#and i always do feel guilty about it.

[electricea]

also i know i can sit on asks for a while and take my time - how my brain works is really structured and organized, like i like to have cleared my drafts first before i do memes or asks - or sometimes i like to wait a bit to work on asks as opposed to just answering them right away or giving a meme another boop in case someone else wants to send something - if it sounds weird or strange to you, i honestly agree with you - it's just how my mind works and i completely understand if you don't want to do the ask or breaking mutuals beforehand. i guess i just wanted to say your asks don't go unseen or unappreciated, i'm just stupid and can take my time getting to things sometimes and i also recognize people don't want to wait forever and it can suck sitting and waiting for an ask to be answered, so you're valid for not answering/unfollowing. i just wanted to say i appreciate you. 🌻

[catmask]

it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what

[disaster-magician]

Looks like you found one of those golden retriever girls! Good luck with that, Tamarack

(Fake screenshots! These are fan made based on incorrect quotes and not in the game)

[dirtytransmasc]

atwow hot take:

if jake had said his "son for a son" shit out loud and spider had heard him, he would have been so beyond pissed, he would be seeing red.

spider loved his little siblings so much, neteyam included, even after they grew apart. he loved them like they were his own blood and protected them like they were too (we see a lot more of them together in the comics, where spider is the big brother without a doubt). neteyam's death most certainly rocked him hard, even if he hasn't really been able to show it (how could he? he's already going through all the shit with his dad and the RDA and their nonsense, he can't grieve around neytiri, he's just so tired after it all. he doesn't have the room or the energy to grieve yet)

so if jake had the audacity to say that to/around spider not even a few hours after he watched his little brother get shot after coming to save him, after he stared at the bullet hole in his back, after he watched him take his last breaths, after he watched the light leave his eyes, after he watched his little brother die for him; if he said that while his little brother's body lay in a pool of his own blood not even ten feet away, not even cold yet, blood still clinging to his chest, the scent of it still filling the air: he would have lost his shit.

because the disrespect for his brother is wild.

jake was an active player in spider's neglect and abuse for the last 16 years, he let it happen, he helped it happen. he tried to send spider with the humans, tried to take him away from his siblings, from the forests, from eywa to live with his foster family that didn't love him (not to mention Nash was an asswipe of epic proportions) and the RDA of all people. he had referred to spider as a stray animal since he was little. he was the reason spiders life was hell.

and after all that, years and years of putting him in shit positions and allowing him to suffer the fate of being forever unloved and uncared for (by an adult authority figure, cause I love the kids, but they don't make up for the gap left by a parent), this is what it took for jake to care about him? his little brother had to die in front of him first? he had to be traded out to fill the space of a corpse, to fill in the gap left by his little brother's death?

in canon, spider was in deep in shock with nothing to break him from it, he wasn't in the place to really think about any of it, and I'm sure we're gonna see this anger in the coming movies, but if jake had said it out loud, that would have been enough to snap spider right out of it, and he would have given jake a piece of his mind, I just know it.

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

can’t tell if i’m really protecting my peace or just being a shitty person

[ethaninthewilde]

[to myself] you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use sensory aids. you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use aids to make your life easier. there is not a "level" of disabled you have to be be to use aids. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.

[to myself] you are not weak for using aids. it does not mean you are not trying. there is no pride in suffering. there is no shame in using help. you are allowed to make your life easier. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.

[youngpettyqueen]

do you ever think about Garak waking up and seeing Julian in that chair, uncomfortably crammed in and slumped over asleep, and wonder how he must've felt when he realized Julian wasn't going to leave

[skunkes]

dynamic

[ganondoodle]

i wish i could get a break from my own emotions, i either feel nothing or everything constantly and so intensely, its so exhausting, i just want a pause, a break, a breather, a vacation from myself, something that lets me live and not be aggravating or aggravated for once

[tetedurfarm]

can't remember if i ever really gave the full story here, but some of you may remember a couple years ago when i was constantly losing rabbits around around weaning age from a mystery disease and i'd like to talk about it to maybe help others. it has now been over a year of implementing the new weaning protocol and my losses have dropped from 90+% to almost zero.

obvious tw for animal death and discussion of disease.

symptoms: no appetite, severe grimace, bloating, dehydration, occasionally diarrhea. necropsy revealed discolouration of the kidneys on some animals but not all. symptoms would occur suddenly and kill within 48 hours. bodies were often found with legs extended and heads thrown back against the shoulders. some close to death animals would show neurological signs (shaking, stargazing, unable to stand,) attributed to bloating pressure on the nerves inside the body.

attempted treatments: force feeding with critical care mixed with electrolytes, probiotics, and sometimes caecotrope slurry. five days on five days off five days on treatments of toltrazuril dissolved in water; syringed to animals who would not willingly drink. treatment with corid on the five days off. multiple doses of simethicone oral suspension daily for bloating. banamine for pain. cleaning cages between growout groups with bleach, virkon, and torching.

lastly, i took a freshly dead rabbit (euthanised by me because it was near death anyway,) to a local exotics vet for professional necropsy. vet diagnoses: massive amounts of cocci. however, treatment with powerful coccidiostats were not having any significant impact on kit death, especially in winter, when conditions are wet.

i was genuinely at a loss. i spent about fourteen months (longer than i know i should have, and i still feel very guilty about it) trying to get a grip on this disease. i was at my breaking point. i was losing entire litters overnight, within two weeks of weaning them. coccidiostats helped a tiny bit but clearly it wasn't just the cocci that was the problem. however, no other disease i could find listed on any of the rabbit disease and treatment website or books sounded remotely close to what i was experiencing. the symptoms were so generic (rabbits love coming down with mysterious gut problems), and the necropsy done by the vet had basically found nothing else.

thoroughly cleaning the walls, floors, feeders, and water cups of each cage with bleach and a torch had a marginal but noticable affect not on how many kits became ill, but on how long it took them to become ill.

this was a disease that affected almost exclusively young rabbits. i have had four adult rabbits become infected with the disease; of those, two survived the above treatment regimen. all other deaths (and there were a lot,) were kits around 6-9 weeks of age.

but absolute chance i was having a little bit of a crisis on my rabbit breeder's discord server about how i was one more dead litter from getting out of rabbits entirely. which...if you've been here a while, you know is a huge fucking deal to me. it was not possible for me to go scorched-earth on cocci in my current barn, which is open-fronted with dirt floors, so my only remaining option was to cull or rehome my animals and try again once i had a new barn that i could clean more easily. in the midst of throwing around last-ditch effort treatments to look into, i offhandedly mentioned that bleaching cages helped a little.

and then @/bonefarm said 'well bleach doesn't touch cocci, so if bleach helps, it's probably bacterial.'

which led to: 'y'know it almost sounds like clostridial disease, like you vaccinate hoofstock for'

so i thought y'know what. fuck it. a vial of CDT vaccine is ten bucks at the co-op. it literally cannot make things worse. so when my next litters got to weaning age, i bought a vial, some 22 gauge needles, and jabbed them all on their way to the growout cage. in two weeks - the point in which normally, if they hadn't already started dying, they definitely would begin dropping - i revaccinated them.

and then none of them died.

when i tell you i nearly cried.

it took a few more months to really get a full hold on the situation, as the weather in washington in fall and spring is unpredictable and can put a lot of stress on a kit already dealing with leaving mom and being in a new group situation with other rabbits it may not know, but i was starting to get litters where i would maybe lose one or two, and most litters all kits lived to butcher age. i also learned that timely revaccination is ABSOLUTELY necessary as they can and will start dying again. as is cleaning out the cage after each group. but for ten dollars my rabbits were suddenly staying alive.

now the routine is, a week or so before i wean kits (around 4-6 weeks of age), i vaccinate kits with CDT. now i use insulin needles, as they are 1cc syringes (you typically won't need more than that,) and the tiny needles are easier on little baby bunnies, but the smallest gauge needles you can find (at my feed store the smallest they carry is 22 gauge) works just as well. in two weeks i buy a new vial and revaccinate.

the dosage is .1cc per pound (~0.5kg) of weight, so a vial goes a long way.

i still lose the occasional kit, and sometimes there'll be a couple that get icky but get over it in a couple days, and those are animals i don't keep back for breeding to try and build some sort of resistence to it. in the future i hope to not have to deal with this, but it will probably take years. hopefully the new barn with better climate control and concrete floors will cut down on the bacterial load in the animals by a lot.

i don't know why this is a problem i am dealing with, but i can't be the only one. if you're out there dealing with mystery GI disease in your rabbits that won't respond to other treatments...consider stopping by your local farm store and buying a little vial of CDT vaccine and some needles.

[candyheartedchy]

Do any other self shippers feel guilty when they start focusing on a new f/o?

[bereft-of-frogs]

Torbin was so Reath-coded this episode.

They can duel it out over who had the worse outcome of having a tantrum about going back to/staying on Coruscant.

[altschmerzes]

hate when i see a post and i just Know it’s gonna majorly prevent me from writing anything for like. a solid week.

[kacievvbbbb]

The thing is that Dean and his abandonment issues wants Castiel to stay, despite the fuck ups and the blame and the anger, he needs him to stay as proof that he’s not toxic that he can have good things and not break them

But Castiel, and his guilt chose to leave because that is his penance. Why does he deserve to be happy when he has caused so much suffering? How can he look at Dean smile at him when he’s fucked up so much? He needs to leave because how could he be around Dean like he isn’t a living monument to all the ways his fuck ups hurt the ones he loves.

Cas wants to help the brothers, so he leaves. He’s caused them so much pain what right does he have to be around them, when he can be out there getting them information, finding things they need, helping fix their problems. This is his penance. Because no matter how hard he rebelled or how far he fell Castiel has an innate, almost primal need to be holy, to be absolved of his mistakes and sins. And he’s made so many mistakes where else can he find penance but in misery?

And in almost every episode Dean is in some way or form asking Castiel if he'll stay this time, and every-time Cas says no. And Dean can be mean, he’s s a deeply angry man, and so every no seems like proof that he’s pushed him to far that this is it this is when Cas says he's had enough. He's not gonna stay and be screamed or laughed at anymore. Dean’s finally succeeded in driving him away as he does anyone that’s ever given a damn about him. That this is proof of how toxic he is; after all Castiel is a creature with wings, all he wants to do is fly, and here Dean is trying to keep him in a cage.

The more Cas leaves on his own, the more Dean feels the need to give him a reason too.

The ways in which we punish ourselves; depriving ourselves of the ways in which we love.

The narrative’s doomed them from the start.

[puppyeared]

i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

it's actually so important to me that in the memory loss extras xie lian finds out he doesn't have spiritual power anymore (because he's been having sex). it means

he feels comfortable relying on hua cheng

he's able to be 'selfish', and choose what he wants rather than what other people think is correct

he's free from the responsibility of being the most powerful martial god in heaven

he's getting thoroughly dicked down