#and his fiancee loves train schedules

[the-crooked-library]

On Horror, Queerness, Mirrors, and Dracula

Your wish is my command (you may or may not regret this). 

Here’s the thing - I love horror, and I love patterns, and I think the best horror is always in some sense symmetrical.  It might not be obvious, but what’s the point of staring into an abyss if you can’t see your own face reflected back?  The symmetry itself comes in any number of different twists, whether it is familial, communal, erotic, or individual, and most of these apply to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. 

The centre of our novel rests on the Harkers.  So, starting with Jonathan - his experience in Transylvania is a twisted version of his life back home.  Dracula is reserved but eloquent, seemingly caring and occasionally affectionate, he reads train schedules and they spend hours upon hours in conversation; which is a dark mirror to Jonathan’s train schedule-loving, passionate but serious Mina.  It may even be said that the Count is re-enacting a caricature of traditional heteronormative domesticity - he maintains the household, waits on his guest himself, and blows him kisses from the stairs.  His possessiveness of Jonathan is the only way a vampire like Dracula is capable of understanding the bond Jonathan shares with Mina.  The Count states that he, too, feels love; but he is written by a closeted gay man in the late 19th century, so his imitation of married life is both a lie and a tragedy.  He is a shorthand for forbidden, wrong, and corrupting desires. 

At the same time, Mina herself also has a same-sex connection in the beginning of the story, and her relationship with Lucy mirrors the relationship between Jonathan and Dracula.  They cling to each other, in a sense; despite being excited about the prospect of their impending marriages, there is some trepidation associated with this new stage in life.  A common part of a dowry used to be a shroud, simply due to the frequency at which Victorian wives died in childbirth soon after the wedding; and even provided a survival, the transition to married life was still a loss of innocence.  As such, Lucy’s affection for Mina is the last expression of her girlhood, and she herself is the personification of Mina’s.  Lucy is, therefore, the direct antithesis of the Count; her death and subsequent rising change Mina the same way that Dracula does Jonathan, establishing a firm duality between the Harkers and their respective vampires. 

The other characters are reflections of each other, as well; the suitors defend while the brides terrify, Van Helsing wants to preserve life while Renfield wishes to consume it - and even further, the old Hungarian lady cares enough about  a stranger to give Jonathan a cross for protection, while Lucy’s own mother lets Dracula into the house herself, selfishly ignorant of her daughter’s needs and the doctor’s orders.  Another parallel is drawn again between Jonathan and Renfield, who represents directly what he could have been, had he not escaped from Dracula’s grasp; which makes Renfield’s vehement, last-ditch attempt to protect Mina perhaps all the more poignant.  In him, she sees the resilience of Jonathan’s humanity; while he gets to see exactly what she could become after her turning  - in Dracula himself.  These dualities are integral to the story’s thematic structure, and therefore inextricable from each character’s development. 

There is really too much to say about each individual dynamic to fit into one rant, but for the current purposes, I can forgo the details.  They all converge as it is on Jonathan and Mina, and thus, the central theme of this story is devotion.  If Jonathan had truly broken, like Renfield, Mina would have stayed by his side; and if she had fully turned, like Dracula, he would have adored whatever shred of her still remained.  In madness and in death, in happiness and sorrow, in sickness and in health - until the echoes start to sound like wedding vows. 

@stripedshirtgay​

@bluberimufim​

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: Could you do a Jude x reader where his fiancee comes to his training and plays soccer with him and the team but she sucks at soccer so they let her win? And it’s all cute and fluffy 🥹 (anonymous)

Word Count: 361 words

(author's note: thanks for the request, love !! it's quite short, but i hope you all enjoy it nevertheless 🫶🏻)

Since they had gotten engaged a few months ago, Jude had begged Y/N to come to training with him. She had a busy schedule, meaning she had to turn his offers down most of the time. However, one of her work meetings had been cancelled, allowing her to join her fiancée at his training session.

As she walked into the building, she smiled at the receptionist who let her into the main area that led to the astroturf where the players were training. She walked through the open gate and was immediately spotted by Jude, who shouted her name and jogged over to her.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, happy that she had finally joined him. The rest of the team headed over, all of them greeting and saying hello to Y/N. She was well-loved by the team, and they were all excited to see her. She sat down in the allocated viewing area and began to watch the boys perform their training drills.

After a while, they had gotten into small matches, and Jude’s team decided to attempt to get Y/N to join them. However, she’d never kicked a ball in her life, let alone play a game of football, so she was insistent that she could just watch from the sidelines.

Jude insisted upon her playing, and she caved and stood on the pitch with them. The boys all went easy on her, and she started to have fun. It was eventually the final game, and Jude had passed Y/N the ball. 

She was stood right in front of the net and decided to attempt to shoot. The goalkeeper could’ve easily saved the shot. However, he decided to make it seem like he had missed it. The ball rolled into the back of the net, and the team cheered loudly.

Jude ran over to Y/N and effortlessly swept her off the ground, spinning her around in celebration. The rest of the team was chanting her name and high-fiving her.

Y/N smiled at the encouragement, enjoying the moment. She made a mental note to join Jude at training again sometime.

[cereusblue]

https://gofund.me/96bce824

Hi, all. So, I've had a day from hell and I'm too exhausted to re-explain on another platform. But here, I'll copy paste the story here. TLDR at the bottom. If you can't help, pass it on. Literally everything helps. Love you all.

Good day all, thank you for stopping your busy day to check my page.

Let me lay out the situation as best I can.

First off, some background for myself and my family. My fiancee and I only have(had) one functioning car between us when we took in a family member of his in an emergency CPS case. We are trying our hardest to take care of her and teach her how to be a person, but our schedules and only having one vehicle has made that a struggle. She has gotten a job just last week and is working hard to get on her feet. It's great and we are very proud of her! It's part time for the time being while she learns how to manage finances and how the world works.

However, since October things have started taking a turn for the worse. Between my fiancee and I, we both worked minimum wage and in October I bent over to put on a shoe and my back made a horrible crack noise. I went to the ER in immense pain and despite having insurance, I still got dumped with a hefty bill that to this day I am still trying to pay off. I have gone through physical therapy as requested by my doctor, since he didn't want to operate on someone of my age. However, it did nothing but agitate the problem. While I can now move around again, bending over and lifting anything past 15 pounds is strenuous. I'm in pain every single day and even sitting up is difficult most days. I can't stand up for long anymore before it becomes too much on my back. But things continue to happen, as they do. I was set to come back to see my surgeon this year but on Dec 29th in the last hour of the day, my job decided that an AI system could completely take over my job and laid me off. Getting unemployment as well as answers back from my previous work has been very difficult. My benefits were cut off with no chance to refill medications or see my surgeon. So, now my continued treatment to fix my back on top of my other health issues have all been put on pause. I've been working for almost two years now to get treatment and figure out what's wrong with my health, but I am now on a desperate search for a new job.

Which leads us to today. We are already strapped for money, and on a trip to an interview and my fiancee going to work, we got taken down a gravel road that looked deceptively fine. Driving across, the ice was far deeper than it appeared and it destroyed the grill, bumper, and wheel well (I believe that's what it's called) aka part of the frame that covers the front wheels broke and are hanging. That's not where it ends. So, I took the car to get it temporarily fixed so we could hopefully figure something out to get repairs done. The car got a temporary fix, and then I proceeded to take the car to pick up my fiancee from work. He and I began our drive back home, and as we were passing train tracks a doe jumped out into the road way too close to us. She only came into view as she appeared in the lights of the car, immediately getting bodied by the car. As you can see from the image, she destroyed the hood of the car and much more. I feel horrible for the poor thing and I hope she went quickly, noticing the fur and blood on the front bumper. We managed to get the car home, but the check engine light came on. This car is a Toyota prius. Anyone who knows anything about a prius knows they are basically tin cans. So, the worry is that the cooling system is busted now too. This will exponentially increase the amount we need to pay to repair the vehicle.

The worst part is, is that this is the only car we have to go to work and for me to go to interviews. I do have a car, but it's not in running condition right now. The poor thing is a 1999 and needs some parts replaced that we have not had the funds or availability to get a list of parts and have them replaced. The car also can't move anyway right now and would need towed. The prius is our only vehicle we have, and I don't have the funds to drop on fixing it. Insurance won't pay for it as far as we have been made aware by the body shop because of the type of insurance we have.

So, this is the current estimate we have to work with in regards to repairs. The entire front, hood, coolant system, and I know a few more pieces need replaced. The prius can run and be moved to a body shop at least, but paying for it will be a nightmare. If he can't get to work, we are in major trouble. My fiancee, his little sister, and I all rely on this car for work. While I'm still looking for work, I'm very limited because of my current physical state. We've spent a lot of money on my Healthcare already and every day are worried I'm going to reach for something and have my back crack again. While we are working on Medicaid, these things are proving a slow process. They also don't cover previous medical bills when I did have insurance. So, our only choice is to live off his income currently while I'm on a search for a new job every day. Our lives depend on this one car. Especially since we live out in the woods and work is 40 minutes away.

If you've read this far, I appreciate every single second of your time. Every single hand this gofundme goes through will be a huge help. If you can't help, that's okay, please don't stress your own financials if youre in a tough spot. If you can pass this along to anyone you can, that would be more than enough. Thank you again, and I wish you all better fortune this 2024.

For those who can't read the whole thing;

TLDR; Me and my family are already going through a lot of financial troubles with my health and being laid off, our only mode of transportation is severely damaged from an unmaintained roads massive pothole and hitting a deer in the same day. Three people rely on this one vehicle for all our jobs and interviews that are far from home. Donate if you can, if not, please share and thank you so very much.

Also including another picture here for you all to see. Thank you all again, I wish you better fortune this year.

[teaforthotxxx]

My marauders post-hogwarts career HC is:

(Gryffindor Edition)

James becomes a professional quidditch player. He’s a legend at Hogwarts and almost every student (YES! Even slytherins because he’s married to one) absolutely adores him. He still comes back to Hogwarts every once in a while just to scout for prospective recruits (and check up on his family) and hosts a quidditch mini-league every year. He loves to shout out his friends and his son (Harry hates this because he gets embarrassed). He also comes back to Hogwarts to make sure Regulus isn’t overworking himself and occasionally sneaks a prank or two at Snape (even though Reg and Remus will chastise him after).

Remus is obviously DADA professor. However, he doesn’t live on campus. Instead, he has a cottage that he bought near Hogsmeade. He spends his weekends there making tea and hanging out with Sirius. They have a portkey to the forbidden forest where they spend full moons with the rest of the marauders. He is also working in a dissertation about wolfsbane and how to make it more readily available. He also looks out for students being picked on and maybe not so secretly implies a prank idea or two. When he started teaching, the first thing he did was look for the confiscated Marauders map in Filch’s cupboard (HE WANTED IT BACK HE SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON IT) but realised it was missing. It didn’t take long though for him to realise that it was in the crafty hands of Fred and George Weasley. He couldn’t wait to tell the other the other three marauders when he found out!!

Sirius is a philanthropist explorer who goes around supporting new medicine and exploring new unique places. He probably turned grimmauld house into a orphanage (specialising in helping werewolf children and muggleborns). It may seem like he has a flexible schedule but his job keeps him really busy and he never knows when his next break is. So, he is always stumbling into Remus’ cottage at random times or making surprise visits to Hogwarts. When he’s there, he brokers deals with Dumbledore to allow more werewolf students in. He even renovated the shrieking shack so its more comfortable for them during the full.

Peter (he was a triple spy for the order! He had to because Voldemort was threatening his already sick mother) grew out of his shell more and became the head of publishing at the Prophet. Since he was such a gossip in school, he came into the job with a pre-existing network of information. It doesn’t hurt that his besties are all war heroes. When the war ended and he realised that people were picking on young deatheaters (those forced into the cause by their parents), he was the only newspaper brave enough to publish an exclusive with war heroes Regulus Black and Evan Rosier about how family can shape your choices and how to break out of it. Of course, he is also the only one that can get Sirius Black to sit down for an interview (no one realises these articles always suspiciously get published after a full moon aka the only time Peter can get Sirius to SIT THE FUCK DOWN). He

As the one who sent the finishing blow to the Dark Lord, Lily BAMF Evans was immediately indicted into the Auror Hall of Fame. She has since risen up the ranks and is basically Moody’s second in command. She was originally apprehensive about taking on such a challenging job so close after the war (esp cause her son was still a baby) but was convinced by Mary (her then Fiancee now wife). And, even then, she only said yes because Harry’s other parents: Mary (a model), Regulus (a potions teacher) and James (a quidditch player) had large chunks of the year off and would be able to take care of him. She is campaigning for more muggle borns to be allowed into Auror training (since most of them are still purebloods) and has been working hard with Regulus to make appeals to the Wizengmot.

No one was surprised that Marlene Mckinnon became a professional Quidditch player too. But everyone was shocked when they found out that she purposefully picked a different team from Potter! It had something to do with the fact that she always wanted to properly play against him but never had the chance to. But, also she picked her team because it was her wife, Dorcas’, favourite team! She loves taunting James because she happens to be in Reg’s favourite team (and well, Regulus sits with Dorcas in her stands during their games). As a proud Gryffindor, she still likes to dunk on Slytherins (esp when she is near the Slytherin Skittles) and makes a show of only hugging “the only bearable one” Pandora. Everyone just rolls their eyes because not only did she marry the Slytherin Head Girl, she was also the first to propose (she did it half an hour after Lily vanquished the dark lord and she was still in bandages).

[chefgretamorrison]

"Sure," she nodded with resolution and motioned the bartender. "Put him on my tab." Greta had no problem with money, or spending it, so really if it got her point across, she would most definitely do it. "No, but that's what guys always assume, isn't it?" She raised a brow at him, like that wasn't the most obvious thing ever. "Buy a drink, get in your pants." She thought briefly on the changed scenario where she was now paying of his and add, "I'm not getting in your pants." Greta was slurring just the slightly, and she was a talker when she was getting drunk too. "Just so we're real, real clear about it."

"Cause—" her eyes watered remembering the situation. "I was stupid. I went to NY to help a friend, you see, I'm a chef and this friend, well she's also an ex. But it's been like ten years and we were living in France? And she's also a chef, and we kept in touch cause of work and that only. But she needed help training a sous-chef in her new restaurant and I went there to assist. But it was on Valentine's Day week and I missed it with my fiancee," Greta explained, not sure why she was pouring her life into a stranger's ears. Perhaps because it was safer considering he didn't know her. "Which was fine, cause she gets having a busy work schedule, so it was alright. Until it wasn't. Until she found out I hadn't told her Margot was my ex. Then she was real upset... Also cause Margot wrote me a love letter that she never gave to me but Lake somehow got a hold of it? And an old picture of us, and a recent one too—but like, we were having dinner after the service? Like all chefs do! The whole staff was there too, but of course the picture only showed us." She sighed after the rant, reaching her face to wipe away the tear. Greta was silent for a moment, saying it aloud made her realize how ridiculous she was in not understanding Lake being upset. She'd have raged if it was the other way around. But it seemed it was too late now. "I love Lake though. I turned Margot down when she made a pass on me that week. I'd never cheat on Lake... She's the love of my life. All I could think about in New York was coming back home to her." And now she hated her.

With a light shake of his head, Chang Min let out a minor, humorous snort at the blonde's response. "You wanna pay for mine then?" He asked, motioning his fingers to both their empty glasses. Since she thought he was offering her a drink because she assumed he wanted to fuck her or something. "I'm not trying to get you to bed though, do you need to fancy guys to have someone buy you a drink?" He hadn't come to this place looking for a pair of legs to nest him between them, and, well, he considered himself to be a good reader of the room. He simply wanted to help, since people believed it was easier to come clean to strangers.

And so it seemed, people were right, because here the blonde was, spilling her secrets already. "If you'd never do that, then why does she think you have?" / @chefgretamorrison

[rere-the-writer]

Part one

Title: Be mine; Planning a marriage

Summary: Rebekah took it upon herself to plan Elijah's wedding while Leona is seemingly not caring for the whole thing and Elijah gets a taste of just what it is like to have a Mob boss for a wife.

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Warnings: Fluff, Mob stuff, Some angst, Elijah trying to be a loving husband, Leona is no good with feelings

Rebekah huffed seeing Leona working and not going to the wedding dress fitting that the vampire had scheduled for the Mob boss instead the blonde was in her office speaking in Italian as she was on the phone.

Leona looked at Rebekah hanging up the phone looking at her soon to be sister-in-law who stared the human down.

"Here to get me to agree to that dress fitting?"

"Yes! Why aren't you planning anything!?"

"Because I don't care. Look Rebekah, it is adorable that you and Elijah are hellbent to get me excited for this. But this is just a deal, just two people doing business."

"But you are going to be family and Elijah is going to be adoring you." Rebekah tells the mobster pulling a sigh from her, Leona got up knowing Rebekah won't let it go.

The human had only been engaged to Elijah for a month and both Rebekah and Elijah have been planning the wedding.

While Elijah had been nothing but good to the woman seemly trying to win her over with gifts and soft affections, Elijah had moved into her home so new Leona came home to a nice cooked meal and a warm body.

"See, this isn't so bad." Rebekah tells Leona as the woman wasn't really listening to the vampire as she was staring at the dress that she wore.

It was a gorgeous white mermaid with long flowing lace sleeves tastefully low cut and backless, the bodice was beaded with soft pink gems with a long train vail and beautiful tiara. Leona thought she looked like a bride as a unfamiliar emotion bubbled in her chest.

"This dress will do." Leona said pushing away whatever she was feeling as Rebekah watched her with a knowing look in her eyes, Leona had spent the day with Rebekah just doing bride things when she got a call that Elijah had been taken.

"Alonzo, what is all this?" Leona asked eyes narrowed seeing Elijah on his knees hands tied behind his back, suit bloody as Elijah looked over his fiancee seeing her deadly calm demeanor as there was a flickered of anger in her normally beautiful calm blue eyes.

"You choose to marry this man?! I have made many many offers to marry you!" Alonzo said voice shaking with anger as he pointed a gun to Elijah's head while Leona lit a cigarette and her right hand man, Angelo, stood next to her.

"Oh dear Alonzo, has your father taught you nothing? Always bring men to a meeting." Just as Leona that, Giovanni had grabbed the man into a choke hold as Angelo walked up untieing Elijah placing him in the back of the car.

"Boss?"

"Put him in the trunk, Alonzo needs a lesson on not touching what is mine. Also burn his car, send a massage." Leona said getting in the car after Elijah as the men did as told. The car rode home was quiet and Leona shooed people away and took care of Elijah. The boss had sat Elijah down on a stool as she began to clean him up.

"You are being soft."

"You are Klaus's brother, just protecting my deal." Leona said cleaning Elijah's face seeing most of his wounds had healed as Elijah leaned in cupping her cheek as Leona felt her cheeks warmed as Elijah's breath hit her lips.

Chocolate brown met light blue as Leona gripped his shirt trembling feeling Elijah grab hold of her hips getting closer to kiss her but the blonde was snapped out of the trace by a phone ringing.

"Hello?" Leona answered pulling away from Elijah who frowned hearing her begin to speak Italian with whoever called as Elijah thought he was finally getting somewhere with Leona.

"My little brother is coming to the wedding....how did your sister get hold of his number?" Leona asked hanging up as Elijah found it hard to read her as her tone was even. Elijah looked at his hands then to her back smiling gently when she turned around staring at him.

"Rebekah has her ways. Are you angry?" Elijah asked watching her closely as Leona thought over his words as she wasn't angry just annoyed with how much Elijah was taking this seriously and hated the feelings Elijah made her feel.

"No....it'll be nice to see Elio again." Leona said walking pass Elijah heading up to her bedroom leaving behind a every pleased Elijah.

"You and Elijah seem to be getting cozy."

"Yes, Klaus. Please come in." Leona said annoyed rolling her eyes as she was working when the vampire walking her office, Klaus smirked sitting in a empty chair watching the mobster. Angelo walked in pausing seeing Klaus but continued leaning down whispering something in the boss's ear then walked out.

"I must thank you for saving my big brother."

"Just protecting my deal with you."

"You're a survivor, aren't you Miss Valentine? Pushing Elijah away so he doesn't get too close." Klaus says smirking making the woman look at him with narrowed eyes and hid how well Klaus's words were correct.

Leona leaned back against her chair looking at the vampire wondering why the Mikaelsons were pushing her to be affectionate to Elijah, to play the role of a loving wife.

"Why does it matter? This marriage is nothing but a business deal between you and I. Love is not part of the deal so Elijah will have to get use to a wife not caring."

"And if my brother takes a lover?" Klaus asked searching for any sign that Leona could have some form of affection for Elijah. Leona paused feeling a bit of jealousy and hurt bubble in her chest but killed that feeling real quick.

"So? I won't stop him." Leona says getting back to work as Klaus studied her a bit more before standing up to leave.

"Keep telling yourself that....sister." Klaus said walking out as Leona paused at Klaus seeing that he left and her chest began to ache. The blonde pushed away the wanted feelings and just hoped she could get though her own wedding.

[akaashisupremacy]

Brimming with Hope

Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. As you two give your relationship a second chance, what does hope look like to two disillusioned lovers?  

Gojo Satoru  x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: fluff, angst, exes to friends to lovers (wc: 1.5k)

“I don’t think they’ve fully made up their mind about me.” Gojo Satoru confesses to Nanami Kento.

In between assignments and his students, Gojo finds Nanami at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech’s grounds. They’re strolling along one of the many wooden hallways when Gojo opens up about you, his ex-fiancee and his current lover.

“What makes you say that?” Nanami rarely involved himself in other people’s romantic entanglements. Too much work really.

Gojo shrugs and sighs, “It’s like their affection is platonic. They care about me as a person, but I’m not sure if they have romantic feelings for me.”

The latest development of his relationship with you has been nothing short of daunting. Your relationship, albeit not exclusive was running past the six month mark. The longer he stayed around you the more pressure he felt. Commitment is not his thing. Dating his ex is also not his thing. But you certainly are.

“Can you blame them?” Nanami snorts, “How does it feel to be at the other end of the uncertainty?”

Gojo scowls in silence, hands pressed deep into his pocket.

“Well if they’re going out with you and stuff, then that’s not platonic.” Nanami offers. “Just make sure you’re not just fucking around again. Some people deserve better, Gojo. Leave them alone if you can’t get your shit together.”

Gojo stops walking. Nanami’s words are harsh and cold, voicing Gojo’s ultimate fear about himself.

Gojo opens his mouth and closes it shut. Nanami raises a brow. He senses some hesitation.

“Everything we do feels more intimate. I’ve been with other people, but this feels so…so….deep.” he murmurs.

Nanami turns around and snorts, “It’s the feelings. You’ve caught feelings.”

“This relationship feels so temporary...just when I feel like I’ve settled in, I’m to be up on my toes knowing this isn’t going to last. I realized they eventually want a family, but not with me. Because that’s just not me. It feels like there’s a time bomb waiting to go off.” Gojo continues, his tone silent and mournful.

More than anyone, Gojo knows you deep desire to be married and have a quiet family life. It's something he doesn't want and it pains him to know that you'll eventually go your separate ways.

Nanami breathes out, waiting for Gojo to catch up with a few long strides, “You can’t have everything.”

“I don’t need everything. Just the things that count.” Gojo replies, walking by Nanami’s side.

“Then you have to look for a happy middle, for you and for them.” Nanami shrugs.

Gojo scratches his head. What can he do?

————————————————————————————— You walk out of the morgue to leave Ieri to her work. As you step out, you come face to face with Nanami, who looks surprised that you’re here.

“Didn’t expect you to be around Ieri’s lair.” he comments.

“I didn’t expect to have a casualty either.” you shrug, waving around a file.

You hardly ever see Nanami after graduating. The school grounds were big. Your schedules never line up. Neither of you were particularly close.

He silently looks around if Ieri is behind you.

“So you and Gojo…” he trails.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms, “Not you too! You know what, instead of asking me, you should ask Gojo and his commitment issues, for updates.”

Your voice rings louder on the empty walls than you intended.

“I did.” he replies.

“And?”

“Commitment issues with a capital “C” indeed.” Nanami states, as if the fact was self-evident. What’s new? You sniff.

“It’s unusual to see him so conflicted about you. You used to be his rock.” he adds.

Your eyes narrow, as if asking for more information. You were never really sure how Gojo felt about you when you two were younger. He seemed attracted during your brief arranged engagement, but his attention obviously flitted elsewhere after that.

Nanami relents, “When we were freshmen, you reminded him of home. He pretends not to be homesick all the time. He’s not very good at hiding it when he talks about you.”

“Well, that feeling didn’t last, did it?” you murmur just loud enough for Nanami to hear.

The outside of the morgue has always been a little dark. You wished the lights were dimmer because you know Nanami is observing you.

“Not to defend him, but he was so wrapped in you and your engagement that he needed to find who he was outside of that. He likes attention, too. Can’t deny that. But his affections were sincere for a time.” he says, “I don’t know where his feelings stand right now. This isn’t to give you false hope, but he can be in love, even though it’s against his greater instincts and experience.”

He bows briefly to excuse himself. He needs to head in.

“But you already know that deep down. Out of all of us, you know him the longest, and I would argue, the best.” he adds.

You're left outside stunned by his words. Out of all his surviving friends, you assumed it was Nanami who knew him better than everyone else. It was you. You knew him best, even when Gojo wasn't by your side.

You smile a bit. There are some bonds broken romances can't break.

———————————————————— On a train home from your assignment, you find the bullet train crowded as usual. Rush hour is the bane of your existence in Tokyo.

As you try to find an empty seat, you’re surprised to find Gojo opening some sort of regional snack (again).

“How is it that you have so much time for souvenir shopping?” you groan in comment.

“It’s nice to see you, too.” he offers the seat next to his.

You plop down beside him, distracted. You think back to what Nanami said earlier. What was it that Nanami said? That you were Gojo’s rock? What did that mean really?

He tries to offer you some food. You wave him off dismissively. After gathering your thoughts, you decisively turn to him.

“I just want to know,” you swallow, “How did you feel about me when we were kids.”

With his mouth ajar, he blinks. Where was this coming from?

“Why?” he instinctively asks.

You purse your lips, “I’ve been meaning to ask for the longest while. I want to know your answer.”

He leans back into his seat and puts his food down in concentration.

“I thought I knew what love was and it came in the form of you. It’s kind of dumb. What would a teenager know about that kind of stuff?” he shrugs, “I liked the idea that you liked me. You were someone who supported me. You were there for me. You were generous with your time and affection.

“Looking back it’s just infatuation, isn’t it?" he asks rhetorically.

“You sounded naive.” you say, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

He chuckles, “Who wouldn’t be at that age?”

“And sincere.” you followed up with a smile.

Gojo turns away from you. He sees glimpses of your early teenage years when he sees that smile. It was the smile you wore when he visited you at your clan’s home and helped out with your chores. You liked it when he would carry the firewood you gathered from the forest.

“...you made me feel so grown up, like I had my life together. Not everyone liked who they were engaged to, but I really liked you and you had believed in me so much.” he murmurs, “I felt so lucky to be able to marry you one day. I was literally brimming with hope. But that was 13 years ago.”

You both get off the train. The crowded station greets you both. Although you walk side by side, it is too easy for the crowd to sweep you away. You hold onto his sleeve. He doesn't notice.  

You try to say goodbye when you make it out, but he seems distracted. You begin to walk away.

“You’re not saying goodbye?” he asks, startled.

“I did, but you didn’t mind me.” you smirk with your arms crossed.

“Sorry. There’s a lot going on in my mind.” he nods, walking up beside you.

He leans in to plant a kiss on your cheek. You pull away.

“We’re in public,” you remind him. Gojo isn’t public with you on anything.

He kisses you anyway, pressing his lips on your cheek. You’re surprised but not unpleasantly so. His kiss is long and lingering. You embrace him with your arms around his waist. You briefly close your eyes to drown out the noise of the station.

Gojo can feel his heart racing a thousand kilometers per second. His shoulders relax. It's strangely freeing to be able to kiss you in public.

He knows he’s not into commitment, but whenever he sees you, he questions myself.

“I have to go now.” you bid softly.

I love you. He holds back. He waves carefully to not let his words escape his mouth. He’s not fifteen anymore. He should know better.

Gojo begins walking back to Jujutsu Tech. Being able to kiss you goodbye made him feel so grown up, like he has his life together more than he actually does. It makes him feel, once again, that he is brimming with hope.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. Check out the other parts!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

Comment or message to be added to the taglist! Or write down some comments about your feelsssss

Series Taglist: @tokyo-love-hotel@samkysnks@herownescape@cherrianne192@shamelessdonutsludgebanana@kageyamakock@shirostrbl@luvang3l@cloudsinthecosmos@httpjungoo @saturnki  @itstheee-ha-chan@gucci-froggy @soy1melk @dora-the-grownup @cherryonigiri @fiona782

If you’d like to continue being part of my taglist (JJK or Haikyuu), please let me know! I also write oneshots for both fandoms and soon I’ll be doing BSD too!

[w00wzerz]

Mark’s Babysitting Adventures (Fanfic)

Mark’s P.O.V

An anxious grin played about Mark’s face as he watched Lola tilt on her heels ever so gently, to hand Bailey over to his fiancee Amy before her departure with Robin for their date night.

Lola pestered Mark every second that she could about babysitting his Goddaughter. However, their conflicting schedules played a major part in the delay of it happening. After many failed attempts, Lola and Robin could sense that the entire ordeal was beginning to get to him. The last thing that Lola would ever want is to make her best friend feel isolated from Bailey - almost as if she doesn’t trust him. So the moment she opened Mark’s texts confirming his availability for the day, she couldn’t wait to see the look on his face!

Her eyes gleamed over Mark’s eager demeanor. It simply warmed her heart to witness Mark’s excitement, that practically mirrored her own - to care for Bailey. Especially since they have had little to no time or space for communication. Due to the idiotic investigation that pertained to the ethics of her judicial position, which Mark’s department in the DA’s office just so happens to be overseeing. Lola missed her best friend and she was elated at the fact that even through all of that, nothing would ever come between his love for her baby girl, Bailey.

After greeting Mark with a cheesy, yet familiar handshake, pull into a hug, Robin hastily handed over the incredibly thick list of potty training instructions to Mark, along with the potty. It was going to be a breeze.

Or so he thought.

Amy struggled to scrub the insides of the potty with a dish brush from the kitchen sink, whilst Mark ran across the room frantically with Bailey clutched tightly onto his side. Her innocent cries echoed through the room, further increasing both Mark and Amy’s anxiety. It was the fourth time that Bailey had pooped her diaper after being caught chowing down on a bag of prunes alone, just when they turned away for only a second.

“How was she able to find a bag of prunes?” Amy screamed across the room at Mark, who continued to cautiously rock Bailey in a slow methodic motion, similar to the rhythm of a rocking chair. Bailey rested her tiny head onto Mark’s shoulder, with her eyes closing slightly, inch by inch.

“Shhh!” He began “I think she’s falling asleep.”

A satisfied grin slowly crept its way on to Mark’s lips, but immediately fell flat by the vibrating sensation from Bailey’s diaper on his arm. Mark contemplated phoning Robin for instructions on how to deal with this mess, but ultimately decided against it. How were they ever going to trust him with Bailey again if he couldn’t even babysit her without things going wrong.

As time progressed, Bailey soon began to cease her attack of the poopy diapers. It was like her entire system had been cleansed. As Mark cradled her in his arms, he motioned his body forward and back, rocking her to sleep, with Amy grinning from ear to ear by his side on the couch.

“She is such a beauty isn’t she?”

Amy sang in a whisper, while gently pinching Bailey’s cheeks with her thumb and index finger.

“She sure is.”

Mark’s heart fluttered at Bailey’s innocent cues that mirrored light whistle snores. Her small, almond shaped eyes shared an immense resemblance to her mother’s, although Lola’s were far more defined on the edges.

While the room fell into a peaceful silence, Mark rested his head on the back of his couch. While staring at the ceiling, his mind slowly dived into useless thoughts that he wouldn’t dare say aloud, especially with Amy in the room. Mark questioned if this was how his life was supposed to be. The heavily involved Dad, cleaning diapers and singing lullabies to his kids. He wondered if he made a mistake by choosing not to pursue Lola in college like he initially planned.

She was the woman of his dreams, the incredibly confident smart ass with a gorgeous smile and a genuine heart. However, the timing couldn’t have been worse. It was Mark’s first year in Law School and there was no way that he was going to allow himself to get side tracked by an innocent “little crush”. Yet, overtime, as the years progressed, and her presence with him became more frequent on and off the school campus - and don’t even get him started on her command of the courtroom during mock trials. His crush developed into something more - much more for his best friend.

Now with Amy currently utilizing his shoulders for a pillow, a trail of her drool staining through his shirt, and Lola’s daughter by another man cushioning between his arms - the thought of him ever confessing his love for Lola became even more of a distant memory.

As Mark’s eyes slowly increased in weight, closing themselves shut ever so slightly. A small smile rested on his lips when Bailey’s tiny hands lightly gripped his thumb as she snuggled comfortably in his arms.

Mark couldn’t help shake the feeling that maybe this is exactly where he was supposed to be. Somehow, this moment right here, felt just right.

[ladyblogger-margie]

Permit Pending - Part 1

Pairing: Will Miller (Triple Frontier) x F!Reader

Summary: All Will Miller wanted was a park permit for a VA fundraiser, what he got instead was an unscheduled afternoon exploring different parks with F!Reader.

Word Count:  3890

Rating: G (smut to come in chapter 2!)

Warnings: Course language. Eventual smut in future chapters. 

a/n: My first time writing reader insert and for Will Miller AND for Triple Frontier, so any feedback at all is appreciated. No Y/N. 

Series Master List

3-2-1, Will Miller counted down to the ring of his morning alarm clock. Just like every single day his phone blared a monotonous alarm sound at exactly 05:42 and Will shut it off. He spent the next three minutes practicing mindful breathing and preparing for the day ahead. At 05:45 he rose and changed into his gym clothes. 

He shook together a protein shake as he rode the elevator down to the surprisingly decent gym in his building where he did exactly 30 minutes of cardio followed by an hour of weight training. Today was back and chest day – his favorite – so of course he decided to listen to a podcast instead of a playlist of high tempo motivational music. It was easier to be motivated for something you already wanted to do after all. The podcast today was about finding a balance between order and relaxation, something his therapist had recommended he do before his insurance ran out on therapy sessions and he opted out of continuing the process.

After the gym he returned to his apartment and started the coffee maker. After a quick shower and some facial hair maintenance, he dressed in one of his branded polo shirts and drank his coffee with his breakfast. He had two talks scheduled for the day before lunch, then an errand to run after lunch. Later that evening he would meet up with Benny for fight training. Today could not be any more normal for him - exactly the same as the day before, and the day before that. 

Or so he thought. 

You woke up groaning when your alarm went off at 7:15am. You snoozed it. You also snoozed your 7:22am, 7:31am, and 7:40am alarms. You finally rolled yourself out of bed at 7:50am in time for your quick 30 minute yoga routine before you got ready for work. 

You breezed into the parks and recreation office at City Hall at exactly 8:57am. You grabbed a cup of coffee from the office machine knowing that if you got up at 7:15am as planned you would’ve had time to stop at Starbucks on your way into the office. 

You spent your morning as you usually did - catching up on your passion projects which were the youth sport organizations. You ensured all the public teams had access to the necessary fields and confirmed with the greens team that they were all in working order. You loved your mornings at work even though you weren’t necessarily a morning person. 

After lunch was another story. After a series of poorly timed budget cuts, your department was forced to cancel the internship program. That meant you were drafted into working the permit desks in the afternoons. You knew that it wasn’t actually the worst thing in the world, it was just so boring. The applications were longer than they had any right to be and filled with confusing language. This meant nearly every single application required a specific follow up that never fit one of the many form responses you’d been accumulating in the hopes of streamlining the process. 

Of course you wanted your community to take advantage of the awesome parks in your town, but apparently the legal department didn’t. It put you in a difficult spot where sometimes you were forced to give the park permits to corporations instead of individuals and it drove you crazy to do so. It also locked you to a desk unless a specific permit issue arose that required an in-person follow up which never happened. Which is why after lunch you went off campus to get yourself your favourite Starbucks order because the permit desk on a Monday required the heavy artillery to survive. 

Or so you thought. 

After a few hours of pouring over pages and pages of documents, the most handsome man you had ever seen walked into the office. He had blonde hair and soft eyes which you noticed right away but immediately after you were drawn to his strong chest tightly wrapped in a blue polo with some logo you didn’t recognize over one of his firm pecs. 

“My name is William Miller, and I’m hoping you can help me with a park permit,” the man said, holding out his hand to you. 

You composed yourself as quickly as you could and introduced yourself in return, shaking his hand. “I’d be happy to help you with that,” you said as you let go. His hands were firm and from the callouses you could tell he worked out, though his general physique already gave that away. 

He smiled at you and you felt something stir inside you that was not exactly professional, “Did you have a specific location in mind?”

“No, actually I was hoping to get your opinion. I’m helping to put together a community fundraiser, a BBQ actually, to help support the local VA, but I’m not exactly sure where would be the best place to set something like that up,” he replied. 

You knew exactly where to send him. There was a perfect location you often recommended for huge family reunions, outdoor wedding receptions, and concerts. But as you looked down at the desk for the correct application form you saw the huge pile of pages still left unread taunting you and you got an idea, “Why don’t I give you a tour of a few different locations to help you make your decision?” 

“That’s a service you offer here?”

“We aim to please” you said, desperate for an excuse to get out of the office. 

Will hesitated as he fiddled with his keys for a moment. 

“I could drive if you like,” he offered.

You smiled as professionally as you could, trying to contain your glee. 

“Thank you, let me just check out with my boss and I’ll be right back” you darted away before you could blow your composure. 

You stuck your head into your boss’ office. “Hey, I’m stepping away from the desk. Some guy is insisting I help him pick a park location for his permit request. I’m on my cell if there’s an emergency” you said, not stopping to hear their response before darting off. 

You grabbed your coffee off the desk and landed in front of Will. “Ready,” you said as he smiled warmly at you. He held the door open for you as you left the office, and your boring afternoon, behind.

He led you to his truck in the parking lot and held open the passenger door for you which made your heart flutter though you tried to control it and you reminded yourself that this was a professional outing, not a date. 

He climbed into the cab beside you and started the truck before he turned to you and asked, “Where to?”

You gave him directions to a park you know wouldn’t work, but it did have a couple of soccer fields, and you wanted to check the nets there for holes and figured you could push your luck a bit more today. 

He pulled into the park parking lot and looked around with a slight purse of his lips and a furrow in his brow. He cleared his throat before asking, “I did explain it was a BBQ, right? I don’t really see a place for that,”. 

You suddenly felt guilty, thinking he probably had somewhere else to be today and you derailed him for your own selfish reasons. “I’m sorry, I’m keeping you. I just had to get out of the office, and I took advantage of you. If you’ve got somewhere to be, leave me here with your information and I’ll get everything arranged for you at the perfect place,” you said, avoiding eye contact.

To your surprise he smiled at you, “You should’ve said, I’ve got nothing going on this afternoon, I can help you play hooky.” 

You smiled back at him, relieved that he was on board with your scheme. 

Will watched as you inspected the soccer nets for tears and he felt a warmth in his chest he hadn’t since his fiancee, who had left him after the incident at the Publix. You were really nice and he could tell you were passionate about your job, at least parts of it, especially hearing you explain exactly what your job was while he drove you both to this destination. Plus there was no denying that he found you incredibly attractive. 

You returned to his side at the edge of the field after completing your inspection. “Thanks for waiting, there’s a middle-school tournament here starting tomorrow and I wanted to make sure everything was set,” you said to him and he knew he was in trouble. 

“Ready for park number two?” you asked. 

He nodded and led you back to the truck. 

When you arrived at park number two, Will realized this had to be the place you intended for the permit and he was a bit disappointed. He had been hoping to stretch out his afternoon with you a little longer. Before he could ask if you needed a ride back to City Hall he heard you let go a soft, sad sigh. He looked at you but you were gazing out the front window at the park. 

“Is something wrong?” He asked. 

“I’m going to kill the guys in City Planning,” you muttered upset. 

Will tried to figure out what it was you were looking at, but he couldn’t see anything wrong with the park. It looked like the perfect place for a fundraising BBQ. 

You turned to Will hopeful, “Do you have tools in this truck, or is it just for show?”

He smiled at your joke, “I’ve got a box in the back. What’s the problem?”

You gestured to a park bench, “City Planning keeps installing anti-homeless architecture in my parks and I’m not going to let them get away with it,” you said with a sly smile. 

Will knows for sure now that he definitely has a crush on you. He gets out of the truck and grabs his modest tool box from the bed and follows you over to the bench. He sees a metal arm rest in the middle of the bench, obviously installed to ensure no one lays across it. He checks the back to see how it’s attached and scoffs at the simple way it’s been bolted in and opens his tool kit. 

“Am I going to get arrested for this?” He jokes as he gets to work. 

You laugh, “You’re with me, I’ll protect you”. 

You smile at this; you could get used to the idea of having his back. He gets the bar free and you take it from him. He gestures to another bench a few steps away and he gets to work on liberating that bench too. You happily follow him as you ask, “So, you work for the VA?”

“Yeah, I mostly just run my mouth though,” he grunted as he loosened the much tighter bolt on the second bench. 

“Were you military?”

“Yeah,” He rolls up his sleeve and shows you a tattoo on his forearm, “Delta Force”. 

“But you’re retired now?”

“Something like that,”.

“Aren’t you a bit young to be retired?”

He paused and handed you the second detached metal arm. 

You felt self conscious, maybe you were being rude? “Sorry, it’s none of my business,” You said nervously. 

He shook his head, “You’re fine. It’s just not something I’m necessarily proud of though”. 

“You don’t have to explain, it’s none of my business,” You said, as you led the way to the third bench. 

“I had some trouble, and I was told my services were no longer needed in the field,” he explained getting to work on the third arm, “But I found a way to be useful, stay involved”. 

You nodded, “That couldn’t have been easy,”.

He shook his head, “There are good days, and bad days,” and he handed you the third arm. 

He looked around and didn’t see any more pieces of hostile architecture so he turned to you, “Do you need a ride back to City Hall?”

You looked at him and felt bold. “This is obviously the best park for your event, but if you’ve got nowhere to be, did you want to make one more stop and see my favorite park?”

He smiled at you and nodded his head. You led the way back to his truck where he put his tools away and took the arms from you and dumped them in the bed. 

“I can’t wait to drop those off at the City Planning office tomorrow,” you giggled triumphantly. 

You and Will loaded up into the truck and you directed him out of the parking lot. 

Park number 3 was your favorite place in the entire world, though to be fair you hadn’t actually travelled much so you couldn’t really compare it to anywhere else, but still. To you the lakeside beach next to the tree covered green grass was a slice of heaven. You’d go there on the weekends with a podcast lined up or an old book and spend the whole afternoon on a bench with a coffee and some fresh air. 

When Will pulled into the parking lot, you suddenly got nervous. You had lost some of your earlier boldness that suggested you open yourself up like this to a man you just met. But there was something about him, a warmth and a vulnerability that made you want him to know you, and you to know him. 

You both got out of the truck and the sun was starting to get low in the sky as you walked him to a bench that bordered the beach and the grass. You took a seat and he sat next to you, your thighs gently brushing. The contact sent a shiver down your spine that had nothing to do with the cool breeze that brushed through the leaves above your head. 

Will looked out across the lake and around the park. He felt the warmth of your leg against his and the urge to lean over and brush your cheek with his thumb nearly overwhelmed him. You were so close, it would be so easily for him to just kiss you. But he wasn’t sure you’d want that. You wanted to play hooky from work, and share your love of the parks. He couldn’t let himself think that your enthusiasm for the day had anything to do with him. Instead of holding you under his arm and against his chest, he folded in on himself and looked at you.

He was about to ask what you were thinking about when his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and noticed Benny’s name on the caller ID and cursed under his breath. “I’m so sorry,” he said to you as he answered, “I’ve got to take this.”

He stands and walks a few paces away and you watch him leave, disappointed. You thought maybe he was about to ask you on a date, and tried not to let yourself be too upset that he didn’t. You watch as he rubbed his forehead and shook his head as he talked on the phone to someone you couldn’t hear and didn’t know. 

He hung up the phone and turned to look at you, and you turned away, a little embarrassed to have been caught staring at him. He walks back to you on the bench but doesn’t sit down again. 

“Thank you for showing me this place, it’s beautiful,” he said softly and his sweet voice drew your gaze to his lips as he spoke. You felt the electricity surge between you all the way through to the tips of your fingers and your toes. “I hadn’t realized how late it’s gotten, I’m supposed to be at the gym, training my brother,” he explained. 

You nodded and stood up next to him, so close you had to look up to meet his eyes. “That’s fine, I can call an Uber or something back to City Hall” and you pulled out your phone. 

He put his hand on your arm, “Don’t be silly, I’ll take you back. Plus gotta make sure those city planning guys get their gift.”

Your breath hitched when he touched you and you couldn’t contain your smile as you nodded. “Are you sure? I’ve already taken so much of your time” you said, unable to tear your eyes from his. 

“I want to”.

He walks you back to the truck and opens your door for you again and you hop in both flustered and excited. 

The drive back to City Hall is more quiet than you’ve been all day. Your previous trips were full of chit chat about sports and books and random small talk. Now all that existed in the truck was the electricity and tension between you. You wondered if he felt it too, or if the surprising infatuation was a one-sided affair. 

Will gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. He had spent most the afternoon with you and he failed to buck up the courage to ask you out. You took him to your favorite place and basically hand wrapped a romantic moment, and he blew it. He didn’t know if you noticed the potential romance of the location, or if you intended to entice him so completely, but you had. And he blew his shot. 

Back at City Hall he handed you the metal arms from your adventure and you stayed by the truck. You were hoping he’d ask you out before he left. 

“Thanks for the ride, and the impromptu bench liberation, and the excuse to get out of the office,” you said with a smile, lingering longer than you needed to. 

He smiled back, maybe he could ask you now and he could still pull off the romantic gesture. “I had a great day, which I hadn’t actually expected when I went in earlier looking to fill out boring paperwork,” he said leaning unconsciously closer to you. 

He took a deep breath, ready to ask - when his cell phone rang again. He silenced it and tried again, “Hey-“ and the phone rang again and he answered it. “I’m on my way, asshole. Start with cardio,” he said, frustrated, “you don’t need me for that”.

He hung up and looked at you embarrassed by his outburst, absolutely believing that he had blown it for sure now. But you just looked at him amused, not annoyed. 

“Friend of yours?” you asked, stifling a laugh. 

“My baby brother. He’s a fighter and I’m his trainer, which I do for free by the way, but he loves to act like he’s my boss”, he explained. 

“Sounds like a character.”

“He is something that’s for sure. He’s also really special, really talented. He deserves a better lot than what he’s got”, Will's voice trailed off as he thought bitterly about how Benny left service when he did and the guilt he carried, unspoken, about that ever since. 

Will leaned back, “Do you need a walk to your car?”

“I’m alright, thank you. I better head back up to the office first anyway. Thanks again for today. Maybe I’ll see you around”, you forced a smile, abandoning all hope of a date and retreating into the building. 

Will kicked himself mentally all the way to the gym. When he got there he was in a bad mood. 

“Finally!” Benny shouted at him when he walked in.

“I have a life outside of you, you know that right?” Will spit towards Benny.

“Fuck’s wrong with you?” Benny asked.

“I told you I was on my way, what was so important that you had to call me again and nag me?” Will asked.

“You’re never late, I was worried,” Benny admitted. 

Will paused. He hasn’t thought of it like that. He was never late, it was so unlike him. It was actually kinda nice Benny worried, even if he was an ass about it.

“Well I’m here now, let’s get to it”, Will shrugged and he climbed into the ring opposite Benny. 

After training they grabbed some food together. After scarfing down most of his meal without breathing, Benny asked Will, “Why were you late? You didn’t say.”

Will cleared his throat, “I was trying to get a park permit for the VA BBQ”.

“I thought you did that right after lunch?”

“It took longer than expected,” Will said vaguely. 

Benny squinted his eyes at his older brother until the metaphorical lightbulb went off. “Oh shit!” he said, “You were with a girl! Fuck, I never would’ve called you away if I knew, you’ve been alone for so long!” 

Will threw his used napkin at his taunting brother, “Fuck off.”

“Seriously,” Benny said, not laughing anymore, “I hope I didn’t blow it for you, I want you to be happy.”

Will sighed, “I didn’t get her number, and I didn’t ask her out.”

Benny gave him a sympathetic smile, “At least you got the permit for the event.”

Will pinched the bridge of his nose, “Fuck, I completely forgot to actually get the permit.”

Benny smirked at him. “You know what that means, right?”

“No,” Will groaned. 

“You gotta go back and see her tomorrow.”

Will leaned back in his chair, his mood dramatically improved. 

The next morning you dragged yourself out of bed after your third alarm and skipped yoga, just not in the mood. You hoped stopping at Starbucks would get you out of your funk, but even your favorite coffee didn’t have its usual effect. You felt so stupid for feeling like this today. You literally knew Will Miller for all of one afternoon, it shouldn’t ruin your whole week that he didn’t ask you out. 

You walked into the office ready to be grumpy for the rest of the day when you noticed Will stand up from the chair in which he was sitting. 

Will had been waiting for you since the office opened. He was there long enough to wonder if what he was doing was creepy or sweet. The longer he waited, the worse he felt about his plan. Though once he saw you, his resolve formed and he stood to greet you. Any insecurity he had melted away when he saw how you smiled at him when you noticed him there. 

“Hey,” he started, finding his voice. 

“Hey,” you replied, breathless. 

“I never did fill out a permit yesterday, I got distracted by someone way more interesting than paperwork,” he said, unable to contain a grin. 

You felt something deep in your center as you too failed to contain a beaming smile. 

“I can help you with that,” you walked behind the permit desk and he met you on the other side. 

You handed him the paperwork and helped him fill everything out. The entire time neither of you could contain your ear splitting smiles. When he finished you stamped his form and returned his copy. 

“You’re all set, Mr. Miller,” you said, “Will there be anything else?”

He looked you the eye, “Are you free Friday night? I’d love to take you out.”

You nodded eagerly, “I’d like that.”

PART 2 

[nah-she-didnt]

Hunted

Read on AO3! 

I’m sure in the morning I’ll regret not proofreading this enough. Oh well!

--

“I’m bored,” Sirius declared. He sat with his back on the Gryffindor common room’s carpeted floor, legs bent at ninety degrees to rest on the couch in front of him. He and James had been attempting to finish their Transfiguration homework for approximately 18 minutes. 

James grinned, his eyes trained on his paper. “If you don’t get this done McGonagall’s going to have your arse for breakfast.” 

“Kinky.” 

“Idiot.” 

Sirius sighed and stuck his legs straight up in the air. “Nah she wouldn’t, Minnie loves me. Told me so herself.” 

“Come off it,” scoffed James, still valiantly trying to finish his sentence. 

“She did! She said, ‘Black, you’re a god among men, my greatest pride and joy, your Transfiguration skills are the stuff of legends,’ then she kissed me on the forehead, turned into a Hippogriff, and flew off into the sunset.” He paused. “On second thought, it’s possible it was all a dream.” 

“No kidding,” James muttered, throwing down his quill and rubbing his eyes. At this rate there was no way he was going to finish his homework before nine. He only had 30 minutes before he, Sirius, and Peter had to leave the dormitory to prepare for midnight with Moony. 

As James contemplated his homework crisis, Mary McDonald slid into the seat on the couch next to Sirius’ legs. She sighed dramatically as she dropped her school bag down next to her, then threw her head into her hands. “Gentlemen,” she said, her voice muffled by her palms, “it’s been a horrendously long day.” 

“Do tell?” said Sirius, his interest piqued. Listening to Mary complain about her day was less boring than watching James do homework. 

Mary looked up. “Have you ever wanted to trap all the seventh year Slytherin boys in a cage, then drop that cage in the middle of the black lake?” 

Sirius grinned. “Once or twice.” 

“Well, after today, I reckon Lily and I have had enough of them for a lifetime.” 

James’ head snapped up from his desk. He would have to finish his homework tomorrow.

“What happened?” he demanded. 

Mary looked surprised at his outburst. “Blimey, calm down. We were walking to Charms today and got cornered by Mulciber. Nothing major,” Mary said sharply, noticing that James had opened his mouth to interrupt her, “at first it was just the the usual ‘moodblood’ this and ‘mudblood that,’ nothing we haven’t heard before. But he wouldn’t let us past him, right? Held us up for a couple minutes until finally we got our wands out. He was outnumbered and he knew it, but he still wanted to goad us, so he started saying shit about Lily’s house.” 

James felt his blood run cold. “What do you mean, what about her house?” 

“What it looked like, the color of the front door, what her father looked like when he came home from work,” Mary shuddered. 

“We’ll get him.” Sirius said darkly, “I’m going to kill him.” 

“Easy, Black,” Mary said firmly, “he hasn’t got anything coming to him that I can’t deliver.” 

“What happened then?” interrupted James, whose hands had curled into fists. 

Mary shrugged. “We blasted him out of the way and made it to Charms two minutes late. Flitwick told me I couldn’t hand in my essay because ‘if it isn’t on time, what good is it at all?’ Wanker. Now my whole average is down because Mulciber decided to be an arsehole.” 

“What happened to Lily?” James tried not to sound annoyed as he spoke. He didn’t care much about her Charms average. 

“Haven’t seen her since, she wasn’t at dinner. She said she wasn’t bothered by what Mulciber said, that he wasn’t a threat. But I know she was lying,” Mary sighed, ‘she’s been worried this would happen for months. Mulciber and his little friends know she grew up near Snivellus, and they know where he lives. It was only a matter of time.” 

James jumped to his feet. “Sirius, tell the others I’m going to be late tonight.” 

“Uh-” Sirius stumbled, choosing his words carefully in front of Mary, “I dunno, mate. Bit of a tight schedule tonight, yeah? There isn’t a ton of room for error.”

“I’ll be there, just go without me,” James promised, and jogged toward the portrait hole. 

He pulled the map out of his pocket as he clambered into the corridor. He knew that she often tutored younger students after dinner, so when he unlocked the map he scanned every classroom he could find, but her name did not appear.  

James considered every conversation he could remember having with Lily. She loved the cozy atmosphere of the greenhouses, the peacefulness of the library, and hated the Astronomy Tower due to her fear of heights. She often visited the dungeons to tend to overnight potions for their NEWT class, but James remembered her encounter with Mulciber and reckoned she’d be keeping her distance from anywhere near the Slytherin common room. Finally, he found her. 

Lily’s dot sat motionless along the shore of the black lake. 

James frowned. He’d never known Lily to sneak out of the castle at night. Over the years he’d seen her miss a curfew or two, but as Head Girl she never went so far as to stray from the safety of the school. Still, it made sense. Lily loved the lake, loved to take of her shoes and socks and walk out into the shallows. James tried not to think about another time when Lily sat by the lake, when she called him an “arrogant, bullying toe-rag.” 

James pulled the invisibility cloak out of his other pocket and threw it over himself. He was half-way down the hall before he stopped in his tracks. What was he doing? Did Lily even want to be found? Clearly, she had taken care to put distance between herself and castle. That must mean she wanted to be alone. Even so, James didn’t like the idea of her alone on the grounds at night, especially when Mulciber and his cronies were getting more restless by the day. Lily’s spot on the shores of the lake was not far from the Whomping Willow. He could sit under his cloak just far enough away from Lily to give her privacy, but close enough that he could watch her back. 

He set off at a brisk walk, satisfied with his plan. He strolled down the hallway, through a tapestry into a secret passage, then down a flight of stairs. Nearing the main entrance he decided to check the map again to make no one would meet him between here and the Great Hall.

To his surprise, Lily’s dot had vanished. 

“Shit,” muttered James, feeling panic set in his stomach. Where had she gone? Had someone else found her first? 

No, there it was. Lily’s dot was back inside the castle, moving through the Great Hall and toward the- 

James stuffed the map in his pocket and darted down the corridor into the Great Hall. He bolted for the door to the dungeons and hurtled down, trying his best not to trip over the ancient stones that made up the staircase. As he reached the bottom of the stairs he slowed his pace, still aware that he was invisible. He hurried around a corner and under an archway into a silent corridor. It was nearly 9. The Slytherins should all be in bed by now. 

He spotted a figure at the end of the corridor. Lily’s silhouette was just visible against the torchlight. She leaned against the wall tapping her wand against her leg nervously. She was waiting. 

James pulled off the Invisibility Cloak. It wouldn’t work to sneak up on Lily and scare her half to death. He would have to try the reasonable approach. 

He walked purposefully down the hallway towards Lily. Sensing movement, Lily looked up, and frowned. “Out of bed, Potter? On a school night?” 

James raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same for you.” 

“Yeah, well,” Lily glanced darkly at the Slytherin common room door, “I’ve got unfinished business here.” 

“I heard,” James took a step between Lily and the door, and Lily faltered. 

“Don’t,” she breathed, holding out her hand to brace his arm, “Don’t try and stop me. He’ll sneak out tonight, I know it, he sends owls secretly at night. Sending information. He’s done it since fifth year. Sev told me. He’ll want to tell them all he got to me. But I won’t - won’t just sit by and watch it happen.” 

James nodded slowly. “What do you think you’re going to do tonight, Lily? Kill him?” 

She flinched. “Jesus, James,” she said, fear in her voice, “no, I’m not going to kill him, what’s the matter with you? He just needs to know that my Dad is off limits.” 

James put his hand over hers that still clutched his arm. “It’s not smart, waiting for him here. He could have backup in a second. You could get in trouble, get detention, suspended, kicked out. You’re not thinking this through.” 

Lily laughed coldly. “That’s a bit rich coming from you, don’t you think?” 

James clutched her hand tighter. Her eyes finally met his. “Lily,” he whispered as he stepped back, pulling her gently down the hall away from the Slytherin common room, “not tonight, alright? We’re going to protect your family, I promise, but this isn’t the way.” 

Her eyes widened further, but she nodded in agreement. She silently allowed James to guide her down the hallway. She turned when they reached the stairs, threw one last contemptuous look towards the dormitory, then turned to walk up the stairs. 

“It’s not my family, you know,” Lily spoke so softly James almost couldn’t hear her, “it’s just my Dad. Petunia lives in London so she can be near her atrocious fiancee.” 

James nodded, not looking at Lily. He knew that her mum had died a few years ago. “Sounds like family to me.”

The reached the top of the stairs and entered the Great Hall. Lily shrugged, sliding onto a bench. “I guess I mean it’s not my whole family, though really he’s the only one I’ve got left. And it’s not his fault, right? That I’m a witch? Not his fault that he’s being hunted just because by some freak accident his daughter was born magic.” Lily stopped abruptly, afraid that her resolve would break if she continued. 

James sank into the seat beside her. They sat in silence for a moment, Lily trying to regain control of her composure. James wasn’t sure what he could say. He couldn’t relate, really, to what she was going through. She was a muggleborn, he was pureblood, he’d never know what it was like to be any other way. 

But he did understand some things. 

James sat up a bit straighter and wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulders. “Did I ever tell you that our house was attacked this summer?” 

Lily started. “What? What do you mean, attacked? By who?” 

James grimmaced. “Take a guess.” 

She stared at him. “What happened?”

James sighed, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “My folks have been with Dumbledore for a long time. My Dad was big at the ministry for a while, until he started speaking out against Voldemort. He and mum made their fare share of enemies, and I guess we got a bit lazy with our protective enchantments. They blasted a hole in the side of our house. Must have thought they would get my parents’ room.” 

Or my room, he thought suddenly, but he pushed the thought away hurriedly. 

“Anyway, they missed, got the library instead. But we had to beef up security after that. We’re unplottable, for now, and we’ve got caterwauling charms all over the place. Caught Sirius sneaking out one night to see Remus,” James chuckled.

Lily leaned a little closer to him under his arm. “That’s awful,” she muttered, twisting her hands in her lap. 

“Yeah, it was,” replied James, resting his cheek against the top of her head. 

They sat like that for a few minutes, silent, breathing together, touching but not caressing. Clinging to one another. 

Suddenly, the giant clock above the hall chimed. It was 9. 

James swore. “Shit. Lily, I’m so sorry, I have to go.”

Lily looked crestfallen. “Really? Well, alright, if you have something better to do than talk me off ledges.” 

“Would it make you feel better if I told you it was for Remus?” 

Lily’s face broke into a small smile. “Yes, it would.” 

“Well, it is. Here,” He pulled the cloak from his back pocket, “take this, you’ll need it to get back to the dorm without running Filch, or anyone else.” 

“What-” Lily’s mouth fell open, “is this an invisibility cloak?”

“Er, yeah,” James said awkwardly, “it was my Dad’s.” 

“Jesus,” she breathed, rubbing the fabric between her thumb and forefinger, “you’re a mysterious man, Potter.” 

“Yes I’m a regular Unspeakable, now you’ve got to go. Just keep that cloak safe, will you?” 

“Yes sir,” she said with a mock salute. Then she threw the cloak over herself and, he presumed, left the hall on her way to bed. 

[gingerale2017]

Eat

So I took a while for updating this but I finally uploaded it yesterday. Anyways, here it is! (If you have Wattpad, please vote and comment on my story)

A full bowl of cat food looked back at Kai as he picked it up and sighed. She still didn't eat. It's been almost a week, and she still hasn't eaten. The veterinarians said that she might have an eating disorder since there was nothing else wrong with her. That didn't help. Cinder said that the vets were wrong and that she was dying.

Of course, Cinder said this smugly as she pet the gray-haired dog in her lap. Kai looked at Fiona, who was wandering around as a cat does and so skinny you could see her ribs. She drank but didn't eat. The dog started sniffing at Fiona's food, and Kai shooed him away.

Cinder walked in then, her brow furrowed as she read something on her port. She sipped a cup of coffee and set it on the little table in the pet room. She kneeled to rub Drew's fur and scratched him behind the ears, saying, "you're such a good boy" and "I missed you," the same way one would coo a baby.

Then, "Hey Kai." That's it. Not that he was jealous of a dog or anything.

"She still hasn't eaten," he grumbled and picked up the bowl again.

"Aw, maybe she realized that canned food is disgusting and reserved to eat out in the wild. Like catching birds and stuff, " she went to go sit on the big brown sofa, and Kai followed.

"No, Fiona's not a savage."

"She bit me once. Like a savage cat. Stars, I hate her."

"Drew scratched me once, but you don't see me calling him a savage dog! Besides, what are you're deal with cats anyways?"

"Nothing, it's just that cat," she wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"She's a wonderful cat," Kai paused before continuing, "maybe we shouldn't have gotten pets in the first place."

"We didn't have a choice," Cinder looked darkly at the window as if recollecting. He started to remember too. They were visiting Thorne and Cress at the Rampion, and while Cress went to go pick up food, Thorne managed to steal them for a hot second.

He called it: Captain Thorne's Marriage Counseling, even though Kai and Cinder didn't need it at all. Then he said that they should get pets, and immediately Kai said hamster. Thorne nodded, and the next time they met, he had a dog and a cat.

Kai immediately got in well with the cat and named it Fiona. She was a proud and stubborn cat with a sarcastic aura. She kind of reminded him of Cinder.

Cinder chose the dog and named it Drew. And that dog was so annoying. It always wanted attention and only enjoyed Cinder. It gets depressed whenever she was gone, and it got on Kai's nerves every single time. It was also stupid in a cute way; it would bump into a wall, but it was still adorable.

Also, to make matters worse, Cinder gave the dog attention. She had trained him to be depressed whenever she wasn't around and is now super attached to her. Whenever Kai tried to be romantic with Cinder, he was there. Whenever Kai wanted to get Cinder alone, he was there. Whenever Kai wanted to tell her something important, Drew was there. The dog was everywhere.

But, again, Kai wasn't jealous of the dog. Drew's just a dog. He couldn't steal Cinder from Kai's hands and run away to someplace exotic and get married. Right?

"Here, Drew, you wanna play fetch? I know you do," She said, waving a rope around. The dog yelped, and she threw the rope across the room and onto the couches. Drew jumped onto the leather couch and grabbed the toy violently. Then he jumped off and climbed in Cinder's lap, leaving the sofa tilted and the rug flipped.

Kai grumbled and went to fix the rug and couch. Also, the dog was messy.

"Still, this is a problem. We have to find out why Fiona is not eating."

"I'm sure she's going to be fine, " Fiona came out of her hiding place and prowled the couch Cinder was sitting in. She sneezed and brought her warmth to cover her mouth. Drew winced and placed his head in her lap.

"But-"

"You're going to the vet tomorrow, and maybe they might figure out what's wrong with her, " she sneezed again, and Kai began to worry.

"Are you alright?" he asked tenderly.

"Yeah, I might go to the med wing to find out why I can't shake this cold."

"Are you allergic? To cats?"

"No- there was a cat in my old apartment, and nothing ever happened. I'm sure I'm fine, " Cinder smiled her heavenly smile and got up, "we'll I have to look over a few documents, and I'll see you later, okay?"

He nodded. She pecked his cheek and walked away. Drew sighed and flopped on the floor, and stared at the doorway Cinder walked out of.

"Oh, get over it. You'll see her later, " Drew ignored him. He sighed and decided to take Fiona to the vet a day early. She needed to eat as soon as possible.

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩ (Cinder's POV)

Stupid cat. Stupid, crazy, irritating, always-in-the-way cat.

It wasn't Cinders fault that Fiona attacked her. It was self-defense! She didn't mean to shoot Kai's pet!

Cinder remembered trying to bond with Fiona when it downright attacked her. She brought her metal hand out, and the next thing she knew was seeing the black cat on the ground with a tranquilizer dart in the stomach.

She ran to the veterinarian as quickly as possible and gave it to vets there. They took care of her, and due to the medicine they gave Fiona, the cat might not eat for about a week. Cinder told them if her husband came by with Fiona, please say to him that nothing is wrong. Then she left.

With the stupid cat, she tranquilized in her arms.

Stars, Cinder hated Fiona. She would always pounce around the palace like she was the empress instead. And when she was around Kai, she would demand attention from him and stand proud as she deserved it.

But Drew, on the other hand, was the animal embodiment of Kai. He was dorky, cute, attention-seeking, and so easy to forgive.

But Kai loathed Drew, and Cinder couldn't understand why. They were like twins!

A sudden headache overtook Cinder, and she put a hand on the wall. The pain grew until she had to stop and grit her teeth. The headache disappeared as can't as it came, and she suddenly felt nauseous.

Gulping, she made her way to the elevator and asked the android operating it to head to the medical floor. She got inside and placed her cool metal hand on her forehead.

Once the doors opened, Cinder stumbled, and some people in white lab coats looked at her skeptically.

She made her way into the labyrinth known as the medical wing. The scent of multiple cleaning agents welcomed her.

When she finally made it to her doctor's office, she knocked and received a soft smile.

"Ambassador Linh-Blackburn, I wasn't expecting you, but still a pleasure, " the doctor said. She was shorter than Cinder and had a pageboy haircut. Her hair was onyx black and had striking red lips and bright green eyes.

"Good afternoon Doctor Zhao. I am sorry for not scheduling an appointment earlier; I think I have a virus of sorts. Do you have any extra time today for a check-up?"

"Of course, Ambassador Linh."

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ (Kai's POV)

Cinder Please come to my room ASAP.

It was surprisingly hard carrying a cat and reading your port. Kai just came back from the vet and got unexpected results.

First, it was a new vet that checked on Fiona. Second, the vet accidentally revealed that Cinder had visited them this week with Fiona before she stopped eating. Third, the vet stopped talking suddenly and said that Fiona should be perfectly fine any time now.

Kai got a little suspicious.

Now Cinder just asked him to come to his room as soon as possible. He had a difficult decision to make. Either drop off Fiona in the 'pet room' that was actually a deserted closet they found near his office, or go to her room and take the cat with him.

The room was closer to him, and he was worried about Cinder, so Kai chose option two.

Once he got there, he rapped on the door and heard his fiancee welcoming him in.

"Hey, love, what's wrong?" he asked softly. He closed the door behind him and Cinder bundled up in the bed. Her voice was unusually raspy which Kai to be even more concerned.

"I have been diagnosed with a virus that's been going around the castle and I have a confession to make, " she bit her lip and fiddled with the beige blanket, "I truly am sorry in advance for what I'm about to say-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're sick?! Why haven't you told me earlier?" she gave him a look for cutting her off but then saw Fiona and looked away as if ashamed. He dropped the cat and made his way towards the bed.

"Get back, I don't want you to get sick too, " Cinder thrust her hands up as Kai laid down next to her and moved the thin blanket higher up. She sighed in defeat, "I just found out today. Remember when I told you I was going to get myself checked out?" he nodded, "apparently there's some sort of virus and a lot of people went home because of it, and now I have it. Symptoms are nausea, headaches, vomiting, fever etcetera."

"Sounds fun, " she rolled her eyes. Kai brought her head to his chest and began to stroke it, "we'll get through it together."

Cinder snorted, "that was incredibly cheesy."

"I'm serious. I'd rather suffer with you than just watching you suffer alone." He kissed her hair, "what about the confession you were going to tell me."

She tensed, then pulled away from Kai. Waited for two, three heartbeats before continuing, "It's about Fiona, " she fiddled with the blanket again.

"What about her?" she gave him a 'are you serious?' look.

"Her diet? Remember she hasn't been eating all week?"

"The vet said that she'll get better any day now."

"No, I have to tell you why and how she stopped eating, " Cinder sighed.

When he didn't respond, she continued: "I was petting Fiona one day and then she downright attacked me and scratched my metal hand. I freaked out because I wasn't expecting that and I accidentally... shot her, " she moaned and brought the blanket to her head, "ugh these headaches, sorry. And I am very sorry for shooting your cat."

Her voice came to a whisper as if she was losing confidence with every line. Kai didn't know what to do at first, but then when she moaned in pain, his first instinct was to hold her and comfort her. But instead, he sat still as stone and could barely feel Cinders body against his.

"I know that you have every right to be mad and yell at me, but in my defense, she attacked me and it was simply, uh, self-defense, " she rambled, "b-but still, I should've controlled myself before shooting her, and I really am sorry Kai, and-" he covered her mouth with his hands and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. The same ones that happened to be synthetic, but still wonderfully stunning. Like her. Cinder may have some flaws (not her metal parts, obviously, those are perfect) but she still manages to make life wonderful. And she was stunning herself too.

"K-kai?" she asked after tenderly taking his hand in hers in her lap. He looked down at the hand that was holding his and brought the hard metal surface to his lips. He could feel her tense but ignored it.

"I forgive you, " he said with a smirk. Her wonderfully stunning eyes swelled with relief, "she 'attacked' you? And it was 'self-defense?"

"It was!"

They laughed in unison and their heads touched. They at there for a while, just enjoying each other's company.

She shifted and placed her head in his chest once again. "Hey Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For being an understanding boyfriend."

"Fiancée, " Kai corrected.

"Fiancée, " she coughed and shivered right after.

"I love you Cinder."

"I love you too Kai."

I'm so sorry for taking so long on this story, but I'm making a part 2 sometime later. Please forgive me, I need some extra inspiration on this.

*hint for part 2* remember the symptoms for the virus and Cinder randomly sneezing when Fiona was around.

Have a great day! -Angie

[bananxjin]

Trophy Wife || 5-1

↦ Coworker!Seokjin x Reader

↦ WC: 6,349

↦ Drama || Angst || Fluff || Slow Burn

↦ Trigger Warnings: Insecurity, Verbal abuse, Intrusive thoughts?

↦ Tagged: @lysannnnaa​, @vanillanjin​

↦ Summary: You thought you knew what you wanted – You were sure you knew what you wanted. You thought the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage with your fiance, Touru Kim; the love of your life, the future father of your children, and the man of your dreams, but things happen. Events begin to unfold, and the relationship falls apart. You see the true colors of your husband-to-be, and you realize that maybe he’s not what you built him up to be. With everything laid out in front of you, you knew the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage.

Just not with Touru.

(A/N: Uuuhhh, I’m no chef, and I have no experience cooking for someone who’s sick. Everything I’ve written is purely for entertainment, and never take my “advice” on uuhhh.... anything. On an unrelated note, this chapter is for @bangtanlalaland​ for kicking my ass into gear and convincing me to post this <3 Ily sweets!)

✨ Masterlist ✨

“Ah! Fuck…” “Oh my god, are you okay?” “Ugh. Yeah, I’m fine.” “Please be really careful! I don’t want you to hurt yourself!” “I said I’m fine, Jin!” “Next time you can take this side, and I’ll walk backwards!”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not made of glass, Jin. It’s not going to kill me if I get a few cuts and scrapes.” You reminded him, slowly hauling the dark wood bookshelf up another step.

The two of you had been at it for the last couple of hours, packing the heavy furniture into the back of his roommates truck and bringing it over to his new place. Although the apartment he’d been living in with his roommates was so nice, he insisted, “It gets old living with people after a while, ya know?” Then shyly added on as an after thought, “And I’m getting real sick of Hobi’s one night stands every other week.” Which turned you both into blushing messes. You’d decided not to ask anymore questions.

You explained your car-less situation to Jin the night before, and he was more than happy to accommodate your needs. Not only coming to pick you up, but being kind enough to wait until Touru had left for work. Really left. As in making Jin wait an additional two hours after Touru had pulled off your street. Just out of sheer paranoia that somehow, he’d catch you in your web lies. Jin didn’t complain about the wait, he was just happy to have the extra set of hands to get the work done.

No, Jin didn’t need to question why you were being so funny about Touru. He liked to think he’d connected the dots pretty well after watching your reactions when talking about him and his family. Touru’s just a jealous guy, and he gets that; he’s gotta protect you. You’re his gorgeous fiancee after all, and he didn’t want to lose you. Of course, that didn’t do anything to deter Jin’s major crush on you, but he understood.

“Okay, swing it to the left.” You huffed, “As far as you can swing it.” Jin complied, waddling to the far corner of the hallway. You struggled to pull it through without nicking the doorframe nor the bookcase. You were almost worried it wouldn’t fit through the doorway, but with enough determination and another push, you two somehow managed to squeeze it into his bedroom. “Okay. Where are we setting this baby?”

“Over here.” Now taking control, he wiggled his way around to the other side of the room. With your help maneuvering the bookshelf upright, it now sat nice and pretty right next to his closet. “Ah, there we go! That looks wonderful.” He said, dusting his hands on his jeans. “Are you okay? Let me see your hand, that sounded painful!” He exclaimed, taking your left wrist between his hands. You just rolled your eyes again. A dramatic groan passed your lips. “I’m fine, dad.”

“Don’t sass me.” He mockingly warned, smiling at you before he was drawn back to your arm, checking it at every angle to make sure there was no scratching or bruising. “Seriously. You nearly crushed your arm between that giant behemoth and the wall. I just don’t want you getting hurt because of me.”

“If anything, I’d get hurt from being careless. You don’t need to worry so much.” You slid your arm out of his hold before playfully booping him on the nose with the same hand, causing him to smile at you. “Why don’t you set your bed frame up, and I’ll go put your food away.” You suggested, nodding towards his bare mattress leaning against the wall.

“Sounds good. It shouldn’t take me too long!” He chirped happily. “After that, we just have the futon and my clothes left. Then we should be done.” You smiled and nodded at him.

“Well if you need me, I will be in the kitchen!” You gave him a brief smile before disappearing around the corner to make your grand exit back down the L-shaped staircase. You pulled your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans once you got to the bottom, quickly reading through your texts before you got started.

You: “Okay, I’m getting on the train now. Yuna said she’ll meet me at the station.”

You: “I should be home by fiveish tonight. Lmk if your work schedule changes. I love you!”

Touru: “❤” Touru: “Did Yuna pick you up?” Touru: “Hello?” Touru: “You need to start leaving your ringer on so you can text me back /:” Touru: “Alright. I’ll be on my lunch break in two hours. Talk to you then.”

You also noticed the four consecutive missed calls, but you knew better than to call him back at this point. You sighed and sent a quick apology, telling him you’ve been busy moving all morning, then got to work stocking Jin’s new kitchen.

You had to remind yourself that Touru’s always been like this, and it’s not because he knew you were actually with Jin. With your mind and hands preoccupied, the anxiety had actually settled for the morning and most of the afternoon, chatting it up with Jin and offering interior design advice when asked. You can’t be upset when you’re busy, right? Now that you were alone with nothing but a box of perishables and a couple kitchen utensils, you couldn’t think about anything but your fiance.

You kept telling yourself that Touru’s always been the overbearing type, and you’re getting worked up over nothing. It felt like you’re always reminding yourself of your fiance’s little quirks these days, and yet, you continue to put yourself in situations like this one. Situations where you’re going behind his back, and thus kicking his overbearing ways into overdrive, so could you really blame him? On the other hand, you shouldn’t have to choose between your friend and your fiance. It’s not like you even had anything to hide, you’re not doing anything that would make you unfaithful.

Maybe you should take a step back and try to see it from his eyes.

You did lie to him so you could help Jin today.

You sighed, imagining what Touru would say -- How Touru would react if he knew where you really were. Touru’s never been the violent type, but you had a sneaking suspicion that he very well may knock Jin on his ass if he ever found out about today, but not before tearing into you. Although you don’t think he’d ever lay a hand on you, thinking about it still put you on edge.

Why couldn’t you just stand your ground with him? You knew Touru had his own friends. Or at least you’re pretty sure he still had his own friends. These days, he doesn’t go out with them much. Back when he was in high school, he had a whole slew of people he hung around with. Several of the girls in his group would flock to him, but you didn’t remember getting jealous all too often. Maybe a little insecure, and you’d end up bickering about that, but he’d end up reassuring you in the end.

You haven’t reassured him in a bit.

You pursed your lips at the nagging thought, hopping on your tiptoes so you could reach one of the high shelves. It’s not like reassuring did either of you any good when it came to Jin, though. It’s like his name could come up, and the air in the room would change at the drop of a dime. You’ve reminded Touru several times you only love him, but you’re always met with, “I know, but…”

But…

It’s always ‘but’.

“But you see him everyday.” “But you talk about him all the time.” “But are you sure he doesn’t like you?” “But I saw you with him when I picked you up.” “But sometimes you act like you like him more than a friend.”

But, but, but, but, but!

The excuses just kept coming and coming, and it was starting to get exhausting having to defend yourself all the time. It was starting to scare you, really. There’ve been several sleepless nights where you’ve lied there contemplating your relationship. The stability especially. If Touru felt like he couldn’t trust you, then what was the point? And why wouldn’t he talk to you about it instead of his sister, or whoever?

You once tried to ask him why he wasn’t worried about any of your other male coworkers when you brought them up, but that started another argument. “I don’t know, should I be worried, (Y/n)?!” He yelled. “It’s starting to feel like you enjoy spending your time with them more than you enjoy spending your time with me!”

To which you blatantly pointed out that all five of his closest assistants were women, and he really does spend more time at work than he ever does with you, but he was offended that you’d even mention that. “They’re all married and would never look at me like that! They actually have some respect for my relationship!” He’d retorted. “Do I have to remind you how tiresome my career is? Do you think I enjoy sitting down and looking at numbers and spreadsheets everyday? Or going to meetings and discussing the same numbers with corporate? Day in and day out?” He yelled. “I do what I have to do so I can take care of us, (Y/n). To pay for this fucking house and give us a good life and pay for that fucking wedding!” As if his work schedule was the problem. You ended up walking away after a while because you didn’t want him to see you cry. You crying amidst an argument never ended well.

Like he had any right yelling at you about money problems…

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, reminding yourself that it was just another rough patch. Especially now that it felt like your wedding was just over the horizon, it was taking a toll on both of you. You had a long road ahead as the two of you were getting ready to start your lives together.

It’s fine; it’s completely normal. All couples go through this stage. Especially couples who’ve been together as long as you two have.

You stepped away from the counter after stocking the last few boxes so you could stretch, arching your back until it cracked in just the right spot, causing you to moan out.

“Ooh, that feels so good…” “Hey--”

You yelped, turning towards Jin who was leaning against the archway of the kitchen with a soft smile on his face. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled when you playfully scowled at him. “I’m done with the bed. We can go get the futon if you’re ready.”

And so you guys headed back out, taking the elevator to the garage, and hauling the futon back up to the third floor. Unfortunately for you both, the futon didn’t come apart, so it would have to go up in one piece. You worried for a moment you might have to carry it up all those flights of stairs, but you two managed to stand it upright and just barely shove it in the elevator with you.

Although it was a tight squeeze and definitely took some work, you and Jin made it work. Perhaps the only downside was being squished chest to chest with your coworker. He gave himself a double chin trying to look down at you with a goofy smile. “We’re like three peas in a pod, huh?” He giggled. “Just you, me, and this stupid couch that Yoongi insisted I took.”

You smiled at his faux frustration with his friend. “Let’s just hope the elevator doesn’t break down on us now. I’m not sure how long I could stand here with that metal piece jabbing me in the leg like this.”

“Ah, if it comes to that, I’ll find a way to switch sides with ya. Then It can jab me in the leg.” He winked.

True to his word, Jin insisted he be the one that would walk the furniture backwards this time. The futon wasn’t nearly as heavy as the bookshelf had been, but you were starting to get worn out. You made the poor decision of wearing a wool sweater today. You thought you would still get cold despite all the moving, but all you could focus on now was how uncomfortable you felt with the cold, damp fabric laying against your back.

Finally dropping the futon off in it’s designated spot, you straightened your back and shook out your sweater a bit in an attempt to dry it. “Thank god we’re done with the furniture, huh?” Jin giggled, plopping down on the couch to take a breather. You smiled, opting to sit on the arm instead of sitting right beside him. “It’s a nice little workout.”

He nodded in agreement. “Hey, I wanted to thank you again for helping me. I know you didn’t have to do this, but…” He cleared his throat. “I really appreciate it. And I hope it didn’t cause too many problems between you and your fiance.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Hey, don’t sweat it. It’s what friends are for.” He smiled shyly and looked away from you. “Okay. There’s like, five boxes of clothes downstairs, I think. We can haul those upstairs and then I’ll run ya home, okay?” He groaned as he stood up off the couch.

You smiled. “Sounds good! Actually, if you want-- Ah!”

The tip of your boot caught on the busted leg of the futon as you moved towards the door, causing you to trip, but Jin jumped forward to catch you. His arms wrapped around your waist in a protective hold while your hands immediately jutted out to grasp his biceps for safety. “Yah! What did I tell you about being careful!?”

You chuckled in relief as you looked up at him. “Thank you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Any words you meant to say had died on your tongue as you finally caught his eye. The way he gazed at you with hooded eyes and parted lips was reminiscent of the way he’d watched you in the stockroom that night. The way he’d made you shiver with want. The way his fingertips burned on your skin, or how you longed for him to kiss you. You could feel the way both yours and his chest were rising and falling in sync. The way his warm breath brushed against your lips each time he exhaled.

It seems God’s given you a second chance.

You couldn’t help but notice his flushed cheeks, or how his hair was sticking every which way. Probably from tousling it one too many times. Your fingers tingled with a burning desire to reach up and fix it for him. Brush it back behind his ear, feel the silky strands along your fingertips. Anything just so you could touch him a little more, but you didn’t move a muscle.

His eyes shift for a moment, brows furrowing in concentration as his pupils trace out the shape of your face, memorizing every freckle, line, and detail. Even after such a long day's work, you still managed to look beautiful as ever. He loved how bright your cheeks looked in the sunset glow. His eyes trailed down to your lips, entranced by their shape and in the way they’re parted. He wanted to believe he was the reason you were blushing; wanted to believe so badly that you wanted to kiss him just as bad as he wanted to kiss you.

You grew the tiniest bit insecure beneath his gaze feeling very much aware of how gross you may look despite the cold weather outside. You’d give anything to know what he was thinking right now, but your voice was lost on you. You were too wrapped up in Jin -- Both literally and figuratively to think about anything other than him.

Jin. Jin. Jin...

Your eyes lingered on his lips for a moment before you’re reaching out to hold his cheek in the palm of your hand. To your surprise, he leaned his cheek further into your touch, letting his eyes drift close. “You’re so warm.” He breathed against your skin. You could just faintly feel the movement of his lips against your hand as he spoke.

“You are, too.” You rasped. “You’re really warm… Are you shivering?” You ask in a hushed tone, voice laced with concern.

Jin tried, and failed to suppress a chuckle. “I thought we were having a moment, and now you’re worried about me.”

Your hand that’d been pressed to his cheek was now pressed to his forehead. “You’re feverish.” You shook your head, taking him by the arm and dragging him back to the couch. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner.”

“(Y/n), you really don’t have to worry. It’s not a big deal--” But it was too late. You’d already rushed to the bathroom, digging through the singular box that read “Bathroom supplies” but you came up empty.

“Where’s your medicine?” You hollered. “I don’t have any. I don’t usually get sick.” Jin yelled back, nearly hacking up a lung as a result. Okay, maybe he was worse than he thought.

“God, I thought you were smarter than that, Jin.” You sighed, heading towards the stairwell. “You left the linen box upstairs, right?” He nodded, but you were already heading up, not even heeding him a second glance. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him suddenly when another thought crossed his mind. Oh no, what if she’s angry at me?

Your footsteps echoed in the stairwell as you reappeared in the living room carrying his king size comforter. “(Y/n), I’m really sorry. You really don’t have to do this for me--”

“Why are you apologizing to me?” You asked as you pulled him up a bit so you could drape the comforter around his body. “You’re the one that got sick.”

“Yeah, but you’re trying to take care of me--” “It’s because I care about you, dummy.”

You said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and that shut him up real quick. Jin watched you absently as he continued to mull over your words. He knew you cared about him; you cared about him the same way he cared about you, but actually hearing you voice it out loud was making his heart race. He felt something akin to when your plane first takes off, and you feel that little tickle in the pit of your belly. Except this time, the girl he liked told him she cared about him. And that tickle was by no means little.

“Good thing I unpacked your kitchen earlier, huh?” You laughed from the other side of the wall, breaking Jin out of his trance. “I mean, I’m glad your milk isn’t spoiled, but now I know where everything is hidden because I’m the one that put it there.” You giggled.

He smiled at the thought. You and him moving all his shit into his new apartment had felt so domestic. Yeah, you did know where everything was now, didn’t you? He was weirdly happy about that. He could just barely see you around the corner, standing at the oven stirring something in a small pot. You danced around his kitchen collecting whatever you needed, humming a little tune to yourself as you did so.

You looked so natural standing in his space. Like you were meant to be there, and Jin wondered for a moment if this is what things would be like if you two were a couple. Earlier, you’d gotten a little bit too warm from constantly moving around, and he watched the way you’d effortlessly thrown your hair into a ponytail and shoved the sleeves of your sweater up. It was such a normal, human thing to do, but seeing you do it had him swooning.

‘She looks so cute in that sweater…’

‘It only makes me wish she’d wear my sweaters like that.’

He blushed at the thought and snuggled further beneath his blanket, pulling it up around his cheeks. It was still a stressful day, and both of you definitely had your moments of frustration, but having you around made everything so much easier. You guys were talking about Christmas on the way over, and you told him a little more about your mom and what it was like growing up in a town like this. He loved it. He felt like such a starved man, and the only thing that would fulfill his hunger; his only saving grace was you. Learning more and more about you. Oh, he thrived on it.

He knew it was wrong and incredibly selfish of him. To ask you to do something like this on one of your days off when you probably could’ve spent it with Touru. Hell, you could’ve spent it working on something you’d enjoy much more, but he couldn’t help himself. He craved you. He wanted to be wrapped up in a blanket made purely of (Y/n) and never have to leave. But that was all a pipe dream. He didn’t have the heart to come in between your relationship. No matter how jealous he might be of Touru, or how much he may have disliked him…

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.

“Sorry it took me so long.” You sighed, carrying a steaming bowl with both hands as you sat beside him. You placed the bowl on your knee and blew on the spoonful of soup.

“Open up!” You smiled, holding the spoon out to Jin, which only made him blush more. “I-I can feed myself, you know!” He stuttered, but you just shrugged. “C’mon. Humor me.”

He complied with you just this once, refusing to look you in the eye as you dipped the spoon into his mouth. He thought he knew what he was expecting, but it seemed you were just filled with surprises as the liquid that touched his tongue tasted like anything but chicken noodle soup.

“Ugh! Hot!” “Ah, I’m sorry! I thought it was cool enough--” “No, no! It’s so spicy!” He cried while taking deep breaths, desperately trying to cool his mouth off. You set the bowl down and ran off to retrieve a glass of water, which he nearly chugged half of in one gulp. “Oh my god, what did you put in that?”

“It’s chicken noodle soup with spicy chili peppers.” You said. “Well… In this case, chicken noodle soup with chili powder, black pepper, and hot sauce. You didn’t have any fresh chili’s so I had to make do.”

Jin swallowed another mouthful of water before setting it off to the side. “My mom used to make spicy soup for me anytime I got sick. It may not taste the greatest, but it’ll break that fever of yours and clear those sinuses right up!” You said cheerfully as you sat next to Jin once again, pulling the soup into your lap. Jin was quick to take the bowl away from you so he could feed himself at his own pace.

“Th-thank you.” He mumbled, preparing his poor tongue for another dreadful spoonful. “I can’t guarantee I’ll finish all of it…”

“Oh, that’s okay! You don’t have to! Just enough until you feel yourself sweating.” You giggled, taking his water cup to refill it. “You probably have to do this for Touru too, don’t you?” He sounded guilty, and maybe a little too jealous, but you didn’t seem to notice. You just shook your head no. “I would! But Touru goes to the doctor if he even so much as sneezes too many times. He won’t allow himself to get sick.”

Huh. Jin hums. Wimp.

“Why are you doing all of this for me?” “I already told you it’s because I care about you.” He cleared his throat. “No, I know that. I mean… You don’t gain anything from helping me like this. Not with moving and especially not taking care of me.”

You rolled your eyes. “God. Does everybody have to expect something in return when they do favors for people?”

“No, no I didn’t mean it like that!” You shook your head. “Sorry, I wasn’t directing that towards you.” You sighed. “It just reminded me of something my mother-in-law said a couple years ago. It… Really pissed my mom off.”

Jin frowned. “What’d she say?” You shrugged. “She asked Touru if he was sure about me. Because I can’t give him anything other than children.” Your voice was almost a whisper, looking down as you picked at your nails so you wouldn’t have to look Jin in the eye. “Mom and I weren’t very financially sound while I was growing up, and I think Touru’s mom looks down on us for that.”

“She said that in front of you?” “In front of my mom.” You corrected him. You shrugged. “It’s whatever, ya know? I don’t care what his parents think about me. He loves me…”

Jin swiped at the corner of his mouth with his thumb, “Touru at least stood up for you though, didn’t he?”

“Not really, I don’t think.” You answered honestly. “If he did, he didn’t tell me. Then again, he doesn’t really speak out against his parents. I mean, I get it. He’s inheriting his father's company in a couple of years. He needs to stay on their good side and all…”

Jin took a deep breath, trying to carefully construe his next words, but he was coming up empty. What could he possibly say that didn’t make him sound angry? Infuriated? Not just with Touru’s parents, but Touru himself. You’re supposed to be the love of his life; how could he ever stand for anyone to treat you that way, especially his own parents. Jin could only hope Touru wasn’t treating you the same way.

“It all evens out, though! I mean, my mom can’t stand him, so… Anyway!” You chirped, breaking the intensity of the conversation. “To answer your question: I don’t need a reason to do nice things for you, or anyone really. If I’m doing something for you, it’s only because I care about you.” You giggled. “There is no ulterior motive and I don’t expect anything in return, okay?”

Jin watched you sadly as you took the bowl from him. He knew you were hurting, so why wouldn’t you lean on him for support? “Let’s get you into bed, yeah? You’ve done plenty of work today, and you need the rest.” You wrapped an arm around his bundled up waist. Despite the spicy soup and giant blanket, you could still feel his body was shivering beneath the thick fabric. It was nearing six o’clock at this point, but you still wanted to stop by the corner store to grab Jin some medicine before you left.

Touru will be fine with leftovers. It’s one night, it won’t kill him.

With you by his side and a heavy blanket to boot, Jin waddled up the stairs carefully as he could not to trip you up. “She’s wrong, you know?” Jin mumbled under a shaky breath, “Touru’s mom.” You smiled at him. “Oh yeah?” He nodded. “So wrong.”

You guys made it halfway up the second flight of stairs before Jin added, “Touru’s a really lucky guy, you know?” You blushed. Hearing such kind words from Jin wasn’t uncommon, but your heart still screamed with joy every time he complimented you or offered you words of support.

“What am I saying?” He tsked himself,  “Of course you know, you’re the wonderful woman he’s marrying after all.”

Jin...

You faltered a bit, but Jin was quick to grab your arm, steadying you. You quietly thanked him as  you shuffled into the room in front of you, arm in arm. He smiled as you guided him to lay down. Your hands shook just the tiniest bit as you took the king size blanket from him so you could throw it over his form. He kept smiling, eyes never straying from your face. “I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you.” He cooed softly.

You swallowed thickly as you tucked the blanket around him before sitting on the bed beside him.

‘Don’t do this to me, Jin. It’s unfair.’

It was much darker in his room with only the hall light to illuminate your view. He closed his eyes as you felt his forehead again, gently dragging your hand up so you could push his hair off his face. He didn’t feel as warm as he did earlier, but you were still worried about him. “I’m going to get you some medication before I head out for the night. Is there anything else you need?” You whispered. Jin frowned and sat up, but you were quick to push him back down.

“It’s getting dark out. I really should--” “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Jin. I’d rather you stayed in bed.” You frowned. “But I’m worried about your safety.” He frowned back, but you shook your head. “I take the train back and forth all the time. I’ll be fine.” You reassured him. “Do you want anything else?”

He shook his head no. “You’ve already done more than enough for me, (Y/n). I’ll be okay.” You smiled softly, running your fingers through his hair again. It felt soft and fluffy. You silently wished you and Jin had met under different circumstances. You hoped that in another life, you two were able to enjoy a life of domestic bliss together. Maybe it was selfish of you to feel this way, but right now, you wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with him and run your fingers through his hair all night. Just talking and cuddling with him until the two of you would finally fell asleep in each other's arms.

But he’s not yours. And you’re not his, you reminded yourself.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight knowing I didn’t do as much as I could to help you.” You whispered. Your eyes fall on his plump lips again. His gorgeous lips which were always smiling for you, even now when he’s not feeling his best.

Whoever ends up marrying Jin is going to be the luckiest person in the world.

Hopefully he’ll end up with someone who makes him as happy as he makes others.

You hesitated for a moment before leaning in, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. “I’ll leave the bag on your doorknob, okay?” You whispered, leaning in close to his ear.

Jin shifted a bit under your weight, nodding stiffly.

“Y-yeah.” He stuttered, “That’s fine.” You nodded, gazing longingly at the beautiful tuft of hair splayed out over his pillow. Just one more time, you bargained, slowly dragging your fingers through his silky stands. Jin closed his eyes, dozing off to the feeling of your fingers running through his hair. The two of you sat there in each other's company, silently hoping for another opportunity like this in your future, never quite telling the other that you’d rather spend the rest of your nights together, just like this.

The next time Jin would open his eyes again, you’d be gone.

__

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!”

Your calves burned as you raced down the street, feeling like the very bones that carried you may collapse underneath your weight, but you needed to get home as soon as possible. The sun had gone down over an hour ago, your train ended up arriving half an hour late due to maintenance, and your phone died before you even got to the train station, but you didn’t need your phone to tell you how royally fucked you were.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Touru demanded the second you got through the front door. You dropped your bag and keys on the table, trying to take a second to catch your breath before staking your defense. The bright red numbers on your oven caught your eye almost immediately.

7:42 PM. Nearly two hours after Touru got home from work.

“I was--” You coughed, “with Yuna--” “There’s no way you were still helping Yuna this late at night!” You shook your head no, “I’m sorry. Yuna took me out for dinner as a thank you.” You lied. “I meant to text you, but my phone died, and the train…”

You finally met Touru’s angry glare. You knew there was nothing you could say to calm him down. Nothing that would make it better, so you backed down. You couldn’t handle it when he looked at you like that -- Like there was a raging fire in his eyes, and you were the cause of it. It hurt you too much; brought you to the brink of tears, but you refused to cry in front of him. Instead, you crossed your hands in front of yourself and hung your head in shame. “I’m really sorry…”

Touru scowled at you. “Well big thanks for the heads up! I’m glad I got my own takeout seeing as how you had no intention of making dinner tonight!” He shouted, angrily bumping his shoulder into yours as he walked past you. You stood stiff as a board in the middle of the kitchen, listening to his angry footsteps clamber across the hardwood floor until finally the bedroom door was slammed shut.

You felt like a limp noodle as you finally found the strength to move your legs. Kicking your shoes off near the sliding glass door and dragging your feet to the living room. You didn’t have the strength nor the patience to face Touru a second time tonight. You laid the blanket out on the couch and hooked your phone up on the charger. You kicked your leggings off and unhooked your bra, tossing it to the corner of the room.

At least the sweater is dry now.

You snuggled underneath the blanket, watching with squinted eyes as your phone turns back on. Your throat felt dry, and your eyes stung as the tears began to cloud your vision. You laid your phone screen down on the couch and tried furiously to rub them away.

You lied to Touru, and now you’re suffering the consequences. You were in the wrong, and you have no right to cry.

The negative thoughts just flooded in, one after the other, scolding you, berating you, reminding you that you fucked up. How could you act like you’re the victim? You couldn’t stop them no matter how much you wanted to, and it only made you cry harder. Even with your knuckles shoved into your eyes, pleading with yourself to calm down, the tears continued to flow effortlessly, drenching your cheeks and creating a small wet spot on the fabric beneath your face.

You tried to cocoon yourself in the featherlight quilt to suppress the full body shakes that just kept rolling over you. Even shoving your body closer to the back of the couch, trying to bury yourself against the cushions, but nothing worked. You choked on your hiccup, and it was what finally forced you to get up and get a drink of water. Anything to calm you down because if Touru knew how upset you were, how hard you were crying now, things would be so much worse.

With nothing but the oven lights accompanying you in the kitchen, you filled your glass and gulped down a full glass of water, then another. It was enough to stabilize your breathing again, but you were still shaking a bit. You cleaned the glass and took a moment to splash some cold water on your face before heading back to the couch.

You took a deep breath as you laid back down, reassuring yourself that tonight was just a stroke of bad luck, and you shouldn’t let it bother you. That’s easier said than done though, especially when you’re going to bed on an empty stomach and a broken heart. You checked your phone before setting it aside for the night.

Jin: “Thank you for the goodies bag, and thank you for being such a good friend to me! I’m feeling much better now thanks to you! Did you get home alright? Jin: I’m going to assume you did, and you’re all tucked up into bed now 💕 Sleep well tonight, okay?”

A new wave of tears washed over you as you read Jin’s messages over and over. A strange feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. Something unwanted, but not quite like nausea. You typed out a response, but quickly deleted it. You did this several more times, before deciding you just wouldn’t respond. Nothing felt right to say. Part of you really, really wished you would’ve stayed at his apartment with him. What was one more lie gonna hurt? You could’ve said Yuna moved way out of town, and it was too late to take the trains. All of that just so you’d have the opportunity to talk to Jin just a little bit longer. Just to avoid this emotional downfall. Just to fall asleep feeling comforted by someone else’s warmth. Comforted in knowing they cared about you as much as you cared about them.

Quit being so selfish. You shouldn’t go running off into another man’s arms just because you had a disagreement with your fiance.

You ignored the intrusive thoughts, telling yourself you’re allowed to indulge in these selfish wants in the name of anger. As long as you didn’t act on anything, you’d be safe. You wiped your hand over your cheeks one last time before wrapping yourself up in the blanket and closing your eyes for the night. You fell asleep imagining you were being held in Jin’s embrace.

[lantur]

royai week 2020: day four, “crackle”

summary: The Colonel and the Lieutenant have an unusually candid conversation.

rated: t for teen

tags: pre-canon

words: 4384 | read on ao3

Identifying and interviewing candidates for the State Alchemist program requires travel all over the Eastern area of Amestris. A lot of soldiers - hell, even most of Roy’s unit - dislike travel. They’re reluctant to leave the comforts of home and put up with questionable accommodations and questionable food, not to mention the practical annoyances. The long rides in trains that are either too hot or too cold, and the inevitable delayed connections that turn a four-hour trip, one way, into a six-hour trip.

Roy loves to travel. He always has, ever since he had been a kid accompanying his aunt on trips outside of Central to meet with her network from outside of the capital city. The inconveniences are, well, inconvenient, but they don’t bother him much. They are considerably outweighed by the fascination of seeing the rest of the country firsthand; striking up conversations with locals (or overhearing conversations between locals) and listening to them talk about how they live, about what their thoughts and concerns are.

Employment is an issue in the northeastern sector of the East Area, and has been ever since the mines closed. Import of food and other necessities to the southwestern area is sketchy and unreliable. The farthest west areas of the Eastern region have a significant problem with drug-related crime, due to its proximity to Central. Roy notes all of this down in his travel journal during the train rides for later reference.

I like to keep my finger on the pulse of the people, he tells his unit. They agree that his phrasing is “a little creepy,” but also agree that this genuine interest in the populace is what makes him a good leader.

This month’s trip has taken Roy and his Lieutenant to Liore, near the border of the North Area. It’s quite a bit colder than it had been in East City, even though it’s hardly a week into October. Their appointment with this potential State Alchemist candidate - Robert Gotha - is at eight the following morning, leaving them with just about twelve hours of downtime when they check into their inn.

The rooms are side-by-side on the first floor. All Roy wants is a hot shower and dinner, in that order, but Riza insists on doing a sweep of his room first, as she always does, and making him wait outside for his own security.

“Nobody outside of Grumman’s office and our unit knew of our travel plans,” Roy points out, risking her displeasure by opening the front door a crack. Riza is inspecting the interior of the room’s small closet. “There are no explosives under the bed or under the sink. I’m willing to bet that there are no assassins hiding in the bathtub, either.”

She throws him a glance, and a frown. “You never know, sir. You remember Major Rosen. The bomb was strapped to the back of his nightstand. We shouldn’t take any chances.”

Roy does remember Philip Rosen, the Bone Alchemist, blown to bits a year and a half ago by a survivor of the Ishvalan massacre. He nods, somewhat abashed. “I appreciate your diligence, Hawkeye.”

“Of course, Colonel. Now, please close the door. You can wait in my room, if you want to set your things down somewhere.”

Riza’s room is even smaller than his. Maybe the reminder of the Bone Alchemist’s fate had set him on edge, but Roy walks the perimeter of her room, checking in the bathroom, pulling the closet door open. The last thing he needs is for someone who planned on attacking him to find Riza instead. Everything seems safe, but drafty, and he frowns, noting the lack of fireplace in the room.

Riza returns in a few minutes, and draws her coat closer around herself the moment she walks in. “Clear,” she says. “The locks are flimsy. I suggest bracing your chair against the door, just in case.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. Your room is secure too.” He sees the surprise on her face, and he’s rewarded with a small smile. “It’s cold, though. You don’t have a fireplace. Do you want to switch?”

Riza shakes her head. “That won’t be necessary. I sleep better when the temperature is a little lower.”

“At least have dinner and do your paperwork with me, then.” Roy walks to the door. “Your food will go cold in a couple of minutes if you eat it here.”

Riza hesitates, and then nods. “Thank you. I’ll go get dinner for us now.”

He doesn’t have to tell her what he would like. She already has his preferences memorized, as he does for her. Roy gives her the key to his room, and the first thing he does when stepping in is to light a fire in the fireplace. It warms the room instantly, and he sighs with relief.

The shower has dreadfully weak water pressure, but at least it’s hot. Roy towels his hair dry, pulls on a pair of dark pants and a white button-down shirt, and then steps out, releasing a wall of steam into the small room. Riza looks up from her paperwork. She had changed into civilian clothes too, a long skirt and a white button-down like his, and settled into one of the armchairs near the fireplace. The warm glow of the firelight does lovely things to the color of her eyes and hair, loose around her shoulders. The heat brings a faint blush to her cheeks. It isn’t the first time he’s seen her sitting in front of a fire, but the sight never gets old.

“I bought kebabs with chicken, eggplant, and bell pepper.” Riza gestures to the foil-wrapped package in the chair across from her. “I had mine already. It was even better than the ones we had last month in Meox.”

Roy flings himself down in the chair, unwrapping the kebabs. They smell wonderful, and he’s glad that they had opted against the cold sandwiches sold on the train. “But are they as good as yours?”

Riza continues writing, and a tiny smirk touches her lips. “No.”

Roy wolfs down his dinner, making no effort to be decorous. “Why do I have all this paperwork on this table next to me?” he says, with his mouth full. “Isn’t it enough that I spent all of this morning and afternoon in meetings that could have been memos?”

“It’s because you spent all of this morning and afternoon in meetings, instead of getting any work done. And because you refused to make up for any of those hours while on the train, in favor of testing out that new long-distance radio with Havoc.”

Roy bites back a laugh at the memory of his and Havoc’s increasingly ridiculous codenames. “Right.” He balls up the foil packaging and tosses it into the garbage can in the corner of the room. “What are you working on, Hawkeye?”

“Figuring out your schedule for next week.” Riza taps her pen against the paper. “You have two weeks’ worth of meeting requests in one week’s time. I’m trying to make sure that you still have enough downtime to get your paperwork done.”

“Paperwork and downtime don’t go in the same sentence.” Roy picks up Breda’s most recent intelligence report and rifles through it. “Just plan on me working late on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. That should do it.”

Riza makes a note. “So, I assume I’ll be working late on those nights as well.”

“You assume correctly.” Riza gives him a displeased look, and Roy twirls his pen through his fingers, unable to resist teasing her. “What? Are you upset about missing out on the coming week’s date nights?”

“Hardly,” Riza says, impassive. “I figured that would be more of a concern for you.”

“It isn’t. I’m giving it up.”

Riza raises an eyebrow, managing, as always, to convey a great deal with that small gesture.

“I am,” Roy insists. “It’s all getting to be a little much. And it’s pointless.”

Riza raises both eyebrows, this time. “Pointless? With all due respect, this doesn’t sound like you.”

Roy shrugs, and the expression in Riza’s eyes softens somewhat. “I’m sorry if you had a bad experience, sir.”

She’s speaking to him in the gentle, pitying way one would address the recently heartbroken. The same way she talks to Havoc, for heaven’s sake. Roy runs a hand through his hair, flustered. “It’s not like that, Lieutenant.”

Riza tilts her head to the side slightly, intrigued without pressing, and he has to elaborate. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant. But the women I’ve gone out with know of my rank and reputation. The Flame Alchemist, the Hero of Ishval,” -- Roy’s voice takes on a faintly mocking air -- “and the youngest Colonel in decades. I’m practically guaranteed to be a Brigadier General by the time I’m thirty-five, if I continue to play my cards right. Do you follow me?”

He sees a flicker of amusement in Riza’s eyes. “If I understand you correctly, you’re implying that your dates would prefer to be more than just dates.”

“Exactly. They don’t just want a couple of nights out. They want a real relationship, Hawkeye.” Roy sighs, rubbing his temples. “They want to be a General’s wife, someday, and live in a fancy house with large, manicured lawns, and a couple of nice cars, and a couple of nice kids that will go to Central’s best private school.”

Riza makes a sound that’s almost a laugh. “The dream.”

“I can’t provide that,” Roy says tersely. “I have no intentions of living that life. I have no intention of living a long one, after becoming Fuhrer and implementing the changes that we want. If there’s any justice at all, I’ll be held accountable for what I did in Ishval. I don’t want to leave a widow and a couple of kids behind. That’s not an option.”

Riza inclines her head. “That’s fair.”

He shrugs, momentarily lost for words. “It’s starting to feel...wrong, to take what I want from these women, when I know that there’s absolutely no chance of them getting what they want. They want the third date. They want the relationship. They want to be the girlfriend, and then the fiancee, and then the wife. And I’ll never make that happen.”

“So, nobody’s happy.”

“Basically. Which is why I’m finished with that.” Roy leans back in the armchair, stopping the pretense of working, setting his stack of paperwork on the side table. He regards her thoughtfully. “What about you?”

Riza tenses up slightly. “What about me, Colonel?”

“Oh, you know.” Roy waves a hand casually. “You may not be as highly ranked as I am, and you don’t have the reputation that I do outside of military circles, but you’re a beautiful young woman. That carries its own weight. I’m surprised you’re not beating men back with a stick. Or your pistols.”

He had intended it as a compliment, but Riza glances at her lap, momentarily downcast. “That’s it, sir. That’s all that men see when they look at me. Just another blonde that they’d like to buy a few drinks for, and then take home for the night.” She sounds resigned. “They don’t see me. It feels a little dehumanizing.”

This is all news to him, and Roy stiffens. It’s stupid, it’s hypocritical, to be so stricken by men doing the exact same thing to Riza that he’s done to other women.

“Even the nicer ones, the ones that ask me out to dinner first…” Riza trails off. “They don’t know about Ishval, and the things I did there. They don’t know the burden I carry.”

“Hmm.” Roy considers this. There’s still a knot in his chest at the idea of anyone being foolish and shallow enough to see his Lieutenant - thoughtful, empathetic, kind, intelligent Riza - as nothing more than a conquest. “You could tell them.”

Riza shakes her head, at once. “They wouldn’t understand. Or they would think I was a monster.” She pauses. “Similarly, I doubt they would understand my goals, and what I’ve dedicated my life to.”

Roy feels a wry smile tugging at his lips. “I figure that most men would struggle with the idea that their girlfriend spends every day, and some evenings and nights, in service of another man’s ambitions.”

“Exactly.” Riza looks at him steadily. “Besides, I’m in the same position as you. I intend to be held accountable for my actions in Ishval as well.”

They’ve talked - argued; even fought outright - about this before. About the fact that he has no intention of prosecuting her at the same level that he would seek for himself and the other State Alchemists. Riza’s entire kill count in Ishval had been a mere fraction of what his had been. She had vehemently disagreed with his position. “Hawkeye--”

Riza gives him a quelling look, and Roy falls silent. “I don’t want to leave behind a husband or children, either,” she says. “I don’t want to be in a relationship that will go nowhere. That can go nowhere. It seems dishonest - like I would be holding the other person back from the happiness and uncomplicated life they deserve. I would rather dedicate myself fully to work.”

Somehow, with everything else they have in common, he’s not surprised that they share this perspective as well. “We’re both in a similar predicament, then.”

Riza exhales slowly, and then looks into the fireplace, at the flames crackling there. She looks so far away all of a sudden.

“What is it?” Roy asks, and she glances at him, startled, as if she had forgotten he was there.

“Nothing, Colonel. It’s nothing.”

That piques his interest, and he leans forward. “Don’t lie to me, Lieutenant. It violates our unit’s code of conduct.”

Riza narrows her eyes at him, but finally, she gives in. “You pointed out that my commitment to you and our cause doesn’t leave much space for another man,” she says, but then she hesitates, and stops entirely.

“Well?” Roy prompts, his curiosity getting the better of him. Over the years, they’ve come to know one another so well - as well as they know themselves, he would guess - but this is the one thing they’ve never talked about before. About serious romantic entanglements, and their lack thereof.

“I’d rather not say.” Maybe it’s just the fire, but Riza’s complexion is a little warmer than it had been several minutes ago.

“Come on, Hawkeye.” Roy gives her his most charming smile; slides into his most persuasive tone. “My curiosity is killing me.”

Riza sniffs. “That sounds like a personal problem.”

“Unfair, Lieutenant. I told you what was on my mind.”

She sighs again, exasperated, a little resigned, keeping her eyes determinedly trained on the fire. “Fine. You know, you’re like a dog with a bone sometimes.”

“I am a dog of the military, after all,” Roy says sardonically, and his Lieutenant rolls her eyes.

“You’re such a significant figure in my life,” Riza says, at last. “And you have been, for so long. I worry that would open the door to...comparisons. That wouldn’t be fair to whoever else was trying to find a place in my life. ”

Well, he hadn’t expected that. The words are so unexpected, so sweet and so sad, that Roy blinks, lost for words. “Hawkeye,” he says, trying to inject some levity into his tone. “I’m flattered.”

Riza doesn’t have a dry retort for him. She just looks at him with somber eyes, and Roy relents. “I feel the same way.”

He doesn’t tell his Lieutenant that when he’s looking into his dates’ eyes, he expects to see amber-colored ones looking back at him. He doesn’t tell her that when he leans over to tuck a lock of hair behind their ears, he’s expecting to see her blonde locks against his fingertips. He doesn’t tell her that when they laugh at his jokes (usually too long and too loud for what the joke actually warranted) he expects to see her small, wry smile instead. Or an eye-roll, or that look she gives him sometimes, the one that mingles exasperation with affection.

He doesn’t tell her any of that. But from the expression on Riza’s face, he thinks that he doesn’t have to.

Roy clears his throat, breaking their gaze, looking into the fire. “Well, Lieutenant. I think our close professional relationship has put us in an unfortunate situation.”

“As always, you have a gift for understatement, Colonel.”

It had been a typical Hawkeye deadpan, but when Roy looks back, he sees a tiny, reluctant smile on her face. It gives him a shot of courage, or recklessness; he isn’t sure which yet.

“You know,” he muses, “I have a thought exercise for us to work through.”

Thought exercises - running through hypotheticals, from the mundane to the far-fetched - are one of his favorite things about leading his unit, and they are at least a once-weekly event when the unit is together in East City. Riza sets her pen down for the first time, giving him her full attention. “Yes?”

“It would solve a lot of problems if you and I could...”

Roy trails off, his meaning clear, and Riza sits up straighter.  

It’s bold, even for him. It doesn’t just cross the line; it sprints across the line. It isn’t the kind of thing he would have said if they were back in East City. But the sheer distance from the imposing figure of Eastern Command, from superior officers, from anyone else who knows them and might see or overhear something they shouldn’t - that has opened doors. That all feels so far away, here in Liore, sitting by the fire in his room.

Riza shifts in her chair -  not in discomfort, but consideration, drawing her legs underneath her, tucking them to the side. “It’s interesting that you think that. I think it would create a lot of problems.”

Her tone is mild, though, and there’s no hint of affront on her face at the outrageous suggestion. Riza seems utterly unfazed by being propositioned by her commanding officer. Which isn’t that surprising, now that Roy thinks about it. He has discussed treasonous plans to overthrow and overhaul the existing government with her for years. Compared to literal, actual treason, the prospect of a sexual relationship seems considerably less shocking.

Additionally, she hasn’t yet threatened to shoot him in the foot, which is promising. She hasn’t stopped this little thought exercise that he had started.

“I argue that it would solve more than it creates. We’re both unable to pursue relationships, due to the barriers we’ve discussed.” Roy straightens his collar, feeling rather like an attorney beginning opening arguments in a case. “On the other hand, you and I understand our situation perfectly. We know where our lives are headed and where they will end. We know that we aren’t looking for marriage and children.”

He doesn’t have to say the rest. We know one another and what we’ve done in the past better than anyone else could. There are so many conversations we don’t have to have with one another, that we would have to have with others.

The truth of what they are striving towards and why, and their vision for their personal futures and the future of Amestris. The years in Ishval and what they had seen and done there. The ugly truth behind the harmless, bloodless epithets of Flame Alchemist and Hawk’s Eye. The nightmares.

Riza inclines her head slightly, wordlessly allowing him to continue.

“Pursuing anything with anybody else would distract both of us from our goal, which isn’t an option.” Roy studies her, trying to judge her reaction.

His Lieutenant’s expression gives away nothing. “What makes you think we wouldn’t distract one another?”

“Because I know us, Hawkeye,” Roy replies patiently. “I know that there’s nothing we’re more committed to than reforming this country. You and I both know where this work ends. We always have. Nothing and no one is ever going to make us change our course.”

“That’s all true,” Riza says, her voice steady.

He hears the rest of her sentence, and sighs. “But?”

“There’s one issue you haven’t addressed. The anti-fraternization regulations.”

“Oh, that.” Roy dismisses her point with a shrug. “It’s not an issue.”

Riza glances skyward for a moment. “Please elaborate, Colonel.”

“The anti-fraternization regulations prohibit personal relationships between officers and enlisted members within the same chain of command, as they are prejudicial to good order and discipline,” Roy recites, with no effort. He and his Lieutenant are both very familiar with the regulations, after all. “Romantic relationships, cohabitation, and marriage fall within the umbrella of personal relationships. We wouldn't be living together. We wouldn't be getting married. And it wouldn’t be a romantic relationship, Hawkeye. It would just be--” He pauses, searching for the most tasteful word choice. “Some companionship, as we need it. To help us make our way down the long road we have ahead. And we would be discreet about it. Nobody would ever know.”

Riza props her chin in a hand, mulling it over, and Roy watches the firelight flickering in her eyes. “No pressure, of course,” he says, with an easiness he doesn’t feel. The adrenaline and boldness has worn off, leaving him with an uncharacteristic case of nerves. “It was just a thought exercise.”

Riza glances back at him and then stands up, gathering her paperwork. “I think I’ll turn in for the night, sir.” She sounds so calm and even, as if they had been discussing the logistics of how to implement democratic voting in the most rural areas of Amestris.

Roy stands automatically and opens the door for her. “Good night, then, Lieutenant.”

“Good night.”

Roy watches until she closes her door behind her; until he hears the lock click safely into place. He closes the door, locks it, braces a chair against it, as Riza had suggested. Then he collapses onto the bed and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes, all the breath leaving his body in a long sigh. Hughes has always called him a risk-taker and chastised him for being impulsive. That’s nothing new. Tonight, though, he had taken that to an entirely new high. Or an entirely new low, depending on how one looks at it.

-

They return to East City the following day. A week passes, and Riza gives no indication that their conversation in Liore had ever happened. She treats him the same way she always has, both when others are around and behind the closed doors of their office, after everyone else in their unit has left for the evening.

“I asked Elizabeth if she’d like to start something up with me,” Roy tells Hughes on the phone, on Saturday night. He’s supposed to be working, but it’s half past eight already, and he hasn’t been working with his full attention span for two reports now.

Hughes makes a strange sort of spluttering noise; it sounds as if he’s choked on his sandwich. “No way.”

“It’s true.” Roy winds the phone cord around his finger absentmindedly. “I don’t think she was interested in the idea, though. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. She's the only one I've ever really wanted."

“Roy--”

Riza walks back into the office then, carrying an armful of files from the archives, and Roy is forced to improvise. “I have no interest in your services, and don’t call this number again,” he orders, in his most forceful tone. He slams the phone down, before giving his Lieutenant an apologetic smile. “Telemarketers. I have no idea how they get their hands on the military lines.”

“Please give Lieutenant Colonel Hughes my regards before you hang up next time.” Riza sets the files on her desk, and then picks up her coat. Roy notices that she’s changed back into civilian clothes, a dark skirt and a silk blouse. “We could head back for the night, since we got quite a bit done today.”

“That’s the best idea you’ve had all day, Lieutenant.” Roy stands up hastily, before she can reconsider, and picks up his coat. “Come on. I’ll drive you home.”

They live within a couple of streets of each other, about twenty minutes from Eastern Command. They pass the time in quiet conversation, speculating about how Breda’s undercover mission in Mouhed is going, and the upcoming joint training exercise at Fort Briggs. As always, Roy feels an irritating pang of disappointment when they reach the back parking lot of his Lieutenant’s apartment building. He spends every day with Riza, and many evenings and nights, too, and yet he never tires of her company.

“Sleep well, Hawkeye.” Roy throws her his most appealing look. “Any chance you’ll bring in coffee on Monday morning?”

“I could be persuaded.” Riza crosses her legs, and Roy tries to ignore the slit up the side of her skirt. She studies him for a couple of moments, and he catches the faintest flicker of apprehension in her eyes. “Would you like to walk me upstairs, Colonel?”

She’s never asked him that before. It takes the words - the offer - a moment to register. Roy shifts the car into park as soon as it does, more roughly than he should. “I would,” he says, realizing that he can’t remember the last time he had to fight back an actual shiver of anticipation. “Very much. Oh, and Lieutenant?”

Riza’s hand stills on the door. “Yes?”

“You should call me by my name, when we’re upstairs.” Roy remembers, then, that Riza’s apartment building doesn’t have an elevator, and they’ll have to make it up four flights of stairs like civilized adults.  

“Of course, Colonel.” Riza holds his gaze, and Roy’s mouth goes very dry. “I think I’ll be able to do that. When we get upstairs.” She pauses and adds, almost as an afterthought. “You can call me whatever you want.”

Riza. It’s how he refers to her in his mind, but never out loud, not for years. It makes his throat burn, how much he wants to say it. To whisper it as he lets her hair down from its updo, and brushes his fingers against her collarbones. Roy exhales slowly. “We should go up. Now.”

Riza gives him a small smile. “Yes, sir.”

---------------------

notes

Writing from Roy's POV is always an interesting and amusing exercise. I had a bit of a laugh while I was writing this because it's basically like

Roy: What if... we fucked... ahaha, just kidding Lieutenant, it was just a thought exercise, just running hypotheticals...unless...?

I hope you enjoyed reading; I'd love to know what you thought! Royai Week has been super fun so far, both with reading others' amazing and creative responses to the prompts, admiring the gorgeous art, and sharing my own stuff. I'm hoping to have Day 5's prompt posted sometime tomorrow, but it might be a day late if I don't get it up in time.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, December 14

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince William’s secret cancer crisis

Page 2: Chris Martin is caught between girlfriend Dakota Johnson and ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow who are both hawking sex toys -- Gwyneth is accusing Dakota of copying her Goop brand and she’s letting Chris know it loud and clear -- Dakota signed on as co-creative director with the sexual wellness brand Maude to launch a line of hip sex products and Dakota’s gotten wind of Gwyn’s whining and thinks she’s being ridiculous -- Chris is proud of Dakota and he feels for Gwyneth but he really wants to be left out of this 

Page 3: Martha Stewart has whipped up a new recipe for romance which is red-hot dates with a string of men ordered up online and she may be 79 years old but she’s still cooking with gas in the dating department -- Martha’s getting more dates now than she ever has and she’s saying it makes her feel younger and hotter than ever but all the guys know the deal that there’s no pressure and no commitment and it’s just for the fun and the good company because Martha’s not looking for a relationship 

Page 4: Just weeks after Blake Shelton popped the question to longtime love Gwen Stefani they have something else to celebrate as Gwen is expecting a miracle baby at 51 -- after years of trying and failing to have a child together new photos show Gwen sporting what looks like a telltale baby bump -- after years of enduring grueling rounds of IVF treatment without any success Gwen had given up hope of being able to conceive again and she and Blake even looked into adopting but their baby dream has come true naturally 

* Reba McEntire’s romance with actor Rex Linn is less than a year old but she’s already driving him crazy -- it was wonderful for the first few months but Reba is so controlling Rex is begging her to give him some space -- Reba wants to be together 24/7 and while Rex loves being with her he’s starting to find her a bit suffocating -- Reba also sees red whenever Rex mentions his former fiancee Renee DeRese and she’s worried Rex is talking to his ex when he’s not around and he has a good relationship with his ex and believes that’s none of Reba’s business 

Page 5: Britney Spears lost her bid to have her father Jamie Spears removed from a controlling role in her conservatorship so she’s spending whatever money she can get her hands on to exact her revenge -- Britney is worth about $60 million and she gets a very healthy stipend from that so she’s going through it like water to thumb her nose at her dad and her recent no-holds-barred trip to Maui to celebrate her 39th birthday was more than a little payback because dropping $50,000 on a birthday trip to Hawaii was a satisfying slap in the face to her dad 

Page 6: Matthew McConaughey is taking his midlife crisis to an all-time high by planning to do a stand-up comedy tour -- after baring his soul in a memoir the 51-year-old star is totally gung-ho about the comedy thing and he’s cleared his schedule and hired a coach to work on his timing and punch up his jokes -- he’s written a lot of jokes and tried them out on his wife Camila and friends but they’re already tired of his cheesy one-liners and dad jokes and fart gags -- Camila wants to be supportive but she can’t fake it and friends wonder if Matthew’s lost the plot and others claim he might get more inspiration is he took up smoking weed again 

Page 7: Grieving Bobby Brown worries he’s cursed after the tragic death of his 28-year-old son Bobby Brown Jr. -- his son’s death follows the deaths of his ex-wife Whitney Houston in 2012 and the couple’s 22-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown in 2015 -- Bobby has suffered through so much pain in his life and it’s left him feeling like he’s cursed and he’s a loving father who always does the best he can and what’s right for his kids but there seems to be no escaping tragedy -- no foul play is expected in the death of Bobby Jr. but the coroner has yes to release the cause of death but Bobby Jr. seemed fit and healthy and had never been a drug user and was excited about a singing career after releasing his first single in September

* Donny Osmond is heading back to the Vegas strip to do a one-man show without his sister Marie Osmond and she’s fuming over the betrayal -- Marie is still smarting after getting dumped by The Talk and she thinks Donny could have been sensitive enough to at least invite her to join him -- Marie’s jealous co-stars on The Talk drove her off the daytime chat show because they couldn’t handle being overshadowed by her -- Donny will debut his new solo show at Harrah’s in August 

Page 8: Doting Dolly Parton swooped in to save goddaughter Miley Cyrus from a meltdown after Miley trashed her sobriety during a boozy bender -- Miley has been on the wagon for six months after years of indulging in weed and alcohol but the boredom of lockdown pushed her over the edge -- Dolly has been a source of inspiration and strength to Miley during this difficult time and she’s never lectured Miley about her lifestyle only shown her unconditional love and understanding and that’s what Miley’s responded to 

Page 9: Lady Gaga hopes to tango with Brad Pitt and they’re close to making a love connection -- the two have been in deep talks about working on a big-screen thriller and the conversations have turned up close and personal because the two have more in common than people realize -- Brad has always been a huge music nerd and Gaga wants to throw herself into movies in a big way after the success of A Star Is Born -- Gaga is ready to cash out of her latest relationship with businessman Michael Polansky because they quarantined together and things got a little too close for her tastes and she’s now set her sights on Brad who recently became unattached after giving the brush-off to German model Nicole Poturalski -- Gaga’s interest in Brad has not gone unreciprocated because Brad is fascinated by Gaga saying she’s cool and talented beyond words and he’s made it clear she’s his number one choice to star alongside him in next movie and as a result the new duo is set to spend months together in Japan filming the racy thriller Bullet Train and they both think that this will be a great opportunity to see if the chemistry they’ve shared in conversations is real 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Julia Garner filmed her role as a phony heiress in Inventing Anna in NYC, Gary Busey picked up a copy of the National Enquirer at a Malibu newsstand, Jay-Z tossed around a football with pals during a Hawaiian getaway, Heidi Klum shot Germany’s Next Top Model in Berlin 

Page 11: In the latest tragedy to strike the Getty dynasty 52-year-old John Gilbert Getty was found dead in a Texas hotel room -- he was a descendant of J. Paul Getty the oil tycoon who was once the world’s richest man -- the Getty fortune is worth an estimated $5 billion but the family has been rocked by a string of tragedies 

* Gutsy Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman kept his colon cancer diagnosis secret from his own brothers Derrick L. Boseman who is a pastor in Murfreesboro in Tennessee -- but when Derrick called Chadwick to congratulate him on his career the actor broke the tragic news -- Chadwick’s last words to him still echo in his heart: Chadwick said, “I’m in the fourth quarter and I need you to get me out of the game,” which Derrick understood to mean it was time for him to go -- Chadwick died on August 28 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- the scrawny look of the holiday tree at Rockefeller Center revealed something that happens every year -- the tree is always filled with faux branches because that’s the only way the tree can sustain 50,000 LED lights

* Marie Osmond hasn’t spoken to Sharon Osbourne since she left The Talk because Marie and Sharon were professional but never friends

* Scarlett Johansson is worth $165 million while her new husband Colin Jost tops out a $6 million but despite the difference Colin bought both wedding rings -- some men may be intimidated by a wife who’s rich and famous but not Colin and paying the bills is something the two have worked out together

* Woody Harrelson chats with police after a day filming The Man from Toronto in Ontario (picture) 

Page 13: Conan O’Brien is putting on a happy face on his retirement from late-night TV but he was forced out -- after nearly three decades hosting a daily show Conan announced he’s leaving his TBS talker for a weekly variety series on HBO Max but he knew he had to go even before he was asked because he was made aware months ago that his show would not be renewed because the ratings weren’t great and the network was looking to replace him so he started looking for other opportunities 

* Lizzo wailing about the pitfalls of fame in an emotional TikTok post has sent out the alarm among her friends who fear she is days away from a full-on meltdown -- she seems to be hanging by a thread and is trying to numb the pain with endless cycles of comfort eating and she already weighs 350 pounds -- Lizzo’s unhappy with her weight and hates the sight of herself when she looks in the mirror but she’s unable to stick to a diet and ends up binge eating through the night 

Page 14: Crime 

Page 15: Emboldened by his legal victories last year accused sexual abuser Kevin Spacey is denying all the allegations in a 2020 lawsuit in New York against him and demanding the case be brought to trial so he can clear his name -- Kevin is feeling pretty confident after two sexual harassment cases against him in Los Angeles and Massachusetts were dismissed last year and he wants his day in court to prove he is not the monster these charges paint him to be -- in the September suit two male accusers charged Spacey sexually assaulted them when they were 14 and the first accuser alleged Spacey assaulted him on multiple occasions after they met in an acting class in the ‘80s -- in the same suit actor Anthony Rapp charged Spacey invited him to a party at his home and grabbed his buttocks and lifted him onto a bed and lay on top of him

* Serial killer Ted Bundy relived the details of one of his horrific killings in his final conversation before he was fried in the electric chair in 1989 -- Bundy who was convicted of killing 30 women and suspected of doing the same to many more across four states in the 1970s and ‘80s spilled his guts to a psychologist just hours before his execution death and it can be heard in its frightening entirety on the Crimedoor app -- Bundy details the murder of Georgann Hawkins 

Page 16: Accused Jeffrey Epstein madam Ghislaine Maxwell is under quarantine in a federal pen after being exposed to a guard with COVID-19 and now sources fear she could die before facing justice on child sex trafficking charges next year 

Page 17: Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton’s kids are devastated after their best friend Lupo the family dog passed away -- the beloved dog had become a fixture in family photos but sadly died at age nine leaving Prince Louis and Princess Charlotte and especially Prince George enormously upset -- for George especially this is a tremendous upset as Lupo was his best friend and he has been there his entire life and this is his first experience with loss and he’s been crying nonstop and asking where Lupo is now 

Page 18: American Life 

Page 19: Russia is using a brain-frying microwave weapon to target American envoys in the U.S. and around the world -- a team of doctors and scientists at CIA headquarters determined the mysterious illness that’s plagued embassy workers in recent years was the handiwork of a weapon that can send a mind-scrambling sonic beam through windows and walls from two miles away -- since 2018 the weapon has zapped 26 diplomats in Cuba who reported suffering from migraines and ringing in the ears and dizziness and vertigo -- Some has longer-term effects such as fatigue and loss of vision and difficulty sleeping symptoms dubbed the Havana Syndrome 

* Elon Musk is already designing posh planetary digs for residents of his future city on Mars and he said the first million Earthlings to arrive will live in glass domes -- Musk’s outer-space enterprise is still a little sketchy on details of how to ship a million people to Mars by 2050 and change the atmosphere by terraforming or planting the right stuff to create oxygen 

Page 21: American Pie singer Don McLean’s daughter has blasted him as a verbally abusive tyrant who left her with deep psychological scars -- Jackie McLean claimed her father insulted and degraded her and forbade her from following in his musical footsteps and even threatened to exclude her from his $50 million fortune if she spoke out against him -- despite her dad’s warning Jackie has embarked on a musical career with her husband Shawn Strack forming the group Roan Yellowthorpe

Page 22: Hey, Big Spender! Hollywood’s tippers and tightwads -- Jessica Simpson, Mick Jagger, Rachael Ray, Taylor Swift 

Page 23: Russell Crowe, Donnie Wahlberg, Jeremy Piven, Johnny Depp, Bill Cosby 

Page 25: Justin Bieber is questioning his future in the scandal-scarred Hillsong church after his former pal and pastor Carl Lentz was booted out in disgrace -- the singer has long relied on Hillsong which some have branded a cult and Lentz to help him navigate fame -- Justin’s at a crossroads right now because he definitely felt betrayed by Carl and now he and his wife Hailey Bieber are deciding whether to stay with the church 

Page 26: Viola Davis has revealed how growing up poor in Rhode Island affected her self-worth saying what comes with poverty is invisibility and we just want to be somebody desperately -- Viola says her feeling of I’m Important helped drive her career which has led to an Oscar and two Tonys and an Emmy 

* Hollywood Hookups -- Vanessa Hudgens is dating Cole Tucker of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Jordan Fisher and Ellie Woods married, Luann De Lesseps dating Garth Wakeford 

Page 27: Nicole Kidman has revealed there is only one cure for her desperate struggles with loneliness which is in the arms of husband Keith Urban -- Nicole said she practices psychological discipline to keep her career and home life separate but isolation still plagues her 

* Dallas star Linda Gray is mourning the death of her son Jeff Thrasher at the age of 56 -- she’s heard from some former Dallas colleagues who have rallied around her and expressed their condolences -- no cause of death for Jeff has been revealed 

Page 28: Cover Story -- Prince William is trapped in a cancer nightmare after medical tests have led doctors to suspect the heir to Britain’s throne may be fighting a slow-moving form of the deadly disease and now the 38-year-old royal and his family are terrified he is in severe danger and medical experts are monitoring his health for any symptoms of the illness -- there’s talk around the palace the prince’s decision to reveal he tested positive for COVID-19 during the spring is really an attempt to explain away his condition because doctors found something funky when they checked for the virus -- if William’s health takes a turn for the worse it could further erode confidence in the monarchy which has already endured Prince Andrew’s sex scandal and the defection of Prince Harry -- when William’s doctors dropped their cancer bombshell his wife Duchess Kate Middleton locked herself away with just their kids for five days and she’s practically had a breakdown but she’s learned to be a royal and is now coping very bravely and confronting the future with steely resolve but she is urging William to mend fences with his estranged brother Harry

Page 32: Health Watch 

Page 36: Jessica Simpson is preparing her windpipes for a post-pandemic musical comeback -- she hasn’t released an album since Happy Christmas a decade ago but wants to storm the pop charts once again and recruit some of her wider family to give her a disco edge because Jessica has always looked up to Diana Ross who is sister Ashlee Simpson’s mother-in-law and Jessica has been bugging Ashlee to hook her up with Diana and she thinks they could do an incredible duet 

Page 38: Paul McCartney has taken a seething jab at a two-faced gold-digging mystery woman in his new song Lavatory Lil but insisted it’s not about his ex-wife Heather Mills 

* Lil Wayne’s ex-girlfriend fears he will go insane behind bars -- the rapper is a convicted felon banned from possessing a weapon and now faces up to 10 years in jail after federal agents in Miami caught him with heroin and cocaine and ecstasy and marijuana and a gold-plated gun -- former girlfriend Melissa Howe says he won’t cope and it took him years to get his life back to normal after his last trip inside so for it to happen again for him to be put behind bars it would really get to him mentally 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- American Music Awards -- Kristin Cavallari, Christian Serratos, Paris Hilton, Dua Lipa, Bebe Rexha, Megan Fox 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- LeAnn Rimes holding a dog on Hallmark Channel’s Home and Family 

Page 47: Odd List 

[thewritewolf]

Rekindle Chapter 31: Supernatural Creatures

Our heroes settle into their new routine, eyes firmly fixed on the future.

Thank you to everyone that has read Rekindle! It has been a long two months as this story careened wildly out of my control, but I am very proud of it. I hope you’ll join me on Monday as I finish off the Love Square months with a Ladynoir story, and stay with me to finish off Close to You. 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 2425 26 27 28 29 30

And, as always: Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

One year later...

“How is the latest article going?” Marinette directed her question across the cafe table to her long standing best friend.

It wasn’t very often that the four of them got to meet together, but it had gotten better once Alya and Nino had moved back to Paris. The patrols were nice but that was rarely more than two of them at a time. These weekly coffee double dates weren’t always easy to attend, especially with how busy their schedules were these days. But after so much time lost, they found a way to make it work.

“Pretty good, M. Just need some editing before I turn it in. Care to lend a hand?” She passed a USB towards Marinette with a smirk. Marinette slipped it in her purse, knowing that it was sure to have more than just the standard news articles on it if she was getting it this way.

At Marinette’s side, Adrien grinned. “I take it you’re high in demand these days?”

“Lots of places are looking to hire the freelancer that did the expose on the mayor.” Alya’s grin became predatory. “After all, anyone that can uproot the rich and powerful of Paris is someone you want on your side.”

“I hear Alya isn’t the only one that’s doing good, dude.” Nino said between sips of his coffee. “A little dude told me you two have something to tell us.”

Adrien and Marinette exchanged a look. They knew letting all their kwamis mingle would end up biting them in the butt. The only question was, which of their kwamis did the tattling? Was it Tikki, the gossip, or Plagg, the mischief-maker?

“Well, if the cat’s already out of the bag…” Adrien shrugged and nodded at her.

Reaching into her purse, Marinette slipped on her engagement ring and held it out for their friends to see. They leaned forward and marveled at the relatively plain but beautiful ring. Not that Adrien hadn’t wanted to give her something much more ornate, of course, but he knew her well enough to know what she truly wanted.

Crossing her arms, Alya snorted. “It’s about time you two dorks got married. I’ve only been shipping this since we were fourteen, girl!”

“Nice, dudes!” Nino grinned and leaned forward onto the table. “So when’s the wedding and, more importantly, the honeymoon?” He waggled his arms suggestively at Adrien, prompting his wife to smack his arm.

“Leave my innocent babies alone.” She looked at them out of the corner of her eye. “But seriously, when is the wedding?”

“We’re not sure yet, honestly.” Adrien shrugged. “It’s been a lot of work just getting sales rolling and wiggling our way into the big shows. Although we’ve had it easier than most, though, since my beautiful fiancee has been preparing for this since before we’d even met.” He planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“Don’t sell yourself short, hot stuff,” Marinette said as she looked up at him. “You’ve been a godsend, and not just because you know the ins and outs of these things. You’ve kept me going even after I felt burnt out.” She leaned forward for a kiss, but Alya cleared her throat. “Oh fine. Anyway, we can’t really plan a wedding yet, not when we’re in the process of building a property for the Dupain-Cheng fashion house and hiring staff. And obviously we can’t just leave the moment we finish all that…”

“Yeah, yeah, busy busy, I get it, M.” Alya waved her hand impatiently. “You just better not elope on us or else me and Sabine are going to have to hunt you down. I didn’t endure all your mutual pining for over ten years just to get robbed at the last minute.”

Marinette giggled. “You don’t have to worry about that. Adrien has his heart set on a nice wedding, especially since I won’t let him splurge on a fancy ring.”

“Well, how else can I tell all of Paris that I love her?”

They all laughed, but as they took a few moments of companionable silence, Alya frowned. “Wait, the Dupain-Cheng fashion house? How is that going to work if you’re getting married?” She turned to Marinette. “Are you going to be keeping your last name?”

Before she could reply, Adrien nodded. “Yep! And I’ll be taking hers. Too much baggage with the Agreste name, you know?” He took a sip of his coffee. “All the more reason to get married sooner than later.” Silence reigned again, this one more introspective as everyone briefly remembered Hawkmoth’s long reign of terror and how it still touched their lives today.

Nino’s eyes widened and he scrambled to pick up his things. “Shoot, that reminds me. I’ve got training with old man Fu today.”

“Has he finally taught you any secret Guardian techniques yet? Anything you might be willing to pass off to a friend?” Adrien blinked innocently at him, laying on the charm thick.

“This isn’t one of your cheesy animes, dude. It’s mostly just recipes and taking care of old books.” Marinette heard him whisper in Adrien’s ear as he passed, “But if I find anything like that, you’re first on my list.”

“Thanks, man.” Adrien fist bumped his old friend and Nino left them alone.

Alya sighed. “I guess I’d better get back to research then. Paris certainly hasn’t gotten any less weird since I’ve gotten back.” They all stood and made their way out of the cafe.

Adrien dropped his voice to a whisper as they walked down the street. “Have you found any pattern to it, yet?”

“Centerfold, everything I’ve found I just passed to Marinette.” She shrugged. “With all that magic out there, stuff that’s been gone for centuries is coming back. It hasn’t been anything big yet, but… well, maybe all those legends weren’t just legends, you know? Just keep your eyes peeled and I’ll do my best to keep everyone updated.”

They said their goodbyes as Alya got on the bus, leaving just Adrien and Marinette alone. They walked in silence for a while. The crowds thinned around them as they found their way to less populated areas, eventually finding an abandoned alley. There, Adrien bowed deeply to her as he transformed into Chat Noir. He rose with a cocky grin on his face and stepped close to her as he pressed her against the wall. With one finger, he lifted her chin so she was looking up at him.

“What’s a sweet girl like you doing in a place like this?” She snorted and rolled her eyes at his ridiculousness, but there was a smirk on her face nonetheless. “What do you say I take you home with me, princess?” He kissed at her neck and it took all her will to continue pretending it was having no effect on her.

“Hm… I don’t know… Will there be delicious home cooked food there?”

He chuckled against her. “Give it an hour and there will be. The tastiest Italian pastas you’ve ever had.”

“Sold!” She surprised him by jumping onto him, causing him to scramble to catch her. “Take me away, you alley cat!”

He laughed. “As my lady commands!”

Chat Noir carried her in his arms and she basked in the cool evening air. Even after all this time, it was something that she had never grown tired of.

----------------------------

Once they were inside, Adrien dropped his transformation and gently set Marinette on the couch with a kiss. He cupped her face with a smile as he pulled back.

“Stay there while I make dinner.”

“Fine, but only because I’m curious about what Alya has found out.” Marinette pulled her laptop out from underneath the living room table, along with the USB from her purse.

Familiar complaints prompted him to shove some of the cheese that he was working with towards his hungry kwami. It was rare that a week went by without finding another shard, but they were handling it well. Four active heroes helped, especially since the need for secrecy among them was over. With Alya’s investigative skills and Marinette’s rapidly improving aura sensing skills, it was almost child’s play to track down the shards before things got out of hand. Add in Nino helping Master Fu with research between recording albums, and they were working like a well oiled machine.

Thoughts of strategy and duty fell by the wayside as he turned his attention back to the moment. The kitchen was larger than what Adrien had gotten used to working with. Sure, the one in his old house and the manor had probably been even bigger, but it was only at Marinette’s old apartment that he had truly hit his stride, cooking every day for his lovely lady. Sometimes it was a chore, but there was nothing more rewarding than seeing how Marinette’s eyes light up as he set a full plate down in front of her. He’d make dinner every day for the rest of their lives if it meant he got to see that look on her face.

Their living space was bigger than what they’d moved out of, but with how well the business was doing it was something they could reasonably afford. And that was with money going towards the fashion house - which Marinette still refused to let him use his savings on. He’d just have to make due with being the best model and spokesman for her fledgling brand that he possibly could be. Seeing her dreams come true was the least he could do for her, after everything she had done for him.

The house was nice, spacious enough for their purposes. But who knows? If things kept going the way they were going, maybe they’d need to upgrade again before too long.

Adrien stood in the kitchen and watched the back of her head as she poured over Alya’s hard earned research. A smile came to his face as he remembered all that they had gone through to get here - all the time spent apart, all the pain and sorrow, the twists and turns. It had all been worth it in the end, just to get to this moment. He felt like a fire had been rekindled inside both of them, driving them forward towards a bright future.

Here and now, they were happy.

[rosalynbair]

Kiss me Slowly | AO3 | Masterlist | Buy me a coffee

Words: 3001

Warnings: just really bad writing lmao, I wrote this a really long time ago and I’m in no mood to edit it, this is a song fic - aka I used to love this song and i’m trash. Very slight angst, fluff.

You flatten down your skirt, the rough lace feeling foreign in against your soft fingertips, newly painted nails catching on loose strands of the fabric.

It had been so long since you had worn anything other than leggings or jeans, so long since you had fully tried to look pretty and presentable for public. Rather than keeping the makeup put away in the cabinet under the bathroom sink, the makeup sitting untouched and expiring for months along with the hair curler and straightener that were held in their holders on the inside of the cupboard door. All the while the dresses and skirts had been abandoned in your closet despite once being used almost every weekend. The high heels still scattered in the front hallway beside the front closet door from after your last date night.

You stare at the mirror, barely recognizing the girl you were trying to hide - the one who, even after almost a year, still cried herself to sleep because of a stupid breakup, the girl who avoided all possible outings because she was scared she would run into him again - The heels felt uncomfortable on your feet, as you weren’t used to the elevation anymore, running shoes and ballet flats had been your choice in the past months. Your balance would hopefully improve, and maybe your wobbly ankles wouldn’t need support every few moments.

Your hair was curled, a few strands pulled away from your face and pinned back with bobby pins with small white pearls on them, matching the stack of delicate silver and white bracelets on your wrists. Your makeup was done as well as you could with your memory of how to do it with your now unpracticed and shaky hands.

You picked up your phone after pulling on a thin denim jacket, grabbing your keys and leaving the small apartment that you had started renting after moving out of Clyde’s trailer. Despite being so small, you felt alone in it, feeling like the space was too big for you alone.

You left the building, going to your car and driving to Jack Dill’s house. The small town flying by you in a blur of browns and tans. You had avoided being too far deep into town, avoiding anywhere where you could run into Clyde.  And here you were, willingly driving to the house just outside of town, a few minutes away from Duck Tape.

Your friends had had enough with you hiding from your life, and decided now was the time to bring you back in. To them, you had had enough time to breathe and regain composure of your life. To be able to see your ex-fiancee without immediately needing to run in the opposite direction.

But how wrong they truly were.

You pulled up to the house, mind wandering to who would be here, he most likely would be, and you would try to avoid him as much as possible. You would try to mingle, smile and keep some form of small talk with regular patrons to the bar, Jimmy and Mellie Logan’s friends. Your goal was to try and seem like you were perfectly fine when really, as you saw the familiar car parked in the driveway, your heart was breaking all over again.

You stepped out of your car, taking a deep breath, blinking away the tears that had pooled in your eyes. You flattened down your skirt once more, tugging the hem to pull it down to a proper and decent length. You pull your jacket around you tightly, feeling naked if you revealed the dark blue partially-cropped top you had decided to wear. Your phone was held tightly in your hand as you started walking up the steps of the front porch, admiring Luke’s dream catchers and wind chimes hung on the porch silently as you passed them.

Standing in front of the door, you knocked quietly. Within moments, Jack had opened the door and had you in a tight hug, his arms wound around you tightly. Instead of returning it -his arms were too tight around you to move your own arms- you rested your head on his shoulder in an attempt to show some form of affection.

“You look good kid” he said, smiling at you. You gave him a weak smile back, letting it fade quickly. “I know you don’t want to be here, but you need to do something other than work.”

“I love my work” you mutter defensively, mind flashing to the camera on your kitchen table “It doesn’t leave, and it’s something that I can fall back onto”

Jack sighs and pulls you into the house, shutting the door behind you by kicking it. You walked into the kitchen, people looked at you, trying to look not-sympathetic. These people were once your friends, people you would drink and party with, people you used to tell secrets to, people who used to come over to your house to do the unspeakable things to a sober person. Now, these people were almost strangers.

You took a deep breath.

Pretty smile, strong posture, think murder.

You smiled at them, hiding the pain and the insecurities that were hiding under the surface of your facade. Their expressions changed to ones of shock, before quickly re-composing and returning the smile.

“Y/n!” Someone yelled, you looked over and saw Jimmy standing beside him grinning wildly, his short hair in disarray, eyes lit up with the fire they always had in them.

You walked over, trying to keep the fake smile on your face without letting it falter. Without a glance to the heart-breaking adorable country boy beside him, you engulfed Jimmy into a hug, a laugh booming from his chest before kissing your forehead.

“Where the hell have you been y/n!” he asked, keeping a strong arm around you, his West Virginia twang squeezing through his words “Better yet, what have you been doing! Nobody’s seen you in months! You still live in town, don’t you?”

"Work keeps me busy” you said simply, shrugging. You weren’t going to admit to what you had been doing for the past eleven months, you weren’t going to admit that you were actively avoiding the entire Logan clan.

“It’s really good to see you” he smiles, he leans in for another hug, his lips right beside your ear “He misses you, and I know you miss him.”

He had whispered it to you, making sure only you heard it. You pulled away, making it seem like he hadn’t just told you that.

You glanced at Clyde, His long hair untrimmed since the last time you saw him, his gaze not towards you but instead on the beer he had in his good hand. He didn’t miss you. He was the one who walked away. He was the one who made you hurt. He couldn’t possibly miss you.

“Hello Clyde” you say, deciding that you were going to be civil. You could make it through tonight.

He, looks up from his beer, keeping his eyes trained on you, although they were clouded. Almost as if he had the same war waging in him as you did.

“Hi y/n.” he said quietly, voice cracking slightly “You uh, you look good”

His accented voice cracks were breaking your heart again, tearing into the partially healed cracks.

You have a brief flashback to his voice cracking when he yelled at you and slammed the door in your face.

You nod, taking in his features. His hair was messy, clearly not seeing a brush in a while, his jeans actually had a tear at the knee, his old Bob Seger shirt had a hole separating the collar from the actual shirt a little bit – but he was attempting to cover it with his flannel. He looked like he was trying to hide bags under his eyes.

He looked terrible.

“You too” you lie, averting your eyes from him. His own eyes, you knew, never left you. You felt his gaze on you, analyzing everything about you.

“Y/n?” Someone asked from behind you. You turned around and grinned, a genuine grin. You were once again pulled into a hug, the arms around you belonging to Greg – an old friend you had grown up with.

“Greg!” you exclaimed, jumping slightly in surprise, but hugging him back tightly nonetheless.

“I didn’t expect you to be here! Nobody thought you’d come.” He said, kissing your cheek with his beer-wet lips. You shrug and flatten down his hair, kissing his rosy cheek in return. “You look amazing! Pretty legs, as always”

“Pretty legs that haven’t seen sun in forever” you laugh, looking down at the tan that was almost gone now.

“Eh, you coming up to the cottage soon? My family misses you.” he says, nudging your side. Greg was your best friend, had been ever since you had literally bumped into him when you were fifteen – they had been like your own family ever since.

“Maybe, I’d have to check my schedule” you tell him, smiling. You missed his little sister, and you missed his mom’s cooking more than anything at that moment.

“Well, I’m going to get a drink, I’ll talk to you later y/n.” he tells you with a grin, kissing your cheek again and almost skipping away to the kitchen.

You turned back to Jimmy and Clyde, who now had a pretty sour look on his face. Jimmy was nodding his head along to the hippie-indie music Jack had playing through the stereo from his Ipod, pretending that his brother didn’t look like he was about to commit a felony.

You end up falling back into conversation with Jimmy while, some people coming over to say hello and hug you. Clyde had left to hang out with other people, checking in with his regulars. But you knew he just didn’t want to be around you.

At one point, Jimmy drags you out into the middle of the living room, twirling you in his arms during some techno music Jack had playing. Others joining you when upbeat songs played. But soon enough, the songs changed, you looked at Jack, who was standing, Ipod in hand, winking at you. Your eyes were wide, and people were slowing down their dances, pulling someone special-or friendly- to them. You almost choked on Jimmy’s drink that you had stolen from him.

Stay with me, baby stay with me, tonight don’t leave me alone

Your eyes almost instantly found the country boy walking towards you. He held out his hand and you took it gently, hesitating for only a moment before your cold hand was in his warm, slightly clammy one.

He pulled you to him, you looked up at his face. Even in the heels, you were incredibly short in front of him.

“Talk with me?” he asks, his voice wavering. He looks down at you with frightened eyes. You could hear his heart hammering in his chest.

You couldn’t get the words out as you opened your mouth slightly, the words you wanted to say coming out in a scared and shaky breath.

“Please.” he whispers, the word blurred by his accent.

Without speaking, you nod. Letting him pull you out of the room.

Walk with me, come and walk with me,

He led you up the stairs, pulling you into a room that was at the end of the hallway. You let go of his hand, standing near the door, wrapping your jacket tightly around you again as you stared at the floor.

Clyde had walked over to the window, starring out onto the town. You looked up, glancing at the unmade bed and suitcase that had clothing spilling out of it. You saw some articles you remembered wearing when you were making breakfast oh so long ago.

I can see you there with the city lights, Fourteenth floor, pale blue eyes. I can breathe you in.

You stared at Clyde’s back, wanting to reach out to him. But you held your shaking hands to your body, arms wrapped around yourself.

“You’re not staying at the trailer?” You ask quietly, trying to fill the silence.

“The roof caved in.” You hear him mutter. “It’s being fixed.”

You saw him run his fingers through his hair, getting caught in the tangles slightly before pushing through them, he turns and looks at you, tears starting to fall from his eyes.

He started walking over to you, shoving his hand into his pocket. He stopped right in front of you, and you could feel the heat radiating off his body.

Two shadows standing by the bedroom door, No, I could not want you more than I did right then, As our heads leaned in.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered, voice cracking once again.

You reach your hand up slowly, breathing slightly ragged as you pressed your fingers against his cheek gently, wiping the tears away with your thumb, hand holding his cheek.

Clyde took another step, pressing his body directly against yours, bending down to your height.

Your eyes were wide as your breath sped up along with your heartbeat. You heard his breathing catch before there was pressure on your lips.

Well, I’m not sure what this is gonna be, But with my eyes closed all I see Hold my breath as you’re moving in, Taste your lips and feel your skin.

You closed your eyes, moving one of your hands to grip his shirt, pulling him closer while the other wrapped itself around the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

He made a small whimpering sound and pressed your back against the door, quickly locking it as his hand placed itself under your jacket on your bare skin that your crop top didn’t cover.

You pulled away slightly, resting your head on the door, looking at Clyde.

You whispered his name, testing it on your tongue again.

“Please don’t leave.” he begs, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

Stay with me, baby stay with me, Tonight don’t leave me alone. She shows me everything she used to know, Picture frames and country roads, When the days were long and the world was small.

You pushed his head up so you could look at him, you saw his tired gaze, and leaned in again, pressing your lips back against his. Wanting the feeling so badly, wanting to feel how you felt eleven months ago before any of this had happened.

“Stay with me” you whispered against his lips.

She stood by as it fell apart, Separate rooms and broken hearts, But I won’t be the one to let you go.

He pushed you backwards, towards the messy bed. You kiss him as he pushes you to sit down. Pushing the jacket off of your shoulders, tossing it over to his suitcase.

Clyde sits beside you, attaching his lips back on to yours.

“I’m so sorry for what I did to you” He whispered “God I should have never pulled away from you. I should have never let you drift away from me”

You shake your head, running your fingers through his hair. Nails scratching his scalp slightly. You feel the shiver that racks his body, and you push him back against the bed, laying beside him and kissing his neck. Setting your leg around his hip, skirt bunching up higher and higher as you adjusted your leg.

Clyde’s hand was placed on your outer thigh, rubbing small circles with the pad of his thumb.

Oh, I’m not sure what this is gonna be, But with my eyes closed all I see Is the skyline, through the window, The moon above you and the streets below.

You kiss his neck repeatedly, remembering the times you had done this before. Remembering his ragged breath, whimpering and his squirming.

He turns his head and kisses your temple, rubbing his hand up and down your thigh slowly.

Hold my breath as you’re moving in, Taste your lips and feel your skin. When the time comes, baby don’t run, just kiss me slowly.

You press your lips against his once more, tangling a hand into his hair, adjusting yourself so that you were closer to him.

“I’m so sorry.” he whispers again, and you tasted the salty tears on your lips.

“Stop saying that” you mutter against his lips “It wasn’t just your fault.”

“I’m the one who started the fight” he whispers to you, lips ghosting over yours.

“The fight was a long time in the making” You reply.

Don’t run away… And it’s hard to love again, When the only way it’s been, When the only love you knew, Just walked away… If it’s something that you want, Darling you don’t have to run, You don’t have to go … Just stay with me, baby stay with me

“please, just don’t leave me again” Clyde whispers, you shake your head.

“I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to” you tell him against his lips.

“I love you, y/n” he tells you, accent thick with emotions “The past year has been the worst of my life.”

You nodded, understanding completely.

“I love you too Clyde” you replied, nuzzling your face into his neck for a moment. “Though based on the year you lost your arm, or when you went to jail… A year without me seems like nothing.”

Hold my breath as you’re moving in, Taste your lips and feel your skin. When the time comes, baby don’t run, just kiss me slowly.

Clyde’s lips are against your temple, trailing them across your brow, nose, cheekbones, cheeks, jawline, neck, the corner of your mouth. All while his hand caresses your thigh gently, pulling your leg up slightly to adjust it on his hip.

His lips press against yours once more, and you smile, knowing that you were going to be okay.

When the time comes, baby don’t run, just kiss me slowly.