#Xavier x reader
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cr: pnk_clown
#xavier#lads xavier#xavier x mc#xavier x reader#shen xinghui#xavier smut#love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 ⋯ 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐌
𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑
The steady hum of the car engine ceases as he parks in front of the diner. It’s well-known that Xavier uses public transportation rather than personal vehicles, so you’ve been teaching him to drive, and today was his first time navigating city streets after practicing in the borrowed car. His driving was okay, and he’s following traffic laws—it doesn’t look like he’s a beginner.
“I hope that was acceptable,” he says, turning to look at you for approval.
“Yeah, you did great,” you smile at him. “I’m going to check their specials,” you exit the car, slamming the door.
Through the window, you notice Xavier’s eyes widen slightly. He remains frozen, hands still gripping the wheel at exactly ten and two, blinking slowly, processing.
You return to the driver’s side, tapping the window. When he rolls it down, you ask, “Did you want the chicken sandwich or burger?”
“Chicken sandwich, ple—” before he can finish his answer, you turn and slam the passenger door shut again. Returning to see his reaction, his expression has cracked. His brows are furrowed, and he’s staring at the door like it just offended him.
“Did I... drive the car incorrectly?” he finally asks when you return. “Were you mad at me because I drove too slow? If I endangered your safety—”
You can’t hold back your laughter anymore. His confusion only deepens until you explain the prank, watching as relief floods his features.
𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄
Rain patters against the sleek black Audi as Zayne pulls up to the curb. His shift at the hospital ran late, as usual, but he still came to pick you up precisely when promised, not a minute late.
“Sorry about the wait,” he says, checking his watch. “There was an emergency that I needed to handle earlier.”
You slide into the passenger seat and slam the door with enough force to make the car shake. He stares at you for a few seconds—searching for signs of distress.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“Just tired,” you respond casually, launching into a story about your day.
His shoulders relax marginally as he drives, one hand occasionally brushing yours. The rain intensifies as you reach your destination.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” you say, exiting and slamming the door even harder than before.
Within seconds, Zayne is out of the car, heedless of the downpour soaking his shirt.
“What’s going on?” he asks, standing close. “The car door isn’t engineered for that level of force.” His voice softens slightly. “If something’s bothering you, I’d prefer you tell me directly rather than taking it out on my car.”
When you confess it’s just a prank, his expression shifts from concern to exasperation. He pulls you under the shelter in front of your apartment building, shaking his head. “Never mind. I’ll stop by your place for a while. Wait for me inside.”
𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋
Rafayel’s sports car gleams under the afternoon sun as he pulls into the gas station, humming along to the radio. The salt air whips through his hair as he occasionally points out interesting cloud formations or particularly vibrant patches of wildflowers. His latest exhibition has left him in high spirits for some reason.
“Need to stretch my legs,” you announce as the car stops.
You exit, slamming the door. Rafayel visibly flinches, his languid posture suddenly rigid. His eyes widen in genuine shock as he physically jumps, mouth dropping open.
“Are you trying to dismantle my car?” he calls after you, offense in his voice.
You return to his side of the door just a few seconds after you left the car. “Want anything from inside?” you ask sweetly.
“Want some of those little crunchy—” he begins, but before he can finish, you slam his door shut, the wind from the motion ruffling his carefully styled hair. His mouth drops open, utterly scandalized.
“Are you attempting to decapitate me now?” he exclaims. “This is a limited edition!”
When you return with snacks and slam the door a third time, he drapes himself dramatically over the steering wheel.
“My car, my hair, my peace—all victims of your violence today,” he laments. He snatches his chips from your hand. But a smile tugs at his lips as he watches you unwrap a chocolate bar. “You’re lucky I adore you, or I’d leave you at this gas station for such crimes.”
𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒
The sleek black vehicle purrs to a stop at the upscale service station. Sylus checks his watch—still ahead of schedule for your weekend getaway.
“I need fuel,” he states, unbuckling his seatbelt. “For both the car and myself. We’ll reach the border by nightfall.”
“I’ll grab some snacks,” you slammed the door, the sound echoes across the quiet station.
Sylus pauses, one eyebrow raised at the unexpected disturbance. His gaze follows you as you walk toward the store.
You return moments later, opening his side of the car door. “Preferences?”
“Anything you’re getting,” he replies, but before he can say more, you slam the door again, practically in his face. This time, a small smile plays on his lips as he watches you walk away. The second slam was deliberate—he’s certain of it now.
When you return and slam the door a third time after settling in, he turns to you with amused eyes.
“Are we finished assaulting my car, or should I expect further acts of aggression?” he asks, voice laced with dry humor. “Though I do admire your commitment to the bit. Almost as much as I admire how you think you can get away with it.”
His hand slides over yours, thumb tracing circles. “I’ll remember this when we reach our destination.”
𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐁
Caleb whistles as he pulls into the driveway, his silver Lamborghini reflecting the sunset. He’d been animatedly recounting a flight maneuver demonstration all the way home, his hands occasionally leaving the wheel to illustrate his points. The day’s meetings at the Fleet headquarters have left him exhausted, but seeing you always brightens his mood as he tells you about his day.
He parks precisely in his designated spot. “Finally home,” he sighs contentedly, killing the engine.
Before he can say another word, you’re out of your seat, slamming the car door with tremendous force. Through the window, you see him freeze mid-sentence, staring at the door.
He exits slowly, keys dangling from his fingers, watching as you walk toward the front door. “That was quite an exit,” he remarks, voice deceptively light.
When you don’t respond, he follows, only to find himself suddenly lifting you off the ground. Caleb has scooped you up in one fluid motion, tossing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“So, you’re feeling destructive today?” he asks, a dangerous playfulness in his tone. “That’s some way to treat my baby.”
His grip tightens slightly as he navigates through the doorway. “I think someone needs to learn how to treat valuable things with care,” he murmurs against your ear. “I think I know exactly how to make sure you remember to be gentle with my things. Starting with a lesson about handling my possessions.”
This was funnier in my head 😭
#∞Mission Report.#∞Full Orbit.#∞Mindwaves.#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#l&ds#loveanddeepspace#xavier#zayne#rafayel#sylus#caleb#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads sylus#lads caleb#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace caleb
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my babyyyy! 😣 look at him sulking and pouting😭🤍
full credit to artist: @fishbone0306 on X!
#love and deepspace#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#xavier x mc#lnds xavier#xavier lads#lads mc#lads sylus#xavier x reader#l&ds xavier#xavier fluff#shen xinghui#lads seiya
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⋆. 𐙚 ̊ jealous boys — love and deepspace
including. zayne, xavier, rafayel, sylus, caleb
warnings. fem! reader, possessive tendencies, jealous boys, toxic, fingering, oral (male! receiving), oral (fem! receiving), good girl used, spit kink, mirror syx, this is so filthy lmao (especially sylus part)

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ zayne
zayne usually doesn't get angry when he's feeling the sudden dash of jealousy crush down on him— he gets calm, in fact, terrifyingly so.
not to mention that the moment he has you all to himself again he's fast on latching onto you with your back now hitting the wall with one of his hands by your head, the other already between your legs, skimming the flesh of your inner thigh with his cold knuckles, memorizing the place where your leg connects to your privates before you can react nor do something.
zayne doesn't say anything to you yet, instead his lips brush against yours once— soft and misleading before he bites down, hard, and before you knew it, your surprised gasp gave him permission for his tongue to fill your mouth like a sin made of salt and heat, in accessory to his fingers stroking your pussy so unbelievably dirty and cruel.
"you smiled at him, i saw it," he whispers against your lips, rubbing your folds as you make a blissful face, "what did he do to earn that?" zayne presses his fingers deeper between your legs as he watches you grind against them, jaw slacked in awe as you coat him with your slick.
"you know, i could fuck you right here," his voice drops, thick with restraint, "perhaps even in front of him, so he knows who you belong to," as his mouth descends again, this time trailing along your jaw, your neck and your collarbone as his sharp teeth tease the flesh with his fingers hooking into your doused panties.
"fuck, you're dripping baby, what are we gonna do about that, huh?" he hisses, his dangerous gaze on you practically glowing in the dark as he taunts your bare pussy like the way you've been making him jealous tonight.
"you like being fought over, don’t you?"
he licks the skin over your pulse before dipping a finger into your tight hole, slowly, menacing, your slick weeping out of your pussy with the slightest pressure, your hole parting for him ever so obediently— and zayne swears he saw the prettiest kind of stars behind your eyes when he slides another finger inside you, curling and owning your cunt, making your stomach turn weightless.
yet the kiss that follows next turned brutal with teeth and spit and groans as if he's feeding off you, imbedding all of his frustration into your frame as if your mouth was the only thing roping him to sanity.
"don't you ever do this again."
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ xavier
before he even touches you, xavier's trembling— and without a doubt, you've said another man's name, and he's heard it, undoubtedly picked up on how you spelled it out.
so when he kisses you for the first time that night— it wasn't near anything sweet, beyond that was it unraveling, lips trembling and tongue somewhat clumsy and anxious, yet he remained deeply passionate, although wrecked, a moan building into every breath when he slants down one of his hands to squeeze your ass and part your thighs.
"who were you talking to? hm?" he whispers into your mouth before grinding down his groin against your clit, and then, again, more brokenness adds to his confused tone, "do you love me?" and when he says it, he lines himself up with your hole, and the feel of your pussy immediately squeezing and convulsing and claiming his dripping dick was enough to make him wince out your name.
his hips grind into yours harder and more despairing, "i need you," he sobs into your neck as you're feeling him rock himself thick and heavy inside your walls, "you can't leave me, you cannot."
his hands shake as they slide up your tits and at the same time, his mouth became frantic— tongue swallowing yours and teeth clacking, it's gotten so messy that spit began dripping down your chin when you moan his name into the kiss, fingers tangling in his hair and then he breaks— kissing you like he's dying, pounding you down like he's attempting to carve himself into your bones.
"say you're mine, come on," he begs you, his voice decaying into something crushing, velvet and low, the kind of softness that only existed in darkened bedrooms and godless prayers, "even if it's a lie baby, just tonight, say it, please."
and when you do— he sloppily sobs into your mouth with his hips stuttering within a deep thrust, swiftly lifting your legs onto his shoulders and holding onto them with ease as he continues to buck into you, never gentle, only desperate.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ rafayel
in all aspects, rafayel's jealousy was much quieter than you originally thought it would be— as well as colder in a way which made your skin crawl.
you see, he doesn't shout at you, no— he seethes, and when he touches you, it's never rushed, instead it's intentional, dangerous, like he's punishing you with refusing to give you pleasure.
he crushes you against the mirror like he's trying to make you witness your own undoing, the glass beginning to fog and blur as he fucks your thighs— and with that, you see the curve of your mouth as it falls open, the helpless arch of your spine and behind you, his very eyes— half-lidded, ravenous, like he's not just watching but branding the image into eternity.
your reflection became a witness, a confessional, every noise you were making and every beg for him had to enter his mind fully— those desperate, broken sounds— etched into silver and silence as rafayel wasn't giving you what you wanted this time, his mind circling endlessly in shameful memory as he fucks his erection into the plush of your thighs, never once actually pressing inside your warm cunt to feel inside.
his mouth hovers over your neck before he bites down on it, "you touched his arm," he whispers, but it's not sweet, no, not reminding you of the rafayel you called your boyfriend— it's venom in silk, low and coaxing, the kind of voice that wrapped around your throat while pretending to cradle it, "do you want me to break it?"
then his tongue slides against your neck— long, smooth, calculated as his kiss was equal to liquid sin, measured in chaos before his hands cup the plush of your ass to spread you and finally press into your soaked cunt, balls deep like he's sculpting you into the shape of his length.
yet the man doesn’t grunt, he hums instead, like he's tasting expensive wine and it's in the way his eyes half-close from listening to your moans dragging low from your throat— like the feeling of you milking him was intoxicating enough to unmake his jealousy.
“tell me what he has that I don't," he drawls, teeth grazing your shoulder, "and i'll take it from him," as he bites down hard enough for your flesh to almost bleed before kissing the pulsing spot, dragging his erection till you felt hot and bred in your stomach, his hips making sinful smack, smack, smacks as your body tenses by itself.
you spell out his name, but it somehow felt even dirtier when you moan in, messier than before when you cry it out as he fucks you with a ferocity that knocks the air from your lungs.
"good girl," he purrs, happy with you, "now let me hear you scream."
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ sylus
mouth wide, tongue deep, with hands rough around sylus's length as he yanks your head deeper into his lap like he's afraid someone will tear your pretty, hot mouth away. fuck, how much he adored seeing you in such position, between his thighs, gurgling on his dick and watching him from under your doused lashes.
"mine," he snarls from above, fingers intertwined in your hair as he helps you bob your head up n down up n down, "all mine."
your mouth sealed around his cock felt like a wildfire to him— smoking hot, a destruction only you could imbed on him— and sometimes it scared him, how much power you held for him to become so riled up when seeing you with another person.
your tongue circles around his cockhead and doesn't ask for permission to go faster, your mouth claiming the moans you sought after instead— and it seizes sylus, truly it bruises him and fuck, if he sees you with this man again, he cannot promise himself to hold back.
thick and flushed, his cock twitches in your mouth and presses right against your throat, aching when you moan against his girth, spit bubbling from your lips and clinging onto his skin when he lifts his hips up to thrust into your wet warmth, gripping the couch underneath him for balance.
it's all so messy and wet, and you loved it— drooling all over his dick and taking the punishment like a good girl, gurgling and sucking and slurping it all up as sylus could barely catch his breath, heaving from the exhilarating desire you imposed on him.
the tension coiled on his body— tight, ravenous— a mounting pressure that climbed like a hymn chanted through gritted teeth, blistering toward something supernatural as you look up at him again, tear stricken eyes and wet mouth sucking him oh so well.
it’s not release that he needed, no, or not yet at least, but the unbearable promise of it, the kind of high that felt less like pleasure and more like divine punishment delivered through trembling flesh, and when you hum around him at last, sylus can almost forget his jealousy there.
for a moment he stops you as his hand silently wraps around your throat, thumb dragging down your swollen, bottom lip so he can spit into your mouth— messily, filthy and possessive, he needs this, okay?
because sylus still found himself agonizingly mad.
"did he make you blush like this?" he mocks you from above, slanting down and licking into your mouth, "did he get you this wet?" as he moves his foot between your legs to rub his shoe against your wet cunt, the scent of your arousal whirling up to touch his nostrils.
his other hand grabs your head, pulling you down again while simultaneously grinding his foot against your pussy— fuck, you're so soaked it's audible, so embarrassingly obscene he could very well applaud himself for this.
and he groans, a sound pulled from his chest like agony when you take him inside your mouth again.
"you drive me insane," he pants, leaning his head back, "you should be locked away, kept for my eyes only."
he doesn't stop moving you off his cock, not once, your lips moving and working, your tongue claiming him until your knees ached and your pussy came all over his shoe, your chin sticky with cum and saliva and filth, eyebrows pulled together in concentration as he watches you fuck his cock with your throat.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ caleb
caleb spells out your name like it's a curse he never wanted to learn in the first place, and it kind of scared you a bit— teeth gritted and breathing harsh with his lips crashing into yours mid-sentence, bruising and unrelenting, his tongue pushing past yours like he's forcing himself inside— no space nor time for air, no room for a single thought, for denial.
his head moves between your thighs without restrain and now he feels you unravel in shivers and moans as the soft slap of his tongue on your pussy caught you off guard together with his palms cupping your breasts, his wet muscle lapping against your folds as they part for him obediently, licking between your cunt with sounds of slick noises echoing through the bedroom.
"you let him touch you? didn't you?" he rasps into your cunt, nosing your clit to take in your scent as he groans out filthily, his eyes lurching back into the hollow of his skull, not just in pleasure but in delirium— as if the taste of your pussy was something his body cannot withhold, "you think i didn't see it?"
he thrusts his tongue against you deeper, his cock hard and angry grinding into the mattress like he's punishing himself for letting anyone else near you, "i'll fucking ruin you for this," he growls, voice breaking, "with my fingers, my mouth, my cock— hell, over and over until you break,"
you moan when he lets you hear just how wet he's made you as he's slurping at you with insane hunger, his tongue ravishing your cunt and poking your hole over and over before dragging it up to lick between your folds again, collecting your slick on his lips an chin.
"is this for me? or for him?" tauntingly, Caleb never stopped playing with your pussy to hear a coherent answer form you, because you see, he already knows what you were about to say and he'll make you know as well, who you belong to.

©2025 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
#love and deep space x reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deep space smut#love and deepspace smut#lads smut#lads x reader#rafayel smut#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#sylus smut#Caleb x reader#caleb smut#xavier x reader#xavier smut#zayne x reader#zayne smut#love and deepspace x you
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✨ Xavier |❄️Zayne |🎨Rafayel |🐦⬛Sylus |🍎Caleb
Dad!Xavier falls asleep all the time on the play mats during tummy time. You have a lot of pictures of the two of them snoozing together, Xavier’s hand on the baby’s back to keep them safe.
Dad!Xavier can and will eat the baby’s food out of curiosity. I mean, it’s right there and he wants to know what the baby is eating. They like this weird peas and carrots mixture so it has to taste good, right? You’ve also definitely caught him stealing the baby’s unfinished cheerios.
Dad!Xavier likes to take the baby outside and sit with them under the stars. He loves the way the stars reflect in their eyes. He'll teach them about them when the baby is older.
Dad!Xavier always manages to put the baby down for bed easier than you do. You don’t know how he does it but they could be crying up a storm in your arms and the second he takes them, they’re out like a light. It always makes him smile.
Dad!Xavier spends hours in the rocking chair. He likes to hold the baby against his chest and just rock for hours. You’ve found them asleep like that.
Dad!Xavier likes to lay on the ground with the baby and just listen to them babble. He adds an encouraging word here or there but he just loves the sound of their voice. The baby loves the sound of his voice too, especially for bedtime stories.
Dad!Xavier sometimes gets a little jealous of the baby. He knows it’s silly but the baby has all your attention and he misses you sometimes. He mitigates this by stealing your attention while the baby is asleep.
Dad!Xavier is NOT a good cook. You still cook for the most part but he steps up by cleaning more. It’s not perfect since a child tends to cause a whirlwind of mess but you both try and that’s all you can really ask for from each other when you’re raising a baby.
#lads#lads headcanons#lads headcanon#Minataur writes#lads imagine#Love and deepspace#Love and deep space#lads fanfic#lads fanfiction#loveanddeepspace#l&ds#lnds#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#lnds xavier#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#xavier x reader
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Gimme Kiss
You kiss him and then wipe it off

Zayne was about to leave for work when he kissed your forehead and you wiped it off. He stood there in confusion. Why would you do that?
“Im leaving for work.” He says slowly, his eyes not leaving your figure. “Okay! Have a great day, love you.” You kiss his lips only to wipe it off again.
The stare he gave you could put you in the hospital. He kissed your forehead again to which you wiped it off in disgust. You wiped your hands on your pants after as well. He just stared at you blankly, he doesn’t have time for this nor does he enjoy this.
The room felt icy as you look at your husband whose evol is 2 seconds from taking you out. You jump at his icy stare before rushing over to him and peppering him in kisses. He sighs in content his eyes fluttering shut as he finally places a sweet kiss on your lips.
“Have a good day!” You smile nervously as you fix his tie.
That’s what he thought.

You kissed him softly and stepped back to wipe it off. He tilted his head in confusion. Why are you wiping away his kiss? Did his breath stink? Did he stink?
“Why are you doing that?” He asks genuinely. He breathes into his hand sniffing it. He just brushed his teeth what was the issue?
“Doing what?” You ask genuinely confused as you put hand sanitizer on. You went to walk away before you were pulled back by his evol. He’s immediately peppering you in kisses every time you wipe it off. You are basically being suffocated in wet kisses, you think you might even drown.
“If you wipe it off again I’ll do worse.” He threatens as he’s dipping you. You were surely getting a core workout in this position. Your whiny tone breaks through his muffled kisses, “It’s wet!”
You unconsciously wipe off the wet kisses making you freeze. Do you know what you got in return? He licked your whole cheek like a damn dog. You were so frozen in disgust you didn’t even notice he kissed your lips and left for work.
You were never doing that again.
You placed a kiss on his lips before his meeting. He smiled softly at you which was immediately wiped off his face when you did what you did. You wiped your lips harshly before turning to walk away. His evol engulfs you as he pulls you back to him. He kisses you passionately leaving you dizzy.
“Now, try wiping that off.” His rich laugh filling the hallway before he places on last kiss on the crown of your head.
You were so dazed that you could barely register what he said. You were stuck in the hallway wondering what went wrong with your prank.

You wiped off about 12 kisses at this point and if you thought that was stopping this bunny you were wrong. Every single one you wiped he replaced. Not an ounce of annoyance from his side. It was just this intense stare waiting for you to wipe it off again.
“Xavier please.” You begged sternly but he refused to stop if you were just going to cancel it out. You were more surprised at how relentless he was. Usually people left someone alone if the problem kept occurring but not Xavier.
“Then stop wiping it off.” He countered and in the end he won because he pinned you down so you wouldn’t wipe it off again. As revenge he drowned you in kisses.

He’s dramatic so when you did it the second time he assumed you hated him. He got on his hands and knees and gagged and dry heaved. You just stared at him with wide eyes. There was no way he was doing this right now.
“She hates me! She wants me to die!” He mumbled to himself making him look crazy.
What fixed it? Kissing him correctly only to end with him kissing you over 800 times. A bit of an exaggeration? Perhaps but your face felt like it was burning at this point.
“Rafayel, enough!” You yelled but that didn’t stop that fish from kissing you anywhere else.
You asked, I delivered 🤍
#lads#lnds#l&ds#rafayel x reader#caleb x reader#lads zayne x reader#zayne x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace x reader#xavier love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#love & deepspace#love and deep space xavier#love and deep space#love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace caleb#lads x you#lnds x you#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#l&ds x you#pookie n’ lads °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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PAIRINGS. . . xavier, caleb, sylus, zayne, rafayel x reader
CW. . . wearing pheromone perfume around them for the first time.

CALEB
caleb went still the second he hugged you, like he’d just gotten hit with something intoxicating. he pulled back just a little, blinking at you, then leaned in again, burying his face in your neck.
“holy sh—pips,” he groaned dramatically, arms wrapping tighter around your waist. “you smell like heaven and sin had a baby.”
you burst out laughing. “you’re so dramatic.”
he just nuzzled you again, lips brushing the sensitive skin beneath your ear. “i’m serious. i want to crawl under your skin right now.”
you swatted at his arm, flustered. “it’s just perfume!”
“whatever it is, it’s a problem.” he kissed your jaw, then lower. “'cause now i wanna kiss you for, like, three hours straight. minimum.”
RAFAYEL
he was painting—focused, shirtless, streaks of color on his arms—when you crept up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist.
he stilled.
then he turned his head slightly, inhaling, like a wolf catching a scent in the wind.
“did you just cast a spell on me?”
you bite back a smile as he ducked down, nosing along your neck, groaning softly. he slinged an arm around your waist pressing you to his side.
“delicious. is that new?”
you just smirked. “wouldn’t you like to know.”
he laughed under his breath, mouth finding your neck, your shoulder, wherever he could get. “if you wore this to mess with me, it’s working. i want to paint you now. naked, preferably.”
SYLUS
you barely walked past him before sylus turned his head, eyes narrowing like he just picked up on something forbidden.
he stepped closer, towering over you, his hand curling gently under your chin. “...you smell dangerous,” he said lowly, his voice already laced with heat.
he tilted your head up, heart fluttering as he leaned in, his mouth brushing against the back of your ear. he moved lower, lips grazing your neck, then the space just under your jaw.
“what is that scent?” he murmured, like it was bothering him. like it was consuming him.
“do you like it?”
he huffed a soft laugh against your skin, kissing your throat like he was losing control. “you’re not allowed to wear it around anyone but me. understood?”
XAVIER
you slipped under the covers beside him, thinking he was asleep. he wasn’t.
the second your body curled into his, his arm came around your waist, slow and sure. he inhaled once, then again.
“…what is that?” he muttered, voice rough with sleep. he buried his face in your neck without waiting for an answer.
you giggled and his arm only tightens around you.
“not funny,” he mumbled, lips brushing your throat. “you smell like trouble.”
“you’re imagining things.”
“i’m not.” he kissed your collarbone, again and again, slower. “we’re not leaving this bed today.”
ZAYNE
you stepped into zayne’s office for your monthly check-up, but the second you approached his desk, he looked up like you’d just walked in wearing nothing but your birthday suit.
before you could sit at your usual chair, his hand found your wrist and guided you into his lap instead.
he didn’t say anything, just leaned in and breathed you in like he needed the scent to live.
“…what did you put on?” he asked, lips brushing the underside of your jaw. “you’ve never smelled like this before.”
you pretended to play dumb. “what do you mean?”
he exhaled a low chuckle, his voice raspier than usual. “don’t play with me. this—this is lethal.”
then he kissed your neck, slow and open mouthed. “fuck, you’re gonna get me fired.”
#love and deepspace#lads#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#lads caleb#lads xavier#sylus lads#zayne lads#lads rafayel#caleb x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#lads smut#love and deepspace smut#lads fluff#love and deepspace fluff
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lapdog.
synopsis — sitting (and grinding) on the l&ds boys laps.
warnings — nsfw content mdni please or i will steal ur kneecaps, afab!reader, teasing, all of the boys have big dicks, grinding down on said big dicks, a mixture of dom! and sub!lnds, kinda dubcon(?) in rafayel's, slight exhibitionism in caleb's, panty-eating in caleb's. i might've missed smt rarara lmk if i did !
featuring — xavier, zayne, rafayel, sylus, & caleb (separate fics)
notes — AND WE ALL CHEERED!!! happy sylus birthday week to those who celebrate!!!! this may be an ot5 fic but consider this my early gift for all my sylus girlies out there <33 i sincerely pray that whoever reads this (and reblogs this... hehe...) will pull sylus in just one ten-pull. AMEN!!!
Xavier doesn't give away that he was already losing half of his brain cells. After a week of fighting Wanderers in a faraway No-Hunt Zone, he earned himself a well-deserved break from work, to which he then chooses to utilize that break to cuddle up with you. As for the cuddles mentioned, though – you think it'll probably be a while before you can even get to that part.
Xavier's face remained neutral, contrasting the growing bulge in his pants. You shifted your ass against his hardness, to which his fingers tightened their grip around your hips. The delicious friction should've been enough to break your boyfriend from his almost nonchalant exterior, but he remained calm anyway.
You turned to face your boyfriend when his breathing started to sound heavy against your back. You innocently batted your eyelashes up at his disheveled state. "You okay, Xav?" you cooed, running a hand through his soft hair.
Xavier's scowl deepened. Without speaking, he pushed his hips up against you, his length basically outlining your pussy. He breathed into your ear and bit your earlobe, sending shivers down your spine.
Zayne naively thought you weren't doing it on purpose at first. He gulped when you shifted yourself on his lap until you were directly sitting on his crotch, where he was slowly growing hard. Surely, with the size growing underneath his boxers, you'd finally notice his predicament. But you were still diligently watching to the TV show in front of you, leaving him basically dry heaving against you.
His nervous habit of shaking his leg only came to bite him in the back when you basically began bouncing on his lap, your weight on top of him adding to the already intense pleasure. He bit his lip to hold back his gasp, resting his forehead against your back. You giggled when you felt the ghost of his lips against your spine, where he left a trail of soft kisses on your skin.
"That tickles, Zayne." you reprimanded without any trace of malice in your tone. He shivered when you arched your back, backing your ass up slowly but surely against his hard length.
"Please," Zayne gasped, his grip on your hips tightening and loosening in a ragged pattern, "H-have mercy on me..."
Rafayel could barely contain the moan that erupted out of his mouth. He had insisted on perching you on his lap while he added finishing touches to the painting he was working on, but now he was seriously reconsidering it with the way you sat directly on top of his crotch.
His grip on his paintbrush loosened, nearly falling to the ground when you leaned closer to his canvas, arching your back and grinding your barely-covered ass against him. Rafayel haphazardly put the brush down, his hands instead gripping each side of your waist. He didn't know what to do with your body on top of him, undecided whether or not he wants you to continue or to stop.
"A-ah! S-shit cutie, you need t-to stop..." he whined, but the way he was grinding back up at you said otherwise. You hummed, savoring the way his clothed length felt against your pussy.
"I'm not sure what you want me to do, baby," you teased quietly, grabbing his hands to steady yourself on his lap, "You want me to stop, yet you're basically humping me." Rafayel whined even louder, his breaths coming up short and unsteady against your warmth.
Sylus should've been used to it by now, given the amount of times he'd pulled you onto his lap on various occasions. But now, he's barely paying attention to the film playing on his big screen TV, his focus zeroing in on your hips and ass grinding against his lap. He tilted his head back and sighed to the ceiling, feeling blessed and cursed at the same time.
"F-fuck. Kitten, I know what you're doing," Sylus muttered through gritted teeth, one hand gripping your waist while the other on the throw pillow beside him. You ignored his weak warnings, almost bouncing now on his clothed hardness with a wicked smile.
You hummed, pleasantly amused at your boyfriend's growing arousal, "Hhaah... I don't– I dunno what you're talking about..." you sighed, guiding his hand from your waist to the top of your thigh. His other hand transferred to gripping your other thigh, to which he thrusted his hips outwards involuntarily.
You nearly keeled over as your clit grazed against the fabric of his silk pants. Sylus moaned alongside you, overwhelmed with desire to just bend you over and have his way with you.
Caleb could only gulp as he tried to make sense of the online meeting he was having on his monitor. He was lucky that he didn't need to have his webcam on at all times during his meetings with the fleet, to which he would use this opportunity to catch up on cuddles with you and have you by his side during these droning sessions.
And as much as Caleb finds these meetings boring, you find them boring also. But you're forced to stick to his side through his work-at-home hours, just so he could kill two birds with one stone: getting his work done for the day while still being able to spend time with you.
"Oh-hoo god, a-am I muted?!" Caleb whispered furiously against your hair, your hips speeding against his crotch. His hands hadn't stopped exploring your body, touching and groping all that he could so he could calm himself down. You didn't respond, opting instead to focus on Caleb's hard length against your ass.
"Fuuuuuck, b-baby–" Caleb was cut off as something red was shoved into his mouth. His tongue ran over the object, his loud moan muffled against it when he realized you just shoved your panties into his mouth.
#sylus smut#zayne smut#xavier smut#rafayel smut#caleb smut#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#caleb x reader#sylus x you#zayne x you#xavier x you#rafayel x you#caleb x you#lads smut#lnds smut#l&ds smut#love and deepspace#lili writes 💋
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Example number one: Smart kid with quick thinking
Example number two: Thought of the short-term goals without considering future consequences... Don't let Xavier near the stove...
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Get out!
Pairings: Lads men x afab!reader part 1
Summary: Your 4 year old child, is fighting with their dad over you.
Check out My masterlist to read more dad!lads
Tag: @teewritessmth @animegamerfox @mimiu3usoft
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Zayne

Life with Dr. Zayne was always interesting, to say the least. As a renowned cardiac surgeon, your husband was the epitome of composure—calm under pressure, precise in everything he did, and a man of very few words. He wasn’t cold, not at all, but he had never been particularly good at expressing himself.
Neither was your four-year-old son, Elias.
Where other children were loud and expressive, Elias was quiet—watchful and reserved, much like his father. He rarely spoke in full sentences, preferring nods, small gestures, or simple actions to communicate his wants, And right now?
Right now, you were caught in the middle of a silent battle between the two.
Zayne, sitting on the couch beside you, reached out and lightly held your wrist, his way of silently reminding you that you were his wife first.
Elias, seated on your other side, scooted closer, grabbing your other hand and clutching it tightly.
Neither said a word.
You blinked between them, feeling the tension thickening. “Okay,” you sighed, rubbing your temple. “What is happening?”
Elias glanced at Zayne. Zayne met his son’s stare with an impassive gaze, sharp blue eyes unreadable.
It was an unspoken showdown.
Elias would get his Mama time.
Zayne would not be overthrown.
You would lose your mind.
“Zayne,” you exhaled, “you’ve been with me all day. Let Elias have some time.”
Zayne blinked. “I was at the hospital for fourteen hours.”
You frowned. “Okay, but before that—”
“I was sleeping.”
Elias suddenly gave you a tiny tug. See? He was saying. It’s my turn.
You sighed. “Alright, how about—”
But before you could finish, Elias abruptly stood up. His little hands patted Zayne’s knee—a quiet gesture.
Zayne raised a brow.
“…What?”
Elias pointed toward the kitchen. “Water.”
Zayne’s brows furrowed slightly, but after a moment, he stood up and headed toward the kitchen. “Alright,” he said simply.
The moment he was out of the room, Elias moved fast.
With a determined expression, he bolted toward the door, slammed it shut, and—click!
He locked it.
You stared in shock.
Elias calmly walked back over to you, climbed onto your lap, and curled into you like nothing had happened.
You heard a soft thud from the other side of the door.
“…Elias.” Zayne’s composed voice sounded from the hall. “Unlock the door.”
Silence.
“Elias.”
Your son nuzzled into your chest, looking completely content.
You pressed a hand over your mouth, trying so hard not to laugh. “Elias,” you whispered, “that wasn’t very nice.”
Elias clung to you tighter.
“…I want Mama.”
You felt your heart melt a little.
A sigh came from behind the door. “Elias.”
Elias was completely unbothered.
“Elias,” Zayne repeated. “This is not how you solve problems.”
Elias blinked up at you, then whispered softly, “Worked.”
You snorted.
Zayne was silent for a long moment.
Then, he sighed. “Understood.”
Footsteps.
“…I’ll be in my office.”
Elias waited until the sound disappeared, then finally looked up at you, victorious.
You ruffled his dark hair. “You’re a menace, you know that?”
Elias nestled into you. “Mm.”
But you knew what that meant.
It was worth it.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Xavier

The twins were on a mission.
A very important mission. A mission that required stealth, patience, and strategy.
Objective: Get rid of Dad. Target: Xavier, high-ranked Hunter of the Hunter Association—a man feared and respected by his colleagues, and annoying to his four-year-old twins, Leo and Livia.
Why?
Because he was hogging their Mama.
Xavier, for all his reputation as a ruthless Wanderer hunter, was easygoing at home. Most of the time, he lounged on the couch, half-asleep, draped over you like a human-sized cat. The whole reason he did not quit his job was because he had you at the morning aswell, when you two left the house for work.
And the twins hated it.
“Mama should be ours,” Leo whispered to his sister as they peeked from behind the couch.
Livia nodded, her greenish-blue eyes gleaming with determination. “Dad needs to go.”
The two of them turned their heads, staring at the problem.
Xavier was sitting lazily on the couch, one arm wrapped around you, face buried in your shoulder, half-asleep as usual.
You were used to it by now. Your jealous of himself, touch-starved, sleepy husband clinging to you whenever he had a break? Completely normal.
But to the twins? Unacceptable.
Phase One: Distraction.
Livia moved first. She scurried forward, grabbing your hands. “Mama, I want hugs!”
Xavier lazily cracked an eye open. His grip tightened slightly.
“I’m hugging them right now,” he murmured.
Livia pouted. “Yeah, but I want my own.”
Xavier blinked slowly, looking half a second away from falling asleep again. “…I don’t see why we can’t share.”
Leo gave his sister a look. Plan A failed. Time for Plan B.
Phase Two: Use Dad’s Weakness Against Him.
Livia stepped forward, pulling on Xavier’s sleeve. “Dad.”
Xavier yawned, rubbing his eye. “Mm?”
“Mom’s hungry.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait, no, I’m not—”
Xavier immediately sat up. “You should’ve said something earlier.”
Leo stayed perfectly calm. “You should cook dad. we all love it.”
Xavier stared at his son, silent for a long moment.
“…I should cook?”
Livia nodded furiously, her expression full of fake innocence. “Yeah, Mama loves when you cook! We love it too!”
You coughed, trying very hard not to laugh. That was a lie. The last time he cooked for the twins, a plate accidentally fell off the table and broke, and the food on the other plate mysteriously disappeared.
Xavier sucked at cooking.
Like, horribly.
The last time he cooked, he had somehow burned water. if that wasn't bad enough, he had melted the plastic off of pans you owned.
But, in his half-asleep state, he nodded. “Alright,” he muttered, standing up sluggishly. “I’ll make something.”
Mission Success.
As soon as Xavier disappeared into the kitchen, the twins latched onto you like leeches.
“Mamaaaa,” Livia whined, burying her face into your chest. “You were with Dad all day.”
Leo nodded seriously. “Unfair.”
You chuckled, ruffling their messy blond hair. “You two are too much.”
“Mama, I want all your hugs,” Livia grumbled.
“Me too,” Leo added.
You sighed, shaking your head. “You two are just like your dad.”
Just as the twins were about to settle in, the sound of something exploding came from the kitchen.
All three of you froze.
A moment later, Xavier walked back in, completely unfazed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“…I think I used the wrong burner.”
Leo and Livia groaned.
Mission Status: Failure.
I hope yall enjoyed this, I will write similar things to this in the future :)
#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#xavier x reader#xavier x you#lnds xavier#lnds x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x y/n#lnds zayne#lads x you#lads x reader#zayne x you#lads xavier#lads zayne
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Please please please 🥺🥺🥺..uour rafayel links were so good! It was just perfectly him! The aesthteics the vibe.. omgh.. *faints*
Pls can we have more when you're free👉👈
~ Love&Deepspace
pls don’t read this if you don’t like porn links please know that the characters are up to age meaning they are either adults or teen ages 18-19
~ Caleb
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~ 𝙓𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙧
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~ 𝙕𝙖𝙮𝙣𝙚
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~ 𝙍𝙖𝙛𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙡
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~ 𝙎𝙮𝙡𝙪𝙨
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#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace links#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#caleb x reader
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❄️Zayne - Seven Years Later
The fourth in a series of stories exploring MC’s return after five years of silence. Others are coming soon — links will be added as they’re published.
⚠️ Important
This story is different. It’s for adults — not just because it contains an intimate scene, but because it deals in gray morality, layers, and choices that aren’t clean or easy. There are no clear heroes here, no black-and-white answers, no simple characters to love or hate. It hits hard. I’m more than aware this won’t be for everyone — and it’s definitely not a light bedtime read. Please take a moment to read the CW/TW carefully before diving in. Proceed at your own risk. The structure might feel a little odd at the beginning — I may have gone overboard, and Tumblr wouldn't let me post it with that many paragraphs, so I had to compress things a bit.
Original ask that sparked this continuation.
Sylus | Rafayel | Caleb | Xavier (coming soon)
CW/TW: emotional trauma, unresolved grief, morally gray relationships, abandonment, guilt, forgiveness, explicit sexual content (consensual, emotionally intense), medical trauma, physical injury, parental estrangement, bio-child created without consent through stored genetic material, complex mother-daughter dynamics, identity crisis, ambiguous morality.
Pairing: Zayne x ex-lover!you Genre: Cold-burn angst, medical intimacy, slow unthawing, grief-forged love, second chances carved from ruin. Summary: Seven years ago, you left without a word. Now, in a snowbound mountain town, fate hands you a child with your eyes, a man with your pulse, and a wound that never really healed. What begins with a lost glove and an impossible resemblance ends in a cabin, a scar, and the kind of truth that doesn’t ask for forgiveness — only a place to stay. Word Count: 16K
Snowcrest
You hadn’t meant to stay this long.
The wind is starting to pick up, curling around your ankles, stealing the warmth from your coat sleeves. The sun has dipped just behind the ridge, casting a deep, bruised blue across the snowbanks. Below, the valley falls away into a soft blur of pine and frost. Somewhere down there is the road you took seven years ago. Somewhere down there is the part of yourself you buried like contraband.
You cradle the paper cup tighter in your hands, now lukewarm. A snowflake melts against your knuckle.
Behind you, the wooden rail of the overlook creaks gently, just once. You don’t turn. Not at first.
“Your eyes,” a small voice says beside you, bright and matter-of-fact, “look like my mommy’s.”
You glance down. A girl — maybe five, maybe six — stands a few feet away, all pink puff and wool layers. Her beanie is lopsided, a ridiculous pompom tilting to one side. Her cheeks are wind-bitten, her boots dusted white.
“Do they?” you say.
She nods seriously, then frowns a little. “But you’re not her. Mommy’s not here. I came with my dad.”
“Where is your dad?”
“He went to get hot chocolate. I wanted to see the mountains first.” She says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Her mittens are too big. One slips halfway off as she points toward the café.
You smile, soft and automatic. “You shouldn’t wander off. He might get worried.”
She considers this. Then, very formally, she reaches out and takes your hand.
“Okay. Let’s go find him.”
The café’s windows glow faintly, gold against the evening blue. The inside is all timber and condensation, the kind of place that always smells like cinnamon and wet gloves. You push open the door with your shoulder, usher her in.
He’s there.
You see him before he sees you. A tall figure in a charcoal coat, leaning casually near the counter, one gloved hand curled around a paper cup. His posture is the same. That impossible stillness, like he’s already factored every variable in the room. Like he’s never been caught off guard in his life.
And then he turns.
The girl drops your hand without hesitation and runs to him, shouting, “Daddy! I found a friend! She has eyes like Mommy’s!”
He bends to meet her. His hand cups the back of her head automatically, instinctively. Not roughly, not tenderly either — just with a kind of understated precision, the way he does everything.
You stand frozen. Your lungs forget what to do. Your spine loses temperature.
Zayne looks at you. The moment lingers exactly three seconds too long.
Then he nods, once, like a man seeing a stranger on the street who looks faintly familiar.
“Thank you for helping her,” he says. His voice hasn’t changed. Smooth. Controlled. Every syllable clipped clean.
You open your mouth. Only a whisper makes it out.
“She was alone. I thought — her parents might be worried.”
He inclines his head. “I wasn’t. She doesn’t wander far.”
He reaches for the girl’s hand. She looks between you and him, confused but not frightened. Her chocolate sloshes slightly in his free hand.
You stand there, a full seven years collapsing in on themselves. Every hour, every unanswered question, every night you thought about him without letting yourself say his name. All of it rushes into the hollow space behind your ribs.
Zayne doesn’t blink. Doesn’t flinch.
“Come on,” he tells the girl. “Let’s go watch the lights come in.”
And just like that, he walks past you. No hesitation. No second glance.
The door opens, and the wind catches it. Then it shuts behind them, clean as a scalpel stroke.
And you are left inside the warmth, holding nothing.
You don’t remember walking to the hotel bar. Only the sound of your boots on packed snow. The burn in your calves from the climb. The hum of your own name, suddenly useless, echoing somewhere deep inside you.
Now you sit at the far end of the counter, coat still on, fingers red from the cold. The bartender, young and quiet, gives you a look like he’s seen people run from more than just the wind.
You nod at your glass. He refills it without a word.
It’s your fourth. Maybe third. You’ve lost count, and the fact that you’ve lost count is the first real mercy of the night.
You lift it again. Swallow it in one breath.
The heat climbs slow, low. No sting. No flinch. It settles into your chest like a bruise, not a balm.
And still — your hands don’t shake. You keep seeing her face. The girl. Her eyes. Her eyes. Your eyes.
No, that’s impossible. That’s sentimental. That’s the kind of thing people like to believe when they’ve been drinking and when the sky outside is layered in violet and black and stars. That’s not Zayne.
But then again, you saw him.
And there was something about the way he touched her head, about how precisely he measured the moment, how quietly he acknowledged you with nothing but the edge of a nod — as if you were just another polite inconvenience to be managed.
You could’ve handled anger. Recrimination. Accusation.
But that? That… undid something.
You drink again.
The math won’t leave you alone. You’re not even trying to calculate, but your mind does it anyway. That same brutal, automatic clarity you once hated in him — now taking over you like second skin.
She’s almost six. Nearly. Maybe five and a half.
You do the subtraction. You try not to think about it. You fail.
He hadn’t hesitated — as if he’d been waiting for you to leave all along. That’s the thought that lands first. Loud. Stupid. Petty. But there.
You picture her mother. Not a fantasy — a memory. The woman you once saw with him. She looked like she belonged beside him. Like she understood him without needing to try. Smarter. Softer. Prettier than you ever were.
You’ve never been beautiful the way he liked beautiful things. His apartment always looked like a magazine. His meals — artful. His shelves — symmetrical. You always felt like a crooked painting on a perfect wall.
Maybe you never belonged there. Maybe he figured that out too.
You press your fingers to the side of your glass and drum lightly. The bartender glances over. You don’t even have to speak. When he brings the next pour, you cradle it a little longer. Let it rest in your palm like something you’re trying to keep alive.
You told yourself, back then, that leaving was the right thing. That it would give him freedom, space, a life not tethered to your mess.
You left so he could be happy.
And now, with the living proof of that happiness having just skipped across the room into his arms —
Why does it feel like your ribs are folding in on themselves? Why does it feel like punishment?
You tip the glass back again. The burn now feels right. Like penance.
Somewhere behind you, a group of tourists laughs. Glasses clink. The sound’s muffled by the snow-pressed windows, the heavy wood beams, the distant wind howling like something ancient just outside the walls.
You close your eyes. You’re supposed to feel numb. Instead, it feels like your chest is thawing too fast. Like something inside is waking up with a roar.
And the only thing you want is to drown it back into silence.
You were supposed to be up hours ago.
There had been a list. Alarms, laid out meticulously the night before. Layers folded on the chair by the radiator, boots lined up like loyal soldiers. You were going to be efficient. Controlled. Someone with purpose. Someone who didn’t dissolve into whisky and memory and the sharp sting of her own mistakes.
Instead, you wake sometime after eleven, swimming through a haze that isn’t quite sleep and not quite regret. The world tilts gently beneath you, and your mouth tastes of copper and last night.
You don’t take the painkillers. It feels important not to.
The sky outside is blank again, a hard white you’ve only seen in northern places — something between erasure and threat. You dress by instinct: thick jeans, a fleece-lined shirt, the coat with the broken zipper pull. Uggs still damp. You tie your hair back with cold fingers and don’t check the mirror before leaving.
The air outside is heavier today. Crisper. Snow crunches beneath your soles in that particular way it only does in subzero silence. You pass two hikers on the ridge trail — layers too new, faces too red. They nod, friendly. You don’t respond.
Dr. Noah’s house sits on the upper slope, just beyond the last bend, framed by black pines and the wide white hush of the valley. It’s larger than you remembered, but quieter too. A chalet-style lodge, all dark-stained timber and angled glass — broad eaves sagging gently under the weight of accumulated snow. The windows reflect the pale noon light like sheets of ice.
You approach from the side path. The one that wraps behind the slope of the porch and leads up past the kitchen garden, now skeletal and brittle with frost, to the private entrance: a cedarwood door, flush with the planks, unmarked save for a brass pull and the faint ghost of boot scuffs on the stone step.
You hesitate.
The reasons not to knock assemble themselves quickly, efficiently. He may not be here. Or he is, and he brought his family. Or worse: he’s here alone, and still as closed off and surgical and devastatingly calm as he was last night.
You raise your hand anyway. The door opens before your knuckles touch wood. He must’ve been just behind it.
The light hits him square — white coat, wire-frame glasses, the same posture that always made him seem even taller than he was. For a moment, he says nothing. Just looks at you. That stillness hasn’t faded with the years. If anything, it’s calcified.
You see it then — a flicker across his face, something so quick it’s probably nothing. Annoyance, maybe. Or exhaustion. Or some emotion too fast to name.
And then he speaks, voice even, expression impassive. "Not the best time. You should leave."
It’s a clean incision. No edges to hold onto.
You blink, caught between offense and disbelief, and say, “I’m here to see Dr. Noah. Not you.”
A pause. His gaze doesn’t move.
“He’s ill,” he replies, with that mechanical precision you’d nearly forgotten. “I’m covering his patients until he’s discharged.”
Your voice softens, almost without permission. “Is it serious?”
He shrugs. Not dismissively — just finally. The kind of gesture that says this is what it is, and nothing more.
You understand. You always understood him best in these silences.
There’s nothing you can say to that. Not about Noah. Not about age, or time, or inevitability. The snow shifts under your feet. You glance behind him into the house.
Pine beams. Slate flooring. A wide, open room stretching toward a set of panoramic windows that look out over the ridge. The light inside is softer than expected — muted amber, filtered through linen drapes and the faint movement of steam from something on the stove. The air smells like pine and black tea. The kind of house that invites you to sit down and fall apart.
He turns slightly, hand on the doorframe. “You can visit him at the hospital,” he says. “But I’m expecting someone now.”
You exhale, more sound than breath. “Miss Deveraux, I assume,” you murmur, before you can decide not to.
His head tilts. A beat of calculation.
“You changed your name.”
You lift one shoulder. A shrug, a defense. He doesn’t get an answer. He already took all the ones that mattered.
You’re turning to go when something shifts. Not in his face, but in the air between you. Maybe professionalism. Maybe instinct. Maybe something older.
He steps aside. No invitation. Just an opening. You hesitate only a second. Then you walk through it.
Inside, the warmth hits hard. Your skin prickles. The space is wide but not cold — wood, stone, soft textiles in winter hues. A sheepskin throw over the back of a bench. Open shelving with hand-thrown mugs. A pile of well-worn paperbacks in the corner near a slate fireplace, still glowing faintly from a morning fire.
The heat is the kind that seeps under your skin and makes you remember things. Long nights. Herbal tea. The low sound of Miles Davis from the speakers in his kitchen. The kind of quiet that had nothing to do with peace.
Your boots leave wet prints on the floor.
“This way,” he says, and turns.
You follow him down the hall — wide-planked floors beneath your feet, the faint scent of cedar and lemon oil in the air.
The walls here are quiet. Not sterile, like the clinics you grew up in. But not quite lived-in either. Books in every alcove. Some dog-eared. Some untouched. A long-handled snowshoe mounted like art.
You pass a narrow window where wind-scattered shadows move across the snow. And you don’t ask where he’s taking you. You never did. Zayne walks ahead, and you follow.
Then he stops. Opens a door.
It’s the kind of room you’d expect in a place like this — clinical, but softened by the architecture. The walls are a shade too warm to be white. A reclaimed wood desk sits at an angle to a wide window with a view down the valley. There’s a folded wool blanket on the back of the armchair. A stethoscope rests near a mug gone cold.
And under the desk, a pair of small boots peeks out. Purple. Fur-trimmed. Familiar.
A moment later, a girl’s voice — muffled, stubborn — says, “I don’t want to read. Reading is boring.”
She’s curled beneath the desk, arms folded, cheeks flushed. Next to her, crouched on the floor in a cashmere sweater and soft leggings, is a woman — young, luminous, the kind of composed beauty you’ve only ever seen in galleries or dreams. Her hair is tucked into a braid, her voice calm as riverglass.
“Just one story,” she says gently. “Then we can go back to drawing. Promise.”
The child burrows deeper into the corner.
You stand frozen, caught somewhere between the clinical sterility of the room and the scene that could only be described as... domestic. They’re easy with each other, practiced. The woman places a hand gently on the girl’s shoulder, and the girl leans into it, just enough.
You feel something sink in your chest. That’s her, you think. The wife. The mother.
Zayne steps forward. His hand brushes the woman’s back — a touch so natural it’s almost intimate, but not indulgent. More... familiar. Trusted.
“She’s had enough for now,” he says, his voice soft but decisive. “Sweetheart, come on out.”
The girl peeks up at him. “Are you done working?”
He smiles — barely. “Almost. I need to finish this consultation. Then we can go look for rabbits.”
She considers this. Then, without a word, crawls out from under the desk and stands, brushing off imaginary dust. Her braid is loose over one shoulder, a little frayed at the end.
And then she sees you. Recognition flashes across her face — not quite shock, more like a slow realization. A dream remembered mid-afternoon.
“Hi,” she says brightly. “You’re the lady with Mommy’s eyes.”
You smile. “And you’re the girl who looks at mountains instead of drinking hot chocolate.”
She giggles. Then pauses. Tilts her head.
“What’s your favorite story?”
You blink, caught off guard. "East of the Sun and West of the Moon."
She wrinkles her nose, curious. “What’s it about?”
But before you can answer, Zayne cuts in, voice crisp. “A girl trades herself to a bear to save her family. She disobeys one rule, ruins everything, and spends the rest of the story chasing what she lost.”
The girl blinks. “Oh.”
“She finds him again,” you say quietly, stepping closer. “That part matters.”
Zayne doesn’t look at you. “Barely. And only after walking the ends of the earth.”
“Sometimes that’s what it takes,” you say.
There’s a pause. Something drifts in that space between interpretation and indictment.
The girl looks between you both, then smiles. “I want to read it.”
Zayne nods once, briskly. “We’ll find a copy.”
He looks to the young woman — the one whose name you still don’t know — and gives the barest nod. She stands, smooth and silent, and extends a hand. The girl takes it without hesitation, eyes still flicking back toward you.
“She has a thousand questions,” the woman says with a small smile. Her voice is lower than you expected. Kind.
“I imagine she does,” you murmur.
Then they’re gone. The door clicks shut with a soft finality.
You turn back. Zayne’s already pulling the chair into position. His face resets — back into the familiar neutrality of a doctor preparing to deliver something precise.
He gestures toward the patient’s stool.
“Sit,” he says, already reaching for the chart. “Let’s get this over with.”
And just like that, you’re no one again. Just a file. A diagnosis. Another thing to manage.
You sit.
The paper on the examination table crackles beneath you, loud in the hush of the room. Zayne doesn't look at you as he flips open the chart. His fingers move with the same exacting grace they always had — sharp, sure, impersonal.
There is no sign he knows you beyond your name. No flicker of recognition in the line of his jaw, no hesitation in the tone. Just one more consultation on a day too full.
He adjusts the light above you, then gestures. “Shirt.”
You pause.
The heater ticks somewhere behind you. The window throws pale afternoon across the floor — all snow and silence. Your hands rise, slow. The fabric sticks a little at your wrists.
When you unbutton the top three buttons, his eyes stay trained somewhere just over your shoulder. Not out of politeness. Control.
But his hand falters for half a second — just a twitch — when your collar falls open and the scar shows, clean and linear and unmistakable, running diagonally across your chest.
He doesn't comment. Instead, his voice shifts into that lower octave he used with unstable cases. “How long ago?”
You hesitate, eyes still fixed on the wall behind him. “Seven months.”
His gaze flicks up. Direct. Not curious. Clinical. “Cause?”
“Wanderer,” you say, too quickly.
You feel him still. Then the sound of the pen clicks sharply against the clipboard.
“You’re still in the field.”
It’s not a question.
You nod, barely. “I consult with Dr. Noah every month. He monitors me remotely.”
Zayne sets the chart aside with too much precision. “You took a core-impact injury to the thoracic cavity,” he says flatly. “That doesn’t require monitoring. That requires full diagnostic protocol. You should be in a central hospital. Not here. Not with a retired man in a chalet and a teapot.”
You bristle. “Noah’s been treating me years. He knows my profile.”
“His machines are ten years older than that.”
You flinch at his tone — not cruel, but surgical. The truth without kindness.
“I’ll refer you to the Linkon Diagnostic Center,” he continues, already reaching for the console. “They’ll run a complete bio-map and core sync within twenty-four hours. Dr. Reza is —”
You cut in, voice sharp. “You’re not offering?”
That stops him. Just for a moment. He meets your gaze. Something ancient flickers there, then shutters.
“I’m not your doctor,” he says.
He’s still listening to your heart, diaphragm pressed too close to skin, and suddenly you’re too bare. Too known. Too held open under his breath.
You pull back. Fast.
The stethoscope slips. You cover your chest with trembling hands and fumble for the buttons. “I’m not going back to Linkon,” you say tightly. “I’m fine.”
Your fingers shake. The top button won’t catch.
His voice doesn’t lift. “You’re not fine. You’re compensating.”
“I’ve been compensating since I was nine,” you snap.
That lands. You don’t know why you said it. Maybe because it’s the only way to hurt him — to remind him that you were already a scar before he ever touched you.
He steps back. Withdraws. The room feels wider again. Colder. Silence pools between you.
Then you speak, too soft to matter.
“She’s beautiful,” you say. “Your daughter.”
You force a small smile. “She looks like you.”
Zayne’s brow lifts, just a little. “You might want to get your vision checked. She looks exactly like her mother.”
You blink. The words hit like an off-key note.
“I didn’t notice,” you murmur, thinking — of the girl crouched beside her, warm and glowing and precisely the kind of woman you always assumed he’d marry. The kind who makes soup. The kind who waits. The kind who stays.
“She’s sweet,” you add. “And calm. I always thought you’d end up with someone like that. Someone who makes a home feel like tea and cinnamon and a blanket in the storm.”
His face tightens, just enough for you to see it before he hides it again. Then, sharply: “Are you done?”
You nod once. “Yeah.”
He turns, moves toward the desk. The professional mask slips back into place like it never cracked. “Come back tomorrow morning. I want your blood work. When you’re not hungover.”
Your face heats. A slow, miserable bloom. “I’m not —”
“You are,” he says simply. “I can smell it.”
You swallow, hard.
“It’s fine,” you lie. “The injury doesn’t bother me. I’m cleared for fieldwork. I just need you to sign the release.”
He doesn’t look up. “What release?”
You reach into your coat pocket and pull out the crumpled envelope. You place it on the edge of the desk.
He picks it up. Reads.
Then — without a word — he walks to the cabinet and slides it into a drawer sealed with a biometric lock. You hear the soft click as it closes.
“I won’t sign it,” he says. “Not until I’m sure.”
You stare at the drawer. Then at him.
There’s a pulse behind your ribs — not physical, not medical. Just heat. Something dangerously close to humiliation. You hadn’t expected softness, of course. But still, the stark refusal… It lands harder than you meant it to.
Your voice comes out quieter than planned. “You’re not serious.”
Zayne doesn’t look up from the chart. “I am.”
“I don’t need diagnostics,” you press. “I just need a signature.”
He flips to the next page, casually. “Then go ask someone who doesn’t know what they’re looking at.”
That stings. You laugh, a breathless, brittle sound. “So this is how it’s going to be.”
He meets your gaze then. Steady. Cold. "I treat what’s in front of me. And what I see is a patient with an unstable cardiac implant, signs of recent trauma, poor sleep, an irregular heartbeat, and a tendency toward self-endangerment."
You flinch. “Don’t analyze me.”
“I’m not,” he says, tone flat. “I’m reading you.”
The silence sharpens. You push off the exam table, standing fast enough that the paper beneath you rips.
“You don’t get to pretend you still have some claim to how I live.”
He blinks once. That’s it. “I never did.”
Your throat burns. “Then why won’t you sign the fucking form?”
“Because I don’t trust you,” he says, finally. The words are quiet, but they cut with such clean detachment, it almost feels surgical.
And just like that — the guilt in your chest shifts. You’d come here expecting control. Containment. What you weren’t ready for was this: being the villain in your own story.
Your voice cracks, more bitter than angry. “I didn’t ask you to care.”
“I know,” Zayne says. “You made that very clear. Seven years ago.”
That lands differently. Deeper. You close your eyes for a moment. The inside of your eyelids glow red.
“I thought leaving was the right thing,” you say quietly.
He doesn’t move. “For who?”
You look at him. He’s not angry. Not really. His voice is calm, clinical. The same voice he used with parents trying to argue with the numbers on a monitor.
And somehow that hurts worse.
You breathe in through your nose. The air smells like antiseptic and cedarwood and the past.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” you say, voice low. “I wouldn’t.”
He sets the chart down. Calmly. No slam, no emphasis. It might as well be a napkin.
“You think this is about forgiveness?” he says. “This is about liability. You walked in here with a barely stabilized core and a goddamn hero complex. Forgiveness isn’t part of the chart.”
You laugh again — short, scorched. “God, you haven’t changed at all.”
Zayne’s expression doesn't shift. “And you have?”
You take a step forward. It feels dangerous — not because you think he’ll hurt you, but because of how much space you’ve already lost.
“You think I wanted to disappear?” you bite. “You think it was easy? You think I didn’t —”
He cuts in, voice colder than glass. “You didn’t.”
A pause.
“That’s the only part I believe.”
Your breath catches. You feel it in your spine, the way you used to feel a storm breaking inside your chest.
“You act like I broke you,” you snap.
“No,” he says, and his voice now is quieter. Worse. “You broke yourself. I just happened to be holding the pieces.”
You stand there, trembling. There are a thousand things you could say. But none of them are clean. None of them come without blood. So instead —
“Go to hell,” you spit, and you’re already at the door.
Zayne doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Just watches you the way a surgeon watches a flatline. And as your hand hits the latch, shaking —
“You should’ve stayed gone,” he says.
That does it. You don’t even feel the cold this time as you step out into the white. You don’t zip your coat. You don’t look back. You’re burning from the inside out. And the snow, for once, can’t touch it.
You visit Noah in the hospital that afternoon.
He looks better than he should. Alert. Hydrated. Too pleased to see you. He tries for a weak smile, a raspy breath, a trembling hand — all performative. You’ve known him too long to fall for it.
“Don’t do that,” you tell him flatly, settling beside the bed. “You’re not dying.”
He shrugs, pleased with himself. “Still worked.”
You narrow your eyes. “You invited him the moment you found out I was coming.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He doesn’t deny it. Just adjusts his pillow like a man deeply proud of a long game finally paying off.
You don’t press further. What would be the point? You're here now. And Zayne — he's no longer a memory. He has breath. Mass. Velocity.
You walk back slowly as the sky folds in on itself, streaked with the shimmer of the aurora. It lights the town in green and violet smears, as though the heavens have been bruised.
At one point, you pause by a square, where someone proposes in the snow. There’s clapping. Flash photography. Squealing. A heart traced in frost by a stranger's boot.
You feel nothing. No. That’s not true. You feel everything.
You don’t sleep that night. You lie awake staring at the ceiling, counting the creaks of the old radiator like heartbeats. You get up at four. Shower. Wash your hair. You wear the least-wrinkled shirt you have and a coat that still smells like smoke from a bar you don’t remember leaving.
You’re not trying to look good. You just refuse to look ruined.
Still — no amount of water or concealer covers the circles under your eyes. You look exactly like what you are: someone who hasn’t let herself feel in seven years and is now bleeding out in quiet, ungraceful increments.
By the time you reach Noah’s house again, the sun has barely crested the horizon. The snow is high and dry, powder that cuts like sand.
And then impact. A snowball straight to your cheek. Hard.
You don’t have time to dodge. It lands just below your eye, wet and sharp and entirely undeserved.
You freeze, lips parted. A bloom of cold shock spreads across your face. A giggle follows. Small, delighted. Merciless.
Your hand rises to your cheek. Already hot, already red. You squint toward the source of your humiliation, ready to unleash something unkind —
Then you stop. It’s her. The girl. Pom-pom hat, mittens half-falling off. Grinning. Victorious.
And behind her, Zayne’s voice. Measured, mildly irritated: “Princess. I told you — not before breakfast.”
You turn, still rubbing your cheek.
He’s in the doorway, hair still damp, shirt sleeves pushed to the elbows. His expression hardens slightly when he sees the welt blooming on your face.
The girl looks up at him, wilting a little. He kneels, says something too low for you to catch. She nods solemnly and disappears inside.
You murmur, “It’s fine.”
He doesn’t answer. Just jerks his head toward the hall. “In the office. Wait there.”
You move past him. Your face still stings. Your pride more.
You sit. The room feels colder than yesterday. The chair, harder. You catch your reflection in the dark glass of the cabinet — the mark on your cheek already darkening. You lean in, touch it with one finger. There's a faint scratch beneath it. You blink. A tear hangs on your lower lash.
Zayne enters just as you wipe it away. You turn your face quickly, offer your arm like it’s a business transaction.
He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t comment.
The needle pricks deeper than necessary. It’s probably your fault — the tension in your muscles, the way your jaw locks when he touches you.
The vial fills in silence. The kind that makes you want to scream or laugh or break something clean in two. You choose the last.
A shaky breath escapes. A strange, quiet laugh follows. Zayne raises an eyebrow.
You don’t explain. Why would you?
It’s not every morning that both a man and his six-year-old daughter manage to draw blood from you before coffee.
He withdraws the needle, tapes you up with clinical speed. “You’ll have the results this evening. Depending on Noah’s system.”
You nod, preparing to leave. Then he moves — slower now — and steps close again. You see the cotton ball and antiseptic in his hand before you feel it.
You pull back instinctively. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
He doesn’t argue. But he looks at you in that way he used to. Like every word is a waste of time, and still, he waits for you to finish.
Finally, he says, low: “Don’t be angry with her. She was trying to play.”
“I’m not angry,” you reply, eyes steady. “I just wasn’t expecting to be used for target practice before dawn.”
You’re almost out the door when there’s a knock. Then — she’s there again.
Only now, she’s different. Composed. Hair neatly brushed, her steps careful. No smugness, no bounce. She walks in with both hands wrapped around a large ceramic mug, steam curling from the surface.
“I made you something,” she says, with determined seriousness. “It’s hot chocolate. And I’m sorry for your face.”
Her voice is precise. That same gravity Zayne carries — but undercut by something lighter. A flicker. A spark.
You take the mug. The chocolate is cloyingly thick. Too much sugar. Not enough milk. Like a child’s attempt at comfort.
You drink it anyway. Because no one’s made you something in a long, long time.
And her eyes — when she looks at you like that — they remind you of someone. Not her mother. Not that woman from yesterday. Someone else. Someone in the mirror.
And something you’d buried starts to surface. Not yet. But soon. Very soon.
Behind you, there’s a soft shuffle of feet. The girl steps back, glancing up at Zayne.
“I said I was sorry,” she murmurs.
Zayne raises an eyebrow. "Princess. Did you finish your breakfast?"
She folds her arms, expression thoughtful. Too thoughtful.
“I filled up on guilt,” she says brightly. “It’s very heavy.”
Zayne exhales, but there’s a flicker at the edge of his mouth. Something caught between annoyance and affection.
She leans slightly toward him, lowering her voice. “But if the lady stays for breakfast… I might be able to eat more. For company.”
It’s the kind of manipulation only a child can pull off — just enough honesty to disarm you, just enough calculation to know it’ll work. You glance at Zayne, caught between reluctance and something else — a crack, too thin to be a real opening, but present nonetheless.
“She’s persistent,” you murmur.
“She’s six,” Zayne replies dryly. “That’s their job.”
He doesn’t exactly invite you — but he doesn’t stop his daughter from taking your hand and leading you to the kitchen either.
The kitchen is warm. Simple, but elegant. Dark stone counters, exposed beams. A kettle hisses quietly on the stove. There’s a bowl of half-eaten oatmeal on the table, a spoon leaning precariously against its edge like a forgotten decision.
You sit, because she wants you to, because it’s easier than saying no.
Zayne stands by the counter, pouring coffee. He doesn’t look at you, but the silence between you feels more like thread than ice.
“Do you have a job?” the girl asks suddenly, crawling into her seat.
You nod. “I’m a Hunter.”
Her eyes go wide. “Of monsters?”
You smile. “Of all kinds.”
She leans forward, elbows on the table, chin in her hands. “Do you know my dad?”
The question lands a little off-balance, but you manage, “A long time. Since we were kids. I know Dr. Noah, too.”
She accepts this like a scholar collecting facts. Then, eyes sharper now:
“Do you have Evol?”
Zayne stiffens slightly across the room — not visibly. But you feel it.
“I do,” you say carefully.
“What kind?”
You hesitate. “It’s… not specific. Not like most. Mine adapts. It changes. Depending on the environment. Or the people around me.”
“Like resonance?”
You blink. “Yes. Exactly.”
She lights up, bouncing slightly. “Me too! Papa says it’s rare. He showed me how to make cold. Like little pockets. And seals.”
“Seals?”
She nods furiously, then jumps down from her chair. “Wait here!”
Before you can stop her, she’s gone — the soft thud of her feet disappearing down the hall. You sit in the quiet that follows. Your hands wrapped too tightly around your mug. Zayne still hasn’t spoken. Still hasn’t looked at you.
When she returns, she’s holding something in both palms like it’s sacred.
A small, rounded snow seal — compact and carefully shaped, like a snowball someone almost didn’t want to sculpt. Its body is smooth but imperfect, eyes made of something dark and glossy. It glitters faintly in her palms, but doesn’t melt.
“I made this yesterday,” she says shyly. “You can have it.”
You reach for it. And your hands tremble.
It’s identical. Not just similar — identical. To the one tucked away in a drawer you haven’t opened in years. A smooth, delicate snow seal. The first thing Zayne ever made for you, after that accidental dinner — back when things between you were still uncertain. Still unspoken. And you were trying, very hard, not to fall in love with him.
You stare at her. Then at the seal. Then at him. He’s watching you now. Not guarded. Not indifferent. Guilty.
The thought doesn’t land — it detonates. You can’t breathe.
You stand suddenly. The chair scrapes too loud against the floor. The seal trembles in your hand.
“I have to go,” you say, voice too tight.
“Wait —” Zayne takes a half-step forward, almost like he wants to explain something. But he doesn’t. He never does.
His face falters, just once — an expression you’ve never seen on him. Unspoken. Unnamed. But unmistakably wrong.
You shake your head. “Don’t.”
You don’t know what he was going to say, but you know you wouldn’t survive hearing it. You pull on your coat. Your hands don’t quite work. The zipper catches. You don’t look at him. Or her.
You leave. You leave fast.
The seal stays in your pocket, burning cold against your thigh. And the thought won’t leave you alone — she has your eyes. Not just the color. The shape. The center. The way they narrow when something doesn’t make sense.
You breathe until your chest aches — deeper, faster, like you’re trying to outrun something curling under your ribs. But the thought stays: What if she isn’t like you? What if she is you?
You don’t remember deciding to leave the house.
At some point, your body just moved. One boot. Then the other. Coat half-zipped. Hat forgotten. Gloves in your pocket but not on your hands.
The door behind you closed with a soft latch, and no one stopped you. Maybe they didn’t see. Maybe they didn’t want to.
It’s noon when you start walking.
The streets are half-cleared. Locals move like shadows between wood-framed cafés and ski rentals, their faces red, layered, laughing. You hate the sound. You hate how it makes you feel like you’re the only person in the whole damn town who’s bleeding internally and pretending it’s just the weather.
You drift from block to block without direction. Your breath fogs like smoke. You pass a group of tourists taking photos of the northern lights that have lingered since morning — low, green ribbons against a dim sky. They’re beautiful. You want to scream.
The seal is still in your coat pocket. You touched it once. Didn’t look. Didn’t dare.
You’ve been unraveling since morning. No, before that.
Since the girl smiled at you like she knew you. Since Zayne’s eyes refused to meet yours when your hands shook. Since you saw her eyes — your eyes — looking out from someone else’s face.
You want to scream again. You want to sleep for a year. You want to claw your way out of this body and this life and these feelings you tried so goddamn hard not to keep.
By afternoon, the clouds thicken. The wind picks up. You realize — vaguely, distantly — that you haven’t eaten. Your fingers are numb when you finally reach the base of the lift. It’s closed for the day. The town has shut down early. Weather advisory.
A bored attendant is locking the gate. “Slopes are off-limits,” he says. “Storm’s rolling in.”
You nod, smile thinly, and turn back like a good citizen. But you don’t leave. You wait.
You wait until he disappears back into the office. Until no one’s watching. Then — like it’s nothing — you climb over the fence and start walking up the service trail. Skis abandoned at the side rack. Rental. Yours now.
You don’t know what you’re doing. You just know you need to get higher.
Need to outrun the noise in your head — the thudding, rising, tightening thought that something isn’t adding up. That maybe it already added up and you’re just too afraid to see the sum.
That child. That seal. Those eyes. That look on Zayne’s face like he owed you something and didn’t know how to pay.
You reach the crest of the slope as the sky turns the color of a fresh bruise — deep violet, heavy with snow.
The wind howls. And still — you don’t turn back. You clip into the skis with fingers stiff and shaking. The trail beneath you is untouched. No tracks. No sound.
Just you. And the storm. You push off.
Zayne waits until the girl arrives — Noah’s niece, the one with calm hands and a patient voice, the one you mistook for something she wasn’t. She greets him with a warm smile and a quick update: oatmeal was eaten, hot chocolate spilled, the child is brushing her teeth. He nods, hands her a list with quiet instructions, then pulls on his coat without a word.
He tries your hotel first. The front desk confirms what he feared — no sign of you since morning. Your room untouched. Key not returned.
Something in his chest shifts.
He checks the ridge path. Nothing. The café. The overlook. Still nothing. His movements are methodical — too calm. It’s not control. It’s containment. If he slows down, even for a second, something in him will crack.
And then — near the rental stand — he finds it.
A glove. Dropped. Half-buried in snow, already stiff. He picks it up, turns it over. Recognizes the tear at the seam. Yours.
He asks the attendant without raising his voice.
Did anyone come through this afternoon? Alone? Female. Dark coat. Grey hat.
The man squints. "Yeah. Kinda reckless. Took off before I could stop her. Trail’s closed. She climb the ridge?”
Zayne doesn’t answer. His eyes have already locked on the faint trail of ski tracks, just visible past the fence. The wind’s been at them, but not enough to hide them completely.
He doesn’t ask to borrow the gear.
He takes the skis, the poles. The boots he forces on with too much pressure, and when the attendant stammers something about policy, Zayne pulls out his wallet and empties it. A week’s wages in a handful of bills.
“Keep it,” he says flatly. “If I don’t come back, file a report.”
Then he moves.
The snow is heavier now. The light fractured and thick. The trail beneath him vanishes in places, reappearing in erratic, uncertain intervals.
Zayne cuts across the slope with practiced economy — no hesitation, no excess motion. Just angles, just speed. His breath steady, heart loud in his throat.
He tells himself he isn’t afraid. He doesn’t allow that.
But every time the wind screams through the trees, he hears your name in it.
You shouldn’t be out here. Not alone. Not after what your body’s already been through. The last time he saw your vitals, they told him you were compensating — tightly, dangerously. He knows how you move. How far you can push. And how far you go past that, every time.
You’ve always mistaken endurance for strength. Always carried pain like it was proof of something noble.
He hated you for that once. He thinks, maybe, he still does. But it doesn’t stop him.
Then he sees it.
Two skis. Sticking upright from a drift.
And his body stops moving before his mind does. He’s off his own skis in seconds. Ripping off gloves. Digging.
He calls your name once. Quietly. Pointlessly.
The snow is deep. Heavy. He can’t move fast enough.
His fingers spark, and he lets his Evol loose — concentrated cold that carves through the snow in clean, precise arcs, exposing the shape beneath. A coat. A shoulder. A hand.
You’re there. Unconscious.
Face pale. Skin far too cold. But breathing. Your mouth parts in slow, shallow rhythm. The line of your pulse is barely visible in your throat.
He checks your pupils. Taps your cheek. You don’t stir.
Zayne exhales — not relief. Not yet. Just... air.
He pulls off his coat. Wraps it around you. Scarf next. Then his gloves. He doesn’t think. Just works. Every layer he has, onto you. Your pulse is slow, but consistent. Fingers pinkening. No slurring at the mouth, no skin rupture. Early-stage exposure. You’ll feel it later — pain like fire. But you’ll live.
You’ll live. You’ll live.
He cradles you upright, gathering your limbs in careful precision.
Turning back isn’t an option. The trail’s too steep, visibility falling. Wind rising.
But he remembers.
Three miles east. Maybe a little more. Tree line drops. Cabin near the base. Old ranger post. No electricity, but shelter. Wood. He’d seen it once, riding out on the snowmobile. Just a marker in the cold. Never thought he’d need it for real.
He adjusts your weight. Lifts you fully.
You don’t stir.
The snow stings his face like glass. He takes one step forward.
Then another. And another. And another…
Every muscle is screaming. But he doesn't stop.
Not even when the storm closes around you like a fist. Not even when his legs buckle slightly under the weight of you. Not even when he has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to stay upright.
Because this — this is the only direction that exists.
This is the cost of silence. This is the body he still remembers carrying once before. This is everything he couldn’t say compressed into the weight of you against his chest.
You open your eyes when the spoon touches your lips.
It’s not a dream, though your vision is still clouded. There’s something herbal and scalding and sharp on your tongue, and the taste cuts through the fog like citrus through smoke. You swallow reflexively.
The light around you is amber and low. Firelight.
There’s a crackle to your left — the sound of wood shifting in a stone hearth. You realize you’re lying on something soft, uneven. Furs. Blankets. The floor is warm beneath your back, too warm for snow.
Everything aches.
But it’s the hands you feel first. One bracing the back of your head, the other steadying the cup.
Zayne.
He’s kneeling beside you, his face cast in that flickering glow, brow furrowed but calm. He always looks calm. Even when he's breaking.
“Easy,” he murmurs, the same tone he uses with terrified patients. “One more sip.”
Your throat is raw when you speak. “Zayne…”
It comes out as a croak. Foreign. Barely yours.
His hand shifts, adjusting your weight. “You're okay,” he says. “You're safe. Just drink.”
You blink again, harder now. The room begins to resolve.
Rough-hewn walls. Low beams. A wooden table covered in old gear and folded wool. Two chairs. A rack of kindling. The window rattles in its frame, wind clawing at the glass.
You’re in a cabin.
The middle of nowhere. Snow hammering against the dark.
“I found you on the south slope,” he says. “Passed out. Cold to the core.” His voice stays even. “You should’ve been dead.”
You don’t respond. Not with words.
Your body is still catching up to the idea that it hasn’t been left behind.
“I need to get you warmer,” he says. “You’re not shivering anymore. That’s bad.”
You start to sit up. He stops you with a touch. His fingers are cold too — not numb, but close. You can feel the tremor under his restraint.
“You need to strip,” he says. “Your clothes are soaked. You won’t retain heat like this.”
You want to argue. Your brain wants to rebel. But your body betrays you — you’re shaking now, from the inside, from the marrow.
“I’ll help,” he says, already undoing the clasps at your coat.
You let him.
There’s no shame in the gesture. Only efficiency. Only silence.
He peels your clothes back layer by layer — coat, sweater, base layer — each one discarded near the fire. He’s methodical, but his fingers stumble once at the side of your ribs. You don’t flinch. Neither does he.
When he’s done, he does the same to himself. His hands are slower now. He’s soaked too. You see it in the way his shirt clings, the way his skin is flushed in patches, raw in others.
He says nothing. Neither do you.
The wind screams outside.
Then he lifts the furs. Slides in beside you.
Everything feels... detached. Like you’re still behind glass, still half-buried in snow. His body is there — you know that — but your skin won’t admit it yet. Cold lives in the marrow. It doesn’t release easily.
He doesn’t ask when he pulls you closer. Doesn’t explain as he hooks one leg over yours, his thigh anchoring you with clinical precision. Contact — pure and total. Every inch of skin aligned.
It’s about warmth. Nothing more.
You believe that. For now.
Your foot finds his under the covers. Slides along the ridge of his shin, searching. You lay your hands on his chest. Flat, tentative. He takes them in his — large, too cold — and brings them to his mouth. Breathes. Warms them with both palms, slowly rubbing life back into your fingers.
And then — you begin to shake.
Violently. But not only from the cold.
He starts to rub your back. Brisk. Practical. Hands flat, pressure deliberate. Not tender. Not yet. Just enough to pull you back into your body.
You respond without meaning to. You press against him — again, just for heat. That’s all. Your hands move instinctively, over his shoulders, his throat, lower. You start to trace the vertebrae at the center of his back.
Just to ground yourself. Just to hold on.
Your breasts are against his chest. Your nipples — hard to the point of pain — brush bone and breath.
He shudders.
From the cold? You don’t ask.
Because you’re no longer cold. Not really. But you’re not warm either. There’s only this flicker — a kindling at the base of your spine.
Not desire. Not yet. But something trying to become it.
His hand moves to your hair, finds the elastic, slides it free. Fingers comb through the strands, rough, reverent. His palm cups the back of your skull. Massages gently. The tension spills from your scalp like something breaking.
You make a sound — quiet, involuntary.
Your breath lands against his throat, hot, uneven.
He stills.
Then he shifts your face upward, thumb beneath your jaw. Not rough. Not asking. Just guiding. Until your eyes lock.
His gaze — green, always green — reflects the firelight in flickers. Cold forest. Flickering coals.
You can’t look away. You let him all the way in. Because he remembers the way. Because your walls were never walls with him — only doors you forgot how to close.
His voice is low, at your mouth: “You have no sense of self-preservation.”
You whisper back, “I forgot how to feel anything.”
Your throat tightens. “My heart’s been a shard of ice for years.”
He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t soften.
“You didn’t even leave me that,” he murmurs. “Only the empty space where it used to be.”
“Zayne, I —”
But he hushes you, barely a breath. “Don’t speak. Not now. If we don’t warm up, we won’t make it to morning.”
“Then warm me,” you breathe.
Something in him breaks then — quietly.
His arms tighten around you. No hesitation. His fingers dig into your skin with bruising honesty. You feel it — the pressure, the edge, the claim — and it’s the first time pain feels like presence.
You welcome it.
“Harder,” you whisper. “Don’t hold anything back. Just… not now.”
He doesn’t.
In one breathless motion, he flips you onto your back — his body covering yours entirely, anchoring you to the furs and the warmth and the terrible, steady thud of his pulse.
He hovers over you, braced on his elbows, the lines of his frame drawn taut above yours. For a moment, he doesn’t move. Doesn’t touch. Just studies your face like a map he’s not sure he has the right to read.
It’s not hesitation. It’s a final warning.
But your body has remembered how to feel again. Heat has bloomed across your skin — from your neck to your cheeks, now flushed and electric — then lower, spiraling into your belly, blooming with a weight that has nothing to do with cold.
He leans in, and his lips graze the pulse at your throat. Light. Measured. Then lower — the slope of your collarbone, the hollow of your shoulder — his breath leaving heat where ice had lived.
When he speaks, it’s soft. Directive. “Hold me tighter.”
Not a plea. Not an invitation. An order. The doctor, still.
You obey.
Your legs curl around his waist, locking him in place. Your arms wrap across his back, palms flattening against tense muscle, nails dragging instinctively down the blades of his shoulder, then lower — to his waist, the arc of his hips.
Your skin sings where he touches you.
His body over yours is no longer just weight — it’s voltage. It cracks through the ache and the shame and the frost, down to the deepest, most feral part of you that only ever belonged to him.
You dig your fingers into the curve of him — familiar, lost, found again too fast. Too desperately.
And still, he doesn’t kiss you.
You want him to. God, you want him to. You want the taste of his mouth. You want to remember what it felt like when kissing him made the world disappear.
But he doesn’t give you that. Because that would make this real.
Too real.
And you’re both still pretending this is about the cold. About survival. About anything but what it is.
So instead, he moves lower — mouth against your throat, fingers tightening at your waist, and your whole body arches up to meet him, wanting more, needing more, aching toward the inevitable.
And still — no lips on yours. Still that one small distance held like a line neither of you dares to cross.
His hand slides lower. Fingers between your thighs, slow and certain — finding you already wet, already aching. His touch is careful at first. A question. A warning.
Then he moves — stroking, circling, teasing — and you arch, sharp and sudden, breath caught on the edge of a moan.
Your hands clutch at his back, your hips rising to meet him, the last of your resistance dissolved into heat and want and memory.
“Zayne,” you whisper, voice broken and close to prayer. “Please. I need you now.”
Your lips brush his ear. The words land soft, but strike hard.
He doesn’t answer. Just shifts — deliberate, sure — as his knee presses yours open wider, as his body finally, finally finds yours.
The first moment of him inside you is too much and not enough. A slow, deliberate stretch. He’s holding back — you feel it. Every inch a battle between restraint and collapse.
When you are completely joined, your eyes fly open. So do his.
You both stop.
Breathless. Still. Time folds in on itself.
It feels like the first time. Like a dream pulled too close to waking. Like you’ve spent years underwater and have just now broken the surface.
He begins to move. Barely. Slow. Torturous. Deep.
And you watch him. Because this is the moment you see it — his detachment cracking, his control unraveling. Each movement chips away another piece.
Then his hands seize your hips harder, pulling you closer, holding you down as he thrusts deeper, faster — no longer gentle. His mouth finds your shoulder, your throat. His teeth graze your skin, just shy of pain.
You match him.
Your legs wrap around his back. Your hips rise to meet every stroke, faster, harder. Sweat beads at his temple. A low sound slips from his throat — one you’ve never heard before, and never want to forget.
You’re not cold anymore.
There’s heat building in your belly, pulsing, tightening. Each movement pushes you closer to something unbearable.
You can’t stay quiet. You don’t want to.
Your moans rise with the rhythm, faster, sharper, and when he angles just right, when his name leaves your mouth like a gasp turned to flame —
“Zayne — !”
The world shatters.
Pleasure crashes through you in waves — violent, relentless. You bite down on his shoulder, legs trembling, body clenching tight around him.
He groans — low and guttural — and flips you both, pulling you on top of him, still joined, still inside you.
You collapse against his chest, panting, ruined.
Your thighs still locked around his hips. Your pulse frantic. His heartbeat thunderous beneath your cheek.
You don’t move. Neither does he.
And in that stillness, something settles. Not comfort. Not safety.
But the truth of it: he’s not indifferent. Not detached. Not after all this time.
He still holds you like he remembers how you once broke apart beneath his hands — and how you came back, not even realizing it was for him.
The sound of his heartbeat, and the low, steady howl of the wind outside, lulled you eventually. Your body relaxed — finally — into sleep. But it wasn’t rest. Just disjointed images: whiteness, blurred edges, something aching and incomplete. A dream without a shape, just cold and distance and something you couldn’t reach.
When you woke, he was gone.
You were still wrapped in the weight of layered furs, tucked with clinical precision, your body cocooned like something fragile. You could still feel him on your skin — the imprint of his hands, the echo of his breath.
“Zayne?” you rasped, your throat dry and raw.
His voice came from somewhere behind the fire. “I’m here.”
A second later he emerged, bare-chested beneath a heavy wool throw slung over one shoulder like a makeshift toga. He held a steaming mug in both hands.
“How do you feel?” he asked. “Headache? Nausea?”
“I’m fine.” You sat up, pulling the blanket to your chest. He handed you the tea. You took it without meeting his eyes.
That ridiculous throw was the only thing he’d bothered with — aside from the wool socks. And now that you noticed, the matching pair was on your feet too.
Your clothes hung near the fire, dripping onto the wooden floor in slow, defeated rhythms.
It was still dark outside. The blizzard had dulled to a whisper, snow tapping now instead of screaming. The only other sound was the slow collapse of wood in the hearth.
“Everything should be dry by midday,” he said evenly, eyes fixed on yours — calm, too calm. Doctor-Zayne calm. “Once it is, I’ll hike to the base. Should only take a few hours. I’ll bring back a snowmobile.”
“I can walk,” you muttered, wrapping the furs tighter.
“No,” he said flatly. “You’re one sneeze away from pneumonia.”
You sneezed.
Took a sip to hide it. The tea was bitter and hot and exactly what your throat needed. It didn’t help your pride.
He watched you for a long beat. Then, carefully:
“Tell me what possessed you to take the slope in a storm. Especially considering you’ve never been a particularly good skier.”
There was no judgment in his voice. That’s what made it worse.
You turned your head, eyes fixed on the fire. You didn’t want to talk about his daughter. You didn’t want to ask. Not while your body still remembered his breath on your neck. Not while your thighs still ached from being wrapped around him.
“You could’ve died,” he said. Softer now. There was a tremble, just barely.
“It’s not the first time,” you replied. Dry. Flat. “I didn’t ask you to follow me.”
His silence was sharp.
Then: “What does that mean?”
You shrugged. Shrugging was easier than explaining. Shrugging let you pretend this wasn’t tearing you open in layers.
His spine straightened. You knew that posture. You’d seen it in surgery. In argument. In loss.
“You think I wouldn’t care?”
“Do you?”
Still silence.
“Do you think it wouldn’t matter to me if you didn’t come back?” His voice was harder now — not loud, but precise. Measured like a scalpel.
You met his eyes, finally. “Do you care as my doctor? Or as Zayne?”
He stepped forward, just enough to catch the light on his face.
“Both.”
The word dropped between you like a stone.
“I deserve answers,” he said, tone cooling. “You’ve had seven years of silence. You don’t get to keep hiding.”
You flinched. “I’m not a puzzle for you to solve.”
“You’re not a stranger either.”
Your jaw clenched. “I have the right not to explain myself.”
“And I have the right to ask,” he said, his voice suddenly sharper — controlled, but frayed at the edges.
You looked at him then. Really looked.
He wasn’t the man you left behind. He wasn’t even the man you remembered.
His face was sharper now. Carved from something colder. His beauty had always been precise, but now it was almost inhuman — every emotion hidden behind faultless structure. The lines of him harder. His silence heavier.
He looked like someone who had survived something quietly. Someone who had burned and chosen to freeze instead.
And suddenly you wondered if he was asking because he was angry — or because he was afraid the answer would ruin him.
You set the cup down and rubbed your forehead — the gesture unconscious, familiar. The kind of motion you only made when faced with something unpleasant that required a decision.
You didn’t want to do this sitting. It made you feel small, like the version of yourself you’d spent the last seven years trying to grow out of.
So you rose, pulling the furs around you tightly, dragging their weight like a second skin, and stepped closer to the fire. You didn’t look at him. You couldn’t. You stared at the flames instead — at the way the heat licked the logs and flared in quiet, devouring patterns.
Your palm stretched toward the warmth. The skin was hot, but inside you still felt the cold — like your bones had absorbed it, like it had settled somewhere marrow-deep.
A tremor passed through you.
“I’m not eager to dig up the past,” you said softly, the words barely louder than the crackle of the fire. “But I imagine you’re owed some kind of answer. Maybe I’ll even admit now that leaving the way I did was reckless. But at the time, I wasn’t thinking. I was reacting. Instinct, not intention.”
He said nothing. You kept your eyes on the fire.
“I’m actually surprised you didn’t put it together yourself,” you added. “But if you want me to say it out loud, then fine. I left because you fell in love with someone else. Because you cheated on me.”
Silence. And then —
“Excuse me?”
Zayne’s voice snapped across the space like the crack of a snapped branch. Not loud — but edged with something so sharp and disbelieving that it startled you into turning.
His face was a picture of stunned clarity. Not guilt. Not evasion.
Shock.
You’d seen Zayne process grief. Rage. Even loss. But not this.
“I can assure you,” he said with that same cold precision, “neither of those things ever happened. But by all means, continue. I’d love to know what led you to such an absurd conclusion.”
Your breath caught. He wasn’t lying.
He never had been good at lying — not even white lies, not even to protect someone. If you’d asked him then, directly, all those years ago… He would’ve told you the truth.
No matter what it was.
But you hadn’t asked.
“Do you remember Caroline?” you said, voice thinner now. “Dr. Sharp, I think. She came to town for the fellowship project. You spent over a month working side-by-side. You were gone every night, back after midnight, gone before I woke. We barely saw each other.”
“That project was critical,” he said quietly. “And yes. I’ve often wondered if that’s what it was. That I didn’t make enough space for you.”
You laughed, but there was no humor in it.
“I wouldn’t have left over time or distance,” you said. “That’s not me. Worst case, I would’ve had a meltdown. I would’ve yelled. Slammed doors. But what got under my skin… what stayed…”
You swallowed.
“We had dinner. All of us. One night. I watched the way she looked at you. The way she touched your hand like it was second nature. And the way you didn’t flinch. You were relaxed. Easy. Like she belonged next to you.”
He was quiet for a long beat. Then, lower: “She was my closest friend. For years.”
Was.
You didn’t miss the tense. Something final in it.
“I spiraled,” you admitted, voice cracking. “I started imagining things. Inventing whole conversations you never had. And then —” you drew in a breath, “— you were in the shower. And your phone lit up. I shouldn’t have looked. I know that. But I did.”
His face didn’t move.
“She texted you. Something about… a kiss. I couldn’t unlock it, couldn’t read the rest. But I didn’t need to. That was enough.”
Your words hung between you like ash.
When you finally met his eyes, what you saw there wasn’t the same fire as before. It was rage now. Cold. Controlled. Ancient.
He didn’t speak. But his hands were clenched at his sides, the tendons tight. Not shaking. Just contained.
And that, more than anything, frightened you.
Finally, Zayne found his voice again. When he spoke, it was quieter — colder. Like he was holding himself together with wire.
“She kissed me,” he said. “I didn’t kiss her back. I asked her to leave. I never saw her again. End of story.”
You opened your mouth, but —
He raised a hand. “No. Don’t.”
You froze.
“Let’s summarize, shall we?” he said, and his tone was so steady it hurt. “You accepted my proposal. We were making plans. Booking venues. Looking at rings.”
He took a step toward you.
You stepped back. The fire was too close now — too hot. Your skin prickled.
“And then,” he continued, “you disappeared. No warning. No explanation. No note. Nothing. Just… gone.”
His eyes were locked on yours. And you’d never seen him like this — not in battle, not in chaos, not even in the quiet moments when he looked like he might finally break.
“You vanished because of a kiss that never happened. Because you saw something you didn’t understand. Because you didn’t ask.”
The silence that followed was thunderous.
“I searched for you,” he said. “Do you know that?”
He didn’t wait for an answer.
“I looked in every city I thought you might go. Called hospitals. Asked colleagues. Filed missing persons reports in seven countries. I didn’t sleep for weeks. I had to be pulled off rotation because my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.”
Your breath hitched.
His voice was breaking now — not loud, not emotional. Just… broken. Controlled devastation.
“I thought you were dead.”
He let that hang there.
“I imagined you in rivers. In morgues. I dreamed it. Night after night. And every time the phone rang, I hoped it was you. I hoped you’d changed your mind. That it was all just a mistake, or a test, or a nightmare.”
Another step closer. His face was inches from yours now.
“And then at some point,” he said, voice dropping to a whisper, “I had to stop hoping. Because hoping was killing me.”
Your knees almost gave out.
“And now you stand here,” he went on, “telling me you left because you were jealous of a woman who meant nothing. Because you couldn’t bear to ask me a question I would’ve answered in one breath.”
His mouth twisted, just slightly — a flicker of something savage behind the calm.
“That’s not heartbreak. That’s cowardice.”
You said nothing. There was nothing to say.
His eyes didn’t soften. “I would’ve forgiven almost anything. A betrayal. A lie. Hell, even if you had loved someone else.”
A beat.
“But I don’t know how to forgive being erased.”
The final word landed like a gavel.
You looked at him — the man you loved, the man who once memorized the rhythm of your breath in sleep — and you didn’t see a stranger.
You saw someone who had carried your absence like a scar he didn’t let heal.
And now he was bleeding in front of you. But the blood wasn’t red. It was ice.
It came slowly. Too slowly.
Like thaw in the deepest part of winter — not warmth, but the ache that comes with returning sensation.
You’d spent so long clinging to the version of events you built inside your own head — a brittle, pathetic mythology — that you hadn’t once thought to challenge it.
You’d believed he betrayed you. And carried that lie like a wound for seven years. You let it harden inside you, let it dictate the terms of your survival.
You cried for him. Night after night, in rooms that never felt like home. Until you convinced yourself he had moved on. Married. Loved again. Raised someone else’s child in the light of a future that was supposed to be yours.
You tried to fill the space he left. But nothing fit.
And now that you knew the truth —
There was no relief. Only horror.
It crashed over you all at once — a cold so deep it numbed thought. Your throat tightened. You couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe.
It was like being buried again — not under snow this time, but under the weight of your own choices. The grief of what you did, of what you undid.
“Zayne…” you managed. “I— I made a mistake.”
He laughed.
Not loud. Not cruel. But sharp. Icy. Surgical.
“A mistake,” he repeated, voice dry as ash. “Of course.”
He took a slow step toward you, his expression unreadable, his tone too calm to be safe.
“Just a minor lapse in judgment. Nothing serious. Nothing irreversible.”
You flinched.
“Just —” he continued, tilting his head slightly, as if mocking even his own patience, “— disappearing without a trace. Letting me believe you were dead. Watching me lose everything. My sleep. My mind. My future.”
His gaze pinned you. “But hey. Who hasn’t made that kind of mistake?”
“Don’t say it like that —”
“What? Like it’s nothing?” His smile was thin, brittle. “Like it’s not the single most devastating thing anyone’s ever done to me?”
Your breath caught.
“You want me to be kind, is that it? After seven years of silence, you want — what? Mercy? Grace?” He gave a small, mirthless laugh. “I’m sorry. I seem to have misplaced those somewhere around year two.”
You closed your eyes, shaking. “Please, Zayne…”
He didn’t move.
“You want me to say I understand?” he asked. “That I forgive you?”
You didn’t answer.
He leaned in, just slightly.
“You didn’t just leave,” he said. “You rewrote me. You made me the villain in a story I didn’t even know I was in.”
That was when something inside you cracked.
Your fists clenched at your sides, breath coming short. Rage rising not at him — not fully — but at yourself, and at him, and at everything you didn’t understand and didn’t ask and didn’t say.
And then you said it. Low, sharp, shaking.
“Oh, and what about you, Zayne?”
His brows lifted, almost imperceptibly.
“Let’s talk about you and your daughter.”
A flicker. Barely visible. A shift in the air.
You stepped closer. Voice rising.
“Let’s talk about why the hell she looks exactly like me.”
“Don’t you dare drag my daughter into this,” he said — clipped, sharp.
But his voice had shifted. You knew that tone. The one he used when he was cornered. When the truth was already rising in his throat, demanding release.
And that gave you strength.
You stepped forward, jabbing a finger into his chest.
“Oh, no. Not this time.” Your voice was shaking. Not from fear. From fury. “You don’t get to bury this under silence.”
He didn’t move.
“Why does she have my eyes, Zayne?” Your voice rose. “Why does she and I share the same Evol signature? Why do I look at her and feel —” You choked, breath catching. “— nothing, when I should’ve felt everything?”
He met your gaze without flinching.
“She has nothing to do with you.”
That was the lie that broke you.
“Zayne!”
You almost screamed it. And finally — finally — he answered.
“I created her,” he said.
Each word landed like a fracture.
“I created her from the only part of you I had left. I broke every protocol, every ethical law, every barrier between grief and madness. I did it knowing exactly what it was. A moment of desperation. Of agony. Of self-destruction. Call it what you want.”
His voice trembled once, barely. Then steeled again.
“But once she existed — she was alive. And I was responsible.”
You couldn’t breathe.
It all clicked into place, hideously fast.
There had been a time — after a fight, after a wound — a battle that had torn more than just your skin. The damage to your abdomen had been bad. Serious enough that your fertility came into question. And so, in a haze of pain and fear and future-thinking, you and Zayne had made a decision.
You’d frozen your eggs. Just in case. Just in case there was ever time for life.
And then you vanished. And he —
Your knees gave out.
Because it wasn’t just theory now. It wasn’t data in a file. It wasn’t a long-ago clinic visit or a box ticked on a form.
It was her.
Your daughter.
A child you hadn’t known you’d had. Who’d taken her first breath, first steps, spoken her first word — all without you. A child whose face you’d looked into and seen nothing but unfamiliarity.
Because the thread between you was never tied.
Your vision blurred. Your hands clenched. And then, with a clarity that burned through the haze, you lifted your arm and slapped him.
Hard.
His head turned with the force of it.
But he didn’t step back. Didn’t retaliate. Just stood there, breathing. Something behind his eyes shifted — regret, maybe. Or something darker. Disappointment.
You didn’t care.
“You had no right,” you whispered.
“I know,” he said, just as quietly. “But we can’t unmake what we did.”
Your legs were shaking. Your body had stopped regulating heat again — not from trauma, but from exhaustion. The flu or something close to it now tightening your throat, buzzing behind your eyes.
You didn’t speak again.
You just turned. Pulled the furs around your body. Curled up on the floor, facing away.
Everything inside you was vibrating. Screaming. And still — you didn’t make a sound.
Behind you, you heard him move. A step, maybe two. The start of a word, maybe a breath.
But then — silence.
The kind that didn’t soothe. The kind that hollowed.
You drifted in and out of a fevered half-sleep, somewhere between dreaming and remembering, while the sun crept higher in the sky.
You weren’t fully conscious, but you knew he was there.
You felt his hand on your forehead now and then — clinical, measuring. You remembered being lifted just enough to drink something warm, bitter. His arm braced behind your shoulders. His voice low, instructing, coaxing.
You remembered his arms around you when the shivering got worse.
Not tender. Not romantic. Just practical.
Because you were freezing. And he wasn’t going to let you freeze alone.
He didn’t crawl beneath the furs again. But he lay beside you, fully dressed, silent, a barrier against the cold.
Even now — after all the damage, all the wounds neither of you could cauterize — he still gave what little warmth he had left.
When your eyes opened again, the room had changed. The light was golden, brighter. Fire still burned in the hearth, lower now. The air felt clearer.
You tried to sit up too fast. A hand pressed gently against your shoulder, stopping you.
Zayne.
His face above yours — alert, shadowed by worry, but composed.
You looked at him, and what surprised you most was the stillness inside yourself. Not peace. Not comfort. Just… an absence of fight. A numb kind of calm.
It wasn’t forgiveness. And it wasn’t closure. It was the breath after the collapse.
“How long was I asleep?” you asked, or tried to — the sound barely made it out.
Your voice cracked, nearly gone. You reached for your throat.
He shook his head once. “Don’t talk.”
No gentleness. Just clarity.
“About six hours,” he said. “It’s nearly noon. The fever’s dropped. Your clothes are dry.”
You noticed now — he was fully dressed. Jacket zipped, gloves on, boots laced tight. Efficient. Ready.
“I need to hike out,” he said, crouching beside you. “Snowmobile station’s a few miles. I’ll be back within two hours.”
You didn’t answer. Just watched him — the way his brows stayed furrowed, the way his jaw kept clenching and unclenching like there was something in his mouth he didn’t trust himself to say.
Then he reached for your hand. His palm was warm. Solid.
“Listen to me,” he said. “We’ll talk. Properly. We’ll get to all of it. But right now — I need to know that you’re not going to do something reckless while I’m gone.”
You didn’t grip his hand. But you didn’t pull away either. Your fingers just rested in his — a neutral stillness that said not yet, but also not no.
“I promise,” you whispered.
Zayne lingered for half a second more. Then he did something you didn’t expect. He brought your hand to his mouth. Touched his lips to the tips of your fingers. Barely there.
And then he stood. Crossed the room and walked out into the snow.
The door closed behind him with a clean, final click. And you were alone.
But this time, not entirely lost.
Four hours later, Zayne was carrying you back through the doorway of Dr. Noah’s house.
The fever had returned somewhere on the snowmobile ride down. Your skin burned, and the world had begun to tilt. By the time he stepped through the threshold, your voice was gone again.
He didn’t speak. Just moved with quiet certainty.
Helped you out of your damp clothes. Pulled a fleece pajama set from the linen closet — a pale blue thing that smelled faintly of cedar — and dressed you with swift efficiency. You didn’t protest. Couldn’t.
He laid you down in one of the guest beds, layered with thick quilts, and disappeared only for a moment. When he returned, it was with a bag of supplies already slung over his shoulder, a prepped IV in one hand and a throat spray in the other.
Every motion was muscle memory. Smooth. Intentional. Engraved in his bones.
At one point, as he propped your head up to give you a sip of raspberry tea, your hand slipped forward, fingers closing weakly around his wrist.
“Zayne…” you rasped. “You have a fever too.”
He didn’t look at you. Just adjusted the angle of the mug.
“I’m fine,” he said.
He gathered your hair gently — fingers threading through the strands with ease — and twisted it into a loose knot, securing it with a black elastic he must’ve pulled from his pocket.
You stared at him, eyes glassy with heat and a kind of wounded awe.
He remembered.
You never liked sleeping with your hair down. He hadn’t forgotten.
He met your gaze briefly. Something flickered — not tenderness, but something heavier, older.
“I took something earlier,” he said. “But you, on the other hand, have pneumonia. So rest. You’ll feel better after the fluids.”
The next few days blurred.
You slept. Mostly.
Woke only for medicine, for slow sips of broth, for Zayne’s quiet instructions. You tried to get to the bathroom alone. Failed. Tried again. He never mocked you for it. Just kept close enough to catch you if you fell.
Sometimes he sat in the armchair across the room, reading. When you were lucid enough to focus, you asked — weakly, half-asleep:
“Read it out loud?”
He didn’t ask why. He just turned the page. Cleared his throat.
And began.
East of the Sun and West of the Moon.
His voice — calm, measured — filled the room like something remembered, not new. You watched him as he read. The cadence. The precision. The way he breathed between sentences like it mattered.
He read the whole thing. And when it ended, neither of you spoke for a long time.
It was you who finally broke the quiet.
“She breaks the rule,” you whispered. “Lights the candle. Looks at him when she wasn’t supposed to.”
Zayne rested the book on his knee, fingers still hooked between the pages.
“She ruins everything,” he said. Not accusing. Just observing.
You didn’t flinch. “And still goes after him.”
“She wouldn’t have had to, if she’d just listened.”
“She wanted to know him,” you said. “Not just love a shadow.”
He looked at you then. Something unreadable in his expression.
You swallowed, voice barely audible. “She made a mistake. A big one. And she didn’t wait for forgiveness. She fought to make it right.”
Zayne’s gaze dropped. “It was still selfish.”
“So is love,” you murmured.
The fire cracked between you — a sharp snap that echoed through the stillness.
“It’s a strange story,” you added. “The girl disobeys. The prince stays silent. They both fail. And then they both change.”
“And still find each other,” he said, finally. Quiet. Measured.
“But not the same way,” you whispered.
“No,” he agreed. “They come back different. Burned. But still… together.”
Neither of you moved. Neither of you looked away.
A week later, you felt strong enough to make it down the stairs.
The house still smelled like cedar and lemon soap, the way it always had. Dr. Noah’s niece — the woman you had once mistaken for Zayne’s wife — introduced herself properly over herbal tea and folded laundry. Her name was Marianne. She was kind. Warm in that easy, effortless way you’d never mastered.
She adored his daughter.
Your daughter.
They spent hours together — drawing, baking, building tiny snow forts that collapsed within minutes. And every time you watched them, a strange hollowness twisted in your chest.
You studied the girl constantly.
The resemblance, now that you knew, was undeniable. Your eyes. Your cheekbones. Your ridiculous inability to sit still for more than five seconds. But her hair — that inky black — was Zayne’s. And her quiet concentration when she built things from ice with pinched fingers? That was his too.
She was loud. Expressive. Curious. Always moving, always knocking something over. She danced through the house like a falling star — burning too fast, leaving marks.
And she wouldn’t leave you alone.
Every morning, she burst into your room like it was hers. Climbed up beside you. Chattered about everything — school, snow, cartoon cats, some child named Max who was apparently insufferable. And home.
God. Home.
That word stabbed deeper than anything else.
You let her talk. You smiled when you could. But you never reached for her. Never called her by name unless you had to.
You didn’t know how to feel.
Curiosity? Yes. Recognition? Slowly. Love? No. Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
And wasn’t that its own kind of crime?
You moved around her like glass. Like she might break. Or worse — you might.
Then one morning, she stopped mid-sentence. Sat very still beside you, swinging her legs.
“Are you my mommy?”
It hit like a blow.
You froze. Words caught in your throat, the reflex to deny already gathering in your chest.
But you didn’t have to say it.
Zayne appeared in the doorway. One look — that infamous stillness — and the girl backed out of the room, cheeks red, eyes wide. She closed the door softly behind her.
But not before looking at you one last time.
And you knew you’d remember that look for the rest of your life.
You couldn’t breathe.
“I’ll talk to her,” Zayne said, not looking at you. “Make sure she doesn’t bother you again.”
Then — practical, brisk, clinical: “Your labs are stable. Lungs are clear. I scheduled a follow-up ultrasound downtown. As for your heart —”
“Stop.” Your voice cracked. “Just stop.”
You pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapped your arms around them, and began to rock. A motion you didn’t recognize in yourself. Uncontrolled. Unmoored.
“I can’t do this,” you whispered. “I can’t.”
Zayne dropped to his haunches beside you. His hand settled on your knee.
“What was I supposed to say to her?” Your voice was rising now, frantic. “What am I even supposed to feel? I didn’t carry her. I didn’t raise her. I didn’t know she existed. She’s mine but not mine.”
You were trembling now.
“She has my DNA, but I’m not her mother. I’m a stranger. What am I supposed to do with that?”
Zayne didn’t speak. Just stayed there. Then — slowly — his hand slid away from your leg, and he bowed his head, pressing his palms to his face.
He stayed like that for a long time.
And when he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse, uneven.
“Every day,” he said, “I live knowing I did something beautiful and unforgivable at the same time.”
You didn’t move.
“I carry the guilt in every breath,” he said. “But I’d do it again. I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. Not my career. Not my name. Not even forgiveness.”
He looked up at you then.
“If you want to file a complaint,” he said, voice steadying, “if you want to take my license, ruin me — do it. I won’t fight. I’ll take it.”
“But I won’t ever be sorry she exists.”
Your mouth opened. But no words came.
Because something inside you had begun to thaw — not into love, not yet — but into something uglier.
Jealousy.
Jealousy of your own child.
Of how easily she clung to him. Of how naturally he held her. Of the years they’d had.
Without you.
The thought disgusted you. You wanted to slap yourself for even thinking it. You wanted to vanish again, just to avoid what that meant.
But it was there. And it was real.
“What kind of monster do you think I am, Zayne?” you asked, your voice raw, barely more than breath. “You think I came here to file reports? Tear your life apart on principle?”
He didn’t look away. Didn’t flinch.
“You already did that once,” he said, flatly.
You closed your eyes.
“Let’s not start listing sins,” you whispered. “We’ll be here until spring.”
Silence.
You exhaled slowly. “Yes. I left. And not just your life — I detonated my own. There’s no version of this where I walk away clean.”
You glanced toward the door, where her laughter had echoed just minutes ago.
“And if there’s a tiny version of me running through this house, it’s not just your doing. I lit the first match. I made the first cut. Maybe this is the price. The life that formed in the crater we made.”
Zayne turned, finally. Met your eyes.
There were no tears on your face. There hadn’t been for days. But in your chest, you were drowning. He knew it. He saw it.
“I don’t have an answer,” you said. “I don’t know how to stay. And I don’t feel like I have the right to leave. This —” your voice caught, “— this little family of yours… I’m not part of it. I’m just the fracture everything grew around.”
He didn’t argue. He didn’t reach for you.
He just studied your face for a long time, then said, “I can’t choose for you.”
A pause. And then —
“But if you decide to stay… even just to be near her, or me, or neither — on your own terms — then I won’t stop you.”
His voice was steady, but something caught in his throat at the end. Like he almost said more. Like he almost crossed a line that neither of you were ready to touch.
You nodded. You understood.
The door had opened.
Just a little.
And it would’ve been easier, if it were only him. If all you had to do was unlearn the years of distance, relearn the way he breathed, the way he touched, the shape of his voice when he said your name.
If it were only Zayne, you could try. You would try.
But there was her.
The girl who looked like you. Who trusted too easily. Who ran through the house with joy you hadn’t earned.
And she changed everything.
Because love with him had once been fire and failure and rebuilding.
But love with her… It required something else.
Patience. Forgiveness. Humility.
A different kind of bravery.
And if you failed again — you wouldn’t be the only one who paid for it.
So you sat there, still, the weight of the choice pressing against your chest, and thought:
What if I break her? What if I can’t be enough?
Another week passed. Your strength returned. So did the calls.
Work wouldn’t stop. Messages stacked in your inbox like pressure building behind a dam. You extended your leave. Zayne signed the clearance form. You knew he didn’t agree. But he didn’t protest. He just handed it over with that same stillness — the kind that told you: this is your decision now.
Physically, you were fit for the field. Emotionally, you were splinters.
He never said it, but you felt the way he watched you — not with judgment, but with expectation. Waiting. Hoping, maybe, that you'd stop wandering the halls like a ghost with a packed suitcase in her chest.
But the noise in your head never stopped. Not during the day. Not when you slept.
Especially not when you didn’t.
That night, you came down the stairs barefoot, the house asleep around you. Poured yourself a glass of wine. Stared at it. Sipped once.
No.
That wasn’t what you needed.
You left the glass untouched on the counter.
Walked the familiar hallway. Opened his door without knocking.
He was asleep on his back, face turned slightly toward the window. The moonlight cut through the blinds in silver bars, catching in the strands of his hair, casting lines across his throat.
You reached down. Brushed the edge of a curl from his forehead.
His hand caught your wrist before you could blink.
His eyes opened.
He didn’t speak. Your face said everything.
He pulled you down into him without hesitation. No questions. No ceremony.
His hands slid across your skin like he'd never forgotten its topography. His mouth moved from your neck to your shoulder, to the curve of your breast, the lines of your ribs, the hollow of your hip, and lower still.
But not your lips. Still not your lips.
And that — that was the answer.
At dawn, you dressed quietly. Zipped your bag. Didn’t wake him.
Your presence here had been a rupture. But now the world would settle again.
Zayne had his life — built carefully from grief and duty and love. You were an earthquake. He’d survived you once. He didn’t need to do it again.
At the door, your hand on the knob, a small voice stopped you.
“Are you going somewhere?”
You turned slowly.
She stood barefoot in her pajamas, hair a mess, eyes too wide. Her voice held no accusation. Only fact.
You swallowed. “Yes. I… I have to go back.”
“To the hotel?” she asked, stepping closer.
You crouched, tried to smile, tried to hold your own ribs together.
“No. I have a home. A job. Somewhere else.”
She nodded, thinking hard, then: “Then I’ll come with you.”
You blinked. “What?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I’ll come too.”
“No, sweetheart. You can’t. Your dad would be really worried —”
“But you’re my mommy,” she said.
Soft. Certain.
Her small hand came up to your face. Her palm on your cheek burned hotter than the fever ever had.
“I heard you. You and Papa. I saw your picture.”
She reached into her pajama pocket, pulled out something worn and folded.
A photograph.
You and Zayne. Seven years younger. Arms around each other, faces pressed close, eyes alight. You didn’t even remember the moment it was taken.
But she had carried it. Hidden it. Believed it.
You stared at her. At the picture. At those impossible, familiar eyes.
And something inside you cracked.
“Baby,” you said, your voice breaking. “I’m not — I can’t be the mom you think I am. I want to. I do. But I didn’t raise you. I wasn’t there. And I don’t know how to do this right.”
Her lower lip trembled. But she nodded. Like she understood, in the way only children do — by feeling it.
You reached out. Brushed a tear from her cheek.
“Be happy, little one,” you whispered. “That’s all I want for you.”
Then you stood. Opened the door. And walked into the snowlight, where the car already waited.
Zayne couldn’t remember the last time he drove this fast. Especially not with his daughter in the back seat.
She’d been there before he was even fully dressed. Still in socks, wide-eyed, breathless.
“She left,” she said. “Mommy left.”
She’d been crying.
And her tears — that — he would never forgive you for.
He didn’t know what he expected to do when he got there. Look into your eyes? See if your soul was still inside them? Drop to his knees and beg?
A few hours ago, you had still been in his arms. He’d almost believed. Almost let himself be happy again.
He parked illegally, didn’t even glance at the signs. Checked his daughter’s jacket, zipped it tighter, then scooped her into his arms and ran.
The platform was already half-empty.
The train was gone. Five minutes too late.
And something inside him gave way — not with noise, but with silence. A collapsing lung. A skipped heartbeat. A life rerouted.
This was what it would be, then.
A life with a hollow in it. Until the universe finally had the decency to take him.
He heard a soft sound, like water breaking on glass.
At first he thought it was her — his daughter — but she was quiet now. Blinking up at him.
He followed her gaze.
And saw you.
Sitting on your suitcase. Face in your hands. Sobbing like something inside you had torn loose. The tiny snow seal rests on your knees — absurdly delicate against the wreckage of you.
For a heartbeat, he wanted to strangle you. The next — he only wanted to hold you and never let go again.
But he wasn’t alone anymore.
“Go,” he said gently, lowering her to the ground. “She needs you.”
She ran without hesitation.
You didn’t hesitate either — just opened your arms and pulled her in, holding her like you could fold the whole world into that embrace.
He couldn’t hear what you said. It was yours. It was between you.
He waited. Waited until the tears began to fade from your cheeks.
Then stepped closer.
“You chickened out?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” you half-laughed, half-hiccuped. “I got scared you’d never kiss me again.”
He arched a brow, and his look said everything: What, exactly, do you think I spent all of last night doing?
You licked your lips. His shoulders trembled with silent laughter.
“All that?” he said. “A full-scale emotional catastrophe for one unfinished kiss?”
“It’s worse,” you muttered, deadpan. “It’s agony.”
Zayne looked at your daughter, who still clung to your coat. Her eyes darted between you — between home and hope.
He bent down, pressed a folded note of cash into her palm.
“Two hot chocolates,” he whispered. “Get them inside. Mama loves hers with cinnamon.”
She bolted. No questions.
And then his hands were on your face, warm and certain.
“I don’t make a habit of kissing strangers,” he said.
“Zayne —”
“I only kiss one woman.” His voice caught, barely — but it did. “Mine.”
Then he stepped in — deliberate, steady — and kissed you. Not like a doctor. Not like a ghost from your past.
But like a man who remembered every breath you'd ever stolen from him. Like someone claiming what he'd mourned for too long.
His hand slid to your jaw, fingers anchoring just enough to say: You’re not leaving again.
His mouth was warm and certain and slow, like the end of winter breaking. And when you kissed him back — really kissed him — something locked into place.
Not resolution. But return.
He drew back just enough to speak, thumb brushing the wet beneath your eyes.
“Remember this,” he whispered. “These lips aren’t just for kissing. They’re for questions. Even the scary ones.”
You nodded. Then, just barely —
“Then let me ask one.”
Your hand rose to his jaw, your fingers brushing that impossible edge.
“Is there any chance,” you whispered, “that you could… ever love me again?”
Zayne looked at you.
Then shook his head — not in denial, but disbelief. At the question. At you.
“I never stopped.”
He took your suitcase. Slipped his arm around your waist.
Together, you walked back to your daughter. To cocoa. To warmth. To the beginning.
#love and deepspace#lads#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace#sylus lads#lads caleb#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads xavier#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#zayne x mc#rafayel x mc#sylus and mc#caleb x you#xavier x you#zayne x you#rafayel x you#sylus x you#storytelling#fanfic#fanfiction
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⋆. 𐙚 ̊ how they kiss you — love and deepspace
including. zayne, xavier, rafayel, sylus, caleb
genre. fem! reader, making out (quite sexual), body fondling, established relationship
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ zayne
there's always a subtle silence before you happen to feel it— you know? the way zayne watches your lips like he's studying anatomy again— not clinically, silly! but reverently, like he might carve the shape of your mouth into his memory.
so precise, so devout, it borders on madness. soaked in tension and lust— quite obsessive, don't you agree? almost grotesque in how deeply he desired you.
the man leans in, close enough for his breath to ghost over your skin as he abruptly stops, catching himself in the same course of action he tends to take, every damn time.
zayne held himself back like the act of restraint was the only thing keeping him from collapsing into you completely, succumbing to those pretty, warm lips of yours as something deep inside of him broke that night.
he's going deeper before pressing into your lips at last— his psyche, his shadows, the way the hunger on his tongue felt different than anyone else's as he cups your face like he's afraid of shattering it, mouth crashing into yours.
not messy, not wild, instead, devastatingly precise— and every stroke of his warm muscle felt like it's been rehearsed in secret, fantasized about in sinful dreams as his hand slides down your throat, thumb resting on your pulse like he's checking it— not for medical reasons, but for control.
the kiss deepens and sharpens at the edges of each lap and suckle of your bottom lip between his teeth as his body presses you to the nearest surface with a force just edging on subtle bruising— and when your fingers suddenly thread into his hair to taste him more, when you pull him harder into you— he groans low, a sound rattling from somewhere hidden and forbidden, yes, like something sacred within him was being exposed.
and well, in that exposé, zayne finds a terrible, exquisite relief in each slip and slide of your tongues intertwining, bodies stroking each other as though this was the only way he's ever known how to feel alive.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ xavier
xavier touches you first— although not to grope, yet to ground himself with his palm on your shaking hip while his other hand brushes against your soft cheek, and that look on him which was revealed next haunted you— like he's seeing a future he doesn’t believe he deserves.
slow, searching, his lips coax across your bottom lip, the tension behind each suckle on it unbearable as he continues to trace yours like he's adamant to make it everlasting. your boyfriend grunted like restraint stretched thin inside his frame, like one more kiss might tip him over the edge into something more, well, feral? ugh, but he holds himself back of course.
yet just barely.
those kisses you shared weren't just random pecks here and there, they felt like confessions, truly, like a collapse of two loving hearts forming a dance of possession— each movement sharpening to the truth of what this relationship meant to him, all of it rooted in desire and lust, shadowed with emotional gravity and physical intensity of hands squeezing your flesh.
and you felt it, all of it— the tremble in his fingers, the quiet threat of his teeth brushing just behind every soft tug at your lip, as though even the smallest motion could unravel him further.
you arch into him, obediently feeling the low, guttural sound that escaped his throat— a half moan, a sound so faint it could almost be mistaken for a prayer, whispered to no god at all, but to the madness he cannot escape.
your lips stay close at all times, breathing hard against each other with foreheads pressed together, "i don't want to hurt you," his voice, thick with restraint, was taken hostage somewhere between a confession and collapse, yet his hands disobey him at last— sliding beneath your shirt with a quiet desperation, mapping the ridges of your shape like he's meant to be.
truly, if you let him keep going with those addictive kisses, he'll worship you until he forgets where he ends and you begin.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ rafayel
hands in your hair, rafayel's lips were already open and panting, breath warm and uneven and jaw slacked, well, it's all then and there with no waiting, no warning— just the sudden, dizzying sensation of being devoured by the man you loved.
his tongue was everywhere on you— teasing you, curling and invading your mouth as he moans into your parted lips, pulling your lower lip between his teeth and laughing when you gasp out in slight shock— quite literally, the man loved to push you over the edge, he lived for the sweet, little responses you'd grace him with in return.
from being tangled in your hair to squeezed within your clothes, rafayel slides down further to cup your ass, squeezing the addicting mounds of flesh as you wince into his hold, "ugh, you taste like a bad decision," he smirks, whispering against your mouth, yet already leaning right back in.
before you could even response to him he kisses you harder, deeper, lapping and lapping and lapping his hefty tongue against your own as your hips were grinding against him just enough to make the room spin and your eyes roll back into your skull.
without a doubt, every second with him felt like falling and screaming and shattering all at once— fast at that, disoriented and inevitable when all you needed is for him to imbed you with his scent until there was nothing left of you to claim.
it's there when you realize that rafayel tasted like the sweetest sin that has ever existed, not kissing to seduce, but to ruin— and make sure you’re begging him for it.
for a slight second he pulls away just enough to look at your lips and what he's done to them— and would you look at that? your boyfriend adored the lusting sight of swollen, glistening, needy lips parted and puffed up, "baby, you're gonna be the death of me."
rafayel says it like it's a promise.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ sylus
you can’t call this a kiss— no, not with the way sylus's mouth drags across yours like he's already lost the war against wanting you.
to call it a claim would be closer though, but even that sounds too civilized. there is nothing civil about the way his tongue parts your lips— wet, scorching, impatient, nothing gentle in the sting of his teeth catching your mouth, just enough to pull breath from your lungs and copper to your tongue.
he tastes it— even better, tastes you— and it makes something violent bloom in his chest as he growls out embarrassingly loud, not like an animal but like a man who's tasted divinity and was furious that he ever lived without it in the past.
his grip on your hips tighten as he drags you against him, feeling you up like shame didn't exist in his vocabulary, in fact, it quite literally didn't.
not a flicker of hesitation, not even the illusion of pause— only the dreadful inevitability of a hunger given form around his tongue, his lips moving with the certainty of something long premeditated, as if his body had been waiting its entire life for permission to devour you.
he doesn’t ask for allowance to be rougher, sylus knows he doesn’t need to.
his mouth licks into yours with a frenzied rhythm, like he’s trying to bury every unspeakable thought inside your throat as every shove, every bitten gasp, every ragged exhale that leaves his body was a hidden confession disguised as a dominating sin.
the man was not delicate. he was not kind. but he was true.
terrifyingly, brutally true.
furthermore, his tongue traces a wet line from your bottom lip, creeping toward your jaw, then dipping lower to your neck— infused with desperation and something dangerously raw.
his teeth find your skin at last— not out of need, no, but out of some dark impulse deep hidden beneath his heart, as if marking you up was the only act left that can prove he existed, that he's here, tethered to a body that's already unraveling.
"you have no fucking idea," he pants, his breath a jagged rhythm against your skin as if the act of inhaling and exhaling was the only thing that kept him secured— each exhalation a tremor, a faint admission of the madness threatening to spill over.
he smirks, "what you’ve done to me."
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ caleb
in the language of a yearning man, caleb doesn't speak— instead the silence clung to him like a second skin, as if words would shatter whatever fragile shell still held him upright.
as an alternative, his hands found your waist as he exhales deeply from his mouth when he feels your body— yet tentative at first, but with a pressure that deepens and sharpens, afterwards he leans in to kiss you.
not in a haste, no, not like a man chasing basic pleasure, but like a man aching with his mouth against yours— slow, burning, unbearably tender.
his lips taste of quiet torment, of years spent repressing the thing now trembling beneath his touch and the longer it goes on, the more unraveled he becomes— now here, his breath falters, his jaw tenses and when his tongue brushes up against your own needy one, it is with such aching slowness that it felt like a sin.
he grips your jaw softly, almost fearfully, as if he cannot believe you're letting him touch you as his other hand slips beneath the waistband of your pants— fingertips skimming over your bare flesh and squeezing at it like he's utterly worshipping you.
more and more, you want more but the kiss breaks open, becoming wet and open-mouthed, desperate and messy and ugh— caleb cannot stop and neither can you, even less when you whine at him all quietly and overstimulated, the kind of sound which made a man fall on his knees.
okay, he should pull away, correct? uh, before you'll both be unable to stop and take it further, you see the truth in that?
well, he doesn’t.
and neither do you.

©2025 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace fluff#love and deep space x reader#lads x reader#lads x you#love and deepspace x you#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#rafayel x you#sylus x you#love and deep space fluff#love and deep space smut#lads smut#sylus smut#zayne smut#rafayel smut
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Hello, Dove!! If you're comfortable with me asking this, do you think any of the lads men are into filming themselves with MC during the act? I can picture them being open to sending/ receiving nudes, but then I started to think about the video taking too, and I honestly am not sure, lol. What do you think?
Love your writing!!
[ hi hi hi pookie! Yes, of course I can do that! thank you for the request!! I hope it's to your liking! ]
Alright so Zayne is not into the filming itself, but! He loooooves the risky photos!
I've mentioned before that if you send him a photo of yourself wearing lingerie this man is going craaazy. You got him gripping his chair and praying to the heavens above for help.
He is not confident at all in sending anything back though.
Zayne asks his partner to tell him how you would like to see him, if you even want pictures of him at all too, and is so awkward about them.
Personally? He would choose no pics of himself if he could for a very long time.
Then, one day, out of the blue, you would receive a treat of him fresh out of the shower in just a towel. Baby steps, yk.
Oh boy, this one.
Rather than filming Rafayel is the type that would prefer to be filmed.
Push him down on his back while you're riding him and put his desperate, hungry expression on blast.
He thrives on the feeling of your eyes only on him and the extra attention the camera brings him.
Part of him feels very dirty about it and even if he would never admit it out loud that's his favorite part.
He texts you inappropriate photos during inappropriate times on purpose just to watch you squirm from the other side of the room when you open your phone.
What can he say, film making is a form of art and Rafayel loves being your muse.
He is into it the MOST out of all the other LIs.
Caleb has a hobby of recording and taking pictures in general, though most of the time it's all centered on you.
He has endless albums of you. I mean, more than enough for him to make a full art gallery just of you.
Filming you is his guilty pleasure; Getting the right angles that shows your face clearly when your eyes roll back in pleasure, flushed and so, so incredibly beautiful.
On the other hand, he is just as obsessed with getting the two of you together on camera. Seeing himself being the one who makes you feel so damn good, the reason behind those sweet cries of yours, is something he can't resist.
He's dreamed about it for so long, let him have this.
Those recordings are so well protected and hidden that the world could end and they would not see the light of day.
On an extra note, Caleb is too possessive and protective to enjoy risky pictures to their fullest extent. What if someone sees your pretty self on his screen? Nuh huh, no sir. He is NOT sharing.
Sylus is....technologically challenged. In more ways than one.
This sweet, sweet man just can't record to save his life.
The focus is off, the camera keeps shaking and the worst part of it all in his opinion? He does not like to have his hand busy with anything that isn't you during sex.
Which meaaans: Tripod!
At first he doesn't truly see the fun of the film by itself even though he understands the concept of it. Still, he is big into BDSM (iykyk) so he can get behind the idea if you ask him.
With a few tries he'd actually develop a taste for it and come to enjoy it quite a lot.
Furthermore, Sylus would invest in additional settings to make the recordings more pleasant to the eye too such as ambiance, lighting, sound quality and ECT.
Now Xavier is the type that wouldn't do it himself, but he would to let you if you opened the camera during sex.
He'd be slowly thrusting into you while he had his arms wrapped around your waist from behind to spoon you.
When he notices the camera pointed at him he'd lean down to hide his face into your shoulder and mumble some gibberish you can't understand.
Xavier doesn't want his face in the shot so the recordings are either on a lower angle where's his face is covered or with only your face in it.
He does enjoy it though! The camera makes him even more motivated to get you to moan louder.
You will often catch him later on watching and rewatching the videos on his phone like it's the morning news. He has no shame whatsoever.
#love and deepspace#lads#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#lnds#lnds x reader#lads caleb#caleb love and deepspace#caleb x reader#caleb lnds#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#zayne lads#zayne lnds#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x reader#lads xavier#lnds xavier#lads rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x reader#lnds rafayel#lnds sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus x reader#lads sylus#sylus smut#caleb smut#rafayel smut#xavier smut
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Superstar
You invite the boys to one of your concerts

Buys out the merch stand
Sings your songs louder than everyone else
Definitely gets tickets in the pit (even though you told him he’d be backstage)
Brags that you’re his famous girlfriend (even though he is also famous)
You couldn’t stop smiling as you did your choreography across the stage. Rafayel was the loudest in the crowd making some of your other fans look at him crazy and others sing too. He was supposed to be backstage but he told you that he wanted the full experience which you thought he was crazy for. You felt it would’ve been the same but he didn’t. Everyone was fangirling when he turns to them excitedly pointing to you screaming, “That’s my girlfriend!” Many who follow you on social media believed him some just rolled their eyes thinking he was just another fan.
“Before we end the show I want to thank my wonderful boyfriend for supporting me tonight!” You blow him a kiss making him swoon as the other fans catch him fanning him off. You simply roll your eyes waving goodbye to everyone.
He simply could not stop telling you how good your show was.

Is backstage nodding his head to your songs
His favorite song is the one you wrote about your relationship with him
He helps you get ready before the show (he’s very particular about what accessories go with which outfit)
Gets flustered when you reveal your unreleased song about him (you blew him a kiss before starting)
You didn’t think Zayne was going to basically be your manager when you invited him but with him here your show ran smoother than it ever had before. You occasionally look over to him as you perform making him give you a small wave. It warmed your heart that he could make it and it felt like you performed better too.
“Okay I want to give you guys something special and no I don’t mean my boyfriend.” You laugh along with the crowd.
“I wrote this song just for him. He’s been amazing tonight and has helped me pull this show off so let’s show him some appreciation!” The crowd roars. You look at him with a smile before blowing him a kiss. He turns his gaze elsewhere but you could see how flushed he was even in this dim light. This would soon been on the internet and talked about for years to come.

Is your biggest fan
Basically your security (even though you hired some)
Stays by you as you do V.I.P meet and greets
Fans know him very well due to him always being around (they chant his name when you say he’s here)
“Caleb be nice.” You scold him as he pushed a fan away from the line for trying to offer home baked goods.
“You never know who’s got parasocial tendencies, pipsqueak.” He retorts before throwing away the container.
“You could at least give her the container back.” You narrow your eyes at him as he digs through the trash to get the container back.

Prefers not to be seen by your fans
Could sleep during the concert due to how beautiful your voice sounds
Does a small dance to your upbeat songs
Forgets he’s getting special treatment and tries to make you both leave early (he wants to avoid traffic)
“Xavier I have a signing to do before I leave.” You giggle tugging back.
“But what about traffic?” He worries, it was like his doggy ears slouched.
“Xavier…my beloved we leave before everyone else.” He blinks slowly at you before nodding.
“Oh.”

He spoils you and the staff the night of the show
Pulls you in private to shower you with affection (for good luck)
Feels like a proud spouse when you preform
Sings along to your songs (he’s pitchy but you don’t mind)
“Sylus I have to go on stage!” You whisper-shout at him.
“Just one more.” He mumbles before kissing you again…and again…and again.
“I can’t postpone it any longer than this!”
I liked this one a little bit ngl
#lads x you#sylus love and deepspace#caleb love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#lads#lnds#l&ds#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#love & deepsace x reader#love and deepspace x reader#pookie n’ lads °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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Xavier and MC volunteering at a daycare
Xavier: Who's the better fighter? Hunter Xavier or Lumiere?
Kids: LUMIERE!!!
Xavier: Why would you say that?
Kid: Cause he can travel as fast as the light and he has a big sword! And sometimes he creates a portal and teleports behind the Wanderers and slash them until they die! And he's so strong he can knock them over just by plunging his sword to the ground!
Xavier pushes the kid off their bean bag chair
Xavier: See? Who needs a sword? I push you over just with my bare hand.
MC: XAVIER!!! This is exactly why no daycares accept our applications anymore!
#love and deepspace#lads#incorrect quotes#crack post#lads mc#lnds mc#love and deepspace mc#love and deepspace xavier#lads xavier#lnds xavier#love and deepspace lumiere#lads lumiere#lnds lumiere#xavier x mc#xavier x reader#xavier vs lumiere#jealous xavier
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Kitchen Sex with Xavier as MC making breakfast after a long time making love last night.
A Different Kind of Breakfast

Warning: Cunnilingus, kitchen sex,
AN: *Looks at Xavier* Sir, we eat here. Absolutely not. No sex in the kitchen...I'm just kidding! Kitchen sex for my sleepy boy!!! (I almost added a part where you're wearing an apron and he goes under it to eat you out but decided against it. That felt more like a Caleb move than an Xavier one. Maybe I'll write a series for all of the boys.)
Xavier x Reader
You hear Xavier coming before you see him. Usually he's really quiet but in the mornings when he knows that he's safe and secure in either your apartment or his, you can hear the scuff of his bunny slippers as he comes from the bedroom to the kitchen.
His hair is still a mess. He rubs his eyes and yawns. He walks behind you slowly before wrapping his arms around you and settling himself in place to look over your shoulder.
You shift the eggs in the pan, trying to get breakfast ready when a very cheeky hand comes up to cup your chest.
You immediately swat at it and it stops. Only to come back up a couple seconds later and start palming at your chest again. You purse your lips. "Xavier, I'm cooking."
"I can see that. It smells good." He runs his nose down your neck, gently nuzzling you. "You smell good in general. Like our bed and me." He presses a kiss into your skin. One kiss becomes two and then three and then he's sucking a dark hickey into your skin.
Your shoulders relax and you let him press more kisses into your skin. He reaches around you to turn off the burner before the eggs can burn.
Grabbing your hips, he pulls you backwards against him. You can feel how hard he is already. He lets out a soft sigh as you roll your hips against him.
Slipping his fingers past your waistband, he slides your pants and underwear down. A firm hand guides you to the counter to lean over. The other hand raises your hips to get a good look at you.
"You're still a mess from last night." He said. He grabs a handful of your ass and looks at your wet hole. Shifting his own pants down, he pulls himself out and slides inside of you easy.
You sigh, leaning against the kitchen as he fucks you at a leisurely pace. There's no meetings to get to, no wanderers to kill. Just you, him, and a quiet morning where you can enjoy each other.
Xavier leans over your back pressing kisses the skin peaking out from the collar hem of your shirt. He rests his forehead against your back and just rolls his hips against your body, just taking in the way that your bodies fit perfectly together.
His fingers press into the meat of your hips as he slowly begins to fuck you faster. You reach around for something to hold onto and grab the kitchen counter as he drives into you.
A couple of the forks and spatulas on the counter fall off but neither of you notice as his cock hits that sweet spot inside of you that makes you see stars.
He makes sure you cum first. When you do, your back bows and you clench around him. He cums soon after filling you up to the point that you can feel it already starting to drip down your legs.
With a soft kiss pressed into your shoulder, he gently cleans you both up with a tea towel. He'll toss it into the hallway closet hamper after and pick up the falling utensils.
You finish breakfast with shaky legs and he sets the table. By the time you're both done eating, he's yawning again. He'll try to get you to cuddle with him on the couch but be warned. He'll definitely be trying to sneak in a round two while you're snuggling.
(Requests are Open!!)
#lads#lads headcanons#lads headcanon#Minataur writes#lads imagine#Love and deepspace#Love and deep space#lads fanfic#lads fanfiction#loveanddeepspace#l&ds#lnds#Love and deepspace smut#lads smut#lnds smut#l&ds smut#xavier smut#lads xavier#xavier love and deepspace#lnds xavier#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#xavier x reader
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