness as you could find in yourself.
Yes, you are eating ice-cream with a fork, so that you can imagine Jungkook’s face and stab in it.
“Fucking nutjob! What do you even think of yourself!” stab stab stab “Karma will hit you back very soon! You fucking asshole!” stab stab stab.
As if granting your prayers, the cosmos sends a notification to your device. You take the phone to see Yoongi's instagram handle that has sent you a text.
You start blushing instantly.
“Is this the universe’s way of making up for today’s trashy encounter?” you murmur to yourself as you open his text.
It’s a link so maybe it’s one of those cat videos he sends you the links of.
As you tap on the link, it takes to a post that has been made just an hour ago. The post - a video, containing proofs of Kim Doona (the influencer Jungkook fucked) being a high school bully. The video has texts sent by Doona to the victim, threatening her not to reveal anything.
Looks like Karma mistook the address. It should have been Jeon Jungkook!
You go to the comments.
All of their followers are going crazy, it’s just the same shit in different sentences. So you scroll past it all.
But there are two comments that catch your eye, actually one comment and its reply.
Commenter: Can’t believe Jeon Jungkook chose her out of everyone? A class bully? Really Jeon? You could do better.
Reply 1: What are you even saying? Jungkook probably didn’t even know and mind you, none of them confirmed if they were together or not. Reply 2: but girl, they f*cked on camera! Reply 3: How does that confirm their relationship? Reply 4: Jeon Jungkook has a girlfriend, I caught them at the club just a few hours ago. The proof is in my story.
Eh? Kim Doona isn’t his girlfriend? That was a rumor? He has another girlfriend who was with him at the club?
But you were at the club too, you should have seen them. Is it that red-head girl?
All of these questions swirl inside your head as you tap on the person’s story.
The video is taken amid a mass of bodies, trying to be discreet, but you can recognize Jeon Jungkook, leading a woman through the crowd.
Your heart stops beating for a moment when you realize it’s you. Your face is not visible properly, curtained by your hair, and you are thankful for that.
The video continues as Jungkook takes you towards the quiet corner. The person, who’s recording, moves too for getting a clearer view.
Now he is hiding behind the end of the wall that Jungkook had pressed you on. The video shows how he had towered you in, whispered in your ear and smirked at you. But then it gets cut right before you push him away!
“Fuck! I am not his girlfriend! Are you people blind? How do we look like a couple?!” you scream at your phone.
You decide you have had enough humiliation today. Hence, putting your phone in charge and traveling towards dreamland is a better idea.
This fiasco may die down by the morning. People will definitely defy the girlfriend theory because you two don’t look like a couple. And your face wasn’t even properly visible in the video. So yeah let sleep solve your problems.
Except - nothing solves.
When you wake up and take your phone out of charge, you grasp so hard that your phone slips from your hold and lands on the bed with a thud.
You have a thousand new follow requests on your instagram account. There are a ton of texts from various people in Ktalk and most of them have sent you insta links.
You open your younger sister’s text. She has sent everything in caps:
Y/N!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS??? [Link] YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU ARE DATING JEON JUNGKOOK????????
You type your reply:
Calm down. I am not dating that douchebag.
And then you tap on the link.
The post that the link takes you to, can rival your natal chart. It’s a detailed discussion of who you are, what’s your job, how do you look, where you have probably met Jungkook and your insta handel.
They have also attached a photo of Jungkook talking to you standing in the middle of the dance floor.
“Fuck fuck fuck!!!!” you curse and curse and curse.
Why are these people dragging you into this mess now? Why do they have to link you up with him? What the hell is even happening?
How are you even going to get to work today?
You shoot a quick text to Yoongi saying that you need a off-day today for obvious reasons. He sends one of those rofl emojis along with a thumbs up and you try not to feel down.
Yoongi doesn’t really understand what you feel for him? Does he?
You mean you are embroiled in a dating rumor with someone else and he seems to be just fine?
It’s just another confirmation that he doesn’t reciprocate your stupid crush on him.
Just when you are about to keep your phone aside and sleep some more, you get a call from an unknown number.
You don’t think much before receiving it.
“Hello, who’s this?” your voice is still groggy and your stomach rumbles as you speak on the phone.
A sweet cherry voice rings in your ear, “Hello, is this Y/N?”
“Yes. and you?”
“I am Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jungkook’s manager.”
The remnant of sleep flies away from your eyes as the man introduces himself. Why is Jeon Jungkook’s manager calling you this early in the morning!?
“How can I help you?” you voice, not trying to mask your confusion.
“Y/N, I assume you are aware of the situation, right? I mean the rumors?”
“I am aware and currently waiting for Mr. Jeon to decline the speculations.” you state as firmly as possible.
“About that… Why don’t we discuss before revealing anything?”
You frown at that.
“Discuss? What is there to discuss? You know well that I got to know Mr. Jeon via a professional connection, there is nothing else added to it, except for the fact that I visited the club to convince him for another meeting. And all of these things happened.”
“Exactly. I know it all and I also know that it’s not nice to be dragged into this mess but we, me and Jungkook, have a proposition to make. We can use this situation for both of our benefits for strictly business purposes.”
You sigh, “I don’t understand what you are trying to say Mr. Kim.”
“Yes. That is only natural. So, why don’t we meet face to face and get down on the details of the proposition? You can bring a friend or family if you are not comfortable meeting us alone. How does lunch sound?”
You think for a moment. You could probably take Jimin with you? Even though it’s monday, he will squeeze some time out of his schedule if you promise him free lunch.
“Okay. I will send you a confirmation text in this number.” you reply before cutting the call and directing your fingers towards Jimin’s text.
He has sent you a similar array of texts, so hopefully he won’t have too many questions to ask. He will understand once you give him a brief.
“I will tell you everything, can you meet me for lunch? I need to meet Jeon Jungkook and his manager for obvious reasons. Free lunch will be offered.”
His reply comes within a few moments,
“I’m in. I will pick you up just text me the time.”
You now type a text to Kim Seokjin confirming him the meeting as he texts you the time.
Just when you are about to go to Jimin’s inbox again, another unknown number sends you a text.
Annoyance flares through your veins as you open it. It says:
“See you soon, pornaddict.
– Jeon Jungkook.”
You groan at the choice of nick name, “Fuck you, Jeon!”
You don’t understand many things.
But currently, you don’t understand why this fine-as-fuck man is Jeon Jungkook’s manager slash assistant.
He goes by the name Kim Seokjin.
When he smiles at you, you melt. And to compose your flustered state you look at Jeon Jungkook - the (current) bane of your existence.
He gives you a lopsided smile that obviously is fake, leaning down against the sofa seat absorbing as much sunlight as possible.
You don’t give him any reaction.. Beside you, Jimin introduces himself to both of the men.
“Miss Y/N. Thank you so much for coming.” Seokjin says in a pleasant tone. His voice sounds like honey dripping from a silver spoon.
You nod, “Yeah. Alright, Mr. Kim, can I ask about the proposition you were talking about?”
“Call me seokjin. And sure, let’s get into the important details.” he pauses to give you a sweet smile then opens his ipad and scrolls through something. Jungkook, too, scrolls through his phone so unamusedly as if he has been dragged here without his consent.
“So, as you already know, the situation is out of hand now. We tried to take down the initial posts but the photos and videos spread like fire.” he speaks calmly. You nod along with him, Jimin too gives the older man his utmost attention.
“On the other hand, our Jungkookie has been interacting with people, who are currently embroiled in controversy.” noted: Seokjin called Jungkook as Jungkookie and he is talking about Doona.
You see Jungkook rolling his eyes.
“If it wasn’t not for you, then he would be dragged down in the mess too.” Seokjin continues, “I know it’s not nice to be the center of unwanted attention and it is already causing you damage but… we need your help. Jungkook needs your help.”
Jungkook makes a very unapproving sound from his seat.
“What help? How can I even help you guys?” you are now extremely confused. Why would Jeon Jungkook, out of all people, need your help?
“Date him.” Seokjin proposes.
“What?” you and Jimin scream in unison.
“Not for real. Calm down. I meant to say, if you pretend to be his girlfriend before the world, on social media, it will help Jungkookie in defying possible criticism and hatred.” Seokjin explains calmly.
However, you are anything but calm.
Whatever criticism Jeon Jungkook faces, it is simply his own problem. You have nothing to do with it. What is your benefit by being involved with him?
As if reading your mind Seokjin now states, “in return, Jungkookie will sign an exclusive deal with your company for not only one but any kind of future collaboration your company wants with him, that too, at a discounted price.” he winks at you.
Your jaw hits the floor.
“Hyung! What the fuck! Where is this discount coming from?” Jungkook finally opens his mouth for the first time.
“Cool. I’m in.” you reply in a heartbeat. Jimin clutches your wrist under the table.
“Y/N! Aren’t you even going to think?” he whisper-yells in your ear.
“There is nothing to think about. This is a very good deal, Jiminie. I will be hard-pressed to let such an opportunity go.” you whisper back.
“But-”
“I knew you would be an intelligent one” Seokjin cuts off your friend with a cherry tone, “I look forward to working with you” he extends his hand, you take in him with a shake. The shit-eating grin is lighting up your face.
Jungkook sits there throwing daggers at you with his eyes.
“It’s all because of you! You fucked things up!” Jungkook’s loud voice invades the serenity you were enjoying while waiting for Jimin to show up with his car.
You turn your head in astonishment and give him wide eyes, “My ears must have gone cold. You are saying thanks and I am hearing something completely different.”
“No! You are hearing it right, I said you fucked things up. Only if you didn’t show up at the club-”
“Then people would be dragging you down in twitter and instagram for fucking a school bully on camera.” you finish the sentence for him.
Jungkook clicks his tongue and the smirks, “you know what? I can see how bad you are down for me. Is this all a part of your plan?”
You smirk back, folding your hand in front of your chest, “FYI, your manager reached out to me to help you out. I am doing you a favor and you are returning it. Got it?”
“Again.. Again that nasty attitude of yours.” Jungkook steps towards you, “you know what… I kinda like it.”
He breathes directly on your face.
The puff of his breath lands on the apple of your cheeks making a blush creep up without your notice.
“Make sure you save my number, girlfriend. See you tomorrow.” he leans down and whispers the last words in your ears and then disappears inside the parking lot.
You stand there, catching your breath and questioning your decision for the first time since the proposition landed on your lap.
But wait? What does he mean by ‘see you tomorrow’?
Somebody must have pressed a replay button on the cassette of your life.
If not then it’s certainly a deja vu, because the scene that’s unfolding is exactly the same as what happened last week.
You are sitting inside the conference room, with Yoongi and Mrs. Lee and there is Jeon Jungkook sitting right across from you.
The only thing that seems changed today is his attitude - which is a little more tamed.
And oh… your clothes too.
“This is so nice of you to come forward and ask for a meeting after whatever happened last time.” Mrs. Lee speaks in a sickeningly sweet tone. You wanna roll your eyes but decide against it.
“Ah. no no. Miss Y/N is really competent at what she does. The credit goes to her. Even though things went south for the first time, we figured out that we actually are very compatible and working together will be beneficial for both of us. Right?” Jungkook directs his question towards you.
“Uh- yeah. Hahahaha. Yeah.” you honestly don’t know what to reply. He is obviously faking it and you need to fake it too but Yoongi is sitting right beside you and he is staring at you and you are on the verge of losing your sanity.
“I’m sorry if I am overstepping any boundaries but I can’t help being curious if the rumors are true?” Yoongi barges in. He looks at you and then Jungkook, expecting an answer or a reaction.
Before you can say something - something you don’t even know what, Jungkook decides to answer.
“Only time will tell.” he smiles at Yoongi.
The amount of weird glances you are receiving from your colleagues is astronomical.
For most of them it’s just eyeing you up and down and for some of the brave ones, it’s throwing impromptu comments like “oh, Y/N is a celeb now.”
You want to punch them on their faces.
Nevertheless, you don’t want a new trouble right when you manage to fight one crisis in exchange for your name and relationship status.
You scroll through company social media accounts and start planning for all the new content that’s going to drop as soon as Jungkook’s done with the photoshoot.
Your phone chimes with a notification. When take it in your hand to see it’s a text from the devil himself:
“In front of the parking lot. Come in five minutes.”
Your eyes close in frustration. You haven’t even stepped into the deal properly and he has started ordering you already.
But what can you even do, you dug your own grave after all.
It takes you seven minutes to reach the parking lot - obviously because you work on the sixteenth floor and the elevators don’t run on your will.
When you find Jungkook waiting for you at the mentioned location with his bike, you find him kind of intriguing.
It’s been long, embarrassingly long, since you have had a guy waiting for you. Even though you know it’s fake. You can turn blind eye for a moment and let yourself believe otherwise.
“You are late.” he says with a pout.
You lose your sanity only a little.
“Sorry. The elevator didn’t listen to me when I asked it to run fast.” you reply.
“Haha. very funny.” he replies animatedly then reaches for his backpack and plucks out a document folder.
“What is this?” you question naturally.
“The dating contract for our fake relationship.” he shrugs, extending the folder towards you, “Hyung asked you to go through it meticulously. You can add or reduce any term you don’t see fit. We will finalize it and announce our fake relationship officially once you are done. You have time till Friday.” he recites flatly, “also, you can’t tell anyone just yet. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever-”
“Y/N?” someone calls you and it’s not Jungkook.
You whip your head to see Yoongi is standing a few feets away inside the parking space with keys in his hand.
Your stomach feels funny at his unreadable expression.
And then you feel a pair or lips pressing down on your cheeks.
Jungkook kisses you before parting and saying, “Hasta la vista, baby”
You freeze at your stop. You can see Yoongi’s eyes narrowing on you. Jungkook hops on his bike and leaves within a moment.
You stand there, staring apologetically at the man you like and he sports an expression you can’t comprehend.
“So.. the rumors were true, huh?” Yoongi finally voices after what feels like an eternity.
“No- I-” also, you can’t tell anyone just yet. Got it? Jungkook’s words reel inside your head, “yes” you lie, crossing your fingers behind you.
“Congratulations” Yoongi greets before flashing his gummy smile at you and then leaving you there to look for his car.
“You really don’t care, do you?” you ask him. Even though you know he can’t hear you. There is a mixture of different emotions inside your gut and you are way too tired to name any of those.
@phenomenalgirl9 @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie @mikrokookiex @jjk174 @lallataegi @savageyoongi @jwnghyuns @parapiop7 @futuristicenemychaos @armystay89 @ryryvna @purple-realms
read the full series right away on Patreon!! (Start from part 4)
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As If In A Dream
Zayne x gn!Reader
Sooooooo I had a thoughtttt..... I'm sorryyyy ;-;
@comatosebunny09 Here's the fic for the idea I told you about 💀
Warnings: fluff, angst, domestic fluff, children, cooking, kissing, blood, open ending
Word Count: 1,463
Main Masterlist
First Love and Deepspace Masterlist
Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist
AO3
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"You two! Stop messing around and eat your breakfast!" You turn to the children at the table, hands on your hips. Even though you're trying to scold them, you can't help smiling. The round faces of a boy and a girl smile back at you, cherry-cheeked and giggling. You step away from the stove to kiss both their heads. "C'mon, eat up, you gotta go to school soon!"
With chimes of "Okay!" they pick up their forks and dig into the pancakes you've made. You ruffle their hair and get back to the stove, flipping another pancake onto a plate. Strong arms wrap around you.
"Are they giving you a hard time?" Zayne's chin rests on your shoulder, light kisses peppered behind your ear and on your jaw.
You laugh at the ticklish feeling, but you lean into him all the same. He holds you tighter, as though holding you so close could transfer all the emotions he's feeling into you. Not that he needs to - you know him like the back of your hand already.
"Nah, they're just excited. They're bringing in those cards to school today - of the little monsters, you know?" You add more batter to the pan and kiss his cheek. "You can go ahead and make your plate, I'm almost done."
He hums, shaking his head. "If you're almost done, I'll wait for you."
"Daddy!" your little girl calls out. She managed to get all your energy. Zayne said as much when she kept refusing to be put down for naps, wanting to keep playing all the time.
He gives you one last squeeze and kiss before he pulls away. Your daughter is practically bouncing in her chair with unbridled excitement as he walks over. "What is it, snowflake?" He smooths down her wild hair as he kisses her head.
She points to two cards on the table that sit in between her and her brother. "What one is cooler?"
"What is this about?" he asks, all too aware of the mess he's being invited to step into. Still, he picks up the cards to look at them both.
Your daughter opens her mouth, but your son quickly taps her on the arm. "No, don't say anything!" he reminds her in a hushed voice (though quite loud, enough for you to hear over your cooking). "Just pick what one is cooler!"
He's fighting a smile as he compares the two monsters. Having played with them a few times, he recognizes them both, but feeling strongly one way or the other about either of them isn't exactly his forte when it comes to their designs. "I think they're both cool," he says instead.
Your son gapes up at him. He got your stubbornness. "Nuh-uh!"
Zayne nods. "They both have unique and interesting qualities that make them stand out. See-" He points to the long, catfish-like whiskers of the first monster, crouching down between them so they can both see what he's doing. "This one has very cool whiskers that it uses to sense things around it to see. And this one-" He points to the drill-point arms it has. "It can use these to dig through the dirt really fast. I think these are both just too cool to compare."
You turn off the stove and walk over with a plate full of pancakes. "What do you think?" Zayne asks before the kids can. They watch with eager eyes as you take the cards and look at them.
"Hmm..." You purse your lips, squinting playfully at the little monsters. "I think... You're gonna be late for school." You smile as you hand them back their cards, which they hurriedly shuffle back into their decks. "Go brush your teeth and get your shoes on.
"Okay!" they chime in tandem again as they rush out of their seats to run down the hall.
“And don’t forget your homework,” he calls after them. Then, Zayne smiles up at you. "That's cheating." He stands and rounds the table, his arms finding their way around your waist once more.
You wrap your arms around his neck, playing idly with his hair. He needs a haircut, but you quite enjoy messing with his longer hair. It slips between your fingers so nicely. "The drill one is much cooler," you tell him quietly.
He chuckles softly. "I rather liked the whiskers one myself."
He leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. Down the hall you can hear the patter of feet and chatter as they get ready. The warm aroma of pancakes fills the air, tinged sweet with syrup. They'll be cool by the time you both get back from walking them to the bus stop, but you don't mind. Not really. Not when you get to heat them back up and eat them with your husband, teasing him for the amount of syrup he uses and stealing sweet kisses.
His smile is infectious. His green eyes are warm and shining. He’s so handsome. You press a light peck to his lips and let your eyes close in bliss.
He says your name. You hum. He says it again. It's muffled. It's much harder to open your eyes now.
When you finally manage, his face is right there. But... he doesn't look the same. His hair is the same length it’s always been. His eyes are sharp, flickering all over your face. His brow is furrowed. He's worried and... he's scared.
You try to speak, but no words come out. Instead, harsh coughs punch out of your chest. Something hot and wet lands on your chin with each cough. He holds something over your nose and mouth; an oxygen mask that eases the strain in your lungs.
"You're alright." He lifts the mask for a moment and wipes your chin with medical tissue. You can feel the rubber of a glove covering his hand, stained thoroughly red. He sets the mask over your mouth again. "Just take deep breaths. We're almost at the hospital."
Hospital...?
Oh.
Right.
There was a Wanderer attack. While you and Zayne were eating lunch, the Metaflux went off the rails and suddenly a whole swarm of them appeared. You forced Zayne to focus on getting everyone else out of harms way while you dealt with the Wanderers. It's your job, after all. It shouldn't have been a big deal.
You try to look down at yourself. There's a lot of red. So much red. Is that all yours...? How can it be? There's so much...
He uses the back of his gloved hand to press against your forehead and lay your head back down. You weakly grab onto his arm. More red.
"Did... everyone get.... out?" It's so hard to speak. Your throat burns. You feel cold.
He nods. "Everyone else is safe. The Wanderers are gone."
You let out a relieved sigh and try to nod.
He looks down at your body. He looks pale. Paler than usual. His attention shoots back to your face when you laugh, weak as it may be.
"Zayne..." Your hand slides down his arm, fingers interlacing loosely with his. He holds on despite the blood. "You should... smile more.... 's pretty....."
He only frowns deeper. "We can worry about that later."
You shake your head. It lolls upsettingly from side to side. "Now...? Please....?"
You look at him and your brain is confused. It keeps searching for that Zayne from moments ago, that looked at you with so much love and warmth in his eyes. The only Zayne here, now, has cold, calculating eyes that try to see through you to figure out exactly what needs to be done to treat you. Maybe if he smiles, you can get even a fraction closer to that Zayne. Your Zayne.
"If I smile now, do you promise to make it through this?" he asks. It's a silly question for how serious his voice is. But you nod regardless.
"Promise....."
It's difficult. Trying to smile when you're fading away right in front of him. He's determined not to let that light fully leave your eyes - he can't let that happen. He swallows, bites his cheek, and does his damndest to force even a slight smile. Whatever he manages to produce seems to be enough for you, because you smile right back, dopey and unfocused.
"So... handsome....." Something akin to a giggle gurgles from your throat, fading off as your eyes flutter shut. His smile falls instantly.
The ambulance stops. He wastes no time opening the doors and helping the EMTs and nurses as they wheel you to an already prepared operating room. He refuses to let that be your last smile. Your last words. Your last anything. He will save you. He has to save you.
---
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YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE | Sebastian Vettel
Sebastian Vettel x Pregnant Wife!Reader
SUMMARY: Seb's wife is pregnant, but she hasn't told him yet since she doesn't seem ready. However, after he almost crashed pretty badly during a Free Practice session, she can't help but tell him in not the best way possible ↳ REQUESTED BY ANON: Okay but can you imagine Sebs wife being pregnant but she has not told him yet. He does some dangerous and bold move on a drive and she gets mad and scared and just some fluff when he finds out :)
WORD COUNT: 1804
WARNINGS: Curse words, mentions of anxiety, overthinking about Formula 1 crashes (?), pregnancy, Ferrari Seb in general (if you know, you know)
TAGLIST: @hc-dutch @raavadakedavra @coffeedestroyingperson @evey-kuznetskova @bowielovesyou @chaoswithus @isotopemylove @iceman-kazansky @gwginnyweasley @formula1-motogpfan @herdetectivetheorist @myescapefromthislife @regalbanshee [in case you wanna be tagged just tell me so i can add you!]
VEE'S NOTES: Hi guys! Finally back to posting fics! This year I don't only want to write more, but also establish some kind of writing routine because I've been dealing with anxiety over Christmas for some personal problems family related and found out that I missed distressing with writing. Also, thank you so much for all the support you've been showing me lately! Appreciate it a lot since I wasn't feeling very comfortable with my writing. Let me know your thoughts on this one <3 ↳ MAKE YOUR REQUESTS | LET'S TALK! | JANUARY UPDATE CALENDAR
© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
Despite being quite far from the pit lane, you could hear nothing but the deafening roar of the engines, the clatter of tools on Kimi's car, and the curses of the race engineers at the constant stunts Seb had decided to pull during the free practice session.
Your husband's red car seemed not just to race but to fly around the track. FP2 had started barely twenty minutes ago, but Seb had already come within inches of crashing into the walls far too many times after going off track more often than you could count.
You couldn't deny that you had loved watching Seb race ever since you met and you learned he was a driver in one of the most dangerous sports in the world. Today, however, luck was not on your side, and anxiety was consuming you. The nausea, uncontrollable on its own, felt even worse than usual. Not to mention, you felt on the verge of a panic attack.
"Are you okay?"
You turned at the sound of Riccardo Adami’s voice, Seb’s race engineer. The Italian removed one side of his headset and covered the microphone to ensure the driver wouldn’t hear anything.
"Yes, yes, of course," you replied hastily, forcing a smile and suppressing the urge to gag as you felt it rising in your throat. "I’m just a bit more nervous than usual today, that’s all."
"Seb knows what he’s doing. Don’t worry about that."
You nodded, but as soon as Adami turned his attention back to his screen, you rolled your eyes and did the same.
"You know, sometimes he thinks that he’s a cat and has seven lives," you muttered under your breath. "Someone should remind him he’s in an actual Formula 1 car, not in a simulator."
"Don’t worry, I’ll remind him in the post-session briefing," the engineer joked, flashing a smile before immersing himself back into Vettel's driving.
You didn’t pay him much attention. Once again, you were entirely engrossed in both your husband’s onboard camera and the telemetry, even though you didn’t understand much aside from the fact that he was setting purple sectors, which was undoubtedly a good sign.
You didn’t know much about the inner workings of the cars, but after so many years with Seb, you knew that the faster his times were, the higher the risks became.
You were also acutely aware that your husband was pushing himself too hard in those moments.
You began to tremble slightly, fidgeting with your hands in an attempt to calm your anxiety, but it didn’t work. Instinctively, and trying not to draw much attention, you placed your hands on your belly and prayed that your child wouldn’t give you any scares like his father was giving you.
"Sector two in purple as well, Seb!"
Even though the garage erupted into cheers and applause, you remained motionless. Instead, you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen, which now showed your husband’s car in full view.
Your panic peaked the moment Seb lost control of the rear of his car and went off the track. You swore that if it hadn’t been for the sudden braking, he would have ended up in the barriers with a wrecked car and himself heading to the medical center because the crash would have likely exceeded the G-force limits.
When Seb didn’t respond immediately, your heart stopped.
"I’m fine, I’m fine..." Seb finally said in a disappointed tone. "But I can’t say the same for the car. I think it’s more damaged than it looks."
"Can you bring it back, Sebastian?" Riccardo asked in a tone that was a mix of irritation and disappointment.
"Yeah, no problem. Coming back. Sorry, guys."
Just as no one on the team said anything to you, you, who had forced yourself to sit down because your legs were trembling too much and you felt dizzy, also remained silent until your husband returned and got out of the car.
Seb removed his helmet, revealing an expression that was hard to decipher. You stood up carefully and approached him, trying to keep your composure. Without giving him a chance to say anything, you grabbed his hand and led him toward his driver room, ignoring Britta's protests to talk after interviews were done.
"It could have been worse, right?"
Sebastian closed the door behind him and turned to face you. You stood there with your arms crossed, visibly upset. Your glare alone was enough to tell Seb he was seconds away from one of your infamous scoldings.
The problem? He had no idea why. You had never acted so strangely over something as common as a collision during a race weekend.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” you exploded, your voice filled with frustration. “Fuck, Seb, can you explain what that was all about?!”
“What do you mean, what was that? I was... racing, like I always do, babe,” he replied cautiously, still clueless about what he'd done wrong.
You, however, didn’t know what was bothering you more: your husband’s calm demeanor or the sight of a few Ferrari team members peeking through the window to catch the drama unfolding between the two of you.
“You were so close to slamming into a wall, Sebastian, that’s what happened!” you shot back, yanking the curtains shut and flipping off the nosy onlookers. “Are you out of your mind or what?!”
“Come on, love, I had it under control. What you saw on the onboard might’ve looked bad, but I swear it wasn’t as dangerous as it seemed.”
“Not as bad as it seemed? Are you seriously telling me that?” you retorted, your voice trembling with anger. “Do you think driving is just like playing a video game now? Do you have any idea what it would’ve meant if you hadn’t reacted in time? Do you know what it would’ve meant for me and for—”
You stopped yourself mid-sentence, refusing to continue.
You knew your emotions were running wild because of your pregnancy hormones, but you forced yourself to calm down. Getting so worked up would only lead to a pointless argument with Seb and wasn’t good for you or the baby.
“For who, Y/N?” Seb asked, stepping closer and gently taking your hands in his.
“For... me! Who else?” you replied quickly.
Sebastian didn’t know how to respond. He’d never seen you so distressed about his racing, and while he tried to stay calm, inside he was battling a storm of worry and confusion.
“This stress isn’t good for me or for the situation you and, well... you’ve gotten me into,” you said, your voice cracking.
“Y/N, babe, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about. Fuck, I’m pretty worried about you right now with all this shit, but if you don’t tell me what’s going on—”
“Damn it, Seb! I’m pregnant!”
You looked down, tears streaming down your face. You clenched your fists tightly, furious at yourself for revealing such big news in such an emotional, unplanned way.
Sebastian, meanwhile, stood frozen, his eyes wide in shock at the unexpected news. Slowly, everything started to make sense: your morning sickness, falling asleep all the time, constantly complaining about being tired, and the flimsy excuses you gave for not drinking wine, something you normally loved.
He cursed himself for not realizing it sooner and for believing your weak justifications about bad leftovers being the cause of everything.
“You’re... pregnant?” His voice was barely audible, almost afraid to say the words out loud because they didn’t feel real.
You wiped your tears and sniffled, doing your best to meet your husband’s gaze without feeling ashamed.
“Yes...” you said timidly. “I wanted to tell you in a special way... you know, by giving you a baby onesie in a box with the positive pregnancy test inside, but...” You shook your head and finally looked him in the eyes. “I thought you were going to die out there today and leave your child and me alone. The thought of losing you, now of all times, just...”
“You’re really pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?”
You nodded, and Seb couldn’t hold back his tears. He pulled you into a tight embrace and began kissing you tenderly. You melted into his arms, feeling an immense weight lifted from your shoulders.
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” you admitted. “I swear I wanted it to be special, but seeing you out there today, thinking something could happen to you...” Your voice broke again. “I was terrified, Seb, like never before watching you race.”
“I’m so sorry, love. I really am,” he said sincerely, cupping your cheeks gently and kissing you over and over. “If I’d known, I would’ve been more careful. God, love, this is incredible... This is the best news I’ve ever received.”
“You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you sooner? You should’ve seen your face earlier...”
“Mad? That you didn’t tell me sooner?” You shrugged, your insecurity showing despite your years together. Seb tilted his head, understanding this was one of your rare but extreme moments of doubt. “I’m just... in shock. I can’t believe we’re going to be parents...”
Sebastian hesitantly touched your stomach, and you burst into fresh tears at the tenderness of his gesture.
“Now you have to promise me something, Seb,” you said, playing with his hair as he knelt before you, leaving kisses on your belly.
“Anything for you and our little one.”
“You need to be more careful from now on. Stop thinking so much with your adrenaline and testosterone, and start using your brain more,” you said, trying not to sound too harsh. “I know Formula 1 and racing is your whole life, but I don’t want you risking it when we’re bringing a new one into the world. I’m eight weeks along, and we still have 32 to go assuming everything follows the perfect pregnancy script.”
Seb stood and gazed at you, trying to convey the calm you both could only find in each other.
“Love, I promise,” he whispered softly. “For you, for the baby... I love winning, but today, and even more so when our child is born, I’ll have won the second most important race of my life.”
You frowned, confused.
“If that’s the second, what’s the most important race of your life then?”
He chuckled and scooped you into his arms, kissing you again as he laid you both on the couch behind you.
“The race I ran for so many years to win your heart,” he murmured between slow, deliberate kisses that said more than words ever could. “After all those years trying to get you to go out with me in high school, and now we’re eight months away from having a baby... what else could it be, mama?”
#formula 1#f1#sebastian vettel#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#formula 1 fluff#f1 fluff#sebastian vettel one shot#sebastian vettel x y/n#sebastian vettel imagine#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel fanfic#sebastian vettel fluff#ferrari#sebastian vettel fic#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#sebastian vettel f1#sebastian vettel x female reader#sebastian vettel x you#ferrari seb#sebastian vettel angst
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ᅠ ✿ ᅠ GIVING YOU MY FOREVER ──── ᅠ ( han taesan )
𝓹recis ⠀ : ⠀when han taesan, your boyfriend, notices you haven’t been answering his texts for the entire day, he sets out to figure out why𑁋only to find you sobbing alone on top of the hill.
ᅠ 한태산 ⠀⠀◜◡◝ ⠀⠀𝒇 reader ⠀wc 0.8k ⠀ genre comfort fluff established relationship ⠀ contains mentions of family issues crying skinship ⠀ note this fic is highkey self-indulgent bc i wrote this when i was having a hard time </3 so it kinda doesn’t make sense? welp ⠀ tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net
ᅠ >︿ please leave feedbacks & reblog
“Hey, here you are.”
You didn’t have to look to know who it was—instead, you sigh deeply, letting the boy settle himself next to you. You throw your gaze far, letting your eyes capture the beauty of the night from atop the hill: the way the stars still shine despite being thousands and thousands of miles away, the way the city lights add a sparkle to the night’s black canvas. You take a deep breath, hoping that the smell of grass and the gentle breeze of autumn would bring some peace to your heart.
“You… okay?” you hear him ask after quite some time. You purse your lips, still not meeting his eyes, afraid all the tears might spill once you do. “You didn’t read my texts for the whole day.”
“M-maybe,” you manage. Your throat feels dry as you force your words out. “I’ll be fine.”
“You know,” he says, after a few moments. He places a hand on yours, his touch gentle and comforting. “You can tell me anything.”
You lower your head.
Please don’t cry.
“I might not understand your pain, I might not fully understand what you’re going through,” he continues, his voice so deep and kind. “But I’m here. I’ll listen.”
“Even if you don’t want to tell me—or if you can’t find the right words to describe how you feel, I’ll be here. Always.”
Under his hand, you clench your own.
“I…”
“Okay?”
You finally look up, turning slightly to meet his gaze. You bite your lower lip as you watch Taesan’s eyes widen slightly at the way your eyes fill with tears. His hands grab yours tight as he offers you a gentle smile.
“I’m sorry,” you croak, lowering your head again as tears begin to spill. Taesan’s grasp remains firm, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “I… I don’t know how to say this…”
Taesan smiles softly, squeezing your hands. “It’s okay. Tell me anything—just say anything that comes to mind, I’ll piece it together.”
“My parents,” you say, your words coming out one by one, in between sobs, “it’s stressing me out– I– is this my fault? Why– why are they fighting? I thought they– love– each other—”
You can’t stop it, your tears falling down your cheeks like raindrops in a storm, unstoppable and overwhelming. Your chest heaves up and down with each sob, your throat tight with a lump that makes your speech difficult to interpret.
“Hey…”
Taesan pulls you into a hug, causing you to hiccup in surprise. It engulfs you like a warm blanket on a winter night—you could smell Taesan: a mixture of champagne orange, passion fruit, sugar vanilla; the perfume his mother had bought for him. Immediately, your tears begin to flow down again, as Taesan’s warmth starts to become one with you.
Taesan doesn’t let go—his embrace of you firm and comforting, telling you he’s there for you through every high and low. Taesan hugs you close, letting your heartbeat converge with his. He lets you cry your heart out in his arms, not giving a care in the world about how your tears are staining his favourite sweater.
“I love you, Y/N,” he whispers, once your tears have subsided.
“But… won’t you fall out of love, one day?” you ask him, resting your head against his chest. You close your eyes shut, trying to remove the memory of witnessing your parents’ fight from your mind.
Taesan kisses the top of your head, resting his chin against it after. “Will I ever?”
“Maybe,” you mumble.
“Darling,” Taesan says, causing butterflies to begin erupting in your stomach. He’s called you that for so many times already, yet it always catches you off guard. “If we love each other truly, we’ll always find a way to make things work, hm?”
He pulls away a little bit, and you look directly into his eyes. Taesan gives you a smile—different from his usual cheeky grin—beautiful, sincere, and ethereal. “Besides, we still have a long way to go before we get married, and before we die. We’ll have plenty of time to learn from our mistakes.”
“Married?” you exclaim, eyes widening. You smack his shoulder in an attempt to hide the blush that’s beginning to form on your cheeks.
“Yeah,” Taesan nods, folding his arms as he holds his neck from behind. “Why? You don’t like it?”
“Well… of course I love it,” you mutter, biting the inside of your cheek. After a while, you turn to him, narrowing your eyes. “But marriage is a serious matter, you know? I—”
Taesan kisses your cheek, grinning as he pulls away. “I know.”
You lock eyes with Taesan, the sparkling night around you, the gentle breeze blowing through.
“And I love you, so seriously, to be doing it in the future. To be giving you my forever.”
― © htaesan, 2025.
#𝑘 ── ✉️ ꒱#k-films#k-labels#⠀ ˊᯅˋ★net.com#boynextdoor scenarios#boynextdoor#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor x reader#bonedo oneshot#bonedo fic#bonedo fluff#taesan#bnd#taesan x reader#taesan boynextdoor#taesan bnd#taesan imagines#han taesan x reader#han taesan#han taesan x you#taesan x you#han taesan fluff#bnd x reader#bnd imagines#bnd fluff#bnd oneshot#bnd fic#bnd taesan#han dongmin
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okay give us your thoughts please !! i need to know
I don’t see the point in them going on tour. I don’t see the point in any YouTuber going on tour if I’m being honest 🤷🏽♀️ especially ones like the triplets. Like let’s be honest, I love them but they don’t do anything THAT special for them to be on stage.
Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t their first tour end up being their friends rapping on stage for majority of it and then the meet and greets were rushed? And then the second tour seemed better but those challenges seemed like something the Dolan twins or a set of YouTube sibling would have done in 2016.
Like I said I love the triplets, but tours are unnecessary for them and I hate to say it, it’s a cash grab🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ cuz if you think about it, they could easily just host meet ups! For fucks sake they could literally do one day pop up shops and sell fresh love, let’s trip, space camp, and hang out with their fans for a day instead and that would be more fun!
I’ve been a fan of multiple YouTubers and I’ve been to multiple tours for these YouTubers and it seemed so fun at the time but as you get older you know it’s literally for the money.
Matt said he’s open to another tour and I think he does like the traveling aspect and meeting fans, but again, what exactly do the triplets do to warrant a tour? They don’t sing, they don’t dance, they are funny but they aren’t comedians. The tours in the past seemed rush…it just doesn’t make sense for me.
Now I’m not hating, and I also don’t want anyone to think I’m calling them out for attending these tours. That’s not what I’m doing at all and I’m actually happy you got to experience them!!! This is just my thoughts and opinions!!!
I’d love to hear everyone else’s!
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𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐠
𝐚/𝐧: am i writing this for myself bc i've been kinda low? yes. yes i am.
Darry Curtis:
Darry is a little caught off guard at first, but the second he sees the pleading look in your eyes, he drops what he’s doing and pulls you close. His arms are strong and secure around you, not letting you go until you move away. He’s incredibly grounding and comforting, making you feel entirely safe.
“I’ve got you, darlin’... You can have as many hugs as you need, alright?” He mumbles into your hair, pulling you tighter as you bury your face into his chest, nodding mutely. His hand runs up and down your back, his fingers tracing slow patterns against your skin, grounding you just the way you need.
Sodapop Curtis:
Soda won't even let you finish your request before he’s pulling you close, his expression soft and his words light. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep you happy, and if a simple hug is all you need, he’s happy to deliver. He’ll squeeze you tightly, swaying you side to side.
“You don’t have to ask for a hug, you know?” Soda glances down at you, his arms still laced around your waist. He brushes your hair back, and you shrug. “I know…” You mumble, tucking yourself close once more. “Just needed one.”
Ponyboy Curtis:
Pony looks a little surprised but is very quick to comply, opening his arms for you and wrapping you up tightly. His hugs are gentle and soothing, and they always linger for a few moments longer than usual, just so that he can ensure you’re okay.
“You okay?” he asks, not pulling away from you. Your shrug tells him everything he needs to know, and he sighs softly, his hold tightening just a little. “If you need anything, I’m here, okay?”
Johnny Cade:
Johnny’s hugs are very soft and tentative, not wanting to crowd you unless you want to be held tightly. His presence is incredibly comforting, and sometimes his quiet nature is just what you need. He’ll stay with you, just holding you for as long as you need.
“Come here…” he sighs, his arms always stretched out for you, and you don’t hesitate before stepping towards him, letting him hold onto you. He doesn’t say anything; he just holds onto you tightly, giving you just the right amount of comfort you need.
Dallas Winston:
Dally’s first instinct when he hears your question is to poke fun at you, but the moment he sees the serious look in your eyes, he softens slightly and pulls you into his lap, his arms winding around your waist. He won't say anything when you tuck yourself into him, simply holding onto you tightly, as if shielding you from the world. “You’re lucky I like you, you know that?” Dallas’ tone is light, but there’s no malice behind his words as his fingers idly card through your hair. “I got you, doll. Ain’t nothin’ gonna hurt you.”
Steve Randle:
When you ask, Steve makes a big show of opening his arms wide, acting as if he’s waiting for this moment forever. He doesn’t press as to why you’ve asked for one or about the randomness of the request; he just lets you cling onto him for as long as you need. “Who would’ve thought you’d want a hug from little old me, huh?” he chuckles, rocking you back and forth as you hold onto him “Hush…” you whisper, peering up at him, unable to resist the smile that tugs at your lips.
Two-Bit Mathews:
Two is surprisingly serious about your request, keeping his teasing at a minimum. He can see how much you need it and instantly wraps you up in a hug, sitting on the couch with you and peppering your face with gentle kisses. “Don’t be getting all sentimental on me…” he chuckles, pulling back as he presses a quick kiss to the corner of your lips. You can only shake your head as you hide your face once more, sighing as he pulls you close.
#the outsiders x reader#darry curtis imagine#darry curtis headcanons#darry curtis x reader#darrel curtis x reader#dallas winston x reader#dally winston x reader#dallas winston imagine#steve randle x reader#johnny cade x reader#sodapop curtis x reader#soda curtis x reader#sodapop x reader#ponyboy x reader#ponyboy curtis x reader#pony curtis x reader#two bit matthews x reader#two bit x reader#two bit mathews x reader
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i'll always say it's you ; yoon jeonghan
summary: you always used to think that even the end of the world couldn’t keep you and yoon jeonghan apart; you’d find your way back to each other somehow. ten years later, you start to wonder if that’s such a good thing after all.
contains: childhood best friends to ??? to ???, swearing, drinking (+ underage), talk of joshua and cheol's arm muscles, mention of drugs in a joke like once i think, caffeine addiction, peak delusion, jeonghan cheating in games as always, hella yearning
word count: 12.98k
a/n: this is lowkey a mess and probably kind of inaccurate loll but i hope u enjoy! feedback always appreciated xx
the me of today hopes for the you of tomorrow
“What about you, Y/N? Have you ever been in love?”
Hearing your own name slowly zones you back into the conversation at the table. You pause at the question, a drop of soju splashing out of the glass in your hand.
“What?”
“Come on, it’s just a silly question,” the young intern says, rolling his eyes. “You’re no fun, Y/N. We’re off work right now! It’s fine,” he drawls, swaying a little in his chair.
You can’t really remember his name right now, downing the glass in one go, but his bold innocence bothers you. Maybe his demeanor, full of life and promise, is what gets on your nerves.
Were you like that when you were fresh out of college, too? It’s so unthinkable to you now, at twenty-nine. It feels like ages in the past.
“So? Are you —”
“I hardly think this is an appropriate conversation,” you say quietly, zipping your bag shut. “I think I’m going to head out, anyways. It’s quite late already.”
“But —”
“Chan, just stop asking questions and drink this, okay?” His friends try and calm him down with a glass of water. Amidst the chatter, you decide to slip away, silently pushing in your chair and leaving the bustling restaurant.
Dinners like this always end up making you feel worse, anyways, like an outlier at a table of people with fervent hopes and dreams of their own.
You make it two blocks until your phone begins to buzz in your pocket, and you fumble to answer it, knowing there’s only one person who would call you at nine o’clock on a Friday night.
“Hello?”
“Oh, you answered,” Yeonju says, evidently surprised. “I thought you’d still be at work.”
“I’m on my way home now,” you tell her. “Why, did something happen?”
“Kind of,” you hear rustling on her end of the line. “Jeonghan called.”
“Huh?”
You had stopped abruptly at Yeonju’s words— foolishly in the middle of the road, and you rush to the sidewalk, still reeling. It’s been so long since you’ve even heard his name that it sends your mind into a tailspin when she says it again.
“I thought you knew,” she says, “He said he tried calling you first, but you wouldn’t pick up.”
“I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t have saved,” you remind her. You haven’t had Jeonghan’s number saved on your phone in a long time. There was no need to keep it if you never used it anymore.
“I think you should talk to him.”
“Yeonju,” you shake your head. “Why would I? There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is, and you know it, too,” she doubles down. “You won’t say it, but I know you agree with me.”
She’s right, as much as you want to pretend otherwise. When has Choi Yeonju ever been wrong about you? Sometimes it scares you how good she is at reading your mind, but as always, she delivers reality checks right when she feels like you need them.
“Maybe,” you admit begrudgingly. “But things are just easier without him.”
“Yeah, well, nothing is ever easy,” she points out, “but take your own time, no rush. And take care of yourself, Y/N.”
“I will,” you say with a faint smile.
“OK, perfect. Call if you need anything else, yeah? I gotta go now.”
“Okay, Yeonju, take care.”
“Bye!”
She hangs up just as you unlock your front door, shutting it behind you and kicking off your shoes. The peace and quiet of your apartment welcomes you, and you sigh in relief as you sink into your couch.
Pulling out your phone again, you scroll through your call log. There are a few unsaved numbers, likely just spam calls, but when you see the same number four times in a row, there’s no doubt about who it might have been. Your finger hovers over the screen; should you? Shouldn’t you?
No, it’s easier to just stay angry. It’s easier to pretend his name means nothing to you anymore.
But even as you toss your phone to the side, Chan’s question still haunts you, like it’s a reminder that maybe you need to retrace your steps and do something different this time.
God, you had finally been able to go a few days without thinking about him, but today just took you right back to square one.
“Have you ever been in love?”
When you close your eyes, all you see is him.
first time feeling my heart race, never thought it'd beat so fast
TEN YEARS AGO
“Yoon Jeonghan, delete that right now or I’m going to kill you.”
Jeonghan shakes his head vehemently, still cackling at the picture of you on his phone. This is nothing new to you; over the years you’ve gotten used to him finding the absolute worst angles of you whenever you fall asleep in class, or on the bus, and it never fails to get you fuming.
In fact, if Jeonghan has one talent, it’s probably pissing you off.
“Not my fault you dozed off like that during lecture! Even Yeonju would have bullied you if she was there,” he teases. “I’ve been collecting bad Y/N photos since we were sixteen and in high school, why would I stop now?”
“You’re evil.”
“Thanks, I know.”
“Dinner’s on you, by the way.”
“What?!”
“Do you want to keep that horrendous picture or not?”
“Okay, fine,” he concedes immediately, slipping his phone into his pocket. “But we’re going back to my dorm first because I left my wallet on my desk.”
"Why would you not have that with you? Dumbass," you scold.
To anyone else, you might sound angry, but somewhere in the unspoken words, you and Jeonghan have already reconciled.
The weather is chilly and perfectly November-esque, and if not for the thick scarf around your neck you’d be shivering by now. Having Jeonghan by your side adds to the warmth spreading throughout your body, a little piece of happiness found in his company.
You’ve never needed to explain yourself to him. Somehow, whatever you’re feeling, whatever’s going on, he just knows, and it’s perfect. You couldn’t ask for anything more.
Not much to your surprise, Jeonghan’s roommate is there when the two of you walk in, blankets piled over him as he hunches over his laptop.
“Hey, Josh,” you greet him. “Everything okay?”
“No,” he frowns, rubbing his eyes, “I may have procrastinated a little too hard on this paper and now it’s due in a couple of hours and I’m totally fucked.”
“This is why I told you to drop that philosophy class at the beginning of the semester,” Jeonghan says, pocketing his wallet. “You don’t even need to take it.”
“Just trying to knock off my humanities electives, but honestly, this one kind of backfired on me,” Joshua admits, defeated. “Where are you guys headed?”
Jeonghan points at you accusingly. “This one tricked me into buying her dinner earlier.”
“I did not!” you gasp. “You walked into that one, stop blaming me for the consequences of your actions! Also, I want ramen, which means we’re going off campus, so you’re driving.”
He narrows his eyes at you as he reaches for his car keys. “You are so evil.”
"Takes one to know one, Hannie."
What throws you off is the way Joshua’s eyes flit between the both of you as you bicker, the way he tells you to have fun in that singsong voice of his as you step back out into the cold, like he knows something you don’t.
You still remember the day you first met him, when Jeonghan left to go grab something after introducing the two of you, and the question that immediately followed.
“Are you guys together or something?”
And of course, Joshua meant no harm — nobody ever does, when they ask something like that. You and Jeonghan have been fielding questions like that since the start of your friendship. Everyone’s wanted to know exactly what it is that you are to each other, and the answer has always come without missing a beat.
Friends, you’ve always said.
Friends in the way that you can’t go anywhere alone in your hometown without being asked where the other one is, the way that your parents always set out an extra plate and ask if he’s joining for dinner as usual.
The right word for it would be ‘inseparable’. Sometimes, though, you wonder if that’s all that it is.
Like now, as you notice the cold has Jeonghan trembling next to you. His teeth are chattering, long lashes framing his eyes that are now narrowed in displeasure.
When you unravel your scarf from around your neck and reach to drape it around his, they go wide in surprise.
“What are you doing?”
“You never wear enough layers, idiot.” You tuck the ends into his jacket and the way he’s staring at you steals the breath out of your lungs.
You can’t run from the fact; your best friend is undeniably attractive. It’s a simple truth, down to his soft but sharp features, the slope of his cheeks, and the hair that frames his face so perfectly. It’s dark out, but Jeonghan’s eyes are lit up like stars. You don’t even realize it until you start to hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
“Thanks,” he says with a faint smile. “What would I do without you?”
“Freeze, probably,” you reply flippantly, but you look away, unable to take the intensity of his gaze on you.
Just think about the way he looks at you, Y/N.
Was Yeonju right? You have no way of knowing, and you don’t want to tip the scales by bringing any of it up now.
“Alright, let’s go,” you say instead, tugging him along to the parking lot. “It’s late, I’m hungry, and you promised.”
“Why do you always seem so excited to drain my bank account?”
“It’s my favorite hobby,” you quip. “Shall we go?”
“We shall, m’lady,” he says as you get to his car, pulling open the door for you with a wink. Your cheeks burn as you get in, his defined features etched into your brain.
Yes, he’s your dearest, oldest friend, but Yoon Jeonghan has a certain way of making your head spin that throws that very title into question.
when half of me is gone, how can i live as one?
PRESENT DAY
It’s been exactly three days since Jeonghan called you, and you haven’t heard from him since then. You don’t know what you were expecting. Another call? A text?
No, it would be quite stupid to hope for such things after everything that’s happened.
It’s a quiet Monday night, and your brain decides to take an involuntary trip down memory lane. Ten years ago today, you’d probably be doing homework frantically, most definitely an assignment you’d put off until the night of. Ten years ago today, Jeonghan would be by your side.
Oh, how some things change over time.
After another hour of mindless TV and doing whatnot on your phone, your conscience finally wins the moral battle against your pride, and you scroll down through your call log again. Taking a deep breath, you decide to call him back before your brain can convince you otherwise.
All the words evaporate out of your mouth when he picks up on the first ring.
“Y/N?”
God, it’s been so long since you’ve heard his voice. Just the sound of your name from him is enough to make you tear up.
“... Jeonghan?”
Silence. After a few seconds your heart sinks, thinking maybe he’s hung up on you and gone radio silent yet again.
Then you hear it, just barely whispered into the phone: “I’ve missed you.”
Those words tug at your heart so badly you press your eyes closed to prevent your tears from welling up. “Jeonghan, don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, I—”
“I haven’t heard from you in over a year,” you cut him off. “A year, Jeonghan. Do you really think you can just ‘I miss you’ your way back into my life whenever you want?”
“Don’t say that,” he implores. “You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah, right.”
“It’s true. I mean it.”
“I’ve heard the exact same line from you so many times,” you tell him, the rest of your words dying in your throat.
You have many more things to say to him, so many unspoken feelings, but now doesn’t feel like the time. Instead, you swallow your anger like you’ve done every time he finds his way back into your life.
“How… how have you been?”
“I’m okay. I wrote a new song,” he says lightly. “Shows have been pretty alright, things are looking up… just the usual.”
“Oh, I see.”
“What about you?”
“I’m okay, too.” A blatant lie. “Jeonghan… why’d you call me on Friday?”
“Oh,” he starts, like he’s surprised you even asked. “Um, I’m actually in town for a bit, so… I was just wondering if you wanted to meet and catch up again. Y’know, like old times.”
It’s the flippant edge in his voice that stings more than anything else, as if he doesn’t care that your friendship hasn’t been the same for years. Do you mean that little to him now?
But, like always, you have a hard time saying no to Yoon Jeonghan.
“Okay,” you agree. “Just tell me where, I guess. And when.”
“Okay.”
It’s not for a few seconds that you realize your cheeks are wet. Jeonghan feels so far away now, the distance hurts like a piercing pain and you have to slap a hand over your mouth so he doesn’t hear you sob against your couch, the stoic wall you put up crumbling away with every passing moment.
“Y/N,” his voice is shaky now. “Y/N, please don’t cry.”
Feeling caught and cornered, your brain enters fight or flight mode, and promptly chooses the latter. “I’m not,” you blurt out, and immediately end the call, tossing your phone across the room so you aren’t tempted to call him again.
If time traveling was an option, you’d go back to a decade in the past without a question. For some reason it hurts more that after all this time, Yoon Jeonghan is still the one that knows you the best.
You wake up the next morning horribly late for work, with a blinding headache and a notification from Jeonghan on your phone.
xxx-xxx-xxxx: is tonight @ semicolon cafe ok with you? after you get off work?
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i won’t take up too much of ur time, i promise
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i’m so sorry y/n
you: its ok. that works, see u then
It’s well past nine o’clock when you finally enter the office. You almost make it to your desk unnoticed until your boss glances at you sneaking in.
“You’re very late,” Seungcheol observes, leaning back in his chair. His gaze is always stern, and today it makes you even more anxious than usual.
“I’m so sorry,” you apologize. “Things just… everything kind of worked against me today. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“I believe you,” he says, casting another concerned look at you as you nearly drop your laptop going to your desk. “Is everything okay, Y/N? This really isn’t like you.”
“Yeah,” you lie through a tight smile. Damn Yoon Jeonghan and his stupid face for ruining your whole day. “Everything’s fine.”
Looking back, it’s quite impressive how you manage to keep your composure throughout your whole workday. You know you’ve accomplished a feat when even Junhui doesn’t really notice anything’s wrong.
Despite how oblivious he comes across at first, your colleague is easily one of the most perceptive people you’ve ever met, as you’ve learned in the past five years you’ve spent at this company.
“Long day?” Junhui swivels around in his chair as he catches you taking a break from your screen.
“Yeah,” you admit, glancing at the clock. Almost five. “Even longer when we get asked to fix all of the intern’s mistakes. How do you just forget to write a whole method?!”
“God, I hope Lee Chan never gets hired as a backend developer. Love the kid, but I’m not sure how he got through college with his code looking like this.”
“Hard agree.”
“Hey, do you have plans after? Me and the rest of the team are probably gonna get dinner together. None of the interns,” he clarifies with a grin. “We need some peace and quiet. I think Wonwoo’s genuinely at his final straw, he’s been downstairs with them all day.”
As tempting as that sounds — Junhui has a knack for finding the best spots in Seoul — you have something more important on your plate for the day.
“Maybe next time,” you decline. “I have to meet someone after work.”
“Oh?” A sly grin spreads across his face. “Someone special?”
“It’s not a date,” you insist, face heating up.
“I never asked if it was, Y/N, you’re just outing yourself at this point.”
“It’s not!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he teases, turning back around. “Keep me posted!”
You roll your eyes.
The end of the day couldn’t have come any slower. Usually, you’d get so engrossed in whatever you were working on that you’d end up staying late, but today you shock everyone by packing up when the clock hits five, bidding Junhui a good night as you almost run to leave the building.
(“Someone’s in a rush,” he remarks when you turn your computer off. “Don’t be late on a first date, it’s not very polite!”
“Fuck off,” you respond, when Seungcheol is safely out of earshot.)
The walk home almost freezes your fingertips, and you have to shove your hands deep into your pockets to keep them from going numb. You make a note to dress accordingly for the biting cold later.
At least the weather matches your mood today.
The idea of a hot shower turns out to be a little too inviting, though, because when you finally step out, hair wrapped in a towel, it’s 6:28, and you have a text from Jeonghan waiting to be opened.
xxx-xxx-xxxx: i’m here, i snagged a table in the back
“Fuck,” you curse under your breath, pulling on an old sweater and some jeans. You don’t have time to fully dry your hair, so you just run your round brush through it a couple of times, hope for the best, and throw it into a claw clip, praying it stays up.
You’re officially twenty minutes late when you finally get to the cafe — it’s not too far from your apartment, thankfully, but you still had to book it — and you approach Jeonghan slightly panting and out of breath.
(If Junhui was right and this was actually a date, you would be royally screwed.)
“Here, sit,” he pulls out your chair, a little alarmed by your flushed face. “Were you running?”
“Yeah. Sorry I’m late,” you answer, and then you look up at him and the air is knocked out of your lungs as if you weren’t already winded from getting there. He’s even more beautiful than the last time you saw him. “Wow, you…”
“I?”
You’re not even sure what the rest of that sentence was going to be, the words slipping out before you could even think about them. Snap out of it.
“Nothing,” you say quietly.
“How have you been?”
“You already asked me that.”
“I want to know more.” He’s looking at you like he’s trying to memorize your features; it’s hard to ignore.
“I don’t have anything interesting going on,” you deflect. “Tell me about what’s going on with you. You said you wrote a new song?”
Jeonghan’s face lights up when you say it. “I did. I spent around nine months rewriting and perfecting it. It’s kind of like my child, in a way.”
“Yoon Jeonghan, a father. I never thought I’d see the day.”
He laughs, and it feels like a part of your old selves is back. “Want to listen?”
You nod, and he passes you an AirPod and his phone. “Imperfect Love,” you read out loud. “That’s deep.”
“It came from a pretty raw place,” he confesses. “Something that’s kind of been on my mind for a while.”
“Something or someone?”
Jeonghan’s face reflects something akin to panic. “What are you talking about?”
“This seems like a song about unrequited love,” you deadpan. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
“Well, it’s not,” he huffs. “Don’t assume things.”
“This is the kind of update I was waiting for. You didn’t tell me you’d found someone!”
“I didn’t!” he insists, concealing a smile. “Will you just stop asking questions and listen already?”
“Alright, Mr. Unlucky in Love,” you tease, securing the AirPod in your ear and pressing play.
The instrumentals are beautiful, and Jeonghan’s angelic voice fills your ears a few seconds later. You haven’t heard him sing in a long time, and you’d forgotten just how ethereal he sounds when he’s pouring his heart into the mic.
The sunlight that happily illuminates this dark world
Becomes a star when night comes
Come down to me
There are many, many things shining in this world
But among them, you’re the only one that’s precious to me
Jeonghan is watching you nervously, like he’s anxious for what you will say. You make the mistake of catching his eyes, because immediately you falter — they are gorgeous, he is gorgeous, and it feels like you lose time with every second you spend admiring him.
Even if I can’t be the perfect weather for you
Will you still love me like this?
It feels like a silent plea — you wonder what kinds of things have happened to him in the past year that you missed, all the things you don’t know about.
Together we become old and worn out
Even if you come to me, who’s useless
At the end of a shining day
I’m happy that it’s you every day
The song comes to an end, and you hand Jeonghan’s phone back to him. His eyebrows raise, like a question.
“Did you like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” you tell him honestly. “I love it.”
A smile breaks out on his face. “That’s good to hear.”
“I’m still convinced you have a secret crush that you’re not telling me about.”
“Oh, not with that again,” he grumbles, waving off your curious questions.
What you don’t tell him is that you’ve missed hearing him sing and watching him perform, that the look in his eyes when he’s doing what he loves most is something you adore. There are a lot of things like that you want to say to him, and as good as the both of you are at acting like nothing’s wrong, the situation feels awfully different this time.
“Hey.” Jeonghan has a glint in his eye, the one he usually has when he’s up to something. “Do you wanna leave and go get tteokbokki and fried dumplings at the night market stands instead?”
Your favorites, from when you were a broke college student and couldn’t afford anything nicer. How did he still remember that?
“Yeah,” you say, already grabbing your things and standing. “Let’s go.”
You had forgotten that it was cold as fuck outside.
You had also forgotten that the food stalls were in the opposite direction of your house, so now you’re stuck walking twice the distance in the freezing weather.
“Are you warm enough?” Jeonghan asks, a bit worried. Stop looking out for me, you want to scream at him. Stop caring. Stop making such a fool out of me.
“I am, but I know you’re not,” you scold instead. “I’ve been telling you for years to dress for the weather.”
“Eh, what’s a little bit of cold?” he jokes, but you catch him shivering violently out of the corner of your eye, and you can’t just watch as he suffers.
“Here.” You pull your scarf off of your neck and hold it out to him. “Wear it.”
“Are you su—”
“Wear it before I take it back.”
You wait until Jeonghan’s listened to you, the warm fabric wrapped around his neck. A part of you thinks you’ll always feel the urge to look after him.
Stop it.
“You still haven’t told me about yourself,” Jeonghan starts hesitantly. “I know I’ve probably missed a lot of things in the past few years.”
“Eight years,” you correct him. “We graduated and then you disappeared.”
“I didn’t disappear, things just got really hectic,” he tries to explain. “Like, all of a sudden everything was on my shoulders, and I had to spend all my time working towards what I wanted. That or it was all just gonna go to waste.”
“Right,” you leave it at that, not wanting to start an argument on the road. This always happens — you’ll run into Jeonghan somehow, you’ll somewhat reconcile, fight, make up, and then it’s radio silence from him again. A year after you graduated college, you stopped looking for news articles on him entirely, actively avoiding any headlines with his name in them. It hurt a little too much to bear. “Well, what do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
You suck in a breath at the quick response.
“Yeonju’s doing well,” you start, even though he probably knows that already. “She has a cat now, actually. She adopted him a couple of months ago.”
“Really? What’s his name?”
“Mandu, because she says he’s round and fat like a dumpling.”
Jeonghan snorts. “That’s like when Josh told us his dog’s name was Bingsu.”
“Oh, I remember that,” you say, faintly reminded of his college roommate. “Um, there’s not much else, honestly. Junhui is still a major pain in my ass, that definitely hasn’t changed.”
“Your work friend, right? I thought you two got along pretty well?”
“Yeah, we do,” you admit. You don’t need to explain any further, because Jeonghan knows that your sarcastic remarks are reserved for those you cherish the most.
“It’s been a really long time since you introduced us,” he muses. “But I still remember him pretty clearly.”
He remembers you, too, you think to yourself, recounting all the times you’ve ranted to Junhui about all the times Jeonghan got on your very last nerve. Just not as fondly.
“Oh! Wonwoo actually joined the same company two years ago. I think I told you this already,” Jeonghan confirms with a nod, “But it’s really nice getting to see him again, I missed when we used to hang out in college.”
“Aw, that must be really nice.”
“And the three of us still work for Seungcheol,” you conclude.
“I remember him, too. The one with the huge ass biceps,” Jeonghan says, a bit miffed. “I don’t think he liked me very much.”
“He doesn’t like randoms coming in during work hours, which is what you did, Han.”
“Oh. Right.”
Despite his short response, you know Jeonghan is smiling to himself right now, and you kick yourself mentally for letting the decades-old nickname slip. The two of you may be on a truce right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven him.
A few minutes later, the lanterns and lights of the night market come into view. A little piece of childhood memory burrows its way into your heart. The vendors and stalls may have changed, but you used to love visiting this street with Jeonghan when you were still students.
“I really feel so old right now,” Jeonghan remarks as he follows you through the narrow walkways. “I feel like the last time I’ve been here was when we were eighteen.”
“It probably was,” you say. “Oh! Tteokbokki!”
You don’t even realize the way you’re holding on to the sleeve of Jeonghan’s sweater as you pull him along with you in excitement. He doesn’t say anything, just chuckles to himself as he walks behind you.
“Two cups, please,” you request the vendor when you finally get to the cart, and reach for your wallet. Jeonghan stops you before you can get to your pocket.
“No way,” he says firmly. “This one’s on me.”
“Jeonghan.”
“That voice isn’t working on me this time.” He hands the vendor a couple of bills with a friendly smile. “Just let me buy dinner tonight.”
You cross your arms. “No.”
“Why not? You had no problem doing it back in college.”
“Don’t bring that up now,” you say sharply, stung by the familiar memory. Jeonghan senses the shift in your attitude and drops the subject immediately.
“Wait here,” he tells you. “I’ll be back in a second.”
What are you supposed to do with yourself? Oh, you’re a mess, you realize, the way your feelings haven’t been in check for the entire evening. You were supposed to be so calm and collected, and now you’re anything but.
“Here you go,” the vendor hands you two steaming cups of the spicy rice cakes. “One for you, one for your friend.”
“Thank you.”
The man nods towards Jeonghan, making his way back through the sea of people. “Never let go of someone who cherishes you that much,” he says offhandedly, stirring the tteok in the pot.
You just blink, confused. “What?”
Before the vendor can answer, Jeonghan’s already caught up to you again. “There was nobody in line for fried dumplings,” he tells you excitedly. “Here, have some.”
“Thanks,” you say as you exchange with him for the tteokbokki, ignoring the awkward encounter you’ve just had. “We should probably get out of the way and find somewhere to sit down.”
“Yeah, we should.”
There are a few benches at the corner of the street, and you pick the empty one under one of the streetlamps, a hazy yellow glow cast over it. Sitting down, you bite into the first dumpling, the flavor flooding into your mouth.
“Jeonghan.”
“Yes?”
“Is this shrimp?”
“Yes?” He looks adorably confused in the dim light. “You prefer seafood over pork, right?”
Your heart feels like it’s beating at double the pace. “I do,” you reassure him. “It’s really good. Thank you.”
“Try the tteokbokki, too, it’s just the right level of spicy.”
“I will.”
Just being there and enjoying the food in silence reminds you of how easy it is to just be around Jeonghan. There’s no pressure to break the quiet; it’s comforting and peaceful.
You watch him savor the tteokbokki sauce and smile to yourself when he winces slightly. He’s always had less of a spice tolerance than you.
“Jeonghan?”
“Hm?”
“Are you going to vanish on me again when you leave Seoul?”
The question stops him in his tracks. He doesn’t seem to have the words to answer, and the lack of a response makes your heart sink.
“Why are you thinking about that right now?” he says instead, chiding you gently. “Did you finish eating?”
The way you’re looking at him now, your eyes are imploring him. Please don’t make me empty promises again.
“It’s rude to answer a question with another question.”
Jeonghan rakes a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “I’ve never vanished, Y/N, it’s just hard for me to leave my work that often,” he insists, “and besides, you’ve got Junhui and Yeonju and Wonwoo to entertain you in the meantime —”
“None of them are you!” Several people passing by glance over at you, but you can’t help that your voice is rising when you feel the anger bubbling up. “You’re my best friend, Jeonghan, do you have any idea how hard it’s been doing life without you?”
“Y/N, we’re past our youth,” he tries reasoning with you. “We don’t have to be attached at the hip all the time.”
Every word he says is like a knife to your chest. “You shouldn’t have asked to meet up today, then.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” Jeonghan shuts his eyes, trying to think of the right words. “I just can’t be there for you all the time in the way that you want anymore. You’re stable, you have a solid job, but my livelihood depends on my music and whether people like me or not. That’s the harsh truth of it. And I’m not getting any younger, either.”
“I’m not asking you to be there for me all the time,” you snap. “All I ever wanted was the occasional message. A few updates. Whether you’re doing okay, how your life is going, things like that. Don’t give me bullshit excuses. I know you have thirty seconds to text me back letting me know that you’re alive.”
And stop playing with my heart, you want to add. Whether you’re aware of it or not.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan swears under his breath. “Y/N, let’s calm down and talk about this inside —”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down, Yoon Jeonghan.” Your fists are clenched right now. Jeonghan knows this about you; you don’t get angry quite often, but when you do, you are a force to be reckoned with. “It’s always a goddamn cycle with you. You show up, make all these promises, and then abandon me again. What am I supposed to do with that?”
You’re on the verge of tears, but you can’t cry in front of him. Anywhere but here.
“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he pleads with you. “I don’t know what more to say other than I’ve been trying my best, I really have been.”
You’re not having any of it. “Yeah, right,” you scoff, averting your eyes so you have time to blink the tears away.
“I mean it. I want to be there for you, but…” he trails off, voice shaky. “It’s just been so difficult.”
“Save it, Jeonghan.” You don’t think you can be here for a minute longer without totally breaking down. “I should really get going now.”
“Y/N, wait —”
“If you took the subway, there’s a station down that street if you keep walking for a few minutes.”
“Wait,” Jeonghan insists, standing. “Let me at least walk you home.”
“No need,” you retort, turning around and setting off towards your apartment. It’s even colder now that it’s completely dark out, and you start to regret your choice of coat as your teeth chatter quietly. All you can do is thug it out for the remaining three blocks to your apartment building.
The wind stings your eyes and you tear up anyway, despite your attempts to keep it down for now. Why did you think today was going to go any better than every other time this has happened?
Stupid. Your fault for thinking anything would have changed in eight years.
It’s not until you approach the entrance to your building that you hear the quiet shuffling of footsteps. You whirl around, ready to fight, but you stop short when you see Jeonghan standing several feet behind you.
“Just to make sure you got back okay,” he says quietly, walking over to you. You accept gingerly when he places your scarf back in your hands. “It’s late.”
You don’t even know how to feel; you’re too high-strung with too many lines of thought in your brain at the same time. “Thank you.”
“One more thing.” Jeonghan hands you a small plastic bag. You peer inside.
“What is this?”
“Tiramisu,” he says, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly.
“Oh,” you’re confused. “Why?”
It should make you even more furious that he has the audacity to give you a soft smile, but for some reason it doesn’t.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.”
The realization hits you belatedly — how did you manage to forget? — that you were so swamped with work commitments, it had totally slipped your mind today. (So that was why your phone had been constantly buzzing with notifications from Yeonju before you’d put it on silent.)
Jeonghan’s gesture, though, comes as a complete surprise, and it starts to dissipate the irritation from earlier.
“You remembered.”
“Of course,” he says simply, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I never forgot.”
just friends, that's not enough for me
EIGHT YEARS AGO
Normally, you are not someone who is criminally inclined.
However, it’s currently five in the morning on a day where you don’t have class until noon, so whoever is calling you at this time is most definitely going to end up six feet under.
You answer without checking who it is first, eyes still closed. “Hello?”
“Happy birthday!”
“Huh?” You lift your head just to be sure you heard correctly. “Yoon Jeonghan, it’s five a.m!”
“I know!”
“Why are you awake?”
“To tell you happy birthday?”
“Thank you, but cut the crap,” you tell him.
“I pulled an all-nighter to finish a project,” he admits. “Worth it, though. I’m the first person who told you, right?”
“You keep forgetting I live with Yeonju,” you point out, glancing over at your sleeping roommate.
“Damn it, Choi Yeonju!”
You grimace at his loud exclamation. “Jeonghan?”
“Yeah?”
“Do me a favor and let me go back to sleep.”
“Okay, but I’m waking you up at ten so you don’t skip your linear algebra class.”
“That class is at noon!”
“Yeah, and you take centuries to get ready, dumbass.”
When ten o’clock does roll around, you’re wide awake already. Yeonju is still fast asleep, so you try to get ready for class as quietly as possible.
jeonghan: i’m outside ur building
jeonghan: hurry up i’m hungry
you: ??? when u said u were gonna wake me up i thought u meant u would call
jeonghan: uhh surprise?
“Are you serious,” you mutter under your breath, haphazardly throwing an outfit on and rushing downstairs. Quickly, you press your key card against the reader and push the door open to the sight of Jeonghan leaning against the side wall.
“How long were you waiting?”
“Long enough. God, you really take forever, but I guess you get a pass because it’s your birthday,” he says begrudgingly, gesturing for you to walk with him.
The weather is quite bleak, but the slight smile on Jeonghan’s face is enough to chase the dreary atmosphere away, like your very own sun.
“Did you sleep at all?” you question, noticing the dark circles under his eyes.
“I tried, but by the time I finished the project it was already seven and Joshua was up, so I just didn’t bother. That guy’s a freak, I’m telling you. I don’t know anybody else who wakes up that early just to go to the gym.”
“Well, you don’t go at all. Maybe that’s why he has those nice muscles and you don’t.”
Jeonghan’s mouth drops open in surprise. “Are you kidding? Is this why you keep coming over? To ogle Joshua Hong’s arms?”
“Yeah, cause Joshua Hong is my best friend,” you deadpan. “Is it such a crime to just appreciate a nice set of muscles?”
“Okay, okay, stop talking about Josh when you’re with me and get in the car,” he urges, fishing out his keys. “Or we’ll be late and you won’t make it to that class.”
“I don’t even go half the time,” you point out. “And you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”
“What I can do is promise you will be happy and fed by approximately half past eleven.” Jeonghan starts the car, adjusting his mirrors. “Is that good enough for you?”
“Deal.”
It strikes you then, beneath the dim sunshine, how good he looks when he’s driving. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on the road, humming along to the song playing through Bluetooth. For all the jokes you throw at him for never being seen at the gym, his arms are quite toned, subtly flexed as he makes a turn with one hand on the wheel.
God, you are so done for.
A few minutes later, Jeonghan pulls into a relatively empty lot. The building is quite unassuming, but you recognize this cafe as the one you frequent during exam season for your coffee fix.
“I love this place!” you exclaim, beaming at him. “How did you know?”
“‘Cause you never shut up about it,” he quips back, grinning.. “Stay here, I’ll just be a minute.”
You hum quietly to yourself as you wait for him to come back, content where you are. There couldn’t have been a better start to your day, aside from Jeonghan’s early morning call, and you think you’d be happy to spend the day just like this, peacefully with him and your closest friends.
In truth, you aren’t really sure how to navigate things with Jeonghan at the moment. Your relationship has always been labeled as strictly platonic, but lately there have been things that make you want to think otherwise. A few stolen glances, the way he looks out for you a little extra… you think you’re going insane.
That, and the way your heart has been reacting when you make eye contact with him lately has been a bit unsettling.
(“Don’t be so delusional,” Yeonju had told you a week ago. “You have a lot to lose here if anything happens. Plus, it’s Yoon Jeonghan, everyone thinks he’s flirting with them.”
“Yeah,” you’d replied flatly. “You’re right.”)
But maybe you’re allowed to be a little selfish. Maybe those sunlit smiles and most vulnerable moments are memories reserved just for you.
The car door opens again, and Jeonghan pokes his head in, handing you a plastic bag as he gets in.
“Sustenance,” is all he says. “Eat before you go to class or I’ll have to deal with your hangry whining after.”
His words sound annoyed, but his tone is soft with you, like it usually is. You flash him a grateful smile before pulling the boxes out.
“What’s this?”
“Avocado toast, but yours has egg on it.” He wrinkles his nose with displeasure at the combination. “Plus a little sweet treat for your caffeine addiction.”
“This is beautiful,” you hold up the tiramisu box. “The caffeine is speaking to me, Hannie. We are one and the same.”
“One would think you’re on drugs.”
“One would think living with a chemistry major would teach you that caffeine is a drug,” you tease, sinking your teeth into the golden toast. You hadn’t realized just how hungry you were until now — maybe you shouldn’t have skipped dinner last night. “Wow, this is good.”
“It is,” Jeonghan agrees, “but I’ll stick with no eggs for now.”
“You’re just ignorant and have bad taste.”
“Again, free pass only because it’s your birthday.” Jeonghan waits for you to swallow, then asks, “So, does twenty-one feel any different?”
“Nope,” you say decidedly. “Why would it? The only thing that’s changed is that drinking is legal now.”
“Oh, and you can gamble.”
“Right, but I don’t have enough savings to do that.”
Jeonghan laughs to himself at a stray memory. “Remember when I turned twenty-one? I’ve never had a night more disastrous than that one.”
“I do remember! Anyone would assume you were a raging alcoholic,” you snicker. “Even Soonyoung felt the need to sober up and help me get you back to your place. Do you know how impossible that is for him?”
Jeonghan looks like he’s questioning his whole life. “Yeah, that is pretty bad,” he admits. “Good thing it hasn’t happened since and I’m a responsible alcohol enjoyer now.”
“You drank a whole bottle of soju before your exam last week because you ‘needed to pregame’ or you’d fail it.”
“... Right.”
The two of you eat in silence, careful not to drop crumbs in his car, enjoying the midday quiet with each other’s company and nothing else. It’s moments like these with him that you cherish the most.
Yeonju’s Don’t be so delusional echoes in your head, like a silent rebuke.
“Hey, we should start heading back,” Jeonghan says, glancing at the time. “Let this be the day that Y/N graces the lecture hall with her presence.”
You groan, not wanting to spend another hour and a half trying not to doze off listening to who is possibly the most boring professor at your entire university. Jeonghan pats your back empathetically.
“It’s okay,” he consoles you, “Just think about how you’ll feel later when it’s all over and done with.”
“I’ll feel like it was a huge waste of time and I could have just asked Wonwoo to catch me up,” you grumble.
Jeonghan’s smile falters a little bit at the mention of your classmate, one of Soonyoung’s friends and therefore a part of the friend group. You still can’t figure out why Jeonghan isn’t too fond of him, but you just assume they haven’t had the opportunity to connect as much and brush it off.
“He got me through data structures last semester,” you offer, trying to defend your point. “Or I’d probably have failed.”
“Right, I remember,” Jeonghan says absentmindedly. You don’t say anything more until you’re back on campus again, picking up on his sensitive mood. When you start making your way to your lecture hall, he follows you, and you let him.
“I’ll walk you to class, I have to print something out at the student center, anyways,” he explains, bag on one shoulder. “Also, you left this in the car. Eat it after class, or whenever.”
You take the plastic bag he hands you, the faint scent of coffee filling your nose. “Thanks.”
Jeonghan fills your ears with silly stories about his friends over the short walk and you listen carefully, always happy to hear about the boys. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them anyways; you’ve been swamped with work, and time that all of you have free together is quite rare.
“I should go in now,” you tell him when you reach the hall. You wish you didn’t have to be here, but you might as well, and Jeonghan can easily read the annoyance written on your face. He pats your shoulder gently.
“It’s okay,” he consoles you. “Come over later so we can all eat cake and listen to you rant about your god-awful professor.”
“Okay.”
“And so you can get an eyeful of Joshua’s arms, you freaking pervert.”
You gasp. “Am not!” you screech, punching his arm.
“Ow!”
“Take it back!”
“Not afraid to speak my truth,” Jeonghan says instead, feigning injury. “This is literally abuse.”
You roll your eyes. “Get out.”
“Go in.”
“Fine,” you huff, pulling open the double doors, but you look back over your shoulder before you let them close behind you. “See you later?”
Jeonghan nods, a twinkle in his eye.
(You won’t know it now, but this is the look on his face that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.)
“See you later.”
Choi Yeonju is, you discover, the lightweight of all lightweights.
That title had belonged to Soonyoung up until now, but tonight even he’s watching her in disbelief from where he’s perched on Joshua and Jeonghan’s couch.
“I only gave her a shot,” he promises you, eyes big and pleading. “I swear on my life.”
“I know,” you sigh, grabbing her sleeve and pulling her away from the wall she’s about to faceplant into. “It’s okay, I’ve got an eye on her.”
“Sorry,” Soonyoung offers sheepishly. “I know you were planning on getting wasted tonight.”
You were not, in fact, planning on that at all. “Who told you that?”
“Jeonghan?”
“That evil bastard.”
The evil bastard in question is currently deeply immersed in a card game with a couple of others at the small kitchen table. The subtle flush on his face tells you he’s a couple of drinks in, and if you squint enough, you can see the silhouette of cards hidden in the sleeve of his jacket. Typical.
“Y/N!” Yeonju taps your shoulder urgently. “I need to tell you something.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
She grins. “I wanna go to the bathroom.”
“Alright, come on. You gotta stand up,” you inform her gently when she doesn’t budge from her spot on the sofa.
“Comfy,” is all she says, mumbling into the furniture.
“Do you still need to go to the bathroom?”
“No.”
Soonyoung just looks at you in total confusion and shrugs.
“Nothing to do about it until she asks again,” he says before sinking into the couch beside her. He still looks relatively sober — sober enough to handle the situation if Yeonju decides to walk into a wall again — so you tell him you’ll be right back and decide to check in on the game going on.
You walk in on a crime scene.
“You!” Seungkwan throws an accusing finger at Jeonghan, who you can tell is playing innocent through his surprised expression. “You rigged the game!”
“I didn’t do anything! I won fair and square!”
“Count the cards,” Seungkwan tells Wonwoo vengefully. “There won’t be fifty-two, I’m telling you!”
Jeonghan stands suddenly, laying his hand on the table. Everyone else is too busy yelling amongst themselves, and Wonwoo seems to be content with watching them argue, but you catch the way Jeonghan slips the cards in his sleeve into the pile unassumingly.
“Excuse me, boys,” he says smugly, “but I’m going to go on a little victory walk. Don’t mind me, enjoy!”
Seungkwan grumbles, but lets him go in favor of helping Seokmin back into the chair he’s just fallen off of. In the meantime, Jeonghan sidles up to you, faintly smelling of tequila.
“You seem very sober,” he observes.
“I am,” you laugh. “Not entirely, but sober enough to notice the cards you stashed during the game.”
Jeonghan’s face morphs into one of surprise, then mirth. “Shh,” he winks, placing a finger on your lips. That alone short-circuits your brain, so you nearly miss his next words. “It can be our little secret.”
“Oh, you are tipsy tipsy,” you murmur, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know if you’re up for that victory walk you were talking about.”
“I am! I’m so up for it,” he announces, tucking his arm in yours. “Let’s go take a walk outside.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.”
“What’s four plus four?”
He rolls his eyes. “Ninety-two,” he says sarcastically. “Please, I’m not a lightweight like the rest of our friends.”
You cast a glance at the couch; Soonyoung has been roped into listening into whatever story Yeonju’s telling him very animatedly, sitting attentively with his back unnaturally straight. He looks a little scared of her energetic narration, which is a first for someone like him.
They should be fine, right? You don’t plan on being gone for long — usually you wouldn’t think twice about leaving Soonyoung and Yeonju together, but in their current state you’re not sure how chaotic they’ll get.
“They’ll be fine.” Jeonghan mirrors your thoughts as if he’s read your mind. His voice feels a little too close, like his lips are right by your ear. Too close, too close — you’re faintly aware of your breathing accelerating, heart running on sheer adrenaline.
By the time you snap out of it, he’s already at the door, turning to find you when he realizes you’re not next to him. “Are you coming?”
“Yeah,” is all you can manage before you grab your coat off the hook and follow him out the door. A part of you wishes Yeonju was sober so she could slap the delusion out of you.
Jeonghan opts for the stairs — “We’re only on the second floor!” — and is waiting patiently at the main door for you. The smile he greets you with is blinding, and his eyes crinkle a little more when you return it.
“Did you bring your keys?”
“Right here.” Jeonghan pats his pocket reassuringly and pulls the door open. “After you, m’lady.”
“Thank you, kind sir,” you laugh, reveling in the moment.
It’s windy outside, and you glance over at Jeonghan, satisfied to see that he’s dressed warmly for once. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and for a man his size, his thick sweater is draped over his body in a way that makes him look a little smaller. It’s adorable, and it just makes you want to reach over and squish his cheeks.
“You’re awfully quiet for a man who just won a game against Boo Seungkwan,” you tease gently. Jeonghan chuckles, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.
“Nothing new,” he says. “Seungkwan just has bad strategy and won’t admit it.”
“Or you just enjoy cheating a little too much.”
He gives you a knowing smile. “Touché.”
You’re not exactly sure where you’re going; you don’t think Jeonghan does, either, but the two of you fall in step together perfectly on the sidewalk. It’s not too late yet, maybe nine or ten, and the streets are relatively crowded, as expected for a college city.
“Do you think we’ll be really different when we’re thirty?”
You look at Jeonghan, a bit surprised at the question. “What do you mean?”
“Like, we’re twenty-one now,” he explains, “Remember when we were sixteen? We had so many ideas about what we were gonna be, and we’re already there. Five years passed so quickly.”
You nod, reminiscent of your childhood days. “We’re gonna hit thirty before we know it.”
“Do you think I’ll be bald by thirty?”
“If you are, I’ll take lots of pictures of you and your shiny head,” you joke. “For memories.”
“Noo, not my hair,” Jeonghan laments theatrically. “My gorgeous, gorgeous hair.”
You can’t even counter that, because it’s true: Jeonghan must have won the gene pool because his hair has always been soft and silky. It’s longer now than it used to be, curling a little bit just under his ears and brushing the back of his neck.
“Soonyoung’s been campaigning for you to go platinum blond,” you inform him. “He keeps saying if you do it, he’ll dye his whole head bright yellow.”
“Highlighter Soonyoung is really not something I want to see.”
The more the wind picks up, the tighter Jeonghan has his arm looped around yours. His lips are pursed, like he’s preoccupied with something else.
“Y/N.”
“Yes?”
“Are we still gonna be friends when we’re thirty years old?”
The subtle, vulnerable tone in his voice surprises you a little bit. Drunk words are sober thoughts, you suppose.
You try to cheer him up, saying, “Why, did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”
“No,” he shakes his head firmly. “Everything is so much easier with you.”
Don’t be delusional, don’t be delusional, is the mantra in your head as you attempt to ignore your rapid heartbeat. The truth is that you agree — the way Jeonghan just gets you makes things so uncomplicated and free.
It’s been this way since middle school, when twelve-year-old you found home in the boy who always helped you sneak snacks from your desk during class when the teacher wasn’t watching.
Jeonghan has always been the first person you think of in a sticky situation; he’s always been reliable, above all, because he knows you would do the same for him without even needing to think about it. He’s been by your side for so long, you can’t even picture what a life without him would look like now.
Your next words would never see the light of day had Jeonghan been sober, but you suppose you can get away with erring on the side of honesty.
“Me too,” you tell him quietly, holding onto him just a little bit tighter. “I like life a little better when it’s with you.”
because i love you, because saying i love you isn't enough
PRESENT DAY
The office is quiet when it’s late at night; there aren’t many people who enjoy staying past their stated hours, but you figure it can’t hurt to finish some additional tasks when you don’t really have much to go home to. You can’t remember the last time you had a day to yourself without worrying about deadlines; the lines of code haunt you in your sleep and fill every waking hour. Every night spent working overtime is a testament to your determination, though it crumbles it a little each time.
Today, though, you’re joined by Junhui and Wonwoo, the three of you working under the dim light. The rest of your team packed up and left hours ago, so it’s just you on this floor of the building.
“I feel like my eyes are melting in their sockets,” Junhui complains, stretching for the first time in what you think is a solid eight hours. “I don’t know how Wonwoo does it.”
“He’s a machine,” you joke. He’s got headphones on, most probably noise canceling, so you know he can’t hear you two. (Or he’s choosing not to.) “I just don’t want to go home with this stuff unfinished because I know I won’t stop thinking about it all night.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve pulled an all-nighter in the office.”
“Unfortunately.”
Junhui frowns. “You need to take time for yourself,” he expresses. You let him lecture you, even though he’s younger. “Do stuff that you enjoy that doesn’t involve writing code. You know, enrich your personal life.”
“Maybe,” you sigh, putting your head in your hands. “There’s barely any time as of now.”
“Speaking of personal lives, I still can’t believe you won’t tell me about your date,” he sulks. “You’ve always come back with stories about your dates.”
“There haven’t even been that many,” you say at the same time Wonwoo turns around with his headphones off of one ear, asking, “Date? Really?”
You give the man a look. “You didn’t hear us say your name, but that was what caught your attention?”
“Well, Jun’s always talking, but the last time you went on a date was two years ago, so this is news to me.”
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Junhui reasons. “Everyone has bad dates. It’s a universal experience.”
“Okay, first of all, it was not a date,” you clarify. “I just met up with a friend from college.”
This piques Wonwoo’s interest. “Wait, really? Who?”
“Right, I keep forgetting you guys went to college together,” Junhui mutters under his breath.
“Did you see Yeonju again?”
“It was nobody,” you lie through your teeth, kicking yourself internally for your choice of words. As much as both men know about your ongoing tug-of-war situation with Jeonghan, you don’t really want to bring it up in conversation, and definitely not now of all times. “It went fine, just some catching up.”
“So it wasn’t a date?”
“You really need to stop believing everything Junhui tells you without fact checking it first.”
“Damn,” he says. “And we thought you were finally getting some action.”
“Wonwoo!”
The conversation is interrupted by the low rumble of your stomach in the few seconds of silence that pass afterwards. Both men turn to look at you expectantly.
“I haven’t eaten all day,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “I’m starving.”
“I’ll order takeout,” Wonwoo volunteers, already reaching for his phone. “Is kimchi fried rice okay with you guys?”
“Fine by me.”
“With pork?” Junhui asks hopefully.
“Done.”
The three of you promptly get back to work, aiming to maximize the amount of work you get done before the food arrives and you inevitably break focus. By the time the delivery notification goes off on Wonwoo’s phone, you’ve knocked off about three quarters of your to-do list for the day.
Good enough, you reassure yourself, pulling the sticky note off of your desk and flicking it into the trash can.
Junhui eats in a record time of ten minutes — you swear you’ve never seen him scarf down food this fast before — and starts packing up at his desk, dropping off a couple of notes on Seungcheol’s desk for tomorrow morning’s meeting.
“My girlfriend is going to be so upset if I’m not home soon,” he says ruefully, slinging his bag over one shoulder. “Take care, guys! And thanks for dinner, Wonwoo, I owe you one.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
You and Wonwoo finish not too long after, and you take your time cleaning up the place, making sure everything is thrown away and in its place.
“Are you ready to lock up and go?”
“Yeah, let’s head out.”
It’s not until you’re in the elevator, heading to the parking garage, that Wonwoo speaks up again. A little hesitantly at first, but the concern in his tone is still evident.
“Hey, has everything been good with you lately?”
“Hm?” You look at him curiously, wondering what it was that made him ask. “Yeah, why?”
He shrugs, looking down at you through thick-rimmed glasses. “Just haven’t checked in with you in a bit. Seungcheol’s needed me all over the place lately, so it’s been a while since I caught up with you guys.”
“Right, you’ve been in back to back meetings with the design team,” you muse. “Seolhwa was talking about how chaotic it’s been in the restroom earlier.”
“Yeah, it’s been pretty tough.”
The elevator opens with a ding! and you follow him out, fishing for your keys that are probably somewhere in one of your pockets.
“I parked a little far,” you tell him, “so I’ll get going now. But I’ll see you at tomorrow’s meeting, right?”
Wonwoo just looks at you gently, like he’s seeing right through you.
“Jeonghan’s the one you met up with, isn’t he?”
You freeze. “What?”
“I had a feeling, but it was a little more obvious when you started getting defensive,” he chuckles. “Plus, I think you forget I’ve known you for nearly a decade now.”
You allow yourself to breathe, relaxing the taut muscles in your neck. “I didn’t want to make it awkward,” you admit. “I know you said you guys still keep in touch sometimes. I don’t want to make it weird.”
Wonwoo raises his eyebrows. “Just for birthdays and things like that. We weren’t really that close in college, either.”
Not really knowing what to say, you stay silent, eyes glued to the ground. He seems to sense this and drops the matter, reaching over to pat your shoulder.
“I won’t pry,” he says lightly, “But if you ever want to talk about it, just know you can always call up an old friend.”
You smile. “Thanks, Wonwoo.”
“Take care, Y/N. Get home safe.”
The drive home is numbing. The playlist you have on dulls into background noise as you focus on the road, fighting the urge to yawn. It’s nearly eleven o’clock at night, and all you want is to be back in your bed.
At the back of your mind, all you can think about is the text you woke up to this morning.
yoon jeonghan: hey, i just wanted to tell you tomorrow is my last day in seoul
yoon jeonghan: i don’t know if you want to see me or not, but i’ll be at semicolon cafe working for most of the day. pls drop by if you have some free time. i really miss you.
So typical of him, to leave it up to you to go find him. And yet, you would — if it came down to it, you would go to the ends of the earth if he asked you to.
Yeonju would be furious if you told her you were even considering it, you scold yourself. After all, she’d only told you to speak to him once for your own peace of mind. Last week should have given you all the closure you needed.
Still, your conscience is swayed at the idea of being able to see him again.
You shake the thoughts out of your head, as if the subtle action could erase the pain and longing you’ve felt for the past eight years.
The traffic light turns green. You step on the gas and don’t look back.
even if i can't be the perfect weather for you, will you still love me like this?
SIX YEARS AGO
Jeonghan has been in the studio for hours.
Nothing seems to sound right, and the frustration makes him want to pull his hair out. He can’t even remember the last time he got out of the chair, but he doesn’t want to lose even a little bit of whatever workflow he’s managed to maintain while he’s been in here.
Occasionally, when the weather is just a little dull and time seems to tick by too slowly, he wonders if he made the right choice. Maybe he should have stuck with his career, actually put his degree to use, instead of setting it aside in the name of passion.
He’s vocalized these thoughts to his manager many times, and Jihoon is awfully good at raising his spirits, but the self doubt seeping into his soul is very hard to ignore.
Reluctantly, he presses the play button again, whatever he’s conjured up in the last couple of hours playing in his headphones again. It doesn’t sound any better this time.
Yes, he could swallow his pride and ask Jihoon for help, but after a year and a half of unsuccessful ventures in the music industry, he wants to be able to do something on his own.
Prove himself; to Jihoon, the world, and you.
Jeonghan will never forget your only words to him when he’d first revealed his plan to switch career paths, just a month or two before graduation.
(“I always believe in you,” you’d said, following it up with a comforting hug.
“Always?”
“Always.”)
And when you said that with such conviction, placing all of that trust and belief in his hands, he knew there was no way he could turn back on what he’d set his sights on. In truth, on days where things just seem so bleak, you are his strength, and he wishes he could tell you that.
But when your name comes through on his phone, he falters.
What is he supposed to say? All he can give is excuses, that nothing’s really worked, nothing has panned out in his favor yet. As it is, the two of you haven’t spoken that much since graduating, both of you occupied with your own goals and careers, and at times like these he feels your absence a little extra.
Is this what it means to grow up and grow apart?
For now, he ignores the buzzing, telling himself he’ll come back when he’s snagged his first real achievement. You’ll be proud of him, and he’ll finally make something of himself.
Jihoon walks into the room, closing the door quietly, right when he’s about to listen to the track for maybe the hundredth time.
“Oh, hey.” Jeonghan can hear the exhaustion in his own voice. “What’s up?”
“Wondering when the last time you slept was.” Jihoon sinks into the chair beside him, trying to lighten the mood. “You look like a zombie.”
“Yeah, I feel like one.”
“You need to spend less time in here,” Jihoon advises gently. “Or you’re going to lose your mind. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
“I just can’t figure out what it is I’m missing,” Jeonghan sighs, evidently frustrated. “It’s like, almost there, but not really. It’s been killing me for days.”
“You know, these things do take time.”
“Or maybe I’m just not cut out for this and I should just go work for a news channel instead.”
Jihoon watches him carefully, picking up on his slumped shoulders and tired eyes. “And then you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you held on just a little bit longer. Do you really want that?”
Jeonghan doesn’t really know what else to say. He’s been hearing the same things from everyone around him — his parents, his sister; everyone talks of a future where he’s already succeeded, but that isn’t set in stone. Nothing is promised, he knows.
“I need a miracle,” he mumbles instead.
“You need to eat,” Jihoon corrects. ��I just placed an order for dinner, and I know you like sundubu-jjigae, so you have no excuse to bail on me this time.”
Jeonghan considers this for a moment, then gives in. “Fine,” he says, “but I can’t stay too long.”
“Good.” Jihoon rises, and then places a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been working really hard.”
“Thank you.”
He’s alone again, when the door closes behind the shorter man. It’s something he’s had to get used to; he’s learned to rely on himself over the past year or so, but when the reality of loneliness sinks in, it breaks his heart just a little.
Even more so knowing that it’s his fault that he’s pushed everyone away, including you.
Your name is still burned into Jeonghan’s brain, and his fingers itch to respond, but he ignores the urge. His phone is left forgotten as he slips his headphones on again, tinkering with the unfinished track.
And the thought of you dissolves into the music.
we used to be best friends, i remember you said you can be yourself when i'm around
PRESENT DAY
Today is the day that Choi Seungcheol learns that you are full of surprises.
In all your five years of working for him, he’s never once had you call in sick for work or ask for a day off. You’ve always been hard-working, maybe too much at times, but he sounds like he definitely didn’t anticipate this.
“Oh,” is all he says when you request the morning off. “Yeah, sure. Are you feeling alright?”
“Not really, but I will be before the client meeting at three, so I’ll be present for that.”
“Oh, all right. We’ll see you then.”
“See you.”
It weighs on your conscience that the first time you request time off also happens to be the first time you blatantly lie to your boss, but you’ve already deliberated this enough with Yeonju over call last night.
(“I’ve been such an honest worker,” you said dramatically, “and now I’m running all that to the ground.”
“Don’t be so theatrical. Choi Seungcheol can afford to give you half a day of paid leave.”)
Now that you’ve settled that, you grab your heavy winter coat, setting out into the morning cold. Damn Yoon Jeonghan for making you move your whole day around for him. You had predicted correctly that Yeonju would berate you for it — you sat through a lecture over the phone last night — but that hadn’t deterred your resolve to see him again.
Who knows? His behavior is so erratic that even you, who knew him like the back of your hand at one point, can’t predict him anymore. Today could very well be the last time you see him for another few years until he decides he has the time for you again.
Whatever, you huff to yourself as you walk briskly, knowing that as upset as you get, the soft spot you harbor for him will never go away.
You had worried that it would be a little too early, since it’s only eight in the morning, but you have no problem finding Jeonghan in the sea of caffeine-deprived corporate workers getting their fix in the small establishment. He’s engrossed in his laptop, and he doesn’t realize you’re there until you take the seat across from him, waiting for him to look up.
“Oh,” is all he says, pushing his screen down. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
You sigh. “Yeah, I didn’t think I would, either.”
Jeonghan gives you a sorrowful look, hair fluffy like a halo around his face. “I’m trying, I really am.”
“Jeonghan —”
“I’m juggling so many things at once,” he says quietly. “And I never wanted you to think any less of me. I wanted you to be proud of me..”
“I was. I still am.”
“But I still haven’t done anything.” He sounds more agitated as he speaks. “I haven’t gotten anywhere, I’ve barely made a name for myself. Nothing I do is paying off.”
“You’re trying, though,” you tell him. It saddens you to see him like this. It’s not often that Jeonghan talks about how he feels, especially not now that you’ve grown so distant. “And you don’t have to go off and accomplish great things for me to be proud of you. I already am.”
He’s quiet, like he’s dwelling on something.
“I’m sorry,” he says a few seconds later. “It’s just all been such a mess.”
“That’s okay.”
In the silence between those two words are many more that don’t need to be spoken for him to understand. You’re doing okay. Everything will turn out okay.
“I wish things could go back to the way they were,” he says again, eyes a little shiny when he looks back at you.
Nostalgia fills your brain, all of those treasured memories with him resting in a well-lit corner of your heart.
“You know, it really hurts, Han, to keep doing this push and pull with you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Don’t apologize,” he laughs wistfully, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I never meant to hurt you, Y/N, honestly. And I’m really trying to be better about it. Things are looking up now, I think. It’s getting a little easier than before.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” You offer him a reassuring smile. “I knew you could do it.”
“How…” Jeonghan starts tentatively. “How long are you here for?”
“I’m not sure,” you reply, fidgeting with one of your bracelets. “Not too long.”
“Are you going to have something to eat?” An olive branch.
“I have food I meal-prepped at home.” A subtle denial.
The silence is loud. You try to think of something, anything to say to fill it, but you come up blank. There’s not much else to be said in the fraught air between the two of you. Not now, anyways.
“I’m sorry, I should let you get back to work,” you say suddenly, eyes landing on his half shut laptop. “I didn’t mean to take time out of your day.”
“That’s okay,” he says softly. “I’m really glad I got to see you.”
“Have a safe trip to… wherever you’re going.”
He chuckles. “Just Jeju, but thank you.”
Before you leave, you reach for the scarf loosely wrapped around your neck — your favorite one you’ve had since college, the plaid cream-colored one — and you set it down on the table. He just looks at you questioningly.
“Why…?”
“It’s cold,” you say with a faint smile. “You haven’t changed, Yoon Jeonghan.”
“Thank you.”
You take the time to memorize him — the curve of his face, the soft look in his eyes, the one reserved for you and the ones he holds close. If you could etch his features in your brain here and now, you would.
“Well,” you start, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Don’t be a stranger, Han. The next time I see your name, it better be a call from you instead of another news headline.”
Jeonghan nods, eyes forming crescents. “I’ll do my best.”
And there is something to be said about the love in looking back, for sure, but there is also love in not looking back, in choosing to keep your eyes trained on the path before you. There is love in knowing your weaknesses, that if you turn around you might not be able to walk away after all.
You don’t release the breath you’re holding until you walk out the door. It’s raining, you realize with a start, the previously clear sky clouded over. It seems that your overcast heart has been mirrored by the earth.
The rhythmic droplets provide a strange sense of comfort as you let yourself get soaked, for lack of an umbrella. It works in your favor, anyway, because nobody will assume anything’s amiss if your face is already drenched.
Pit, pat. The smell of wet soil rises in your nostrils, and you let the tears fall.
no matter where i am in the world, i'll say it's you
FOUR YEARS LATER
The lights are blinding, and the sounds of the camera shutters are incessant. But this is the life Jeonghan has always dreamed of, so he doesn’t dare complain.
In truth, he doesn’t care for a lot of the interviews he’s been asked to do — he can’t be bothered by the mundane, mind-numbing questions he gets asked over and over again. Nothing ticks him off like the insensitive digs into his personal life they always ask him, searching for information he doesn’t wish to disclose.
But he does it, anyway, because what choice does he really have? It’s good for your image, Jihoon always tells him, adding another event to his schedule. It’s for your public platform.
“So, you’ve come out with another hit single,” the interviewer starts, beaming at him. His teeth are so artificially white, they seem to reflect the bright studio lights. “How does it feel to accomplish such a success yet again?”
“It’s really great,” Jeonghan answers honestly. “I’m very grateful to my manager, producer, and my beloved family. And, of course, all of the wonderful fans. I couldn’t have done any of this without them.”
“A touching answer as always, Jeonghan-ssi.” The man flashes a smile at the cameras. “Your new single To You was really well received by fans, especially for its fresh and passionate take on what it feels like to be in love.”
The blazer feels stiff now, under the heat of the lights. Jeonghan tries not to dwell too deeply on the true inspiration for the song he’d written late at night a couple years ago, overcome by his own heart.
“I’m really glad that everyone’s been enjoying it so much. That really was the intention,” he says, “to have a song that makes you feel like you’re floating.”
“And it does!” the interviewer laughs. “A lot of viewers really appreciated the sincerity of feelings that was conveyed through the song. Which raised the question; have you ever been in love before?”
Something akin to a late realization suddenly hits Jeonghan right there in the hot seat, under all those lights and cameras. His hand comes up to toy with the end of the scarf he’s wearing, a keepsake of treasured memories.
“Maybe,” he says with a wistful smile.
Wherever you are in the world right now, there’s a small part of him that dares to hope you’re watching.
“Maybe I have.”
thank you for reading! if you have any feedback, i'd love to hear it :) much love, ashi xx
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All That Matters
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Prompt: 24: “I don’t care what others say, I want to be with you and that’s all that matters to me.”
Word Count: 800
Setting: Post-Hydra recovery at the Avengers Compound
Summary: In the quiet of the Avengers Compound, you struggle with feelings of doubt and isolation, haunted by your past as a Hydra agent. But Bucky who understands the weight of being judged for things beyond your control, offers you a rare kind of comfort, proving that, despite the past, you truly belong—and he’s not going anywhere.
The Avengers Compound was quieter at night. Most of the team had retired to their rooms, the buzz of missions and meetings reduced to the occasional hum of distant machinery or the rustle of a breeze through the tall windows. You liked it that way—still, calm, with no one looking at you like you didn’t belong.
You were seated in the kitchen, the sharp metallic scent of dish soap filling the air as you meticulously wiped down the already-clean counters. It wasn’t about cleaning, not really—it was about control. About keeping your hands busy so your mind wouldn’t wander back to those memories you worked so hard to bury.
You heard the sound of boots behind you, heavy and deliberate. You didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. You knew the rhythm of his steps by heart.
“Bucky,” you said softly, stilling your hands on the cloth.
He didn’t say anything at first, just moved to lean against the counter beside you, his metal hand tapping idly on the surface. You could feel his eyes on you—blue, sharp, and all too perceptive.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” you asked, risking a glance at him.
“Could say the same for you,” he countered, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. But it faded quickly, replaced by something softer, more cautious. “You okay?”
You hesitated. Bucky was one of the few people who could ask you that question without it sounding shallow. He understood what it was like to carry the weight of your past, to feel the judgment of others every time you walked into a room. You didn’t have to explain it to him.
“Everyone thinks I don’t belong here,” you admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “That I’m… dangerous. Damaged.”
Bucky’s brows knitted together, his jaw tightening. He didn’t like hearing you talk about yourself like that, but he also knew you weren’t wrong. The Avengers had been civil to you—for the most part. But you’d caught the side glances, the whispered conversations that stopped abruptly when you entered the room.
You folded the cloth in your hands with precision, lining up the edges perfectly before placing it on the counter. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I don’t deserve to be here. Or to—” You stopped yourself before the words could slip out, but Bucky’s gaze sharpened.
“Don’t do that,” he said firmly.
“Do what?”
“Doubt yourself. Question if you deserve things like this—like us.” He stepped closer, his warm hand brushing against your wrist. “Because you do. More than anyone else in this damn place.”
You shook your head, swallowing hard. “They’ll never see me as anything other than what I was. A Hydra agent. A liability.”
“I don’t care what others say,” Bucky interrupted, his voice low but steady. He turned you to face him fully, his hands resting gently on your arms. “I want to be with you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
Your breath caught in your throat. The weight of his words, the conviction in his tone—it was overwhelming.
“Bucky, you can’t just—”
“Yes, I can,” he said, cutting you off again. There was a fire in his eyes now, the same stubborn determination that had kept him alive through decades of hell. “I know what it’s like to be judged for something you had no control over. To have people look at you like you’re a monster. And I know it doesn’t matter what they think. What matters is what I see.”
He reached up, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “And I see someone who’s kind, and smart, and stronger than she’ll ever admit. Someone I care about. So stop pushing me away.”
You blinked rapidly, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to spill. “Bucky, I… I don’t want to hurt you. Or anyone else.”
“You won’t,” he said simply. “You’re not who you were back then. And I trust you.”
The words were like a balm to your soul, soothing wounds you hadn’t even realized were still open.
“Okay,” you whispered finally, your voice trembling. “Okay.”
Bucky’s lips curved into a small, relieved smile. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to yours in a gesture that was as intimate as it was grounding.
“Good,” he murmured. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
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