#and he thinks other ppl should also be this way
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searched pervy xavier here and am very disappointed that i do not share this notion with anyone else 😔
tws: n/sfw content, panty stealing, getting caught, mentions of non-consensual recording, masturbation, reader brings other ppl home, he’s a lil pathetic but we love him, 0.6k+ wc, jealous!xavier, he’s a lil nasty tbh, my writing is messy here cuz I wrote this on a whim apologies if there are any errors ₊ 𓂃 also nonnie me 🤝 you … but imagine him as your pervy roommate . ps. art by rororo_mg on X + star dividers made by @saradika-graphics (check emout!)
Perv roommate!Xavier thinks you’re so damn cute, honestly, you're just the sweetest thing ever. Every morning, he can't help but smile when he sees you in the kitchen, making breakfast for the both of you. There's something about the way you move so effortlessly, humming to yourself while you cook, that completely melts his heart and makes his cock stir in his sweats. He can’t help but stare at the little shorts barely covering your plump ass fully.. fantasizing about walking up behind you and bending you over the kitchen counter. Xavier imagined how your cunt would taste on his tongue- how your pussy would gush in his face as he ate you out like a man starved.
perv roommate!Xavier makes a habit to purposefully drop stuff in front of you, giving you his best puppy eyes and requesting that you pick it up for him, and it worked like a charm every time. Little did you know that it was only an excuse to have you bend over in front of him— azure eyes raking over the tempting view you put on, saliva gathering in his mouth as he stared at the roundness of your ass. Hell, he could even see your puffy pussy lips through your tight shorts— were you wearing them on purpose?
perv roommate!Xavier who knows about your little toys— the baby pink vibrator that you use at night, not knowing your roommate is pleasuring himself to your sweet little moans and yelps. His hand squeezing his cock tightly, trying to imagine how your soft cunt would feel around him— or even your cute little mouth. He’d try and match his thrusts to your moans, and it makes him cum embarrassingly quick— sticky white goop spilling on his bedroom floor and hands, leaving him panting. Maybe he should set up a camera in your room sometime..
perv roommate!Xavier who gets jealous when you bring a random guy home one night, telling him that you’ll try not to be loud. ‘Why would you bring another guy home when he was right there?’ — he thought, as he heard the wet, lewd sounds of you getting fucked by another man. Fuck, it made him mad but also he couldn’t help but get turned on by it. The sounds of your bed creaking- slamming against the wall, your wails and cries of pleasure as you got pounded into the sheets made Xavier’s cock throb in his pants. God, he really was a freak— getting off to another man fucking the girl he liked.
perv roommate!Xavier who would insist on doing laundry for the both of you— but that's only an excuse to steal your panties. He can't help it, y'know? They're so cute and pretty.. and just perfect to wrap around his cock while he fucks his fist with the thought of you in his mind. Sometimes he even likes to sniff 'em, groaning out loud as the scent of your pussy floods his senses. He can't help but lap his tongue over the small wet spot on the thin material, suckling at the spot where your clit would be— moaning and whining as spurts of pre leaked from his cock.
perv roommate!Xavier who was currently jerking his cock with your used panties wrapped around his cock in the living room— shamelessly getting off to the thought of fucking your sweet, warm little hole while you were at work. He was so focused on how you would feel around him, that he didn't even hear the front door open. You could only gasp at the sight— his cream colored sweater pulled up and pants pulled down, and clenching and unclenching with each pump of his hand- wait.. were those your panties?! Before you could even reprimand him— or even get a word in, for that matter, Xavier's head whipped to your direction as he heard the small noise— his panicked blue eyes catching your own shocked ones.
"Oh. Shit."
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x reader smut#love and deepspace smut#Xavier smut#xavier love and deepspace#Xavier x reader#Xavier x reader smut#perv!xavier
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coop is so funny bc while he super duper hates secrecy, he does also obviously understand why there are things that just need to be kept secret. and anyone who is just out there spilling the beans about literally fucking anything is immediately sus to him. this can be from something big and important to something mundane as gossip lmfao. he's just like. if someone told u something in confidence, keep to that. especially if you're just talking just to talk w/o any action behind it. if you wanna spill secrets in an effort to dismantle something, okay, that's different. but if you're too cowardly to do that and are just leaking secrets hoping someone else will do the leg work for u, he hates that.
#.headcanon ( looks like chaos; but there's always somebody behind the wheel )#i think this is at the root of why even after he leaves barb and everything#bc he can't like. publicly go out and be a whistleblower (NDA...there just has to be an NDA)#he's not like. talking to ANYONE about vault-tec and why that all went to shit#he DID sign an NDA#like some things just aren't his secrets to tell if he can't properly do something about it#and he thinks other ppl should also be this way#put up or shut up essentially#like moldaver for example. she has a PLAN w/what she tells him#there's action behind her. she fully intends to ACT on whatever information he gets for her from spying on barb#which is part of why he agrees. he knows she's obviously willing to risk things herself as well. and he's really fucking curious#(also he thinks he's HELPING his wife by doing this soo.....yeah)
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Dungeon lord Chilchuck
What would his wish as a dungeon lord be? What would he be like? Headcanons & speculation post for fun. But I’ll start with analytic lead up because that’s always fun for me, though feel free to skip and skim.
When it comes to what Chilchuck’s dungeon lord desires could/would be like we have mainly 3 hints: His nightmare, his succubus and what the winged lion says to him.
Why: — From what we see nightmares are based on the person’s worst fears and insecurities, both Laios’ and Marcille’s nightmare were closely tied to their dungeon lord wishes (Laios’ dream monster being summoned to crush the ghosts of relationships that represented the pressure to fit in and belong, Marcille seeking control over death and aging through magic to avoid loss), the fuel behind their desire/goal if you will. Fear and deep-seated desires are seemingly closely tied, something also supported by Thistle and Mithrun’s reigns as dungeon lords (Thistle proving his worth through fulfilling his given duty + protecting his loved ones, being listened to instead of having to listen, Mithrun escaping rigid two-faced elven society and living in a wonderland where he has no enemies and he’s loved, free from everyone he knew yet propped up by the person symbolizing his brother being chosen over him, the bastard child).
— I’ve talked about the significance I assign to the succubi often by now, but rundown: What we see of each character is all very telling if you care to listen, it shows not only someone’s "ideal form" but what they want from it. Izutsumi’s is familial, offering a hug and comfort, Marcille’s is romantic with a character she knows and loves, offering a kiss on a hand and a connection regardless of how distant it actually is, and Laios’ is platonic, arguable at first but then Laios’ fear of judgement is placated and he is offered the picture perfect friend group that accepts his interest (if you want my full look at Laios’ succubus go here). They take on the most alluring form, most ideal person of their victim, even uncovering deep subconscious desires, so precisely and effectively to the point it leaves victims physically frozen before the object of their desire. Succubi and the demon are themselves tied in lore and it’s easy to see how similar their core skill are. Succubi don’t give a good idea of what a character would wish for on their own but they certainly give hints on what they crave, regardless of how you want to read it.
— Last bit is self-explanatory. To placate Chilchuck and win his compliance over, the monster that reads your soul like an open book offers to give him something specific. But! It’s also important to remember that the lion isn’t offering to fulfill Chilchuck’s dream world wish here, it’s a second prize, because his goal with what he promised Laios is that they’d stay in this world, away from everyone and everything else. Chilchuck wants to get away but is kept back, and it’s here the lion placates him with "hey it’s okay! You can’t do that but I can still give you this! This is enough right? It’ll make everything easier on you".
What each bit says: — Long version in another post. Tldlr: His daughters and family are obviously important to him, and this reinforces that he takes on the role of protector a lot, he’s constantly worried for his party members’ lives and implicitly his family’s. Safety and stability, both economical and otherwise, are his core values and goals, and he berates both others and himself if someone fails on those fronts. Here, there’s the fear of not being enough, of not having been able to protect, and of course of loss.
— Chil’s succubi are obviously sexual, and not only that but agressively and straightforwardly so. It’s not like Marcille’s where there’s personality involved, all they do is give him sultry looks and pretty smiles before jumping on him. His succubi aren’t like Izutsumi’s, always the same exact person and appearance, so it’s not someone but an appealing general idea. The idea of a sexual being he can regard as simply a gorgeous piece of meat and a good time no strings attached. In my interpretation, especially with my reading of Laios’ succubus where even with deep-seated desires negative emotions can be too intense to effectively freeze a victim, I think this doesn’t contradict his character. Relationships have been painful to him in the past, in the succubus scene when his wife gets mentioned his immediate reaction is to yell "Don’t bring her up now!", like with his habit of drinking and as a tallman liking his senses feeling dulled, it’s about not having to feel emotions with how difficult they are to deal with sometimes and just feeling good, or at least not having to think, for a while. If a succubus showcases someone’s ideal connection with an ideal person, then Chilchuck’s is with a pretty person that doesn’t stir any negative memory or drama, someone low stakes and low maintenance that doesn’t require him to manage or talk out feelings because there’s none involved in the first place.
— Once more, wife and family are important! He does long for his family, not only his wife but his daughters, and vice versa. This suggests not only that he wants good relationships with them but that he wants them to be with him, a family life. Far from the cut communication they all more of less have during canon, and perhaps far from their life pre-canon when he worked away from home a significant amount of time. We’ve seen recreations of people by the winged lion before with doppelgangers and monsters (naga), and though he claims he can make satisfying imitations, what we’ve seen is that they base themselves on the best memories of that person, like with Marcille’s dad, or twist behavior to be more pleasant, like Mithrun’s lover (and possibly twist appearances depending on the person’s view of them, but that’s Mithrun analysis). The line does suggest Chilchuck would want his family members as they are in reality and not idealized versions, but the circumstances are chaotic and urgent enough in the scene (and again the lion isn’t fulfilling Chilchuck’s wish but trying to make him content for Laios’) that it could just be the winged lion saying what he needs to to convince him the fastest possible, and like we see with Laios that can crumble to give way to deeper or more complex desires.
On top of that we just have general info on Chil. How does Chilchuck deal w his issues? What does he like to do? He likes alcohol and ignoring his problems. We have to remember there is a split between what someone would consciously wish for and what their soul uncontrollably irrationally craves. As always with Dunmeshi, there’s a narrative of irrational deep-seated desires vs active wants, what you crave vs what you strive for, what you dream of vs what’s actually good for you, the animal vs the human inside you, heart vs mind. Chilchuck craving a harem of hot babes in his fantasies but wanting his family life & wife back again is not mutually exclusive. You may crave becoming a monster and tasting what humans are like a little but still want to save the world & your friends more.
Btw can we adress the irony of him terrified of being the last one alive, of being left by his daughters and wife, of having left and coming back home one day to see everything gone or rampaged, yet not caring about dying of liver failure himself, knowing every time that he enters a dungeon there’s a real risk he may not come out. Die somewhere I can’t see you. I prefer leaving you than being left behind. He’s selfish and shortsighted like that… Chilchuck is selfless in many ways of course, but perhaps also due to his own relationship with his parents, he often undermines the effects he has on others in his relationships, both the good and the bad (he talks himself down about being cowardly and greedy yes, but never hints at his bad health habits, alcoholism and starving himself, may have affected his loved ones, doesn’t question his wife falling into a bad mood the night before she left, and talks about the possibility of dying here and there very casually, though obviously he tries his best to stay alive when it doesn’t concern his health).
Chilchuck king of "Let me just avoid and ignore my problems surely they’ll go away, things might work out and if they don’t well tough luck I’ll survive and I probably deserve it anyways". If I don’t look at it it will dissapear <3 Why care when you can simply not think about it.
You might not understand Mister "my love will stay strong through months of work travel and also 4 years of separation" and Mister "well idk my siblings and me are kinda strangers and my dad is dead but that’s kinda whatever", but typically relationships need some form of maintenance and emotional availability…
The actual headcanons finally
I kinda have 2 routes in mind for dunlord Chil and both of them are centered on "I care too much, i wish things were easy", so first is a lot like his succubi, it’s full on indulging in his guilty pleasures like alcohol and bodies and it’s to keep him in a constant state of thrill and euphoria and distracted, unfeeling about stuff that really matters. "Nothing matters except that I’m enjoying the moment!" vibe. He gets to live a life worthy of Dionysus, with alcohol and women and debauchery and like— never having to think again, never having to feel anything but pleasure again, never have to feel guilty or shitty or angry or sad. He has a harem and gets everything on a silver platter.
Breaking news demon magic-induced rush of euphoria and power still not enough to cure this man of his self-hatred nor his capacity for thought!! But in his case a state of euphoria is what he seeks I think, to kinda mask or replace the Everything Else.
The other is what I think closer to what canon suggests, with what WL implied too with "I’ll make you a new wife and kids like the originals!! 😊", it’s a (spoilers) Wandavision type thing where it’s a slice of life where he’s never at work and always at home and the family eats lunches at the dinner table together and everything and everyone at any moment is just. Happy. No issues. It was all a dream, this is real and everything is fine and your family is perfect and happy. I like to think the timeline would be wonky, his daughters would fluctuate in age, but he’d want to be there for what he missed, would want them to still rely on him and look up to him like when they were young, would like to forget that they’re now independent adults and the distance that grew between Chilchuck and his siblings is happening between them as well. Chil would want doppelgangers of his family imo, at its core just a general wish for a peaceful happy family life with no drama, no need to compromise, a little paradise of unconditional love and no consequences. It’s for sure straightforward, but Chilchuck is a man with straightforward desires…
But see Chilchuck is a greedy man, and he wants it both ways without having to sacrifice anything or expanding any efforts himself. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think playing with these two opposite directions and mixing and matching is most fun. Him leading a life where he indulges in all his worst habits while still having everything he wants… Him getting to have BOTH his wife and any woman he can imagine up, his life like two sides of a coin he can flip at any moment where he’s partying then he’s at home enjoying the quiet and his toddler daughters playing with toys on the carpet. Christ when you remember it’s all an illusion that’s terrifying, the doppelgangers and succubi from the winged lion playing chilchuck ping pong.
A safe little haven both security-stability wise and emotionally. Gets to have both the relaxing and the thrilling in any dose he wants, mixed or separatedly. What I’d argue he had pre-canon too: Can live it up in taverns away from home, stays away from home for long periods of time, and can come back to home aka the symbol of relaxation and safety whenever he decides to. Something he can leave and come back to at will, an anchor he can trust in (until it’s taken from him and his wife leaves. Or in his worse nightmare people rush in and kill his daughters). The ideal of a house and family to a working man, perhaps…
I think it’s fun to think on wether or not these desires would be interesting at all to the winged lion… In canon he seeks out "rare/complex desires", common simple things like I imagine riches, sex, substances and pleasure would be are boring to him, he’s eaten those so many times already. So perhaps he wouldn’t last long as a dunlord, the WL would want to eat him fully quick, can’t keep him interested or waiting long for a meager meal, too much effort raising the cattle and too low quality meat. By making it more twisted or layered Chil’s desire would become more desirable to the demon, it’s part of what’s fun with the third option to me. But whatever. Has he ever eaten a guy with this much repression and self-sabotage... Like trying to get the meat out of a walnut, enrichment…
Other dunlord Chil takes I’ve seen that are fun and good:
@feelo-fick and @pluvio-floret have a dunlord Chilchuck AU project dubbed "tragedy AU" where Chilchuck is said to be "on vacation", in a weird delirious state, only half-there half of the time… From which he doesn’t want to wake up </3 Quoting Feelo, this is why the vacation thing is only a half-joke cause he is 1) letting all his responsibilities go 2) indulging in himself and 3) "spending time with his family" <- lie but you get what i mean. Additional comments that have me vigorously nodding: because changing is hard why cant things just be okay right now without the effort !!! Life is hard he’s so so tired he just wants to feel good… he just wants life to feel nice and easy for a sec while he can learn to breathe again and lose the stress and trauma he’s accumulated…….. spoiler alert yes !!! in fact a depressed person can suck themselves into their job and lock out the world who wouldve thought !!!
And then Cabinette I know posted about his dunlord take once but I don’t have the link, in which Chil has a lot of nosebleeds because of mana overload which is fun and interesting to think about imo~
In dunmeshi, where characters get underground pockets of the world as their playground disconnected from everything outside and the rest of the world, it’s important to remember to face reality even if it has conflict and people with different views and stances from you, it’s something Chilchuck and Marcille and everyone needed to learn, and the thing with a dungeon lord AU is that you imagine a timeline where he fails to <3
A timeline where his dungeon lord wish is to desire nothing bc hope and want has only ever hurt him would also go so hard. Very universal thing though I suppose.
… And this is why a Chilchuck-centric Coraline AU is really really interesting and fitting and topical— Ok that’ll go in a separate reblog/post at @Fumiku I need to let this end
#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#Analysis#dungeon lord chilchuck#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Wish we could put just parts of a post under a ‘click to read more’ box that scrolls open and closes neatly#Bc 3/4th of the post is just extra explanation for ppl who don’t See The Vision already but like that’s not what i wanted most of the post#to be really gdbdg#Headcanons#You could say the family also represents something he’s built up with how own hands. If he has self-worth issues and thinks he’s a screw-up#in the virtue/honor and likability department especially— his family destroyed/killed also represents the one biggest good thing#he’s done/created crumbling also. Like his wife leaving without a word while he trusted their relationship this can hugely impact#one’s sense of identity and self-worth and what you’re living life for. In his case it’s not too surprising he turned to simple#physical pleasures for comfort and enjoyment. Like with tasting good food having moments feeling good keeps you going#He always focuses on the bad relationships bring and never the good aghhhh#The reverse of Marcille who often idealizes. They both ignore problems in their relationships in opposite ways.#What do you mean why do i bring up marcille. Okay yes this’ll get a marchil Fumiku short brainstorm reblog as well#Chilchuck is so… curse of having feelings and not realizing the extent of them. Underestimating how much you care#It’s either ‘i’m fine who cares’ or falling into the pits of despair and blaming himself n spilling his whole bag no inbetween#Dunmeshi succubus#Fumi rambles#boy that’s what this boils down to i suppose#Family angst “Hey I came back home from work and i’m tired so don’t talk to me about problems or anything k? I’m here to relax smh damn”#< unwilling to admit he has issues he should be working on or that some things are affecting others negatively#Chil you are so enneagram 6w7 <3
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I love that this fandom doesn't understand Baxter's character, I adore how they patronize him,a whole ass adult, for facing the consequences of his actions.
I love how people make him feel like a sad little baby when he leaves mc as if that's not something he made extremely clear. I love how people treat this 19 year old as if he's not old enough to understand the consequences of his actions. I love how Baxter is aware of his flaw's but feels like he can't break them because people only see him as a tool and this fandom reinforces that.
I love how people will get mad at Nico for doing the cardinal crime of being 6 years old but will baby a 24 year old Baxter. I love how people make him this charismatic rich guy when it's shown that he's a hot mess that doesn't know what he wants. I love that Baxter's whole character arc is about his self sabotaging tendencies and how everyone ignores that. I love that people fell in love with the mask he had for most of the dlc.
I love that this fandom lacks reading comprehension skills and understanding of nuance characters, great job everyone for not understanding how writing works :)
#our life#misty talks our life#olba#our life beginnings & always#our life beginnings and always#olba baxter#our life baxter#baxter ward#this is what i mean by “i don't haye Baxter's character” i think hes very interesting and we should look towards his dlc with critical eyes#because it's a fact that his dlc was rushed and that kab/gb lady doesnt care for him#it shown in the writing of his dlc#so that is interesting for me but is also interesting for me how ppl are quick to baby this man#like again baxter is fucking 19 when he leaves mc “but misty 19 year olds aren't fully growns up” hi 19 year old here#i know that bitch but im old enough to understand that my actions have consequences and affect others#which is smth Baxter is aware of as well#that's fhe thing that bothers me#hes young enough to make that mistake but old enough to understand it will impact mc view on relationships#romantic or platonic smth like that will affect you in some ways#and he knows because hes not a young teenager who still doesn't know how his actions impact people#hes legally an adult he can live on his own hes able to ride a car hes off to college#is not a grown up but is not a child either#as a 19 year old I would love of ppl treated him as a young adult making a dumb mistake#instead of a baby who didn't know any better#like even if he did regret it he knows that thats his fault#hes aware that hes doing this shit to himself and wont stop#thats the point of his dlc#anyways i should make a post on cove's autism
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Enomatsumiki ot3 charts bc them and Chappell Roan is the only thing that has been keeping me stable
#scarposts#not going in ANY major tags#nope#enomatsumiki#that one is ok bc its mostly empty anyway#anyway i have been cooking with my Remnant Matsuda au#you should totally ask me about it btw#but with the actual chart#alot of it is steeped in canon#like matsuda being the first to apologize after a fight#which he does in dr0#and mikan too bc she would apologize before the fight was even over#also the firsts are a bit confusing mainly bc matsushima was together way beforehand so#except the wake up one#thats bc i believe that they would wake up together at the same time bc they commute to work together#if they sleep to begin with#junko however just snoozes away#also not sure with the tropes#childhood freinds are a given#but i did coworkers and classmates for matsumiki bc thats the best i could#and love at first sight and patient nurse for junkan bc i have no fucking clue#pick your poison i suppose#Jealousy is not with each other btw its outsiders#matsuda with two people who thrive off pda when he absolutely does not#its ok they have each other then they can bother him when they are alone#Actually whats with mikan working well with people she absolutely should not?#mikan: i dont like when ppl are mad or bored... i always think its my fault :(#junko and yasuke: 😐😠#mikan: <333333333333333333333333333#she chose the woman who destroyed the world bc of boredom and the guy who is immune to having a good day
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Honestly it annoys me that pride, ambition, and generally having a big ego are always villainous/evil-coded personality traits because personally I think if you genuinely are a prodigy at what you do you are 100% within your rights, perhaps even deserving, of flaunting your skills and being proud of the fact you can do something that only a small fraction of other people can do. Is it even ego at that point if you genuinely are as good at your field/skill as you say you are? Are people not aware that becoming a prodigy at something is something that takes lifelong sacrifice and practice sometimes to the point of giving up on having a normal life, relationships, etc even potentially destroying your own health???? God I fucking hate how pride in your own skills and ambition are so villain coded all the time. As if it's evil to want to be good at something and be recognized for what you rightfully earned
#squiggposting#this is part of why i like pharma obviously lol but it's happened to me w#other blorbos ive had in the past#bc like full offense if you're capable of doing something like partially inventing the cures to 5 different terminal diseases#in only a few months/a year of research. or if you can do an organ donation and replacement surgery#with yourself as one of the donors. you literally ARE the best doctor who has ever lived#and you DESERVE to flaunt it bc. what fucking achievement is higher than that???#some feats demand recognition in my opinion. maybe it's just bc I've always been competitive#and from a young age enjoyed a (relative) degree of fame for being really good at certain things#ive always enjoyed being an object of awe bc bitch i spent my whole life working to be this good#do i hold it over ppl or treat them badly for not being as good as me? i admit i used to but i grew out of it#but the ego? certainly not. i think if you're good at something you should own it#i think if you're a prodigy and put your skills into doing good work youve earned your fame and recognition#this expectation of false humility we have is sooooo annoying#ohhhh boo hoo pharma is a little bit of an annoying asshole about being a better doctor than ratchet#the cures he helped design will save literal thousands of lives from now until the rest of time#but somehow the way he FEELS about it is more important than the CONCRETE POSITIVE GAIN he put into the universe?#and also in general i hate it when ppl assume that pride/ego and being kind towards others are mutually exclusive#in general i feel like i could write an essay about how self vs others is treated as a dichotomy#where it's assumed that in order to uplift others you have to self efface and diminish yourself#or if you flaunt yourself it automatically means you're putting down others. it's not true.#video essay topic for later lol
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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight
#radio rambles#i should go to bed but. it is on the mind#isat spoilers#<- for the . wall of tags to come#imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be#i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat#and probably the intention#but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that ‘do u hc this character as a system’ post abt siffrin#and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF#it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young#splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdp’s whole thing#a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone#many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family#mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to#a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared#its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it#uhm. ok well#so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery#now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and#wow christ im upset#also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics here….. sillies…..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body#the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair#think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace#SPEAKING OF LOOP#i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well#and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf#im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT#thinking. always thinking
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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Honestly really hope 4.1 gives ANY kind of interesting aspect to Neuvillette and Wriothesley's dynamic bc rn "token yaoi bait of 2 tall men who live in the same country, work together professionally but are not close personally" is just not hitting for me...
Like give me SOMETHING to work with so I don't have to be annoyed with the Wriolette art when I'm just trying to look for Neuvillette fanart
#saccha's thoughts#neuvillette#wriothesley#gi#the leaked voicelines aren't doing it either#the whole 'oh he held an umbrella for him once' would only appeal to me if I had prior investment in the ship#but I don't#bc pre-4.1 wriothesley is quite literally an NPC#and not once mentioned by neuvillette in the archon quest#give me ONE reason why I should be invested in that ship that isn't '2 attractive tall men... TOGETHER'#inb4 u ask why I think they are not close personally#it was said twice that neuvillette purposefully avoids forming personal relationships with the ppl of fontaine (no exceptions)#and also their respective voice lines about each other do not imply they are close personally in any way#the only non-professional connection they have is through sigewinne#bc neuvillette has a big soft spot for melusines and she works in the fortress of meropide as head nurse
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my oikawa hot take is i don't actually think he would have piercings or tattoos. in my mind palace he is not a fan of needles. not necessarily a phobia, just.. not a fan. i could see him maybe wearing clip on earrings sometimes but otherwise.... he is boring.
#ok so i don't actually see Many people hcing oikawa with tattoos BUT!! i do see ppl give him earrings and other piercings a lot#oikawa is a fascinating individual in many ways but i also think he is kinda boring in other ways. he's multifaceted.#oikawa would be offended by the notion that not having tattoos/piercings makes him boring which is why i said it#and also i think his friends call him boring for it bc they will take any opportunity to tease oikawa#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk. u should know i DO think iwa would have piercings/tattoos#<- will elaborate if anyone wants to know specifics bc i do have things in mind
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youtube
see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Me, the only Ares and Nyx shipper on planet earth: 😏
#shut up alli#i mean in general too not just in this game specifically#i have my reasons#mainly being that of Ares being an often mischaracterized god and Nyx scares Ares’ fuck ass dad Zeus lmao#I will defend Ares with my LIFE he is not a bad god. not as bad as some of the other ones anyway#his parents hate him but it’s literally Zeus and Hera idgaf what they think#I know the general assumption is to portray him as evil feral man but I simply do not agree#I do think of course he is chaotic and a hothead but I just don’t think the man who killed his kid’s rapist is that bad idk#he’s also celebrated by women btw. he’s good to women#so when people make him off to be a sleazy creep it drives me insane he has NEVER been shown to assault anybody#idk everyone kinda clowned on him in written stuff about him and somehow the stuff showing his positive traits were mostly lost#which means everyone who does interpretations of him in modern media always does the same goddamn thing for him#makes me saddddd Ares you were done dirty#Hades so far has had a fine interpretation of Ares imo though. I like this fella and the way he counts the amount of enemies you killed#anyway I think Ares and Nyx should kiss. he deserves a dark beautiful women who doesn’t care that he kills ppl#I do think Ares and Aphrodite are cute btw I get the whole sybolism of love x war so no shade to it#butttt I also like playing with mythological beings like dolls hehe#anyway I’m autistic bye I have to go the store
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Thinking about IDW Optimus again and the fandom's aversion to even acknowledging he exists bc he's a cop or whatever and like. Most of the time people literally just replace him in fic with some white bread knockoff archivist/librarian, not even bothering to keep in IDW OP's personality (which just bolsters my theory that the problem isn't him being a cop the problem is that he's too multifaceted but I digress).
And it's annoying because you could totally write IDW Optimus as not a cop while still keeping his canon personality. You just have to realize that the reason IDW OP became a cop in the first place is because his formative experiences when he was young shaped him to basically have two priorities: 1. To help people and 2. To do it by being on the ground actively doing something about the bad things happening to people.
IDW OP would not be a fucking librarian or archivist because even though those are noble pursuits that can help people and change the world, and Optimus is educated/smart enough for the profession, he wouldn't be satisfied just teaching people or spreading information about activism or social-historical studies or whatever. He's a mech of action: he needs to be doing things right now, in front of him, to people he sees/interacts with in his own eyes, improving society with concrete actions rather than indirect action or abstract inspiration.
So basically the alternate job ideas I can think of for IDW Optimus are something like being a firefighter (or any first responder really) or even whatever the equivalent would be to international charity organizations, those ones that send volunteers across the world to do stuff like build housing/infrastructure or distribute food or whatnot. I mean I can't imagine that the equivalents to these things would be exactly the same in IDW Cybertron, so you'd have to get a little creative with it, but these are just some ideas of jobs that would fit IDW Optimus' personality while still filling the niche of "not a cop" for people who are just that opposed to it.
Though I think the revulsion against coptimus is annoying in general tbh because IDW is already a continuity that rejects the idea of easily defined good/evil people or groups. It feels like people really want Optimus to be a good person in a very sanitized and academically approved way, so he has to be nice and squeaky clean but also like, a perfect leftist who knows theory and holds the most progressive opinions on every single issue....
There is no room for the idea that good people join bad institutions, there's no room for the idea that the reason people think cops are good guys who help people is bc of the government propaganda everything is saturated with. Hell there's even later issues of the Optimus Prime series by John Barber where Optimus like, MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES, is shown in flashbacks grappling with the fact that he as a cop/Zeta's regime that he works for might not actually be improving society like they say they are, and dealing with the fact that he feels more like a lesser evil compared to the Decepticons (perhaps not "lesser" at all).
It's like there's this idea in fandom of like, fictional media and opinions on media having to strictly adhere to progressive ideals at all times. So people just go "cops bad, this character is a cop, therefore they suck" without being willing to engage with the idea of like. IDW OP is born wanting to fight injustice and protect people -> a good way to protect people is to fight the people who are hurting them and committing crimes -> surely following the law is a reliable moral code to guide him in this -> becomes a cop because he's been indoctrinated into a society (much like our own) where he was told that the state/the law exist to protect the people and being a cop means you get to fight bad guys that hurt people. There's really so many interesting concepts there that could be (and CANONICALLY IS) explored about how good, well-intentioned people can be led to harmful actions simply because they have been fed the idea that the things they're doing are good/helpful/noble. Which is especially important for a character like Optimus, I think, who has a cultural icon status as The Irrefutable and Perfect Good, so it's really important actually to use IDW Optimus as an example of how even the most noble people you know have held problematic beliefs or done bad things at some point in their life. You know, because no one is born perfect and ideologically pure, and in fact society is constructed in exactly a manner to make people drink the kool-aid and believe that the systems designed to hurt them/others are just a normal, if flawed, society.
I mean the writing in IDW literally has Optimus deal directly and indirectly with the harm he's done as a cop and how people don't/didn't trust him because of that. I don't know what the fuck else this fandom wants if the source material literally saying "OP realizes that cops suck and he hurt people and earned their disdain by doing the things he did" doesn't stop them from going EW cop bastard sucks and is the worst Optimus. Like the narrative barely stops short of outright saying ACAB and Optimus himself would agree with this sentiment.
At that point, the collective fandom beef with IDW OP isn't because he's a cop and the narrative didn't do enough to condemn that. The problem is literally just that people don't read and don't care
TLDR: Consider the fact that good people can do bad things sometimes especially when living from birth in a corrupt society that thoroughly disguises its vices/oppressive structures as completely normal parts of existence
#squiggposting#idw op love#like honestly just admit that you havent actually read his parts of the story#or that in a continuity of moral grayness you insist OP must be the one person who's perfectly good#bc idk Optimus is supposed to be good and perfect bc nostalgia/marketing/mythology says he should be#also i feel like theres evidence here of a very juvenile mindset of like#to be good a person has to have all the right beliefs and say it in all the right ways#which is the mindset only extremely insular or inexperienced ppl could possibly have lmao#heartbreaking i know but IRL there are very few people who are and always have been progressive and perfect#there are ppl within progressive mvmts that have unaddressed harmful beliefs outside of their Chosen Issue#there are people who wouldnt ID as progressive at all but are still good ppl who act well towards others#like if youve actually interacted with ppl IRL you understand that if you reject everyone who isnt Perfectly Progressive#youll have few if any allies and possibly alienate ppl who would help/ARE HELPING#like idk do you know how many ppl i personally know who i think have some bigoted/problematic beliefs#but im still friends or collaborators w them bc i understand that theyre still good ppl learning and growing#like. learn to understand that 'goodness' doesnt always look like a walking leftist textbook please i'm begging#and in fact sometimes stories. esp adult and mature ones. will present you w problematic ppl#and you have to like. grapple with their flaws and explore the tension between intention and consequences#a bit of a philosophy tangent rather than anything TF related which is why i kept it to the tags
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