#and half of them were left :|
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wandering out 2 get a donut and i see my roommate has thrown them away........... why must i suffer in this way
#ooc#moopisms#like they might have been stale already but they were only 3/4 days old :|#and half of them were left :|#he's a good roommate generally speaking but. god i cannot WAIT to live alone jfc GHEKFWJ
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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My headcanon for Marius is that he is a bad psychologist normally but very rarely he will pull out this god tier analysis of someone from not even five minutes of talking. He can tell you about things youve completely blocked out from memory and when you ask him about it he'll say some shit like "The way you blinked" with no other explanation
#(meets someone for the first time ever) yeah they have deep seated issues with self esteem because an older second cousin bullied them#heavily for about 7 and a half years when families met up. it happened a lot when they were playing mario kart.#i know this because they breathe by pushing out the left lung more“#though most of the time hes trying to interrogate why a stool would attack him (he stubbed his toe)#marius von raum#the mechanisms
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oh fuck merlin following after arthur for five seasons, at his heel following him into every battle, every fight, every quest without regard for his own safety. arthur dying on the shore of that damn lake and merlin dying with him but his body remains. arthur goes to avalon and merlin is forced to stay on earth. merlin can’t follow arthur this time. this is one journey merlin and arthur can’t take together. two halves split and kept apart for over fifteen hundred years. goddamn it. these fucking assholes never fail to make me cry. i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them
#merlin screaming at the lake - screaming at arthur - at how he left him. he left merlin all alone.#merlin is alone and arthur is with all their friends in avalon#gwen tryibg to console merlin over arthurs death by saying that they’ll all be reunited in the otherworld#and that may be true for her and the knights of the round table#but not merlin#merlin will roam the earth for centuries ALONE#its one of the cruelest jokes of the gods#making two people soulmates. theyre each others other half. they are destined to meet and become a legend#they only get ten years together#arthur is taken from merlin. they take his other half. and instead of roaming for forty years in grief and sorrow#they doom him to roam for eternity. soulmates. one who died too young and one who will never meet his end.#soulmates who were destined to meet but never destibed to stay together#FUCK THEM#I HATE THEM#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#angst#its an angst kinda night#i hate them so much#imagine meeting ur literal soulmate. ur other half. half of your soul. and holding them as they die. and end up being immortal.#i would fight god#wtf do you mean by that#nahh nah nah cmere and catch these immortal hands#what are u gonna do? kill me??
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Rewatched The Mighty Ducks trilogy. Have some shitty memes.
#the mighty ducks#adam banks#jesse hall#charlie conway#fulton reed#guy germaine#gordon bombay#these are shit but I had fun#my personal faves are the b99 and spiderman jesse ones. the guy one and the quack quack quack one#also love that I made 4 about charlie with 3 of them being the same template and all 4 being about the same movie#I literally spent the last half hour of D3 repeating “I love these kids. These absolute dweebs.” and crying.#I like to believe after Portman came back he heard about what happened after Adam joined Varsity and made everyone apologize to him#and then went to beat up varsity cause they were dicks to everyone INCLUDING ADAM#can you guys tell I want jesse back and the ducks to apologize to adam?#love that charlie left and immediately decided that he and fulton would just move to canada at 17. my absolute faves#re-read my way through most banksway fics on ao3 so if anyone writes more that'd be great. I don't know enough about hockey or america
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FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#“my monthly webkinz” god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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I got whiplash from going to jump in my seat because of ineffable bureocracy to then feel the five stages of grief because of the ineffable husbands
#more like four causes i for sure did not accept that finale#HOW COULD THEY?#i was so happy and then i saw there was half episode left#and like a fool#A FOOL I SAY#i thought they were going to do something nice amd dished out for them#i was HOPING#then i heard the conversation end between aziraphale and metraton#and the horror grabbed me#good omens 2#good omens#good omens spoilers#ineffable beurocracy#ineffable bureaucracy#ineffable husbands#crowly x aziraphale#aziraphale#crowley#screaming and sobbing
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Fic-to-Art #39: Gladiator's ELEVENTH Anniversary! (+ BONUS: Fic-to-Art #36...)
And here we are! March 26th arrived and I did not forget about it, but I paid for my ambitious madness with my wrist and forearm. Somehow, I finished my intended pieces on time, but I do not advise that you ever try to make 9 artworks in 3 days. No, sir. Bad life decisions, that's what that was... but this fic, as anyone knows, moves me to do things I never thought possible, starting with writing the fic itself!
It's really crazy every time it hits me that I've been doing this for as long as I have. It's been a complicated, chaotic journey, with its many ups and downs, but ultimately, it has been our journey. For some people, this is just one more fic in the pile: for me, it's been the best adventure of my life so far. Everyone who has ever been touched by Gladiator, who has ever cherished this story, who's looking forward to the big conclusion, who wants to see how the chaotic war is going to end... you're all part of this crazy adventure along with me, and I can only thank you for joining me.
This year, I had no time to make as big a project as I usually go for. Thus, I did a sort of free-for-all edition of Fic-to-Art over at Patreon and challenged myself to draw as many scenes as I could, out of their suggestions. I even sprinkled in a few scenes I impulsively wanted to draw because I loved writing them or because I look forward to writing them... and this is the result!
In order, the scenes are as follow:
Sokka combing Azula's hair, a common occurrence throughout the story.
Azula watching over a convalescing Sokka in the Chase of Jeong Jeong arc.
The outcome of Sokka's final battle in the Superior Gladiator League, namely a moment where Sokka and Azula more or less gave away their relationship's true nature to the public by raising their hands towards each other...
And now, spoiler territory! Some were by my choice, some by Patreon requests:
An important moment shortly after Sokka and Azula reunite.
Azula confronting her father, with a LOT of backup.
Xin Long's long-awaited freedom.
The aftermath of the final battle.
The full-blown confirmation of their relationship to the general Fire Nation populace.
Sokka, Azula and Hotaru's first night together
And the big final one is ACTUALLY Fic-to-Art #36 but hahaha woops I didn't post it here on time because it was super hard to finish since I had a LOT of things going on... but here it is now! :'D it's a glimpse VERY far into the future of this fic's timeline!
Alright, that should be enough talking and explaining. Some things are vague, some things aren't, but ultimately I really hope you guys will be looking forward to the scenes you haven't seen yet, and to Gladiator's eventual outcome.
So now... with all this being said and done, I'm gonna go take a trip down memory lane and watch my Tenth Anniversary video once more! Feel free to do the same thing if you'd like to commemorate the fic, I think it's a good way to experience Gladiator all over again, hahaha.
Thank you if you read all this, and if you read all THAT: 5 million word landmark, here we come! Thanks for hanging out with me across ELEVEN years of Gladiator!
#sokkla#sokka#azula#gladiator#fic-to-art project#zuko#aang#katara#rui shi#fei li#tai wei#and a rando#yes that guy is a rando he's there to symbolize all the randos in that scene#do not look too deep into it it isn't deep at all hahahahahaha#Xin Long continues to be the bane of my existence I love him I hate drawing him#I don't know if he's good enough but I hope the emotional punch of THAT MOMENT#is enough to make up for any flaws ahahahaha welp#... also yes I'm not even sorry this was my excuse to go wild drawing as much Sokkla as I could#and my patrons were so damn nice to give me so many excuses to do just that!#how could I refuse? :'D#anyway I really hope you guys enjoy#the new pieces are glazed#nightshade killed itself when I asked it to work with them#I got annoyed and left it as it was#the last one did get both things#OKAY! DONE!#I HAVE AN HOUR AND A HALF LEFT OF ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION IN THIS TIMEZONE#Seyary out (?)
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always an angel, never a god | the treatment of girls and women on teen wolf
#twedit#twvid#twladies#ok hiiii i made a gifset version of this a while back but i think a video captured my Vibes better. so. i made one<3#also i didnt have enough space to include the older adults and now i do<3#i tried to include All of them but. i remembered the cop in pressure test when i was done. and honestly i feel ok with her missing<3#wouldve left kate out bc shes my enemy but that was bothering me too much so she made it like ive done enough!#theres no significance to the order in the second half other than i tried to include more major characters in the lyrics section#and i tried to have them fit the lyrics too obv#the first half though i ordered them in how doomed i Personally think they were
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Wait if all the journal 3 pages were restored after Weirdmageddon why does Bill’s book insist there were still missing pages that just conveniently happened to pertain to his incredibly sad backstory and concepts brought up earlier in that same book
#going off of memory here for that first bit but iirc the journal gets chucked into the bottomless pit alongside the other two#with all of their pages still intact#right?#so then why would bill have more pages if there shouldn’t be any more?#gf#screw it this goes in the general tags too#gravity falls#the book of bill#ANSWER ME YOU FUCKASS TRIANGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO if the answer is supposed to be “ford tore them out of the journal out of shame” wouldn’t it make more sense to leave them in as a-#cautionary tale? he already left the “my muse” pages in why should these be any different? to protect his identity? fiddleford’s?#the last half of journal 3 throws all anonymity out of the window too#so then if he didn’t tear the pages out himself… why would bill have them? HOW would he have them; he’s stuck in the theraprism!#did he stow them away somewhere? nope; he burnt the journals and then got punched into oblivion. could one have popped up at the theraprism#nope; specifies its journal 3 lost pages! how could he have gotten journal 3?#okay so the pages are fake. what about the events that happened on them?#look into my eyes and tell me you really believe fiddleford won against the krampus. the guy who built a mind eraser gun after getting-#snatched by a different monster.#sure SOME events could have happened— who’s to say they didn’t? but when you take into account everything else about the pages and the book#how believable is it really?#how believable is anything he says for that matter? how much are truths? half truths? lies on paper but truths from a different angle?#“LIE UNTIL WHAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE BECOMES TRUE.”#“LIE UNTIL YOU CANT REMEMBER WHATS A LIE AND WHAT ISNT.”#“LIE UNTIL YOU ARENT LYING ANYMORE”#how much are lies that he wishes were true?
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Everyone's like "we don't need a Bottoms sequel!!!" as if Emma and Rachel didn't plant the seeds for a perfect sequel
#bottoms 2023#either that or they were geniuses bc this ship generated half of the fandom content when it first came out#bc they had so little moments together#and obv that drives fans to fill the void the movie (purposefully...?) left#that's why I think there's less josabel fics bc no one felt the need to continue their story#tho I think ppl absolutely should#anyways#i miss them#pjhazel
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the history of newsgirls is legitimately more interesting to me than anything else so the fact they’re so wildly excluded from professional productions is Insane to me
#newsies#bway having ONLY smalls#the tour having ONLY sniper (thats still smalls to me tho)#the brooklyn girls were Awesome but come in with 30 mins left of the show so#the history is too interesting and upsetting for them to be That ignored#not to menton the brooklyn girls arent even accepted by like half the fans#reading a book right now#(newsies vs the world by ashley varela :)) !!)#and its So interesting#insane to me how excluded they are
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so about those timelines where flowey helped everyone. i feel like there’s some kind of division in people’s minds between those ones, the “good timelines,” and the ones after his first kill, the “bad timelines.”
first off, i really don’t think any of those timelines were “good.” not really good for anyone, especially not good for flowey. the thing about those timelines: we don’t know too much about them, but it’s reasonable to infer that flowey didn’t exactly give others much agency in them. but i’ve already talked about that. point is, he never settled. he gave himself responsibility for everything, and he didn’t let anyone move on until everything was perfect. that’s probably why he got tired. he was bored of wondering “what can i slightly change so that this solution gets slightly better?” he was tired of barely any change but still feeling like he could improve. and because he could, he had to.
the dreemurr parents put a lot of pressure on their kids. “the future of humans and monsters.” “the prince of this world’s future.” they sound rather similar. as a prince, asriel was expected to someday lead monsterkind. he was expected to be like asgore, help his subjects at any cost. considering this, it makes sense that flowey tried over and over to make everyone perfectly happy, until he couldn’t try anymore.
#at some point you have to wonder if it’s worth it#he’s been working so hard#doesn’t he deserve a break?#and i’m sure he did go back to helping everyone at some point#maybe every once in a while#but what was the point if he couldn’t give them the perfect ending?#flowey had all the time in the world#he just wanted to do something new#this is why it’s so important that he left “asriel” behind#“asriel” is the one who fell into that spiral in the first place#“asriel” is dead#if he even existed at all#if flowey had just accepted that there was no such things as a happy ending#and he decided to just live his life the way he wanted to live it#he wouldn’t have ended up the way he did#the other timelines weren’t the goal#they were little games to play#because he was sick of doing what he shouldn’t have to do#what a KID shouldn’t have to do#crap i put half the post in the tags again#maybe i’ll take a screenshot and repost#anyway#undertale#flowey#character analysis#asgore#toriel#tagging them because this is kinda their fault#not really blaming them#they did have to prepare asriel in some way
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Today I have mostly been processing the memory from my wedding of being in the toilet alone fighting with my dress and hearing some of my evening guests talking amongst themselves about how they had popped down the road to a cocktail bar and might leave again.
And I came out and brushed it off and just said whatever do what you want, it’s not that serious.
And it wasn’t, and I didn’t feel bad at the time, but fuck me looking back how was I effectively bullied at my own wedding man
#my wedding was basically paying thousands to realise I had. about half the friends I thought I had#I left behind my cool circle in London (some of them did come and were wonderful) for a bunch of cunts#but truly if I wrote that in a script you would say it was too on the nose#all of the thin aesthetic girls being mean about the fatty who thought they were friends
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