#and i can't click into anything that my friends are suggesting :( like my brain just won't absorb them

[nexus-nebulae]

god i need a new hyperfixation

[rafecameronsslut4ever]

CASUAL pt.2— lando norris (angst)

pairing; fem!reader x lando norris summary: it took lando too long to realise it wasn't just 'casual'. warnings: a LOT of angst, toxic relationship, sexual implication, not proofread a/n: casual part 2 was not really a part of the plan but the audience had demands 🦧also i think this was too long lmao. AND IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY OMG

part 1 - casual

miami grand prix: the biggest pr nightmare for every driver—especially lando norris.

the media had been all over him that weekend, going to the lengths of literally calling him 'the hottest catch on the single market'. hollywood stars and instagram models were so desperate to marry him and have his kids that they didn't catch on the fact that he was a 23-year-old racing driver who couldn't give a fuck about them.

because he was stuck on you.

for weeks, he'd waited—hoping you’d reach out, or at the very least, watch his instagram stories. he posted shirtless photos, sun-kissed photos—hell, he even threw out a thirst trap just for you. But you didn’t take the bait. you didn't take the fucking bait.

you hadn't texted him or spoken to him since the moment you walked out of that hotel room weeks ago, so he didn't try to reach out either. "would've been a blow to my ego," he'd told sainz.

but now, he didn't give a shit about his ego. he was tired of waiting.

his eyes darted across the packed club, friends and guests scattered all around. he couldn't wait to get out of there.

he hadn't been drinking. didn't really feel like it. truth be told, he hadn’t been feeling much of anything at all.

pool parties, clubs, yachts, champagne and girls.

he was tired of the glitz and glam of his life, and you were the only escape from it.

but you were gone.

his mind wandered to that morning, when you had kissed him and the two of you had ordered room service. when he had held you for the last time.

he hated how the only thing on his mind was you. how it was the only thing on his mind all through the celebrations, as hookers danced around him and people tried to pour drinks into his mouth.

for fuck's sake, he had won a grand prix for the first time in his life, and yet he was unhappy.

how did he get here?

he looked up, eyes falling on a group of men in the VIP section, the lights illuminating their faces.

everyone could tell something was off with lando. he didn't want to do any of this.

all he wanted was you. you, you, you.

the girl who had left without an explanation.

why had you left, anyway? no calls, no texts. your friends avoided him, and you avoided his friends. it was like the two of you were nothing.

lando norris was many things, but he was not a fool. he could recognise when something was wrong, or when a situation had escalated beyond his control.

he knew that there was a reason why you left, but the reason never clicked in that thick brain of his. what had he done wrong? where had he gone wrong?

"i'm not feeling too well, mate." he muttered, handing the beer bottle back to the guy standing next to him.

okay, maybe not admitting his feelings for you had fucked things up. but, what could you expect? he didn't have the time to give you what you deserved.

not right now, at least.

lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really.

"what are you waiting for, then?" the other man asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"what?"

"just call her, bro. i know it's about a girl because there's no way any sane man would say no to expensive beers and a million hot hookers."

did lando even know this man? probably not.

"i can't call her. she doesn't want to talk to me. trust me, i've tried."

"have you?"

he didn't know how to deal with rejection. not like this, not with you. you weren't supposed to leave.

"judging by your sulkiness, i doubt you're going to find a girl like her again. and you'll never have her if you're here."

lando didn't have a heart of stone, as much as his social media persona might suggest. he didn't care for any of this. the women, the money, the fame.

he wanted to hold you again. kiss you, tell you he loves you. he wanted to hold your hand. he wanted to be near you, and only you.

so, when his feet hit the floor and he found himself walking towards the exit, he wasn't surprised.

yeah, it was foolish of him to leave a party full of women who were celebrating him (literally) for a girl who had ghosted him, but the need was stronger than his pride.

out of the yacht, he was dialling the only number he'd ever memorised. the phone rang, and then it rang again.

would she be wearing his clothes, or would she have gotten rid of everything related to him?

maybe she'd found another man, finally realising that lando was a bad investment.

as the phone rang, you were hidden in your apartment with blankets wrapped around you and a youtube video playing in the background.

it had been months since you'd heard the word 'casual' leave his mouth. months since you had fled london and monaco to move to miami.

at first, his words had echoed in your mind constantly, and you'd cried yourself to sleep a few times more than you'd like to admit.

but just like every heartbroken poet in history, the hurt faded and the pain slowly morphed into hatred. and anger.

you wanted to slam your head against a wall. scratch that, you wanted to slam his head against a wall.

it was so stupid, and you hated yourself for believing he'd been genuine.

it was just sex. that's all it ever was. it truly was just casual.

the phone was still ringing. your finger hesitated over the answer button. you weren't going to answer it.

it wasn't worth it. you didn't want to hear his voice. didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that his words had hurt you. you didn't want to know if he was sleeping around, if his girlfriends were prettier than you.

so the line went dead.

lando stood by the harbour, watching as yachts and ships sailed past him. the air was humid and his t-shirt clung to his body, the heat almost unbearable. the sound of waves, the distant laughter and music, and the sound of his ragged breaths.

he ran his fingers through his hair, looking around. where was his car?

he had to find his way back to his hotel. he was a mess, and his clothes were sticking to his skin. he needed to fix his appearance, buy a bouquet a flowers.

he checked the time on his watch, and cursed as he saw the numbers. it was almost 3 am. he wouldn't find flowers anywhere at 3 am.

"fuck it." he said, running over to his car. the drive was quiet, save for the low hum of music and his occasional swearing when someone drove a little bit slower than he'd like.

lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really. but he only wanted you. he was a hopeless romantic, and you were his muse.

when he pulled up outside the apartment, his nerves were going haywire. he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath before getting out of the car.

he knocked twice on the door and when it opened, his eyes lit up.

you stared back at him, sleepiness in your eyes and confusion etched on your face.

and god, did you look gorgeous.

he loved you, he realised. he had to cross his hands behind his back to stop them from reaching out and holding you close.

"lando?" you breathed out.

he had grown a slight stubble since you last saw him. his hair were still the same, except a little bit longer. his blue eyes were wide as he looked at you.

"hey," his voice was shaky.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

he wanted to say so many things. ask you why you left, where it went wrong, why you moved to miami. he wanted to declare his love for you, press his lips to yours, hold you by the waist. he wanted to hear you say that you loved him too.

he was so in love with you, and you had no idea.

"lando? why are you here?" you asked again.

he was at a loss of words. what could he say? he couldn't exactly just stand there and say nothing.

"because," his voice cracked, "i miss you."

your throat went dry. he could not just say that.

it had been weeks. weeks of him not contacting you, weeks of you not speaking to him. the phone calls had stopped, the text messages had stopped, the late night chats had stopped. everything was just gone.

and now, he missed you?

tears welled up in your eyes, a lump forming in your throat. you shook your head, pushing back the tears, "go away."

"what? no, wait. wait. don't do this." he pleaded, his voice fragile and desperate, like a child trying to avoid bedtime.

"lando-"

he interrupted you, voice louder than before. "can we please talk about this?"

"what is there to talk about?" you were raising your voice. you hated him. how could he act like this after all that happened?

"everything. just—please, can i come in?" he sounded so pathetic. he felt so pathetic. his hands were slightly hovering over the door, ready to push it open and walk in.

the request took you by surprise. "i-no."

you missed him. there was no denying that.

you wanted him to tell you it was okay. wanted to go back to that night in his mclaren, the night he told you he liked you. wanted the weekends spent in london with his family. you wanted him, all of him.

his curly hair wrapped around your fingers, blue eyes staring at you, soft lips kissing you. his cold hands grabbing yours, and his voice saying your name. you wanted it to not be casual.

"i just want to talk to you."

he was drunk. there was no other way he would've showed up here, let alone begged to talk to you. the fact that he needed to be drunk to have this conversation made your blood boil.

"do you still have my jacket?"

of course, you still had his stupid jacket. the one that had his smell embedded into the fabric. it was an exclusive print mclaren had given him, and he had swung it around your shoulders after the night you had first made love to each other.

but he didn't care about the jacket, and neither did you. it was just a reminder.

you were silent for a while, taking in the sight of each other. it was his breath mingling with yours.

"i love you." he whispered.

your breath hitched in your throat, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you sighed.

"i love you," he repeated to himself. "yes, i do. and i've known that since the day i met you."

you choked back sobs as you shook your head, "you're drunk, lando."

"i'm not," he chuckled, "maybe a little, but not enough."

then, he added, "i mean it. i love you." his voice was steady. he truly meant every word. but he didn't know what would happen now.

"what do you want me to say, lando?"

he sighed, "anything."

you laughed bitterly. anything, he said.

anything would've been better than what had happened.

"i don't think i can do this, lando."

"we can take it slow."

"you've never done slow."

he fell silent again because you were right. he'd never done slow. he didn't know how to take things slow. he was a fucking formula 1 driver, after all. slow wasn't something he did. he'd always lived life like it was the last day. and that's how he had lost you.

"i'm sorry," he began, his voice breaking. "i should've been a better person. i'm sorry for everything i did. i should've given you more, i-i should've loved you more, because you deserve so much more. i'm so, so, sorry."

"lando," you whispered, "it's not—"

"don't make excuses for me, please. i love you, i realy do. and if i have to spend the rest of my life proving that, i will." and he meant every word. "i just want you back."

your mind was racing, a million thoughts running through it. it was like a movie. his blue eyes, his voice, the desperation in his tone, the way he stood before you.

"okay," you muttered.

"wait, okay? does that mean—"

"you're gonna have to work for this," you said.

"i know, and i will. i promise."

you sighed, rubbing your temple. this wasn't a good idea. "get in."

lando's face lit up, and before you could change your mind, he had walked into the apartment. he hadn't really been here before, considering you moved here after the two of you had stopped talking. but the apartment was lovely, homely. everything you.

you closed the door behind him, watching him look around the living room.

"how'd you know where i live?"

he chuckled, turning to face you. "i'm a famous driver. i have my sources."

"i'm sure." a tense silence followed, neither of you knowing what to say.

"i'm not letting this happen again," he blurted, "i'm not. i don't know how, but i won't."

"i don't believe you." you scoffed.

"fuck, baby, what do i have to do for you to believe me?" he stepped towards you, closing the distance.

"stop calling me that."

"you are my baby." he tried to joke.

"lando, i'm not joking."

"i'm serious too," his voice was sincere, "i love you, and i'll do whatever it takes for you to believe me."

you had been through a lot together. the highs, the lows. you had seen him at his best, and at his worst. the good and the bad.

he moved closer, reaching a hand out to hold yours. you didn't know why, but the moment his hand touched yours, it was like a switch had flipped inside of you.

you let his hand wander over yours like a ghost, his calloused fingertips tracing over your knuckles. he intertwined your fingers together, eyes casted down.

"i've never cared about anyone the way i care about you." he admitted in a soft voice.

and then he pressed his lips to yours. his other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

and god, did he taste the same. lando had a way with his lips. it was a talent. he kissed you like he needed your lips to survive. he was desperate for your touch as if he had been starving without it.

you were so lost in the feeling that you hadn't realised how far you had pushed him until the back of his knees hit the couch, and he fell on top of it.

his eyes were wide, mouth hanging open. his shirt was halfway unbuttoned, exposing his chest and toned abs.

the two of you stared at each other, eyes searching the other's.

"i love you." he murmured for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

maybe it was the way his blue eyes bore into yours, or the way his lips quivered, or maybe it was the fact that he had driven across the city to say this.

but for the first time that night, you believed him. suddenly, the anger was gone. it was all gone.

"i love you, too." you whispered.

it was the only thing the two of you needed. the confirmation, the reassurance. the love.

you leaned down and connected your lips once more, hand reaching up to his curls and tugging lightly. he moaned into the kiss, pulling you on top of him.

your tongue entered his mouth, the taste of him making you lightheaded. his hands roamed over your body, the feeling of his skin against yours.

"baby," he whispered between kisses, "i want you so bad. i've waited so long."

his lips trailed along your jaw and down your neck, sucking marks into the sensitive skin.

"i want you," he murmured against the crook of your neck, "so fucking bad."

but he pulled away, flipping the two of you over so he was on top of you. he took off his shirt, and rested his head on your chest. he cleared his throat, "i should've asked this question earlier, but are you single?"

"yeah." you chuckled, running a hand through his curls.

"so, can i be your boyfriend?"

"lando norris," you hummed, "did you finally get the guts to ask me out?"

"yes," he smiled, lifting his head up to look at you, "yes, i did. will you be my girlfriend?"

"you're a dork."

"that's not an answer."

"yes," you laughed, "yes, i'll be your girlfriend."

lando grinned, and you grinned back.

it wasn't casual anymore.

(u guys im so sorry if i've tagged someone who doesnt want to be tagged i just had no idea how to let non-followers know part 2 is out bcs tumblr is not letting me reply to comments😭if anyone wants their tag removed, feel free to dm me!! i hope u liked this) @oscarpiassrri @meglouise00 @f1fantasys @technicallypleasanttree @ggaslyp1 @obxstiles @nataliambc @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @ushygushybaby @emilyroxy @yootvi @fishingarden @pillowprincess4him @herexpertcollector

[binniesbooks]

• DO FRIENDS KNOW HOW YOU TASTE?

YJ 999 .F25 2024

wc 3.8k

pairings bff!Yeonjun x cheater!reader (little bit of bf!Soobin x reader)

warnings explicit cheating, slight choking, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex, public fingering, creampie (+ if I forgot anything)

faye's note This is a product of my very own extreme Yeonjun brain rot as a Soobrangdan! Help! I kept on saying I'd cheat on Soobin with Yeonjun, BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DO NOT DARE CHEAT IF YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP. WE DO NOT TOLERATE CHEATING! 🚫 PLUS IF YOU HAVE FRIENDS , DO NOT GO OVERBOARD, UNLESS YOU TWO ARE DATING, GOODNESS! that's all, thank you cheaters 😂 (it's supposed to be a joke, cheater!reader 😭)

You and Soobin started dating not too long ago. You two met at the library, he had helped you out, reaching for a book that was too high for your reach. You two instantly clicked. After hanging out with him from time to time, you realized you had started to catch feelings.

On study days, you would be with him at the library. Coffee dates, picnics. You know the common ways of falling in love.

You love Soobin. You really do. He knows it. Everyone around you knows it. Even your friend -- Yeonjun.

Yeonjun has been your friend since high school. You met him way before meeting Soobin, obviously. And of course, Yeonjun was not an ordinary friend. He liked being close to you. He liked holding you. Sometimes you choose not to be with them at the same time because Yeonjun would practically hog you to himself.

But Soobin never said a thing. He keeps in mind, that you knew Yeonjun better than him. You met Yeonjun way before you dated him. He also promised himself not to get in your way. He didn't want to hurt the girl he loved most. That's how much Soobin loves you. Pure. Innocent. Modest.

He never allowed anything to develop between the two of you beyond a bit of physical contact. He preferred to handle things on his own rather than do anything he thought you might disapprove of. He was satisfied with just a kiss on the forehead or even a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes he would give kisses on the hand, but rarely on your lips. A few hugs would suffice.

He believes that you are still too innocent to take your relationship to the next level.

But of course, Soobin couldn't stay silent throughout his life. He felt the need to speak up too. "Y/n," Soobin holds your hand, brushing his thumb on top of your hand. "I know Yeonjun holds a special space in your heart." He was staring at you, eyes full of guilt and sadness. "But I'm feeling a little bit jealous. I'm sorry, I can't help it," Soobin confessed when the three of you were at a cafe.

Yeonjun was the one ordering. And that gave Soobin the chance to tell you what he felt."I'm sorry, Binnie. Don't get me wrong, okay? He's just a dear friend of mine. I have no one else besides you and him." Soobin leans into your hand as you cup his face, sighing as he closes his eyes.

However, the silence between you two broke when Yeonjun cleared his throat. He placed the tray on the table as he flopped down beside you, casually draping his arm around your shoulder.

Soobin averted his gaze. Quietly reaching for his drink. Sometimes he thinks he's not your boyfriend anymore, despite telling himself not to say a thing about this issue.

"Soobin, have you already reviewed for our exam tomorrow?" Yeonjun asked, acting as oblivious as ever.

"Well, yeah... I kinda browsed through it last night."

Yeonjun ran both of his hands on his face and said, "I did too. But it's math. And it's making me frustrated.”

"We can just share the table amongst the three of us tomorrow," you chimed, knowing well that the other two couldn't excel in math like you. Both of the males nodded at your suggestion.

The three of you ended up sharing one table on your test. Your teacher didn't pay much attention to the seating position, so it gave you the chance to change seats. Plus, he didn't check on his students while the test was happening, allowing the two males to peek openly at your paper.

Saturday came, and you got a call from Soobin, asking if you were free today and if you were down for a date.

"Y/n, are you busy? Do you wanna go with me to the amusement park that just opened?" he asked."Sure, Bin! I'm down! Let me just get ready!" You really wanted to make it up to him. "Okay, I'll pick you up. I love you."

"I love you too, Soobin."

Soobin never raises his voice toward you. He's so soft-spoken and gentle. You almost couldn't find a flaw in him.

Soobin came shortly, in his usual tee and jeans. A bright, dimpled smile flashed across his face when he saw you.

"Let's go?"

"Let's go!"

You enjoyed the date with him. In fact, you really love going out with him because he knows what to do, gets everything planned, and is always prepared for a plan B. You love Soobin. You love your boyfriend. So why, of all people, are you kissing Yeonjun at your front door?

"I'm glad you enjoyed our date. I'm really sorry for being jealous y/n. I promise not to say unnecessary things about your friendship with him." You were in Soobin's embrace the whole time while he was saying all of these.

"No, Binnie, I should be the one saying sorry," you admitted. Soobin only shook his head, "No, it's all good. Maybe I wasn't in my right mind at that time. I should've known better."

"Plus, I know you love me. You love me, right?" he added.

"Of course, you silly boy. I love you!" You pinched his cheeks and planted soft kisses on them. You stepped back a bit, cupped his face, and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. Soobin was stunned.

"Just one!" You giggled as his eyes grew wider. "Now go, you don't have to escort me all the way upstairs. It's getting late now."

Soobin nods, mind-hazy, and walks away like he was a hypnotized man. You chuckled at him before you marched upstairs to your unit.

You froze when you saw Yeonjun sitting beside your door. He stood up when he saw you, smiling from ear to ear, his eyes droopy.

"Were you out?" He asked when you approached him.

"I was. Why are you here, Jjunie--Holy cow! You're drunk!" You exclaimed when you stepped closer to him, the smell of liquor shooting through your nostrils.

"Just a few shots, not that much," his voice slurred. "Missed you so bad, baby..." he whispered, holding your face. "L-let's go inside, people will see--" You were cut off when his soft and trembling lips pressed onto yours as he pushed your back against the wall.

He pulled away, leaning his forehead against yours. “I fucking missed you so much, pretty," Yeonjun whispered again before diving in for another kiss, biting down on your lower lip. Slotting his thigh between your legs. He pulled away again, rubbing his thigh on your clothed cunt, the tiny dress allowing him to move his thigh freely.

"Y-yeonjun..." you whimpered as you looked up at him. "I-inside... Let's go inside... B-bedroom..." Yeonjun snatched the key from your hand as he rushed to open the door of your unit, shutting it closed once he pulled you inside.

He pushed you against the door once more, kissing you down to your neck.

"A-are you in a rush, Jjunie?" You chuckled, tangling your fingers on his black locks. Yeonjun pants and shakes his head. "It's just that. I miss how you taste... It's been a week..."

"So eager, love. So eager, I like that." You smiled at him. "Let me wash up first," you added as you kissed his nose. He then pulled away and hugged you as you wobbled your way to the restroom because of his weight.

Just as you bent down to the sink, about to wash your face, Yeonjun lifted the hem of your dress, pressing his hard-on on your ass as he held your face to make you stare at you and his image reflecting in the mirror, his other hand resting on your waist.

He slowly grinds on you, biting his lip, and stares at you, looking into your eyes through the mirror. You propped both your hands on the sink to keep your balance, letting Yeonjun rut in you.

Yeonjun stopped, gently massaging your waist. "Have you two kissed?" he asked. You slightly nod your head and say, "J-just a peck." Yeonjun's face darkened, and his hand that once held your face moved down to your neck, giving it a little squeeze. "I'm still your favorite friend, right?"

"Y-you will always be, Jjunie."

"Now, move," he commanded, tightening his hand on your neck. You gasped for air, as you slowly rubbed your ass on him. Yeonjun removes your panties, pulling them down to your thighs.

He slid his cock out of his boxers as he rubbed it on your wet folds.

"Poor Soobin. So oblivious to what's going on," Yeonjun smirked as he slowly pushed inside of you.

You felt the familiar stretch down there, causing you to falter and chant his name. Both of his hands are gripping your waist.

"You know my name very well, don't you? Given that I'm just your dear friend," Yeonjun started thrusting, as he picked up his pace. "How come you're still so tight for -fuck,- for me?" he added.

"T-too big, Jjunie! Ahh!" You felt yourself lose your remaining strength. So you had no choice but to lean your forehead against the sink.

"Shit, I'm close, baby, fuck!" His movement stuttered for a while before he stilled inside you. Then he moves again to let you cum.

Your whole body was trembling, and your legs wobbled when he pulled out. "Fuck, I came so much; will you be okay?" Yeonjun pulled you to face him, cupping your face. "I'm f-fine, Jjunie. T-thank you so much." You bit your lower lip, nodding your head as he hugs you.

You can still feel his cum dribbling down your thighs. “Let’s get you cleaned up." Yeonjun planted a soft kiss on your forehead before he lifted you up, carrying you to the tub.

"I'll go get your clothes; you start washing up."

You found yourself cozy in Yeonjun's arms once again on that cool night. You two were tucked in your bed as Yeonjun ran his fingers through your hair. You felt drowsy, surrendering your body to Yeonjun's embrace as you fell asleep.

When you woke up the next day, Yeonjun had already left your place. Maybe he did at dawn; he always does this; but you were used to it.

And the cycle went on. You and Soobin go out for a date, and Yeonjun waits for you at your front door -- may or may not be drunk. Something happens between you two; he leaves at dawn. Soobin was still as oblivious as ever. Yeonjun enjoys it. He knows you'll keep him around, cheat on Soobin over and over again, and let him fuck you no matter what day it is.

It's been a few months since this type of setup started, not to mention the fact that even before you met Soobin, your friend, Yeonjun, has been doing things with you.

"Y/n, it's my birthday tomorrow; can you do this friend a favor?" You could see his smug look over the phone call. "Do you mind joining me at my birthday party at the club? I know you don't wanna go to those kinds of places, but could you please reconsider?" He decided to invite you to a club, no, persuade you to join him.

You had no other choice. Since he rarely asks for requests, you complied. "Fine, fine, I'll go with you. Just this once, okay?" His chuckle resonates as he replies with a hum.

You asked for permission from Soobin to go, and of course, as your loving and considerate boyfriend, he gave you permission. "Only if you let me pick you up after," Soobin said over the phone.

"I'm fine Bin sweetie. It's not far from here. I can take care of myself," you assured him. He sighed in defeat, "Call me if anything happens."

"To the corner." Yeonjun was holding your waist, admiring how the dress you wore hugged your every curve.

"It's too dark," you groaned as you plopped on the corner couch.

The place was not too big but could accommodate at least a hundred people. "I'm gonna go blind before we get out of here, Jjun," you complained, the blinking colored lights making you dizzy and making you squint your eyes.

A bucket of beer was placed on the table in front of you, along with some expensive-looking bottles of liquor. You pour some into the glass, which you guessed was whiskey. Yeonjun was intently watching your moves. You handed him the glass. "Happy birthday, Jjun." You smiled at him.

A smirk was plastered on his face as he got the glass from you, swirling the liquid inside the glass.

The clubbing went well, to your surprise. Yeonjun was quiet most of the time. Aside from his constant compliments, nothing came out of his mouth.

"You're drunk. Let's get you home." Yeonjun sighed as he stood, trying to pull you. "It's y-your birthday Jjun! L-let's get wasted!" You slurred back.

He groaned as he ran his hands against his face. "You're borderline wasted, baby; get up." You shook your head until someone approached you.

"Hey! Y/n! Is that you?" The girl called out to you. You rubbed your eyes as you stared at the girl in front of you.

"It's me, Ria, Soobin's cousin. Remember?" Yeonjun's gaze shifted from you and the girl who approached you.

"Ah! I remember now!" You exclaimed.

"Where's Soobin? And who's this guy you're with?" She asked.

"A close friend of mine, it's his birthday; we're just celebrating." You tried your very best to speak straight, and it's safe to say you did succeed.

"Happy birthday," she glanced at Yeonjun, to which Yeonjun replied with a small smile, "I'm gonna call Soobin to pick you up, okay? It's getting late; it's not safe outside."

"I'm fine; you don't have to. Besides, I'm with my friend."

"Friend..." You can tell her eyes were judging Yeonjun at this point. From the way, Yeonjun was holding your hand.

"He's really just a friend; you don't have to worry. Besides, I even asked Soobin for permission and they even know each other too." Ria nodded, sighing as she got up and bid goodbye. Even though her phone was already pressed against her ear.

"Friends...Do friends know how you taste?" Yeonjun chimed as he sat beside you once again, his face resting on his palm above the table.

"Y-yeonjun, keep your mouth shut..."Yeonjun gently slid his hand onto your thighs, down to your core.

"Jun... J-junnie, not h-here... Ahh.." his fingers traced your clothed fold.

"You saying something? Can't hear you; it's too loud in here," he asked as if he was not doing something...his fingers slowly thrusting inside your cunt.

He pushed his two digits inside, pushing and pressing. You held on to his arm tightly. Whimpers and whines are escaping your mouth.

"More?" Yeonjun taunts, "you need more?" You nod frantically as you watch his lips curl up to a smirk.

A few more minutes of his languid strokes, and you can feel yourself nearing your high.

Your eyes widened when you saw Soobin from the entrance door, his tall figure letting you know he was there.

"Y-yeonjun, your hand. H-he's here... S-soobin is here... ohh...please.. shit... M-more..." You clutched on his dress shirt, moving your hips unconsciously, begging for more, even though you could see Soobin looking for you.

"Please, baby, I need you... I need you so much..." You whimpered with a shaky voice.

A sly smirk played on Yeonjun's face. "What should we do then? Your boyfriend's here already. You need to go home." He chuckled at your trembling and drooling figure as you kept on moving your hips.

"Where is she?" Soobin asked her cousin, Ria.

"At the corner table, she's with someone whom she says is a friend." Soobin nodded as he headed towards the table at the corner, Ria following along.

"What the... I swear they were just here." Ria was confused, you were nowhere to be found. Soobin tried calling you. After six times, someone picked up the call.

"She's with me. Don't worry, she's fine. I'll take care of her." The voice over the line was Yeonjun. Soobin didn't know if he should be angry, jealous, or thankful. Nevertheless, he trusted you, and hence he just headed home. At least he knew you were safe.

Yeonjun threw the phone in the backseat of his car. "Fuck, at least wait till we are home, baby... Shit ahh!" He gripped tightly on the steering wheel as he bucked his hips up, hitting your throat.

"Wait til we're home, and you're done for, you-- fuck!" His lips are red and swollen from the biting as you bob your head on his cock.

Lucky for him, the traffic wasn't that bad. He decided to head to his place instead of yours. He was thinking Soobin might come to your place. Just to be safe. Besides, Soobin didn't know where he lived.

If there was a competition about holding back, Yeonjun could've won. He managed not to cum inside your mouth. He wanted you in his bed, not in the car. You were too pretty for public sex.

His front door burst open as he dragged you upstairs. His steps were heavy and rushed.

Without further ado, he quickly got rid of your flimsy dress, pushing you onto the bed. He did not waste any time, slipping out of his clothes, eyes full of lust. the moment he saw you lying on the bed.

The bed dipped under his weight. "How come you're so shy now, hm?" He taunts. "Show me your daring side; you just sucked me off in my car, and now you're covering your pretty little face?" Yeonjun chuckled as he pried your hands off your face.

"I hate to say this, but you're acting like a slut. My bratty slut." You whimpered at his words. You're not used to him calling you names, yet it stirred something in you.

Yeonjun hovers above you as he plays with your nipple, watching you squirm.

"My, my. Look at you. What a good, beautiful slut. A cheater, indeed." You might tear his sheets by how tightly you were clutching them."Y-yeon... J-junnie..." Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when his tongue swirled on your nipples.

He started planting wet and open-mouthed kisses on your chest. Leaving splotchy red marks in the process. Then his lips claimed yours in a searing kiss. But it wasn't aggressive; instead, it was a passionate one. A kiss that clearly says he doesn't only want you, but he also loves you dearly.

"I love you... I love you y/n. I can't do this anymore; I can't watch you with Soobin anymore. Please, I want you to myself."

You never thought that Yeonjun actually liked you to this extent. You thought it was just a normal thing to be friends with benefits.

"S-should I break up with him?" You asked as you held his face closer to you. "Do you promise to take care of me just like how we are now?" Yeonjun nodded, kissing your forehead.

You were caught off guard when he rubbed his tip on your wet cunt. "Stay away from him; you're mine. You were mine from the start." As he kept on teasing you with his cock.

"G-give it to me, Jjun, please... Ohhh.." You were moving your hips with him, hugging him, wanting him closer to your body.

The stretch was familiar. It felt so good that you pulled his hair unconsciously.

"P-please keep pulling my hair, fuck, I love it. Holy shit." Yeonjun was into hair-pulling? You smiled; you never knew this side of him. He started thrusting, his warm flesh dragging over your mushy walls.

"D-did Soobin g-get to feel you like this?" his voice shaky as he slowly pulls out and slams back into you. Eliciting a yelp and a moan from you.

"N-no! Only y-you... O-only you, Jjunie..." His grin grew wider after knowing Soobin didn't even have the chance to split you and see this side of you.

"You're a bad girl y/n, you know that?" He played with your clit as he stopped thrusting for a while. You shook your head in disagreement. "I-i'm a good g-girl!"

"Do good girls cheat? Hm?" You bit your lip as you melted into his gaze. "Greedy too. You have a boyfriend, yet you're fucking your best friend. Such a whore."

"Yeonjun..." you whined, tears escaping your pretty eyes.

"Why are you crying, my pretty whore? Am I not making you feel good?" He pulled out fully, teasing his tip once again on your folds.

"P-please say i-i'm a good g-girl.." You pleaded, tears still flowing from your eyes. "You're my good little whore, baby. You're not bad for cheating on Soobin with me, you deserve this good cock." He cooed at you with a wide grin, slamming back again inside you.

"Now be my good baby and pull on my hair again, will you?"

You tangled your fingers through his dark locks, pulling them every time he thrusts inside. He can't let you see his red cheeks, deciding to hide into your neck the entire time, busying himself with planting hickeys on your porcelain smooth skin. His thrusts were so strong that you came two times in a row already.

"It feels so fucking good... Shit." He couldn't stop telling you how amazing he felt every time you pulled on his hair. "It feels too good; I think I'm gonna cum," he groaned on your neck, his thrusts growing sloppy.

You nodded frantically, wanting him to cum inside you again and again. Filling you up to the brim. To let his cum overflow inside your pussy.

It only took him a few more thrusts before he spilled inside, painting your walls white. His cock pulsated inside your cum-filled pussy. He pulled out gently, not wanting to spill his cum, pushing his cum more inside of you with his two fingers. You felt so sensitive that you started to whimper underneath him.

"I hope you don't forget what you've said, because you're drunk," he sighed as he lay beside you, pulling you into a hug. Your arms reached over his waist, hugging him back. "I won't. I'm already sober."

"Don't joke around. I almost dragged you out of the club because you seemed borderline drunk, baby." He pouted. "I swear, I'm sober, Yeonjun. I started being sober when your cock reached my throat earlier." You chuckled, giving his chest a few kisses. A blush crept up his cheeks as he buried his face on the top of your head.

"Just tell me when you're ready to go again, hm? I want more," he whispered. "Five minutes. Let's continue after five minutes," you chimed as you littered his neck with hickeys.

@binniesbooks 2024

[forever-rogue]

Howdy, friend. I’ve been stewing for months trying to think of a fluff request to send you, but I’ve come up short bc I generally have smut on the brain. But I think I did find something!

Eddie, not really knowing how to about telling you how he feels, does something extravagant for your birthday—the first birthday he’s been around for? ����

AN | Eddie would absolutely plan the best birthday ever! Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | None

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.7k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," you looked up from the book you were reading and found Eddie dramatically throwing himself onto the couch. He hadn't been bothered to knock before letting himself into your apartment. You loved that you were both on that level of friendship, "I thought what we had was special."

"Umm…hello to you too?" You bookmarked your page before tossing the book onto the coffee table, "what was it that I didn't tell you?"

"Your birthday," he hissed, lifting his head up and glaring at you from between his messy curls, "you didn't tell me it was next week!"

"I wasn't aware that I had to," you giggled at his dramatics as he scoffed at you. You known him for almost a year now but this was the first birthday of yours that you were spending together, "its not a big deal, Ed. I don't really do much for my birthday normally. It's just another day."

"Another day?" He sat up and clutched at his heart as he shook his head, "I can't believe you're saying that surviving another year of life is no big deal. It's like…a huge deal."

"Eddie," you got up from your comfy, overstuffed armchair and sat down next to him on the couch. He had such a big heart and always showed his love for those around him - it was one of the most endearing things about him, "you are so sweet and lovely, truly. But I don't need anything fancy. Just having you in my life is plenty."

He looked at you with a lopsided grin that was nothing short of magical. You put your hand on his knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. He sighed softly, nudging your side with his elbow and hoping you wouldn't notice the bubblegum hue of his cheeks, "I like having you in my life too, princess. A lot."

If only you knew just how very much.

"Good," you stood up and stretched, unaware of how closely he was watching your every move, "glad we're on the same page. Now come, I was gonna watch make hot chocolate and watch a scary movie. You in?"

"As if that was ever a question," he bounced to his feet and followed after you eagerly, "wait - do you have any mini marshmallows?"

"Duh. I'm not a monster."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Eddie wasn't exactly sure what he was going to going to do for your birthday but he knew he was going to do something. It would be something big and all out. He had to let you know how he felt, or at least strongly suggest. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to be just your friend.

Quite frankly, he'd fallen in love with you a long time ago. Probably when he'd met you that night at the bar. The two of you were strangers, both new to New York and without friends. He'd been the first man you'd met that hadn't made you feel uncomfortable and the two of you clicked instantly. You'd quickly become best friends.

But along with that, Eddie had learned about your past heartbreak, including the one that had left you unsure of ever wanting another relationship. That was largely the reason Eddie had made sure to keep things on a friendly level. He didn't want to push you away. 

Now though, he couldn't hold it back any longer. He longed to hold your hand, to kiss you and touch. Everything - all of it. He wanted it all with you.  Despite all the baggage you insisted you had, Eddie wanted you and only. He had lots of baggage too, that's what he always reminded you of. But it didn't matter - you had each other.

You could tell that he was up to something, he’d been acting weird. And that was saying a lot for Eddie. You tried to ask him a few times but he never admitted to anything, and kept insisting that everyone was fine and normal. Peachy. 

Internally, meanwhile, Eddie was anything but peachy. He was busy trying to plan the best birthday ever. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to do anything for your birthday, it just had never been  a big deal for you. As long as you were surrounded by the people you loved and cared about, all was well. This year, you’d realized, it would be different - you didn’t have a ton of friends in New York (save for Eddie of course) and your family was scattered. You didn’t really have any plans or intent to make any plans. You’d have been happy with heading home after work and enjoying some takeout or pizza from one of your favorite places and watching a movie. Preferably with Eddie, but you weren’t going to force anything on him. The last thing you would ever want to do would be to chase him away.

“Eddie?” you cut through his thoughts when you waved your hand in front of his face. The two of you were out at dinner, hitting up your usual weekend spot. He blinked a few times before properly looking at you, “you alright there, space cadet?”

“Mhmm,” he grabbed a big bite of his pasta and shoved it in his mouth, chewing carefully and thoughtfully in order to have a moment to think of what to say to you. You set your own fork down and picked up your beer, drinking the rest of it while staring Eddie down. He was not getting away with his odd little behavior any longer - not that you thought he had anything to hide of course. 

“Mhmm,” you repeated slowly as he swallowed thickly, “what’s up, Eddie? You’ve been acting so on edge this week. Did something happen?”

“No! No,” he calmed down, face warming up as you raised an eyebrow at him, “I was just thinking about your birthday.”

“My birthday,” you repeated as he nodded like you were the crazy one for not making a bigger deal out of your own birthday, “what about it?”

“I just wanted to know if you had any plans and if you didn’t if there was something you wanted to do,” your heart constricted at the sweet smile on his face as you blinked back the stinging at the back of your eyes. No one had ever been as considerate about Eddie, “I don’t want to intrude or just assume that you’d even want to hang out with me but yeah.”

“Of course I want to spend time with you, Eddie. I always want to spend time with you,” you reached across the table and put your hand on top of his and gave it a gentle squeeze, “but just to be clear, I don’t have any plans and I’d love to spend the day with you.”

“O-oh,” his doe eyes grew wide as he let what you had said sink in, “wow. Cool. Is there anything in particular you want to do? Any ideas or requests?”

“I don’t need anything special,” you shook your head sweetly, “just wanna spend time with you, that’s all.”

“Sweetheart,” he huffed dramatically in that very Eddie way that you adored. You laughed softly as he leaned in, “you realize that I’m not going to let that happen, right?”

“Yeah,” you leaned, so close that you could almost kiss him - and you wanted to. You really wanted to. But you couldn’t just go ahead and do that. Not now….but maybe one day, “I know, Eddie.”

“Good,” he reached up and gently booped your nose which only caused you to giggle. He loved that sound way too much - it always made you feel a certain type of way, “I shall plan the day’s festivities then and your only job will be to attend. If you would happen to be agreeable to this of course.”

“I am more than agreeable,” you promised. You had a feeling that somehow this was going to be the best birthday ever. Even just the sheer fact of getting to spend it with Eddie was more than enough. 

If only you knew that Eddie felt the exact same way. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When Eddie had said that he had a great day planned for your birthday, he hadn’t been kidding. Since it was the weekend, you both had the entire day to spend together. It started early in the morning with Eddie coming over to your apartment to take you out to see the sunrise, followed by breakfast at your favorite brunch spot. Normally you wouldn’t have been such an early riser but you had to admit that there was something magical about being up early with only Eddie around and watching the beautiful colors shift and bloom on the horizon. 

After that it was a day of adventures with running around the city, trying to put together the puzzles of the scavenger hunt that Eddie had put together. Because of course he had - it was just a very Eddie thing to do. Eddie was thoroughly amused watching you run around and try to figure out his cryptic riddles. It was even better when your face lit up with each piece that you put together and all the treasures you found along the way.

The day ended up with the two of you outside of the city, at a small restaurant that had a perfect view of the sunset. It was such a sweet gesture and felt incredibly romantic and it definitely settled something within your soul. 

“I don’t think I could have imagined a better day than this, Eddie,” you whispered softly, his eyes reverent and tender as he looked you over. Truthfully, he couldn’t quite have imagined a better day either, “this was really wonderful. No one’s ever done anything this thoughtful for me before.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you ate in silence, exchanging shy glances every now and then. Something between the two of you had definitely shifted and while you weren’t quite sure what it was, it definitely felt good. After a little while, Eddie set down his fork and cleared his throat, capturing your attention.

“I have to get this out or I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do this,” your eyes widened in surprise as you tried to figure out what Eddie could possibly be referring to. Your mind immediately went to the worst and you were sure that he was going to find some way to end your friendship. You had no clue what you’d do without him - he’d become such a huge part of your life. Honestly, he was probably the singular most important part of your life. 

“Eddie?” your eyes started to tear up when he didn’t say anything for a few moments. He seemed to be looking anywhere but your eyes…until he finally found the courage to. It was hard to read what was in those pretty brown eyes, but you didn’t detect any malice. That was good at least, “what is it?”

“I…” he ran a hand through his curls and let out a low sigh, “I’m in love with you.”

Time seemed to stand still as his words rang around in your head over and over. You tested out every possible meaning of his words. But then it hit you that there was only one - and there was always only one - possible answer.

“Oh,” you blinked at him and his cheeks warmed up as he tried not to panic because of your lack of a full response, “oh.”

“I-I know that you said you have a lot of baggage and umm don’t necessarily want another relationship,” he stammered nervously, letting out a nervous chuckle, “and I’d never want to pressure you or anything to have a relationship or anything more, but I just wanted you to know. It felt wrong not to tell you, like I was being dishonest with you and myself.”

“Eddie-”

“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us,” he whispered. He was slowly starting to feel like this had been the wrong decision, “I, umm, you’re just so amazing and I love everything about you and I-I-”

“Eddie.”

“I know you say you have baggage and I have it too and I just…there’s no else I could imagine doing this with,” he was stammering so nervously now that it was nothing but endearing. It still felt like a bit of a wild dream - you’d always imagined that you’d be the one in his position, spilling your guts out to him, “I want to spend my life with you. I want to share all our baggage, no matter how heavy. I just…love you a lot.”

Your lips pulled into a pout before you let out a small sigh. Before you could say anything, you took his face in your hands, brushing your thumb over his cheek before pressing your lips to his and kissing him gently. When you pulled back he looked at you in pure shock and surprise. You couldn’t contain your little giggle of nervous excitement as he pulled himself back to reality. 

“So…umm,” he waved his hands around nervously as he had a tendency to do, “wow. Did you really do that? Did that happen?”

“Yes,” you laughed softly, resting your forehead on his shoulder, “that actually happened, Edward.”

“Does that mean that you might feel the same way? About me?” you lifted her head and pressed a few kisses along his jaw. You put your hand on his neck, gently ghosting your fingers along his soft skin. You felt him practically shiver at your touch; he was watching your every move with curious, soft eyes. 

“Yeah,” a wistful little sound escaped your lips, “I do, Eddie. More than you could ever know. You mean the world to me, you silly, wonderful, amazing man.”

“Wow,” he couldn’t help himself as he leaned in and pressed a soft, tentative kiss to your lips. He could feel your lips pulling into a smile and that made him feel something he couldn’t quite put into words, “will you say it again? Please?”

“I love you, Eddie Munson,” you beamed at him, stomach flipping in happy somersaults, “I want you and only you - every last little bit. I thought I never wanted another relationship again. Turns out, I just had to be patient and wait for the right person - you.”

“Sweetheart,” he never realized until that very moment just how much he needed to hear those words. No one had ever said anything like that to him before, no one had ever chosen him like that - no one had ever loved him like you did, “fuck - I am going to marry the hell out of you one day.”

Your mouth dropped open and pulled into a sugary sweet smile. Of course Eddie would make a declaration like that - but you also knew that he was being serious. In his very own Eddie way, he’d just made a promise that you both knew he would keep. 

“Well, I’ll look forward to that,” you bit the inside of your cheek, “I hope you intend on making good on that promise.”

“Oh I will,” he threw his arms around you in a tight squeeze, giving you what might have been the best hug of all time, “I will. Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Eddie,” you burrowed yourself into him as much as possible, melting into his gentle touch and warmth, “this has been the best birthday ever.”

“For now - I’ll make it even better next year!”

“I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you, birthday girl.”

[dairy-farmer]

Actually? Can't stop thinking about this possibly expanded Time-Loop Of Bad Ideas AU? Because EVERYONE could get one! That Idol was made for Life Lessons and good at it's job!

Why NOT Moar Loops~☆?

And? Was GOING to suggest the whole BatFam. But this time not together. BUT THEN? My muse(adhd brain) smacked me and called me a coward! Go BIGGER they demanded! That sexy, sexy genius(me)!

That bust was probably not in Gotham! Or at least, not FULLY in Gotham. Maybe it was Superman, maybe someone else, but SOMEONE saw the Idol when Bruce found it.

We have PROTOCOLS, Batman.

That YOU made.

GDI. He sighs, but admits it's true. And Magic Bullshitry means getting scanned for Curses and Compulsions. Everyone up to the Watchtower. *various Bat Children groans of annoyance* No getting out of it. Come on, better this then getting possessed.

They Zeta up. Annoyed but here.

It's late and they'll probably miss dinner.

Come to find out? Fuckin EVERYONE but Captian Marval and Wonder Woman, who knows Magic, is off doing "Magic". Just... unspecified, vauge, could be anywhere, "Magic".

REALLY?!

AND they get pulled into a last minute, emergency, meeting about where they should store the Idol. Because all Wonder Woman and Marvel can TELL them about it? Is "Yep, Cursed. Probably."

And so they are annoyed. Everyone is arguing. Tensions are getting higher and higher. Somebody mutters a snide comment about somebody ELSE'S sidekick, and? Punching breaks out. Shoving. The big three stand to break it up.

But it's too late.

Some IDIOT throws a CHAIR. Their target, being a trained hero, OBVIOUSLY dodges. Which means it sails right across the table and HITS THE IDOL. Crash!

BOOM.

Everyone is slammed back by a lightshow and huge wall of air. Wonder Woman is FURIOUS. Marvel scared. Everyone gets checked out. Everyone, Go Home and isolate for AT LEAST 24 hours. Report any symptoms or strange thoughts.

They go home. Go to bed. Midnight.

Click.

Everyone locked in their own little Loops.

Now, some of those affected? Lesbians. Married and grossly, gooey, shmoopy, "No, yooou~♡" hang-up type In Love. Or just not in to him.

But! How many people in Loops? Do you think? Get that Bad Idea impulse~

Feel their eyes get drawn towards the Highly Competent and Sexy, Red Robin? Pretty-boy Tim Drake? Their Friend, colleague, or the son of such? It's a time loop. Who would ever know? They HAVE always been... curious.

I mean, they'd treat him right. It's not like they're HURTING anybody! Doing anything against his consent. It's just a Bad Idea.

Batman would murder them. Nightwing would help. Launch them straight into the nearest black hole. Or it would CHANGE things. Their relationship altered forever. Or... well, he's their Brother. Their Son.

So many reasons Not Too.

But it's a Time Loop.

They wear you down. Mentally and emotionally. You get lonely. A little bit crazy. Start doing things you know you shouldn't.

Like eating out your Boy until he's sloppy and ruined, fingering him for hours. Just to feel that sweet heat in your hand. Lazily resting you head on a trembling stomach, not letting him escape. Not hearing him ask for it to end, only whimper that it's too much. Because he's so good for you. And always has been.

Or finally breaking down, when the loneliness gets unbearable. And clinging like an octopus, as you bend your little Tim in HALF. Rolling and snapping your hips like you want to crawl inside his skin. Soaking in the pleasured cries your punching out with every thrust. How CLOSE you finally are.

Sneaking in windows, early in the morning. Teammates, Supers and Speedsters. Crimelords, here to pound him rough and sweet on his own bed. People who should NOT, but do~

Why so early? Uncle Clark?

What brings you to Gotham, Hal Jordan?

Hi, Roy, looking for Jason?

Even crossing paths, as choices diverge things. Ah, Aquaman! Your Majesty, what did you need me for?

All while Tim is, in his OWN Loop? Discovering that Sex is actually kinda awesome. And that he should never be left unsupervised. But mostly the first one!

And THIS time? Because I am a generous and benevolent Enabling Jackass? He DEFINITELY steals Dick's "time to threaten Deathstroke" burner phone. And uses it for purposes other then intended.

One stack of info, several shiny new crates of ammo, and showing up in Dick's Robin costume later? He's in Cairo getting his guts destroyed by a supersoldier. The day resets before Slade even breaks a sweat. Tim on the other hand? Passed "fucked incoherent" about three hours back and would probably shoot him, if the dick weren't making him too uncoordinated and stupid.

Nonetheless? Bats pull miracles. And Tim finds Constantine. Who refuses to TOUCH anything of the "learn a life lesson" variety. Since too many deity have it out for him.

But he is just a man.

And finds himself suddenly MUCH more agreeable and willing to try, after being dragged into another room and slammed against a wall. Blown by Batman's kid.

Nothing like face fucking a Robin to motivate a man to greatness, he discovers.

Which? Is when everyone gets their assorted bank of Loop memories. Lot of boredom for a few. Lovey Dovey bonding for others. Life lessons etc.

But?

Oh.

Oh My God.

Kon is panicking. As it filters in. Tim, bro, he can EXPLAIN! Constantine has cut off in amusement. Because, see? This? This right here is why he avoids- blah blah blah- *white noise* *Distant sound of Kon panicking and his Phone trying to explode itself with texts*

Because HOLY SHIT. Tim stares into the middle distance and realizes? So... SO many people jumped at the chance to fuck him. Like... A LOT.

So many.

His head is FULL of getting RAILED. Kon looks like he's gonna cry. Clark is ripping the door off the hinges. He can explain! Kon no longer looks like he's gonna cry. Explain WHAT, Clark?!

Tim fucked...So Many People.

Or was it Fucked By?

Both?

Does.... does he have Boyfriends now? Bootycalls? A harem?

..............whoops?

*arguing over Tim only gets louder as more Heros show up*

-🐼🐼🐼

all of them taking the opportunity to fuck tim- including some people tim's horny brain hadn't even gotten to considered but now had memories of fucking!😭😭

[brooke121000]

.• the tortured poets department •.

Spencer Reid x bau!user

part 2 - part 1

fluff, idiots in love, early seasons Spence, awkward romance, eventual smut double

posted on Wattpad and ao3!! Highly recommend checking it out on Wattpad as updates might come faster.

The first case was.. okay. I mean, it went alright. I suppose I was expecting more. Some extreme. A big failure, or a huge win. It just.. went okay. We solved the case alright. It was a simple serial killer case, all female victims. It ended up being the phone guy. 

The next two days of work were.. a learning curve. Hotch gave me insight on how to read a suspects cues in an interrogation, and me and Spencer had several conversations about old film, Greek philosophers, and food, of all things. I wasn't about to say that there was a spark between us, but there was something.

A kinship. An understanding.

When we arrived back at the office late at night, we were all mildly tired. The lights were all off, except for a few desk lamps illuminating the wooden surfaces. Several sighs and groans of relief came from the team as we pooled through the doors. My eyes flickered to the clock, which, to my surprise, still read, in bold red letters- 

6:54

I furrowed my brows, turning back to the team. "Geez, it's so early. Feels like midnight already."

We all migrated to the desk area, sitting in our respective chairs, and I let a little giggle slip when Morgan spun in his at a speed I frankly- did not think was possible. I ran my hands over my face as Elle and Morgan discussed what to do with the hours remaining in the day. "We could go out.." he smirked. 

We all contemplated it, and I plopped down on a chair, tucking my knees close to me. I could feel my heartbeat in my knees. I brushed my hair back, and then wiped under my eyes just in case my mascara was running.

Suddenly, my brain pinged. Shoot. I can't. The essay. I sighed. 

"I wish I could.. I have an essay to write, apparently."

"Hm? I thought you weren't in college?" Elle said, her brows raised with a little smile. The question felt vaguely malicious, but I answered anyway. "I'm not. I have a friend- who's still in college though. She needs an essay on the psychology of armed robberies. Some project, I dunno."

Spencer's brows knitted together. "She wants an.. essay? That's not a casual request.. at all, actually."

I shrugged, acknowledging the glaringly obvious, very true statement. "Well, she's a really good friend of mine.

Morgan's lips parted in surprise. "Wow. Well, go write your essay then, I guess. Nice of you."

I groaned, then threw my head back in frustration. "This.. sucks."

"I could help you."

I turned in confusion, meeting Spencer's voice. "Really? It's.. you don't have to." He shook his head, grabbing his bag close to him as he sat back on the desk. 

"No, it's.. it's no problem. I know a lot on the topic."

I nodded.

"..hey, have you ever used a typewriter?" 

Spencer said with a small smile. 

"I.. haven't. Are you plotting something?"

He let out a small chuckle. "No, no I'm not plotting anything. It's just, if you're going to write an essay, I have a beautiful antique typewriter you'd.. probably enjoy."

I grinned. I wasn't expecting the offer, but gladly accepted it. I tried to ignore how I felt my heart beating faster at the idea of being alone with him. Something told me Spencer wasn't the kind of guy to offer to hang out and write together on a moments notice, but I agreed well enough. 

Me and Spencer awkwardly exchanged numbers, and then turned back to the teams conversation. in the night, our small conversations died down, and my eyelids felt heavier. Spencer had already gone home, and I figured I should probably go home if I wanted to clean my apartment in time. so I said my goodbyes.

As I left the building, my heels clicking on the sidewalk while I looked for my car through the pitch black street, I contemplated why Spencer had made his suggestion. Maybe it was because we had formed some sort of kinship on the case. Maybe he's simply offering to help out a coworker, and I'm totally crazy. I'm not really sure these days.

Later, I figured I should probably call Spencer and make sure he was still coming over. I eyed the phone on my nightstand before I eventually found the courage in myself to pick it up and punch in his number.

I held the phone up to my ear, and waited as the shrill ringing echoed. For a second, I found myself hoping he wouldn't answer.

And then he did.

"Hello.. (y/n)?"

His voice was soft and smooth, like honey pouring straight through my phone speaker. I straightened my posture and cleared my throat. 

"Um, yeah- hi, Spencer. I'm just checking up, are we still on for tonight?"

There was a second of silence, and then some shuffling. "Oh- yeah, yeah. We are. I'll be there in.. thirty minutes? If that's alright?"

Thirty minutes? 

Fuck, that's soon. 

"Yeah, sure. Thanks. See you then." I smiled a little, before hanging up.

I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that I spent the next thirty minutes doing my makeup and changing into something cuter. I couldn't help that I wanted to impress him. 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Trudging up the beaten down steps of the moon-lit apartment complex, heavy cardboard box balanced awkwardly in my arms, the reason why I had offered to even do this was still not apparent to me. I didn't do things like this.

I could be in my apartment right now, safe and sound, making dinner. But I wasn't. Perhaps it was something about the way (y/n)'s eyes had saddened when she realized she would have to miss out, or maybe it was that she was a beautiful woman and I was an idiot. She was- strikingly beautiful, after all. Maybe I am, really, a simple person.

I had no intention of overwhelming her, and I didn't see this as a date. I hoped she didn't. Maybe this was going to be a one time thing. Hopefully this was going to be a one time thing. I don't think I could handle all the childlike, immature teasing me and (y/n) would have to endure if we were to actually see each other outside of work regularly. God, I have to stop assuming things of this. I'm helping her write an essay, that's all.

That's all. 

My hands were almost shakey when I knocked, and the door opened promptly, my face hit with her perfume.

(y/n) smiled, a real, warm smile. She brushed a strand behind her ear, shuffling to the side to allow me in. "Hi, Spencer! I'm glad you could make it. I could.. really use the help."

I nodded, striding into the apartment as I looked around "oh, don't worry, it's.. really no problem." I smiled softly.

The apartment was cozy, and well decorated. Several lamps and candles let off an incandescent auburn light, and the general area smelt of cinnamon and old furniture. It was unusually nice. It matched her.

"I've already started the essay." She said cheerfully. I placed the heavy typewriter box down on the island, and looked over at (y/n), who had already fluttered across the space. She was in the kitchen, flicking on a black kettle with a soft click. 

"Tea?"

I nodded. I still felt awkward in the apartment, like I was looming into her space, casting some sort of uncomfortable shadow. We had only met a few days ago, and here I was in her home. Maybe she's just too nice for her own good, too quick to allow people into her life. I frowned at the thought. 

I had already gotten the black and red typewriter set up, flicking small metal switches and adjusting things. She smiled, her eyes widening. "Ooh, my gosh, that is pretty."

Soon enough, she came around the island with two tea mugs. She held them up. "Mushroom or ghost?" 

I chuckled a little, and happily accepted the cartoony ghost mug. "This'll do."

She immediately walked to the island, balancing the mug as she plopped down in a chair, crossing her legs under her. I noticed her mismatched, colorful socks and cracked a smile before I sat down on the next chair, making sure to keep a healthy distance. She reached across the marble to grab her laptop, and I put a hand under the mug to stabilize it, our knuckles brushing together. I tried to ignore the heat in my cheeks as she finally got a hold on the laptop and pulled it back into my lap, opening it. She flicked through her tabs.

She landed on a series of emails, between what seemed to be her and a close friend, gossiping. It was in moments like these I wished my reading speed wasn't what it was. I quickly absorbed each text.

"Omgg, no!!"

"Bitch, you have to! How tall is he??"

"Tallllll.. capital T 🫣"

"You can totally pull him!! Do it."

"You're crazy."

(y/n) gasped a little. "Oh! Sorry." She giggled. Quickly closing all her tabs and landing on the google docs page. "Alright, so I figure we'll just copy what I've already written onto the typewriter and then start from there."

"That sounds right. I have to warn you though, it is a little bit of a learning curve- using a typewriter I mean."

She raised her brows. "Oh, yeah, I've heard. I've never written one one before."

"I'll teach you." I smiled earnestly.

"Alright, so- first you have to feed the paper in." I said, pulling a stack from the box. She grabbed one, clearly already eager to do it herself. She fed the paper through, brows furrowed in concentration.

"Perfect. Now you just- pull this lever." I said, flicking the small metal switch. "Then I'll set the margins..." I trailed off, setting them and then pulling the bar down.

She nodded, watching me intently. "Now?"

"Now, just turn this knob to roll the paper into place." I said gently, pointing to a small white knob on the side. She reached forward and twisted it, pulling the paper just a little too far down. I laughed a little.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Here." I put my hand on hers, guiding her to twist it back and put the paper in the right place. 

Then, we just.. wrote. Admittedly, it was very nice to see somebody be equal to me in an academic area such as writing. And she was, incredibly talented. She was very focused, her brows furrowed slightly as she typed with a speed id never seen before, except of course in myself. I admired the creativity in her words, the way she was able to wrap emotions into what she typed. I gave recommendations here and there, but other than that I mostly observed. She looked in her element.

She was so distracted with the writing that her tea sat neglected the whole night, her nails tapping on the keys, the cacophony of soft clicking filling the warm apartment. When she finally finished writing, when the last key was clicked, the last letter typed, she let out a sigh of relief, and I pulled the page out.

"You're a very good writer."

She smiled bashfully. "I'm sure you're better." I frowned a little at her self deprecation.

"I assure you, I'm not. I tend to sound.. clinical in my writing. You don't. Really, it's.. you're very talented."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The night went.. very well. Spencer is charming. Even when he doesn't want to be. 

When I finished writing, and offered Spencer wine, he gladly accepted. I didn't take him for a drinker, but he has good taste so I figured he could enjoy a nice red. We plopped onto the couch, my legs crossed among the fall colored pillows as I sipped from a delicate glass.

When Spencer finally left, it was nearing 11:00. I immediately collapsed in my bed, pulling the duvet up over my shoulders. 

I had an unfortunate realization when I trudged into the living room the following morning.

He left his typewriter.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[a-goumang-ripoff]

The Use of Death in Nine Sols

I know it's been a while but I'M MAKING ANOTHER POST FINALLY!!!! Alright so, I was rambling to a friend and something clicked in my head. If you can't tell by the title, it's about the unique way death seems to be used in Nine Sols.

To summarize it, death is used in unique ways with each sol in a way that gives each one exactly what they deserve, even if what they nearly all get is the same exact thing: death. While I'll do my best to not explain every single case individually and make a super massive post, I will go over as many as I think is needed to make my point. My autistic ass has categorized almost every character into 2 categories I want to cover: the sols who are good, and the sols who are bad. I will also be talking about Kuafu, Goumang, and Jiequan separately as they are very unique cases for mostly obvious reasons.

Getting into the 'bad' sols first, the sols I've categorized in here are Yanlao, Fuxi, Nuwa, and Eigong. The thing that ties this category together is that these sols suffer death as a punishment for their actions. Yanlao I think encapsulates this the best. He would go on to die terrified of death, attempting to cling onto life as hard as he could, but still being punished with death despite it. And I think it's well deserved the way he dies, as in his sol seal memories he is shown to be a hypocrite willing to do anything just for the sake of respect, only liking the old relics he has because they make him respected and they make him money. He was brought onto a project to eliminate the deadliest disease that penglai ever faced, that solarians ever faced, that threatened the survival of the species, not for what he can provide to the efforts in skills, but for the sake of his relics which are actively remarked by multiple characters to be unnecessary or worthless. He spends his time as a sol doing nothing but criticizing others, demanding respect, and being extremely petty. He did nothing, and thus, deserves nothing, not even a death at Yi or his own hands, simply death itself. The fates of the rest can be argued similarly, Fuxi deserves his existence as a monster for him actively taking advantage of literal disasters to make money, and dying only as a monster. Nuwa deserves hers for her similar stuck up personality and asshole behavior. Arguably, Eigong could be said to be rewarded for her death by practically creating her ultimate work that would immortalize her, but the fact that it is immediately obliterated in its entirety with no one left to truly remember her makes me argue that her death was only a punishment in the end.

For the 'good' sols, I've categorized Yi, Lady Ethereal, and Ji together, as they ultimately receive death as a reward, as opposed to a punishment. I think Lady Ethereal encapsulates this the best. One could say that she deserved death for what she did, causing the gruesome deaths of several people, including someone incredibly close to her, and remaining silent about it. However, aside from her having no clue that the soulscapes would have that effect, I believe she atones for her mistake in her own soulscape, suffering her own personal hell in it over the tragedy and her response. She suffers for I don't even know how long torturing herself over it all, even attempting suicide at one point, only to be forced to stay alive in this soulscape. It's only then, after being truly forced to torture herself, that Yi is able to interfere and allow her to finally process and come to terms with it, after making her own punishment she felt she deserved, and thus embrace a death that she earned and be able to truly rest. Yi ends up going through something extremely similar, obviously being the one to suggest harvesting humans for their brains and attempting to originally take the seals to take the cure into his own hands, but the game itself serves as his redemption and in the end, he is rewarded with death and the ability to see his sister again in the afterlife. Ji also is similar, though they don't really make this big awful disaster occur, only lacking courage to truly act despite their immortality, and actively express happiness in their death.

Alright, now to talk about the other three. I have made my point already about how each sol does deserve the fate they are given, being rewarded or punished with death in very unique ways. However, one that sticks out is Kuafu, the one sol who doesn't die within the events of the game. And, as you can probably guess, I think it's because he is the only one who doesn't deserve to die. He doesn't actively express a want to die, yet he definitely lies more in the 'good' side of the sols. Nothing he has done has warranted death as a punishment, the most punishment he needs and gets is being the last survivor, which can be seen as a steep punishment, but I think he's one of the few characters who could really take it in a much softer way, especially with his bonds with Shuanshuan and his changed view on humans.

Now something I've been itching to talk about: Goumang. I've singled her out because holy FUCK her ultimate fate is super fucked up. Way worse than any of the other sols. And as I've seen the community discuss, a lot of people think this was way too excessive, but, as fucked up as it is, I do think she deserves it to a degree as well. And, before I get into this, I do NOT think that this is something that should actually be done to anyone, even fictional characters, but the irony of her fate I think makes it something she does really deserve in a poetic way. While she does have a lot of good intentions and plans set in place to revive Penglai and save solarians, but I find her true awfulness in her ideologies and behavior. Starting with behavior, despite being in a grave situation in which solarian life is threatened, she does not decide to forget her differences with other sols and put her effort into helping the cause, she instead decides to remain petty and a full on asshole to Yi, in a way that surpasses other shitty sols because she is in a position to actually do something and work with other to help save solarians. Her ideology also heavily contrasts her genuinely good desires. To put it bluntly, she is a fascist, I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it again, she believes that every person needs to be micromanaged in the same way she micromanages her farms, that it would create a perfect society if this did happen. It doesn't help that "if everyone gave up a little freedom and submitted to higher authority..." is just straight up fascist rhetoric. She also is the ONLY sol to own human slaves to serve her, ones with collars that actively control their actions. I think all of this combines to really set in that she is the worst of the sols, that while you're meant to question Yi's true motives and intentions, his biases, because of this moment, Goumang still gets what she has coming to her.

As a final little sidenote, Jiequan is interesting not because of his alignment, he's quite clearly on the bad side of the sols, evil as fuck, the way his death is treated is interesting. It feels like a mix of death as a punishment and death as a reward, he does not want his death but in the end he still dies happy and proud, he believes he died a hero, and that is far from a punishment to the character, even though he well deserves to die. Maybe it's a mix of him being a horrible person and yet also surpassing his bullying he suffered as a child, the expectations put on him, etc. I love it as a point to show how unique the game is able to utilize death.

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen! I hope that the fall season is bringing you good times & gorgeous weather. I’m writing because I really need some advice on how to find some balance & get my brain to behave right now. I’m almost thirty and I’ve dated a handful of women who I’ve thoroughly enjoyed, but I recently met a woman who seems to have taken over my brain in a way that has never happened to me before. The feeling of having this intense, thought-consuming crush is brand new for me, and it’s frustratingly distracting! I enjoy her so much, but I find myself practically consumed with it, and unable to focus on almost anything or anyone else. The thoughts of her are nearly constant and I’m worried that it’s going to ruin my connections with other people & the focus on growth within myself. Do you have any advice on how to gently balance the feelings of an intense crush so that it doesn’t…well, crush me? This seems like such a silly, high school question for me to be asking this far into my life but I’ve genuinely never felt this way before and its a lot to handle!

Love and crushes can dominate our thoughts and bodies and I don't think this is a rare experience. I personally believe that chemistry is a real thing and we can't control how intense it is with another person. It just happens and then we have to figure out how to deal with it.

If you haven't spoken to her about it I would suggest that you are honest with her at least in letting her know you have romantic interest in her. Friendships that fall apart over one not returning more intense feelings are probably not that strong to begin with. You don't have to divulge that you are "obsessed" or go to deeply into the intensity of your feelings. Speaking with her and getting an idea of her interest can help to manage your feelings.

If she is not interested that sort of clarity or closure can help you to work through it more quickly and to "reset" your brain and heart to see her as just a friend. IF you spend all of your time wondering how she feels or if she would be upset or happy at your emotions you end up wasting precious energy that can be spent enjoying your time with her, either as a romantic interest or a friend.

Sometimes writing down a list or journaling can help to get some resolution to feelings that feel over whelming. It is one part getting it all out and one part distraction and one part time spent focusing on it so that you can process things. Walking though Reasons why you like her can give you a good feeling and at the same time start to work out reality vs the idea of love. The idea of some one is often way more impressive that the reality.

The easiest answer is time. Finding a new person you click with, even just a friend, can be very exciting and stoke powerful feel good emotions. Time can ease that thrill into just a comfortable companionship.

Also to reassure you. It is normal and common for use to get into a "bubble" with a new friend and forget to put energy into those that already exist. Good and solid friendships can handle those lapses and eventually you get back to normal. No good friend is ever surprised when they see a buddy "fall" for a new person in her life and most can just wait you out or even be an ear for you to bend in order to figure out just HOW much you like this new woman in your life.

I know none of this is a black and white answer, but I hope some of this will let you know you are not the only woman in the world who finds themselves intensely attracted to a new friend nor will you be the last. You are experiencing a very normal path that many lesbians navigate daily.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

HELLO TF2 COMMUNITY :D

Do you like fanmade TF2 AUs? Do you like mysteries? Do you like deep DEEP lore? Are you good at solving riddles?

If your answer is yes to all of those, then yay!! And buckle up.

We're going to play a little game. When you click on the link right above the :readmore: all the way down there, you will find yourself at a blank webpage that looks a bit like this:

This webpage will ask you for a specific password for you to enter. If you get the password correct, you will be granted access to the [TOP SECRET]-CLASSIFIED MANN FILES. If you get the password wrong, you will not be granted access to the files.

The password is a four digit number. I will be giving you a riddle to help you find out what this password could be. You might need to use a bit of google for this one:

A little girl with the last name Won goes to an arcade in Korea.

At the arcade, she wins a pinball game.

That was yesterday.

But the pinball machine was cheap, old and rusty.

So all she got was a single coin from it. It was the lowest currency one could get in Korea.

What did the little girl win yesterday?

I know this looks hard, but I promise, you do not have to be Korean to know the answer to this. All you need to know is that, currency in Korea is won (원). I can't give you more information since it may spoil the game, but if you are not sure about anything, you can easily search it up and it'll pop up first thing

If you really find yourself struggling with the answer, I suggest you try reading the riddle out loud ;)

You will be given 24 hours to find the password and get it correct before I reveal the answer for everyone. The timer starts the moment this post is published onto my blog.

There are only 3 rules you should know:

1. If you find the password before everyone else, please don't make it public!! Don't post about it, or tell everyone else. You can tell your friend if they ask for it, sure, but don't ruin the fun for those who still want to try and solve the password!

2. You can not ask for more clues, sorry, but that tiny riddle was the most thinking my brain could take for the week, and I can't make more mysterious clues and riddle :(

3. If the 24 hour timer goes off and the majority of you still haven't managed to find the password, don’t worry, you can always ask for more time. If I get more than 5 non-anon asks in my inbox asking for more time, I will extend the timer.

Anyways, best of lucks finding the password, and have fun :)

[TOP SECRET] CLASSIFIED MANN FILES- PROJECT DOPPELGANGER

(EDIT: hello all! So it seems that the links on this post are causing some problems for a lot of you guys, and the whole password part seems to work just fine but for some reason if won't show the files properly once you guessed it. So if you managed to get the password right but the webpage you were redirected to only shows you blank pages, please pop me a quick message through either inbox or DM so I can get you set right up with a shared google doc file which actually works. Thank you so much for your patience and so sorry for the inconvenience and this technical error kind of ruining the whole vibe :'(

P.S. if you can, the link works a bunch times better when on PC!)

Now that all that jazz is out of the way, here are all of my rambles!

A brief summary for those who are new:

This post is part of a big lore-drop for an AU of mine called Job Switcheroo Mercs, which is basically an AU where all the TF2 mercs have their jobs and classes switched around. If you want to learn more about the AU, you can go check out my #job switcheroo tag on my blog. You might need it for the context.

For those who already know the basic gist of the AU, but just forgot the what the heck this AU is even about, here's a little reminder.

Of course, big hugs and kisses to all my lovely Job Switcheroo AU fans out there. We were a pretty niche group but you guys gave me so much love and support all throughout it and I appreciate it so so so much. THANK YOU <3

[beanie-beebo]

For Young Hopeless/suicidal folk

Stop scrolling for a second and please just hear me out. I know you're searching for a way out or for help if you've come across this. Something compelled me to share this tidbit.

I'm in my mid twenties and when I tell you I've had a rough life my whole life, it's an understatement. I'll spare the details, but this is just so you know where I come from too. When I say it took literal miracles for me to be alive and kicking, i mean it.

As I grew closer to my twenties, as I went through learning therapy, failed jobs, the usual. It seemed to get easier, but something just wasn't *clicking*. I was still missing something, something that would be the final piece for my healing journey.

One day, out of literal nowhere, it clicked. *Everything* I've ever went through and suffered through began to literally come together like a puzzle.

I account it to natural aging and learning more about myself. But it was the largest moment of clarity I ever had. All thanks to a couple tiktoks suggesting autism and what that looked like in various different people.

My whole life was so hard *because the last piece was my autism*. I wasn't being treated for that alongside everything else, so naturally I wasn't getting the proper skills to function where the therapists kept running into dead ends.

But it didn't stop there. It was like something turned on. I was thinking of ways to help myself, to advocate and get the support I needed, a possible way *out* of all of this.

What I'm trying to get at is: yes everyone's story and journey look different, but sometimes all it takes is one or two things for everything to finally make sense.

Dont get it wrong, I'm still learning and going through a LOT. But I don't want to die anymore. I want to find a way out, because there is hope. I just needed to change my perspective. And maybe you do too.

There are studies that show our brains make the final huge transition to maturing between 23-25. And that ND individuals it usually can be 25-early 30s.

That moment that clicked, I truly think that's what part of that was for me. My brain finally transitioned into adulthood. I could think clearer and things just all started to *make sense*. That I didn't have to stay where I was, I didn't have to suffer. Regardless of the state of the world, I can make anything happen. Even if I'm disabled, I have tools to advocate, get help at my fingertips, take logical (that may seem unlogical to some) unwalked paths to more comfortable, stable roads. *I didn't have to end it to have the emotions and life I wanted*

If you feel therapy isn't working for you, it isn't you. Maybe it's the wrong type of therapy, maybe your brain needs time to process and mature to have things sink in, maybe you need a medication add on or change. Maybe you have underlying neurological issues that are hindering therapy *further* for you.

Dont give up. I know it seems easier that way. Until you have the energy to fight again, find something to hang onto. Your favorite characters, TV shows, your pets, friends/family, hobbies, anything literally at all.

If you're still here, you're stronger than you realize. To live through issues and still continue, even if you feel like you can't or don't want to? You're a god/goddess, a survivor, a WARRIOR.

This world needs you, and you will love what you find in small nooks, waiting for you.

You are enough, you are loved, you can DO this. I'm proud of you.

Yes even if we haven't met, yes even if we aren't on good terms for whatever reason. If this post found you, it was for a reason.

Keep going beautiful/handsome ♥ /platonic

[koreposion]

Blue gets frustrated with Cross for reasons unknown to himself and Cross helps him sort it out. Which means Cross mostly makes fun of him for being dense.

Hands slammed onto Cross' desk and he didn't even bother to look up from his work. It was already clear to him who was in his offices. Even though he was uninvited,

"You should tell me when you're going to study with Geno!" Blue spoke, upset at himself from finally caving into his own pit of emotions, "I should be there when you're both together."

A sigh left Cross as he continued to work, "Why? For his safety?" He murmured softly as he rubbed one of his temples.

"Because I want to be with him." Blue said while standing up straight, crossing his arms. The way Cross was so unbothered by this was...irritating, "You already have your team why do you need to hang out with him alone."

At that Cross blinked and looked up in bewilderment, "You're upset because Geno is spending time with me and that I already have a support system?" He clicked his teeth and set down his pen.

He stood up and walked from behind his desk to stand in front of Blue, "That is utterly selfish and so unlike you." He squinted as he read Blue's expression.

Due to Cross' heels he was always taller than Blue, looking up at him was a little demeaning, "What if it is? That shouldn't really matter to you, I mean Dream already likes you." He backed away from Cross.

Cross took a step closer to him, leaning down, "Yes but you should be happy that Geno is making friends...but you haven't even mentioned the others. Just me."

Blue started taking steps back from Cross as he kept talking. Every time he took a step back a step forward from Cross met it, "That's because out of the rest of them you-"

He paused looking for the right words, not even noticing that he had been backed against the wall, "You're just.... persuasive."

Amused Cross placed his hands onto the wall and got in Blue's face. With a fanged grin he pressed the skeleton, "Persuasive?"

"Charming?" Blue said bashfully and looked away from Cross' purple eyelights.

"Charming?" Cross echoed Blue's words, "I need a proper explanation of what you're trying to tell me. Do you think I'm attractive, and so you're worried that Geno might fall for my charms?"

"I don't know!" Blue squirmed in place, his emotions being a muddled mess this close to Cross, "Maybe? Yeah wait-"

He should be mad at Cross in this moment. Geno wasn't to blame for anything he just wanted to make friends. And Blue just wanted to be around when Geno was with Cross. Because Cross is an ideal teammate and companion. Who wouldn't be jealous of someone so put together?

"Wait? Blue, I think your stupid is melting your cotton candy brain." Cross said while belittling him, he pressed a finger to Blue's forehead, "Maybe you're just smitten with the both of us, but I just have a better track record when it comes to relationships."

That comment about Blue's character stung and he was shocked into a momentary silence. He paused to consider his words and thoughts on this. To be fair to himself he doesn't even know what being smitten with someone is like. The way he feels about Dream is beyond that and slightly different...

"Don't think too hard your gears might turning." Cross said as he placed his hands onto Blue's shoulders with a smile, "Look, everyone has a dating guide in their AU, right? Just look for one in our library and one might have the explanation for this."

"You're so mean! I can't believe you suggested me liking you!" Blue held up his hands and rolled his eyes, getting sound advice in this moment made him feel stupid. Why didn't he just look at a dating guide, duh, "You're too....I don't even have words to describe it!"

"Dominant may be the word." Cross cooed softly as he brought his mouth closer to Blue's neck.

As Blue opened his mouth to speak he found himself frozen in place. A sharp pain shooting through his neck as his magic hesitated. His eyelights flicked and his body grew hot as something flowed through his magic. At the same time something was being drained from him but he couldn't tell what.

He dropped to the floor in seconds and heard laughter even though it was muffled. A heel was firmly placed in his back and kept him on the floor. The thought of struggling didn't even come up as he was pinned there. A wave of embarrassment hit him as he realized he let his guard down.

"That's cute, you come to me to cement your relationship between you and Geno. But you then let me know I'm an option that you would understand." Cross pinched the bridge of his nose, "Do you understand that means you think I'm partner material? It's very plain to see and anyone could have told you that."

Blue didn't speak, he had no right to and wasn't given the option. The way things were going he wasn't going to get another word in. He was so foolish and blinded by his boldness. Why did he think this would have went well?

"It's adorable how pathetic you are! Ugh, it almost gives me a headache thinking about it." Cross dug his heel into Blue's back, "You won't feel normal for a while, you probably won't even notice it. That's not really my problem, but if you wanted to spend more time with me you could have just asked."

"Now we get to have all the time in the world together. I'll give you back to Dream at some point." Cross said with a smile, looking down at his captured prey.

"I have so much to train you in!"

[snow-143]

The Truth Untold- Kim Taehyung |

Eleven- take care of you (1.4k) |

The next couple of days are awkward to say the least. After the whole waking up in his bed situation I reverted to avoiding him at all costs.

Waking up in his bed wasn't necessarily the problem, after all I grew up sleeping in his bed. The problem is how right it felt, like slipping back into old habits that's never really left you. But more than that was how much I enjoyed being surrounded by him.

I didn't leave his room straight away after we woke up, instead i stayed curled up in his sheets, wishing he was still holding me, with the excuse that Eun hadn't left for classes yet.

I stayed there in his warmth and presence, simply absorbing it all. But soon Eun's presence started leaking through, in the way that her voice echoes through the apartment while she sings along to her music, the way her light footsteps taper around the house and suddenly I was surrounded by her instead.

That's when reality set in. solidifying its place with the slam of our front door as she leaves.

Tae seemed hesitant when I got up to leave, it almost makes me think he was also sad for this moment to end, but he doesn't stop me.

So now we're back to square one. The only difference is my longing to see him now and that's why I need to distance myself. Just until this passes, up until him and Eun are a thing and I can forget all of these foolish thoughts.

I have successfully avoided anything to do with Kim Taehyung for a solid 3 days now, I would congratulate myself if I wasn't constantly conjuring up thoughts of him.

If I'm being honest, the past 3 days have been hell. Before when I ignored him he let me, it was simple, we both stayed in our own space. But not this time. Nope he just has to make it difficult.

Especially difficult when he wakes up earlier than he usually would, trying to catch me sneaking out on the mornings.

But I survived 3 days, and now I'm being rewarded. With alcohol.

God do I need to get drunk right now.

It was Jin's idea, he suggested me, him, Yoongi, Namjoon, Hobi + his wife and one of his new employees go drinking tonight. I couldn't have agreed quicker. Plus I want to meet this girl he's been talking so much about.

'You heading out?' Instantly freezing in my spot I curse myself for wearing heels that click with every step, knowing he probably heard me walking.

Slowly turning around I scramble my brain on what to say, 'Um yeah I'm going out drinking with my friends.' Casual enough.

'Ah okay. Have fun.' He seems just as awkward as me despite his efforts to talk to me the past couple of days. Seeing him now makes me feel kind of bad, but I brush that off. Everything will be alright when I have some alcohol in my system.

'Thank you.' It's said through a tight smile. Before I quickly scurry my way out of the apartment.

—————

'I love you guys. You know that right.' My friends are currently surrounding me and I could think of no better place to be. Well maybe I could think of one.

'We know.' There're multiple voices at once making me feel dizzy. I can faintly feel someone's arm around my waist holding me up.

'Y/n you've gotta drink some water, and we need to get you home safe, okay?' I can't tell who's talking but either way I'm not very fond of them at the moment.

'What nooooo I'm having so much fun!!!'

'I know you are love but think about how nice it'd feel to be curled up in bed right now. We can even go to mine if you don't want to go home.' Their voice is gentle, much like their arm around me. Finally, looking at them, it takes my eyes a minute to focus on their feature but once I do I recognise him to be Yoongi.

'I wanna stay with our friends though. haven't seen them in so long.' I'm pouting at this point, but I can't find it in me to be embarrassed.

'We'll see them again. Sounds good yeah? But for tonight it's time to sleep.'

'Can I say goodbye first?' My mood has suffered a drastic shift in the last couple of moments.

He nods in reply and I peel myself away from him to give my friends hugs goodbye.

After I've made it round the whole group I begin to hear some sort of bickering.

'So you thought it was a good idea to call him?' Looking over at the noise I see Yoongi, Namjoon and...

'Tae?' Now all of their attention is on me.

'Y/nie.'

'What are you doing here?' I slur, being genuinely confused. 'Did you come to join us?'

'Not quite, no.'

'Oh.' I deflate, hoping that we could all continue drinking.

'He's here to take you home y/n.' Namjoon gives me a soft smile.

'Oh. But I thought I was going home with Yoongi?' Tilting my head I give the boys a questioning gaze.

Taehyung starts to walk towards me, 'Not any more, I'm gonna to take care of you from now on, okay?'

My face lights up at this, 'Okay!' It comes out with a giggle. My carefree happiness seem to be matched with his.

He's smiling down at me and I swear everything feels right in this moment.

Why have I been avoiding him again? I swear I'll never avoid him again because this feeling is something I never want to let go of.

But then again, it might just be that alcohol that's making me feel this way. I decide not to dwell on that thought though, I just want to enjoy this while it lasts.

'Let's get going then.' He's still smiling at me. His boxy smile that does things to my heart. The disappointment of leaving that I felt before is long gone as he grabs my hand to lead me to his car.

I almost forget to say a last goodbye to the others as I stare at our hands connected.

Giving them a quick wave my eyes settle on Yoongi first, he doesn’t seem happy at all. It confuses me, but I’m too carefree to linger on that fact and I soon forget when my eyes land on Mina, Jin's plus one for the night, I giggle as she gives me a wink. She's awfully kind and the memory of how Jin Hyung was doting over her has me yet again giggling. He looked so smitten with her.

Winking back I whisper at her, 'Make sure he works for it.' Although by the way I hear Jin choke and curse at what I mean I don't think I quite executed the discretion I was hoping for.

By this point I'm not really paying attention, too rapped up on how Tae helps me into the passenger seat and straps me in. Far too focused on the way he strokes my hair behind my ear and asks how I'm feeling from his squatting position. Replaying the words that came out in a stolen whisper.

When I finally reply with a soft nod his hand retreats from my face, and he circles the car. I'm disappointed for a moment, until he enters the car and suddenly everything's alright again.

Wanting the contact back I grab his hand and draw it over onto my lap. He seems startled by this, his wide eyes gazing at me, but I just smile back. He eventually returns my gesture and sets his eyes onto the road ahead.

The car ride seems to last an eternity yet not nearly long enough. His thumb is moving in slow circles over my hand and I swear this is the most content I've ever felt.

He's humming along to the distant sound of the quiet music that is coming from the radio. It's a slow and romantic song.

Finding it hard to remove my gaze from his side profile, I eventually decide to gaze out of the window instead. The view is beautiful. Putting the window down I relish in the feeling if the delicate wind blowing through my hair.

This. This is a better place to be I think.

The moment is so perfect, and I find myself being disappointed when I start to recognise the street we're going down. Knowing this moment inevitably has to end. That this feeling has to end.

prev | m.list | next

////////////

a/n: fluff fluff and more fluff… hope yous enjoy it before it all falls apart 😁

[doyelikehaggis]

Ooh! 8 for Bobby/Freddie, please? #FakeDatingToLovers

There has been one constant question on Bobby's mind from the moment Freddie came hurtling into his life and drove away with him. How does he keep letting him get him into these situations?

In his defence, the mystery ride that they first went on was not his fault; that was more of a kidnapping, really. However, he can't make excuses for himself now. He enjoys it. It's as simple as that. He likes Freddie's company, he likes seeing him light up when he agrees to something stupid or completely fated to end badly, somehow.

He likes him.

Which is exactly why this is a terrible idea.

'Come on, Bob,' Freddie practically begs, which already is a bad start for Bobby's self-control. 'It'll be fun! It's a free night-out plus a free meal, free drink and one free refill. And you don't even need to do anything except just pretend to be my date.'

Oh, that's all. Just pretend to be going out with the person he actually has feelings for but can't tell him because he also so happens to be his only real friend and he doesn't think he could handle losing him if it ended badly.

It's simple, really.

Bobby sighs and forces himself to look at the wall instead of directly into his gaze. 'I don't know. What if we get caught out? We'll probably be kicked out.'

Freddie shrugs. 'Then, at least we tried. Besides' --he reaches across to lightly swat his arm but all he really does is end up wrapping his hand lightly around it-- 'I reckon we'll make a pretty convincing couple. There's no way we'll get caught out.'

'Unless anyone we actually know is there, which they probably will be considering it's Valentine's Day and Sam's offering free everything to couples, apparently.'

Freddie pokes his tongue into his cheek, looking thoughtful, before saying, 'Still, I reckon we can pull it off, Bob. How would anyone know we're faking?'

He supposes that it would be hard to tell it's an act when it really wouldn't be. Not on his part, at least. As long as he doesn't get too overwhelmed by the lies...

'Okay, it's possible that we could get away with it.'

His agreement excites an already enthusiastic Freddie. He clamps his arm a little tighter and rocks it lightly, saying, 'Yes, Bob! We can totally pull this off. But just in case you're right and Sam's suspicious, we should work out a few details. For instance, she may not believe us if we're not, y'know, acting like boyfriends.'

Here it is. The big problem. As soon as the idea left Freddie's brain and entered the atmosphere, Bobby was struck with one big thing that he's not sure he can deal with.

'You mean...' He swallows, but the lump of words he doesn't want to say remain lodged in his throat. 'You know, I'm not that comfortable with PDA, so--'

'That's cool,' Freddie says easily, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he shrugs it off. 'Would it be okay to, like, put an arm around you or hold your hand?'

Bobby presses a hand into the edge of the counter. A small smile flits across his face as he points out, 'You already do that anyway.'

'Exactly!' Freddie says happily, spreading his hands. 'So, we'll be fine.'

Bobby can't help but wonder if that means something that he already does the things he counts as "acting like a couple." His heart skips a beat and nearly stumbles, but he picks it back up and sets it right.

It doesn't necessarily mean that Freddie thinks of them as anything more than mates. Otherwise, why would he be suggesting they "pretend"?

No. They're friends. Just friends... pretending to be dating. That always ends well. It occurs to him that he still never actually agreed to this. It also occurs to him that he's not going to back out, no matter how anxiety-inducing the thought of the whole thing is to him.

Because Freddie is looking at him like that. Smiling at him. He clicks his fingers, pointing at him as he straightens and hurries backwards to the door.

'I gotta go and cover Stacey's van,' he says, 'but I'll come meet you here later, yeah? Peggy's opens at seven.'

'Right,' Bobb says, nodding.

Freddie grins. He winks. 'See you later. Sweetheart.'

He leaves Bobby there in the chippy like he didn't just render him unable to think with the head on his shoulders. The door swings shut behind him. Bobby grips the counter and takes a take, slow breath, and closes his eyes.

Count to ten. Stop thinking of Freddie's grin, and his mouth, and that wink, and the undertone to his voice as he left. Especially don't think about the lengths he will go to tonight to prove that they're a couple.

He's doomed. He is truly, utterly and unbelievably screwed in the way that he least wants to be. That doesn't mean that a tiny part of him isn't quietly ecstatic.

[vvatchword]

Gaijin

my friend in japan was like, "Go work in Okinawa!!" She's always trying to get me to work in Japan. I'd love to be near her, she's as good as a sister to me... it's just that I'm not sure how good that is long-term. Being a gaijin ex-pat in Japan is a young person's game. There's not a future there for someone like me, not really.

I'm riiiight on the border of being able to use Japanese conversationally, but on the whole, I need to put in a lot of work. Plus, I don't think I can stand being on the outside anymore. Imagine having to emergency-learn a language and deal with culture shock while needing to find human connection in a whole new country. I love Japan, I want to go back, I think their society has many wonderful qualities, and I might find a place there, but I'd still always be on the outside looking in. When the chips are down, I'd always be a gaijin.

Not to mention there's a certain quality to Japanese culture that's a little maddening--that is, there are certain social expectations, and everyone tries to adhere to that as well as possible. Everything tends to be done en masse or for the benefit of the group. If you fuck up, you are corrected passive-aggressively (read: very, very vaguely). Obviously, allowances are made for gaijin, but you do better if you can try and flow with the group.

And that... that is my greatest weakness........ not knowing what other people want... not reading the room... not understanding people who attempt making requests in vague suggestions... needing explicit instructions... jesus fucking cristo

That's one of the worst parts of this entire escapade--being the one person who's uncomfortably weird and not being able to fix that. I clicked with some people in my last job--other autistic motherfuckers--but I know I made my boss uncomfortable. She did her best, I don't rue her anything, but we just didn't click, and it was not her fault. On the whole I was more trouble than I was worth. And that makes me feel sick. It makes me feel sick that people are relieved I'm gone. It makes me feel sick that I'm not normal and can never be. What makes this insufferable is that it's not something I can change. It's not something I can fix. It's just the way I am.

I can count the jobs where my weirdness didn't backstab me on one hand. And I just don't think I can take that anymore. It's like my heart's been broken, but it's been broken by society. I want people to like me because, hey, I'll be frank--I like other people! I like all kinds of people! Unfortunately, other people don't like me.

I wish I didn't have to be gainfully employed anymore. Not because I'm not interested in it, but because wherever I go, I can't stop rubbing people the wrong way. And even if I don't rub people the wrong way, they are just so FUCKING SHITTY. They smell my differences like a shark smells blood. They can't just let me be. They play social games with me, they pick me as the scapegoat, they can't accept that I mean well, and my best efforts are never enough. If they're neurotypicals or old, aka the most common demographics on planet Earth, they will find ways to punish and mock me.

I wish I could apply for disability but there's no way in hell that would work, and plus, I couldn't live on that. Jesus. Working is hell because of other people. Working is hell because I get bored after I've figured out the basics and my brain ramps off to space. Working is hell because I am a fucking weirdo and other people hold a mirror up to show how they see me because they want me to stop freaking them out. I'll be frank, I don't like what I see. So I try to change, make myself palatable. All I do is make myself unbearably tired, because the minute I look up to check my reflection, I see it's just another flavor of bizarre. For every one thing I get right, I get five things wrong. Even at my best, there's always something subtly off, and the more someone examines me, the more I stand out.

I swear to you. This is not me being dramatic. Everyone is treating these statements as me being upset about being fired, but this is a long-term wound that keeps tearing open over and over and over.

You know what makes this really sad? I really love my own weirdness. When I'm in my own world, I can be deliriously happy. I can entertain myself for hours. It's when I have to deal with other people that life becomes untenable. They can't see what I am inside and why should I expect them to? We are known by what we produce in the living world. I unnerve others because I get too excited or I use the wrong words or I dress incorrectly or I stare without blinking for too long or I modulate my voice incorrectly. I am fighting tooth and nail to make everyone around me comfortable and no one can see or appreciate the effort. They only notice that I'm unpleasant.

When the chips are down, I'm always the odd one out. And there's a point where I wonder what the point is of even trying. There's an answer, of course--the consequences for NOT trying are a kind of horrible that include complete ostracization and social combat on the level of World War III.

Why'd I have to be this kind of person? Why can't I be a better actress? How much better my life would be if I could be conventional in any way.

If you've read my fiction, what you've seen is me studying other people, fighting like mad to figure out how to be like them and failing so dramatically that I get launched out of society every two or three years. I always have to come crawling back. There's no other choice. There's no choice at all.

[miserys-inkwell]

KILLING THE DANCEFLOOR

An original Magnus Archives statement

Masterlist

Tw: gore in this one lads, and brief implications of vomiting

[Tape recorder click]

JON: Statement of Joseph Markus, regarding his experience at a club he visited in Scotland. Original statement given May 12th, 2016, audio recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

JON [STATEMENT] :

This happened on a trip to Scotland four years ago, me and a group of friends were staying there for three days. We'd been out drinking for a good few hours, so we were all tipsy veering into outright drunk. The others started suggesting that we should go back to the hotel, they told me that I should be done for the night. Every time I think about what happened, I regret not listening to them.

I'd been at the club for around 20 minutes, I think it was called “Veil's” or something like that. I was already a few drinks in, when I noticed… her. The first word that came into my head when I looked at her was “sharp”. I'm not sure why, it just seems like the best word to describe her. She was tall, and I mean tall. She easily had a few inches on anyone else in the club, looked like she was in her mid twenties, and had wild red hair with streaks of blonde and bright cherry red. Her eyes were also a vibrant red, but I just figured that she was wearing colored contacts, it wouldn't have been out of place with her outfit. I feel the need to give a description of her, so at least someone else knows what to look out for. She was wearing a spiked choker, ripped black jeans, and a tattered band shirt. I can't remember the exact name of the band. I think it was something like, Gravity's Bond? I don't think that's right but such a small detail wasn't really something I was too focused on. I was more preoccupied with the fact she was carrying a giant blood soaked axe. And no one seemed to acknowledge it, they were acting like this massive woman with a giant blood soaked axe wasn't anything out of the ordinary, so I naively assumed that it was a prop. God, what I would give for it to have just been a prop.

I'd been focused somewhere else, but my attention snapped back to the dance floor when a deafening crack echoed through the club. It was so loud, that for a moment I thought it was a gunshot. My eyes landed on her just in time to watch her drop a limp body with its neck bent at an unnatural angle. Before I had time to even process what I was seeing, she whipped around and swung the axe down. I will never forget the sound the axe made when it buried itself into that man's skull. The horrible wet crunch of metal splitting bone and embedding itself in brain matter, it seemed to drown out all the other noise in the club. I don't know if you've ever heard the noise that a raw egg makes if you crush it. I'm sure you can imagine why I'm mentioning such a thing. She planted a booted foot against the man's chest and pushed the corpse away so she could tear the axe out. I honestly think that noise might have somehow been worse than the initial blow. Then, before the body had even finished its landing, lunged at the next unfortunate person and mercilessly slashed open their throat. I could practically hear the blade smoothly slicing through the flesh, but what I definitely could hear was her last feeble gurgling breaths as she choked on her own blood. She kept going. I don't know how many more people she got, because my eyes darted around the room looking to see if anyone had already called the police.

I felt my stomach drop when I realized that no one else seemed to see her, or at the very least see the gruesome results of her actions. I don't know how that could have been possible, she was in the middle of the room surrounded by people and she wasn't exactly being quiet. My mind was racing trying to figure out what I should do, should I call the police? What if they didn't see her as out of the ordinary and just assume that I'm a crazed drunk? While I was caught up in my inner dilemma the woman ambled off of the dance floor towards the bar, sweaty and laughing like she had just been partying like any normal club goer, like she wasn't covered in the blood of the people she had just slaughtered. And I will admit, while I wasn't drunk enough to not remember the night, I was definitely far enough gone to make a stupid decision. A very, very, stupid decision. I made the idiotic and borderline suicidal choice to confront the woman.

She had casually dropped herself down in the chair at the end of the bar, the one near the wall, and slung one of her legs up on the empty seat next to her. As well as setting her axe, still dripping with gore, on the bartop. While she was settling herself in her seat, the bartender placed an already prepared drink in front of her, which she cheerfully thanked them for. Thinking back to it, I'm scared of the implications that has, because it means that this woman is a regular there, meaning that the casual axe murdering is a regular occurrence. As I got closer, I picked up on more and more details about her appearance that left me with a sinking feeling in my gut. Her skin was oddly pale, even by redhead standards, as if she only went out at night to go partying, and the shape of her teeth seemed just a bit off. Then she turned and looked at me, and even in my drunken state, I had enough clarity to recognize the way her pupils shifted under the continually changing lights of the club, sober enough to realize she wasn't wearing contacts; that her eyes were red.

We stared at each other without saying anything for a few moments, then she suddenly threw her head back and barked out a loud laugh. Which I will admit made me jump a bit. Then she leveled those horrible red eyes at me, she had a glint in her gaze that unsettlingly reminded me of a kid with a magnifying glass that had just come across an anthill. Then, still chuckling a bit, she spoke in a slightly raspy Scottish accent. “Oh, this is real exciting, you can actually see what's going on here. That's a bit rare but it's always entertaining, makes it more fun.” Then, while looking me in the eye, she wiped a still wet splatter of blood from her cheek with her thumb before licking it off.

She continued “I'll tell you what, it's always a treat when someone can see through me, and I'm feeling nice tonight, so I'll give you a 30 second head start.” Then she began to count, I wasted at least five precious seconds of my grace period standing there like a deer in headlights. When I snapped out of it, I took off towards the door, weaving through the other club goers as fast as I could internally kicking myself as the adrenaline partially cleared my head from the haze of the alcohol. I burst outside onto the street, and I swear that the club wasn't in the same place as it was when I went in, none of the landmarks I was seeing looked familiar. But I didn't have time to think about that, the only thing running through my head was “get away” over and over again as I forced my burning legs to carry me down the street. I ran for a block or two before I decided to slow down a bit to catch my breath, and to… let my body get rid of some of the alcohol. Even as I heaved for air after being forced to empty my stomach, I was still listening for any sign that she had followed me. Then I heard the whistling. It was a cheerful little tune that definitely did not match the scenario, and I realized with growing dread that it was getting closer. I forced myself to continue forward, making twists and turns in an attempt to lose her, but all I really accomplished was getting myself lost. The whistling continued to get closer and closer, and now I could hear her unhurried footsteps behind me. I don't know how she could possibly be keeping up with me at such a casual pace while I was quite literally running for my life. As I was about to round another corner, a sudden weight slammed into me sending me crashing into the pavement. I've never been hit by a car before, but this is what I imagine it felt like. While I was blinking the flashing lights out of my vision, she took the opportunity to pin me down with one knee forcing itself into the center of my chest, and pinning my right hand next to my head with her other foot. When my vision cleared I was met by a sight that has haunted me since that night. She was staring down at me, with a wild grin and a borderline feral glint in her bloody red eyes, with bits of viscera splattered across her face and body, raising her axe above her head, preparing to bury it into my face. I thought to myself, “This is the last thing I'm going to see.” And I clenched my eyes shut hoping that it would be like getting a shot, if I can't see it coming it won't hurt as much, right? It's stupid, but it was oddly comforting in the moment.

As she was about to bring the axe down, and I was waiting for my inevitable demise, she was interrupted by her phone ringing. I was scared that she was going to get a call from someone saying that they needed parts of me in one piece to harvest my organs or something, but that theory went out the window when I realized that she had set the ringtone for whoever it was to Rick James’ “Super Freak”. It was so jarring that I probably would have laughed if her knee wasn't grinding into my sternum and crushing the air out of me. She sighed, flipped the axe slamming the head of it down right next to my ear before pulling out her phone and answering it. Only got her side of whatever conversation was being had, something along the lines of “What do you want? I'm busy right now.” A pause “Can't you ask someone else to help you with it, I'm kind of in the middle of something.” Another pause followed by a heavy sigh, “Fine, I'll be over there in like 10 minutes but you owe me big for this one.” She ended the call, slipped her phone back into her pocket, turned her attention back to me and said. “Looks like it's your lucky day, we'll have to reschedule this for another time. Don't be too sad about our little game being put on hold, we'll meet again eventually.” Then she was up, twirling her axe and slinging it over her shoulder, and whistling that same damn tune as she jauntily made her way down the street, disappearing around the corner, and the whistling faded into the distance. I stayed on the ground for a long time, just trying to catch my breath and figure out what the hell just happened.

I managed to limp my way back to the hotel, I'm still not sure how I managed to find my way back. I quietly slipped back into the room to not wake up the others. I didn't sleep that night for obvious reasons, so I used the time I spent lying awake debating what I should do. In the end I decided to pretend that it never happened, I didn't want to get my friends involved with that woman lest they become her next targets. And I felt like I couldn't call the police, for all I know it's some weird underground murder club and everyone else there was in on it and they're paying off the police or something. So I've been pretending it never happened, pretending that I'm not kept awake at night by the sound of a neck snapping, a skull being smashed open, the sound of someone drowning in their own blood, and the image of her, staring down at me as I was seconds away from being murdered.

So I'm sure you're probably wondering why I'm giving this statement now after so many years. I'm sharing this story so that someone knows what happened to me when I go missing or turn up dead. Last night, I was walking home through the downtown area of London, and I felt my heart stutter to a stop when I heard someone whistling that damn tune. One that I had hoped to never hear again. There she was. She was right. There. Walking down the other side of the street, thankfully without the axe, next to someone who was somehow even taller than her. I can't really remember what the other person looked like, only that they had long dark hair. Anytime I try to think about other discerning features I get a terrible headache, but I can't shake the feeling that I've seen him somewhere before. As if she could feel me staring, she suddenly turned and looked directly at me. I was met by the same unnatural piercing red eyes that I'd seen four years ago. I could tell that she recognized me as well, because her expression quickly shifted through irritation, surprise, before finally landing on that sharp devilish grin. I stood there frozen, unable to make myself run or even look away, the sound of the street around me was drowned out by the blood rushing in my ears. Then she lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers at me in a mocking little wave, like she knew that I couldn't move. And, as the final nail in the proverbial coffin, she mouthed three words to me; “I told you.”

I don't remember how or when I got home that night. But I do know that she's going to kill me. There's no doubt in my mind about that. It's only a matter of when, who knows how long it'll be before she decides she's had her fill of tormenting me.

JON: Statement ends.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the band shirt this mysterious Axe Woman was wearing was merchandise for the infamous Grifter's Bone that has been mentioned in a previous statement. Attempts at looking into a club by the name of “Veil's” have turned up nothing except a few offhand internet posts, but no records of an establishment by that name ever existing. Attempts at contacting Mr Markus for a follow up have turned up that he is, as one might anticipate, deceased. Three weeks after this statement was given, he was found murdered at a street corner with the official cause of death being a hit and run, resulting from the illegal removal of a stop sign by a vandal. Although the stop sign seemed to be less stolen by hooligan teenagers, and more like a bodybuilder suffering from severe steroid related mood swings, as in the photographs I have here it looks as if it was forcibly ripped straight from the ground. Then there's the fact that the injuries on the autopsy report that Tim managed to get his hands on, as expected, do not line up with the official explanation. Fractured skull resulting from a blow to the head with a semi sharp object and his landing on the concrete, a multitude of rough gashes across various parts of his body similar to injuries caused by an extremely blunt axe, with one of his legs being amputated below the knee and found several yards away. And lastly, but certainly the most disturbing, the fact the upper and lower halves of his body were completely bisected from each other, seemingly done using the same weapon as the other injuries, with his upper half having been thrown to the other side of the street with enough force that it hit the wall of the building there. All of this paints a rather nauseating picture of what actually happened. [Shaky sigh]

End recording.

[Tape recorder click]

____________________________________

[Tape recorder click]

JON: Supplemental, I'm in the tunnels again searching for potential clues regarding who has been sneaking into the archives–

???: [a young woman's voice with a quiet deadpan but melodious tone] What are you doing?

JON: [screaming as you can audibly hear his soul exiting his body]

???: Well that's rude.

JON: [wheezing] Who are you?????

???: Well, who are you?

JON: I asked you first!

???: Well, I asked you second and two is a larger number than one so you have to answer first.

JON: [sputtering] I– you– wh– I'm Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute.

???: Hmm, I wouldn't suppose you've been leaving trash lying around down here? Because I don't particularly appreciate someone dirtying such a nice dilapidated tunnel system with litter.

JON: I– no, I am not the one who has been leaving trash down here, I'm actually trying to figure out who has been.

???: Hmm, while it seems our motives are different, our goal of finding the one who's been leaving garbage in my tunnels is the same.

JON: I'm sorry but, your tunnels?

???: Yes, my tunnels. I've been wandering this system in my spare time for years, and this invader is sullying them with litter.

JON: Uhm, not to be rude or anything but, er, aren't you a bit young to be wandering abandoned underground tunnels by yourself? You don't look like you could be out of secondary school.

???: Aren't you a bit too old to be in the habit of trying to cover the fact you haven't had a shower in the last nine days by using too much deodorant?

JON: [indignant sputtering]

???: Regardless of our goals being aligned, I think I'd prefer to stay out of the institute’s business for a multitude of reasons. Also I can tell you wouldn't be much help in figuring out how to remove this pest. Along with the… woman who's been sneaking down here from the archives.

JON: You mean Sasha?

???: No, Not Sasha.

JON: How would anyone other than her be getting down here from the archives? She's the only woman who has access to these tunnels from the archives.

???: Yes, that woman.

JON: But you just said that it wasn't Sasha?

???: No, I said that it was Not Sasha.

JON: You're not making any sense.

???: Hmm, most things tend to not.

JON: You know that this is really not helping either of us get closer to either of our goals, neither of us have gained any information from being down here.

???: Perhaps you'd be able to gather more information down here if you didn't scream like a little bitch every time something potentially relevant happens.

JON: [shocked stuttering] You– well– I– Wait where did you go!

???: [faint singing echoing down the tunnels fading into the distance] ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

JON: Well, that was… thoroughly uninformative, [muttered] it was like trying to talk to Cirrus. [Return to normal volume] That girl seemed to only speak in insults and riddles. She also seemed to be– wait– SHE NEVER TOLD ME HER NAME.

[Tape recorder click]

___________________________________________

If you're wondering who the hell Cirrus is, he's another one of my oc's that hasn't been introduced yet (at the time of posting). I'm writing these very out of order but I should hopefully have him properly introduced soon. Thank you for reading!

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hello!

Quick question: how did you KNOW you were ace?? What made you realize that the term fit you? (I totally understand if you don’t respond to this since people all have different experiences)

I feel like I’m in the spectrum somewhere but idk if I’m “too young” to know myself well for that and maybe I just dont have enough experience with people outside of my friend circle (which i know is bs that is thrown at a lot of queer ppl but I honestly do feel that way for myself)

Thanks!!! Have an awesome day!!!

I had a feeling/slow realisation as a teenager that I was different and things weren't clicking for me in the same way as they did for other people. I assumed I was bi and so put it out of my mind as that was why I wasn't jazzing with the heteronormativity of my school (still identify as biromantic currently, but didn't know ace was an option).

As time passed, I came across asexuality and it felt...right, even when at times I didn't want it to be. I wasn't everything on all the 'you may be asexual' lists, because ultimately people are varied and individual preferences will thus always be complicated and one ace person does not equal having exactly the same interests as another ace person, but it resonated enough that I was like...oh. Huh.

When I found myself thinking things like 'hmm, well, maybe I could sleep with them if I had to for the sake of the planet’, or ‘maybe if I had a lot of cocktails first,’ or 'just get the whole virginity thing over with' like a chore' or other caveats I was like...um, hey brain. Maybe you just don’t want to. Maybe you're experiencing a lack of attraction to any of the available options, that thing you read about. So you may be asexual. But it took me several years to go from that to accepting I was ace due to a number of reasons.

For what it's worth on 'too young', a label is there to help you navigate and interface with the world. You're allowed to say you're ace because it feels like the most helpful definition to you now to articulate your feelings, and that doesn't mean you can't change your mind later and for both labels you have used to still be completely valid.

Ultimately, our words for our sexualities are tools to communicate with ourselves and other people. If it helps you do that, then it's right for you at any given time.

This is not to suggest you're not ace or even that you are, but to say that if you're worried you're not 100% certain or that something might happen that makes you change your mind...you can still say you are asexual. Also worth noting that asexuality covers a large range of attitudes towards sex, from positive to negative. You can also be kinky and ace for example - you can even be kinky, ace and have absolutely no interest in having sex with anyone because the two things are not the same! So in that sense it doesn't rule you out of anything either. 

There's a stereotype and you absolutely don't have to fit it, because god knows I don't.

I hope this helps!