#and he ends up being something else

[teecupangel]

What if Desmond, Ezio, Edward, Connor, and Haythem ended up in the witcher universe where they meet Geralt?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zswe2lSkID4&pp=ygUJV2l0Y2hlciAz

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5F6EJmTk80g&pp=ygURV2l0Y2hlciAzIGdlcmFsdCA%3D

Okay, since the two youtube links (especially the first part) focus more on the first part of Witcher 3, that’s where we’ll focus the setup of this idea.

So we’ll throw them in White Orchard, the first ‘area’ of the game. And this is a world currently embroiled in war and conquest, not a pretty sight, that’s for sure. Their main priority would be to find a way to get back to their world because those monsters and all these unfamiliar names? Yup, definitely not their world.

For this scenario, let’s say we’ll take each of them during the ‘epilogue’ of their story. For Desmond, that’s when he’s just died after saving the world. For Ezio, it has to be after he finds Altaïr’s Library (maybe even after he retires from the mentor role). For Edward, it will be around the time of the epilogue showing him and his children in the theatre. Ratonhnhaké:ton’s would be after finding out his tribe had left without telling him anything. As for Haytham… Well, Haytham would be taken just after he dies.

So there’s gonna be pure awkwardness between Haytham and Ratonhnhaké:ton, not to mention that he doesn’t necessarily lie and say that he’s actually an Assassin to his own father but he definitely didn’t tell him outright that he’s a Templar or correct his assumption.

Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton notice it right away and they both kept quiet for different reasons. Ratonhnhaké:ton believes that the truth should come from Haytham and not anybody else. Desmond says nothing because he’s following Ratonhnhaké:ton’s lead.

So, they’re stranded in an unknown place and, strangely they can understand each other and the other people they talk to (who thinks they’re traveling mercenaries of all things). According to Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton, they hear everyone speaking their native language (not English) while Desmond and Haytham hear English instead.

So something definitely fishy is going on, that’s for sure. For now, they need to stay together and keep their heads down while looking for information.

Ezio is their de-facto leader with Desmond serving more of a second-in-command role. Funnily enough, Desmond doesn’t notice it as all he’s doing (in his eyes) is keeping everyone from doing dumb things (and he’s weirded out by the fact that he understands Edward’s personality so easily even when he shouldn’t know him at all). Ratonhnhaké:ton mostly keeps to himself but follows Ezio’s orders whenever he must. He only speaks up when he believes he has something worthwhile to say but he’s closer to Desmond than to anyone else, mostly because he knows Desmond understands him without him trying to ‘speak up’ as Haytham likes to say. Edward knows Haytham is hiding something but he’s waiting for his son to say it so he doesn’t push. He tries to connect with Ratonhnhaké:ton as well but mostly, he sticks by Haytham because he can feel the slight animosity between Haytham and Ratonhnhaké:ton (and Desmond who is in Ratonhnhaké:ton’s corner and who is also questioning why Haytham is with them and not… someone worthier in Desmond’s eyes). Haytham plays the devil’s advocate and keeps them focused on their goal of finding a way out even though the urge to help and build their own Brotherhood as a way to help the people of this wartorn land was definitely building on the surface, no matter how much Haytham tries to snuff it out.

By the time Geralt and Vesemir reached White Orchard, Haytham had given up and they have a budding Brotherhood already set up. The inn the two witchers go to is actually the first bureau they built and Desmond serves as the ‘bartender’ (with Edward playing the owner). Geralt and Vesemir are surprised by how polite everyone was but they both know something is wrong.

Something is definitely strange and they’re not sure what it is yet.

So the inn they go to is witcher-friendly and they learn about how the griffin that attacked them will ‘be taken care of’.

“So there’s a witcher here already?” Geralt asked curiously.

Desmond kept smiling politely as he replied vaguely, “We deal with our own problems.”

And that only makes Geralt wary because a lot of people die when they deal with problems outside of their ‘range’.

Geralt goes to fight the Griffin still, especially after receiving the ‘request’ from the Nilfgaardians. During his fight, a group of five hooded figures helps him out and Geralt is impressed by their coordination. It was clear that three of them were more inexperienced but the other two could definitely handle their own.

Together, they all defeat the griffin and Geralt tries to find out who they are. The two most experienced of the group talk to him, telling him about how they were simply a band of ‘samaritans’ and they don’t mind if Geralt takes the head as a trophy as long as they can share what they can harvest from the carcass.

Geralt knows they’re hiding something and tries to get it out of them by using Axii but then he feels something block him. It wasn’t just that his Axii was too weak… something about these two hooded figures blocked Axii specifically.

Another curiosity that makes Geralt wary.

Anyway, the thing with the Nilfgaardians happened as it did in the game and Geralt said nothing about the hooded figures, although he has heard the whispers of the Nilfgaardians guards talking about how they were being attacked by hooded figures, taking their supplies and such. They seem to believe they’re a band of rebels, and might even be remnants of the Temerian army with how organized and strategic the attacks were.

Geralt returns to White Orchards to tell Vesemir what he found out but stops when he recognizes one of the patrons. He sits on the other side of that person and asks him straight out if he’s the leader of the rebel army making the Nilfgaardians’ life miserable.

Ezio (who had been with Ratonhnhaké:ton to assist and gauge their recruits’ skills in the Griffin fight) simply smiles and asks Geralt if he knows how to play Gwent. Geralt tries to push the issue and Ezio tells him he’d talk if they play.

And that is how Geralt learned how to play Gwent in this one because Gwent is an integral part of Witcher lore, damn it.

And Ezio does talk. Not about everything, of course, but enough for Geralt to understand that they’re not necessarily an army nor are they truly allied with the Temerian army at all, but they’re more… on the side of the people.

Their conversation is cut when they hear that Nilfgaardians are outside and they’re looking for the Witchers and…

The ‘Prophet’.

Geralt goes outside to find out what’s the problem now while Ezio and Desmond both looked at one another because only a few people know that Ezio was Desmond’s Prophet and all those people shouldn’t be in this world. Not even the Kenways know about Ezio’s title as the prophet.

They don’t go outside, of course, that would be too risky.

Until Desmond saw the man next to a woman with black hair and purple eyes currently talking to Geralt.

Before Ezio could stop him, Desmond opened the inn doors loudly and ran outside as he shouts the name of the man next to Yennefer of Vengerberg.

“Altaïr!”

.

… you might have excluded Altaïr in the ask, nonny, but it’s me. I’ll include him anyway XD

.

Unorganized Notes:

So this could be a case of more Assassin protagonists getting booted into Witcher 3 but not in the same place as Desmond and the others or Altaïr could have been a special case and got booted near Yennefer for some reason.

Altaïr and Yennefer do not necessarily get along. They’re both stubborn and, really, just allying with the Nilfgaardians for a bit irritated Altaïr.

Unfortunately for him, he and Yennefer needed to ally up while he looks for people ‘like him’ because he holds an important piece of information.

The Wild Hunt is looking not just for Ciri but for someone else. They’re hunting Altaïr because they say he ‘knows’ who they’re looking for. They share the same stench after all.

So it’s more of the enemy of my enemy is my ally deal between him and Yennefer.

Altaïr believes it’s Ezio, the prophet, that the Wild Hunt wants. Ezio believes it’s Desmond they want because why would they want the prophet when the chosen one (which sounds like what this ‘Ciri’ is as well) is with them as well?

This does end with Altaïr joining Desmond and the others and they decide to leave White Orchards after they got chased by the Wild Hunt.

They start building bureaus all over while keeping hidden from the Wild Hunts so they see Geralt from time to time, acting more like reoccurring NPCs in Geralt’s story.

Altaïr stole a few of Yennefer’s magic books. Yennefer knows and made sure Altaïr could only take the ones she didn’t mind losing. Mostly the basic spellbook and grimoires and maybe a copy of bestiaries and such.

Fuck it, Altaïr learns magic. He’s weirdly good at it. The others also learn a bit of magic with varying degrees of success and ease. Desmond is good at it as well but everyone believes it’s because Desmond is good at anything he does while Desmond believes it’s because of his connection to Altaïr (the Bleeding Effect). It’s not.

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[halflifebutawesome]

I am a good person. I am a powerful person, I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature, good and evil have nothing to do with it.

[daily-sifloop]

Kisses!!! Please!!!!!! They deserve it

day 11: behind the scenes

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Market based mistakes.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[dailyloopdeloop]

loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask

DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars

[epicfirestormer]

Will never get over how Starscream and Skyfire's relationship is always doomed. There's never an iteration of them where they both stay on the same side at the end. They always end up being against each other, tearing each other apart (whether intentionally or not). They always end up losing each other, be it by a snowstorm, by the war, or by death itself. They never receive a happy ending together, one if not both of them is doomed to suffer.

Skyfire is doomed to be an Autobot, by forces out of his control. Starscream is doomed to be an Decepticon, by his own self destructive tendencies. They are both doomed, because of who they are. They always try to save the other, in their own way. But it never works. They are doomed to fail, whether they stay together or not.

[brother-emperors]

I love how much Lucullus can't stand Pompey, and also this

Pompey the Great: A Political Biography, Robin Seager

with something from this thrown in for extra flavor

Crassus and Pompey, on the other hand, ridiculed Lucullus for giving himself up to pleasure and extravagance, as if a luxurious life were not even more unsuitable to men of his years than political and military activities.

Plutarch, Lucullus

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

[gracelesstars]

"Back when you first came into my life, I recalled a place that I knew as a child A special place One that I held close to my heart Won’t you lead me in a dance down this winding road where light and shadow entwine to take hold of the thoughts of the one left far behind? Know that, sometimes, I want to turn around and see the things that I’ve passed on the journey, but know with love on my side, with courage and pride, I’ll fight I will carry on"

R.I.P. Akira Toriyama

[heybiji]

Roshan walks with the two Potts, gazing around at the fields and forests painted in warm colors by the setting sun. He remarks, "It is a lovely view from here."

Gazing outward, past the broken walls he had put up 20 years ago, Arthund nods and says, "Forgot. Forgot how... how pretty it all is."

I recently finished running an original oneshot for some friends, The Reaching Woods. It was a story about a little village surrounded by a big wall and the nearby forest's sudden overgrowth threatening to crush it all. It was also a story about blame and guilt.

Arthund Potts, when we met him, could barely speak at all. Too many years spent drinking and weeping. If he was even conscious he was all grunts and sloppy gestures. The scene above was at the end of the oneshot (okay, eighteenshot), once the party returned from the dark, evil woods.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

assorted scribbles and Love Bites!!!!

[froschli96]

You know what, fuck it, I have to speak my truth! (this is gonna be a rant, so anyone who actually likes assassin's creed revelations and/or the secret crusade, be warned or maybe don't read this at all)

remember how altaïr talks to king richard at the end of ac1, and richard is like "[humans] come into the world kicking and screaming, violent and unstable. it is what we are. we cannot help ourselves."? and how altaïr answers "no. we are what we choose to be." and how that ACTUALLY has meaning bc he himself was "violent and unstable" at the beginning of the game but he has learned and is now CHOOSING to be a better person who cares about others and humanity at large? remember how his calmness and gentleness was something that he ACQUIRED over the course of the story?

and remember how in revelations they then suddenly had a PRE-AC1 altaïr say about the first of his targets "no man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness." and be all wise and calm and collected during a nice little chat with al mualim, who suddenly acts all fatherly? (like, this is suddenly supposed to be a positive relationship? what??)

also, during the confession the target says to altair: "you put too much faith in the hearts of men, altaïr. [...] humans are weak, base, and petty." and altaïr answers: "no. our creed is evidence to the contrary." KJASJFJDKL???? like, it’s almost insulting how close this exchange is to the one with richard. you know, the one that was actually earned after a whole game of character development. like WTF??? cool congrats now that development means nothing. like, apparently that was just altaïr reverting BACK to being the exemplary assassin who understands and believes in the creed that he was apparently just born as. (i also hate how having a young inexperienced altaïr saying this implies that altaïr's faith in humanity is a sign of naivete instead of a sign of the wisdom he has gained after being confronted with counter arguments for a whole game, and also something that distinguishes the assassins from the templars who use humanity's supposed wickedness to justify controlling them like in AC1, but whatever)

altaïr’s development in AC1 mattered BECAUSE he is not NATURALLY a good person, it actually said something about humanity's capacity for both bad AND good and how humans don't have to be forced to be good through mind control bc they can by their own free will choose to be better when taught how and when allowed the freedom to grow. but no. apparently altaïr has just always been calm, wise and gentle. and he just sort of forgot about that during AC1 bc…. ? bc of adha?? bc of abbas???

oh don’t get me started on the whole abbas thing. (it doesnt even make sense that abbas is so hung up about his father and "his family’s honor", like what about the whole point of al mualim not allowing parents to be close to their children bc it would make them weak? like, my dude, you’re not supposed to HAVE any family aside from the brotherhood)

they used the throwaway character that had like 5 lines and made him into altaïr’s main antagonist in revelations… like, abbas wasn’t supposed to be this ONE dude who had personal beef with altaïr, he was just supposed to show how while altaïr’s revered by many, a lot of his brothers also hate him, bc 1) altaïr is a shitty person at this point and 2) bc there’s no real feeling of community and family in this version of the brotherhood, but just a pervasive sense of competition and jealousy — these assassins don’t care about their goal of safeguarding humanity bc they’re too hung up on petty squabbles and divided by rivalries (you know, the things that made malik hate altaïr even before solomon’s temple and that he overcomes in the end which enables him to forgive and to reconcile with altaïr so they can work together and stop al mualim? (you ever just think about "we are one. as we share the glory of our victories, so too should we share the pain of our defeat. in this way we grow closer. we grow stronger." and cry? bc i do. all the time. malik, the man that you are))

and now abbas is altaïr’s childhood best friend turned lifelong enemy?? like, bowden bent over backwards to come up with an explanation for why altaïr is an arrogant ass at the beginning of AC1, when the explanation is right there: he was raised to kill without asking questions and was constantly praised for how good he is at murder, which resulted in him becoming arrogant and disregarding human life. like, it doesn’t have to be some shakespearean family feud type shit. and guess what, this "simple" explanation actually plays into the story’s themes, who’da thunk!

(like, abbas might not have been a "fleshed out" character in AC1, but he had a specific function and now that function is gone. mr bowden, mr mcdevitt, you know characters are allowed to simply exist to tell us something about their worlds and the systems they live in and sometimes that’s more important and also more interesting than having every single character have a detailed backstory to explain all their behaviors, right?)

with all of this revelations loses all nuance in regards to the levantine brotherhood and also the creed in general. like, altaïr being a master assassin at the beginning despite being a terrible person and not actually understanding the creed is a criticism of the brotherhood and the creed itself. like, it said something about the order that someone like altaïr was able to get that high in rank, simply bc he's good at killing, which also tells us what is considered important in the al mualim era assassin order. when you make altaïr’s arrogance the result of his personal conflicts instead of how we was raised by a brotherhood that only valued one's ability to kill, you lose that characterization of the assassin order itself!

and by suddenly making al mualim a semi good "father figure" you also downplay his manipulation of not only altaïr but all those under his care. (altaïr says something about al mualim being "as a father" to him exactly twice in the codex, but he doesn’t mean by that that he WAS a father to him, what he means is that he was the CLOSEST THING he had bc HE DID NOT HAVE PARENTS, not because his mother died in childbirth and his father was executed when he was young btw, BUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALLOWED, like his parents actually lived but weren’t allowed to be close to him, he says he came to view al mualim’s "weak and dishonest" love as enough and even better BECAUSE HE HAD NOTHING ELSE, BECAUSE AL MUALIM ISOLATED HIS ASSASSINS FROM THEIR FAMILIES. al mualim "loved" him bc he was good at killing people for him! hm, i wonder if this could be trying to say anything about cults and indoctrination and the inherent contradiction in fighting for peace and free will by taking children away from their parents and raising them to become killers?? like, altaïr wasn't ~the special orphan boy~ taken in by al mualim bc his father died a hero's death, it was "the way of the order" to have al mualim be the closest thing to a parental figure for everyone to ensure absolute loyalty! altaïr saying al mualim was like his father is not supposed to make you go "oh, he must have actually been a good guy for altaïr to consider him a father", it should make you go "oh that's kinda fucked up that he considers the dude who made him into a killing machine and who manipulated him a sort of father figure"!)

and then in revelations they suddenly portray that relationship as positive and healthy??? like, it would be one thing to give it some nuance by delving into the psychology behind al mualim’s "love" and maybe showing how al mualim did care about altair in a complicated, fraught sort of way (like, you know, there’s a lot of interesting things you could say about al mualim at several points addressing altaïr as "my child" in AC1 and how that parallels Garnier referring to the people he drugged and abused as his "children", and what that says about how the templars view the people who they say they want to save and in whose best interests they supposedly act (in any case, al mualim doesn’t use that phrase because he has any real parental feelings but rather to patronize and to invalidate any objections, like in a "mother knows best" way))

but they even fucking DARE to parallel that relationship with that of altaïr and darim in revelations, by having the reflection in the puddle of darim hugging altaïr showing altaïr hugging al mualim…. like their relationship wasn’t inherently abusive but just tragically cut short because al mualim was just "corrupted by the apple"… like WHAT???? so it’s not the very real problems like grooming, manipulation and indoctrination and the hierarchical structure of the brotherhood itself (all of which are antithetical to the assassin ideology), it was just the evil apple all along. great. that’s DEFINITELY a lot more interesting.

god im sorry i really dont want to spread negativity but this is driving me INSANE. like, somebody please tell me im not crazy bc i feel like somehow most of the fandom is in agreement that revelations and the secret crusade have better storytelling and characterization than ac1.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, can we talk about how, even IF we completely ignore AC1 and treat revelations altaïr as his own character…. the narrative still doesn’t really work?

basically, the whole point of his story in rev is that "he gave his whole life to the brotherhood", this obsession led to him not using his time with his family which has him ending up dying alone in a dark library and this in turn makes ezio reevaluate his life choices…. except. he doesn’t? neglect? his family? or whatever? like, his devotion to the assassins is sort of painted as this tragic flaw that leads to a lonely death bc it supposedly comes at the cost of his family, but… his wife has joined the assassins, (at least) one of his sons is in the brotherhood and even when he goes to protect the assassins against the mongols, he takes his family with him (except for the son who stays behind bc he has a family of his own and who, ironically, ends up dying bc of that)… like, you can’t describe altaïr as a good husband and father in the database and have his son tell him that "everything that is good in me began with you, father" when they say goodbye, and then want to make us believe that he put his family behind the brotherhood and that that is a character flaw that leads to his tragedy.

because you HAVE to have a character’s tragedy be the result of a character flaw. like. that is how tragedies work. otherwise it just becomes tragedy for the sake of tragedy which is… boring bc it has no purpose. and we know it is SUPPOSED to have purpose bc ezIO FUCKING QUITS BEING AN ASSASSIN AFTER WITNESSING IT!

it’s like they want to have their cake and eat it, too — they didn’t want to actually make altaïr a bad husband/father, but still wanted to make his life a tragedy where he loses his family which is why instead they outsource all responsibility to abbas who now has to be the reason for ALL the deaths.

like, they try to make at least maria’s death kind of sort of the result of altaïr’s rashness or whatever but like… these guys KILLED THEIR SON and TOLD HIM THAT ALTAÏR HAD ORDERED HIS DEATH. like, altaïr losing it in response to that is not rash, it’s fucking logical and justified! if anything the scene made me angry at maria for trying to stop him. like, GIRL, he was YOUR son too??? but god forbid we give female characters actual real emotions, she has to fill the role of "voice of reason who dies for altaïr’s man pain" i fucking guess.

like, it’s this weird mix where his tragedy is simultaneously painted as his own fault but also not really bc abbas is the one responsible for all the shit that happens. it just… it just doesn’t really go together.

the only way to make his story make sense narratively and to give it actual purpose is by looking at it in the context of ezio’s story, bc the things he sees in altaïr’s memories are supposed to be a revelation (ha!) to ezio specifically. and i guess that’s maybe the crux of it all — altaïr’s story in revelations was conceived of first and foremost to support ezio’s story and development. which is probably also why many people maybe don’t notice bc, having skipped ac1 and started with ac2, the majority of people mostly care only about ezio and only really appreciate altaïr’s story in as far as it serves to push ezio forward. (tho i’ve also seen a few people say that ezio is also written kind of weird in rev, but i’ve never really been an ezio girly myself so i can’t speak to the truth of that)

like, altaïr dying alone in the library doesn’t really have to make sense for his character, i guess, bc it’s only really supposed to be a cautionary tale for ezio.

so, i guess, for once, they actually had a MAN dying for another man’s character development, which is pretty woke actually. ubisoft, i take everything back jksdsfjhgdsahfhsdhfghfdsgjhsdgjh

[yuwuta]

I LOVE UR BRAIN SO BAD 😭😭😭 YOU ALWAYS POST THEBBEST HEADCANONS AND THOUGHTS LIKE. WORK HUSBAND GOJO. AND JUST HAVING A WHOLE IMAGINATION OF THE OFFICE W NANAMI AND HIGURUMA AND TOJI I?????? I WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN

TEEHEEEE you’re so sweet <33333 the work husband to actual husband to househusband gojo pipeline is so so real to me and the office au that comes with it truly does take up space in my brain, so here’s some more loosely established points 

satoru has been your work husband since you got your first job in undergrad. you two met in your dorms, and became friends, and eventually you thought a job would help with your time management skills, so you got a very low-maintenance position at the front desk of the library. satoru applied right after you and schmoozed the two little old librarians into giving him the same shifts as you. that was probably the first moment satoru knew he was a little bit in love with you—because he had no reason to have a job while in school, but this small change in your schedule made him miss you so much that he was moved to get his very first job, probably ever, just to spend more time with you. 

he wasn’t bad at his library receptionist job, but he technically wasn’t good at it, either. if a student asked him for a laptop charger or to check out a book or something, he could do that, but anything else he’d just smile and say, “oh, you’ve gotta ask the pretty girl right there about that, she knows way more than me,” and bat his eyelashes at you. except, then, when you did need to get up to grab something for someone, satoru would just spring up instead, and tell you he’s got it. it’s like… he was incapable of helping anybody else unless he got to flirt with you, and then help you out to help them out……… strange boy 

anyways, satoru makes it a habit to assist you through your student jobs throughout undergrad, and then follows you to the same law school and repeats the process there. (also not to elle woods-ify him a bit but his father heavily questions him going to law school btw because satoru has never showed any interest in working, let alone following in his footsteps to be a lawyer, and now he’s going to law school? his mom is a bit sharper though, because when satoru tells his parents he’s going to the same law school as you, she just smiles and sips her tea and wonders if her son has already made a trip to their family jeweler). 

the firm is large, but the floor you work on is a pretty close knit group. there’s hiromi’s office at the tail end, which is the largest because he’s managing partner and he practically lives in there. on the other end, both you and nanami have decently sized offices. satoru doesn’t like hiromi at first because he thinks he’s mean. then satoru watches him play a little prank on kento, and suddenly the two of them are best friends. it would be a surprisingly wholesome friendship if their common denominator wasn’t irritating kento, and acting as guard dogs for you. 

kento’s office used to be just the bare necessities—law books, his degree, basic furniture, maybe a fancy paperweight, until satoru got his hands on it and decked it out. which is not something kento asked for, nor he thinks is necessary, but that doesn’t stop satoru from continually adding little trinkets and decorations and art to his office to make it livelier. when kento first meets you, he’s surprised when you tell him satoru gojo is going to be your secretary because kento interned for satoru’s father for two summers during law school, but when kento sees you and satoru together for the first time, it answers all of his questions. satoru couldn’t be more of a lovesick fool if he tried. 

listen the ex-convict to single father to janitor to lawyer toji pipeline is so real to me. while toji is working as a janitor at the firm, satoru slips once and then jokes that toji shines the floors too aggressively on purpose to make him slip, toji tells him to fuck off and he can sue for harassment. they truly don’t like each other at first, but once satoru steals toji’s masterkey to get into your office one night after you’re gone to leave flowers, and handle some paperwork to lighten your load in the morning, toji is sort of impressed. he still almost hits him with a broomstick, but even someone as gruff as him can see that satoru had pure intentions. toji is a lot of things, but he’s not immune to or devoid of love or passion. so, eventually he and satoru develop a weird sort of banter and respect for each other. one day someone actually tries to accuse toji of not putting the wet floor sign down and how it’s gonna be a lawsuit because some lowlife janitor fucked up his $3000 suit. satoru catches the argument as he’s heading upstairs and recognized the schmuck as the stuck up lawyer on the other side of kento’s case. satoru’s ready to jump in, but toji’s displaying an impressive amount of physical restraint and legal knowledge that when the dust is all settled, satoru asks him if he ever considered being a lawyer. toji laughs at it at first, but after a month of serious consideration (and megumi becoming a college freshman), he figures it can’t be all that bad. and turns out, toji’s a half-decent lawyer—once you’ve spent so much of your life skirting (or blatantly breaking) the law, you become pretty good at getting people out or around it, too. and with his life experience, he’s a pretty good judge of character; so when it comes time to lock up the bad ones, toji makes sure they get the maximum sentence.

except he has a bad habit of sending out emails with “URGENT: NEEDS ATTN” in the subject, which prompts you, kento, and hiromi to rush to his office, just to see toji with his feet up on his desk tell you that, “the emergency is i hate the opposing counsel, and now that i work on this side of the law i’d really like to not kill him, so somebody else should take this case.” 

anyways back to work husband secretary satoru. he pulls you out of boring meetings under the guise of an urgency, just for him to admit that the emergency is that he missed you, and you two were gonna be late for your lunch reservation. because he’s actually a licensed attorney, he can actually carry out duties an associate otherwise would, which saves you a lot of time and trouble; and it means that satoru gets to work even more closely with you, which is always an upside for him. sometimes you ask him to hand you documents and instead he just hands you his hand. and then pretends to blush and preen like a schoolgirl which always draws way too much attention to the two of you, but there’s no way to stop him either. he takes your coat off of your shoulders when you arrive in the morning, and helps you put it back on in the evening. when you tell him you’re looking for an apartment closer to the firm, he has eight places lined up for viewing, and one surprise at the end which happens to be the other vacant penthouse suite in his apartment building; which, conveniently, would make you satoru’s neighbor. he claims that it’ll be just like in college, but it certainly doesn’t feel that way when you finally move in and satoru can now loudly and proudly proclaim, “see you at home!” in the halls at work now. 

[spiritofpassionfruit]

Instead of Shen Jiu being popped out of existence or his soul being swiched and ending up on Shen Yuan's body or even being stuck in his world as a ghost, Shen Jiu is actually placed as the system. And as such he must find a way to diverge the plot of PIDW so that the soon to be emperor Luo Binghe doesnt gouge out everything and everyone in his wake.

He utterly hates it, he is in shambles when his best chance is a run of the mill fanboy from the novel that has become sentient enough to warp reality and time. He hates the fact that his soul is now tied to Luo Binghe in technical terms, he hates he has to rewind time each and every single time Shen Yuan fucks it up with his horrid communication skills, he hates the way the player's modern lenguage has rubbed him off past those rewinds, he loathes the fac that he can`t even be himself and has to act like some sort of caricature in order for Shen Yuan to not notice who is derailing his life, and his own as well.

He hates the fact that its his fault the things have become more messed up.

But he is fine, he is fine knowing that he can put these new BL novel to rest and and let Yueqi and the sect live for more than what fate deemed them to be.

He is thankful, though not outwardly, that Shen Yuan was kind where he would never be.

[averageludwig]

I need to get this out of my system or i will blow up. LIKE DAMN.. DAMN. LIKE OKAY. Like damn. Like. Tears in my eyes . fistful of hair . rocking back and forth . damn. He is ruining my life. Guys on the count if 3 throw the biggest rock at me. I need to be stoned there is no cure to this. goodnight cruel world.