#and go 'I love my brother shadow' or 'i miss my sister maria'

[seangardnerxiv]

Shadow and Maria's Complex Relationship

FOR DISCLOSURE: this thread is going to be discussing the complexities of Shadow and Maria’s relationship based on many different factors. Though I will be including the romantic interpretation (NOT a sexual one – I do not support nor condone sexualizing these two, nor most of the characters in Sonic, as they are almost all minors) as a potential, I will not be arguing to assign a definite label to their relationship – I will, in fact, be doing exactly the opposite (I am also not interested in engaging in shipping discourse over Sonic the Hedgehog characters). I would simply like to disclose that that will be discussed in case the topic upsets you and you would prefer to stop reading now. I accept this post may not be received well by some.

SPOILERS FOR SONIC X SHADOW GENERATIONS

So I've had to break out my Tumblr for this - my usual haunt is Twitter/Bluesky, but those don't really allow for longform posts. This is also a major departure from my usual FFXIV posting, so apologies to anyone who follows me for that.

Sonic x Shadow Generations recently dropped, alongside the short animations “Dark Beginnings” as well as the (non-canonical) manga “The Jet Black Hedgehog: Shadow the Hedgehog.” With it, discourse surrounding Shadow and Maria’s relationship has kicked up again, largely in two parties – that Shadow and Maria held a sibling relationship, or that Shadow and Maria held romantic feelings for one another (some people have also argued that Shadow is her uncle, or Maria is his mother, but I won’t be discussing those views). There are arguments for both drawn from a variety of sources – I will do my best to present both (if there are others I've missed, please feel free to comment and I will add them).

For siblings:

This Twitter post of artwork for Dark Beginnings has the following alt text: “Shadow and Maria reach out for one another in an infinite abyss (as long-lost siblings would) with the Moon and the Space Colony ARK in the background."

The manual for Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) describes Maria as “like a sister to Shadow.” I have also seen another screenshot of a different manual that states that Shadow as "like a brother to Maria," but I've been unable to find which manual it is. (EDIT: It’s a Prima Games manual, not written by Sega)

Gerald refers to Shadow as “son” during the climax of SxSG.

For romantic:

Maria saying “I love you” in the Japanese version of SxSG uses the kanji “ai shiteru,” whilst her “I love you” in the Japanese version of the manga uses “daisuki.” Whilst it can be used for familial relations, it is apparently very uncommon for both of these to be used outside of romantic intent.

Shiro Maekawa – the original creator of Shadow and Maria – based them (or at least parts of them) off of a romance manga known as “Please Save My Earth” (with Maria sharing the Japanese voice actress for the female lead from the anime), and has frequently supported them together, often retweeting romantic art and posts of Shadow and Maria.

In a recent interview from Sega, Maria touching Shadow’s face in Dark Beginnings was equated to Beauty and the Beast.

For Tanabata – a Japanese festival celebrating the meeting of the deities Orihime and Hikoboshi, and the separation of them as lovers – Sonic Channel posted artwork of Shadow and Maria reading the story beneath the stars. Sonic Channel has also published fanart for Valentine’s Day relating to Shadow and Maria (although they publish a lot of fanart).

Before I go any further, when the topic of Shadow and Maria in a romantic lens comes up, many of the same criticisms arise that I do not believe are fairly levied – namely accusations regarding their age, species, and familial ties. I would like to address – and debunk – these three before we go any further. Keep in mind while you read these – this is not meant to convince you that their relationship was one thing over another, but only to provide validity to a subjective point of view I feel is unfairly stigmatized.

“It’s incest because Shadow is Maria’s brother/uncle(?).”

While there were notions of family stated by both Maria and Gerald, Shadow was grown in a tube with alien DNA and has zero blood relation to the Robotnik family. Whilst there are abstract labels of “like a sister” or “sibling coding” that are only ever applied in a meta sense, neither of them define their relationship in such a way within the lens of the universe. And it is not as if the topic never arises - in Shadow Generations, Maria herself likens young Abraham Tower as akin to her little brother, but she makes no such distinction with Shadow.

“Sibling coding” is ultimately a nothing statement, and unless a proper adoption is made, it does not magically turn romantic feelings towards the two involved into incest. Frames of reference are often informed by what young people are familiar with, and they sometimes lack the proper tools to acknowledge that their feelings towards each other are more complex than they first believe - to say that this is something that potentially occurred with Shadow and Maria is not outlandish, and not a concept unique to Sonic as a series.

Similar examples to this include Clive and Jill from Final Fantasy XVI (Jill is accepted into the Rosfield household and raised alongside Clive and his brother, only to later enter a romantic relationship with him as an adult), Nero and Kyrie from Devil May Cry (Nero is fostered by Kyrie's family and considers Kyrie a sister initially, only for her to become his love interest as adults) and Sidon and Yona from The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Sidon grows up perceiving Yona as a sister, only to realize his feelings for her are more complex later on). None of these are incestuous relationships, nor is Shadow and Maria’s were it to be romantic.

“It’s bestiality because Shadow is an animal.”

Bestiality is applicable to regular animals that do not hold human sentience of thought, as they are unable to consent to a relationship, like a dog or cat. Shadow is not this, nor are any of the anthropomorphic characters within the Sonic games - were you to change the anthropomorphic animals in Sonic into humans, basically nothing about the series' content would change. All of them are completely sound-minded beings that are essentially just people who look different. Shadow is not Maria’s pet, he is her fully sentient friend that holds the same degree of thought as she does – given that Shadow’s entire arc is about finding his purpose in life, degrading him to simply a lab animal rather than acknowledging he is a person defeats that entire arc (something the manga also touches upon).

A lot of people also cite Sonic and Elise from Sonic ‘06 (namely the scene where Elise kisses the deceased Sonic) as a reason why Shadow and Maria should not be done - while I think it’s valid if you didn’t like watching a human girl kissing Sonic the Hedgehog, I maintain that a good chunk of that disdain stemmed from two major reasons:

Elise was very poorly characterized in her game. She existed to constantly get kidnapped and be saved by Sonic, and so both the relationship and the kiss came off more like pandering than something earned.

Sonic '06 had a bizarrely realistic artstyle for the human characters, whilst all of the animal characters retained their cartoonish appearances. This clash of artstyles looked its worst when Elise kissed Sonic at the game's climax.

Maria, however, does not fall into these pitfalls. She does not exist to be purely a love interest for Shadow - she’s certainly not someone for him to save, as the entire inciting event of Shadow's character is his inability to save her when she saves him.

For a frame of reference, Shadow is more akin to an alien from Star Wars – a setting where humans also exist. It is not bestiality for a Human to hold a relationship with a Twi’lek, as both races are fully anthropomorphic and sentient. On a similar note, Beauty and the Beast is not considered bestiality either, even though the Beast bears obvious animalistic traits. Some people have also entertained the notion of Rouge and Topaz from Sonic X, even though the latter is human. This is all the same principle, and none of it is bestiality.

“It’s creepy because Maria is young.”

Shadow – while said to be ageless – is not an adult, and to imply that he is one is a fundamental misunderstanding of Shadow’s character – whilst there are many instances where he demonstrates maturity on some levels, he has shown much immaturity since his inception in Sonic Adventure 2 (his desire to destroy the world out of revenge for Maria), and his most recent storyline in Generations involves his naïve desire to change Maria and Gerald’s fates (or rather, an initial indifference to what it will bring). Not only that, but his time on the ARK was mired in confusion over the point of his existence – Maria was the one that helped him field through his confusion, and was arguably the more mature one between the two of them. We can safely say that Shadow is not an adult character, nor is he ever presented as one in the lens of the game.

As the closest thing Sonic likely has to an equal in both body and mind (Sonic holds his own immaturities similar to Shadow), he can likely be placed mentally close to his age of fifteen. This is reinforced by the leaked transcript of Sonic ‘06 that refers to Shadow as 15 (the red squared text in this image).

Maria has no canon age established in game material, but Sonic X lists her as 12. 15 and 12 is the same age gap as Sonic and Amy respectively.

In addition to that, many people have claimed that Shadow is over 50 years old, but this is only true of his chronological existence, not the time he has been conscious and aging. He spent 50 years stuck in cryosleep, and awoke exactly how he was when he was placed in there.

A similar example would be Aang and Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender - Aang was frozen at the age of 12, and awoke 100 years later. Nobody, however, tried to claim that he was 112 years too old to kiss the 14 year old Katara, as Aang was physically and mentally still a 12 year old upon awakening - most people who watched the show were also actively rooting for these two characters to kiss, which they did at the show's finale. It's the same principle regarding Shadow - he is 50 chronologically, not 50 in mind or body.

If we’d like to really get into it, I would point out that nearly every character in the lens of Sonic is in and around Maria’s age range (according to the Sonic Channel). As stated previously, Sonic is 15. Amy is 12, Knuckles is 16, Rouge is 18, Blaze and Silver are 14, etc. Nobody bats an eye at notions of romance between any of these people (not that I’m saying they should inherently).

Romantic intent between minors is not inherently viewed as a bad thing - see the examples of Aang and Katara or Clive and Jill above, or for an in house example, consider the canonical (to Sonic X at least) relationship between the 8 year old Tails and Cosmo - yet for some reason when it comes to Shadow and Maria, a relationship is stigmatized.

To reiterate in the wake of the last point, my discussions of romantic intent ARE NOT SEXUAL IN NATURE. As I acknowledge these are minors, any notions of that are completely off the table, and I do not agree with anyone who would imply their relationship was a sexual one. I want to make that unmistakably clear.

My major takeaway from observing both the Sonic fanbase and those on Sonic Team seems to be that in western circles, Shadow and Maria as siblings is the popular perception, whilst in eastern circles, they are more commonly perceived romantically. But ultimately, Shadow and Maria’s relationship seems to have many contradictory signals that makes it hard to pinpoint a concrete definition, especially in the most recent releases – and I believe that this is fully intentional.

Shiro Maekawa has stated in DMs has stated this regarding their relationship when asked if he saw them as siblings or love interests (translated from Japanese):

“I think they have a special bond that is unique to them that doesn’t fall into either of those categories. Just my personal opinion.”

From the way that the two are written post-Sonic Adventure 2, this appears to be a sentiment that is fully carried forward – their relationship is more nuanced than a canonical label would make it. Maria was the only person who made Shadow feel loved, and Maria unquestionably loved him back. What kind of love that was is up to the viewer, especially given that Maria died when they were both young, before they even had a chance to expand upon their relationship, if that was ever on the table – not that they needed to, given that their bond seems to have transcended both labels. Maria was the only one who acknowledged Shadow as more than an experiment or a weapon, and Shadow was her rock in an environment where she was isolated away from her family and home. Maria was Shadow's person, and still remains that in death.

To disclose for me personally (in case it was not obvious), I have always interpreted their relationship as romantic - or at least having romantic implications - ever since playing Sonic Adventure 2 Battle and Shadow the Hedgehog when I was a kid. I have both a fiancé and a sibling, and the way they treat each other is far more evocative of how I treat the former than the latter (especially in Dark Beginnings – I do not imagine my sibling through a shoujo filter while I wistfully think about cuddling them in a field of flowers). I do not take the awkwardly placed alt text verbiage from the Sonic Twitter account, used to fake-argue with the Wendy’s Twitter account, as gospel for anything, and I think that treating it as a damning disproval is silly. Had she lived, I believed the complex feelings they held would have been identified as romantic down the line. The relationship always just read as too intimately charged for me to perceive as siblings (it still does especially in the wake of seeing how she touches and speaks to him), even before I had a serious relationship. I think that arguing the nitty gritty over Twitter alt text and translations is silly, as all it took for me to takeaway that the relationship was still romantic was to play the game, watch the animations, and read the manga for Shadow Generations - but that's just me.

That said, I will concur that if you are weirded out by romantic notions between the two of them, that is completely understandable, and I would never argue that you should not feel what you feel for yourself. The sibling viewpoint is also wholly valid an interpretation, with or without word from a meta source. Though she had her grandfather and later Abe, she was largely alone on the ARK away from a family that she clearly loved and missed, and it’s not unusual to presume that Shadow filled in the role of a brother for her. I will also acknowledge that many things I have not mentioned - such as Shadow blushing at Maria calling him cool, or her saying "I love you" in general - are not inherently indicative of romantic intent, and can be read as fully platonic interpretations, and I find those that try to state that the romantic interpretation is the objective one just as irritating as those that state the sibling interpretation is the objective.

My intent is only to dispute the idea that romantic interpretations, and the people who hold them, deserve to be scrutinized. The pairing is completely innocent, and the treatment people have received for believing them to be romantic is obscene. Sweeping blanket statements have been made to insult all who do (some going as far as to wish death and harm upon them), all just based on subjective viewpoints held by people who see them platonically. The fact that there is so much discourse surrounding this topic, and that there is evidence enough on both ends to make an argument, means that Sega has intentionally left the relationship up to interpretation - including the romantic take.

Everyone unclutch your pearls.

But with all that said, I will reiterate that this post was not meant to convince anyone of one thing or another, but rather that both interpretations of their relationship are valid, as it is essentially a secret third thing that transcends both labels and is special only to them. Strictly defining their relationship as “siblings” or “love interests” (even as someone who perceives them romantically, I would never want that to be definitively confirmed for this reason) is deconstructing what is perhaps the most nuanced part of a series that does not always tend to be terribly nuanced, and a definition matters far less than acknowledging what Maria means to Shadow in the present – he is who he is because of her, and because of that, he is now living a life for himself. Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) ended in a way that had Shadow let Maria go, and Shadow Generations ends with him carrying her forward with him after accepting her loss. She was, and will always be, the person who loved Shadow - however you define that love is up to you.

Nothing has ever been hard confirmed by Sega, no matter how much either side wants to pretend it has been.

In summary, both points of view regarding Shadow and Maria’s relationship are simultaneously true and not true – it is a matter of interpretation according to the viewer what their feelings towards each other were, yet their relationship in the lens of what it is now after the tragedy of their existence (even before Maria died) is purposefully indefinable, and it should remain that way. Nobody should ever try to say that Shadow and Maria are definitively something - that goes for both points of view. I doubt it will, but I hope this goes towards removing the stigmas towards one of the more nuanced parts of this series, as nuance in Sonic the Hedgehog - frankly - does not come along very often, and it would be nice if that were encouraged rather than smothered.

Thank you for reading.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Leads Sister-in-Law! 

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Chapter 8

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader 

Arranged marriage AU

Warnings: panic attack, vomit, self-harm (biting thumb hard enough until it bleeds), slight blood, mention/allusions to murder, very slight suicide  ideation, one (1) suggestive line, implied child abuse, Maria being lowkey creepy (again), uncertainty about loving future kids, please tell me if I missed any.

NOTE: while I am happy that people enjoy this story, please stop blowing up my inbox about when the next chapter(s) will come out. Or telling me I should hurry up.  Thank you.

NOTE #2: there isn't going to be any romance involving Roxana or any of the other characters and the reader.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS/TOXIC ACTIONS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/ BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACTION WITH NOR REBLOG FANDOM STUFF DNI (MAYBE ANIMAL BLOGS ARE OKAY BECAUSE THEY’RE CUTE). PLEASE DO NO NOT SPAM LIKE MY POSTS.

= = = 

Roxana’s heels clack against the tiled hallway as she glides through, making way to her room. Blond waves gently bouncing with each step, the girl can’t hold back the scowl that tears at her lips. Brows furrowed, her thoughts were full of the recent events - the dinner. 

She didn’t mean to intrude. As a matter of fact, while curious, she had no intention of doing more than taking a quick glance - to see if what Jeremy said was true, that Dion Agriche was indeed having dinner with his poor, pitiful bride. 

Jeremy got there before her.

Hiding within the shadows, the boy was glaring daggers into the second eldest son. So engrossed with the scene presented to him, Jeremy didn’t notice Roxana as she got closer and closer. No, the brash boy had announced himself before she could even pat his shoulder. Like a wild boar, he interrupted your dinner, uncaring for how it made him look. Not that he ever did.

And perhaps out of pity on your behalf, or sick curiosity to see how everything pans out, she showed herself as well. 

An hour prior to the incident Roxana and Jeremy talked about you, the newest family member. She wasn’t the one who brought you up, but rather Jeremy. Her younger half-brother had asked her what she thought about the situation. It was the first time he asked. 

‘Well… It is strange. I thought that father would have waited longer before finding Dion a wife, much less holding the wedding.’

‘Yeah,’ Jeremy agrees, a borderline sneer on his face, ‘but it’s stupid. She won’t last long.’ 

‘Shorter than a month?’

‘No, longer. But I’m not sure how much longer. Still, to be married to that bastard… She's fucked. Pretty sure she’s begging God to kill her already, or to keep him away and indifferent.’ 

The blond beauty stared at her brother in question. ‘This isn’t like you, Jeremy. Did you meet her before or is it because Dion is the one involved?’ 

He doesn’t answer immediately, grumbling out words she didn’t catch. ‘Watch, she’s going to puke in disgust soon.’ Blue eyes narrowing in annoyance, Roxana only becomes more confused. What’s with this sudden interest with a sacrificial bride? 

‘Jeremy,’ she says, gingerly patting his head, ‘This is the first time you’ve shown interest in anyone. Why is that?’ Asking him directly, she hopes that she’ll easily draw answers from him. But, for once, he doesn’t budge. It’s concerning. 

‘Xana, I heard they’re going to have dinner together later today. Do you think that guy will show up?’ Ignoring her question, he asks his own. A frown tugs at her coral lips. But seeing how aggravated he is, she decides to humor him. Just this once. 

‘I’m not sure. If it was on father’s orders, then yes, of course. His word is law.’ 

‘What makes you so sure he’ll listen to all?’

She blinks at him, taken aback. It wasn’t often she gets rendered speechless, especially by her own younger brother. But his response also amuses her - hearing his resentment towards the twenty-year-old was always amusing.. 

‘Xana, he’s crazy. It’s only going to get worse.’

Before Roxana could respond, she got called away to Lant’s office, the butler bowing nervously after he brought the news. 

Returning to the present, the blond lets out a deep sigh, a headache forming the longer she thinks about it. This wasn’t how the story went. There wasn’t a grand wedding for any of the Agriche family members - the closest thing was when Jeremy kidnapped Sylvia, and even then, that couldn’t be considered romantic.  

Nothing in the story was romantic. 

…not like her brother’s marriage to you was either. 

Nothing made sense and it’s bothersome. Concerning even, for the moment you entered this play, she became unsure of when or if Cassis will show up - what if nothing follows the storyline at all, no matter how small? She knows he exists, she saw him at the wedding. Shining silver hair that reminds her of the moon and golden eyes that were filled to the brim with caution towards her family and the wedding, the male lead of this story exists. 

But you didn’t. 

Maybe in the original work, you did, as a nameless background character. Faith unknown and unimportant, you somehow stumbled across the stage, entangled in strings that now control your every move. It worries her - you worry her. Roxana can’t tell if you’re friend or foe, if you’ll survive and stay sane, if you’ll die soon, if she should consider taking you under her wing, seeing how you were nothing more than a victim. 

But she doesn’t have that luxury. Ensuring her own survival was hard enough - how could she take care of a second person? Why should she bother herself with you? 

You don’t serve any other purpose than being arm candy, a woman seen as nothing more than an incubator by your father-in-law. She doubts Dion cares for you; during the planning period he didn’t act out of character. He acted the same around her, still the annoying son of a bitch he’s always been. 

…but, a few days before the wedding he kept his distance. Unconcerned with her presence, he made a few last minute purchases. Away from the prying eyes of Lant, Dion also added a secret guest - the doctor known as Ash Katopodis. 

She heard a rumor that he also sent the redhead to you instead of the doctor Lant had appointed. The fifteen-year-old had found it strange once word reached her ears, brushing it to the side after concluding it was gossip for gossip sake. While it was bold of the servants to say such things, Roxana saw no point in punishing them for their senseless rumors - it had nothing to do with her. If they wanted to play with their lives with risky talk, then that was on them.

Upon reaching her room, she stops short of opening the door, manicured nails tapping against the door handle. She didn’t mean to intrude on your alone time with the brute. Yet she did and the sight of Dion in such a domestic setting made her sick. 

Disgust threatening to tip over the scale, it’s hard for her not to sneer at the mere memory of it. Domesticity does not suit Dion. He does not deserve it. Playing house with an unwilling girl, dressed in pure white as the veil hid her anxiety and fright laid within her eyes and painted on her lips. Scared and left hopeless as her family watched as she kissed the monster, powerless.

The holy church in which the wedding was held became corrupted when the second Lant Agriche picked it out, Maria fussing over the details. Who sits where, ‘gently’ probing your mother into agreeing with the dress the third wife had picked, your makeup and hairstyle, the fucking lingerie until Sierra pointed out how weird it was for the mother-in-law to pick out such an erotic and intimate thing for the girl who was to be her daughter-in-law. 

During the ceremony, Jeremy had kept mumbling to himself, clearly done with the whole ordeal. Obviously, Roxana was as well, but kept a pretty smile on, greeting you after the vows were said and said her goodbyes as you were dragged away to the bridal chamber. Only to find the morning after by Hana that you didn’t go there, instead led into the lion’s den that is Dion’s room.

How… odd. 

No… what was odder was that you didn’t have separate rooms. Emily had told her as such out of the blue, preparing her breakfast. She questioned it then, and it’s only weirder, more worrisome the longer she thinks about it.

She shakes the memories away. It wasn’t her life. She had enough trouble on her plate already - she couldn’t possibly add you to the list of her neverending responsibilities she’s forced to juggle. She could pity you, but never love you. Touch you but never hold you. Talk to you but never make a genuine connection as sisters should. 

She should stop with this foolish nonsense. 

Turning the handle, she glides right in, letting the door shut behind her. Emily had retired for the night, and the blond also ordered Hana to do the same. After all, Lant had given Dion another mission, and the favorite son had to prepare to leave in the morning, too busy to bother you. 

… why am I so focused on her…?

The moonlight lights up her room through the glass doors that lead to the terrace. With a huff, she sits in her vanity, and starts to remove her makeup with removal cream. It’s greasy as her dainty fingers spread it across her face, each action copied by the mirror. It’s quiet.

Her thoughts refuse to shut up, however. 

‘What’s going on with Lant…? Choosing a daughter-in-law from a nearly unheard of family? Do they have something he wants and only used this marriage  as a means to get closer? Most likely, but why?’

A frown tugs at her lips, face completely bare after she pats it down with a face towel. Ruby eyes stare into the reflection before her, and Roxana only sees frustration and confusion. She can’t rely on her memories of the story anymore. 

She won’t be sure until the faithful day when her father kidnaps Cassis Pedelian, the Blue Heir. And even then, how could she be sure that it would be the same Cassis Pedelain that was mentioned in the novel? The same goes for his sister, Sylvia. 

“...things are getting complicated.” Standing, her feet take her to the bed and she lays on it, back pressed against the mattress. The crystal chandelier sparkles in the moonlight. Ruby optics disappear behind her eyelids, blond lashes casting shadows on skin. The night is still young. 

A small smile of amusement forms on her lips when she remembers your earlier conversation. You had called her an interesting person - far from what others say. They called her lovely, a Goddess of beauty - and you? 

You called her interesting.

Still, you couldn’t hide the admiration for her in your eyes. You weren’t a stumbling fool and understood what her look meant when Jeremy went too far. But the most fascinating thing?

You listened to mental caution and drew a line, uncomfortable with her, with them, the gears turning in your head on what to do next. You even separated yourself from her without hesitation once the moment presented itself.

Regardless, you admired her in spite of your clear discomfort. 

“...I must be tired.” 

You called her an interesting person. In return, she’ll call you a fool. 

- - -

His side of the bed was cold, patting it as your bleary eyes and murky mind clear up. Still dressed in the half undone dress and corset, you ignore how uncomfortable it is. No, right now, what you are focused on is the way your beating heart is thrashing against your rib cage, how cold your body has become, beads of sweat building and rolling down your temples, on the verge of gasping for air. Did you just fuck yourself over? 

You don’t know what time it was - sun high in the bright, blue sky, birds singing their lovely tunes. The occasional footsteps passing by, the far off voices as the servants go about their business. None of them knock on the door. None come to ‘wake’ you up.

Or, if they had, it must have been a good while ago. Were you so deep asleep that they gave up?

“...He’s going to kill me, isn’t he… hah…” a humorless laugh passes through your chest, shoulders slumping as nothing but regret fills your head and chest. Are you going to be killed today? Or maybe tortured? Thrown out like disgusting leftovers? 

You don’t want to die. Ah, but what could you possibly do? Get on your hands and knees like a dog and beg for forgiveness? …no. You’re already pathetic enough, you don’t want to lower yourself even more. Fuck. 

“...Ah, fuck, what should I do?” Putting your thumb sideways in your mouth, your teeth clamp down on the poor digit. The taste of iron explodes in your mouth, teeth marks left behind on the now wounded and bleeding flesh. 

A throbbing headache decides to join, adding physical pain to the list of your suffering. You bite down on your thumb harder. It feels like it might just snap in two but your mind is too fried to realize this. The only thing you can think about is last night. 

Your husband was gone. Where did he go? Maybe he decided to leave you, seeing you as a broken toy he doesn’t want anymore. Does that mean he’ll give the least back to Lant? Is that why he isn’t here? To discuss how to dispose of you? 

The thought makes your stomach churn, saliva glands overfilling as bile starts to raise. You were given to them as a pet - as some twisted sacrifice, and for what? Did this family want nothing else but a new ‘toy,’ to see how long a normal person would last within these walls? What then?

If they decide to kill you, or if you kill yourself out of desperation, what would they tell your parents? No, they wouldn’t tell them anything to begin with. 

And your family wouldn’t be able to ask.

“Urk…” dry heaving, slapping your hand over your mouth, panicked tears forming. Your entire body shakes, blood staining the bed as your injured hand grasps at the sheets. “URK!” Without a thought you rush out of bed, slamming yourself down on your knees as you reach the trash can. All of your stomach continents come up, the foul taste of vomit coming forth. 

Hot tears run down your cheeks as you heave over the trash, blurring your vision. You’re breathing too heavily. You look at the door a few feet away from you. If anyone was right outside it, they would have heard you. 

“...” you wait for a knock or for someone to burst through the doors with bated breath, your eyes shaking in their sockets, knees throbbing after the harsh impact. No-one comes. It is only you - alone in this room, a sinner who is paying the price. Must you go through this for a sin you’ve forgotten until now? 

The answer is yes. 

The answer is yes as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. The answer is yes as you force yourself to stand, knees painfully throbbing as the flesh bruises. The answer is yes as your thumb still bleeds, teeth marks engraved into the skin. The answer is yes as your heart refuses to calm down, chest hurting. 

The answer is yes as you walk over to the vanity, the reflection of a face that doesn’t look like your own. 

You are a mess. 

The tears don’t stop flowing as the urge to vomit returns. Crystalline droplets catch on your lashes, ugly sobs and hiccups breaking out, your shoulders shaking as you collapse onto the leather stool seat. A sinner always pays the price. 

You bury your face into your hands, entire body jerking with each sob, each hiccup as anxiety for the future and present overtakes everything. This isn’t like you. But you were never strong enough to survive in an environment like this. You were pathetic. 

Seconds turn into minutes and maybe even into hours. Time is a concept that you don’t bother yourself with by the time you finally calm down, red puffy eyes staring into the mirror as the tear streaks dry on your cheeks. Some snot peeks out from your nostril, hair a mess, clothes crumbled and sliding down, showing more of your cleavage. Such an unsightly sight. 

Grabbing a face towel on the vanity desk, you wipe off the tears and snot.

“...Okay. Let’s… get cleaned up.” Your limbs feel heavy, dragging your feet towards the closet before finally, finally striping out of your clothes from yesterday. The articles of clothing pools at your feet. 

How much longer can I last here? 

Will there ever be a peaceful divorce? Can I divorce him? Would I be able to?

If the story events do take place and Roxana takes over the Agriche family… by then… would I have children…?

BAM!

Your poor knees-! At the thought of having children - his children - your body just gives up again, as always. That’s the only thing you’re capable of, as experience has shown. 

“...children… right, children… I have to give that man kids… kids that will go through the same thing he went through…” Will you be able to love them, if they come into existence? You have to, they would be yours.

Or would you end up just like Jeremy’s mother? Horrified at the sight of her own child, refusing to spend time with them. Seeing them as an irredeemable monster that you would do anything and everything to avoid?

Chomp. 

Your thumb once again becomes a victim to your teeth, the imprint becoming deeper and drawing more blood.  It hurts, it hurts, it hurts- but as the thought of starting a family with Dion Agriche deepens, the more you need to find something sturdy. Your thumb is enough to keep you grounded, yes, it is, and no, you’re not planning an early funeral, visualizing the area you want to hold it, or the dress your cold corpse would wear, or your family’s crying faces -

No, stop it. This isn’t - this isn’t… this isn’t what I want to be.

 Licking the flesh wound, accepting the taste and smell of iron, you are not met with clarity nor bravery; just, temporary acceptance. This is your life. This was what the Gods had planned for you. This is what you have become - a wife to the future Black Agriche Heir. 

His first wife.

Despite the blood and saliva, your mouth feels dry. Nausea builds back up, gagging and breath becoming short. It’s becoming hard to breathe. 

Your lungs are being squeezed, throat constricted with an invisible ball gag - vision blurred with what? What’s this hot liquid running down your cheeks? Are you crying ? Again?

Something is choking you. Your head is starting to feel fuzzy, a pounding in your chest you can’t get. Everything is warped, shapes turning into mush, black merging with white, a hammer bashing against your head. Only the sound of rushing blood and a running heart is heard. Only the thought of death remains. 

“No…no, I - I - this-!” you curl into yourself, kneeling as your forehead touches the floor, hands interlocked around your head as your lower arms and elbows rest on the tiles. Sobbing violently, your mind crashes again. You were never strong. 

Not then, not now. 

- - -

“Young Master Dion has been sent off on an errand; the dinner with Master Lant has been postponed until tomorrow, at six o’clock.” Hana informs you as she sets out your breakfast: oatmeal and water. Just what your now very sensitive stomach and nerves need. Did she overhear your little mental breakdown not even an hour ago? Or was this the usual breakfast for the residents of the Agriche compound? 

“I see.” You hoarsely reply, voice still recovering. This is a good thing - you don’t have to see the devil’s face for yet another day. Her news also answers your question; Dion is out on an errand and they weren’t planning to axe you. Yet. Hopefully never. 

Still, the curiosity of your husband’s duties lingers. You shouldn’t involve yourself anymore than what you currently are. Curiosity always kills the cat. So, you bite your tongue, deciding against asking her what your oh so lovely husband’s chore is… but, if you are to play the role as a wife, his wife, should you ask him once he returns? Like how one would greet their spouse once they return from work. 

Hello dear… ick, no. Hey, how was your day… no, next. Are you tired? Do you want a bath…?

Or maybe you should just ignore the subject all together. His business isn’t yours, so why bother?

Besides, what if he doesn’t like you ‘snooping’ in his business? But at the same time, he’s been acting so weird and unlike how he was portrayed in the story. So while that Dion would find your questions annoying or useless, this Dion may want you to ask about his day. Fuck, it’s all so confusing and irritating 

 “Hm. Hana, is there anything on today’s schedule?” 

“No, not yet my Lady.” 

Not yet. What does she mean by not yet? Does that mean she’s aware that someone will interrupt your tiny bit of peace at some point today? Her short dark brown hair slightly bounces as she shuffles her weight onto one leg. “However, my Lady, I could… tell them that you’re recovering from ‘last night.’”

Her suggestion makes your grip on the cup loose, dropping the glass onto your lap as water soaks it. 

“My Lady! Are you alright?” In a panic, Hana grabs some of the napkins on the table and pats your lap to soak up some of the water after removing the now empty glass. “My apologies - I shouldn’t have brought up such a vulgar suggestion…” Her once collected face and behavior shatters at the drop of a hat, ‘concerned’ about your safety. 

Or was it for hers? 

“I-it’s fine… no worries,” a tight lipped smile that only makes her brows furrow more and treats you gentler. Like you were made of glass. Well, that wouldn’t be too far from the truth… 

“No, really. I just need to change clothes…” Once she’s done with soaking most of the water up you stand and walk to the closet. Opening the doors you skim over the options. Hana’s footsteps stop right behind you. Why is it so hard to have personal space in this place…

Your gaze travels upwards and for the first time, do you notice the Agriche family's crest engraved into the wood. Bitterness explodes in your mouth. It seems that no matter where you are in this place, there will always be a physical reminder of where you are - of who you belong to. No matter, you tell yourself. Besides, this isn’t even your room - 

It was your husband’s. And maybe after a month, if not less, into your marriage, you’ll be assigned your own. …why were you sharing a room with him to begin with? Probably to increase the chances of conceiving a child sooner rather than later. 

“... does that even make sense?” you murmur in amusement. Lant wasn’t even dead yet. But, you think, maybe he wanted his son to have a child so he could start to shape them into this tainted and sadistic mold ahead of time before he kicks the bucket. To ensure that the child - your child - would follow in their father’s footsteps. 

To see if they would carry the same air and expectations as your husband does. 

How cruel. 

“Hana, I’ll let you choose it; they’re all so… beautiful that I can’t choose.” In reality you’re getting a headache from looking at the family crest. Which just became yours. 

“...yes, my Lady,” she follows your order without question, going through the options. 

Not even a few minutes later she pulls one out. 

It matches your husband’s eyes. A brilliant shade of scarlet, it practically glows. A sheer black neck piece that forms as a choker and covers your cleavage but leaves your shoulders bare. Black lace is on the hem, flowers engraved into the pattern. The body of the dress is a solid scarlet. 

“It’s beautiful.” You compliment her choice of style hiding how the beautiful piece of clothing makes your fingers twitch and brings the urge to vomit forward. Oh, how horrible it is, to not even be able to enjoy such a sight. 

How horrible it is, to be born into this world after a helpless first life only to repeat the cycle, but worse. 

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

just did a (spoiler heavy) thread on twitter for everything i loved and hated in sonic 3 so i may as well put it here

id like to say i dont think it needs to be a perfect adaptation of sa2 and i think they were right to NOT do that!!! the most obvious part being presenting shadow as nothing but a threat until the reveal is impossible now, seeing as sa2 is such an astronomically popular game

good: i LOVE how they expand upon maria. in game canon, i kinda hate how shadow and maria have only known each other for like. a few months. a year maybe. my ideal version is super fanfic-y so i think this is the perfect way to do it in a normal, canon-sounding way [tangent: my "ideal" way of shadow and maria in game canon is maria being sent up when she was about 2 and dying when she was specifically 17. this is because it means she still gets to be shadow's older sister and shadow gets to age at a normal rate. literally just because i don't like the idea that shadow doesnt age/ages slowly. so i can draw old shadow weinkly. thats literally it.]

bad: THEY LEFT OUT HER TERMINAL ILLNESS???? idc what you say about how good her story is that's just plain ableism

good: shadow is so good. soooo good. he's so fluffy and cute and pretty. literally the only nitpick i had was "he's a bit too cute because i couldnt find him menacing" but then i remembered my perception of "cute" is somewhat warped lol

bad: literally nothing shadow was just as peak as he was in sa2. only complaint i might have is i prefer his game VAs (other than kirk. kirk i love you and you get too much hate but um. theres way better) but even then i think keanu did a really good job

good: i think gerald was. oh. gerald was alright. it's genuinely so impressive how they pulled off him and robotnik being played by 1 actor like jesus christ!!! and i think the direction they went was good too.

bad: he's annoying and i dont like him and idc it should have been rouge hell i dont even care if rouge is a human to save money it just should have been rouge

good: TAILS IS ACTUALLY GOOD AND IMPORTANT AND I LOVE HIM YAYYYYYYYY HE DOES STUFF HE CONTRIBUTES HEAVILY TO THE PLOT YAYYYYYYYY HES SOOOOO FLUFFY HES SO. TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

bad: tails they could never make me hate you there is nothing bad to say ❤️ go and eat some mints ❤️

good: I ALSO LOVE KNUCKLES WACHOWSKI!!!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!! knuckles is so good in this film and because i didnt mention it in the tails part the team sonic dynamic is soooooo good like sonic heroes level good

bad: knuckles they didnt even make me hate you in the knuckles show i just hated everything else ❤️ [tangent: tbf i didnt really watch the knuckles show but my brother did and. ugh.]

good: i love how sonic is in this film like it reminds me of boom!sonic in a way with how he's both slightly less mature than game sonic and also Ready To Kill if prompted. ok maybe him being like boom!sonic is a stretch i just love sonic boom so much

bad: i mean hes kind of annoying but hes annoying in the typical sonic way so i have to excuse it. i do prefer game sonic because he's cooler but movie sonic is cute so yayyyy

good: maddie had a role!!!!!!! maddie!!!! was important to the plot!!!!!!!!!

bad: i dont like tom :(

good: THE STOBOTNIK... POOR STONE OMG... DOOMED OLD MAN YAOI... I LOVE AGENT STONE WITH MY WHOLE HEART LEE MADJOUB YOU ARE AN INTERNATIONAL TREASURE

bad: because the parallel is a love triangle from a telenovela it makes eggy and gerald have weird. incestual undertones. probably unintended but it did make me ever so slightly uncomfortable

good: OVERALL this was a brilliant film and i needed my inhaler by the mid credits scene. like i was desperate for the toilet for the whole final act and i SPRINTED to the toilet and back when the credits started because i didnt wanna miss anything

bad: please for the love of god include more women and also if theres any israeli propaganda in future sonic stuff (thankfully not this) i will execute you

theres probably more i can yap about but that's the important stuff i think

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

Shadow the hedgehog for the ask game

First Impression:

Angsty boy who kinda looks like a dark version of Sonic (the first time I ever saw Shadow was the post credits scene of movie 2 and I knew nothing about him 🤣)

Impression now:

Fascinating, powerful, absolutely COOL beyond reason, edgy hedgie, carries guns around and also has PTSD and deep down is just a lonely, anxious, and sad boy who misses his sister 🥹 (can you tell Dark Beginnings ruined me?)

Favorite moment:

This is always hard... I loved the way he took down the G.U.N. ship but then saved the pilot in ep 3 of Dark Beginnings. I loved his redemption arc and sacrifice at the end of SA2. I loved him throughout Prime, especially at the end when he became so protective of Sonic and saved him and then warped the Paradox Prism away with that "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform, I go wherever I want." I JUST LOVE A LOT OF MOMENTS WITH HIM 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Idea for a story:

I need to write a one-shot of him and Rouge just having a long and therapeutic talk after Shadow Generations and all that trauma bc c'mon my boy was CRYING by the end and Rouge KNEW IT and I just need him to talk about it and I need him to get a hug bc we know now that he is most easily soothed by physical touch and who better to give that to him than his best friend jssknfmcskndncmsksnf PLS I'm probably gonna write this anyway hahahahahahaa

Unpopular opinion:

Hrrmmm. Maybe that he sees Sonic as something of a little brother. (Most evidence for this is in Prime but yeah. Don't bother arguing your stuff, this is just my opinion and I really don't care to fight over stupid stuff I'm here to have fun ok)

Favorite Relationship:

In one sense, he and Maria are the obvious choice. They were siblings in every sense but blood and they loved each other so much. Everything about their bond was unexpected and unplanned, but it existed and Gerald loved it. We love it.

In another sense, post-ARK incidence, Shadow and Rouge. Whether you see it platonically or romantically, their bond is so sweet. Shadow has probably opened up more to Rouge than anyone else. She is one of the only people he currently trusts, and he is one of the few people Rouge sobers up around. The things they say to each other and how they're both protective of each other is just so precious to me and I love every interaction of theirs. 🥰

Favorite Headcanon:

He's a cat lover. 🤣🥰

[arty-chase]

Graveyard Siblings (3)

Some for revenge and some sibling bonding.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)

-------

Adrien was next to be visited. Plagg woke him up from his sleep.

-------

“Kit, wake up. I want camembert.”

“Plagg, silence. You are not getting any cheese if you do that.”

“Sorry, Adrien but you are not my ‘master’ anymore.”

“Plagg? Why are you here? Where’s the ring?”

“The ring is as far away as possible and kept safely away. I am here because someone wants to talk to you.”

“Who?”

A cloaked, hooded figure stepped out of the shadows to his room.

“Kitty. My Chaton. Did you miss me?” A sweet, familiar but yet so terrifying voice came from the figure.

She pulled down the hood to reveal Ladybug with a wicked-looking black mask with white lenses.

“What am I talking about? You do miss me. Your Bugaboo. Too bad I don’t feel the same, Adrien.”

Lightning flashed and it started to rain. The mask was gone, revealing his dead classmate, Marinette with chilling red eyes. The pigtails grew longer and curved upwards, giving the illusion of her having horns. Twin blades flashed and she leaped towards him. (Damian gave them to her with some lessons in exchange for spending time with, babysitting, the kwamis.)

Adrien scrambled away from the bed in the nick of time. A sword impaling the spot where he just was.

“Plagg, help. Where is the ring? I need to transform.”

“Sorry, kitten. I am not telling you. Even if you did have the ring, it’s not going to be much help.”

“Kitty, stay still. Then, we can be together. Just like you wanted.”

Adrien continued to dodge.

“What do you mean?” He all but screamed at Plagg.

“Pigtails, here, is a vengeful spirit. She’s not going to stop until she is satisfied. How about asking her what she wants?”

“Ladybug, what do you want?”

“What I wanted was a partner I could rely on, someone I can trust with my life, someone who wouldn’t stab me in the back for his own selfish gain. I wanted a friend who would have my back and not tell me to keep quiet at the price of my mental health and my relationships with people I care about. WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!”

She managed to get a cut on his left cheek.

Soon, he was on the ground, bleeding out on the round.

“Tell Hawkmoth that he better watch out. Because-” lightning struck and Plagg and Ladybug had disappeared, “his downfall is coming.” Her voice echoed through his room.

Adrien laid bleeding until Natalie opened the door after hearing a crash from the room and came to check on him. As she called an ambulance for Adrien, she wondered if it wasn’t too late to ask for redemption and be spared from Ladybug’s wrath for her part in her murder.

Adrien had the word ‘TRAITOR’ carved into his back. Forever reminding him of his crimes.

--------

He wasn’t in school for a week after the incident. They all were told that Adrien had an accident while fencing.

Gabriel was a little panicking now.

He hired an exorcist, (John Constantine got a hefty amount and did a few flashy magic tricks to appease Gabriel but he didn’t lift the curse Maria put on the place. She is not someone to be on the bad side of and he thinks that he can’t lift it even if he wanted to.)

Emilie gets a little sus at Gabriel when he brought this strange man with a British accent into their home after their son got attacked in his own room with security tighter than Fort Knox.

She doesn’t buy that ‘accident’ bullshit that her husband, son and even Natalie tries to sell her. She thinks it is connected to what happened while she was in a coma.

-----

Adrien has a curse too.

(Credit to @raeuberprinzessin for giving me an idea)

He couldn’t act like the ‘Perfect Adrien’ in public anymore. Acting more like Chat Noir at first then, later a spoiled brat. His friends thought that he was finally rebelling against his father and encouraged it a lot.

Adrien started criticizing other people, strangers at first then to the people working on the photoshoots to his fans to his other school mates, people in his class and his friends. (The curse planted ideas into his head about what he should say and he said them all without thinking about the effect it has on other people)

People started avoiding him not liking his attitude and his comments about how they should behave and change something about them because he doesn’t like it that way and guilt-tripping them when he doesn’t get his way. Even Nino started to distance himself after he saw how Adrien talked to a fan.

The public thought it was a phase but as he got progressively worse, people started despising him. Adrien doesn’t realize this of course so far, happy that his father let him get away with ‘ruining the Agreste image.’ (Gabriel was worried about a potential vengeful ghost and making sure his wife didn't know about his stint as a supervillain. There was also the fact that the Afterlife made more sales than him again and managed to get on the cover of Vogue when he should have, dammit.) He was finally able to say what he wanted to without repercussions. Until he realized when Nino and everyone else cancelled for a hangout for the third time that week that he was slowly losing his friends.

He panics and tries to fix the situation. He didn’t want to be alone again.

He talks to Nino about it and to his horror, he couldn’t stop himself from saying many things that were a little hurtful. (Second part. The moment he realizes he is going to be alone. He is going to find out that yes, lies can hurt people. He is going to see it happen firsthand.)

Nino moved seats and told Adrien that their friendship was on hold until he apologized.

Soon, nearly every time his mouth opened, lies and insults about his friends or their embarrassing secrets came spilling out. Everyone hated him now and Mme. Bustier tried to give him a reprimand about his behaviour, which when he tried to defend himself, he found himself unable to speak.

He managed to explain to his father what caused his unpopularity by writing what happened to him. Unfortunately due to his poor behaviour before the second part of the curse was activated, his fan base was dwindling and people didn’t like him anymore so there was a hit on the Gabriel brand.

He no longer has to do modeling, clearing his schedule. But no one would spend time with him.

The best solution he could do with his predicament was to keep quiet and endure the loneliness and the glares of his classmates at school. Adrien was relegated to the back and nearly everyone avoided him. He was now a social pariah.

Even Lila avoided him because of her own curse which made Adrien turn into one of her previous victims. (She also didn’t ponder why Marinette rarely appears compared to the others.)

If Adrien felt a tiny bit remorseful or guilty for making Marinette keep quiet or betraying Ladybug, he can gain a little control over what he says.

The curse can be broken if he apologizes to Maria herself or to her grave.

------

The first few months, while Marinette adapted to living with the Waynes, Jason stayed over at Wayne Manor because having Maria living with him at his apartment wasn’t a good idea and he had no clue how to take care of a teenage girl.

On paper she is adopted by Bruce because Jason can’t. (Some CPS reasons.)

Making Jason a little more salty towards Bruce. “I found her first. I called dibs.”

Brought Maria to meet the other Outlaws and they adopted her too. “Hey, guys. She’s my sister first.”

Jason was the one to teach her how to shoot a gun because he was ‘the most capable’ of teaching her.

The first few months were a little tense with Marinette not fully trusting them and the same with the rest of the Batfam.

Jason warmed her up a bit to him by telling a little of why he took her here.

He was also the one to book them flight to Paris with Bruce’s credit card so she can tell her friends that she wasn’t dead in person.

They bonded more after stopping some nefarious plot in Paris while they were there. Let’s say Gentleman Ghost and something involving the catacombs in Paris. (I watched some Batman: Brave and the Bold for childhood nostalgia.)

Kwamis were animal-shaped and they were interesting creatures to be around. And very very curious.

There was a stressful day for Maria when all the Kwamis decided to play hide and seek. Damian somehow got roped into helping her as the only available person in the Manor and he will deny that he enjoyed it.

Damian is the little brother she always wanted and she is more tolerable compared to his brothers. There is also the fact that she trusts him with the kwamis and deep down, he feels super-honoured. (I just love older sister!Mari)

Tim and her being insomniac/coffee buddies. There has been many many interventions to stop this.

I get that Marinette is this selfless person and loves making people happy but she has siblings now and them eating the stuff she made for herself to enjoy, should get on her nerves after a while.

She makes a box with booby-traps in which she puts in her cookies and food.

There are many different layers of traps because this is the Batfam and each of them is non-lethal and more ridiculous.

Okay, I once read a fic about Marinette making a bear-trap style box to hide the Miracle Box so this box is also like that but kept for food. (Traps and Sneaks by quicksilversquared)

Someone (I vote a hungry Dick or Jason, maybe a suspicious Bruce) made a mistake of putting their hand into the box and the first trap activated.

Screams filled the house.

Everyone came down including Marinette.

Bruce asked, “Who did this?”

“It was me.”

“Why?”

“They kept eating the cookies.”

“There are other ways to stop them from doing that you know like a ‘Do Not Touch’ sign not a death trap box.”

“They are non-lethal.”

Bruce locked it away but Tim later stole it to tweak it and store his coffee. ------ (Part 4)

[navalcriminalimagines]

Pairings: Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader

Warnings: none?

Words: 4,511

Prompt: Rafael spent years keeping his feelings for you hiding.

Missed shot

When Rafael Barba started to work with Manhattan’s SVU, you’d been a detective there for almost two years. You joined the squad shortly before Stabler left. You saw Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins joining in too. At first, Cragen partnered you with Amanda, and Olivia with Nick, but considering it wasn’t working between Liv and Nick, changes were made, and Nick became your partner.

You two quickly became close, like a brother-sister relationship. He told you about his issues with Maria, you were the first (and only one) to know when him and Amanda became a thing. So, obviously, you told him your secret.

“This is Tomas,” you told Nick, as you were showing him a picture of an 8-year-old boy. “My son,” you added. “Don’t bother counting, I did give birth to him when I was 17.”

“He’s cute. Looks a lot like you,” Nick smiled at you. “Nobody in the squad know?” he asked.

“Cragen does. But he’s our Captain and it’s in my file. But the rest, nope,”

“Why not?”

You told him more about your debut in the police. At first, you did hide the fact that you were a mom. But you quickly realized that your coworkers and others were judging you. People took you as immature, non-serious, and some guy actually pictured you as an easy girl. You hated every second of your debut. So, when you joined the bomb squad, you decided to make your son a secret. It’s much better this way.

Olivia learned about your son when she took Cragen’s place. A part of her was surprised, but another wasn’t. She saw you with kids, you do have that mother instinct. And of course, she promised that nobody would know about Tom.

Working with the SVU squad wasn’t an evidence for Rafael Barba. Nick gave him hard time for no apparent reasons, Amanda wasn’t a fan of him. Fin didn’t care much. But luckily, Olivia welcomed him nicely and then there was you. You were sweet to him, kind. You asked him if you whether call him “Rafael” or “Barba” – “Your choice,” he answered. You ask him how he’s doing every time you see him. You usually bring him a coffee when you stopped by his office.

You’re nice, gorgeous, young, smart, badass… it didn’t take long for Rafael to get interested in you. More than just as coworker. But this couldn’t be happening, so he started to stay away from you as much as possible. At first, it was easy since Rafael only sees you as a detective. He doesn’t know anything about you outside of the office, only that you have Swedish origins from your father. He doesn’t want to know more. He doesn’t need to.

But despite himself, he overheard conversations between you and Nick every now and then. When the name “Tom” came back multiple times, Rafael assumed you had a boyfriend. Good. This should make things easier.

For two years working together, you and Rafael had a normal work relationship. He kept his crush under-wrap, seeing people every now and then, when the thought of you was too much. Sometimes it was one-night stands, sometimes a bit more. But he never kept seeing the same person for more than two months. That’s when people want to make things more permanent. Rafael doesn’t want that.

Keeping you at arm’s length was perfect for him. He couldn’t let you in. He wasn’t open for a serious relationship, and he felt like you could turn his world upside down if he let you in.

He almost did when Nick got shot. You were very worried for your partner, Rafael almost hugged you when you started to cry in front of him. But Liv called at the same point, so he didn’t. And then Nick left SVU, and New York. His departure hurt you a lot, for a moment, Rafael thought you two had some kind of an intimate relationship. But he remembered a conversation you two had.

“Hey Barba, we’re going out for drinks. Wanna join?” you casually asked.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Okay, first, do you need an occasion to go out for drinks? And second, it’s just that Nick needs to get his mind off the breakup,”

“So, it’s definitely over between him and his wife?”

“Yeah, she’s moving to DC with Zara. He’s not doing great,”

“But he can always count on his other partner,” Rafael said, without thinking.

You chuckled, “What does that mean?”

“You two are—close,” Hopefully, it didn’t sound like jealousy. Which it actually was.

“Amanda is the one he slept with, not me. I’d rather sleep with you,” you left right after.

This was months ago, but Rafael still couldn’t believe you said that. He tried not to overthink about it, but he couldn’t. Was this just a joke? Were you just trying to prove a point? Or did you see him as more than just a coworker? He considered trying to explore this, but before he found the courage to do something about it, Sonny Carisi joined the squad and became your partner.

You missed Nick a lot, but you welcomed Sonny with open arms, unlike the others at first. He will forever be thankful about that. It didn’t take long for Rafael to see that you had a bond with Sonny, just like the bond you had with Nick. Maybe more. Liv told him a few times that being partners when you’re a cop is very special. He understands that, but it doesn’t he likes it when it comes to you.

Few months after Sonny join in, Rafael heard the name Tom again. You must have to Sonny about your boyfriend. Since he didn’t hear that name for months, he assumed that you two had broken up. But apparently not. Meaning that there’s nothing romantic with Carisi, but you still have a boyfriend. So, Rafael tried to forget what you told him and kept trying to convince himself that what he’s feeling for you isn’t love.

More months went by. It was obvious for Rafael that Carisi had a thing for you. He didn’t like it, but there’s nothing he can do. But he kept turning down all of your offers when the squad met up for drinks. He didn’t need that. He didn’t want to know the you outside work.

One day, he showed up to the precinct. No one was nowhere to be find. He spotted a gift wrapped on your desk. Curious, he took a closer look. There was a card. He looked around, still no one. So, he tried to take a look at the card.

“That’s very noisy of you, counselor,” he heard for behind. You. He jumped from the surprise, let go of the card.

“A box on a detective’s desk. Had to be sure it wasn’t a bomb,” he said, trying to keep a straight face. You laughed at his excuse.

“Would love to see your reaction if you saw a bomb,” you said, with a smile on your face. Apparently, you aren’t mad, so that’s good.

“I’d rather not,” he shyly smiled at you. “What would your reaction be?”

“Considering that I’ve been there before, I would keep my calm and do my best to defuse it,” you said before walking to the coffee area. Rafael analyzed your words for a moment before joining you.

“Come again?”

“Spent two years with the bomb squad before joining SVU,” you casually said, handing him the cup of coffee you just poured.

In four years, this was the first personal information you gave him. He almost couldn’t believe it.

“I—I didn’t know,”

“Well, yeah. We never talked about anything else than our cases,”

“True,” he took a sip. “And why would that be? In your opinion,”

“Because you don’t like me,”

You had poured another cup for yourself and walked up straight to your desk after those words. You sat, grabbed the gift to put it aside and started to look at something on your computer. Rafael was stunned for a moment but joined you again. He closed your laptop, and leaned against your desk, right next to you. He had never been this physically close to you before.

“Why in the world would you think that?” He asked.

“We’ve been working together for four years, Barba. Not once, did you show some kind of interest in me. You’re best friends with Liv, you tolerate Amanda, you’re courteous with Fin. Hell, you gave hard time to Sonny for the first year but now you agreed for him to shadow you. But me? I feel like you wish I wasn’t here,”

Rafael stayed silent for a moment, analyzing your words. Indeed, he tried to keep his distance with you, but he never thought it made you feel that way. He felt very bad about himself.

“But hey, no problem, okay? We’ve been able to make it work that way for years, there’s no reasons we can’t keep going,”

“You’re very wrong—about everything, Y/N.”

“Then what is it?” You locked your sweet blue eyes into his. For a moment, he was afraid you may see all the love he has for you in his eyes. What reasonable excuse could he tell you? His mind raced. But thankfully, the rest of the squad came back at that moment.

“Barba, Y/N. Are you interrupting?” Rollins smiled.

“Nope,” Rafael stood up right and followed Liv into her office. You watched him leave. No answer. Again.

The gift was actually from Sonny, but it wasn’t for you. It’s for Tomas, who’s now 13 years old. The father left when you told him you were pregnant (he was a bit older) and never saw him again. You raised Tom by yourself, with the full support of your parents, luckily. Your son showed up his interest in makeup and esthetic about a year ago. You completely support him in his passion, brought him whatever he needed/wanted.

Sonny went shopping with his 16 years old niece Mia during the weekend and she wanted to go to the Sephora. He asked her what he could offer to Tomas.

“Uncle Sonny. Are you trying to seduce the mother by being so nice to the son?” Mia asked with a smirk on her face.

“Okay, first, I wouldn’t need to do that. And second, it’s just that—it’s not easy to be different. I just want him to know that he can count on me,”

“Like you wished you could count on someone when you realized you were bisexual?”

Sonny looked at his niece with wide eyes. He still isn’t out to his family. How could she know? “Last year, I figured that this Sam you talked about wasn’t a she but a he. And--I’m bi, too, Uncle Sonny.”

That’s a lot to process in two minutes, while he is standing in the middle of a makeup store.

“There’s nothing wrong with that…right?” Mia added.

“Oh, of course not, sweetheart!” He immediately answered. “When did you know?”

“I was sure when I fell in love with a girl, a few months ago,” she confessed.

Sonny hugged his niece and kissed her hair. “What’s her name? I’d love to meet her,”

“Joy. And that would be nice. I’m so happy I finally told you,”

“I’ll never judge you. And I’ll always be there for you,”

In the squad, you were the only one Sonny came out to. Which makes the two of you even closer.

After the gift “incident”, you and Rafael didn’t talk again for weeks. To be fair, he was trying to avoid you. He almost confessed his feelings for you and that can’t be happening. After this, Rafael decided to call back a woman he used to see. She’s beautiful, smart, nice and wants the same things he does. Exactly what he needs.

He never wanted to talk about his personal life at work, but one day, you showed up in his office. Rafael was on the phone, his back to the door. He didn’t hear you come in, so he kept making plans with Judith. You listened, and felt your chest tightened.

Before he hung up, Rafael heard the door of his office closing. He turned around; nobody was there but he saw you walking out through the blinds. You had heard and walked away.

When Rafael told you, you were wrong about your assumptions, you thought that maybe he was feeling the same way you did. Turns out, you were wrong.

It was Tom’s 14th birthday. You helped him planned an afternoon party. He told you he invited about 10 friends.

But no one showed up. Your son didn’t feel ashamed about his passion - thanks to you and Sonny, mostly - but apparently, his “friends” didn’t like it.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me they were bullying you? On Monday I’ll go see your principal,”

“Exactly for this. If you do this, it’s gonna be worse. Maybe I should stop,”

“Stop what? Doing something you like? Not under my watch, T. Those kids are just the reflections of their close-minded parents,”

“Yeah, but at least people show up to their birthday parties,”

It broke your heart to see your son like this. You needed to fix this. You need to see your son happy. All day, every day. You went to the bathroom and called Sonny.

“Sonny, I need you,” you said when he answered. “Short things first, those stupid kids didn’t show up to T’s party. There’s no one here. Can you come? With Mia? And Joy? I’m gonna call Liv, see if she can come with Noah,”

“I’m with Mike right now so he’ll be with me. Call Fin too, we’ll stop by Amanda’s to pick her and Jesse,”

“Okay, that’s great, thanks Sonny,”

“Of course. Tom will remember his 14th birthday I promise. Why don’t you call Barba too?”

“Why in the world would I do that?”

“It would be rude not to. Don’t you think?”

“I guess. I’ll see. Can you be there in about an hour?”

You call Liv and she agreed, same for Fin. But Sonny was right, you had to call Rafael.

“Barba,” he answered.

“Hey, it’s Y/N. Sorry to bother you on Saturday afternoon. Um—if you aren’t busy, what do you think about stopping by my son’s birthday? It’s kinda unfair, but stupid kids didn’t show up. I call everyone, they’re all coming. But hey, don’t feel obligated. You don’t have to if you don’t—“

“Okay,” he answered before you could finish your monologue.

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Yeah. When should I be there? And how old is he?”

“I said an hour to everyone. And if you’re asking his age to buy him a gift, don’t bother. Right now, all he needs is people to be there to celebrate,”

“Y/N, don’t make me argue please. How old is your son?”

“14.”

“Okay, thanks. See you in an hour then. Text me the address, please,”

“See you, Rafael,”

Rafael tried to stay calm and natural in front of Judith, but there were some many things in his head right now. Since he went to the bedroom to answer your call, he lied to the woman he was with, pretending a work emergency to leave.

You have a kid. A teenage kid, actually. A quick count made him realized you gave birth when you were 17. Many things made sense now. He needs confirmation but it seems clear that, this Tom he heard about, is actually your son, and not your boyfriend like he assumed.

How could he not know about this? You’ve been working together for almost five years now. He really kept his distance with you. But somehow, he still fell hard for you.

“Hey Liv, I got a call from Y/N. I’d like to buy a little something for her son, do you have any idea?”

“Well, do you know anything about makeup?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Liv laughed. “Where are you? I can pick you up and we stop by a store to buy him something,”

“Okay, I trust you on that.”

An hour later, everybody was there. You welcomed them as they arrived. “If he doesn’t like it, that’s on Liv,” Rafael joked as he handed you the gift he had for your son.

“Nope. That’s on that sells woman that was clearly hitting on you,” Liv interjected.

“She wasn’t— okay, she was. But not my type,”

“Yeah, and Judith probably wouldn’t like it,”

“I don’t know about that. And she doesn’t need to know anyway,” he smiled.

Tom’s mood improved when he saw Mia and Joy. You and Sonny introduced them months ago and Tomas is crazy about them.

“What happened to your face?” Mia asked and Tom frowned. “No makeup, seriously T?” She added, before taking him by the hand.

“Wait—“ you stopped them before they reached the bedroom. “Tomas, meet Mike and Rafael, first. They are the only ones you haven’t met yet,”

It made sense that Tom hadn’t met Mike yet, since he joined SVU a couple of months ago. But yeah, it stings to Rafael. Five years. And he didn’t know.

“You look like a cop,” he said Mike, “but you don’t,” he then said to Rafael.

“Cause I’m not. I’m an ADA, Assistant Dis—“

“I know what it is,” he cut him. “Thank you for coming,”

“Can we do his makeup now?” Mia called out and the three of them — adding Jesse who wanted to go too — disappeared in the bedroom for a moment.

“Thanks, guys, for showing up this quick. It’s a mess,” you sadly said. “T told me that he’s being bullied at school because he loves makeup, lets his hair grow. Apparently, they are calling him a sissy,” your jaw clenched. Rafael saw the mama bear in you. “He doesn’t want me to interfere. But maybe I should anyway,”

“You’re here for him. We all are, that’s what he needs,” Sonny said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring you comfort. Rafael tried to avoid the jealousy in his belly.

Opening gifts arrived fast. Everyone brought him something, mostly makeup stuff. Sonny actually got him an appointment in a famous hair salon in Manhattan. Now that his hair is long enough, Tom mentioned wanting to get a real haircut. Mike listened to Sonny’s advices for his gift.

“This is from Nick,” Liv said as she gave Tom a gift. “He wants you to call later,”

“Mom!! That’s two tickets for California!” Tomas exclaimed before reading the note. “And he’s offering me surfing lessons! When are we going? Before—“

“Soon, my love.” You said before he could finish his sentence.

Then came Rafael’s gift. “You can return it if you don’t like,” he said. But Tom’s face lit up when he saw what it was.

“Mom!!!” He showed you the gift, with a huge grin on his face.

“Wow! You finally got it,” you returned his smile and moved a little to stand by Rafael’s side.

“Thank you so much, Rafael!” Tom stood up and hugged the ADA. Some affection Rafael didn’t expect.

“He’s been bugging me for this palette for weeks. I told him to wait because it’s damn expensive,” you whispered to Rafael.

“It’s okay. I’m glad he likes it,” he just answered.

Tomas was thrilled with all of his gifts. It feels good that with those people, he doesn’t have to hide himself, who he is and what he loves. Later, you noticed that Rafael setback from the others. You stood next to him.

“You’re not mad about the gift, are you?” He asked, before you could say anything.

“A little, to be honest,”

“I can pay for that,”

“I know. I see your clothes every day. But that’s not the point,”

“Then what is the point?”

“For the first five years of his life, I couldn’t buy him things. All the toys he had were gifts from my parents— when I made better money, I spoiled him. For years. And now, he’s a very smart teenage boy but he doesn’t necessarily have the value of money. Which I’m trying to teach him. And you showed up with this hella expensive palette, Nick got him plane tickets and surfing lessons. Even the appointment Sonny got him is expensive. That’s not helping,”

“Great,” he smiled, and you shot him a glare, “you’re not actually mad at me, but more at yourself,”

“Don’t do this. You’re not a parent, Rafael,”

“Indeed,” he took a deep breath, “And how come did I do not know you were one?”

“This will just bring us back to our convo from February, don’t you think? And we both know how it ended,”

“We were interrupted,”

“And you’ve been avoiding me ever since,”

So, you noticed that. You always noticed things. He hates that about you. He intensely looked at you, not knowing what to say exactly.

“But don’t worry, Barba, you won’t have to use force for that anymore,” you gently patted his shoulder and joined the others. “My love, do you mind if I steal your thunder for a moment?” You asked your son.

“Nope. Are you going to tell them?”

You looked at Liv for approval and signed Rafael to come closer, which he did. Everybody waited for you to talk. “I—I’m leaving SVU,” you said. There were gasps, widen eyes and Sonny choked on his beer. “Don’t die yet, Sonny. I haven’t finished,” you paused. “It’s no secret that my father was born in Sweden and move here after he fell in love with my mum,”

That, Rafael did know. You talked about your Swedish origins. “After my mum died, my father moved back there. And he’s been bugging us to come with him and considering I’ve always promised this one,” you said, playing with Austin’s hair, “that we would try to live there for a while, I’m actually taking a sabbatical. And next month, we’re flying to Sweden. But we’ll stop by California first, apparently,”

Only Liv knew. So, it came as a shock to everyone else.

The mood changed after that. They were all happy but also sad to see you and Tom leave. Mostly Sonny. It was very rare to witness a silent Sonny Carisi, but this was it. One by one, people started to leave the party. Mia and Joy took your son to the bowling alley. Rafael wanted to be the last so he could have a talk with you, but apparently, Sonny had the same thing in mind.

Rafael was helping you cleaning up the apartment when you noticed Sonny, on your small balcony. “How long has he been there?” You asked Rafael, who just raised his shoulders, clearly annoyed. You joined Sonny, not knowing that Rafael could hear everything you two were talking about.

“You okay there, Sonshine?” Sonny chuckled.

“A bit stunned, I guess.” He said, not looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I—I was afraid to tell you,”

“Why?”

“Because of what happened a few months ago. Because I’m scared to leave you. Because—I was afraid to change my mind after I told you,”

He finally looked at you. “I’ll never hold you back, Y/N. You know that? You talk so much about Sweden, so does Tom. I’m not completely surprised,”

“Under different circumstances—“ you said, letting the silence says the rest. Sonny turned to his side, so he was facing you.

“I was okay with being your second choice, Y/N, as long as you chose me. But you’re also leaving to be away from him, aren’t you?”

You nodded. “I don’t want to promise you anything, Sonny. But maybe—after that year away—“

He knew what you meant. Sonny put his hand on your cheek, softly caressing your skin with his thumb. Before he could lean in to kiss you, you both heard the balcony window opening. Rafael was standing there. “Who’s your first choice, Y/N?” He just asked. Sonny loudly sighed and turned his back to the lawyer.

“Not important, Rafael.”

“Por favor— answer me.”

“You, idiot,” Sonny muttered, still looking over Manhattan.

“Can—can you come inside for a moment, please?” Rafael asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” Sonny said, and turned around to kiss your forehead, “Don’t make anything stupid. Call me,” he kissed your forehead again and walked past Rafael to leave.

“Great timing, Barba,” you sighed.

“I—I don’t understand,” he struggled to say.

“You may be a smart-ass lawyer but when it comes to relationships, you’re very dumb,”

“How long have you—?”

“Been in love with you? About three years. Somehow, the more you pushed me away, the more it made me fall,”

“I pushed you away only because I was scared. Scared of the things I feel for you,”

“You can’t—you can’t confess your love to me as I’m leaving the States, Rafael. That’s not fair,”

“If I don’t do it now, when am I supposed to do it? Over the phone while you’re in Sweden? Or when you come back and choose Carisi?” He paused. “Did you guys sleep together or something?”

“Definitely none of your business,” you said. “And you had five years. Five fucking years, during which all you did was making me feel like a burden for you,”

“I—I never meant to do that. I’m sorry,”

“It’s too late, Rafael. I’m leaving anyway,”

“I’ll wait for you if you ask me to,”

“I’m not. Just like I won’t ask that to Sonny,”

“Then—what? What do we do?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving with my boy in a few weeks, maybe I’ll come back next year, or maybe I won’t. And everybody goes on with their life,”

“Are you saying that I missed my shot with you?”

“Probably,”

This will be hard to swallow. Rafael probably never will, to be honest. But one thing is sure, he couldn’t miss his last chance to kiss you. He closed the gap between your bodies, and slowly put his hands on each side of your face. Since you weren’t pushing him away, he took it as a permission and leaned in to kiss you. He softly put his lips on yours. Right here, right now, on your balcony, nothing else mattered but you and him.

Things escalated quickly. The kiss got more intense, and you used force to make him step back into your apartment. Still kissing each other, Rafael slid his hands on your butt and your legs, gently squeezing to signal you to jump in his arms, which you did. He pulled away briefly, just to ask you which one was your bedroom.

He laid you down on the bed, clothes quickly fly across the room. This probably wouldn’t change a thing, but Rafael made love to you as if his life depends on it.

Indeed, it didn’t change a thing. Two weeks later, you and Tomas flew to California, spent two weeks there with Nick, before flying to Sweden.

Part two, anyone?

[iam93percentstardust]

what i know about you (would fill a thousand books)

A fic for @tonystarkbingo

Title of Fill: what i know about you (would fill a thousand books) Collaborator: iam93percentstardust Card Number: 4012 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378016 Square Filled: S4 - Sharon Carter Ship/Main Pairing: Carter-Stark Cousins, Stony, Natsharon Rating: G Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Established Relationship, Past Abuse, Insomnia Summary: Here is what Tony knows about Sharon: she tells people she likes blueberry muffins because she thinks it makes her sound grown up, but she prefers chocolate donuts. She likes wildflowers and lilies and violets, but Queen Anne’s lace best of all and that’s what Natasha had brought her for their third date that had tipped her from liking this red-headed spy into loving her. On bad days, she curls up on the couch with the softest blanket she owns and watches old cartoons.

Here is what Sharon knows about Tony: he used to love carrot cake but hasn’t touched it since the day his parents died while he and Sharon were out at dinner. He insists on always having her burner phone’s number when she’s a mission because the one time Fury told him he couldn’t have it, Sharon ended up with three broken ribs. He hates roses because they were what Tiberius always gave him after he did something like cheating on Tony or hitting him or mocking him in front of the press (Steve gives him blue poppies the same shade as the arc reactor and Sharon loves him for that). Word Count: 2284

~

Here is what the world knows about Tony Stark’s childhood: he’s born to Howard and Maria Stark and grows up surrounded by luxury. His father worked hand in hand with the Howling Commandos. Every year, Howard hosts a reunion for the Howlies, and ever since they’re introduced to a newborn Tony, they dote on him, despite Howard’s insistence that his son doesn’t need more people to fawn over him.

Here is what the world knows about Sharon Carter’s childhood: not much. The world doesn’t really care about a single blonde child. But here’s what Director Nicholas Fury knows about her childhood: she’s raised by a single father, who happens to be the nephew to one Margaret Carter, and when her father is killed in a car crash when she’s three years old, her great-aunt swoops in to take her in. Director Carter never explicitly says that she retires to focus on her great-niece but Fury is more than capable of reading between the lines.

Here is what only a few people know about both of their childhoods: Tony spends every summer at Aunt Peggy’s house until he goes off to MIT when he’s fourteen. He never tells her but those summers are the happiest times of his childhood. The year he turns ten, his idyllic summer is interrupted by the arrival of his favorite cousin, who has no idea of how to care for a newborn and needs his aunt’s help. Tony doesn’t know how to care for a newborn either, but he’s as enamored of baby Sharon as she is of him so he helps as much as he can.

By the time Tony leaves for MIT four years later, he and Sharon are closer siblings than Aunt Peggy’s known some flesh-and-blood siblings to be. She never tells anyone, but she counts bringing the two of them together to be one of the best things she’s ever done in her life.

~

Sharon’s exhausted by the time she gets back to Avengers Tower. She doesn’t really regret leaving her job at the CIA to take on being the Avengers’ liaison to the UN, but it certainly leaves her way more exhausted than her old job ever did. She gets it now, why Aunt Peggy had hated politicians so much.

It’s late, late enough that even JARVIS sounds weary when he welcomes her home as she steps onto the elevator. She leans her forehead against the cool metal wall as the elevator rises through the tower, dozing off just a little. Her phone chimes and Sharon pulls it out, smiling fondly as she reads Natasha’s text: Let me know when you land. Just like her girlfriend to send her a text asking her to check in. Natasha doesn’t know that she came back early, planning on surprising her for their anniversary tomorrow.

“Hey, JARVIS?” she asks.

“Yes, Agent Carter?”

“Don’t tell Natasha I’m back yet?”

“Of course. Only Sir and Captain Rogers are aware you’ve returned.”

In her sleep-befuddled state, it takes her a moment to realize why Steve would know she’s back. But of course, the team leader would need to be updated of the team’s whereabouts, even those not currently on the active duty roster.

“Thanks.”

The elevator stops and she steps out onto the team floors, intent on putting the chocolates she’d picked up in Geneva in the kitchen for people to swipe in the morning. The TV is playing softly in the living room and she pokes her head in, curious to see who’s still up.

It’s Steve, watching the playback from the team’s last mission. He perks up as soon as he hears her footsteps on the kitchen tile, only to droop when he realizes it’s her. It makes her pause, that reaction, and she sighs.

“How long has he been down there?” she asks.

“Three days,” Steve says quietly.

~

Here is what Tony knows about Sharon: she tells people she likes blueberry muffins because she thinks it makes her sound grown up, but she prefers chocolate donuts. She likes wildflowers and lilies and violets, but Queen Anne’s lace best of all and that’s what Natasha had brought her for their third date that had tipped her from liking this red-headed spy into loving her. On bad days, she curls up on the couch with the softest blanket she owns and watches old cartoons.

She has a habit of taking on more than she can chew and going into what she calls “anxiety spirals” when she realizes what she’s done that only Tony can talk her down from.

Here is what Sharon knows about Tony: he used to love carrot cake but hasn’t touched it since the day his parents died while he and Sharon were out at dinner. He insists on always having her burner phone’s number when she’s a mission because the one time Fury told him he couldn’t have it, Sharon ended up with three broken ribs. He hates roses because they were what Tiberius always gave him after he did something like cheating on Tony or hitting him or mocking him in front of the press (Steve gives him blue poppies the same shade as the arc reactor and Sharon loves him for that).

He always blames himself for things going wrong, even when there’s nothing he could have done, and he’ll stay up for days making sure that it never happens again.

~

Sharon sighs again. Three days ago, Clint fell off a ledge during a mission; Sharon had watched the fight on the UN’s monitors. Clint landed in a dumpster, which broke the worst of the fall, but he still ended up with a broken wrist. He won’t be joining the team on their missions for at least another couple of months while he recovers. If she knows Tony, he’s been down in the workshop ever since, working on something that’ll make sure Clint never breaks another wrist.

“Code not working?” she asks Steve. He shakes his head, looking exhausted down to his bones. “I’ll go down there.”

“You don’t have to,” Steve says quickly. “I know you’re tired.”

She smiles at him, appreciating how much he cares, but... “I’m sure you two are both tired as well.” He grins ruefully back at her, confirming that he hasn’t slept either since Tony disappeared into the workshop. “Someone has to drag him out, and I’ll bet he hasn’t thought about blocking my access.”

~

Here is what Tony thought the first time he met Natasha Romanoff: You tried to shoot her the first time you saw her. You are not worthy of my little sister.

Here is what Sharon thought the first time she met Steve Rogers: You told him you knew men worth ten of him. You are not worthy of my big brother.

Here is what Tony thought the first time he saw Natasha and Sharon together: You bring her chocolate donuts and Queen Anne’s lace and know to put on Sleeping Beauty when she has a bad day. You might not be worthy of her but I don’t really think anyone is, and she loves you, so if I have to choose anyone, it might as well be you.

Here is what Sharon thought the first time she saw Steve and Tony together: I still don’t know if you’re worthy of him, but you learned how to make cheesecake for him and you bring him poppies and you always make sure my phone number gets to him, even when Fury tells me I have to go completely dark, and he loves you, so if I have to choose anyone, it might as well be you.

~

The workshop walls are dark when she steps out onto the floor, but the door opens for her as easy as it always does, and she smiles. Maybe Tony didn’t realize he’d need to block her access too or maybe he just knows that that won’t fly with her, same as it won’t fly with Pepper, same as it wouldn’t fly with Steve if he ever realizes that he’s one of the few people Tony would let pull him from the workshop.

“You weren’t there to say hi,” she says as she steps inside.

Tony turns and blinks at her slowly, the shadows deep under his eyes. “I sent a car for you, didn’t I?” he says eventually but he’s missing the usual venom in his voice. He goes back to his work.

“That’s not the same thing.” She comes up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist, hooking her chin over his shoulder. Just as she’d suspected, he’s working on a new wrist guard for Clint, something sturdy enough to protect him from breaking his wrist but flexible enough it won’t inhibit his mobility. Sharon doesn’t really speak technobabble the way Tony does, but even she can tell that there are several mistakes in his formulas, probably from his lack of sleep.

“Steve misses you,” she tells him.

“I’ll come up when I’m done.”

“Or you can come up now and catch up on sleep. This will still be here tomorrow.”

“No,” he argues. “I have to make sure this is ready for Clint—”

“When will he be back on the duty roster?”

“Seven weeks, three days, and twelve hours,” Tony says automatically.

“And you don’t think this can wait another day?” she asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

Tony hesitates and then drops his head back onto her shoulder, saying to the ceiling, “I can’t sleep.”

Sharon wrinkles her brow. She knows that already, but Tony is already shaking his head.

“I mean, before…all this,” he explains, waving a limp hand in the air in the vague direction of the plans for Clint’s wrist guard.

Oh.

This happens sometimes, she knows. Tony’s insomnia acts up and he’ll spend a few days in the workshop, unable to sleep, or working from his bed because he thinks he should at least spend some time there. But as far as she knows, this is the first time it’s acted up while he’s been with Steve, and knowing Tony, he’s probably worried that Steve won’t like it if Tony spends all night in their bedroom working on his tablet. A silly concern really, she thinks Steve wouldn’t care if he was in literal hell as long as he was there with Tony, but Tony gets in his head about things like this.

“Well,” she begins hesitantly, “I won’t say that going to bed with your boyfriend is a sure way to get you to sleep, because that’s ridiculous, but I know that Steve’s been up as long as you have because he’s worried about you. So maybe you could go up there so he could get some sleep?”

Tony tilts his head to look at her. “He has?”

~

Here is what Tony knows about Sharon: there isn’t a thing in the world she wouldn’t do for Natasha.

Here is what Sharon knows about Tony: there isn’t a thing in the world he wouldn’t do for Steve.

~

She steps off the elevator for the third time that night, Tony trailing behind her. He brightens as soon as he sees Steve, stumbling past her into Steve’s waiting arms. Steve leans down and kisses the top of Tony’s head before shooting Sharon a grateful smile.

She winks back at him and then heads for the team’s private elevators, only available from this floor and the only way to reach their rooms. Grabbing Tony hadn’t taken too long but it’s still longer than she’d like when she has Natasha waiting for her in their bedroom. Tony’s all taken care of, Steve more than up to the task, so she can head to bed now.

Her and Natasha’s floor is almost entirely dark when she finally reaches it, except for a small sliver of light stretching out from underneath their bedroom door. Sharon navigates the floor easily, stepping around the furniture she can’t see and over the heels she’s sure Natasha has left lying around.

The bedroom door swings open before she reaches it, revealing her beautiful girlfriend framed in the light. Sharon smiles and reaches for her, cupping Natasha’s cheek in her hand as she kisses her.

“Hello, beautiful,” she murmurs. “I’m back.”

“Early,” Natasha remarks, clearly surprised.

Sharon shrugs. “It would have been earlier but I had to make a stop to pick up Tony.”

Natasha’s expression clears. “Steve’s been worried about him.”

Sharon nods. “That’s why I dragged him out.” She lets Natasha pull her inside their bedroom, herd her into the shower, and rinse off. Neither of them are much in the mood for a lengthy shower, so as soon as Sharon considers herself clean enough, she turns the water off, deciding that she’ll take another shower when she’s better rested.

They collapse into bed, Natasha curling around Sharon as soon as they’re situated. Sharon’s phone chimes once with a soft text message. She reaches over to the dresser, intent on turning the phone off, only to smile when she sees the message from Steve—a picture of Tony curled up, sound asleep on his bed.

“Turn it off, babe,” Natasha says sleepily, and Sharon would never deny her anything, so she does, and then wraps herself around Natasha.

~

Here is what Tony knows about Sharon: she is loved, by Aunt Peggy and Nick Fury and the agents under her command and Clint and Natasha.

Here is what Sharon knows about Tony: he is loved, by Aunt Peggy and the Avengers and Pepper and Rhodey and Steve.

Here is what they know about each other: they are loved, by a thousand other people, but by each other most of all.

[your-mom-friend]

Some series I think people should read AKA Book Recs

Magonia - By Maria Dahvana Headley

Synopsis: Aza Ray is drowning in thin air.

Since she was a baby, Aza Ray Boyle has suffered from a mysterious lung disease that makes it ever harder for her to breathe, to speak—to live. So when Aza catches a glimpse of a ship in the sky, her family chalks it up to a cruel side effect of her medication. But Aza doesn’t think this is a hallucination. She can hear someone on the ship calling her name. Only her best friend, Jason, listens. Jason, who’s always been there. Jason, for whom she might have more-than-friendly feelings. But before Aza can consider that thrilling idea, something goes terribly wrong. Aza is lost to our world—and found by another. Magonia. Above the clouds, in a land of trading ships, Aza is not the weak and dying thing she was. In Magonia, she can breathe for the first time. Better, she has immense power—but as she navigates her new life, she discovers that war between Magonia and Earth is coming. In Aza’s hands lies the fate of the whole of humanity—including the boy who loves her. Where do her loyalties lie?

My experience: This book is ALL sorts of weird. It’s has a strange writing style and there’s weird formatting and quirks that just add to the experience. Definitely not something you could read aloud because there’s elements that you just can’t say. The book OPERATES on the vibes you get from reading it.

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs

Synopsis:  A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow-impossible though it seems-they may still be alive. A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows.

My experience: Definitely worth a read but definitely not for everyone. Uses semi-creepy images taken from auctions to illustrate a lot. More people have seen the movie than read the book. Please don’t trust the movie they couldn’t even get the names right. This fandom exists so don’t @ me it just deserves so much more love than it has. 

Legend - Marie Lu

Synopsis:  What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem. From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths—until the day June's brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family's survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias's death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets.

My experience: I’ll admit I didn’t want to read this. More out of stubbornness than anything else because my sister forced me to. Bu it’s a REALLY good book. As the first in a trilogy it’s amazing. Marie Lu is one of my favourite authors. Which brings me to my next book

The Young Elites - Marie Lu

Synopsis:  I am tired of being used, hurt, and cast aside. Adelina Amouteru is a survivor of the blood fever. A decade ago, the deadly illness swept through her nation. Most of the infected perished, while many of the children who survived were left with strange markings. Adelina’s black hair turned silver, her lashes went pale, and now she has only a jagged scar where her left eye once was. Her cruel father believes she is a malfetto, an abomination, ruining their family’s good name and standing in the way of their fortune. But some of the fever’s survivors are rumored to possess more than just scars—they are believed to have mysterious and powerful gifts, and though their identities remain secret, they have come to be called the Young Elites. Teren Santoro works for the king. As Leader of the Inquisition Axis, it is his job to seek out the Young Elites, to destroy them before they destroy the nation. He believes the Young Elites to be dangerous and vengeful, but it’s Teren who may possess the darkest secret of all. Enzo Valenciano is a member of the Dagger Society. This secret sect of Young Elites seeks out others like them before the Inquisition Axis can. But when the Daggers find Adelina, they discover someone with powers like they’ve never seen. Adelina wants to believe Enzo is on her side, and that Teren is the true enemy. But the lives of these three will collide in unexpected ways, as each fights a very different and personal battle. But of one thing they are all certain: Adelina has abilities that shouldn’t belong in this world. A vengeful blackness in her heart. And a desire to destroy all who dare to cross her. It is my turn to use. My turn to hurt.

My experience: This series had me HOOKED. If you want moral endings and noble characters you may not like this one. Adelina has every reason to be angry and bitter and she makes it known. She has such a vague moral compass and even her powers are rooted in darkness and she succumbs to it, as much as she may try to run. The series is full of POC’s and amazing world building. If you want something outside of the usual story, I recommend this with no hesitation.

Rebel of the Sands - Alwyn Hamilton 

Synopsis:  Mortals rule the desert nation of Miraji, but mythical beasts still roam the wild and remote areas, and rumor has it that somewhere, djinn still perform their magic.  For humans, it’s an unforgiving place, especially if you’re poor, orphaned, or female. Amani Al’Hiza is all three. She’s a gifted gunslinger with perfect aim, but she can’t shoot her way out of Dustwalk, the back-country town where she’s destined to wind up wed or dead. Then she meets Jin, a rakish foreigner, in a shooting contest, and sees him as the perfect escape route. But though she’s spent years dreaming of leaving Dustwalk, she never imagined she’d gallop away on mythical horse—or that it would take a foreign fugitive to show her the heart of the desert she thought she knew.

My experience: This series again is absolutely incredible. I love the use of language and the world building and the characters. A lot of the world building was really close to my heart because it’s rooted in Arabic and Islamic traditions. Amani is one of the best characters I’ve ever read about and I only WISH I could buy the rest of the books soon.

[katefiction]

Second Chances - Part I

by mrandmrswales (Emily) / August 23. 2013

This is slightly different to what I normally write but I’m quite proud of it so far! There should be another part to it, as its quite a long fanfiction. Thank you to the lovely Maria for helping me with the title, I was stuck about this but I think it fits nicely. Anyway, don’t forget to give me feedback and I hope you like reading it! (This is all fiction)

The first thing that 19 year old Catherine Middleton saw when her lids fluttered open that first morning was the sight of rain pouring down outside the thin glass window. The trees swayed vulnerably under the force of the cruel wind. Kate let out an inaudible groan and squeezed her eyes shut again, imagining that the rain and wind were nothing but the soundtrack to a typical morning at home. The previous night had been a haze of plane flights and driving through rocky terrain until a cluster of cabins had loomed out of the night. Kate and about 20 others had been herded from a car and split into one of the many cabins, males one way and females the other. By that point, everyone’s eyelids had been drooping and sleep had been a welcome relief.

‘All right everyone up!’

A shrill voice echoed through the hut and several loud groans echoed across the room. Kate grinned at the sound, remembering the fuss that would occur in the mornings at boarding school. She pulled herself up off the floor, her back protesting at the night slept on the floor. Her body would have to get used to it, she had 10 weeks left of this.

Half an hour later, the women were herded out of the hut, across the wet, cold yard and into a small kitchen. A huge vat of porridge bubbled on the small cooker and roughly 10 boys sat bleary eyed at a long bench while many more were gathered in a parallel room to be briefed by the other guides. A couple of hushed whispers and giggles erupted from behind Kate and she turned back to see the source.

‘Oh my god!’

‘I can’t believe it’s really him!’

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to sweep her gaze across the bench, her eyes eventually settling on a young man with familiar eyes and a mob of blonde hair. It was no other than Prince William.

————————————————————————————————————————————–

‘Hi I’m Will.’

‘Kate. Pleased to meet you.’ William met her gaze from under his blonde mop of hair and smiled bashfully. Kate turned to the sink to hide the sudden blush creeping up her neck.

‘Shall we get started?’

‘Yep. What needs to be done?’

‘I think the dishes and then the cutlery.’ Kate said, her gaze sweeping over the pile of dirty plates beside the two tiny sinks. Outside the window, the sun swept its golden rays from over the distant hills and the sound of their friends laughing and chatting filled their ears. ‘Let’s get it done shall we?’ Kate said at the envious look on William’s face.

‘So…um, where abouts do you live?’ William asked racking his brain for conversation starters. Kate smiled.

‘I live in a village called Bucklebury in Berkshire.’ She replied softly. ‘You live in London I suppose?’

William shrugged, ‘Yeah, but I also live in Scotland I guess. I go there quite a lot.’

‘Ah nice. I love Scotland.’ Kate replied with a reassuring smile.

William grinned, happy to have a mutual interest at last. ‘Yeah. It’s always been my sanctuary because the paps can’t get to us there.’ He replied casually and Kate shot him a glance. The idea of being chased around by strange men seemed absurd, but to him it was presumably normal.

‘What’s it like being royal?’ She asked suddenly, blushing furiously at his amused look. ‘Sorry..I..that was an odd question.’ She muttered, but William shook his head, turning back to the dish he was drying.

‘It’s just something that I’ve always been aware of. Mum always kept Harry and I grounded but the idea of being King always hung over me. I’m different, but I have always resented being so. The paparazzi make it harder of course because nothing is ever private to them.’ Kate smiled sympathetically.

‘I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to have old men chasing you around but I can guess. It must be really ghastly.’

‘Yeah it’s pretty bad. It makes finding girlfriends or making friends hard because they’re never afraid to hunt them down and find every last detail about them.’ William sighed and moved onto the next plate. Kate tutted and did the same, shooting glances at his hunched frame and floppy blonde hair. The idea of having a casual conversation with the future King of England at a sink in Chile seemed almost dream-like and unimaginable, but to her surprise it was so normal. He was just like any other 19 year old boy except slightly more experienced in life’s hardships.

‘So what university are you going to go to after the summer?’ She asked flippantly. William grimaced and opened his mouth to speak.

‘Oh I’m-’

‘KATE?!!! CAN YOU COME HERE PLEASE? MARK HAS SPILT WATER ON YOUR JUMPER!’ William was interrupted and Kate groaned.

‘Excuse me.’ She said and rushed from the room, William shooting an amused glance at her as she hurried from the room.

—————————————————————————————–

It was a crisp, cool morning as Kate left the cabins to make her way down to the woods where she was to chop wood with William. Dew shone like diamonds over the springy grass and the mist hung over the trees, cloaking the area in grey. The hill was steep and wet as Kate tentatively made her way down towards where William stood, already chopping wood. He looked up as she approached

‘Hello again, you and I always seem to be together!’ He grinned ‘Come to check I’m chopping right?!’

‘Yeah, Kirsty said she didn’t trust you not to accidentally chop your arm off’ Kate replied with a chuckle. William’s face twisted into mock hurt and he handed her an axe.

The two began chopping in contented silence, the sound of birds chirping joyfully and wood splitting under the blow of metal being the only noises that filled the valley. Kate looked up through her fringe at William, admiring the concentration on his young face, every now and again reaching to sweep a lock of golden hair away from his face. He looked at her suddenly and she blushed.

‘Admiring my talent at chopping wood?!’ He teased and Kate laughed.

‘Most definitely. One might even think you did it as a professional’ William tutted but smiled all the same.

‘So tell me about yourself. Do you have any brothers or sisters?’

‘I have a younger sister and brother called Pippa and James. Pippa and I are very close because were quite close in age, whereas James is quite a bit younger than me. I love him very much though, although he does drive me mad sometimes! Although, Pippa drives me more mad! She knows how to wind me up better than anything.’

William smiled ‘Care to share how?’

‘That would be telling!’ The two’s eyes held each other’s for a moment and Kate felt a small blush creeping up her neck.

‘So.’ She said suddenly, shaking her head free from thoughts of drowning in his clear blue eyes. ‘You just have Harry? You get on well?’

‘Oh yes, Harry is one of my best friend. He, like your sister loves to wind me up though. Especially in public when I can’t do anything about it! Ever since Mum…died. We’ve been very close. I was the one that…told him.’ William’s eyes shadowed over and his face became sad, almost vulnerable. Kate said nothing, averting her eyes so as to give him a moment. She had never dreamt that she would ever hear William talking so openly to her of all people about his mother, one of the most famous women who ever roamed the earth and was so dear to him.

Before she could stop herself she blurted out ‘I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been.’

William looked at her and she saw his eyes soften slightly as they roamed over her. ‘It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It tore him apart, and even to this day I’m the only one who ever truly knows how badly it did. You don’t recover from something like that.’

‘No.’ Kate said softly and stepped forward so she was level to him.

‘I miss her so much’ He whispered, his eyes locking with hers.

‘Your mother would be so proud of everything you’ve done. You’ve been a fantastic brother to Harry and you’ve held yourself together. That’s more than some people could do. She replied softly.

He looked at her for a moment ‘You’re a special girl Kate.’

‘I like to think so.’ Kate replied jokingly and he grinned, the sadness broken.

‘Shall we play a game?’

‘A game?’

‘Yeah. How about 21 questions? So I can really get to know you.’

Kate laughed ‘Go on then, but I can assure you I’m a very boring person.’

‘No more boring than me. Right, first question: How old were you when you had your first kiss?’

’16.’

What’s your favourite food?

‘Aw that’s a hard one. Umm… I’m going to go with my mum’s spaghetti bolognaise.’

‘Good answer. What’s one of your most embarrassing moments?’

‘The time I accidentally flashed my ‘behind’ at my housemistress. We used to do it at the boys and she walked in one time. Oh God it was so embarrassing.’

William laughed ‘Right, question number four: What is it of me that you like the most?’

‘Your eyes.’

William raised his eyebrows ‘anything else while we’re at it?’

‘Shut up and ask me the next question!’

‘All right! Favourite sport?’

‘Hockey’

‘Favourite item of clothing?’

‘My little black dress.’

‘What do you want to be when your older?’

‘I still don’t know. Something to do with fashion I think.’

‘Favourite colour?’

‘Blue.’

‘Favourite movie?’

‘Ummm. Probably-’

‘CATHERINE?!’

Kate jumped and William turned around. Kirsty, their activities leader stood at the top of the hill. ‘YOUR NEEDED UP HERE PLEASE! IS THE WOOD ALL CHOPPED?’

‘YES! JUST COMING’ Kate shouted back and began to gather her wood together. ‘Guess we’ll have to finish this another time.’

‘Guess so. Well see you later, I’ve just got a bit to go.’

‘Okay.’ Kate smiled and tore herself away, reluctantly heading back to camp, cursing whoever it was that needed her.

——————————————————————————————-

‘Good Morning everyone, today is the day when you meet the children at the nursery for the first time! Now you all have had training the last few days so you know what you’re doing. Just have fun and be gentle with them, particularly you lot!’ Kirsty their trainer said with a laugh, pointing at the men who were listening to her with huge grins on their faces.

Kirsty continued,  Kate and the others listening intently to their team leader as she ran them through the details of the school day. Kate had been looking forward to doing this rather than just doing activities at the camp as she loved children. From across the circle of people, she caught William’s eye and he grinned cheekily at her. The two had grown close as they were often thrown together in activities such as hunting, chopping wood or just washing up. She had even heard William say he preferred her company to some of the other girls who did nothing but ogle him or giggle when he spoke. All in all however, they all got on well and had become fast friends. Kate had grown close to many of the women and men, some older, some younger. William had become her closest confidant and the longer she spent in his company, the more Kate was beginning to fall for him. She had tried not to, especially as she knew he wouldn’t like her back like that. However, unfortunately when it came to love, logic never came into it. Kate stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to listening to Kirsty, trying to ignore the tingly feeling in her stomach from his smile.

Kate watched with a huge grin on her face as Will and Mark Turner careered around the patio with two 3 year old boys on their shoulders. A huge amount of noise was coming from all four and Kate and the other volunteers were all watching and laughing as the boys screeched with joy. The last two hours had been spent teaching the children to read and spell, with time imbetween for playing. The children were all very sweet and Kate had started to fall in love with several of the little girls who insisted on playing hairdressers with her long hair. Kate was about to turn back into the classroom to continue the English lesson she was teaching when William glanced up and grinned at her from underneath a lock of blonde hair. Immediately, a shiver ran down her spine and she smiled dreamily back. Beside her, her friend Ellie looked suspiciously at her. Kate caught her eye and blushed.

‘What?’

‘You’re not falling for him are you?’ She whispered back, concern mingling with amusement.

‘What? No of course not. He’s like my best friend!’

‘Yeah, but that look you just gave him was hardly platonic.’

‘Oh come on Ellie, he’s good looking but I don’t like him like that.’

‘Me thinks the lady doth protest too much’

Kate tutted and turned away, not wanting Ellie to figure out the truth from the blush on her cheeks. She knew it was ridiculous and she would get over him but in all honesty, she knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. She just hoped he would realise or even return her feelings.

‘Perhaps tonight at the salsa dancing he will whisk you onto the dance floor and kiss you passionately!’ Ellie whispered again. Kate snorted and returned her eyes back to where William was now cuddling several youngsters, however Ellie’s words niggled in her head. Maybe tonight was the night.

—————————————————————————————-

Kate shivered and warmed her hands over the roaring bonfire, captivated by the different colours dancing together in harmony. Beyond it, shadows of her friends illuminated against the night sky by the flames showed their bodies, dancing in harmony to the music that roared through the village. Laughter filled the air, partly to do with the alcohol supplied to them by the villagers and partly to do with the Salsa dancing, many partook in. Turning her head to the left slightly, she caught sight of William, leaning against the wall of a little hut, casually holding a glass of local beer. His deep laughter sent a shiver down her spine which she revelled in momentarily before chastising herself for allowing him to have that effect over her. Standing in front of him in a casual stance, stood Hilary Castle; her blonde hair glowing in the light of the fire and her lithe body leaning into him. She watched with jealousy as he dipped his head closer to her to hear what she was saying before laughing again, throwing his head back in mirth while his blue eyes twinkled. Unable to watch any longer, Kate stood up and wandered over to where the salsa dancing was taking place. Within minutes she was thrust into the arms of a slightly drunk village boy, the music running through her as she allowed her inhibitions to leave her.

It took one glance over to ruin the evening for Kate. All of a sudden, the warm tingly feeling from the dancing and the alcohol and the laughter left her. She felt numb, her eyes unable to tear themselves away from the sight of his lips moving over hers, their bodies pressed against the wall in eagerness and the glass of beer abandoned on the floor at their feet, its contents leaking over the grass. The shrieks of laughter from her drunk companions only reminded her that what alcohol she had consumed was not enough to numb the pain of him kissing someone else. Extracting herself from her partner’s iron grip, she hurried over to the bar and grabbed a glass of something.

‘You okay?’ Kate jumped and whirled around to face a young local. He had large brown eyes and floppy hair. He grinned at her ‘I’m Marcos’, holding out his hand to shake hers. Then, he pointed to the large glass she was about to knock back. ‘Do you just want to get really drunk or is there something wrong?!’ He asked, sounding amused. ‘That stuff is strong.’

‘Oh. Well…I just. Um.’ Kate stuttered, her brain refusing to form coherent thoughts. Then, on seeing his kind expression, sunk into the chair next to him and buried her head in her hand. ‘To be honest, I just want to block out the image of the guy I like snogging the face off someone else.’

‘Ahh.’ He replied, and took a measured sip of his drink. ‘Guy troubles.’ Kate nodded and gave a muffled sniff. ‘Well I know the perfect way of clearing your head.’ Kate looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

‘What would that be? And don’t say Salsa dancing, I’m really not in the mood.’

He chuckled. ‘Salsa dancing, when done with a professional, is very sexy. It looks fantastic and is perfect for getting back at him. You don’t have to do much, leave it up to me. All you have to do is look interested in me, laugh and smile and he will be fuming.’ He replied, puffing out his chest proudly. ‘Come on!’

Kate hesitated. She didn’t want to be petty, but it did sound perfect at showing him she didn’t care. Plus it would save her from disgracing herself tonight and ending up with a colossal hangover in the morning. Giving him her hand, she allowed herself to be pulled from the chair and into the open, next to the roaring fire.

Kate was vaguely aware of the noise surrounding her as they cheered her and Marcos on. The music fired through her veins, stronger than what alcohol could have done. His arms around her were like an iron vice, but were gentle at the same time. Their hips moved in unison and his eyes bored into hers. If she didn’t know that the look on his usual cheeky face was for effect, she would think that he was a passionate lover. He spun her around, flipped her upside down and lifted her to the sky, all the while; never leaving her eyes. She played her part, laughing and smiling, although it didn’t take long for it to become natural rather than forced. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw William, watching. His features knitted together in a conflicted expression while Hilary stood beside him, cheering them on like the rest of the blurred faces around the campfire as she passed them. Marcos let out a small smile every time he saw her eyes dart away from his to see William.

‘It’s working’ He murmured, flipping her down again suddenly, a shriek of laughter escaping her lips as he did so.

The evening ended with them all singing around the fire, most very drunk by now. Kate herself was feeling a bit woozy, having had a few drinks with Marcos afterwards. She had caught William watching her, even so with his arm draped around Hilary, a woozy smile on his face and his usually clear blue eyes hazy. She ignored him, hoping that maybe he would see how much he had hurt her. Surely he knew that she liked him? Perhaps he didn’t. Kate had pushed that thought out of her head. Practically everyone else knew she liked him, surely he did too?

Kate collapsed into bed that night feeling happier than she had in days. Slowly the sounds of singing quietened down, and one by one, everyone had fallen into a contented sleep. Kate slept soundly, a small smile still playing on her lips. William however, lying next door, lay awake, the images of Kate pressed against another man with a huge smile on her face flashing through his mind, mingling with the ones of his lips pressed against Hillary’s. Confliction ran through him, was it possible he liked Kate? She was his best friend…but what about Hilary? He knew he liked Hilary also. Kate couldn’t possibly like him, he thought. Eventually William fell into a troubled sleep, alcohol numbing his thoughts.

————————————————————————————————————————————–

Kate let out a huge yawn as she made her way to the kitchen the following morning for breakfast. Truth be told she had a little headache, but nothing compared to what it could have been if Marcos hadn’t stepped in when he did. Wondering if there was some porridge, she opened the door and entered the small, messy kitchen. Her heart sank as she saw the one person she really didn’t want to see sat at the large table in the middle. He looked tired and was gulping down a cup of coffee. He looked up as she entered and smiled nervously.

‘Morning Kate’

‘Morning’ she replied, ‘Is there any porridge going?’

‘Yeah it’s on the stove’

Kate helped herself, trying to ignore the tense silence that passed between them. It made her sad, she didn’t want their friendship compromised. She smiled at him as she took a seat opposite him.

‘You look tired’ She commented as he knocked back the dredges of coffee from his mug. He shrugged.

’Yeah. Last night was quite wild.’

Kate nodded, her lips set in a tight line before she began to eat her porridge.

William lifted his head up from where they had previously been staring into his coffee cup and his blue eyes held hers for a few magical seconds.

‘What do you think of Hilary? Is she as nice as I think she is?’ He asked, trying to make light of the awkward situation.

‘Yeah, she’s lovely. Had a crush on you for ages. She wouldn’t shut up last night!’ Kate chuckled, but it sounded hollow and empty, a shell of its previous self.

William nodded nervously and opened his mouth to speak when the door flew open and William was interrupted. Hilary entered, in all her shining glory, her blonde hair done in a French plait and a tight white top highlighting her curves.

‘Morning!’ She chirruped loudly, settling herself next to William ‘How did you sleep Wills? Hope you spent all night dreaming about me like I did!’ Kate struggled to hold in a wince as she laughed loudly, flipping her hair back and thrusting her chest out.

William smiled, ‘Of course. Who could forget about you?’ Kate’s wince was even more obvious than before and Hilary turned to her, her eyes narrowed

‘Is something the matter? Your ruining the atmosphere between me and my boyfriend’ She announced to which Kate laughed hollowly.

‘Boyfriend? So shoving your tongue down a practical stranger’s throat one evening suddenly means you’re together does it?’ Kate stood up suddenly, picked her bowl up and dumped it loudly in the sink. ‘I’ll be in the village if you need me’ and swept out, leaving William and Hilary staring in astonishment after her.

————————————————————————————————————————————–

Hi Kate,

Pippa here! I miss you lots but I’m sure you’re really enjoying yourself out in Chile! I can’t believe that Prince William is in the same place as you!! You will have to tell me ALL the gossip when you get back! My friends and I are seriously jealous of you! A-Levels are as tiring as always, even more so without you to help me! I broke up with Louis and I really wish you were here to give me advice. It sucks but I’ll get over it. I felt it best as he’s leaving for Australia in a few weeks. Do you have your eye on someone? I bet you do! Anyway, Mum wants to add a note on so I’d better finish! Write back soon okay?

Lots of Love

Pippa. Xxx

Darling Kate,

I hope you’re doing well, I’ve been checking the weather forecast every day to see that you will be okay. You’re in for a bit of nice weather for a while so that will be nice. Thank you for the lovely letter you sent a few weeks ago, it sounds lovely out there. We miss you so much, James and Daddy send their love. James is in the middle of his exams so high tension running through the house on weekends! Pippa tells him to stop worrying but you know how hard it is for him! I miss being able to talk to you about things darling but I suppose I’d better get used to it since you will be off to University soon! Must end now darling as I’m running out of space. All my love and kisses

Mummy xxx

Kate smiled in amusement at her sister’s chatty expressions as she wandered away from the tiny post office in the village. Some of her anger and upset had cleared on receiving her letter and the sun shining made her feel brighter.

‘Hello again’ Came a familiar voice behind her and she spun around to face Marcos, his dark eyes dancing and his hair messy. ‘How’s your head?!’

Kate grinned despite herself, his smile was infectious. ‘Not too bad. Although watching Hilary and William snog over breakfast didn’t help my mood.’ Marcos frowned sympathetically

‘Not even the sexy salsa with a dashing signor helped?’

‘No.’ Kate sighed and began to walk, him trotting beside her as they made their way to the local crafts shop.

‘He’s an idiot then.’

‘No he’s not’ Kate replied before she could stop herself.

‘So are you.’ He said, rolling his eyes. ‘Come on’ and he grabbed her arm and herded her into the shop.

Half an hour later, Kate and Marcos came out of the shop, giggling happily about nothing. Kate felt considerably brighter than she had since she woke up and having bought a few goods for her family had cheered her up.

‘Don’t look now.’ Came Marcos’ voice suddenly, breaking into her thoughts as they made their way back through the village towards the cabins. Kate lifted her head and her eyes scanned the area, falling on the sight of two lovers kissing against a tree. She giggled,

‘Why? It’s cute, they’re just kissing!’                                              

‘No really. Don’t look Kate. It’s William and little miss leave-me-alone-to-snog-my-stranger-boyfriend.’ Kate’s heart plummeted into her stomach and she averted her eyes.

‘Lets go the other way’ She mumbled, but Marcos grabbed her arm and looked at her, his eyes blazing.

‘No. were going to walk right on past.’

‘Oh do we have to?’

‘Yes.’ And with that, he began to drag her up the path towards where they stood, arms entwined and heads bent.

She thought she’d made it past without either noticing, the cabins were so close and she was nearly there-

‘-Kate?’ She winced and turned apprehensively around

‘Yes?’

William was looking up at her, his hair messy and a guilty look on his face. Hilary stood beside him, also slightly rumpled and her lips swollen. William stepped forward

‘Are you okay? You seemed a bit upset this morning.’

‘Oh yes I’m fine! Absolutely smashing.’ She said cheerfully, desperately trying to keep sarcasm out of her tone. “There’s nothing like watching the guy I’m in love with snogging the face of someone else three times in the space of 24 hours” She thought.

William didn’t look convinced and opened his mouth to speak when Hilary stepped forward. She looked a little put out.

‘William. I know she’s your best friend but is there really any need to waste any more of our time together worrying about her? I mean she looks fine to me! Excuse us Kate, my boyfriend and I have some business to attend to.’ She said, a smug look on her face as she finished. She grabbed William’s arm at which he suddenly looked very irritated. Kate ground her teeth together and turned to leave

‘Come on Marcos. Let’s get a drink.’

Marcos nodded obediently and hurried after her, concern etched on his tanned face as she stormed off, all the while William staid rooted to the spot, watching her leave.

to be continued…

[dayscrazed]

Chain of Iron Countdown- Hamilton Parodies

Every day until COI release day, March 2nd, I will be posting a new Hamilton parody based on the characters from The Last Hours book series.

16 Days: WHAT’D I MISS? Thomas= Jefferson 15 Days: MY SHOT  James= Hamilton, Thomas= Lafayette, Christopher= Mulligan, Matthew= Larens, Charles= Aaron Burr 14 Days: HELPLESS Cordelia= Eliza, James= Hamilton 13 Days: RIGHT HAND MAN Will= Washington 12 Days: THE SCHUYLER SISTERS (GIRL SHADOW HUNTERS) Cordelia= Angelica, Anna= Eliza, Lucie=Peggy 11 Days: IT’S QUIET UPTOWN Gideon & Sophie & Thomas= Alexander & Eliza 10 Days: WAIT FOR IT Grace= Aaron Burr 9 Days: GUNS & SHIPS Christopher = Lafayette, James= Washington, Thomas= Hamilton 8 Days: YORKTOWN (THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN) James= Hamilton, Christopher= Lafayette/Mulligan, Matthew= Laurens, Thomas= Lafayette 7 Days: SO NO TO THIS James= Hamilton, Grace= Maria Reynolds 6 Days: THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENS James=Jefferson/Madison, Cordelia=Hamilton, Grace & Charles= Aaron Burr 5 Days: BLOW US ALL AWAY Matthew= Philip 4 BURN Alastair=Eliza, Charles=Hamilton 3 Days: YOU’LL BE BACK Charles= King George, Alastair= America 2 Days: SATISFIED Cordelia=Angelica 1 Day: STORY OF TONIGHT (REPRISE) The Merry Thieves= Hamilton, Lafayette, Laurens, Mulligan, Burr 

Inspired by: Chain of Iron snippet from released first chapter: “I made a promise to Daisy and I will keep that promise. If you wanted to prevent me from doing the right thing, you should have started the campaign quite a bit earlier than the night before my wedding.”

[MATTHEW] I may not live to see our glory!

[LIGHTWOODS] I may not live to see our glory!

[MATTHEW] But I’ve seen wonders great and small

[LIGHTWOODS] I’ve seen wonders great and small

[MATTHEW] ‘Cause if the bookworm can get married

[LIGHTWOODS] If our pal, James can get married—

[MATTHEW] There’s hope for our ass, after all!

[THOMAS] Raise a glass to freedom

[MATTHEW/ CHRISTOPHER] Hey! Something you will never see again!

[CHRISTOPHER] No matter what she tells you

[THOMAS] Let’s have another round tonight!

[MATTHEW] Raise a glass to the four of us!

[THOMAS/ JAMES] Ho!

[CHRISTOPHER] To the newly not poor of us!

[MATTHEW/ THOMAS / JAMES] Woo!

[THOMAS We’ll tell the story of tonight

[MATTHEW] Let’s have another round—

[JAMES] Well, if it isn’t that absurd

[MATTHEW] Sir!

[JAMES] I didn’t think that I would make it

[MATTHEW] To be sure

[LIGHTWOODS] Sir!

[MATTHEW] We should all say congratulations

[CHRISTOPHER] Got a mermaid, sir!

[MATTHEW] I see the whole gang is here

[THOMAS] You are the worst, sir!

[JAMES] Ignore them. Still, thank you, Matthew Fairchild I wish I had your confidence that tomorrow’ll be worthwhile

[MATTHEW] No, you don’t

[JAMES] Yes, I do

[MATTHEW] Now, be sensible From what I hear, you don’t have to, it’s reprehensible

[THOMAS] Well, well, I heard You’ve got a special someone, not your bride, James

[MATTHEW] Is that so?

[THOMAS] What are you tryin’ to hide, James?

[JAMES] I should go

[MATTHEW] No, these guys should go

[CHRISTOPHER] What?

[THOMAS] No!

[MATTHEW] Leave us alone

[THOMAS] Man…

[MATTHEW] It’s alright, James. I wish you’d fought for this girl ‘fore tonight, James

[JAMES] You’re very kind, but I’m afraid it’s unlawful, sir

[MATTHEW] What do you mean?

[JAMES] She’s getting married

[MATTHEW] I see

[JAMES] Getting married to your older brother

[MATTHEW] Oh, right…

[JAMES] Thanks again, Matthew. Smile more I’ll see you on the other side of the altar

[MATTHEW] I will never understand you If you don’t love this woman, don’t marry her! What are you doing it for?

[James] I’ll see you on the other side of the altar

[MATTHEW] I’ll see you on the other side of the altar

[thewinterwaifu]

Hiya Maria! Thanks for responding to my last message. Can you give us your headcanons of Gwyndolin, specifically DarkSouls 1 but I'd also like your take of the character as they appear in later games as well (if it isn't too much of a bother). Ik you're into the souls series and everyone seems to have their own particularly unique take on this character, from gender to personality, and I'd really like to know yours :)

Hello!THIS TURNED OUT TO BE WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED I'M SORRY I REALLY LOVE GWYNDOLIN-

Gender: We all know dark souls doesn't hand us much lore and we have to make our own theories but we know this much:Gwyndolin was born a male but under the blessing of the moon, which is considered girly, so Gwyn forced him to be raised as a woman and wear a dress. I know some people headcanon Gwyndolin as MTF transgender but I personally don't. They never said Gwyndolin identified as a woman, more like was forced to dress as one. In my opinion, he is a cisgender man but continues to dress as a woman because he feels like he owes it to his father and it's his 'punishment' he ha to go through for 'failing' him. So, what's with the boobs on the character model. I'd say it's either a stuffed bra or an illusion spell (I mean, he can create a whole illusion of his sister, who says he can't change his appearance a bit?) Personality: Because of how he dissappointed his father, he is very scared of failure. Thus, he is a complete perfectionist. When Gwynevere left, this feeling only grew even more. Despite of how much he may doubt himself, he will never show it, wanting to keep up this facade of a god who isn't restrained by human feelings, especially those of self doubt or anxiety, thinking that if he shows 'weakness' all of the knights won't see him as a fit leader and merely a shadow of Gwyn who will never be as great as him. Behind the mask of confidence and leadership, he is an introvert and fairly quite shy. If one of his knights tried talking to him about something that wasn't about orders and asking about him or whatever, they'd see that there may be a long pause between his sentences, thinking of what to say. Despite how he fools everyone by making them think Gwynevere is still there and how he tries his hardest to convince the chosen undead to link the fire, despite the consequences this has on the natural order of things, I don't believe Gwyndolin is a bad person. He really does believe in what he stands up for and than an eternal age of fire is the 'correct' thing to do. He is more than capable of compassion, empathy and love. His eye color: I like to think his eyes are golden yellow!I may be biased because most of the fanart shows him this way but I think it really suits him! Not like anyone will see them anyway, because he refuses to be seen by anyone without it. Gwyn, Gwynevere and Yoshka were the only exceptions, since they were his family. Snake bodyparts: The good old question. Where do the human (god,but you get what I mean) parts end and the snakes begin? His legs aren't entirely made of snakes, he has human (or well,god) upper thighs and from there on, the snakes begin For a while I used to wonder if the snakes were like, an extension of Gwyndolin himself and he can fully control them like a bodypart or they actually have mind and personalities of their own. After a bit, I decided to settle on a bit of a middle ground. They do have mind of their own but Gwyndolin can 'mind control' them and bend their will to do his bidding if he so desires. For his whole life, had viewed them as tools more than anything, but when he was left alone in Anor Londo, he couldn't help but feel lonely and start to view them as friends. By nature, the snakes have a sort of bond with him and are willing to serve him Friendship: Gwyndolin really did love his sister Gwynevere a lot, and when she left Anor Londo, he was completely devastated and felt rather empty. Something was missing. Even if he did create an illusion of her to not notify anyone of her dissapearence with a spell, he knew it wasn't real, and it hurt to even look at her. After this, he didn't think he could ever feel affection ever again aside from his snakes and Yorshka. He put up walls in his heart, not wanting to be hurt again. But say...if a blade of the dark moon cared about him a lot and kept talking to him, his heart would melt and he would really start to see them as a friend rather than just a servant. He would be insanely loyal, grateful to have someone who accepts him the way he is. The guy has abandonment issues though, and would be kind of paranoid about them leaving. And if they died?Oh, he would not be able to take the guilt, knowing they died doing their duty as a blade of the darkmoon for him. Even so, he still wouldn't let them see him without his crown. Love: If it's hard for him to consider somebody a friend, just imagine how he must be when he comes to love. Just like with everything else, he is afraid of failure and being abandoned. He'd need to have a very strong friendship bond with anyone before he even starts to see them as something more. He isn't a 'love at first sight' kind of guy at all. It's a slow thing for him. He'll be friends with somebody with years and slowly realize that he is starting to see them in a different light recently...Surprisingly, he doesn't mind being the one to confess and will gather the courage to do so. He isn't a very cuddly partner though, especially at first, as he isn't used to touch and is scared the snakes gently wrapping around his partner's arms or legs while they cuddle will scare them off. He really can't help that. He constantly reminds them how much he loves them and how happy they make him, wanting them to know that despite him not being very touchy. "It's almost as if thou art my destiny...I shall love thee for as long as thou will have me..." Remember how he won't show his eyes even to friends?He may actually do so with his s/o after they have been dating for a while, to prove he really does trust them Also, he gets flustered extremely easily. Interests: He doesn't have that much free time but when he does have it, Gwyndolin likes to read and write poetry. A bit of an obvious one here but he also likes archery and practices not just to improve his skills but for fun as well. Along with spellcasting, it's one of the few things he likes about himself and can be proud of. After Dark souls 1 and before Dark souls 3: Once again, much is left to speculation so we have to go off item descriptions and npcs conversations to try and get stuff together We know Pontiff Sullyvahn poisoned Gwyndolin so he was weak and Aldritch could eat him, allowing Sullyvahn to take over the valley. But what was Gwyndolin doing before that?In my opinion, pretty much the same as in the first game, trying his best to convince people to choose the link the fire. Aside from that, I like he sent his most trusted knights to look for Gwynevere. Even after centuries, he just couldn't let go of his sister. Meanwhile, he did his very best to keep Yorshka happy and be a good brother to her. He didn't want to make the same mistake and watch her, a loved one, leave. Back to his death, I believe his last thoughts were, just like always, for his family. Gwyn would be so disappointed right now wouldn't he?That broke his heart. But...maybe, just maybe he would have changed his mind by now. Gwynevere...was she still even alive?And Yorshka...oh poor Yorshka. He could only hope she would be spared

[swanqueeneverafter]

Sins of the Past Pt.9

Camelot. Present. Morgana's Chambers. (Morgana hurriedly returns to her chambers through a back passageway.) Guinevere: (Calling from outside the door:) "My Lady?" (Morgana looks down at her muddy cloak and tosses it behind her bed just as Guinevere enters.) Guinevere: "I saw the light, wanted to make sure you were alright." Morgana: "I’m fine." Guinevere: "You were missed at the festival today, the people of Camelot are eager to welcome you back." Morgana: "They have already waited ten years, I'm sure they can manage without me for a little while longer." Guinevere: (Smiles:) "Of course. Will you be joining us for dinner in Storybrooke?" Morgana: (Hesitates:) "I think not. After a day re-familiarizing myself with the castle, I'm really quite tired." Guinevere: "I'll leave you to rest then. Would you like-" Morgana: (Steps back:) "Guin, you are queen now. You helping me undress would just be embarrassing for both of us." Guinevere: "I really don't mind, it wouldn't be any trouble." Morgana: (A sharper tone:) "I’ll prepare myself for bed. (Making her tone light again:) Goodnight, Guin." Morgana: "Goodnight, My Lady." (Guinevere leaves.)

Camelot. Past. Forest. (Morgana sneaks out of the castle at night to meet Morgause in the woods.) Morgause: “You look well.” Morgana: “Thanks to you. (Morgana touches the enchanted bracelet Morgause gave her:) I wear it all the time. I can’t remember when I last had a bad dream.” Morgause: “But you do not seem happy. Why is that?” Morgana: “I would be if I didn’t have to pretend.” Morgause: “Pretend?” Morgana: “That I’m Uther’s loving daughter when I hate him.” Morgause: “Have you ever imagined a new world, Morgana? One where Uther was no more?” Morgana: “Sometimes.” Morgause: “And is that what you’d like?” Morgana: “I once had the chance to be his assassin.” Morgause: “And what stopped you?” Morgana: “I don’t know. I believe he cared for me. But not anymore. He cares for no one.” Morgause: “So, you want Uther destroyed and his reign to end?” Morgana: “More than anything. But it doesn’t matter what I want. The future’s not of my making.” Morgause: “You are wrong, Morgana. You underestimate your importance. The decisions you make now will change the shape of everything that is to come.” Morgana: “What do you mean?” Morgause: “Whose side are you on, Morgana? Are you with Uther? Or are you with me? Are you prepared to help me bring about his downfall?” Morgana: “I am.” Morgause: (Reaching out to stroke Morgana’s face:) “I can’t tell you how much it means to hear you say that.” 

Storybrooke. Present. Swan-Mills House. (Tired, sore and covered in mud, Mrs & Mrs Swan-Mills arrive home victorious, carrying their trophy between them.) Regina: "Well, that worked out nicely." Emma: (Closing the front door:) "It did, didn't it?" Regina: "Although technically I still think I won. It was my horse who crossed the finish line first." Emma: "Hey, tell it to the judges, their decision is final." Regina: "Hm." Emma: "You heard them, it was a dead heat. Too close to call! Take the win, Regina. Anyway, I should be the one that's upset. I don't get to see your Lady Godiva moment now." Regina: "No, but I do still want to see you wearing that necklace tonight. So how about a compromise?" Emma: (Gasps in mock surprise:) "You? Mayor Mills, compromise? The hell you say." Regina: "It's Swan-Mills, and yes. Interested?" Emma: "I don't know... it’s a pretty ugly necklace. Your compromise had better be good." Regina: "What if, instead of heading back to the stables, I take off all my clothes right now, jump on your back and ride you around every room of this house?" Emma: (Laughing:) "The image I have in my head right now is so ridiculous. (Tries to control her giggles when seeing the slightly hurt look on Regina's face:) I'm sorry, it's just..." Regina: "Forget I said anything." Emma: (Reaching out and taking her hand:) "Wait. Please wait. (Composing herself:) Now, it's not the craziest idea I've heard." Regina: "Only the funniest, evidently." Emma: "Well, yeah, and I know you meant it to be sexy but, maybe with a couple of tweaks, it could be very, very hot." Regina: (Still annoyed:) "I'm open to suggestions." Emma: (Smiles:) "Okay, well, I have zero problem with the you getting naked part. That part I love. But how about instead of my back, you jump into my arms and, (Waving her hand, Emma envelops herself in a cloud of smoke. When it clears, Emma stands naked but for a few hefty straps at her waist. Smirking as Regina's eyes are immediately drawn to the appendage now bobbing between her legs:) I give you the ride of your life?" Regina: (Still transfixed:) "Well, there's only one thing I can think to say. (Using her own magic to shed her clothes:) Giddy up!" A Short While Later. (Reclined in each others arms in the bath tub, Regina and Emma discuss the night's plans.) Emma: "Do I really have to wear that thing to dinner?" Regina: "Not if we don't go." Emma: "Mom wants us there." Regina: "Then yes, you have to wear it." Emma: "What if she asks why I'm wearing it and not you?" Regina: "You tell her the truth. You lost a bet." Emma: (Smiling up at her:) "If you call this losing, I can't imagine what winning feels like." Regina: "Well don't ask your father, he wouldn't know what winning felt like either." Emma: (Chuckles:) "All right, you asked for this." (With much splashing and screams of delight, Regina and Emma take turns dunking each other under the surface, causing huge waves of water to spill over the edge of the tub and onto the tiled floor below.)

Storybrooke. Main Street. (While the festivities of the day begin to wind down and the crowds slowly disperse, Henry takes a break from driving to stretch his legs. When passing by someone clearly from Wonderland, Henry feels compelled to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone. However, as he's about to dial Ella's number, he stops himself, remembering that there are no cell towers in Wonderland. Looking up from his phone, he spots a familiar face sitting alone on a bench.) Henry: “Drizella?” Drizella: (Sniffles, wiping her eyes:) “Oh. I'm sorry. I don't remember calling a taxi.” Henry: “Funny. You’re here for the festival?” Drizella: (Nods:) “If I had known it was going to be a celebration of the Charmings and the Swan-Mills’ I might not have bothered.” Henry: “Try living with them.” Drizella: “Ooh, trouble in paradise?” Henry: (Taking a seat beside her:) “Alright, that was a little unfair, but sometimes it can get a little annoying - living in their shadow I mean.” Drizella: “Tell me about it. At least you weren’t overshadowed by your sister all your life. (Thinks:) Oh wait, don’t you have a little sister now?” Henry: “I think you know I do. Judging by the amount of gifts my moms received, I doubt there’s one person in all the united realms who doesn’t know about my sister.” Drizella: “And so it begins.” Henry: “It’s not like that at all. I love Maria and I’m thrilled to be a big brother.” Drizella: “Just give it time.” Henry: (Shaking his head:) “Speaking of which, where’s your sister, Anastasia?” Drizella: "Oh, probably off somewhere moping. Torturing herself over her past as the Red Queen. I mean, it's not like it happened recently, it was for a very brief period thirty years ago. I wish she’d just get over it already." Henry: "Well to be fair to Anastasia, it was very recent to her mind." Drizella: "Oh please, not the resurrection again. You know people always talk about that but they never seem to remember that I was encased in stone for roughly the same amount of time." Henry: "That had to be a hard time for you." Drizella: (Smiles, despite herself:) "Ha. Ha. (Sighs:) Look at us, sat in the middle of a festival throwing our own little pity party." Henry: "Yeah, Ella would've loved this." Drizella: "Is that your little dream girl?" Henry: "She came from the Dream Realm, yes." Drizella: "So where is she now?" Henry: "Searching for her mother." Drizella: (Scoffs:) "If she's also looking for her mother's approval, she'll be gone a long time. Trust me, I speak from experience." Henry: "Well the good thing is you haven't let it effect you. I mean it's not like you released an ancient immortal creature and a dust cloud filled with hate over the land just to prove yourself to your dead mother." Drizella: (Pursing her lips:) "Exactly." Henry: "Cause that would've been crazy." Drizella: "This from the son of the woman who conjured the Dark Curse?" Henry: "Touche. At least you're not the only one on this bench with baggage." Drizella: "Okay, then. So, how do we get rid of it. The baggage." Henry: "Take a chance? Do the scary thing? Hope it all works out." Drizella: "Is that what you call what you’re doing with Ella? The 'scary thing'?" Henry: "I don't know. I'm just figuring it out, same as you." Drizella: "Well, I for one need a drink." Henry: "Good idea." Drizella: "So, come on." Henry: "What?" Drizella: (Squints:) "You are legally allowed to drink now, aren't you?" Henry: "Yeah." Drizella: "Well, let's go!" (Hesitating for a moment, Henry looks down at his phone, then puts it in his pocket. Standing, he and Drizella walk together in search of the nearest bar. From a short distance away, Tiana watches them leave, with a troubled look upon her face.) Wonderland. Night. Will and Ella’s Campsite. (Will lays on the floor with his arms crossed attempting to sleep while Ella stands, turning the necklace over and over in her hand.) Will: “Please go to sleep.” Ella: “I can't. You sleep.” Will: “How can I sleep if you insist on thinking so loudly?” Ella: “What you said before... maybe you were right. Maybe she's moved on.”

Will: (Sitting up:) “I'm sorry, Ella. I put that terrible idea in your head. Don't listen to me, I don't know nothing about it. Do you believe that she truly loves you?” Ella: “I did.” Will: “Well, that's good then. Because when somebody truly loves you, they can never move on. It’s like you said, you don’t need any proof.” Ella: “That’s true, but it's still nice to have.” Will: (Sighs:) “As much as I’m going to regret this, as your guide on this little journey, it is my duty to help you in any way I can. So, if you want proof, proof you shall have.” Ella: “What are you talking about?” Will: “I’m talking about finding a way to prove your mother is still out there somewhere.” Ella: “And how do you propose we do that?” Will: “That’s for me to know and you to find out. Tomorrow. After a good solid night’s sleep. Deal?” Ella: (Smiling:) “Deal.” Forest of Balor. Caves. (Mulan and Ruby walk through the caves carrying torches.) Ruby: "There they are." (The flowers they seek are across a large gap with a narrow ledge and long drop. Mulan looks down.) Mulan: "Keep back from the edge. Don’t worry. We’ll be out of here soon.” (Walking carefully over the ledge, Mulan heads toward the Mortaeus flower growing on the cave wall. The cave begins to rumble, but seemingly nothing comes of it. Reaching the flower, Mulan grabs it and puts it in a pouch on her belt, then makes her way back to Ruby.) Ruby: “Well that was easy.” Mulan: “A little too easy.” Lord Macintosh: “You’re right. (Ruby and Mulan turn to face him:) I’m afraid I can’t allow you to leave here with that.” Mulan: “Macintosh. So it was you who poisoned the goblet!” Lord Macintosh: “I don’t know what you mean, Lassie. All I know is with Merida gone, that makes me the rightful ruler of all Dun Broch.” Mulan: “Over my dead body.” Lord Macintosh: “Aye, I thought you might say something like that.” (Turning, Macintosh motions towards the darkness where several of his men emerge. Mulan draws her sword.) Ruby: “Mulan, no. We don’t have time for this.” Mulan: “I don’t think they’re going to give us much choice.” Lord Macintosh: “Surrender the flower and no harm will come to you.” Mulan: “So I give up the flower and you’ll let us go?” Lord Macintosh: “As the new King of Dun Broch, I give you my word.” Mulan: “You aren’t King yet. Quick, Ruby, hand me your cloak.” Ruby: “What?” Mulan: “You’re right, we don’t have much time. (As Ruby removes her cloak, Mulan places the flower carefully inside:) I need you to transform.” Ruby: (Realising the plan:) “Oh no, I’m not leaving you.” Mulan: (Folding the cloak:) “You have to. You have to get the flower back to Storybrooke before it’s too late. (Reluctantly, Ruby does as she’s told and transforms into the wolf. Macintosh and his men recoil at the sight. Placing Ruby’s cloak into the wolf’s mouth:) Take it and go!” (With a low growl, the wolf paws at the ground and leaps toward Macintosh’s men. Desperately clinging to the walls to get out of the wolf’s path, Macintosh looks on helplessly as it runs from the cave and out of sight.)

Storybrooke. The Dragon's Lair. (Sitting down to dinner, Emma looks around the restaurant, clearly agitated.) Emma: "Great, now everyone's staring." Regina: "Well who could blame them? I often find myself staring at my beautiful wife." Emma: "They're starting at this ridiculous thing around my neck! (Regina promptly hides her face behind her menu. Narrowing her eyes:) You know if I had won, there's no way I would’ve had you embarrass yourself in public." Regina: (Lowering her menu:) "Do you think I'd have anything to be embarrassed about if you did?" (Knowing she's been out maneuvered, Emma quickly changes the subject.) Emma: (Picking up her own menu:) "There's just so much good stuff to choose from. (Still feeling Regina's eyes on her, Emma looks around for a distraction. As Maleficent walks by their table:) Mal, what would you recommend?" Maleficent: (Without missing a beat:) "A stylist." (At this, Regina bursts out laughing while Emma glares at Maleficent's back.) Emma: (As Regina continues to laugh:) "Oh, shut up. (Looking over Regina's shoulder:) Wait a minute. Is that Henry?" Regina: (Turns in her seat:) "Yes it is." Emma: "Who's that he's with?" Henry's Table. (Drizella returns to the table with a bottle.) Henry: "What's this?" Drizella: "Something better than the cheap antifreeze you're used to drinking." Regina & Emma's Table. (Emma's eyes widen in recognition.) Emma: "Drizella? What the hell's going on?" (Regina puts a hand on Emma's arm to stop her making a scene.) Regina: "Calm down, we don't know what the situation is." Emma: "The situation is that Henry let Ella go to Wonderland alone so he could go on a date with Drizella!" Regina: "Would you keep your voice down! I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks." Emma: “Since when did you start giving people the benefit of the doubt?” Regina: "Since you did the same for me all those years ago. Need I remind you that's our son you're accusing? Now sit down and let me handle this." Emma: (When Regina returns to her menu:) "Well?!" Regina: "I'll go over there after we've ordered. I seem to have worked up quite the appetite." Emma: (Looking over Regina's shoulder again:) "Yeah well if you don't get over there soon, I'm going to lose mine." Regina: (Under her breath:) "And your mind." Emma: "What?" Regina: (Smiling sweetly:) "Nothing."

Camelot. Past. Council Chamber. (Uther dines as Morgana enters with tear stained cheeks.) Morgana: "I have come to apologise, My Lord. You have been generous and kind and fair. And I owe you everything. I truly don’t know what came over me." (Uther stands and rushes to meet Morgana. He embraces her with tears of joy.) Uther: "I am so glad you’ve seen sense. Come, dine with me. Let’s put this unfortunate incident behind us." Morgana: "No, no. I am on my way to the chapel, to pray forgiveness for my sins." Uther: "Of course." Morgana: (She wipes his tears away with a handkerchief:) "I don’t know why you put up with me. But I promise, in the future I will show you the love and respect that you deserve." (Morgana walks away, smirking.) Forest. Night. (Morgana leaves the castle and rides to a cave guarded by the Bloodguard.) Morgause: “My sister. How have you fared?” Morgana: “Uther has welcomed back his daughter with open arms.” Morgause: “Uther does not suspect?” Morgana: “He laps up my lies like the snivelling dog that he is. He believes I’ve changed. And he’s right. Soon he will see exactly how much.” Morgause: “You’ve done well. The tears of Uther Pendragon have only begun to fall.” (Morgause drops the handkerchief with Uther’s tears into a giant cauldron filled with boiling liquid and adds a large root. The root screams and Morgana flinches:) The mandrake root is very special. Only those with magic can hear its cries. But for those without magic, the mandrake pierces the very recesses of the soul, twisting the unconscious into the very image of fear and dread. Uther Pendragon will find that his great kingdom counts for nothing, when he has lost his mind. (She begins an incantation:) Mid þæm wundorcræft þæs ealdan æwþ ic þe hate nime Utheres wopdropan ond þa gemengan mid his blod. Sy he under wittig ond deofol seocnes his heorte afylþ.” (Morgause’s eye glow. She pulls out the muddy root and hands it to Morgana.)

Storybrooke. Present. The Dragon's Lair. (Guinevere sits alone at the bar deep in thought when Snow White joins her.) Snow White: "Guinevere. You look troubled." Guinevere: (Smiles weakly:) "Just thinking about Morgana." Snow White: "Where is she? I thought we might see her today?" Guinevere: (Shakes her head:) "She didn't feel up to it. And I can hardly blame her, after all she's been through." Snow White: "Has she managed to tell you where she's been all these years?" Guinevere: "No, but I can only imagine the horrors she's seen." Henry & Drizella's Table. (Drizella pours Henry another drink.) Drizella: "Thanks for listening to me earlier, no one ever does that." Henry: "No problem. I know finding where you belong in this world can be hard." Drizella: "So what happened with you and Ella? Why didn't you go with her? Couldn't take a chance and do the scary thing after all, huh?" Henry: "It's complicated." Drizella: "Hm. (Picks up her glass:) Well, to keeping things uncomplicated." (They clink glasses. Having seen enough, Regina is about to break things up when there is a commotion outside.) Main Street. (David and Emma exit the restaurant first to find people running for their lives. Heading towards the source of the chaos they find a wolf growling and charging at the doors to the library.) David: (Noticing the familiar cloak laying in the moonlight:) "It's Ruby!" (Picking up the cloak, David moves carefully over to the animal and drapes the cloak over it. Transforming almost instantly, Ruby lifts her hood and grabs hold of David.) Ruby: "You have to help me, they've got Mulan!" (Emma and David look to each other in surprise while a crowd begins to gather around them.)

[echo-bleu]

Well, not to surprise you by my choice, or anything, but I'd like to get some (good) news about Power Through. :)

I am not surprised by your choice at all, though I’m afraid I don’t have much good news for you :/ I will say this: I don’t want to abandon it. I really don’t. But you know me, and you’ll remember me saying that about The Underground a hundred times so... who knows? I’m going to try, at least.

Now for a snippet I haven’t already posted... Here’s some bittersweet Alex&Liz from chapter 7:

Liz is sitting at the bar, nursing a mug of coffee. She has bags under her eyes, and her hoodie is too big for her. There are lines on her face Alex doesn’t remember – and why would he, when they haven’t seen each other since high school? It still tugs at his stomach uncomfortably, as he catalogs the changes.

He hoists himself up onto the stool beside hers, ignoring the way her gaze drops down to the knotted leg of his pants. “Hey,” he greets her with a smile that is only a little forced.

“Hey, stranger,” Liz smiles back, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, either.

Alex looks away from her face and up at the cork board she was just staring at. It’s full of photographs and mementos, and he takes a moment to really look at them. It’s a memorial, he figures out, when he sees several pictures of Rosa with Isobel, with Maria and various other people. The knot in his gut tightens.

“I didn’t know about Rosa,” he murmurs.

There’s no I’m sorry or My condolences between them. Once, Rosa was almost as much a sister to Alex as she was to Liz, before the Air Force, before 7/15, before they were hunted and back when they were just outcasts. He cared about her more than he ever cared about any of his brothers.

“I’d never even come here before,” Liz says slowly. “But it’s like there’s a hole in the shape of her. She loved this place. When she died, I hated them for that, for letting her risk everything for this,” she opens her arms to encompass the room.

The loss isn’t fresh for her, though. There’s a shadow in her eyes, but also a kind of resignation, the kind that can only be reached by years of grieving. “I miss her,” she adds.

Alex’s eyes burn. “I’ve thought about you two so many times,” he chokes out. He did. His friends’ faces – and their secrets – accompanied him to the Afghan desert and back, to the streets of Albuquerque and Austin and Atlanta, to the inside of a four-by-four cell. They’ve been on his mind even more in the last few months, since the first time he ended up in the prison infirmary and stumbled upon Kyle Valenti.

[queerchoicesblog]

The Florentine Lady

Folks, the wlw story set in the Italian Renaissance suggested by @scottishqueer for the wlw writing project continues. Time to introduce the mysterious Florentine lady, wife of a brilliant architect.

If you do happen to like this miniseries, please consider spreading the word!

Previous chapter: After The Storm

Previous series: Ancient Greece

_____________________________

A few days later, I pay a visit to my most wondrous tailor and commission him a series of accessories for both my costume and Riccardo's: we have to be impeccable! He winks at me and assures me he will do everything within his power to turn them into wonders that will catch the eye of the Duke himself. I love masquerade balls so much and I count the hours until when I will finally put my Flora costume on.

I'm smiling on my way back to the castle for my card match with my dear mother-in-law. I'm basking in my carefree happiness and in the gorgeous sun shining bright today that it takes me a moment to notice a blonde figure admiring the castle from the edge of the bridge. She doesn't take a step in? Is she scared off by the guards? What a missed chance!

"You chose the best angle to admire the Duke's castle, ma'am" I say as I approach, hoping to give her the little push she needs.

Oh, I startle her, poor thing! She looks behind her and notices me. I smile at her and she turns back towards the castle.

"So this is the best angle..."

To my surprise, she sounds skeptical. What she says next irritates me even more.

"Is this all your castle has to offer?"

A sudden realisation hits me. I laugh. But of course!

"Ah, you must be the new Florentine lady"

She turns back towards me as if I stang her with a needle.

"My fame precedes me, I see"

"Indeed it does, milady" I confirm, mocking a curtesy.

She rolls her eyes and laughs bitterly.

"It doesn't sound like good news by the way you talk to me"

"Well, it's surprisingly easy for ladies with an attitude to get a reputation" I observe with pretended nonchalance.

"Do you think I have an attitude?" she asks and she looks genuinely confused, only slightly annoyed by the implication.

"You? And who would ever say that? You've just arrived, we'll have to wait and see. Fare ye well, fair lady of Florence" I answer, walking past her to enter the castle, my home.

I'm pretty proud of my witticism: I put her in her place, I'm quite sure of that. God knows, maybe for once Maria is right: the new lady is no fun. And no fun is not the right attitude to have in Ferrara.

The day after I entertain my friends with my accidental encounter with the Florentine and we laugh of it. She certainly has guts: we're not Rome the Great nor her Florence but our Duchy is the peak of modernity. She should know: isn't her husband working with Biagio Rossetti, the genius moulding our lively city into something new, unprecedented? The most talented artists decorate our palaces and our gatherings are blessed with the finest music. We're second to no one. Not even Florence, superb arrogant Florence.

But it's getting late, time to attend the evening mass. As we head to the Cathedral, I spot Riccardo standing in the main square. I wave at him and beckon him to join us. He obliges after pressing a kiss on my lips. On our way back to the castle, we walk arm in arm a few steps ahead of my friends. He confides me that when I saw him, he had just taken his leave from the architect and his wife.

"A remarkable man, if you ask him: I'm glad Duke Alfonso didn't turn a merchant's ear to Biagio's request and invited him to join the enterprise. He's a true artist, a man already thinking in future terms, so to speak. Excellent addition to our court"

"And what about her?" I inquiry. "What do you think of the lady?"

"His wife?" he says, furrowing his brows before shrugging. "She doesn't talk much but she seems a fine lady"

"If you say so..." I giggle as we set foot on the castle's bridge.

I couldn't possibly foresee that a few days later he would ask me to show the Florentine around. The city, the churches...or invite her to join the sewing circle or "whatever gathering you women do". My first question is "why?", the second "why me?". But he's already heading to his meeting with the Duke. He just says something about being a good neighbour and introducing her to court. Before I can protest, he's out of the door.

I sigh in resignation. The idea of spending time with the architect's wife is the opposite of thrilling but I know my husband. He's as stubborn as a mule: if I refuse, he will keep asking until I eventually surrender out of exasperation. So, I grab a quibble and write a note.

The next day she's waiting for me in the garden. She picked a crimson dress that certainly was in vague in Florence but not here. It suits her, though. I put on my best practised smile and greet here. We chat a little but soon an uncomfortable silence falls so I suggest we go on our walk, lady...

"Your friends didn't even tell you my name? Nor your husband?" she asks, amused and bitter.

I'm forced to recognise that this is exactly what happened. I refrain from admitting it though.

"I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I forgot it but they must have surely-" I start but she cuts me short.

"No reason in lying to me. I just thought..." she sighs in defeat. "I just thought they did"

Then she looks at me.

"It's Cristina. My name's Cristina"

I refrain from saying it's a lovely name, fearing she would take my words as forced kindness.

"Emilia" I only say, smiling apologetically and offering her my hand to shake.

I suddenly feel uncomfortable: it's not going well and we haven't even started our walk. Thank God, the feeling eases as we wander through the streets of Ferrara. I share stories and facts, even if I'm sure Riccardo would have been a better guide. I ask her about her parentage: she tells me her mother is French, from Alsace. She's never been to France but she can speak the language properly. She has two sisters and a two brother, the oldest one lives in Spain.

"He's a diplomat, just like your husband" she explains.

As we talk, we reach the area where her husband works: I ask her if she would like to have a look even if there's still little to see. The new boulevards are shaping though. She agrees and I start a passionate speech about the exciting times we live in.

"Do you ever feel lucky to live in a time like now? I do. I mean, look at this city, at these streets: they're changing and we can't yet foresee the final result but you can tell a new...world is rising. It's here, underneath the surface and enterprises like the Addizione are bringing it to life. Enough with those narrow filthy alleys, let's have light and space and fresh air instead. Let's expand the borders of our gaze. Your husband is lucky to work firsthand in this enterprise" I note with proud excitement.

She keeps quiet though, so I continue. I don't get why she doesn't sound thrilled too.

"Even our world is broadening. You were speaking of France, Spain...what about the West Indies? Oh, lucky those who can set sails towards them! We hosted an explorer at court once, he brought back the most curious objects and even a bird with extravagant colours! He shared stories of those lands, he said it's like a terrestrial Eden, can you believe that?"

I sigh contently.

"It's exciting how so many things are changing all at once..."

"And we don't get to take part to any of it"

Her voice is somber just like the look on her face.

"Well, we can always enjoy the view and breathe in these winds of change. I'll tell you what? We'll take a walk down these new boulevards when they're done and we'll keep walking until we reach the fields outside the city. We'll pick flowers and make flower jewels out of them! God, I hope I still remember how, I haven't braided flower crowns since I was a child" I suggest, hoping my enthusiasm may be infectious.

"Sure, we can...watch all of it from afar"

Alas, it's not. Cristina doesn't look comforted nor cheered up by my words. She wanders forward and rests her hand on a raw stone at the top of a pile. The builders are working down the road and left them here. Her slender fingers gently grazed the stone as if it was a dear friend. When she speaks again, her voice is filled with such melancholy my chest tightens.

"I envy my husband, you know. There are days he hates his job but he doesn't understand how lucky he is. He has a purpose and a place in the world, this fascinating, changing world, as you say. He sits at his desk and knows he will leave a mark, his signature in the world to come. He touches this stone and knows it will be positioned right there, near that tree. He will be an actor of this modernity not a...paying spectator sitting quietly in the dark of a theatre"

She takes a pause before adding grimly:

"I have no purpose nor a place in the world. My days are empty, filled by mindless occupations that are supposed to make the passage of time more bearable. But I feel so lonely and worthless. When I die, I will walk away from this world like a...shadow. Nothing more. A shadow vanishing into the void"

"Oh, Cristina, what are you saying? What brought such sad thoughts on?" I smile weakly, walking closer.

She turns towards me and searches my eyes. I don't know what she hopes to find on my face.

"Don't you envy your husband, Emilia? He's among the advisors of the Duke, he guides him into taking decisions that shape the future of the city and the whole Duchy. He's a diplomat, he's in touch with the most prominent members of society all over the world, royalties, the Pope, nobles...he can influence history. Don't you envy him?"

I take her hands into mine and give them a squeeze.

"You are not lonely. Not as you think...I-I can be your friend. We started off on the wrong foot but let's leave it behind us, huh? It's never too late to start a friendship"

I give her an encouraging smile as she ponders my words. Then she winces, slowly retrieving her hands.

"But you don't understand me"

We walk back to the castle in complete silence. When we arrive there, I offer to have someone escorting her to her place but she shakes her head and refuses. She thanks me for showing her around and walks away before I can formulate an answer. Soon she disappears into the crowd gathering around the market nearby. I shake my head too and walk inside, but her melancholy affected me.

[chiefnooniensingh]

I Won’t Hesitate (for you) Chapter 12

Chapter 12: What is lost will be found (when the truth hunts you down)

In this chapter: The truth.

A/n:  Oh my god guys. Here we are. I'm so nervous about this chapter because I am equally excited and nervous about your reaction to it! After this, there's only an epilogue left. Enjoy, and please let me know what you thought of it!

As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter, @ladymajavader and May (@merlinss) over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading. I don't know if I would've finished it without you guys!

@hmd23 guessed it, last week's chapter title was from Third Eye Blind again. Congratulations!

Can anyone guess this week's?

Also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

January, 1934

Liz Ortecho, now 23 and wise beyond her years, entered the little cabin she had rented, a newspaper clutched in her hand. They were living just outside of New York, trailing a ghost that refused to be found.

They’d travelled all across the country; starting from New Mexico, they went to San Diego, Sacramento and Seattle, travelling north past the Canadian border, even going so far as Calgary, before returning to the States to follow even the smallest hints of Rosa’s killed.

Five years they’d searched. Five years of barely any food, finding work wherever they could, and constant disappointment. They’d built up a steady network of informants, through a mix of bribery, good Samaritanism and flirting, but apparently Rosa’s murderer instilled fear in the hearts of men. Not many were willing to sell him out. Those who were, quickly dropped off the radar after that.

Liz knew she was being watched. She’d seen the shadows in the corner of her eye, the unremarkable cars in her rear-view mirror. She knew, if she ever got truly close, she’d probably end up dead. But she was determined and so were her travel companions. Rosa’s killer needed to be unmasked, taken off the board, or he’d kill again.

“I have news and you’re not going to like it!” Liz announced as she entered the tiny living room. The other two women immediately joined her at the table. Liz smacked down the paper, pointing at a small article, accompanied by a picture.

The immigrant man Sheriff Valenti had had to let go because of lack of proof. Looking fancy and happy, standing next to an absolutely gorgeous blonde young woman. “That’s him,” her friend said, her voice shaking, “that’s Rosa’s killer.”

“I’m pretty sure, too, yes. Sheriff Valenti was never able to get any proof, but…he’s the only suspect we have. Either we cross him off the list or we get the bastard. Either way, we need to find him.” Liz looked at the picture, her face hardening. “And he just made it extremely easy.”

The headline read:  Oil Mogul Noah Bracken (33) and noted event planner Isobel Evans (25) tie the knot in Malibu.

Liz looked up at her companions, who looked back with the same determination on their face. “Alright, call everybody. Michael, Kyle, my dad…” She felt her lips pull into a sardonic smile. “We’re going to plan a murder.”

Maria and Mimi DeLuca nodded, heading off to pack up their stuff and call the cavalry. Maria had grown up with Rosa, had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. Mimi had taken care of Rosa, and Liz when she came along, for years. When news reached them of Rosa’s disappearance, Mimi had wanted to return immediately. Mr DeLuca’s illness prevented that. When Michael called another few weeks later to tell them Rosa’s body had been found, just days after Mr DeLuca’s own passing…something broke in Mrs DeLuca, and she was never the same again.

Both were extremely determined to hunt down and kill the monster who killed that little girl.

Present day, 22nd of October, 9PM

Alex was standing in front of the passengers that had occupied so much of his mind for the past three days. He looked over all of them, and he wondered why he hadn’t seen it before, why he’d missed all the little things that could’ve tipped him off. He wondered if he was getting rusty.

They were all sitting in the dining carriage, their chairs moved to face Alex, who was standing with his back to door. He had always been able to command a room with just his silence, and now, too, people were waiting for him to speak.

“Thank you for coming,” Alex began, his eyes locking with each of them in turn. Isobel Evans, Max Evans, Beth and Arthur Otto, Kyle Vale, Maria and Mimi DeLuca and…Michael Guerin. All of them liars. All of them trying to hide themselves from him. But the jig was up, the curtain had fallen, and Alex could see clearly now. He continued. “I have a decision to make. I need to decide what to tell the police when we arrive in Paris tomorrow. And I was hoping you all could help me.” He saw the surprise on Michael’s face, and most of them exchanged worried and confused looks.

“We all know there was a murder here on this train. I have been working relentlessly to find out who did it, and after three days of hard searching I have narrowed it down to two theories. I will lay out these two theories before you now.”

Several people shifted in their seats, others smoothed down their clothes. Alex couldn’t help a small, half-smile that played around his lips. “My first theory is as follows. In 1920, Noah Bracken kidnapped and killed Rosa Ortecho in revenge over a workplace dispute with her father, Arturo Ortecho.” Alex let his gaze fall on Mr Otto, who blushed and lowered his eyes. “Rosa was loved by many, and her death instilled a rage in the hearts of those who loved her, none more than in the heart of her sister, Liz Ortecho.” His eyes moved over to Beth, whose eyes were already filled with tears. “So, presumably when she turns 18, Liz sets out to find her sister’s murderer, aided by her sister’s best friend Maria, and the latter’s mother and the Ortechos’ former house maid Mimi DeLuca.” Beth, Maria and Mimi all looked at each other uneasily. “Somehow they find out who Rosa’s killer is. Maybe they saw him on a train. Maybe they read about him in a newspaper. It doesn’t really matter how; they find him anyway. So they bring in the cavalry; Rosa’s father, still grieving for his eldest daughter; Kyle Valenti – ” Kyle shifted in his seat but kept his eyes steadily on Alex, though Alex could see the tears forming in them. “ – the son of the Sheriff who tried to find Rosa’s killer and failed, killing himself with shame of it – ”

Alex took a deep breath and turned his eyes on Michael, who looked at him with clear eyes and an expression of love and acceptance on his face. “ – and finally, Michael Guerin, the boy who took care of the Ortecho sisters when he couldn’t take care of himself. Six people, who all loved and adored Rosa, who all wanted to see justice for her death, a justice the system would never give them.”

“Rosa was the brightest star on this planet,” Liz burst out, tears falling freely down her face now. “She was happy when things got tough, when dad had to work long hours, when mom died. She loved and laughed and lived and that monster took her away from this world.”

Alex merely acknowledged this outbreak with a simple bow of his head, then continued. “So they devise a plan. A plan that would bring them justice for Rosa, that would – if carried out properly – help them get away with murder. It soon becomes clear they can’t get close to him. Noah Bracken has transformed himself from illegal immigrant to an oil mogul; rich, powerful and, in almost every sense of the word, untouchable. So they approach his wife. Isobel Bracken, née Evans, who may have already figured out who her husband really is…”

“He had a box,” Isobel whispered, her voice hoarse, her eyes hard and filled with disgust. “A box filled with newspaper clippings and writing. He boasted about killing that poor girl. Kept track of what the police knew. Disappeared when he needed to. I had unknowingly married a monster.” Max put a hand on hers, and she trailed off again.

Alex continued again, as if he had never been interrupted. “Isobel, having figured out who her husband really is, realizes nobody will believe her. Noah Bracken is rich and powerful, surely he would never harm a child? So when Rosa Ortecho’s loved ones show up with half a plan, she knows the only way out is through; she has to kill her husband. She knows someone in the police department of Roswell, someone with access and credibility and skills. Her own brother Max. This is also presumably how the two siblings find their long, lost brother; by planning a murder.”

“I couldn’t believe it when we suddenly were face to face,” Max muttered, glancing towards his brother. “After searching for so long, to find him in the middle of this awful tragedy.”

“So now the group is 8, and they need a plan. A plan that can help them get away with murder. A plan so intricate that even the most brilliant minds would have a hard time finding the truth.”

“Such modesty,” Michael muttered with a small smile, and despite everything, the group chuckled.

Alex smiled, too, but continued. “And then, a window of opportunity. Noah Bracken has a meeting in Istanbul with other big oil companies, and Isobel manages to convince him that they should make this a little holiday. Fly to Istanbul, spend a few days there, and taking the scenic route back; the Orient Express. A little…second honeymoon, as it were. What reason would Noah Bracken have to doubt his loving wife? She’s an exceptional actress and has not once slipped up in her façade of loving him, though she has known, at that point, for a long time. So, they come together to plan the perfect murder.”

Alex started pacing slowly up and down the dining carriage, his leg already twinging, but biting through the pain, nonetheless. He needed to get through it, he needed to know their reactions to his theory. “Isobel has her own income from her business, so she buys out an entire car on the Orient Express, two for her and her husband, and 6 for the remaining group. Michael gets a job at the Compagnie, getting himself stationed aboard the Istanbul-Paris line. There needs to be a minimum appearance of foul play. Coincidences is where they hope to confuse and befuddle anyone who tries to look closer. Simply coincidence that Isobel’s brother is on the train. Simply coincidence that the Ortechos’ house maid and her daughter are on board. Coincidences hide facts more completely than people think. This group of avengers realize this.” Alex looked at all of them in turn. Liz was still silently crying, with her head on her father’s shoulder, who in his turn looked stricken, almost sick. Mimi and Maria were sitting straight-backed, staring right at him, almost challenging him to continue. Kyle stared at his hands. Michael merely looked at Alex, an expression of pure wonder and awe on his face.

It almost made Alex falter.

“They needed a weapon that would also be a coincidence. The knife Michael always carried with him, because it reminded him of his first great love.” They locked eyes and for the first time, a single tear escaped Michael’s eyes. Alex’s heart ached. “And so they plan, first finding the perfect time to commit the murder. Kyle has medical training, and he knows that cold decreases body temperature faster than usual. So the time of death needs to be when the train passes through the coldest regions; the Alps. The decreased body temperature will not only throw off the time of death to a time that coincides with a brief stop and will provide alibis for them all. For who is awake at 3 the morning? Isobel starts taking sleep medication, weeks, maybe even months in advance, complaining of insomnia to her doctor who is fooled – again, she is a terrific actress – so that she cannot be the murderer; she was asleep, heavily medicated, so how could she possibly have killed her husband?”

Alex stopped for a moment to prop himself up on a table, unable to take the twinge in his leg any longer. “And so, on the morning of the 19th of October, 6 seemingly random people board the Orient Express, pretending not to know each other, knowing they are stepping into a closed environment with a murderer. In the evening, either Isobel or Michael put a sedative in Noah Bracken’s evening tea.”

“I did that,” Isobel said, her voice strong. She looked hardened and sure of herself, a stark comparison to the shocked and traumatized girl Alex had seen that first morning. “Michael brought the tea, but I put the Barbital in his drink. I knew if he woke up at any point, he would be able to fight back and win. He was a terrifying man, Mr Manes.”

Alex inclined his head. “At 4AM that night, everybody sneaks towards the Brackens’ cabin. Every one of these people has a reason to want Noah Bracken dead. So instead of just one person committing this murder, the knife Michael brought exchanges hands. This has the added benefit of thoroughly confusing any coroner examining the body, because not one of the stab wounds has the same depth and patterns. So every single one of the hurt and grieving people takes a stab at Noah Bracken’s chest, ending his life like he ended Rosa’s, justice finally done, Rosa’s spirit finally at peace.” Alex took a breath, examining the faces of the people in front of him. Liz and Arturo were quietly sobbing, Max holding Liz’s hand tightly. Michael’s face was wet as well, but a small smile played around his lips, too. Kyle was white as a sheet, his face taut with emotion. Maria and Mimi were holding each other’s hands tightly, their knuckles turning white. Isobel just stared at Alex, an open challenge. Alex let them all absorb the information he had laid out so far.

After a minute or two, he cleared his throat. “Now there was one thing none of them counted on. Passenger number nine. The unknown variable. I believe they tried to fill it with someone they trusted, a Miss Cameron. But she never showed up, so the cabin was given to a man who had already tried to get a ticket to Paris, but failed. Me. When the group realized a renowned private detective had somehow gotten aboard the train and straight into their meticulously planned out murder, I believe they panicked. Maybe they tried to blow the whole plan off, to try again at a later date. But they knew this was their one shot. So they went through with the plan. I think Michael was supposed to be my distraction, an actual coincidence that we had known each other in a previous life. He’d always been rather good at that, and maybe he was supposed to be that again. And it worked. For a while.”

“In the end, it was you who distracted me,” Michael said, with a shrug. “Long enough to understand that you are more important to me than anything in this world.”

Alex’s heart twisted in the best way, but he ignored it and continued on. “The group tried everything to throw sand in my face. The fake identification papers were a stroke of brilliance. The broken timeclock. Even stabbing Liz. I presume that was your doing, doctor Valenti.” Kyle inclined his head. “I still don’t understand the placement of the half-burned newspaper clipping, though – ”

“ – that was Noah’s doing,” Isobel interrupted, shrugging. “When he realized you were on board, he burned all his memorabilia he always carried with him, so you couldn’t inadvertently catch him. You scared him, Mr Manes. And my husband didn’t scare easy.” She gave him an impressed smile.

Alex inclined his head towards her slightly. “In the end, I realized I should’ve seen it before. Should’ve realized who each and every one of you was. I think Michael’s distraction worked beautifully. If only it had worked a little longer.” He let a silence fall, the group digesting Alex’s words slowly. Michael reached over and squeezed Alex’s hand. Alex squeezed back.

The silence stretched between them all, as each tried to compose themselves. After a few minutes, when even Kyle had lifted his head to look Alex in the eye again, Alex pushed himself off the table and went back to the middle of the room, facing all of them. “It’s the most plausible theory I have, it is true. But it is not bulletproof. While I have uncovered every identity, I have not a single shred of proof.”

“You said you had another theory?” Michael said, sharpest of them all, the love of his life, and Alex smiled.

“I do. After I lay out this theory, each and every one of us is going to have to make a choice. A choice that we will have to live with, one way or another.”

“Share it with us, Alex,’ Liz said, wiping her nose on her sleeve and looking up at him, trust in her eyes. She trusted him still, after all this.

Alex inclined his head. “Noah Bracken was murdered at 3AM when we were stopped in Vinkovci. An unknown assassin slipped on board this train while the conductor was making his scheduled telephone call, killed Noah Bracken in his sleep and locked the door to incriminate his sleeping wife. Then he slipped out through the window, which he left open, and disappeared into the night.”

A stunned silence fell in the dining carriage. Everyone was staring at Alex, then at each other and then back at Alex. Alex knew it was the simplest theory of all the ones he’d run through his head, and the one that had the least chance of ever being proven wrong. “Are you…are you serious?” Isobel said, leaning forward and staring up at Alex. “That’s…that’s your other theory? After you spend 20 minutes explaining your first one?”

“The simplest theories are often the truest, Ms Evans,” Alex said with a small smile that made Michael chuckle. “Every investigator knows this.”

“But in this case…” Liz started, but Alex held up a hand.

“In this case, I am faced with a choice. A choice of what I will tell the French police that will be waiting for me in Paris. If I choose option 1, you will all go to trial for murder. You may get off, since the theory I have is merely a theory. But your lives as you know it will be over. I will have to live with putting the man I love and good people to whom bad things have happened, behind bars.” Alex swallowed thickly. “If I choose option 2, you all walk away from this, and we will all have to live the rest of our lives knowing the truth. You will have to live with blood on your hands. And I will have to live with letting murderers walk free.”

Alex put his hands in his pockets as he looked at all of them. They were all looking at him, scared, afraid of his judgement, of his choice. But Alex shook his head. “I cannot make this decision alone. This is going to affect all of us. So we are all going to make a choice. And whatever we decide, that decision will haunt us for the rest of our lives.”

A stunned silence followed that. Alex looked at them all in turn, ending on Michael’s face which was filled with love and hurt and fear, mixed with just a tiny hint of pride.

“So,” Alex said, “what’s it going to be?”

[el-gilliath]

Cold War (aka the first time Michael gets hurt)

This series is also on Ao3 if anyone prefers to read it there.

Still dedicated to @lsobelevans, my partner in vigilante crime, who makes me gisets (!!!!!) who listens to me whine about Kyle who was NOT supposed to be part of this yet, and who encourages me every day to write more of this.

This part will have a direct follow up, so it ends... abruptly. Because KYLE.

Cowboy continues to baffle Alex as often as he can. He runs around grinning, never once taking the shit perps throw at him. He laughs, he hollers, he fricking whoops. Alex feels tired just looking at him.

Arturo has, of course, noticed the connection between Alex and Cowboy and sends Alex out whenever there’s rumours or talks of him abound. Usually followed by Rosa, Arturo’s daughter and photographer extraordinaire for the Times, who laughs at him whenever he grumbles about it. Probably because she knows how much Alex enjoys writing about Supers, and Cowboy in particular, even if he pretends not too. The fact that she also has a good eye to one icy blonde Super helps. And Influence, who gave herself the name because no other would do according to the note he found one morning on his desk, is just as smitten in return if the way she throws her hair around when Rosa and her camera is around is any indication.

The point is, that by now the vigilante’s of New York, be they Supers or not, know that when Alex Manes arrives you best be on your finest behavior. And if Rosa is with him, well then you better pray your uniform looks good or she will take a picture of it to fuck with you.

It’s also widely known if you’re a vigilante hanging out at the Wild Pony and you don’t want your identity to be known, you scamper when Maria rings the Alex bell. Lovingly referred to as such because Maria rings it when Alex calls her and tells her he’s on his way over. Having Maria as a best friend since childhood gives him an in he didn’t expect, and though he doesn’t quite know why Maria’s bar got to be the vigilante hang out, he certainly doesn’t mind. As long as he adheres to her rules that keep vigilante safe, he’s more than welcome.

The fact that people have started leaving him messages there and not break into his office is also a good thing. Though Cowboy still does whenever he’s bored. Which is pretty much always.

But that doesn’t mean he’s surprised when he walks into the Pony and Influence is right there at the bar. Only she’s not in costume, but he would recognize that hair everywhere.

“Holy shit, I should’ve known it was you.”

Influence smiles, a smile of all teeth he has only seen in the courtroom before. “Why yes, Mr. Manes, you should have.”

He doesn’t know why Isobel Evans has decided to reveal herself to him, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Rosa has a tiny bit to do with it. But no way is that all.

“So, Defence Attorney Isobel Evans is a Super. And not just a Super, but a vigilante that influences people into doing what she wants. Much like you do in everyday life during court.”

“Yes,” Isobel answers. “But in court I do it by being an extremely good lawyer. I don’t need my powers in there, Manes, I just need my god given intelligence and carefully curated female charm.”

Alex huffs. He’s seen Isobel in court, she’s earned her right to be cocky. “So why are you here now? Why prove without a shadow of a doubt that you are Influence? Especially to someone who reports daily on vigilantes.”

Isobel sighs. “Cowboy is in trouble”

Alex will deny to his dying day the timble his heart takes when he hears those words. “Cowboy is always in trouble, he’s too much of a little shit not to be.”

“While this is completely true, this is a bit different.”

“Different, how?”

“Your dad is involved,” Isobel says, looking him straight in the eye. He notices both Maria and Rosa looking at him, but he can’t think. He doesn’t want his dad anywhere near Cowboy. 

“What did he do?”

Isobel turns to Maria for a second, and Maria catches her eyes with a soft smile and a firm nod. Oh. Oh. That explains so much about how Maria always seems to just know things, even though he knew Maria had a long lost sister, a Super she couldn’t tell him about. He just never expected it to be Influence. He turns to Rosa to see what she thinks, but Rosa just looks at Maria, intrigued and very interested. Oh wow. Okay then. 

“Isobel. My dad. What’s going on?” He asks. Mostly to distract himself from the three women and what that might become, but also because. Cowboy. 

“Do you know just how much of a bad man your father is?”

He doesn’t answer, just raises a brow in a clear indication of ‘what do you think.’ Thankfully Isobel accepts it at face value. 

“Cowboy found some intel about a russian mob moving stolen diamonds and decided to go after them on his lonesome. That might have been fine, if your dad wasn’t already involved.” 

“My dad is involved with anything that can give him money, or power. You know that. Cowboy should know that.”

“We do.” Isobel sighs. “But Cowboy overestimated, and now he’s trapped.”

And Alex suddenly understands why he’s there. “You need me to use my father’s connections to get an in with the Russians.”

“Yes.”

He closes his eyes. Remembers another time he used his father’s connections. Remembers what he lost that day. 

“What you’re asking…”

“I know.” He opens his eyes to find Isobel looking at him with sympathy, Maria too. Rosa clasps her hand on his shoulder. They all know, how could they not. “I wouldn’t ask if there was any other way.”

Alex knows she wouldn’t. The reason she’s here unmasked is abundantly clear to him now, she’s making herself vulnerable. To make up for asking him to be vulnerable. To make up for asking him to put himself in a situation he never wanted to be again. 

“I need an hour.”

The way Isobel’s mask slips for a minute tells him everything he needs to know; she loves Cowboy. There’s a relationship there, one he doesn’t know what is yet. But whatever it is, it’s important to them.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he cautions. “Thank me when I can actually get him out.”

“I’ll get you whatever you need.”

“No need. But if I call you and need a lawyer, you better do it pro bono. Cause I can’t afford you otherwise.”

Isobe grins, another one of her smiles that are all teeth. “It would be my honor, Mr. Manes.”

Alex takes a deep breath. And another one. And another one. Before he turns to Maria. 

“You still have my rig?”

“In the back, like always.”

He moves like a man on a mission, which he supposes he is, ignoring Isobel’s questions about what a rig is and Maria’s softly spoken answer. It’s only as he lets himself into the small back room hidden in Maria’s storage area that he completely exhales. And smiles.

The computer setup he has hidden at the Pony is still his pride and joy, still the one thing he misses most in his day to day life. His fingers itch with the need to hack, itches with a longing that he feels deep in his bones every day. He wants to flex his fingers, he wants to hack into the Pentagon just to prove that he can, he wants to show his father that he can topple him from the inside.

He looks down at his leg, remembers what he lost the last time he was itching to prove something to his father. He wanted to truly show his father that he was no longer his son, and that even though he would act like it in public, he was determined to take him down.

Instead he lost his leg, he lost his brothers, he lost his best friend. He survived losing his brothers, they were always standing in his father’s shadow anyway. He survived losing his leg too, the prosthetic he wears gives him almost as much range of motion now, two years later, and he doesn’t completely hate it.

But Kyle. He will never get over Kyle believing his father over him. He will never forgive him, even if losing him felt worse than realizing his father hated him for something he couldn’t control.

He shakes his head slightly, he’s not here for a pity party. He’s here to do something he swore he would never do again after last time. But he’ll do it for Cowboy. And he knows exactly what he needs. 

Project Shepherd is his dad’s most hidden project, his dad’s pride and joy. Created to target Super’s, with it he can topple every vigilante off of their ‘throne’, and make them pay for showing him up. To bad he’s using bad men to fund it. 

Alex knows he doesn’t have time to find everything but he doesn’t have too. He just needs the info on the Russian mob hidden in those files. And then he can go get Cowboy. And tear him a new one for being so stupid. He doesn’t know how Cowboy got whatever information he’s working with, but it’s not the best and now he’s in danger. The stupid idiot.

He gives the rig one last look over before he sits down, shaking off old memories as he does. Maria’s been taking good care of it, as she promised to do, and when he turns on the computer it responds like it always does; quickly and perfectly. The way he remembers.

He smiles as the computer boots, he smiles wider as he logs in and sets the security, he grins as he starts the hack. It’s easy, it’s familiar, it’s home in a way many things in his life isn’t these days. But he leaves that all behind, he doesn’t have time for the feelings of right that settles in his spine as he wades through the information on his father’s server. Though, really, he has a hacker son that got a lot of information the last time he got in. Why the hell the Chief hasn’t updated the security he will never understand. Even though he probably didn’t expect Alex to ever do this again. After last time.

But it does make it easier for him to get through, to subvert the passwords and flimsy security measures on the files to find exactly what he needs. He gets lost in it, the world of code, the strings of zeros and ones. Until he finds it.

When he pulls back from his fugue and shuts down the rig he looks at the clock. 58 minutes. Right on time.

He gives his setup one last fond look, before he shuts the door and walks back into the bar. Isobel is on a barstool fidgeting, with Maria glancing over at her as she deals with other customers. Rosa is next to Isobel, softly talking in what seems to be a distracting effort. It’s not working, as Isobel’s head pops up the minute he gets back, but the squeeze she gives Rosa’s hand still says something.

“Did you-?”

“Yeah,” he answers. “I found what I need.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not.” He can see Isobel’s nostrils flare in irritation and the beginning of anger. “Influence is.”

Isobel narrows her eyes slightly. “Why?”

“I need more than the name of Manes to get me in the door, I need a Super.”

The narrowing of her eyes turns into a slow grin. “Meet me out back.”

Alex inclines his head at her as she walks out of the bar. He looks over at Rosa, but she already know, and nods as she moves closer to where Maria is, who smiles reassuringly at Alex. He smiles back before he turns to walk out after Isobel.

“Alex?” He stops. “Influence will take care of you. Don’t be afraid.”

He nods in Maria’s direction as he walks out.

He’s not expecting Influence to already be standing in full attire besides his car. The white, skin tight costume is paired with white boots today, the black accents gleaming in the light.

“A cape?” He asks, referring to the long, white leather cape attached to Influence’s shoulders.

“What? You told me it would look good.”

“That I did.” He grins. “It looks amazing.””

Influence grins back at him as she gestures to the car. He unlocks it, and gets in on the drivers side. She’s impatient, but he understands. He still has much to learn about Cowboy, and Influence. He knows Isobel Evans from the court cases he’s reported on. He doesn’t know the Super.

He also knows that they don’t have time to learn things now but he knows he wants to eventually. Both as a Super and whoever she is to Cowboy. And Maria. And Rosa.

“What do you need from me?” He also likes how direct an on point she is.

“Influence them. Get me in the door, then you can find Cowboy and get him out. I’ll handle the rest.”

“You want me to leave you there?!?”

“You’re not leaving me. You’re doing what I need you to do. I’ll get myself out.”

“Alex-”

“Don’t worry.” He grips the wheel tighter. “I won’t make the same mistake again.”

He can feel Isobel disapprove, but he doesn’t care. He came there for Cowboy, and Cowboy will be getting out. He has his own exit strategy.

The rest of the ride is spent in silence. He knows exactly where the Russian compound is, which building Cowboy would’ve been stupid enough to break into. The diamond storage is a nickname in the underground, but it’s also exactly what it is. While there might not be all that many stones there, all the information is there. And he has exactly what he needs to get out, provided Influence can get him in.

“We’re here,” he says as they arrive at the storage building the Russians guard with their life if they have to. He parks outside and gets out, already aware of the twelve pairs of eyes following them.

“Showtime,” he murmurs to Influence as she joins him, and walks forward as if he owns the place. And in a way he does, he is a Manes after all.

But no one stops them, and as he looks over to Isobel he can understand why. Her eyes are closed, even as she’s walking forward as if her eyes were open. The guards fall into place, they move aside, they open the door for him as he walks up to it. The commotion inside quiets as he walks in, Influence on his heel. He’s seen her work before. But this, is impressive. It’s even more impressive as she opens her eyes and still people stay where they are.

“What. Is the meaning of this.”

The burliest Russian Alex has ever seen gets up from the table set in the outer part of the building. He gives a subtle nod to Influence who gives him one last long look before she moves off, almost as if no one can see her. As if they’ve forgotten she’s there.

“Mr. Serkoff, I presume. My name is Alex Manes.” He’s delighted to see that everyone freezes when they hear the last name. “I’m here to collect for my father.”

“The drop-off is tomorrow.”

“No. The collect is now. Nasty business with the senator last week, Mr Serkoff, the collect needs to happen now.” Finding the senator that had been accepting donations from the Russian mob was the golden goose. Having his father’s name is the egg. “I was sent her by my father to get the stones. Do you really want to make him wait?”

“I will need to call and check.”

“Okay.” He waits until the phone is up off of Mr. Serkoff’s pocket and he’s started to dial. “If you want to disturb him this late, that’s on you.”

He doesn’t have to wait long after that for the diamonds to be delivered to him. A pouch of eight, perfect diamonds with the serial number taken off. He dreads what his father needs this for.

“Thank you, Mr. Serkoff. I’ll tell my father you co-operated, gracefully,” he says, nodding as the Russian as he turns and begins to walk out.

“Wait.”

He stops. Remembers the last time. Shakes his head minutely and pushes it from his mind. “Yes?”

“What about the cash?”

Alex looks at the russian over his shoulder. “That will be dealt with, keep it here for now.” 

“You won’t take it with you?”

“No. Deliver that as planned tomorrow, I’ll take care off the diamonds.”

Mr. Serkoff narrows his eyes, but nods. And Alex is home free.

He keeps his breathing calm as he exits the building, keeps his breath calm as he gets into his car and starts it, keeps his breath calm as he exits the compound. It’s when he encounters Influence holding a bleeding Cowboy that he panics slightly.

“Is he okay?!?”

“He will be,” Influence says as she dumps a groaning Cowboy into the back of the car. “I need you to take us to the Pony, we have a doctor waiting there.”

“You have a doctor that takes care of Super’s?”

“Yes. We also have a healer but he’s out of town. So Dr. Valenti it is.”

He drives them back as quick as he can, calling Maria when he’s 10 minutes out as he always does so she can ring her Alex bell. It’s not until they’re inside the Pony, putting Cowboy on a table in the back room that he realizes what name Isobel said.

“Here, the idiot on the table asked me to give you this,” Influence says as she shoves a piece of paper in his hands. He sees the E on it before the door bursts open.

“What the hell did the idiot do now?”

And Alex watches as his old best friend, the man who sided with his dad and told him Super’s shouldn’t be allowed to roam the streets, walks into the room. He never expected this to be the way he would see Kyle again.