#also love that I made 4 about charlie with 3 of them being the same template and all 4 being about the same movie

[drummer-from-down-under]

Rewatched The Mighty Ducks trilogy. Have some shitty memes.

[hazelfoureyes]

Do you think you could do a male version of the radioapple is the safe word? Or maybe just a gender neutral pronouned story? I adore it so much

of course! I am happy to adapt my stories whenever possible 🥺✨ sometimes I can’t but this one was an easy enough shift! didn’t tag the horny deer cult, this is the same story but with the hardware swapped out. Will tag in new pieces 🙏 warning; I almost exclusively watch femboy gay porn and it shows

The Safeword is RadioApple (Part 1)

(RadioApple x MaleReader)

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

tags/warnings/promises: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, smut, RadioApple in a sense, male reader, creampie, breath play, rough sex, Alastor is an eternal little shit, soft jazz, hard jazz, Luci calls himself Daddy, 🗣️ READER GETS SPITROASTED, threesome, asshole hulk smashed, half assed blowjob, help I got too horny on main

MINORS DNI BRUH

“Sir.”

Lucifer jumped, whipping around and shoving Alastor’s face away. “You are a living nightmare, fuck!” He hated being snuck up on, as most people do. Adjusting his hat, he looked around the hotel lobby to see if anyone else witnessed his personal jump scare. Charlie and Vaggie were seated nearby, but hadn’t paid them any attention.

“I aim to please! Now,” Alastor gestured to the stairs, “I, unfortunately, need to show you something upstairs.”

“Ha!” Lucifer forced out a laugh, “Ha. Haaa- Not a chance, scarecrow. Find someone else to search for your brain.” He smirked to himself. “Did you hear that Charlie? I made a joke.”

But Charlie was not laughing. She finally turned her focus to them. “Dad, you have to start trying to get along with Alastor.” She looked to Alastor who was nodding along as if he actually cared at all, “He’s trying to spend time with you. Come on, Dad. For me?”

With a pout, he dramatically crossed his arms, “Fine. I’ll play nice, for you. Not for him.” Lucifer glared daggers at Alastor. “Fuck him.”

“Daaad!” She groaned.

“Yeah yeah, I’m going.” 

Alastor let his microphone follow behind Lucifer’s back, an unseen and unfelt safety net so he couldn’t back out. When they approached Alastor’s door, Lucifer put up his hands as if to physically stop the situation from progressing, “There is no way in all of hell I am going in your bedroom.”

Alastor’s eyes rolled, frustrated already with the interaction. “Are you sure about that?” He pushed the door open, using his mic to make contact with the small of Lucifer’s back. He stopped resisting when he finally looked into the room.

He took a step in, willingly, and as he saw you sitting in the center of the bed in just your sleep robe, he let out a quiet, “What the fuck is this?”

Then a louder, “Heeey, kitten…”. The sound of the door locking made his head whip back to Alastor, teeth bared.

“Luci.”

Softened under the sound of his own name from your lips he brought his attention back to the bed.

It was no secret to anyone that you two were fond of each other. It was the little things you did that endeared the fallen angel to you, how you doted on him. Filling his glass at dinner when you noticed it getting close to empty, holding the door for him, keeping eye contact when he went off on some excited tangent.

Everyone was also aware you were Alastor’s person. And Alastor would give you anything you wanted in death; and today you happened to want Luci.

You’d seen the broadcasts of the King of Hell defending his daughter during the last extermination. The power he gave off, even from your screen, brought goosebumps down your arms. So when you found your way to the hotel, you were elated to see Lucifer himself readily available for interactions. Your luck continued, as your father’s love of jazz had been passed down to you and allowed the radio demon to notice your presence among the sea of new residents. Following the sounds of Nat ‘King’ Cole, he found you one evening in your room, and a mutual fondness for music bore a new friend. And then, more. 

Soon enough you were a regular member of the Hazbin Hotel core crew, by way of Alastor.

That’d been some months ago now, and you finally had the courage to ask Alastor for a special favor.

No part of him understood your motivation, but the idea of making the king of hell pussy-whipped to his darling was understanding enough. And, of course, the pleasure of watching you enjoy yourself. While he was capable all his own, he was happy to allow someone else to fill in. Not to mention—- no, actually, definitely mention the fact it would give him a little more power in the tense dynamic between himself and Lucifer.

For Alastor, sharing you physically wasn’t an issue.  Sex was something he did for your pleasure, though he did enjoy the control he held over you in those intimate moments.

Watching you mewl under someone else, knowing he gave the permission, that Lucifer would never have a chance in Hell if The Radio Demon didn't allow it, made his head dizzy with the loss of blood flow. Whatever pleasure Lucifer could give you was pleasure he has granted you both. The idea of someone pining for you but never having a chance unless he says so made him feel powerful.

“I have a request, of sorts.” You tried to keep your smile still, cheeks twitching with pure nerves. The room was lit by only two small lamps on either nightstand and the light coming from the half open bathroom.

Lucifer approached you, making a dramatic point of going past Alastor. The radio demon chuckled, the king of hell scowled. He placed one knee on the end of the bed, trying to forget this was the spot you shared most nights with Alastor. His smile encouraged you to continue.

“You can say no.” You added quickly. 

“Why would I ever do that?” Lucifer continued to smile at you, too sweetly for what you were going to ask.

“Many reasons.” You added quicker. 

“Come on, tell Luci.” He laughed softly at the idea of denying you anything.

You pressed the tips of your index fingers together nervously, “I want you to fuck me.”

He tried to blink but his eyelids only seemed to rise further and further up his face with every attempt.

“You what now?”

His eyes darted to Alastor, who was now crawling onto the bed and settling behind you. 

“It was a fairly straightforward statement, sir.” Alastor’s tone was always teetering on mocking when he addressed Lucifer, “My dear would like you, for some god awful reason, to bed him.”

If this hadn’t been such a shock, Lucifer would have quipped, “Oh because you can’t, you overdressed maitre d’?”

But when he opened his mouth, there was nothing. He just stared at you. Alastor’s long legs and lanky arms came down beside you, behind you. You looked like the enticing light of an angler fish’s lure, sharp teeth shining just over your shoulder. 

“I thought-,” he motioned between the two of you.

You nodded, “Alastor is happy when I’m happy. And right now, I’d be overjoyed to spend an evening taking care of you.”

Oh, why couldn’t you have said it so sweetly the first time? Take care of him? You always did. Every time he felt something lacking he’d find you close behind offering him just the thing.

Whether a smile, or supportive word, or just a sympathetic ear.

Shifting onto your hands and knees, you crawled toward Lucifer. His face was flush, his brows knitted together in some mix of worry and confusion.

“You don’t have to do that, kitten. I don’t need that.” He reached out a hand to touch your cheek but stopped himself; he’d never touched you before. He had gone out of his way to avoid it, because he couldn’t bear what it would do to him. He’d just be hurting himself, he had thought. His hand began to pull away but you reached out with both of yours and took hold of his wrist.

“I don’t have to do anything, ever, Luci,” Alastor’s grin widened as you said it. A hum of approval only he could hear. A silent, ‘That’s my boy.’

“This is about what I want.” You leaned up to rest your cheek in his open palm, “I’ll accept any answer from you.” Your eyes staring up at him promised safety, “So, what do you want?”

He buried his face in his free hand, opening his fingers to look over you once more. In the shade of the canopied bed, Alastor sat motionless. But Lucifer couldn’t see him, not because of the shadows but because his focus was so purely on you. He had absolute tunnel vision, which happened often when you two would speak. Lucifer made a low sound, coming from somewhere deep in his chest,  hidden beneath all his shame and sense of inadequacy.

Your question was answered as he removed his hat, tossing it to the chaise lounge near the wall. You sat back on your legs and gave him space to remove his coat. Your heart seemed to double its pace, skin practically vibrating. A not-insignificant part of you expected a gentle but firm, “kindly fuck off.”

He seemed to be avoiding eye contact as he pulled his bow tie loose, only returning his knee to the bed when he’d kicked off his boots. Just the shifting of the weight of the bed made your thighs twitch, finally. Alastor leaned backed and watched, Lucifer’s gaze was full of uncertainty as he crawled to you. 

Hilarious. Already worth the price of admission. 

Both on your knees, you leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s lips. Pulling back, you looked at him and he felt like we’re looking at the sun. Your face was so bright, and warm. What light were you reflecting back at him? Surely not his own. That was long dead. Long buried under bruised wings and lost promises. 

You snaked your fingers into his hair and brought him in for a deeper kiss. When you bit gently on his bottom lip, he shakily opened his mouth. Your grin spread across both of your faces as you pushed your way past his lips.

Lucifer’s tongue was long, and tapered more than you’d expected. It moved, unsure, against yours. Your hands slunk out of his hair and down his chest, sliding until finding the buttons of his vest. 

You felt him gasp into you, and when you began to open his shirt he pulled away, “It’s been… a very long time.”

A scream echoed in your skulll, your own scream, thankfully entirely in your mind. He was so cute. So soft. He looked so worried, you wanted to rip him to pieces with affection. Was that possible? You were going to try.

Your hands fumbled over his belt, the tremble in your fingers making the pants button feel like an aptitude test. Your mouth returned to him, kissing down his cheeks and into the space under his jaw. Finally you could slip your hand down into his pants, and you hissed without thinking.

He was painfully hard, throbbing head pressed into his skin. Your own cock twitched under your robe at the feeling.

Did you do this? Had you gotten the King like this with just a question and a kiss? Tip nearly purple with pressure, you rested your forehead on his collarbone and watched his stomach jump as you wrapped your fingers around it.

Alastor fought back a laugh, tongue nearly cut clean off with the attempt. This was better than he had expected. And he had just the idea to push it over the top.

When your head dipped to swipe your tongue over Lucifer’s cock, you both startled at the sudden sound of music. First you looked to the radio, then to Alastor.

One hand was loosening his bow tie, the other unbuckling his pants. 

“Don’t stop on my accord,” he bit his bottom lip, watching your attention return to Lucifer’s lap. 

Lucifer raised a finger in protest, “I wasn’t aware this was a group activity.”

“The more the merrier.” Alastor whipped his belt off and tossed it to the floor, other hand pulling his member free.

“Three’s a crowd.” 

“Two heads are better than one.” When Alastor lifted your robe away and sunk himself into you, hole soft and ready for him already, you moaned into the blonde hair at the base of Lucifer’s cock.

Your breath over his shaft and now down his balls made his hips buck against you. Your hands gripped at Lucifer’s thighs, trying to get steady enough to return your mouth to his waiting heat. You could smell his arousal, your head dizzy with so many of your senses being assaulted by both men. 

“You okay, kitten?” A concerned hand came to your cheek. 

Your watery, lust clouded eyes met his, “It feels so good, Luci.” His dick jerked. When you finally managed to get him in your mouth his head fell back, legs under him twitching with the need to move along to the bobbing of your head. Lucifer was wider than Alastor, the corners of your mouth burning as you tried to take in as much of him as possible. 

Alastor’s hand raked long nails down your back, a whine ran from your throat and down Lucifer’s shaft.  He moaned in turn, trying to not connect the dots between himself and Alastor.

“I think you may need a little demonstration, from someone more–, “ Alastor leaned down, his face now inches from Lucifer’s. His hand wrapped around your neck, “experienced.” He pulled you up by your throat.

Lucifer watched, your knees no longer touching the bed as Alastor fucked up into you. One hand gripping your throat, one arm holding your body against his. Your face began to redden, and your thighs noticeably clenching as best they could, legs open and feet on either side of Alastor’s body. Your cock hard and bouncing with every thrust. Lucifer winced, you looked pained, he wanted—

“Aa--Alastor,” Your voice was like honey, thick and sweet around Alastor’s name. Lucifer’s face fell flat, how could he have that? What did he need to do to have you say his name in such a debauched way? Why did that gangly sack of bones get all of the fun?

“See? He can handle more than you’d expect.” Alastor grinned, planting a kiss on your neck. You could see Lucifer watching through your wet eyelashes, his cock twitching repeatedly as his hand finally came down to touch himself. 

With the hand not holding onto Alastor’s wrist at your throat, you reached out for Lucifer. “Luci.” 

Alastor let you fall forward. Keeping your hips in the air and knees dangling just above the comforter, he continued his rough pace into your tight heat. Pulling your body on and off of his length with harsh drags he watched you lick from the base to the top of Lucifer’s member. Each thrust from him knocking your chin against it. 

When you popped the head back into your mouth and moaned around it from Alastor’s continued fucking, Lucifer gripped your hair with both hands. Alastor’s own erection jumped in you, the king of hell himself buckling from his dearest’s mouth. He could break him entirely by just pulling you off of Lucifer’s cock and refusing to return you. He was positive Lucifer would cry into his ruined orgasm if he did such a thing.

Tempting.

But, he promised to play along, for you. And he would, at his own terms. 

He pushed aside the thought entirely, instead returning to the task in front of him. Your tongue was pinned down when Lucifer was in your mouth, cock too fat to allow any room for movement. You abandoned trying to suck him off, and changed tactics to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh in your hands. 

Lucifer’s mind was—- he wasn't sure where exactly. His consciousness splintered around you. The feeling of you; your tongue was swirling around him, the first contact he’s had other than himself in literal years. The sound of you; your soft moans and huffs were both audible and physical, the hot breath ghosting over him. The sight of you; head in his lap as he leaned back, your ass in the air and making a satisfying slapping noise every time– 

Alastor. His eyes met Lucifer’s and a wicked grin took hold of his features. Lucifer could practically hear Alastor whisper across your body, ‘Watch this.’ Maybe Alastor had thought it, but he kept it to himself. 

Your hands began pumping Lucifer’s length while your body was slightly dragged away as Alastor backed up and let your knees find some solid ground again. 

Lucifer sat on his legs still, eyes flitting from between your face to the place you and Alastor connected. He could see Alastor disappearing inside you, and every intrusion had you gasping and mewling into the blankets. Your hand was still gently stroking him with outstretched arms, eyes clenched close.

Alastor smirked up at Lucifer, coming down over your back to reach around your body and find your dick, now pulsing under his hand. Immediately, you reacted. Legs squeezing together, hands stilling around your king’s cock. With a bite and lick to your shoulder blade, the radio demon set a bruising pace against you. That warmth in your core was spreading down as you felt him press against your g-spot with every kiss of his hips. 

You choked out his name, a chant Lucifer had never wanted to hear before now. How could you make Alastor’s name sound so delicious? He wrapped his fingers around yours on his dick and began moving with you. Your eyes rolled up to him, a weak smile forming before your orgasm made your face tighten. Alastor knew your body so well, bringing you to orgasm was like playing a well practiced song on the piano. Both required strong and fast fingers and a sense of rhythm. His hands working your shaft, fingers ghosting over your balls and head with every stroke up and down. 

With a few more deeper, shorter moves Alastor stilled, too. Your knees slid down as your hips sank into the bed, your own release sticky and already cooling under you.

Lucifer let your hand go limp, swallowing hard. He wasn’t ignorant to the way Alastor smiled at him as he reclined into the headboard, tucking himself back into his pants. 

“I have complete faith in you, for once.” Alastor teased Lucifer, hand motioning to your still limp body. His smile seemed to dare Lucifer, challenge him, to keep going even with Alastor’s release sitting pretty in you. 

Luci took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, before pushing the hair from your forehead, “Hey there, kitten. What do ya need?”

With an uncharacteristic hunger in your eyes, you forced your line of sight up to him, “You, Luci.” Visibly shuddering, you sat up and brought your legs towards him, your knees touching each other in an odd display of shyness. Your hand felt at your entrance, Alastor’s seed just beginning to find its way from your relaxed and stretched hole. 

“Is it okay?” You asked, spreading the thick fluid between your fingers in front of Luci. 

Something between a grimace and a pout came over him, it wasn’t his ideal situation but the idea of — just how much he’d slip and slide in and out of your with the added lubrication made him feel feral. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Alastor hoped to ruin you and sour his experience. He decided to not allow it. 

With a kiss to his nose, you wrapped your arms around his neck and lied back. You weren’t sure you were breathing anymore when you felt his scorching head slot up with your entrance. He rubbed the leaking fluid over himself and you with swipes up and down your ass, teasing your entrance with every pass. The difference between his heat and the cooled cum made him shiver in turn. 

As he began to press into you, your body instinctively scooted away. It took both of your hands hooked under his arms to stay still enough for him to make any real headway. 

Luci stopped, your face clearly pained. Your head shook in response, “Please, you just have to keep going. I’ll adjust.” While both of his heads swelled with pride – Alastor’s cock clearly smaller – Luci didn’t notice the wild eyes of the radio demon. 

Alastor brought a hand to his face, red eyes peering between his spread fingers, smile threatening to break at the seams as he watched Lucifer Morningstar fucking his cum into his darling dear. 

 What a pitiful sight. How humiliating.

What would Charlie think of her big bad daddy? What would the other sins say? If they could see their king now, slick and shiny?

Your nails cut into his skin, and you were worried you were tearing slightly. Instead of attempting to thrust his way in, he chose to just continually press. The way your body seemed to be splitting made you second guess your decisions. But when his head finally popped in, your bullied boy cunt got some reprieve. He stopped, taking deep breaths. 

Tears were collecting on your waterline, Luci noticed and leaned on an elbow to wipe them away. His blonde hair was falling forward now, tickling at your forehead. 

You nodded, answering a question he didn’t ask, and he continued to force your walls open to accommodate him. The only sound in the room was the soft instrumental jazz number playing from atop the dresser. Your voice was stuck in your throat, Luci was focusing too hard to form words. Alastor could speak, but the music was just too enjoyable to interrupt. 

Finally, after what could have been two minutes or twenty, you felt Luci bottom out. You had to just lie there for a second, never having felt something so solid in your otherwise soft body. No slight to Alastor, who was perfectly skilled in his abilities. Luci was just—- more than you had expected. 

As he pulled out, you thanked the heavens and hell and the rings within that Alastor had left you so wet and already softened. The first few thrusts were genuinely uncomfortable, the pleasure you felt almost entirely mental, drawn from the reality of who was pulling your insides back and forth. You were so tight around him that he too was almost pained; so much pressure but no way to move enough to get any release.

Slowly, the ring of your entrance relented and Luci could finally move at a normal pace. He would take himself out to his head before slipping back in. Every thrust made your body spread around him, a semi-truck through a field of sunflowers. Your body didn’t stand a chance, and you were grateful he chose gentleness for his entrance.

He leaned back on both hands, using the position to fucked up into you at an angle. He knew very well where to hit to begin gathering your pleasure.

Alastor dropped his head, yours between his legs. His hair made a short curtain, hiding the look he was giving you from Luci. He adores the faces you make when you are happy. Excited. Pleasured. You tried to offer him a smile, but you couldn’t manage it for long. Your eyes would roll back, lips tighten as you focused on the feeling Luci was providing. Focused on the sensations, of being so full, so sticky wet, so wanted. But Alastor was still watching, the sight of Luci blocked from his view as he enjoyed every little twitch of your mouth, every whimper. 

It wasn’t jealousy, it was something more personal that stung Luci. While he couldn’t actually discern the looks you two gave each other, Luci felt very much the odd man out. But, he considered his position. Literally. He was leaning as far from your body as he could. He remembered the way you said Alastor’s name. Alastor had showed him exactly what to do, albeit in his usual obnoxious, showy fashion.

Sitting up, Luci adjusted your legs and slotted himself between them. Alastor leaned back, relinquishing your focus. Both of you looked at Luci though as one of his hands came to enclose your throat.

Alastor was almost impressed. Almost. You brought both hands to wrap around his wrist, glancing to Alastor behind you.

The words came out of Alastor as half warning, half instruction, “If he needs you to stop, he’ll tap two fingers twice on you, wherever he can reach.” Lucifer nodded, eyes not meeting Alastor’s. He kept them on your face, watching for any sign of distress as he tightened his grip. The way your muscles clenched around him earned you a hiss.

He began to move again, the new position causing his stomach to rut against your returning erection as he buried himself in you. More clenching; He tightened his grip more. 

“Are you sure he isn’t hurting?” Luci asked, your eyes closed and nails digging into his wrists.

“Nonsense. Can’t you feel him? Or does he just grip me like that?” The cocky expression made Luci unconsciously clench his fist on your neck. A gentle tap tap snapped him back to you. He loosened up again, his eyes large and apologetic.

You unconsciously tightened your own grip on his dick, grinding up into him for more friction. Your body had finally relaxed, pleasure freely flowing from where you and Luci tangled together. You closed your eyes, the pressure constant on the veins to your head. Blood flow restricted just enough to lower your oxygen levels and raise the nitrogen oxide in your body. It resulted in a dizzying feeling, maybe there was a primal panic that caused your body to feel heightened pleasure. You didn’t feel scared, or in danger. You felt —— ah there it was. You felt weak. You felt docile. You felt like you existed purely to give pleasure and the idea turned you on. In every day life you’d never allow someone to use you, to push you around. You were anything but subservient. That’s why it was so enthralling now. It was so strange a sensation. And to give yourself so fully to the king of hell, the originator of all sin? You groaned, head rolling back. 

Luci watched your head loll, drank in your groans and gasps and felt himself get dizzy too. More. Say his name like you did Alastor’s. Praise how well he fucked you. Reward him. Love him.

He pulled out suddenly, his head leaving you for the first time since it managed to fit in initially. Luci put both hands on your hips and directed you to roll onto your stomach. He pulled your ass up, knees bent. You crawled up enough to rest your forehead on the crook of Alastor’s leg, one lazily outstretched and the other bent under him slightly. Luci wasted no time pushing back in. He leaned over you and pressed his hand into your back, forcing your chest to be slightly crushed into the bed. He pulled out and slammed back into you, tearing a yelp from you as he hit deeper than he had before, stomach lurching into your chest with the impact.

He stopped, unsure, until he felt your hand reach under yourself and rest at the junction of his knee and calf. His other hand came to your right hip, and he used it to keep you from sliding up the bed. Letting his eyes close again, he focused on the feeling of you around him. His crotch and thighs were covered in oil and cum, his balls tight against him. Every drag out of you made his body jerk back into you with need. It felt so good, too good. He needed more. He pressed hard into you, oversized tip of his cock opening parts of you never before reached. He made shorter thrusts now, ensuring he bottomed out every time. It was too deep, too much of a stretch. Your moans slowly devolved into screams, the pleasure mixed with a soft burning. 

You could feel him spreading open your body, soft walls helpless to resist his raging member. The feeling of your silky boy cunt sliding along his cock, your tight hole gripping him, was driving him mad.

You were screaming. Actual, pleasured screams, threatening to alert the entire hotel to your activities. Wails that started shrill and dipped into a gutteral cry filled the room with every thrust of Lucifer’s frenzied hips.

A tiny part of your brain felt embarrassed, a dying animal shrieking into Alastor’s thigh.

An ever shrinking part of Lucifer existed too, the piece of him too preoccupied with your two fingers on his leg to enjoy you. It got smaller and smaller, no longer a blockade to his pleasure, but a safety net allowing him to walk the tightrope of sadism.

The radio’s volume dial rolled, smooth jazz now blaring and drowning out your painfully pleasured cries. Alastor was fine with allowing someone to take care of your needs at his permission but strangers had no business enjoying your sounds.

As Luci became lost in the sensation of your body trying to suck him in whole, his hand on your back began to press down. Your breaths got shorter, it got harder to expand your lungs fully.

Face turned and drooling onto the fabric of Alastor’s pants, you started gasping out his name, “Luci! Nngh Luciiii, Lucifer.”

Your lips dropped his name and it fell like lead into his thoughts. He fought the urge to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm building. He watched your flushed skin jump beneath every punishing thrust, his name a spell you could now barely whisper, not enough breathe to scream. Your upper body was entirely buried into the mattress. It felt like your back might snap with Luci’s loss of control. You kept your hand on his leg, ever ready to tap out.

The yellow of his eyes turned red, just like the skin of your ass where his hip bones chaffed. “You take me so well, kitten.” He ground out, “Daddy’s gonna cum.”

Alastor’s eyes glowed a blood red from the end of the bed, a wickedly devious grin across his face at the opportunity before him, he looked up at Luci and said with a commanding tone, “Cum.”

Luci was already over that peak when his eyes flew up to catch Alastor’s, it was too late to stop his orgasm. He was helpless to disobey, despite his now desperate desire to never cum again. With a moan, and a hiss, he pressed your body fully into the mattress. Your body now flush, he waited until his cock stopped jerking his long overdue seed into your bruised ass.

Luci lied on top of you even after you were full to the brim with his cum. It was already forcing its way out around his softening cock when he managed to roll off of you and onto his back.

Staring at the canopy of the bed, he felt two emotions rise to the surface. First, concern. He turned to you, and you gave a weak thumbs up.

Second, rage.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you.” He looked to Alastor, who was grinning as he pet your head, whispering something to you. 

“Little late for dirty talk, your highness.”

Lucifer growled, but Alastor’s palm pressed against his forehead and pushed him back down to the bed.

“I sleep on the left. I’d prefer you on the right.” he gently moved your head from his lap, “Beside me, my dear. A darling barrier.” Alastor didn’t look at Lucifer, just slid off the bed and walked into the en-suite bathroom. “No outside clothes under the comforter.” Alastor called from the bathroom before the sound of rushing water poured in.

You rolled onto your back, still catching your breath. Body sprawled out on the massive bed like a starfish.

Lucifer turned onto his side, hand caressing your arm. “Are you okay, kitten? I didn’t mean to lose myself like that.” He felt shame, like he had done something terrible. “And— I didn’t help you finish. That’s pretty shitty.”

But it fell away when you smiled back at him, “I feel great. Sore, but great all the same.” You let your fingers clumsily lace with his. “I really like you, Luci. And I don’t need to cum to enjoy myself. You can always try again, ya know?”

Lucifer felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t press you to clarify what exactly that meant before Alastor scooped you up and carried you to the bath.

There was a moment where he was alone, noticing the radio was back to a tolerable volume, the water splashing softly out of view. He felt out of place, like he had accidentally walked into a stranger’s home. He wasn’t sure what to do next, where to go from there when Alastor’s head popped back into the room, annoyed, “Are you coming or not? Those are clean sheets.”

༻Masterlist༺

[angelst4re]

Hiiii i love your work sm <3 ur one of my favorite jamie x reader accs, i already requested smth like this a bit ago but theres absolutely no Caius stuff whatsoever (my babys underrated🥹) 😭 i was wondering if you could write a caius smutt? Id love smth with a daddy kink but if thats not smth youre comfy with do whatever ^~^ and maybe the reader being Bellas sis👀 SJSJSJSJ but yea thats all

of course!! i remember getting some caius requests a while ago but i never got around to writing them which is a shame because they had so much potential :( this also turned out a lot longer than i expected! i hope you like it my love <33

Only You- Caius Volturi x Fem!Reader

summary: caius had offered you a life of everlasting luxury, all you had to do was leave your life behind

warnings: contains smut!! daddy kink (hoping and praying it isn't cringey!), oral (f! receiving), unprotected sex

notes: caius my beloved i don't write enough for him :(

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Why don’t you think about it, hm?” His thumb was placed under your chin, tilting your head up so you would look at him.

“I just… I don’t want to leave my family- my sister!” You frowned, thinking about how Bella would react if you had suddenly ‘run away from home’.

“Your sister is a fool, my dear. She’s already in a relationship with one of us. But-”

“Edward? That can’t be true! He still goes to school, he’s not a- he can't be a… vampire.” The word tasted bitter on your tongue as your eyes met Caius’ again.

“Oh, but he is. But you see, he isn’t like us. He lives a very different life, one very similar to yours. A very repetitive, tiring, mundane life. But, my darling, I can change that for you. All you have to say is one word, then you will be mine- and I will be yours- forever.”

You looked back down at your shoes, a pair of dark red heels you had bought especially for this visit, and thought. You were tired of your life as it was, a dead end 9 to 5 job, living in your fathers house as you couldn’t afford the rent on your apartment, it felt like you were living the same day over and over again and there was no way out. But this could be the way out. There was nothing Caius couldn’t offer you. A never ending life of luxury, who would be so stupid as to turn it down?

“I’ll think about it.” You promised him, “I will return tonight and leave with you if the answer is a yes. But if I decide not to, then this will be goodbye.”

He gently stroked his cold fingers over your cheek as he nodded his head.

“We return to Volterra at midnight, if you decide to come with us.” Was all he said before he turned around and walked away, leaving you by yourself in the alleyway.

You had a decision to make. And you had 4 hours to make it.

However, there was no decision to make, you already knew what you were going to do. And you knew there was going to be no regret in doing so.

By the time you returned home, it was almost 9pm. You were glad to see Charlie wasn’t home, and you had been told Bella was at the Cullen’s house, so you rushed into the kitchen and pulled out a page of paper from one of Charlie’s notepads and scribbled an apology note, explaining that you were leaving tonight, that this town was holding you back, and telling them not to contact you as you were leaving your phone behind. You took your phone from your bag and placed it next to the note, before heading to your bedroom.

You took your old gym bag and started filling it with clothes- although you knew you wouldn’t need them, Caius would spoil you with dresses made of the finest velvet and silk, and anything else you could possibly want. You also packed the only photo you had of you and you and Bella, in a photo frame she had made you at school. You hated the thought of leaving your little sister behind, but there was a chance that you weren’t. If she was already in a relationship with Edward, there was a possibility that she would also become one of them.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You had made it back to Volterra, Caius did not let you out of his sight the entire journey. Every time Marcus or Aro (or even Alec) would make a comment about you or Caius’ relationship, he would only hold you closer and remind them of how he would turn you in the morning, once you had rested, and that you were sure to become more powerful than they could imagine, which made you smile to yourself.

Later that night, Caius had shown you around where you will be staying, and you couldn’t believe how beautiful the room was. The walls were a deep red, as was the bedding, but there were also gold accents such as a few decorative vases, and curtains that covered the door to the balcony. Everything looked so luxurious, so expensive. You were sure you were dreaming.

“Caius,” you gasped as you looked around the room, “this is beautiful!”

“Look in the wardrobe, I hope you like what was chosen. I don’t know anything about your personal style, but-”

“Oh my gosh!” You pulled out a dark red nightgown, it looked quite short as you held it up, and that was when you noticed the black lace that decorated the hem of the dress.

Something shifted inside of Caius, a smirk began to creep onto his lips as he walked over to you.

“I think you should try it on, baby.” He said, his fingers lingering on the hem of your t-shirt.

“Do you think it’ll look good on me?” You asked, in a seductive tone as you turned around to face Caius.

“You would look heavenly in anything.” He said, leaning down to your ear to whisper “or even nothing at all.”

At that, you decided you couldn’t take it anymore, and you kissed him. He seemed surprised by it at first, but he soon began to take control and kissed you back. There has been so much sexual tension between the two of you ever since you first met. He knew from the beginning that he wanted you by his side forever, and you knew you wanted to take him to bed. And here you were.

You were quickly stripped of your t-shirt by his quick hands, tearing it in two as he pushed you down onto the bed. You giggle as your back hits the mattress, before he captures your lips again in a hungry kiss.

"Caius I-"

"Darling, that isn't my name…" He says, giving you a teasing look. His eyes sparkled when you replied,

"Sorry, daddy."

"Now, that's my good girl." His lips returned to yours once more as his hands slid down your body, your back involuntarily arched as he slid your trousers down your legs, followed by your panties, leaving you in nothing but your bra.

After noticing this, you reached around your body to take your bra off, but you were stopped.

"Now you're with me, sweetheart, you'll never have to lift a finger. Daddy will do anything for you, all you have to do is be a good girl for me, okay?" He unclasped your bra and slid it off your body, dropping it to the floor beside him.

The way he looked at your body surprised you, nobody had ever looked at you like this before. He looked like he had just won the lottery, or he had just been told the best news of his life. His eyes took in the sight of your breasts for a moment, cupping one with his hand and brushing his thumb over your nipples which caused you to let out a breathy moan as your eyes fell shut. He repeated this action on your other boob, and you found yourself spreading your legs apart further, your back arching and your cunt begging to be touched.

“Caius-” You were cut off, unable to finish your sentence, by the vampire biting down on your shoulder- not to turn you, but as a warning. “Daddy,” you corrected yourself, panting as he continued to toy with your nipples, “I need you to touch me.”

“But I am touching you, darling.” He teased, his lips pressing gentle kisses over the spot where he had bitten you, “how do you want me to touch you, hm?”

“I want you to… use your fingers… down there.”

“Ah, I see,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he pushed himself up, holding your legs to keep them spread for him as he moved down to get a better view of your aching cunt. “Awh, sweetheart,” he mocked you as he ran a finger up and down your slick folds, “is this all for me?”

“Yes, daddy. Only you.”

It was as if your words carried magic, as his face was buried between your thighs in an instant, his tongue delving into your core. He finally got a taste of you, and he was certain he would never get enough of this.

Your back arched impossibly further and your nails dug into his shoulders through his black silk shirt. His tongue was circling your clit, then he was sucking the nub between his lips, and then you felt one of his hands on your thighs move, and he was teasing a finger over your hole, feeling your cunt pulse as he pressed the tip of his finger inside of you before pulling it back out again and circling your hole once more.

He enjoyed teasing you like this, after years or even decades of having nobody to touch in such a way, he never wanted this to end. But as you were still a human, he knew your body would not be ready for his yet, and he was trying his hardest not to flip you onto your stomach, prop your hips up and fuck you brainless. But it was impossible to resist when your moans escaped your lips, they were like music to his ears, but he wanted to make sure you were ready.

He had given in, he slipped his middle finger into your hole and let go of your clit with a ‘pop’ sound. As he fucked you with his finger, he decided you were ready to take another one, so his index finger joined the first one in stretching you out.

“Darling, I’m afraid of hurting you if we go any further. You need to let me know you’re definitely okay with this, I’m being serious.”

“I can take it,” you panted, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes, “please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, daddy.”

It only took seconds for him to strip off his clothes, he was then completely bare in front of you. You’d be lying if you said your eyes didn’t shoot straight towards his cock, but the sight of his beautifully sculpted torso made your cheeks flush, and you suddenly felt a little self conscious in front of him. You tried to push that feeling aside, especially when your eyes found their way to his cock again. It was a little bigger than anything you had taken before, which excited you more than you expected.

“You have done this before, right?” He asked, gently as he stroked his cold hand up and down your thigh, returning to his place, kneeling between your legs.

You nodded your head, and he seemed to feel a little relieved.

“Only twice- both with humans.” You thought you should clarify.

“That’s okay, sweet girl. It’s just a little bit different for us.”

He took his cock in his hand, pumping it a couple times in his fist before he rubbed the head against your clit, making you bite down on your lip as he had left you feeling very sensitive.

“You see,” he began as he brought the tip of his cock down towards your hole, lining himself up with you, “we don’t get tired very easily,” he started to move his hips, the first couple inches sliding into you with a surprising ease, “that means I could take you all night and not have to stop, I could watch you come apart again and again and not grow tired,” once he was fully inside of you, stuffing you to the brim, he looked down at you and into your eyes, “but it won’t be like that tonight, darling. I don’t want to hurt you, and I haven’t done this in quite a while, I may not be able to control myself.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, “don’t be afraid to be rough with me. I can take it. I promise.”

At that, you felt his hips move and his dick twitch, and he began to slip his cock out of you, so just the tip remained, before pounding back into you, earning a breathy moan from you, and him to mutter lewd words under his breath as your cunt pulsed around him.

“I love you so much, you’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” He asked, his brows furrowed as his hips began to thrust at such a pace you had to wrap your legs around his waist and dig your nails into the bedsheets in hopes to keep you from floating away, because it felt better than anything you had ever felt before.

“Yes, daddy. Always your good girl.” You babbled, words spilling from your lips without any thought process. You were unable to think about anything other than the pleasure he was giving you.

You could feel him deeper inside you than you’ve ever felt before, he was hitting spots you never knew were there, causing your brain to feel fuzzy, along with your tummy. You could also feel a knot starting to tighten in your stomach, which felt like it could snap at any point, sending you over the edge.

“I love you too,” you finally said back, “so much, so so much.”

“I know, sweet girl.” He said, a sympathetic smile on his lips, knowing you were getting close.

He flipped the two of you over, he was now sat against the headboard and you were sat on his lap, bouncing on his cock, desperately chasing your high.

You felt his hips begin to thrust upwards, and his cock was even deeper than it had been before. His hands were placed gently on your hips, as to not bruise your skin. He guided you up and down on his length, and you threw your head back, shameless moans spilling from your lips.

“Oh, fuck, I’m so close. Please, please can I-”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you. I’m right here. Cum for me, show me how good I make you feel.” His thumb stroked over your clit, helping to push you over the edge.

In moments, you felt the white hot pleasure rush through your body, making your thighs tremble beneath you as you collapsed onto Caius’ chest, your body going limp, trying to process the most powerful orgasm you had ever experienced.

As your walls clenched and pulsed around his cock, he was pushed over the edge and his hips bucked up as he spilled his seed inside of you, causing you to whimper due to the overstimulation. He apologised and kissed your forehead, holding your warm body close to his cold chest as you came down from the aftershocks of your orgasm, and when you finally returned to reality, you turned your face to look at Caius, giving him a lazy smile as his fingers combed through your hair soothingly.

“There she is,” he smiled, trying to help you get comfortable on his lap, forgetting his cock was still buried inside you. You let out a groan when you felt it twitch, you weren’t sure you were ready for round two as you suddenly felt overtaken by tiredness, you could feel it in your bones.

“I don’t think I can go again, I’m sorry-”

“No, no, don’t apologise. You need to rest, my dear. I’ll stay here as long as you need, but if you’d rather sleep by yourself that’s perfectly fine.”

“Stay.” Was all that you could say before your eyelids fell shut once more, and you dreamt of the life you would live with Caius. You dreamt of a big home, the sun shining through the windows and onto your white bed sheets. You dreamt of waking by the side of your newly wed husband. You dreamt of all the possibilities that came with living forever, with your love by your side.

[kaledya]

Hey friend, I want to ask you some things about Constantine, I'm planning on making a FanFic about his way from Kid to Prince (Before he re encounters with Charlie).

1. How was his training? Was he trained by Lucifer? Or by Satan?, or by every single Deadly Sin?

2. Why did he lose his Humanity so much? Are there any specific or lots of events that relate to that?

3. When and which enemies he destroyed? If you don’t have it specified don’t worry, this is because after all nobody who fought him lived to tell it.

4. (This one is optional), Would you like to have something important on it? Something you would enjoy? Be honest, after all Constantine is your character.

First of all, I am very glad to hear that you want to write a fafic about him! And of course I will be happy to answer your questions!

1.

In terms of knowledge, he was usually educated by the leading sages of Hell (he had a different teacher for each subject, so he had a well-rounded education) and Lucifer taught him what he knew as much as he could (how to use his powers, how to be a king), while Lilith taught him how to behave in politics, ) Satan was the one who taught Constantine's perception of power in general, Constantine was a person who thought that power came only from knowledge, Satan taught him that power was only power, showed him that he could not survive with only knowledge and taught him that fear was stronger than love and respect.

He also learnt from Leviathan about education and science. He was not very close to the other sins in terms of education. When Constantine went to visit his aunt, it was one of the rare times when he was a child and not a prince, Bee tried to make Constantine happy, not to educate him.

2.

In general, the way he was raised and the training he received did this to him. Lilith and Lucifer had no evil intentions, they wanted their sons to be safe and strong, but they realised a little late that they were destroying the humanity in Constantine with their actions, and when they realised, they were at a point where they could no longer go back, but on the bright side, they did not follow the same thing with Charlie. Plus Constantine was already born with a superior intelligence, which made him less empathetic as he grew up, which came with the responsibilities of being a prince, so he had to grow up early because he had too much on him as a child. And even a normal prince would have to harden himself and control his emotions and act rationalistically in order to rule. Constantine was the prince of hell, surrounded by monsters and nobles waiting to see a weakness in him, and if he wanted to defeat the monsters, he had to become one of them. And Constantine did this, he hardened himself until his weakness or emotions were minimised.

The only person that constantine behaves with his sincere personality is his sister Charlie, I can even say that the face that constantine shows to Charlie is so different that Charlie almost does not recognise her brother at the royal meetings. (In the very later parts of the series, they start to develop a relationship with Serenity like Sherlock and Watson. but this is a very slow developing friendship)

and btw I was inspired to write Constantine by these two books maybe it helps to understand him!

3.Sometimes some demons decide to cross the line and Constantine can execute them. There is no one specific one at the moment, only Lucifer or Charlie can defeat Constantine, no one else in Hell is crazy enough to try to fight him. At least not yet.

4.Thank you for asking but no I've got nothing to add at the moment., and Constantine is my character, yes. but this is your fanfic, you can do whatever you want as long as you keep his personality, have fun! And when you're done writing and publish it on ao3 please tag me on tw and I look forward to reading it!

[cosmerelists]

Do the Cosmere Secret Projects Follow the Rules of the Cosmere?

[Big spoilers for Sanderson Secret Projects #1, #3, and #4!]

A while ago, I wrote a list proposing some Rules of the Cosmere--aka, trends or themes that tended to crop up in most Cosmere works. Now that I've read all of the Secret Projects, though, I had to wonder: do they also follow the definitely ironclad rules that I once proposed? Let's consider!

1. Don’t feed the children

Summary of Rule: If you try to feed a hungry child in a Cosmere book, something terrible will happen.

Off to a bad start! I don't think this rule came up at all. I don't recall any children being fed, really.

2. Once Marriage is On The Table, Breakups Don’t Really Happen

Summary of Rule: Once characters get to the point of marriage, be they engaged or in an arranged marriage or just solidly A Thing, it is rare for them to break up.

Yes, the secret projects did adhere to this rule, I think! The best example is from Tress--I remember how SHOCKED I was when word came that the Duke's son really had gotten married. I was like, "How is that possible? Sanderson would NEVER allow a couple like Tress and Charlie to be broken up by Charlie marrying someone else!" And then, of course, it wasn't Charlie at all. Charlie stayed single...until he could get back together with Tress. In Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, the romance was pretty much between Yumi and Painter--not even death could prevent that. Sigzil sadly did not have a lot of time for romance in The Sunlit Man, so the rule didn't really come into play there.

3. Your enemy will save you...if the sexual tension is high enough

Summary of Rule: An enemy with enough sexual tension will often sacrifice themself to save the other person.

Honestly, I don't think we really had this in any of the Cosmere Secret projects? The only fierce enemies I can think of would be Tress & Crow or Sigzil & the Ember King...but there wasn't any sacrifice-to-save-the-other going on there.

4. Your fave is (accidentally) queer

Summary of Rule: Sanderson loves to write characters who are deeply deeply queer without seeming to realize it.

Oh yes--this rule is eternal, and the Secret Projects did not disappoint. There's Yumi herself, Miss "Oh-my-god-I-just-saw-a-goddess," our (second?) favorite bisexual queen (does Sanderson know he made a lady bi again?). And then in the Sunlit Man, there's an exchange that I'm not sure is actually an accidental queering since it seemed so blatant, when Rebeke was asked if she was now "The Sunlit Woman" and replied "No, the Sunlit One." Is there a way to read that other than as nobinary/genderqueer?

5. Don’t trust the underling priest!

Summary of Rule: If betrayal is happening, it's probably the fault of the nearest underling priest.

Honestly, I think the only "priests" we had were in Yumi, and if anything, this was a deconstruction. The "head priestess" would be Liyun, I think, and she was horrible and abusive. The "underlings," Chaeyung and Hwanji were actually far more supportive and actually told Yumi some about what was really going on. So I guess in these books you should trust the underling priest(esses).

6. (per @twitcherpated) If there are same gender siblings, there will be a romantic triangle involving them.

Summary of Role: If there are two brothers and two sisters, they will inevitably be romantically linked to the same person.

I agree with this rule addition proposed by twitcherpated, which does crop up over and over again in the Cosmere. But in the Secret Projects, I think the only same-gender siblings we had were Rebeke and Elegy, and I don't think it works with them. Like, I suppose you could imagine a love triangle with Sigzil...but I don't really buy it. Rebeke was interested in Sigzil, but he didn't reciprocate, and Elegy was too busy loving the thrill of murder to have a romantic interest in Sigzil herself. I guess they both did want Sigzil to themselves, in a way. So maybe it does kinda work?

7. Hoid is there

Summary of Rule: Hoid likes to show up wherever plot is happening

Yes! The Secret Projects 100% adhere to this rule. Hoid is the narrator in Tress and Yumi, and he shows up briefly in The Sunlit Man. Hoid will not be stopped.

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 9/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Whew! Even though there's so much work later, I somehow wrote a kinda long one.

Also,

I have the major plot points down now. As for the ending, I saw a comic on twitter and will definitely take inspiration for it.

I'm very excited for this.

Will be reqriting this better after it's finished and MAYBE.. I'll have the confidence to post it on ao3.

--------------------------------------------------------

Charlie doesn't dare to move even after her father left. She doesn't know how long she stayed kneeling on the ground, staring at the spot where her dad once was.

She can't stop her tears. Is this stress? No. Maybe it's the daddy issues Husk is always talking about.

She hurt her dad again. But he also caused her hurt first and-

Charlie: No! Oh my god. Do I really think that?

Lately, they are becoming each other's undoing. She knows she has the right to be angry, but ...

She can see that he's really trying. Doing everything she asks of him, fixing the hotel, staying at the hotel to help and support her, even getting along with Alastor - now that she thinks about it, what's up with her dad and Alastor?

That's how Vaggie found her- still on the ground, face adorned with dried tears tracks, and definitely deep in thought.

Vaggie: Sweetie? You okay?

Charlie: Vaggie

The dam broke and she was crying again. Charlie hugs her lover tight. Vaggie's shirt was getting wet from tears and snot but she just hugged back just as tightly.

Vaggie: What happened?

Charlie: D-dad.. he- he- wahhhhh

Vaggie: Is he okay? Did something happen? Did he.. did he do something to you?

Charlie: No, Vaggie! More like I did something to him! He was here, in our room, wanting to talk! But I-I-I was so happy. And then he said he was leaving and-and then he said I'll be handling pride and- I wahhh

Charlie didn't know how she had any more tears left to give. Just rethinking what just happened makes her even more miserable.

Vaggie: Wait, wait. Leaving? Why? Didn't he just got here and what about the thing in Sloth??

Charlie sniffs.

Charlie: He said it's related to it- that he needs to find something, no, someone. He didn't want to go without saying goodbye and I just.. exploded.

She nuzzles her face on the fallen angel's neck.

Charlie: I don't want to lose my dad, Vaggie.

Vaggie doesn't know what to say if she's being honest. She wants to be mad at Lucifer. Like, how could a parent who claims they adore their child amongst everything else abandon said child. Lucifer wasn't there when Charlie wouldn't get out of bed whenever her birthday came up, he wasn't there when Vaggie caught her staring at the family portrait full of wishful thinking, or when she cries calls out to her parents in her sleep, or-

But she can't. Because he's trying just like she was back then. They're both doing a little redemption on their own- it just happens to be for the same person.

So she understands. To hurt and to be hurt.

Vaggie: I haven't known your dad for very long, Charlie. But I can tell that... he cares. Yes, he's awkward, a bit socially inept, and has his own issues. But, there's one constant in everything he does.

Charlie: What's that?

Vaggie: You, dummy. He loves you more than anything. He probably made the deal with Heaven to spare Hellborns because of you, now that I think about it. My point is, there is no way in the seven rings of hell that he won't put you above everything.

Charlie is about to protest but Vaggie cuts her off.

Vaggie: Uh! He will. You know why?

Charlie: Why?

Vaggie: Because you're his daughter. It's just how parents are.

Vaggie pulls them both up and they gaze into each other's eyes lovingly.

Charlie: What would I do without you, Vaggie?

Vaggie: Still be your amazing self, I'm sure. I hope you guys resolve this, though. Maybe you could convince him to try other dating options. I don't like this whole thing going on with your dad and Alastor.

They laugh and share a kiss.

Her girlfriend was right. This is how her dad is. He's willing to be better for her.

I want to be better for him too.

....

Wait.

Charlie: What?!

------------------------------------------

What to look forward to in Part 10:

Lucifer in Sloth.

Going to Earth.

[afro-hispwriter]

My Everything(Kai Anderson)

Kai Anderson x black!reader(no heavy descriptions)

Summary- You're Kai's everything but you don't know it until he says it

Warnings- brief fear of s/o,  slight housewife!y/n, slapping, meadow being a bitch, slight vulnerable kai

Wc- 1.9k

-

Being the mother of the children of a cult leader was surprisingly better than expected.

Kai always treated you well, ever since the day you met he always seemed to have a sweet spot for you. And it always shocked you because you've heard so much of him from Winter who introduced you two in the first place. 

And with how sweet he treated you it wasn't long until you fell in love with him. 

But everything changed when you got pregnant, and it was also around the time the cult started forming. You wanted to join, be a part of something but Kai said you weren't allowed to. 

You ended up having twins, a boy, and a girl. Peter and Paradyce. Kai at first wanted to name Peter, Charles, or Charlie but you convinced him to Peter. 

-

"We should consider sending them to school, let them get a taste of hanging out with other kids."  You say as you watched Kai read through the pre-k brochures. 

"Women have always taught their kids at home and they always turn out fine." You hated when he turned all misogynistic.

"Kai, please it's already hard enough for me to take care of the twins and the house at the same time. With them, at school, this would give me time and peace of mind to stalk up on groceries and any other errands I need." He set the brochure down and rubbed his chin.

"Okay, doll." You were shocked by how compliant he was. 

"Really? Okay, I'll call the school tomorrow." You stand up with a smile and as you walked past him he grabbed your hand making you stop.

"Anything for you." Your heart swelled at his words and you swear you could've melted when his lips met the back of your hand. 

-

"So you're telling me these past 3-4 years you and Kai haven't talked about what you are? At all?" Beverly asks you.

"Im just the mother of his children." You say as you turn the stove on.

"Please, you're basically his housewife," Meadow says, bitterly you should say. You frowned and put the pot on the stove. 

"She's kind of right, you're his housewife that he has sex with almost every day," Beverly says and you sighed.

Were you really just the housewife?

"Don't listen to them Y/n," Winter says and swings an arm around your shoulders. "You should hear the way Kai talks about you, he loves you and the kids so much." Ivy walked in and threw some packages on the table.

"Are we shit-talking Kai? Because he's been a real dick lately, but whats knew?" They all laughed besides you and Meadow. 

"Kai is nice to me." They all look at you. 

"I guess, he probably just has a sweet spot for you which is very hard to believe." 

"I guess." You respond and pressed your lips together. Meadow scoffed again and rolled her eyes before walking out. You never knew why Meadow never liked you, you've always tried to be nice to her. 

"Don't worry about her, she's just angry that Kai is in love with you and not her." You couldn't deny it made you jealous knowing another woman loved Kai like you do. But now you know why she doesn't like you. 

-

You questioned yourself the whole night.

Were you really just someone who made his life easier? 

You just dropped the kids off at school and a meeting was just ending. As the members started walking up the stairs and leaving the house one by one. You stood just outside the basement entrance, trying to gain the confidence to talk to Kai about a serious matter. 

When nobody came up you took in a deep breath. And leaned against the wall. 

Kai told you that you weren't allowed in the basement, it was his house so he had the right. But you've been living in that house for the past 4 years, you've cleaned that house multiple times and kept it up to date. It's just as much as your house as it is Kai's, so you were going down into the basement. 

You walked down the steps quietly, just encase there was someone still down there. And there was. You peered down so you could see but was still hidden from anyone's eyes. Kai and Meadow sat across each other with their pinkies linked. 

Anxiety, jealousy, and insecurity surged through your veins. But you had to see what they were doing. They talked lowly but from what you heard Meadow said something about 'Housewives' and 'Alcoholics'. You thought it was no big deal but it seemed to anger Kai because he suddenly raised his hand and smacked Maedow across the face, hard. Making her fall and hit the ground. 

You gasped and slapped a hand over your mouth. 

"ARE YOU GOING TO WASTE MY TIME!?" His screaming startled you so you slowly started to back out, shutting the basement door behind you softly. Your heart was racing and you felt a little lightheaded so you sat down on the couch with your head in your hands. 

You've never seen him act that way. That wasn't your Kai right there. But what if that was his true self and he just used this fake version of himself around you?

It wasn't long before Meadow came up the stairs, trying to make everything okay. She didn't even say goodbye as she closed the front door behind her. Kai came up next and your heart started racing. His fists were clenched and he had a scowl on his face. You stayed quiet waiting for him to make a move and he did.

He slowly started walking to the couch and flopped down next to you making you bounce with it. He groaned and rubbed his forehead. 

"Kids at school?" He asks not looking at you. 

"Mhm." 

"Good, that means we're alone." He says and suddenly wraps his arms around you and roughly tried to pull you into his lap. You gasped and shoved him away, almost falling off the couch. Kai looked at you in confusion, more like as if you went crazy. 

"I-I have to go get groceries for lunch and dinner." You said shakily and walked away. Kai frowned and his eyes followed you to watch you grab your bag. He stood up and leaned against a support, he then dig into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. 

"Go get everything and pay with this." He says and holds out his debit card. "Get yourself something nice too." You hesitantly grabbed the card and tossed it into your bag. 

"Thank you." You walked past him but he grabbed your arm and dragged you back.

“You can’t leave without giving me a kiss from those perfect lips.” He started to lean in and you let out a small sigh. You didn’t want him to get angry so you complied and pecked his lips. “Hey-.” You cut him off.

“Gotta go.” You left quickly before he could say or do anything, leaving him standing there in confusion. 

-

You came back home and unloaded everything, all by yourself. While Kai typed away on his computer, not even sparing you a glance. 

You’ve never been scared to talk to Kai because you always believed he was a good man with some issues. You reorganized the fridge and pantry and put all the food in its place. And as you did so you didn’t notice Kai start to walk up behind you. He peered over your shoulder and his chin dug into your shoulder. The slight pain and ticking made you tense up. 

“Why do you keep tensing? Relax doll.” 

“I-I can’t.” You didn’t turn around just kept pulling things from the bags. Kai chuckled and put both of his hands on either side of you and rested them on the counter, trapping you. 

“Come on, you’ve been acting weird and denied me your sweet perfect pussy this morning.” He cooed in your ear and reached down to grab your cunt through your leggings. You whimpered and grabbed his wrist. 

“Stop.” Once again, another rejection but this time Kai let out a low rumble. He flipped you around and shoved you into the counter.

“Why do you keep saying no?” He pushed himself flush against you and you stared up at him in fear. 

“I-I-.”

“SPEAK!”

“I SAW YOU HIT MEADOW!” You say and squeeze your eyes shut. “I went down there to talk to you about something, and I saw you smack her.” He stayed quiet and backed up.

“I thought I told you too never go down there.” 

“I know.”

“THEN WHY DID YOU!?” He swung his arm at you and you instantly cowered down and shielded your face. You didn’t see but Kai’s shoulders fell and he pulled his hair slightly.

“Please don’t.” You whimpered and suddenly there was a thud. You opened your eyes and searched for Kai but he wasn’t there, so you looked down. 

He was on his knees in front of you looking down. 

“Kai?” He looked up and raised himself on his knees. He grabbed your waist and pulled you close to him so he could bury his face into your stomach. 

“I'd never hurt you or the kids, you just saw me disciplining Meadow.” 

“Why?” Tears started to brim in your eyes. 

“She wasn’t being respectful of my time baby.” He grabbed your hands and kissed them. You swallowed bard and tears started falling. 

“What am I to you Kai? Your housewife, mother of your children, what?” Kai took in a deep breath and started to sit back and pulled you down gently with him. You were hesitating clearly.

“Shhh it’s okay, I won't hurt you.” You softly landed on the floor and he pulled you to straddle him. “You baby are my person, the person I can come home to and be vulnerable. And everyone knows I hate that. You’re my everything baby.” You let out a shuddering cry and Kai pressed your foreheads together. “I'm sorry I scared you.” 

You didn’t respond, just pushed yourself into his body. He kissed the side of your head before grabbing your hair and gently pulling your head back. There was a small moment of just staring into each other's eyes until Kai slammed his lips on yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he started to push you down to the floor. 

“Not on the floor.” You mumbled against his lips. 

“Yes on the floor.” He pulled away and buried his hands up your shirt. “I'm going to marry you, you’ll be officially the queen.” 

“Aren’t I already, your followers all fucking respect me.” You say and he pinches your skin making you gasp and buck your hips. 

“I love when you talk like that.” He started to take his shirt off and you stopped him by placing a hand over his chest.

“I forgive you, Kai.” You reached up and stoked his cheek. He turned his head and kissed the palm. You pushed your crotch against him to make his bulge rub your clothed clit slightly. 

“So needy.” You look back and looked at the clock on the stove from an upside-down angle.

“We’ll send Winter to get the kids.”

-

A/n- hope you guys liked this:) I'm thinking of writing a series of one-shots set in this fics storyline

[leclsrc]

wake up babe its # leclsrc3000 time... can we get a breathing deeply and bouncing legs for some wedding vibes w/ charlie (We being me and my 4 cats)

test run – cl16

Filled with nerves, Charles asks for advice on his vows.

auds here... i would love to see the cats <3 hope u like this!

“Okay.” Charles fiddles with his tie, blinks a few times, and takes a few nervous breaths. He’s confident in the words, but still his eyes find refuge on the tattered, folded-up script he’d spent the plane ride over reading and scribbling to perfection. “Okay, here goes. Don’t judge with the edits.”

“Do you remember when we first met—you made fun of my parking, and I bought you a coffee, and we stayed in the café until it closed at midnight? The coffee was shit, but I was full of energy all the same. If I told myself then I’d be marrying that girl, the parking bully who joined me in making fun of the coffee, I’d be shocked, yes. But I would also be happy. Everyday I get to be with you is shocking, because you’re the best person I know. But there are a few things you—and a lot of people in the crowd—don’t know about how we met.”

He gulps and reads over the lines for a bit. “For starters, I wouldn’t have parked outside that café if Lorenzo, my brother, did not pester me to get him a croissant at nine in the morning. And he wouldn’t have wanted the croissant if Pierre, my good friend, didn’t post a picture of a croissant the day before. And Pierre wouldn’t have posted that picture if he was not gifted a box of them by Lando. I could go on and on, but the sentiment stands, in a sort of soulmate roundabout way. I was destined to find you.

“It’s difficult for me to say the words I want to say, which is why my reception speech will be in Italian.But this doesn’t mean I don’t love you—in fact, I’m convinced it means the opposite. My love for you, however new it is in my life, can last me my next five lifetimes. I love our crazy days together, I love your coffee order, and I love that you still bully my parking. I love you, my dearest.”

He stares at the last two words, my dearest, which he’d written last minute. As he does, he realizes his knee’s bouncing with nerves and he has to manually stop it, lost in thought. It reminds him of all the nicknames he uses for the people he loves, unique and a bit silly, but it’s a trademark of who he is in the end. It reminds him of kisses and love and the proposal in late November. 

Two heavy inhales and exhales, then he looks up. Across him, in a bridesmaid’s dress holding a bouquet of lilies, you allow yourself to smile.

The stunning realization that you’ve loved much too late, that you’ve realized the gravity of your feelings on somebody else’s wedding day, hits you, a spear to the back. You turn slightly and face the window, watching the wedding prep on the lawn outside, trying with quiet desperation to blink your tears away. You hope he doesn’t ask too many questions, because you’re short of words; selfishly, all you really feel like saying is stay. It was a long time ago, being in love with him. But he let it go. It’s you who’s still tethered.

He comes up beside you. “Was it good?”

“Amazing. She’s going to love it.” In the pain and the haunting and the regret, you only wish you were lying.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Random stuff from Guardian Angel AU.

Angst bitch.

1: Nasty rumors Susan spread about Adam got to a point that one of his neighbors spitted on his face and called him a man crack whore when she saw him outside and near her kids. She also said she’ll call the police if she saw Adam near her kids again.

That was the final step into making Adam a full hermit.

2: Every parent tells their kid to stay away from “The weird man in 1A”, some even take it to a step further with saying he could hurt them. So, Adam is seen as a creepy criminal among kids. They run away from him if they ever see Adam at the halls.

3: Lucifer isn’t the only person who brought him food in Adam’s life. A nice lady named Rosie used to put food on his doorstep once every month when she noticed he barely got out and how terrible he looked. She worked with children, so she didn’t wanted to be seen with Adam much, but she also began visiting Adam once every six months, they had tea together and Adam felt like he saw a tiny light in his endless darkness.

But this only went on for two years. Rosie died because of a heart attack four years ago. She was the last person who lived in Lucifer’s apartment.

3: Charlie saved Angel and Vaggie. Angel from his addictions and Vaggie from self harm and suicide. I guess it’s in Morningstar’s genes to fall in love with a soul they saved :>

4: Adam played a song for Lucifer when he was still on Earth, which he gladly listened. It was the first time Adam had played his guitar for a long time.

And when Lucifer was forced to leave him, he played, sometimes even sang, the same song almost every night for two years. Because he missed him and it made him think of him.

Lucifer’s heart exploded while he was watching Adam do this from Heaven. He began listening it every night to sleep as well.

—

Hehe

Dude whhhhy 😭

Yeah getting spit in the face is not only fucking gross but an understandable reason for Adam to stay away. He ended up telling Lucifer about it but wouldn't tell him who.

And that would hurt especially with how the situation with his own kids went.

Awwww Rosie and Adam being friends I'm so soft for their friendship. Shame she died. That only served to isolate Adam more. Everyone leaves why bother making friends? No one likes me anyway so that was made easy.

I WAS GOING TO SEND AN ASK ABOUT ADAM WRITING LUCIFER A SONG!!!!

Yeah, the Morningstars definitely have a type as well ;)

Ahhh sweet angst.

What if Lucifer had to look up his onlyfans page? You know, to see what he was working with and how deep Adam is in this world. He sees all the photos and videos. Spoiler he's in deep.

Adam has thousands of subscribers. And hundreds of posts. It's surprising he would do this line of work because of his past. But maybe, it was Velvette who told him "You're gorgeous, why not make a profit off your looks? Here I have a website you can use."

Adam tries it and when he sees how many people want him and shower him in praise and compliment him and tell him how wonderful he is.

Just another addiction on the pile. Only this one makes money and he hates himself afterwards.

Bonus points if someone in the building is subscribed and wanted more face to face time. Even if it doesn't go THAT far they make sexual comments at him any time they see him. (A man most likely)

And that was another thing to keep Adam in his house. The money is great but he hates that it comes from this and it's a never ending cycle.

[icee133]

This is part 5 of the Marionette Fic. Honestly I truly enjoyed writing this part probably the most so far. It made me laugh. Maybe stupidly so but still. Though there is a bit of a time skip. Some memory flashbacks fill in some of that time. Let me know what you think! Sorry for any writing errors 🤍🤍

If you would like to be added to taglist let me know!

The Marionette

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5🤍

Word count for this part: 1860. Enjoy!👻👻

Synapsis:

A new overlord has manifested in hell seemingly overnight. One that overpowered many if not all of the current overlords in all the right ways. Will this overlord use her powers for good to help the members of the hotel? Will she fall in love with a man and end up in a loving gentle relationship? Or will she get her heart broken and turn against them all, burning each bridge she meticulously made. 

The Marionette is a heart wrenching fic with many turns you won't see coming. Stay tuned for each of the episodes as they are released.

¯⁠\⁠_⁠ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ⁠_⁠/⁠¯¯⁠\⁠_⁠ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ⁠_⁠/⁠¯¯⁠\⁠_⁠ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ⁠_⁠/⁠¯¯⁠\⁠_⁠ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ⁠_⁠/⁠¯¯⁠\⁠_⁠ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Now Nette would be lying if she said the thought of speaking with the radio demon didn’t ignite some kind of fight or flight in her chest. After all this is the guy who graciously wiped a few overlords of this plain of existence. However, Nette couldn’t help but also feel intrigued by the man.

Stepping into the kitchen she saw him standing, cane in hand, leaning against the kitchen island. Looking rather annoyed yet calm, despite the unsettling smile planted on his face like a tattoo. “Was there an issue Alastor?” “Of course not my dear, just wanted to meet you formally as I feel we didn’t get to do proper introductions earlier.” He said with a bite behind his smile. “Of course, well I’m called the marionette, but just Nette is fine for the time being.” “I do believe we’ve passed that point of introductions, I mean about yourself” Nette looked at him puzzled before saying “I’m afraid I don’t understand” Alastor's smile grew wider and his eyes glowed a bit more red “I suppose I’ll skip straight to the point then my dear, well I say you seem a bit out of place down here, almost as if you are in the wrong place.” “Perhaps that’s how you may see it, but I could say the same about you. Things aren’t always what they may seem to be.” “That is true, well I do hope we get along during the time you’ll be staying at the hotel little doe.” He said then disappeared into the shadows. Nette took a deep breath before walking slowly back into the main room ready to start discussing what all would be needed to move into the hotel without issue.

🩵🩵 Time Skip 🩵🩵

It had now been a few months since Nette and her 3 boys moved into the hotel. They were given room at the end of the hallway to keep them all together. Each of the boys had decorated their rooms- very excited to have their own rooms- and had unboxed just about everything they had brought with them. Unfortunately due to the circumstances at hand some items had to be left behind, though not without careful consideration (and a lot of bribery) at that. Nette had also set up her room, having the biggest room on the floor definitely came with its pros though. Like a bigger shower in her own room allowing for her to not have to use the giant communal shower -unless she wanted to of course- and make it easier for her to store her products in there as well. 

Each of the boys had formed good relations with the members of the hotel. Despite continuing to bump heads with a certain red-haired overlord they seemed to fit in quite well, and they also started helping Charlie with ideas in the redeeming department. Though asking them might not always have been the best choice as their ideas were sometimes…well a bit over the top. Not to mention sometimes dangerous as well. Nette had settled in as well. Getting closer to Charlie and Vaggie, and going out with Angel and Cherri on occasion (Though it took quite a bit of time, and maybe a few drunken nights of karaoke she’d rather forget) To make any of it happen. Charlie had asked her for help with recruiting new sinners for the hotel and they had managed to drag in a few intricate ones (horny dumbass idiot ones as Kai would call them) who didn’t seem to really know what the hotel was about and thought it was a hookup bar and dropped their pants when they saw Angel. That went over swell (sarcasm) as Charlie covered her eyes and reminded them what the hotel was and had a few of them quickly pull their pants up and run out. On a separate occasion the hotel had thrown a welcome party for new sinners (surprisingly Vaggie’s idea) but that ended on a rather terrible note with some sinners thinking it was an ‘all you can fuck” kind of party once they saw Angel (seriously what was it with these people). Yeah that didn’t go well at all, they thought Nette was a new one of Val’s toys. Haha they almost died. Literally. She was not happy as one of the dumbasses tore her dress. Cue an embarrassing moment as Lucifer himself gave her his coat to cover the tear as Alastor’s weird shadow tentacle things threw the guy out. Ha what a great night. (sarcasm again -_- Though her boys thought it was hilarious as they hadn’t seen her face that red before). Of course Angel wouldn’t let her live that night down at all. She was so flustered at not only Lucifer jumping in to cover her, but also how easily that asshole tore her dress. With her standing there, looking right at him. The fucking nerve. She definitely slapped the shit out of him before Alastor threw him out though. Good memory- well that part at least. Lucifer also took her dress to a tailor for her - I know what a gentleman- and had them fix it as though it never happened. Anyway it’s been an eventful few months - good and bad, but hey it’s a part of life… well afterlife anyway. She felt that she had grown closer to them and truly felt that she could trust them. Each of their relationships taking on new territory. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Nette was snapped out of her day dreaming of memories while scrolling through her phone by Angel shouting and snapping in front of her “damn toots been callin ya for awhile now what’s got ya all mushy headed?” “Nothing much just thinking what’s up?” “Charlie wants us to do another trust exercise but I don’t know bout this one” Angel seemed a little weary about what was asked of them. “Why? What is the exercise about?” The look on his face had Nette a bit worried about what he was going to say. “Dirty secrets apparently, admitting things we did to ‘relieve some held up regret’ as Charlie put it” “ah yeah no I’m gonna sit this one out” “nope if I gotta do it you gotta do it too toots so cmon we don’t have all day get in ere” “fine alright geez”. Nette and Angel walked into the parlor area where a small stage had been set up. Looking around Nette saw only her, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel, Cherri, husk, and Lucifer. Wait…Lucifer. Why was he here? Well it was his daughter's hotel. Think rationally Nette duh obviously. Nette snapped her head back to the stage as she heard Charlie begin talking “thank you all for coming today. I wanted to do this exercise with you guys as I feel it’s a good way for us to get a bit closer with one another. I want us to talk about something we've been holding a lot of guilt over, so that maybe speaking it out loud can help us let go of it even if just a little.” “Alright, who wants to go first?” Vaggie said expectantly. Yeah no not me. I’m not saying shit. Negative uh uh. No ma’am. Nette thought to herself. Dirty secrets my ass this is straight up admitting something we did that we thought was bad, is this a roundabout way of asking us what our sin was that caused us to end up down here? “Nette how about you go first” Cherri said snickering. “Haha Cherri no thanks” she quickly declined. “I think that’s a great idea!” Charlie seemed overjoyed at the idea of the overlord participating. Nette couldn’t help but feel pressured. Something she regrets. Well there was a lot she didn’t want to tell them. A lot they shouldn’t know. Things that would possibly ruin the way they saw her. She didn't know what to think. It had been awhile before she had tried to remember anything that brought her guilt. The memories of such things she pushed down as deep as they could go. Placing large walls and barricades around it to hide it from not only those around her but also herself. But the look on Charlie's face, one of hope and happiness drove her to want to free this guilt even if only for a moment. “FINE” she said before walking toward the stage. “Don’t expect any mushy shit” she said walking up the stairs.”Of course not, just something you regret” Charlie was smiling at the overlord. “Something I regret…” she paused thinking to herself. “I regret… honestly I don’t know" “it’s okay to think about it for a bit” Angel said.

 Nette paused thinking to herself, slowly she looked up, unironically making eye contact with Lucifer who held a look on his face she couldn't read, then she quickly looked back down before deciding it’s better to be honest then hold onto it. She felt that she could trust them, and that if anyone was going to be judgemental about this kind of thing she most likely wouldn’t find that person in this group. “maybe…” she paused, taking a deep breath before continuing “thinking so little of a person I cared about, watching them wander aimlessly trying to be what they were told to. Trying to prove themselves to… him. The whole time knowing I had the power to move everything in the right direction. Knowing that I could have helped them if I had only cared- or hell… even tried. If I had only been there when they needed me most I could have done something. But instead I turned away from them. Told them to worry about themselves and not me, that they had no right to even worry about me considering who they were. What they were. Them telling me I was headed in the wrong direction, and me yelling back… telling them I couldn’t do that. Then dying in their arms with their last words being ‘I was right’ definitely sealed the deal. Or I guess sealed my fate is a better way to put it. I think my deepest regret lies in me letting so many…people down. Letting them see me fail at the only thing I was supposed to do. Failing at the one thing I was made for. I don’t think that regret will ever leave me and I’d even go as far as to say I deserve it.” Nette hadn’t realized she closed her eyes completely, or that she had let a few tears fall. In saying it all she hadn’t realized the group moved towards her. Or that Angel and Cherri were hugging her. She tried to take a breath but found it getting caught in her throat. This was something she had held onto for far longer than anyone could imagine. Letting it out felt nice but she knew it wouldn’t make the pain of this regret go away. The heavy feeling that weighed on her heart knowing, remembering, seeing the pain in their faces. The hurt in their voices when all was said and done. Was something she would never forget. Never.

Taglist:

@popamolly @preciousbabypeter

[blue-gem-overlord]

Hello, you sinners of Tumblr(or whatever this app is).

My name isn’t important, but I’m known as Jewel for the meantime. Use she/her and they/them pronouns so BE respectful or you’ll end up like those FOOLS

(Translate: Hello, you sinners of Tumblr(or whatever this app is). My name isn’t important, but I’m known as Jewel for the meantime. Use she/her and they/them pronouns so BE respectful or you’ll end up like those FOOLS)

My Princ-Charlie Morningstar(taking over her account for a while) - @charlie-morningstar666

Her stupid ass father, king of hell - @king--of--ducks

(Ooc:They’re part of the lore and yes I asked their permission-)

The ROTTEN Princess stealer/Charlie’s Angel pet - @the-moth-ex-angel

My Helper in Secret - @striker-bootleg-william-afton

Creepy Duck Sinner - @ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer

Some Skeleton Bitch - @dustsansm1

(Ooc:This character is mine and everyone else in this belong to Vizie. This is just for fun and drama. The art at the top belong to me. This character is cruel and mean so get ready for some mean response, but remember it’s JUST the character. I don’t intend to harm or hurt anyone at all. Also same mod who plays Charlie and Vaggie-)

(This is what Jewel look like and a few things about her-if you WANT to redesign them. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF DUCKS!! Ask permission first and then credit me(by tagging me). Don’t be jerks)

(Fanart made by @sockmanduckman . It’s so beautiful I wanna cry-)

(Another beautiful art, but this time by @lilith--morningst4r . It’s too goddamn beautiful)

(Another amazing art from @vox-tv-demon mod. Y’all making me cry)

Lore

Chapter 1

Part 1 - The Phone Call(rp with @king--of--ducks )

Part 2 - The Holy Weapon(Rp with @striker-bootleg-william-afton and yes, I asked their permission )

Part 3 -The Warning(rp with @dustsansm1 and yes I asked their permission)

Part 4 - The Meet-Up(rp with @striker-bootleg-william-afton )

Part 5 - The Reunion(rp by myself-it’s lonely and weird, but the show must go on)

Part 6 -Triggers(rp with @ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer )

Part 7 - A little Chat (rp by myself-yay)

Part 8 -Suspicious(Rp with @dustsansm1 )

Part 9 -Meeting an Ex’s father(rp with @king--of--ducks and MAN-it got angst)

Part 10 - More Than Anything(rp with @king--of--ducks )

Rest of chapter 1 is in @the-exes-lore ‘s pin post

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils

More of a ramble than anything speculative like the previous posts, just gonna blabber muppet-style about something I like from this show : the Foils between the Good/Ambiguously Good Guys (I mean, Alastor's there, right ?) and the Bad/Opposite Side Guys.

If you have time to kill, fancy yourself the read (<- not even sure that's proper English, and it's my third language anyway. Let's hack it up some more, shall we).

(Foils 2 here)

(Foils 3 here)

(Foils 4 here)

Masterpost here.

I mean the main thing that made my brain go "ding !" like a microwave and scratched it just right like my cat kneading my back when I'm too lazy to stand up and give her food right away, is the parallel between main couple Charlie & Vaggie (they're so sweet together) and villain couple Valentino & Vox (they're horrible people that are hilarious together).

Both have one of them at the head of their 'organisation' (Charlie is the founder of the Hazbin Hotel, Vox is the CEO of Voxtech and the TV tycoon in Pride), composed of one bi character (Charlie and Vox) and one Hispanic character (Vaggie and Valentino - and respectively they're lesbian and pan if you wanna know), yet Charlie & Vaggie are in a mutually supportive, kind, very encouraging, healthy, stable, devoted and genuinely loving relationship, and if they have fallouts (see Episode 7), deal with it in a mature and upstanding way. Vox & Val on the other side are mutually manipulative (see Episode 2), on-and-off together-but-not-dating (nothing wrong with that in itself, it's just how it's the opposite of Charlie & Vaggie), freewheeling, chaotic and co-dependent relationship (as Vees : Vox provides the medium of TV, Val provides the content), even if, for now, it appears to be somewhat functional, if unhealthy - they are less about fallouts and more dealing with the other's tantrums (Vox keeps Val in line, then does a 180 about Alastor as Val riles him up).

They're both same-sex couples but the first are a healthy couple because they mutually love each other and encourage the best qualities they have, always being there for the other, while the second are an unhealthy couple because they based it on power, and being together because they're mutually attracted to their worst qualities : they're a couple AS the worst people, while Charlie & Vaggie are two of the nicest people in Hell. Funnily enough, Val seems pretty open about Vox' past crush/unfading obsession on Alastor and Vox doesn't seem to mind Val's (horrible) obsession with Angel that much, while Vaggie easily gets jealous when another girl is (what she thinks) too affectionate with Charlie : see her reaction to Emily holding Charlie's hand in Ep 6.

Also, both Vox and Vaggie have to deal with an easily overwhelmed-by-their-feelings partner with a penchant for childishness and drama while being the (usually) more cool-headed and rational one (I mean, Charlie does her plans in crayons for hell's sake), but while Valentino is a psychopathic manchild with very little impulse control when angry, that needs to get his head screwed on straight and hurting people to come down from his tantrum, with Vox' babysitting (before he blows his top in the same way), Charlie has that side to her because she actively doesn't want to harm people, as well as being empathetic and a bit naive, along with her usual musical theatrics - it puts her at odds with the rest of Hell, who for the most part are raging jackasses indulging in their worst behaviors. But just like Valentino, if she focuses on what's urgent or important (and is willing to go that far), she can be quite dangerous and capable (Ep 8) - ironically, in a physical fight, while Val shows perfectly capable of using his mental capacities to manipulate and pressure both Angel and Charlie into making her leave (alongside the heavy beating on Angel, but he actually avoids the confrontation with the Princess of Hell - way more powerful than he is - that way).

Vox and Vaggie also have quite the temper underneath the rationality : Vaggie when loosing her nerve with the Hotel residents' idiocy, Vox when hearing the first wink about Alastor. Vaggie and Val may be the more readily violent (in completely different ways, because, I mean, Valentino) while Charlie and Vox the ones to plan things out (Hotel group activities and redemption VS getting Pentious to spy for the Vees), with material and budget back-up for each (Princess of Hell VS CEO), so there's kind of a square crossing between the two teams : they each share personality traits (in WIDELY different ways though) with the two others on the opposite side.

Valentino & Vox is also a foil for Angel & Husk (whether these latter two stay friends or become more remains to be seen, but as things are for now, I'm telling it how it currently is and will call them friends) : both Val and Husk are pansexual, but one follows the stereotype and jumps on anyone (Val), while the other doesn't wear his sexuality on his sleeve, is respectful with others' boundaries and has a clear, justified limit on his (see Ep 4). Valentino's horrible abuse of Angel becomes even more gut-wrenching when it shows (for now, and if the Instagrams are loosely canon by now) that he's perfectly capable of having a functional (if mutually manipulative and unhealthy) relationship with Vox - meaning he's chosing to hurt Angel and be a sadistic bastard.

Angel does a (very toned-down) certain version of sexual harrasment (constantly hitting on Husk, invading his personal space, H24 innuendos towards him, etc) just like Valentino, to try to get what he wants - but Husk sees it as the unhealthy mechanism it is to mask his pain, coping with the abuse, and calls him out on it. While Angel is naturally promiscuitous, he stops his tryharding, coke-myself-out-of-consciousness ways, and stands up to his rapist - all of that supported by Husk, while Vox doesn't lift a finger to stop Val until it Harms The Image, and even offers his lowest-earners so that his squeaky moth asshat of a boyfriend can shoot someone. Angel detaches himself from the Valentino-shaped shadow that looms over him, and Husk, an ex-Overlord dealing in souls and gambling, having them under his control, is the better version of Vox, who watches and controls everything he can.

Last but not least, Sera is a foil to Carmilla (and obviously, Lucifer, but I might do that one in another post). They're both mom-like figures (if not outright moms, like Carmilla is to her daughters) that are greatly motivated by protecting those under their charge (Winner souls and Emily VS Sinner souls and Odette, Clara, and even Zestial if that line in Whatever It Takes is to be taken at face value - though Carmilla means it at the very least as a close friend). Sera is willing to lie to her daughter (sister ?) figure Emily to keep her happy and out of the loop, regretting allowing the Exterminations to happen, and refusing to question the system for fear of retribution (like what happened to Lucifer), on her or her wards. When called out on her behavior and for help, she refuses to lend a hand and upholds the status quo, even if she's trying to be compassionate and doesn't agree with the sheer pettiness that motivates Adam and Lute.

Carmilla on her side outright broke the rules (on accident - she wasn't expecting for it to work), killing the unkillable in self-defense for her daughters. When asked about in Ep 3, she tries to deny it, both out of fear of a suicidal uprising, and just like Sera, retribution for her own family (plus the Sinner souls), yet after a little push from Zestial, she semi-confides in him (VS Sera who didn't brought Emily into the loop), and when Vaggie confronts her about it in Ep 7, she stealthily gives her what is needed to break the status quo : tactics on how to fight, and weapons. In fact, Carmilla's help from the shadows, while she didn't participate in the fight herself, proved to be instrumental in flipping the scales towards victory. She, a demon, was reluctant too, but she did help despite not knowing all the stakes, unlike Sera, an angel.

And this is what I love about that part of the show : it shows us a spectrum. People being people. To each more stereotyped character, there's a non-assuming counterpart. To each character with a specific trait on the bad side, there's one with the same trait on the good side. And that trait isn't their whole personality either.

Just that : people being people.

(Welp, that's the second post in a day, got enough socializing for the rest of the week. I'm gonna crawl back into my cave.)

Again, Masterpost here.

[fexalted]

watching tos for the first time since like, roughly 2012/13-ish? i don't remember what year it was, or why i only got thru most of season 1 before stopping

it's been fun to refresh my swiss cheesed memory with this tho so here's a semi-liveblog of the first 10 eps that i watched over the past couple weeks

1x01 - the man trap

things i remembered beforehand:

salt monster

"plum" uwu

that gay little run and crawl jim does when he's taking cover (it fills me with such delight)

things i did not remember:

how many people died, good god man it's only the first episode

1x02 - charlie x

things i remembered:

jim's bright red exercise pants

that stupid fucking face charlie makes when he uses his powers

not liking this ep at all when i first watched it, possibly due to me being around the same age as charlie at the time

additional thoughts: i enjoyed it more this time and felt more sympathetic for charlie. poor kid needed some parents, and also, like, a hug

1x03 - where no man has gone before

things i remembered:

bones isn't in it :'( (bored) (sad) (missing my bestie)

"James R Kirk"

that post i saw on here recently about how their contacts were made of glass

the only thing i could think about while watching:

their contacts

were made

of GLASS

(yes i understand this was how contacts were made back then. still freaked out by the concept of people putting glass in their eyes on purpose)

1x04 - the naked time

things i remembered:

sweat disease

sulu fencing

oh kathleen

"ONE-MORE-TIME!!"

"love mankind"

spock breakdown (extremely uncomfortable to watch)

bones casually ripping jim's shirt sleeve to jab him in the arm (extremely hilarious every time i think about it)

did not remember:

anything about them almost crashing into a planet lol

jim's little monologue when he gets infected (lmao)

time warp???

additional thoughts: hey remember when they reused this plot in tng and tasha and data fucked (<- literally the only thing i can remember about it) ((edit from future fex: i rewatched that ep. it was wild. tos did it better tho))

1x05 - the enemy within

things i remembered:

unicorn dog :)

evil kirk and poor little meow meow kirk

"I'M CAPTAIN KIRK!!!"

things not remembered:

dog dies :(

evil kirk's killer eyeliner

additional thoughts: say what you will about shatner / his acting but this ep is Peak shatner performance and a lot of fun to watch. he put his whole pussy into it, as the kids say these days

1x06 - mudd's women

things remembered:

could not forget harry mudd if i tried

the women are color coded like the powerpuff girls lol

they're also like, on some kind of drug that keeps them looking young or something

cool costumes tho

i don't have much to say about this one lol, harry's a fun character but the rest of the ep wasn't super interesting to me. did finally learn how to pronounce "ophiuchus" tho so i'll thank it for that

1x07 - what are little girls made of

things remembered:

is this the penis rock episode (it is)

uhhh i think kirk gets put into some kind of spinny machine that makes androids (he does)

more cool costumes (debatable)

things i find funny:

the number of planets we've encountered so far that are populated by like. 2-4 people

the way ruk (the big guy) just picks up and throws kirk like he weighs nothing

so much buildup with kirk and the penis rock and he doesn't even get to hit ruk over the head with it smh

also not a funny moment but i liked the way kirk was able to get a message to spock thru the android kirk, v clever

wait i just realized bones wasn't in this ep either. deducting 1/4 of a star from my mental rating bc i missed him (but apparently not that much)

1x08 - miri

remembered:

planet of children (bc everyone else died of terminal puberty)

"no blah blah blah!"

bones tests his newly discovered, untested cure on himself, in true mad scientist fashion (also spones moment <3)

saw this ep on a "what's your fave 'bad' episode" poll here recently and i can't remember if i thought it was good or bad when i first watched it lol

forgot:

another earth?? there's just a second, identical earth floating around out there?? and (of course) they don't mention it at all for the rest of the episode

300 year old children

oh these kids are so much more annoying than i remembered, however i may just be biased bc i don't like kids shfkshfk

1x09 - dagger of the mind

remember:

absolutely nothing! oh boy!

thoughts:

wow this ep is fucked up!

okay actually i don't think i've seen this one at all before?

usually there'll be moments that jog my memory but the only thing even slightly familiar to me was kirk going "helen don't go!" while in the neutralizer chair, but i could've just seen a clip/gif of it before

i remember skipping episodes in season 1 (i was impatient and wanted to get to city on the edge of forever) but i thought i'd at least made it to halfway thru the season before skipping any

anyway did i mention this ep is fucked up? (star trek really does love to drop an absolutely haunting 50 minutes of television on you and then never address it again, i understand this now. roll credits!)

1x10 - the corbomite maneuver

remember:

uhh

there's a thing out there

it's in the way

preventing them from boldly going, even

looks like an old windows screensaver

i might've skipped this ep too now that i think about it

thoughts:

cute mckirk moment in sickbay :3

i love that this cube has its own theme music whenever its on screen

oh shit it's the sequel to cube: orb

jesus christ that's a big orb

man they really said "okay we've got 3 music tracks and we're gonna get our money's worth out of them"

i gotta say this ep slaps tbh—WAIT HE'S A BABY???

LITTLE BABY MAN

LMAOOOOO

honestly great episode tho i'll stand by that

[danganronpa96]

Why didn't Ayano kill Chapter 4, since well….Senpai is her motive and well, I think she'd figure out pretty quickly that it's Senpai without having to see it?

What if there was a triple kill Chapter 5? Like dynamics wise and the trial itself? (DR69)

How would Yoshi likely react to the death of Mario, assuming Mario had Yoshi had a pet and all that?

Would the idea that after the explosion, the little killing game in the church would actually somehow continue but turn into a full blown killing game in the city?

How would the participants had reacted if Yuri had committed a murder?

Also, the Smiling Friends artstyle you managed to a T. It's really good and Pim looks so cute in it.

What if the entire cast was just Yuri cloned 16 times. What if Kaidou and Yuri have survived? How do pets work in a world of anthropomorphic animals? How did the participants not freak out that there were two anthropomorphic animals? Why do I have so many questions?

Anyways um, York again, loved Chapter 4. Sorry for the horde of questions again.

Hello 101 questions /lh

1. This one is pretty obvious. Ayano made a promise to Luigi in chapter 3 she would try her hardest to get the trust of others and help them out. She even showcased this during the chapter 3 trial when she was being falsely accused with her secret exposed. Ayano went onto be distrusted regardless, but remained determined to keep herself in line. She knew her Senpai would be the focus of any motive featuring loved ones, but that wouldn’t stop her from her promise. After all, trying to kill a situation like this always pertained the possibility of herself dying, and in that scenario she would not be able to protect her Senpai at all.

2. I don’t know, it depends who would die. I could see Parappa getting involved somehow, but not anyone else (unless Ayano decided to go to the 5th floor too). So it’d either be Fluttershy/Parappa/Ayano or Fluttershy/Parappa/Brian. I think the trial would become more complex, but also since three bodies would leave three times as many clues behind… it could go either way.

3. The Yoshi would be very sad, but I’m sure Luigi would go onto adopt it for Mario.

4. Not really. That wasn’t what I was going for in the story. The whole ‘new killing game’ was just meant to be a cop out to a) introduce Matt into the gang and b) introduce Gumi and how I wanted to portray her character. But it does sound interesting regardless.

5. The majority of them wouldn’t be surprised. Natsuki would feel upset and betrayed Yuri went the full way with it. Although, I’m not sure she would consider it as most people would suspect her in a trial (unless this was before she revealed her philosophy).

6. Thank you!! I think I can draw Charlie a bit better than Pim but I’m happy to hear you liked how I drew him too ^^

7. a) The Yuri’s would be very freaked out. One would snap first but you can’t ask me to identify who because, you know, they all look the same.

b) Kaidou may do a similar thing I described in this post (and by that I just mean from the 3rd paragraph about the bandages and down, as a sign of maturing). Yuri on the other hand would become like a typical DR antagonist, who’d have some moments in the trials but ultimately tries to skew things in the wrong direction in order to help let the killer win.

c) You ask the Bojack Horseman universe the same thing because I have no idea. Or maybe ask the MLP universe because it works with Fluttershy. I guess it depends on the theme of animals (if they’re all different animals then no pets).

d) Well Hayasaka and Kurumada did get a bit concerned at Retsuko at first, but just went along to accept it come meeting Bojack (slightly) because they all woke up on an island with no recollection why at this point they could start levitating and assume it’s all one big group hallucination or social experiment.

e) man I don’t know holmes you tell me

Hello again! I’m happy to hear you enjoyed ch4!! And thanks for the assortment of questions lol

[nayeonline]

SPACE.COWBOY (my imagined ITZY comeback)

I’ve made a couple posts about JYP’s shitty management of ITZY, so I decided to do a little thought experiment in what direction I would take ITZY’s discography and aesthetics.

I decided to give them a full album because it’s 2023 and no one should be releasing mini albums this late in their career (this goes for everyone, not just itzy). The album, which I have entitled ‘SPACE.COWBOY’, has 10 tracks, including 1 English pre-release single, 1 Korean title track, two promoted b-sides, and six more b-sides.

For the concept, I decided to draw inspiration from the aesthetics of ‘Cowboy Bebop’ which I referenced in the album name. I really wanted a space aesthetic for ITZY, but I didn’t want it to be just aespa part 2, so I decided a 90s space Faye Valentine aesthetic was the move. Also, ginger Yeji, pink hair Chaeryeong, blonde Yuna, black hair Ryujin and Lia is a must :)

Anyway, into the tracklist!!!

(1) LOG-IN [Fifty Fifty]

When I first heard this song a couple years back, I was struck by how ITZY it sounded. I love it as an album opener, and I think ITZY would body a choreography to it.

(2) YEPPI YEPPI [aespa] (TITLE TRACK)

Same goes for this song, I think it sounds SO ITZY, it’s very evocative of their Dalla Dalla - Icy era, which is exactly the sound I want to hear from them again. This song is so timeless, so fun, and such a perfect ITZY title track.

(3) 3.14159 [Lexie Liu] (English Pre-Release)

I fucking love Lexie Liu, and this song is one of my favourites from her. It’s very whimsical, very psychedelic, and very high energy, which is exactly what ITZY does best. This song has the creativity their last few singles have been lacking. I think Yuna especially would OWN this track.

(4) YALLA [WJSN] (Promoted B-Side)

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS SONG SOONER?! I imagine Chaeryeong being the centre for this song, she has the perfect energy for it. I can definitely see this song going viral on K-Pop TikTok, I love it as a promoted B-Side.

(5) Cast Pearls Before Swine [Purple Kiss]

This is quintessential ITZY. I can see Lia performing this song so clearly, and I think it thematically references their debut self love concept just the right amount. I just really love this song ok, go stream it.

(6) MAGICIAN [Lexie Liu] (Promoted B-Side)

Can you tell I love Lexie Liu yet? This one has a chorus along similar lines to YALLA, and it's so addictive. This is another Yuna type song for me, but I also think Ryujin would be such a stand out on this. I don’t see it being in Mandarin for ITZY, but the hook is mostly onomatopoeia so I don’t think a language change would ruin it at all.

(7) The Great Mermaid [LE SSERAFIM]

I admit, I didn’t see the vision for this song when it first came out, but OH MY GOD do I get it now. I can definitely see this one for ITZY, especially that killer post chorus.

(8) YUCK [Charli XCX]

Charli XCX and ITZY are such a good mix, I couldn’t help giving them one of her most underrated pop anthems. This one has Ryujin written all over it

(9) LUCID [Rina Sawayama] (Promoted B-Side)

Did you really think I wasn’t going to include a Rina song? And this one especially is fucking amazing. Realistically I know the lyrics would be different for a K-Pop release, but just the UK dance-pop vibes alone are so fun. Somi did it with Fast-Forward, and as a Brit it's so funny to see idols release stuff that wouldn’t be out of place on the radio here. Yeji would eat this song up, but IMAGINE THE CHOREOGRAPHY.

(10) LOG-OUT [4s4ki]

Other than the obvious nice parallels with the album intro title, I think this song is such a fun album closer for ITZY. I hate that groups like ITZY consistently release ballads as their album closer, like they have no business singing in a bpm that slow. Obviously I don’t think they would sing in Japanese, but the pure chaos of this track would be such a fun experiment for them. (This one was for u @shyreol)

@a-moth-to-the-light im so interested to see ur thoughts on my made up album, and for ur one if u end up doing it :)

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Hazbin Top 5

I was going to make a top 10 character list, but realized after the first 5 I didn't know where to place anyone- But in case you're curious, some contenders for the remaining 6-10, in no specific order, were Angel Dust, Charlie, Emily, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. Now here's my top 5 with reasonings and appreciation for them all!

5. Lucifer

Obviously bro is relatable, not only for his awkwardness and hyperfixations, but he also happens to be the same height as I am at about 5'2" (according to the sources I've seen). Being the same height as Lucifer is my biggest flex lmao- I still have no idea why his hatred of Alastor seemed so instant. Like yeah, Alastor was trying to annoy him by being a better dad to Charlie, but the whole 'fuck you' moment happened before any of that started. Did he just sense the bad vibes off of him or what? Anyway, his awkwardness and desperation to connect with his daughter make for probably my favorite lines of the episode, such as the "Hey bitch!" and the whole "You like girls? So do I!" situation followed by him being so distracted he called Vaggie by the wrong name. Perfect comedy

4. Lute

I love her an insane amount for someone who shows up so relatively little with so few lines, but here we are. I've already made an entire post about her, here it is if you want it, so I'll keep this short (Spoiler alert: I failed). I actually don't think I mentioned just how attractive this woman is, so let's get that out there right now. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, about half the people I've seen react to Episode 6 have seen Lute without her mask, took a pause of recognition, and we all knew what they were thinking before the pressed play. Istg my taste in women (and sometimes even men, thanks Vox) is just "Can they murder me without a second thought? Yes? That's hot". My favorite line of hers is when she's hyping up the army with Adam and says "Rip Vaggie's cunt mouth out her ass!" and even Adam has to be like "damn girl chill what the hell-" She's so feral I love her so much

3. Rosie

Everyone needs a Rosie in their lives. I don't just mean a regular therapist, I mean a person in your life, friend or family member, who will talk you out of your downward spiral and gently call you out on why those paranoid thoughts are actually pretty unrealistic (the other side of the same coin would be Husk, he's just more blunt about it). I'm also still completely convinced she has some interesting and sad backstory based on how she was talking to Charlie and I need to know about it so bad. "It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love" Ma'am what did you do? I find it hard to believe it's just about the cannibalism. I don't know if in this instance, she's the one who hurt someone or someone else hurt her and she was the one who failed to forgive them, but either way I need answers.

2. Vox

Y'all know I love this man in more ways than one, he one the hottest Hazbin character poll for a reason. But I swear everything about this man makes me love him as a character more. First, I always love a technology based character, his electricity powers and literal screen head are the coolest thing in the world to me. He's voiced by Christian Borle, which was a fantastic choice, along with the glitched effect his voice gets when he's mad, I love to see it. Apparently it's also canon he can fly (with rocket shoes)?? He just keeps getting the best character design choices possible, this can't possibly be fair- The fact his first introduction was being done with Val, telling him to call tf down, and treating him like a child ("Now that's why they pay you the big bucks!") was a pretty good first impression for me lol, made even funnier when it was followed by him losing all sense of rationalism when Alastor entered his line of sight.

1. Alastor

The character my blog is named after, this should not be a surprise. Shockingly enough, despite my obsession for him and acknowledgement of his charming nature and generally attractive design, I' do not simp for him in the slightest'm not personally attracted to him in the slightest. I simp for a TV and yet apparently deer man with permanent smile is where I draw the line idk- The most I want from him is to be as good of a friend to him as Rosie is (well that and to touch his ears but that's a given). But this is another character I love literally everything about. Who would've thought the concepts of 'radio host', 'serial killer', and 'literal deer' would work so well together to create this dapper yet terrifying fucking cryptid. Not only can he be either incredibly scary or a silly guy, he can and has done both at once. Example: Episode 3 when he's just casually eating a deer carcass in his room (in which he summoned a whole ass bayou). I was genuinely so glad when the 'this face was made for radio' thing happened in episode 1, confirming that they were still gonna lean into his creepy-as-fuck distortion and general vibe he had in the pilot. He's horrifying and evil and I love that about him. Meanwhile he also says shit like "Now he's pissy, that's the tea" (definitely taught to him by Rosie) and kicks his legs on the bed like a schoolgirl as if he hasn't committed countless atrocities. My favorite character, everyone-

Wow I wrote more than I meant to for this, sorry about the essay-