#and honestly some of the things in the translation really intrigue me

[greyedian]

uh oh besties, it might be time for my (almost) annual Dishonored replay again

[crustyfloor]

Link to the translated Q&A Vivinos and Qmeng had recently.

....Guess that means it'll be very long (hopefully) and very good? honestly just scared for what round 7 will bring, it's probably gonna be the last round in the series, and with all the tension buildup this'll be stressful i assume

Yeah, Luka was set to be a popular figure from the jump, there was no way his trick with the Sua imitation was more than just a power trip (Or just a genuine mental break on Mizi's part). because either way with the way Mizi was holding herself up during round 5, she stood 0 chance against him.

Luka, just like the others doesn't actually have real control over his position in Alien stage. So in order to set that boundary for himself and others he uses his presence and the stage because, in any other context, he is simply just a tool and a frail (old) man. (And he has in-universe stans how beautiful)

More Luka lore please vivinos....

Kinda glad this got changed, because imagine this cute guy gradually turning into the Ivan we know now and then doing the shit he did in round 6? then doing the dream face reveal showing that he never truly changed, he just had a mask on. that shit would be 10x more devastating (even though the way it is now is just as devastating) Ivan and Luka twins (scary stuff but quite intriguing, even now they're still quite similar in some ways)

Augh...it is true though. Aliens and humans are just far to vast in traits to relate to each other on such a level, this reminds me of Mizi and Guardian Shine. Guardian Shine might've been the only guardian shown in the alien stage cast to actually be kind. She even seemed to be crying when she had to send Mizi away to go to Anakt(?). I find it kinda sweet though, that the ones who do actually care really show it and try even if they can't understand their pets that well.

But I also like the more grim side to it, because when you don't understand something specifically another being in this case you're less likely to have sympathy for it. Humans and Aliens don't have any relatable traits so whatever these aliens do to the humans whether for self-pleasure or such. And lab-mice? that confirms lab-rat theory. Alien stage crew were all just succesful experiments and the bad batch are kept behind for further testing i theorize. but its still pretty vague so we'll see. hopefully things get more grim ((

......What are you hiding Vivinos. (she rlly said do your homework....okay mum...i will catch you...)

A story about the death of close loved ones and how that can affect characters who are alive in the long run. im gonna throw up.

(NOT AGAIN WITH THE DEAD WIFE PARALLEL MIZI IS NOT HIS WIFE-)

"Ivan is the perfect man" 😭 I love the details of round 6 clothing so much, even I got that superior or dominating aura from Ivan when I first saw him in round 6 (💀) there wasn't really much to his outfit but the way he carried himself in it kinda just gave off that idea that he's the one in control here. but gradually, we can see that facade fade as he got more into his feelings the more he sang and sunk down to a level where he was most natural. eugh.....

[academicdisasterfic]

Writing Interview

tagged by the inimitable @lqtraintracks 💗

What’s your total ao3 word count? 181,945

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

- Sourdough with 3692

- Half Awake with 1333

- In the Shape of Things to Come with 1133

- A Melody of You & Me with 1023

- Career Day with 866

Do you respond to comments?

I try, but honestly, I’ve spent the last two years so burnt out and exhausted that it’s fallen to the wayside. I read and appreciate absolutely everything and try to respond when I have the energy; I still get flutters at Ao3 comment notifications in my email and I am fervently hoping one day to make up the slack.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

lol I absolutely am allergic to anything but a happy ending: I’d say a tolerance for pain but it has a sequel so not quite! Some of my microfics are quite angsty.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

All of them lol - I think the one that makes me the happiest is Half Awake. Objectively A Melody of You & Me or Sourdough is much fluffier but something about the way H&D learn each other in Half Awake feels closer to my own idea of what finding happiness feels like.

Do you write crossovers?

Not yet! Never say never - I’m thinking all the time of how much fun it’d be to write Drarry in various other universes.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes and it’s hilarious to me every time. Girl who’s got the energy

Do you write smut?

I try but I am absolutely no connoisseur. I tend to write sex scenes more quickly & with less detail than I intend, but it’s something I’m working on!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and it made me so happy! It’s such a huge compliment.

Have you ever co-written a fic?

An absolute banger that will never see the light of day with @cavendishbutterfly

What’s your all time favourite ship?

There’s Drarry, obviously, but Wolfstar is equally as sacred to me.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started writing a longer fic about three years ago that was intended to be a very slow burn friends to lovers and was kind of processing my own divorce. I think I just moved on, both in my own life and as a writer. I ended up using some bits of it for When the Flood Comes - the description of Hogwarts at the start and the Golden Trio’s dynamic is from that other fic, particularly the part where Ron wakes up and has to reassure himself that Harry came back from the forest.

What are your writing strengths?

I’m definitely a character focussed writer - I love writing dialogue and emotions, and I think that’s probably what I’m best at. I also love writing setting & atmosphere but I’m not quite where I want to be with it yet - that being said, none of my writing is where I want it to be, I’m chronically dissatisfied with all my words.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not a plot guy. I struggle with holding suspense over longer works and I think I rush too much. Sometimes I worry about being autistic and the way I express thoughts and emotions: I’ll read other work and think mine is too simplistic. I’m not very good with descriptions either, I don’t tend to describe appearances too much.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

Big yes!!! So many fic writers speak English as their second language and have to write in English all the time; I love seeing mother tongues being written in. I probably wouldn’t feel confident enough to write in a language I didn’t speak but I’ve seen people do it really well with betas who can translate.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I think I’ve written everything I really want to - perhaps one day a short angsty Narcissa/Pansy, I’ve loved the idea of them for a while but I’ve not had the time.

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?

My favourite fic I’ve written is When the Flood Comes - political intrigue was a new beast for me, but I loved writing it, and I also love Harry and Draco’s dynamic in it. Outside of fic, my original novel is my favourite overall, and I’m so proud that I finished it. I didn’t really believe that I’d be able to write a full novel until I actually did it, and it changed how I thought of myself as a writer. It’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

Tagging @cavendishbutterfly @saxamophone @saintgarbanzo @nv-md @sleepstxtic @oknowkiss @basicallyahedgehog @moonmanateee and anyone who wants to participate - I love reading these, please tag me!

[forgeofthenine]

I was just thinking about requesting head canons about the bachelor's with a reader who speaks another language (and honestly, my personal headcanon is that elvish sound like gaeilge/Irish) and the Zevlor headcanon that was just posted convinced me to send it. So here it is. What do the boys think of a partner that speaks another, non common, language?

Hi Wisteria! I'm always happy to see another request from you :)

Personally I love hearing fantasy languages, Tolkien's elvish and it's portrayal in LOTR come to mind. That was definitely something on my mind while writing this, and even if I didn't specify I definitely wrote this with the idea of the reader speaking some form of elvish or celestial in mind. For anyone wondering, the Zevlor headcanon mentioned in the ask would be the 'accidental turn ons for the bachelors' <3

The bachelors with a partner that speaks another language

Dammon

So, I feel like all the tieflings have at least a basic understanding of infernal, Dammon included

He loves calling you by pet names and endearments in infernal

The day you do the same but in a non-common language is the day this man simply passes away from happiness

He completely paused the first time he hears it, before teasingly asking what else you're hiding from him

Dammon loves hearing you speaking another language casually, just like how he speaks bits and pieces of infernal

Over time he starts to pick up on translations of the things you say and will sometimes respond in infernal as a joke

Other people get very confused when they see you two speaking completely different languages to each other, especially if he explains neither of you actually know the other language

Dammon does it specifically to confuse people, sometimes he also says it's a special language for you two

He loves listening to you and could happily do it for hours

Zevlor

Not going to beat around the bush, Zevlor is extremely turned on every time he hears you speak another language

It just fuels something in him, he doesn't even really know the specifics, just that he finds it incredibly attractive

You can tell his full undivided attention is on you every time you're speaking something other than common

If you really want to tease him, lean in behind him and murmur something in his ear

His breath audibly hitches and his whole body does a system reboot right in front of you

Zevlor will absolutely encourage you to speak in another language around him, and picks up on translations quite easily

You'll even hear him saying the occasional word in the language too, the little smile he gives you afterwards is just too sweet

Over time he calms down a bit more, but hearing you never quite loses it's spark

It's always something Zevlor is going to be drawn to

Rolan

Rolan drops something the first time he hears you speaking a different language, it's probably a book that finds itself on the floor

I feel like he'd be pretty fluent in infernal, this man is incredibly smart and is always learning

He's shocked and intrigued when you speak a second language though

As much as he doesn't want to admit it at first, he'd love for you to teach him how to speak the language

In return he'd happily teach you infernal, and Rolans actually a very good teacher

In the end I can see him having some sort of schedule so you can both learn the new language

He insists on learning through exposure too, so common ends up becoming a rarely spoken language between you both

Cal and Lia have a ball of a time teasing you both, in return Rolan will talk to you only in a language they don't understand while around them

He really loves getting to hear you talk in another language, and hearing you teach it is even better

[toskarin]

what warband mods would you rec? I only ever played vanilla warband years ago and that was probably on fairly low AI settings, but I'm definitely intrigued by getting the full feudal clusterfuck experience as well as indulging in some nostalgia.

there's a few qualifications to these, because I usually like them for different reasons and I have something wrong with me, but...

< ! PREEMPTIVE WARNING ! > you should be running modules in Warband Script Extender even if they don't say they need it! people have historically been really bad about clarifying when it's expected

Bannerpage - vanilla for people who want More of it, and then more after that. it reminds me of a spiritual successor to Floris Modpack. an enormous expansion that's also a bit of a tongue in cheek what-if for "Bannerlord, except as continued development of Warband" with increasing complexity. this one will probably spoil you a bit on other modules just because of how many little enhancements it pulls on the native systems lol

Prophesy of Pendor - the premier feudal fantasy rpg experience. this one is brutally difficult and throws some battles at you with genuinely bewildering enemy force sizes. I'd feel fairly confident in calling this the most difficult of the major total conversion modules that maintain core M&B gameplay

Touhou Gensokyo Warfare~the Castiron Flame - this is straight up glorious kusoge and I love it dearly. it often breaks so severely due to its own design decisions that it creates a unique high-skill gameplay expectation that exists in literally no other mods, but also it can't really be called "core" M&B gameplay anymore. this module actually consists of three chinese mods (Touhou Tinder, Touhou Origin, and Touhou Beat), one of which is derived from a fork that was extended by /jp/, another which was just translated by /jp/ (a shoddy translation but not distinctly a 4chan translation, if that's a concern), all of which were merged into one mod and managed by a passionate and cool chinese mod team. none of this comes to a consistent artistic vision. every single character looks like kigurumi cosplay and they all look like they're from different manufacturers. this is my favourite module. I could play it for years.

Perisno - a strange bird of a module that I don't see mentioned much anymore. a shame, honestly, because it's quite fun if you like higher fantasy settings. a bit overconfident with its own setting lore at times, but that really just makes it more authentic as a high fantasy setting, doesn't it? anyway they funnelled the mod development efforts away to a standalone game in the setting because of that, and I wish them well, but you know how it goes with that sort of thing

Gekokujo Daimyo Edition - a modification of an older warband module that was originally a touhou hijack that was originally a mod for the non-Warband game made by japanese players annoyed that nobody in the western playerbase was making mods with a japanese setting. it's buggy, it's incomplete, it will explode at you randomly, but it's still pretty neat. there's really no other mod out there that gives you such a thorough "I HATE THE TANEGASHIMA I HATE THE TANEGASHIMA" experience. Sengoku Era, a successor mod, will probably replace it on recommendation lists when it eventually releases.

Warsword Conquest - this is the Warhammer Fantasy mod. it has all the problems you'd expect from that. that being said, the sheer level of detail in this mod makes it more than worth dropping in to check it out. some of the environments are gorgeous enough to make Warband feel like an entirely different game, and with a surprising variety of firearms, the average campaign ends up being a pretty wild ride

Brytenwalda - I'm not recommending Brytenwalda as an experience, because it's actually not that good a very interesting moment in M&B modding history. Brytenwalda is the birthplace of a lot of mod tropes that became standard in mods going forward, namely most culture-related systems and the modern standard for module graphics. it also introduced tripping and represents the moment people started making really annoying attempts at jury-rigging balance into the game before Warband Script Extender came around and actually allowed them to modify the lower systems of the game. still kinda neat if you like historical settings, and definitely foundational enough to warrant a look

Last Days of the Third Age - infamously hard-headed in a way that only a mod for a feudal warfare simulator rpg made by Tolkien nerds who insist on book>movie aesthetics could pull off, this isn't really core M&B gameplay and is very rigid, but it's another case of something being so detailed and passionate that it's a fun experience anyway.

Solid and Shade - this is actually the best hardcore survival horror experience made for Warband, which is a bit like saying that Harvester is the best FMV game ever made about waking up in a town named Harvest. the Harvester comparison is more than surface level. the writing often feels like Harvester. this is one of the only modules (hell, one of the only games even!) I've ever seen that successfully pulls off the concept of corrupting players with the promise of immortality. it's a horror mystery where every single character creation option affects your longterm gameplay... but to provide a fair warning, reading the developer's commentary on this mod will sour you on it. the developer is an edgelord who just kinda kitchen-sinked horror elements in a way that reminds me a lot of Revolution of Terror (the old Well of Souls mod). the compelling esoterica and atmosphere seem to have been achieved largely on accident

[cherries-in-wine]

I love ur posts on lolita the book- what are ur thoughts on the movies?

aw tysm anon mwah <3

(Made a few edits because my perspective changed a little)

I don't really like the movies- in fact comparing them to the masterpiece that Vladimir Nabokov wrote feels like an insult. Sometimes art can only exist in a certain medium and when you take it out of that medium it loses its integrity. Lolita is art that can only exist as literature. This is what I used to believe but to be honest even as literature it's being misunderstood a lot so it feels as if no matter what medium lolita exists in, it'll always be interpreted wrong.

It took Vladimir Nabokov 5 years to write lolita because writing from the perspective of a pedophile is tough- it's using the abuser to tell the victim's story but in this case the abuser is our unreliable narrator, he had to make Humbert Humbert charming or at least intriguing in a fucked up way enough that the reader would be compelled to read further (lolita will disturb you but you won't able to put it down) but any competent reader would will be able to figure out that Humbert Humbert is just spewing his delusional bullshit.

It feels as if Vladimir Nabokov predicted the romanticization of Lolita as soon as we started putting girls on the book covers- he intended on lolita being faceless

So much of what makes the book incredible lies in reading in between the lines to figure out what's actual going on. Think of it as Humbert Humbert is forcing his heart shaped rose coloured glasses onto you like "see it's a beautiful tragic love story" and it's your responsibility to take them off to see things as they are, a 12 year old child being abused constantly.

Unreliable narrators in general are hard to portray on screen (it's not impossible ofcourse, gone girl, 500 days of summer and black swan do it really well) but extra difficult in this case because lolita and Dolores are 2 different people entirely. Lolita is the persona, Dolores is the person. Lolita is the nymphet, the seductress that only exists in Humbert's twisted mind, Dolores is the 12 year old child. Humbert sees lolita, he wants you to see lolita, but you need to focus on Dolores.

Lolita 1962 was laughably inaccurate, they made Dolores look like an elegant woman when even Humbert Humbert describes her as a messy tomboy. Lolita 1997 is better I guess, it follows the book a little more accurately. The movie is definitely pretty to look at and I don't have a problem with Dolores being an icon or people taking fashion inspiration from her. In my opinion she is an icon, it isn't fair to reduce a victim's identity to their trauma and abuser. Also she's so funny and is constantly insulting Humbert so mwah love her so much plus I relate to her a lot as I went through similar things. I think some scenes of Humbert Humbert being an unreliable narrator were translated really well, for example this argument-

Humbert gave a short description while the movie is more of lo's point of view, it's all screaming and shouting and absolutely devastating, Dominique Swain did an amazing job.

Both of the actresses were 14 during filming and that's just so unsettling to me. Sure you're using a body double for explicit scenes but isn't that just content for actual pedophiles, the closest thing to CP that's legal?. There are many older actresses that look younger but honestly that scares me more, because now there are no restrictions to the scenes they can film, which usually ends up underage characters in extremely exploitative scenes (think euphoria).

My feelings are sort of all over the place on this, I simply can't reach a satisfying conclusion- I don't think it's impossible to adapt lolita into a good film, black swan is one of my favourite movies ever and nina sayers is as unrealiable as a narrator gets, so it's not impossible to portray Humbert Humbert on screen but it will be difficult. On the other hand I just know that people will find some way to romanticize the movie- no matter how well it's written like in the novel it's so obvious Humbert is a pedophile that he might as well get it tattoed on his head but people still think of it as "aw tragic beautiful love story". But part of me thinks that if they write it kind of like gone girl, you believe nick is the murderer in the first half then amy's scheming is revealed in the second, just like that if lolita is shown in the first half but after dolores runs away her perspective is shown to audience, how she's so miserable and gives an accurate depiction of Humbert Humbert's abuse, maybe showing that horrifying reality of the story will end it's romanticization once and for all.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

November Creator of the Month: Belencha77

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month: @belencha77

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTMs can be found here.

Tumblr Blog Name: Belencha77

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog

Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I started playing Choices about four years ago or so. My first book, and the one I fell in love with, was The Royal Romance. I loved the intrigue and indecision Riley had about who to choose.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Two or three years ago. Since I was obsessed with reading more about Liam and Riley's story, I searched on Google and found Tumbr. The truth is that I had never heard of the page since my native language is Spanish. But I love reading and reading in English fascinates me.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

For the moment, my blog has my name.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

My first post was "Everything Has Changed Chapter 10—Surrender" by sincerelyella. The truth is that I was just figuring out how to manage the page, but the story itself enchanted me. In relation to my first post with my name, it was in July of this year. I have been enchanted ever since I read TRR. But I read it in English, so I translated it into Spanish, and that's why I decided to share it.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

The truth is that I like writing fanfics, but if I could create fan art at some point, I would.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I started writing on Wattpad and Booknet in 2021, but I started sharing my work on Tumblr only in July, which encouraged me to do so.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Without a doubt, The Royal Romance.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

My first fanfic was The Royal Romance. I honestly wouldn't change it. I'm a die-hard fan of this series.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

The Royal Romance

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

The truth is that I just started posting my creations on Tumblr. On other platforms, I thought I wouldn't be accepted, but it actually went well. As I explained, I read The Royal Romance in English and translated it into Spanish.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I would definitely love to write only romantic stuff, so I'd say I'm going for angst.

12- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

In some things, yes. In others, it is as I would expect to have the courage to be

13- What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Sometimes it's difficult to write because ideas slip away—one comes, then another follows, and you erase, rewrite, and start over.

14- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

No, for the moment

15- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

I would love for someone outside the fandom to see it and I would definitely show them The Royal Romance.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

The truth is that some people: kingliamandriley, katurrade, kat-tia801, @bebepac, @tessa-liam, @kingliam2019, ao719. There are several people who have inspired me.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

The Royal Romance

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I prefer fanfiction

19- What other hobbies do you have?

I like making covers, drawing, reading.

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to)

I feel that I am passionate about romance. I see writing as a way to clear the mind, as each of us carries a unique story to tell. It’s more than just putting words on a page; writing is an act of dedication, effort, and passion, an opportunity to share our emotions and thoughts with the world. Love stories have the power to connect hearts, to make us dream, laugh, and cry, reminding us of the beauty of feeling and surrendering to love in all its forms.

For me, every romantic story is an invitation to explore the deepest emotions, to believe in the magic of love, and to find beauty in every corner of life. I am also deeply fascinated by royalty, which is why I’m obsessed with the book that revolves around this theme—it combines my love for romance with the allure of royal life. I love love stories. I've written on other platforms before, but I wanted to try this one in my native language to see how it turned out. If you like Spanish, I hope you can enjoy my translated stories from The Royal Romance with some changes. I hope to be able to upload more.

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

BSD Locations- Yokohama Visit 2024 - Part 5

The final part of the Yokohama Pilgrimage!

The previous parts:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

24. Harbor View Park (S1EP9)

It's so close to France Yama. It was really windy and a pleasant area to relax after a long day. You can see a wonderful view of the entire city from here!! The sun was setting around the time I visited so it was kind of perfect :')

25. Harbor View Police Station (S1EP9)

Only a few minutes from the Harbor View Park. It so happens that a black car also passed by as I was taking a picture, such a great coincidence XD

26. Motomachi Park Telephone Booth

A nice old-fashioned telephone booth!! I'm not sure it is still operating though...There were some beautiful western styled architectural buildings on the way here.

It was getting so dark at this point that I was worried I wouldn't be able to find this telephone booth, but thankfully I did! (It was only like 16:45 or something 😭)

27. Motomachi Park (S3EP26)

The park featured in the 15!anime adaptation. Honestly this place was kinda difficult to find (i think I literally passed by a cemetery??). It was so deserted and I'm the kind of person who gets spooked when alone and loses sense of direction when it starts getting dark lmao. I tried to match the angle of the anime but the design of the park was slightly different.

How was Dazai even jumping over that pillar thing? It was so big, it would take a lot of effort to climb on top of one, much less jump from one pillar to another 😭

When I was leaving the park, I saw a cute kitty too!! Somehow, I felt like my trip was really complete lol. I really wish I had some cat food (I want more cat friends!!!! 😭)

28. The Sky Garden Yokohama Landmark Tower (OP2)

The final place on my list and one I was dying with excitement to visit!! S2 opening is so iconic and my favourite BSD opening, so I tried to search for a building with the same view hahaha. The ticket costs 1,000 yen, but I got it for 900 yen by booking in advance on Klook! The view was absolutely stunning!!!! I would definitely recommend coming here for the night view! 💕

The Cosmos Clock 21 changes colors every 15 minutes and it's so pretty!! They have a cafe and they have some books too! You can just sit and relax while gazing out towards the beautiful Yokohama timeline! :)

Speaking of which, they even had the BSD Anthology collection in a section labelled, "Books based on Yokohama" XD

I picked a random one and there was a chapter in which Kunikida was sick? I'm not sure if the anthology series is being translated anywhere but I sure as hell do not remember any chapter like this?? There was even one where Fukuzawa was feeding cats or something and I'm so intrigued, I will consider getting a copy if I ever find it in stores.

It seems that they have days when they plan fireworks at the Yokohama harbor. I saw it on a free pamphlet i collected from the subway station. It's called Yokohama Sparkling Twilight!! I've added the link for any of your fanfic requirements lol. Imagine how cool it would be to see the fireworks from here thoo!? 😩💖

Yokohama Museum of Art was the last place on my list. It's actually located close to the Landmark tower, but it was getting really cold and my legs were killing me so I had to call it a day lol :')

Final Thoughts

Looking back now, I find it crazy to think I planned to visit all these places on foot in one single day (and managed to pull it off???) If I had started a little bit earlier, I suppose I could have squeezed in a few more places, because it gets dark so quickly in winter, but the exhaustion would have got me before that hahaha. I think I walked 30,000 steps that day, the most I have ever walked in my life ig 😂 But it was totally worth it!! I felt so happy to see all the places featured in the anime, and it's just amazing how much work the anime team put into the smallest details. It's just so wholesome and fun to connect the places to the anime versions.

I think it would be better to do such a pilgrimage in summer instead. The BSD anime page on twitter had also made some posts about some of the locations, which i forgot to share. I'll add them to part 1, to the other references I listed.

I'm not sure if it's because I love the series so much, that made me romanticize the place a bit, but Yokohama really was such a lovely place. It was such a charming and peaceful city and when I walked around the harbour I found myself thinking how I wouldn't mind living here hahaha. If I ever get the chance to visit again, I would like to relax a bit, without having to worry about moving along to the next destination XD

And that's the end of my Yokohama Pilgrimage!! Thank you for taking time to read this! Honestly I'm so honoured if anyone even bothered to go through these posts and I did not expect this to have five parts hahahaha but I hope you enjoyed hearing my silly commentary!! ❤️

[treatbuckywkisses]

Perspective

Summary: artist!steve and .... you weren't supposed to find out like this

A/N: this was written on my phone:) I've had this idea for 3 years now and finally fully executed it and I feel good enough about it to post it!!! please let me know all your thoughts & reblog!! love you big🩷 moodboard made by yours truly💛 dividers made by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: literally so soft and fluffy, mentions of insecurities, my blog is 18+ only. I do not give permission for my work to be translated, copied, or shared.

Steve loves art.

He loves that there are multiple ways to express himself; drawing, painting, sculpting. Oftentimes he found himself lost in whatever medium he was using. Hours passed without him noticing and he felt lucky to have so much time and freedom with his arts. But that freedom required frequent check-ins. Always making sure he wasn't too lost and keeping up with himself.

A few years back he'd gotten so immersed in a project he hadn't eaten for a whole day and when he finally remembered it might be a good idea, his mild hunger he previously ignored had turned into a splitting headache along with his stomach screaming in agony, and by then, it was too late. He'd found himself dehydrated and damn near passed out from it. So now if he doesn't answer the phone within half an hour, you show up with a full spread and a list of questions.

And without fail, every time you let your self in the studio asking for signs of life, he has no choice but to fuss and whine, "Don't you know I'm a bit old for a babysitter?" (His easy smile tells you he's at least partially joking.)

Still this remark results in a scoff or a pointed look. He likes knowing that you care so deeply.

Besides, you're the only person he doesn't mind showing his art to, even before it's finished. Because somehow, you always see his vision, even when others don't. Steve likes that a lot. You're always there for him even if it's not physically and he's unsure if you know this or not.

Being friends with Steve since uni, you've been his model plenty of times but that didn't mean Steve got used to how intimate the setting was. Honestly, you've been his model enough times, Steve can sketch you by memory. Every part of you has been embedded in his mind. Your lively essence the only thing lacking compared to you lounging around his studio.

He had such intense focus on watching both you and his sketchpad. He had to be sure not to miss any detail. From the way your hair sprawled out over your shoulder, down to the tip of your cute nose and over the curves of your cupids bow. Even though this wasn't new to you by any means, he could tell you were a bit squirmy when he finally met your eyes.

It was intriguing how impressive Steves talent was, and always has been. Especially with the typical artist ego some folks get. No matter the amount Steve prospered, he remained as humble and dare you say bashful as ever. Cheeks pinking up with his blue eyes shining at the praise. Remembering that minor detail from professors in uni till now with big time art collectors.

Steve may have fucked up. 

Scratch that. Steve definitely fucked up.

He forgot to tell you about a consultation he had today. Depending on the client consultations could be pretty lengthy. Looking at his portfolio, recommendations from previous clients, credentials, blah blah until finally getting to what this client expected to receive from buying something Steve made. It was a whole process you knew all about, having to wait on Steve to potentially celebrate afterwards.. if you'd been told that is. He has no one to blame besides himself. Yet for some reason, he hadn't expected this to happen so soon..

He doesn't mean to be a creep, really! He just can't help himself. He would definitely be mortified if you ever found out. It's the only thing he's ever kept from you in your entire friendship. Not that he wants to! He just can't possibly imagine a positive reaction to you being the only material in an entire sketchbook. He knows you. That's why he keeps it hidden. 

You can't find out he has two pages full of just your eyes. Or that he's drawn you in every angle he could without being lewd. (Not that he hasn't thought about it, he just really, really  couldn't risk that getting out.) All the things you've ever nonchalantly complained about. Every curve of your body, stretch marks varying in color, the size of your nose. Everything you view as an insecurity perplexed Steve. At first it was supposed to help you. When you got bad about it and didn't think anyone noticed until Steve brought it up. He had this grand idea. If he made it, you'd have to think it was gorgeous! The thing was, once he started, he couldn't seem to stop. Not in a bad obsessive way, in a way that allowed him to see you, to truly see you.

Normally, when you model for Steve you're just there for him to double check his vision while he gives it life. They don't always look exactly like you, he just mimics your movements, but in the end he does get to sneak in a detail he knows is from only you, that's what makes his pieces stand out. That he's certain of. You know you're the base for quite a bit of his works both in paintings and sculptures. Knowing deep down you're the same shape as whatever he decided to turn you into. And you always compliment his work, so Steve couldn't understand why it was hard for you to view yourself the same way he does.

When Steve is finally finished with his consultation he's able to check his phone on his trek back home. There's one missed call from about half an hour ago, which he knows is all it takes, so he's expecting you to be awaiting his arrival, most likely with takeout. 

What he didn't expect, however, was to walk in on you flipping through sketchbooks. You hadn't heard him come in the front door so he sets out to look for you. Once he finds you..It's as if time is standing still.

He doesn't know why but he's frozen. He can't even allow himself to breathe as he watches you pick up his yellow sketchbook. You open it like you probably opened all the rest, not knowing what you were about to see, and Steve can't believe he's allowing this to happen. He's so confused in himself he doesn't even feel like he's thinking. Why did he think plain sight was a good hiding spot? If he didn't hide it then it wasn't a secret, right? Oh, fuck him.  

He takes the risk to make his presence known, softly knocking on the open door so he doesn't startle you too badly. The first thing he notices are the tears in your eyes as you look at him for the first time all day. He can't decipher what the tears mean for you, but his stomach flips with his own interpretation in mind. 

"Steve.." 

"I'm sorry—" 

A small huff escapes you at your sudden burts to each other and Steve knows. That look in your eyes he couldn't make out earlier. Those eyes he's etched into his own, blanketed in tears, are also filled with admiration. 

He releases a light sigh and starts explaining himself. "For once I can't positively say I know what you're thinking. It wasn't meant to be exactly the way it turned out somehow." He hates how vulnerable this feels, which is a bit ironic if he lets himself think about it. He takes a deep breath and decides to take another (arguably bigger) risk, "I couldn't stop myself. I know how that sounds believe me, but honestly. I just couldn't get you out of my head now matter how hard I tried to. You've been there for me so much I'm not even sure you fully realize how much you've helped me. Hearing you talk about yourself so negatively? I don't know, I just felt that I needed to help you see how beautiful you are." Steve looks over at you and the tears are streaming down your face, he didn't know they could be so enamoring. 

You can barely choke out his name and he's thinking the worst. But when you follow it with a soft kiss to his lips, he feels like he can finally breathe. Foreheads pressed against each other he smiles the most he ever has before. "What can I say? I found my muse." 

[merakiui]

Oh so real!! Aaa I would love to learn more about RSA. It's been, like, what? 4 and a half years now? They've gotta give us something eventually!! (coping) I do think in general we should get more fun traveling events. I know we're getting those obviously with the hometown events, but I'd love to learn some more about the world that isn't the few countries surrounding Sage's Island? Like we still have no idea where Sam's hometown (Port O' Bliss) is! Though considering what Sam's twisted from maybe they could be saving it for something like halloween??? They probably won't tbh but it WOULD be really cool.

I want to update and say I unfortunately did Not pull b7 eel cards (Jade got me to about 87 before the banners ended, no chance to pull on Floyd 💔 so greedy) so I'm handing in my Jade lovers card and twirling his poor twin around. Floyd wouldn't do me and my savings like Jade did. Trust. This does remind me actually to reread some of your Floyd fics ,, it HAS been awhile I fear

It is a really cool feature!! And AAAA I LOVE BARB !! We share,, many fictional men. Right down to my poor poor childhood crush on Kyoya. Reiji though has plagued my brain for YEARS I would love to see what all you think of him if you ever do read a full translation!! There's been fan-made english patches made actually for the first two Dialovers games on the vita if you have a pc and patience with the silly silly world of emulators. It's how I did his Haunted Dark Bridal route :-) and goodness what a trip that game is!! Ohh Reiji and Laito the interesting little critters you are,,,,

Vampires though in general,, auughfhh,, I think about vampire fish a good bit honestly. I can't remember rn if I've stumbled across any works like that but maybe I should check ao3 after this,,, for science. of course. Also don't worry about answering these quickly or anything. You could respond to this in a month and I'd still have the same joy reading your response as I would if you'd responded immediately. So always take your time.

(Also I wasn't sure how to throw this into my ask, but have you ever shared your twst friend codes here? If not, would you be open to doing so? If you aren't it's totally chill!! But I'd been wondering for awhile :]! )

- :3 anon

Begging twst for an RSA event!! OTL I want to see the inside of RSA and see more characters from there,, more Neige and Che'nya!!! Omg and it would be so fun to learn more about places beyond Sage's Island and the other areas nearby. I would love more Sam crumbs, especially hometown crumbs!! Thinking about a Princess and the Frog inspired Halloween event,,,, AAAAA THAT WOULD BE SO AMAZING!!! OTL OTL hoping with all of my heart for something.....

No eels... (◞‸◟；) I am sorry you couldn't bring either of them home. Those rotten eels!!! ( ｡ •`ᴖ´• ｡) how can they be so troublesome and slippery!!! Friendship ended with Jade. Floyb is the new bestie and he would never treat you or your savings in such a disrespectful manner! Certainly not in the way Jade did. I hope he will comfort you more than Jade ever could. <3

We are on the same wavelength, :3 anon!!! Immaculate taste as always for us hehehe!! We are passing the fictional men around and letting them spin in our brains like conveyor belt sushi! I definitely want to learn more about Reiji because he was one of the brothers I sort of,,,, ignored due to my lack of interest. ^^;;; but now I am very intrigued. What do you MEAN he creates drugs and potions and other nefarious things!!!! I fear I am not immune to a cordial smile and the drugs slipped into my tea (winking and nudging Reiji). How terrible it would be if attractive vampire with glasses did that to me...... uuwaaaa,,, I want to be able to play those fan-made patches!!!! One day I shall have a PC that allows me to unlock full gamer potential like Idia. >:D haunted dark bridal route sounds so fascinating... 👀

AND LAITO!!!! Dare I say,,,,, what if Cater x Laito crossover!!!! Cater in Laito's outfit,,,, VAMPIRE CATER?!?!?!?!?!?! OTL my brain chemistry was irreversibly altered when I first watched that church altar scene in the anime. LAITO, THE VAMPIRE THAT YOU ARE!!!!! Truly the most interesting of critters.

Vampire fish my beloveds. AAAA I just love vampires. <3 gothic vampire Azul is amazing, but I also love modern-day vampire Floyd....... and of course vampire Jade who loves playing with the cute vampire hunter who is after him. Many thoughts for those three. May you find plentiful vampire works in your very scientific ao3 search!!!

UUWAAA you're too kind and patient,,, 🥺 thank you so very much... I would feel so terrible if I responded as late as a month later!!! orz but it's a relief to know you would still be happy to read my thoughts. Please also take your time in replying!! There is never any rush.

:o I haven't shared it before!! Here it is below! Feel free to add me as a friend! My profile is very Rollo as of this moment. I hope my level 105 tako card can be of use in battle. 🐙 ✨

[pynkhues]

I recently read an article in which Quentin Tarantino stated that fewer movie stars exist as a result of "Marvel movies in Hollywood." I think Jennifer Aniston made a similar argument before saying that there are no longer any movie stars. I'm not sure what that means. I can think of a lot of movie stars right now, such as Zendaya, Timothee Chalamet, and Zoey Deutch etc. what do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and Quentin's comments.

QuillBot's

Months ago, when you sent me this ask, anon, I wrote out a really long reply and as soon as I hit post, my laptop crashed and ate the answer, and I was so annoyed at myself for not saving my reply, that I couldn't bring myself to try and re-write an answer. I'm really sorry for that, especially because I think this is such an interesting ask (or well, two asks, because I think the death of the movie star and the impact Marvel's had on the broader concept of a movie star, are kinda two different things).

I've been thinking about it a bit again recently though, particularly as the Oscar race gears up, and Jacob Elordi and Charles Melton''s respective stars are rising in an industry currently desperate to find the new young Hollywood male 'talent', and I've been thinking about it again because honestly?

I agree with Jennifer Aniston, I think the movie star is dead.

We are a long, long way from Golden Age Hollywood where actors like Cary Grant and Marilyn Monroe could captivate a public imagination in a way that translated to big box office effect, after all. Hell, we're even out of New Hollywood, an era dominated by names like Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, and Jane Fonda, and the Blockbuster era with Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone and Harrison Ford.

My original reply went into a lot of the different reasoning as to why this is (like with many things, I don't think there's any one reason for it), in particular how the advent of streaming has changed our relationship with films and TV shows, how the saturation of the market has diluted the staying power of celebrities, how social media and the perceived accessibility of celebrities removes personal mystique which in turn removes intrigue and increases a sense of entitlement, and the fact that so many people having stopped going to the cinema means that the experiential element of seeing a film in a setting larger than life has been diminished.

I think call out culture plays a role too, with any actor on the rise being torn down by tweets they made eight, nine or ten years ago impacting how their star rises, I think the dismantling of the studio system (which is a good thing!) also harmed actors in the long run as studios stopped investing the same resources into making and training stars (they used to be able to sing, dance and act! Now some can barely even act!), and I think, of course, the rise of prestige TV changed the industry substantially (after all, movie stars were movie stars - they traditionally did not, and would not, do TV, which created a clear class structure in terms of screen-based storytelling).

And yeah, I think the language shift from film and TV to content has done irrepairable damage to the artistry of filmmaking and the consideration of a movie star as an actor at the top of their field instead of an actor with the most Insta followers or YouTube subscribers (after all, if everything's content, isn't it the same thing? [no lol]).

Which I guess is kind of where Quentin Tarantino's argument comes in, right? What he's saying is that Marvel's made it so that the IP - the content itself - is the star, not the actor, and I'd say he's probably right with that.

Think of it this way - back in the New Hollywood/Blockbuster era, Harrison Ford was the movie star - he was leading new franchises left-right-and-centre between Star Wars and Indiana Jones, sci fi epics like Blade Runner, leading action thrillers like Patriot Games, The Fugitive and Clear and Present Danger and getting nominated for Oscars for Witness.

He was a movie star in every sense of the word because you could hinge a film - one with a new concept, not just remakes or sequels - on him and be virtually guaranteed a success. He was what sold the tickets, the director just hopefully had to make something good enough people would leave the cinema glad they saw.

Tarantino's argument is the Marvel model - - hell, even the new Star Wars properties, turned the franchise into the star, for better or worse, which means original films can't compete because nobody knows the IP. Back when Harrison Ford was at the top of his game, his name was what helped original films including smaller, standalone works like Witness find an audience, but the studios have changed that. Capitalism has changed that.

Properties with existing audiences and deep pockets for merch were prioritised, only now those franchises are faltering and you've got a generation trained that 'cinematic events' are reserved for blockbusters in established universes, instead of taking a risk on a new film because you know you love an actor who's in it.

Do I think we could go back?

Maybe, but probably not.

I think the place we are now in the history of cinema / TV / 'content' means you can't make a movie star anymore because I think the industry is simply so different that no actor can break through in the same way that even Leonardo DiCaprio could 30 years ago. That industry doesn't exist anymore, actors aren't guaranteed draws (Bones and All proved that for Timothee Chalamet, and Wonka I think could go a similar way), or they have to heavily rely on other industries to become household names which I think dilutes them as a pure 'movie star' (Zendaya's a great example of this - I like her a lot, but how many movies has she even been in? They built her career up in peripheral industries long before they tried to sell her as a movie star, and frankly, I'd question her even as a leading actress yet given she's typically only either been in ensemble casts or clear supporting).

It's a whole new world, and yeah, I think the movie star is dead.

[emry-stars-art]

I’m wondering (and not sure if this has been talked about yet in a post I simply missed) about how Abram copes with Andrew’s physical affections (or lack thereof) in your lovely royal AU. With the history behind ‘pretty’ that you described for Abram in that last post, I feel like there is so much potential of him expecting to be touched, even before they are courting (but especially during/after), and wondering why Andrew doesn’t—especially once it’s established that he thinks of Abram as ‘pretty’. They are of different station so it would be so easy for Andrew to act entitled to Abram’s body like so many before, especially with Abram in a position where he’s basically serving him in some way. I wonder if it makes him relieved (due to professionalism/personal comfort at the very beginning) or anxious (due to having no ability to tell what is coming for him/later due to doubting if he is really wanted that way if Andrew doesn’t act the same as his point of reference) or a little bit of both for different reasons.

I imagine Andrew to be both a very tactile person and not necessarily so because he is so very aware of boundaries and only crosses them with invitation or purpose. I wonder how that translates here and how his touch plays into how Abram perceives him (and honestly there’s the whole part too where it’s something they have in common, trampled boundaries and bad associations and bone-deep understanding of such) or if they would ever have a conversation about that where Abram wonders about the curtesy of distance and space he is being given.

I’m like two seconds from passing out bc it’s pretty late here so idk how much sense this ask really makes but I’m having thoughts. I love your AU and your work and hope you have a wonderful day <3

YOU GUYS ALWAYS FIND THE MOST INTRIGUING THINGS TO EXPLORE I LOVE YOU (and your comments/etc, apostrophe-philosophy, are always a joy to read hehe)

(First: find the royal au writing masterpost here 💕)

I’ve been working on/thinking about this ask long enough that I’ve straight up forgotten if this was a thought I had when writing that first post (here) or if you brought it fully to my attention but we can safely assume it’s the latter so thank youuuuu for that truly. I love exploring Abram’s slow inch (and Andrew’s, but he’s had more time to get adjusted) towards finding a healthy relationship with touch 🥲 and oh my GOD don’t let me forget to tell all of you about Abram and gloves

I wrote a scene/lil collection of scenes about Andrew clearing things up here too because I’ve been wanting to explore Abram’s POV for a while 👀 there are references to canon abuse, so take care. As always, sparknotes version and additions below

I LOVE your points about Andrew, I totally agree that once it’s established and he’s allowed, he’s very much a tactile person, he just needs to get there first 💕

We all know for obvious reasons that it never once crosses the prince’s mind for Abram to be anything more than a professional bodyguard, even if he does find him attractive. He’s very good at courtesy and polite distance. How I imagine this goes down in the timeline is this:

1) Nathaniel shows up at Palmetto and he’s never allowed close to important people. Certainly never allowed close enough to touch. Totally safe there. It doesn’t take him long to understand Day really won’t take advantage of him since he never did in Evermore either, so that’s safe. There’s not much else to worry about for that long stretch of time.

2) Nathaniel/Abram becomes the prince’s guard. There’s probably a little anxiety just because there’s plenty of opportunities for the prince to try something, but as time goes on and Andrew keeps the previously mentioned distance, even acting apathetic (as he does), Abram starts to assume that the prince is straight/doesn’t care. It wasn’t as if every single person in Evermore was trying to get at him. Just the ones that wanted to. Obviously, the prince doesn’t want to. It gets to the point that Abram feels comfortable and doesn’t try to constantly watch his own back when he’s on duty.

Then the prince, perhaps feeling a little bold or hopeful or just wanting to say something so he doesn’t keep feeling like he’ll explode, makes a single comment on Abram’s “pretty face”. Even something that could be brushed off as friendly jest, if he really wanted. But Abram completely freezes up. Andrew, of course, notices. He doesn’t try to ask about it then, but he definitely notices. But he assumes that Abram took it as the genuine compliment it was, and that Abram is entirely uninterested or even wary of those advances. So he makes no more comments, he leaves the entire concept as far away as he can get it.

Now that Abram knows the prince finds him pretty, he’s just waiting for Andrew to be the same as everyone else. He didn’t even directly answer to the nobles in Evermore and they were still so bold - but he’s Andrew’s servant in the most direct way, and Andrew is a prince. Surely the prince is even more entitled to him than they were. (When he realizes this is what’s happening, Andrew tells Abram in no unclear terms exactly what is and isn’t expected of him. It takes longer than that for Abram to shake the anxiety he grew up with, but at least after that he can start repeating the prince’s words to himself when he needs to.)

3) that’s cleared up well enough, but then (much, much later) the prince wants to court him. At first Abram can’t think much beyond “there’s no way this is real” but then the more he thinks about it, the more nervous he gets again. He doesn’t know Palmetto courting traditions, what if he’s expected to do something he isn’t ready for. What if now that he’s accepted the courtship he can’t tell Andrew no anymore. It wouldn’t be fair of him to, he thinks, he shouldn’t have agreed so quickly.

But there’s a time they’re out doing whatever courtship things (maybe another horse ride for funsies idk), Abram’s getting nervous about it again, and when Andrew asks for a kiss or to hold his hand, Abram doesn’t answer. He’s also a little confused when Andrew doesn’t just do it anyway, because he hadn’t said no, but Andrew is watching him in the way that usually means Abram is acting too much like he’s at Evermore again. He tells Abram, “Nothing’s changed. You can say no.” And Abram does immediately - not because he doesn’t want whatever he was offered but because he scared himself. Andrew’s still watching him. “Don’t forget that again,” he says. Abram takes a shaky breath. “Yes, prince.”

But as soon as Abram’s past that anxiety for the second and probably final time? Andrew is still as tactile a person as before and gods know Abram is touch starved to hell and back, he’ll take any kind words or touches he can possibly get and he craves them. Specifically from the prince. Who loves to give them.

I’d love to come back and make a fluff post specifically about that point in the timeline if we can collectively come up with enough ideas for said fluff 🥰 for now thanks again for the ask, swear to GOD we’re gonna get these idiots a happy ending, but I’m having way too much fun in the meantime 😂

[aplaceforallmystupidshit]

I’m gonna write down what I liked about The Apothecary Diaries before i excise this thing from my brain completely. Very mild book spoilers I guess? I’ll put it under the cut anyway, just in case

Ultimately the thing I liked most was how I perceived Maomao, as a very low empathy female heroine. I guess I don’t read a ton of books in this type of genre, but I feel like a true low empathy female character, much less a sympathetic heroine, is super rare and I enjoyed experiencing the world from her eyes.

I honestly really loved that there was a really really (really) select few individuals who she would genuinely feel angry or sad on behalf of! When almost anyone else was going thru it she didn’t feel much but like, when her dad was suffering she would get furious on his behalf!! I thought it was really special relationship and showed how much she cared about him, and by extension how little she truly felt for most others. Tbh the only people she really seems to show empathy for are her dad (Loumen, the person she considers her father and who considers her his daughter), and those two palace maid girls? Shisui (my fave!!) and the other one. And maaaaaaybe that girl in season 1 that faked her own death? Even then not really, I think she saw them as kindred spirits more than anything. The fact that even after like ~12 books that list can be counted on one hand means a lot, and makes Maomao an interesting POV character.

Disclaimer that I read the official translations before anyone comes at me for not interpreting based on the Aurikat (sp?) translations. But like, I saw some people in the fan discord talking about she was lying to herself or denying her feelings at times but it super didn’t come off to me like that? Maomao seemed like a very straightforward, borderline aromantic, low empathy, neurodivergent woman. She doesnt feel feelings very strongly, which is a consistent piece of characterization.

Jinshi is fine, tbh. He’s alright as a male lead and the only reason I’ve got 1 eye on the anime is cuz I want to see the lil Moon spirit dance. But like. To be sooooo honest I kinda lost a bit of interest in him once I realized he wasn’t actually a eunuch (so like, book 1 lolol). Thought he was gonna have do some palace intrigue but learned (after truly too many books) he tended to be more the one affected by politics than the one instigating them. It’s a shame, I really wanted to explore gender of a beautiful eunuch attracted to women, but alas, another day.

Last point is that i know I lowkey shit talked Lakan up there but he surprisingly one of the funniest most endearing characters in the entire novel? I didn’t expect to like a deadbeat dad but fuck me, I’m still hopelessly endeared by a wife guy. And the kinda gentle mediation on longing, grief, and rememberance occurring the background of Lakan’s story is one of the things I think I’ll remember most about this series. Lakan, Loulan’s whole deal, and little low empathy Maomao

[theinquisitxor]

April 2024 Reading Wrap Up

I read 6 books in April, which is honestly more than I thought I would get to at the beginning of this month. April's are historically slow reading months for me, and while this was another slower month, I'm happy with what I read. Audiobooks really saved me this month! I read 2 fantasy books, 3 nonfiction (who am I?) and 1 literary fiction.

1.The Book of Doors by Gareth Brown (3.5/5 stars) This was an anticipated new release for me, and I was very intrigued by the premise. This was enjoyable, but there were some things I didn't really care for. This was engaging and easy to read, and if you liked The Cartographers or The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, I think you'd like this. Adult low fantasy

2.The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny, and Murder by David Grann (4/5 stars) I really enjoy survival stories and seafaring stories, so I knew I was going to like this. The audiobook was great, and I liked how this was a shorter nonfiction. I'm not sure how much I like the narrative nonfiction that Grann writes in. Either way, this was a super engaging and entertaining read. Nonfiction audiobook

3.Atomic Habits by James Clear. I was not planning on reading this book in April, but I randomly go interested in it. Overall enjoyable, and interesting to see how we structure our lives around habits.

4.Who Cooked the Last Supper: The Women's History of the World by Rosalind Miles (4/5 stars) I read this 80s feminist nonfiction on audio, and while this could get pessimistic and difficult, I found it to be an engaging read with flashes of humor throughout. I would be interested to see what this book would be like published in the 2020s vs the 1980s. Nonfiction audiobook

5.The Bloody Throne (Hostage of Empire 3) by SC Emmett (5/5 stars) This was the fantastic conclusion to one of my favorite new series. Everything came together in this book and delivered an ending well worth the series. I wasn't sure how the series would end, but it was satisfying and bittersweet. I'm going to be talking about this series for a while. Adult fantasy

6. The Wall by Marlen Haushofer (4.5/5 stars) This is a translated dystopian fiction book about a women who is stuck behind a wall while the rest of the world as ended. She only has a cat, dog, and cow as her companions. She must learn to survive and cope with loneliness. I deeply enjoyed this novel, and found many passages that really stuck with me. Parts of this book got me very emotional.

That's it for April! I'm hoping for a strong reading month this May and summer!

May TBR:

The Familiar by Lehigh Bardugo

The Winners (Beartown 3) by Fredrik Backman

The Language of Trees: A rewilding of literature and landscape

Desert Solitare by Edward Abby

Brave the Wild River (nonfiction audiobook)

The Hedgewitch of Fox Hall by Ana Bright

Song of the Huntress by Lucy Holland

The Witch Collector by Charissa Weaks (my Random TBR Pick for May)

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

I’M BACK MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA COWER IN FEAR FOR I HAVE RETURNED ONCE MORE TO ONCE AGAIN SPEW THE OBVIOUS

Translation: I’m back and I’m making it everyone’s problem

So yes, I saw the new pages, and as it turns out I was right about Sonic! As suspected, he’s hiding how he really feels about his new bodily features, and I think he’ll continue to do so for the rest of the comic. The finale for this series is right around the corner, and this issue is gonna have a lot of Eggman fighting, so based on what we already know… Yeah. Unless Sonic’s development is intended to be kinda rushed or last-minute, I don’t think he’s going to stop faking his optimism. It also has to be remembered that Sonic doesn’t always have to fake said optimism because he is at heart a hero and a snarky little gremlin. During the earlier days of the comic, Sonic was seen being elated at the prospect of Shadow willingly keeping a secret for him. Bro danced and sang all the way home just because someone was being nice to him. But even still, he’ll most likely continue faking his true emotions at least until the very end of the comic when things go back to normal for him. Because at the end of the day, Sonic is a happy little guy who just does what’s best for him and his friends, and that is that.

About the secret base, I honestly find it so funny and so realistic that the Chaotix have to basically beg for new cases in order to pay for their home and the secret base. It’s like families who thought they’d have enough for two homes but then a year or two goes by and they’re like “Oh crap, we’re broke.” It makes so much sense and it’s so funny to me! Meanwhile the others just appreciate the fact that they have a secret base and not the fact that they pay for both homes. 🤣

Chaotix: 🥲 Yeah yeah we’re fine we’re not broke we’re totally alright 👍🥲

OH AND HERE IS SOMETHING I JUST THOUGHT OF. There is of course a reason why the Chaotix have a secret base, and I wondered for a second why they would need it in the first place. They’re detectives, journalists, problem-solvers. In their field of work, it doesn’t take too much effort to become targets of the government. So, in case they got noticed by either GUN or some other important people, they have a back-up place where they could continue their work in secret. I think they specifically anticipated GUN, because they make a point to mention them in their explanation in the newest page. Probably not something SuperEm thought too hard on, but uh. I did. So… Guess I did their job for them???? idk I thought it would be cool to flex my worldbuilding skillz

Now I wanna talk about Rouge here. She, along with Amy, know far more than they let on and I’m wondering if that will have a part to play in Sonic’s story moving forward. In the newest page, we see him standing awkwardly and trying to grasp the fact that his friends knew about him for a while! He figured Tails might have taken the hint a while ago because he knows Tails better than anyone, but Amy?? That’s a different story. The two haven’t properly interacted in a while, almost 2 years (Or maybe 1 year I’m terrible at this) in our time and a week or two in their time. Amy and Rouge have been investigating Dark Gaia and Sonic’s new form for probably a month or so, meaning that they’ve known for a long, long time! I think Knuckles and the Chaotix were the only ones left in the dark the longest. So if Sonic were to find out about this, how would he react?? I’m thinking it wouldn’t be too different to his reaction about Tails and everyone else knowing, but him and Amy have had a rocky relationship status over the years, so it could also be different. I doubt we’ll get to see anything since it doesn’t make much of a difference to the blue blur at this point in the comic, but if we do I’m excited to see how he’ll react!

Now I’m going back to Sonic for a bit because I noticed something intriguing about him in the newest page. In the first panel, we see him standing awkwardly with his hands tied behind his back, fidgeting with his fingers impatiently. Then we see him immediately walk over to Shadow, who’s waiting for him outside. When he opens the curtain, we see him squint upwards towards the sky, a warm light seeping onto his face and his whole stature seeming softer. (For lack of a better word) Thematically, this sequence of movement/expressions is used to indicate a character’s growth, or to just show that they are willing to become better. I mean, that’s my takeaway from that. I’m not a theatre/film professional. All I do is stare at animations and talk about each frame as if I know stuff. But for me that’s the kind of vibe I’m getting from this page, that Sonic is learning or growing, and that he’s willing to step out into the light and be fine with who he is. Earlier on in the comic, he would’ve requested for Shadow to come inside or for him to not be seen by others, but now that he’s been through quite a lot and after being appreciated by the small snowy village, he feels much better about himself and is thus willing to just. Walk outside for a bit and talk to someone. Sonic is learning how to be around people again, learning to trust others with his secrets, and I love that for him.

Again this most likely is not SuperEm’s intention and I highly doubt those were the actual the thematically correct rules, so if anyone is reading this and is a film/comic geek, please Please PLEASE correct me via a reblog or a comment. I need some correction desperately please. I don’t wanna spew incorrect information.

Now, I would go ahead and talk about Shadow because he clearly has a lot going on in his brain, but OH MY GOD THIS THING IS HUGE. PROBABLY THE BIGGEST ASK IVE EVER WRITTEN HERE ON THIS FINE WEBSITE CALLED TUMBLR. So please do yourself a favor and give your eyes a break because holy crap I did not skip any corners for this one. Your pupils will thank you later, I promise. Go read a real book or go outside or something, please.

Anywhizzle, thank you so so so much for reading this whole thing, and have a good day/night!

(Also SuperEmeralds, just know that I adore your outdoor backgrounds so so much and they are not being overlooked. Your background skills are amazing and I’m so hype for what you have in store for the next few pages)

i think it is interesting how split the opinions are on sonic having learned nothing throughout the story and sonic finally having accepted his flaw and adapting. the mirror snap has divided the thoam theory community like no other askfjhasjkfhajk

who says they're paying for that run down place though? trust me i think super hard about literally everything, im sometimes embarrased abt it bc literally no one ever points most of my little details out but it makes me happy to connect dots so i just keep doing it

though sonic already reacted in a way, he knows everyone knew. granted the explaination happened off screen because quite frankly i didnt want the same conversation to happen twice back to back with the end of issue 8 and the beginning of issue 9, its better to just fill in the blanks yourself with everything.

the way i wrote sonic's emotions after waking up hopefully convey everything going through his mind well. there's a whole lot more pages to this so rest assured it's not over! your interpretation definitely makes sense! though i'd def disagree with the idea that in an earlier state of the comic sonic would've called for shadow to come inside? if his secret came out earlier in the comic he would still have reacted similarly and learned his lesson equally. the difference with the way it is in the comic is that he learned more about himself, and shadow, by dragging out the resolution to his (non)problem

thanks btw i love drawing environments and ur gonna get a good view of some really cool stuff soon ^_^

btw i have a name.. u can call me talaka, it's a little awkward to be called by my @ lol

[spoiledleaff]

No no you cannot just post that 'silly little hc'??? And not expect me to ask you about it??? I need the rest of your lecture notes ASAP lol

✿ — yesss! haha! i was really, really hoping that someone might be intrigued enough to maybe ask me about this further; it's honestly so near and dear to my heart, especially since diving deep into storytelling and character development is a massive passion of mine! :)) for a little bit of context, this ask is in reference to >>this<< post i made briefly going over my whole hc for the two ep! :D

anyways!! this post is gonna be a massive theory/headcannon post that will be focusing on the sleep token ep, two, and the first song, calcutta, as well as my hc that these songs are quite literally the basis for ii's backstory! :D considering that nazareth and jericho are two of my favorite songs in all of sleep token's discography, i'll most likely address those two songs in a separate post! :) for now, i just wanna throw these thoughts out there, haha!

✿ — TWO.

well, first of all, where does this hc originate from? i'm so glad you asked! :D this hc stems from the fact that every song from this ep are the only songs on spotify to list a 'vessel ii' as a composer alongside 'vessel'. to my knowledge! calcutta, nazareth, and jericho are the only songs in the entire sleep token discography that lists a 'vessel ii' as a composer alongside 'vessel' or 'vessel 1'. naturally, we can assume that this is our one and only ii! :)

and, of course, the ep is named 'two'! :) yes, of course, this ep is the band's second compilation of music, so the name is a little bit on the nose, haha! but i also like to think — in the same vein that this ep is ii's backstory — the ep one is vessel's backstory :) which, who knows, haha! maybe i'll do my own narrative analysis of the one ep after this >:Dc

✿ — CALCUTTA.

↳ tw + cw : discussions of death, jealousy + possessive thoughts.

✿ — first up on the ep is calcutta! :D gosh, i do so love this song, haha! but, first of all, what does calcutta mean?

✧ — as a general idea, calcutta is actually the largest city and the capital in west bengal of india! it's a bit of a melting pot of sorts, especially for practicing different religions such as hinduism, muslims, and, of course, christianity. though, since 2001, the city has officially changed its name to 'kolkata'.

↳ another interesting thing that i discovered while doing some extra research for this post is in regards to the etymology behind the name 'kolkata'! :D the word is initially taken from the name 'kôlikata' which was the name of one of three villages in the area that merged together to form the city of kolkata. in regards to the etymology of the name, 'kolikata' is thought to have been a variation of the bengali word 'kalikkhetrô' which translates to 'field of kali'.

↳ okay, so!! interestingly enough, kali — also known as kalika — is a prominent figure in hindu mythology and religion! kali is oftentimes worshipped as a divine protector and as one who bestows liberation; she is associated with aspects of mortal life such as time, change, creation, power, and!! the most fascinating bit!! she is also associated with destruction and death. this little tidbit of information becomes even more interesting when considering the next song featured in this ep, nazareth. but!! back to calcutta! :)

✧ — additionally, there was also a dungeon stationed in fort william, calcutta in the 1700's that held british prisoners of war after the fort was overtaken in a seige. the dungeon was known as the 'black hole of calcutta', and a written account from one of the soldiers that was imprisoned there detailed brutal conditions that were so inhuman and cramped that they had its prisoners dying from suffocation and heat exhaustion. to support this reference, in the opening shots for the calcutta music video, vessel is shown literally crawling out of an unknown crevice, presumably a hole. haha! i don't know why i worded that so weirdly, but you get the point! :)

✿ — these possible little sneak-peeks of the possible history behind the name of this song are so fascinating to me, haha! but, what about the actual song?

✧ — of course, this is all up my personal feelings and interpretations about this song, but i like to think that calcutta is a song about hopelessness and about experiencing a growing sense of despair that can only come from loving another person that you cannot obtain. as much as i would love to break this song down lyric by lyric and piece by juicy little piece, i think i'm going to focus on specific lyrics and sections that really resonate with me! :D ...which is apparently almost the entirety of the song, haha!

' i am caught, tangled in // wrapped and quartered '

↳ when i first heard this lyric, i was immediately reminded of the black hole of calcutta. to be caught, to be tangled in, only to be executed in a brutal manner that was typically reserved only for individuals who had committed high treason against the kingdom of england. when dissecting it, it's an absolutely morbid and grim line that opens this entire ep!

' and i ache for your eyes and the way you breathe // and i wake, say your name // and i wake, say your name '

↳ personally, these lines scream!! unyielding yearning + unrequited love. especially considering that this line follows after vessel singing about how 'for just a moment // missing pieces find me'?? it feels like every slightly good emotion or feeling that's described in this song is almost immediately crushed by a haunting reminder of how temporary that sensation is.

' you are more than warm belief // melting skywards '

↳ something that i find to be one of the more interesting little references in this ep is that two of the three songs hold roots in christianity + and even calcutta holds a lot of religious symbolism and ties to hinduism. this line feels like religious symbolism being directed to a mortal body—one i can only assume might be vessel. this happens a lot throughout the course of this ep, where there are multiple lyrics that hold heavy references to religious symbolism and/or religious imagery. but there's something so distinctly mortal about how these lyrics are executed, that associating these lyrics with sleep just feels completely incorrect. at least to me!! a gentle reminder that this is all my own person headcannon :)

↳ i'd like to specifically bring your attention towards the terminology that's used in these lyrics! i believe that ii saying that vessel is 'more than warm belief' is ii saying that vessel is more than what sleep is trying to make of him; he is his own person, his own identity that is more than just his devotion to sleep. now, my favorite part is this next bit! 'melting skywards'. sleep token is known for their constant references to water as a form of symbolism, and i think that it's no different here! this might be a bit of an extra long stretch, but i think that ii is worried that vessel's 'warm belief' towards sleep will melt him—ii is worried that vessel's devotion might quite literally be the death of him, or at least the death of his identity, instead choosing to leave ii behind and become completely enveloped in sleep's identity.

' more than silence broken // i'm whole again // for just a moment // 'till the morning comes '

↳ this line feels like a small snippet into vessel's and ii's relationship together, specifically their bonding through music as their time together is 'more than silence broken'. it's through these moments in time where ii feels whole again with vessel and the music that they've made by his side.

↳ i think the most interesting part of this line is the lyric ''till the morning comes'. my favorite thought behind sleep's and vessel's relationship is that sleep is the dominant force during the night, whereas vessel is the dominant side during the day. however, considering that sleep — especially during this era of sleep token's music — is considered a widely negative and toxic personality in their relationship with vessel, wouldn't ii look forward to the daytime?? a time of the week where sleep isn't such a domineering presence in both his and vessel's life?? well! i like to think that this song takes place early in vessel's borderline infatuation with sleep, so even the hours of daylight would be spent with vessel obsessing over sleep and possibly ignoring his relationship with ii in favor of his relationships with sleep and his own personal lover—more on this young lady next!! >:Dc

' oh, she said you'd better believe it // i said you don't know // oh, you said you'd better be there // i said you don't even know '

↳ now, we've finally come to a relatively popular theory in terms of vessel's life before sleep's influence—the possibility of his partner! :) now i will say that i do agree with the theory that vessel did have a longterm partner before sleep and the other vessels hehehe--! especially when considering the music videos for jaws, the way that you were, and possibly even the love that you want and the couple of feminine actors that make an impactful and/or reoccurring appearance in sleep token's music videos!

↳ okay! time to break this puppy down >:)c there are three separate sets of pronouns here — 'she', 'you', and 'i' — so let's identify who might be talking! i believe that 'she' is referring to vessel's partner, 'you' is in reference to vessel, and 'i' is ii. i believe that this verse establishes ii's jealousy towards vessel's partner — something that sleep will weaponize against them both in nazareth.

✧ — ' she said you'd better believe it // i said you don't know ' : to me this feels like vessel's partner is trying to address ii's jealousy, affirming that they are here to stay in vessel's life whether ii likes it or not + ii dismissing them, 'you don't know'.

✧ — ' you said you'd better be there // i said you don't even know ' : this feels like borderline damage control to me, which would make sense if we consider this first half to be from vessel's pov. vessel can see the animosity between ii and his partner. when vessel says, 'you'd better be there', i think he's referring to ii's presence in his life. you'd better be here, you'd better stay with me, etc. etc. and when ii replies, 'you don't even know', i think this is said with the opposite intentions of when ii was dismissing vessel's partner. here, i think ii is almost comforting vessel; his intentions are more genuine when he's addressing vessel, while remaining more hurtful when regarding vessel's partner. i think that this is where sleep finds ii.

✿ — to put it all together, i think that ii cherishes his time spent with vessel during the night, because it's just them! no partner and, at this time, sleep's influence is still small in vessel's life. it's just them. but his attentions are split up — it's being wrapped and quartered — between being with vessel, tolerating his partner, and beginning to catch the eye of sleep themselves. but, in these moments, when it's just ii and vessel together in the dead night, ii feels whole. during the day, vessel seeks out his partner, but in the night, vessel seeks out ii—his missing pieces find him, even for just a moment. however, even in the morning, when vessel moves on, ii is still waking up saying vessel's name. in conclusion, while sleep and their influences might be vessel's—vessel is ii's calcutta; he is ii's prison that ii willingly crawls back into every night, just to have a moment where it is just the two of them. and i think that it is in this moment in time where sleep extends their influence to ii, intending to weaponize ii's jealousy and possessive thoughts to bring vessel closer to sleep.

✿ — and that's it! :D that's my analysis of calcutta from the ep, two! :)) as a friendly reminder, this is just my own interpretation of the lyrics through a strictly narrative lense :) i don't think this could be actual sleep token canon, haha! i just think that this would make a very fun and interesting story for my own selfish reasons, haha! i'll still probably make another post for nazareth and jericho, but please feel free to let me know what you think of this silly little analysis in the mean time! :D i always love hearing other people's opinions and thoughts on these sorts of topics, haha!