#and have a talk about girlhood
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hey actually, character swap where Nancy goes to Cali to be w/Jonathan for spring break and Mike stays in Hawkins
#personal#nancy wheeler#mike wheeler#is this anything?#bc it should be i think#mostly nancy and el can have more screen time#and have a talk about girlhood#about how what el yearned for is what nancy abandoned#....and such...
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Being a Forcefem hacker really got so easy since July
Back in my day we had to take over their YouTube account, make it push femboy videos, push TG comics on their twitters, make them win Guilty Gear give always, put Blahaj’s in their carts when shopping for furniture, make up tutorials, cosplay guides, so so much effort for just one cute girl
Now all I do is take over the pc, put on “I watched the TV glow” and it does the rest
#back in the day we had phases!!!#I had to gradually introduce them to being an Ally#who just cares a lot about trans folks#then make them intrastate in femboys#maybe take a side step in furry-dom#and only THEN could I make the final step to getting her to admit her girlhood#but *noooo* now all we need is one movie#no blackmail#not even a forceful takeover!#just put it on and it does the rest!!!#kids these days have it so easy#but I can’t deny results :/#.#gentle#forcefem#i-like-talking#..#GO WATCH I THE TV GLOW RIGHT NOW!!!#DO IT!!!!!
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You don't realize how much sexual harassment fucked you up until your in dance class and the girl fixing your dress asks permission to touch you and you almost cry bcuz you're not used to people doing that
#happened last year but was reading through old journals#also FUCK MIDDLE SCHOOL cuz thats where most of it happened#fucking hated that place#so glad its over#ik everyone has shitty middle achool experiences but im still pissy and I have to see a therapist about what happened there lol#but hey at least people were right#it does get better#BECAUSE IM NOT FUCKING THERE ANYMORE#talking#rambling#cptsd#harassment#girlhood#anti harrassment
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for the dipshits and the disorderly
#hi i dont have anything to say about this#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#girlhood#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girl things#girl thoughts#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#girl talk#girl code#girl therapy
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Me defensively claiming I have no interest in romance:
Them pulling these mfs from me:
#YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!#Ok fine maybe im a hopeless romantic to the right person#if there is a right person#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girl blogger#just girly things#im just a girl#cinnamon girl#girlblogger#girl interrupted#girlblog#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#hopeless romantic#hopelessly in love#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl hysteria#girl interrupted syndrome#girl problems#girl interupted syndrome#girl rotting#girl blog#girl thoughts#girlblog aesthetic#girlhood#girlcore#girly stuff
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#I HATE MYSELF#I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE#I HATE BEING DEPENDENT ON SOMEONE WHO OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE#I HAVE TO BEG TO TALK TO HER I DONT WANT TO FUCKING DO THAT#WHY CANT YOU JUST WANT TO STILL TALK TO ME??????????#WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT MAKES ALL THE PEOPLE I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT NOT LIKE ME ENOUGH????????????????#WHAT AM I DOING WRONG#this is a girlblog#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#female hysteria#coquette#girlblogging#girlhood#female insanity#femcel#Spotify
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there is something so so special about hearing a song that you have loved for years live ....
#fearless n 1989 set highlight of the show bc you could tell people had so many memories attached to the songs#Especially ybwm and love story#I said 'taylor doesn't have a The River' earlier but maybe her The River just needs to marinate a bit more#Still. I only felt hints of the collective feeling of girlhood catharsis#That ppl talked about during the fearless set
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i despise my friends
#they are so disrespectful and mean#they hate on the nices teatchers#they talk shit about then and coment on there looks#they judge everyone around them#all ghey care about when it comes to love is money#they are such hateful beings#they disrespect the country they live in while they would have been dead or abused in their homeland#they are so ungrateful#they are so ungrateful for everything#i hate them#i despise them#they disgust me#girlblogging#vent#venting#vent post#girlhood#tumblr girls#i hate my friends#i don't even know why im friends with them
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Really glad to see so many of my mutuals hating on the word girlhood. Welcome ..... ive been here the whole time
#clicking on the tags subjects u to My Rant btw#1. i automatically dislike it when a specific phrase or wording is used to turn an incredible diversity of experiences into a monolith and#with that particular word the monolith is 'ouughhh all we do is suffer we have no joy *jennifers body foundation gif*' like ok?? shut up#2. if youre unable to talk about feminist issues without using some post format like 'girlhood is ___' than i dont trust u fr!!!!#3. the particular phrase 'girlhood is ____' fills in the blank w hyperspecific experiences bc thats what the format is. and genuinely 80% o#the time the mentioned experience is one that only applies to a specific subset of women. and that subset is always white thin non-disabled#middle class cisgender and probably conventionally attractive. which by NO means covers all womens experiences so it just feels exclusionar#and bioessentialist most the time. like if something fucked up happened to u and youre able to talk abt it with the format then maybe just#talk about it instead of publicly defining your experiences as the essential rites of passage to being a girl or woman. come ON#sorry for ranting lol im just so tired of people only being able to talk about oppression with a fucking meme format#l
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freaking like. eshka is getting into gender stuff that’s like. hmmmm this is really uhhhh Close and Personal huh
#when you spin around the gender wheel so much that you kinda end up back where you started#but just a touch to the left#I know I ain’t alone in the whole being so isolated from girlhood growing up bc you didn’t do being a girl correctly#you didn’t act the right way or talk the right way or dress the right way. neurodivergent fat ugly girl problems#blah blah blah girlhood looks different for everyone! can we talk#can we talk about how the influence of ur peers growing up is Incredibly Important#I felt no unity of girlhood growing up. I did not understand having a comforting group of girls to hang out with#I did not understand the sisterhood of the traveling pants#anyway yeah eshka got some vibes of like. being isolated from your given identity as a child#so you turn to self exploration and find comfort in other ways of expressing yourself#and then you eventually arrive at some point of comfort with the identity you were given as a child#she’s 100 percent nb and consider herself trans#it’s just she’s made a weird little. kinda circle#anyway smiles wide I am normal about myself#oc: eshka#something I don’t have in common w her is that she likes math#and her chest + arm tattoos are inspired by that lovr#I’m thinking her face scar is from an accident early in the crows#and that she got sat down and taken care of and realized that this is just another family#one that is. deeply deeply flawed but nevertheless it holds people capable of great evil and great goodness
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Rant in the tags... I am insufferable
#i keep watching video essays that annoy me.....#largely about like idk 'girlhood' 💀#and they never make sense or come across as relatable because smth like loneliness or relationship drama or identity for women is ALWAYS#connected to relationship history with men 💀#and h*terosexuality is treated as an universal aspect of womanhood#this also makes many stories unrelatable to me. a man existing is not a crime but stories saying smth deep about womanhood through how women#feel about men makes it alienating when you don't see the world that way#also idk some video essays are just soo pretentious and the person talking obviously doesnt know enough abt the topic#this doesnt only go for 'girlhood' type essays btw it also goes for the stuff i watch about minecraft and ts2 etc (yeah...) 😂💀#anyway yeah where is the essay about the universal girl experience of wanting to be crown prince rudolf (JOKING)#no but the thing is... watching dune made me realise... ppl never let a girl be a hero in blockbusters IN THE SAME WAY men get to be#st*r w*rs tried but the overall plot failed in many parts & people couldnt be normal abt it#idk i do think its because of how sex and romance are treated way differently in women's stories....... women never have those happen#just randomly on the side as things that build her up and somewhat affect the hero's journey - it often becomes About The Man#(because often it is a man)#idk#where's girl p*ul atr*ides. where's girl j*sus. where's girl crown prince rudolf#(in my fanfics.... that last one is in my fanfics...)#well just one so far unfortunately 😔
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"Five minutes later, he turned into the corner saloon for his nightly one-and-only drink, in time to hear a man say: '. . .I read when alcohol was invented, the Italians thought it was the big thing they'd been looking for for centuries. The Elixir of Life! Did you know that? 'No.' The bartender's back was turned. 'Sure.' the man went on. 'Distilled wine. Ninth, tenth century. Looked like water. But it burnt. I mean, it not only burnt the mouth and stomach, but you could set it on fire. So they thought they'd mixed water and fire. Fire-water, the Elixir Vitae, by God. Maybe they weren't so far wrong thinking it was the Cure-all, the thing that worked miracles. Have a drink!?' 'I don't need it,' said Halloway. 'But someone inside me does.' 'Who?' The boy I once was, thought Halloway, who runs like the leaves down the sidewalk autumn nights. But he couldn't say that. So he drank, eyes shut, listening to hear if that thing inside turned over again, rustling in the deep bons that were stacked for burning but never burned."
Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes
#words#reading this and thinking it's perfectly fine for women to talk so much about girlhood... men have been doing it for ages...#childhood is short but wide... it takes up space
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thinking about how jackie taylor’s biggest flaw is that she‘a a teenage girl
#her style of leadership and conflict resolution are only fit for the world they left behind#like no of course pep talks and seances don’t work like they might have back home#the rules are different in the wilderness#and jackie can’t (or won’t) adapt to that#because of course she can’t#because she’s seventeen and her biggest worry before the crash was not wanting to have sex with her boyfriend#and that’s why Jackie’s death is inevitable because she’s still in the world they left behind#jackie taylor#yellowjackets#everyday i get closer to writing that essay about Yellowjackets and the viciousness of girlhood#kat speaks
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i want to be ginger so bad but it looks terrible on my skintone so i guess i'll just get bangs instead
#my bangs also looked horrible but we're not gonna talk about that right now#i just miss them and the only reason i don't have them anymore is because my mom thinks i looked horrible#but who tf cares what she thinks#my diary#online diary#tumblr diary#diary#digital diary#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#personal diary#pinterest girl#tumblr girls#it girl#manic pixie dream girl#mean girls#girlhood#this is what makes us girls
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i wish i were a girl, i wish i could be comfortable with being afab and go be she/her but instead im some loser agender
#everytime i see people talking about girlhood or womanhood i just feel a sense of envy because i wish i could have that#but i was so bad at being a girl i had to pull out the they/them#but people still she/her me because i dont look androgynous
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Sometimes I still feel like I was just some kind of. Failed woman. I know that I’m a man and I know that other people don’t see me as a man, but I also don’t feel like they see me as a woman per say. Not to say they’re interpreting me as nonbinary or androgynous or something but rather I simply don’t qualify as male or female in their eyes. Other trans men and nonbinary people talk about their connections to womanhood, their significant bonds with women based on experiences that people perceived as women share, and I’ve always felt. Outside of that. Like I’ve been denied access to girlhood/womanhood even when I was a girl, even at my most feminine, I was always doing it wrong somehow, my gender performance always had to be evaluated, critiqued, corrected by people I did not ask. I tried my best but I could never get it right and because I still don’t perform either gender in the expected way I’m denied being treated as either gender, I’m denied being even acknowledged most of the time. It feels strange. It’s easy to say it never worked out because I was always meant to grow up to be a man. But it doesn’t explain why I can’t even relate to other transmen with these experiences.
#thinking about gender tonight y’all lord help me#I know I was a girl before. I considered myself one even if I wasn’t very good at it#and I tried to be good at it#I often think of that girl#when we were 13 and she looked at me out of nowhere. never spoken to me before.#and she said ‘you know you would be so pretty if you wore makeup’#and I felt so confused because I thought I was pretty. I was a pretty girl. despite how hard people tried to make me feel differently#and she would continue trying to correct me from there on#but I never did it right#and I know being a man is what fits right#but most cis people and even some other trans people don’t see me that way and don’t treat me that way#I’m just denied the privilege of identifying with either binary gender#I have a strong feeling autism has something to do with it#but even then#I often don’t relate to the way people talk about ‘autistic girlhood’
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