#if i knew id feel normal afterwards ..

[ganondoodle]

i wish i could get a break from my own emotions, i either feel nothing or everything constantly and so intensely, its so exhausting, i just want a pause, a break, a breather, a vacation from myself, something that lets me live and not be aggravating or aggravated for once

[eyepatchdate]

ok tbh.  as i continue to have more Positive Pride Thoughts, as was my resolution for pride this year, i think i want to emphasize my birom status more, because personally...thats what really matters most to me?  i come out as bi to normies so i dont have to explain things, but being a birom ace is really just.  vital to my being, idk.  i usually say ‘im ace’ when talking about myself but thats just really not accurate. i am BIROM ACE.  that is what MATTERS to me.

[s1m0nth3swag]

Francis Mosses x GN!Reader

AUTHORS NOTE; Haven't written in a while, but thanks to Arlo, a friend (Hi Arlo, I know you're reading this), Inspiration about Francis Mosses struck (he bought me That's not my neighbor and then continued to freak out about Francis with me) so I wrote this. I have so many thoughts about Francis, so... tell me if you want more because i will deliver ngl. Enjoy (or don't, I don't dictate your feelings)

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Porn with little to no plot, Submissive Francis, a little non-consensual at the start (but not in a super weird way, imo?), Gender neutral reader (no pronouns used, tried to write as GN as possible with the compliments and thoughts about Readers appearance), not proofread nor have I thought about this much, more a drabble than an actual thoughtful story (not apologising because I had such a long break from writing anything and obviously it's gonna suck a little when I come back)

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

The first time Francis had realised that he hadn't gotten any touch from another human being was when someone brushed up against him on his way home from work. He had felt like a creep afterwards because he hadn't stopped thinking about what could've happened if the person hadn't moved away and had just stayed pressed against him. That was a week before you started your job as a doorman.

The second time Francis had noticed was when a friend of his had spoken to him on the phone, talking about his new girlfriend. Said friend gave too much intel on their sex life. Francis had wondered if he could have someone the way his friend explained - he quickly brushed the thought off. That was two days before you started working as a doorman.

The third time, he noticed when you had smiled at him. It was your first day, and he was tired from work. You had repeated his name after reading it off of his ID, and he had looked at you for the first time since his eyes kept falling closed, and you smiled so brightly. You had told him his name was nice, and you said it again. Francis swore that the way his name rolled off your tongue was the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. Not even an angel could sound more wonderful. Suddenly, he was a lot more energised. Totally not thanks to the fact that he had immediately grown hard the second he had seen your smile. He had gone to his apartment that night and had jerked off for the first time in probably months. He had always been too tired to previously, but now he couldn't stop thinking about how you'd sound moaning his name. Maybe you were more of a groaner, or you'd whimper and whine. He came as he imagined how you'd look sucking his dick.

Since then, Francis has always looked forward to entry checks. What had normally kept him away from his bed and a good night's sleep was now the best experience of his day. He loved the way you spoke to him even though he was too nervous to respond. Sometimes, he deliberately didn't show his ID at first, just so you'd ask about it, and he could listen to you talk a little more. He felt guilty about it. He knew you had never agreed to feed into this weird little obsession of his. It was awful of him to do this - have you talk to him enough to give him more scenarios to think about that night.

A few weeks after all this had started, Francis had built up the courage to finally ask you out. Just something simple, dinner at his place. He had to cook for himself all the time. Cooking for you as well wouldn't be too different, right?

Francis was wrong. He was anxious that the food wouldn't taste good and kept tasting it just so he could make sure it hadn't mysteriously switched tastes in the last 20 seconds. When you knocked on his door, he took a minute to make sure he didn't look like a mess - though you wouldn't mind either way since he always looked like a mess when he came through during your shifts.

You looked so good when he opened the door. Your hair fell perfectly, your lips looked a little too kissable, and Francis had to stop his train of thought just so he wouldn't embarrass himself by having yet another boner caused by just the way you looked. You were a little shorter than him, smiling up as he let you inside.

"You look good." He mumbled, his cheeks flushing. He seriously had to lay off thinking like a high-schooler. His nervousness and awkwardness were getting really annoying - to him, at least. You grinned, chuckling softly as you took off your shoes. "Thank you. You do as well." His heart for sure burst at that - he knew something else would burst as well if he didn't stop thinking right this second.

Throughout the evening, ignoring his thoughts came easier and easier. The two of you had eaten, you had told him he was a good cook, he had almost excused himself to the bathroom because of it. Now you were sitting on the couch, drinking wine and talking casually.

"You know, when you first walked through, I swore I would die." You giggled, looking at him with a mischievous look. Francis was confused by that statement. "How come?" He asked, tilting his head at you in question. "I was sure you were a doppelganger. You looked too handsome to be real." You cheekily answered, cheeks slightly flushed as you downed your wine. Francis blushed heavily, looked away from you, and thought about your words for a moment. The silence was loud as he wondered what to answer. "..you think I'm handsome?" He questioned while looking at the floor. If he had looked at you, he'd have seen the way you stared at him, your own cheeks coloured a deep red. "Extremely." You muttered. It took him a minute before he could look at you, but when he did, his lips pressed against yours in a desperate kiss.

When you reciprocated, Francis groaned and pulled you closer until you sat on his lap. He was just a tiny bit embarrassed when you gasped and felt his dick press against you. In all honesty, he had held back the entire night, and he was allowed a little selfishness. "Sorry. Can't help it." He muttered between kisses. You just grinned against his lips before grinding against him. A whimper fell from his lips - that was the moment he was actually embarrassed. "That's cute.." You had mumbled, a cheeky grin on your face as you started placing kisses against his jaw and neck. One of your hands trailed down his body to rest right over his crotch, Francis unconsciously bucked his hips up against your hand, whining. He didn't notice anything else as you caught the skin of his neck with your teeth carefully, leaving the softest bite mark on him. He shuddered at the feeling and gasped before realising that you had meanwhile unzipped his pants. A groan slipped from his lips as you ran a finger over his dick, still hidden from sight by his boxers, but god knows he would cum the second you'd touch it without. "Is this okay?" You asked him, and he nodded faster than he even knew he could. "Yes. God, yes. Please, please continue.." he muttered, his breathing heavy as he watched you slide off his lap, settling in front of him and between his legs. His dick twitched at the sight, and he let out a heavy sigh. Minutes later, his pants and boxers were discarded, and the way you looked up at him, his dick so close to your face, made Francis feel the way his orgasm was approaching way too quick. The second you wrapped your hand around him he whined pathetically, bucked up into your hand and knew that he'd definitely cum too soon. Your hand was so soft, cool against his hot flesh, and you worked his dick so good he almost thought you were a professional. He looked down at you through lidded eyes, watched the way you bit your lip, and grinned knowingly. "Such a pretty boy, huh?" You chuckled, and that definitely sealed the deal for Francis. He came, probably ruining his shirt as he dirtied both it and your hand. His heart stopped for a second when you licked your hand while looking up at him. "You didn't give me enough time to taste you properly. Don't look at me like that." You huffed, rolling your eyes at him. "You should probably take off your shirt so you can clean it later." You then winked. He swiftly shed the piece of clothing, entranced by your voice and the way you looked. "Sorry, didn't mean to cum that fast.." he mutters, his voice out of breath. "Jus'.. unused to... this.." he added, clearing his throat awkwardly. You laughed and shook your head. "Don't worry about it. We have all the time in the world to make you last longer. I'm gonna give you a real reason to be tired tomorrow." You winked.

Francis didn't even mind that he was in for a long night.

Your honour I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

[luveline]

Hi id love to send u a request but I just can't match your genius mind, id looooveee more zombie!au Steve!!! 🥺🥺🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻 maybe smth about r or Steve almost being bitten by a geek?

hi!! thank you angel!! zombie au steve x fem!reader, 3k

"Sneaking around with your boyfriend would've been considered sort of scandalous a few years ago," you think aloud, eyes skipping over medication labels slowly. "Now it's the norm."

"We are the opposite of scandalous," Steve says. 

You push pill bottles aside to meet his eyes through the gap in the shelves. He narrows his gaze. "You know how you saw me naked, like, a week after we met?" 

Steve's glare turns playfully salacious. "Yeah?" 

"Did that make it less, uh, important? Not important. Was it less intimate for you when I was naked on purpose?" 

Steve returns his eyes to the pill bottles. "No." 

"Is that weird for me to ask you?" 

"No, that's not weird, why would that be weird?" He looks up again. His expression softens. "Don't worry, it's not weird. It's a normal question. You're wondering if I was… desensitised." 

"Yeah, exactly. Were you desensitised?" 

Trust Steve to say something snippy and then feel bad enough afterwards to immediately backtrack. There's no need for him to feel guilty because you'd known he was joking, and if he weren't it wouldn't matter to you —you know being outside of camp makes him nervous, and tightly strung. You aren't expecting him to be all smiles, especially when you're asking peculiar questions. 

"If anything," he says, his voice a murmur that evidences shy affection, "it was way more special. I knew you back to front already, but the first time you showed me you, on purpose, it was different." 

You grin at him. "Like a look don't touch scenario where you finally get to touch?" 

"I'm trying to be sweet on you." 

"What was it like?" you ask. Your smile is audible. 

"Like fucking relief." He reaches through the shelves to squeeze your hand. "You're being slow." 

You take your hand back and return to the task. You're looking for anti-seizure medication for one of the children at camp. It's an important mission and neither of you had hesitated when Joyce asked you to go, but you can't say you enjoy being out here. Talking to Steve makes things better. Easier to cope. Talking to Steve about loving him and being loved by him could make you forget a pike through the chest. 

You move to the next shelf below. 

There aren't many drugs for epilepsy. You aren't sure the child even has epilepsy, but no one has the knowledge to identify anything else. Sarah (Robin's fast friend from camp) read in her field medic journal that a seizure can be caused by lots of things, and she also said that sometimes what looks like a seizure isn't a seizure at all. What is it, then? you'd asked. 

The page was missing. 

You're working through a mental list of four drugs methodically, scanning and rescanning the labels on the bottles in the back of a pharmacy. This is the raw stuff, the kind that sometimes needs to be ground and poured into capsules with filler, so if you do find the right meds you'll also need to find a pestle and some other equipment. It's a hassle, but it's worth it completely if it helps. 

"Clonazepam," you read. You lift your head. "Steve, that's the right one, right? Clonazepam?" 

Steve's head snaps up. "Yeah, that's the last resort one. Where's that?" 

He rounds the shelves to be on the same side as you, seemingly hoping for similar medications to be in the same place. His hand drops casually to your shoulder as he bends, reading each label with a determined brow. 

"Valproate," he says, relieved, hand closing around another bottle. "Okay, two options. Thank god." 

"Do they have the side effects on the bottle?" you ask. 

Steve turns the bottle but there's no second label.

"The side effects are usually worse than the original problem," he says, frowning, "remember those migraine pills we found, the leaflet?" That's how bored you and Steve had become at one point in your isolation, you'd started reading medical pamphlets. "I'd rather have a headache than lose my sense of smell." 

"Depends on how bad the headache is. You keep looking for the, uh, the carba-Tegre one. I'll go scout the equipment." 

"Tegretol," he corrects lightly. "Carbamazepine, brand name Tegretol." 

You're impressed by his memory. He sees that, and he lifts his hand to you. Palm your way, you can see he's written the names of the medication as you'd been advised to find by one of the camp members, a retired carer who worked bedside for a lady who suffered from epilepsy. 

"Your spelling is terrible," you say. 

"Whatever," he says flippantly. You're barely ten paces away when he adds, "I love you." 

"I love you too," you say. There's no need to call. The building, this entire town, is silent. You'll hear a geek a mile away. 

You poke at dusty equipment sceptically. You don't need filler, you don't think, but it affects absorption, maybe? You're not a pharmacist nor a chemist, whoever's watching knows you didn't have time to become much of anything, you're just doing as the retired carer advised. There's a press contraption with what feels like hundreds of caplet sized holes toward the front. You put it in your bag and lament its weight as you search for a pestle. 

"I've found the filler," Steve says. "There's a huge container of it. Lactose. And another of starch."

"Starch, like potatoes? We could put her medicine in mash potato."

"I think we just need a pestle and a weighing scale now. And some hand sanitiser." 

"I'll have the scales and the sanitiser, what about Robin's deodorant?" you ask. 

"At the front. I'll get it. You'll have another one?" 

"Please tell me they have that Carribean Crush one again, it was lovely." 

"You're lovely. I'll find it." 

The weighing scale must get its name from how ridiculously heavy it is. That along with the pestle has your bag feeling like a boulder attached to your neck. Maybe Steve will be willing to share the load with you. Actually, there's no need for maybe. If you tell him, he'll carry it with you happily. 

You scan the room for useful things. Batteries, food, things you've trained your eye to pick out of a bomb site if necessary. You pocket a pen for Steve and leave the rest where it lays, stepping out into the slightly bigger medications room before rounding a plexiglass wall to the pharmacy counter. Steve crouches down the aisleway, rejected roll-on deodorant on the floor beside him. 

You're about ten feet away from him when the geek lunges for him. 

You can't even tell it's a geek at first, it moves quickly, quietly, smooth as a living human. They've become diverse as the infection thrives, and you should've been thinking about that fact. You should've been standing at the front of the room. 

You freeze. You freeze and you waste time. 

"Steve!" you shriek. 

Steve's flat on his side, kicking with the entire force of his body. The geek actually bounces back with the force of each kick, but he's persistent, and stronger than he should be, a mottled hand on Steve's shoulder and decaying teeth snapping with a sound like cracking marble near his face. Steve tries to scramble from under the geek and its face falls down by Steve's ribs and upper arm. He yanks his arm away, and there's an odd ripping sound. 

You run so fast down the aisle to protect him that you can't slow, the entire weight of your body and the heavy bag you carry throttling the geek with a horrid slap against the glass door. It flies open and you topple out onto asphalt, sliding across the geek's body and taking the brunt of your rolling in your hands and the top of your face. Steve shouts a war cry and barrels after you. You go on knees, hands trembling and rushing as you grab for the knife in your belt. Steve lands on top of the geek and drives the blade of his pen knife straight into the crease between its brows, grunting as he goes, his breath coming too fast. 

You've clipped your head on the floor, the warmth of blood trickling down your brow. It doesn't concern you. 

What concerns you is the sizable tear in Steve's coat. 

He almost cuts you with his knife as you run at him, yanking the sleeves of his coat and jacket down. 

"What– what are you doing?" he asks. You tug at his sleeve like you've been possessed, panic a coil that won't loosen in your throat. "What–?" 

If he's been bitten, you'll have to saw his arm off. It's the most horrible thing you can think of, hurting someone you love, hurting the one person you love most. Your breath is half sob as you finally get his outerwear off of his arm. You don't know how to do that to somebody and especially Steve, how could you ever sever a limb? But if it will stop the infection, if it would save him—

You push the long sleeve of his t-shirt up his arm and stare down at his arm. Bruised near the wrist, pale, threaded with dark-green veins, his skin is unbroken. He hasn't been bitten. 

You pull his arm to your chest and almost break down there in the street. Steve stands with his coat hanging off of his one shoulder and doesn't respond to your actions for a long, heavy second. 

"You thought it bit me," he says. 

Your breath catches. 

"It didn't bite you." 

"No," he says, "it didn't bite me." 

"Your coat." 

Steve pulls you back inside of the store. He looks around the room twice, and then leads you to an empty corner to hug you. 

You're frenetic and frantic at once, hands sliding up and down his arm, eyes tracing his light skin like an injury might materialise. 

"It didn't bite me," Steve says, "but you're bleeding." 

You hiss as his fingertip locates your cut forehead. It must be a very small cut considering how little it bled. You've had head injuries that wept for hours, leaving you dizzy and disorientated from the subsequent lack of blood. This one's a wimp. 

You've also seriously hurt your shoulder from the backpack's weight and your small skirmish. You're not going to tell him that, not now, not when you've been dropped face first into the horror of potentially losing him forever. 

Steve eases out of his jacket. He takes your hand from his arm and pushes both sleeves up, bearing both arms in front of you. 

"It didn't get me, honey. Try to calm down." 

He says it softly, with no judgement or condescension. Only concern. 

"I'm fine," you say. 

It's strangled, you'll admit. Steve turns his arms to show you both sides before he tilts your head up and toward the meagre filtering sunlight, analysing your head injury in detail. 

"Did you hurt yourself? When you fell, did it feel like you hit it hard, or was it something sharp?" You don't answer, and he gets snippy. "Y/N, tell me. Did it hurt?" 

"Steve, you're the one who almost got bit." 

"And you're the one who almost died of a fucking concussion not that long ago, in case you forgot. Sit down. I'm not kidding, sit down." 

You blink, mildly startled by his hissing, and sit on the ground. He's being snappy because he's panicking, that's all it is. You hold back an unhelpful comment that your concussion had been months and months ago, so it kind of was long ago. 

He lets his coat and jacket fall to the floor and jogs back up the aisle to the bandages and gauze. He takes a detour for antiseptic, and then he sets himself down in front of you. 

"Did you hit it hard?" he asks. 

You shake your head. 

He doused a piece of gauze in antiseptic. "Sting," he warns, washing the length of your forehead with his makeshift wipe. He quickly swaps the bloodied one for a clean one. "Hold this." 

You hold it. He gets back up, scouring the shelves by the bandages until he plucks out a small box. He crushes it with his hand and the medical tape inside falls into his waiting palm. He sits again, tears two strips, and lines the edges of your gauze with them. It would all be much easier if they had big band-aids. 

"Show me your pupils, baby," he says. 

Steve, for his street smarts and survival skills, used to freak out about injuries. But Steve freaking out freaks you out and he guessed that soon enough, so every cut and bruise these days is met with a silent approach. It's the opposite of your reaction. Embarrassment starts to creep in. 

You widen your eyes and let Steve check your pupils. 

"Same size," he says. 

"It's just a cut." 

Steve shuffles across the floor so his thigh is pressed to yours, rather than having his back to the store. He breathes out slowly, breathes in quick, and then forces the bottom of his palm into his thigh cruelly. 

"How the fuck did that happen?" he asks. If he weren't being hyper vigilant, he'd be scrubbing his eyes in a tell tale nervous tic. "We haven't had something like that in months. We swept this whole place when we came in, where the fuck was he hiding? I feel sick." 

"You do?" you ask, terrified. 

"It didn't bite me," he assures you again. Thankfully without any annoyance. 

"It ripped a chunk out of your coat with its teeth. Forgive me for thinking your skin was less hardy than pressed plastic." 

Your acidity shocks you both. 

Things are awkward for a split second, 'cos it's difficult to feel awkward around someone who you've spent every second of the day with since you met. You feel for a moment that you could just take him by the shoulders and shake him. You love him, you could never hurt him, but he has to see sense: he doesn't understand how much you need him. Not to keep you alive, but to give you a reason to do it yourself. If he got bit, you'd die. Plain and simple. Internally first, but surely the heartbreak would murder you in the end. 

"I didn't know you were so disagreeable," Steve says. 

"I didn't know you knew a word that long."

Steve laughs, startled. You want to be mad, but you're so thankful that he's not dying and so suddenly wiped you can only laugh with him.

"I forgot how quick you are when we fight," Steve says. 

"We don't fight anymore." 

"That could be amended. Especially if you're going to get fresh with me."

"You started it." 

"I always start it." Steve flicks your shoulder."Let me see your head," he says. You turn your neck so he can see the outermost side of your head. "You swelled up like a helium balloon when you fell through that floor. It was right at the back of your head and I could tell something was wrong… This is fine. It bulged out last time." 

"It what?" you demand, pulling another rare laugh from him.

He winds down, clasping your knee. You cover his hand, and only then do you realise it's shaking.

"Steve, you almost died." 

"But I didn't die, I'm fine, and you need to stop freaking out because high blood pressure is definitely bad for a concussion. You could die yourself if you don't relax, seriously." Steve clears his throat. "Sorry, for getting heated. And thanks for knocking that guy clean off of me, what was that? You holding out on me when we wrestle? That was clean." 

"That was like, a mom's adrenaline thing. No, not 'cos I'm your mom, idiot. Loved one's adrenaline. I thought you were gonna die and suddenly I could've run for fucking gold in the Tokyo Olympics." 

"How did I get some of that? Whenever you're hurt I just feel like crying." 

"I think the crying bit comes after. Maybe if you tried getting to me quicker you'd have enough adrenaline to save me." 

He smiles before he talks, so you know it's going to be bad, "If a geek eats me during an adrenaline rush, am I a human Red Bull?"

"Okay, you have to keep an eye on the store because I need to be hugging you," you say, giving him little time to disagree as you climb on top of his lap. 

It's not comfortable nor sexy, but for once you don't care how heavy you are. You wrap your hands around the back of his neck and cradle his head, his face hooked over your shoulder so that he can still see your surroundings. He slides his hands underneath your coat and hugs you in turn. Your heart's still racing, and his hands are still shaking, but you lived. He lived. You've defeated danger for the hundredth time. 

"This really doesn't get any easier, does it?" you ask, petting his hair.  

He pats your back. "No, I don't think so. S'why I need you with me." 

"That's why I need you." 

Steve dots a quick kiss against the column of your throat. When he puts his chin back atop your shoulder, it's with a heaving sigh. 

"I can't believe you almost got bit," you say. 

"Yeah, well. Nobody has any manners anymore." 

[tiramisuucakeee]

8. LEAP OF FAITH

( sunflower, yang jungwon )

“ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,”

the rhythm of the music kept you going as you ran laps around the national mall, pushing yourself to stretch each stride as far as you could. your legs burned a little, but you were used to it. the beat kept you moving.

"needless to say, na-na-na-na-na, she was all na-na... nevertheless, calling it quits now, baby..." you mumbled under your breath, your eyes scanning the area. families were scattered around, some taking photos, others just enjoying the day, but no one paid you any mind. it was normal for runners to come to this place.

"crash at my place... na-na-na-na..." you hummed, slowing down as your watch beeped. it was time for a break. you eased up, catching your breath, and let your legs slow, feet still tapping to the beat.

“ooh-ooh-ooh… can't refuse… she wanna… cruise, and i’m not trynna lose…”

carrying yourself towards a tree on the grass around the monument, you sat down carefully, not trying to open the wound on your side again, thanks to the prowler. it was bad, you knew you weren’t supposed to be doing this - not until after graduation, at least - but a few days wouldn’t hurt. besides, you had plans to take some pictures with the team afterward, a shot in some cheer formation. you needed to keep moving if you wanted it to look right.

your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling you out of the moment. you grabbed it, seeing the caller ID, aunt may. you tapped to answer, bringing the phone to your ear.

“hey, sweetheart,” aunt may’s voice was warm but slightly worried. “could you do me a favor? i’ve been trying to get ahold of wonnie all day, but he’s not answering. i was thinking... maybe you could swing by and take his laptop to him? he’s at stark tower, but i don’t know what’s going on with him. i’ve called, texted, nothing.”

it was weird for jungwon to act like this, though you remembered you haven’t talked at all this past week. you two were both busy with final exams and graduation preparations. or atleast you were, and thought he was.

you glanced around, letting out a small breath. “yeah, of course, i’ll take it over. don’t worry, i’ll make sure he gets it.” you paused, feeling the familiar knot of concern twist in your stomach. “is he... okay?”

“he's probably just busy with that internship. you know how he gets, after all, it’s his future,” aunt may replied with a chuckle, though her tone was still tinged with concern. “just check in with him for me, okay? make sure that stark guy isn’t too hard on him.”

“i will,” you said, already standing up and stretching out your legs. the break had done you good, and now you felt ready to go. “i’ll head out soon to your home. don’t worry.”

after hanging up, you took a moment to look around again. the day was too nice to rush through. but, of course, there was no saying no to aunt may - or to jungwon, for that matter. you grabbed your stuff, deciding you’d finish your workout another day.

!

sliding the spare key inside the door lock, you were met with aunt may’s apartment, a place you’ve recently visited more times than you could count, your parents often let you crash here ever since you and jungwon started being a thing. even though they’ve met him three times, they could trust him with you.

you stepped into jungwon's room, and looked around. posters of the bridge, a few superhero sketches, and street art cover the walls. his bed's messy - blanket half-thrown, sneakers scattered at the foot, his backpack tossed nearby. there’s a mug of something half-drunk on the nightstand, and the laptop's open with a few tabs of research and news articles.

“there it is,” you spoke out loud, and headed over to the device, glancing slightly at what he was doing. “cross species genetics? lizard dna into mice? what the hell…” you shook your head, and closed it, slipping it on his backpack and taking it with you.

the city streets were busy, being almost lunch time, so you decided to take a cab to the stark tower, leaving a message for jungwon, to let him know you’d be there with his stuff.

you turned your gaze upward and spotted the towering silhouette of stark tower in the distance. it was even more imposing up close - its sleek, modern design gleaming in the sunlight, with a structure that seemed to stretch endlessly into the sky. it was one of the city's landmarks, and though you’d been here before once with your class in a tour, its scale always made you feel small, almost insignificant.

once paying and getting off the cab, you approached the entrance, greeted by the constant hum of tech and innovation that permeated the building.

“woah…” as you walked inside, the lobby was something else - clean, minimalistic, yet undeniably high-tech. glass panels and steel frames blended with holographic displays that floated in midair, showing the latest updates from stark industries. people moved with purpose - some in suits, others in casual wear - talking on their communicators or typing furiously on handheld devices. the whole place reeked of power and cutting-edge science.

your family had a tech company, for hospitals all around the country, but they couldn’t compare to the infrastructure of this place, it seemed from the future.

at the front desk, a sleek, well-dressed receptionist looked up as you approached, a polite smile on her face. you cleared your throat. “hey, i’m looking for the internship program, i have to drop a computer off. where do i go?”

she glanced at her screen, eyes flickering briefly over her monitor. “go through security, you make your way up the elevator. just swipe your ID card on the panel inside, and it’ll get you where you need to go.”

you blinked, a little taken aback. "i don’t-"

but she had already turned back to her screen, leaving you a little more confused. it seemed a bit strange, but you figured it out. after passing security check, you made your way to the nearest elevator, feeling a bit more like an imposter than you should’ve, as you slipped into the sleek, mirrored lift, praying that it would work without a card.

the elevator doors slid shut, and the lift moved upwards. you didn’t know how far you were supposed to go, and suddenly, the elevator came to an abrupt stop. the lights flickered slightly before they steadied. the doors slid open with a soft chime, and you stepped out into a hallway. but something felt wrong, this didn’t seem like a floor for internship.

this wasn’t where you were supposed to be. and now you were stuck on… some random floor.

before you could even process it, a blond, tall, muscular figure rounded the corner, dressed in a casual, yet worn-looking jacket. captain america. steve rogers.

he paused as soon as he saw you, his expression shifting from casual to surprised. “hey, i know you,” he said, his voice low and warm. he seemed genuinely curious. “you’re- uh- you’re with spider- jungwon, right?”

you brain did a quick flip, and the awkwardness hit almost immediately. “uh, yeah. i mean, yeah, i’m... i’m with him.” it was crazy enough you had met spider-man two times, now you met captain america.

steve chuckled, a warm, almost nostalgic sound. “that kid’s talked about you more than i think he realizes. seems like you’ve gotten yourself in trouble a lot lately, huh? spider guy also likes to run his mouth about the people he saves.”

you laughed nervously, your brain scrambling for something witty to say. "no, yeah, i guess i have… sorry, it’s really, wow, meeting two superheroes, you guys are like- celebs, or something. i mean like, it’s incredible."

he grinned. “it is. some old people still don’t believe the 65 years in ice thing,” his eyes crinkled with amusement. “we’re kind of old-fashioned, i wouldn’t have either.”

you smiled awkwardly, glad that the tension was melting away. there was something about steve’s demeanor that made you feel comfortable. a few moments passed, and the two of you started making small talk in the middle of the hallway, sharing old-man jokes. spider-man was right, captain america would like you if you ever met him.

it was weird, bonding with him, he seemed so young, yet so old. but he was easy-going, after all, he knew your late grandfather, who created the family medical-tech business, all starting in the war, selling it to military.

“so, what brings you here? i suppose you’re not here to talk to me in the middle of the hall, right? you’re looking for jungwon?" steve asked, still grinning.

“you’re funny, and yeah, i’ve got his stuff, uh- his computer," you replied, gesturing to the backpack slung over your shoulder. "but it looks like i got a little lost. could you tell me where he is doing the internship?”

he nodded, his smile still there. “no problem. i’ll take you to the science lab, you need to go find happy, he should be nearby supervising, he’ll help you.”

the two of you walked down the hallway, chatting as you went, until you finally reached a secure door with a card access panel. steve swiped his own ID, and the door clicked open. you waved him goodbye, thanked him once more, and stepped into the bustling office space beyond.

inside, the floor was filled with a steady hum of conversation and activity. corporate scientists, researchers, engineers, with interns following them around - all working on something monumental. holo-screens flickered, large projects sprawled across tables, and high-tech gadgets buzzed in the hands of staff members. you recognized some of the faces from the news or briefings. this was the real deal. and it was a little overwhelming.

you felt the weight of the backpack more acutely now, knowing you’d have to find jungwon or happy in this sea of highly skilled professionals. but you didn’t have time to hesitate.

you tried asking a few people where happy or jungwon were supposed to be, but no one seemed to know. or maybe they just didn’t have the time to help. every answer you got was a direction that led you to a dead end or deeper into a maze of hallways. at this point, you were starting to wonder if you’d accidentally wandered into one of stark's top-secret labs.

“this is so bad,” you clicked your tongue, finding yourself in front of a set of double doors. they were sleek and imposing, clearly leading to something important. you stared at them for a second, then reached out instinctively, pushing them open.

and that’s when you found yourself inside... mr. stark's office.

“no, no, no, this is really bad, they’re going to arrest me for trespassing…” your eyes widened, and your breath caught for a moment.

the room was vast and pristine-modern, almost intimidating. large windows stretched across one side of the room, offering an impressive view of the city skyline. stark’s desk was sleek, with various holographic displays of the iron suit flickering to life the moment you stepped inside. the room had a polished, almost futuristic vibe, a blend of luxury and technology. you could feel the weight of history in the room, like every inch of it screamed genius.

behind the desk, standing in front of a monitor, was a man, arms crossed, his usual guarded expression softening slightly when he saw you.

“please tell me you’re happy,” you breathed out, more nervous than ever.

“well, if it isn’t y/n,” he said, his voice gruff but familiar. “i am. aunt may told me you’d be dropping something off for jungwon.”

you blinked, surprised he recognized you so easily. "uh, yeah... i... kind of got lost, though."

“yeah, that’s easy to do in this place," happy said with a knowing grunt. “come on. let me take you to him.”

he led you down another corridor, moving quickly, but not rushing. after a few turns, he finally stopped in front of a large door, opening it to reveal a sleek conference room. it was clearly set up for serious business - glass tables, multiple monitors, and seating for a dozen or so people. you felt a bit out of place standing there, but happy just gave you a nod and gestured for you to enter.

“hang tight for a minute. i'll let jungwon know you’re here,” happy said, before slipping out of the room, leaving you alone.

you took a seat, glancing around. the conference room felt a little less intimidating than mr. stark’s office.

you barely had time to think when the door to the conference room suddenly slid open.

spider-man stepped in.

“woah- hey- hold on, y/n? w-what are you doing here?” jungwon spoke, trying to conceal his voice. he thought aunt may would be here to drop his computer off, that’s why he came in his suit, not bothering to change. but you were here.

“oh, hi,” you waved, hugging the backpack close to you.

“w-what, shouldn’t you be resting? uh, you know, with the prowler thing that happened?” he stuttered, and walked towards the other end of the room, trying not to be so near.

“no… i was dismissed from the hospital a while ago…” you said. “are you okay…?-“

he totally ignored your question, and spoke loudly. “you shouldn’t be here, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“excuse me?” you stood up, “what do you mean i shouldn’t be here? what i do is none of your business mr. spider-man, i’m not some kind of villain,” you told him.

spider-man looked away, forgetting he was in his suit and mask, and he wasn’t yang jungwon for you. all of this was making him tired from hiding.

he had just been tossed around and almost crushed by a gigantic lizard, and now he had to continue lying to people he didn’t want to lie to.

“i’m sorry, it’s not my place to question you. i suppose you’re here for that guy you’re with right? the one that was on your computer, the intern. i’ll let him know you’re here, i think i just passed by him in the hallway.” he spoke softly, calming down.

“thank you, spider-man,” you gave him a nod, and he turned to leave, not before you said something again “you were right.”

“what do you mean?” the masked hero turned around.

“captain america. he’s a cool guy,” you smiled, remembering the conversation.

“yeah, old man probably knows everyone and their grandparents by now.” spider-man chuckled, and then went to close the door of the conference room.

!

yang jungwon had never in his life changed clothes faster. he came out of the employee’s bathroom, jumping in one leg as he tied his shoelaces.

“shit, shit- ow!” he ran into a wall, and then opened the door of the room you were in, seeing you stood by the window panel.

“h-hey! y/n, they told me you came to drop something off“ he spoke, panting.

you turned to him, he looked absolutely messy. his labcoat’s neck was folded inwards, his shirt was crumbled and his hair pointing in every direction.

“what’s going on with you, jungwon?”

he knew this was bad. you two haven’t talked lately, since he has been busy trying to fight the prowler and norman osborn at the same time, and let’s not talk about his encounters with doctor octavia.

"i'm fine, w-what do you mean?" he laughed, running a hand through his messy hair, though his voice lacked its usual ease.

you stepped closer, instinctively reaching up to fix his hair for him. "jungwon, you're anything but fine. you look like you've been run over by a truck."

for a moment, his eyes flickered with surprise. how did you know about that?

he’d been fighting norman osborn in the streets just hours earlier, and after the battle, when the dust had settled, he barely managed to escape being flattened by a truck that barreled down the street as the lizard disappeared into the sewers.

he gave a half-hearted chuckle, trying to mask the exhaustion in his voice. "is that supposed to be an insult? because if i look this good after being hit by a truck, we should probably check on the truck instead."

he laughed, but the joke didn’t quite land. you didn’t find it funny, not when he looked so worn out, his eyes shadowed with something deeper. it worried you - more than you wanted to admit. it was like he was falling apart, right in front of you, and you weren’t sure how to stop it. graduation was only a few days away, and yet, it seemed like his whole world was unraveling.

jungwon let out a slow breath, his face softening as he dropped his head against your shoulder. "i’m sorry," he whispered, his voice strained. "can we talk? please?"

you wrapped your arm around him, holding him a little tighter. "we can do whatever you need, won," you said, your voice gentle but firm. "just talk to me."

jungwon took your hand, guiding you through the quiet halls of stark tower, moving with purpose but not rushing. the weight of the silence between you both felt heavy, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, just full of unspoken words. when you reached the elevator, he pressed the button for the rooftop, and the moment the doors closed, he sighed heavily, as if the burden of the day had caught up with him all at once.

when the doors finally opened, the fresh air hit you both like a wave, and you stepped out into the cool breeze. the city sprawled out beneath you in all its chaotic beauty, the hum of the streets below a distant, rhythmic buzz. the skyline stretched into the horizon. it was almost peaceful up here, far from the noise and pressure of the city.

you followed jungwon to the edge of the rooftop, leaning against the railing as you both took in the view. the moment felt intimate, like you were suspended between the sky and the earth, disconnected from everything but each other.

for a long moment, neither of you spoke. jungwon ran his fingers through his hair again, then rested his hands on the railing, his eyes fixed on the city below. he looked tired, drained.

finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “i wanna tell you something, y/n.”

he turned to face you, and for the first time, you saw him fully. his face looked rough, bruised, with faint marks of scars near his temple, remnants of a battle you knew nothing about. the sight made your stomach twist, the heaviness in his eyes telling you that something was weighing on him.

"okay..." you nodded, turning to face him as well, your voice soft and steady.

he hesitated, his expression conflicted, like he wanted to say something but the words were stuck, caught in his throat. the tension in the air grew thick between you, your heart beating faster in anticipation.

"i... i've been bitten..." he began, his voice shaky, eyes searching yours.

in that moment, everything in you froze. this was it. this was what he'd been hiding from you. you felt a sharp pang in your chest. he was confessing to you.

the last thing you wanted was for him to pull back now that he was going to tell you that word. you could feel the weight of the moment, and the desire to protect what you both had.

“so have i…” you spoke, voice barely above a whisper.

“okay…” he whispered, a bit dizzy. he seemed to realize what you thought this was, and even if he wanted to confess his love for you now, he was meaning to confess something else. he just wanted to close the distance between the two of you in that moment, seeing you so near and vulnerable, but he had to get it out before doing that, your love was too much for him.

"okay, okay, okay, i gotta tell you this one thing," he gulped, shaking his head slightly as if trying to ground himself. his voice was unsteady, like the words were building inside him and needed to come out. "i gotta tell you this one thing, and it’s about spider-man and everything that’s been happening, the prowler, all of it. alright?" his hands waved in the air, as if trying to grasp at the right way to explain it.

you blinked, suddenly feeling your heart drop a little. it wasn’t what you thought.

“oh. okay,” you said, awkwardly stepping back, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. you hadn’t meant to read into things like that, and now you felt exposed, vulnerable in a way you hadn’t expected.

jungwon’s face dropped, his eyes widening at your reaction. “what?” he breathed out, watching you step away, the confusion clearly written across his features. “wait, no, no, no- okay, forget that, i won’t talk about that.” he shook his head, clearly frustrated with himself.

“no, it’s okay,” you insisted, though the words felt hollow in your throat. you didn’t want him to notice how embarrassed you were.

"no, it's not," he said, his voice firmer now, the urgency in it returning. he took a step closer, his eyes locked on yours. "i'm gonna talk about me, okay?"

you blinked, swallowing hard. "what about you?" you asked, your voice quieter now, watching him carefully as he searched for the right words. the air between you both felt thick with tension.

“it’s impo- i wish i could just-“ he blinked, as he struggled. “i- i can’t. it’s hard to say.” he looked at you again.

you watched him carefully, feeling a mix of concern and worry. the longer he hesitated, the more it gnawed at you. "just say it," you encouraged.

"mmm, i don't know..." he muttered, frustration clouding his face. he rubbed the back of his neck as if trying to shake the words loose, but they stayed stuck.

"say it," you whispered again, your voice soft but full of faith. you wanted him to trust you, wanted him to know you were there, no matter how heavy or difficult the truth was.

he turned back toward the railing, his head hanging low in self-disappointment. the way his posture slumped made something inside you tighten with worry. what was so hard to say? maybe it was something even worse than you thought.

"what? jungwon?" you called, your hand moving to rest on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "you can tell me."

he didn’t answer right away, but after a moment, he let out a long, quiet sigh. he seemed so small in that moment, so unlike the strong, confident person he usually was. you felt your heart tighten, the worry turning to a quiet desperation to help him.

“please,” you whispered, your hand still resting on his shoulder, waiting for him to look at you, hoping that whatever it was, it wouldn’t break you both.

he stood straight up, as if he was about to tell you, but his mouth betrayed him. his lips parted, but the words wouldn’t come. "i can’t..." he whispered, shaking his head, his eyes flickering with that same conflict, the one that seemed to push him down more than any fight ever could. he turned away from you, pulling away from your touch, like the very act of letting someone in was too much for him to bear. his back was tense, the way he faced the railing, staring out at the city, as if it held the answers he couldn’t bring himself to say.

you stood there, frozen for a moment, the heaviness of the silence swallowing everything around you. it was like you could feel the truth sitting between you, taunting both of you. you felt you were everything but someone he could trust.

"okay, then forget it," you said, your voice flat, emotionless, turning on your heel and beginning to walk away. there was a coldness in your tone, one you hadn’t intended but couldn't stop, it was your defense. "you have your computer now, i’m going home. call me whenever you can talk to me again."

with every step you took, you could feel his absence growing louder in the space between you, like a distant cry. but the hurt was there too, because in that moment, he wasn’t opening up to you, wasn’t trusting you even after you did. he was leaving you alone, just like how all the other people did whenever you got too close.

he now felt as if his whole world was crumbling apart, as if his mind was deteriorating. how could he be spider-man if he couldn’t trust the person he loves most. he wanted to, it was all he needed. you could comfort him in a way no one could, not aunt may, not his best friend, not stark. it was you.

in that moment, it was like the universe itself nudged him forward, pushing him toward you. he didn’t know how, but it was almost like you two were meant to be there for each other. a kind of destiny. it was the canon.

his instincts screamed at him to just trust, just do it. he could feel the weight of everything pressing on him, but this? this was the leap of faith he needed to take. it wasn’t just about being spider-man. it was about being with you. because you made him who he was.

if it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t be watching those cheer practices, admiring you from afar behind a school building, where a radioactive spider bit him.

without thinking, his hand shot out, his web-shooter firing the moment his fingers curled. the sticky webbing latched onto your wrist, and in a swift motion, he yanked you back toward him, pulling your body into his. your feet barely had time to react before he was standing there.

you gasped as you stumbled toward him, your eyes wide in surprise, but he held you firmly, his grip around your waist gentle but strong.

spider-man was standing right in front of you, and he was yang jungwon. the man who saved you countless of times was him. you swallowed, still trying to process everything, your heart pounding in your chest. he's been spider-man this whole time. it felt like the world was spinning a little. yet in this moment, standing so close to him, you could feel how real it all was. how much he trusted you now, how much he cared. and maybe that was enough to make everything else make sense.

“you…” the words came out of your mouth, still not being able to grasp what was happening.

“uh huh,” jungwon smiled, pulling you in. he closed the space between you, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was soft, but full of all the things he couldn't say out loud. you leaned into him, your hand resting against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingertips.

his hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, and you let him, melting into the kiss as everything else was nonexistent. the only thing that mattered was him, and the moment, and how it felt like all the pieces had finally come together. the person you'd always known, the person who'd been protecting you, he was yours. and you were his.

when you both finally pulled back, breathless and looking at each other with that same wonder, you spoke, "you’re spider-man.”

jungwon had playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "shut up," he laughed softly, clearly amused by your reaction. but there was something else in his eyes-something needy and endearing. before you could say anything more, he pulled you in for another kiss, this one more urgent, more intense. it was like he couldn't help himself, like all the unsaid things were pouring out in that moment, and you couldn't have stopped him even if you wanted to.

there was no more space between you, no more secrets. just him, and the undeniable truth of this.

after the kiss, you both pulled away, as the quiet of the city buzzed around you. for a moment, you just stood there, trying to steady your breathing, the world seeming to spin a little slower.

finally, you broke the silence, your voice playful but filled with wonder. "so... how does it feel to swing from building to building everyday, mr. spider?" you asked, your eyes sparkling with curiosity. "i mean, doing that all the time has to be pretty amazing, right?"

“mr. spider? seriously?” jungwon chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he met your gaze. "you wanna find out?" he asked, his voice low and teasing.

you raised an eyebrow, a mix of excitement and hesitation bubbling up in your chest. "wait, you’re serious?" you asked, half-laughing, half-nervous.

he nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "yeah, why not? i mean, you already know what i am. i already saved you too, might as well show you the real thing."

you blinked, stunned by how casually he said it, but the thrill in his eyes made your pulse quicken. this is it. this is insane, and incredible.

“come on, we can even listen to some music while we swing, that one song you really like, the sunflower one, okay? it’ll be awesome,” jungwon grinned.

"okay," you said, laughing a little in disbelief. "let's do it."

before you could even process it fully, jungwon’s hand slipped into yours, and he pulled you toward the edge of the rooftop. you looked down, the city below you sprawling out, but all you could focus on was him.

"hold on tight, spider-woman," he said, a grin spreading across his face as you hugged his body. without another word, his web-shooter fired, a thread of webbing shooting out into the night. you felt the familiar tug of the swing as he leaped off the edge, pulling you both into the air. the wind rushed around you, your heart hammering as you swung from one building to the next.

you couldn’t help but laugh, the sound echoing in the open air as the city’s lights blurred around you. this is real. this was him. you were flying through the city, with the boy you knew better than anyone, but who you were just beginning to truly love.

!

meanwhile, deep beneath the city, in the winding corridors leading up from the subways and beneath the looming shadow of fisk tower, something sinister was taking shape.

"how long will it take?" a tall, burly man asked, his sharp eyes scanning the room as he observed the scientists working tirelessly. they were building something enormous, a machine unlike anything seen before, encased in a translucent crystal that shimmered ominously in the dim light.

the woman in charge, her glasses perched on the edge of her nose, adjusted them with a flick of her hand. "we don’t know exactly," she replied, her voice steady but laced with a sense of urgency. "it could take years, but once complete, the collider will work. it’ll bring your family back, i promise."

the man, known only as kingpin, didn’t respond immediately, his cold eyes narrowing as he took a step closer to the massive machine. "it better work, doctor octavia," he growled, his voice low and menacing. "or you know what will happen."

just as the threat hung in the air, a figure emerged from the shadows behind him. dressed in all black, the prowler’s presence was both intimidating and lethal. the tension in the room heightened as he unsheathed his claws, their sharp edges gleaming under the dim lights.

"y-yes, mr. kingpin," the scientist stammered, clearly rattled by the appearance of the prowler. "i’m positive it will work. we’re making progress. it’s just a matter of time."

kingpin’s gaze never wavered from the machine, his expression cold and unreadable, as the prowler's menacing figure loomed silently beside him.

TAGS: @jiiyen @yjwxfxr

NOTE: raise your hand if you want whatever this is to continue, please please pleaseeeee, i’m way too invested in this, i rlly wanna include spiderman atsv

EXTRA:

masterlist.

prev chapter.

next chapter.

all chapters.

[banamine-bananime]

ok embarrassing myself thoroughly admitting i just block out important questions about my favourite character while rotating her in my mind because thinking hard. but i think i need to finally come to a Decision of what tex knew before ct redpilled her (sec. Matrix not MRAs). what paralyzes me is the multiple angles that need to be considered

what makes sense given any narrative clues we've gotten? what makes sense given how she was created and what we know of other fragments? what makes sense for tex's character to think and act/react in the ways she did? what makes sense for the the director to have told her in explanation of whichever memories she does have/if she knew she was in a robotic body? what is most meaningful thematically with tex's arc? what makes the most interesting story, more broadly?

IT'S A LOT and i shortcircuit and instead say 'well it was definitely fucked-up. whatever it was. anyways now she's a cowbuoy messing around having adventures in space free of pfl yayyyyyy :))'

did she know she was an ai in a robotic body? whether that be thinking she was a typically-made smart ai or knowing she fragmented from alpha but not knowing about what happened to him afterwards. (i do not believe the later is possible but i could very much see her thinking she's a non-fragmental smart ai)

did she remember being allison/think of herself as allison before developing a separate identity when she lost faith in pfl? or did she have fragmented memories she filled in with a totally different life?

did she remember dying and know she was, in some way, brought back? whether she thinks that's as a smart ai, by some other wild mad science, or that she had instead been comatose

did she remember allison's relationship?

if so, did she know the director was that guy?

did she remember allison having a child?

if so, did she know carolina was that child? (for me this is the only other one i say a definitive 'no' to, but maybe some of you feel differently?)

i'm very interested how other people think about these. i have a couple i feel make the most sense but please please tell me your texas thoughts

[cabinofimagines]

Near Death Experience

I changed the text a bit from the request, but this is what worked for me! Pairing: Poly!Fierrochase x gn!reader, Alex Fierro x reader x Magnus Chase Request: Uh, hi. This is my first request so i don't know how to start, but can you make a poly!Fierrochase one? Maybe add a little bit of angst where the reader nearly dies in the mortal realm but suddenly Sam takes the reader to Valhalla (Sorry i suck at spelling cuz English id my second language) but Alex and Magnus doesn't know that and sobs themselves to sleep and becomes a lil' depressed until they see the reader at breakfast the next morning? If you can ily and thank you! If you can't it's fine and thank you and ily regardless :) Word count: 1.1k Warnings: mentions of death etc. -Asnyox

The day had started just fine, you were hanging with your lovers for most of it, going on a date. It wasn’t much of a date, as you three mostly decided to walk around Boston for the day. Away from Hotel Vahalla, away from other friends or duties at the Chase place. However neither of your lovers had expected to find you, passed out, after saying goodbye. 

Sam had been the way to inform them. Apparently you were caught off guard when you were making your way back to the Chase place, and you had been lucky enough to have stumbled upon Sam afterwards. Magnus couldn’t move fast enough to your location, and somehow he had felt like he had been too late, even if you were still alive, but unconscious. 

“Look, if I had been around-” Magnus started but Alex gripped his shoulder. 

“You weren’t,” Alex glared at Magnus, “You couldn’t have been! So don’t fucking blame yourself when you better worry about (Y/n).” Alex took a shuddering breath, “I will not grief- let you grief when they’re not yet dead.” She had been holding on, keeping up her appearance thus far, but it was crumbling. Alex sighed, holding back the tears she could feel behind her eyes, “Just focus on regaining energy, maybe they need more healing.” 

Magnus wasn’t a stranger to losing a loved one, but it had become rarer. He knew now that he could heal people, and that’s all you needed to get round, right? When he was around pain wouldn’t last long- yet somehow he hadn’t been enough to heal you. There weren’t any physical wounds, but why hadn’t you woken yet? Magnus wasn’t entirely stunned- he had noticed that when he tried to heal you, he hadn’t caught any glimpses of your memories and consciousness. Magnus normally didn’t have control over it happening, but when bringing one back from the brink of death if had always happened, and yet, with you, it hadn’t. Were you too far gone? Or did Magnus know you too well to need to catch your memories?

Alex didn’t want to face the reality- the fact that even in this world of gods, you might die. Alex had seen the impossible happen again and again, yet right now the possibility of losing you seemed so real. And she didn’t face any of this- not yet, not when you were still breathing. She wouldn’t mourn, cry, panic until you were truly six feet under. She had to be strong, she’s always had to be strong. 

It took you three days to wake up. Throughout these days you were never alone, Magnus and Alex took shifts, barely able to put up with the other while you were struggling. It wasn’t t that they blamed each other- it was their own inabilities to face their feelings and be vulnerable while you weren’t yet gone. You wouldn’t be gone is what they both wanted to believe, but crying over your unconscious form together was too close to admitting the dire situation. There was strength in denial. 

And then your eyes shifted, your mouth felt dry but your body didn’t hurt. You were uncomfortable- that was sure, but as you tried to move your arm to rub your eyes you were met with resistance. As you stretched your hand you notice another hand holding it tightly. Softly, you heard Magnus���s voice whisper your name, and you wanted to respond but it came out as a groan. The warmth- oh, the hand holding yours had been sweaty- left your hand, and you moved your fingers, bringing your arm to your face and finally rubbing your eyes, ridding it of some grub that had seemed to keep them closed. 

As you opened your eyes the room seemed too bright, and for a second you considered you had, somehow, arrived in Heaven. But, luckily, Magnus’s face disproved that theory. 

He helped you up, and at the same time Alex made his way into the room, carrying a tray. As his eyes looked at you, he moved quickly, putting down the tray next to your bed and helping Magnus to sit you up. 

As you drank your water, Alex realized he had been crying. He no longer needed to be strong, because you were back and breathing. There were still things to worry about but your imminent death had passed- and that allowed him the breather he needed to feel the emotions he had been denying himself for the past few days. 

Your glass was discarded- whether by your own hands or by Alex grabbing it as you finished neither of you know, but you are quickly engulfed in a hug. 

“Never do this again.” Alex demanded but you knew you couldn’t promise it, so you simply hummed in response. Magnus hesitantly joined the hug, not wanting to overwhelm you as you had just recovered, but he didn’t want to stay back either. After a moment you broke apart, although neither of your lovers let go of you entirely. Alex had unexpectedly kept his hand on yours, while Magnus had moved to sit next to you on the bed, entangling his arm with yours. 

“Sam said she didn’t know what got you,” Magnus said, staring at you unwaveringly, “but for some reason my healing didn’t work afterwards. Do you remember?” Your brain was still lacking any comprehensive thought, so you simply shook your head. You genuinely didn’t remember what happened, but it might come back to you. Magnus sighed, but did not press. He had hoped that maybe there was a reason, a simple ‘Oh this Norse creature cancels out healing magic’ but there wasn’t one. Yet, somehow he didn’t find himself caring too much, as he could feel your breath next to him.   It had been a bad time for your lovers, but they would get over it sooner rather than later. You hoped this would be the last time such a thing would happen, but you could never know, and in Valhalla your lovers were face to face with death every day, and eventually you would learn to just be grateful for the days that pass without injury. You only live once, after all. 

[k00323896]

Final project for assemble -23 december

To conclude my study of assemble I decided to make a recipe book as my final piece.

This recipe book would contain an assembling of my favourite desserts or desserts i have fond memories of making.

I assembled these recipes by speaking to people close to me that can bake and also looking back on my childhood and picking ones that meant the most to me.

Page 1 - 🍓Strawberry muffins🍓

My mother writes down all the recipes she knows in a big notebook, she has done since she was little. I remember one of the first recipes I made with her was from that notebook and it was muffins!

Being younger meant i wasnt allowed to do much but i was instructed with mixing all the ingredients and preparing the cases for the batter, that happy feeling you felt as a kid when you were trusted to do something important is portrayed by the little cat doodles throughout the recipe pages. In a sense it is symbolising the childish feelings i felt while making these desserts.

Page 2 - 🍉Hwachae🍉

Making Hwachae was a more recent recipe I discovered over the summer with my friends. We saw it being made on TikTok and instantly wanted to try it as we were having such warm weather at the time.

A mistake i made while making this recipe was scooping out too much watermelon from the bottom which led mine to leaking a little. This led to laughter and a hurried effort to eat the dessert before we wasted anymore!

Page 3 - 🍫Chocolate Cake🍫

I have mixed emotions about my experience making chocolate cake. I wanted to surprise my mother one year on her birthday by baking her a cake i think i was 9 or 10 at the time.

Unfortunately I added extra flour instead of yeast and the cake ended up not rising and being inedible, much to my younger selfs disappointment. but the day was saved when we went to the shop to buy a new cake instead, all was not lost! (I haven’t made chocolate cake since but i do enjoy when my family makes it)

Page 4 - 🍰Cake pops🍰

I will always remember my first time making cake pops. It was one of my best friends in primary schools birthday party. She was having it at a bakery school much to the excitement of my friends and I.

We made a lot of delicious desserts that day but my most memorable would have to be the end where we made cake pops. The teacher challenged us to see who could make the best decorated cake pop and you can be sure that was taken very seriously!

We spent the rest of the day decorating the cake pops and afterwards eating those same cake pops while listening to music and exchanging gifts. It was a great day

Page 5 - 🍞Banana Bread🍞

This recipe is another old favourite of my mothers. Its a page in her recipe book that is very worn with traces of finger prints indented into the pages from use.

My mom made banana bread a lot when we were younger for my dad who loved taking some to work with him and always made sure to bring some extra slices for his colleagues too who loved to see him coming with his tuber ware box.

I remember how delighted my sibling and i would be when he’d bring leftovers home and sneak us some under the table before our supper. It tasted delicious every time!

Page 6 - 🧁Chocolate Buns🧁

This dessert was a treat we’d only see at Christmas and important family events throughout the year. Having a big family of relatives meant having gatherings with lots of delicious foods.

I don’t know if this was only my family or if its a normal thing but each of my dads relations would bring one dessert per family. My mom would bring trifle and cheesecake, my aunt would bring her famous oreo cheesecake and chocolate buns (my personal favourite) my uncles would bring sponge cakes and my other aunt would bring muffins and biscuit cake.

Those gatherings were always so lively and i always left with a few extra chocolate buns in tinfoil curtosey of my aunt who knew id be eying them throught the day. Im getting hungry just thinking about it.

All of these recipes i have assembled myself, through drawing out how their made speaking to the people that made them and being taught how to make them.

Having a collection with so many memories and meaning makes me proud of the work I’ve made and that concludes my final assemble project.

[someone-called-efg]

everything i know so far regarding religion and my experiences (big post with a lot of words and some pictures too. i tried doing the image id thing so hopefully i explained it all alright) skip at your own discretion

so, for everything ive made either a comic or drawing, then i'll explain what happened a little more underneath.

~~~

first and foremost before i start, so were on the same page, visits to heaven can occur during the time someone is asleep. this could even happen to you if you see in your dream a recently passed relative (or any passed away relative in general but for the most part it happens when the passing is recent and goodbyes didnt happen for one reason or another) and if it hasnt happened to you personally yet, you probably know someone who's experienced a visit.

with that out of the way, lets get started

---

{ image id: an 8 panel comic. 1st panel shows myself with two others sat around a table, as i joke "God, if this is a sin, strike me down". 2nd panel simply says * later that night * . 3rd panel is in 1st person perspective of me in my dream, opening a door. 4th panel shows that behind the door from panel 3 that God is there floating, his hair/beard flowing into the cloud his head is casually floating on in the middle of the room. 5th panel simply shows a lighting bolt. 6th panel shows me falling through the floor. 7th panel shows me waking up in a state of panic. 8th panel simply says: TLDR: If you call upon him, he'll answer. end id }

this is a comic regarding my first visit. at the time irl i was considering becoming an atheist, so this put a solid halt in that. the reason both people with my in the 1st panel dont really have any defining features is because i was at a psych ward at the time for wanting to unalive, and they make you sign nda's there soo, thats the best i got. in the dream/visit itself i was at home, opening the door from the living room to the porch. and God wasnt just there waiting, they kinda came through the ceiling without breaking it. dont ask me how cuz even i dont know.

---

{ image id: another 8 panel comic so here goes more typing yippee! 1st panel shows God from the side, simply saying "So". 2nd comic shows God turning forward, asking "Are you alright?", as though finishing what they were saying in the 1st panel. 3rd panel shows God an i sat on a couch, and while God looks normal sized, i look tiny by comparison, showing basically the setting. 4th panel is a zoom in on me as i rub the back of my neck, saying "i mean ...". 5th panel simply tldr's what happens as i * proceeds to vent ... a lot * . 6th panel shows God saying nothing, but, they * listens to every word * . 7th panel shows me, clearly upset from venting so much, but also now parched, as i tell God "I'm sorry, I've been talking so much, my throat got dry. Do you have anything I could drink?". 8th panel shows God from the side, for the first time smiling as they say "Of course" and a fridge magically appears at opposite from where i am in comparison to them. end id }

so, not even i really knew what all happened until years lated when i asked God if that visit was a therapy session because all i remembered upon waking up after is the last two panels and afterwards, when my mom and step dad came and told me that the year for earth was 2077 and that the north pole was a desert, then we went and had a mini feast with relatives (and maybe ancestors? idk, there was a fair lot of people and i didnt recognize a lot of them so maybe?) , then i woke up. and if youre going to ask why gods eyes arent visible in this comic when they were visible in that last one, at the time of drawing this comic in particular i didnt feel deserving of him looking at me and smiling, cuz lets face it, were all a bunch of sinners here all trying to do good at least. but at the time if i remember right i had a caffeine addiction to the point i needed 8 coffee/monster energy to get me through the day (4 in the morning + 4 in the afternoon), i since went cold turkey against both.

---

{image id : a 4 panel comic because i finally learned my lesson so i dont have to type as much pog! 1st pannel shows myself and my brother (ftm) stood in Gods temple, and i casually ask "Hey, so, can I reincarnate?". 2nd panel shows god towering over both of us easily, their response is a smile with a "Yeah, sure" as they hold something glowing in their hand that i look into. 3rd panel is glitchy, as it shows a child 1st person perspective, the child is looking down, admittedly a bit overwhelmed while saying "mom, i memember my last life". 4th panel is glitchy as well, this time showing the vague image of a woman reaching out her hand presumably to the child, asking "what do you remember?". end id }

so, for a bit of context, the dream/visit didnt start out like that. it actually started at my great aunts house (who at the time was still alive but died very soon after) it wasnt her house when she was alive, but rather, her house in heaven. my godmother was also there, and i was helping her to remember how to fly because she had forgotten the lesson. so, in total there were 4 people there (my great aunt, my godmother, my brother, and myself) and mid way through me teaching how to fly, another of my brothers teleported into the room and just casually took a seat. after the lesson we went outside and walked around my great aunts heaven house, and when we walked a little ways away there was some kinda conflict, and i simply prayed and the conflict was over within under 10 secs. then as the group of my relatives and i went walking back to my great aunts house, i mentioned to my brother my thoughts of asking to reincarnate soon, and he says to me "why not go right now" and i agree, so we teleported to Gods temple and thats where the comic picks up at. what this told me is that being lgbtqia+ isnt a deadly sin, so any member of the rainbow community isnt going to hell for simply being lgbtqia+, which i see as an absolute win.

~~~

thats the most i got for when it comes to visits, which occur when someone's asleep. but, now, its time to go over a couple visions ive had (and no im not gonna talk about when i died cuz that would be 3 posts in a row, so if you wanna see any of that just check it in your own time) because its just visions, i didnt make comics, but just drawings, which, comics are drawings sure, but not all drawings are comics. and, so i stop rambling, lets get started.

---

{ image id : the great flood. as a man drowns under the fermanent from the quickly rising water level, his soul is outside the fermanent, walking up alongside his dying body, unable to help and can only comfort his souless body by watching it slowly unalive. end id }

when i saw this, i honestly saw at least a dozen others doing this too, i also watched who i could only assume was some past incarnation of myself succumb to the same fate. and for those wondering how a soul can be out when the body is clearly still alive, well, 24 hours before someone dies, their soul's already passed on to the afterlife. where the saying 'dead man walking' comes from, because for those 24 hours, the person's already dead, the rest of the world just doesn't know yet.

---

{ image id : the battle at the end of the world. vegetation is barren from the hills as a giant serpent with black scales and glowing yellow eyes makes its way through the landscape. two angels stand in the foreground, aiming their swords to the heavens, causing a pillar of light thats base covers the two. in the distance, the sky is crimson and the clouds are dark grey almost black. end id }

so. also worth mentioning that when i looked to either side of me, there were armies of God all ready for the greatest battle and ready to take part. needless to say it was overwhelming for a lot of reasons.

~~~

so, thats all really. i could get into the couple times i saw the son of God in visits, but the first time was me in a back room with boxes and he was running by and seemed to be busy and i didnt wanna bother him because of that so i didnt say anything, and the second time we were at this park near my childhood home and i asked him if him and adam are technically in a way brothers and we both ended up laughing causing me to wake up.

~~~

from all this i understand that theres stuff im not allowed to know of my visits for one reason or another, and i kinda figure its so i dont cheat at life. because if i had all the answers, than how else is life supposed to test me.

earth is a school after all, and i at least want my place earned on Gods fridge with a magnet hopefully 🤞

[beautifully-fucked92]

Had psych today.... Talked a lil.

Now have what's called a safety plan for when the extremely bad thoughts kick in.

She said that even though I self harm and have these thoughts she isn't to worried because I already make the choices to not go through with the thoughts today we just put it on paper.

I surprise myself how well I fake being okay. I pulled it off all afternoon. Now I'm drained. Id only they knew what I thought and what I did to feel better.

Full day out tomorrow. Whilst my children and mother will enjoy the day I'll be counting down til I can crawl into bed.

In bed crying as per usual.

I vented yesterday with things I felt at the time and knew I didn't fully mean. It felt good to say it but it wasn't me, if that makes sense. It was the me that hates everything and isn't worthy.

Daddy wants me to stop cutting so he can have free reign on the pain he can inflict on my breasts. There is the part of me that's is like 'of course I'll do anything' then there's the part of me that's like ' it doesn't matter what you do you you'll never be good enough, keep slicing. Deeper and longer.'

I just want to be better. Because if I get better then maybe I can let go of someone and maybe I can stop going back. But then again I won't find someone who will inflict the pain on me that I enjoy, I won't find someone I trust so much.

Whilst I want to get better I also want to give up. Because getting better is hard and I just don't have the energy or motivation to do the hard work.

If I didn't have kids and I was this way I would never leave my bed.

Fuck...

Just fuck...

Suppose i should sleep, big day faking to be normal and ok.

I could use a repeat of my Tuesday well besides me getting in my head. Not just the session but the simplicity and small bits of intimacy afterwards.

I keep seeing this post on FB at the moment.

"We think we want sex.

It's not always about sex.

It's intimacy we want. To be touched, looked at, admired, smiled at and laughed with. To feel safe and feel like someone's really got you. That's what we crave"

Maybe its true. Maybe I want it all. .ah e it's Maybelline.

Sorry could t help myself hahahaha

But I want it all. I want the intimacy and the sex (all the kinks and pain included).

Ha I can wish right?

[voidselfshipp]

self insert asks: 1,2,5 and 7 for your valorant self insert? :3

Hi shallow!!! Thank you so much for the ask!!!! Ill answer n2 after the cut since ive written it out in fic form.

>only mutuals allowed to reblog.

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

Name: Jerico Lazaro Castro.

Age: 20

Codename: Ranger.

Clasification: Radiant.

Date of birth:14/9/ 2022 (Valorant takes place in the near future so...)

Height: 5'6.

Place of birth: Buenos Aires,Argentina.

Gender: Genderfluid (he/they/she/xe)

Orientation: Bisexual.

Family: Wei Ling Yi (Sage,adoptive mother). Biological siblings from biological family. Agent Clove (adopted younger sibling)

->They'd be added after the release of KAY/O and before the release of Chamber.

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

They are a geomancer,they can speak with animals and grow plants! They can partially shape shift by taking on attributes of other animals. They also have a few wild/exotic pets they use un cannon,which have become "Radianized" by being exposed to their powers so much.

7. would any other characters (besides your f/o) have a crush on your self insert?

Its a bit of a tricky question because I selfshipp with half the ensamble of Valorant. But id say that Viper would have a romantic crush on my s/I,and Jett would have a platonic crush.

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Ive written out the scene as a fic!!. Just a quick few things. Cw: mentions of abusive household,implided romance with Cypher and Brim who are way older than me/my s/I.

Also! Vieja can be a term of endearment for Argentine moms. Heres the fic:

Spring had settled on the streets of Buenos Aires. Jacarandas and Ceibo trees in full Bloom as the heavy trunks of the silk floss tree doubled over a little and just about to burst with the silken seeds that usually grow within it.

Sage,Brimstone and Cypher where here to pick up a possible New agent for the protocol. One their healer knew quite well,actually.

Wei Ling still remembered what she had said to her good friend and leader of the protocol,Liam, about this agent.

She had entered his Office with this desicive glint in her eyes and firmly said "Brimstone,I Thought about this possible New threat after Kay/o's arrival. And I think we're going to need a few more Agents if this Omega Earth theory is right ...I happen to have a candidate if youre so inclined"

Liam had the vague inkling where this was going"Who are you proposing..?"

"My child"

--I Feel bad for picking them up today...--Sage sighed,scratching the back of her neck as she walks with her companions down the path of the Bosques of Palermo, a Giant green space In the middle of the capital of the buenos aire's province.

--Well,you are going to offer them this spot on the day of their birthday...--Liam added,patting his friend's back with understanding-- there really was no other time?

"No" thought cypher whom had already gathered all the information there was to know about Sage's kid. Hes had it ever since he joined the protocol "theyre Busy with university afterwards"

--Sadly,No.--Wei Ling shook her head as she spoke-- Maybe I shouldntve said anything,Will the protocol allow them to continue their carreer?

--Online classes should suffice--Cypher perked up-- We shouldnt take away vestiges of their normal life,it would make a mess of their head,specially Someone so young. How old are they turning?

--Twenty -- she answered

--Christ --Breathed out Brimstone as he looked at the ground.--i already have enough with Phoenix,Yoru and Jett.

--I promise you,Jerico is a very well behaved person. --The healer said,putting her hands on the pockets of her sage green sweater-- if anything they'll be a calming force for the other agents.

--Ill take your word on it.

--You can trust me,Ive known them for a while now.

Liam looked at the lushness around him. He wondered if this early setting in of spring had anything to do with Jerico. He knew they were a radiant,but he didnt know much else. He mightve seen a picture once or twice but thats about It.

--I guess I should know this if we're going through with the recruitment--Liam began--Cypher must already know that,being how he is. But how did you end up with a kid?

Sage sighed loudly, the circumstances that brought her wonderful kid to her were an unpleseant memory-- Back before the protocol,the monastery had planned a peregrination here to Argentina. An odd place, at least when I heard about it.

A gentle wind passed through them,the air cold and bringing the faintest scent of sunflowers.

--When we got here I was told we were going to help with the less fortunate here. That my powers would help...-- She continued, noticing the scent and smiling all relaxed. Clearly it brought her comfort for a personal reason-- I noticed this young girl,couldnt be more than fifteen. She was caked in dirt and Grime,and she was starving and hurt on her knee.

--That was Jerico? --Brimstone asked,surprised-- you make it sound like she ran away..

--She did--Sage confirmed-- She...had a really bad family-- the rage on her tone made it sound like "really bad" didnt even begin to cover it-- When I healed her,she said "youre like me", and told me she was a radiant too. I honestly dont remember what came over me but I took her In. Then..stuff happened with the monastery and the protocol found me. Ive been giving some of my money to them to Keep living here,I didnt want them to lose their original culture.

Liam wasnt sure how to react,other than-- You sound very happy to have them. Im..im sure its just the same on their side.

Wei Ling grinned-- yeah,within the first year of me adopting them,they called me mom. I remember I couldve cried that day...I actually think I did.

Brimstone chuckled-- You two are adorable.

Cypher had kept quiet,knowing well the struggles of parenthood. They round a corner as they walk and see a Giant pond before them and on the edge of it, few meters away, were a Group of youngsters enjoying warm drinks and snacks and laughing.

--thats them,im guessing-- The moroccan Man said,pointing at the Group discreetly.

--Yeah,thats them. -- she agreed,watching how all around the Group a few sunflowers grew alongside lillies of the Valley,forget-me-nots and even a few lotusi near the water.

All the while,the Group of youngesters were blissfully unaware of their onlookers. Jerico was enjoying brewing some mate as one of their buddies recalls a story of their childhood.

They hand over the mate and one of their other pals say-- hey,isnt that your mom?--He pointed at the three people to their left.

--Yeah,Guess she came to say hi-- They answered,leaning Back to get a better look since the rest of their Friends were kind of blocking their field of view.

--Seem's we've been spotted--Said cypher with a smile in his voice-- All yours,Mamma Bear.

Sage snorted and shook her head a little before waving.

--¡Vieja!--Jerico called out with a grin,waving at her too and taking her in and her companions.

Their mother wore a cream,fuzzy and oversized turtleneck underneath a pretty sage green sweater with black jeans and comfy shoes. She hears her hair up with a sun hair clip and a few chains around her neck and sun pendant.

--Little dragon!--she answered,seeing her kid excuse themself and her heart warms up her kids Friends smile all happy for Jer.

She meets them half way and brings them in for a tight hug. She smells the scent of sunflowers and green Apple and nuzzles closer. She hasnt seen them for months now.

--What a wonderful surprise!!!--Jer said,gently pulling away a little.

--Couldnt miss my little one's twentieth birthday-- She answered,patting their waist.

--Thank you for coming--They smile-- Do you want some mate? Snacks? -- they look behind her and see two men.

A tall,buff Man with american face features. He wears a red flannel and black jeans with dress shoes and a watch on his left arm. He has a thick bear and a crew cut with white hairs on the sides. In their eyes,hes quite handsome.

Then, Next to him is a thinner Man,face hidden by the heavy hood of his white jacket. Black jeans too and comfortable though stylish shoes. One hand is in his pockets as the other twirls a blue circlet of some kind,they can see the faint shine of blue within the hood like theres just two,weak beacons in there. His air of mystery already feels so alluring.

--Whoooose the company?--They followed up,which made their mom look down at the ground.

--friends from work-- She answered-- I came here to say hi,yes but I also need to tell you something. Walk with me?

Jerico could see the seriousness in her eyes. They knew their mother wouldnt involve her work if it wasnt important,seeing as she wouldnt even tell them much of what she did.

--Yeah,yeah of course ma. Let me tell my Friends

--I need to do the same,go ahead.

After quickly informing their companions of their scapade, mother and child walk down the red tiled path. Sage explains with stuttering words and a heavy feeling of guilt about the insanity going on in her job.

Jerico has to take a moment to process things, but they know their mom wouldnt lie about stuff this big.

Spotted light spills past lush treetops And the wind pushes by frivolously. Theres a brief silence filled with the chatter and life around them.

--I wouldntve asked if it wasnt important. Im sorry to do it today of all days but-

--Vieja,its fine-- they promised,taking her hand-- alr-....Alright. ill help you,of course I will. But what about my classes? My Friends?

--You can continue them online. Ill make sure of that-- she promised-- And you can come visit on breaks just like I do.

--Alright then,Im in.

--Thank you,Thank you so much.

--Anything for you,mom. And...for the world,it seems.

Sage smiled and pressed a kiss to the side of her kids head-- the world,and me, are so lucky to have you.-- she gets a shy giggle in return and dismissive hand gesture. But they know she means it.

Eventually they loop back to the other two valorant agents and Wei Ling introduces her kid to her co-workers.

Both men stare at a young person,female features,Brown and gold hair tied up in a bun with a shaven Back of the neck. Tall,Slender, greyish green eyes and decked out in a punk attire with fishnets, maximalist battle vest,a striped yellow and black skirt with a ripped up croptop and covered in necklaces. One of them is a matching sun pendant, and a well detailed dragonfly

--This is Liam,Our leader. His Codename's Brimstone-- she pointed to the flannel wearing man-- Brim,This is Jerico, my kid.

--Your mom only sings praises about you--He answered,trying to be polite and not stare into their pretty green eyes so much. He shakes their hand.

--Of course she does

--Well,i havent spoken much about you..--Sage admitted,sheepishly-- not out of shame,just for your safety.-- her kid shrugged and she relaxed-- And this...is Cypher.

--Just Cypher? No human name?-- they couldnt help the slight sass and the quirk of their brow.

--I do have one-- says the moroccan Man, is that smirk in his voice?--But thats classified. -- he offered his hand and they took It, a gentle and firm shake.

--I must warn you,Cypher Is an information broker.-- Sage said with dismay

Jerico seems to understand almost instantly--Oh!..oh --they groaned,rubbing their eyes-- Really? The people you work with,Mom.

--Im sorry...

--I promise I keep the information to myself--He sounded apologetic, knowing well that the person infront of them was just a normal youngster. He knows how kind of disturbing and worrying it can be..

--Sure -- they answered with a slight but totally comprehensible suspicion--Well I aint got nothing to hide so.. Just really,Keep it to yourself.

--He does-- promised Sage.

--Im quite a fan of your art,By the way--Cypher offered as an olive branch. He likes their spunk and sass. He cant help but smile as his chest warms up-- Specially your compositions and colors

The mysterious and hot sounding Man likes their art? Damn...what a birthday gift.

--Thanks...--They say with a slight blush-- I uh put a lot of effort in it.

--I can tell, youre quite talented.

What a beautiful smile they have. It could outshine the sun-- thanks!

--Well,I believe we'll let you continue on your birthday-- Sage added-- Is it okay to wait in your appartment?

Jerico nodded--Sure,Just...yknow privacy?

--Of course. Ill make sure your room is out of limits-- their mom answered.

--Alright! Cool. -- they smile and press their cheek against their moms and makes a kissing sound,--See ya then.

They do they same with the two men,having to stand on the tip of their toes for it and off they return to their Friends. Liam feels his face burn a little and even Cypher seems just a little bashful.

--A greeting I suppose?--Asked the information broker.

--Yeah...--Snickered the healer-- You get used to it,I promise. Cmon now..--Though her gaze lingers on the sight of her kid all smiles and laughs.

She hated to drop this on their birthday but it seemed to have little Effect. Thats good.

A few hours later they enter Jerico's appartment, quite normal with white walls and a nice flooring. Though its more of a maximalist's and nerd's dream house. Cypher is unbothered by it as he already knew his co-worker's kid had a love for well.. everything.

Brimstone does look surprised and inspects the kitchen/livingroom area but daring not to tread any further. Sage ends up talking a bit more about her child, and after a quick text asking for permission and gaining the okay she makes some snacks and drinks.

Eventually Jerico returns,late at night mind you but they return. They get fully caught up with the protocol.

And in just a few weeks they find themselves upon the Valorant Protocol's base with a New life and a New purpose to follow.

[forestryfae]

holy fucking shit is it possible to get more self centered. holy shit.

stepmom called at like 22:30 the first time. didnt answer. clear sign to not fucking call again id say given most normal people are asleep by now. called again like ten minutes later and i thought well maybe its an emergency. surely shes not stupid enough to call twice in the evening around most peoples bedtime. <--- said by someone who was once called by her 7 times in half an hour and all they wanted was either a chat or they bought me a lamp at ikea idfr

nope. shes chatting away and shit asking where i am, whether i want to celebrate christmas with them, fully expecting me to let them help me when i move into an apartment.

first of all lmao wtf. im not asking them for fucking help moving my shit, if i did theyd go to sweden that exact day and be like "oh were in sweden right now but we can come by later :)" like they did when we asked them to maybe come help w the house. dad was tasked with contacting a lawyer for me once too, he promised hed do it he knew how horrible i had it and when we got to the meeting w my support team he told me he hadnt done it. 2 months i waited and he just hadnt bothered. btw i got really sick a few days later. fever, exhaustion, the whole thing.

and then shes like "it must be so nice to have your legal guardian and finally have someone who gets stuff done" yeah well dad was useless and mom was actively hindering me from talking to a lawyer and you and dad knew how bad it was but you didnt do shit to help so. thanks for that ig.

btw letting me stay for a week during christmas does not count. i really want to say im grateful but rn i dont feel grateful. im pissed. they knew how bad it was and did fucking nothing. i talked about how bad it was and they did nothing but try to talk down how bad it was, atleast dad. sure, stepmom defended me sometimes but having my dad say the shit he did and acting like it was no big deal living alone in a rotten cold house w two cats while i was severely depressed and utterly isolated and only helping if he felt like it. holy fucking shit. yeah dude atleast its getting taken care of i fuvking guess. being a parent doesnt stop when your kid turns 18 and if you marry a dude w kids you cant just. not talk to the kids if it doesnt suit you

and shes asking for all this info about where i am and so on and i just gotta lie. i dont wanna have to argue with a grown ass woman at nearly 11 pm and tell her i straight up dont want them to know cus theyve been utterly useless at all times except like. two times. dad fixed some electrics and i got to stay for christmas and thats it. ive been driven home after shopping sure but whose fucking fault is it i dont have a license? could unsupportive parents who offer to help but dont ever let me drive be part of the problem? could the lack of legal help and effort be a part of the problem?

and obvs im answering in single words and the occasional sentences cus im fucking annoyed and trying not to be rude but shes chatting away about shit she has no business knowing or getting involved in at almost 11 pm. so the call ends w her asking if im sad cus i "sound so sad" like no im not sad. tell her im not sad. she said something afterwards i dont remember but i did wind up saying that "well its kind of really late to call someone at 10:30 in the evening" and she starts. going on about how she just really missed me and missed talking to me and at this point internally im just fuming. she called that late at night just to chat? is she fucking stupid?

like its not bad enough the only times i ever get called is when theyre bored in the car and need entertainment so i have to sit there listening to my own voice echo out of their handsfree while the mic is garbling their voices so bad i can barely tell wtf theyre saying over the sound of traffic. and now shes calling in the middle of the night tol cus her emotional need is too important to let people sleep

[sappygentlemen]

HEY GUYS. IM BACK. WITH THE ACTUAL FINALE TO THE BELOVED BASEMENT DWELLER ‼️🤓

A breath of fresh air

Hours later ☝️🤓‼️

It has been weeks since the death of Declan Malouff.

Though he was improving,Quincy was in shambles. he was trying to stay strong for me, I could tell. Nate had been working nonstop as usual, and well, I was. Useless. I hadn't been to work since Declans death, I sat at home, practically on auto pilot. It was like I didn't know what freedom felt like anymore; before Declan had died, I lived in half peace. I felt freedom, the same way a kid feels free when they run down the road, despite being under careful watch of their parents. I felt like I was still tied to him, and that somehow made freedom sweeter, the taste of rebellion was like fruit on my tounge. Now that Declan was dead, I was beside myself. I continued life as normal, but I barely smiled anymore, I didn't laugh or talk non-stop anymore, I was stuck in the shock. Nate had offered to take me outside several times, but I always refused and stayed home. I refused to leave my little hermit shell, well, until today. I promised Nate I would at least TRY to go on a walk with him today.

Nate has been holding my hand this entire time. We're Currently walking through the park, the one with the botanical garden that I loved so much. Nate knew all my favorite places, which was one of the things I loved so much about him. He was always so caring towards me, but despite that, I couldn't seem to stop second guessing myself all day. As if I was walking on a tight rope, trying to balance and walk around the elephant between us. The death of Declan. My past. Who I was when I was with Declan. Everything. I knew that what I did during that time, was influenced heavily by Declan, who repeatedly told me that's what real lovers do for each other, but deep down, I knew murder was wrong, no matter what. I was lost in thought as we walked through the garden, before Nate grabbed my shoulder gently. I Flinched at his touch, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Sam.. I hope you know I'm here for you. No matter what happened back then, I'm here with you."

I took a sharp breath. Afterwards, For once, I exhaled, holding back a sob of relief. It might not seem like much, but his words, and the endearing look in his eyes, meant everything to me. It was like taking a million bricks off my chest.

"...I know.. I'm just.. a little shook up still."

"Sam... It's okay. I just need you to know that... Um.. well . I love you Sam. And I know you're still healing so, don't feel pressured to say it back, but I just thought you should know I'm always here for yo-"

I choked back a sob, catching Nate off guard as I grabbed him and held him close. As if he would run away if my grip slipped. Id never been loved before, and this was scary, but if it was Nate, I was happy to try. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, leaning down to hold him as he patted my back slowly, as my tears soaked his shoulder

"I love you too.. I think? Sorry.. I'm still figuring the whole love thing out with the therapist. But. I think I love you"

"and that's enough for me. Just focus on healing for now, we've got our whole lives ahead of us Sam"

As those words left his mouth, I finally let go of all the tension in my body, relaxing for the first time in years. Taking in a breath of fresh air.

:) THE END

[finelinevogue]

What if a security guard wouldn’t let you back in the arena if you went out to get something. And they didn’t believe that you were harrys gf and just thought you were a crazy fan

oooh it’s been done before but here’s my version!! ;

You were running late.

It was already 7pm and you were only getting out of your car in the car park. Harry was due to be on stage in an hour and you hadn’t even seen him yet. The traffic around Dallas today has been awful. Chocker block. You’d been with Harry all day, up until 3 hours ago when he had to leave the hotel to come to the stadium for rehearsals. Normally you’d go with him, but you were so tired that you wanted a little nap before coming. The problem here was you overslept.

There were no Ubers available and a taxi would be far too expensive at this time, so you drive in Harrys car instead. You’d been following Harry on tour in his car, so when you get to different destinations you can go out on ball day trips if you want to without the obscenity of a huge tour bus or paying for Ubers everywhere. It was the main reason you were so tired though, travelling across country and into different time zones. It would be so much easier if this was the UK.

You grabbed your purse and your jacket, locking the car as you got out and started running for the backstage entrance. It was easy to make it there and you noticed security guards already standing there.

“Hi!” You smiled, slightly short of breathe. You were about to move past them when one of them shoved your shoulder back, making you stumble back unbalanced. “Wha—”

“ID and backstage pass to get through here.” One of them said, looking you up and down as if you were nothing.

If anything, you were quite shocked on how they just treated and continued to treat you. Normally, Harry would show a picture of you to these backstage security guards to make sure you’d be able to get in no problem, but it seemed like today Harry might’ve forgotten to show that photo. This was going to be a problem for you, because you’d forgotten to bring your backstage pass.

“I normally just go through? I’m Harry’s girlfriend.” You tried talking your way around the situation, not appreciating behind held up so close to show-time.

“Oh you’re Harry’s girlfriend? You must be the 7th one we’ve met tonight.” The security guy laughed and so did his friend, making your blood boil with how annoying they were being. Harry would be so pissed if he heard the way they were treating you.

“No but I actually am.”

“Then, ID and backstage passes.” One of then held out his hand whilst the other crossed his arms over his chest to make him look intimidating. Dickheads.

“I have ID just not the backstage passes.” You answered honestly, holding out your ID for them to check. They collected it and asked you questions on it, you answering them all perfectly.

“Well you definitely know you, but you have no proof you’re supposed to be where you claim to be.” They handed you back your ID and you huffed in stress.

“Well what can I show you? Photos of me and Harry together? Text messages?” You waved your arms around, getting really pissed off that this was actually happening. You’d probably miss Jenny’s whole set because of this and then 15 minutes before show-time Harry gets transported under the stage. So you only really would have half and hour with him, and that’s just not enough time. You wanted a safe and warm hug off him. You wanted a kiss. You just wanted him.

“Everyone knows they can be photoshopped.” One of the guys scoffs at your notion.

“Listen. You either show us your backstage pass or we’ll escort you off site.” The other one says a lot more firmer this time. It made you quite anxious for what you’d do if they did that - or maybe when they did that.

“Well I don’t have the backstage passes.” You sighed, rolling your eyes at the way this was going to end.

“Then let’s go.” One of them pointed to where you came from and to the car park, stepping forwards as he did so.

“I’m not leaving until you let me through those doors. My boyfriend is waiting for me.” You answered, taking a step back in stress of what they might do.

“Harry ain’t your boyfriend. Now let’s go!” They stepped forwards again and reached for you.

You swung your bag at one of them, hitting him in his side and he grunted because of the impact of your water bottle with his chest. The other one grabbed your arm and you couldn’t shake him, since you were not trained in any way for situations like this at all. His fingers dig into your skin and it made you scream out a cry, trying to kick him in any way to escape. The other one recovered ever ordered the guy holding you to escort you away whilst he stayed and guarded the door. The one holding you tugged your arms behind your body and held them tight there, it really fucking hurting. He didn’t care though and continued to walk you, asking you where your car was so he could get you out of here.

Once you reached your car he let you go and you wrapped your arms around you as he walked away again, not verbally saying anything but his eyes saying enough. Stay away. You shakily got your keys out of your bags and unlocked your door, climbing in and just sitting there. You could feel your hands really shaky and achy. Looking down with tear clouded eyes, you saw the red marks over your arms and slight bruising already. Your arms and shoulders hurt from being bent in an uncomfortable position.

You cared less about the pain though and how much of a disappointment of a girlfriend you were going to be to Harry. He was going to think either the worst for you or the worst of you. You reached in your bag on your lap for your phone, throwing your bag on the seat next to you afterwards. You wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your t-shirt and unlocked your phone to text messages, sending Harry a quick text.

To Harry: Are you free to call? x

No response. You sat there for a few minutes in silence, still shook up and teary. That had been a really awful situation to be in and you hated that you were nowhere near Harry to fix it. Your phone vibrated 3 minutes later, finding a text message from Harry. You sighed and felt safe when you saw his icon light up your notifications, knowing he was in contact with you.

From Harry: Of course, you okay? xx

You didn’t open your phone because you didn’t know how to respond. How do you tell him you’re not okay, only 20 minutes before he’s meant to be ready to go on stage? You didn’t want to worry him, but you also didn’t want him thinking you were a terrible girlfriend either.

Another vibration.

From Harry: Lovie? xx

Your eyes watered at that simple word, meaning so much more to you than five letters. It made you feel so much comfort, you only wished you could get that hug and a kiss now.

Again.

From Harry: Love, you’re worrying me now.

From Harry: Let me face-time you, hang on.

His icon lit up the screen; Incoming…

You shakily accepted, wiping your eyes quickly before. When he answered you could tell he was still in his dressing room, sat on the sofa that you wish you were also sat on with him. He looked so beautiful. His hair was perfectly styled and he was wearing a pearl coloured silk shirt and you knew he was wearing white silk pants to co-ordinate. You thought he looked ethereal. A glowing beacon of hope and beauty.

He didn’t say anything to you at first and you nothing to him. He just looked at you and instantly knew something bad was up. He kept eye contact with you and it was as if he was having a telepathic conversation with you, understanding that you needed him and just him.

“Hey, Mitch man?” Harry asked, turning his head to somewhere else in the room. “Could y’just give me a minute. Please.”

“Sure, sure.” Mitch answered and all you could hear was the sound of shuffling and the door shut. As soon as he was gone you started crying all over again. You cupped your hand over your eyes and your body shook as you just cried. Harrys heart broke that you were alone and he couldn’t hug you close to his chest.

“Y/N, baby. Look at me.” He asked urgently and you just shook your head, embarrassed that this was happening to you. “You’ll be alright lovie, I promise. Just look at me, beautiful.” You moved your hand away from your face and wiped your eyes and nose to try and make you look slightly better - not that it helped. “There’s my pretty girl.”

You smiled. He smiled.

“I-i’m so-rry H.” You whispered, sniffling in between words because of how shaky you felt.

“Hey, no. None of that. It’ll be okay.” He reassured you, keeping eye contact with you to try and decipher what was wrong. “Where are you, lovie? You’re in the car, yeah?” Harry asked, recognising your surroundings but you could get anywhere. You could have been in an accident for all he knew, but he was remaining calm so he didn’t send you into a panic.

“Yeah. In the stadium car park.” You saw Harrys eyes momentarily light up at that, before he remembered that you weren’t okay.

“Okay. Tell me why you’re upset, love. Help me understand.” He sounded urgent, just wanting to know so he could help you out. He wanted you to be okay. He wanted you with him.

“The security guards wouldn’t let me in, backstage I mean. I didn’t have my backstage pass. But..” You choked on a sob and Harry told you to just breathe. You were okay. “One of them g-grabbed me and escorted m-me of sight.”

“Baby, are you hurt? Is that why you’re upset?” Harry asked, standing up now in panic. His face looked angry, but you could tell he was trying his best to be a comfort for you. “Y/N?”

“Y-yes. Yes Harry, yes.” You voice wobbled out and you let out an exasperated sob. “I’m s-sor—”

“No don’t you dare. Don’t apologise for this. Not ever. You understand me?” He made very clear he wasn’t messing around.

“Yes.” You nodded.

“Alright. Now, you gotta be strong for me okay?” He asked, before asking, still checking that you were okay. He knew you would be though, because you were his bravest girl ever - stronger than you knew.

“Okay.”

“You’re going to make your way back to the backstage entrance, alright? I am going to be there, before you get there. Those security guards won’t be there I promise. You’ll be okay. Can you do that for me?” He asked, moving around the room and then out of the door. He was walking down the corridors, ignoring the people shouting his name. He was only focused on you.

“Yes. Okay.” You nodded, wiping under your nose again.

“I love you.” He kissed the camera of his phone, looking like he was kissing you instead.

You returned the gesture, kissing him virtually back. “I love you.”

He told you that it’d be alright and then ended the call, explaining how you didn’t need to hear him get angry when he found these security guards. They would be fired even if they weren’t on his tour crew, he’d make sure of it. You made your way back to the backstage entrance again, slowing down before you rounded the corner. Taking a deep breathe you walked around and were met with exactly what Harry promised; him.

You smiled and broke out into a run to get to him, your bag weighing on your shoulder. Once you reached him your bag was thrown on the floor in front of him and you jumped into his arms. He lifted you up to sit you around his waist, keeping his arms tight around your waist and squeezing the biggest hug out of you. Your arms tightened around your boyfriends neck and you buried your face into his neck, and god he smelt like everything homely and sweet. He felt just like home.

“See, you’re alright now lovie.” He assured you, kissing your cheek that wasn’t quite buried into his neck.

“Th-ank you.” You muttered, kissing his neck in appreciation which made him hum in delight. He tasted so hot and lush. He was insatiable. You then felt him start kissing your arms, where the harsh red and purple marks were.

“Sorry y’had to go through this.” He kept kissing your arms, until you moved your head up and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“If I can’t say sorry, then neither can you.” You shook your head, kissing his nose softly. You watched his eyes flutter close and felt so special that only you could do that to him.

“You’re so amazing Y/N. Truly.”

“You’re pretty special too, my love.”

He didn’t need to hear anything else from you, those words were enough, so he pressed his lips to yours softly, filling you with the love you’d been waiting to feel all day. You smiled into the kiss and he just felt so amazing. He was so soft and gentle with you - as smooth as the silk that dressed his body. He was so pretty to watch melt away under your spell and delicious tasting. Strawberries, was that?

He was everywhere. He was everything. He always would be.

[bamberry]

Sentibubbler spoilers;

Oh fuck yeah time to do a short-ish analysis/thoughts on this part right here. Yes - Chat Noir destroying a chimney. The most important 14 seconds EVER.

Watch the video so you can understand what I’m saying.

—-

Let’s start here, it’s obvious. A plan for two people. Rena plus Ladybug plus Chat Noir does not equal two people. He knows this. And he knows he’s not part of the plan. He lacks context and is told to just wait for further instruction by someone he barely knows.

He doesn’t know Rena Rogue very well, but he knows Ladybug trusts her. And at first it wasn’t something Chat Noir was ever worried about. Because if his lady trusts them, so should he. Plus, Rena wasn’t someone who he felt threatened by. Until recently..

Adrien already believes he’s someone who is replaceable (no matter how many times Ladybug tells him otherwise).

And he’s given up the miraculous for that very reason. Because he felt as if he wasn’t enough. Because he felt like somebody else could do it better.

But regardless of all that, Adrien loves being Chat Noir, he loves being Ladybug’s partner. Because even after it all

Ladybug still kept him in the loop. She told him as much of the truth as she could. He felt assured enough that she trusted him as much as he trusted her.

Until she started keeping him out of the loop. Until she started hiding more and more things from him, causing a strain on their relationship. That’s been pretty noticeable this season. And then what? Another hero starts swooping in? Okay no big deal. Then The hero,who’s not been around that long, starts knowing more than you do? Okay… it’s a little worrisome. How about the Ladybug and this hero successfully purifying an Akuma without your help? Well shit am I really needed?

Now suddenly you’re being left out of plans and are told,not by ladybug, but by this hero you know NOTHING about?

ID BE A LITTLE FRUSTRATED TOO.

Because who is this hero I know nothing about to tell me that I just have to stay put and give no explanation as to why?

He’s angry, he’s upset,not because of the new hero. Because he doesn’t know what’s going on. He doesn’t have any way to convey is frustration. He doesn’t have an Alya like Marinette or a father who’s (totally not trying to kill him five minutes afterwards) not any sort of support.

But the way he reacts, the way he chose his words. Something about it made it, familiar. Because if you switch the image and keep the text. It’s very..chat blanc of him to say . Just to keep it in mind.

A reaction was expected. But this? Was not. Lashing out is not something he normally does. Destroying things is not something he would do. This is suppose to invoke a reaction from the audience.

Chat Noir breaking a chimney because he’s angry and frustrated is supposed to make you worried. It’s suppose make you feel sorry for him.

And It should scare you.

It’s suppose to.

Look at his face. He doesn’t look like he feels as guilty about it as he should or normally would. At least from my perspective, he didn’t look like felt guilt at ALL.

Not to mention the dramatic/classic I just did villainous thing music in the background. That was there for a reason!! He looked more annoyed at the fact there was a mess than anything else. I feel like, this won’t be the last time he acts out like this.

He crosses his arms and turns away from what he just did. Maybe one could say this is the guilt. He’s obviously still really upset. But it’s not his action that raises concern. It’s what he says.

GO AHEAD. AFTER THIS YOU CAN TELL ME THAT IM THINKING TOO MUCH INTO IT.

So, you might be thinking? Well this is common knowledge, we the audience knows the miraculous fixes everything.

Well yes, everyone knows this. But it’s the fact Chat Noir knows this and doesn’t care. Because it’s going to be fixed. So why dwell on it? Who cares right?

It’s not like anything he’ll do is permanent because the miraculous ladybug will fix it anyways

He didn’t say Ladybug. Didn’t say his lady, he said the miraculous ladybug.

Raise the alarms 🚨

Because this is exactly what drove Chat Blanc during the Chat Blanc episode.

His need, his want for the ladybug miraculous because he knew it’d fix everything. He knew it could grant him the wish he wants.

And this is all he wants. He wants his Lady to love him. He wants to fix everything and he doesn’t want anything to change between them. He wants to go back to the time where it was just them.

Oh? Well shit doesn’t that sound familiar. And what a coincidence that Chat Blanc reappears in this same episode?

Anyways Shit is gonna hit the fan and I don’t think any of us are ready for it. Could’ve looked too deep into it. Could’ve missed a couple things. But I don’t think this scene was suppose to go unnoticed.

[ooooo-mcyt]

For real though watching yhs has lead me to the conclusion that despite Grian seemingly has such an active fight instinct....most of the time he actually doesnt respond to situations with half the fight attributed to him.

When faced with a traumatic situation Grian will absolutely bare his teeth at the nearest threat. He's absolutely vitriolic towards Sam at all times without fail and has even initiated physical violence in their confrontations once or twice. He's often on edge, often quick to angry outbursts, just overall rather hostile when faced with a dangerous/frightening/harmful situation. Which definitely indicates his main response to these scenarios is to fight. Hard.

However the more I engaged with fanon the more I faltered. A lot of fanon does portray him as very hostile in the face of trouble. Which should make sense. Canonically Grian knows when to say no, when to argue, and even sometimes when to physically fight back. Any episode with Grian present will likely have examples of him pushing back against harmful situations. And yet something always feels very Off about that being the start and end of it in a lot of fanon. Which led me down an interesting line of thinking.

I honestly suspect that Grian's volatility and will to fight back isn't nearly as strong as one would believe from observing him on surface level. In fact, his on the surface hostility feels like it's borderline a facade altogether to be honest.

I mean look at examples throughout canon of Grian in distressing situations.

Yhs halloween episode. The one where Taurtis got stabbed. And the following situation where Grian is famously forced to dress up like Taurtis. Grian would later be very upset about Sam stabbing Taurtis, however his initial response was to nervously laugh and even give Sam appeasing praise. I mean, Grian says "you weren't supposed to stab him" pretty clearly, but he anxiously laughs before and afterwards and even tells Sam he's proud of him when prompted. Obviously Grian was very upset about the whole thing later on after taking Taurtis to the hospital however in the moment he's mostly silent and when he's not he's just nervously laughing throughout, even agreeing with whatever *Sam* says when he's outright prompted by name for an opinion, then when everyone else tries to play it off casually Grian actually goes along with it almost entirely, even agreeing to let Taurtis drive him home for some reason. Then, according to his own story, he had an opportunity to talk to police at the hospital and he didn't incriminate Sam. He knew they were supicious of *him* but he still didn't incriminate the actual killer. "I told them I found him like that" Grian alleged. Honestly it sounds like he didn't tell them much of *anything* before being released and making the walk back to meet Sam. The next morning Grian was significantly more vocally upset about Taurtis being stabbed and expressed being upset with Sam however he seemed significantly more anxious than he was angry throughout the interaction. Then Grian immediately pretty readily agreed to go with Sam and Yuki to school and willingly put on the Taurtis outfit before the other's even started with the threats in the name of making things 'less awkward'. He certainly objected, however he was once again a lot more anxious than angry, nervously laughing, coming up with really weak unimportant excuses, and agreeing within ten seconds of being asked. Pretty much the rest of his time dressed as Taurtis goes very similarly. He objects to most things he's told to do and brings up Sam stabbing Taurtis multiple times despite the other's not wanting him to but is primarily nervous rather than hostile and he never actuslly puts up enough resistence for it to stick. Even when the other's were stuffing plastic down his throat and he told them he thought it may kill him Grian still did it and told the other's he *liked* it when pushed. Eventually he got out of it by running on Rowan's command and no sooner than being told to get out of there. When Sam found him again Grian immediately even reverted back to doing as he was told and cowering away from him in obvious fear up until Okami and Rowan showed up and shoved Grian behind them. Then he *still went home that night* knowing Sam would be there. When they found Taurtis it was pretty clear that Grian was hoping Taurtis would help him once he got his memory back however when instructed to stop telling Taurtis who he was Grian for the most part did aside from subtle pushing about the familiarity of certain things and then later when Taurtis got his memory back and made it pretty clear he wasn't going to help Grian? Grian conceded. He spent a good few minutes arguing about everything he'd gone through- everything they both had- and insisting it wasn't okay but when Taurtis made it pretty clear he wasn't going to do anything and they collectively agreed Grian was the real problem? Grian kinda...stopped. When Taurtis made it clear he wasn't going to be helping, Grian just kinda fell back into their normal routine with the other's, and when Sam demanded an 'apology soda' from Grian for what he'd apparently done, Grian bought it for him saying "If that's what it takes for things to go back to normal".

Let's also look at Grian's involvement with the law during/shortly-after the Halloween situation. When Sam and Yuki dragged him to join the Yakuza he was upset and objected anxiously but caved as soon as he got pushback. When Sam wanted to steak from the Yakuza he once again got objections from Grian who nervously insisted that it was a terrible idea but once again Sam shoved aside Grian's complaints and once again Grian just kinda fell into place despite being upset. When the police also started threatening the trio's lives to work for them, Grian objected. He questioned if they were allowed to do that and was very openly not happy about any of it, however he very quickly submitted under pressure. Both times Grian was locked in solitary confinement he loudly protested his sanity and both times he voiced how disturbing it was on a really deep level being locked up like that but both times when he was let out he just went with the other two again and let them brush it all off- even knowing full well they let him out to be *death fodder*. He just went with them relatively quietly save for maybe a token remark or two. Honestly the large majority of this bs Grian was involved with was under physical threat and he almost always bent under it. Even down to his fight with Pie over Ellen. Pie showed up and started challenging their relationship. Sam, Taurtis, and Yuki insisted they have a knife fight. Grian said *no*. Pie said yes. Sam, Taurtis, and Yuki affirmed there would be a knife fight. Grian objects more. Everyone else present discusses how the knife fight will work. Grian gets stabbed. Grian suggests they just ask Ellen who they want to date *obviously*. Ellen chooses nobody and leaves. Grian was upset but then just kinda accepts it and goes on with what the whole group was doing before.

And just to round this out with one more example. The Starwars Cosplay Incident. Apparently Sam burst into Grian's room, undressed him, shoved him into Leia Cosplay complete with fake boobs, and locked him in the basement for three days. Grian sits there for three days until Taurtis rescues him.  Grian has a moment of being rightfully very angry and finally even tries to physically attack Sam, demanding to know if Taurtis is aware of what Sam did to him and insisting that they can't expect everything to be fine now. Except it kinda...was. Taurtis stopped Grian from attacking Sam, they both brushed it off as a joke and not a big deal, and then they went to school. And Grian just *went*. He walked with the other two, he wore the outfit Sam put him in, and he just kinda moved on. Grian would later object when the clones tried to pull him out of class, snapping that he just wants to learn and get an education like a normal person and demanding to know why he's not allowed to. But he goes! And when he's released he walks right back to Sam and Taurtis, makes some bitter remarks to them, and let's them shove it all aside as if it's unimportant. Later when it's Grian, Sam, and a member of school staff alone in the closet, some innapropriate remarks are made to Grian. He very quickly says he's reporting the remarks made by school staff but Sam tells him not to be rude and it doesn't seem Grian ever does. Later on when Geode makes a comment about Grian's outfit as well Sam and Taurtis start pondering *giving* Grian to them. Grian repeatedly said *no* but with a lot more despair than defiance and we don't even know if he'd have actually followed through with fighting back if they'd tried to actually give him away because they were interrupted before the situation got to that point. Grian once again just let the other's move on as if that didn't happen and continued following them around, though! And he wore that damn outfit he was very explicitly uncomfortable with. All day.

Which is kinda all to say that when it comes to fighting back Grian is a lot more bark than bite.

Grian throws out a lot of bitter remarks, makes his objections very apparent in most things, and even has more than one vitriolic rant to his abuser(s) throughout the series. But that layer of his responses to things is so fragile that it tends to fall away within minutes- if that, sometimes *seconds*.

Of course ive seen other people take note of this and argue that it means Grian actually *wants* to do these thingd he's objecting to but I think that's silly. If it were just things like group crime or violent acts then id possibly see it but Grian puts up the same kind of response to having plastic shoved down his throat and to being locked in the basement for days which there's no way in hell he was any kind of okay with. The more likely scenario here isn't that he secretly wanted to do any of these things and made his resistence weak so he could pretend he tried while still doing it.

The likely scenario here is that his fight response is much more for show than one would think. Because Grian's strongest most influential response to things really never seems to be to fight. Aggression is really hardly Grian's overall stance on handling a distressing situation.

Much more frequently you see the most influence coming from completely other instinctive responses.

Looking for outside help in adults, friends, and classmates like when Okami and Rowan protected him during his time dressed as Taurtis or when Grian tried desperately to get Taurtis to be on his side and help him after Sam seriously hurt him both when Taurtis first got his memory back after Halloween and when Taurtis found Grian in the basement during the Starwars Cosplay Incident, hell, even during his fight with Pie it can be argued that Grian calling for them to just ask Ellen was an appeal to outside help as he hoped Ellen would agree to end the fight and save him from the situation as a result.

Running away- or trying to at least- from the threat. Most notably seen back during the halloween incident when he quite literally ran out the back of the gym and hid from Sam+Yuki then hiding behind Okami and Rowan when they showed up in an attempt to flee from Sam which is how he got away from the other's at all during that situation. Grian's consistent need to exclaim every so often how much he wants to go back to Europe is a subtler example of this, though, of Grian's urge to get away.

Honestly though being quiet and moving as he's directed seems to be the most common winning response. You see little sparks of reaction from him but most of the time Grian is just quiet, nervously laughing, following Taurtis and Sam around in what they ask of him, and even outright appeasement strategies to maintain a calm environment. This is So common from Grian. This is what usually wins out. His quiet nervous laughter and agreeing with Sam when Taurtis is first stabbed. The fact that he didn't tell the police what Sam did when alone with them during questioning and then immediately walked to meet up with Sam and went to school with Sam+Yuki with literally no objections. The fact that he didn't say no like *at all* to putting on the Taurtis outfit in the name of not making things awkward and complied within seconds of first being asked. How he proceeded to do what he was asked all day and didn't make any move to get away until Rowan outright instructed him to run. The fact that he went back! The fact that he went along with it when they joined the Yakuza and when they stole from the Yakuza and when they joined up with the cops and when they *forced him into a knife fight*. How Grian eventually just lost his spark of defiance after Taurtis first got his memories back and made it clear he wasn't helping Grian, with Grian agreeing to buy Sam a fucking *apology soda* if it meant things would go back to normal after hearing everyone else agree that *he* was the problem in all he'd been put through. The way he just goes back to following Sam and Taurtis after they got him locked in solitary confinement on blatant lies because they *wanted* to. The way he walks around school with the other two while wearing cosplay that made him feel gross and uncomfortable that Sam had literally physically forced onto him and just went along with what he was told in the end.

Grian always puts up a fight but not a good one. He makes side comments, he makes objections, he even has more than one emotional rant about the hell he's put through, however this never wins out in the end and this presenting fight is very frequently just barely holding down much stronger freeze and fawn instincts that usually win out pretty damn quick.

Which!!! In a situation like Grian's it actually makes significantly more sense to have strong freeze and fawn responses than to have a strong fight response! I mean, think about it. A fight response is primarily useful in scenarios in which it's possible to take strong action to remove the threat. You're attacked by a dog so you throw stuff at it till it backs away. You're picked on by an upperclassman so you punch em' in the nose expecting fully that they'll leave you be after. Someone attacks you while you're walking home so you try and stab them with your key. Fighting is an incredibly good response for random/one time attacks. If you're ever kidnapped you wanna scream and punch and kick and make a scene so they can't take you to a secondary location. You fight. Fighting is optimal for unexpected stranger conflicts. That's not the situation Grian's in though. Grian suffers from serious long term physical, emotional, and financial abuse. He's in a country he doesn't have residency or family in, he doesn't have a readily available source of income, he doesn't have his own mode of transportation, it seems that most of the time he doesnt have a clear way home, he's often dealing with long term friends of his and seemingly his biggest source of support prior to this situation, even back in Europe he doesn't have much support system to run to given his parents canonically left him, he's frequently under threat of physical danger, etc. This is not the kind of situation in which an intense primary fight response helps. This is the type of situation in which an intense primary fight response either gets you seriously hurt or wandering the streets with no way to provide for yourself. It would likely be similar if he presented an intense primary flight response to be honest. In long term abuse situations where there's no rational way of escaping safely or no rational place to escape to? Often the primary responses that promote survival are fawn and freeze. Appeasing the aggressor or sinking into the background. Those are your ways to stay alive when you can't expect to 'win' or escape. It absolutely makes more sense for Grian to have primary fawn and freeze responses than a primary fight response.

But then why does he present so much hostility? What's with all the bitter remarks and the attempts to voice objections and the occasional overt insults/screaming? How does a fawn/freeze response present as fight when first pressed at?? Well fun fact, I have experience with that kind of presentation because I *was* that kind of presentation. Oh boy did I try to push strong fight responses towards my abusive father with token resistences and petty remarks even though most of the time I crumpled under the slightest pressure and spent my time ignoring the problem or dissociating or trying very hard to avoid future conflicts. You put up a token front of fight even if that's never going to be your primary response for the sake of your own mental health, really. To assure the world- and *you*- knows that you don't *want* this situation. So you can say you tried. Out of some misguided hope that your attempted bravado won't be seen through and that maybe this time they'll just stop pushing instead of calling the bluff. Which. Makes sense with Grian as well. I mean looking at the times he really truly goes off before reverting back to a more appeasing stance, most notably his rants from when Taurtis first got his memory back as well as from when he got out of the basement during the Starwars Cosplay Incident. Most of those rants were taken up by Grian loudly and passionately reiterating what he'd been through, insisting he was the victim, and calling Sam an awful person before the defiance fades out and he becomes more willing to just go about their day. It's one attempted push hoping the other parties present will vie in his favour and a reassertion that he's not okay with this and that *he* is being hurt which gives way within minutes to a much duller attitude. That's just a painfully familiar format. Adding on Grian's token objections/passive aggressive remarks to many situations that distress him and how quickly those objections give way as dismissed by others. That kind of behaviour feels strongly like an attempt to preserve your own mental wellbeing as much as possible with the knowledge that you tried to some extent and with just generally hearing out loud that you are the victim even if from yourself. Grian's behaviour just really feels like a facade of defiance to cover up general helplessness which makes a Lot of sense for the scenario. Probably more than just plain defiance would.