#and he’s been so patient with me
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My boyfriend while we were out shopping and I pointed out a jewelry store because of a necklace that’s cute: I need to figure out your ring size.
Me: 👀 why??? (We’ve only been dating 4 months and I’ve only known him and have been crushing on him the last 2 years)
Him: well when we get to THAT point I don’t want to have to figure out ways to get your ring size without you knowing. I’d rather figure it out now.
#yall….#this man#and like the last 24 hours I’ve been super emotional and like hormonal#and he’s been so patient with me#and he keeps telling me he’s not going anywhere
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Fiddauthor divorce arc speedrun <3
After 30 years of searching for his lost brother through demonic rituals and summonings, Ford has become a bit of a notorious demon collector over the years. He's made a LOT of deals with MANY different demons over the years; from minor and harmless little entities to big and powerful overlords. Most of the time, these deals aren't really a one-way situation, so a lot of demons have a strong grip on him just as much as he does on them. It often ends up being a mutual sort of destruction, as in: "I know I'm but a mere mortal trifling with things I couldn't begin to fathom, and I know you will destroy me eventually; but I don't care as long as I get to destroy you too." He just needs to live long enough to find his brother.
The red hands are essentially pieces of himself (his soul, you could say??) that he wields as his method of restraint to the demons he has "tamed" so far. They act as a leash to contain each demons' powers, and he can loosen or tighten his hold on them as much as he wants. The number of hands required to contain a demon really depends on their individual strengths, but 3-4 hands are already very energy consuming.
YES, I gave all of his demons stupid names. SUE ME.
#been listening to a lot of lady gaga these days so this happened#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls au#Ford and Fiddleford beat each other's ass over 30 year feud- 40k caught on camera#Fiddleford goes to jail for being a cult leader- disruption of peace and kidnapping after the fight <3 he's in his flop era#they both suck- Im sorry- I can't make morally pure characters they need to be GREY and SUCK JUST A LITTLE BIT#it's part of the fun!!#i have so much to say about this AU but I cant verbalise all of it so y'all have to be patient with me alr#ford pines#grunkle ford#stanford pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#tw scopophobia
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(Silence. CARPENTER tries to rally HAYWARD's spirits. She's afraid she's going to lose him.)
"All three of us - we can all go on living, Hayward. Just like you said."
#the silt verses#tsv#sister carpenter#carpenter#james hayward#audio drama#horror podcast#artists on tumblr#listen all my tsv drawings so far have been vibes based so pls ignore the inconsistencies on here alfkdsj#namely: i know carpenter uses a rifle (opted against it visually)#and then i spent like half an hour looking at iv diagrams and idk how medical care is on a plane but. listen. I'm ignoring all that#let alone with a patient you were forced to heal after being held hostage LOL#(not putting hayward in a hospital gown for the finale. i'm not. so he gets his bloodied clothes)#anyway i (notoriously slow artist) rushed to get this out before the finale#they mean so much to me!!#(faulkner voice) jeez hayward how come you get to have a good relationship with paige AND carpenter in the final season#also if you follow my main the small detail of carpenter not letting go of hayward's hands in the beginning-#was my load bearing emotional support bit of the episode you know I had to include it#the way i spent forever trying to get carpenter's expression right only to last minute decide NOT to cover it up alfsdjk#id in alt text#pls lmk if there's anything in the description i should change!#i try to keep it short but I know I ramble#tw blood#tw eye strain
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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal
#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7#he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them#than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was#so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times#but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute#that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems#from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now#and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened#childhood trauma#trauma#cptsd healing#cptsd recovery#cptsdawareness#trauma survivor#trauma recovery
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Sign that Dream gifts to Nightmare post-truce specifically to annoy him
#UTDR#UTMV#Truce au#The truce au is about a lot of things to me and one of them is Dream getting to be a little shit#He's been good and patient for so long he's earned it#Nightmare is going to hit him with this sign first and foremost#And then he'll keep it in his office behind some books#I will just always always love Dream finally getting to tease his brother over actually caring about people#And Nightmare having to huff and puff and#''I DO NOT CARE I AM MADE OF EVIL I HAVE NEVER FELT- what? Yes of course you can have a snack. Tell Dust I got those chips he likes they're#in the top dra- STOP LAUGHING. I WILL END THIS TRUCE RIGHT NOW''
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Tim I noticed a lot of indigenous patches on your jacket, are you Native?
Idk what my dad was 'cause I never knew him, but yeah my mom is (or... Was.. I guess..) Muscogee, the tribe native to the part of Alabama I'm in.
If I remember correctly she came to Alabama from Oklahoma (where a lot of Natives were displaced to in the 1800s) to "get back to her roots."
But yknow, I was separated from her in childhood (which tbh is upsettingly common for Native families) and I was raised in a very white very Catholic asylum so I'm not as connected to the culture as I'd like to be.
-Tim
#OOC: Olea speaking#this is kind of a self-indulgent headcanon but HEAR ME OUT it adds a lot to Tim's character specifically#we're talking about a character who was separated from his mom in childhood and locked up in a psych ward#suffers from chronic physical and mental illness made significantly worse by the institution that was supposed to be helping him#forced to regulate his emotions more than other people have to so he isnt misinterpreted as a threat#struggles with addiction#had to work twice as hard as anyone else in his friend group just to be given the same opportunities#a much more common experience inside BIPOC communities#and he clearly has ties to the land (especially the park) nobody else has#you know how in season 2 Alex starts yapping to Jay about how the park is cursed?#maybe he was right#maybe that *thing* has been here for hundreds of years#and nobody was ever able to settle the land so eventually the Department of Conservation turned it into a state park#and Tim isnt some random “patient zero”#but he has ancestral ties to the land and was more receptive/at risk to Operator Sickness (but was also more resistant to it long term)#JUST SAYIN 👀#im half Katu and I desire my comfort character to be a halfie with me we need more non-white rep in mh#ask.txt#marble hornets#mh#tim wright#afterlife au#slenderverse#Native!Tim
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the scene at the end of who's there?: eiffel is cut off mid-sentence (addressing minkowski), minkowski calls his name twice, and hera says, "commander... he's not showing up on any of my scans. he's gone." vs. brave new world: eiffel is cut off mid-sentence (addressing hera), minkowski calls his name twice, and hera says, "he's... commander, he's gone." in idle hands, eiffel regaining his autonomy ("hera, it's me. i'm me again.") is described: "there's a SOFT WOOSH, and eiffel's eyes go from spaced out to sharp focus." in brave new world, eiffel losing his memory is described: "there's a SOFT WOOSH, and his eyes go glassy." in mayday, hera's voice is the last one eiffel hears, the last voice in his head trying to keep him from giving up when he's sure he's about to die. in brave new world, eiffel loses his memory mid-thought while addressing hera, and so she was his last memory, the last thing on his mind. whatever. whatever.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#hera wolf 359#eiffera#? well sort of#the cycle of hera losing him and getting him back and in some ways being the one to bring him back and then#being the one who wipes his memory. she has so much personal baggage about that. it's going to weigh on her.#and i won't get into my thoughts about eiffel regaining his memory because i've done that many other times#but i think like. if he didn't. if he doesn't. i don't know if hera will ever really believe it isn't possible.#because of all the ways she's lost him before and the ways he's come back. despite everything. well anyway.#i have more substantial things i could write but i've been having a wretched terrible month. be patient with me.
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Reread/skimmed my oldest Pharma apologism posts (mainly the ones about Pharma not being a functionist) and it just occurred to me that possibly another reason the fandom saddled Pharma with the "functionist bigot" label is because his introduction by First Aid says that everyone hates Decepticons, but Pharma really really hates Decepticons. Mix that with the portion of the fanbase that lionizes and whitewashes the Decepticons, and I can easily see it entering common fanon that "Pharma hates Decepticons -> the Decepticons are freedom fighters wrongly maligned by the Autobots/the franchise -> Pharma must be a bigoted functionist since he hates Decepticons who represent freedom."
The simpler explanation is just that Pharma is an antagonist and therefore gets the "everything about him must be evil and wrong" black-and-white analysis so common in fandoms in general, but given some of the bizarre Decepticon takes I've seen I can also easily see Pharma's Decepticon hatred being taken as a sign of him being bigoted and evil.
Though AGAIN in this case it would still be singling Pharma out as a bigot for crimes/flaws that multiple other Autobots are guilty of like.
Oh, Pharma hates Decepticons? Well a lot of other Autobots hate Decepticons too, First Aid's narration about Pharma even says "we all hate Decepticons"; for that matter, there are a lot of Decepticons who hate Autobots. It's a massive civil war that's lasted for a lifetime causing two groups of people to be stuck in a near-permanent blood feud, you can't assume that every Autobot who hates Decepticons (and vice versa) hates them because they're a bigot. Maybe there's been a war where both sides have been building an ever-increasing mountain of reasons to hate each other, so hating the opposite faction is a social problem caused by war and politics rather than a sign of individual moral failing.
Pharma worked at the New Institute so that means he must be evil/bigoted? Chromedome and Brainstorm also worked at the New Institute, but there's no widespread fandom shunning of them or headcanoning them as bigots.
Hell, even the very premise of assuming Pharma is a functionist bigot for hating Decepticons is ignoring the very premise of Pharma's motives, which are, uh... being blackmailed by the leader of the Decepticon Justice Division, who represents the ultimate form of Decepticon ideals to the point of literally wearing their symbol as his mask? So how were we jumping straight to "oh Pharma hates Decepticons bc he's a posh bigoted functionist" when there was a far more immediate interpretation/headcanon of "Pharma hates Decepticons because he's being tortured and blackmailed by one."
That's not to say that Pharma couldn't have hated Decepticons before Delphi, and I think you could make interesting headcanons/extrapolations based on either idea. But still. It kinda feels like people saw Pharma and just wanted to make him the Token Evil Autobot who's the opposite of our Good Heroic Autobots regardless of whether evidence from canon supported it or not.
Good riddance to bigoted functionist Pharma fanon, I'm so glad that the majority of Pharma fanon these days actually gives him a chance and puts him on equal footing as other Autobots.
#squiggposting#that and there's that weird thing where people treat(ed) pharma as if he's starscream lite#so like bc they see starscream as posh and elitist and vain (how did that happen btw)#they basically go oh pharma must also be the same way#also how did ppl ever see pharma as posh when he speaks in the same register as everyone else and if anything has a campy flair to him#you can't look me in the eye and tell me this chaotic theatrical gremlin ass freak is a posh elitist like slkfjsldk#not mentioning the flyers=oppressed thing in this meta bc that bit of worldbuilding was established way later#tho i cannot entirely fault ppl for painting pharma as evil and treating him with double standards compared to other autobots#i mean literally in the same issue he was introduced he caught flak for giving in to DJD blackmail#whereas other characters explicitly speak about how scary/scared they are of the djd#so like it's clear pharma WAS meant to be the token evil autobot with compromised morals#who was so selfish as to (gasp) take a blackmail deal to keep him and his facility from painful torturous death#and then when he was already trapped in the deal be forced to eventually kill patients to keep up#how dare he. should've stood up to tarn and instantly been murdered like a good autobot#sorry for being pithy lol the apologism got a little too strong there#pharma apologism#also i think the way JRO writes if pharma was supposed to be bigoted you would like. be able to tell#JRO is not subtle about writing p much every bigoted character as massively flamingly racist/functionist/etc
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(zelda comic rough draft)
im still unable to draw anything ... except for really slowly getting the chapter 2 rough draft further for some reason, another screenshot from page 59
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#tloz#loz#demise#hylia#wip#now its almost the entire page i posted#but i dont think i need to keep any secrets ...#until this scene is painted i might have gone through 3 style changes again anyway lol#none of my test readers have been responding for a while#i worry not only about them but also about the comic ;O;#but i dont want to seem pushy or pressuring so im just kinda waiting nervously but patient bc they probably have better things to do#when im running low on motivation i tend to screenshot wips in hopes of getting a little bit of it back#and i havent been able to do anything else really#so ........................ q-q#even those wonky centaur sketches havent really done anything for me which is sad bc the idea itself is pretty cool#anyway i really like that first demise panel there#perhaps hes having a little too much fun fighting hylia considering shes still very much intending to seal him at some point#idk if its even clear whats happening .. much less without context xD
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Elrond would have been the bestest grandpa ever and the fact that he never got the opportunity to be so is a Crime.
#elrond#silmarillion#lotr#Fight me#You cannot change my mind#He would have been so sweet and soft with these tiny little babies of his babies#He would have loved them so much and spoiled them and let them sit on his lap while he does important things#Imagine Elrond just sitting there and patiently explaining what each plant does and what's in every book and what his clothes are made of#And where rivendell comes from and everything a curious bb can come up with#And helping his grandkids to make presents for their parents and aaaa#i have so many feels about this okau#I just want Elrond to have granddad time and Arwen waited too long and the twins apparently just didn't#Also the twins are the bestest uncles ever but are always fighting glorfindel and erestor over it#rivendell
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#something about mickey patiently waiting in line to use his own damn bathroom is just so fucking funny to me#and yes it is his bathroom he lives there fuck off#s1 Mickey wouldve just gone out back and shit in the bushes#but as I’ve said. he’s been domesticated. house trained and everything#shameless#mickey milkovich#noel fisher#shamelessedit#shamelessnet#my gifs#I wonder if he’s crate trained too or if they’re still working on it. I bet Ian has a clicker#🪐
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something that makes me sad is when people tell me the healthy communication in my writing is "unrealistic."
like guys this is how me and my partner talk with eachother... I'm writing from personal experience...
#like it's sad both on the front of 'dehumanizing my real life'#but also on the front of 'you deserve to have healthy communication in your life'#like if you think this is unrealistic it means more than likely you havent experienced someone being patient and understanding with you#and that makes me very very sad#I'm sorry#also it's just rude to tell me my writing is unrealistic LOL like hey#real people talk all kinds of ways. shut up#I've been told it's also in part cause they always understand their own feelings when theyre talking#but I'm like...#theyre like mid 30-early 40 and theyre immortal and theyre going through a lot of shit#I feel like theyve thought about it a lot#also the comic takes place over the course of a year so far#we're seeing the big moments and the fun mysteries#so#its about grown men who love eachother#sorry that they think about what they want to say before they say it#also as if adam isnt constantly wrong and steve isnt constantly pushing shit down#he's only JUST RECENTLY starting to share his emotions as they come up#instead of pretending theyre not there and letting things boil over#I think people just THINK theyre communicating way too clearly because their partner#who loves them#is listening and responding with kindness#like..#idk I have a lot of thoughts about this#would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE for this to spark a discussion#and especially for it to cause people to reread a little more critically#and perhaps even introspect on their own ideas of communication standards#I've been with my partner for 10 years. this is how we talk to eachother
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I need him to say “atta girl” or “good girl” to me like… pronto
#HE KEEPS SAYING ITTTT#UGH BUT NOT TO ME#JUST OUR ONE SUPER SHY SOLOIST TO ENCOURAGE HER#AND HE SAID IT LAST YEAR TO OUR CONFIDENT SOLOIST TO ENCOURAGE HER#WHEN IS IT MY TURN#he’s been saying “good band” and “bad band”#and “good dog” and “bad dog” on occasion#like WAY MORE than usual#so maybe it’s coming??? The day when he says it to me???#I’m waiting so patiently PLEEEASE#like not even in a weird way I just want his praise honestly#U#personal#teacher crush#teacher crush community#tc community#tc#tcc#tc ramblings#tc feelings#tc confession
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Father Mike Schmitz
Phoenix, AZ - March 2024
#Fr Mike Schmitz#Father Mike Schmitz#Mike Schmitz#catholic priest#roman catholic#hierophilia#my edits#usersam#usermack#userdylan#malebimbo#been saying “God save me” a lot this week#and Bless his name for he rewards thus who are patient#he looks so good i had to post this STAT
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A story of Lord Apollo
This is a pretty old story, back from when I first started incorporating deity work/worship into my practice.
I would have been newly sixteen at the time, a baby witch and still very unsure about my feelings towards worship, religion, and the divine (religious trauma anyone?).
I’d been working solely with Lord Apollo for only a few months at that point, Him being the very first of my deities. Despite all that I’d shared with Him, I remained very uncertain of this part of my life and beliefs. Was this all just in my head? Was I making assumptions? Was I just making it all up?
On my sixteenth birthday, a few months post the beginning of mine and Apollo’s working relationship, my family had some unexpected guests arrive to celebrate. Family friends, nothing too out of the ordinary.
I didn’t expect any sort of gift from them, I enjoyed their company plenty. Yet, they handed me a small, wrapped box and inside was a gorgeous golden sun pendant.
Immediately, I knew that it was a sign from Lord Apollo. A gift, even. I could sense him all around me, this brilliant, gentle warmth.
Ever since then, I haven’t doubted His presence in my life. And I wore that pendant until the chain snapped. I’m now looking into a new one, haha.
#apollo#apollo deity#apollon deity#lord apollo#apollo worship#he’s been so patient and kind to me#I adore him
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man i love open endings. the fact that thanks to yuuji there might indeed be the next time sukuna talks about in case some idiot decides to eat a finger again. and we need fics where yuuji is that idiot
#hiding this in the tags but i think jjk and mha kinda conveyed the same concept#i haven’t mentioned it because sukuita always steals 100% of my attention but gojo’s moment was great too! as i said i think gege stayed#true to his characters till the end and i’ve always thought gojo coming back to life was absolute bs not because i didn’t want him back but#because it would completely ruin what was trying to be told through his story. he carried out the destiny he was doomed to carry out and#gege even specified this for us and /why/ it’s going to be different for yuuji#it can also be found in the way gojo and sukuna fought vs yuuji and sukuna#and it’s rly similar to horikoshi’s concept of the new generation reaching out to the villains and trying to understand them & /that/ is#what ‘the greatest hero’ truly means#ok now i’m digressing because gojo was more about himself and the title he was stuck with but it’s all so similar you know#which brings me to my point (finally)#the fact that the villains always ‘loses’ in the end. and i’m thinking that letting them live would be such a risky direction to take bc#it’s so easy to make it either corny or unrealistic. if the whole thing is about succeeding in reaching out then it’s going to happen at the#very last. and realistically it’s going to be too late. they’re going to be too far gone and it sucks but that’s how it is#shoto can discuss soba with touya but he’s still slowly dying. you know#so the best we can hope for is that the battle the villain fought at least leaves a mark and they sure did#something something the bad guy changing the good guy as much as he changed him#so yeah um maybe i am making sense maybe i am not but i woke up this morning and kinda went insane because it dawned on me that yuuji gave#sukuna another chance to life taking himself out of the equation#UGH. CIGARETTE EMOJI#speaking of which i’ve been (im)patiently waiting for olasketches and cruyuu’s reactions#my fave people on tumblr are genuinely the first people i think about after something good happens#my post
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