#and he can’t generalize based on the queer ppl he knows

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I love just randomly getting a realization as to why someone/thing has been annoying you

[sappymix1]

That seems so strange me to I’m a very casual viewer of Foolish but it seems silly for this community of ppl who love shipping to suddenly draw the line at a man and woman together😭like I get some ppl just assume men and women can’t just be friends but it’s not like it wouldn’t be any more real or not real compared to other ships. Tina with her girl friends, or Foolish with the copious amounts of men around him that’s he’s been shipping with like let the girls have a boyfriend too😒 Even if it’s not the easiest thing to get behind as a fan for them why is it inherently wrong compared to all the other shipping

the like. stigma around shipping rpf m/f ships is So difficult bc like its not not based in reality you know like it IS an issue that with women specifically any time they speak to a man publicly the immediate reaction is oh are you dating and it IS a problem that a lot of women in these situations are somewhat ignored outside of the context of their real and alleged relationships with their (generally more popular to begin with) male streamer friends. and I dont think that should be disregarded like those are very real valid concerns and you see it with tina's chat all the time lately when she speaks to any guy and of course on twitter its different than it is here bc its like "in public." but also people have eyes and brains you know!!!! and they shouldn't be punished for using them 😭

but also like why are f/f ships more acceptable including for queer women who plausibly COULD be dating a woman lmao like pls answer that question for me without being weird about lesbian relationships

[ca-suffit]

same anon… thank you for your response, i take your point and don’t rly disagree with what you’re saying… the nuclear family analogy is definitely there and i think bc of the time period they were somewhat boxed into this heteronormative dynamic but i still see shades of like a mother/daughter dynamic with lestat and claudia (he “made” her for example, baby traps louis in the book which is seen as a more feminine thing, kind of gives strict helicopter mom to louis’ more “chill dad” vibe) and i don’t see why those interpretations can’t coexist and why that reading automatically “masculinises” louis. there is definitely an issue w this fandom hypermasculinising louis/black men and i would definitely never consider louis to be “the man” in the relationship or whatever. it’s the same with top/bottom discourse when in reality i don’t think it’s that binary. but tbh what i mostly don’t like is when people get into the territory of “lestat weaponises femininity” or arguments that his feminine traits are inauthentic/a facade to conceal his real self being a patriarchal abuser. it feels very terfy and icky considering his misogyny/toxic masculinity is learned but his queerness/femininity is genuine

(context)

I'm glad I didn't scare u off! so much of this fandom (and prbly in general) ppl leave if there's any disagreement in opinions. they only want an echo chamber. it's pointless. idgi. anyway tho.

I kind of got lost whether ur talking about the show or book at a point. between them all tho, I do agree there's multiple interpretations in ways, especially if ur going across *all* of the versions. if it wasn't so antiblack here, we could prbly more easily talk about a lot of things more openly. when ppl shut down one discussion then it puts everyone on edge and we can't talk about much of *anything* else bcuz we aren't even addressing the main thing yet. a lot of this show's fandom issues are that white gays takeover every conversation and aren't interested in hearing about any racial aspects at all, even tho the main character of the show is a BLACK gay man. all ppl want to talk about is lestat and how louis should just listen to him and stop being so "mean" and on and on. it's prbly gonna be insufferable for S3 but I'm trying to avoid thinking about that lol.

"what i mostly don’t like is when people get into the territory of “lestat weaponises femininity” or arguments that his feminine traits are inauthentic/a facade to conceal his real self being a patriarchal abuser. it feels very terfy and icky considering his misogyny/toxic masculinity is learned but his queerness/femininity is genuine"

what the fuck?? well, I do know this fandom has sides to it that are v "phobic" to all of the LGBT community. tbh anne rice's writing about gay men isn't as progressive as ppl think either, so it's rly not surprising some of her fans are fucked up about it. I forget a lot that she wasn't a huge conservative bcuz her writing makes her sound like one sometimes.

but anyway. ppl need to learn all the ways that literally everyone can be a shitty person and for what reasons too. there's rampant abuse and racism in the LGBT community too, from any identity. there's no way to spot an abuser and say "these are the traits of an abuser and these are traits of a victim." lestat is never shown using any of this stuff to avoid accountability for his harmful shit...or weaponizing it?? I haven't seen these posts so idk what exactly they're saying, but based on what u wrote. tbh, as u said, it sounds like ppl just wanted a way to be homophobic and/or transphobic in a dog whistle way. this fandom *loves* doing that shit.

[scientologisabethmoss]

I dont even think ben millers tweet was wrong or misogynistic. Do you really think that most suburbanites were really on the front lines helping these gay men instead of treating them like pariahs? Theres the habit of ppl lazily slapping white onto their misogynistic jokes and then theres them pointing out intersections of race and class that did have a hand in the way some ppl were affected and viewed the aids epidemic. Most of the white women that helped them were working class and queer, not straight suburbanites due to the fact that what attracted a lot of people to suburbia and still does is that they get to live in homogeneous communities free of minorities.

I understand what you’re saying here, and yet, I still feel that Ben Miller’s tweet was fundamentally misogynist. In fact, I feel that the original tweet IS an example of slapping “white” before “women” to cloak a disparaging remark about women in some kind of acceptable veneer for the wider online public. I do not think that the tweet offers any real substantive insight into the horrendous treatment gay men were subjected to by the American public, including both men and women, during the 1980s and ‘90s. The tweet is purely speculative, based on the imaginary scenario of suburban white women having access to Twitter during the AIDS epidemic. And for what reason? What value does this tweet have in enlightening anyone about LGBTQ+ history? No one had Twitter in the late 1980s because it did not exist, and there is no world in which that fact changes. So what can be the point of a white MAN specifically tweeting about the implied cruelty and heartlessness of white WOMEN… in a completely imagined scenario? Is this tweet supposed to educate? To me, the obvious purpose of this snide tweet - beyond collecting likes and retweets and general positive internet attention - is to incite derision of women for something that they can’t control because THE TWEET IS ENTIRELY SPECULATIVE.

I find it rich that not only is a white man tweeting about the supposedly unique awfulness of white women, but in so many responses to my Tumblr post on the subject, people have continued to reply with the most sexist stereotypes in mind. A man describes someone as a “white suburban woman”, and suddenly, people are frothing at the mouth, conjuring up Nancy Reagan and Anita Bryant. Ben Miller did not specify “STRAIGHT white suburban women”, nor did he say anything about these women being cisgendered. There is an implication in the phrase “white suburban women” that relies entirely on sexist stereotypes, so much so that people reblogging my post with the most inane and reaching comments have filled in the gaps in their heads to conjure up the most deplorable “Karens” they can imagine. (No matter that Karen is a sexist and ageist term, mind you.)

It’s undeniable that many suburban white women were horrible to gay men during the AIDS epidemic. I am in no way refuting that. But you know who were also awful to gay men? Suburban white men! And you know what group rallied behind many gay men during the AIDS epidemic? LESBIANS, many of whom could be counted as suburban white women! People seem to so quickly forget about the existence and history of lesbians, and that speaks volumes to me. Ben Miller tweeted about “suburban white women”, and suddenly, the potential queerness of these women disappears! 

I have people replying to my post with comments about mothers throwing their young gay sons out of their homes as proof of the evil and reactionary ways of suburban white women. And even though that scenario has undoubtedly occurred in too many homes throughout the years, is there anything uniquely female about that action? Where are the fathers in this scenario, and why are they not being held responsible for their actions against their gay sons? 

Women are consistently held to a higher moral standard than men, and so many of the responses I’ve gotten to my post only reinforce that.

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[quercus-queer]

BA’s Reckoning

Yes, I stole this title from the Sporkful podcast. You should check it out!

So just a reminder the whole thing that kicked this off was when Tammie Teclemariam tweeted the photo of Rapoport in brown face (yes its brown face its a purposeful caricature of Puerto Rican ppl, his girlfriend called him her papi in the caption as well) saying he should simply write the article on Puerto Rican food then (the issue was Illyanna Maisonet, a Puerto Rican food writer, got rejected rudely by Rapo for her pitch to write about Puerto Rican food) Which brings up the larger issue of BA being racist and not covering any other dishes besides Eurocentric ones, and the ones that aren't Eurocentric are almost always either whitewashed or done by white people which is what happened with Masionet’s article (this is where Amanda Shapiro and Meryl Rothstein come in).

This led to a zoom meeting where Rapo made a shitty apology leading Sohla El-Waylly’s instagram posts, where she condemns Rapo, talks about her 50k salary despite having 15 years of restaurant experience (She ran a fucking restaurant and 50k in NYC is pathetic), being hired to help white editors, and not being paid for ANY of her video appearances (none of the poc you see in videos have been compensated including the zoom videos). Which has led to many people at BA being exposed for being terrible (Conde Nast is the parent company and owns BA, Vogue, Architectural Digest, Allure, Glamour, Wired, Epicurious,Teen Vogue among other things... also take note how most of these have consistently been criticized for their racism or “race problems”)

ANYWAY here’s a general guide of what each BA person has done, this is in no way comprehensive, feel free to investigate on your own, always fact check and form your own opinions!

Adam Rapoport: Brown face, not paying his non-white employees for their video appearances, treating his assistant Ryan Walker-Hartshorn (a black woman) like shit (she was working overtime and was barely making rent with what he was paying her), he's sexist (see every video with Molly) and racist (mixing up Sohla and Priya Krishna and never apologizing) and more!

Check out the Business Insider piece, twitter (Tammie’s, Christina Chaey’s, and Priya’s), Sohla’s podcast and interviews, and someone made a compilation of Rapo being condescending I think

Matt Duckor: Disgusting, racist, homophobic, sexist all around terrible person, probably the most obviously terrible of the bunch (see Rick Martinez’s insta plus Duckor’s own tweets), strung along Sohla for months saying that her pay was “stuck in legal” so that she would keep appearing in videos, gave Sohla a contract when this stuff first started happening to try and shut her up, HE is the one deciding pay for everyone at BA and was the one not paying poc for video appearances.

Check out Rick’s Insta, Twitter for Duckor’s tweets (screenshots bc he deleted his account)

Carla Lalli Music: First off, ppl are pointing out she was condescending af to a lot of her guests on her show (except for the white ones). The racism at BA did not start nor stop with Adam Rapoport and guess who was editor in chief before him? Yup, Mrs. Carla Lalli Music! Necessary amendment: Carla was the food director NOT the editor in chief and she is currently an editor at large... still a powerful position though and I think the sentiment still stands. She had a pretty pathetic twitter thread about how she should’ve done more but was focused on the sexism/focusing on women, strange because she also sent that shitty email to two women along with Delany and Brad after the two of them, Delany, and Brad were talking in the kitchen, telling them not to enter the kitchen without permission (not enforced on Brad or Delany obviously, only the two women who happen to not be white) I misread the article, Brad was a part of the convo, he did NOT receive the email, and didn't respond to the articles request for comment.. he fucking works in the test kitchen, i’m an idiot and that's on me

Business insider and her twitter 

Alex Delany: I have a post with the screenshots of the confederate flag cake he made himself because he felt the “need to express some southern heritage in cake form. Such a glorious cake...” for his friend moving to South Carolina, the lovely vine with the classic “F*g is a bundle of sticks joke” also have a post discussing that, he’s wildly underqualified for DRINKS editor and overpaid, also his girlfriend is Allegra Lorenzotti whose mother Eva Lorenzotti, is in Jeffery Epstein’s black book which is concerning (though who knows maybe Delany is dating a different wealthy Allegralo), also those sexist tweets

I have screenshots from Tumblr, ppl have the vine on twitter along with the sexist tweets (he deleted his twitter and Tumblr btw)

Andy Baraghani: There are screenshots of Alyse Whitney’s (an asian woman) twitter thread saying Andy purposefully undercut her articles multiple times because of a petty feud with Antoni from Queer Eye by using his friendship with Amanda Shapiro (Whitney’s editor) to kill the story, which is shitty and brings up the bigger picture of BA being cliquey and getting in with a friend of a friend and such which is just a toxic work environment

Amanda Shapiro: Puerto Rican food article, Alyse Whitney’s articles, she’s a perpetuator of the toxic work environment, stealing Nikita Richardson’s work and getting credit and pay for it (pls check out her twitter and the articles with her), also racist, should not be in charge

Chris Morocco: Made one (1) basic post (simply a reply to Molly calling him out actually) at the beginning of all this agreeing to not be in anymore videos until his coworkers got paid/backpay, he said he was complicit (duh) but also that he had no idea this was happening, but guess what? He is the one that hired Sohla for only 50k! There is a whole can of worms about how little Sohla was hired for despite her experience plus talent along with her current pay and Chris is a part of that. Also both his gumbo video and Halo Halo recipe are downright disrespectful at BEST and they should not have had a white man doing them (again with the white people doing articles/videos that can be EASILY given to someone whose actually part of that culture) and before anyone says anything yes the gumbo was for Chris’s show (strange how only white ppl get shows or in Andy’s case unless you’re friends with a higher up) still doesn't make the video less disrespectful, also he’s SAID he is friends with Anna Wintour (head of vogue, and a racist “there’s no room for black women” the reason the vogue challenge is happening)

Brad Leone: Himbo status permanently revoked, “Brad who just found out racism is real”(Sohla said this in the Sporkful podcast) is NOT acceptable for a 35 year old white man whose coworkers are suffering in a clearly toxic work environment, the screenshot with “I didn’t sign her contract she did” is NOT how you respond to your coworker being underpaid and disrespected by the company she works at because she is not a white man. I do not like him anymore, he has made apologies but ignorance to this extent is willful and I don't completely buy it the rumors he was upset Delany was going to be fired/would quit if Delany was fired/was mad at Sohla is not something I was able to confirm but based off of what I’ve seen he really needs to prove himself to be better, he can stay if that’s what his coworkers want but he is on thin fucking ice

Stuff I can't accredit to a single person, but BA is racist: 

NIKITA RICHARDSON, pls check her out on twitter

They sent Sohla to interview black chefs (bc BA has a bad track record) because she was the darkest and there were literally NO black chefs working at BA

Making Priya only cook Indian dishes (which were kinda whitewashed) I actually think this may have been Duckor

Tokenizing the poc staff (they would make them be in the kitchen when filming the white hosts shows and push them in front of the camera to highlight nonexistent diversity)

Paying Hawa Hassan only $400 for her video (probs also Duckor)

[seafleece]

i’m trying to collect my thoughts on this, and i’m still pretty reticent to post everything i’m thinking, but overall liam’s bit on talks feels like a pretty good microcosm of why i dislike w*dojes in general:

-i think liam mentioning it first on talks (and i do think somewhat that it indicates he doesn’t intend to pursue it) has the effect that talks always has when a concept is introduced there before in an episode: it artificially changes parts of the show and artificially recontextualizes character relationships without events in the show actually supporting it. there’s a lot of jokes about the show being scripted. if liam’s intention was to introduce w*dojes as something he intends to pursue, then introducing it on the ooc talk show before it comes up in canon (and it hasn’t, by the way, but more on that later) will shape future events in canon without actually creating that change in canon. by exposing it to fans BEFORE any canon events relating to it, fans will expect laura and/or jester to respond, when jester’s interest in caleb has never been expressed, not once (again, more on that). this is why largely i think that liam doesn’t intend to pursue widojes, and largely why him introducing it this way as something he wants to happen Sucks

-liam mentioning fjord as a current viable option for jester doesn’t reflect jester’s character in the present tense. jester’s crush on fjord has already been explained as a way for jester to develop as a character, and it’s been dormant (if not dead, as i think it is) for months, if not over a year. the recontextualization of this campaign as “top table is in love with jester” and artificially creating the Race for Jester’s Heart 2k20, imo, does jester a HUGE disservice as a complicated character. laura has already talked about how jester’s crush on fjord was the idealized product of how she grew up and her view of what relationships were, and has explicitly expressed the desire for people to view jester as more than a romantic interest (which, by the way, shouldn’t have to be something she had to ask fans to do).

-attraction on one side does not a relationship make. caleb may be in love with jester, but he has never clearly expressed this in canon (unless you, as a lot of w*dojes stans want to do, count frowning as attraction). he never says jester’s name in that convo with yasha, and actually, i’m willing to bet that based on ashley’s other reactions, yasha was referring to either nott or astrid. much more importantly, jester has never expressed interest in caleb. the largest tendency of w*dojes ppl i’ve seen on here is to completely bypass that fact.

-(this is more of a descriptor of fanon, but this is the fanon that liam talking about this on talks is unintentionally bolstering) w*dojes as a relationship, especially how a lot of people on here frame it, relies really heavily on some really awful ideas like the manic pixie dream girl stereotype, infantilizing caleb via his trauma and neurodivergence to somehow lessen the age gap, and placing jester on a pedestal as someone who will “fix” caleb. it also tries to reframe jester’s upbringing as somehow making her more mature, when in canon and in talks it’s been shown to have stunted jester’s view of relationships overall. caleb is closer to twice jester’s age than to her age, and the two methods i’ve seen of attempts to bypass this are “caleb is mentally younger because he’s autistic-coded and traumatized” and “jester is more mature than her age because her mother does sex work”.

-i don’t really want to get into a drawn-out discussion of how this echoes last campaign, but there’s a reason people joke about matt constantly offering liam’s characters queer love interests that he abandons in lieu of m/f relationships that border on feeling obligatory, and i’ll leave it at that.

-equating all of the top table’s relationships (or lack thereof) with jester does a huge disservice to both jester and to jester’s relationship with beau. jester has actually expressed significant attachment to beau, to spending time with her, to being roommates, to healing beau specifically even though she’s also expressed her desire to do things other than heal in combat. she and beau have actually said they love each other, and continue to do so; beau has expressed romantic interest in jester in canon first; jester has spent big chunks of the last few episodes worried about beau, checking in on beau, getting angry at the idea of beau leaving, expressing anxiety about beau avoiding her, reaching out to her specifically about joining the traveler-- “there is chaos in your heart and i love you?”-- and doing none of this when they were in rexxentrum? and specifically pushing caleb on whether he likes essek and if essek likes him? i just. if this were a m/f relationship, people wouldn’t be putting fj*res or w*dojes on equal footing. at the very least, liam acknowledges that caleb knows jester’s closer to beau, but. you can’t just ignore the very organically developing queer relationships, shadowgast And beaujes, that creating w*dojes from one conversation erases.

-i’ve mentioned elsewhere, but being a queer person watching potential queer relationships play out as written by straight people, part of the excitement is fear, and good lord did liam on talks tonight stoke that fear. if he doesn’t intend to pursue it, great, but it made me afraid and the amount of responses and conversations i’ve had in the few hours since i posted about it are a good indicator that i’m not the only one who feels afraid.

[shapeshiftinterest]

mao mao fanfiction prompts: tanya x badgerclops x mao mao (miniverse)

based on the idea that mao mao’s type is ‘bad boy/ bad girl’ and set in the mini!mao verse (child au)

dunno where to put bao bao in this so i’m excluding him for the moment

in which mini mao becomes adventure friends with mini tanya first

he sort of has a crush on her cuz she’s cool as hell and nothing like he’s ever seen before (tiny ragamuffin vigilante)

she thinks he’s funny, being with him helps with her creativity (trying to work around all the rules and regulations, leveling up her negotiation skills, sparring for fun/ hide and seek)

enter in new friend mini BC, they find him behind a tree in a backyard they accidentally broke into

mini mao’s like ‘wow, who’s that’ but also ‘a hero helps those in need!’, and tries to talk with him even tho tanya’s trying to get him to book it

they end up taking mini BC with them and all 3 become friends

unfortunately mini mao doesn’t know how to handle his feelings cuz now he has 2 crushes

and to his knowledge you can only have 1 at a time, so he’s like ‘oh no i can’t like 2 ppl at the same time! that’s not fair to the other person :(’

mini tanya sees this and she’s like ‘no you dummy you can like more than one person at the same time, that’s normal’

but then she jokingly brandishes some leaf magic made weapons at mini badgerclops and winks at him, saying something like ‘there can only be one! (winner of mini mao’s love)’

mini BC joins in the joke and either fires up his arm cannon (not sure if he has it right now or if this is before he gets the robo arm) or picks up something heavy as a ‘weapon’

on the other hand, mini mao’s panicking because he thinks his crush/ friends are actually fighting over him

like uwu but also pls don’t I can’t handle you hurting each other cuz I like you both

knowledge levels

mini BC knows about gay couples because his step brother gerald is gay (he does not know about bisexuality tho)

tanya knows a lot about the queer spectrum in general because her huge found family has a lot of members from different parts of the LGBTQA

mao barely knows about being friends let alone having crushes, honestly he’s not even sure what these feelings are, probably thinks he wants them to both be his best friend or something (it’s a crush you idiot)

they’re all kids but they’re also all biromantic

[kae-karo]

hi! over the years i've really valued your opinions on things but if you don't want to talk about this i would understand. there's a lot of talk these days about bi/pan lesbians and similar "new" identities (like he/him lesbians for example) and i was just curious what you thought about them. i've seen people say they are invalidating others or don't exist but i always thought it was our job as a community to allow each other to experience their experience even if its different than ours?

hello dear!!! first of all 🥺🥺🥺 thank u so much that’s so sweet of u to say???

okay, now onto the topic at hand - here’s the thing, i’ve honestly only heard the bi/pan lesbian label come across my radar pretty recently, and in a negative light, so i won’t claim to be an expert on either side. i also should note that i don’t id as bi or lesbian and labels have never been super important to me, which makes this conversation a less personal one and one that i can’t really give any kind of subjective "this is how it influences me personally” opinion on

all that said, here’s what i’m seeing: bi/pan lesbian is an identity that came about as a way to describe bi/pan ppl who have a preferential attraction to women, which is kind of...not great, in my opinion, and i can see pretty clearly how it harms all identities (bi/pan AND lesbian) by treating it as a separate identity

first and foremost, it’s invalidating to the actual description of bi/pan ppl by suggesting that all bi/pan ppl must have a perfectly equal attraction to all genders in order to be considered ‘truly’ bi/pan

which is wack, and usually ppl who experience differences in types of attraction based on gender may opt to describe themselves as bi, while ppl without any real difference in preferences might choose pan, though both are totally valid for any type of umbrella attraction and the distinction matters to some ppl and not others

it also implies that there’s something wrong with being attracted to men from the perspective of not ‘fully’ identifying as bi/pan

normally i’m really on the side of ‘hey choose whatever labels make you happy and comfy’, but i think there’s a difference between that and trying to misdefine existing labels to suit your feelings? like. if u have a preference for women or fem-aligned genders, etc etc, cool! but tbh it makes no sense to me to try to redefine what it means to be a lesbian or to be bi/pan in order to explain your attraction? the main reason this upsets me and a lot of bi/pan folks (and other ppl in the queer community) is that there is already a term that exists to describe that preference

even if you’re not personally affected by the negative possible aspects of that becoming a popular terminology, it can be super confusing for people outside the queer community, the new baby queers, and it can also instigate a possibly transphobic discussion about what it means to have that preference and why it requires identifying as a ‘lesbian’, etc etc. here’s a pretty good walkthrough of the ways that terms like bi/pan lesbian (and bi/pan het) affect bi/pan ppl and lesbians (x) and here’s another (briefer) breakdown (x)

**a quick caveat! i know many ppl use the two-orientation description as a way to describe romantic and sexual attraction in one statement! ie ace lesbian or something like that, where they might be asexual but id as a lesbian in terms of romantic attraction exclusively. this is not what i’m talking about above, and is totally a valid and non-detrimental way to identify!!

now, here’s the thing about he/him lesbians. pronouns =/= gender. a person can use any pronouns (including neopronouns or less conventional ones!) and still identify as a gender that has not been socially constructed to be represented by those pronouns. all pronouns are, for lack of a better description, are a secondary name. basically a nickname, if you will. someone deciding they want to be called by a traditionally masc name, like alex or trevor, doesn’t mean that they must therefore be male, right? i think we as the queer community know and agree that that’s the case - they could be nonbinary, or agender, or female or literally any other gender at all! we as a community have acknowledged that names do not define gender. we’re still getting to the general acceptance and understanding that pronouns also do not define gender, but i think the he/him lesbian discourse shows that we haven’t really gotten there yet. he/him is just a way someone wants to be referred to when his name isn’t used - that doesn’t mean he isn’t female or fem-aligned in the way that he’d want to id as a lesbian!

i think the key distinction between these two discussions (bi/pan lesbian and he/him lesbian) is the fact that one is discussing redefining existing definitions for a sexuality in a way that’s harmful to both sexualities involved while the other is discussing a person’s pronoun preference (not their actual gender, but pronoun preference) as a prerequisite for whether they’re allowed to identify as a lesbian

to your note about letting others experience their own experiences - again, this is something i wholeheartedly endorse, with the exception of times where someone ‘experiencing their own experience’ is actively harming other groups. i think it’s p clear that bi/pan lesbian as a term can have some really negative effects on people in the bi/pan and lesbian communities, but all i can see with he/him lesbians is that they’re actively working to break down the social construct of pronouns being equated with gender, which can only really benefit everyone in my opinion

anyway, i hope that gives u some insight into my thoughts dear!! thanks so much for sending this 💜

[tonyglowheart]

This entire thing is a rant, feel free to ignore it, but I saw your post about how destiel fans can’t win in this context, and yeah. So have some rambles.

I’ve been thinking about the fact we (current spn/destiel fans) can’t win all night... I’ve seen so many people talking about how homophobic it is - and while I would very much like to argue, as every point I’ve seen made by a non-spn fan has been wrong so far, if I did everyone inside the fandom would agree and everyone outside would either call me straight or pity me for believing it’s okay.

(Cas wasn’t even sent to hell lmao. He was sent to angel death (the empty), a place he has escaped in the past. Other points, like that meta about spn has been predicting exactly this for months, that Dean ended up sobbing on the floor because he was so upset, like that death means next to nothing on spn, like that there is two episodes left, etc etc. you feel me right? I just don’t want to post wank to other spn blogs atm, we’re getting enough frustration as it is, no need to add to it.

It’s also worth pointing out that the bar is very, very low. Spn is a prominent TV show - not a Netflix show, or indie, or whatever - and it just said “main character in gay love saved the world”. [insert gif of ghostfacers dude saying that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day here]

I just saw someone saying that spn having Naomi try to brainwash Cas out of loving dean makes spn homophobic (it is a conversion therapy parallel). My first response to that is that Naomi was the villain lmao? I guess we can’t write villains doing anything homophobic because having villains do homophobic things makes, uh - checks notes - villains look homophobic, and clearly we can’t have that.

There certainly are legitimate things to criticise spn about, but this isn’t it lol.

Also now some people are unironically trying to cancel Jensen because “his acting was homophobic, and so he’s clearly homophobic”, nevermind that he’s an actor and his character struggles with understanding his emotions (which I think he played excellently, myself. That scene had a very Dean delayed emotional response), nevermind the support he’s given to us queers in the past. Like. Idek man.

We would have been laughed at if we got no destiel, too.

It would have been worse, had the writers pulled a dumbledore. At this point I also trust the writers not to pull a GoT - they have explicitly criticised that ending in spn’s canon.

Spn’s writers did that by making the main villain of this season, Chuck / God, say GoT had a good ending. To reiterate a previous point I had: villains do bad things because they’re bad. And the bad things they do make them bad. For the people out there not still following, if someone does something in a story and it makes them a villain, that is explicitly telling you the story (and probably the writers) thinks that thing is bad. In this case, Chuck likes to write things for him, and we the audience have been shown and told that is bad.

Apparently thinking a gay confession is good in 2020 makes me straight. Seems unlikely, but whatever. Sorry for the length, I guess I went overboard, I’ve been holding it in lol. Anyway, DESTIEL IS CANON 💚💙 hope you have a good night

Helloo supernatural anon I hope you are living your best life right now. Yeah I’m like..... skeptical and leery myself but having lived through some absolute garbage discourse that is general purity wank, as well as the C/QL greater fandom here and on Twitter I find myself... much more wanting to question the “general wisdom” of things esp in terms of negativity, bc a lot of the time I find.... it’s wrong? Like so wrong. Or at least presents such an incomplete picture of the whole situation and also presents it in such a removed context that words that have meaning and are operationalized in a certain way for a reason, no longer have meaningful usage.

Anyway I don’t... know too much about the specifics of Spn but someone I follow is into it and talks a lot about the Gnostic stuff and that all was very fascinating to me, and I also have been grappling a lot with cultural Christianity bc of cmedia and the way ppl just *clenches fist* unthinkingly or uncritically slap some Christian norms on it and call it a day 😩 help I’m Tired. My thing here being... I actually got tired of the uncritical “superhell”s at some pt bc I am, in fact, incredibly exhausted with cultural Christianity, and because it does seem like, even possibly(?) without the Gnostic stuff it’s different from a “hell” or other Protestant-derived afterlife concept, and also yeah that it wasn’t seeded out of nowhere, it was set up to happen, which then... lends credence to the idea that whatever the current era of Spn is doing, the current showrunners are doing it with purpose.

And idk I just... refuse to believe the concept that ALL of the fans of Spn - esp the ones who have been following it still, or got back into it and are following it currently, are acting under delusion or are fooling themselves into liking it or thinking it’s good or whatever. I personally find that kinda infantilizing and patronizing and playing into issues of dismissing things women and/or other marginalized identities like.

Plus I find the concept that (from what I think I’ve been seeing Spn fans say) that the current era of the show is quite actively grappling with itself, its past, its legacy. to be very interesting and compelling; it hearkens back to like an old lore kind of feeling, of a thing that has grown into a nigh undefeatable monster and realizing that, also realizing that the only way to defeat itself is through grappling with its own nature and transforming and transmuting itself into something else. I personally find that more plausible and compelling than “Supernatural has been actively and continuously queerbaiting for 15 homophobic homophobic years., so right now we’re all very sorry for you because this maybe is no longer queerbaiting but it’s still homophobic and it can never be anything different ever.” I’ve been sort of tangentially aware of Spn thru the years and didn’t we agree, around the time of that in-universe play about Spn and with the lil Destiel shoutout, that Spn has come a ways as far as coming to terms with its fandom and working to treat its fans better? Why the sudden regression into “oh no, Supernatural is and forever will be homophobic and a hate crime”? 🤔 

The rest under a cut bc the ask is already long and then my rambling will get longer-

But yeah I mean..... I get that the legacy of Supernatural has been certifiably Rough, but I think people also forget how different of a time 2005 was? Hell, how different of a time 2015 was, even, prior to, say, Obergefell v. Hodges. Now I’m not saying that to blanket-excuse Supernatural, but like, you look at mainstream shows from the era and... there’s a lot of shit lmao. The fact that Supernatural has existed this long seems to me like.... maybe we CAN look at how it’s developed through the years vs just insisting it is what it was 15, 10, hell, 5 years ago. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s been showrunner changes? Which seems to me like it would... affect things? I mean honestly, I remember back when I got into Spn for a hot second because of Castiel, I remember watching panel, Q&A, etc vids thru the years, and like... I thought we agreed that... it was the fans who were going a bit far pushing the shipping question like literally ALL the time to the actors, who are not in control of the show and.... like at the time.... that could have had personal implications for them? And yes homophobia bad, and people can still be allies despite that, but again like.... I do feel like - from what I’ve seen - that these guys were NOT ready to deal with a lot of that but they’ve (okay Jensen I’m talking about Jensen here) genuinely grown and learned? Also how many years ago was the essay autograph thing that people keep trotting out, like what year was it in and what year of spn was it, and what were the prevailing opinions on LGBT issues and bisexuality then.

I’ve been seeing some murmurings of identity politicsing surrounding ppl who enjoy Supernatural, and I’m sorry that that’s happening to you, it really fucking sucks and it’s also the dumbest way to “make” or “win” an argument because it shouldn’t ever be a final determiner, just factors to consider when considering what life experiences might have informed someone else’s PoV and views as well as maybe how you can better communicate with them. Instead of it being a “weapon” or “tool” to either dismiss someone or de facto validate an argument.

Also yeah I get it that you don’t want to send discourse to spn blogs bc I imagine you guys ARE actively grappling with all the bs rn and it’s a lot. Even just from like, the stuff I see around, I’m like tired of it. I’m genuinely having more fun with ppl who are having a good time with Supernatural than the ppl who are hating on it, even in this sort of backhanded “oh we’re not clowning YOU we’re clowning the writers and showrunners who think you should be satisfied with this,” when... yeah? the people who HAVE been watching the show and therefore... know what’s up.. DO seem to be? And all this based on *fake gasp* context. And that’s where the backhandedness becomes kind of poisonous to me, because it implies that it IS bad, and that you SHOULDN’T be satisfied, but poor little you are but don’t worry, we’re not making fun of YOU for liking garbage, you’re just the hapless victim who is consuming the garbage bc... idk, whatever reasons ppl are coming up with ig.

idk man it’s 2020. Fandom isn’t activism, performative or otherwise, it’s okay to let people enjoy things even if you think they’re “objectively” bad, and like... I don’t know if people can call something bad when they’re not even working with the whole context and instead are dealing with rumor and reputation. 

[sunsetsover]

i think ben has feelings for callum, not so sure callum has feelings for ben, i do think their maybe an attraction from callum end maybe before the i smell a queer scene, when ben said callum got looks and a sense of humour and is the full package and doesn't understand why he doesn't like himself, callum seemed a bit flustered by that. i think ben was intrigued from callum from the start, he introducing himself to callum, digs at callum/whitney and eyes on callum when went serve customer.

i kind of agree with you but also i kind of don’t. 

i absolutely agree that ben was intrigued w callum from the start, though idk if it was necessarily attraction? i think it was more curiosity than anything else, esp after he saw callum in the park w the bottle. callum puts out this air of a kind of happy-go-lucky guy that doesn’t have a care in the world that very few people have got to see past, and yet ben got to see through it almost straight away (accidentally, of course) and i think that contrast piqued ben’s interest. like since he came back ben is someone who likes to know people’s weaknesses so he knows which buttons to push, how to exploit ppl. it’s just the kind of person ben is. so i don’t think that intrigue was necessarily romantic/sexual at the start.

so like when ben said that at the car lot abt looks and a sense of humour etc i think that was him a) just being himself (i mean look at how he’s flirted w ewan, keanu etc, i think that’s just a part of his character now) but also b) him trying to sell that dodgy van on and get it off his hands bc he saw an easy target in callum. ben is a clever manipulator, and when he saw what was going on with the stuart/whitney situation, he exploited that in order to guilt callum into buying the van for whitney, thus getting rid of his problem. he didn’t really care what happened to callum after that, he just wanted the van gone. and he flirted w callum in order to try and disarm him, but also have a bit of a dig (’i can’t understand why you don’t like yourself’) bc that’s just the kind of guy ben is. and ofc callum got a bit flustered bc at the end of the day he is still a repressed gay man being flirted with by a openly gay man. but again, i don’t think really think there was anything between them at that point beyond ben’s curiosity and seeing callum as an easy target.

it’s when when callum had ben pinned, that seems to me when there was some kind of switch in callum that got flicked. it’s not like ben’s not attractive. and there was some serious sexual tension in that moment without either of them meaning for it to be there. and of course ben picked up on it and immediately makes a snarky remark (’i smell queer’). but i actually don’t think either of them are particularly that interested in each other even then. they just had a moment. (and!!! something i’ve not seen anyone talk about before is the fact that ben initially seems like he wants to help callum until he says ‘i ain’t nothing like that’, which is lowkey homophobic, and ben immediately switches and becomes defensive and vindictive. i think that’s really interesting bc that’s a pattern later on too - ben tries genuinely to help callum, some (usually homophobic, usually stuart/jonno based) bullshit happens and ben immediately backs off from callum and begins being cruel again. it’s something i haven’t seen anyone talk about!!!)

i think the first time feelings get somewhat involved is at the housewarming where ben tells callum abt paul. it’s then that callum realizes ben isn’t actually all bad, he’s just hurting and lashing out, and actually he has a surprising capacity for love underneath it all. and ben is obviously touched that callum stood there and heard him out and was kind to him even though he himself knew he probably didn’t deserve it. which is why he went out of his way to thank him the next morning - even though he was obviously very embarrassed and callum probably hadn’t been expecting it. that’s when both of them realize that actually, there’s more to this person than they had first thought. ben shows callum a lot more empathy and tries to be supportive after that (though he does flip flop but like i said, that’s usually linked to violent homophobia at the hands of callum’s family, which is absolutely understandable tbh), and callum is much more willing to sit and listen to what ben has to say. 

then obviously it all culminates with what happened at the park, which is why i don’t agree that ben has feelings but callum doesn’t. callum is obviously someone who takes sex and relationships very seriously. he was a virgin when he got w whitney, even though he had had something going on with chris (and i’m p sure he told whit he had had opportunities to have sex in the past but he didnt bc it didn’t feel right, which just emphasizes the point) - he clearly isn’t the type to just have sex with someone for the sake of having sex. i mean he literally said in the same episode if he has sex with someone, it has to mean something. i don’t think he would have had sex with ben had he not had some degree of feelings for him. callum obviously felt smth for ben by then, otherwise i highly doubt he ever would have gone there in the first place. and if he didn’t before, then he definitely does now. (that said, did callum call ben to the park that night knowing something was going to happen? idk. like i believe he just wanted to warn ben off, but he must have known deep down that there was a chance something might happen, surely.)

i guess you’re right though that ben is developing feelings more obviously than callum. i mean like callum is the first person in a long time who isn’t family that is showing him kindness, and he sees a lot of himself in him. like yes he has a lot of problems, and the situation with his dad, but he has a lot less going on in his head than callum rn. at least his sexuality is the one thing he doesn’t need to be confused abt anymore. bc callum is clearly still messed up and is trying to deal w his feelings towards whitney and his own sexuality and men in general and this desire to live a straight life and this thing with ben and now chris has come back too like?? he has a lot on his plate, bless him. ben isn’t his priority rn. but you only have to see at the way he looks at ben and how he reacts to ben’s name to know he feels Something. 

and i mean you know they’ve only hooked up once!! they barely know each other when u think abt it. there’s obviously something between them, but is it capital f Feelings?? maybe not? not yet at least. but obviously there’s Something. a lot of chemistry, a lot of potential. the beginnings of feelings. i mean if there wasn’t anything why would we all be here !!!!

but ofc you have your opinions and i have mine!!! we all interpret things differently, and obviously i like to hyper analyse Everything lmao :-)

[lovenotesuggestions]

Is there a way you could tell me all of the 'names' for exclusionist people? Like terfs, or people who think you need dysphoria to be trans (I don't remember the name ;_;) I want to be as inclusive as possible, and thus wanna read and learn more about exclusionists. You're very knowledgeable about the LGBTQIA+ community from what I've seen, at least a lot more than I am, so I figured you'd know at least some of them. I also wanna make it clear who to put on DNI list for my blog.

Thank you for thinking of me to ask, and for trying to educate yourself! Off the top of my head, the main things I can think of to look out for are:

TERFs sometimes also go by ‘gender realists’ or ‘gender critical’ - they’re more likely to self-identify as terms like those rather than as TERFs because they consider it a slur (it’s not). Also look out for people with things like XX or ‘adult human female’ in their bios or usernames - it’s TERF shorthand for identifying themselves as ‘real’ women. You may also see the term TWERF - trans women exclusionary reactionary feminism. Some people interpret the R to stand for radical, but reactionary is more accurate. 

The folks you’re thinking of who think you need dysphoria to be trans are called truscum or transmedicalists. On twitter especially you often see them with crossed sword emojis or lightning emojis in their usernames/bio, which they use to indicate themselves as fans of K/alvin G/arrah (censored bc he and his fans tend to namesearch him to harass people who call him on his shit) or storm ryan, who are two particularly virulent truscum youtubers. Ofc not everyone with these emojis are people like these, esp with the new pokémon game that just got announced, but I tend to be cautious of it. 

People who exclude ace and aro folks don’t tend to have a specific name - they tend to self-identify as ace exclusionist, though some self-identify as aphobes (which like... blows my mind when they claim to just not think aces/aros are LGBTQ+, but are happy to call themselves openly discriminatory and hateful towards ppl for having an orientation?? anyway that’s a can of worms for another day). They usually only refer to themselves as ace exclusionist, but this also extends to aro folks too. 

Not specifically LGBTQIA+ related, but it’s also worth looking out for SWERFs, which stands for sex worker exclusionary reactionary feminists, whose feminism opposes sex work and opposes legalisation of sex work (particularly full service sex work, which is the preferred way to refer to prostitution) despite evidence that criminalisation of sex work actively harms sex workers, who are disproportionately poor, POC, and LGBTQIA+. 

There don’t seem to be any other exclusionist ideologies with specific names (at least not that I’m aware of), but some other common ones to point out are:

non-binary exclusionists, who don’t believe non-binary genders are real (sometimes referred to as exorsexists, which is a name for the specific type of transphobia experienced by non-binary people) or who gatekeep the way n-b people behave, i.e. who say n-b people can’t identify as gay or lesbian, can’t use he/him or she/her pronouns, can’t use neopronouns, can’t medically transition, can’t present in a masculine or feminine way, can’t have typically masculine or feminine gendered names, etc. 

people who don’t believe pansexuality is a valid orientation (who think it’s just bisexual for people who want to be special, or who believe it’s inherently transphobic due to a misconception that bi = attracted to cis men and women and pan = attracted to cis and trans men and women, when actually bi = attraction to two or more genders, and pan = attraction to all/regardless of gender - whether or not the people in question are trans doesn’t play into it). 

There are even still people who don’t think trans or bi people should be included in the LGBTQ+ community, even though it was a bi woman who organised the first pride parade, and trans women of colour who were instrumental in the Stonewall riots. 

There are also a few particular brands of lesbophobia becoming louder recently, including but not limited to: people who assume all/most lesbians are TERFs or aphobes due to an unfortunate minority of vocal lesbians with these views, people who think lesbians can’t be non-binary, and people who don’t think lesbians can use he/him or they/them pronouns. 

People who don’t believe others should identify as queer or use/reclaim the term. 

If anyone thinks of anything I’ve missed anything off, please let me know! Also, if anyone has any additional good-faith questions, like what particular terms might mean or what I might be referring to at certain points, then feel free to ask them!

Pre-emptive note: This blog firmly believes in the inclusive nature of the LGBTQIA+ community - the history of our movement is based on inclusiveness and unity between the different groups marginalised for not conforming to cisheteronormative standards, and exclusionism has always been a bad thing for us - it’s the thing that made lesbians, bi folks, and trans folks have to fight to be included in the acronym, even though they were the founders of the rights movement. My LGBTQIA+ community is for anyone who isn’t cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic, and perisex and who wants to be a part of it. Policing people’s presentation and the way they go about expressing themselves in a world that tries to quash our self-expression is not part of the spirit of the movement that is supposed to celebrate diversity and non-conformity. People being themselves doesn’t make the community ‘look bad’ or justify homophobia or transphobia - the people to blame for discrimination are the discriminators, not the people being discriminated against for rejecting toxic respectability politics. I will not be responding to any discourse on this matter - y’all know where the unfollow button is. Keep it out of the replies and out of my inbox and generally away from me.

[acreaturecalledgreed]

AU TIME (again, because i have too many but theyre fun)

so because i love His Dark Materials and i love FMA i have actually been half-assedly working on a daemon au when my brain will allow it

yes theres a million of them out there but i dont care i love them and i wanted my own

quick opinion first: in an interview with the writer of HDM it was brought up to him that a lot of fans headcanon that ppl with same-gender deamons are gay/trans/queer, and he stated that while that wasn’t his intention it was an idea he loved and fully supported- for this reason its generally accepted fanon

i appreciate that he likes it, but i personally do not subscribe to that headcanon at all, since people with same-gender daemons in the series are Specifically stated to be highly uncommon, and put bluntly, Gay/Trans/Queer People Aren’t Rare

so i generally just prefer to think of same-gender daemons as an interesting quirk instead of any indicator of such things

so far the human/daemon lineup is as follows (with some inspired by other fics, which i will link with them)

none of them have names yet because jesus fuck naming daemons is so fucking hard what the shit, and a lot of characters i havent picked out daemons for yet b/c i think it over A Lot before i settle on one

hohenheim- honey bee; insect daemons were extremely common amoung xerxian slaves, though a honey bee implies a certain level of ingenuity and moxy. meek and quiet but should not be pushed to extremes; absolutely never spoke with anyone but hohenheim and on much rarer moments, trisha. because of her size and shyness, the boys actually genuinely grew up with the impression that their father did not have a daemon trisha- elephant shrew; remembered by the boys as always being a good bit more frantic than their mother, but gentle and sweet despite this. unknown the them, actually had a fairly harsh and vicious temper provoked, though he kept it largely to himself. seemed to have no issue speaking with other daemons or humans, and in fact was just as likely to carry out a conversation with them as trisha herself. edward- wolverine (inspired by this fic, part of a series, since i cannot get over how perfect a wolverine is for ed); in general she an ed have extremely similar dispositions, though even in ed’s more somber moments she’s more likely to lash out than he is- including towards him, though they never fight for long. seems to have no issue trying to fight other’s daemons if she has a point she’s trying to make. will speak with other’s daemons, but won’t talk to other humans unless ed is showing signs of being nonverbal. al - unsettled, uncertain what happened to her with the whole body-losing thing. her current status is unknown and al seems unable to communicate if she’s with him or not, though he has developed a strange habit of periodically carrying random objects with him as if they are significant, but only one at a time mei- unsettled; xiao mei is often mistaken for mei’s daemon initially, and mei’s actual daemon likes to exasperate this by taking on the form of a panda very regularly. he’s very playful, but has a low tolerance for any perceived disrespect, and likes to retaliate to this by taking on very large and threatening forms- mei is well read and creative, and this means that sometimes those forms are fantasy creatures. refuses to talk to anyone who isnt mei, though might ask mei to say things to others for him- even if they’re all just standing in the same room.  ling- maned wolf; he doesn’t actually know what she is, and neither does she, so they jokingly play it off by claiming she’s a Very tall fox. the two of them are often very much in sync personality-wise, with her being every last bit as potentially silly as him (in fact, she tends to play up goofy behavior moreso, as she’s found she tends to unsettle people otherwise with her appearance) but also very clever and prone to scheming- though she seems to have a distinct nervous streak that he is seemingly lacking, with any insecurity he might feel occasionally radiating off his daemon. she’ll speak with any human that ling will speak to, but will chatter with just about any daemon who will pay her mind. often wails dramatically to garner attention during his fainting spells. she and lan fan’s rooster are often in contact with eachother, with said rooster often just perching on her. they enjoy gossiping.  things go more than a little haywire for her when Greed is forced into ling’s body, as it turns out that human-based homunculi are absolutely decimating for the daemon of the human host. lan fan- shamo rooster; most of lan fan’s pent up frustration is alive and thriving in him; he is often brusque, ornery, and quick to peck or kick out at other humans, even at the risk of contact. he isnt Always angry, and in fact can be very charming and peaceful when the mood suits him, but in general he’s of the opinion that if lan fan can’t say whats on her mind then he should- much to lan fan’s nigh endless chagrin. he’s even prone to pecking at ling, something that stresses lan fan out greatly and typically results in her simply picking him up and holding him for a while until he agrees to stop. absolutely Refuses to talk to anyone, human or daemon, outside of their travel group.

rather interestingly and somewhat alarmingly he’ll assist in fights as well, willing to risk contact with other human beings if he means the difference b/t life and death in a fight- successfully rips out one of Bradley’s eyes as a result, though of course that doesnt end up being permanent roy- little eagle; she’s cocky, and proud, and dignified, very aware that she’s a very noble-seeming daemon to have. she’ll play up a roll of being prim and proper up until the point where she’s called out on it, at which point she’s more huffy and a tad screechy. she looks incredibly majestic perched on roy’s shoulder or arm but inevitably looks very silly when he can’t carry her for whatever reason and she has to hurriedly waddle after him, something she will complain about the entire time. she has no issue talking to other humans, and will sometimes try to dish out commands in roy’s stead- though she seems to rarely speak with other daemons. despite this, during downtime she can sometimes be seen hopping from daemon to daemon in mustang’s team and perching on or preening them (with the exception of fury’s ball python, who she usually just sits on) riza- female wolfdog; quiet and often keeps to herself, though she seems to like having inside jokes with other daemon’s on mustang’s team, and sharing them with riza. she’s not particularly affectionate, or friendly, but she isn’t aloof either and always seems to have some quiet sense of humor to her. very rare to truly anger but seems willing to bare her teeth at nearly anything that inconveniences or even slightly annoys riza- this is alarming to new people, but it becomes a common and familar sight within a few days, and she doesn’t actually act out aside from it. will absolutely attack viciously in combat situations, however only towards other daemons havoc- palomino mare; she sometimes has a hard time getting around base, and Havoc was almost denied a position in the military due to concerns about the mobility of his daemon. 

she likes to rib havoc and tease him, often giving him a hard time about his love life or bad habits, but is also incredibly rapid to defend him against others. almost somewhat uncomfortably friendly with other humans, she will converse with people solely for the fun of conversing with them. if havoc thinks this is unusual or inappropriate, he has never said so, but people suggestion that she’s the reason he has trouble with love will typically get them an earful from him. 

she likes to use her size to intimidate on the occasions havoc feels a need to be more serious than his usual demeanor, and the effect can read as either genuinely threatening or somewhat silly depending on who its directed at

theyre close and don’t really need to talk with eachother at all to know what the other is thinking

fury- ball python; typical of the animal he’s assuming the form of, he’s exceptionally quiet and docile, rarely speaking outside of a whisper but also not being afraid of talking to other humans if he needs to (for example, if fury is busy with the radio but someone needs information from him) 

he seems to greatly dislike being a fairly small daemon, and typically is either curled around fury’s neck or tightly in a ball on the desk, but the rest of the team can sometimes get him to poke his head out if they’re friendly and patient

{im still working on the rest of team mustang}

{All of the armstrongs have some kind of tiger. All Of Them. It weirds people out, probably rightly so.}

Alex- golden tabby tiger; deeply affectionate and motherly, and extreely aware of her beauty and enjoys flaunting it as much as alex does. somehow has potent MILF energies despite literally being a tiger and it kinda weirds everyone out. including me. im not sure why i just outright wrote that. 

she’s doting to a point thats annoying, and teeters on being unintentionally condescending b/c she just Has to fuss over every daemon around her, especially any smaller than her. ed’s wolverine is perpetually on her last nerve around her, as she’s constantly grooming and coddling her. 

she’s joked before that she’d be JUST as lovey with humans, were it not “wholly and deeply improper to do so”

bizarrely she does have a decidedly harsh streak to her- alex is deeply hurt by his eldest sister’s disdain of him, and while he himself does not act in frustration and tries not to harbor ill will, his daemon is not afraid to do so in his stead, and will march up to olivier’s and swat him directly in the face, despite him being a good twice her size. she’s very hissy and reactive around him, which is surreal to anyone used to how astoundingly friendly she is otherwise.

Olivier- white liger; he is absolutely, mindbogglingly massive and strikes a deeply intimidating aura with his presence alone- which is for the best, since anyone who actually knows him know’s he’s incredibly calm and patient. olivier is bold, fierce and hard enough for the both of them. he is much more content sitting calmly and observing the world around him instead of actually putting up any kind of threatening behavior- and he does observe near everything; its nearly impossible to do anything without him learning of it somehow.

he does not speak with anyone, ever, except for olivier, and even then only in complete privacy. she doesnt seem bothered with his seemingly lax behavior, but she doesn’t tolerate it being discussed, either. 

he tolerates alex’s daemon’s aggression towards him with patient, and if he retaliates at all it is typically simply placing a paw on her head and pushing her away.  scar- the fluffiest mainecoone you've seen in your life; she was once deeply affectionate and loving towards other daemons and quiet with kind words and reassurances towards other humans, but has long since become very reserved and quiet, opting instead to perch on scar and silently observe whats going on around him.  that being said much of that former loving energy has gone into trying to comfort and assist scar as best as she can- she is night constantly purring, fussing and nuzzling over him, doing her damndest to ease his pain even a little

she’s also not to be crossed, and has long since ditched any and all qualms about contact with other humans if it means getting a well deserved bite or swat in- similarly, she will fight other daemons tooth and claw and fuery

she fusses over both mei and nina’s daemons when they inevitably join up with scar, but doesnt talk with anyone but scar

she will often hide in his clothes when traveling, so that scar can travel with nina and try and pass her off as his daemon (as this shrugs off suspicion of what nina is, and steers suspicion away from him due to the species of his daemon being known by the military- theyre looking for a man with a large cat, not a strange dog) nina tucker (survives)- unsettled; Extremely frantic and neurotic, often confused. he is highly prone to lashing out and panicking. nina herself is unusually calm, and somewhat lethargic, and as a result all of her terror over whats happened to her is coming out of her daemon almost entirely. he must be near constantly reassured, but is getting better, and even at times nina herself will pick him up and hold him not unlike a doll, during which are some of the few moments he relaxes completely- reassured at least for now that while they are Different they are still Whole

he used to take on a form similar to alexander but now typically takes on very small forms out of a desperation to hide shou tucker- doe, eerie without intending to be, soft spoken and extremely gentle and kind, weepy, goes into fits of distress whenever shou’s wife is mentioned, led the boys to nina and shou during the night of the Incident all while apologizing profusely because He Did It Again He Did It Again And She Couldn’t Stop Him, saw scar coming in but didnt bother to alert shou because she wanted them both to die kimblee- an african grey parrot, seems to be perpetually shrieking whether from excitement or anger is uncertain. gets unsettling with how generally calm kimblee himself is in comparison. they never seem to be in sync emotionally but she’s just as malevolent as he is

izumi- izumi’s daemon is a grizzly bear, and the two of them seem at constant odds with eachother, highly prone to outright screaming matches and arguements- this usually frightens and stresses people out around them, but anyone who is familiar with the two is used to it. 

they will bicker about small things all the time, but their larger, louder conflicts typically happen where the elrics are involved- mostly with izumi’s daemon objecting aggressively with her treatment of the boys, and feeling its too harsh, and pointing out to her that they both know its too harsh

she knows he’s right, but hates hearing it, so they typically end up yelling it out

he’s not particularly affectionate or loving or doting, and in fact is by nature of being a massive fucking bear highly intimidating, but he’s always very careful to be gentle around children, particularly the elrics

homunculi- ive seen a lot of daemon aus for fma that just dont give the homunculi daemons and while i understand that i think its more fun to play with the absolute horror of if they DID have daemons. the homunculi all have daemon’s that are unbound to them, seemingly having a limitless range they can travel away from their partner- none of them resemble any particular sort of animal. they are all twisted, and warped, and would possibly resemble some sort of animal mish-mash were it not for the fact that their bodies dont seem to follow any sort of law of physical reality at all. they are all mute, and their behavior seems bizarre, but despite this each of them does have a distinct personality that is related to their homunculus. 

the homunculi also literally cannot see them at all, despite humans around them being able to do so; but due to the range of the daemons, and the fact that their appearance is so warped, humans dont actually recognize them as daemons, instead assuming them to be some sort of ghosts or cryptids or the like

the homunculi are unaware they have daemons at all- Father has a massive, mutated beehive of a daemon that they all assume is because he is a copy of Hohenheim, and Wrath has a daemon that belonged to the human he once was- she is unsettled, but rigidly maintains the form of a lioness to paint an impressive image of the fuhrer. she is in nigh constant pain that she keeps hidden, though her limbs and flesh are prone to warping and twisting in unnatural ways if she ever loses her focus

the homunculi assume that these are Strange Exceptions 

(Pride gets away with passing off as human and not having a daemon by claiming that “she’s deeply shy, and likes to be a doormouse so she can hide”; people find this endearing)

thats all i have for now feel free to ask questions

[phynali]

hey! just saw your post on nb aesthetic esp your tags abt you having long "non-visibly-queer" hair & idk if you remember this or not but I do bc it was super helpful/positive for me to see it - I sent you an ask awhile ago abt you being queer&genderqueer and talking abt your husband/you guys being happy and see you say this is p much the same feeling - I'm p sure I’m nb?but also ppl have said I’m obvs not bc (among other things) I have long hair not a “queer” haircut so I must be fake & (1/2)

(2/2) sometimes I feel like I am fake but so seeing that post in general was nice but also seeing your comment was rly, rly, rly nice & I can’t really articulate how ! it was to see you say that you’ve got long hair too and are still nb & it feels weird to thank you for just talking about your existence? but. it really is incredibly helpful to see that so - thank you.

hey

thanks for sending this message. it was actually really affirming for me? just the reminder that i’m not alone with feelings like this.

i’m so sorry that people have tried to tell you that you’re not not nb because you don’t have the right ~aesthetic~. it’s honestly such bullshit. there is no one ‘right’ way to “look” nonbinary. you can dress in skirts and dresses and do your makeup up to the nines with long flowing hair and still identify as nonbinary, as a woman, or as a man. presentation =/= identity. same with the opposite. you can crop your hair short and wear men’s cut clothes and zero makeup and still identify as nonbinary, as a man, or as a woman. the clothes on our backs and the cuts of our hair don’t define who we are inside.

and heck, i admire the people with awesome haircuts that are protypically or aggressively queer. i love those styles, i really do. i even envy them sometimes, and part of me definitely has daydreamed about getting a cut like that more than once. but there’s a level of visibility that comes along with it (and i’m self-conscious to begin with) and because i am married (to a man), most people who’ve met me will probably not even pick up on the message about my identity anyway. so who am i getting the cut for? myself? or strangers on the internet to put the rubber stamp of approval next to my gender identity? 

and i struggle with the hair thing in part because i’ve tried to do the short hair and it looked like crap (i.e., it made me look younger and childish at a time when i was aiming for the opposite, and most stylists i went to for short haircuts weren’t giving me a queer look so much as giving me a short haircut that was ‘in’ at the time but distinctly for women?). i also hate the upkeep on short hair because it grows so fast and no way am i willing to go for a cut more often than i do now. kudos to all the people out there who can upkeep short hair. 

i also grew up with my father and older brother having long hair for most of my childhood, and my mother shaved all her hair off one year and then had short hair for about 5 years, so i don’t inherently associate short hair = masculine and long hair = feminine. i’m actually typically attracted to long hair on guys? and them having long hair doesn’t detract from their masculinity, so i try not to let myself get too worried about my own long hair. 

anyway, all this is to say that i recently realized i’ve got insecurities about the length of my hair with respect to my gender identity, maybe because the past few years have been the first time in my life where i actually like my hair and don’t want to change it, but that means accepting and dealing with any hang-ups i have about it as it is now. it fits how i want to see myself, even if the rest of the world makes their own misguided assumptions about me because of it.

but back to you.

if someone ever tries to tell you that you aren’t nonbinary (esp. over something as ridiculous as the length of your hair), they’re an asshole, full stop. they don’t know your gender identity better than you. and if they purport to tell you they know your gender and you don’t, they’re an asshole, and nbphobic (exorsexist? idk the right terms, honestly).

it’s happened to me. more than once. but this one time in particular, i came out as genderqueer to a friend (an ex) and the first words out of his mouth, honestly just an automatic knee-jerk reaction so fast, were “no. you’re not.” and i just. i was flabbergasted. because how dare this dude dare tell me what i am and am not? as if he knows my gender identity better than i do? so i said “yes. i am.” and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and i said i always had been and finally found the word to describe it and he said “okay” and that was that. 

other people don’t know your experiences better than you. other people don’t get to pick your labels for you. i’ve had people try to tell me i should id has genderfluid instead of genderqueer and i just… rolled my eyes. like no, thanks for trying to fit me into a term that makes you more comfortable, but i’ll define my identity as i experience it.

you’re not fake. you don’t have to look or act a certain way to know that you’re nonbinary. 

i have days where i struggle with wondering if i’m faking it still, even though i’ve been defining my identity this way for over 6 years now, literally ever since the first time i discovered words for nonbinary identities and had that lightbulb moment of “oh. that’s it. that’s what i’ve been missing my entire life.” i struggle even though i look back and know my whole life till now, this is who i am. it fluctuates and varies a bit, yeah, but this is my truth. it’s always been my truth. even if the rest of the world has missed it (and honestly, not all of them did miss it, they just didn’t have language for it either, and a lot of people just want to put their heads in the sand when it comes to this stuff).

and i don’t bind and some days i wish i did. i’m a coward and i’m scared to buy a binder, but i secretly really want one. i don’t have a short or obviously queer haircut and i feel like the world will think i’m hiding and not queer enough when really i just happen to like my current style. i’m short as fuck and my voice is high like a chipmunk. so if anyone looks at or talks to me, they code me as a woman and there’s honestly nothing short of taking hormones i can ever do to change that, based on my body-type and characteristics. and that’s just part of my reality.

so i’m working on being satisfied with knowing my own self. with talking to friends and family when i feel comfortable enough to, and making sure they understand my identity and respect it. with living my gender identity and actualizing my masculinity in ways that feel affirming to me instead of ways that make me feel like i’m silly or trying too hard. 

and that’s my general advice here: do what makes you feel right and good. do the things that make you feel like you fit in your own skin, if you can. affirm yourself that your experiences are valid. that your truth is real. doubt is normal, and it’s okay, and i experience it too. but your truth is your own, and everyone else can get bent.

[motorcyclegirlfriends]

Also, people view Chyler as like a LGBT champion(and I do find her amazing, don't misunderstand), but her and Melissa are really close. She's said in an interview her kids call her aunt Melissa. So like, if people really champion Chyler that much, shouldn't people trust her judgment of Melissa a bit more. Like she's actually speaks to her and knows her personally.

But if you confront these fans with that, they’d likely come up with a reason that Chyler actually hates Melissa now. 

Off the top of my head, they’d say something like… 

“Chyler didn’t defend Melissa on social media, so she must be angry with her. These tweets that happened after SDCC-

-were created by the Supergirl publicist. You can tell by how they copied the two girls dancing together from her past tweets about their sisterhood, before she realized what Melissa is really like. The emoji of the girls doesn’t even make sense here lmao the Supergirl publicist is so bad at their job omfg”

or alternatively, closer to what I’ve actually seen regarding this-

“Chlyer probably doesn’t even know about the SDCC event. Or she only heard it from their side. She would probably agree with us if she knew what really happened, but she might never know how Melissa really is.”

There’s been a general tendency to frame the actors of Supergirl who are on good terms within this fandom against the actors who are not, at all logical costs.

And so as soon as the fandom has issue with an actor, even if they all previously were perceived as having an amicable or close relationship with the other members of the cast, the fandom will suddenly act like the “good” cast members hate this cast member. 

For instance,

David

When the musical recap first dropped, people were making posts that put thoughts into David Harewood’s head, proposing that he was embarrassed by Melissa and Jeremy.

The infamous letter to Melissa’s publicist even said “[…] save for Katie Mcgrath and David Harewood who appeared uncomfortable […]”

And that’s what most fans on that side of the debate seemed to believe.

But then David tweeted-

Which just speaks to how flawed many fans’ interpretations of the meaning behind the cast’s actions are.

So now he’s on the other side of the line, and the fans have moved from acting like he’s super close with Katie and Odette and they’re all against Mel and Jeremy, to acting like the ‘good guys’ actually hate him too.

Mechad

Mehcad’s fallout is weirder, because it felt like some fans initially didn’t want him on the ‘good side,’ though I do remember seeing post that were pro- Katie, David, and Mechad vs the rest of the cast before they turned around.

I’d been kind of avoiding people who were overreacting to the event by the time the anger spread to Mehcad, but looking back at Mehcad’s tag, people thought he said “Zitta” ( “shut up,” in Italian) in response to Katie saying that art can be interpreted in many different ways (referring to supercorp). And then I think? I remember seeing more criticisms, based on that belief, of Mehcad speaking Italian? Don’t take my word for it.

But he really rather clearly was saying “take that.” (Watch this. Op thought Mehcad said “Take that” then “zitta zitta”, but in the second instance he was actually saying “take tha take tha” quickly. Look away from the video when it says “Zitta zitta” and listen for the “t” sound in the beginning of the phrase.)

Because this is such a big leap to me, I do wonder if those who believed it wanted to be angry with Mehcad. And the originator of this idea didn’t appear to speak italian, so it’s not as naturally occurring a mishearing, which makes me wonder if they were looking for it to be negative.

Then Mehcad responded to someone’s comment on instagram (I’m not sure if he’s said anything else about it) and people had a somewhat less ridiculous reason to “cancel” him.

Note: “I’m a member of the HRC so I can’t be homophobic” is an incredibly misleading simplification of what happened

A piece of the comment he responded to, relevant sections to his response bolded:

“You don’t get to decide if we the queer fans you supposedly support can or cannot be sad over this because even tho you supported the community at some point it doesn’t come as genuine right now when we see things like that horrible interview in which only katie mcgrath was demonstrating to be a real ally in defending the fans views, that’s how you treat your fans who have supported you through this years and helped this show get bigger! […] 

So next time try to educate yourself before speaking […]”

His response:

“don’t post to my page again if you’re going to be rude. I don’t supposedly support anyone. I’m a member of the HRC. I’ve consistently supported all human rights. Race and preference included. You don’t know me. Do your research.”

Essentially, he was responding to accusations that he is ingenue in his support of lgbt+ rights and accusations that he is uneducated about lgbt+ issues.

Kind of, ‘I don’t supposedly support queer ppl, I actively support them.’

He wasn’t saying “I am a member of the HRC so that gives me a free pass,” he was responding directly to an accusation that he isn’t a real ally.

Side note: My own issue with “only katie mcgrath was demonstrating to be a real ally in defending the fans views” - 

Not only did Katie initially laugh at the musical recap (before remembering the wlw fans that she, more than anyone in the cast, has had contact with. These fans have followed her and interacted with her since her “breakout” so she’s likely the most sensitive to their possible reactions), but Mehcad also supported Katie’s affirmation that fans can read what they want from the show with his “take that”, and also showed a visible reluctance to support Jeremy when he said that he debunked Supercorp.

Which makes the anti-Mehcad upsurge kinda sad because he seemed to be on Supercorp’s side, in a way.

Side note, similar to the Mehcad situation:

“Melissa said ‘I can’t be homophobic because I was on Glee’” is again, incredibly misleading.

There is of course some question of the validity of the note, but assuming that it’s real, this is the actual quote from Melissa’s publicist (not Melissa herself. Honestly I guarantee that she hasn’t even read the letter):

“You’ve indicted people who are genuine ambassadors of acceptance, compassion and equality and have proven as much, not on only Glee but on SUPERGIRL and in their own personal lives.”

Her publicist said this kind of within the context of ‘advice’, saying things such as, “However, as an activist, it’s very important that you take a step back before inflicting public scorn.”

My read was that it wasn’t an argument against Melissa being homophobic, but an argument for the writer to think about what she’s doing. To consider that she’s punishing people who want to help and have tried to help, for things they didn’t do.

(Of course, someone who wrote a letter “on behalf of LGBT women” would feel "disrespected and patronized" by advice and criticisms from someone with professional experience in public relations)

(I also wonder if the publicist kinda knew that Glee wasn’t enough, considering her phrasing of “not on only Glee.” But I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t realize that Glee isn’t exactly highly regarded in lgbt+ spaces. It’s not a discourse straight people are usually familiar with.)

But putting the words “I can’t be homophobic because I was on Glee” into Melissa’s mouth is ridiculous and a move made only to further tarnish her image on this website.

Melissa

Before any of this, a lot of Supercorp fans wanted to put Melissa in the “demon” category. 

Any news that was ambiguous in meaning was read in the worst possible light until there was a backlash in the form of a more positive interpretation (usually from Supercorp shippers who like Kara), and they’d back off for a bit.

Now I’m not sure if this was in response to Melissa beginning to date Chris Wood, or because of an urge to prop up Katie Mcgrath as the one who deserves more attention than the lead. Maybe both. (Maybe neither, I’m open to alternate interpretations.)

Chris

Chris had a falling out, but they never put him on the good side. He was neutral/in waiting for the bad side because of who he plays.

But they couldn’t “strike,” so to speak, because Chris Wood himself hadn’t actually done anything. There was likely some degree of anti-Chris posts, but there were also regular reminders from the some bloggers that, “Chris Wood is not Mon-El, don’t send him hate.”

Then, I think it was his first (?) video interview about Supergirl in which he very clearly liked Mon-El and Karamel, and that was enough reason for him to be considered evil incarnated.

And so the “Chris Wood is not Mon-El” posts died down in response to the idea that ‘he endorses Mon-El’s behavior.’

(My read of Wood is that he knows that Mon-El isn’t like… Doing the Right Things, but sympathizes with him and thinks he is getting better. Over sympathizes. He thinks it’s interesting or compelling or whatever, like a lot of people do. As a society we have way too much sympathy and interest for man-children and their ‘accidental misogyny’ turned ‘okay person’. But it’s not an uncommon reaction to this kind of character, across the board. 

At this stage in the recognition of this trope’s problems, it’s the kind of issue we should work on, not one that we should completely renounce people for enjoying.

I mean, I’m not exactly the biggest fan of the guy and have some degree of issue with other things, but Mon-El’s actions are still not Chris’ actions. I’ll criticize him for things he actually does, thanks.)

But when Melissa started dating Chris, it became impossible for people to say things like “Save Melissa from having to act along side Chris” or “She looks so pained in her scenes with him, compared to with Katie” because we all knew that she definitely likes the guy. 

And sort of accusing Chris of abusing Melissa and forcing her to stay in the relationship, they had to accept that she enjoys his company. (That would be a step too far. But I do wonder if it might have escalated to that point in the future.)

So she couldn’t 100% be on the good side, because she didn’t hate the people on the bad side. But she also couldn’t be on the bad side, because then Katie would have to hate her. And then there goes Supercorp.

…But then Odette came on the scene, just as Melissa participated in saying that Kara and Lena are only friends.

And with the announcement that Lena and Reign are somehow connected, fans who were frustrated with not being able to condemn Melissa are given free ‘reign’.

This is why people are shipping reigncorp, because they have new blood who couldn’t possibly have done anything to upset fans yet, and they can easily divide the cast into people they hate and people the love.

But the only person who is truly safe is Katie Mcgrath, not only because she has a lot more experience with wlw fans and knows what not to say and because she doesn’t have any social media to say the wrong thing on, but because she is their favorite. 

And so no matter what happens, she is always going to be on the good side.

So the argument that Chyler loves Melissa and is a good judge of character will not work.

But if tomorrow, Melissa Benoist said she loves Katie Mcgrath, and Katie Mcgrath said Melissa is a really good person, the fans might suddenly shift Melissa to the good side. 

Because they see the world in black and white, but their fave is more their moral compass than anything else.

[dream--walker]

bedraft replied to your post “[[MOR] the older i get the more my dream stories are becoming...”

if you're interested in writing up a messy transcript, hell yes am i interested in reading it

24/11/17 nap, chill hang with the spy network

spy/infiltration/agent story? the extermely overly techy half circle underground base, there is a very developed actual AI, and a specialist codenamed "merlin" (this is blatantly a kingsman thing my brain did btw)? who is the specialist who does all the things the ai cant and in general is the person u go to support for....

prev dream with the setup, the half circle base that actually is kinda convolutedly directly linked via underground paths to the oppoing major big bad asshole base which in this dream is nazis :) good work brain. in prev dream our base was infiltrated, major capture of agents and specialists all held in the big bad base, plot is me (cause i'm one of the agents) basically sneak infiltrating and freeing my team - in that dream the specialist, not me, knew about the secret long windy path and showed it to me (which is a seperate big thing, i'm always the main fucking OP hero in my dreams, dream chars having info that i don't and kills that i don't have is a big thing the way it's becoming more and more of a thing recently)

anyway we get back to our base via windy underground paths and our base is overrun with baddies, i sneak lead ppl all around them to avoid them noticing us, to the escape/travel pods, mutiple ones, shaped like long capsules in the ground, just one of the ends of the capsules are out from the ground, control screen at the bottom (but voice commands work too cause AI), can be 4? or 5? people in a single capsule, one above other, footholds handholds in capsule, people filled in, all went to my base, big beautiful modern home ai integrated, (fuck brain, design is so good????) anyway as we escape, and as we leave we launch a chem poison purge of the base, leave as it starts, alls ok all safe assholes are dead

now i rmemebr setup dreams that i have forgoteen before better after i get a "part 2" dream so that thing above was just what i remember of the setup dream which i think happened months ago

this dream, is like, all ok, all chill, no big deadly plot, hanging out joking around at the main base, now clean of asshole corpses thinking about ones we lost (update to story, people were least in the whole mess of the previous dream). i had lost a man i cared for more deeply than i cared to admit, a fellow agent (stuff had happened?? casual but whoops i guess not)... "merlin" lost his wife? i think. hanging out, me, some specialists, agents, some new, at the main base of operations, socializing, planning a group chill/hang event

i notice accidentally stumbling in a young guy, aggreisve red swastika t shirt, bags, confused, startled, a bit panicked as he realizes where he's at, tries to bolt, i yell for others and go after him, me and others apprehend him, press him against the railing. you realize where you are, who i am. you joined their party, how old are you. "l8" i am disgusted. but he's a young idiot. he will be prosecuted we will hand him over to authorities, i will not kill an 18 year old. i show him one of the agents who apprehended him they are brown and queer and excellent. this is what you fear? the future is already here. you can't stop it.

a bit of a skip

i take a travel/emergency pod to my home base. it is agreed that event will be held at my place. me and AI clean place, order food (a human convo with ai gets interrupted by alarm so i can't rememebr it almost at all uuuurrggghh but i know it was about 500 times more deeper than i expected)

again a bit of a skip

patry is on people are at my place hanigng socialzing and having fun

me and merlin, spererately, at one of the seperate house builings. me enthusing again about a new addition to the house really unecessarily extravagant and stupid stuff that i don't actually need or want, but the goal is reached, he is amused and laughs and jokes about funding and how much of the agnecy's resources go to entertaining me

others arrive, it is nice, it is fun, as the evening goes on trhough social cues and general flirty, not flirty at all sort of just casual fuckery... me leaning against kitchen counter, white wine glass in hand, casual remark "perhaps you'd like to join me later", merlin, whiskey glass in hand, casual remark "i don't see why not should be fun". (omg this is the chillest sex convo i've had in me dreams ever what the fuck) me and merlin spend the night together. it is soft and caring and nice and not much else

skip

morning me in kitchen. (i was a wearing a nonsense white whispy robe that is bulsshit but also i want one) the narration (yeah, literally narration. didn't happen before or after, but this point me brian gave me a narrator that i disagreed with but narration in my dreams always follows "pretty poetic text (might not always be true tho)") goes smth like "and then you wake up the next day and really realize what happened last night. in retrospect, it was cheating. you may not like that it is, but that is what it is. both of you had so many chances to stop and turn away but both of you didn't. maybe it was needed". i feel a bit akward about it, juice glass in hand, go over to main, living room hangout area, some have left, others that stayed night are awake, greet me, (merlin not there) someone had spilt something on my nice white couch, there is stuff on the surface of the arm handle so the ai can't just do the cleaning itself, i absentmindedly log in the "ticket".

go to kitchen to pick up some stuff/food for me and people, come back, merlin is dressed, wiping away the stain. we lock eyes, and we both smile and laugh, others laugh with us. (he is my main support person and lol always catering to me and omg that is the joke) i wake up with the nicest warmest happy and content emotional feeling that set the mood for the rest of the evening. we both needed that feeling of support and closeness and fuck the narrator, there was no guilt, it was just nice