#and jackie can’t (or won’t) adapt to that

[tentotea]

thinking about how jackie taylor’s biggest flaw is that she‘a a teenage girl

[bullet-prooflove]

Poppy Seeds: Cal Thresher x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @queenslandlover-93 @nu1freakshow @lazilynervoussong @mimi-8793

Companion piece to:

The Madness in the Genius - Cal and you have a special arrangement.

Jackie Ming is a problem. One that Cal doesn’t know how to solve.

You can sense his restlessness as he walks through the grow, see the tension in his jaw when he looks at the poppies flourishing in the central field. You feel his frustration when he fucks you, it’s raw, vengeful, passionate.

You know all of this stems from the fact Jackie put a gun to your head.

The fact he threatened to pull the trigger when you refused to engineer a stronger sample of poppies. You hate the fucking things, they’re too simple, too boring. You like the complexity of working marijuana, the adaptability of it, the challenge.

Cannabis, it’s holistic, it cleans the soil, draining it of chemicals and heavy metals, leaving it pure for the next batch. Poppies they strangle everything around them, depositing their seeds for the next round of germination.

“She’ll do it.” Cal had answered for you as Jackie’s thumb pulled back the hammer of the Glock. “She’ll cultivate whatever the fuck you want.”

No I fucking won’t, you’d thought but Cal had given you that look and you knew better than to argue the point.

Now you’re working in the lab that Cal pays for, bio engineering poppies that produce twice the opium than the ones already growing out in the field. The potency of the seeds you hold in your hand, it’s enough to kill an addict ten times over.

“Sit with me.” Jackie says after he summons you to his makeshift workspace at the edge of the grow. It’s a site office like the ones that people use in construction. There’s a beverage station tucked away in the corner, one with an authentic Chinese tea set resting upon the counter. It’s the only thing he still embraces from his hertiage, everything else about him from the tracksuits to the gold screams Americanisation.

You take the offered chair across from his desk, sitting in silence as you watch him decant the tea that's been brewing in the cast iron tea pot into a single cup. He doesn’t offer you one and you don’t ask.

You understand it for what it is. A powerplay, one you’re well acquainted with from your time working with corporations and the Bevilaqua Family. It’s meant to put you in your place, remind you whose in control here.

“There’s going to be a change of management today.” He tells you as the steam winds from the cup. There’s a nutty aroma in the air, more cloying that his usual brand.

“What happens to Cal?” You ask him and his eyes flicker up to meet yours as he lifts that cup to his lips.

There’s a soullessness in Jackie, one that you’ve never seen in another human being in all your time on this earth. You’ve worked with sociopaths before, even a few psychopaths but never with someone as ruthless or malevolent as this. Someone who gets off on pain, who enjoys it.

“He’ll be taken care of.” Jackie tells you, finally taking a sip of his poppy seed tea.

You know what that means, a bullet to the back of the head, a shallow grave in one of the fields so his body can be used for fertiliser. That’s what they’d done with the others they’d killed, you assume it’ll be no different.

“You know I can’t let that happen.” You tell him as you uncross and then recross your legs.

“You don’t really have a…” The tea kicks in then, the one brewed with the poppy seeds you’ve spend weeks cultivating in your lab. It’s a massive spike of opium straight to his nervous system, one strong enough to cause an OD.

It’s not like in the movies, there’s no seizure, no violence, just the sound of Jackie’s head striking the desk as he slumps forward in his seat. His breathing becomes, slow, erratic. A light rasp that echoes through the makeshift office as you remained seated, watching the raise and fall of his ribcage. When it finally stops, you push yourself to your feet, placing two fingers against his jugular, checking for a pulse.

Nothing.

As you look down at him you expect to feel something but there’s just this void because Jackie, he wasn’t human, not really. After the things you’ve seen him do, you doubt you’ll lose any sleep over his death.

It’s late when Cal comes to the greenhouse that night. He’s reviewing a couple of contracts when he glances outside of his window and realises the lights are on in the distance. You’re still up, working away diligently and it makes him smile because the two of you are both night owls. He raises to his feet , the vertebrae in his back popping before he decides to take a walk down there, see if you’ll join him at the house for a little wine, a little extracurricular activity to chase away the pressure he feels bearing down on him.

When he enters the glass structure, there you are with a shovel in your hand, patting down the soil in the new planting bed. There’s dirt smeared on your clothes, a streak of it on your cheek.

“I took care of the Jackie problem.” You tell him, using the back of your wrist to push your hair back away from your flushed features.

His eyebrows furrow into a frown at that statement because it can’t just be that simple, but then he  looks at the planting bed and then back at you and he realises maybe it is because Jackie he’s never understood you, the work you do here, your investment in it. To you this isn’t just growing weed, it’s a live study. The type of shit you do here is publishable in scientific journals, he should know he’s read the notes you’ve left lying around.

It’s the reason you left the Bevilaqua Family, you needed something more legit so you publish your work, so that you could experiment and create something that’s going to benefit people in the future. The models you’re using here, they could be applied to third world countries if you developed them enough, they could help with farming, agriculture. The potential of what you could do it’s boundless.

And that’s the other part of Cal’s business, the part that Jackie couldn’t grasp because he was too short sighted.

Cal could patent all of that, he could make billions off the work you’re developing and that’s why he invested so much in you, why he gave you a lab, and anything else you damn wanted.

“Did you do that for me or for the weed?” He asks you because he wants to understand the trajectory of your thinking.

He admits he’s gotten a little attached to you during your time together. He’s curious to know if this was purely clinical decision on your part or something a more personal.

“Both.” You tell him, setting the shovel down before stripping off your gardening gloves and tossing them onto the work bench. “He was going to kill you, double down on the poppies. I’d rather he didn’t.”

A simple honest explanation. One that makes something spark in Cal’s chest, something he’s never felt before.

“You should come up to the house.” He tells you, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Let me reward you for… taking care of our problem.”

You smile then and it’s like seeing the sunrise for the very first time.

“Alright.” You say, picking up your keys so you can lock up the green house. “Let’s see that you have in mind.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[hotchocolatelovesyou]

A dumb analysis of OH3 well, of the chapters we have for now by a dumb person (aka me) if you might care idk

Alright. I've finished playing the available chapters for Open Heart. I'm glad I did because I've formed my own opinion. Let me know what you think because I'm curious.

Let's begin with the last sex scene.

It wasn't bad at all but I do understand why people would have found uncomfortable Ethan's proposition. Needless to say, if you don't romance Ethan and you still received such peculiar offer, I understand why you might have laughed at the screen. Pixelberry has a strong, strong, strong, strong preference for him and we all know this. They don't even try to hide it. But they probably have to contractually put every offer for diamond scene and for every LI even if you don't have a relationship with them.*** This connects to their huge preference for Ethan, since he has so much screen time, and well... basically, I'm very sorry for people that don't like dr. Ramsey because I'm sure they say no to him A LOT.

A thing that bothered me was that Ethan proposed something so intimate while still in the hospital. They could have at least went outside or in a more private area. You don't want coworkers or patients to hear this type of things. Especially since Ethan made clear many times that he doesn't mix private life with work. And he fails every time to separate the two things: Harper, MC, the shitty decision. He even made out with MC in his office and I'm sure at a certain point they'll offer a sex scene in there.

Didn't he have a dog? Did they die? Where the fuck is the dog. I ask this because if I remember correctly in the first book he said he had one but no one knows or has seen it. Was he hallucinating? What if he invented it because he was lonely?

I'm joking of course but I really wanna know where his dog is.

There are some "improvements" that I noticed.

Improvements that still need to be improved, that is.

So, they're giving more screen time to our friends. Slightly and slowly but they're doing it. It's still not enough, though.

And they're somewhat changing their personality, I kinda noticed? I'm not sure this is an improvement.

I can't represent people who have other characters as LIs (they are surely paying more attention to them so they'll be more adapt to speak about this, if they agree with me) but Jackie not saying how bad the intern was when she fucking fat-shamed a patient? Yo? Jackie what's going on?

Sienna is becoming slightly more "badass". She's always been a bad bitch, let me be clear, but she's showing her tough side a little bit more. I like it.

Keep in mind that I finished playing OH2 recently, so I still freshly remember her behaviour towards Mitch. In this book, I believe she is the one to have the least screen time of the whole gang.

Elijah is a sweetheart, really. Remember when I said that they're kinda "changing" the characters' personalities? With Elijah they're doing the opposite. They're fully going with sugar and optimism. This might be an unpopular opinion but it's like if he almost doesn't want to see that his boss might be a snake? It's okay though. Keep doing your research babes, I'll punch Bloom. And Ethan.

Bryce. The scalpel jokey has made a mistake. It's one of the few changes I like. Bryce has always been charismatic and confident but we also knew (more or less) that, even if he is obviously a pure talent, some of that confidence is a facade. I like that he, well, fucked up a little because it makes you remember that he's human. And I've always had a crush on Bryce, I mean how could you not. He will jump back on his feet, he always does.

I just wanna go back to Jackie for a moment. I know that some of you might object saying that she is taking care of her intern and being a bitch is not going to help, showing that she's human (the process that's going on with Bryce) too but idk, Jackie not calling you out on your bs? Why would she do that? And it wasn't just a small mistake, the intern already had difficulties with some medical procedures and lacked of some basic respect towards a patient. I don't know, I'm not convinced.

I honestly can't tell who has the least romantic scenes, if Jackie or Raphael.

I know Aurora's stans are laughing at me after reading this.

BUT why isn't Rafael coming to live with us? I mean, why not? What's stopping him?

I really like you Rafael.

Oh btw, if you think that the plot could have been better with Rafael's death, ding dong your opinion is wrong.

I'm happy we cyber-bullied PB about it.

I have another question: if you don't romance neither Bryce or Rafael, why couldn't they be a couple? They'd be so cute together, the Slytherin and Hufflepuff relationship we all need.

Idk, just think about it.

Aurora's stans I didn't forget about you.

How's life? How does it feel to work with your girlfriend's aunt?

This is another unpopular opinion: I don't like dr. Harper. But I'll glady marry her niece.

Who wouldn't marry Aurora, come on now

I feel bad because in the beginning I really didn't like her but now I'd beg her to step on me

Oh wait she's not our gf because PIXELBERRY IS A BITCH

Whatever, I don't care. She will be.

I'll write fanfictions about Aurora and I'll spam them to PB.

She's just so beautiful and perfect djksoso

Sorry, I got carried away.

ANYWAAAAYSSSSS, yeah I have not much to say about her. She's great. Not enough scenes like usual but yeah.

Are Kyra's stans still here?

I have no idea what's going on about Kyra because I let her travel away from that fucking hospital

So I'm not sure. If you asked her to stay, does the story change?

Oh, the thing about changing the characters' personalities obviously applies to Ethan too. To be honest, I'm not that surprised about him breaking the rules for his ideals but coherency is not his strongest suit, is it?

Book 2 was all about being cold and rational and blah blah blah. But he clearly didn't think enough about this. Oh well.

It happens, we've all been in front of a court because we might have fucked a patient's life in one way or another.

But you might have caused trouble to Elijah too man, and THAT'S where I cross the line.

Plus, dr. Harper immediately jumping to fire MC without even knowing if it was them but then admitting that if she'd known it was Ethan, she wouldn't have said shit.

I'm shaking my head. Really bitch? Whatever.

OH AND TOBIAS, RIGHT.

Tobias. I wouldn't exactly pick a diamond scene with him because it would feel like a betrayal (even if I know that other LIs wouldn't care) but I would be so tempted.

I really like him too. I hope PB won't make him a bad guy.

That's it for now. English is not my first language so I apologize for mistakes I didn't notice.

Let me know what you think because I really wanna speak about this book with someone and I hope someone feels the same lol

*** UPDATE: I'm not deleting that particular part just to help you have a better context about what I was thinking ("hey, this scene is coming, are you interested in spending diamonds for it even though it doesn't match the path you're choosing? Our company wants you to and we have to follow their rules") but after a few answers, I've been informed that THEY'RE NOT OBLIGED IN ANYWAY TO OFFER YOU PREMIUM CHOICES WITH LOVE INTERESTS YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO so yeah, just letting you know lol

[takaraphoenix]

Ofc I'm excited for the new chapter phoe, I am so starved for Jason content that even the suggestion that I'm going to get some (esp QUALITY Jason content like urs) makes me unbelievably giddy and I'm fr checking my phone to see when it's gonna be update time in ur timezone 🥺✨

Oh gosh, you're so sweet. Your messages always delight me a lot and since Jason took kind of a backseat today in favor of the build up of the secret reveal, yooou get a small, Jason-focused flash-forward into their future. ;) also because I actually have time to write again fdklghaöklh

--

Sky-blue eyes were large as they quickly flew over the words in front of him. His mouth was in a small oh-shape as he absorbed every little bit of information that was given to him. And then it just ended.

To Be Continued...

No, no, no. That couldn't possibly be! This was too exciting, it couldn't just end like that! His sister next to him made a squealing sound as she also reached the ending. She grabbed the comic book out of his hand and tried turning the page, hoping against hope there would be more.

"No, no, no," she whined frustrated and threw herself back onto the bed.

After a moment, her brother mirrored her. The two groaned and whined until their current babysitter walked in, a frown on his face. He brushed hazel-hair out of his face.

"What's gotten into you lot?"

"The comic ends, uncle Tyson! It just ends! And the next issue won't come out until next month, but it just got really, really exciting!" he heard his sister complain.

"Grace is right! This isn't fair. Cliffhangers are unlawful and inhumane!"

Tyson laughed and approached the bed to sit down between his niece and nephew. "I think I gotta talk to your parents about your definition of unlawful and inhumane, Jacky."

Jackson huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pout in place and sky-blue eyes dark like a brewing storm. When it darkened in the room and rumbling could be heard from outside, Tyson frowned concerned and cleared his throat.

"You guys do know that you could just... ask your parents, right? They were right there. They know exactly how all of this unfolded," offered Tyson.

He took the comic-book - issue 13 of The Adventures of the New Olympians - and closed it to hold up the cover, where Jason di Angelo was standing heroically in his Blue Lightning uniform, fighting a giant space-octopus. Jackson frowned and turned to look at his sister.

"I dunno", admitted Grace. "Dad is like... dad. Not Blue Lightning. Dad sings bad old boyband songs in the shower and steals daddy's blue cookies and baby-talks to Mrs. O'Leary."

"Yeah. These comics are totally fiction, uncle Tyson", agreed Jackson seriously. "Dad's a total dork, not a superhero! He isn't like daddy and papa."

Tyson huffed a little at that, fond smile on his lips. "He isn't now. But when push comes to shove, he always got our back in a fight. Because he could never bear standing aside if his family gets hurt. Go and ask him about it, mh."

"Tyson? Where are you?", called his wife from somewhere else. "Jason is here to pick up the kids!"

"Ah, your cue, pipsqueaks", Tyson grinned and ruffled both their hair.

Grace quickly grabbed her Wisdom Warrior doll, while Jackson took the comic book, both kids quickly running out the room and downstairs. Grace just lept off a few steps before the end of the stairs, jumping straight into her dad's awaiting arms. Jason was smiling softly, hugging her tightly. Her blonde curls bounced as he whirled her around once.

"Hey there, kids. Had fun with uncle Tyson and auntie Ella?"

"Ye--es", chorused Jackson and Grace.

"Thanks for watching them, guys", Jason turned to offer Tyson and Ella a small, grateful smile. "With Perce and Nico still in Canada about that... maple syrup fuled robot apocalypse... it's been kind of stressful. And then Thabi got into trouble at school and-"

"No need to explain, or to thank us", assured Tyson, patting his brother-in-law on the back. "That's what brothers are for, Jay. We got your back. Besides, we love those two."

With a last smile aimed at the couple, Jason herded the twins out of the house and toward the car. He made sure their seatbelts were fastened before he got in the driver's seat and started the car. In the rear-mirror, he could see the twins whispering with each other, but neither speaking up. He decided against asking, for now. They'd tell him whatever was on their minds when they were ready.

Once at home, both of the kids ran off to their rooms and Jason was so busy with things around the house that he nearly forgot about the kids' strange behavior. That's what they got for having a ridiculously big house and stables, but then again, they did need the grounds to allow their companions enough space to roam free. He'd just finished feeding Tempest and Blackjack when the twins suddenly stood behind him, serious, matching frowns on their faces.

"We have come to the agreement that we should ask you", declared Grace.

A nine-year-old with pigtails had no right to look this serious. Jason smiled a little at that, nodding and waiting for more.

"We know that daddy and papa are superheroes", continued Jackson as the three headed back toward the house. "But you aren't! You're just... dad. Right?"

"Ouch", Jason huffed out a little laugh. "Just dad, huh?"

"I mean, you're normal, like us", corrected Grace with a frown, motioning at the posters at the walls when they entered the living room. "You're only a hero on the big screen! Not in real life!"

The smile on Jason's lips turned more nostalgic. His dorky, dorky husbands had decided to plaster every wall that wasn't filled with family pictures with posters of his movies. Right now, Grace was motioning very decidedly at The Twelve Tasks of Hercules. Hercules was his most popular role, a fictional superhero clearly supposed to be the son of Zeus but never actually name-dropping Zeus in the movie series. Or the spin-off TV show. It had spanned a whole cinematic universe about fictional superheroes after they had introduced Theseus, a water-powered superhero who was a thinly veiled homage to Percy, in one of the movies. Theseus got his own solo-movie, then a sequel and over the years, they had established more and more heroes in this universe. Jason was so incredibly proud of it, not just because he played the hero who started it all, but because he was also creatively involved; he had pitched the character of Theseus.

Sitting down on the couch, he let his eyes wander just a little. A poster of his first big breakout role as Jace Herondale in a TV show adaptation of The Mortal Instruments... naturally, Percy had chosen the poster where Jason posed shirtless, showing off the runes.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?", asked Jason softly.

"I wanna take over granny's bakery", declared Jackson with a puffed-out chest. "I'll learn all of her recipes and become the best baker in all of New York."

"I dunno, dad. I'm nine", huffed Grace with a pointed look. "Maybe I'll become a great fashion designer like auntie Silena! Or a teacher like auntie Annabeth. Or president. Or astronaut. Oh! Or doctor."

"Okay, okay", Jason interrupted her, laughing. "But neither of you wants to become a superhero like your dads?"

The twins exchanged a silent look before shaking their heads and Jackson answered. "No. It looks scary. It looks cool to watch but I'd be super scared."

Jason nodded slowly. "But if Gracie was in danger, like really, really scary danger, what would you do?"

"I'd help her!", exclaimed Jackson immediately, grabbing his sister's hand.

The smile on Jason's lips grew some. "Being a hero is really, really scary and really, really dangerous. And I never-ever wanted to be a hero. I'm not as brave as your dads when it comes to that. But when there is something very big and dangerous that your dads can't handle on their own, I'll put my own fears aside. Because you know what is just... so much scarier than being a hero? It'd be if something happened to your dads. And I couldn't help."

He knew their kids were under no illusions; they knew Nico and Percy led dangerous lives and they knew something could happen to them. Nico had already been hospitalized for a longer period of time a few years ago.

"So when they really need me, I'll be very brave to help them."

"So... So this is really real?", asked Grace softly, holding up the comic-book.

Jason snorted a little at the extremely overdone hero-pose he was striking on the cover. "It's... more or less real. There's some... made-up stuff there, because those who write these comics, they only had the news coverage to go by, they weren't actually there when we met in private and planned and talked. But yes, that happened."

Jackson straightened up at that and took the comic from his sister to open it on the last page, putting it down on Jason's lap and very decidedly pointing at the To Be Continued in the lower corner.

"How's it end!?", asked Jackson eagerly. "We don't wanna wait!"

"Ye--es! Did you save the day? Did you rescue daddy when he got abducted by the alien octopus?", wanted Grace to know, eyes large.

Laughing to himself, Jason leaned back against the couch and opened his arms, both his kids immediately snuggling up to him and eagerly awaiting the story. Jason wasn't the greatest story-teller in the family, Piper was the author, but he did his best to actually tell the story as exciting as possible. He talked and talked for over an hour and by the end of the story, both twins were deep asleep. Asleep on him, not giving him a chance to move from the couch either. Though he was tired too, so he closed his eyes, just for a second.

"I'm de--ead", groaned Percy softly and something shifted.

Jason blinked sleepily, turning his head toward the source of the voice. His face lit up when he saw Percy snuggled up to Grace from behind. When he turned toward his other side, he saw Nico behind Jackson.

"I'm sorry we were both gone, amore", whispered Nico as he leaned over to kiss Jason sweetly. "It was an all-hands-on-deck situation..."

"You don't have to explain", Jason smiled faintly. "You're the leaders of the Olympians. They rely on you. Especially now with all the newbies, they need your guidance."

"Yeah, but we promised you we'd step back some", Percy sighed frustrated.

"You can't control when a weird Canadian wants to start the robot- apocalypse", Jason chuckled amused. "I'm proud of you both. And you have been stepping back a lot."

Percy hummed in agreement, eyes slowly closing as he rested his head on Jason's shoulder. Within moments, he was out cold. So the entire family was going to sleep on the couch today, mh?

"How did your meeting go?", asked Nico, sounding sleepy.

"Good. I mean. Really good. The studio is still so stubbornly thinking that female superheroes won't sell, but we finally pushed through. We got the Helen of Troy spin-off greenlit", replied Jason with a puffed out chest.

Nico smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "Good. I'm proud of you."

And then he yawned and snuggled closer to Jason. It filled Jason with warmth to just sit here, with his husbands and children, in their home. Safe and happy. Yes, he worried for Nico and Percy when they were out there, but he also knew that this was their dream and they loved their job. And ever since the twins had been born, the two really had stepped back, leading from the headquarters and training new heroes, only going out themselves if it was an emergency and the others needed help. Jason couldn't be mad about that, wouldn't want to be either, because he could never resent his husbands for living their dream - they had, after all, always supported Jason and his dream. Even when Jason would be in another country for months filming a movie, they never complained, they took care of the kids and were proudly at his side during the premieres.

"I love you two", whispered Jason, carefully kissing the top of Nico's head on one of his shoulders and the top of Percy's head on the other. "My heroes."

[bookwormscififan]

Silence and Chest Pains

Buy me a coffee?

Read on AO3!

A/N: Finally finished this! Yay! Here’s how Jackie became a hero.

Warnings: there is a near rape, but nothing really bad happens, so I won’t tag it.

He had always been deaf. He was born deaf, and had learned some sign from a young age.

He was also an inventor. He was always adapting things to make his silent life more practical. From text-to-speech beepers to Morse code wristbands that drummed translated code into his skin, Jackie had tried everything.

His inventions weren’t just for the benefit of himself, however. He made things to help other people, earning him the title ‘Technological Hero’ by the age of twelve. But he never saw himself as the hero. He just helped people to improve their lives.

He had gotten quite used to a life of silence, until he learned about the wonders of sound.

As he was making a delivery of an invention, Jackie found himself in the middle of a dark alleyway, relying on his eyes to know where he was. Marvin had been helping him, but when he stopped to get directions, Jackie had wandered off, getting lost.

The gloom settled in around him, shrouding him in darkness. A single lightbulb at the end of the street flickered, then burst, deepening the blackness surrounding him. A chill ran down his spine, and he silently sank into a crouch as he let his fear take over.

And then his wristband began to drum into his wrist.

.--. --- --- .-. / .-.. --- ... - / ... --- ..- .-.. Poor lost soul.

.-- .... --- / .-.. . ..-. - / -.-- --- ..- / .... . .-. . / .- .-.. .-.. / .- .-.. --- -. . ..--.. Who left you here all alone?

Jackie froze as the code tapped into his skin, and he slowly turned around in search of the source of the text. His eyes went wide as the moonlight illuminated the grinning face of a tall man towering over him. He took a shaky breath, then slowly stood up, waiting for the man to speak so he could read his lips.

“I wonder if you make any noise?” the man mused to himself, moving closer, causing Jackie to step backwards in fear. He kept moving until his back hit the wall, and he cowered under the predatory stare of the man as he moved to be as close to Jackie as possible. His breath stank, hitting Jackie’s face like a punch as he leaned forward.

Just as Jackie closed his eyes, something grabbed the man and pulled him away, leaving Jackie feeling cold and shaking in fear. The wristband on his arm tapped a command into his skin, which made him open his eyes.

.-.. . .- ...- . / -- -.-- / -... .-. --- - .... . .-. / .- .-.. --- -. . Leave my brother alone!

Standing across the alley from him, Marvin towered over the man, who was crumpled on the ground, holding his head. The magician turned to look at Jackie, running over and taking hold of his hands before beginning to sign to him.

Why did you walk off? Are you alright? Jackie read the signs, nodding slowly before raising shaking hands.

Marvin… you saved me… His brother nodded, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and leading him out of the alley. Jackie looked at his brother’s face, reading his lips as they walked away.

“That man is a creep. Next time, please don’t wander off.”

When the brothers returned home, Jackie and Marvin sat in front of the fire together, Jackie wrapped in blankets and leaning against his younger brother. Marvin was sitting deep in thought as he fiddled with a deck of magic cards. Suddenly he put the cards down, tapping Jackie’s shoulder to get his attention.

The code thing isn’t working. You need a better hearing substitute. Jackie read the signs, then raised his own to respond.

What would be better? I can’t hear anything. Hearing aids help those who can hear a little bit, and the code thing works… most of the time, he thought to himself, scratching his ear as he looked aside.

Marvin sighed, then stood up, adjusting his shirt as he looked at Jackie.

If you won’t try to adapt new substitutes, you’re going to get hurt. And I won’t always be there to save your life. Someone might get you from behind, and you won’t hear them coming. He turned to leave the room, stopping to sign one last thing.

You can’t save everyone else if you can’t hear anything. Trust me.

—

Jackie spent the following nights testing and modifying systems, creating new products to aid him in the quest for sound. He modified a digital watch to pick up police radios, pinpointing places for him to help out.

The issue he had was hearing. Nothing was helping him to hear at all, and until he found something, Marvin wouldn’t let him leave the house. Jackie sat in his room day and night, ordering and experimenting with technology, trying to develop a product to suit Marvin’s wishes.

Marvin came into his room with a pair of hearing aids, holding them out to his brother as Jackie looked up. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, then began to speak.

“Apparently these hearing aids amplify sound in a different manner to the other ones.” He shrugged as Jackie looked up at him, then continued.

“Maybe you could adapt it to help you?” His brother took the aids and inspected them, then smiled at Marvin.

Thank you.

—

The design of the hearing aids was complex, but Jackie could figure them out. They amplified outside sounds and projected them into the inner ear, moving deeper than other aids. As Jackie inspected the device, he began to think about ways to adapt them differently to the other trials.

Pulling out a notebook, Jackie began to brainstorm ideas for his next experiment.

—

It took a few days of trial and error before Jackie was confident enough to test the device. Slipping the aids into his ears, he turned on his laptop and prepared to note his findings. Taking a deep breath, he turned on the device and stood up, leaning over his desk to open the window.

His arm knocked over his glass of water, liquid splashing onto his keyboard. As the water seeped into the computer, sparks began to fly out of the device, and Jackie felt a spark go through his body.

As the shock set in, he jumped, arms knocking things off the desk. Jackie froze as he heard his laptop fall, hitting the chair before snapping as it hit the floor. The tinkling of broken glass felt like thousands of needles scratching his head. He winced as the rustling of clothes assaulted his ears, and he clapped his hands over them as he curled into a ball, the sounds of the world beginning to give him a headache.

—

Marvin raced up the stairs the second he heard thumps from Jackie’s room. Outside his brother’s room, waited until the noises stopped before slamming open the door. As he dashed inside, he immediately crouched beside his cowering sibling.

“Jackie, are you alright? Jackie!” He tapped Jackie’s shoulder, leaning back as his brother stared at him with wide eyes. He took a deep breath, calming his hammering heart, then raised his hands slowly to his ears and cleared his throat.

“Loud…” his voice was croaky, evidence that he’d never used it before, however his pronunciation was clear, proof of his years of mimicking Marvin’s speech patterns. His brother gently placed his hands over Jackie’s ears, carefully removing the hearing aids and placing them on the floor.

When Jackie was looking at him again, he began to talk.

“Are you alright now? Is there anything I can do?” His brother paused, looking to the side as he thought, then he carefully put the hearing aids back in, rolling his finger along the back of the device to turn the volume down.

Clearing his throat, Jackie looked at his brother.

“Will you… take me to… test these?”

—

The brothers wandered around the park, Marvin holding Jackie’s hand and telling him the names of the sounds he heard. Despite it being a weekend, Jackie was grateful that the park was relatively empty, as he wasn’t as overwhelmed by the noises.

Marvin sat him down under a tree, well away from other people, and leaned against his older brother. Jackie closed his eyes, bathing in the new sounds, before Marvin tapped his arm. He looked down, seeing a question in his brother’s eyes.

“How are you able to talk so well? You haven’t spoken in all the years I’ve known you.” The older sibling smiled, motioning to his eyes as he began to speak.

“I watched you talk. When you would sleep, I’d imitate everything I saw you saying. I may have been deaf, but I know how to speak.” He ruffled his brother’s hair lovingly, smile widening as the sounds of Marvin’s laughter graced his ears.

The duo sat under the tree a while longer, listening to the world pass by, until Marvin suggested looking for somewhere to eat dinner. As they stood up, Jackie removed his hearing aids and put them in his pocket, shrugging to Marvin as the younger sibling gave him a questioning look. He pointed to his head, giving a short sign that he was getting a headache.

—

As Marvin and Jackie walked down an alley on their way home, a presence made itself known with an electrical charge to Marvin’s leg, causing him to grab Jackie’s arm on his way down. Jackie looked at Marvin, then behind them to find the man from so long ago, smiling at him.

“You’ve come back. I wondered if I’d get to see you again,” Jackie read, watching the nicotine-stained lips move. The man moved closer, taser flickering in his hand, before pressing the device into Jackie’s chest, causing him to shake as electricity coursed through him.

He fell, watching as Marvin feebly reached for something to help him up.

—

Marvin stood shakily, readying his hands as he turned toward the intruder.

“Don’t touch my brother. You can hurt me, harm me, but if you touch my brother again… I’ll kill you.” The man just laughed, stepping closer before dropping his weapon as Marvin delivered a blow to his inner elbow.

—

Jackie watched, occasionally twitching, as his brother fought the intruder. He closed his eyes as a surge of heat rolled through his body, then an immense pressure built behind his ears before bursting, and he jumped as he suddenly heard the sounds of the fight.

He crawled to a stand, hand against his chest as his other hand pressed against his ear. Something in that taser had made his hearing return, and he wanted to help.

—

Marvin stared as Jackie joined the battle, dodging the attacks with a speed only achieved by… a sense of hearing. His eyes widened as he looked at the taser on the ground, and began to connect the dots.

As the man stumbled away, Marvin hooked an arm under Jackie’s own and helped him back home.

—

“That taser gave you your hearing, didn’t it?” He asked as soon as the siblings returned home. Jackie paused, turning to Marvin with wide eyes. He glanced away, rubbing his arm uncomfortably as he began to speak.

“I think so. I don’t really understand how, but I could hear things suddenly.” Marvin nodded, thinking, before he looked decidedly at Jackie.

“We’re getting a hearing test tomorrow. Keep working on the hearing device; maybe it can help in a different way.”

—

The hearing test revealed that Jackie’s hearing was about 75% of the level that the average person had. When Marvin came to pick him up, the older sibling was standing outside the clinic with his hearing aids in.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d need those,” he commented as he hugged his brother.

“I modified them last night,” Jackie replied, taking one side out and handing it to Marvin.

“Test it. I programmed it to work in higher frequency chirps and beeps, and developed my own code to interpret them. I can hear things from a distance, and figure out what’s going on if I really want to.”

Marvin smiled as the words Jackie said were translated to lines of beeps that he couldn’t understand, then moved to hand the device back.

“Keep that side. I’ve got this one, and both of them in give me a headache.”

—

Months after the hearing test, Jackie was sitting at his desk, fiddling with his digital watch. Marvin came into the room, holding a box of magic tricks, and sat on his bed.

“What are you doing, Jackie?” The elder sibling leaned back, holding the device as he rubbed his eyes.

“Developing something. I’m looking into helping people.” He held the device up toward Marvin, who watched as sever blinking lights flashed over a map of the town. He looked at his brother, whose eyes were shining.

“I’m going to be a hero.”

[we-are-inevitable]

not moving on, not looking back // ch. 9

A/N: FINALLY GOT ANOTHER CHAPTER UP AHHAHAHAAAA i hope you guys like this!!

Read On AO3!

“David! I’m getting a divorce!”

That is decidedly not what David had expected to hear at 7:45 on a Thursday morning, but at least Katherine seems happy about it. It takes a few moments for him to fully process the gravity of the situation, but David is quick to adapt, raising a brow and staring at her with a confused smile. “Uh- huh, that… Wow? Good? Oh no? How- How do I respond to that?”

“Good! It’s good!” Katherine squeals as she sits down, on top of one of the spare desks stored in David’s room. She already looks different, more carefree; she’s wearing her hair up, has on bolder makeup than usual, and is wearing a pair of fitted slacks, heels, a blush colored blouse and a blazer rather than her typical dress. “I’m checking in at the motel for a while until I can find myself somewhere to stay, but we talked it out and he agreed with me and everything is fine, so, yeah! Last night was the last time we’re ever going to sleep together, so it was a special occasion and I’m a little hungover, but don’t tell anyone,” Katherine chirps quickly, looking at David with a wide grin.

That is a lot to take in. He looks at her as he leans back against his desk, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m sorry, did you say you slept with Jack after agreeing to divorce? Like, slept in the same bed?”

“Nope. We fucked.”

“I-- Wow, okay. Kath, that’s not a mental picture I needed to see.”

“Unless you think about Jack alone, right?”

David nods before he can stop himself. As soon as he does so, his eyes widen and he immediately shakes his head, staring at Katherine as his jaw drops. “Wait, no! No, no, I don’t-- What? No, that isn’t-- I’m not-- No!”

Katherine doesn’t look convinced.

David hesitates for a moment before giving in and sighing, hiding his face in his hands. “Look, Kath, I am so sorry… It’s just- It’s a stupid little crush. Nothing substantial, and nothing happened, I promise. He doesn't even know, and--"

“Wait, you think I’m upset?” She asks with an amused tone. “David, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to us! I think you two would be really good for each other.”

“Shouldn’t you be the one to know that your husband is straight?” David asks with a raised brow, then blinks. “Unless-- No, no, I don’t want to hear any more. If something is going to happen, then I want to hear it from him first. I don’t want to speculate.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, then looks at Katherine. “What… What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that this is something I give you permission to pursue. Not that you need it, of course; you’re a grown man. You can do what you want,” She says simply, before standing and taking a few strides toward David. “But if you like Jack, then I want you to go for it. I won’t mind. I don’t know how he’ll feel, I don't know if he'll feel the same way, but… it’s worth a shot.”

David looks down at her with a hesitant look, before giving a sharp nod. “Noted. Thank you… I just-- If and only if he feels the same. I... don’t want to be a rebound? I’ve been in that situation. It’s never, ever good for my mental health.”

“Then take things slow and see where it leads," Katherine says gently, then bites her lip. "But I’ve known Jack since sophomore year, Davey, and he isn’t the kind of guy to do something like that. I promise,” She murmurs  sincerely, gently squeezing David’s shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go do some paperwork.”

David watches as she walks toward the classroom door. He thinks for just a moment, and opens his mouth before he can stop himself. “Hey, Kat?”

“Hm?”

“Stay with me until you find a place,” David says simply, looking at her with a grin. “Don’t waste your money on a motel. I have a spare bedroom you can take, so… Stay with me. It’s the least I could do, since you’ve helped me so much these last few weeks. I-- My sister is coming into town this weekend, so I’ll be sleeping on the couch, but the spare room is yours.”

Katherine considers it, then smirks. “I hope you’re ready for all night Gossip Girl marathons.”

“As long as we throw a few episodes of Glee in, I’m down.”

“Trashy reality TV?”

“A must have, obviously. Sappy romcoms?”

“I have a whole box of DVDs,” Katherine grins, then gives David a wave and walks toward the door. “I’m staying with Hannah tonight- she's a friend of mine. Works with Jack," She explains with a broad sweep of her hand. "But I’ll see you tomorrow! Get ready for some Blake Lively action!” With that, she leaves the room, giggling down the hall.

David shakes his head as she walks away, letting out a content sigh. For once, he feels... Good. Excited. He’s looking forward to Katherine staying over, for as long as she needs to, of course. It would be good. He has… a friend.

That’s the first time it really hits him that he has a friend. Katherine and Jack are his friends, his real friends, and David is so glad to have them in his life.

But he needs to check up on Jack.

That afternoon, David says goodbye to Katherine in the office before heading outside the front doors. He walks down the sidewalk for a few moments, but stops in his tracks when he sees a familiar deep blue truck in the parking lot, and hears a familiar deep voice softly singing along to an old Johnny Cash song.

David grins to himself and walks toward the truck. His smile only grows wider when Jack notices him and rolls the driver’s side window down, waving. “Davey! Hi!”

David shakes his head, hurrying toward the truck. “What are you doing here, cowboy?”

“Well, ya see, I was gonna pick up my ex, but she told me she was workin’ late while I was already here, so I decided to stay and pick up the only adult I know who doesn’t own a car,” Jack says with a smirk, hanging one arm out of the window. He’s still in his professional "I'm A College Professor, Respect Me" clothes- navy slacks, a white button up with the sleeves rolled to his forearms, and a navy vest. He seems to have already taken off his tie, but he’s wearing glasses and oh, God, David is weak at the knees.

“See, I knew not owning a car would come in handy,” David teases back, leaning up against the door of the truck. “I am the responsible and economically-friendly adult who doesn’t own a truck that emits tons of carbon emissions into the atmosphere each year that you’re talking about, right?”

“That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Get in the truck before I leave you here, dumbass.”

“Yes, sir,” David replies with a chuckle, walking around the vehicle to climb in. He sighs as he sits down and leans back, buckling up as Jack pulls out of the parking spot. “Hey, so, I... I know that the whole Katherine thing didn’t work out. How’re you holding up?”

“I think I’m doin’ good,” Jack replies with a sigh, looking straight ahead at the road in front of them. “It’s… It’s a good thing. Right? I mean, it’s an amicable split. We aren’t fighting over the house, ‘cause it belonged to my family, and we already figured out who gets to keep what last night after... yeah. Plus, this’ll be good for… me. Give me the chance to, uh, figure some things out. Self exploration, that’s what Kath said.”

That sounds promising, but David refuses to get his hopes up. “Well, if you need anything, let me know. I'm here for you, Jackie,” David offers with a soft elbow nudge, grinning. “So, the house belongs to your family?”

“Belonged. Past tense. They’re all, uh, gone.”

“Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

“No, hey, it’s chill. I kinda figured Kath would tell you about it, but I guess not,” Jack says with a shrug and a glance toward David, offering him a sad smile. “My mamá, her family owned it. They moved to America in the ‘30s. Stayed in Texas for a while, but they came up this way for work. My great grandfather worked here in Tarrytown, and actually helped build the house, plus a few others around town. There were some… family issues regarding ownership of the house, so it was sold to a different couple when I, uh… moved, but Kath and I bought it after we got out of college. It’s been renovated, but it’s a piece of history.”

“I figured that you were hispanic, but I didn’t want to assume,” David says softly. It feels really nice to learn a little bit more about Jack in such an intimate way. "That-- Sorry, I just... yeah. The house is really cool."

“Ya don't gotta be sorry for wonderin', Davey. I'm Mexican,” Jack clarifies with a grin. “If ya can’t tell by me bein’, y’know, brown. My great grandpa, Francisco- he and his wife, Dorotea, brought their three kids over. My abuela met my abuelo here in Tarrytown and had my ma. My mother’s maiden name was Maria Velásquez, but she married a guy named Daniel Kelly, so that’s where I come in,” Jack explains with a deep chuckle, shaking his head. His smile soon fades, though. “She passed when I was ten, and my dad… He’s gone. My adoptive mom lives in Connecticut now, too, so now it’s just… me.”

“Shit, Jack…” David bites his lip, looking over at him with a concerned expression. He rubs the back of his neck, gulping hard. “If it’s any consolation, I’m glad you were able to get the house. To, y’know, have something of your family. I'm sorry you had it so rough, though.”

“Thanks, Dave,” Jack says with a grin, then shrugs. “And don’t get all down on me now. It’s been eighteen years since that shit went down, so I’m good. Really,” He nods, and there are a few moments of silence that pass before Jack turns to look him in the eyes. “Hey, are you free for a little bit?”

David really should have said no. He really should have avoided being anywhere alone with Jack for a prolonged amount of time, because this was only going to end in heartbreak.

But, then again, David has been through worse.

“I’m all yours.”

[trashboatprince]

I had another idea for Tentoo and Rose, and I had to write it up.

Summery: Clearly, if you’re going to be living in a new world where you can’t just always get away with psychic paper to get into places, you’re gonna have come up with an identity for yourself.

And that includes a name.

So, Rose and the Doctor have an afternoon to kill, why not figure out what works best for the guy?

The name I give Tentoo is pretty much my headcanon name for him, do with it what you will. Also, the names suggested are mostly for fun.

On with the fic!

--

To Name a Doctor

--

A thwump sound caught the Doctor’s attention from the banana he was peeling, and his attention was drawn to the puce folder in front of him. It was still weird that puce was the color for folders rather than manilla in this universe, but it was the little things that seemed to catch his attention more than the big things.

Like how the chips here were terrible and he was working on genetically modifying a root vegetable in order to make actual, good chips.

The Doctor looked up at Rose who sat on the opposite side of the kitchen’s bar, gently pushing the folder closer to him. “Dad wanted me to give you these yesterday, but I forgot them in the car last night.”

“And they are…?” He asked, opening it up to see documents that required him to fill out information.

“Well, they’re identification papers that Dad and I wrote up yesterday over lunch. You’ve been here for over a week now and you’ve done a number of things but have not given yourself an identity here.” Rose replied and the Doctor set down his banana, giving this a little bit of thought.

Yes, in just his ten days here in Pete’s World, he’s built himself a screwdriver, bought himself some clothes, pretty much moved into Rose’s room (though he technically had his own in the Tyler estate until he and Rose found their own place), and had gotten on Jackie’s nerves at least thirty nine times. Oh, and he was able to properly identify and disarm an alien gas bomb that Torchwood had discovered through a phone call with Pete.

But Rose was right, he had yet to do anything about giving himself ‘official’ documents here. Rose had her own made forever ago, excellent fakes, no one could tell that they weren’t real, which means he’d have to get himself some too.

“Hmm… do we have anything planned today?” The brunet asked as he looked over the papers.

“Nope.” Rose spoke, popping the P. “So, wanna lie on some documents?”

The Doctor’s grin rivaled the one his girlfriend shared, and he took the pen she offered him. She got up from her seat, saying she was gonna make them some tea and he nodded, looking down at the papers in front of him.

“Alright, let’s fill out the easy stuff.” He commented, quickly writing down his weight, height, hair and eye color for IDs and ‘updated’ information, before hitting the roadblocks. “Birth date… hmmm, what do you think works best? Christmas Day, or when the meta-crisis happened?”

Rose looked over her shoulder, confused. “Christmas Day?”

“You know, when…?” The Doctor raised his right hand, wiggling his fingers.

This got a laugh out of the blonde as she put the kettle on the stove. “Oh, that’s a good one! I’d say Christmas, I mean, technically it was the day you were born, both as the hand and as the new Doctor.”

“Well, actually, I was regenerated on that day in the Game Station, and we arrived back on Earth on Christmas Eve, but still, close enough!” The part-Time Lord wrote down December 25th on the document before frowning. “Okay, parents… technically myself and Donna.”

“Then put down John Smith and Donna Noble.” Rose snickered. “Oh, I bet they’d have real laugh about that.”

“Donna might! Before she’d get angry about it. ‘Oi, spaceman! I am not gonna be your mother, even if I did help make you’!” The Doctor spoke, putting on his best impression of the fiery redhead, which sounded way too much like her, so he quickly shut his mouth. Rose burst out laughing at this and he scowled, before laughing as well. He quickly wrote down the names before pausing.

“I do have to give myself a name. John Smith won’t work. I mean, it’s worked a number of times, but some people are so suspicious of how generic it is, ya know? And I’m technically another version of the Doctor, still him, but upgrade, in a sense.” Like Hell he’d say he was downgrade.

Rose shrugged. “You could be a junior, or a second.”

The Doctor made a face. “Hmm… I dunno… maybe I could try for a new name? Something a bit different. What do you think of David?” He asked, saying the first name to come to mind.

“Hmm…” Rose thought, looking him over. “You sort of look like a David, but we’ll put that in the maybe pile. What about Matt?”

“Nah, don’t look much like that. Peter?”

“No, not that. Alec?”

“I feel like that name would make me ruder than I already am. Anthony?”

Rose snorted. “No, that’s my brother’s name! Though, if you were ginger with that name… Crowley?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Don’t think I could pull that off. Corin?”

Both paused and made faces. “No, no, terrible name, you’re right.” He shook his head. “Somehow that sounds ruder than Alec! Cassiopeia?”

“Doctor, I know I probably won’t call you these names except around people who don’t know you’re the Doctor, but there is no way in hell I’m callin’ you that.”

The Doctor looked at her funny. “What’s wrong with naming myself after a constellation?”

Rose just looked at him, raising an eyebrow, crossing her arms with an expression that basically shouted ‘are you seriously asking that question’.

“Right.” He sighed, scratching his head. “Jack?” He joked and she laughed. “Nah, good point. Oh! Wait, I’ve got one! Wilfred!”

This got Rose to raise an eyebrow. “Donna’s grandpa?”

“Yes! He’s a good man, really enjoyed his company, got to spend some time with him. Did you know he got a star named after him after he discovered it? Amazing, real proud of that man.” The Doctor smiled softly, toying with the pen in his hands. “I hope he’s doing okay.”

Rose knew there was a quiet, unspoken addition to that, but she didn’t bring it up. “Wilfred is a good name; do you want that?”

“I was thinking that’d be my middle name. I might go with John as the first, for old time’s sake, but Wilfred is the middle name. And… Noble, for the last name?”

The blonde gave this a bit of thought, tapping at her chin. “John Wilfred Noble… I like it.”

“Sounds good enough to tag on Tyler to it in the future?” The half-alien grinned and Rose walked over, giving him a little shove before a kiss on the cheek.

“John Wilfred Tyler-Noble? I think that’s an excellent name. Just don’t be writin’ that down on that paperwork! Don’t want Dad asking us a million questions!”

“Oh come on, it would be hilarious to show my ID card to your mom and watching her reaction!” He got a punch to the arm, making him wince. “Alright, alright, I’ll save that for later.”

Rose smirked and kissed his cheek again. “Right, so, for now you just leave the Tyler part off until we get that far. But this looks pretty good, now, onto figuring out your birth year.”

“Oh, that’s gonna be a challenge.”

END

--

Just something short and sweet. I’m in that group of Tentoo fans that loves the idea that he took on Wilfred’s name and Donna’s last name, especially cause I’ve been looking into the side content involving Ten and Donna and how much he seems to enjoy the Noble family (yes, that includes Sylvia, to a smaller extent, I mean, he even pretended she was his mother-in-law in an audio adventure). And yes, Wilfred does have a star named after him, its from one of the novels.

I might make this a little series of one-shots of Tentoo adapting to Pete’s World, spending time with the Tylers, and exploring this universe.

Thanks for reading! 

[teamhawkeye]

All of favourites for Brody?

thank you!

[EDIT: WOW, I CAN READ. You definitely asked for favorites and i just did a completely different section ahsdlasjd;asdas-

since i did all of Favorites here, let’s just pretend you asked for Personality, hahaha]

1. alignment

-  somewhere between Neutral Good and Chaotic Good (starts off more Neutral Good, becomes more Chaotic Good as the story progresses)

2. MBTI

-  probably INFP or ENFP, she’s an ambivert

3. tarot card

- The Fool as V, probably The Star in Atlas & Hudson’s stories

4. zodiac

- Cancer

5. enneagram

- The Helper

6. element

- Water

7. color(s) you associate with them

- purple, blue, red

8. theme song

- i genuinely don;t have one for her yet, so how about “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin to go with her nickname “Valkyrie”

9. five positive traits

- Caring, empathetic, generous, loyal, adaptable

10. five negative traits

- Reckless, holds grudges, petty, vengeful, competitive

11. what heavenly virtue would you assign them?

- Kindness

12. what deadly sin would you assign them?

-  Pride, or at the risk of sounding too FC here, Wrath in a close second, lmao

13. what is their biggest strength?

- adaptability. she can roll with a plan or improvise on the spot, is decent up close and afar in combat, is good solo or in company of others

14. what is their biggest fear?

-not being enough, not doing enough - for her loved ones or for making her mark in NC. the former is always paramount to her, her friends and family mean so much to her; the latter becomes more important the longer she spends in NC

15. what is their biggest weakness?

- her pride. she doesn’t handle defeat or failure well and takes it extremely to heart and gets easily demoralized by anything she doesn’t succeed the first time at. that won’t stop her from trying again, but it varies on how long that’ll take, depending on the size of the blow

16. do they care about their appearance? do they like it?

- yeah, to a degree. she likes how she looks and is keen to maintain her appearance, but is used to wracking up scars and lumps from her time as a Nomad and then as a Solo in NC, so any slight alteration isn’t going to upset her too much

17. are they confident in their abilities?

- yes, but she can easily be rattled and stricken with self doubt. after losing Jackie, she’s not so certain of her abilities for a time, continually pondering what she could have done differently to save him. but once she‘s able to move past that grief and guilt, she’s back to believing in herself and what she can do to protect and serve others

18. what is their opinion on cybernetics?

- she’s had  to have some since a fairly young age, so she’s not against implants or replacements. still, she doesn’t have too, too many, as she worries about cyberpsychosis and other dangers too much chrome can present

19. do they have a good sense of humor?

- very. she enjoys making jokes to help others feel better or to crack the ice. she and her brother, Hudson, have that in common

20. how do they cry?

- a bit of a silent crier out of habit, and definitely does not like to be around others to do it but can’t often help it. she often follows up a cry with a joke to try and move past it, however heavy what caused it might have been

21. how do they laugh?

- full body, shaking with the force of it. she feels things deeply, so anything to make her laugh is gonna show it - whether it’s from joy, humor, fear, or relief

22. do they smoke?

- very rarely, pre-Johnny taking up residence in her head - maybe once or twice out in the Badlands or in a bar in NC. after he’s along for the ride, she takes it up for him, since it’s something he craves

23. do they drink?

- yes, especially after coming to NC. She, Hudson, Jackie, and Atlas all spent a number of weekends bar crawling after successful gigs or just to enjoy the night life

24. what kind of drunk are they?

- depending on the mood, either a happy, fun one or a sad, somber one

25. do they take any drugs?

- yes, but nothing too hardcore. mostly smoking an occasional blunt out in the Badlands before coming to NC

[artificialqueens]

Landslide (Jan/Rock) - Aries

a/n - written for winter as part of our gc’s gift exchange! thanks as always to alex for beta-ing, and to stephanie’s child for providing a gorgeous cover of the titular song that i listened to for four hours straight while i wrote. also on ao3 here! <3

summary - jan moves across the country, and it isn’t as easy to adjust as she’d hoped. (a songfic based on landslide by fleetwood mac)

I took my love, I took it down / I climbed a mountain and I turned around / And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills / ‘Till the landslide brought me down

Jan decides to move out the summer after she turns eighteen, fresh out of high school and desperate for something, anything, better than the life she’s grown up to know. She pulls out a map of the states and a dartboard, closes her eyes and spins around a few times like a kid at a birthday party, and almost laughs herself sick when she sees fate has driven her to the opposite coast. She finds an apartment and spends a week or two sinking in the San Francisco life like the most cliche of tourists - tries all the instagram-worthy desserts, takes photos on every beach she can find, goes on sunrise hikes to the Golden Gate Bridge, and relishes in how different it is to home.

She meets Jaida one night at some club about half a mile from her apartment when it’s late and she’s too drunk to remember her name, and drags her home with her through giggles and clouds of smoke. She doesn’t think much of it when she’s gone the next morning, or when she just so happens to go to the same bar the next evening and just so happens to see Jaida waiting in the corner, drink in hand, dark eyes inviting and terrifying and beautiful and everything she needs. She doesn’t allow herself to think anything at all of it when it keeps happening; kisses are shared far more frequently than words, and she’s read enough trashy romance novels to know things like this come and go too quickly to warrant anything too domestic or comfortable. 

Despite this, she tries. She tries to make conversation through messed up white linen sheets and she tries not to be upset at the short answers she gets, if she gets them at all. She tries, above all else, to keep her head above water, because she’s learned fast that life here gets lonely, and an hour or two of feeling like she’s floating doesn’t neutralise the hurt in her stomach the morning after that weighs her down like rocks in her pockets. 

‘Don’t you want to stay?’ She asks Jaida one morning as she’s slipping on her shoes, ready to leave again. She looks back at Jan, visibly confused.

‘Jan,’ she sighs, standing up and twisting the doorknob, ‘you know that isn’t going to happen.’

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? / Can the child within my heart rise above? / Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? / Can I handle the seasons of my life?

She learns, faster than anything else, that the key to surviving when you’ve dropped yourself somewhere brand new is to pick one of two options and stick with it: you can either establish yourself as someone that sticks out of the norms, someone that grabs attention, or you can try your best to blend in and adapt, and act as if you’ve been there the whole time. She’s always been good at living life in shades of grey, fading into the background when she wants to, and she decides that now, she wants to, so she does. She gets a job working at the reception desk of an office building just far enough from her apartment for her to be able to class the walk there and back as sufficient exercise and gains friends that she has over sometimes, but not too often, and never for too long. 

She doesn’t frequent bars anymore - a girl her age moves in across the hall from her, and she doesn’t want to be the asshole that wanders in at two in the morning and wakes up her neighbours. They bump into each other in the halls, sometimes, and exchange a few words. One time, the girl - Jackie, apparently - invites her out for coffee, and she accepts. This isn’t blending in, insists the voice at the back of her head, but she’d look rude if she said no, so she allows herself this. Jackie’s from Iran, Jan learns, and she’s lived in California for the past year but only in San Francisco for a month, give or take. She works at a music store not too far from where they live, but can’t play any instruments (‘I just asked for the job, and they must have felt sorry for me!’), and her girlfriend is from Illinois but lives in LA, which is closer than they were originally but not close enough, and she’s a big fan of old TV dramas, and she talks a lot. It’s nice, Jan decides, to have to listen to a voice that isn’t her own. She thinks they’d be good friends, maybe, if they spoke more.

She falls into a routine more quickly than she’d like to admit. She wakes up at 7-ish, rolls reluctantly out of bed, fills her stomach with caffeine, and strides on into the office to greet one of the guys that works at the desk across her. He’s chipper as always, beaming through paperwork, somehow. He asks if Jan’s doing alright, she looks a bit pale, and Jan reflects his billion-dollar smile right back in his face and lies through gritted teeth. He doesn’t seem convinced, but doesn’t push. Jan clocks out that evening and walks home, averts her eyes when she passes the shitty bar she knows too well. She walks past Jackie in the hallway and smiles half-heartedly but doesn’t stop to talk, and she hates the way Jackie glances at her, eyes are full of pity as she watches her walk into her apartment.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing / ‘Cause I’ve built my life around you / But time makes you bolder / Even children get older / And I’m getting older too

Jan’s phone rings at half past six in the morning every morning for a good week before she admits defeat and picks it up. The voice on the other end is too perky, too loud, to be heard that early, but it’s as comforting as it’s been her whole life, and she’s so glad to hear it she almost bursts into tears.

‘Jaaaaaan,’ Lagoona greets her, and Jan can hear the smile in her voice, ‘where the fuck have you been? I haven’t spoken to you in weeks!’

‘Busy,’ Jan replies, tries to make herself sound as convincingly happy as she can manage. ‘I’ve had a lot to do out here.’

‘Well, clear your calendar,’ comes the reply, and Jan has to stop herself from laughing - as if she’s seen anyone, or left the house for more than an hour at a time, for the past month. ‘We’re coming to see you.’

‘ We? ’ Jan questions. ‘As in, you and-’

‘Your whole family,’ Lagoona quips, ‘and your cat. No, duh, me and Rosé.’

Their flight lands at 10:40 on Friday night, and Jan runs herself ragged trying to make herself and her apartment presentable enough for them to take her seriously. When she leaves to catch an Uber to the airport, Jackie’s walking up the stairs.

‘Hey, you,’ she smiles, waving with one arm. ‘Nice to see you.’ The ‘going out for once’ is unspoken but obviously implied, but Jan doesn’t have the energy to get offended. She smiles, waves back, shoots back a ‘You, too,’ and runs down the stairs so she doesn’t miss the car. She greets Lagoona and Rosé at their gate with a bag of donuts and laughs at their excitement, accepts their running hugs with open arms. It’s 1am by the time they’re settled into Jan’s apartment and she’s thrown together a makeshift bed on the floor out of blankets and pillows she has lying around. It feels like a sixth-grade sleepover and it’s refreshing and comforting in a way nothing has been for months. 

Their three-day stay passes faster than any of them would like, and they’re lying in the dark on their final night talking absentmindedly about everything and nothing when Rosé sighs loudly and flicks on a lamp, sitting up and turning to Jan’s bed.

‘Jan, baby, we’re really worried about you,’ she sighs, genuine concern in her eyes. ‘I know you say you have it all together here, but you don’t seem happy.’

‘Of course I’m happy,’ Jan replies, smiling. ‘You guys are here. I’m having a great time.’

‘You know what I mean.’ Rosé looks at her, and she knows there’s no point lying. ‘I know you wanted a new start and I won’t push it, but if you’re not doing well, come home. We miss you.’

They spend the Uber drive to the airport talking about things Jan can do to make the most of west coast life, and Lagoona pulls a notepad and pen out of her purse, scribbling something down when she thinks Jan’s not looking. She hands it to her before she heads through security with Rosé, squeezing Jan’s hands and pulling her in for another hug. ‘If you don’t get all of this shit done in the next month, I’m flying you back to New York myself,’ she laughs. ‘Consider it a to-do list.’ Jan watches them walk off, waves at them through tears, and pulls the piece of notebook paper out of her pocket, unfolding it. Make a damn friend!!! is the first point. She laughs to herself, shoves the list back into her coat, and makes a beeline for the Starbucks in the arrivals lounge when someone bumps into her and knocks her phone out of her hand, sending it skidding to the floor.

‘Oh, fuck, I’m really sorry,’ says the person, bending down to grab her phone. Jan looks at her and smiles, shaking her head.

‘It’s no problem, don’t worry about it,’ she replies. The stranger holds out a hand for her to shake, and she obliges, despite how foreign it feels. 

‘I’m Roxanne,’ the girl smiles, and then her face scrunches up. ‘But nobody calls me that, ever, so I don’t know why I introduced myself that way at all. Rock. I’m Rock. And you?’

‘Jan,’ she says, slightly taken aback. She shoves her hand back into her pocket, and it closes around Lagoona’s list. ‘Hey, would you wanna go get some coffee, maybe?’

Oh, take my love, take it down / Oh, climb a mountain and turn around / And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills / Well, the landslide will bring it down

Come October, Jan’s decided to scrap the routine, but there are bits she likes to keep. She calls Lagoona and Rosé every Friday night at seven, for one, and they update each other on how their weeks went. She sees Jackie every day, obviously; now they’re working at the same store, they commute together and talk a lot more. Jackie’s girlfriend’s coming to stay for a week soon, she tells Jan when they’re walking home one evening, and she thinks it’d be a good idea if they all went out to get drinks or something - or coffee, she suggests, if that’s easier. 

‘It depends when,’ Jan smiles, but nods. ‘I’d love to, but you won’t be able to get me out of the house on Friday nights.’

Rock knocks on her apartment door later that night, a bag of Chinese takeout in one hand and a Legally Blonde DVD in the other.

‘You said you didn’t know what we could do,’ she grins, ‘so I thought this was pretty reliable.’ She strides inside, throwing the food onto the kitchen counter and pulling Jan into a hug. ‘I’m proud of you, you know.’

Jan laughs, hugs her back, pushes the door closed behind her with her foot. ‘For what?’

‘Just in general,’ Rock replies. ‘I think it’s nice to hear that sometimes. You wanna watch Reese Witherspoon go to law school while we eat, or after?’

Jan smiles a lot more now. Rock says it’s one of her favourite things about her, but Jan’s convinced she’d say that about anything, providing it’d make her blush. It makes a change, though she’s not sure it’s a bad one - she’s still not wholly used to seeing herself in brighter clothes and happier expressions in mirrors, but she’ll do what she can to stand out.

[hollenka99]

While I'm writing this thing with Jackie and Anti, I can't help but think about his suicidal ideation.

Because l mean, he certainly didn't have a fun time during those 10 months. It changes him. Half the time he fakes it until he makes it. Even his friendship with Marvin and Chase is a little staged on his end at times but he's good enough at pretending that they're convinced.

Sometimes he sits on the edge of roofs. The view isn't that bad from up there, some better than others. He thinks about pushing off. Just one little push and he'd fall. It's so easy. He wouldn't have to live with the nightmares, the guilt, the knowledge he'd go back if he said it was for the others' safety.

He could do it. But he doesn't.

Jumping off a tall building won't do shit. First of all, he can't stay dead. He'd just make a mess at the bottom and traumatise the others. Not to mention the time spent recovering from all the damage it would do.

So he doesn't actively kill himself. He simply experiments with bad habits instead. He finds Chase's hidden alcohol stash and tests whether it will work on him. His metabolism may not be like what it was pre-Anti but it's still above average. He participates in a drug deal, telling himself it will help expose local dealers and prevent further business for them. He overdoses and no-one knows because they thought he stayed in his room due to a bad mental health day. He sometimes has to be made to eat and drink.

He can pretend he's on his way to recovery all he wants. That won't change the fact he is struggling to adapt. He spent more of his life with Anti than his friends. He knows how to deal with Anti for the most part. Dealing with Anti was his normality.

God forbid he admits it, let alone anyone finds out, but he'd go back. He would return to that windowless room just to know where he stood. And he knows he'd stop fighting relatively quickly. Maybe he'd resist for a week or two to save face. But Jackie knows his place. It's with Anti, waiting to be told he's a good little boy.

It almost happens. The opportunity arises but he gets denied. He finds himself on the edge of roofs again. He's so done with everything. He wishes life would let him be done.

Then he meets Gwen. Things start off slow. She's just a dog. But she's there to help him. The more they get to know each other, the better she gets at picking up his cues. She can be there for him in ways the others can't. Soon, "Gwen woke me up" is a familiar code. He loves her and doesn't know what he'd do without her now.

The past year has been one of progress for him. I haven't decided when exactly but in the autumn of 2018, his amputation requests are fulfilled.

Don't get me wrong, Jackie doesn't suddenly feel amazing just because he has legs now. There's still physical therapy, leg fittings etc. He knows he wanted this but he isn't immune from the body image issues that commonly come with losing a limb.

He gets put in a support group. There's a girl named Phoebe who's kinda cool to talk to. Her mum helps run the group and half of her left arm is prosthetic. They become friends. So he gets introduced to other members of her friendship group. They're not too hard to get along with either.

His new friends are so beneficial to his mental health. To be able to hang with people who are not only closer to him in age, but who also aren't his brothers, it's incredibly refreshing. He doesn't have to focus on Anti or the coma or how things could go sideways at any moment. He can simply share memes or make dumb jokes like 'eat the rich'. He can be Jackie the 19 Year Old around them. Jackie the Former Puppet of Anti is allowed to be left at home.

Having a healthier social life doesn't fix everything though. It helps, sure, but they can't make the memories of those 10 months or their repercussions disappear. On Saturday (2nd), it was the anniversary of Jackie's kidnapping. Although I didn't finish the fic about it, Marvin stays up with Jackie and comforts him. You refuse to go to bed so you can avoid nightmares?. Fair enough. Jackie begs him not to let him parkour this week. Marvin swears a hundred times over during the night that of course he'd help him. No parkour, no roofs, no temptation to jump. Jackie was staying right here with his family, so help him.

It may get better but it doesn't go away.

[katwritesforfun]

Jackie Bell’s Guide to Being a Hero

This is somewhat of a WIP re-introduction because my GENIUS BRAIN decided to revamp the whole thing out of the blue so just ignore the other one this is the new name.

Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult, Adventure

Current Status: Halfway Through Planning

Plot:

Step 1: Don’t be a hero.

Finding out at the ripe age of eleven that you are the protagonist in a young adult novel is damaging, to say the least. The fact it wasn't even that good just adds insult to injury. Jackie Bell has spent the last five years of her life ensuring that she won't save the world. Plans of shitty apartments, cats, and a big middle finger to the frankly lacking author that created her universe ruled her world. But she's forgotten something important.

She wasn’t the only character in that book.

An assassin, a mage, a soldier, a starlet, an oracle, and a trust-fund kid walk into a diner, looking for a hero. Jackie wishes it was the terrible joke it sounds like. Are these six beautiful, fucked-up people willing to pay her so much money to save the world going to be the one to break her pettiness? Or will her fear win out?

Because for all her jokes about tropes and the villain with the stupid name, saving the world means more than giving in. It means admitting the book was right, and she was supposed to die last year. 

Setting?

The whole story takes place in the future, in the town Glasscliff Coast. Glasscliff Coast is something of a glitzy beach town in California, famous for its red sunsets and bustling technological community. It was once thought to be the edge of the world. Due to the amount of technological development, certain criminals took advantage of that. While uptown Glasscliff is glamorous, downtown is a cesspool for illegal weapons development. This much experimental illegal shit has resulted in rupturing the reality of nearby communities, and downtown is riddled with multi-dimensional portals. Not that that’s anything new. Portals haven’t been new since before Jackie was born. 

What’s the deal with the magic?

As I mentioned before, portals aren’t anything new. Magic, it seemed, has come through the portals years and years ago, and affected more than a few people around the world. Magic is passed down autosomal recessively (is that how you say it?), so it sometimes skips a few generations. Luckily, a good number of them joined or started cults that think they’re the wizarding world or something, and enough powerful magicians joined that they do a good job of covering up and recruiting magical people. A few people did try to take over the world, but none of them had been powerful enough to succeed. This generation of mages has had a few anomalies, though, of concentrated magic. 

Characters:

I’m going to make individual posts eventually, but this is just a few quick bits. 

Jackie Bell is our reluctant protagonist, with a tragic backstory, that, in her eyes, isn’t even that tragic. She has been living in her room for the past five years and has two goals in life: to spite her creator and buy a kitten. She’s practical, adaptable, and wields a metal baseball bat.

Kara Nakamura was supposed to be the foil. A trained assassin from birth, cold and snarky. But she’s hyper-empathetic, not cold in the least bit, and Jackie likes snarky. And after Jackie gave up the prophesized heroic magic, Kara became the accidental holder of it, manifesting in her care as teleportation power. Freedom is what it meant, and if she could just thank the girl that gave it to her...

Spencer Willis is the ‘smart one’. There wasn’t much else to do after his cowardly parents abandoned him in a forgotten theater near Glasscliff. He raised himself on books and the colorful pamphlets in the dressing rooms on costume and acrobatics. But there was a reason his parents were scared, and that much power can’t hide forever.

Miguel Lopez is the knight in shining armor. Ever since he was a child, he was groomed to be Prince Charming carbon-copied from a picture book, gallant and chivalrous and smooth. Blue eyes, blonde hair, skill in magic and battle. But Jackie Bell doesn’t love him, and, horrifyingly, it seems he doesn’t love her. And even worse, he’s starting to realize he was raised in a cult.

Jade Phillips was supposed to be the heart of the group. ‘Sweetheart Starlet that moonlights as a healer for the ragtag gang’. That’s who she was in the book, but it’s becoming increasingly clear it is that it was just a part Jade played. This Jade is controlling, sickly sweet, and has an uncomfortable knowledge of human biology. And she is willing to do anything to get what she wants. 

Amelia Walker is the picture of an old oracle, with her mysterious smile and smoky magic. But she also makes a lot of dick jokes and hasn’t told a real prophecy in thirty years. She is tired of sending children into battle because of some stupid thing like fate. So she scams the cult she belongs to, she sets up a spy network, and tells destiny to suck it. She’s going to save the world. 

Ren Park is a 'bad boy’, and Jackie was supposed to fall in love with him. But he’s a grade-A douchebag with a lot of cash, using ‘rebel-without-a-cause’ to excuse his needless destruction. Someone Jackie has no time for. But his father owns a lot, and they kind of need him to chill out. And it seems nothing makes one question themselves more than saving the world from someone too familiar.

Nadia Carter is Jackie Bell’s best friend, and she wasn’t supposed to be here. With her slight obsession with boys and paint-twisted hair, she’s meant for a different sort of book, the kind with indie-rock montages and sepia tones. But, while she might not be a genius magical super-spy, she has does have a knife. Jackie is her best friend too, and Nadia will not eat alone at lunch.

--

@writeblrshowcase

[ohpenelopes]

                    i mean i could be aesthetic but instead i'm just pathetic

ALISHA BOE? No, that’s actually PENELOPE “PENNY” BROWN-PATIL from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of LAVENDER BROWN and PARVATI PATIL? Only 21 years old, this HUFFLEPUFF alumni works as a BARISTA and is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SELF-PITYING, A PERFECTIONIST, and INSECURE but also FLEXIBLE, GENTLE and IMAGINATIVE. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats. CHARACTER PARALLELS – jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ), chloe gemell ( my mad fat diary ), mini mcguinness ( skins uk ), engel beekman ( skam nl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), emaline ( everything sucks! ), gretchen wieners ( mean girls ), caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries -- earlier seasons ), kelly kapoor ( the office ) AESTHETIC – star shaped hoop earrings, drawing hearts all over your notes, needle pricked finger tips, unapologetic femininity, a loud and cheerful laugh echoing through a hallway, pinky promises, heart shaped sunglasses hiding hungover stained eyes, movie nights with popcorn and rose wine, drowning in the sea of your own thoughts HEADS UP – this intro has mentions of anxiety, but i’ve marked all of these with a trigger warning! <3

backstory ( 2008 - 2026 )

penny is born penelope lyra brown-patil --- penelope, for the woman who not only waited faithfully for her husband’s return for years, but who tricked many man in the process; lyra, for the constellation (because the stars are so wise) --- and as the second (and eventual middle) child to lavender and parvati

and she grows up happy. her childhood is peaceful and wonderful, filled with fun days and laughter. there’s not much out of the ordinary --- it’s stable and beautiful, and penny longs for those days quite a lot.

at some point, she learns of the things her parents went through at school, about war and rebellion and fear. penny admires her mothers more than anything --- she’s scared of this world, of this past, but she’s filled with admiration and a bit of fear that she won’t be able to live up to that. (she doesn’t have to, of course --- there’s no pressure or reason to, but still; she wonders about it, and she can’t shake the thought.)

anxiety tw | though life was stable and good, penny has always felt very uncertain about ... everything. insecurity has never been a stranger to her, nor has anxiety or pressure. she has high expectations of herself, expecting nothing short of the best --- and when she failed as a child (whether it was in playing quidditch on toy brooms or when drawing or when trying to sing perfectly), she would throw tantrums. she got help for this as a child after she had her first full-blown anxiety attack, but it never really faded. | end of tw

her interests as a child mostly range from princess stories to drawing elaborate things to cutting out pretty outfits from fashion magazines. she’s gentle and quiet and excitable when she wants to be, a whirlwind of pink and smiles and tangled long hair

at hogwarts, penny is sorted in hufflepuff (though the hat did consider ravenclaw) for her spirit. she doesn’t mind not being a gryffindor like her parents once were (or, at least, she doesn’t later on; at first it just seems like an affirmation that she’s not as brave as they are), likes how yellow compliments her eyes and fits in quite nicely among the puffs.

anxiety tw | teenagedom is a tough time for her. it seems like everyone is able to juggle it all, and then there’s penny: unable to keep up good grades and look pretty and have an exciting social life and have enough sleep. she feels like she’s drowning in all the expectations she has for herself, feels like she’s the only one on this world who is suffering (she’s prone to a woe is me mentality, for sure) and so hides it all behind perfectly curated smiles. her insecurity has always been strong, but it grows. she drowns them out by pretending. end of tw

in those years, she should be learning who she is, but in stead, penny learns how to be what others want. she shifts and shapes and bends herself to match others expectations --- she’s loud and funny and excitable among her peers, grinning widely and flipping her hair, appearing confident and extroverted and completely at ease. sometimes she’s quieter, a more gentle and softer being, lovely and quaint. she’s a model student (minus the amazing grades) to her teachers, a kind older housemate to the first years, a tough bitch when situations call for it. and sometimes it feels genuine, this person she’s showing off, and sometimes it all feels like a play. it depends, on her mood, on the role, on the weather, on the stars.

and you know what? it works. for most of the time. and then sometimes, it doesn’t, and there’s nothing to do but cry endless tears in her bed and be the most melodramatic person in the castle. alcohol tw | this happens when she’s drunk most of the time, to be honest --- penny is such a messy drunk. end of tw 

penny also developed a taste for fuckboys during this time. she wanted to feel loved, she wanted to be touched, to be desired, and part of her was desperate --- but that didn’t make it okay for guys to treat her that way, period. i would get into this more but i don’t feel comfy about doing that akdjssdf. 

when she turned fourteen, she got a sewing machine for her birthday. the next schoolyear, she dragged the thing behind her into the castle, unable to part from it after a summer of sewing. penny had always been interested in fashion, but now she was able to take it to the next level.

the dream to become a fashion designer grows and grows and grows, and penny is quite handy with the sewing machine, and her designs aren’t half bad, but of course it’s a stupid dream --- because penny doesn’t believe in herself, not yet at least.

post-graduation life ( 2026 - now )

penny graduated with one ambition only (see above) and no faith in herself. she became a barista, telling herself that she would work on her self esteem, that she would build herself up and become stronger and ready, that she would work on her portfolio and her design skills and that she would practice and work hard and ... that’s where she’s been for the past few years.

not much has changed, to be honest. penny still feels like that lost teenager, and in a certain sense she is --- she has just gained a slight bit of maturity, has moved out and has started working. her sense of self is still incredibly fragile, as is her self esteem, and while she’s trying to improve it, she just hasn’t found the right way to. 

she feels so stuck. she feels so frozen. she feels like she has no clue who the hell she is, and she doesn’t know what to do about changing that. another part of her doesn’t even want to be thinking about these things, and just wants to have some fun --- once penny graduated, she definitely started partying more sfksjdfhsdkjfh. party girls dont get hurt!!!!! and like, on one hand, that’s all completely fine, because this is the time for fun and self discovery, and who says you can’t do both? 

the timeclash kind of turned everything upside down. it did for everyone, i imagine, but that’s not really how penny sees it (woe is me! why does everything bad always happen to me!!). she’s so scared sakjdf. scared to see her parents and to be a Big Disappointment because she’s scared of the fact that there’s suddenly a war (like, what the fuck?), because she doesn’t want to fight, because she doesn’t even know how to fight!!! 

she’s a coward lmao, but a coward with Standards (lookin at you peter)

i mean, if it came down to it --- if she had to protect her friends or family --- she would fight, of course. she’s just not very good at combatical magic, or at strategy, or at anything war or rebellion-related, really (except for smuggling booze into hogwarts, i guess, but that’s something of the past). and that’s fine, if you ask me, but penny doesn’t think it is --- but that doesn’t mean she’s going to push herself to be braver or to do more

personality & details

jfc i rambled so much up there, time to get a bit more coherent up in this BITCH

penny is such a mess. i have a hard time talking about her sometimes because she’s so messy and because her mood and her energy fluctuate so much --- she can be high energy and extroverted one moment, and completely down and sad the other. 

did i ... project myself .... onto penny?     maybe. partly.

she’s a bit of a chameleon, really. she’s very adaptable and flexible and willing to change for the comfort of others, and she thus feels like she has a small sense of self. this is true, to a certain extent. i think she’s too focused on finding herself that she doesn’t see that she’s already found herself a little, that there are parts of her that are genuine. she’s so hard on herself, expects so much, she’s just ... completely blinded by her own doubts, tbh.

and she’s def a sad bitch and a messy bitch, but she’s so much fun. god. penny just loves laughing and being happy and doing fun and cute stuff! she likes good things! so much! she tries to be such an upbeat person and she can be and agh. i love her like that.

such a romantic. pls stop her. her idea of love makes her so blind and deaf and she always falls for dumb boys :( but skfjshdf she just loves romance! and romantic comedies! and romance novels (tho she struggles to focus on books properly, ngl) and just ... pink hearts and all that fuzzy stuff

when she got her job as a barista, all she thought was that it might just bring her the perfect coffee shop romance

she’s an idiot

she usually just goes by penny, but not because she dislikes the name penelope --- she thinks it’s a really neat name, to be honest (a bit poetic and mysterious), but penny has just been her nickname for so long that she doesn’t want to make people call her penelope. BUT she does want to be referred to as penelope when she gets famous, thank you very much.

regarding that: penny wants to be famous dskfjhdsf. a famous designer, of course --- but she just likes the idea of fame altogether as well!!! 

she takes that dream and ambition seriously, in a way. she plans to take serious steps soon (but she’s been saying that for years), always waiting until she feels ready to put herself out there. the idea of being rejected is just ... massive. the idea of not succeeding, of flopping, is so terrifying, that she prefers sticking with her dead-end job, for now. she has been sewing a lot after graduation, and i imagine she constructs a fair amount of her outfits herself (and does the same for friends), but that’s it, and she’s such a Coward about it

when she buys fashion magazines, she always gets two copies so she can use one for cutouts so she can make collages and moodboards

aEsThEtIc QuEeN!!!!

no really though, she has such a good sense for aesthetics. knows what colours and fabrics and prints mesh well together, always looks on Point, etcetera. 

idk what to say this intro is such a gd mess bc i wrote everything from scratch and i kept changing my mind about things and while penny is a Very old muse, i changed a LOT oops!!! 

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Prompt: Alternate route to the ABO thing where instead of working together, A! Ra’s killed his competition and claimed both O! Tim and O! Jay, with or without resulting pregnancies and Ra’s stealing them away while framing Roman for the crime.

I was having trouble coming up with what to do about these (especially that last one because I don’t see Ra’s agreeing to that unless he gets something big) and found my answer in combining them.

Is it maybe cheating a little because I only have a couple left and I’m losing steam, and I really miss my wips? Maybe.

Buuut you get a longer fic so yay!

This is based off the Double Omega ask/verse thing that ended up being taken to the next level by Queen_Louise.

Here are the links to the relevant posts: One, Two, Three, Four (last two are Queen_Louise’s lovely stream-of-conscious fic which is how she phrased it and Iike it)

200 Followers Celebratory Prompt-A-Thon

(Prompts are closed. Thank you to everyone sent one in! I’ll be filling them the rest of the week! And a big thank you to everyone who follows me!)

Ra’s/Tim/Jason (Alpha!Ra’s/Omega!Tim/Omega!Jason)

Words: 2340

Rating: Mature (nothing explicit just mature themes, mentioned rape, forced pregnancy, forced abortion, coerced sex)

(This is really long but I haven’t had a chance to put it on AO3 yet. I’ll add that link later)

Ra’s is grateful that Roman is so careless. It’s going tomake things so much easier when they’re finished.

He doesn’t seem concerned about leaving his seed all overthe place, he’d removed a glove earlier to feel warm flesh against his palmwhen he started slapping his omega around, and now he has that bare hand bracedagainst the wall while he knots the poor boy’s mouth.

Far too easy. With Ra’s’ own deliberate movements so that hedoesn’t perspire, keeping his gloves on, careful to keep each drop of his own cometrapped securely inside Timothy… there will be no evidence that he was everhere. Any trace left behind can easily be explained away with how often he interactswith both boys but what Roman is leaving behind will make it impossible tosuspect anyone else.

The crime lord probably figures it doesn’t much matter.Jason will remember him and what he’s done, then the ferocious omega will goafter him. Roman’s probably counting on it, with the deep, bloody bites he’sleaving all over the boy. It’s unlikely he’d be able to resist Roman’s commandsin any meaningful way.

It’s almost a shame. Black Mask is a vicious sadist but he’sclever and adaptable. Their partnership in this endeavor has been wildlysuccessful and a very smooth going for an altercation with the Bats.

But Ra’s al Ghul is going to get what he wants. Someone hasto take the fall for that.

In the end, Roman Sionis is replaceable.

He waits until they’re in thetransport, Black Mask’s helicopter hijacked by League assassins, then shoots thecrime boss with a powerful tranquilizer. He’d have preferred to kill him. Buthe’ll need to assert his dominance over Roman, in front of Jason, in order tooverpower the bites.

Ra’s sighs at the addedinconvenience. He’d miscalculated Roman’s lust for the boy. Never expected himto bother with mating bites the way Ra’s had with Timothy.

The second team calls to checkin. They’ve secured the omegas, wiped, stolen, or destroyed the securityfootage, and searched for any sign that Ra’s had been there, destroying anythingthey might have found.

He wastes no time when theyreturn to the League’s headquarters. There’s only a day or two left of theomegas’ shared heat. He fights and kills Roman in front of both boys. It waslaughably easy. The mobster wasn’t a fighter like Ra’s. Then, taking advantageof the heat haze, the wash of hormones telling an omega they want the mosteligible Alpha mate, he claims Jason too, digging his teeth in deep, past howfar Roman went. It’s the only way.

When both boys come out of theirheat, collared and leashed to his giant bed, Ra’s explains their situation tothem. The growls and threats and curses are to be expected. As is the snap ofteeth when he gets too close. But it won’t stop him. They’ll fall in line soon.

Several weeks later, Ra’s isirritated when it’s Jason who ends up with child. He knows it’s not his.

The omega spends the next monthsseverely distressed after Ra’s has the pregnancy terminated without the youngerman’s consent. Timothy’s presence seems to comfort Jason but even with Timthere, the older boy is distant and unresponsive when Ra’s breeds him.

He ends up giving Jason somespace and focusing his attention on Timothy. But he still allows the boys tospend most of their time together.

It may be that small courtesythat helps them to gradually accept their new place. It takes Jason nearly ayear to come out of the deep depression of having his pup taken. And even then,Ra’s thinks that it is largely thanks to the fact that Timothy, the one Jasonconsiders his mate, is now expecting and that has soothed away some of thepain.

Meanwhile, Batman tears apartGotham, and then the world looking for Black Mask.

Jason shifts a little to get a better position and Tim smotherssome giggles when his mate’s nose brushes lightly at his swollen belly.

“Hello little one,” Jason whispers, lips moving against thesoft green fabric of the robs Tim wears, thumb rubbing little circles nearTim’s bellybutton, “Your mommy and I very excited to meet you, Jackie.”

“Jackie?” Tim smiles down at him, running his fingersthrough Jason’s hair and appreciating how he finally looks healthy again. For along time after his—after Ra’s took his pup, Jason wouldn’t eat until Ra’sforced him (and later, when the Demon finally realized that was doing more harmthan good, not unless Tim encouraged him), wouldn’t sleep until his bodycollapsed. He’d been pale and gaunt and… sad.

But now the sun from the balcony lights up cheeks full ofcolor and Tim can see his mate in those turquoise eyes again instead of theemptiness that had been there for so long.

“I don’t know. Could be a cuted up nickname for Jack or shortfor Jacqueline or even just be Jackie.”

“Jack? Like my dad?”

Jason pauses, fingers twisting the fabric and letting goseveral times. “He tried to stop you from being Robin. If he’d succeeded youprobably wouldn’t be here. Seems like an ok guy.”

“He was,” Tim hums, tightening the arm he has draped overJason’s waist and twirling his black curls between his fingers, “I like it,Jay. It’s sweet.”

Jason sighs sadly. “It doesn’t matter,” he nuzzles his faceinto Tim’s belly, “Ra’s will call it whatever he wants.”

They sit in silence for a moment and Tim can’t help butglance toward the door. It’s locked from the outside. Their suite of rooms isexpansive and luxurious and Ra’s allows them to stay together. But there areonly two doors to stronghold beyond and they’re both well guarded, only openedon Ra’s’ orders.

“Jason?”

“Hm?”

Tim tugs on his hair gently and he comes up easily, carefulto keep his hand on Tim’s stomach.

When Jason is looking at him Tim moves his hand from hishair to cup his face.

“This is our baby.Whatever else has happened or will happen, youare my mate. And I’m yours.”

He wants to add that any children they have are theirs. But he’s hesitant to remind Jason that he’llbe expected to breed. Ra’s has already been making prodding comments aboutwhether Tim thinks he’s ready. He doesn’t expect the older man will wait muchlonger. Especially as Tim gets further along and Ra’s will undoubtedly wish tosee his other omega heavy with the evidence of his Alpha virility.

Jason gives him a small smile and rests his head on Tim’sshoulder.

“It’s thoughtful of you to try to protect me,” he says,breath puffing against Tim’s chin, “But I know it’s just a matter of time.”

Another short silence as they just sit, quietly takingcomfort in each other. Then Jason speaks again.

“And I know they’ll be our kids, Tim. But they will also behis. And we’re not in Gotham. We’re not in the manor. This is the League ofAssassins. We won’t get much say in anything. We won’t get to name them. We won’tget to argue over how best to raise them because we won’t be given a choice.They’re going to be raised like Damian. They won’t get childhoods. They’ll bemolded into weapons.”

Tim swallows. He knows this. He’s been thinking about it alot. He’s come up with the best plan he can think of. Even if he hasn’tcompletely given up hope that Bruce will save them or that Ra’s will let hisguard down.

He’s wanted to talk to Jason about it, he deserves to know,to have a say. But again, Tim’s been reluctant to broach the subject with thestate he’s been in.

Well. Jason brought it up.

“Now that you mention it,” he begins carefully, “I’ve had anidea that might get us some more control over that. But, in the incrediblyunlikely event that Ra’s accepts… it’s still going to be a very big sacrificefrom us.”

Jason blinks at him for a moment. Then they both start whenthey feel the baby kick.

“Tell me.”

Ra’s narrows his eyes.

They are being unusually subservient. Both boys are on theirknees, gaze downcast in deference.

It’s a beautiful picture, especially since getting them tosubmit is still such a chore. His cock stirs but he doesn’t trust it for amoment.

“What is this?”

“A small preview of what we’re offering,” Timothy says,voice steady but pleasantly obsequious.

“Which is what, precisely?”

“For starters, we won’t fight you anymore, we’ll give youwhat you want,” Jason’s voice is less sure but Ra’s is a little surprised toeven hear it at all. This is first time the older omega has spoken to him sincehe had Roman’s child aborted.  

“We’d like to make an arrangement,” Timothy finishes for hismate when Jason doesn’t continue. The sight of the boy kneeling, not meetinghis eyes, belly swollen with his progeny, makes him want to throw them both onthe bed and put a child in Jason as well. The idea of them carrying at the sametime, willingly and eagerly giving into his whims… at the moment, it’s his mostfervent desire.

“What kind of arrangement?”

They look at each other out of the corners of their eyes.Jason gives Timothy the tiniest of nods.

“We don’t want our children raised like Damian—“

“My children,” Ra’scorrects. They better come to understand this simple truth very quickly.

His statement earns him twin scowls of anger and their eyesflicker up to his and stay there.

“That’s the deal we’re asking for,” Tim says, much lessservile this time, and Ra’s thinks it’s a small reminder that they’re actingagainst their instincts and their own wants to bring this to him. The least hecan do is listen. “That they’d be our children,all three of ours. We’d like to work out a balance between League training andletting them have childhoods.”

“Out of the question,” he’s disappointed in Timothy. The boyshould know him better than this, be smarter than this. “My heir needs—“

“That’s the other part,” Jason interrupts quietly, eyesdropping again now that the attention is on him. Ra’s likes this meek look on biggeromega. “The kids get to choose for themselves, when they’re old enough, whetherthey want to stay with the League or make their own way. When one chooses tostay, the Lazarus Pits will give them all the time they need to learn what youwould need them to learn, so there’s no need to make it their entire life from thejump. And we’d… we would…”

He falters again. Closes his eyes and takes a deep breathbut stays silent.

“We’d stay with you,” Tim all but whispers, “For as long asit takes for one of our children toagree to inherit your empire.”

Ra’s’ brows shoot up. He was certainly not expecting anoffer like this.

“You would subject yourselves to this? You would willingly enterthe Pit? Allow it to wash away age and illness to stay by my side until theterms are met?”

“Yes,” both boys mutter together.

“And if you’re allowed to have such an active role in theirupbringing, you would undoubtedly encourage them to pursue alternate paths?”

They glance at each other again. “We… will try not toinfluence their decisions,” Timothy answers.

“Unless you do,” Jason adds, voice thick with conviction,“If you’re whispering in their ears then we will too.”

They’re thinking about their future children, notthemselves, like all good omegas. That’s why they misunderstand.

He won’t mind if they try to nudge his offspring away frombecoming his successor. A willing pupil is better than one forced after all andthey’re correct about the Pits.

So they misjudge his motivation for asking. He he can waitfor one of his future sons to agree. He’s in no hurry if they’re willing to sitat his feet, warm his bed, and bare his children. If these two beautiful prizesof omegas bow to his will and do his bidding, obey and serve as they were meantto, through possible centuries…

Ra’s closes the small distance between them, runs hisfingers through Timothy’s hair before gently grasping Jason’s chin and tiltinghis face up.

He gives the boy a pleased hum when he keeps his gaze on thefloor.

“Accepted,” he rumbles in that low Alpha register, makingboth boys shudder, “We can work out some details in the morning.”

He runs his thumb over Jason’s bottom lip. He can feel Timothy’seyes on them, watching closely, untrusting and protective.

“In the meantime,” he pushes the digit into the omega’smouth and smirks when he meets no resistance. Even if Jason’s eyes havesqueezed shut and his breath has quickened, he seems determined to hold up thesubmissive part of the deal. “I believe it’s past time you resume your longneglected omega duties.”

Jason’s chest heaves up and down even more rapidly as Ra’smoves his hand from the boy’s mouth to his hair, grip firm but not unkind. Theboy’s eyes remain shut tight.

Ra’s waits patiently for him to gather himself, certain theomega knows, and will give him, what he wants.

Finally Jason’s lids flutter open. He stares resolutely atthe floor and wets his lips.

“Yes, Alpha,” he whispers, almost inaudibly.

He glances back to Timothy in time to catch him sigh in whatseems like defeat but this is their deal and Ra’s has accepted it withoutalteration.

“Go sit at the head of the bed, Timothy,” Ra’s orders, “You’llwatch while you wait your turn.”

The boy swallows hard under Ra’s’ piercing stare and Jason stiffensunder his hand.

“Yes, Alpha,” Tim mumbles and moves to obey.

[rowancrowe-blog]

[rolls out from the trash] hey :) so this past couple of weeks were a roller coaster, and i see i missed a lot. but i’m back and i finally have a plot page, so if anyone is interested i have some ideas down the cut for both my girls!   [if you like any of the ideas/have a similar one/have a plot you’d like to do and think either rowan or willow can fit it, feel free to like this and i’ll be on your IM’s :) ]

FOR WILLOW 

NEW POETRY-- “you might be the death of me. suffocating, please let me breathe. kiss, kiss. lights out. i’ve got to. we’ve got to.”  (OPEN TO 1)

-Willow and MUSE hate each other’s guts. However, it seems that whenever things get heated between each other, they get seriously heated. The only time they ever agree with each other is when they’re tearing each other’s clothes off. aka hateship.

AUF ACHSE-- “you see her, you can’t touch her. you hear her, you can’t hold her. you want her, you can’t have her. you want to, she won’t let you. she’s not so special, look what you’ve done.” (OPEN TO 1) 

-For some reason Willow has found an interest in this person. Her true intentions are unclear even for her, but she seems to linger around wherever MUSE is. MUSE thinks Willow only wants to get then in bed, and she lets them think so. aka unrequited crush. (TAKEN BY JACKIE SAMPSON)  Alternate:  -MUSE has an interest in Willow, and she founds that funny. Often teasing them about it. She might give in or not, only time can tell.  aka Willow is trash. 

-church acquintances. (open to everyone forever) they hate her. they are afraid of her. they feel uncomfortable around her. they think she lost her way and they want to help her see the light. anything, tbh just give me these connections. 

-neighbors. (open to everyone in peregrinis forever) “TURN YOUR FUCKIGN MUSIC DOWN WARREN. !!1!1!!!11!”  So Willow absolutely pays no thought on how thin the walls can be, so she has her music turned up 24/7. That’s only bound to annoy people. Unless someone actually thinks she had nice taste lmao (Taken by Carmen de la Cruz.) 

-other students that major in business or anything related to that. (Open to multiple) maybe they teamed up a couple of times. either things went good or bad. (spoiler alert: underneath all that trash, willow is lowkey a nerd) (Taken by Park ‘Dani’ Dan Hee)

-trash friends. people wonder how they can even function. they probably would sell each other for a corn dog. (plot twist: they’re actually ride or die.) (open to 1 or 2) 

-actual trash friend. there really isn’t a friendship. it’s more fake than anything. who’s gonna sell out the other first? (open to many)

-soft friend. this person is so different to willow. the kind of person she’d just love to toy around with. however, she ends up toning herself down when she’s around this person. probably would fight someone if anyone does anything to this person. (open to 1) 

FOR ROWAN

NEVER SAY NEVER-- “i might like you better if we slept together.” (OPEN TO 1) 

While her personality and interests stay the same, Rowan usually adapts to other people. However, she simply can’t get well with MUSE. There’s just something about them, and MUSE doesn’t make it any easier as they don’t seem to get Rowan either. They don’t hate each other but their conversations always end up in bickering. Maybe there is one way to solve that tension. 

IS THIS LOVE-- “you're hiding under other people's skin, but it's way too thin.“ (OPEN TO 2)

Someone who sees right through Rowan. Either because they are the same way-- Just putting on a mask to go through life. Or maybe because they knew someone like that. Maybe they were like that. In the end, they just want to help her, or at least be a comforting shoulder. Alternate: Rowan knows what its like, to put on a smile when you feel all lost in the world. Maybe she’s a hypocrite for trying to help, maybe she’s not. All she knows, is how awful it can be-- And wouldn’t wish the same on anyone else. 

CHLORINE-- “i’m so sorry i forgot you. let me catch you up to speed.” (OPEN TO 1)

Despite having friends, Rowan isn’t really good at keeping them. Some of her friends are used to her simply dropping off the face of the Earth only to come back as if nothing has happened. But MUSE didn’t take it lightly-- They felt betrayed or hurt by her suddenly stopping talking to them. Rowan feels guilty about this and wants to fix it, the question is how? (Could be platonic or romantic) 

-ex. Bonus: also connected to Tatiana. If anyone is interested in this, we can definitely plan out more. But basically, they were dating and MUSE cheated on Rowan with Tatiana. (the reasons behind it, or how it happened are utp) (OPEN TO 1)

-other architecture majors!!

-people that thinks she had it out for tatiana: (open to multiple) and she lets them think so. probably doesn’t help her own case. at all. (Taken by Jackie Sampson)

-polar opposites. who knows how they started as friends? MUSE is bubbly or outgoing, or just everything Rowan isn’t. Somehow, they aren’t shyed away by Rowan’s apparent indifference, and Rowan simply rolls with whatever crazy thing MUSE says or does. (Taken by Logan Myoui, Sonny Thompson and  Mina Bae)

[lachalaine]

HC Requests // set 1

requested by the best girl @takusanno

What routines does she have in her life?

she wouldn’t have too many, i don’t think. her schedule isn’t necessarily what one might call stable as a whole, so she generally tends to just run around and go with the flow on most days, does things depending on what might need her immediate attention at any particular time. her only real routines would be the habits involved with her career, i believe, since that’s one of the main things she keeps at high priority. 

such as how she prepares for her gigs - jackie actually makes it a very huge point not to listen to her own music before events, usually because she worries it’ll all run into a huge block in her mind where she won’t be able to distinguish the differences in beats for when she’s finally on stage. she’ll craft up the whole playlist the night before and run through it once, but then after that, she has to listen to other genre’s of music through the rest of the night and even through the next day, generally blasting them on high volume up until the last minute that she has to go on; if only to ensure that her mind is fully refreshed. that way when she finally gets behind the booth, the rhythm will come across her to her much like she was hearing it for the first time all over again. the beats would come to her naturally, rather then practiced. 

it’s a little trick that tends to go a long way with making sure that she has a better grasp on controlling the energy levels of the event as well. 

one other smaller routine that is fairly prominent ( although rather infrequent ) would be her inclination to disappear completely for a few days after a sequence of music festivals, practically dropping off the map with no warning, only to be found relaxing in a wayward beach town for at least a whole week. this one caused quite a bit panic among her peers for a few days; before people finally realized where she’d went, at least. 

now people just shrug and expect her to pop out like a mushroom when she’s ready to come back. 

What does she value the most in other people? 

more then anything, she tends to value people’s efforts and honesty, especially when it comes to those she gets close to. effort on its own means a lot to her, because the mere fact that someone would go out of their way to actively do something with her in mind even when they didn’t have to is already more important then she can say. it doesn’t matter if its small or big - just having that sense of thoughtfulness to their actions - to think about something beyond their own needs is a huge deal and she tends to appreciate it the most. 

if she acts a bit too sappy over even the smallest of things, its merely because it’s not something she’d experienced for a long while there, and she’s still acclimating to having that type of kindness in her life once more. 

the honesty part, on the other hand, she can turn a blind eye to often enough; because she knows, she knows, she knows that such an aspect doesn’t come easy ( she would be a hypocrite if she were to expect it of anyone, considering her own reservations ); so she wouldn’t hold it against someone if they couldn’t tell her the truth of things if she were to ask. she would adapt. she would accept. she would understand. because she knows that’s what she would want if the situation were to be reversed. 

perhaps it only ever becomes severely important to her when hiding the truth runs at the risk of hurting the ones she cares most about. she wouldn’t care if it hurt herself, actually, but if it’s leading the person hiding the truth down a bad path that carries only pain, she would wish to spare them from that. she needs to know, she needs them to be blunt, she needs them to tell her the truth - if only so she can try to stop the potential of a bad ending; no matter what it takes. 

What does she see/not see in herself?

more then anything, i believe she sees herself as dangerous, really. in the sense that she is a ticking time bomb, a broken shard of glass, or even just straight up poison. a damaged piece, so to speak, that’s still capable of so much hurt and pain if she isn’t careful, and yet one that’s just barely holding herself together as it is. as she knows it, on top of being barely stable, she feels as though there are still so many parts of herself that are missing to the entirety of her being, that what little she has left to her is being clutched so tightly because she fears losing it again, which is what mainly causes her to push people away. by pushing people away, she mitigates the potential damage she can cause - both to them, and to herself. 

on the same token as well, however, she also sees herself as almost fake. in the sense that where other people see her on the surface to be bright and effervescent and happy, she fears that it’s all merely a facade meant to hide the darkest parts that she’s taken great pains to hide. she has a severe sense of impostor syndrome, constantly worrying that she’s manipulating people to come to know her as someone different; someone that’s normal, someone that’s fun, someone that’s more or less innocent and could never be capable of the things she’s done. and yet she knowingly portrays herself to be that way, to have that certain mask, because she fears if it were to be uncovered - she would lose everything. 

she can’t stand to be looked at like a monster by the people she cares about, even when she knows that’s the part that’s lingering quietly inside her. nonetheless, she wouldn’t be able to take it. 

( in that same breath though, that means she knows she’ll never be able to fully trust her whole being to anyone unless they knew of her past, until they themselves had acknowledged it, because she knows that unless they’d understood it completely - she’d be selling them a lie, and she can’t trust a relationship that’s built like that. she has to tell them, and she has to be ready for heartbreak if she does. because at the end of the day, she’s a liar, was a murderer, was a thief, and she would still deserve all of the consequences should they fall.

she knows she would deserve all of it. ) 

on a much lighter note, however - despite the wreckage that’d come of her past relationship, perhaps there does come for herself a silver lining. for even in the depths of her heartache, jackie’s seen herself as a woman who’s grown from her struggles and is quietly handling it the best that she can, even with all the shitty cards that’s been dealt against all her best intentions otherwise. though that might mean she has to go it alone, though that might mean she’s not the easiest to get close to - she still sees herself as capable, of healing - or at least forgetting - and then growing. doing better. being smarter. respecting herself far more then she did back then. what she’d learned from that relationship were lessons she doesn’t think she’d ever have learned otherwise, and she knows she’s strong, and independent, and she sees that for herself as her own victory --- even if its just for herself. 

it’s something she can’t deny, even at her worst, and something she absolutely respects. 

yet if we’re talking what she doesn’t see in herself though - it’s more or less that a large part of what she worries about isn’t real. she’s not faking her personality, and she’s not as much of a monster as she thinks she is. that person that she fears is a lie is actually her true self, and its stronger and more steady in its foundation then she might think, then whatever it is that her demons might tell her. she’s capable of so much good, and also so much bad - but such results come of her own choices, and often enough, she will generally tend to make the right one, even without actual thought. she’s a better person then she thinks she is, and it might not be enough to erase her past, no, but it is something. 

something that can be impacted only by her own choice, more then a result of anyone else’s.

[justfcrkicks]

Did you see STEVEN HYDE from THAT 70'S SHOW walking around Limbo? The CISMALE looks like JEREMY ALLEN WHITE, and is NINETEEN years old. I’ve heard he can be WITTY but also INSENSITIVE. He’s been here WITH his memories as a STUDENT at UNLV & MANAGER at AU COMICS for EIGHT MONTHS. I heard he's seeking a sanctum.

For those of you who don’t know Steven Hyde, he’s a rebel. He hates the system, he hates the man, he hates rules, and he hates ABBA. He loves rock & roll, sex, beer, weed, and rock & roll. And weed. He’s also kind of a dick. But he’s got a good heart. He comes from a broken home, but his best friend Eric’s parents always looked out for him, and he eventually lived there and kinda became their de facto foster son.

Steven is set right at the end of S7, after he walks in on Jackie and Kelso in the hotel room and takes off for Vegas. Rather than getting drunk, marrying a stripper, and going back to Wisconsin... He gets drunk, stumbles in to Limbo, passes out on a park bench, and wakes up right where he was, except it’s 40 years later.

For a while he was distraught and tried to figure out a way back, but he stopped worrying about it eventually. Instead, he found a job, enrolled at UNLV (”’cause that’s where all the chicks are at, man”), and began to adapt to the modern world around him.

He’s a big fan of Nevada’s weed legalization. He won’t admit it, but he’s also fond of the convenience of downloading and streaming music, even if he prefers the sound quality of vinyl. Hates the fact that he can’t buy booze anymore though, since the age limit was raised.

Hyde was vehemently against the idea of enjoying any music besides rock and roll at first, but really started to appreciate the ‘fuck the system’ attitude to gangsta rap. He’d rather walk into oncoming traffic than listen to trap, mumble rap, pop, or k-pop though.

Works at AU Comics. Not because he cares about comics at all, but because it was the only place that didn’t drug test him or reprimand him when he lit up in the break room.

Pretends he’s okay but he honestly really misses his friends. Even Kelso. Even though he’d probably punch Kelso in the face if he saw him again.

Steven is also very disappointed that there’s no cars that run on water.