#and his situation as

[candyskiez]

God the jonelias dynamic really is insane huh. What if you'd spent your entire life being blamed for things you didn't do. What if you'd spent your entire life very aware people didn't want you around, that you hurt people just by existing too close to them. You are constantly under the impression you're being judged or mocked or excluded. Everyone else is laughing at a joke and you have no idea what it is. So you sit away from everyone and you pretend you're smarter than them and they just don't get you, so you don't have to admit they just don't like you. Because you don't know how to be likable and you don't think you could be. So clearly they just don't understand what you're saying. Obviously.

And you're searching for answers, for safety, for some way to defend yourself against what could be anywhere. What could just catch you and steal you from yourself and ruin your life, again and again. And someone died in front of you, and you couldn't do anything. You can't shake being that small. That helpless. Sitting on the sidelines, not knowing how to do anything. You want, so badly, to be at the center where you can fix it. Where you won't be small and scared and always hurting. So you join the magnus institute and you meet a man who sees through you.

He treats you like you're special. Like you aren't some stupid, annoying know it all who fumbles through everything. Like you actually know what you're talking about. He takes you seriously. He's dismissive and cagey but he seems fascinated by what you have to say, seems to enjoy prodding you for thoughts. He seems to be interested in you. Really, truly interested in you. You love it. You've never impressed the authority figures in your life. You've never made them think you're special. You are beginning to realize you love feeling like you actually know what you're talking about.

And then he promotes you. You know you aren't qualified. You know your friend could do so much better. But he's so sure that you know what you're doing, he's so sure that you can do this, and that you're the only one who can, and it makes an awful selfish little part of you preen because deep down you want that. You know you shouldn't accept it. You know you absolutely cannot do this and everyone's going to find out, but you want so badly to be taken seriously, to stop being the punchline or the helpless little kid outside that damn door. So you take the promotion, and suddenly the knowledge of all the worst things in the world is at your fingertips. It feels wrong and ugly and it feels right. You don't know how to feel about it.

You learn more about him. He is not a good person. He would kill, willingly, if it meant he got what he want. He sees you terrified and crumbling and tries to put you together again. Like you're something precious. Praises you just for being alive. (How do you deal with that? You always seem to survive on accident. You always seem to survive at the cost of someone else. Yet he smiles at you, like you're incredible, like you deserved it. Like he's impressed with you. You think about it a lot, whenever you can't fall asleep.) He's either soft and professional or cruel and biting. You hate him more and more. He is the only person you have. You desperately wish he wasn't, and you go to him anyway. He could make all of it make sense if you just could push him. But you can't, and he doesn't. But he gives you this approving little nod whenever your humanity slips through your fingers. You think you hate him more every time. You think you hate yourself for being relieved he's not scared. For not blaming you. And then you hate him again for making you this.

And then he's gone. He turned you into something else. Something that nobody wants, that not even the kindest person can put up with, and then he just left you alone. You're starving and you're scared and he's gone and he could make it make sense. But he doesn't. And you think about it. Again and again. You think you hate him for leaving you. You used to wish you'd never see him again. You think there might be something wrong with you.

You finally see him again. He's proud of you. You hate him for it. You demand his guidance, his patience, his anything like you used to. He gives it so much easier than before. Because he's proud. Because you've earned it. Because you're ready. You think you hate him. There's something else, too. Something painful. Something twisted and desperate and born out of the urge to survive and nothing more. It isn't love, but it isn't not love either.

You escape. You're free. You open a statement.

And congratulations. You're special. He favored you. He was intrigued by you, adored you, shaped you with his own hands, all to ruin the world. He tells you it isn't your fault as he uses you to destroy the world. You were the joke the whole time. He used you, like you knew he would, and it was so much worse than it ever imagined. All that fascination, all that adoration, it was all- it wasn't even fake. It just was for the worst reason it possibly could've been. You hate him more than you ever have in that moment, as he praises you, as he's so so proud of you, as he tells you you'll get used to it. You hate him. You hate yourself so much more. You want him dead.

He does not hate you. He finds you as fascinating as he did before. He talks about you like you're a work of art. You might be sick. You think you almost wish he was a good person, that he was anyone else, so you could love it. You think a part of you does, sometimes. That dumb little part of you that never went away. That will always be that starving man that just wants to be taken seriously. You think you always wanted to be the center of attention. Maybe this is his twisted form of love, translated through layers of fears and wanting to hurt.

And even in his last moments, he doesn't hate you. He fears you. He is so very afraid. He doesn't want to die. He begs for his life. But his last words are just....good luck. That's all. Nothing more. The one person you hate more than anything. The one person you wish you never met. And he is the only person who looks at you and feels no anger, no blame, nothing at all. He looks at you stealing everything he's ever worked for, and just says "Good luck." The one person you hate more than anyone else, who ruined your life more than anyone else, and he is the only person who has never blamed you for anything. He is the only person who has ever forgiven you for every horrible, unjustifable thing you've done. He is the only person who looks at you at your worst, betraying everyone you have left, and understands. In some horrible, cruel way, he understands. He does not hate you. You don't know how you wanted him to react. But he's dead. He's gone. And you do not have time to feel about it until you wake up somewhere else.

They don't know yet another reason why you're so upset. They don't know that the only person who could ever truly forgive you, could ever truly understand why you did what you did, was the worst man you'd ever met. And you can never unknow that.

Which I mean. First off, gay. But second off how do you even begin to unpack that. Jesus christ.

[birdmenmanga]

they are putting yaoi in the city art museum and censoring nsfw content with heat-responsive material so you have to put your hands on it to see dick

[kendyroy]

Seeing Logan in the TVA makes me laugh so hard for some reason? Like I know he’s lived to see technology evolve and stuff, but there’s something so funny about a guy from the 1800s standing in some kind of retro-futuristic timey wimey agency to me. Man is confused as hell.

like what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[noxious-fennec]

I love how being obsessed with livestreamed Minecraft role play for a period of my life has granted me access to seemingly endless interpersonal dramas I can tap into at 7 in the morning. Ex-girlfriend at the function pov

[chloesimaginationthings]

Get real five nights at Freddy’s..

(Original post @/handji_kyle on Twitter)

[keferon]

Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules

Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day

[mioakem]

dream almost calling tubbo tommy oh he’s never beating the obsessed allegations

[zooophagous]

I wish people understood more that animals go through puberty just like people do, and that "teen" animals will have new and often unpleasant behaviors as they grow and try and figure out their place in the world.

Many of the animals I see being rehomed are right at the one to two year old mark, when maturity is still an ongoing process and their behaviors get more intense. Be patient with them! They DO grow out of it!

Aster was a holy terror until he was almost 3 and now he's the best cat I've ever owned. If you can't deal with these changes, adopt a mature animal instead of getting a puppy or kitten, because it's more likely than not they will have a turbulent teen phase.

[slasherfantasy]

Fuck-or-die sex pollen fic, where Ghost insists on being the one to fuck you and help you through the toxin.

The others think it's because he has a thing for you (he does), but only Price really understands why Ghost is volunteering. Because there was a time where Ghost also didn't have a say in whether or not someone was inside him, where his choice was also 'be fucked, or die'.

And at least if it's Ghost fucking you, he can make sure that it's as gentle and kind as you deserve. He can make sure it doesn't hurt, that it feels good, that you're given all the respect and dignity possible. You can't consent right now, but he's going to ensure you aren't traumatized like he was

And if he can do this for you, and be gentle, and kind, it proves that he really hasn't become who Roba wanted him to be, right?

[haunted-xander]

AA loves their siblings huh.

Probably missed some too!

[doctorsiren]

I keep thinking about that AU concept where Ford goes to find Stan *before* he ever went to Gravity Falls and ough these brothers just make me so ill ☹️

[kenchann]

love this dude already 🎃

image ver

[knightedpuppy]

big strong knights covered in blood looking at you like a feral animal. that’s the post

[canisalbus]

✦ Come hell or high water ✦

[baskeigh-ball]

Raph’s adjustment period to living with the Hamatos was stressful for everyone involved

Not pictured: Mikey having a heart attack and Donnie frantically trying to remember every location that’s best for hiding a body. Yes, he’s done the math.