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milimeters-morales · 7 months ago

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part two of that autistic miles oneshot under the readmore! All warnings and pairings still apply ^_^

Word Count: 6k+

Miles loves animals. That’s a known fact. Spider-Man also loves animals. This is a slightly less known fact, but still known by a good amount of people.

“Thank you so much, Spider-Man,” a parent tells him as he cradles two kittens he rescued from getting ran over by traffic, “I don’t even know how they escaped-”

The kittens meow, finally giving Miles a good reason to look down. The people’s gazes are very heartwarming in a sense, but it was too much emotion for Miles. The parent keeps talking, the child reaching out for the kittens that Miles refuses to hand over until he has to.

Miles smiles warmly, lenses squinting in delight as one kitten tries to paw at his chin. How cute!

If these kittens were his, he’d name them Coffee and Cocoa. They’re very pretty as well, with spiky brown coats, one of them with faint tabby markings on the legs, and with the most vibrant green eyes he’s ever seen on an animal. They would fit in the palm of his hands if they were curled up, and their pink little bell collars only add to the cuteness.

“-and we’ll put up a baby gate for them, I promise. Now, what do you say, honey?” Miles catches the last part of the parent’s sentence as they place a hand on the kid’s shoulder.

“Thank you Mr. Spider-Man,” the kid tells him with all the intensity and sincerity only toddlers could manage while covered in syrup and dressed in pajamas, and goes to reach for the kittens again.

The kittens meow loudly as the parent swoops in before the sticky hands can touch their delicate fur, and Miles…

Okay, don’t tell anybody this. Not even Ganke. Actually, especially not Ganke. It’s a bit embarrassing, and he really doesn’t want this to be a running joke the other boy brings up when they’re supposed to be focusing in class, and end up getting them in trouble again. Also, he doesn’t want Ganke to think he’s uncool. Okay? Okay.

So.

Miles meows at the two. Not the two kittens, no, because that's the normal and socially acceptable response in public when you see two kittens meowing and calling out to you. No, Miles Gonzalo Morales, someone who’s literally saved his world (twice!), meowed at the two people in front of him.

“Oh my god,” he immediately tries to start apologizing, but the parent bursts out into laughter when the kid starts meowing back at him.

This is supposed to be a fun, happy moment. Silly and lighthearted. Spider-Man meowing and a kid meowing back after saving their kittens from death. Miles knows this, and that somehow makes the feeling of shame and…disgust, he realizes, at himself even worse.

But he laughs with the parent, and then the kid, because he knows he’s supposed to. He’s seen enough shows and been around enough people throughout his life to know something that obvious. But in all honesty, he just wants to curl up somewhere, and bite down, slam his head on something, throw himself into a few walls-

And he knows that’s not a normal reaction either, so he just feels more embarrassed as he laughs with the two and waves goodbye. Thank god for the mask, right?

___

Pavitr isn’t a surface hard enough to slam his head on, or throw himself onto to feel something else other than the embarrassment, but at least he can give Miles the pressure he needs.

“I’m just saying, that’s not a normal reaction. Have you ever thought of getting some chew toys?”

He’s not a dog, Pavitr.

“Not like that! I meant one of those chew necklaces, or a fidget toy, just to keep yourself uh… stable. Because you jumping to solutions like that? That is not very stable!”

Miles says nothing. He knew it wasn’t normal, and hearing someone else say it wasn’t stable was something he was always prepared for. Well, sort of prepared for. It stung only a little hearing it, and he knows Pavitr didn’t mean to imply anything too bad, but he was right anyway.

“I tend to be,” Pavitr says, rubbing comforting circles on his back.

Their legs are intertwined, both in their suits and laying in a web-hammock high above the noise of the city. The stars are much more visible the higher you go, and Pavitr’s been taking the time to point out constellations that Miles doesn’t know the meaning of. He keeps getting off track when the legend he’s telling Miles reminds him of something he did back in his universe, and Miles finds it a bit endearing. Ganke does the same thing, though he manages to circle back to his original point fairly easily.

“I’ll buy you one. Any of us could, really! It’s no big thing. Anyway, it sounds like you just need to meow more, because I can sense you have something to say. And you keep mouthing it on my chest.”

Miles groans quietly and tries not to dig his fingernails into Pavitr as he’s reminded of the events from earlier that day.

Miles goes to groan a bit more dramatically so Pavitr doesn’t think he worsened the mood, because out of everyone he’s met, Pavitr is the most socially awkward. Not even in a nervous wreck way, he’s just so earnest and eager to share what he thinks, that he doesn’t always read the room correctly. But they balance each other out, because Miles always over-reads a room (is that even a thing? Someone let him know) and ends up really anxious about saying the right thing. It’s been happening less and less with each passing day, but the fact that it’s an issue at all…

Anyway, the groan doesn’t come out right. Like, at all. In fact, it’s more like a trilling noise that cats make.

Patches of himself dance in and out of visibility for the most tense five seconds of Miles’s life, until Pavitr’s lenses squint happily. “You can do that too?! Lucky, I’m so jealous!” he gushes.

Huh?

“Yeah, Gwen and Hobie sometimes do that! You don’t know how badly I want to be able to- to just make a noise that people know means I’m happy without having to constantly smile or actually find the words for,” Pavitr rushes out, fully removing his arms from around Miles to hold his hands between their chest, bringing their foreheads together for a quick second. “That’s the most I can really do, that and hugs, to get my point across when I’m too tired for words.”

Miles wants to ask a lot of questions, mainly “why are you happy about this”, “why aren’t you pushing me away in disgust”, and “can you go back to hugging me”, but he settles for, “what do you mean you can’t do that?”

Too bad his brain loves not listening to him.

He meows, and this time his camouflage kicks in completely.

“You’re asking why I can’t make those noises?”

Well, he did say he was good at reading people, Miles thinks.

“I can’t believe I never told you! I didn’t get bitten, my powers are magic,” Pavitr exclaims happily, “yeah, this yogi blessed me, so I don’t actually have spider DNA or other stuff.”

Miles meows again, a questioning tone seeping in. (God, he won’t hear the end of this.)

“Yeah, the DNA! Y’know, how Hobie has glowing organic webs because his spider was SUPER messed up but he can’t use them because he’s not entirely healthy? So he uses the webshooters?”

No, he didn’t know that. God, he’s barely asked about Pavitr’s and Hobie’s pasts… he figured they didn’t bring it up for a reason, and he never felt the need to pry.

“Well, I don’t know if you wanna talk about the other guy,” Pavitr says, voice now a mumble as he makes a clawing motion to reference Miguel, “but it’s kinda like that. Except, uh, the opposite? Sorry if it doesn’t really make sense, I’m getting tired.”

Miles meows again, quieter to match Pavitr’s volume.

“The purring too. I know the meowing itself isn’t a spider-thing, but I’m 99% sure the purring is, so if you ever start doing that around me, don’t be afraid.”

Right. Okay, yeah. Pavitr’s a sweet guy, he wouldn’t make fun of him about something that he was really insecure (that word felt too weak to describe how he felt) about.

“I mean, maybe you won’t make those- oh okay, well uh-“

A quiet rumbling comes from his chest. Pavitr goes silent and rubs more comforting circles into his back until Miles slowly reappears.

Pavitr wasn’t making fun of him, or secretly thinking of him as some sort of freak who can’t speak like a normal human, Miles knew that. He knew Pavitr better than that, and it was almost insulting to think of the other boy like that. He knows this already.

“I can’t keep talking, okay, so… just… keep purring? It’s super calming,” Pavitr mumbles as he buries his face into the crook of the other’s neck, “I can’t talk anymore. Sorry.”

Miles feels a very brief rush of emotion at the request and the admission, none of which he can name (as per usual), and the purring gets stronger.

___

Hobie chats up the smoking line cook in the back of the hole-in-the-wall Miles likes to frequent on particularly rough days as he orders his food. He can hear their conversation through the walls, and is annoyed by Hobie when he isn’t even involved in the conversation.

“Who would win, a thousand rats, or five bears on cocaine?”

Miles tries to tune out Hobie’s questions as he orders their food.

It doesn’t really work, and he’s pretty sure the lady taking his order at the counter wonders why he looks so pissed off.

Walking outside and going around the back to drag Hobie away from the poor line cook he’s tormenting with stupid questions. “But you can’t even mix benadryl with-” Miles hears Hobie arguing now, and just grabs him by the collar and tugs him out of the alley.

“I got our food, let’s eat,” he tells the taller boy, who’s busy slapping his hand away and lightly punching his shoulder.

They decide to eat on the steps of a random apartment building near his own. He feels the steam condensing and dripping water into his palms and grimaces.

“What’s that frown for? Food ain’t good?” Hobie asks him around a mouth full of rice and honey chicken.

“Nah, just don’t like the feeling,” Miles says, taking the broccoli and meat out of the rice and putting them in small piles. He scowls at the juice from the meat mixing with the broccoli, and the juices from both soaking the rice with an unbalanced ratio of vegetable flavoring to meat flavoring… it’s silly. It’ll still get eaten, if the look in Hobie’s eyes means anything.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Hobie asks him, getting closer and pointing at the broccoli pile with his fork (which was missing a tine, for some reason).

“Probably not. I don’t think I’m hungry,” Miles tells him, still focused on trying to separate the carrots from the rice. Man, why didn’t he just stick with his usual order?

“I need a yes or no, mate,” Hobie tells him, pulling his fork back.

“But I don’t know, I don’t really get hungry.”

“What?” Hobie looks properly confused, and not in his usual dry “I know you’re lying to me but the lie was so bad it’s intriguing” way, but genuinely.

“Yeah,” Miles says, feeling more and more embarrassed even though he knows the last person he should feel embarrassed around is Hobie. But he’s just so… cool, in so many ways that Miles isn’t. He doesn’t want him to think he’s weird and just avoid him. Or worse, convince other people to avoid him.

Stop it, he’d never do that to me, Miles pleads. The memory of him meowing last week tries to wash over him, but he beats it back with a stick, forcing his happiest moments to replay in his mind and keeping his hands still so he doesn’t try to bite them. Pavitr wouldn’t judge him, Hobie wouldn’t judge him. Not now, not now, not now , he begs his brain. Behave. Be normal. You’re fine.

“I just… I guess I don’t ever really feel hungry. Like, I get hungry after too long, but I only really know when it’s been that long when the headaches and cramps start. Or the dizziness and all that,” Miles explains, voice getting meeker with each word. Be cool, Morales. For your own sake, just be cool.

“How often are you eating?” Hovie immediately asks him, a hard look in his eye.

Oh. He’s worried about- “No, look- I’m fine. I eat at the right times y'know, I’m supposed to. Breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon, dinner in the evenings, maybe a midnight snack. So I’m good, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Hobie lets out a (relieved?) sigh, “And what about the times you forget to?“

“Oh, I just don’t get the signal until it gets bad, I guess.”

Hobie stares at him until Miles feels like he’s ready to crawl into the sewers and hide there forever, so he uses the passing of someone exiting the building as an excuse to look away and focus back on his food.

“So how long has it been since you last ate?” Hobie asks him.

Miles has to count on his fingers, and apparently that action alone is enough for Hobie, because he just huffs and waves his hand for him to stop. “Just eat.”

Miles decides to stop separating the food and shovels a forkful in his mouth, still ending up feeling a little embarrassed.

___

“Ms. Spider-Man, why are you standing like Barbie?” a young girl asks him after he catches her from falling off the balcony. He’s standing on the wall making sure she goes back inside, and looks down. Right.

He’s on his tiptoes again. Clearing his throat, he flattens his feet against the brick, suppressing the strange shudder the sudden shift caused.

“Sometimes I just walk like that,” he tells her.

“Oh. Okay. Bye,” she says nonchalantly as she goes back into the building.

Miles wishes all conversations were that easy. Children are way easier to talk to than other people, and that’s a prime example. They have a question, they ask that question, that question gets answered, and they’re (usually) fine and go about their business.

Is that so bad?

___

Miles is shirtless, sprawled on the couch and staring blankly at the ceiling, occasionally having to move his limbs when Ganke feels like checking the couch for the billionth time might reveal the missing lego piece he’s looking for. It’s a rare day where he and his parents are both home, so he invited Ganke over to make sure he doesn’t lose his mind in this heat paired with his parents being sappy and grossly in love in the kitchen. Why Ganke decided it was the perfect temperature and moment to start moving shit around and rearrange Miles’s limp body to check between couch cushions in search of missing lego pieces, Miles will never know.

He tries to listen to music loud enough to drown out the sound of his parents talking, and the feeling of his shorts scratching his skin. It was maddening, but it’s not like he could walk around in his underwear. He could in his room of course, but there isn’t an AC in there to keep him cool, and opening the window would be useless in the heat.

Seeing Ganke say something, Miles pauses his music. “What?”

“I was just saying how you’re fine with super loud music only when you’re the one listening to it with your headphones. Otherwise it’s like you’re being- what did you say? Stabbed in the head?” Ganke gives him a quizzical once-over before returning to check under the couch. “Would your parents be mad if I moved this?”

“Oh,” Miles says, “yeah, I don’t really know how that works either. And it wasn’t stabbed, it was hit repeatedly with a blunt object.”

“Same thing.”

“So not the same thing, and don’t move the couch, you’ll probably unearth a government secret and put us all on a list because you thought it was a good idea to show your Glitch chat,” Miles scoffs playfully, making unpausing his music obvious with loud taps so Ganke can tell in case he has anything else to say.

“That was one time, how was I supposed to…” Ganke’s voice trails off as the song increases in volume again.

But seriously, why did he do that? Loud, sudden, and repetitive noises were the bane of his existence on one of his bad days, and extremely annoying to the point of anger and watery eyes on his bests. He usually wanted to break something if someone else was clicking their pen, or tear out his hair and bite into something if they were talking too loud to him, but when he was making the noises, he felt perfectly fine. Better, in fact.

There was a time, he thinks, when he was around eight or nine. He couldn’t have been older than that because he lost a tooth to a car door when he was ten, and he doesn’t remember that feeling then. There were guests over, maybe his mom or dad’s friends from work and some family members coming to congratulate him on graduating some grade at the top of his class? Anyway, Miles wasn’t enjoying it. He hid in his room and under his covers with his hands practically glued to his ears and his eyes squeezed shut. They were all talking so loud, and when he was out in the kitchen fixing his plate of food, he could hear everyone chewing, smell their colognes and perfumes, and don’t get him started on the one lady with the high-pitched laugh. He hated, absolutely hated , how shrill it sounded, it made his arms feel like they were made of jelly as a cold chill ran through him each time. He didn’t say anything though, because his parents raised him better than that, and it was mean. Even eight-or-nine year old Miles could understand that, though it took a while getting there.

When he sat down and began to eat, his fork scraped his teeth in the first bite. He gagged quietly and ran to his room, scratching at his arms and biting down on nothing repeatedly. He wanted to scream, but he wasn’t going to draw attention and make everyone worried. He wanted to tear at his face and hair until it all came off, he wanted to bash his head in the wall until he couldn’t feel anything, he wanted to just crawl out of his body. He didn’t want to feel what it felt, that awful, repulsive, spine-chilling feeling of silverware against his two front teeth. He couldn’t breathe, and curling into a ball against his bedroom door once he escaped the front area didn’t help. He rapidly tapped his nails on the floor as he tried to search for any solution.

Which led to him curled up tightly in his covers with his hands over his ears and his nails digging into his skin. He tensed his entire body up the second he wrapped the covers around him, constricting not too unlike a snake that has caught prey but with all the care of his father’s hugs after he made him proud, and curled his toes as if it would change anything. He found that biting his lip helped, but his mother wasn’t too pleased with that when she found him a few minutes later, wondering where her little boy had gone.

Her singing a calming tune that she usually sang to get him to sleep as a baby didn’t help at all now.

She sighed, and Miles expected her to tell everyone to leave and that the party was over because Miles was too upset over nothing, but she came back a few moments later and put some headphones over his head in place of his hands.

“They were a gift me and your father were going to give you tonight,” she whispered with a small smile, pressing a button on a silver ipod nano, and music filled Miles’s ears. He felt his eyelids start drooping immediately, his shoulders slacked, and could feel all his senses slowly going back down to 5, instead of the 11 they were dialed up to. The song drowned out everything in the world, erasing all the reminders of the loud people, disgusting feelings, and violent thoughts.

“Come get us when you’re feeling better, okay?”

Miles nodded, incapable of doing much else, and his mother kissed his forehead before quietly leaving the room.

Of course, he can’t afford to be like that as Spider-Man, so he mostly suppressed those negative feelings when he could. He hears all that stuff all the time now anyway with his enhanced senses, so he’s just going to have to deal with it. It’s not even as bad as it was when he was a kid, it’s way easier for him to grit his teeth and keep pushing compared to all those years ago.

But the control that comes with his music sort of… cancels out, he guesses, the negative effects that the noises give him. He’s in charge of what plays, when it plays, at what volume, and at what speed. If he’s in control of the noise then it’s not bad. If he isn’t, then it’s bad. Simple as that.

“Yeah, I see it that way too,” his father’s voice is muffled but still close enough to make Miles jump.

The man laughs and thumps him on the shoulder. Miles cringes at the feeling of the cold sweat making contact and lightly shoves the man’s hand off with a smile.

___

Miles stayed up late in his bunk, staring wide eyed at the screen. He had finally decided to look up all of his symptoms, something his mother and friends always told him not to do very often unless he wanted to discover he had a rare type of brain cancer, and was surprised by what he saw.

10 Signs Your Child Has Autism (And How To Cope)

Is My Son Autistic? Twenty Ways To Deal With Food Avoidance In Autistic Toddlers

Sensory Overload and Sensory Processing Disorder

Autism in Girls V.S. Boys

Am I Autistic Quiz (Real Answers)

Signs Of Autism & When To Call Your Doctor

Why Are Autistic Girls Less Diagnosed Than Autistic Boys?

He turns off his phone and goes to bed.

___

Crawling back into the dorm after a long night, Miles pulls off his mask and lays down next to Ganke, who’s still playing his game. “Hobie, can I ask you something?”

“I’m asleep,” Hobie says from his sprawl on Miles’s bunk. The older boy must have snuck in while he was out and Ganke didn’t try to chase him out this time.

“Are you autistic?“

“Do it look like I’d care mate?” A boot falls off and hits Ganke’s leg, making him grumble in annoyance. Miles leans into him and rubs his arm until Ganke gets the hint and wraps it around the boy, not once taking his eye off the screen.

Miles rolls his eyes. “And you, Ganke?”

“Probably. Mom said it’s ADHD but I don’t really care,” the boy mumbles in response, subconsciously leaning back into Miles, “not like it’d change anything.”

Miles smiles. That’s true, Ganke probably doesn’t care about anything like that. He’s always pretty chill when it comes to people- actually, that might not be the right word. He can be pretty harsh or wired, but everything he says is in a tired and chill way. “Remember that time you told me you hoped I died because I accidentally spilled sriracha all over your new pants?” Miles asks him, smiling at the memory.

Ganke laughs fondly, “Oh yeah, man I looked like I bled through and just never noticed. You were so lucky we were in here, I would have killed you if I had to walk across the cafeteria with sauce all on me.”

“Aw, you wouldn’t’ve done that. You love me too much to kill me.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“You do.”

Another boot drops on Ganke’s leg, and a pocket knife falls out of it when it hits the ground. Hobie grumbles from above, “Shut it, you two. I got a long day at the office tomorrow. Gotta bring home the bacon for the missus and youngins.”

“Hobie said shut up.”

“Really? I didn’t hear him,” Miles says, feeling himself slipping as he watched Peter (who looked very young in this game for some reason) fight some black-and-white guy in a suit. Huh. Would people make a game about him when he died? With the made-up villains? Would they put Ganke in the game?

Ganke slightly turns his head so his lips brush against Miles’s forehead for the briefest of seconds, bringing him back to reality before he fully zoned out, and tells him, “If they do, I’ll make sure they know to include your Strawberry Shortcake pajama sets.”

Miles brings his knees up to his chest, a quiet purr starting up as Peter proceeds to get his ass handed to him in a train car. Yikes.

___

“Are you autistic?” Miles asks Gwen.

“No, she’s just blonde,” answers Pavitr.

“Shut up,” Gwen lightly punches Pavitr, still enough to send him flying across the roof, “No, I don’t have anything going on. Why?”

Miles wipes some blood from his lip. “I was just wondering. Let’s keep going,” he says, a bit breathless.

Gwen places a hand on her hip and asks him, “You sure? You look kind of tired. I get that we just started trying this out and all, but you don’t have to force yourself to join.”

The sparring meetups let him get rid of his energy, and the feeling of the punches that almost hurt remind him of where he is.The chokeholds that are tight against his throat make his lungs burn and that burn makes him feel all the more real. The body-slamming forces his mind to stop its aimless floating away from him and to keep track of what damage is being done. The rare moments of skin-to-skin contact are like moments of pure clarity, and he can’t lose that.

In the end, when he’s sweaty and exhausted, he feels human again. Normal. Right.

“I’m sure.”

___

During lunch, Ganke places a necklace on his lap. It had a dark red guitar pick-shaped object on what looked like a pretty long piece of dental floss.

“Pavitr wanted me to give this to you since he couldn’t find you,” Ganke tells him, “and he said to wash it before and after each time you use it.”

“Is this what I think it is?” he asks around a mouth of rice.

“Chew necklace. We wanted to give you something else to bite instead of yourself,” Ganke gestures to the bandages on his arms that were barely visible. Miles pulls down his sleeve with a frown. Those were from last night, when his brain wouldn’t give him a break and kept making him think about all the sensations he hates, and his friend patched him up. Again.

Are Ganke’s eyebags getting worse?

Miles looked a bit skeptical. He saw a picture of one a few days ago, when he was at Gwen’s and researching more autistic traits. He'll definitely be looked at funny if he ever used it though, he just knows it. Sure, people chew on their pens and pencils, even he sometimes did that, but using basically a teething toy felt slightly insulting. The very sight of it makes it look right out of a children’s book, and it’s an uncomfortable weight on his thigh, reminding him of how different, in the bad way, he was compared to everybody else. He rolls his eyes at the unnecessary reminder.

“I’m not using that,” he tells him, taking another bite of his (actually Ganke’s, who was already full from the totally allowed and not-against-the-rules outing for breakfast they took) lunch. It was a good thing Ganke naturally liked to separate his foods a lot too.

“Too bad. You can’t keep self-cannibalizing yourself-”

“Okay wow, that’s a little much-“

“-and expecting to be fine. Isn’t your mom a nurse? What about long lasting nerve-damage, or if you bite into an artery? Or if you start biting random people because your own self isn’t enough? You ever thought of that?” Ganke asks him, not looking up from his… whatever he’s doing on his laptop.

I don’t have to think about it if I already did that, thank you very much , Miles thinks. He keeps chewing, his frown growing more and more prominent by the second. “I’m not gonna bite people. I’m not like…” he tries to save some face with the lie, but trails off. He doesn’t wanna think about Miguel.

Ganke side eyes him. “Like what?”

Miles shakes his head. “Nothing. Nobody. Just go back to threatening random people in a children’s game or something,” he says, finishing up the last of the lunch. He’s probably going to have to eat really soon again with the stupidly enhanced metabolism.

“Dude, just take the necklace and try it, because if you start biting me, I don’t care how cute you are, I’m kicking your ass,” Ganke tells him with no real heat in his voice.

Miles cracks a smile against his will, and puts the necklace in his pocket.

___

Dear Diary,

I’ve been looking online for some stories people have about their autism and how they figured it out, and apparently my organizing and oversensitivity is like a number one sign??? I thought it was just a little habit i picked up from mami and dad? And the spider senses is probably causing those other issues. And I don’t think i’m autistic but I could probably use the things they do to calm myself down or make life a bit more bearable.

-organizing things

-a lot of stimming

-speech issues

-hearing issues

-pressure ← try and finally ask for weighted blanket or save money

It’s a start i guess, and then I can bring it up to my dad as Spider-Man THEN mami THEN dad (important order don’t mess this up Morales). Anyway good note to end the entry on: Ganke kissed my forehead and he does that a lot but this time he said he was proud of me out of nowhere and said he’s getting a gift for us????? Hello???? I think it might have to do with Spider-Man stuff but he usually doesn’t care so its gotta be something else but WHAT!!!!

___

“Dad, I’m just saying,” Miles begins, holding his hands up in a surrendering way, as his father washes the dishes. He’s sitting down on the counter, lightly swinging his legs. “Give Maria’s a chance, you’ve never even tried their sandwiches! How do you know it’s bad?”

“I know what I like, and I don’t see a reason to suddenly chan-”

“Oh, wait, someone’s calling,” Miles interrupts him as he pulls his phone out, seeing Ganke’s name on the screen. What could he want? Ganke usually didn’t call him, opting to text, and definitely not before 12pm on a weekend.

“How can you even see? Your brightness is set to negative levels,” his dad said, trying his best to scrub some dried food off a plate. Miles never liked doing that, or even thinking about it, because it always made him feel like his fingers were some dangerous foreign object that he needed to rip off or felt the urge to dig his nails into his skin and tear his hair out.

“You know the light hurts my eyes,” and makes me mad, he doesn’t say.

“Ganke? You need something?”

“No, was just checking on you,” the boy sleepily mumbles into the phone.

“Before 9am?” Miles loudly gasps, placing a hand on his chest.

“Shut up. I also got a package today and you’re gonna wanna check it out.”

“Mmmm I don’t know,” Miles says, fiddling with the string of his hoodie. “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise,” Ganke tells him, and Miles can imagine him rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and blindly patting the bed in search of his glasses. His hair is definitely sticking out wildly, a few strands stuck to his freckled cheeks.

“You know I don’t like your surprises,” Miles grumbled into the phone. His dad gives him a slightly alarmed look, neither of them liked them. Ganke’s surprises usually involved someone being scared out of their mind, a wild animal (though he tends to blame Miles’s influence on that), and some piece of tech that might take over the world should he set it loose. In fact, the last time was all of that, and Miles had to call his dad, Hobie, and then Peter to solve the raccoon-with-an-atom-vaporizer-gun issue. And Miles was the one that got grounded longer, for some reason.

Anyway, he doesn’t like really Ganke’s surprises.

“No no no, you’ll like this one. I had to buy it,” Ganke tells him. “It’s kind of for us to share since I know I won’t use it as much.”

Miles can hear his soft footfalls on the wooden flooring as he left his carpeted room.

“I’m asking you to come over,” Ganke clarifies, “it’s so safe that you can bring your dad. Trust me.”

“Man…”

“Dude, c’monnnn. If you come over I’ll…”

“You’ll what? Do my homework for me?” Miles jokes, ignoring the way his dad lets out a questioning hum.

“Nah man, I do that enough. I’ll let you take me to those weird abandoned places you like to paint at,” Ganke comes up with. Miles can hear water running and a toothpaste cap opening, and takes this as a sign to hang up.

“Deal, man. Love you, bye. We’ll be there in like twenty,” he says rather quickly so he doesn’t have to hear gross mouth noises and spitting.

“We?” His dad lightly pushes at his shoulder on his way to dry his hands and get his glasses from the table.

Miles nods and gums in confirmation, “Stop acting like you don’t love Ganke, we’re just going see something real quick.”

His dad crosses his arms and looks down at him with an unimpressed stare, tilting his head to the dirty floors.

“And I’ll clean immediately when I get back.”

More staring. Miles looks down, unable to handle it.

“No messing around.”

Jeff nods and walks them both out the door.

An hour later, Jefferson sits on the Lees’ floor next to Miles, who’s fully covered in a fluffy white weighted blanket with only a small hole for his face, which reveals unfocused half-lidded eyes. It’s the calmest Jeff has ever seen his boy in a long time, maybe nearly two years, and it saddens him slightly to realize this, but he’s glad the blanket is helping.

Ganke sits next to Miles with his legs crossed and his elbows on his knees, gazing at the timer he set on his phone forlornly.

“Dad,” Miles’s voice is barely audible.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m autistic.”

Jeff blinks once. Twice. Three times. Takes his glasses off and cleans them before putting them back on again. He opens his mouth, closes it, and furrows his brow a few times. As he processes and tries to come up with a response.

On Miles’s end, he wonders, in the back of his mind, if he made some mistake and should have just stuck with the plan he wrote, but he’s too content right now to care. He hears Ganke exhale a bit forcefully through his nose, something he’s come to recognize as another laugh he has.

“Right. Uh, right. We’ll talk about this. At home. With your mother,” Jeff decides to say in an extremely halted and forced-confident tone.

Oh well. Probably won’t change anything.

A/N: The end!!! I still have things that weren't important to say in the fic or Miles just wouldn't know them; Gwen has ADHD and is in denial, Pavitr has Autism & ADHD but hasn't told anyone, Hobie has autism but wouldn't know and doesn't call it that, Jeff is also autistic and doesn't know (the fic is originally called Autism BLAST for a reason), and that "Ms. Spider-Man" is entirely on purpose bc of the spores <3 All ooc thoughts is when the autism beast broke through. get the tranq darts

<<< Part 1

#and mr bob is based off of bob from bob's burgers who i also hc to be autistic. yeah you thought you could escape #miles morales #spider man #spiderman #oneshot #spiderverse #atsv #atsv fanfiction #my writing #m&m posts

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switch-writer · 1 year ago

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Could I request some lee and ler Lou Kang Headcanons please? Thank you💜

Liu Kang Tickle Headcanons <3

A/N: So. Fun fact; I haven’t played the new game 💀 However! I have played all the games before MK1, and have a decent understanding of his character (which is probably roughly the same) so I chose to take it on! Feel free to request more! I do like Liu Kang, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Do enjoy!

• Okay, right out of the gate, Liu Kang is likely a softie when it’s tickling. Very gentle with his tickles. He has a soft touch and usually of course likes being more gentle and soft with people, especially his lovely Katana.

• Although. Admittedly. Back in another timeline, him and Kung Lao would certainly happen to try and outdo one another, so their training would occasionally turn into something a little more… tickly fighting wise.

• However. Usually he’s more gentle unless asked to prove otherwise.

• His tickles also range in length, sometimes it’s a simple little quick tickle, sometimes it’s more like tickling you like you’re a child until you give in and tell him to knock it off.

• That being said, he makes whoever he’s tickling ask nicely for it to stop. Kung Lao used to fail miserably at that step since he had a tad more attitude back in the day.

• Nonetheless, Liu Kang is very gentle, and he’s also someone who’s fond of getting little smiles from people with a slight tickle, or tickling someone silly to cheer them up.

• He used to tickle others as a child to cheer them up, especially playful silly wrestling, so it just became a prominent habit. He didn’t ever want to lose that silly nature, even if he matured. After all, the world is too serious to simply discard it.

• He also likes showing affection that way. It’s how you know he’s comfortable with someone.

• Despite all this, he may not do it the most often, but there’s always those happenstances where he knows a more lighthearted touch is needed. A gentle touch. Or rather a tickly touch.

• But since he’s taken the role of a god of fire and such, he has redirected most of his focus. He has more worries with going mad or keeping balance, even if he is still learning.

• Kitana has used his very same gentle tracing tickles or soft tickles to take his mind off the worries of the responsibilities.

• With that being said, when he’s tickled, he’s much more of a soft giggler. He has his moments where he’ll burst into laughs, but it’s always very light sounding soft laughter. Although, occasionally you’ll get some squeaks.

• His hair constantly will fall and slip onto his face, mostly because he’ll shake his head a lot. And perhaps hide his face using his longer hair.

• Kitana will often has to brush his hair out of his face, which will get a shy giggle and smile from him before she even tries to tickle him again.

• He’ll wiggle from side to side a lot, and will not hold still, he can’t help but wiggle a tad. If he’s teased about it, his face will probably flush a little and he’ll give a shrug with that shy smile and say something like, ‘that’s just how I am.’ Or something. He has no true shame about it, just a little flustering.

• If he expects someone is planning to try and sneak up on him to goof around by tickling him, he’ll often have a little smile and keep watching whoever it is out of the corner on their eye, and act all subtle as he’ll walk off to dodge it, or move out of reach.

• He’d also probably say something around the lines of ‘Yohou have some nerve to do that’ after someone tickles him, but he does enjoy the feeling of normalcy he gets from the silly action.

• His sweet spots would probably be his navel/tummy, along with under his arms. Although, a honorable mention would be his knees.

• His armpit has a little dip in it where he’ll certainly let out a slightly high pitched noise which is either a little squeal or a squeak. It’s the further you’ll get away from that soft laughter because his pitch goes up. Although, his navel probably will make him squeak a far amount when you wiggle your finger into it.

• Although, he certainly wouldn’t have a preference, to him, it’s a silly action that brings some joy and normalcy to the chaos of the realms. It’s a enjoyable moment. A soft moment.

Hopefully this was a enjoyable read! Thank you for the request!

#mortal kombat #mortal Kombat tickles #MK tickles #MK tickle headcanons #tickle headcanons #lee!LiuKang #ler!LiuKang #ticklish!LiuKang #tickle fluff #sfw tickling community #fluff #sfw #sfw tickles #tickle HCs

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astrobei · 2 years ago

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hi suni!! 73, 90, and 94 for the writer asks if u feel like it <33

hi parker :^)) i need u to know i tried posting this like 4 times and every time it would not save my answer to the last question so !! FIFTH TIME’S THE CHARM !!

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

oh this is so interesting and one of those things i don’t rly think about while i’m writing bc it just Happens? but now that i’m thinking about it i definitely definitely see things kind of like. acted out in my head !! especially when describing body language and dialogue and stuff like that it’s super helpful and easier than descriptions or prose because i just get this mental picture in my head of the scene and i can like hear the characters talking kind of and i just write down the dialogue/movements/setting as i see it or as it unfolds in my Mind. if that makes sense !! thinking about it i feel like writing is actually more visual than descriptive for me because i really do just see stuff in my head and just describe what i’m picturing and i think the reason why i get so carried away with scenes where there’s a lot of dialogue/movement is because i am but a mere meat vessel that exists for transcribing whatever my Brain sees

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

oh my god yes 100% !! even as someone who finds it hard to objectively perceive their own writing(i can’t for the life of me tell you what i think my style is or anything) but genuinely whenever i write it’s just a stream of my own consciousness and i think it shows !! especially when i write mike and his internal monologue im literally just getting momentarily possessed by his spirit and then word vomiting onto the google doc <3 what’s also funny is that i’ve had 3 different people send me this line from my fake dating fic and say “you” bc i really do just. threaten to hit things with a stick on a daily basis so. short answer: Yes !

94. do you prefer dialogue or description?

ooooh i would say dialogue !! it comes a lot easier to me and that’s where the bulk of my Overwriting problem lies because i just think it’s so much fun !! especially like. silly lighthearted banter and flirting and for building tension and when i’m visualizing a scene in my head the flow of conversation back and forth is a lot easier for me to picture than describing something and it feeling a bit repetitive if that makes sense? plus i feel like the characters’ voices really get to come through !! i love my inner monologue and description of course but dialogue is definitely where i get carried away :^)

#this was so incoherent #so sorry parker #these were so fun tho thaaaaaank u !!#/ask

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moemammon · 4 years ago

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Alright so my request is angsty-ish. Mc is engaged to someone else when they move for the exchange program and stays faithful during their entire stay, so maybe hcs on how the brothers react to a taken MC who (if they even try to advance) actively avoids romantic situations with them, and maybe a little bonus of them reuniting with their lover smittened.

I tried to request this before but all my asks get eaten so I just wanted to make sure it got through

"What Do You Mean You're Already Taken?!" (Feat the Demon Bros and GN!MC)

(Hell yeah angst time heheHEH >:))

Lucifer

Can you even imagine how Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride, reacted when his obvious advances toward you were always awkwardly brushed off? No matter what he tried, no matter how perfectly romantic the situation, he could never coax you into accepting his affections.

And he soon found out why, when you finally admitted that you were taken by another.

He can't remember the last time he's felt pain like this. He'd finally found someone he could be... vulnerable with. Someone he could open himself up to, who wouldn't see him in a different light as a result.

But to know that no matter what, he'll never be able to have you? It's a worse punishment than he could've imagined himself. He can't do anything but accept it, and you'll soon find that his advances come to a complete vault.

He's a little colder to you, but that's only because he's trying to relearn how to feel about your presence. He asks that you give him some time alone, for a few days. He'll be busy in his office in the time being.

Mammon

God, he's crushed. Mammon... was always aiming to be your first everything. Guess someone beat him to the punch before he could do anything to stop it. It takes everything in him not to accuse you of pulling his leg.

But you can't be serious... right? You're saying that no matter what he does or how strongly he feels, he can never have you? He won't get to hold you against him? He'll never be able to kiss you? To pull you under his sheets so you can sleep your worries away? Never be able to tell you just how much he loves you, more than any material possession in this entire world...?

But... why couldn't you just choose him..?

Mammon doesn't get it. He feels like he's always getting the short end of the bargain no matter what he tries. He knew the stakes were high when he started pining for you. You're... YOU! Perfect, amazing, lovable you... who will never be his.

These days he's barely home. You guys are still 'friends', but sometimes you can't tell if he's teasing you or actually being mean. He can't even stand being around you for too long, because his damned heart starts pounding until it hurts. He'd rather gamble the nights away than to have to deal with that.

Levi

Of course you're taken... it's not like he could've expected otherwise. Someone as great as you wouldn't look good standing with a gross otaku...

Jokes aside, Levi's heart has just shattered into a million pieces. You were his one! The one he dreamed about! The one he wanted to be around, despite his crippling social anxiety!

You got him... No, you REALLY got him. He didn't have to put up any walls when he was with you. He knew you liked him for who he was, and that you weren't secretly making fun of him when he wasn't around.

And... you two actually enjoyed one another's company! You shared so many laughs, so many days together, and just when he thought he'd gathered the courage to ask you to be his, you told him that you were taken.

He'll get over it. He's used to being disappointed, after all. Just don't mind him while he spends the next two weeks holed up in his room. If you need something, do you might just writing a note and slipping it under his door? He can't bear to look at his phone, since it's full of pictures of you.

Satan

Satan didn't mean to cause an outburst like that. He never meant to scare you. But when he realized that all this time spent falling deeper, and hopelessly in love with you, was all for naught? He didn't know how to react.

So many new, strange feelings rushed into him at once, until it all exploded in a fit of rage. Was it really anger? Or was it sorrow so strong that it could've been mistaken as such? He couldn't tell, because he's never felt this way before.

His room had been completely destroyed, many precious books lost to the unstoppable force that was his angry release. And when it subsided he was left feeling empty and lost... scared, even.

Would you think differently of him now? Would he think differently of YOU now? Could this... odd, sick, twisted relationship of yours be mended..? He didn't even know if he had the strength to attempt it.

So he isolates himself from you, spending a great deal of time repairing the damage done to his room. And when that's been finished, he's reading like his life depends on it. In the world of books, he can forget about real life entirely. Is it silly for him to imagine that maybe, some day, everything will work out like in a lighthearted fairytale?

Asmo

So you have a partner? Polygamy is fine too! Or so he thought, until you emphasized that you were loyal to your one and only partner. Meaning.. Asmo wasn't invited to the party.

Now, the Avatar of Lust wasn't exactly one who knew rejection. Sure he got a few 'no's here and there, but those little flings meant nothing and had no weight on his heart.

But you? You... were everything he didn't know he needed. Asmo knew he was beautiful and alluring, but you knew there was more to him than that. And you sought to bring those parts of him out into the light! He could only dream of showing his true self to you and you alone.

Asmodeus felt so secure with you, like the mask he'd been wearing for millennia could finally come off. With you, he could just be himself, and he could never tell you just how much that really meant to him. But now his heart aches with a pain he's never felt before, and it hurts so much that he can't help but cry.

His devilgram followers have been seeing him a LOT more lately. So has all of the devildom, really. He's never home anymore, choosing to fill the void with temporary lovers instead. It isn't enough though, and it only makes the pain worse. But in the end, what more can he do? He doesn't understand what love is without you.

Beel

Beel loved you. More than he could understand. More than he could've known.

When the feeling first blossomed within him, he thought it was hunger. Instead, it was a burning desire for you and only you, twisting in his core and setting his heart on fire.

Beel didn't understand it, but he knew that when you were with him, he could breathe a little easier. He could forget about the gnawing hunter that clouded his thoughts. For once, he actually felt free of his sin.

And then, you told him about your significant ofter, and he’d never felt so hungry in his life. The pain was so strong he thought he might collapse from weakness right then and there. It hurt... he hated it...

To everyone's shock, Beel has begun losing his appetite more frequently, most often after catching a glimpse of you. That familiar pain would sprout within him again and make him grimace, and he could no longer find the desire to eat. Maybe he'd just take his meals to his room from now on..?

Belphie

Right... of course. A human like you would be partnered with a human. It was natural that you'd have relationships before your life in the devildom. Anyone would've known that. So... why the hell did it sting so much?

Belphie couldn't sleep. Every moment he closed his eyes, visions of your sweet smile, your wonderful laugh, the way your nose wrinkled when you ate something gross... all of it haunted him. He couldn't get you out of his head no matter what he tried.

And it was so much worse now that he knew you were taken. He wondered if this was a punishment for killing you, like the universe's way of judging him for his misdeeds, and the ages of hatred he held in his heart for humans. Why would fate allow him to be happily partnered to one?

Try as he might, this was one worry he couldn't sleep away. He could never get comfortable. He couldn't close his eyes without thinking about you. He didn't want this. He hated this feeling of self loathing and regret. Belphagor wanted you, more than he’d ever wanted anything.

Maybe... he could convince you to love him? Show you that his love was so, SO much more than what anyone else could offer? He’d remind you of all the times you two shared together. You're not scared, right? Good. That's the last thing he’d want, because he loves you.

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aravas-writing · 3 years ago

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(Secret Star AU)

Title: "Ravenous Rave Romp!"

Cinder had been desperate for money, her normal "allowance" delayed for some reason (Watts!) Which means she needed a job. Emerald, who she had just recruited, said this place would be perfect, but Cinder had second thoughts the minute she walked into the porn studio. But before she could protest, Emerald had already signed her up for a Rave scene, wearing a multi coloured wig, hiding her identity. Cinder reluctantly went along with it, it wasn't like this smiling blonde could be rough with her, which she would have known, had she read the script...

She hated this whole situation with all of her heart. Cinder Fall was not a prostitute! She dangled the dream of sex with her in front of others to do her bidding, not give away her body!

She was done with that ever since she left the Silver Unicorn...once had been well enough.

Alas, that brazen arrogant fool Watts told her that there was some form of difficulty to move her required funds, so she would have to get a job.

Who the hell did he think she was?!

Calm...Calm...deep breaths... Emerald tried her best to get something that would get money easy while being somewhat dignified and matching Cinder's CV.

Somehow, her help had come up with an adult film company looking for new talent. Cinder had almost fried the chocolate-skinned street rat for it, but she had to concede that the terms of the contract she brought back were acceptable. It was a small consolation, alongside Emerald also being given a form.

Of course the greenette would have to fill her copy out as well.

The script was easy enough. Dance in a rave party alongside carefully chosen actors, all of whom actually seemed to relish being able to party on company clock. Then she was to carefully seduce her co-star into dancing with her, before getting dirty right on the dance floor.

Cinder had to admit, public sex had a thrill to it, which was possibly why she accepted these tacky-looking extensions in her hair. Sure, no one outside could tell that those weren't actually part of her hair, but still! Green and blue?!

Right, she was supposed to be a raver...

Miniskirt ready for easy access, skimpy top, makeup done and she was ready to rock the world of whatever guy was going to be sent her way.

...wait, how would one dance rave?

Too late, the crowd was ready and music was getting blasted through the speakers. It was a rather unsophisticated tune, but it certainly was easy enough to dance to. All one had to do was follow the beat.

Easy enough. The bodies around her were dancing fairly close to her, but not close enough to disrupt either Cinder or the cameras. The ravenette put on a bit of a show for them. A shimmy turned into a luscious roll of her hips, before excitedly jump around and letting her ass jiggle beneath her skirt.

And, of course, she only wore a thin thong.

As she danced, she noticed a figure approaching her spot on the dance floor. Judging him to be her co-star, Cinder threw a sneaky glance his way. Blonde hair adorned a head sitting on a tall body as blue eyes sparkled with mischief and adoration in equal parts.

'Oh no, he's hot.' That was most definitely not Cinder Fall's immediate thought upon seeing the guy, who himself was dressed in a shirt and shorts which both featured splatters of neon paint.

She used all her skill as a receiver to pretend to notice him just as he started appearing close to her own space on the dance floor. A howl of excitement ran through the crowd as the song changed. Fittingly enough, it was called "Satisfaction".

A coy smile his way and an extended hand, this silly boy took one huge step towards the Fall Maiden turned raver and danced to the beat. His hands met her hips immediately as he got close, a smile on his own lips as the two actually had fun.

Cinder could scarcely believe it herself. She was having fun to gaudy music and dancing with this ridiculously handsome- this adequately attractive stranger. Her smile became a little more genuine, certainly more so since she became what she was today.

But alas, this lighthearted atmosphere had to be shattered and replaced with a more sexual one. Taking his arm and lifting it slightly, the seductress used the opening to dance right into his arms, rubbing her shapely ass against his crotch. To finish this, she lifted her head to smile at the blonde boy.

He looked surprised at her forwardness, but soon relented and let his hands roam her perfect body. One caressed her thigh, inching close to her crotch while lifting her skirt as another roamed her flat stomach while searching a way towards her boobs.

Another jiggle of her ass, some pressing of her hips against his, and Cinder knew that her co-star was packing. Certainly something to look forward to as one of his hands finally made it up to her clothed boob to cup it gently. His thumb started to circle her nipple through the fabric, making Cinder bite her lip and shimmy around in his arms some more. Her flat stomach undulating was perfectly caught on camera.

Through the droning beat, Cinder wished he could hear her breathing heavily under his touch as he whispered all the dirty things he would do to her in her ear. Alas, there was no sound beyond the music.

Not that words were really necessary. The blonde's hand finally crept beneath her skirt, teasing and caressing her clad mound. She moaned, not that anyone could hear, as she realized that she had gotten wet under him. As his hand kept caressing her, she looked back up to him, craning her neck as she did, and smiled at him using her best fuck-me eyes.

He would have to oblige her, since they still starred in a porn video. He needed to fuck her, he just had to! Oum knows she wanted it.

Nice, well-shaped fingers pulled her thong away, baring what little it concealed to a curious camera lens as the music changed again to a different sound, this one like something was approaching. Cinder smiled at the timing of it as her handsome co-star probed her pussy, exploring it carefully instead of jamming it in like a possessive brute.

So many steps up from what she had to endure...He was focused on her pleasure, his finger scraping against her in the nicest way, pistoning in and out of her tight and ready pussy.

Cinder patience left as her libido rose, and she had to pull his wrist away from her pussy and towards her ass as she turned around, facing him now.

A female voice could be heard in this track, seemingly addressing the listener with an endearing and horny "Hey Baby", asking them increasingly lustful questions. Cinder herself fumbled at her blonde stud's- her friendly blonde's pants to fish out his painfully hard cock. Amber eyes not leaving blue, nimble hands wandered all over his length as her smile grew. Finally, she pulled close, slinging a leg around his hip and directing his cock close to her waiting muff. She could feel his tip close to her lips, so close that her hips moved against it in her own.

Finally, her blonde grabbed the ravenette by the hips and the leg slung around him, balancing her, and guided himself inside her. He didn't even use his hands, making her eyes widen as he entered her just like that.

To anyone looking on, the two were dancing very provocatively. To Cinder Fall, this was an experience unlike any other. He fit her excellently, dare she say perfectly; his cock filled her pussy completely! All the sexy minx wanted was for him to move immediately, perhaps giving her her first orgasm!

Dammit, she was so turned on!

His one hand cupping her ass cheek, he pressed deep and rhythmically inside her, then pulling out, then repeat three times before he followed with several shallow thrusts.

Cinder was certain that her juices were glistening in the lights as the speaking part of the song turned overtly sexual and her man fucked her good. Waves of pleasure ran through her, coursing through her veins as he held her close, amber eyes gazing at him with something so close to adoration that she herself wondered...

"Oh my God!" The girl in the song moaned in pretend lust as Cinder gasped it in actual lust as he simply picked her up, arms beneath her kneepits, and fucked her hard and good while standing.

She was getting close as he made his lust for her relentlessly known. Blue eyes and a mouth slightly opened to moan softly mirrored her own expression as she approached her own high; the very first anyone ever gave her!

A head snapped forward in the decisive moment and hungry lips met, tongues battling against one another as their climax rocked their bodies, a deluge if fun filling Cinder as her partner shivered, moaning into her mouth as her own sounds vibrated, letting them both feel it.

Finally, they separated, and Cinder was gently set down on wobbly legs. Not wasting a second, right after his still-hard dick was back in his pants, she pointed off the dance floor, in the vague direction of "private", and took his hand to lead him away...

"Cut!" The director yelled through the sound. "Excellent shoot, you two! Magnificent performance! You led her well, Jamie!"

As the ravenette blinked owlishly, torn out of her horny mode, her partner basically scratched the back of his head. "Thank you, but I'm pretty sure my partner here is the real star," he screamed back over the din of the ongoing party and pointing to the ravenette.

"Ah, certainly!" The director nodded to her. "We'll wire you your payment for this gig ASAP! You can go to the showers now; just-"

As soon as Cinder heard the word "showers" and saw the hand pointing in the direction, her trek continued, pulling this "Jamie" along undeterredly.

As soon as they arrived, her clothes practically flew off of her while she hungrily glared at the blonde. "I want a second round, Jamie," she clarified.

"Jaune, actually; Jamie is my stage-"

"Jaune, then." He was almost adorably nervous. "Get those extensions out if my hair and I'll make it worth it," Cinder commanded in her best seductress voice, beckoning him to follow as she headed to the shower.

She would definitely sign up to exclusively work with him...

#rwby #secret star au #cinder fall #jaune arc #rwby smut #rwby knightfall

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livin-like-larry413 · 5 months ago

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Hm, lets refer the the lore in one of my previous posts:

1) Clearly not, let’s continue. (For frame of reference, I’m 23, not that you really needed that information, but if it helps you)

2) Fun fact: the internet has been full of liars and deceivers since it’s creation, Tumblr has never been the exception, we’ve been knew. The term “Take with a grain of salt” can never be more prevalent and in need of usage than on the internet specifically in this day and age. However, I don’t know about you, but I’m inclined to believe that harm has been done to several individuals in some capacity when suicide is mentioned. That’s, you know, a basic form of human empathy.

3) Alright, this part I’m genuinely not showing my ass when I say I’m confused on which blog you’re talking about that is sending the hate—like, mine, sheheals, or some other secret third option that I don’t know about. Ima yap either way, but I’m just letting you know that now before I go back to showing my ass.

I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m sending hate—because this whole time I’ve been shouting from inside my little echo chamber “DEATH THREATS AND HARASSMENT ARE NOT APPROPRIATE FORMS OF COMMUNICATION” this whole entire time. I’ve been saying it since “new to the internet!baby me” could form thoughts, because guess what—that’s ALSO what was said to me when I was learning online etiquette. Not just fandom etiquette: online, too.

And idk if you know this, but I don’t talk to no one that I’m not a mutual with. So anyone saying “this is that Livin-Like-Larry account sending me this hateful message”, I can safely say it ain’t me, cause I could not give less of a fuck to actually do such an asinine thing. Lets be real and ask “why would this one guy, who is so against sending hate and has been saying “don’t send unnecessary hate to people you can very well and very easily block from your feed” then go on to send unnecessary hate and a hate campaign to people I do not know? Where’s the logic.

I do not control the people that read my posts, however they feel about it after reading it, that’s their prerogative, and the most I can do is make sure to keep from getting too heated about something and say something that could hurt someone without intent—because that’s my online responsibility. Will I succeed every time? No, and it does pain me that some of my words would lead to being hurtful to some people, but I can’t control that, because I don’t control people, and I will never claim to. That’d be irresponsible, and I am not a god.

If you’re talking about sheheal sending hate—again, I do not control what other people do on their blogs and I have never claimed to. Do I condone it? Obviously not, because what have I been saying this whole time?You know what they DO have on their blog that soapskneebrace and everyone else involved DONT have, because they deleted it? The post that created this whole mess in the first place. The silly-goofy lighthearted image post that Myka made because she was feeling silly-goofy at that time. You know, the same one that they all hounded on and called her a racist over because it didn’t have Gaz on it?

I will continue bringing it up because it was the catalyst for this entire shitshow. That’s how easy it was to have a whole section of this community to tear someone apart. That’s how easy it is for words to influence people, whether you’re cognizant of the effect your words have or not.

And while we’re at it, don’t think I didn’t notice that everyone involved with starting this whole situation are also STILL being hateful and specifically targeting sheheal, when they could very easily just block them themselves. It is that fucking simple, but they are refusing to for whatever reason they want to justify it as. If they truly wanted this whole thing to be over and wipe their hands clean of it, they have every means to do so but they don’t. Why.

4) it’s very easy to come to this conclusion, actually. From the way you speak later on in your paragraph, you know just how evil, vile and vindictive people can be, and it’s only amplified when you’re sitting behind a screen. The unknowns that sent all those death threats and ptsd triggering content to Myka knew what they were doing. They did it consciously and deliberately, and enjoyed it to some degree cause why else would they keep doing it? The unknowns that send it to soapskneebrace and everyone else they know that they’re close with in this situation also know how evil it is to send content like that, and they rejoice in it. Because they enjoy harming people.

The blog hellbent on revealing sheheal for being a liar instead of just letting the situation sit as it is has a sense of Justice that is admirable, but misguided. Think about it, for just a second, I beg you, because what else do they have to gain from being “correct” about sheheal being a liar, like they claim? They get nothing but the satisfaction of being right, and the ability to say “I told you so! Don’t mess with me cause I can easily expose you for what you are XD ✌️”. If they really wanted the situation to end, they’d end it by blocking sheheal, Myka’s account, everyone making mention of it, but they don’t.

5) If you actually read anything I said beforehand, you’d know I never claimed they made Myka kill herself, and it is another instance of irresponsible usage of your words on the internet that can have a negative impact on someone’s online experience. Do you actually understand the magnitude of that statement? The kind of target you’ve put on me just by insinuating that I somehow blame soapskneebrace for what has happened to Myka? The extra target you’ve put on soapskneebrace as a result, too, by the way, to insinuate that they had an involved hand in that themselves, when this whole time I have been saying the exact opposite, and instead have been saying “Your words have more impact than you know, sometimes, and to use buzzwords so loosely and so frequently about things that aren’t even correlated to those buzzwords is heavily irresponsible.”

From my first post, if you care. “You are not the cause of someone’s death, unless you are actively there and doing it.” Your words, however, have an impact, and will always have an impact. Never once have I said or insinuated one of the other blogs killed Myka, because that is an irresponsible use of my words online, and would not only have dastardly consequences, but also be factually wrong.

Continued from my first post: You are the ring master of your own online stage, and you are responsible for your own words. No one else is to blame for what you say other than yourself.

From my second post: Use. Your. Block. Button. More. Often.

That goes for everyone involved. And I mean everyone. Block me. I don’t care. It doesn’t hurt my feelings. In fact, I implore you to block me if that makes your online experience better. It’s yours to experience, not mine. You don’t need to interact with me at all. That is your choice. I don’t care if you don’t block me, either. We are strangers. You don’t hurt me by speaking to me, but if I am somehow hurting you, then for that I apologize, and I wholeheartedly expect to never be spoken to again by you and respect your need to protect your own peace. Because that’s the point I’m making. Curate your own online experience, instead of expecting others to cater to you.

You control your own experience. Your words have an impact. It can be good or bad, it’s up to you, but you don’t get to ignore the impact your voice makes in the world, good or bad. You have a responsibility to be conscious of your words and how you say them to people online, just like you do in real life.

Your own brush with debilitating mental health decline is a horrible experience. I wish you the best going forward and that you never have to go through anything like it again. I truly mean that. I can relate to you on it, even (also clearly failed my own attempts). But I have also been in Soapskneebrace and Myka’s shoes. I have also been on the internet long enough, and with zero parental supervision to know when people lie, when they’re truthful, but also to know that you will never truly know every side of a story and sometimes it’s best to protect your peace on it.

I have been on both ends of this kind of debacle. I have said horrible things in my past and as a child just because I thought I could, or I was mimicking someone I saw on the internet, and because I thought the words had no meaning, until I was shown to have hurt the people I spoke to that way in irreversible ways. I can never take that back, and I can never make amends with those people on it, thankfully not because they passed, but because they’re not obligated to forgive me. And I don’t expect them to.

I have also been like Myka, moreso than I have been like Soapskneebrace. I have been sent horrible messages, pictures, videos, told to my face how horrible of a person I am for something that did not at all warrant that type of reaction. I have been told very disgusting and invasive things by people just because that wanted it to hurt me, and have been treated like actual dog shit for liking a headcanon and making memes that someone else didn’t like that weren’t harmful at all. They were lighthearted and meant to bring and spark joy. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior, from anyone.

I took it upon myself when I truly began to understand what being on the internet entails, and that was to grow up and learn how to speak to people responsibly and come up to them first with respect—if they do so first. I will not be made a wet blanket or a punching bag when someone tries to talk to me sideways, especially not from someone who comfortably does so from behind a screen. It is your job to speak with respect and be responsible of your words.

Death threats, hate speech, vitriol, and a warped sense of Justice and comeuppance are not the way to go about this to end this situation and to just acknowledge what has happened. Driving people away from the internet is not the solution either. I am inclined to believe Myka has passed from unknowns taking it upon themselves to torment and mentally abuse her to the point of committing because she believed that that was her truest, only escape from it, because it has happened so much in this community that it has become expected at this point. This community is losing the plot of what matters from that situation which is to BLOCK PEOPLE, TAGS AND ACCOUNTS and curate your own experience and to just LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE.

Both sides of this fucked up shitshow are not doing anything to solve it or prevent something like this from happening in the future—which should be the intended goal, but it’s clearly not.

Whoever is in charge of the sheheal account is being looked at. They are being perceived. Clearly. They know what they’re doing, and if not, if somehow they’re not seeing their actions for what they are, that’s on them and they should be called out for it. The same for the blogs trying to “catch” the sheheal account in some sort of slip up. They are also being perceived. They know what they’re doing. Both groups are showing their asses and creating a divide that doesn’t need to be here, and they should honestly just block each other and call it a fucking day.

But, I don’t control people. I can have thoughts. I can have opinions on this matter, just the same as you and everyone else that chooses to look at my blog and follow me. That’s their choice, just as much as it is yours and mine.

So, if you’re done also showing your ass, I’m gonna go ahead and pull my big boy pants up and stop showing mine. Read entire posts and absorb what they’re really saying before posting another half-baked response on the internet.

fyi nobody died https://www.tumblr.com/fulltacs/753588191361171456/its-a-miracle-yall-codslut-rose-from-the?source=share

And you take that from someone who is clearly trying to create an even bigger divide than there already is by trying to “debunk” a suicide attempt in a clearly distasteful and disrespectful manner? Something I was able to pick up on after only being shown their blog just now? Be so for real right now.

I’ll not claim to know who any of these people are, I don’t really care to know them past what they show on their blogs and how they talk to people on either “side” of what’s been happening. I don’t even know Myka, but I know people who have been in her shoes, and have been spewed the most acidic and disgusting things all because they had an idea that someone else didn’t like. That’s the point of the discussion right now, not a “war of the ages” type of bullshit that’s clearly racking up right now.

Really ask yourself “What does this person gain from being right?” Nothing, other than a sick sense of superiority. An “Aha, gotcha!” sticker.

Bragging rights.

Ask yourself “Are they wrong?” too, while you’re at it. Cause there still seems to be some confusion on the state of Myka to a majority of this fandom, albeit for good reason—and it’s because she’s dropped off of tumblr due to harassment, bullying, death threats and messages meant to trigger a ptsd response from so called “fans” of a video game. All moves pointing to possible suicide attempt, which is very clearly the most likely outcome of this. Her dip into obscurity has been both to protect her state of mind as much as she can at this point, and to never return to the internet in any capacity. Death is absolutely on the table.

It doesn’t matter if there’s an “I’m right, you’re wrong” argument to this—people have still died and been driven away from fandom spaces due reckless online behavior, and that’s the entire point that’s being made, that you have clearly missed entirely. Grow. Up.

It’s not an issue of “people have thin skins nowadays to a few jabbing comments”, cause its not “just a few comments”—it’s user inability to understand that you have control over how you talk to people, and if you have a dramatic switch up to how you talk to people in real life (I.E., with basic human decency and respect) verses how you talk to people online (I.E., utter vitriol and sewage waste way of speaking to people), then once again—for the third time now—you are a child and your internet access should be placed under parental controls.

Fuck outta here with that behavior. Behavior like this is why fandoms like CoD now-days (which only grew into such a large fandom as it is right now within less than 5 years), ones that rise and fall so quickly into fame and obscurity that no one can have fun in, is because people like you become so concerned about a nonexistent pissing contest about fuck all.

#cod fandom #cod modern warfare #cod community #cod mw #cod mwii #codslut incident #long post #hit the picture limit with this one 💪#shitpost all you want #and don’t let people drag you down because of it #the internet is a hellscape #but that doesn’t mean be a jackass hellion #put out what you want to see in the world #and try to let it be good things

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river-bottom-nightmare · 4 years ago

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Nightwing 79 Review

i said i would and i will. i did like this issue! not as striking and attention grabbing as 78, but i think this issue was meant to be a foundation one, laying out the groundwork for the future. overall, pretty good. also there wasn't enough bitewing. as promised, overly extensive metaphors and me reading too much into things under the cut

i know i've talked about this cover before, but this particular thing is oddly important to me, so i'll talk about it again

this is me, once again screaming about how artists put nightwing in traditionally feminine poses and how every time i see it i just get whiplash. i mean, true, the main reason why is because nightwing is a so often sexualized character, and putting him in these poses just increases the objectification, which is a goal that dc producers have. but there are very few popular male characters that do this. the only one i can think of off the top of my head is deadpool, but that was so obviously a critique and a way to make fun of the media industry. when they draw dick like this, they’re being serious. they’re putting him in appealing poses meant to show him off, and that’s something that’s traditionally only been done to women.

it's a very direct and very loud breaking of traditional gender roles in media, especially for a character as high-profile and historic as dick grayson. colour also plays a factor in this. the entire background is pink. i was absolutely shocked when i first saw it, when the teaser came out, because i cannot think of any comic book covers of male comic heroes this high-profile where pink is even just prevalent in the cover, let alone the majority of the cover. the pink does look beautiful: it offsets and highlights the black and blue of dick's suit gorgeously, but does it with more finesse than orange or red. but the fact that the stylistic choice was made to accent and draw this cover with aesthetic and beauty in mind, completely ignoring traditional hard-set gender rules in art, was a conscious choice and one i wholeheartedly support.

just another example of the sexualization i was talking about. i remember seeing harley quinn in this exact pose in suicide squad.

so far, taylor's been pretty dead-set on bringing alfred to the forefront of importance in this series. he wants people to know how much he loves alfred's character, and how much the butler meant to dick growing up. he was dick's father too. but what i adore is how taylor managed to stress alfred's importance in a way that didn't insult or belittle bruce.

this is one of the best bruce and dick interactions i've seen, and it's done in one simple interaction. in this, bruce is tough and harsh. he knocked dick down hard, but then he reached a hand down and helped pull dick back up. let me analyze their dialogue for a minute

on your feet: this is bruce telling dick to get up. he's trained dick, he knows what the younger boy is capable of, he knows his limits, and he knows what dick can do. this is bruce telling dick i know you're strong enough to get up, so get up and prove me right

are you just going to knock me down again?: surface-level, it looks like dick's complaining. he doesn't like bruce's rough training, and he's tired of bruce knocking him down. but look at his face in this. he's smiling up at bruce, knowledgeable and a little hopeful. he knows that bruce is doing this to help dick better himself, he's completely on board with the rough training, because they both know the rewards are incredible. also, he's teasing. he's bantering with bruce. there's an ease in that joking statement, one that belies affection and intimacy. they've only known each other for a little bit, but they're already slipping into a close familial relationship.

it depends on how fast you learn: this is bruce bantering back. this is bruce not being a stoic, unfeeling asshole. instead, he's shown with the dry humor that a good batman writer knows is a staple of the character. he's teasing dick, telling him he'll basically whoop his ass if dick doesn't learn fast enough. it's incentive for dick to train harder, while also being lighthearted enough to tell dick that believes in dick and doesn't want him to push himself too hard.

gosh i love the titans. also it looks like wally's staring at dick's ass.

this was cute. a prod at dick's silly and playful sense of humor, while not dumbing him down for the sake of a laugh. instead, he's joking about food, which is stuff everyone jokes about. this is the kind of stuff that'll actually make me laugh, instead of just making me vaguely uncomfortable.

bludhaven's almost always portrayed as a cesspool of a city. and to be honest, it really is. but this panel gives the city a meaningful history, while also giving us a reason for why dick moved there.

it talks of a time when people still thought they could beat the monsters. that if they fought hard enough, they could win the fight. it was a tentative hope that you could always overcome hardship.

dick's little "i like that it's still standing" shows how he still believes that, despite what the rest of the world thinks. despite everything that he's been through, dick is still tentatively an optimist, and believes he can fight the monsters of the world and win. it's a beautiful testament to his character, and i'm like that they added his signature element of hope back in. it used to be what he symbolized as robin, and despite his growth and character arc from robin to nightwing, this is one aspect of robin that i'm glad nightwing still has.

remember when i said "things that make me vaguely uncomfortable??" yeahhhh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Shooketh Dick: A Sequel

(the expressions in this series are just,,,,on point)

this was an incredibly sweet and kindhearted thing for dick to do, but i found it kind of,,,,,,,,desperate? maybe that's just me, but let me explain.

dick's suddenly a billionaire, and he has entirely too much money that he knows what to do with. it's also alfred's money, what the man left to him, so dick forever links it with alfred. in addition to that, he's back and bludhaven and looking at it with "fresh" eyes. (at least, from a different point of view since he got shot in the head. then mind controlled.) he's desperate to do something with the money and he's desperate to help the people around him that so obviously needs up, so he comes up with an on-the-fly solution that's a little impractical and a little crazy, but it still helps and still does some good.

to me, dick seems a little lost. he hasn't completely found his balance yet, and he's trying to do things that will. he tries charity, because that's what bruce did and it's what he knows, even though he admitted that he always thought bruce could have done more as bruce wayne than batman.

they have a family group chat guys yall were right.

also, do i think that dick would ever actually get his wallet stolen?? no way in hell, he’d notice someone getting ready to pickpocket him a mile away. but i suppose it’s important to the Plot.

okay this is getting interesting. first blockbuster, now maroni (+ the weird heart stealer guy). i can officially say that i am intruiged

this particular artistic quirk is shown a lot in this issue, and from this art team in general, but i feel like this panel is one of the best examples of it. it was stunning enough to take up a full page, and it’s well deserved.

the way they show dick moving is absolutely brilliant. as a reader, i like seeing these smaller versions of dick getting clearer and in more detail as they come closer to the screen. not only do they show depth in the picture beyond what a simple 3 dimensional piece of art does, it also shows the passage of time.

in addition, it showcases dick’s skill. dick spots these mobsters running after a group of petty thieves. he then, and follow me here, leaps off the roof of one building feet first, springboards backwards off the side of the adjacent building with his feet, gracefully continues his backflip, rights himself, shoots a line with perfect timing: just in time to soften his landing but not slow him down, execute said landing on top of a moving bus, keep running on the moving bus without missing a beat, shoot his grapple, use the grapple to swing, use the swing to build up momentum, then use the momentum to deliver a powerful blow to the mobsters. and he did all that fast enough to catch up with the mobsters, even though he was a ROOFTOP OVER.

d a m n s o n

this panel, the very first in the issue, is also another example of that art style, but a little more distinctive. i love the way they showed dick’s different costumes through the ages, along with him simply growing up. it’s a little heartbreaking, but a lot uplifting to see how far he’s come. thank god he got rid of the red. now all we need is the fingerstripes, and we’ll be golden

discowing my beloved. also i can’t clearly see discowing’s hair but it definitely looks like it’s pulled back. it looks like he put it in a ponytail. guys. guys. dick had a ponytail omg.

he’s having a Hero Moment

are you talking about the city, dick, or are you talking about you? the kgbeast, the court, the joker. dick fell to each one of them, no matter how hard he fought. he won in the end, eventually and with his family’s help. but i think he’s feeling a little low, a little defeated right now. it’s almost like he needs a win, he needs to feel victorious, he needs to feel like he helped someone (hence the food and the hotel room), just because he needs to remember what it feels like.

these lines were supposed to resonate with you, and goddamn they did.

i looked at it from two ways. first, it’s the girl asking, begging nightwing not to hurt them. bludhaven doesn’t know dick the way gotham does, they’re still a little frightened of him. this child was brave enough to step in front of all of the other hurt and homeless kids and ask, to a strange man in a mask, if he was going to hurt them like the other men had. it’s heartbreaking, but commendable, and an echo of the city itself that dick’s decided to protect. they’re bloody and broken and terrified, but still gritty and brave enough to stare what they fear in the eye and ask it not to hurt them.

second, it’s dick seeing the question reflected in himself. recently, he got shot in the head and lost all his memories. while i think that the way ric reacted was a perfectly valid and human response to the situation, i think dick still regrets how callously and rudely he treated his family. then, he was manipulated by the court of owls, then he was brainwashed with a magic crystal by the joker. dick does have a guilt complex. it’s not a big as bruce’s, but it’s there. and right now, with this girl begging her not to hurt them, dick is probably thinking about all the times he hurt people, in control of his own actions or not, bc he “didn’t have a heart.”

little ambitious don’t you think, dick?

also just look at the sunset colours loOK at the they could not make this any more obvious oh my godddddddddddddddddddddddd

in conclusion, i need more of her

#dick grayson #nightwing #nightwing 79 #nightwing 79 spoilers #dc #dick grayson meta #nightwing meta #nightwing 79 meta #dc meta #river thinks too hard

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novelconcepts · 4 years ago

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5 Works Tag Game

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by @piratekane and while I don’t usually do tag games, this seemed kind of fun after the last couple of months, especially since I’m currently at a wall with today’s WIP.

walking with the lady - Dani Clayton/Jamie, The Haunting of Bly Manor

This wasn’t the first piece I wrote up when this show and these characters began living rent-free in my brain, but it’s absolutely the silliest--and, even so, I’m proud of how honest the emotion behind the silly managed to be. I wasn’t sure it would be possible, to take a bittersweet ending and turn it so lighthearted without losing the core of the original story, but I’m really glad it still seems to resonate with people. And I’m delighted with how much it seems to make people laugh. Ghosts need to be taught about NASA, too.

the thing about gravity - Dani Clayton/Jamie, The Haunting of Bly Manor

I am, primarily, the kind of writer to comes to fanfiction for fix-it and for character inspection. The idea of Jamie having lived the rest of her life without the love of her life there is brutal, but it’s also how marriage usually goes--and I wanted the kind of fix-it that didn’t negate the original ending (though I did play with that a few times over as well) so much as...give a bit more back to Jamie, in the end. As sort of reward for having been strong enough, brave enough, to keep going even without Dani’s face in the mirror.

been so good at wasting time (thank god for july) - Dani Clayton/Jamie, The Haunting of Bly Manor

I actually don’t like writing cheating into my stories--it’s one of my least favorite tropes--but I was given a very simple prompt (Dani offering lemonade to an entirely-too-hot Jamie in a tank top), and I wanted to challenge myself to spin it into something big and genuine and understandable. I wanted to create something that is at heart a Dani character piece, an introspection of how expectation can be a cage, and how someone can still slip free and find what they actually need to be happy, even if it looks like that cage is already locked. This was also the first time I let myself go full-tilt into an AU, and I really had a great time reimagining familiar characters and sequences in a more mundane reality.

the shape of it - Dani Clayton/Jamie, The Haunting of Bly Manor

I try to balance the sad with the cheerful when writing for these two--much as canon does--but this was easily the hardest one to work on. When it was first pitched to me as one of @karatam‘s prompts, I genuinely thought it would be too dark. But the text of the show is so layered around the idea of losing people while they’re still present, the insidious nature of being washed away over time by loss of memory or by a disorder of the mind, and it just fit really well to want to inspect what that would look like. This is, largely, a Jamie piece, with me wanting to take a respectful look at how Jamie’s ability to act as a grounding force would be impacted by Dani being taken from her a little bit at a time in a fashion that does not feel supernatural. It was hard to write, it’s incredibly hard to reread, but I think I really needed it for personal reasons as well as reasons of canon, and I’m glad it came out the way it did.

the key to any problem - Dani Clayton/Jamie, The Haunting of Bly Manor

All of my favorite pieces have been challenges--and this one was mostly just a challenge of utter scope. I wanted to craft something fun and lovely, something to weave in all the tropes I like best (bed sharing! fake dating! mutual pining! comfort in situations of panic! really, it has them all) that would still read as right for a show about ghosts and loss. Bly is not the sort of show that naturally lends itself to a rom-com--and I wanted to see if I’d be able to make it work without losing the heart of the characters I love so much. That it happened to be my longest work to-date, and that I foolishly didn’t feel the need to break it into chapters, was just an added surprise. But I really, really like how this one turned out.

I don’t know about tagging folks, but anyone who’d like to is absolutely welcome to follow suit.

#fanfiction #tag game #the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #dani x jamie #I don't often do this sort of thing but I have trouble turning down a chance to explain why I wrote something the way I did #or why I'm so proud of something #and frankly I'm pretty proud of everything I've done over the last few months #but these five are absolutely my favored children out of the 20-something

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eponymous-rose · 5 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E96 (February 25, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The Chicago live show and C2E2 are imminent! The live show will be on Thursday night, but an hour earlier than usual, at 6 PM Pacific/8 PM Central! Liam will be at the live show, but unfortunately has to leave C2E2 early and won’t be able to make it on Sunday. On Friday, the first behind-the-scenes video for The Legend of Vox Machina animated series was posted on YouTube, introducing the writing team!

Episode 96: Family Shatters

Stats for this week’s episode! Of the 16 times Caleb has cast Teleportation Circle, the M9 have remembered to contact someone prior to their arrival 7 times. Of those 7 times, they were successful at contacting someone at the location only 3. Taliesin: “We’re playing this game like Skyrim, we’re just going through people’s houses breaking pottery.” Caduceus got the straw hat that he gave to Clarabelle in episode 31, about 188 in-game days ago. There were 17 cow-related puns. Dani: “Is that above or below average for a Critical Role episode?”

“Clay was kind of built relatively quickly. I didn’t give Matt a ton to play with. I gave him the order in which they left, I gave him Clay’s attitude and his impression of his family members, which was usually just one sentence, and some basic idea of what their power set might be if they had one. I always thought of him as, from a family perspective, of what would have happened to Percy if nothing went wrong.” He was happy to be the one to run the family business and just hang around at home and run the shrine. “I think the rest of the kids’ wanderlust probably put them at odds quite a bit.” He liked being able to play that conflict and show what Caduceus was like when he was annoyed. Cad took after his father, the girls generally wanted to leave, and Colton is “just sort of a doofus.”

Caleb was an only child, so seeing this many kids was a lot. “They clearly had their grudges and their different dynamics with each other, but that’s normal, for sure. Caleb’s very unfamiliar with it.” He also keeps looking at Nott and thinking about how everything he’s doing is about wanting to rebuild his family, whereas Nott is so conflicted about going back to hers. “He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want to push it” or judge her for it. “I thought I had a really defined direction at the start of the campaign, but my seven best friends have knocked it silly.”

What’s keeping Cad with the Nein? “Caduceus is not ready to go home at all. He’s not done with his walkabout. He feels like he wants to see a bit more. He feels he has an intense debt to pay. He feels he has a mission to see everybody else through, at the very least. Or at least he’s telling himself that. So he’s saved his home, or at least he thinks he’s saved his home, and his family’s all right, so now it’s debts that must be paid. He’s not somebody who thinks you can just get off the bus.”

“Caleb was going to ask [the hag] about the ability to travel backward through time, not really believing that she could do that, but was still like, show me what you’ve got.” Even if she’d said it, he would have thought she was a liar. “Probably would’ve offered to kill the M9″ in exchange, then would’ve turned around to hit her with a surprise Disintegrate. Liam notes repeatedly that nothing could possibly have been as cool as what Laura wound up doing.

On the Nein not worrying about places Cad considered sacred ground, Caduceus “is fine with conflict. He doesn’t even really have to have conflict, he could assert himself if he were so inclined. It’s that he’s aware that there are limits to what these people can do. It’s very much the philosophy of ‘children and drunks can do no wrong’.” He’s picking his battles.

Was there a defining moment where Caleb started seeing the Nein as family? No single moment. “It’s like love by a thousand cuts.” Liam notes that he’s still not sure how Caleb would react if he suddenly had the means to carry out his plans. “He’s got the recovering-addict mentality.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Pumat! (CriticalHitical, photo by Minniemooncos on Twitter)

Taliesin notes that Caduceus is definitely feeling more connected to the group. “If anything, Caduceus is really embracing his role as the spiritual guide to the group. He feels like he really has a lot to offer from that perspective of being the roving therapist. Or at least, he thinks he’s a roving therapist.” Liam notes that Cad is the most mysterious of the group to Caleb. “He’s the most religious character I’ve ever played, too. He’s fun! He really came together very nicely.”

On Caleb being more lighthearted on occasion: “He’s been out of practice being a human being for a long time.” The Nein’s brand of ridiculousness is rubbing off on him.

Why hasn’t Cad been pranking the Nein? “They don’t treat him poorly in that way yet. Siblings, man. I have quite a few siblings, and there is an energy. It’s the same way like when you’re around your parents, you revert to a 15-year-old.” Same with siblings. “There’s just something-- just the urge to torture them is so overpowering.” The moment he got the whistle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Liam was reminded of Taliesin’s real-life siblings while watching these interactions in the game.

On Caleb’s laying on compliments for the Traveler: “The thing about time travel is it’s so implausible. It’s so implausible that I could see us finishing this campaign and Caleb will still have it in the back of his head for the rest of his life. But maybe Artagan could help with that. He certainly sees the potential in Artagan, and it was a balance between wanting to support everything Jester has devoted her life to, so it just felt like everyone was ready to write it off. Life is often like this, life isn’t what you thought it would be, it is what it is. Let’s not damn this yet, let’s feel it out. And if I can use this situation to possibly eradicate ultimate evil, that’s a win.”

Cad found it tough to have family and friends in the same room and play both roles. “I don’t know how much it came across that he was trying to keep them, not necessarily separated, but ‘family, guys, guys, family, ANYWAY.’” He did want to get his family on their way as quickly as possible. Cad is the equivalent of his early 20s, so something like 85-120 years old for a firbolg.

Liam is asked about the conversation between Caleb and Yasha on watch several episodes ago. "You know what one of the best parts of that scene that played out was, is about 20 minutes or 30 minutes before that happened, I texted Ashley at the table and said, ‘Want to take watch? I have nothing planned, it could be fun.’” He wasn’t expecting it to go that far. “I think he had such an extreme reaction because he felt that he had done a good job of hiding things, and he was suddenly worried that he was transparent, that everyone had been able to read him this whole time when he’d thought that he was-- well, he’s a little in love with Jester Lavorre, and has been for a while, uselessly in love with her. The waltz was probably a little pebble. And in that moment-- this doesn’t play out verbally too much in the show, but he just was worried that this thing that he’s never going to admit to because it’s useless, she’s finding herself, and has her whole life ahead of her, and has other people around her who care about her and are a whole lot better for her than he is. And he’s aware of the way those two [Fjord and Beau] feel as well. It’s just there in the background fucking up his shit. It’s really just a problem. Big fucking problem.”

Fan art of the week: a gorgeous Clay family portrait! (by Teaweltzer on Twitter)

On Clay being absent for the renewal of his home: “I don’t think his arc’s ending off-screen. I think his arc ends when he comes home to see what’s become of it.”

Is Caleb worried about Beau since the confrontation with her father? “Of course he is. She’s ignoring all the advice that she gave him. He doesn’t like to see her that hard on herself when she’s so competent and probably the backbone of the group. It’s the most judgey Caleb’s been of anybody, really, but he’s very aware of the pain of family and personal stuff. She knows her, and even though he broke his shit in half, he could still see the dynamic in the room when we visited his family, so he feels for her. We need you and we love you and we will miss you, you don’t fucking get to go.”

Each of the temples has a secondary god; what was the Blooming Grove’s other god? “The Blooming Grove is for the Archeart because it is a gift of beauty. It’s the Allhammer, the Changebringer, and the Archeart. It’s kind of a powerplay from the Wildmother, in my opinion. They’re all three based off of very specific types of funereal practices that are common throughout the world.”

Caleb saw giving over the transformation spell to Essek as a returning of one of his many favors. “Caleb likes Essek a lot. They’re like two highly gifted kids at school together. And, you know, he’s quirkily charming and handsome. There’s just no reason not to, in his mind. Outside of the M9, he’s probably the only person that Caleb would see as a friend that he’s made. Everyone else is just sort of scenery around the M9.”

What’s next for Cad? “It’s a little bit of finding himself, or at least finishing himself would be the way to put it.” (cue snickering from off-camera) “He’s also vaguely aware of some of the things that are going to possibly emotionally damage the party on the horizon, and he wants to be ready to deal with, in vague order, whatever’s going to happen to Jester, and then whatever’s going to happen to Fjord, and then whatever’s going to happen to Nott, and Yasha, and Caleb. He doesn’t know how to deal with what Beau’s going through. It’s the one thing he has no experience of, because he has no experience with that family dynamic. When he met people with that family dynamic, it was always at the end of it.”

Some fans sent in death whistles. Brian encourages Taliesin to play one on the plane.

The hat for Calliope was a last-minute thought. The flute could also have gone for Colton, depending on “who I could sneak up on”.

Caleb took a symbol of the Archeart from the Labenda Swamp. “I think it was familiar to me. I think I might have either correctly or mistakenly thought it reminded me of the woman who helped Caleb in the Sanatorium.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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you-did-well-moon · 5 years ago

Text

Sf9 reaction to s/o on their period

Type: fluff uwuwuuwu

A/n: oh god, fun fact, I got my first period on Halloween. I think I laughed too hard and it just- Moving on. I don't have a lot of cramps, but when I do, they’re bad T-T. I remember rolling around the floor screaming “I don't want to be a girl anymore” while my mom watched from the kitchen. She then told all my aunts. ahaha actually moving on now. On to the reaction. Don't be afraid to talk to me or to request - Moon

Youngbin

Youngbin strikes me as the type of person to make sure he really wants a relationship with someone before confessing, so you’re basically his ride or die and he’d do anything for you. That being said, congratulations, you have this boy wrapped around your finger. Your boyfriend is now your personal maid. He’s the type to make you feel good. Your tummy hurts? He’s trying to make it better by massaging it. You're suddenly upset with him because of a mood swing? Youngbin will take it like a champ smiling softly at you and crushing you into his arms while wondering how you can be so cute while pouting at him for accidentally leaving your favorite cup too high for you to reach. Youngbin already showers you in compliments, but he always manages to take it up a notch while you’re on your days of the month. Youngbin will surprise you with cute little things like a bath with a bath bomb and rose petals, your favorite flowers, or proposing to bake a cake together and making a mess of the kitchen.

“Your pants don't fit because your tummy is bloated babe. It’s normal. Just wear some sweatpants. You look beautiful either way”

Inseong

Every time, Inseong will be a bit awkward with you. Not because you’re on your period, but because he wants to do nice things for you. He’s just worried he’s doing too much or that he’s being clingy. Eventually, (after some reassurance from you because he will end up talking to you about it) he’ll grow comfortable trying to take your mind off things by doing sweet random gestures. If you’re craving something, you’ll find it on your bed by the end of the day with a sticky note accompanied by a cute pick-up line on it. If you’re on your way to work/school, Inseong will send you a text to check your gallery where you find silly selfies he took while you were probably getting ready. He will make you lay your head on his lap with tinted cheeks, and he'll read to you even exaggerating some of the dialogue parts to make you laugh. If you’re having a particular bad day, you will get met with Inseong’s unsure smile with a blanket fort behind him and your favorite movie ready to play on his laptop.

“Eh? Those cookies on your bed? Me? No no, you got it all wrong. It was probably Casper trying to make one of the most angelic people in the world show her lovely smile again”

Jaeyoon

Jaeyoon’s energy will literally sky rocket every time you're on your time of the month. Homeboy is probably preparing jokes for you two weeks prior to your period (yes, he will keep track of your period that's just how much of a boyfriend he is). He loves seeing his girl laugh, and he wants you to spend the week your mood usually gets bought down happy. Especially because of him. This dude will not be afraid to tease you. Nothing about your period like staining the bed. He teases you about things he’s always teased you about like tripping on nothing. If you’re having a particularly bad day and Jaeyoon’s lighthearted teasing gets to you, he won’t hesitate to smother you in kisses. If you’re still mad at him, he’ll follow you around pouting and acting cute for your forgiveness. You of course, give in. Something cute I think Jaeyoon would do is sit you down, your hands clasped in his and his forehead pressed against yours holding eye contact with you making you tell him all the good things that happened in your day. He’ll give you a little kiss for every good things you tell him.

“Come on y/n, you know I didn't mean it when I laughed at the toilet paper stuck to your shoe. I can't have your cute little butt slipping because of toilet paper. I know! I’ll impersonate Dawon when he accidentally ate nail polish for you.”

Dawon

Did someone order a koala? That’s basically what he becomes every time your time of the month comes around. He’ll act a bit clingier than usual (okay maybe a lot), but if you ask for space, he won’t falter in taking a step back and letting you breathe. The only reason Dawon goes into koala mode when you’re on your period is because he wants to be there in case you need/want something. Honestly, he’ll probably do something stupid like draw on your face while you were taking a nap. He will be whiny the rest of the day when you scold him. In his defense, he thought you could both laugh about it when you eventually did get up. He makes it better by letting you do something he normally doesn't let you do because he gets flustered and blushes a lot. He lets you cuddle him trace and touch his tattoos with a limited time offer of cuddles (it's not that limited). Of course you've seen his tattoos a hundred times before, but he’s usually asleep for it. In turn, he will trace lines across the slopes of your face mumbling how his day went against the crown of your head.

“What do you mean you have to go to the restroom? The restroom can fit two people. Ouch- okay I’ll get off of you just come back ASAP. I don't think I can take being too far away from you for too long”

Zuho

Juho will make sure you’re having the time of your life the whole time you're on your days. He invites you to his studio where you have crazy dance parties singing and rapping to one of his songs while you dance around with colorful wigs and other wacky accessories. He plays stupid games with you like paper rock scissors sticking out his tongue at you when you lose but still handing you his last Skittle. If you don't want to go out, that's perfectly fine for him too. He snuggles up to you on the couch while watching a scary movie spilling popcorn everywhere and screaming in an unbelievably high pitch. He’s just trying to make your period as not miserable as he can. He becomes even softer for you (if that’s even possible). He lets you play with his hair or put crazy makeup on him. Although he may look grumpy while in the process, he goofily laughs posing ridiculously when you tell him he looks pretty. He’s even letting you distract him in the studio tickling you when you grab his attention for too long.

“I never thought I'd look this good in long pink hair. You got the lyrics wrong but I'll let it pass since you’re cute.. and I love you”

Rowoon

Seokwoo usually teases you a lot, but he eases up on it when you’re on your period.He will bring you tea and pills when you’re having cramps watching worriedly as you curl up in pain. He runs his hands though your hair softening the crease between your eyebrows and shushing you softly when you whine out in pain. He will push you to eat saying the healthier your body is the better you will feel after your period ends. He contentedly smiles watching you fondly when you eat what he made. He will bring you outside and make you play something simple such as catch telling you he read on the internet that moving around will help ease up the pain in your lower abdomen. He is very patient with you when you get overly sensitive over something listening to you talk waving your arms around while internally thinking of how cute you look crying at Finding Nemo. He then eventually herds you to the bed telling you take a nap tucking you in and leaving a kiss against your forehead rubbing his nose against yours playfully before leaving to shower promising to join you later.

“Come on love, let's take a nap. I promise you’ll feel better when you wake up. See your beautiful self later babe, rest up”

Taeyang

Taeyang will also be one to tease his girlfriend, but he will change up his teasing. Instead of teasing you to annoy you, he'll do it more to bring up your mood and make you laugh. He pinches your cheek and calls you cute. Actually, you didn't advise him when you were on your period until you were sure the relationship was serious. When you first told him, Taeyang was a bit awkward, but he quickly shook it off smiling and nodding asking if you needed anything. Knowing how sensitive you can get during your time of the month, he’ll get a bit protective (not overbearing) of you. If a member teases you, he sends them a small sharp glare. He will make sure you don't watch that movie that makes you cry every time. He will make sure you spend your days while on your period as relaxed as you can. Taeyang would take you on walks with beautiful flowers and plants along the path smiling as you take everything in beaming in delight. He will stay at home with you playing his guitar while conversing about random topics with you.

“This isn't the first time you've seen those flowers jagi, yet you still stop to look at them every time. You're too adorable for your own good sometimes angel”

Hwiyoung

Hwiyoung will be the member who will be the shyest when you first tell him you're on your period. He’ll probably also freak out the most when you start curling in on yourself because of some painful cramps. He probably runs around the house looking for something that can help you until you eventually tell him what kind of pills to get you and to heat up a water bottle. There’s nothing to worry about, he will definitely be more prepared for next time. He will constantly ask you if he can do anything for you, and he gets a hang of what helps you out the most. Hwiyoung spends a lot of time with you goofing off and playing around. He draws with you purposefully giving you a big nose while drawing you and cackling when you lightly throw a pencil in his direction. Something you guys would probably do is intentionally get movies many say are bad and laugh while watching them. When you fall asleep on his shoulder tired of the day’s activities, he will fondly gummy smile at you before gently shaking awake to go to bed.

“What do you mean your uterus is murdering you? Is that normal? Oh- please don't cry. Tell me what I can do to take the pain away love”

Chani

Early in the relationship, when you first tell him about your period, he will observe you quietly. He just wants to see how he can help you out, so he doesn't do anything wrong when he’s trying to take care of you while you’re on your days of the month. After getting a good look at what he can do to help you out, he will be more active around you when you’re on your period. He will take many naps with you softly singing you to sleep and resting your head in the crook of his arm lightly running his hands up and down your arm. He will act cute only for you when he sees you’re having a hard time. He sits next to the bathtub when you’re in the bath he prepared for you, and he even massages your shoulder before throwing a towel at your face telling you to finish so you could go watch some movies. He’s playful with you chasing you around your apartment spinning you around when he catches you. He smiles warmly at you and chuckles lowly when you give him those puppy eyes asking if you can go to the corner store to get snacks. He just ruffles your hair agreeing a second later.

“So what if this is the fifth nap we’ve had this day. We both need our rest. Now go to sleep and dream of me”

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generallybarzy · 5 years ago

Text

smile like sunshine

Introduction: ~7,600 words

mat barzal series

summary: A lot changes in ten years, and a lot changes when someone grows used to having constant attention, fans, and fame- so surely the boy you knew back then was long gone. Even if you had been the closest of friends that one month back in 2008, there was no way he remembers you, or even wants to talk to you anymore...

an: Here it finally is!!! I know, I know, it's super long. I was gonna split it up, but it made more sense to keep the intro in one part for the backstory and setting up the main plot and then have the rest of the story on the beach. I really hope this comes together like I want it to!

From the moment you first saw him, you knew you were going to be best friends; but what you could never know, at only nine years old, was that you were going to fall head over heels in love with him one day.

Looking back now, he was adorable as a child, but that wasn’t what your little nine-year-old mind was thinking at the time. All you were focused on back then was the sheer awesomeness of that sandcastle he was building and the overwhelming amount of loneliness that was overtaking you on what was supposed to be a fun, month-long family vacation. He was just a boy, caked in sand from crawling around on his hands and knees to construct what you thought back then was the most complex structure of architecture in existence, and you were just a girl, your desperation for a friend to play with outweighing your shyness. Your parents seemed too busy with the new babies to pay attention to you, so you had to find someone else to hang out with, and here was this boy. You had approached him hesitantly, just really wanting something to do and someone to play with other than your annoying siblings, hoping that he wouldn’t turn you away.

“Did you make that?” Your first words to him were spoken shyly, hesitant, and had him looking up at you, squinting from the sun through his dark locks of hair.

“Yeah.”

“All by yourself?” He nodded again, looking proud. “It’s awesome!”

“Thanks!” He glanced back to his work for a second before pushing himself to his feet and offering you a sand bucket. “You wanna help?”

“Yes, please.”

“Cool.” He smiled brightly, showing off a missing tooth, and you smiled back, it was impossible not to with how full of sunshine this boy seemed to be. You followed him out towards the water to scoop up some wet sand. “I’m Mat.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

It was really that simple to become friends. You soon came to find that Mat was really funny, one of the funniest people you’d ever met- and still to this day you couldn’t forget how green his eyes sparkled in the sunlight while he was laughing, even if he was just laughing at his own silly jokes. The two of you slaved away at building your sandcastle in the hot sun and laughing at each other’s jokes for what seemed like hours before your parents came over to find you playing with a new friend. Your parents and his talked- about nothing you cared about at that age- while you and Mat sat with your feet in the water, eating ice pops and getting sunburned without a care in the world.

You still thought back to that month to this day. It was still one of your happiest memories: those hot watermelon and ice pop summer days giving you sticky faces and hands and sunburnt skin, eating ice cream on your tenth birthday and skipping along the pier next to him with your moms chatting behind you, collecting shells and messing with crabs together, being splashed with seawater and laughing even though you wanted to be mad at him. That was your happy place.

One conversation you remember distinctly from later that month was when you and Mat were sitting on the beach, sifting through the sand and collecting shells. Well, you were the only one actually collecting shells; Mat thought it would be funny to sit there and throw little crustaceans at you and make you shriek. Eventually, a hush had fallen over the two of you, and Mat spoke up. “I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

“The what?” Mat laughed at you, but you genuinely didn’t know what he was talking about. You laugh at yourself today, looking back.

“Do you know what hockey is?”

“Duh. My dad watches it.”

“I like to play hockey. I’m going to as a job one day.”

“That sounds cool!” Your young mind couldn’t even comprehend having any adult job, let alone knowing at this age what you want to do for the rest of your life Obviously, Mat was a boy who had plans. “It looks dangerous, though, do you get hurt?”

“I don’t really get hurt much.”

“I bet you’re good at it, then.”

“I am!” You smiled and laughed with Mat and leaned over your pile of shells to hug him, the deepest form of showing affection you knew at that point.

“I’ll come to see you play one day. I promise.”

Remember when life was so simple that a sandcastle was all that was needed to spark the beginning of a wonderful friendship, even if it only lasted a month? Remember when we didn’t have to worry about grades and work and money and taxes? Sometimes you wished you could take yourself back to that month, so you could have a distraction. You’ve been looking for a distraction like Mat had been all your life- while your parents fought from the other room, while you stressed over tests in school, during heartbreak after heartbreak, while you dealt with pressure taking standardized tests or getting your first job, or moving to New York City alone only weeks shy of your 20th birthday during the summer before you started college. Every now and then you would forget about that summer, but the moment you’d stress over something, your mind just drifted off and daydreamed of that lighthearted smile, and those shining green eyes, and you hoped he was happy wherever he was.

Mat.

Damn it, you would have tried years ago to google him or something if you knew his last name, or even where he lived. Unfortunately, those aren’t topics of interest to children, so they never popped up in your conversation, and neither your mom or dad seemed to care enough to remember what they talked about with his parents, probably too busy fighting all the time, you mused.

The fall after you’d moved to New York for college, your roommate Amy, who was extremely welcoming and always made you feel at home, decided to introduce you to the sports teams of the city in an effort to get you out of your apartment and away from your work. It was just your luck, you realized later, that she was especially into hockey. You were vaguely familiar with hockey, your dad used to be a huge hockey fan in your youth, but stopped many years ago in the midst of your parent’s marriage practically falling apart. Now he only watched it occasionally, a few years behind on who was up-and-coming. “Hey, might as well learn the sport. Maybe one day you’ll reconnect with that boy from your long-ago summer romance!” She spoke teasingly, lightheartedly, always loving to hear the sweet story of your childhood best friend who had slipped away and may have disappeared forever. She was always one for cliches. You had told her many things about your time with Mat, but never used his name; no, that felt too personal, as if he was a secret for only you to know about.

“Oh, come on, Ames!” You laughed, but you couldn’t help but hope. “We were, like, ten! I don’t think that qualifies as romance.”

“Maybe not, but the way you describe him… If you would’ve met in your teens, that story would have ended with some cute, awkward first kisses.” She loved a good love story, and you smiled and shook your head. Yeah, honestly, you wish you’d known him later in your life.

“Yeah, maybe.”

So, eventually, she took you to an Islanders game, letting you borrow a blue hoodie of hers from her large collection of NHL merchandise so that you would look like more of a fan. You sat through the game with her, excited and interested and eager to learn as she kept pointing things out to you to help you understand the game. Despite it being an NHL game, you hadn’t thought of the boy that sparked your interest in the sport all night, until, about halfway through the game, you saw a name mentioned overhead.

Mathew Barzal.

You knew it was nothing. Literally nothing. There are plenty of other people named Mathew, idiot. But you couldn’t help the soft spark of memories in you. You pushed it out of your mind and went back to the game, even though something, just something was nagging away in your head. When you looked up to the screen above the ice, you caught a glance of the name again. Mathew, spelled with one ‘T’. A vivid memory pops to your head- you and Mat tracing your names and other words into the sand with sticks, just for fun, because that’s what entertains a ten-year-old apparently.

“I’m gonna be in the NHL one day.”

Mathew. One ‘T’. NHL. You knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, plenty of people probably spelled it that way, and you were probably grasping at straws, but hey what were the odds? A hockey player, Mathew. If only you could get a good look at the guy. Or… or something. You probably wouldn’t even recognize someone after ten years of not seeing them; you could hardly recognize ten-year-old you in photos! In your head, Mat was still eleven years old. Honestly, was there even a way to figure out if it was him or not? Ask him if he happened to meet a girl on a family vacation a decade ago? Yeah, and when would you get the chance to ask a professional athlete such personal questions?

...Well, tonight, apparently.

As you left your seats after the game, everyone happy and celebratory after a win, you almost had a heart attack when Amy grabbed your arm and shrieked. “Oh my God, oh my God, (Y/N)!” She pointed to her phone in shock, and you still couldn’t tell what she was reacting to, but calmed down, realizing it probably wasn’t life-threatening.

“Holy shit, Ames, are you trying to kill me?”

“Listen, listen.” She calmed down a bit, letting out a small laugh. “So let's just say someone I know, knows somebody,” You laughed a bit, knowing this was gonna be some new interesting gossip. “And they know where the players are going out to celebrate tonight.” She sent you a suggestive, winking look.

“No way. You want to go and… interact with them? Professional athletes? Us, talking to professional athletes?”

“I mean, yeah. Are you telling me you don’t want to flirt with a hockey player?” She saw the look on your face and shook her head. “Or! Or not even flirt. Just talk. Get a picture with them, or a signature? Or just let me talk and you can wave to them. I can promise you they’re all pretty nice to their fans.”

“You sound as if you’ve talked to them all before.”

“No, only one. And it was more of me talking and him saying ‘cool, cool.’ while he signed my jersey. But I always hear that they’re really sweet.”

“Well,” you thought for a moment. It would be pretty freaking cool to try and befriend a professional athlete, or even just pretend for a night that you knew them. You definitely don’t go out enough, you hadn’t really been to many bars- you had only turned 20 a few months ago and couldn’t drink yet, so what was the point? In fact, you’d barely left your tiny apartment since moving, and even though you weren’t one for bars or clubs, you were in New York City, for fuck’s sake! Might as well go out and live, right? “Alright, let’s go. But if we actually see them, you have to be my wing-woman.”

“Oh, hell yes.”

The bar you were going to wasn’t far from the rink, and according to a google search of the place, it didn’t seem too sleazy or gross- that was good. Of course it’s not sleazy, why would someone as rich as a bunch of professional athletes go to a sleazy bar? Because it was only a little further than where you had parked, the two of you walked together. As it settled in your head that you might actually see professional hockey players tonight, you started feeling a little nervous. Partially because you’ve never been in a place with that many famous people at once, but also because of the name that was still circling your brain.

“Hey, so I’ve had something on my mind because of this game.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re gonna think I’m completely crazy, but listen.” She looked up with a face, ready for your story.

“Give it to me.”

“Okay, so... this kid I told you about, that I met that summer? His name was Mathew. Spelled with only one ‘T’, I remember that clearly.” You laughed a bit, wondering how crazy you must have sounded to her. “And he told me he was gonna play in the NHL, right?”

After a second, you saw it click in her head. “No fuckin’ way. You think it’s Barzal?”

“Ames, I don’t know, I don’t know! There are plenty of Mathews who play hockey, right? But maybe he doesn’t even play hockey after all. Kids aren’t great at choosing their career paths, ya know? I just never learned his last name. I need his age or... something to identify him with.”

“He’s… like, 21, I think.”

“Yeah?” You paused. Why was this all actually matching up? “Yeah. So ten years ago he would’ve been eleven.”

“Holy shit, hoooolllly shit.”

“But I’m sure there are plenty of Mathews who are 21 right now.”

“Girl, holy shit. Look up a picture of him right now. If you had a summer romance with Barzy, I need to know immediately.”

“Okay, it still wasn’t really a romance, but same.” You pulled out your phone and typed his name into the search bar. “I don’t even know if I’ll recognize him after ten years.” Immediately after you opened the images tab, the first thing you noticed about him was the hair. Dark and thick and kind of wavy and looking extra soft in a few pictures, it did remind you of your Mat- whose hair had been full of sand and salt water and kept drying softly as he ran around in the sunlight- but you still couldn’t be 100% positive. It was after you scrolled past all the on ice pictures where you couldn’t really see his face well behind the helmet and found a picture of him- unstaged and off the ice and genuinely smiling- that you felt a strange spark ignite inside of you. Sunshine. His smile felt like sunshine. Maybe. Just, maybe.

Scrolling through other photos, your eyes caught one in particular. You opened a close up of his face and zoomed in a tiny bit more. Those eyes, shining all pretty and green in the sunlight. You could never forget them- not after ten years, and not after a hundred. His eyes, his chin, even the size of his goddamn nostrils, all the tiny, stupid details in his face… was this actually him? “Biiiitch....” Amy leaned closer to you and bumped shoulders with you in acknowledgment.

“What? Do you recognize something?”

“Kinda, yeah. It’s so weird.”

“So you think it’s seriously him?”

“I don’t know. But the last picture of his smile, I’d recognize that smile anywhere and… this. His eyes- that eye color…. I remember thinking it’s so pretty… even his fucking nostrils, Amy!” The fact that you took note of his nostrils might have been funny at another time, but you were currently having a crisis as to whether or not you were once friends with fucking Mathew Barzal.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re kinda big…”

“I… I don’t want to say that I think it’s him, that might just be me being too hopeful. But...”

“Holy shit. You might have been Barzy’s friend at one point. You could reconnect with him, and we could hang out with the players!” You shot her a look, and she knew to calm down. “Sorry. Alright, whether or not it was him, I’m still gonna get you to talk with him tonight.” You hadn’t realized that you had basically arrived at the bar, and you felt your heart start pumping you full of nerves as she opened the door. “You have my word.”

The bar wasn't too crazy- there was music playing overhead and that weird hazy bar feeling lingered in the air. Immediately you could see that there was a celebratory group of of tall men, some standing at the bar talking with each other, others talking with girls- some shared wedding bands with the women they were talking to, their wives apparently. So you figured those were the players.

“I can’t believe it.” Amy was still in shock next to you; you were too, but you needed to pull it together. “You and Barzal…”

“Well, we don’t actually know yet.” You pulled her into you by the elbow. “But please please don’t mention that to them, I don’t need them to think I’m crazy before I even talk to them.” She nodded back, but before either of you could comprehend what was happening, somebody- obviously one of the hockey players- seemed to catch her eye as they came into view near the bar. “A player you like?”

“Anthony Beauvillier.” She pronounced his name with an obvious swoon and you laughed. Oh, so this was that favorite player that she kept talking about. “Tito. Yeah. He’s cool.” She nudged you, smirking. “Oh! And he’s besties with Mat! I bet I could get him for you.”

“You? Talking to them?” As much as Amy liked to talk and wanted to meet the players, you knew she wasn’t the type to just go out and throw herself into conversation with somebody, and you knew she easily got tongue-tied- that’s where the two of you were most similar. But maybe it was just the fact that she was trying to help you out that gave her the boost of confidence to begin chasing after him. “Hey, actually, maybe we shouldn’t bother them. I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with fans.”

“We won’t pester them or anything. I’m sure they’ll see we’re not like, crazy crazy fans. Anyway we have a mission.”

“A mission?”

“Operation… I don’t know, Operation Find Mat Barzal for (Y/N).”

“Wow. Creative.”

“I know.” She laughed and smiled at you reassuringly. “Come on, both of us need to learn to be more assertive, don’t you think? We’re not annoying them, just telling them we think they’re cool, and maybe getting a picture. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” There was nothing you could say before she was- to your horror- reaching out and tapping Anthony’s arm. You were sure you looked nervous as he turned to look at the two of you, and your friend started rambling with a big starstruck smile on her face. “Hi, uh yeah. You’re cool.” You weren’t only feeling embarrassed yourself, but also for her. “I’m a big fan!”

To your surprise- or maybe not, he seemed like a sweet guy- he smiled back at her, and you almost melted under kinda his blue eyes as he looked between the two of you. He thanked her as she complimented his performance tonight and motioned to the phone in her hand. “You want a picture?”

“Yes please!” You took her phone for her to snap a couple of pictures of the two of them, glad that this guy seemed so chill and friendly. After the picture was taken, Amy still didn’t let him leave, no, to your absolute horror, she motioned to you. “My friend here, (Y/N), tonight was the first game she’s ever been to.” You could feel your cheeks heat up when he looked over at you, but couldn’t help but smile back up to him. Oh, he was kinda really cute...

“Oh yeah? Hope you enjoyed it.”

Oh. Oh, he was actually talking to you! “Yeah, yeah. I didn’t understand everything that was happening, I’m still learning, but.. it was still really fun!”

“Actually,” you felt Amy’s arm fall across your shoulders, and you looked over at her. God, what was she planning now? “(Y/N) happens to be a big fan of Barzy.”

“Oh God, Ames stop…”

“And I’m sure she’d like a picture with him. So if you could, I don’t know… point her in his direction, please? If he’s here? And if you think he’s got time for it?” You were in the middle of burying your red face in your hands in embarrassment when you heard him laugh goodheartedly.

“He wouldn’t mind. He likes talking to his fans.”

“Really?”

“I’m sure he’ll be especially happy to meet a new fan. He loves the praise.” All three of you laughed a bit, and you couldn’t believe that you were currently chatting with an NHL player. He looked behind his shoulder for a moment, before moving aside and motioning to the bar. “He’s over at the bar somewhere, by himself for the moment. Better hurry before someone else beats you to it.” There was a certain lilt in his voice, was… was he teasing you? You smiled- but it probably looked pretty nervous- and glanced over to Ames.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She winked at you and nudged you in the direction of the bar. “Go!”

You bit your lip to hold back the growing smile at the thought of getting to talk to him, whether or not he remembered you at all. You looked up at Tito with a quick “Thank you!” before snaking around him and finding your way to the bar.

It didn’t take you long to notice him- he had a recognizable face, and you’d recognize him anywhere after looking at pictures of him for the whole ten-minute walk from the rink to this bar. He was standing at the bar, drink in his hand, and scrolling through his phone, a lock of dark hair drooping onto his forehead. His skin looked so golden in this light, as if he was back under the sun on a hot summer day- and it gave him a striking resemblance to the boy you knew ten years ago. There was something so different about seeing him in person rather than as a photo on your phone- it sparked up a weird feeling inside of you. If this was really him, it had been ten years since you last saw him, and a lot changes in ten years of somebody’s life. It may have been a strange thought but, wow, puberty really hit him in all the right places. He looked… wow. His cheekbones, his jawline,…. Okay, maybe it was kinda thirsty- ogling him like this- but you couldn’t help it.

Not only had he obviously changed physically, but he might be a completely different person. He was a professional athlete now- why would he need you anymore? That much attention changes a person. He might not be as kind as he was back then at eleven years old, he might not want to be friends with you or reconnect.

That is, if this even is him.

You swallowed down all your nerves and slid up next to where he was standing.

“You really made it to the NHL, huh?” No shit he made it to the NHL, you thought. What the fuck kind of conversation starter is that? It was a painstakingly slow moment as he directed his full attention away from his phone and towards you, and could practically feel the shot of confidence and adrenaline draining from your body when his pretty, confused eyes met yours. Oh, they’re a lot more light brown than they are green, you noticed, and you wondered if maybe all your memories of his “dazzling, gleaming green eyes” were wrong. You realized how strange you must look to him- you were just a random girl, approaching a super successful, let alone attractive, professional athlete at a bar. He probably thought you were trying to get a drink off of him or get into his pants for the clout.

Maybe you were expecting him to look up and immediately recognize you after ten years and sweep you up into a hug like in the movies, but it certainly didn’t seem like that’s what was coming.

“Yeah…?"

He looked confused- his eyebrows furrowed up a bit as he looked you over, sizing you up or checking you out or just trying to figure out why this stranger was approaching him about his career choices. Suddenly, you found it difficult to hold eye contact. Of course he didn’t remember you. Who needs to remember their one-month-long friendship when they’re busy getting into the NHL? This was really starting to make you feel pathetic for holding onto the memory of your super short friendship for so long.

Well, you officially wanted the floor to open up and swallow you. Right now would be great. "Okay… that probably sounded really, really strange if you don't remember me. Or if it’s not even you. Umm, we hung out together in 2000 something…. 2008? The summer of '08?” You laughed awkwardly, trying desperately to lighten the mood. “We were, like ten, eleven?" He still said nothing, just watching you with a strange, unreadable look in his eyes. Oh god, you wanted lightning to strike you dead, NOW. Literally anything would be better than standing here waiting for him to say something, anything! Even if he just says 'Who the fuck are you?' It would be better than silence. The silence was humiliating. "Okay, I’m so sorry. I probably got this all wrong and look like a weirdo." Right as you started to back away to run to find Amy and get the hell out of here, he held out a hand.

“Wait, wait!" His eyebrows shot up as if he couldn’t believe something, his outstretched hand reaching back to run through his hair. "Holy shit. Is it… (Y/N)?" Your heart almost stopped right there, the moment he said your name, either that or it was beating so fucking fast you couldn't feel it. He said your name. Your name. He knows your name.

"Yeah.” You watched his face relax into a gleaming smile. Like sunshine. It’s him. You knew it now. “So I’m not crazy? It's… it’s actually you? Mat?"

"It's actually me." For the first time since you set foot in the bar, you felt yourself relax completely, and although you hadn’t had any alcohol, you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Jesus, it was actually him. You crossed your arms on the bar and lay your forehead down on it. "Sorry, I just, it took me a second. I should have recognized you sooner.” You laughed a little bit into your arms at the sheer craziness of the situation. He still had that same warmth to him, the way he was always able to make you feel happy and safe, like when he distracted you on the beach while your parents were yelling inside or when he went too far trying to scare you with crabs and had to hug you and promise you he’d protect you from them.

“I can’t believe this.” You lifted your head to look back up at him, and he had a wide smile spreading across his face. “We actually ended up in the same city ten years later without even knowing each other’s last names.”

“Holy shit. Ten years? I feel old. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday.” Your heart soared at the idea that he still thinks of you- of the fun you two had together that summer. He took a sip from his drink, going quiet and just staring at his glass with a smile.

“You still think about it?”

“Sure, sometimes. I wonder how you’re doing, and where you ended up. I guess you ended up in New York.” He looked back up at you, eyes catching yours and gleaming all honey-hued golden brown and sending butterflies straight to your stomach. You could barely contain yourself, it didn’t matter that this was Mathew fucking Barzal you were talking to because to you he was still just your Mat, and that was even better. The sandy little boy with scraped knees. You couldn’t help but imagine how many people would kill to be in your position right now.

“I guess I just thought you would have forgotten about that summer, considering how successful you are now and stuff.”

He shook his head, smiling softer and reassuringly. “C’mon. I could never forget about that. It was my favorite summer to date.” He extended an arm and dropped it across your shoulder, pulling you in closer- no closer than two friends should be, but much closer than you ever thought you’d be to someone of his "social rank". It wasn’t any closer than you’d been in the past, but you were children back then. Now, you were young adults with hormones. He was a man. You would be crazy not to notice how warm and built he felt under his hoodie from obvious years of playing hockey, and there were dirty thoughts spinning around your head as soon as his large hand dropped to your arm and the dizzying scent of his cologne hit your nose. “You want a drink?”

You blushed and stuttered, shaking away any indecent thoughts. “Uh, I- I can’t. Yet.”

He seemed confused for a moment before laughing. “That’s right! You're a year younger than me, right? Aww, you’re still a baby. Can’t even drink yet.” He ruffled your hair gently, careful not to actually mess it up, and called the bartender over and asked for a glass of water, making sure to let him know that you weren’t old enough to drink yet. You could only laugh, remembering how much he loved to tease you back then. He obviously hasn’t changed in that department. “Ya know, you could’ve just DM'd me or something as soon as you found me. You didn’t need to dramatically approach me in a bar.”

“Well, I did kinda only find you tonight,”

His eyes went wide with a smile. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, like an hour ago. Listen...” You launched into your story as to how you came to realize that your long lost friend was NHL star Mathew Barzal, and how you didn't actually know who he was as a player. He actually listened intently, unlike any of the disappointing boyfriends you’d had in the past. Man, whatever girl he gets is gonna be lucky. “I wasn’t sure if it was you or not. I spent the entire walk here looking up pictures and trying to decide if I actually recognized you or if it was just my brain being hopeful.”

“Wow. I guess I’ve changed, huh?” He rubbed a hand across his face, still smiling that stupid, beautiful smile that made you all nervous, and your eyes followed, tracing over the familiarity of his features- from his eyes up to his hair and down to his chin, maybe lingering for a second too long on the way his lips looked so soft and tender right now, curled up at the corners into a little smirk.

“Not that much, actually.”

You hadn’t realized how intimate that moment seemed until he caught your gaze, smiling cheekily, and you were pretty sure he knew you were just checking him out. “Lucky for you, you got to skip past my awkward teenage years.” He lightened the mood, poking fun at himself like he knew how to do. Brushing the hazy hot feelings out of the air and blaming them on the rush of meeting your childhood friend after all these years, you reached for your water in order to cool the fire inside of you and the blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sure I would’ve loved to see that.”

You and Amy were over the fucking moon when you went home that night. You had exchanged Instagram handles and said your goodbyes to each of the men you had been talking with- she claimed to have been talking to Tito for the rest of the night and honestly, you’d believe anything at this point, after learning that your childhood romance- ahem, friendship- was with Mat Barzal. It took everything in you not to shriek like crazed fangirls. As soon as you got out of the bar, the realization finally hit you that you finally found Mat, and meanwhile, Amy was starstruck, having spent the night actually talking to NHL players and actually holding solid conversation.

“Holy shit please tell me everything! Right now!”

“Ames…” You could have told her what it was like to talk to him, disregarding anything in your past, the way he listened intently and made you feel like the only person in the world when his eyes were on you. You took her hands and looked into her eyes seriously, “Ames, we were right.” Okay, so much for not shrieking. Your friend threw her arms around you, jumping up and down for you. You couldn’t blame her, everything that happened tonight was crazy.

“You’re telling me that the kid you hung out with at ten years old has evolved into the one and only Mathew Barzal? Did he remember you?”

To be honest, it had taken everything in you not to try and drag him home with you or go home with him. He was intoxicating in all his warmth, the way his nose scrunched up, and his eyebrows arched when he smiled. The way he threw his head back when he laughed. The scent of his cologne had buzzed around your senses all night, clouding your judgment and making you want to say “fuck reconnecting as friends” and jump him right there. In fact, it still lingered around you after being pulled against his chest all night, and part of you wondered if it was the alcohol in his system, though not enough to make him drunk, that caused him to wrap his arm over your shoulder. If you had maybe harbored a tiny crush since your summer with him, it was heightened times 100 because of tonight.

You could tell that reconnecting with him- and eventually becoming friends again- was going to take a lot of self-control if you were gonna feel like this the whole time.

“Yeah. And he wants to catch up tomorrow. He said he’d DM me.” Amy was in the middle of shrieking in joy for you when, as if on cue, your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the first thing you saw after opening it was a message.

barzal97: Get home safe :)

“Girl, he loves you!” You laughed and shook your head as she shook your shoulder and patted your back, “You snagged yourself a hockey player!”

After you left, Mat didn’t see any reason to stay out longer. He almost couldn’t believe it- had someone slipped something in his drink? Was this just a dream? But then he opened Instagram and scrolled through your Instagram momentarily after DMing you and stopped on a picture of you and your friends, it was clear- he’d found you. You’d found him, more like. After ten goddamn years. It felt like a movie. You still had the same vibe, he could feel it in him the moment you were beside him. What was it…? Familiarity. Warmth. Comfort. Nostalgia. Whatever it was, it was you. After taking a moment to reflect on everything that had just happened, he was quick to finish his drink and find his friend, wanting to head home and prepare for his little meetup tomorrow.

As he was heading out the door with Tito, Mat knew he needed to confide in somebody. “You’ll never guess what happened.”

“Does it have something to do with that girl I sent over?”

“(Y/N)? You sent her over?”

“Yeah, I was talking with her friend. I noticed she didn’t come back after going to look for you.” Mat noticed the suggestive tone in his friend's voice and felt his face go pink at the thought of hiding away in a bathroom to make out- and maybe more- with you.

“No! Nothing like that. She was my friend when we were kids.” He had a serious look on his face, and Tito knew that Mat wasn’t kidding about this. “Really. We have a crazy story. We met ten years ago on vacation. We hung out for a month, and I haven’t heard from her since. I didn’t know her last name or anything, and she didn’t know mine, so it’s not like we could look for each other. But she found me.”

“Wow. She just said she was a fan.”

“Well, wouldn’t you think they were crazy if they told you that story.”

“It does sound like a movie.” He laughed a bit, patting Mat’s back. “So, what’s the deal with her now? Friend? Do you liiiike her? Do you like-like her?” The teasing tone in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“What are we, in middle school?” But he still shrugged, sighing. “I don’t know. We’re going out to catch up tomorrow.”

“Ooh.”

“Shut up.” He went silent for a moment, wondering over his question. Did he like you? He wasn’t sure. “Ya know, she’s with me in almost every photo from that summer. That’s how much we were together.”

“Well, if you guys hit it off, you should date. I don’t need a competitor for best friend.” It was a joke, Mat knew and smiled at it, but he honestly couldn’t shake the idea of dating you. No, no, he’s only feeling this way because he hasn’t seen you in a while. It’s nothing but a bunch of resurfacing memories.

Hopefully, anyway.

The two of you really did hit it off the next day. And the next. And the next. And the next. You still got along just as well as you did when you were young, and maybe even better, now that you were adults and had more interesting things to talk about. He was funny, even funnier than he was as a child, and despite your original thought that the fame of being in the NHL must have changed him, he was actually kind of modest and shrugged and smiled with a pink flush on his face when you brought up his accomplishments. It was easy to be with him. He could talk and talk about his life and still keep you comfortable, inviting you to tell your own story, gushing over accomplishments that felt so small to you.

And that one catch-up date ended up being months and months more of friendship.

Friendship with Mat was one of the best things that ever happened to you. He was the ideal friend, he listened to you and kept an eye on you and pushed you out of your comfort zone when it was necessary. He loved hearing you talk about things you enjoyed and tried his best to find joy in your hobbies, even if he thought some were funny or boring. He was sweet, endearing, teasing. And it wasn’t long before he began bringing you out on casual outings with some of his personal friends, gushing and getting really into telling the story of how you were separated for ten years and reunited by maybe fate, maybe luck, who knew.

The only problem was that you wanted him to kiss you.

You wanted him to kiss you when you went out with him and Tito and Amy on Christmas, singing carols together and teasing him, asking him to sing louder because you loved the sound. You wanted him to kiss you on New Years, when you stood hand in hand in Times Square, shivering and smiling with red cheeks, but instead settled for a hug. You wanted him to kiss you after returning from his first All Star game in January, you wanted to congratulate him on being an All Star, because he spent so much time praising you and you wanted him to know he was just as amazing. You wanted him to kiss you when he was drunk on his 22nd birthday, all red-faced and giggly and dancing in the nightclub with a red solo cup in his hand and that stupid snapback on that made him look like a frat boy but suited him so well. He was hugging you to his side with one arm and, even like this, you were just praying that he would lay a messy, drunk kiss onto your cheek.

You just wanted his lips on yours. So, so bad.

But despite that, behind Amy, who was still holding onto the title of best friend, he was always the one you went to when you needed comfort or a companion or a distraction, or just to talk about certain things. Things like this.

A week after his birthday, seven months into your friendship, you showed up at his door without warning, slumping against the doorframe when he opened it. “I have a problem.”

“With showing up unannounced? Yeah, I know.” He was joking and smiling, but maybe you missed it with how stressed you were. When you didn’t respond, he must have noticed the tired, strained look on your face and his happy expression dropped. He let you into his apartment, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. It wasn’t an odd thing in your friendship, he was always a touchy guy, especially when you were down, and you always welcomed it. He pulled you over to sit at the island in his kitchen and sat across from you. “What’s wrong?”

“I got a voicemail from my parents today.” You were already pulling out your phone to play the voicemail for him. Ever since that one month on the beach eleven years ago now, you and your family had been going back every summer for a week, up until four years ago, when you suddenly had a summer job and couldn’t afford to take a week off. You missed the beach, sure, but you definitely didn’t miss the way your parents would always find a way to argue and fight. Now, they were calling you and asking if you could come along this year.

“I think I’m missing the problem here. What’s so bad about a beach trip?”

You sighed and lifted your head. “Well, I want to go, and I already got my boss’s okay to take that week off. I really miss the beach. But my family is just… so overwhelming sometimes. I could try to hang out alone the whole time, but I’ll go crazy before the week is over.” There was a pause as Mat leaned back in thought, considering his options. Was this crazy? Was he crazy for doing this? Definitely. But, fuck it, ya know?

“I can come with.”

You scoffed. "No way, I'm sure you have other plans."

"Not really. Not that week." He saw the look on your face, and he really didn’t want you to have to deal with your family all alone for a week. "Look, I'll pay for my share of the trip, and I won't bother anybody." You laughed. There's no way Mat could go a week without bothering anybody. He laughed along, glad to see you happy. "Seriously. If you need somebody, I'll be there."

And that was it. That was how you ended up on a beach trip with the one and only Mathew Barzal, eleven years after you first met..

The first few hours of the trip down were blurry. Your family, in true vacationer nature, decided that all of you, your parents, siblings, you and Mat, should carpool together. So, at 8:00 AM, you loaded into the car, your parents up front, obviously, your younger twin siblings behind them so they could be monitored, and you and Mat in the very back. This was definitely a bad idea, 100%, but you couldn’t help the giddy feeling that sparked up inside of you when you told your family you would be bringing a boy along. Or the feeling you got when you looked at Mat sitting next to you, looking worn out and sleepy after six hours of travel-rest stop-travel-gas stop, with four more hours of travel left and suggested he try to get some sleep. You slept through the rest of the day, only waking up for bathroom breaks and rest stops, until eventually, you woke up around six in the evening with your head on Mat’s shoulder and his body angled towards yours, snoring softly and looking ever so soft.

“Mat, Mat wake up.” You shook him gently, laughing at the way he was drooling a little bit. He blinked his pretty eyes open and looked around, a little dazed.

“Are we there?” His sleepy, mumbling voice was so cute.

“Technically, yeah. But we can’t get into the rental house until tomorrow morning. So we found a place to sleep.” He groaned, his eyes slipping shut in protest, and showed no sign of moving from his seat. “Come on, you’d rather sleep in a real bed than this car, right?”

Those words had him slipping out of the car, his eyes half shut and holding your hand loosely, dragging his feet the whole way as you led the way to your shared room. He looked so cute in this outfit, grumpy and soft in a tee shirt and shorts and his hair looking extra messy. There was nothing you wanted to do more than sleep, but one detail had you stopping in your tracks as you opened the door. Your parents had paid for three rooms- one for them, your siblings, and you and Mat- and of course, since your parents hated each other and apparently can’t stand to sleep in the same bed anymore, you and Mat got stuck in the room with one bed. Mat didn’t seem to care though, as he dropped his slides by the door and immediately collapsed in the bed, falling asleep almost immediately after mumbling for you.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get in...”

As you dropped down beside him in bed an appropriate distance from him and tried to ignore the sleeping beauty beside you, you began wondering if this whole trip was a bad idea. No, no way, you quickly pushed that thought away. This was Mat, your Mat, and you’re actually on the beach again with him. You fell asleep that night with a smile on your face, listening to the soft snores of the man beside you and trying to imagine what your week had in store for you.

Realistically, there's only one thing you can predict about this trip- it’s gonna take a lot of self-control.

#i feel like im really gonna be proud of this fic #smile like sunshine #mat barzal #mathew barzal #nhl writing #mine #my post #op #fanfiction #imagine #fic

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demonalghul · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have any headcanons for Starfire?

Yes! Though these are mostly random and kinda silly. I don’t specialize in the art of Starfire so forgive me if these are terrible.

I would like to mention that I don’t ship dickkory in the CANON UNIVERSE. DC threw this relationship in the trash, you hate to see it. However I 1000% ship them in the shows/out of the main timeline. Mar’i is soooo adorable i love her

I know it’s literal world war three with the dickbabs and dickkory shippers, but oracle and starfire can and should get along. Think of all the dick jokes they can make??

Jokes aside, babs and kory would have some real heart to heart conversations. They’d start start talking about something super lighthearted, and the next thing you know they’re bawling their eyes out. They’re friends like that.

Kory shamelessly watches animated shows. She-ra was the first that came to mind. I mean, it’s literally the perfect show for her. You’ve got an adora-ble girl turn into an eight foot tall princess with long, flowy, magical hair!! What more can you want in a show tbh-

Kory definitely hides things in her hair. “Her hair is full of secrets!” Damn right. It’s like a multiverse of its own; no one knows what they’ll find in it. Good storage space, really.

I think she used to model?? LOVE THAT FOR HER. She deserves to be on every front cover!!

Remember when kory was in damian’s teen titans for a very short time? Although damian was tough to put up with, she still showed him empathy when no one else in the team would. What i’m trying to say is that kory would be out flying, carrying an embarrassed damian on her shoulders. She thinks it might help him feel more like an actual robin. Damian threatened her multiple times, but she isn’t the slightest bit afraid.

Whenever bruce is mad at one of the batkids, they immediately go hide behind kory. Kory, like the queen she is, covers for them every time. Bruce is yet to know where his kids keep disappearing to.

Scrapbooks! She’d have a lot of them. Going through them makes her sad, but remembering all her fun adventures with the team fills the hole in her heart. God DC needs to put her in more series immediately. We’re being robbed of our kory kontent :/

Her notebooks would be covered in cute little doodles! She’s not a professional artist, but she’s definitely one of those people that can make a stick figure look like a masterpiece. She would, without a doubt, include some of these drawings in her birthday cards!

I can see her having a blog. Probably about fashion/beauty tips so everyone can be the most stylish version of themselves. She’d give you tips on how to build your self confidence, how to make cheap outfits look just as amazing as designer ones, and some really good skincare advice as well.

BONUS: Dick being carried bridal style by kory wherever he goes. He loves it. She thinks it’s adorable. You can’t help but admire their relationship.

I hope you like!

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im-whatchamccallit · 4 years ago

Text

Their S/O Helping with Their Music//3Racha

(A/N: This is based on the Hongjoong+Mingi reactions I did two days ago if you’d like to read those. Also, I have a notification for an extra message in my ask box but nothing shows up. So if you requested something, and have been waiting forever for it, I’m sorry but I literally can’t find it. But please feel free to request again!)

Let me preface by saying 3Racha have a great work dynamic, mainly because they’re all proficient, if not experts, when it comes to music. Because they all know what to do and how to do it, everything is fun and effortless. That being said, let’s talk about why 3Racha would be STRESSED having their s/o try to help them make music.

For starters, Chris would say yes to your offer to help. He thought it’d be a cute, fun, nice couplely activity to do together. But Chris is also very serious about his music, so watching you nearly screw up the melodies and beats he spent weeks making was enough to give him a panic attack.

Chris would ask you to just write some lyrics for the song, giving you a basic idea of what the comeback would be and the vibe he needs the lyrics to fit, honestly just needing you to not screw anything else up. And, thankfully, you didn’t this time. Sure, the lyrics needed a bit of touching up, being a bit too romantic for a song about spiraling into the deep, dark abyss we call life but, dammit, he was proud of you.

He’d feel bad that writing is all you’ve done since you got there, knowing you wanted to contribute a lot more, but being a complete novice in a room with nearly completed songs that only needed editing was dangerous. Chris would push aside that project and start a new one, ushering you over so that he can teach you the basics, giving you the opportunity to create a song of your own now that it’s clear Chris doesn’t really need the help.

Was he stressed out because it took you 3 hours to understand the difference between a mixer and controller? Yes.

Would he ever let you come back to help him again? Maybe, but only when they were on a break and didn’t have to focus on deadlines and promotions.

Changbin is a lot less lenient than Chris. You learned that the first time you visited him at the studio, only to be scolded as if you were a random person that broke into his home, and that’s when you learned the most important rule of working with Changbin:

HE IS SPEAR B WHEN HE’S IN THE STUDIO AND SPEAR B IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!

Spear B doesn’t coddle you and do the work for you like Changbin most likely would, so you had to make sure you had some ways to contribute to helping him or else you’d be gone within a second.

Changbin knew you were a great pianist and had a particularly great ear for music, more so in terms of vocal abilities, and you’re notes honestly helped him correct his songs the way he needed them to be. So, after giving you his typical “no fooling around, one strike and you’re out” warning, you were in.

You were both pretty productive, but every time Changbin glanced over to you, hearing a tune that was unfamiliar or, if familiar, was from a movie or video game, he’d eye you suspiciously.

He knew you were getting a bit restless, and that your boredom was taking over, so he tried to do whatever possible to keep you entertained while also keeping the progress of his work going. From asking you to make an outro for an unreleased (and already completed) song, to having you revise lyrics he wrote months ago and hasn’t batted an eye at since.

Not even 10 minutes after being assigned those task, you were finished, letting out a groan followed by a whiny ‘I’m bored’. For an amateur, you worked fast.

At this point, Changbin begs you to give him a few more minutes with editing, knowing he needed to get it checked over by Chan and Jisung afterwards anyways, but still wanting to complete it on his own. But you continued to complain, your voice echoing in the space as you asked him if you can start on something new, hopefully creating something for 3Racha or Stray Kids to perform in the future, your rambling cut short by a loud and obviously annoyed ‘Do what you want! Just let me finish this!’.

This is how you began to work in silence, you pressing away at the keys to form a strictly melancholy tune, Changbin finally done editing. When he looked at you, he felt his heart sink. You were only trying to help. It wasn’t like you were goofing off or distracting him, you just wanted to do even more work on top of the work you already finished, but he was so worried about his deadline that he took it out on you. Again, Spear B wasn’t your boyfriend and you both knew that, but that doesn’t mean Spear B had to be a dick to you. You felt Changbin readjust your hands so you were now playing a more upbeat melody, one that fit his style just right, not giving him any attention until he called you ‘jagiya’, a smile forming on your face as he attempted to silently apologize for his anger.

(I don’t even like guys younger than me but I’d D I E for Jisung ;-;)

Jisung was TERRIFIED when you offered to help. He would contemplate saying no to you, especially with you already here at the studio, standing in front of him with doe-like eyes filled with determination. But that wasn’t what scared him. What scared him was watching that determination disappear after a few minutes with him.

Considering Jisung is the main lyricist of 3Racha, he puts his all into his words, that includes his emotions. This song in particular was a bit dark compared to his usual lighthearted behavior at home. You’ve never sat in on his writing sessions, and he was positive this would be a terrible introduction for you to experience it, but he let you in anyways, watching you practically skip towards the spinning chairs as you prepared to witness the great J.One in action.

And, my god, were you shocked.

You’ve seen Jisung cry plenty of times, sure. But you’ve never seen him like this, silently sobbing over his phone as he typed out lyrics, your eyes trained on him despite the fact you were supposed to be improving your mixing. He’d be so deep in the unspoken emotions he felt, finally letting them spill into what would be his next hit, when your voice interrupted him with a soft ‘are you okay?’.

This was the last way he wanted you to see him, he honestly felt pathetic. So, in typical Jisung fashion, he gave a few sniffles, wiping his face with one hand before bringing back his usual grin, trying to convince you he was fine. But you weren’t convinced and your face showed it, his smile faltering as he reassured you he was alright, encouraging you to keep practicing until you were proficient enough to add more instruments to the current melody.

Jisung tried to suppress his emotions from then on, only making you more anxious as you played around with the bass and drum settings on the keyboard, giving up and instead asking to review his lyrics so far. It was an unexpected request, and it made him a bit insecure considering he wasn’t even close to finished, but he allowed you to take a look anyways.

This was the first time anyone outside of 3Racha has seen his writing process, so he couldn’t help the anxiety building in his chest as your eyes skimmed each word. If he had written it all beforehand, maybe you wouldn’t have to see him with puffy, red eyes. Maybe you’d think he was cool just helping you compose so he can find the right beat to perform it to you.

He had so many thoughts running through his mind, almost freaking out until you handed him his phone back, a blank look on your face while his eyes watched you expectantly.

“The lyrics are obviously showing sadness but you worded them in a way that makes it seem like you’re angry and defensive. Don’t let your sadness be an undertone when it’s the main theme of the song.”

It wasn’t something one would describe as philosophical, but it made Jisung feel as if he were speaking to Ralph Emerson himself, your words an eye opener that did nothing but helped him transcend (pun intended) out of the box of emotions he lived in. There was just one problem...

“I don’t know where to start...” he admitted, staring down at the words he wrote as if he’d never seen them before in his life.

But you just offered a small smile and abandoned the half-asses harmonies you created before turning your attention to him, reminding him that you came to help and, got dammit, you were gonna help.

It wasn’t what either of you expected, to be sitting and talking about deep topics that brought tears to both your eyes, but you managed to write something both powerful and energetic while still true to Jisung’s emotions. He felt silly at that point for getting so worked up over you helping out, but after all the crying he’d done, he decided that would be a wrap for the day, not even bothering to finish with the actual beat, saying a playful ‘I’ll ask Chan to do it’ as you both left the studio.

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