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thatesqcrush · 5 months ago

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Reel Temptation

Rafael Barba x f!reader. P*rn star! Barba AU.

WC: 2.6K

Summary: It’s the Golden Age of P*rn, circa 1970s. Reader accompanies roommate to a casting call for an adult film. Little does she know that her life is about to change when she meets the male lead.

NSFW for language, talk about sex work and adult films, smoking (cigarettes and recreational drug use).

AN: s/o to @beccabarba for being my soundboard and never wavering encouragement.

AN2: sex work is work. Sex work will always exist - we need to make it safer for sex workers to do their jobs. Continued criminalization of sex work and sex workers is a form of violence by governments and contributes to the high level of stigma and discrimination.

AN3: this is a repost of part one as Tumblr decided it was too explicit & hid it from public view.

The apartment in California was a relic of the 1970s, steeped in the bold, eclectic charm of the era. Low-slung, avocado-green sofas sprawled across the shag-carpeted living room, beneath the warm glow of a globe-shaped chandelier. Wood-paneled walls held abstract prints, while hanging plants in macramé holders swayed gently by the sliding glass doors. In the kitchen, harvest gold appliances hummed quietly, surrounded by dark wood cabinets and a linoleum floor with a dizzying geometric pattern. The bedroom, with its velvet curtains and paisley bedspread, whispered of cozy nights in a space reflecting the free spirited culture of the time.

“Come on!”

A pillow landed on your head. You groaned as you rolled over, facing your roommate, Sadie who was in process of flicking her hair into wings. “I don’t want to go. Three’s Company’s on and this is the episode where there is some kind of understanding.”

“So you’ve already seen it then. Please,” Sadie begged. “You can read lines with me.”

You sat up further and sat with your legs crossed. “Since when do pornos have a plot line?” you sneered.

“It’s not porn - it’s really classy. It’s legit,” your roommate continued. She turned from the vanity to look at you. “Please.”

You let out an irritated sigh as you rolled your eyes. “Fine, fine, fine,” you grumbled. “Where’s this place anyway?”

“In the Valley.”

You stretched your arms as you stood, your shirt lifting exposing your midriff as you did so. “You’re paying for the gas. And any snacks.”

***

The casting office was small and seedy, reeking of smoke and something else. There was a line of women of all shapes and sizes waiting to be called. There’s a desk where an older, bald man is flipping through photos. It’s hot and sticky, the humidity suffocating despite a ceiling fan and standing fan going off on high.

There’s another room adjacent and in there, another man stands a few paces back, fiddling with the view-finder on a film camera. You sit on a peeling linoleum chair next to Sadie as you peruse the so-called script.

“Sadie, are you sure about this?”

Sadie chewed on her bottom lip, thinking. She nodded after a bit. “Yes, totally sure.” The tone in her voice however, led you to believe she was maybe trying to convince herself.

“Look, we can just go,” you whispered. “No one’s gonna give a shit. Or notice for that matter.”

You stood and faced her, outstretching your arm. “Come on, you don’t even have to pay me for the gas.”

A man’s voice filled the room and you heard the gaggle of ladies giggle and swoon. When you turned around, your breath hitched.

“That’s him - that’s my co-star…,” Sadie replied, a large grin on her face. “Hopefully!”

“That’s your … who is he?” you questioned, dropping your arm as you drank him in. Dark hair, thick sideburns, and a full, bushy - but well groomed- mustache. He wore a collared shirt with a bold pattern and fitted flare jeans. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned, revealing a dark chest hair.

His overall appearance exuded confidence and a laid-back charm, embodying the free-spirited, adventurous spirit of the time.

He’s painfully handsome, good-looking in a way that disarms you, making you feel giddy, like a child waiting to meet Santa. He’s so handsome it is almost burning, as if you cannot look at him full on.

“His name is Rafael Barba, but on screen he goes by ‘The Judge.’

You whipped your head to the other voice, this time female and not Sadie’s.

This woman was tall and drop dead gorgeous with high cheekbones and chestnut hair. “Names Olivia. I help book the girls.”

Her gaze fell on you and Sadie and you had a feeling that she was mentally adding you both up.

“First timer?”

Olivia’s sharp gaze landed on you and you shook your head. “Not me. Her.” You jutted your thumb at Sadie.

Olivia narrowed her eyes. “Maybe,” she murmured to herself, dropping her gaze. She looked up at you once more. “Let me go speak to The Judge.”

Sadie squealed. “Oh my God, it’s happening!” She bounced in place.

You rolled your eyes and watched Olivia go over to “The Judge,” who was flirting with the gaggles of women. She tapped his shoulder and then whispered something in his ear. He gave a curt nod, before following her. The Judge is even more handsome up close and his body is thick, in a functionally fit kind of way. The way you knew the weight of him would feel oh so fucking good on top of you, crushing you. A jolt of pleasure coursed through you and as you felt your cheeks heat, but you chalked it up to the heat.

The Judge stroked his chin as was now his turn to assess. He turned to Olivia and pointed to you, whispering in hushed tones. Olivia nodded in response, and you’re only able to make out an ‘I agree.’

The Judge stalked off and Olivia turned around to face the line of still-swooning women. “Casting is over. We’ve got our girl. Come back tomorrow.”

The group of women begin to groan and complain about wasted time and it not being fair as they dispersed. Olivia made her way back to you and Sadie.

“So here’s the deal,” she began and pointed at you. “I know you’re not here for this, but The Judge wants you.”

“Me?” you exclaimed at the same time Sadie replied incredulously, “Her?”

“No no, you made a mistake. I have no interest…” your voice dies off as Olivia narrowed her eyes once more on you.

“He wants you. And he’s willing to double the pay at his cost.”

You shake your head incredulously. “This cannot be happening.”

“Wait, what about me?” Sadie chimed in.

“I didn’t forget about you sweetheart. You’ll be our fluff girl.”

“Fluff girl?” You questioned, puzzled.

“Basically your girl will give a handy or blow to keep his cock up on set. After setting up the desired angle, the director usually requests the actors to hold position, which can be a bit… deflating. The fluff makes sure the actors are fully inflated for the shot.”

“And how much does that pay?” Sadie questioned, her tone disappointed. The pay is a quarter of the original pay. Sadie huffed. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Then the door is right there,” Olivia replied sharply. She turned to you. “What do you think? You in?”

Your brain is swirling and your cunt is throbbing at the idea of being fucked by The Judge. Before you can allow for rationality to seep in, you nod. “No way, no thank you.”

Olivia cocked her head. “Shame. He thought you had it in you.”

“Me?” You squeaked. “It’s just that I— I’ve never—”

“We get it all the time. The good girls who wouldn’t ever dare, the ones who clutch their pearls. It’s just fucking. It’s not that serious. You’re telling me you’ve never fucked before?”

You shook your head. “Of course I have.”

“Okay, so how is this any different? In fact, it’s better. You get paid.”

Olivia switched her gaze from you to Sadie. She gave her a once over again. “You know what, I could use you for another film. I’ve got this other guy, Sonny - real nice on the eyes. Think you’d be perfect. What do you think? I’ll pay you to fluff and for a movie?”

Sadie brightened. “Yeah, perfect.”

Olivia grinned. “I’ll put you up at the motor lodge nearby. Be here tomorrow at noon.” She turned to you again. “What about you sweetheart? Am I wasting my time? Are you telling me that I have to call all of those women back?”

You sucked in air between your teeth and thought about how fucking sexy The Judge was. And so you decided there and then with what was in between your legs, than what was in between your ears.

“I’m in.”

***

You arrived the next afternoon with Sadie. Another assistant - a blonde woman named Amanda - was having you sign off various consent forms.

“Do you have any limits? The Judge wants to know.”

“Limits?” You questioned. “What do you—“

“Jesus Christ,” Amanda replied exasperated. “Olivia told me that you had sex before. Was that a lie?”

“No!” You replied sharply. Amanda raised a brow and you lowered your voice. “Never had any complaints from my boyfriends.”

Amanda smirked. “Limits are shit that you don’t want to do. For instance, anal, golden showers - being pissed on,” she clarified when she saw the confused look on your face. “So if you don’t want to do something, then you let us know.

You cocked a brow. “Um, I guess anything involving piss. And shit, if that’s a thing too.”

Amanda laughed before she lit a cigarette. “Believe me, there are lots of fucked up people out there who like to do all sorts of fucked up stuff - shit included. So you’re good with butt stuff?”

You nodded. “I haven’t done it much, but yeah. I’m good for it.”

Amanda gave you a lascivious, devious grin. “Perfect.”

***

You were shown to your changing room and told to get in a robe. Some test shots were needed to make sure lighting was good. There was another handsome man, with dark hair and dark eyes. He was behind the camera, adjusting the viewfinder.

“Hey,” you reply quietly. The man lifted his gaze and looked over at you. A shit-eating grin spread on his face.

“Hey princess. I’m Nick, I’m the videographer.” He snapped the gum he was chewing. “When you’re ready, just stand in front of the screen and undo your robe, just the top.”

You swallowed nervously, your heart hammering in your chest. “Okay.” You did as he said, your nipples instantly hardening due to the air.

Nick let out a whistle and nodded. “Those are some real nice tits. Real pretty.”

You blushed, feeling your cheeks heat. “Thanks.”

Before long you were doing a full nude shot. Mid-one shot where you where on all fours, looking back at the camera, Olivia walked in. She nodded. “Looking good honey. Got your friend Sadie already in a scene with Sonny. And The Judge is mid-scene.”

You blinked. “Really? Could I watch? Just to get a better idea of what it’ll be like for me?”

Nick snapped his gum and let out a little grunt. Olivia narrowed her eyes. “Nick, you’ve got enough shots, I am sure. Give her a break, she’s a newbie.”

Nick rolled his eyes. You donned your robe back on. Nick walked over your way and jutted his head. “Come on, I’ll take you.”

You followed Nick down a few hallways and soon enough, your ears picked up the sounds of someone clearly getting fucked. The room was small and tight, the crew basically taking up the entirety of the space. You squeezed your way in, the air thick with the scent of sex, lube and sweat. You watched the scene before you completely transfixed and enraptured. There before you was The Judge fucking some woman on a couch. Her legs were in the air as he gripped them tightly, fucking her without abandon.

You felt yourself grow wet as The Judge railed this woman thoroughly, dragging his cock through her slick pussy, over and over.

“Such a good slut, taking my cock so well,” The Judge grunted.

The woman wailed as she came, her tits bouncing in tandem with the pace of being fucked.

“Gonna come,” The Judge grunted. He slid his cock out and your pussy clenched in response. His cock was big and thick, an angry shade of red- almost purple, covered in the woman’s slick ready to bust. ‘Jesus Christ,’ you thought. ‘How am I going to fit that in me?’

He stroked himself over her stomach and then came with a long, low, almost guttural groan. The white ropes of his release coat her stomach, catching the obnoxious overhead lighting.

“Cut!”

The director’s voice snapped you out of your reverie.

The woman sat up and stood, before grabbing a robe to slip on, leaving it hanging open. She leaned over to grab a towel to wipe herself. The Judge slipped on his pants, foregoing underwear. He looked up and met your gaze.

"You think you can keep up, sunshine?"

You read the surprise in his eyes as you replied. "I can take anything you dish out, bub."

The Judge smirked. “Rafael Barba.” He extended his hand and you shook it in response. You relayed your name and he repeated it slowly, as if savoring it. And the way he said it was just delicious.

“Liv told me you have never done this before.”

You furrowed your brows. “Sex or porn?”

Rafael laughed and he reached into his back pocket to pull out a pack of Marlboros. He offered you one and you took it. He slid a lighter from his front pocket and flicked it open and offered it out. You take a step closer, leaning forward to dip the tip of your cigarette into the flame. It ignited and you step back, smoke mingling in the air.

“Porn. If you had been a virgin, I would be fucking your friend and not you in about an hour.”

You nodded before taking a drag. “Nope, definitely not a virgin. You blew out smoke before you continued, “So what is our scene or whatever?”

“Liv didn’t tell you?” Rafael seemed amused. “We have a whole courtroom set up. You’re gonna be the lawyer who gets called into chambers.”

Your eyes widened a little. “Oh.”

“I figure we’ll start with some oral, both of us and the I’ll fuck you from behind over the desk. I’ll finish on your ass. That work?”

You ran through it in your mind. “What about if I lay on my back on the desk and you can finish on my tits?”

Rafael ran a finger through his mustache as he eyed you. His voice was low and dark as he replied. “Yeah, that’d work sunshine. I’ll take the lead.” He was still shirtless and you eyed him appreciatively.

Rafael lifted your chin with his finger and your eyes met his. “Seriously. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” He winked and you flushed in response, already sensing the charge in the air.

Rafael eyed your robe, not completely undone but a little loose. He traced a finger over the trim by the opening. “Do you mind if I get a peek?”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, suddenly feeling vulnerable. Part of you was excited, thrilled by the risquéness of it all. The other part was that he was a stranger - the men who had seen you naked were boyfriends who awkwardly groped you in the backseat of cars or movie theaters.

You swallowed and nodded before undoing your robe, letting it fall to your lower back. You felt hot as Rafael immediately licked his lips. “Fuck, those are some pretty tits.”

You felt yourself blush in response.

“May I?” Rafael asked and it took you a second to realize that he meant if he could touch you. You nodded.

His hands were large, with long dexterous fingers, well manicured and patterned with veins. You watched his hand flex and you knew instantly, every movement intentional. Patterned with veins, well manicured, with unexpected strength. His skin was warm and soft. Rafael’s touch began rather innocently, along your arm up to along your shoulder. He then brought it down your clavicle to your sternum. He cupped one breast with his hand, feeling the weight of it against his palm. When his finger brushed your nipple, a bolt of pleasure shot down to your core. You couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.

“Mmmm, so responsive,” Rafael said, his voice dark and low. “We really are going to have a lot of fun,” Rafael replied once more as he took a drag of his smoke.

TBC.

AN4: Lmk if you want to be tagged when I post part two!

#rafael barba x reader #rafael barba and reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba smut #Rafael Barba au fanfic #rafael barba fanfiction

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mrs-adabarba · 4 months ago

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Do people still read rafael barba fanfictions because I've had one stuck in my head for weeks and I just wanna write it 😂

#rafael barba #l&o svu #svu #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba smut #rafael #barba #law and order svu #nicm amaro #fanfiction idea

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vintageneptune92 · 8 days ago

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Burn the Shadow- 12

Soooo this chapter gets smutty. If you’re not into it, it’s in a different color so you can skip it, but not miss the rest of the chapter or anything truly plot related. But I feel like our girl deserves a little happiness. She’s had a rough few months.

It’s something I haven’t written in a long time so if it’s meh, I apologize. I also hate a lot of the way anatomical parts are named. I tried to avoid all of it.

It’s not something I plan to include in every chapter. I think their first time is definitely important. If I think it fits in the chapter going forward, I’ll include it. But I’ll always have it in a way that you can skip it if you don’t like reading it in stories.

Thank you all for your likes, comments and reblogs. Some of your comments have been so kind and really encouraging.

I hope you enjoy!

Gia did not think that Friday was ever going to come. It had been quite possibly the longest week in her career. She realized she abhorred desk duty. Sara's husband gave them absolutely nothing to go on other than raising Gia's suspicions more. For the first time in her career, she willingly ended her work day early. Cragen had been proud that she realized she needed to get a few days break over the weekend to clear her head. Her first week back had been emotionally exhausting. Her anger had at least dissipated. It transferred to frustration, but that didn't feel like it was swallowing her whole.

She had apologized to Nick for being so incredibly hateful to him. He had laughed it off and said he had deserved it. He should have accepted when the first tease didn't land the way it usually did that he should have tried a different tactic. He was just thrilled that she was lashing out at him instead of just shutting him out. Gia loved Ali, and she had been the best friend that she needed when she and Ali met; but Nick Amaro was the the best friend she had ever had.

One thing she did feel was sheer freedom when it came to her relationship with Rafael. They had fought it for the longest time, slowly started giving in. The idea of hiding what they had was daunting and apparently impossible. Everyone knew they would end up together before they did. Telling the DA, officially telling Cragen meant that they didn't have to hide. While they weren't going to break the wall of professionalism at work, he could walk her to the precinct and hold her hand while doing so. She could meet him outside of the courthouse to head home with his arm around her without having to worry about anyone questioning it. They could go out to a restaurant and not worry if they happened to bump into one of the defense attorneys that seemed to be on the SVU rotation.

She had never let herself imagine being in a relationship like theirs. She never let herself even hope to find someone like Rafael. The idea that she could be so completely vulnerable and open with anyone was was laughable; the idea of her being worthy of love like this was inconceivable. Gianna was in love with him, deep down she knew he was in love with her, neither able to admit it. She didn't feel deserving of his adoration.

They had been taking their time moving along the levels of intimacy, but Gia was going crazy; the way she needed him to touch her and to be close to him made her feel almost feral. She was sure Rafael knew that he was absolutely driving her out of her mind and he was enjoying it. At first it may have been altruistic, wanting to make sure he didn't take advantage of where she had been emotionally. Now, however, she was certain that he was enjoying slowly torturing her with want and need.

The night prior had dissolved any remnants of self control she had as they were laying in bed kissing like they were teenagers in love for the first time. His hands gently roaming her body as if he was trying to memorize every inch of her skin made her feel like she was on fire. His tongue tracing the outer line of her lower lip asking for admission into her mouth. His palm gliding up the back of her thigh and over to her hip to grip it tightly before his finger tips danced up and down her inner thigh so close to where she needed them. The feeling of him kissing her neck as his hand traveled underneath her shirt as his thumb ghosting across her nipple. They all had her almost begging for more, but she couldn't allow herself to give him that satisfaction.

She had learned by his expression as he watched her in front of the mirror that he was a fan of a well fitting pencil skirt. So that morning, she had pulled out a black one, just a little bit tighter and just a little bit above the knee with a tight purpleish blue belted v-neck sweater. Though the fall air was chilly, she ruled against the stockings. She slid on black high heels that made her calves look amazing. Still perfectly professional, but just enough to tease him the way he had been doing to her.

She purposely waited to put lipstick on. His grip on her hips had been a little bit tighter, he had yanked her a little bit closer and that was when she felt his physical arousal. She allowed her hand to slowly and briefly graze across it a few times while he was kissing her. The satisfaction of him leaning into her palm for more friction had finally giving her a sense of control, though it was torturing herself a little too. She had abruptly snapped her hand away and rushed out of the apartment.

That man found multiple reasons to show up at the precinct that day, none of which couldn't be answered over the phone. Nick had picked up on something because he looked like the cat that caught the canary, but he didn't say a word. He didn't have to. Gia could read it in his eyes. Just for an added measure, she left the precinct at 3pm, the frustration of the case grating on her. She had headed over to his office to see him before she headed home. He had asked Carmen to to run out and grab him coffee. As soon as she was gone, he had shut his office door and had Gia pinned up against it, all vows of maintaining professionalism out the window.

He had pinned her hands up, one on each side of her head, his fingers laced into hers. Ash his lips were on her neck she had chided "Counselor, this is very inappropriate behavior for the office of a District Attorney." She had felt him laugh against her neck. He had connected his lips with hers again as he ran his hands downs her body and just when he had clouded her brain enough to cut off her ability to think he had abruptly stopped. "You better get out of here before Carmen gets back and catches us. You know this office leaks like a sieve. You don't want people talking about how you've corrupted me." She had scoffed at the sheer idea of her corrupting him and slowly peeled herself away from his body.

She could see her reflection in the windows that looked out over the city. She had her hair up and she had changed her clothes. She was casually drinking a glass of her revered cheap champagne in his Harvard t-shirt. It hit her just below her mid-thigh. He liked to play unfair, so she was just evening the playing field. She also knew that he had an affinity for her in his clothing. She smiled slightly when she heard his keys in the door. She continued to look out over the city, slowly sipping her drink, deliberately not turning to look at him. She tempered her smile as she heard him toss his keys on the table and his bag hit the floor. She knew he did it loudly enough to try to make her jump, he had seen her do that many times, but it was only when it was unexpected; she didn't even flinch.

She saw his reflection as he approached her. He had lost the suit jacket, tie and vest in record time. Though, she suspected he had done that before he even left the office. All that remained were the suspenders over his light blue dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up. It proved once and for all that he knew she loved that look on him.

She saw, with satisfaction, his eyes widen just slightly when he noticed what she was wearing.He dropped his head to her shoulder for a moment, his hands squeezing her hips. His restraint finally unraveling was incredibly satisfying and a definite turn on. He was the epitome of self-control, it was gratifying to be the one to break it.

"I'm trying to enjoy my drink you know." she teased. His head snapped up and ticked ever so slightly to the left. It was a tell that someone had the audacity to say something utterly ridiculous. It took everything she had not to break into a grin. He removed his hand from her hip and took the glass from her hand and finished the drink in two long sips. He cringed slightly.

"Okay, first of all, rude." He spun her around, clearly not interested in her smart mouth comments.

"I don't know how you enjoy that cheap shit. You are an evil, evil woman." As she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, he could see the t-shirt lift up just enough in the back to see that instead of her pajama shorts, she was only wearing a pair of underwear. She saw his eyes darken slightly. She yelped when he crashed his lips against hers while picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist, carrying her into the bedroom.

She started unbuttoning every button she could reach while wrapped around his body. When they got into the bedroom, Rafael slowly set her down. As soon as her feet touched the carpet, she slid the suspenders off of his shoulders and untucked his shirt so she could finish unbuttoning it and then tossed it on the floor and immediately unzipped his pants. He broke the kiss with a chuckle.

"Eager are we?" He teased as his fingers traced the waist along the back of her underwear.

"I mean, I'm in far less clothing than you, so it's only fair. I could go get myself another drink since someone so rudely drank mine." She side stepped and attempted to go back out to the living room when he snaked his arm around her waist and swung her back around as she laughed.

"Like I said, evil." He whispered in her ear. Her back was pressed against him and she felt him playing with the hem of his t-shirt that was clinging to her body.

"I have been thinking about you all day and it has been driving me crazy. If I could have guaranteed we wouldn't have gotten caught, we would have christened that couch in my office."

"You have been driving me crazy for weeks." She let out a small gasp when he slid both of his hands under the shirt to massage her breasts. She could feel her heart beat pounding in her ears.

"Oh I know, Cariña, ever since I had you up on that countertop." She almost whined when she felt his hands pull from her skin, but it was to pull the shirt over her head.

She took the opportunity to turn back around so she could see him and then returned the favor by pulling the white tshirt that had been under his dress shirt. He closed his eyes as she slowly ran her hands across his bare shoulders, down his chest and his stomach. She ran her hands back up until her hands were resting on his cheeks and she kissed him again, deeply. His hands were exploring her bare back. When the kiss broke, he tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

"Are you going to get on that bed, or do you need me to pick you back up and throw you on it?"

"Now who's eager." she quipped before she sat on the end of the bed and slowly moved her way back towards the pillows. She felt an annoying pang of anxiety as she watched him explore her almost completely nude body with his eyes.

"God, you're perfect." The teasing tone had vanished from his voice when he saw the slight look of apprehension on her face. The look in his eyes as he slowly crawled in next to her rendered her speechless. He laid on his side, studying her face as his hand explored her body as he had done many times. His hands slowly traveled over her breasts, rolling her nipples in between his fingers and then down her stomach, with just enough pressure so she wouldn't involuntarily jolt away. He traveled down her hip and down the outside of her thigh to her knee and then slowly up the inside of her thigh.

Her eyes were closed, lips slightly parted in anticipation. Her back arched as he ran his fingers up and down in between her legs over her underwear.

"Rafael, please." Her eyes shot open. He smiled and then brought his body over hers and kissed her slowly across her jawline and down her neck. His mouth followed the same path as his hand. Her breath hitched as his tongue swirled around her nipples before sucking on them lightly before traveling down her stomach. When his fingers hooked on the band of her underwear, she lifted her pelvis so he could slide them off.

He had toyed between making her tell him with painstaking details about what she wanted him to do and listening to the cues from her body. He had been bringing her to the brink for weeks only to deny her. Right now, he wanted to learn her what she liked for himself first.

She let out a soft moan as he placed open mouthed kisses along her inner thigh, sucking lightly every so often. She watched intently as he placed her one leg over his shoulder. His eyes locked on hers and he ran his tongue from in circles at her entrance so he could relish the taste of her. The moan she let out was music to his ears. He slowly slid his tongue inside of her flicking it in and out before running it all the way up to her clit.

She cried out his name when he wrapped his lips around it and sucked lightly. She laced her fingers into his hair as he traced circles slowly around the bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue. When he quickened his pace, her grip in his hair tightened causing him to groan, the vibration had her l grinding into him.

"Raf, I need your fingers inside of me, please." She cried out and he was more than happy to oblige her. He loved that she wasn't afraid to ask for what she wanted. He slid his middle finger and forefinger inside of her and curled them up, keeping the quick pace of his tongue circling her clit as he thrusted his fingers in and out.

"Fuck...that feels so good...Raf don't stop, baby please don't stop, I'm so close." With those words, he would sooner cut his hand off than to withdraw it. When he added a third finger, she threw her head back and he picked up the pace of his tongue. She was almost there. He could tell by the quickness of her breathing and the profanities mixed with her crying out his name. Hearing her, and feeling her grind herself against him had him rock hard and she had barely touched him.

She cried out one more time before he felt her walls clench around his fingers as she went rigid. When he felt her body start to relax, he retracted his tongue from her clit and went back to kissing her inner thighs, but didn't stop the pace of his fingers pumping in and out of her as he kissed back up her body, her skin beautifully flushed. When he reached her mouth, her nails were digging at his back as he kissed her so she could taste herself on him. She was breathing too heavily to kiss him for long.

"Rafael...I...what are you..." her voice trailed, unable to complete a thought as he was still relentlessly pumping his fingers into her.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can give me one more, can't you?” She gave him a wide eyed look before nodding.

"Good girl." He praised. "Let me feel you one more time, come for me." This time, her climax hit her like a freight train as he felt her walls clench tighter around his fingers. He rode it out with her before he slowly retracted his fingers. As she was coming back down, he slid his boxer briefs off, using the fluid from her releases to stroke along his hardened length.

"That might be the sexiest thing I have ever seen" His eyes flicked up to hers. Lust filled was the only way to describe the sound of her voice.

"Mmmm....what's that baby?" The pet name that embarrassed him not that long ago was now just rolling off his tongue, the only one seeming appropriate.

"Watching you, touch yourself because of me, using the fruits of your labor from my body? So fucking sexy. Maybe let me return the favor?" She suggested and attempting to get to him and he slowly laid her back down, confusion flooding her face.

"Sweetheart, you are not the only person I have been torturing these last few weeks. I've enjoyed a few cold showers imagining your gorgeous lips wrapped around me. And I can tell you if I let you do that I will be done for. And this night? It's is all about you." He wanted her to know that he cared about her needs just as much if not more than his own. She deserved that from him.

"Let me touch you at least." He laid next to her and he watched how she reached between her legs to gather her own arousal and stroke up and down his erection.

"Gianna...Jesus." It was her turn to kiss him; and she did slowly, sucking on his earlobe and his pulse points she squeezed at the base of his erection. He soon withdrew her hand from him postioned himself between her legs. He took himself in his hands he teased her entrance with the the tip of his erection that elicited a guttural moan from her.

"Rafael. I am begging you, please stop teasing me." There were so many ways in which he wanted to take her. He had thought about it so many times. This first time though, he wanted to take his time. He wanted to enjoy her. He wanted her to feel everything that he felt about her. He slowly slid inside of her and watched as her jaw went slack as she adjust to him.

"Look at me." He whispered. When her eyes fluttered open, he slid his hand up her right calf to hook it around his hip. His movements were slow, but deliberate. She felt breathless as he ran the palm of his hand up her thigh and rested his hand on her hip for a moment when she started to match his movements. He continued moving his hand up her body, his thumb grazing her nipple again. She moaned and wrapped her other leg around his waist and he slid his hand into hers lacing their fingers together. She closed her eyes again and tipped her head back. Rafael dipped his head down and kissed her neck.

She squeezed the hand she was holding as he continued to drive himself into her. She had never felt so connected to another person. Rafael was a perfect fit, both mentally and physically. The idea of "soul mates" was such a laughable concept to her. Yet now, she understood how someone could be the other half of your heart. She placed her free hand on the side of his face, gently running her thumb across the slight stubble on his cheek.

When they locked eyes again, he brought his lips to hers and she felt her third release slowly building. Rafael could feel it too in the tremble of her thighs and the way she was slowly tightening around him. He pressed his forehead to hers as he continued his pursuit as she hooked her arm underneath him and her hand splayed on his back.

"Let go for me, one more time." He picked up his pace and started pushing into her harder when he felt her hand digging into his back. She was so close, but was almost afraid to allow herself a release. She knew it would also release everything she felt for him. He whispered his request one more time when she finally succumbed. She felt her body squeezed tightly against his, her head dropped back and a silent cry on her lips. Rafael chased after his own release and found it as he rode hers out.

He let go of her hand that had been squeezing his and slowly unwrapped her legs from around his waist. He connected his lips with hers as he slowly retracted from her body. He laid next to her, feeling light headed. When he went to reach for her, she was sitting on the edge of the bed sliding his t-shirt back on. He felt a dread seep in.

"Are you okay?" tumbled out of his mouth. She turned to look at him, giving him a soft smile.

"Yeah, I'm just going to clean up quick. I'll be right back." He felt himself relax. Part of him had still been worried about the emotional roller coaster she had been on. Sex came with so many emotions, he didn't want that to be what pushed her into a free fall.

Gia leaned against the cool bathroom door after she shut it behind her. She needed a moment to catch her breath and collect herself. She had never felt intense feelings like this for anyone before. All of her senses felt overwhelmed.

Once she had cleaned herself up, she splashed some water on her face, almost scared to see her own reflection. She pulled her hair down and let her curls cascade around her. When she looked up, she didn't see what she had expected. The haunted glow her eyes had held for so long had started to clear. The circles under her eyes gone and her body free from the emotional tension.

Her transformation wasn't because they finally slept together, it was because of him and all of the things he did that led up to them being together. Being with him allowed her to feel safe enough to sleep through the night, almost nightmare free. He allowed her to be angry and even rage at him so she could expel those emotions. He made her laugh. His touch brought her comfort. He didn't use her for anything. He didn't even ask her for anything. After everything that had happened to her, he had helped heal her. She dried her face off and took one more look at herself. Her hair was wild around her. Normally she would be working to contain it, but for him she didn't have to.

When she opened the bathroom door, Rafael had slid his boxers back on and straightened the bed. He was seated in Gia's oversized chair. When they were cleaning the apartment out, her brother had decided brand new furniture would help Gia move on. Rafael knew how much she loved that chair, so he had taken it. It needed to be re-upholstered and it took some time to find the original material. He had surprised her with it when she decided she wanted to stay with him. It had been sheer luck that it was ready then. He also got a large bookshelf for her to bring her books and records and the things that made his home feel like their home. They were going to go to her other apartment and pack up the rest of her things next Friday, since it was the day after Thanksgiving.

These were all positioned in the far side of the room near the long windows. The chair was slightly angled towards the window. One of her favorite ways to relax was to people watch up above. He would often find her in that chair, legs hanging over the side and reading a book or sketching.

Before he could even speak, she had rushed over to him. She stood in between his legs, and took his face in both of her hands and he immediately wrapped his arms around her waist. Then, she kissed him. It was filled with sheer passion and need. It took him slightly by surprise. He loved that she had let her hair down and he tangled his fingers in it.

When they pulled away, she was still holding his face in her hands and pressed her forehead against his. He could see a slight glassiness in her eyes. He pulled her down so she was sitting in his lap while studying her face to see if he could read what was going through her mind.

"Raf...I..." she closed her eyes for a moment and a small tear slipped out. He didn't speak, he wanted to give her whatever time she needed to be able to say what she needed to. He felt slightly confused because she had said she was fine. When he wiped away the stray tear that had escaped she had opened her eyes again, something burning behind them, making her blue eyes look electric.

"Being with you...you, you stopped me from drowning in a sea of trauma. You never once tried to fix me, just kept my broken pieces together until I could figure out how to heal them with minimal scars. You gave me the space and the comfort I needed to get there on my own. You brought me back to life." She had a look of softness behind her intensity. It was a shining example of the chaos that was Gia Monroe.nShe ran her thumb over his bottom lip as he continued to retain his response so she could say all that she needed to.

"I..." she paused again after the single letter word flowed out like a breath. She closed her eyes for another moment before she continued.

"Rafael, I...tè amo." It was the only way to describe how she truly felt for him. They both knew that those two words when uttered described the most intense and intimate way she could love him. It was something she had never said before.

The expression was never to be used lightly. He had slide his hand so his fingers were in her hair and he kissed her for what felt like the thousandth time that day, but despite the intensity of some of their other kisses, this one was different. He had one arm wrapped around her lower back, his other rested in the bend of her knee. Her right arm was resting around his shoulders, unable to keep herself from touching him.

"I have known that I am in love with you for a long time, I just wouldn't admit it to myself because I knew once I did, I wouldn't be able to hold back from telling you and I didn't want to put the weight of any more emotion on you, good or bad. I started falling in love with you the first time time I heard you laugh. It was the Kenner case." Gia chuckled.

"The guy who fractured his penis during a sexual assault?" She shook her head. Remembering her incredulity over the whole turn of events. Rafael let out a small laugh himself.

"Yes. Never in my years working SVU cases between both offices have I heard a detective laugh like that over the case. You were apologizing, while laughing about the cosmic pay back he was feeling. It had been such a long week, and everyone in that squad room needed the laugh. Your laugh is contagious. I just knew I would do anything to make you laugh, just to be able to hear it again. That was my first step down into falling for you. The list things Iove about you and made me fall in love with you is substantial."

"Well now I want to hear about some of the other steps." She kissed the top of his shoulder and then rested her forehead against the side of his head.

"My first case with SVU, when that belt tightened around my neck, I saw you jump up to come and help me. You had only gotten out of the row you were sitting in when he let go. You stood there, tentatively, until you realized I was okay."

"You were being choked, I couldn't just sit there and do nothing." Once she knew he was okay, his reckless behavior had been so alluring; but at first she was witnessing her greatest fear happening to someone else.

"I fell in love with your mind. You're so much more than smart, there is so much more to your mind than your intellect. You're clever and witty. You’re brilliant. You always try to view things on the other side of the situation. Watching your mind put the pieces of a case together, that look you get on your face when you know you figured it out. The way you talk to yourself out loud when you're working and you think no one is listening." She had placed her free hand over his heart. Rafael wondering if she could feel the pounding beats of it.

"On the vein of your mind and laugh, your sense of humor. The sharp sarcasm, dry witticism, that gallows and inappropriate sense of humor. You make me laugh every day." Gia didn't say anything, she wanted him to keep going. She didn't know she needed the reasons why Rafael loved her until he started listing them.

"Your empathy. The way you care about other people and what they're dealing with, regardless if they have wronged you. You can find empathy for almost any suspect. Finding out why someone is the way they are or why they did something terrible to better understand. You remind us that while causation isn't an excuse, sometimes our perpetrators are also victims."

"The internal strength that you have. Your will to keep pushing forward, regardless of the circumstances. The way you take that part of yourself and use it to help our victims try to get past their trauma." Gia had started lightly brushing her knuckles over the shorter hairs in the back of his head.

"I fell in love with how talented you are. Watching you sketch and how determined you get with whatever it is you're working on. I can still see you, sitting on that bench drawing away, waiting on me to go to breakfast. You didn't see me, so I stood back and just watched you for a moment or two, seeing how working in that sketchbook gave you a few moments of peace."

"I fell in love with you and the chaos you bring." She had furrowed her brow, not knowing if that was truly a compliment. "You truly are like the ocean you love so much. When you feel something, you feel it in a big way. I never know what to expect from you. Sometimes you do what you're supposed to do, other times you throw a wrench in the plan. I love that you keep me on my toes. I have lived a very by the book life. You threw the book out of the window. You don't color inside the lines that are set for you, you move them and color in the picture that you created for yourself." He started tracing the dream catcher tattoo on her thigh.

"Your bravery. The way you faced your brother's...ending...head on. The way you fought for your life in that hallway but also making sure we had evidence if you didn't make it thro...through th...at." The latter part of his statement made his voice crack. He felt Gia cup the back of his head with her hand and kiss his temple, allowing him the few seconds he needed to compose himself.

"The way you walked into that interrogation room to get the answers you hoped for, all while not allowing him to see you break. Regardless of how angry I was, the way you marched into that prison to get the answers you wanted. You don't let anyone see you blink, with the exception of a few people." Gia wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, she didn't want him to get distracted.

"The way you trust me and allow me to be one of the few people that let see you fully, scars and all. Your open and raw with me. The way you let me see a side of you that no one else is allowed to. The way that part of you belongs only with me. You let me into the heavily guarded area of your heart. That is something I will never take advantage of."

She felt her eyes burning, but these tears were not of sadness, anger or frustration. They were the build up of the love that he felt for her being so large it had left no space within her so it had to spill out of her eyes. He placed his hand over the one that was now resting in the middle of his chest.

"There are so many little things too. The way you chew on your lower lip and knowing your headspace by the way you're chewing on it. The curls that slide out if your bun that spiral at your temples, they are so incredibly distracting, especially when you're on the stand. How you send me links to court cases you find interesting or know that will help with whatever I'm working on. Your love for animals and how you cannot help yourself and pet almost every dog that you see and then sending me pictures of said dog. They way you reach out randomly throughout the day to see how I'm doing. When you just show up with coffee when you know I'm in for a long night of work." She closed her eyes with her forehead still resting against the side of his head.

"The way you grip the inside of my elbow when we walk together. The way you let me lead you into a room with my hand on your back. How you sing along with music in the car or when you think you're here alone and shamelessly dance around. The way you taste like bourbon and cherries. The smell of your perfume and how it has embedded itself here. The way you let a book consume you until you're done reading it. You come to all of my arraignments, even if they aren't your case. You show up for me in court whenever you can. Your immense love for all things sweet. The way you search for me when you walk into a room. How your face lights up when you see me after a long day. You rarely let go of a hug first. The way your skin feels against mine. The goosebumps scatter across your skin when I touch your back. The sound and feeling of your pulse pounding when I kiss your neck. The way we fit perfectly together." He laced his fingers with her hand that was underneath his and then lifted it up and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "The way you make this apartment feel like a home."

"Raf...." he stopped her by giving her a searing kiss that rendered her speechless. When he pulled away he ran his hand down the side of her face.

"Tè Amo, para siempre" he whispered to her and then kissed her one more time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia had just come off of a great weekend. One could even say she had a perfect weekend of being in bed with Rafael, eating takeout and watching movies. The only time they left the apartment was for a walk on Sunday in an unusually sunny and warm day in November.

The peacefulness she had felt from that had been decimated by a few voicemails that she finally listened to. A handful from Grayson ranging from anger for hanging up on him and then effectively ignoring him to him begging her for forgiveness and wanting to explain. He had gotten some troubling news that day and had taken it out on her. One from her father pleading with her to call them, call her brother and to show up for Thanksgiving the next week.

Her most favorite voicemail was from her mother berating her for being selfish and acting spoiled. How Grayson needed her support and that she had to stop living in the past. Like Gia didn't wish she could forget? Did she think Gia enjoyed nightmares and PTSD? She lectured her for taking them all for granted and pushing them away. Her mother would never taking ownership of why she pushed them away. The final point of her message was that if she didn't show up for Thanksgiving she and Gia's father would disown her. The threat proved her point about her father. Instead of trying to heal old wounds, he went along with whatever her mother wanted. The older Gia got, the more she saw her father as a coward.

She had thrown her phone down onto her desk and let out a heavy sigh, causing Nick to look up from his work. Gia was pinching the bridge of her nose trying to ward off the headache that was imminent.

"That bad?" Gia nodded.

"If I'm a no show for Thanksgiving I'll be excommunicated from my family. Which part of me is thinking 'Thank God', but the idea of not seeing my Dad again hurts too much. I just don't know how I'm going to survive a whole day with her." Nick tapped his pen against the desk.

"Want Zara and I to come with you? My mom is going to see my sister this year. I mean only if there is space." Gia's face lit up with relief.

"Yes, absolutely. There will be space for the two of you." Maybe her mother would behave if Nick was there.

"What about Barba?" Nick was surprised he wasn't going with her, or Gia with him.

"I don't want the pressure of meeting his mom and grandmother on a holiday. He is going to come to my brother's for a little bit after. Only because my parents are rarely in town." Gia shrugged.

"Well, I'll be there to support you."

"I'm just trying to prepare myself for the barrage of criticism, judgment and gaslighting. Really makes the holidays feel warm and fuzzy." Gia dramatically rolled her eyes. Nick was about to respond but he stood up when he saw a woman walk in.

"Can I help you with something?" She had dark circles under eyes and a slight tremble of her hands.

"I'm looking for Detective Monroe." Gia stood up to get a better look at her. Her chestnut colored hair yanked back into a ponytail. The haunted look in her hazel eyes was all too familiar.

"I'm Detective Monroe." Gia had never seen this woman before in her life. Perhaps she was a friend of a previous victim she had helped.

"I'm Isobel. My sister is Sara Moreno. I was with my niece today and she said how nice you were and how you made her feel safe. I need to talk to you about my sisters and Sara's husband." Gia nodded.

"Why don't you get comfortable in this room and I will be in shortly. I just have to speak with my Captain and the District Attorney assigned to the case." Isobel nodded.

"I don't want to talk to anyone but you." Gia nodded, heading to Cragen's office and asking Nick to call Rafael.

About 20 minutes later, Gia walked into the interview room alone. She knew Nick, Cragen and Rafael were on the other side of the glass listening.

Gia handed Isobel a bottle of water. She noticed how she was fidgeting with her fingers. Once Gia sat down, she pulled out a legal pad to take notes. Isobel took a deep breath trying to steady herself.

"I would have been here sooner, but I was overseas and I couldn't get home right away. Sara is going to be so devastated over Nina's death when she wakes up...if she wakes up." Gia reached out and put her hand over Isobel's to offer her some comfort. She knew this feeling all too well.

"I....I think Isaac had something to do with this." She said it quickly. This was the break that Gia had been hoping for.

"Why is that?" Gia urged her to continue. Isobel seemed scared to say it out loud.

"Isaac he, he had a temper. I've seen the bruises he marked her with. The bloodied lip. The way she would cower slightly any time he moved unexpectedly. Nina and I have been begging her to leave for years. She wouldn't listen, at least up until a few weeks ago. She had been telling Nina how he was being secretive. Coming home later and later. Something just felt off. So I hired a PI." Gia wrote quickly to keep up with Isobel's statement. Waiting for her to give all of the information before asking deeper questions.

"The PI found out that he was having an affair with a woman who is also married. The affair has been going on for over five years, FIVE YEARS. I brought all of the proof to Sara. She was so angry with me for hiring the PI. She threw the file with all of the pictures and information into the fire." Gia's brow was scrunched together. She looked up at Isobel.

"What was the woman's name? What did she look like?" This woman could be exactly what they needed to get enough evidence to arrest Isaac." Isobel put her face in her hands and started to cry.

"I don't know. I had the PI give me the abridged version. It felt too personal for me to read through before Sara did. I thought I owed that to her. I had already delved so deeply into her life without her permission. I wanted her to have the option to tell me what the details"

Gia felt like she could scream as she watched the evidence she needed float away from her. Isobel took a drink of her water before continuing

"I knew that if I looked first, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from trying to protect my baby sister. I would have confronted that woman and Isaac. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. I was afraid if I did that, he would beat her. So I thought ignorance was the best way to go until Sara was ready."

Gia stood up to grab the box of tissues from a table near the door and brought them over to Isobel so she could wipe her eyes and nose.

"I was so stupid. I should have looked! I should have done something... ANYTHING to try and protect her and get her out of that situation. At the very least I would know who to go to for the answers I need."

Isobel slammed her fist on the table. Gia immediately recognized the self-loathing that was pumping through Isobel. It had been almost a constant companion for Gia. Gia's irritation with her deflated. She was trying to do her best in a no win situation. Gia was far too familiar with that feeling she took Isobel's clenched fist into her hands. She felt it relax slightly.

"Isobel, look at me." Isobel had been looking down at the table when she snapped her head up to be able to look Gia in the eyes. The pain radiating in them was evident. It usually came with what felt like a vice grip right in the middle of your chest.

"This is NOT your fault. Do you understand me? You did not do this." Isobel nodded, likely to placate Gia. Gia forged on.

"You were stuck in a this is bad, but that could be much worse scenario. You made what you thought was the best choice at the time. When someone is cheated on, whether it's the husband or wife, it comes with such a wide range of emotions. They feel humiliated, hurt that the person they love could betray them on such a horrible level, then they blame themselves because they think that there is something wrong with them. The fear that if they confront them, they will choose the affair partner."

Isobel was listening intently, having someone absolve her of that guilt must have been freeing. It was so easy to take the blame for other people and their wrong doings. Isobel squeezed Gia's hand to encourage her to continue the words she so desperately needed to hear.

"After all of that, then they have to decide on whether or not they want to confront their cheating partner or ignore it. If the cheater wants to work things out, they have to decide between staying or leaving. If they stay, can they heal the relationship or will they never be able to trust them again. If they leave, it's starting life over. For your sister that also included her child and what was best for her. I know your sister didn't work, so she also had to worry about how she would financially take care of herself and her daughter. She wasn't ready to make any of those decisions when you gave her that file. She likely thought burning it to ash would make it not real. NONE of that is on you. You made the admirable choice."

Rafael watched Gia's face intently. That speech was personal. Had someone cheated on her? Had she been betrayed that badly? How would he bring something like that up? He adjusted his focus back to Isobel. They needed a better reason to get warrants to dig into him. Isobel was giving Gia her gratitude, but he knew Gia was about to go digging for more information. He could see it on her face.

"Isobel, he was clearly leading a separate life, pretty successfully if it was at least five years and going. Why would he have your sister attacked?" Isobel closed her eyes for a moment before answering Gia's question.

"They had gotten into an argument. He must have not cared if he wasn't as secretive about it. He got home really late one evening and she demanded to know where he had been. She told me that she had mentioned to him that she knew about the affair. Demanded that he end it. The way she looked the next day...it was the worst I had ever seen it. What made it worse was that Giselle came out to try and help Sara and he back handed her and she slammed against the wall."

Gia covered her mouth in horror. Giselle was this tiny little girl and her father was muscular and strong. A slap like that could have seriously injured her.

"After he went to work, she called me over. The black and blue marks around her neck, the swollen and bruised eye. Marks all over her body. Then little Giselle, she...she..." Isobel started sobbing again. Gia tried soothing her as best as she could. She continued once she settled down enough.

"Giselle had a bruise on her face and her lip had split on the side. She had bruises on her arm from where it smacked against the doorway of the wall she was sent flying into. That was the final straw for Sara. She knew she had to get out, but we had to be smart about it. She started pulling out extra cash when she went to the grocery store so Isaac hopefully wouldn't notice. She needed enough money to last her a bit until she and Giselle could get to me. I live out in Washington. My husband and I are financially stable enough to help take care of her. Once the divorce went through, she would get whatever was allocated in the prenup. I didn't care about that. I would have supported the two of them for the rest of my life to make sure they survived." Gia rubbed the center of her forehead in circular motions while she gathered her thoughts.

"Did she ever file a police report, try for a restraining order?" Isobel sighed.

"No. She tried to once, but the officer she spoke to was incredibly unhelpful and basically discouraged her from coming forward, insinuating it was her fault or it couldn't have been that bad since she didn't call 9-1-1." She pulled a thumb drive out of her pocket and put it on the table. Gia gave her a questioning look.

"There are pictures of bruises and injuries with dates and descriptions. There is a video of the last time he beat her up. Nina put some hidden cameras up. When we got this on video, we removed the cameras so he wouldn't find them and started the plan to get her out with Giselle. Once she was safe, file for divorce and primary custody." Gia sat back in her seat for a moment.

"Okay Isobel, what happened? How did Nina end up dead and your sister attacked, assaulted and almost murdered?" Gia asked, already having a theory in her head, but she wanted to know what Isobel thought.

"I think he found out what we were planning. He made a big show of him going away for work. He got her this spa package as an apology from an establishment where he knows the owners." Gia made a note to check all of the local spas for wherever her appointment was supposed to be. Anyone that could shed light on who the hell Isaac Moreno was.

"It was the perfect time for her to disappear. We didn't want him to suspect something was off. So, we planned for Sara to go to the spa just in case he checked in with the owners to see if Sara showed up. We didn't want him to come back early. He urged her to have Giselle spend the night with Nina so she would have some alone time and then a relaxing day at the spa. That night, Nina went to pick up Giselle. She was there for a while I guess, helping Sara get ready for the next day. The plan was for her to pack the things they would need to leave, I don't know what happened. I never heard from Nina. She was supposed to call when she got Giselle to her house."

Nina started to cry again. Gia wished she could take away Isobel's pain for her. The pain she was feeling was so similar to what Gia had been through. She hated to see anyone else going through something like this.

"First thing, why didn't you call that PI and ask him for another copy of the file on the affair?" That was the first glaring issue at hand.

"I tried calling him, he never picked up and then all the sudden his number was out of service. His name was Michael Burns." Gia nodded and wrote n his name down and asked for the disconnected number.

"How do you think Isaac knew about your plan?" Nina wiped her eyes again and sniffed.

"I think he bugged the apartment, or her phone." Gia sat for a moment, her head racing.

"So, you think that he wanted Nina to get Giselle out of the house to set Sara up so Giselle would be safe. Why would he trust Nina to give her back?"

"I don't know."

"Nina ended up dead because she was there longer than Isaac anticipated or he wanted her dead too. But here is the question, who did it? There was no sign of a break in. Whoever came to the door to carry out the attack had to be someone they knew for the door to be opened. And what about Giselle? Did the attacker know she was in the house somewhere and hope she didn't say anything?" Gia knew Isobel didn't have the answers, but she was interested in any theory she had.

"I...I don't know." Isobel was still crying. Gia pushed her too much, it was time to back off.

"No, no, it's okay Isobel. I was just thinking out loud. Questions that we need to answer, not you. This has been so incredibly helpful. We didn't have much to go on. Now, we have a place to look. Take a deep breath, okay?" Isobel breathed in and out, slowly calming herself down.

"How is Giselle doing?" Gia was curious how all of this would play out for her.

"She is doing as well as we can expect. She is with my parents now. She didn't want to go to The Finger Lakes. She wanted to be close to her mother and father." Gia nodded.

"How is Sara?" Gia's was tentative in that question. Isabel swiped at her eyes to push away any stray tears.

"She's not getting worse, for right now, the doctors are thrilled with that. They will start scaling back on her sedation likely tomorrow." That sent alarm bells off in Gia's head.

"Isobel, make sure there is someone else there with Isaac. If her attacker was someine she knew..." Gia didn't have to finish her sentence.

"Either one of my parents or my brother has been there. I'll be in the rotation. I had to tell them what was going on." Gia reached into the pocket of her jacket and handed Isobel her card.

"Listen to me, you think of anything, anything at all, you call me. Even if you think it's nothing, it might be something. If Giselle says anything at all. Let me know." Isobel took her card while she nodded her head in agreement.

"C'mon, let me get someone to drive you wherever you need to go." Gia signaled to one of the uniformed officers.

"Thank you, Detective Monroe. For listening to me and for taking care of Giselle. She can't stop talking about you. Maybe you could stop and see her? I think it would help her." Gia was touched that she had made such an impact on the little girl. Isobel handed Gia piece of paper with her phone number on it.

"I will. I'll give you a call." Isobel took Gia by surprise when she hugged her.

"Thank you, truly." Isobel said one more time before she followed the officer out the door.

Gia walked back into the interview room and Nick, Cragen and Rafael were seated waiting for her. She sat down next to Nick, across from Rafael.

"So, Detective, what is our next play?" Cragen directed his question to Gia.

"Me? I'm on desk duty. I'm not even the lead on this case." Gia's eyebrows shot up.

"As of right now, you're officially off desk duty. Nick was the lead on this case, but he agrees it should be you." Gia looked over at Nick.

"W- Why?"

"Gia, the family trust you, on both sides. Our prime suspect is grateful for you taking care of his daughter. You are the one that got it right. Your intuition was spot on as usual. This is your case." Gia sat back for a moment, her mind racing.

"I don't want Isaac to know we're on to him yet. No warrants, no arrests. I want the chance to talk to him myself, when he's not expecting it so he doesn't have curated answers. Once I get what I want from the bastard, then we go in. I want to catch him early in the morning. First thing is finding that PI that found out about the affair and get the info on what he found out."

"You let me know when you want those warrants. We have enough now. Walk me out?" Rafael asked her, she nodded, grabbing the thumb drive on the table and shoving it into her pocket.

When they made it outside, Rafael turned to her. He was glad to see there wasn't panic brewing in her eyes.

"You feel up to this? You can say no if you aren't ready." She smiled at him, appreciative of his concern.

"I do feel up to it. It will feel good to put this bastard away." She meant it. She felt ready. It felt good to feel like she was back in the drivers seat of her life.

"I'll see you at home in a few hours or are we meeting at my office?" She took a deep breath.

"At home. I need to make a stop first." Rafael gave her a questioning look. "I need to go and see my brother."

#rafael barba #law and order svu imagine #rafael barba imagine #svu #rafael barba x detective #rafael barba x oc #svu imagine #law and order svu #svu fic #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fic #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba smut #barba svu #law & order #law and order fanfiction

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saiilorstars · 22 days ago

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Ch. 63: Behind the Curtains

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @averyhotchner @abzidabzy @hellofutur @foxesandmagic @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989 @midmourn @choosejoyangel @rebeccapineapple @duckybird101 @caplanbuckybarnes

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message

Author's Note:

I just want to thank everyone who's been reaching out about this story. The amount of comments I get on this particular fic is so amazing. So many people are invested in this story and ask me when I'll be updating again. I really love all YOUR love for this story so I've gone back to keep writing more chapters for this (I think you'll r e a ll y love the next chapter btw, it's got some good angst ;)). Again, thank you soooo much!

Olivia would only be surprised with Rafael's sudden visit to the precinct for about five minutes. It was completely him to pull this kind of stunt when he still had plenty of time to rest before returning to work. She was guilty of doing the same thing in the past.

"You know you're supposed to be resting, right? Like in a bed and in a room...?" Olivia closed her office door then went to help Rafael reach the couch, an action he shooed her away for.

"Officially, I am at home," he replied, managing to sit on his own with no problem. Olivia liked to see the good sign.

"Officially?" she raised an eyebrow at him. "How'd you pull this one?" There was no way in hell that Montserrat would allow this if she knew.

"Montserrat's got a therapy session and I told her my mother was coming over anyways. She won't ever know that I was here if you help me out..." To his credit, Rafael did seem genuinely guilty when he explained himself.

"I see…" Olivia nodded as she took a seat on the couch beside him.

"I hate it, I know," Rafael said, as if Olivia was reproaching him for his lie. He hated himself for lying to Montserrat. She had been nothing but helpful and so concerned about him. He hated doing this... "I needed to talk to you without her around."

"I could have just as easily gone to see you. There's no need to push yourself more than you have to right now."

"Now you're sounding like Montserrat."

"Well, you know, she kind of has a point."

"She usually always does," sighed Rafael, "Lucky for me, the peanut gallery wasn't out there," he made a nod at the bullpen.

"There's an ongoing case," Olivia explained the absence of her squad. "So, how are you?"

Rafael raised a hand at her and shook it. "I'm not here for me. I want to know about the case." He had a limited window here and wanted to use every minute he had.

"But you also need to take care of yourself," Olivia said, and Rafael rolled his eyes at her. "You were shot — there were moments where we thought you weren't going to make it. Speaking from my experience, you have your own issues to handle too."

"I understand, but I promise that I'm okay," Rafael said, "I'm not traumatized — I have seen worse."

"What's worse than getting shot?" Olivia said incredulously.

"Not knowing when the person responsible will finally go after his real target: the woman that I love." Rafael had maintained a straight face when he responded, not even fazed with the gaping look on Olivia's face.

"Uh…okay…" Olivia tried her darn best to get past the vital information she just learned, for the sake of her two very good friends and the circumstances that were surrounding them. "Well…officially, the case has gone cold…"

"But unofficially?"

"Unofficially, we're still working it."

"And who's this 'we'?" Rafael demanded.

Olivia let it slide because she knew how troubled he must be with zero answers in his pocket. "Finn. I trust him completely and he won't say anything to anyone."

Rafael could agree with that choice. "So…no one else knows, then?"

Olivia shook her head. "Carisi, Rollins and Amaro think the case is cold and even though we knew beforehand that it looked like a hit, none of them will say anything to Montserrat."

"They better not," Rafael said warningly, "Because that's the last thing she needs right now. I already talked to Clara too so that we have the same story."

"And she's okay with that?" Olivia had only spoken to Clara a few times and sent her right to a counselor because the young girl had been terrified about what happened.

"Yeah," nodded Rafael, "So we can get back to work on this quickly, please."

"We can't rush these things, Rafa," Olivia reminded him, "The case isn't 'cold' but it's not very open either. There's not much to go off by."

"I know that but we can't stop looking either," Rafael said, "Because I know that this was one of the last blows before he goes after what he really wants."

Olivia didn't want to openly admit that Rafael was right. She had worked SVU for too long to not know the usual patterns criminals — including rapists — exhibited. It just so happened that this criminal was waiting a bit longer than usual. She detested that in this situation, what the man wanted was her friend. The ultimate target was Montserrat, and she had no idea about it.

In all the time that Olivia spent thinking silently, Rafael had not stopped looking at her. He was waiting for her to admit it because once it was out in the open they could move on and work towards the solution. It was the only way they could continue to work. His insides twisted each time he thought about that man.

That man wanted Montserrat. He thought about her like he had some claim on her. He thought she belonged to him.

"We need to find this guy," Rafael said, his jaw clenched, "Fast."

Olivia sensed the growing anger and so treaded carefully. "We have to be smart about this—"

"I know—"

"—because according to the little that we have—"

"I know."

"—there's no reports of any Daniel in the black market."

"I know, Olivia!" Rafael exclaimed. "But we have to at least try to keep searching!" Olivia remained calm in the face of his anger. "Because I know he's going to do something else soon. We already got lucky once—"

"Lucky?" Olivia repeated, her brows raising incredulously. "I don't know if I have to keep reminding you but you got shot," she gestured at him, "That's not 'lucky' in any book."

"You know what I meant," Rafael snapped.

"I don't think I did…"

"Olivia, please. Help me. Help me help her — because that's all that matters here. She is the only thing that matters here!"

Olivia nodded slowly. "I know, and you have to know that I will do anything I can to keep Montserrat safe. At the same time, though, I'd like to make sure you are also safe."

"I will be just fine," Rafael promised. "All I want is to be working on this case. This is the most important case I've ever dealt with. Nothing can be left to chance."

Olivia would have liked to point out that if this case actually went to trial, Rafael would not be allowed to prosecute it. He wouldn't be allowed anywhere near it. She suspected that he may have either chosen to forget it or he was filing it under 'deal with later'.

"Well, looking into the details, I can tell you right now that we don't have a lot," Olivia repeated, sighing, "The guy who shot you—"

"It wasn't Daniel," Rafael said immediately, waving a hand dismissively. "He was just a hired hitman."

"Okay, right," nodded Olivia, "but that guy was wearing a mask. Clara wasn't able to give anything unique about the guy. Could you?"

"No," Rafael muttered, "He was all covered up. If I heard his voice again, I'd be able to recognize him."

"How about we start small then," Olivia's suggestion was met with a blatant rejection.

"We can't do that, not when we have a clear path," Rafael said, prompting Olivia to ask what he had in mind. "Let's go after the one clear name we do have."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. "Who's name do we have?" she asked, puzzled.

Rafael didn't think twice with his answer. "Hallie D'Amico."

Olivia's eyes widened, her mouth opening with shock. "I know you were shot but are you insane?" She stood up from the couch, taking a few steps away to contemplate such an absurd idea.

Rafael took the opportunity to lean back on the couch and adjust his position to ease his side. It didn't hurt as much as it used to, although Montserrat loved to exaggerate. "I've thought about it, Liv—"

"Oh, really?" Olivia spun around, shooting him a sharp look. "So I bet you told Montserrat about this already?"

Rafael's silence was answer enough.

"Rafael, c'mon, what are you thinking!?"

"Of course I wasn't going to tell her!" Rafael exclaimed. "Because I know exactly what she's going to say—"

"That you're crazy?" Olivia tilted her head. "Gotta say, I might have to agree with her on that one."

"Olivia—"

"Visiting Hallie D'Amico in prison is a crazy idea!"

"Oli—"

"She's in jail for a reason, she's not going to give up Daniel—"

"Liv!" Rafael yelled over Olivia's words to get her attention. He looked at her sharply. "I know that my idea isn't easy, but it is the most logical. If this were any other case, one of you would have already coined the idea. Lie to me and say I'm wrong."

Olivia wouldn't take his challenge but she didn't want to admit that he was right either. She shook her head and started pacing. "This wouldn't work," she said, sounding like she was starting to consider the idea. "Montserrat testified against her. Hallie knows that Montserrat was a UC — for all we know, she could have put the hit on you as revenge."

"No," Rafael said on the spot, "I know it was Daniel. I know it was him."

Olivia sighed and stopped pacing, looking at Rafael with a certain sympathy. "I know this is hard for you—"

"Don't," Rafael warned her to stop, "Don't…don't do the empathy talk."

"That's not what I'm doing—"

"It's what you always do for the victims. I know you, Liv," Rafael said, "And you don't need to do that with me. Montserrat's told me about this woman and I've looked into her case. D'Amico went down for drug trafficking but there was never any sexual assault accusations about her ring."

"A drug dealer with some scruples? Am I supposed to congratulate her on that?"

"I'm not saying she should get a medal but it does go to say that she has something against those kinds of crimes," Rafael said, shrugging, "That's a line she didn't cross. Montserrat said that she confided in D'Amico about Daniel's advances towards her and that D'Amico tried moving Montserrat away from him."

Olivia hadn't known about that detail and as such became interested. She slowly returned to her seat on the couch, listening attentively.

"We could believe for a moment that D'Amico wouldn't stand for that kind of stuff from her own ring — the fact is that she's in jail and Daniel is in possession of her work." Rafael smirked widely. "If we piss her off the right way, she'll give us his full name and we build a case from there."

Olivia always knew that Rafael was a fantastic prosecutor making cases and arguments, but this one took the cake. He took a crazy idea and morphed it into the only logical, sensible thing to do. She let out a long sigh and leaned back on the couch. "If Montserrat finds out about this…she's going to shoot us both."

"Well, I already got shot and you're her boss so we might get off with a warning," Rafael shrugged. "Me, probably a smack — and you a stink eye."

Olivia couldn't believe that was his argument; she laughed. Hearing her laugh, made Rafael laugh. For a split moment, they were friends just saying nonsense.

~ 0 ~

Montserrat was livid when she returned to the apartment and found it empty. "Oh, if you weren't dead before you will be now!" she said as soon as Rafael walked in through the door.

"I'm sorry," he apologized with a little smile, "I couldn't help it." Things ran a little later at the precinct than he had expected, but it was all for a good reason. He and Olivia were working to find the right moment to visit D'Amico. He wanted to be present, despite Olivia's reluctance, and so that meant he would have to find an opportunity to get away from Montserrat. That was the major problem at the moment.

"You lied to me," Montserrat accused, striding over to him, immediately looking him over, "You're not supposed to be out on the streets yet."

"Calmate," Rafael said, resting his hands on her arms, "Calm down. I just went to the office. I had to, I'm sorry, but I had to."

"No, you didn't," Montserrat sighed, "But that's what I get for daring to believe you'd be intelligent about this stuff."

"Intelligent?" Rafael frowned. "Are you implying that I'm stupid?"

Montserrat smiled as she innocently pressed out his shoulders. "Because I said that I was going to be nicer while you're injured, I won't answer that...right now."

Rafael deadpanned her for a long while. "Strangely, that wasn't a nice answer either."

Montserrat's smile widened. "Where the hell did you go?"

"I already told you — the office. I have cases that are piling up."

"No," Montserrat said sharply, "Those cases are being handled by a substitute prosecutor. You, my dear, have no reason to be at that office right now. I don't want you exerting yourself."

"I promise you that I'm not," Rafael said, bringing his hands to her face, "Just doing a walk here and there. Besides, you promised me that you wouldn't get so worked up about me picking up a few cases here and there."

"From home," Montserrat reminded him. "We agreed that you could work from here."

"Right, but I still needed to pick some things up," Rafael said, and dealt with the less than believing gaze Montserrat had on him. She was too smart for her own good and in this case, he really needed her to not be anything close to that. "C'mon," he insisted, "I stopped by and saw Liv too. Had a nice normal conversation. Distractions, you know?"

Montserrat shook her head disapprovingly. "You know what? Let's just move on before you give me gray hairs — oh, and by the way—" She had just pointed at Rafael when he warned her to stop right there. Montserrat laughed right in his face. "It's alright, you only have a couple—"

"Montserrat!"

"Kidding! But I mean, I think you'd look very nice with a few gray hairs here and there."

Rafael rolled his eyes. "You know what? I'm actually very tired. Whether I like to admit it or not, the walking and moving altogether did exhaust me a bit."

Montserrat dropped the laughs and jokes when he said that. "Are you—?"

"I'm okay," Rafael cut her off, knowing damn well her concerns had returned in a second. "Just tired, that's all."

"Do you want to go rest?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I think I actually do. Turn in early."

"Okay—"

"With you."

Montserrat blinked and slowly started to smile. Her entire body relaxed within minutes. "Okay," she nodded, "I like that idea."

They left their things in the living room, Rafael being very careful not to leave his "paperwork" out in the open where Monsterrat could accidentally come across it. He would come back for it later when she was asleep.

~ 0 ~

"You know I talked to your mother earlier. I bumped into her at the grocery store," Montserrat confessed once they were settled in bed. She snuggled up to Rafael's side, careful not to hurt him in the process.

Rafael groaned. "Oh God, what did she say now?" He could just see his mother being nitty-gritty about the things Montserrat picked up in the store.

"Nothing," Montserrat chuckled. "She's been real good to me ever since we brought you home from the hospital. I mean, she has her moments but it's been okay overall."

"She better be." Rafael was not afraid to have another go with his mother. Although, he was glad that the first "go" had been successful. He didn't like arguing with her either. "So, if she wasn't being mean, what did she say?"

"She asked about you, how you were doing and all that stuff. She also mentioned that you haven't called her once since you left the hospital." Montserrat tilted her head up to look at him. "Says maybe I'm distracting you."

"And there it is…" Rafael had to draw in a breath to ease himself. Of course his mother would say stupid nonsense like that, especially if he wasn't around. "I'm sorry," he said, sighing.

Montserrat chuckled. "Don't worry about it. She caught me off guard but it's nothing." Course she wouldn't tell him how she reacted at the store, how her been a sputtering mess for five minutes right in public. "I told her you were just resting most of the time."

"I'm still going to talk to her," Rafael decided, because knowing his mother this wouldn't be the last time a comment like that left her mouth.

"Your choice," Montserrat shrugged. She rested her head on his chest again, beginning to feel the wisps of sleep coming for her. "Also called my dad."

"Oh, and how'd that go?" Rafael heard Montserrat's faint intake of breath. He moved his hand on her back, gently rubbing up and down.

"Okay," Montserrat yawned, "Wants to have dinner with us soon."

"We still haven't done that," Rafael actually laughed. It hurt less now. "Seems like we've been planning that for ages now."

"I know," Montserrat mused, "Maybe we can make it a dinner/'you're all better' celebration? That way we can invite everyone, not just my family?"

"Would be a lot better for me…" Rafael said, thinking it over. It would at least give him excuses to talk to Olivia and Fin about the ongoing case. "I like it," he decided. "We can do it this week, if you want."

Montserrat scoffed. "Nice try. You're still out from work for at least another month."

"You really want me to stay on the couch all day, huh? You realize you're going to have to sustain my lifestyle, right?"

Montserrat rolled her eyes at him.

"I mean — I like expensive scotch, you know that. And there always has to be sweets in the cabinet and let's not mention—"

"If you value your life, you'll go to sleep right now."

Rafael laughed to himself. "So much for my lovely nurse."

"Be quiet."

Rafael held Montserrat closer to him. He suspected that she had no idea just how much he actually loved her. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head. "Thank you for everything."

Montserrat thought his sudden gratitude was questionable — perhaps it was a tactic to appease her when she sounded so annoyed by him?

"I really don't know what I would do without you," Rafael continued, absent-mindedly running his fingers up and down Montserrat's back.

"Are you okay?" She had to ask. She shifted her head enough to catch his eye.

Rafael smiled at her. "I can't tell you 'thank you' without you questioning my health?"

A bashful smile crossed Montserrat's face. "Sorry, you're just not very talkative sometimes which is quite the contradiction to you when you're at work."

"You always say that I have a big mouth."

"Yeah, to give sass and snark, but you're not exactly the kind to talk about, you know, feelings and stuff like that."

"I know," Rafael sighed, admitting defeat to that one. "And I should be more but—"

"It's alright," Montserrat chuckled lightly, "I like the way you are. And even though sometimes you don't say the words, you do what you want to say. I understand your language and I love it. Just like I love you."

Everything she said just confirmed what Rafael already knew and felt. He felt so lucky with her at his side. "And I love you." He pressed a kiss on her forehead but Montserrat beat him to it and instead kissed him on the lips. Much sweeter indeed.

He wished he could move more easily to kiss her more but it just wasn't possible.

Montserrat pulled away from him wearing another smile. "You should rest now."

Rafael didn't take her suggestion with the most enthusiasm. She laughed in response. She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him again. She could honestly kiss him for hours but alas, he had to rest and like the good nurse that she was, she drew away again.

"Sleep," she patted a hand on his chest. "Now."

"Something tells me it's not a suggestion," Rafael said, feigning suspicion.

"Mm, smart man," Montserrat wagged a finger at him.

"Stay with me?"

"Always." Montserrat snuggled closer to him and rested her head on his chest. She would end up falling asleep with him in no time.

#ocapp #fd: svu #svu #rafael barba fics #rafael barba imagines #rafael barba x oc #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba fanfiction #svu fics #svu imagines #svu fic #svu fanfiction #svu imagine #rafael barba fic #oc: montserrat novak #fic: dare to forget me #ochub #allaboutocs

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yougotthat-write · 1 year ago

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Oui(ji) Had One Hell of a Party (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Word Count: 2,758

Warnings: Ouiji board, spirits, demons, language, alcohol consumption, dumb costumes for all yo faves lmao

Summary: You and Rafael host a Halloween party and it takes a demonic turn.

Author’s Note: This was started probably almost 3 years ago (big oof). I've lost the writing bug so I'm posting what was written and promptly unfinished, lol. Apologies but I still hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3 here!

✶⭑✡⭑✶⭑✡⭑✶⭑✡⭑✶⭑✡⭑✶⭑✡⭑✶

Rafael Barba wouldn’t call himself a superstitious person.

He didn’t believe in ghouls, ghosts, and monsters in the typical way that small children would. He was an A.D.A. for Manhattan so he obviously came across fellow humans who did gruesome and unforgivable things, but when you had pulled out that stupid ten dollar Ouiji board that you had bought at the stupid Halloween store, Rafael may had sent a quick prayer up to whichever Lord was occupying the skies above him at that very moment.

His Catholic upbringing was trying to pound its way out of him and it made him down the rest of his scotch in one swallow before stepping over to his bar area to pour himself another drink. The low hum of your Halloween playlist mixed with the chatter of Rafael’s friends from the courthouse and your friends from the 16th precinct.

You sat on your living room floor, hunched over your coffee table, setting up the toy that would allow you to talk to those who had passed on. Sonny shifted on his feet as he stood next to Rafael. Remembering that Sonny was raised very Catholic as well, Rafael figured that this was making Sonny feel stupid for being uncomfortable with a children’s toy just as much as him.

The sound of your hands connecting together in a singular clap made Rafael’s grip tighten around his glass. He looked over at you and saw the “spooky” smile you were trying to give to everyone. The party had died down in the past couple of hours. Olivia Benson and Nick Amaro had gone home because of their kids. Fin Tutuola had gone home because “Halloween is whack! I don’t even like candy.” The rest of the guests had filed out after them in the passing hours.

Now, Sonny Carisi, Amanda Rollins, Rita Calhoun, and Trevor Langan were scattered around the living room. Sonny was next to Rafael, both of the boys standing farthest away from the direct line to demons. Sonny started to get so nervous that his fake mustache for his Sonny Bono costume wouldn’t stick to his upper lip. His counterpart and designated Cher was Amanda. She sat on the floor on the opposite side of you at the coffee table. She held the planchette in her hand, looking at the object with a smirk. Her long brunette wig was tossed to the side next to her.

Rita Calhoun downed another orange Jell-O shot before falling back onto the couch behind Amanda with a sigh. She pulled her long and obnoxious Devil tail from under her and held it in her fingers as she watched you read the directions for the Ouija board. Her Devil horns were slightly crooked on her head but she didn’t seem to notice or care.

Trevor Langan had ditched his obnoxious black cape twenty minutes into the party. He ditched the phony plastic fangs even sooner. His hair was quaffed upwards and if it wasn’t for the dark liner around his eyes and the fake blood on the corner of his mouth, he would look like he was ready for a day at work with his dress shirt, black slacks, and polished shoes.

Rafael would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a bit authoritative in his twenty dollar policeman costume, but he mainly did it to see the annoyed reactions of the 16th precinct detectives. Fin Tutuola had quipped, “Your badge is so cute and tiny, Barba. You got a fake gun too?” Nick Amaro had rolled his eyes so hard at the fellow Latino man that you thought they would roll right out of his pretty little head. Despite you being a fellow 16th precinct detective, you happily supported your boyfriend with finding the policeman outfit that fit his body in all the right places.

Trevor had rolled his eyes when you suggested pulling out the Ouija board but didn’t outwardly object to it like Sonny had. Trevor made his way over to Rafael and Sonny, grabbing a deep red Jell-O shot. He shot it back and then chuckled at Sonny’s uneasy face. But Trevor didn’t miss the uneasiness that was coming from Rafael.

“Scared boys?” The defense lawyer asked with a grin. Sonny scowled over at Langan.

“Shut up,” Sonny muttered. Feeling hot, Sonny pulled the brunette wig off his head. “I just don’t think we should mess with Lucifer and his minions.” Sonny’s Adam apple bobbed. “If Ma finds out about this, she’ll have the church exorcize me.”

Trevor stifled his snort with his hand. “It’s a kids game, Carisi. The box says ages six and up.”

Sonny grumbled under his breath before making his way over to the couch and plopping down next to Rita with a sigh. Rita pouted over at the detective, reaching up and pinching his pink cheek. “Don’t worry Sonny, the Devil is already here and she’s feeling pretty tipsy.” Sonny let out a nervous laugh before leaning out of Rita’s grip and rubbing his sore cheek.

Trevor’s attention was drawn back to the quiet prosecutor next to him. Rafael felt Trevor’s gaze as he lifted his newly poured drink to his lips.

One gulp. Two gulps. Three gulps.

Trevor leaned towards Rafael, “What are you so scared of Barba?” Rafael shot a look over to Trevor.

“There’s nothing to be scared of.”

“Exactly.�� Trevor slapped a hand onto Rafael’s shoulder and pushed him over towards the coffee table.

Looking up from the directions, you smiled at Rafael as he was ushered into the living room by Trevor. The pair of fake handcuffs that hung off Rafael’s belt jingled when Trevor’s large hands pushed Rafael down next to you. Rafael swore under his breath in Spanish to the man before Trevor went and perched himself onto the arm of the couch next to Sonny.

“I think we have it set up,” you say over to your boyfriend. Rafael nods subtlety before catching the gaze of Amanda sitting across from him. She watched Rafael from under her lashes and the corner of her mouth twitched up. Looking more head on at the two of you, she slid the planchette onto the board.

The intricate piece of wood was shaped in a triangle with rounded edges. In the center, a small dome of glass made it easy to see whatever was under the planchette when it would be slid around the board.

Rafael wouldn’t tell you — or anyone in the room for that matter — that he did not and would not touch that thing willingly. You grabbed the planchette and placed it in the middle of the board. The intricate letters and numbers were bold and taunting. Rafael swallowed the jumble of nerves trying to push their way up his throat.

He jumped slightly when you touched his arm to motion him to place his fingers next to yours. Taking a moment too long, Trevor cupped a hand around one corner of his mouth and boomed, “Scared of some ghosts, Barba?” Rafael shot another look over to Langan before you grabbed his hands.

Your hands brought comfort to him. They were warm as you guided his fingers over to the planchette and when you lightly knocked your shoulder into his, you whispered out, “Don’t be scared, hon. I’ll protect you,” your left eye dropped down into a wink and while Rafael rolled his own at your retort, it did make him more relaxed.

You motioned for Amanda to do the same. She reached out both of her pointer and middle fingers and found a spot on one of the planchette sides. Amanda spoke quietly, “What should we ask first?”

Carisi’s mouth twisted as he bit down on the inside of his cheek. Rita let out a loud hum, twirling the end of her tail in her hand. “Don’t you have to ask if there’s anyone here in the first place?”

“Yeah, let’s see what we’re cooking with,” Trevor jumped in. He was able to reach over to the side table to grab another Jello-O shot, passing one over the top of Carisi’s head over to Rita who grinned devilishly.

You let out a shaky breath — which threw off Rafael for a split second — and said, “Is there a spirit with us?” While a silence fell over the group, waiting for something, Sonny’s lips moved quickly and quietly as he mouthed a prayer.

You spoke again, more firmly, “Is there anyone who would like to speak with us today?” Amanda’s eyes went from the planchette, to you, to Rafael, back to you, and then back to the planchette. Rafael’s fingers twitched on the planchette, wanting to bring them back close to him, to his body. Or even to intertwine with your own fingers.

Despite the mellow hum of your playlist, there was a long and still silence between everyone in the room. Rita had stilled her tail twirling. Trevor’s mouth straightened into a thin line, eyebrow arched up. Sonny’s hands were clasped together in between his thighs. Amanda had squared her shoulders and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck trickle. Rafael’s mouth opened to say something — he wasn’t sure what he was going to say — but then he felt it in his fingers.

Rafael’s eyes are hard and locked onto the planchette. His fingers twitched as he felt the piece of wood slightly move diagonally away from him and over to the corner of the board where an intricately drawn YES was. When the word made itself at home under the glass dome in the middle of the planchette, Carisi’s voice was shaking, “That’s not funny Amanda,” the Brooklyn man scolded his coworker.

A noise came from Amanda in regards to Sonny’s accusation and when Rafael’s looked over at you under his lashes, you were already looking over at Amanda with a furrowed brow. Amanda felt your gaze on her and when she finally looked up from the planchette, she rolled her eyes, “Fine…fine.” Her hands lifted up in surrender and she scrunched her nose.

“See, nothing to be scared of Sonny,” Trevor snickered, fingers coming to pinch the top of Sonny’s ear. Sonny shouldered the brunette away, brows furrowed in annoyance and mouth lopsided into a frown.

“Bite me, Langan.”

“Be careful what you wish for, Carisi,” Trevor shot back just before shooting back another Jello shot. This one was green.

Rafael was silently thanking Amanda from across the table. Hands brought back close to his being, Rafael let out the breath he was holding. He shivered when you scolded Amanda, “Gimme your fingers and don’t joke about, Amanda.”

Amanda let out a huff of air at your tone. “Alright, okay. Calm down.”

Amanda reached out her fingers again and settled them onto her designated spot on the planchette. You copied her and when Rafael didn’t follow suit, you and Amanda looked over at the lawyer. Rafael felt the room shift over to his attention. He felt stuffy in his cheap police uniform. Glancing over at you, he caught your eyes and he silently pleaded.

You didn’t react for a moment until finally, you silently let him off the hook with the smooth transition of reeling in Langan to put his money where his mouth is. Rafael got up from his spot, maybe a bit too quickly, and went over to where Langan was previously heckling from on the couch. Rafael’s legs were jelly and he was happy to plop down onto the couch, grabbing a Jello shot. He swallowed it down too fast to even acknowledge the color of it.

Trevor Langan dramatically rolled his eyes when you beckon him to substitute in for the demon summoning. But he gladly strolled his way over and sat down next to you on the floor. You had to scooch over a bit to make room for Trevor’s long legs and overall more lankier body. He rubbed his hands together and gave a grin before planting his fingers onto the planchette. “Let’s get this show on the road, ladies!”

Amanda and you exchanged looks before your fingers found their spots. The room went quiet again. Nobody noticed it, but the music had stopped in the middle of a song. Rita found herself needing to rest her eyes as playing with a Ouiji board doesn’t really help overly drunk people stay awake. Her head rested against the shoulder of a rigid Carisi. He didn’t seem to notice the extra weight on him.

“I’ll ask the questions this time since cops aren’t too good with questioning suspects,” Trevor quipped. Amanda glared over at the lawyer. You ignored Trevor and shifted your gaze over to the board. “Hello spirits, demons, and devils–” Rita mumbled out a noise of acknowledgement, eyes still closed, snuggling more into Carisi’s shoulder. Carisi fought the urge to shrug her off because he didn’t want to be rude but he wasn’t in a particular cuddly mood. Trevor continued, “Are you here with us?”

Rafael felt a coldness in the apartment. He noticed the lack of music as the group stayed quiet. Sonny felt his neck get prickly, the hair standing up and a shiver rolled up his back. If Rita was more sober, she probably could have felt it.

“Spir—“ Trevor’s voice started but it was cut off by a yelp from someone as the room went dark, the snap of electricity confirming so.

“Oh, Mother Theresa!” Sonny’s voice was sharp and trembling. Rita let out a hum in question before opening her eyes. The air was rigid and cold. Rafael was quick to jump onto his feet in one swift motion. You blinked quickly, trying to get your eyes to adjust to the darkness.

Slowly but surely, you were able to make out shapes in the room. You were about to call out to Rafael when there was a sharp shriek. It started out high in its caliber but then it morphed into something gruesome and growling.

“What the fuck–” That was Trevor. Then a small light shone in the middle of the room, like a little slice of heaven from above. Rafael’s blood ran cold. Carisi stood abruptly, stumbling over his large feet towards Rafael. Rita curled her legs up onto your couch, hugging the back of the furniture, as if she was using it to ground herself not only physically, but mentally.

Trevor’s hand shook, making the light shive as it shined over onto the blonde detective. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You were sure nobody in the room could.

Across from you, on the other side of your thifted coffee table that took you thirty minutes to convince Rafael to get with you, was Detective Amanda Rollins possessed by something. All of her fingers were bent harshly and weirdly, each one of them touching the planchette in some way. Her shoulders were stiff, but her chin was lifted slightly, mouth slightly agape as she moaned and groaned inhumanely.

Her hair seemed electric. The ends of her blonde strands were lifting at the ends very slightly, strands engulfing around her head. The part that made your eyes water and your heart pound heavily were her eyes. They were wide open and black.

“A-amanda.. This i-isn’t funny!”

Sonny’s voice seemed to shake to the same rhythm as Trevor Langan’s hand. You heard the lawyer mutter more curses under his breath as he stood. Rita was able to swing her legs over the back of the couch and her feet stepped softly towards the front door of your apartment. She paused when Amanda let out another shriek that morphed into a muffled, pained groan.

In the dull phone flashlight, Amanda’s head began to turn, peeking over her shoulder at Sonny. Sonny backed up towards Rafael more, shivering as the two men touched. Sonny’s hand grabbed Rafael’s wrist tightly. “Amanda?” The voice was crackly and harsh, like Amanda had spent her last thirty years smoking two packs a day straight. Her teeth snapped together and her tongue swiped over her lips. She let out a giggle. “Amanda’s not here to play, Dominick.”

#law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law & order svu #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba drabble #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fic #rafael barba fanfiction #spooky ooky #was supposed to be for Halloween lolol

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uncpanda · 2 years ago

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Blood is Thicker than Water: Chapter 20

AN: Not going to lie. I STRUGGLE writing wedding scenes. However, I really love how this chapter turned out. Instead of dragging it out, we get snippets. I love that about this. Please leave feedback.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Master List

Guest List:

“Four hundred and thirty-six people.”

Rafa stares at you. He’s been sipping from that cup of coffee for over two minutes now. You lean forward and say it again, “Four hundred and thirty-six people.”

He finally puts the cup down, “I really don’t see the problem.”

You scream in frustration and stomp right out of the apartment.

The moment the door closes Rafael looks at Benny and asks, “She realizes I have a big family right?”

Wedding Party:

“So that gives me Rita as my best woman, and Ed and Eddie as groomsmen.”

“And I have Liv as my maid of honor.”

Rafa stares at you, “That means the sides are uneven.”

“So?”

“They can’t be uneven.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Why not?”

“It won’t look right.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Your fiance sighs, “What about your friends from college?”

“Most of them are already married and have kids. Plus they live in different states. That’s not fair to ask them.”

“Friends from childhood?”

“I hung out with Elliot’s kids. I haven’t talked to them in years, andI don’t really have a desire to do so now.”

“So this is just how it is.”

“Unless you want me to ask your mother?”

“Nope. We’re good.”

The Venue:

“What do you think?”

You look around at the garden. It is perfect for a springtime wedding. Even without the flowers in bloom, it’s gorgeous.

You look over at Rafa, his smile is stretched across his face. He’s done good. Amazing really. There’s just one problem.

“It’s not going to fit four hundred thirty-six people.”

Your fiance scowls, “We can figure it out. Some people can stand.”

You cross your arms, and lean forward, “That’s against the fire code counselor.” you point towards the plaque that reads a max of 300.

He throws his hands up in frustration, and finally says the words you’ve been waiting to hear, “Fine! I’ll make cuts.”

Ring Bearer:

“He needs a part in the wedding!”

“I’m not disagreeing with you.”

“You said no.”

“I said no, because I already told my sister Noah could do it, and he’s our nephew.”

“Well of course Noah is a ring bearer, I’m just saying Benny could be one too!”

“There’s also the fact that your grandmother might pass out if she sees a dog in the processional. We’re already not getting married in the neighborhood church. She nearly cried when we told her that.”

“She loves Benny!”

“I know, that’s why he can come to the reception and take pictures with us. I already talked to the venue and our dog walker.”

“Oh. Well, okay then.”

Shopping:

“So how did you manage to convince mama Barba and Abuelita and the rest of his relatives not to come today?”

You take a sip of the champagne in your hand, “I told them the truth. This is a you and me thing. No one else allowed.”

Liv smiles, “Well, it means a lot that it’s just us.”

“What do you think of these?”

You and Liv turn together and watch as Ed and Noah come out together. They’re dressed in matching tuxes. You and Liv melt. Noah is absolutely adorable, and Ed actually cleans up pretty good. While Rita is Rafa’s best woman, Ed and Eddie are his groomsmen, and Noah is the ring bearer.

After you’re all done cooing at Noah, Rafael finally steps out of the dressing room. He looks drop dead handsome in his tux. You feel your eyes go wide, and then he gets a little smirk on his face. You know you’re not living this moment down.

Music:

You stare at Rafa. He’s trying not to laugh. You can’t blame him. “She’s going to kill us.”

You smile, “This song comes from the first movie we ever watched together.”

“We’ve already found a way to work quotes into the wedding. If you walk down the aisle to this song, your sister might just kill us.”

You shake your head, a serious look coming over your face, “No she won’t. She knows why I love this movie, why I love the book.”

Rafa looks serious now too, “I think it’s perfect.”

Dress shopping:

“No,no, no, no, no! What did I tell you about off the rack? I said absolutely not! Where is your manager? I helped him evade a racketeering charge, he owes me!”

You sip on champagne and look at your sister. She has that look on her face, “At least it wasn’t a murder or rape charge.”

She nods in agreement before asking, “How did Rita end up on this chopping trip again?”

“This is apparently the best wedding dress shop around. She knows the owner . . . apparently rather well. She’s trying to help.”

A second later a terrified manager and a ranting Rita pass you by.

You both watch them go. You’re happy to say you don’t find your dress in that store.

Dress Shopping Part 2:

The day you find your wedding dress, you’re not expecting it. You’re less than five months away from the wedding, and you’re panicking a little bit. You KNOW it takes time to order a dress. Rita’s told you about it five million times.

You’re walking Benny when you see it. A small bridal shop, with a pretty dress in the window. You stare at it for several seconds before you call your sister. She answers on the first ring, “This better be an emergency. I’m in the middle of a case.”

“I think I might have found my wedding dress.”

There’s a moment of silence, “What’s the address, I’ll be there ASAP.”

You rattle it out just as an employee sticks her head out, “Hi there. Would you like to come in?”

You look down at Benny and she smiles, “He’s welcome to come in too. I love dogs!” You go in.

By the time Liv arrives, Benny is on his back getting belly scratches from the staff while you’re in the dressing room being fitted into your dream dress.

Liv stares at your goofy, three legged dog for a second before she calls out your name. You step out a second later.

You watch her eyes go wide, as she studies you for a second, “That’s it.”

You nod, “Yeah.” There are no tears. It’s just a comfortable feeling. This is your wedding dress.

The Night Before:

The night before your wedding is spent at Liv’s apartment. Ed and Noah head over to your place to spend time with Rafa and Eddie. It’s just the two of you. You put on face masks, paint your nails, and watch Disney movies. It reminds you of one of the best parts of your childhood.

It’s as you’re sitting on the couch that Liv says, “I’m so happy for you. You know that right?”

You smile, “I know.”

“He’s a good man.”

“The best in my opinion, though Ed gives him a run for his money.”

She smiles at that, “I truly think, you’re going to be really happy together.”

“I know so.”

With that, she pulls you in for a hug.

Right Before the Wedding:

You don’t actually feel nervous until about half an hour before the wedding. Your makeup and hair is done. You probably should have been in your dress by now, but you’re still in your getting ready outfit. Things are a bit behind schedule. Noah had a melt down, your sister has cried no less than three times, and Abuelita and Lucia have been bickering with each other. You haven’t seen Rafa. You’re not sure why you’re sticking to this stupid tradition, but you are.

You’re watching the chaos with an observant eye when someone taps you on the shoulder. You spin around to see your sister standing there. She tosses her head to the side and you follow her outside. The sun is shining and the March air is only a little chilly. You close your eyes and allow yourself a minute. When you open your eyes, you see Liv smiling at you.

“What?”

“It’s just crazy. How Lewis,”

“May he rot in hell,”

“Lead to all of this. You moving back and meeting Rafael. Me and Ed connecting, getting married, and having Noah. We’re getting those happy endings we dreamed of as kids.”

You hug yourself and look at the ground for a little bit before you look up, “Did I ever say thank you?”

“For what?”

“For raising me and loving me when you didn’t have to?”

Your sister hugs you, “You never have to thank me for that. You are one of the best joys of my life.” You smile at that.

Walking Down the Aisle:

You’re nervous, but you’re allowed to be. You’re in your dress, your veil is attached, and everyone has walked down the aisle except you and Liv. You look at your sister. She’s dressed in a black dress. She has once again avoided color.

She holds out her arm to you, and you take it. You close your eyes, and you count to three. The music starts: the instrumental Dawn from Pride and Prejudice; the first movie you and Rafa watched together. The movie you two still watch together.

You start to walk. It’s slow, and thanks to the three hundred and twenty three people (Rafa was able to cut it down) you can’t see Rafael yet. You do, however, see Uncle Don, and Finn, and Munch. You smile at them.

And then you turn the corner of people, and you see him. Rafael is standing there. He’s dressed in his tux. His hair is perfectly styled. His eyes are focused solely on you as though you’re the only thing he sees. You feel yourself start to speed up, but your sister grounds you like she always does.

When you finally reach him, you feel your breath leave your chest. And as you take his hand, everything else fades away. It’s just you and him. Just like it’s supposed to be.

#rafael barba fanfiction #ada rafael barba #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba reader insert #law and order fanfiction #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order special victims unit #olivia benson #ed tucker #noah benson

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etclouie-masterlists · 4 months ago

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— Rafael Barba

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you like rafael, join my taglist

ᯓᡣ𐭩 reqs are open and welcome

ᯓᡣ𐭩 main masterlist | svu masterlist

— #𝜗𝜚 rafael barba

— * contains smut / suggestive content, warnings posted on each individual fic; read and heed the warnings. all content is 18+, mdni

main fics

— in court coming soon !

— adored coming soon !

— cutting ties coming soon !

600 event fics

— weren't supposed to know

— broken hearts

other

— nothing yet !

requests can be made here !

#— ୨୧₊˚ louie’s masterlist #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #law and order svu #l&o svu #svu #svu fanfiction #svu x reader #reqs open

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thatesqcrush · 9 months ago

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Alright, making plans, making plans. Send me a request for any* REE characters & a #/prompt

Note: I reserve the right to not write for some characters/requests/prompts.

Kinktober 2024 Prompt List

Please feel free to share and use the list below. Or the header! This is only for anyone 18+ years of age, minors - please do not interact. Please feel free to tag me in any and all Kinktober stories that you post, I’m eager to read them. Have fun and have a wonderful Kinktober!

Handjobs // Temperature Play // Breast Worship

Piercing // Double Penetration // Voyeurism

Sixty-nine // Public Sex // Pet Play

Sensory Deprivation // Leather or Latex // Watersports

Rough Sex // Anal Beads // Bondage

A/B/O Heats or Ruts // Sadism-Masochism // Anonymous Sex

Bruising or Bitemarks // Virgin // Ice Play

Flogging // Swallowing // Cock Warming

Anal // Praise Kink // Food Play

Face Sitting // Lingerie // Overstimulation

Gags // Shaving // Knife Play

Sex Toys // Dirty Talk // Breath Play

Pregnancy // Aftercare // Roleplay

Gangbang // Collaring // Candle - Wax Play

Hair Pulling // Glory Hole // Teasing

Nipple Play // Cock Worship // Lactation

Squirting // Dom - Sub // Period Sex

Cockring or Plugs // Foot Fettish // Massaging

Suspension // Fisting // Mirror Sex

Infidelity - Cuckolding // Cunnilingus // Threesome

Gun Play // Monsterfucking // Shower - Bath Sex

Deepthroating // Thigh Riding or Fucking // Choking

Licking // Degradation // Breeding

Glove Kink // Masturbation // Somnophilia

Pussy Slapping // Non Con - Dub Con // Titty Fucking

Pegging // Edgeplay // Seduction

Lap Dances // Hate Fucking - Angry Sex // Breast Worship

Fucking Machine // Phone Sex // Impact Play

Branding // Hunter - Prey // Uniforms

Weight Gain // Object Insertion // Sex Pollen

Free For All

#kinktober 2024 #kinktober list #absurdthurst kinktober #bryan kneef #rafael barba #svu smut #svu fanfic #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba smut #bryan kneef smut #bryan kneef x reader #rafael barba x reader

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reidishh · 5 months ago

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BUY ME PRESENTS!

These works are NSFW - any persons that are considered minors (under the age of 18) found to be reading/interacting with these works will be promptly blocked from this blog.

Now presenting a REIDISHH Kinkmas special: BUY ME PRESENTS! For fifteen days in the month of December, starting December 1st and ending December 31st, I'll be posting kinky fics and drabbles starring our favorite slutty little crime fighters.

Note: ON TEMP. HIATUS

"Fuck the jet, send the sleigh! It's a packed holiday and I've got options, babe!" - Sabrina Carpenter, Buy Me Presents

001 :: LOSS OF VIRGINITY with AARON HOTCHNER

002 :: COCKWARMING with RAFAEL BARBA

003 :: MUTUAL MASTURBATION with SONNY CARISI

004 :: KNIFE PLAY with EMILY PRENTISS

005 :: SEX TAPE with SPENCER REID

006 :: SOMNOPHILIA with AARON HOTCHNER

007 :: CNC with SPENCER REID

008 :: EDGING with EMILY PRENTISS

009 :: ORGASM DENIAL with SPENCER REID

010 :: THREESOME with SPENCER REID + SONNY CARISI

011 :: ROLEPLAY with RAFAEL BARBA

012 :: BREEDING with SONNY CARISI

013 :: BONDAGE with RAFAEL BARBA

014 :: VOYEURISM with AARON HOTCHNER

015 :: EXHIBITIONISM with SONNY CARISI

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otissbluebearshirt · 7 months ago

Note

could i please request ‘sex in a pool/hot tub’ for rafael barba

fem!reader :)

Hot Tub - [ Rafael Barba ] 18+

Prompt: Sex in a pool/hot tub

Word Count: 2678

Warnings: female!reader, smut - [vaginal fingering, semi-public masturbation]

A/N: this is my first oneshot in a while so yk, be nice :) also it’s my first one for rafael too, both in general and with smut so yeah… i wasn’t even going to post it but i figured why not? it might not be that bad so maybe yall can still enjoy it

Masterlist | Rafael Masterlist

After a long day spent on the icy slopes of Switzerland’s most famous ski resort, you were in desperate need of relaxation.

It wasn’t easy at times, keeping up with Rafael. Of chasing his constant need for adrenaline and following through on the utter thrill of hitting the ramps, landing with perfect grace in the thick snow each and every time. To be honest, it was rather frightening. You’d never skied before in your life and the entire time you were too afraid to hit any jumps that were higher than a foot or too. Most of the time you just sat there, making small snowmen in the snow as you waited for time to tick by.

Rafael didn’t mind though. He knew the only reason you’d come here was because of him, so he was more than happy to let you stay in your safety zone whilst he got the chance to show off around you — something you’d rolled your eyes at in the beginning but by the second or third day, had secretly grown to love. And he knew it. It’s why he kept going the rest of the day, gliding and zipping through the air like a damn expert and finding amusement in the way you’d dramatically roll your eyes each time he did.

To tell the truth, you didn’t like skiing one bit. It was scary, and dangerous, and you, for some reason, kept imagining that the Abominable snowman from that one Scooby-Doo movie was going to rise from the ground and kidnap you. It made you shiver just thinking about it. About some giant snowman's hands picking you up and carrying you away.

Terrifying, honestly.

But really, the only true reason you kept shivering was merely because it was freezing. It was so utterly cold as the snow fell around you that your nose was always red, you couldn’t even feel your ears and most importantly your skin kept stinging even beneath your snowsuit. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, and all you ever wanted, from the moment you woke up, was for the day to be over so that you could finally get back to the cosiness of your cabin and slip into the blazing heat of the hot tub.

It may have been outside as well, and it may have been rather chilly as you ran to it but once you slid into the bubbles, it was like ascending into heaven. Or hell, given that it was warm, but whatever. It was simply perfect, and even more so when Rafael’s arms wrapped tightly around you, allowing the two of you to do nothing but bask in the comforting heat of the bubbles as you relished in each and every touch he would grace you with.

Only tonight, as you sunk happily into the cosy warmth of the water and felt the first sharp shiver of the goosebumps that riddled every inch of your skin at the sudden change in temperature, you got an idea. A far, far better idea of how to warm yourself up — Of how best to warm yourself up, and without the sole use of the jacuzzi’s bubbles… as by the time you’re done, they’re gonna be the very last thing present on your mind.

“Mi cariño, what are you doing all the way over there?” Rafael asked, tilting his head curiously as he watched you settle yourself opposite him, which was unlike any other night before when you had practically placed yourself on his lap and sucked all the heat from beneath his skin.

“There’s better jets on this side,” You said plainly, biting down on your bottom lip as you spread your legs as wide as you could.

He couldn’t see you clearly though, it was too dark. The bulb on the porch didn’t provide much actual, usable light but the two of you never really cared. You were always close enough for him to see, yet tonight he simply couldn’t see anything but the partially darkened shape of your figure sitting there quietly. He couldn’t see the small quirks of your mouth at the forceful brush of the jet against your sweet spot, the one that made you bite down hard on your lip in order to keep quiet. He couldn’t see the scheming glint that got lost in the lust that swallowed your eyes as you watched him, that one, small ray of light cascading over his face perfectly and allowing you to see the utter confusion that riddled his eyes.

He hadn’t figured it out yet, that much you were certain of. He didn’t know what your agenda was. What you were planning. It was all completely unknown to him, and quite frankly it was completely unexpected too, given your job. You were a sex crimes detective. You were well aware of the consequences of public masturbation and public sex, and never once would Rafael have ever thought you would risk your career to simply try it. But if you were being honest, that innocence he thought you had… That shyness you gave off mixed with your secret rush for knowing what it would feel like to tick public sex off your bucket list only made you that much more hot under your metaphorical collar and you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing it.

You spread your legs further, allowing the brute force of the jet to hit so right… So toe curlingly perfect against your sensitive clit that you threw out your arms to grip behind you, splashing water over the edge of the hot tub as you leaned your head back, letting the sweetest, most breathy, most arousal inducing moan pass over your lips.

Rafael was by your side in an instant, the water shifting so furiously around you that your body jerked back against the hard surface of the tub as settled himself down next to you. His eyes were wide from shock. From lust. From pure and utter deviance as he knew all too well what you were doing. He’d heard stories of women using water jets to get themselves off but he never so much as expected to hear you talk about doing it let alone actually see you. And in a public space such as this.

“You’re taking a big risk, mi amor,” Rafael whispered, leaning in to brush his lips lightly over your neck as he delved his hand down into the water, running two fingers painfully slowly over the thin cover of your bikini and stopping the jet from reaching you. “Exposing yourself out here like this?” He shook his head and tutted.

“It’ll be worth it,” You whispered, pushing his hand aside as you knew it would rile him up real good to see you get off on something other than his cock, his fingers or his mouth. And you were right, his eyes darkened the second you rocked your hips over the jet and as each sweet sounding whimper left your lips, his right eye would twitch in frustration. “Because God does this feel so, so good for me.”

As the pleasure driven words left your lips and only added to Rafael’s ever growing desire for you, you reached behind your neck and undid your bikini top, allowing it to fall gracefully forwards and expose the soft mounds of your breasts. Rafael’s eyes fell to them instantly like a heat seeking missile, his pupils blown wide with hunger and his need for dominance as he watched you trail your fingertips slowly up the valley of them.

You knew he always loved your breasts. Caressing them. Kissing them. Having them roll over his chest with every thrust of his cock inside you, anything he could do to simply feel them, he would, and you could tell by the way he clenched his teeth that it was driving him mad to see you be the one to touch them. To see you kneading them. To see you pinching and rolling those hardened buds between your fingers as you began to pant softly from the pure heat bubbling down around your pussy had him all but drooling with rage.

“You better stop that,” He demanded, his tone ripped right out of the courtroom as though you were a simple perp he was trying to break. You did nothing but grin mischievously at him, a soft, throaty whimper leaving your parted lips that had him thrust one hand down through the surface of the water and go straight to his hardening cock, rubbing it through the thin lining of his shorts and thinking of all the things he could do to you tonight. “Mi amor… I’m warning you.”

“You want me to stop?” You teased, mimicking his motions and happily going to touch yourself as even though the jet felt incredible, it wasn’t anywhere near what you needed tonight. You kept eye contact as you slid beneath your bottoms, the sloshing of the water slowly picking up around you as you drew faster and faster circles on your clit, making your own eyelids flutter in a way that drove Rafael crazy. “You're… Fuck… You’re gonna have to make me.”

Lifting off his seat with such force that it sent a wave of water spilling over the edge of the hot tub, Rafael grabbed your body and lifted you effortlessly off your own, a rather surprised squeal leaving your lips at the sudden rush of anticipation that flew through your veins. He spun you around, falling back onto the very jet that you’d just been pleasuring yourself on as you straddled his strong thighs, his mouth already working its way along the length of your neck, leaving hot, fiery kisses the whole way down as he headed for the delicious sight of your inviting breasts.

As his lips trailed down between the valley he shifted right, his tongue instantly swirling hot around your nipple as he got to work unravelling you. You gripped the back of his hair immediately, holding him closer to your chest as you tightened your legs around him, rolling your hips over his rock hard erection in a way that had him moan against your breast and take your nipple firmly between his teeth.

The sound that left your lips as he tugged at it was indescribable, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled back, taking your lips in his as the desperate urge to feel every single part of you he could at once washed over him. You hummed softly into his mouth as he began to gently caress your waist, grazing his soft palms so slowly across every inch of your skin before dipping his fingertips deep into the flesh of your hips as he tugged you forward, one hand slipping down as you moved and quickly making its way beneath your bikini. He spread you open in an instant, your soft gasps escaping into his mouth as he ghosted his fingertips across the throbbing bud of your clit, feeling as you ground down against him for some much needed stimulation.

It was only then, when you whimpered out of dire need to have him inside you, did he plung himself right up and into you, his two thick fingers sliding so easily and so swiftly into your soaking pussy that you had to draw back. A long babble of swear words left your lips the second you did and he lingered inside you, his thumb teasing your aching clit before he curled his fingers ever so slightly and slowly began to pump them into you.

Even submerged in the water he could feel how wet you were. The slight thickness to your arousal as it coated his fingers and spilled out over his knuckles each time he thrust hard into you was unmissable and every drop of it that landed on him made him twitch beneath his shorts. God, he simply couldn’t wait to feel it around his cock and so he picked up the pace, your breathy pants like music to his ears as he pressed his thumb even hard atop your clit, moving in such slow, teasing circles compared to his thrusts that he could already feel you clenching tightly around him.

“Fuck… You’re even better than the jets,” You whimpered subconsciously, the mere sound of you alone, mixed with how truly senseless he was fucking you, making Rafael shudder fiercely as he leaned in to kiss you, wanting to taste the rest of the moans he was about to pull from you. Your hands slid up the length of his arms, clinging to his shoulders for much needed support as you moved your hips along with him, feeling as that pressure deep inside you quickly began to build at the new sensation of the ride.

“You think you can take a third, mijo?” Rafael whispered against your lips, yet he didn’t even wait for your desperation fuelled head nod before he slipped it snugly into you, having you cry out in sheer pleasure at the sudden way you stretched wider around him.

You dropped your head forwards, pressing your face into the crook of his neck as he quickened his pace. You’d truly never felt anything like this before in your life, the way his fingers slid so quickly and so easily into you was sending you to further reaches that you’d ever felt before, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until toppled over.

And you were right, as after one last thrust of his fingers that he paired expertly with a perfectly pressured rub of your clit, he sent you hurtling over the edge into a pure and utter mind boggling pit of pleasure.

Your hips stilled as you practically burst on top of him, your deep, breathy moans unfortunately muffled against the crook of his neck as he carried you through it, causing him to tilt it slightly in order to hear you. And once he did, his own eyes rolled back into his head as he continued to circle your throbbing clit, prolonging your orgasm as much as humanly possible so as to squeeze every ounce of pleasure out of you as he could.

As you slowly began to come down, your chest heaving rapidly against his own, Rafael finally stopped, having brought you to the very brink of overstimulation with only one perfect orgasm. He pulled his fingers from inside you, giving your clit one last gentle rub before his hand left the water, where unfortunately for him you already were washed off by the time he could get his fingers to his mouth.

“Are you warm enough yet, darlin’?” Rafael asked, a slight smirk tugging on his lips as he watched you lift your head like it weighed a ton, which to you, it might as well have as your whole body felt twice as heavy as normal with the weight of pleasure that had just come crashing down atop you.

That didn’t mean you weren’t willing to play along with his cruel game, though, and so you smiled, leaning forward to press a sloppy, lopsided kiss to his lips before directing them towards his ear.

“I’m freezing,” You whispered, feeling the way his hips jerked beneath you at the mere notion that he hadn’t warmed you up enough. You pulled back a touch, just to see every twitch of his lips as he slowly began to press his fingers, almost possessively, into your thighs again. “I think you might need to try again to help warm me up.”

“Well in that case,” Rafael replied, a soft groan leaving his lips when you ground down against him. “I think we better take this inside. Because the things I’m about to do to you…” He sucked in a breath, drawing his tongue up the length of your neck and towards your ear in a way that had you quivering already. “There’s no doubt in my mind that they’ll land us both on the registry… for the very rest of our days.”

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madamsnape921 · 4 months ago

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Crucial Companionship

Pairing: Rafael Barba x female reader

Note: only implied smut

WC: 1461

Winter Bingo square: Fake Dating

Taglist: @storiesofsvu @alwaysachorusgirl @beccabarba @prurientpuddlejumper @welcometothemxdhouse @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @lv7867 @word-scribbless

@plaidbooks @navalcriminalimagines

Rafael pondered the situation for what felt like the fifteenth time that day. It was crucial for YN to come with him to the fundraiser, especially since Yelina would be there. She was his only possible companion. He decided he would ask her today when she came to his office to go over her testimony.

“About time,” he sighed, clearly annoyed.

“What crawled up you, Barba?”

“Always so elegant, YN.”

"Fine. I'm only here to discuss my testimony. Let's just get it done and I'll be out of your way."

Rafael gave you a curt nod, masking his relief that you had finally shown up. He led you into his office, papers strewn across the table. As you settled in opposite each other, he couldn't help but notice the determined set of your jaw, a familiar sight whenever you were gearing up for a fight.

"Let's start with the incident on 5th Street," Rafael began, flipping through the pages of his notes.

But before he could delve into the details, the door swung open with a bang, revealing Yelina standing there, her eyes blazing with an intensity that made Rafael's heart skip a beat. She strode into the room, her presence filling the space in a way that left no room for anyone else.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Yelina's voice was like honey laced with venom, and Rafael felt a shiver run down his spine. This was going to be more complicated than he had anticipated. Yelina's sudden appearance added a layer of tension to an already delicate situation. Rafael tried to maintain his composure, but he could feel the weight of her gaze bearing down on him.

"Yelina, this is a private meeting," Rafael said, his tone firm but tinged with a hint of apprehension.

Rafael exchanged a wary glance with you, silently urging you to remain composed in the face of Yelina's provocation. He knew that any misstep could unravel the fragile balance he had been trying to maintain for so long.

Before anyone could speak another word, Yelina crossed the room in swift strides, her gaze fixed on you with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. "And who might you be?" she inquired, her voice sharp.

You met Yelina's piercing stare with a calmness that belied the turmoil within. "I'm YN, a colleague of Rafael's," you replied evenly, keeping your tone neutral despite the tension crackling in the air.

Yelina's lips curled into a sardonic smile as she turned her attention back to Rafael. "A colleague, huh? Is that what we're calling it now?"

Rafael's jaw tightened at Yelina's accusation, but he maintained a calm tone. "Yelina, you got us. YN is also my future wife. Now if you don’t mind, we have pressing matters to attend to."

“Rafael Barba,” you interjected, disappointed by the deception.

“I know, I know. I apologize, love. I realize we had agreed to hold off on announcements and wait...but I couldn't resist."

Yelina's eyes widened in surprise, her expression softening slightly at the mention of love. She studied the two of you for a long moment, the tension in the room slowly dissipating as she seemed to come to a decision.

"Well, isn't this a twist," Yelina finally said, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Congratulations are in order then."

Rafael let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, relief flooding through him at Yelina's unexpected reaction. He reached out to grasp your hand, a silent gesture of reassurance and gratitude for your understanding.

"Thank you, Yelina," you responded graciously, recognizing the significance of her acceptance.

Yelina inclined her head towards both of you before turning to leave the room. Just before she exited, she shot Rafael a knowing look over her shoulder.

"Make sure you take good care of each other," she called out, her voice softer now, before disappearing down the hallway. Rafael watched her go, a mix of emotions swirling within him. But as he turned back to you, the weight of Yelina's presence seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of your hand in his.

He pulled his hand back quickly. "I apologize, that was my ex-girlfriend. She'll be at the fundraiser coming up, and I had planned to ask you this evening if you would be willing to pretend to be my fiance for the event."

"Barba, you can't be serious. You hate me...why would you even consider asking me?"

"I don't hate you! You're the one who hates me!"

"I don't hate you, Rafael," you replied softly, meeting his eyes with a mixture of surprise and vulnerability, despite the tension between the two of you.

Rafael's gaze softened as he took in your words, a flicker of hope sparking in his eyes. He reached out tentatively to touch your hand, his voice gentle as he spoke. "I may not always show it, but I respect you, YN. And I trust you. That's why I'm asking for your help."

You hesitated, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air between you. The idea of pretending to be Rafael's fiance felt like stepping into a minefield, fraught with both danger and potential for something more. But as you looked into his eyes, seeing a vulnerability that he rarely showed to anyone, a sense of understanding blossomed within you.

"I'll do it, Rafael," you said finally, a determined glint in your eyes. "But on one condition."

Rafael's brow furrowed in curiosity. "What condition?"

A small smile tugged at your lips. "That we do this my way."

Rafael couldn't help but chuckle at your unexpected response, a sense of relief flooding through him at your willingness to help. "Your way it is then," he agreed, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.

As the two of you began to strategize and plan for the upcoming fundraiser, a newfound camaraderie blossomed between you. Despite the initial tension and misgivings, Rafael found himself grateful for your presence and unwavering support.

In the days that followed, you and Rafael slipped seamlessly into your roles as an engaged couple, navigating social gatherings and public appearances with practiced ease. But amidst the facade and pretense, a genuine connection started to bloom between you, built on mutual respect and understanding.

As the fundraiser unfolded, Rafael found himself looking at you in a new light, admiration shining in his eyes as he watched you effortlessly charm and impress the guests. And as the evening drew to a close, amidst the applause and congratulations, Rafael took your hand in his, his gaze soft and sincere as he leaned in closer.

"YN, I know this started as a charade, but being by your side tonight felt...right. More real than anything I've experienced in a long time. I don't want our engagement to be just for show anymore. I want it to be real. I want us to be real."

Your heart skipped a beat at Rafael's words, the honesty and vulnerability in his eyes stirring something deep within you. The pretense of your relationship had slowly given way to something genuine and meaningful, and the realization washed over you like a wave crashing against the shore.

"I feel it too, Rafa," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as you met his gaze with equal sincerity. "I never expected this...but I want it too. I want us to be real."

A smile tugged at the corners of Rafael's lips, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips, sealing the unspoken promise between you. The weight of pretense lifted off your shoulders, replaced by the lightness of possibility and newfound connection.

As you stood there, enveloped in the warmth of Rafael's embrace, you knew that this was just the beginning of a new chapter in both of your lives. The events that had brought you together may have been born out of deception, but the feelings that had blossomed between you were undeniably real.

With Rafael by your side, his hand intertwined with yours, you felt a sense of completeness and belonging that you had never experienced before. And as the night turned into dawn, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, bound by a love that had transcended the boundaries of pretense and found its roots in truth.

And so, hand in hand, hearts entwined, you stepped into the future with Rafael Barba by your side, ready to embrace whatever lay ahead, knowing that together, you could conquer anything that came your way. The world seemed full of endless possibilities as you shared a tender embrace with Rafael, the echoes of the evening's events still lingering in the air around you.

#kattsholidaybingo2024 #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba x reader

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thatesqcrush · 7 months ago

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Beautiful Sinner (Priest! Barba AU), Prologue & Ch. 1

Priest! Barba x f! reader | SVU au

Rating: NSFW for language, graphic smut, basic desecration of religious upbringing.

WC: 8.6K

AN: I am so going to hell. One way ticket for lil old me.

AN2: Big thanks to @beccabarba for reviewing and being my soundboard.

Prologue:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been, It's been too long since my last confession.”

“Go ahead,” the voice behind the screen began. “Tell me your sins.”

You shivered at the tambor of the words spoken. And you know that your sins were also their sins.

“I'm not seeking penance for what I've done, Father. I'm asking forgiveness for what I'm about to do,” you clarified. Your voice was soft.

“That’s not how this works,” the familiar voice replied. “What exactly are you going to do?”

You let out a shaky breath and heat flushed your cheeks. You began to unbutton your blouse. “I think you already know, Father.”

— Ch. 1—

*six months earlier*

It was a blistering summer day in Manhattan, the sun beating down relentlessly, casting sharp shadows on towering skyscrapers. The pavement radiated intense heat, mirages shimmering above the asphalt street. The air was thick with a suffocating blend of exhaust fumes, unpicked garbage bags and urban heat. City dwellers sought refuge in shaded pockets, and the city seemed to pulsate with the collective desire for relief from the oppressive heat.

It also happened to be your first weekend in your new home-a nine-story walk up in Hudson Heights.

You received your pink slip and had to make the hard decision to move. Your aunt was subletting her apartment while she traveled across the Borneo rainforests. Transitioning to a more modest apartment was a challenging shift. You had to adapt to a different community vibe and recalibrate your lifestyle expectations. You had introverted tendencies but you tried to remain resilient, focusing on navigating this life change as a time to reset.

You opened the window and stuck your head out. Spanish music played outside loudly and the normally traffic filled street was closed, with people milling about. It was the annual block party for the neighborhood, with vendors and entertainment alike. The food smelled wonderful and your stomach growled in response. The sound of a knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. You ducked your head, making sure to avoid giving yourself a concussion. “Coming!” You called out as your bare feet padded the floor. You knew who it was - Maria, your next door neighbor who you met on move-in day. Maria was friendly with your aunt and you knew that she had promised your aunt that she’d keep an eye on you. She was close in age to you and immediately offered you a helping hand, helping you bring up boxes. You thanked her with pizza and beer and the two of you were on your way to becoming fast friends.

When Maria had texted you earlier in the week,” ‘Block party! Want to come with?’ it was an easy yes.

You opened the door and let Maria in. “Just need shoes and my bag. Help yourself if you want anything,” you called out, heading back towards your bedroom.

You heard your fridge open, the cacophonous sounds of beverages clanking together followed by the click and hiss of a can opening. Soon enough, you were both on your way.

–

Time flew and you found yourself really enjoying yourself. Eventually Maria had to leave - she was meeting her boyfriend and his sister to head into Queens to catch the Mets game.

You were still beyond hot, the humidity was thick, almost choking you. You pulled out a claw clip from your bag and pinned your hair up. Just even having the damp strands off the nape of your neck provided some, albeit, minimal relief. In that moment, you missed your pixie cut from years prior.

The local fire department had opened the fire hydrant and there was a gaggle of kids playing in the water. You looked at the water longingly before you internally said ‘fuck it,’ and ran through the open fire hydrant. The force of the water was stronger - and colder - than you had anticipated and you let out a shriek. You ran through it once more - this time not as close to the hydrant - enjoying the water washing over your overheated skin. Sufficiently cooled off, you continued on your way through the neighborhood.

There was a generalized area with a tent set up for community outreach. Curiosity piqued, you moseyed on over. You picked up a pamphlet - St. Blaise Church. You were religious as a child, it was as how your parents raised you. As an adult, you found yourself straying away, not agreeing with the church’s ideals which contradicted your more liberal beliefs. Sometimes, though, you found yourself missing it - especially during Christmas and Easter, when the congregation would meet up together in mass throngs. There was something about community that made you wistful.

“Interested in the Church?” a voice questioned. You looked up and you locked eyes with a handsome man. That was an understatement. He was obscenely good looking. Almost as if it hurt to look at him straight on. You felt a jolt straight to your core. No one should look as good as he did.

He took your breath away with his green eyes and thick, fitted build. His hair was dark with flecks of gray at the temples. His salt and pepper beard neatly framed his jawline. The man gave you a smile, his eyes crinkling. Crow's feet gracefully fanned out from the corners of his eyes, evidence of a life rich in laughter and stories. Dressed in comfortable yet stylish summer attire, he exuded a casual sophistication. He wore a fitted polo with fitted shorts that were borderline criminal. The polo was slightly unbuttoned, which allowed for a hint of chest hair along sun-kissed skin to peek through. Immediately your brain went to the gutter.

“Miss?”

You blinked. It was as if your brain broke and you had no idea as to how to respond. He raised a brow and inwardly you melted, feeling warmth bloom through you.

“Uh, sorry. The heat is just getting to me,” Nervous laughter accompanied your lame excuse.

“No worries, it happens to the best of us. I’m Rafael Barba.” He offered his hand and you took it. As you shook his hand, warmth bloomed through you.

He offered you a beer from a cooler and you happily accepted. And over beer, you find yourself enamored with every word from his lips. You suspected Rafael was involved with the church with how passionately he spoke about it. And when he invited you to attend the Adult Fellowship group after Sunday’s mass, you found yourself agreeing.

“...the fellowship hour following the Liturgy provides opportunities to develop friendships, meet parishioners or simply exchange information of mutual interest. There are monthly birthday celebrations and seasonal events, such as Christmas and Easter parties, as well as a spring picnic. We are always looking for more—”

Rafael’s cell rang and he apologized before excusing himself. You nodded and rocked on your heels, once again taking in the scene before you as you finished your beer.

This new neighborhood was already looking up.

—

As Rafael took the call, he couldn’t help but turn around to look at you once more. His eyes raked over your form, fully drinking you in. He swallowed hard, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He could feel a slight stirring in his pants, and furiously shook his head.

‘No,’ his brain argued. ‘No.’

He was not being turned on right now. Rafael tried to push the thought away and turned his attention back to the phone.

After the Householder case and resigning from the D.A.’s office, Rafael decided he needed to get away from it all. He spent the next three months holed up in his apartment, avoiding anyone and everyone.

Even if he didn’t want to - there was no one who would understand what he did. His mother was horrified and stopped talking to him. He received more than one gloating, sneering call from the recidivist he should have blocked — Alex Muños. Even Yelina spurned him.

He was truly alone.

So what was an acquitted, former ADA to do?

He prayed.

He had lapsed from religion. After working in the DA’s office and seeing all the especially heinous, depraved, evil out there - he was convinced there was no God.

He couldn’t explain why he did what he did - he did what he had to. Something called him to do it.

Was it God? Was it the Devil?

He wasn’t sure. So he prayed some more.

And then one night it came to him. The calling from God.

After a lengthy period of hemming and hawing, weighing the pros and cons, he contacted the local diocesan vocational director and began the requisite training. That training looked like pre-theology for 2 years followed by a tenure at a major seminary where he studied languages—some of which he already knew -Latin, Spanish, Greek. He also took graduate level studies in theology, including Doctrine, Canon Law, Church History, Scripture, and Liturgy.

He called St. Blaise’s home for three years. He found joy in community and spreading the Gospel. He gave to the community as much as he could possibly give. He thought it would be weird - that people would recognize him and call him a baby killer. And if they did - they never did it to his face. Rather, the community embraced him.

He was still busy as ever - mass was everyday, there were funerals, baptisms and weddings. He did outreach with the youth and began a fellowship for parishioners who were in a similar age cohort. Having saved quite a penny as an ADA, he lived off his savings. A priest’s salary was meager and he still had to pay taxes. So his salary sat in another account which went towards that.

The summer block party was an annual event, but very nubile - only in its third year. It’s where he felt he could give most back and the community could truly come together.

He hadn’t felt an attraction to any form of secular life in ages.

Until you just now.

He could use the excuse that he was a man after all. A man who used to be sexually active with both men and women alike. But before you, he was able to steer his thoughts away and put that energy into something else for the betterment of the church and community.

And then you came along, soaking yourself as you sprinted through a pump before going back for more.

His eyes traveled over you again. You were soaked, the material of your clothing sticking to you. Your tank top - now sheer - showing off your nipples which were diamond hard due to the combination of the cold water and air.

‘Fucking hell, get a grip.’

But he turned around to get yet another look, while yes’ing the person on the phone. His eyes trailed over the shorts you wore, perfectly molded to your ass and thighs. The rest of your legs were equally toned and for a split second, he could imagine them wrapped around his hips.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’

He wanted to talk to you more but this phone call ate up his time. Finally after what seemed like forever, he was free again. He decided at that moment, he needed to clear his head, so he sat back down and willed his cock to deflate. He closed his eyes and was about to cover his face with a hat when you interrupted him again.

“So what’s a lapsed Catholic to do if she wants to rejoin the church?”

Rafael lifted the hat off his face and sat fully. He cocked a brow. “Well, you can start by coming to mass tomorrow.”

“I suppose,” you sighed. “It’s been awhile.”

“How long is a while?” Rafael inquired gently. He gave you a kind smile. You looked away, embarrassed. Heat flooded your cheeks.

“Years,” you supplied.

Rafael nodded and then cocked his head. “Are you familiar with the parable about Jesus and the lost sheep?”

You nodded. “I’m the one that Jesus is looking for?”

Rafael nodded. “Maybe. But what about coming to mass first and checking it out before making any commitments?”

You nodded again. “I’ll think about it.”

“Hey stranger! Long time no see!” a familiar voice called out, interrupting the conversation.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to see Maria, now accompanied by her boyfriend.

“I thought you were going to the city,” you asked, chucking your beer in the garbage can next to you.

“Changed our minds. Plus Robbie’s sister is being a little bitch.”

That earned a ‘hey!’ from Robbie before he acquiesced. “Yeah, she is being a little bitch.”

You turned back around but Rafael was nowhere to be seen. You looked at the pamphlet once more before folding it and tucking it away for later.

“I cannot believe you spoke to Fr. Barba like that,” Maria continued.

“Wait - what? He’s a priest?”

Maria nodded. She then pointed to your still soaked appearance. “You can see your tits through your tanktop. Wrong day to not wear a bra. You look like you could win a wet-tshirt contest.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot in embarrassment as you looked down and realized Maria was in fact correct.

“Probably thanked God - that celibate life must be rough,” Robbie laughed. “He’s been a priest for how long? I can’t imagine not having sex.”

You weren’t listening though, too consumed in your embarrassment and attraction. Of course the hottest man on the planet is a fucking priest. ‘And of course I would basically flash him.’

Later that evening at home, you poured some kibble in a bowl for your cat and heated up a quick meal. As you waited for your food to finish, you rifled through your closet for something to wear to church. Your eyes landed on a sundress that you knew was probably much too short for church. You frowned and kept looking until you found the perfect outfit.

You told Maria that you were going to attend mass. You had already promised the hot priest you’d come to the fellowship group. If you didn’t show, then you would be a liar, and you couldn’t lie to a priest - right?

—

The following morning you found yourself at church with Maria.

“I want to sit up in the front,” you whined as the both of you shuffled into the pew.

“I’m too hungover to sit in the front,” Maria grumbled. “You think I can get away with leaving my sunglasses on?”

You rolled your eyes. “This is probably the one mass you can get away with that shit,” you replied before slapping your mouth with your palm. “I didn’t mean to curse, shit, oh no, God damnit!”

Maria laughed at your foul mouthed word salad. “You can confess to Fr. Barba after.”

The organ began to play and you stood. You motioned to Maria to stand and she ignored you, instead choosing to rest her head on the back of the bench of the pew in front of her. You watched as the altar servers carried in the items needed for mass - Cross, the processional candles, incense and Bible. Your eyes followed as Fr. Barba walked behind. He wore green vestments and you vaguely recalled that the color of the robes indicated where you were along in the church calendar.

Mass went as typically as you remembered. You sang from the hymnal, prayed along the congregation, and actually listened to the homily instead of daydreaming about being anywhere else. Fr. Barba was straightforward, discussing Jesus’ anger.

“Paul commands us in Ephesians 4:26, be angry and do not sin; don’t let the sun set on your anger. I’ve heard a lot of sermons on the “but do not sin” part: anger can give opportunity to the devil and birth all manner of hell in relationships. I’ve also heard a lot of sermons on the “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” But I haven’t heard any sermons on these two words: be angry.”

Fr. Barba paused before continuing. “Be angry. As we look upon a world of injustice and abuse, even in the church, we can learn how to be angry in love together. And we learn this the way Paul did: from Jesus. Jesus got angry. Regularly. And we see a pattern in his anger: whenever someone vulnerable or powerless suffered injustice at the hands of the strong and powerful, Jesus opposed this injustice with loving anger.”

The Liturgy of Word concluded and then transitioned into the Liturgy of the Eucharist. You watched intently as he performed prayers and rites in Latin that had existed for thousands of years.

It was time for Communion but you didn’t feel up to receiving. So instead, you just watched. As you scanned the church, your eyes locked with Rafael’s. He was watching you, a frown on his face. You felt your cheeks grow hot once more and you turned away out of embarrassment.

Mass concluded shortly after. The fellowship hour was immediately afterwards, held in the basement of the church. Maria had zero interest in attending so you parted ways before heading down. The smell of incense and something very “churchly” permeated in the air as you walked down the dimly lit stairs.

The basement was as expected, acoustic tile ceiling, fluorescent lights, that unique slight churchy smell, boxes of various items, beige metal folding chairs, long tables, pillars in the middle of the room holding up the sanctuary one floor up. There was a life-size nativity in the back, with a Joseph whose hand was broken and an unfortunate beheaded sheep statue. Someone was setting up a coffee maker and someone else was plating store-bought cupcakes.

You chit-chatted with some congregants, majority of whom you met at the block party.

As you made a cup of coffee, you were unaware of Fr. Barba entering the room. It was only when you heard his voice and the sound of people shuffling to sit. You turned, sipping your coffee as you did so. No, Fr. Barba was no longer in those ceremonial robes that hid away everything. Instead, he wore fitted dark denim with a black shirt and his collar.

Your eyes tracked him as you continued to speak with others. You made sure to glance back to the folks you were speaking with - implying you were listening when you really weren’t. You watched as he moved easily through the room, greeting people, making jokes. What a waste of good looks.

People began to slowly sit, the chatting quietly winding down. Eventually, you took a seat. Everyone sat in a circle and you felt as if you were in an AA meeting.

“Welcome,” Fr. Barba began. “Thank you all for taking the time to come today.” He turned his gaze to you and stretched his arm in your direction. “We have a newcomer.” He gave you a small smile, his eyes crinkling in the corner.

You gave a small smile and waved, before introducing yourself.

There was a more in depth discussion of the readings from the mass. You hung onto every word Rafael said. Fr. Barba, Fr. Barba, Fr. Barba you chanted in your mind as if you were trying to ensure that stayed in your mind.

He’s a priest you told yourself. He’s Father - not Daddy.

—

You became a regular at church and also at the afternoon fellowship. You were usually quiet, opting to listen more so than anything. Today was different.

Fr. Barba asked the group to share their most favorite parts of scripture; he had anticipated the majority of responses - Genesis, one of the Gospels, Proverbs. Your comment made his stomach flip.

“I personally enjoy Song of Songs,” you offered. “It celebrates sexual love.”

“Jewish tradition reads it as an allegory of the relationship between God and Israel,” Fr. Barba offered.

“In Christianity, it is read as an allegory of Christand his bride, the Church,” you countered.

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me,” Fr. Barba responded.

You flushed. “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. It is an unabashedly sensuous, even at times quite erotic, paean to love,” you continued as you leafed through the Bible you held.

“No matter what interpretation you choose to believe, the book is a powerful and profound reminder of the beauty and depth of God’s love for us. It is a beautiful book that has been celebrated for centuries and one that can still bring joy and comfort to believers today.”

There was a pause and then Rafael clapped his hands. “I think that’s enough to stop for now. Thank you all for coming. I’ll see you all next week.”

You hung back, helping to clean up. Slowly the group dissipated, leaving you and Fr. Barba alone.

“You’re still here.” Fr. Barba’s voice was thick and dark. You shivered in response.

“I really enjoyed myself today,” you replied softly as you approached him. You closed the gap between you and him. You could press your hands to his chest if you wanted to.

Oh how you wanted to.

Your nipples strained against the confines of your top. You wanted to drop to your knees and show your worth - take another type of communion.

‘Behave,’ you told yourself.

“Did you now?”

His expressive, bright green eyes are now dark and stormy. His jaw is tight. You swallow hard.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I won’t have it,” he continues. His voice is clipped and you shivered in response.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m not playing at anything Father. I’ll see you next week.”

Rafael didn’t reply. He watched as you turned about and walked away with a deliberate sway of your hips. His eyes were focused on your ass. All he wanted to do in that moment was to haul you over a pew and spank your ass for your insolence. His cock ached and twitched in his pants.

You turned back towards him, a full smile gracing your face. “I’m really looking forward to being a member of this congregation.”

Once you were gone, Rafael sat down on a folded chair dismayed.

He was so screwed.

God almighty help him.

—

It was a delicate dance. There was a part of you that enjoyed toeing the line with Fr. Barba. And part of you felt a smidge guilty. But fuck, he was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him.

As Fr. Barba. Well, you weren’t alone in the desperate want and lust you were feeling.

He played with you in his fantasies. He knew what he was getting into when he became a priest. He swore to God to not know another’s body. It was the least he could do considering he killed baby Drew.

He wasn’t supposed to have these kind of thoughts.

It had been so long and he was under your spell.

After the group meeting, he had to hustle back to his home - a small home attached to the rectory. He made quick work of removing his clothes. He hissed as grasped his aching cock. Stroke, stroke, stroke.

Self pleasure was also a no-no.

Masturbation involved lust. It’s to use another person for your own selfish pleasure. The person becomes an object and it denigrates their dignity as a human being.

When he was around you, he wanted to throw everything into the wind. The image of your soaked tits haunted him. He threw his head back as he continued to jerk himself. Desire. You made him fucking feral.

He imagined kissing you after the meeting the second you and him were alone.

His lips crushed against yours. He pressed your back against the wall, his knee parting your legs.

One hand tangled in your hair, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot of your skin.

It was as if you released a part of him that he had kept tucked away for so long.

He stripped away your top, before mouthing your tits before dropping to his knees. Your hand moved through his hair.

“Taste me,” you’d beg. You’d beg so nicely and who was he to deny his lamb?

He imagined grabbing your ass, pulling your dripping pussy to his mouth. You would drape a leg over his shoulder, grounding yourself hard against his mouth.

“Fuck, right there. Just like that.”

He would put his thumb on your clit, rubbing circles as he pushed his tongue inside, tasting, licking, and sucking.

“You like that?”

“Yes,” you’d moan. “Don’t stop. Oh God, I am going to come. Please, fuck me.”

He would undo his belt and drop his pants, grasping his cock in his hand. He’d rub the head of his cock along your folds, teasing you until neither one of you could stand it before burying himself deep inside of you.

“I want everything you’ve got. I want to feel it all.”

“Is that what my little lamb wants? To be fucked hard like a whore?”

“Yes,” you’d beg. “Please.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”

“Come for me little lamb,” he’d encourage. You’d fall apart at his words. He could imagine how your wet, soft, pussy would suck his cock in, deeper and deeper. He would imagine thrusting deep and hard, his cock dragging against your sweet spot. He’d come hard, deep inside of you, his come painting your walls.

In reality he grunted and groaned as his cock kicked. He came all over his hand and belly. He panted, waiting for his breath to even out.

‘Shit.’

—

It was a gloomy Tuesday morning as Rafael worked in his office. Homilies were a lot like closing arguments. Instead of trying to sway the jury, he had to connect with his congregants. Instead of evidence, it was the gospel.

He was distracted. His mind kept wandering to you. Were you some kind of a test for him?

You were under his skin. An itch that couldn’t be scratched. Or stroked. You had consumed his thoughts.

He tore the yellow sheet off the pad before crumpling it.

Rafael tried very hard to live a holy life, especially as he had known what life was like, could be like, outside of the church.

And until now, through God’s grace, he had done very well.

He looked at the time. Confession was to start soon. Confession wasn’t popular. Usually before the bigger high holidays, people would come in droves. But a regular, run of the mill Tuesday? Not a chance.

He had his regulars though, who would come without fail. They were long standing members of the community. Being bilingual was a big boost for the church.

Rafael put on his collar, and changed into dark slacks from jeans and then headed out.

—-

You peeked into the booth. Seeing that it was empty, you made your way in and sat down.

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been… um, years since my last confession.”

Rafael was stunned. It was you.

‘Focus.’

You began with some menial, ordinary sins. Rafael focused on what you were saying, ignoring the throb of his cock.

“And, of course, this… all leads to the most wicked one.”

Rafael swallowed hard. “Go on.”

“I’ve been thinking about you.”

“Me?” Rafael questioned. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’ “What do you mean?”

“You’re so kind and thoughtful. I probably shouldn’t say this because it’s so inappropriate, but you’re so fucking handsome. And it’s resulted in some wicked behavior.”

“Wicked how?” His hands ball into fists before he grabs the tops of his thighs hard, trying to steel his thoughts.

“I— I’m sorry. I need to go.” You’re stammering over your words, your heart racing.

Rafael heard the panic in your voice and he frowned. The confessional creaked as you stood. Rafael was filled with an overwhelming need to get you to stay. “We all sin. Including myself. God made us imperfect and can he really get to be disappointed in us when we do imperfect things?”

“I— I’ve never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. And I am filled with despair about wanting what I can’t have,” you reply softly. “What can I do about this? Can I say 10 Hail Mary’s or something?”

You continue. “And can I be absolved if I don’t feel bad about what I’ve done or said in the past? They’re all things I wanted to do.”

Rafael wracked his mind on what to say.

And before he could, he heard you open the door and leave. He stood quickly and pushed open the curtain. But it was too late. You were already gone.

—

Sunday mass came like clockwork.

As Rafael led mass, he scanned the pews for you. He was disappointed when he didn’t see you. He saw your friend and he made a mental note to talk with her afterwards.

“Fr. Barba, great service,” Maria commented as she shook Fr. Barba’s hand.

“Thank you. I- I am glad you came. You had been coming with your friend—“

“Oh! You mean — yeah, she couldn’t come today. She had some stuff to take care of. She’s new to the area and I know she could really use the community support,” Maria replied. She looked past Rafael and smiled brightly. “Oh there she is!”

Maria called your name. Rafael turned around and he saw you across the street. You were dressed more conservatively and he felt a wave of disappointment.

You half jogged across the street and before Rafael knew it, you had materialized in front of him.

“Hi,” you greeted as you tucked your hair behind your ear. “Sorry to have missed mass.”

“It’s okay,” Rafael laughed. “It’s not like God is keeping tabs.”

You smiled. Maria turned to you. “Was just telling Fr. Barba how you could use some community.”

“Uh,” you blanched. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, help is always needed at the community center or food pantry,” Rafael offered. “Meet plenty of people that way.”

“Yeah, sure. I - I saw in the bulletin you were looking for someone to go over your books.”

Rafael shifted. “Um, I was looking more for a CPA—“

“Well you are in luck!” Maria hit your arm. “You’ve got your own CPA here.”

“I-I am not a CPA. I was treasurer of my sorority years ago,” you explained. “But I lost my job and I need money,” you shrugged. “That’s all.”

Rafael sighed and rubbed his neck. As much as Olivia was a bleeding heart, he was too, especially with his roots. “Um, stop by the rectory sometime next week and we can talk it through.”

You smiled brightly. “Oh that would be great! Really! Thank you.”

Rafael nodded. You turned to Maria. “We have to go. Reservations?”

Other congregants had started to line up to speak with Rafael. He turned towards the line, but not without glancing back, watching you walk away.

Rafael admired you from behind, appreciating how your jeans hugged you in all of the right places. A flash of heat coursed through him.

‘God damnit, what are you doing?’

—

You never came by. Or to mass. Rafael thought you might have had a change of heart. Perhaps your flirtation with religion had flamed out. He found himself longing to see you but also increasingly frustrated with himself. He busied himself as much as possible so that he couldn’t even think of you. You were the absolute last thing on his mind.

When you rapped on his door two and a half weeks later, Rafael was more than surprised. He was downright startled, like a horse with thunder. He had been knee deep in the church’s financial books.

“I’m sorry, I hope I am not intruding. I know it’s late.”

Rafael relaxed. “No, not at all. Please, come in, sit.”

You slunk in the chair with ease and eyed Rafael’s outfit. “You don’t look like a priest.”

Rafael arched a thick brow. “And what do I look like?”

“Like a regular guy. Someone I would meet at a bar,” you shrugged as you waved your arm as if to make a point. Rafael was wearing dark jeans with a button down, sleeves rolled up and brown brogues.

Rafael laughed. “Well, there was a point in my life where you would have found me there. Speaking of bars, would you care for a drink?”

“I thought priests could only drink church wine.”

Rafael laughed again. “No, no, we can drink more than church wine.” You heard the clatter of glass and the sound of liquid pouring. “Here,” Rafael turned to you, his arm outstretched, holding a lowball glass with amber liquid. “Macallan 18.”

You took it from him and swirled the liquid before sniffing. You closed your eyes as you took a sip. You hummed, pleased. “This is good. Dangerously good.” You took another sip. “Oh this goes down way too easy.”

‘I bet my cock will go down easy.’

Rafael coughed and shook his head. “Uh, yeah, it does.” He took a large swallow of his glass and then poured himself another glass.

“You’re wondering why I’m here now. Instead of two weeks ago.”

Rafael perched himself on the corner of his desk. “I am.”

“I wish I had a reason that made sense, but I don’t. The truth is…” you glanced around the office and it became very apparent that the room was decorated more like a legal office than what you assumed an office in a church would be like.

“The truth is?” Rafael prodded.

You stood and started walking around the room. Your hand trailed the spines of the stacks of books lined up. It was then when you spotted the law degree in the corner.

“Wait - you are a lawyer? And a priest? How does that work?”

“Was,” Rafael clarified, before taking a long sip of his drink. “Was a lawyer.”

“You don’t practice anymore?”

“No,” Rafael shook his head. “Not anymore.”

You walked up to the bar cart and poured yourself another drink. You took the chair and pulled it until you were sitting directly in front of Rafael. “Tell me.”

Hours passed. Rafael unloaded everything on you - his time at SVU, baby Drew, the why to choose a life of faith.

And that bottle of Macallan?

You stood very close to Rafael. Your hands pressed on his chest. You swayed slightly and Rafael placed his hands on your hips, steadying you.

“Hire me. I’m really good with numbers.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “We aren’t going to have sex.”

You scoffed, before almost losing your footing. Rafael’s hands gripped your hips tightly. “Who said anything about us having sex?”

“Do you think I don’t realize what game you’re playing?”

“Game? I’m not playing a game. I need a job.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

You rolled your eyes. “I am not. Besides, do you even know how?”

Rafael pushed you away slightly. “Did you not just hear the story of my life?”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Father.”

“The how?”

You walked back and closed the gap between you and him. “Yeah. The how. To fuck.”

Rafael’s eyes darken. He cupped your face and you leaned into his palm. He slowly walked around and behind you. He dropped his mouth to your ear. “I know how to fuck. I’ve fucked plenty. Men. Women. I know how to make someone come.”

A rumble emanated from Rafael’s chest. You spun on your heels and looked up at him. Rafael loomed over you, your eyes growing wide. Your breath hitched. “Is that so?”

Your faces were inches apart. You were breathing each other's air, growing dizzy over the shared breath. Your heart was thumping and you were so needy in that moment you thought you were going to burst.

“Little lamb, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

You let out a whine. “Please.”

Rafael lifted your chin with his finger. Your eyes searched his before settling on his lips. His beautiful pink lips that you knew they knew how to kiss. And lick. And fuck. And make someone come.

“You’re a good priest Father Barba,” you whispered. “But you’re also a good man. And doesn’t a good man deserve a little indulgence every now and then?”

The tension in the room was thick, the air electric. You almost felt moved to tears in the desperate way you wanted him. And he wanted you.

The sound of sirens blaring broke the spell. You both jumped apart. You both stared at each other. Rafael couldn’t help but notice that you were flushed, and that flush was making its way down. You worried your bottom lip.

“It’s late,” you rushed. “I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time.”

You spun on your heels and was about to dash out the door when Rafael gripped your wrist, pausing you in the middle of the door.

You looked back up at him with wide eyes.

“You start Monday,” Rafael gruffed. You nodded, unable to say anything.

You managed to squeak out an ‘okay.’ And before you realized it, the door was shut in your face.

—

Your first week was completely uneventful. As is the next. And the week after. You’re the epitome of well behaved and professional much to Rafael’s relief.

That still didn’t mean he didn’t imagine kissing you and then some. Or how when you leaned over his desk, he didn’t imagine lifting up your skirt and plowing into you. Or that when you chewed on your pen cap, he didn’t imagine his cock between your plump, soft lips.

Under the collar, he still was very much a man.

And you didn’t let him forget it. He lost track of the amount of times he had to get himself off. And still it didn’t nothing to quell the ache for you.

You threw yourself into the work and you actually found it quite fulfilling. You made plenty of friends and found yourself volunteering in other parts of the church - like working at the food pantry or singing as part of the church choir.

Summer ebbed into Fall. The air grew cooler. The days started to grow shorter and the leaves, once a vibrant green, were now tinged with yellow and orange, painting the city in a fiery palette.

You were working in the rectory that morning. When Myra, the arthritic receptionist, ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, you eagerly took over the job. You were busy enough with church duties as it was but it made sense for you to take over.

Utilizing your skills from past work experience, you ended up bringing St. Blaise into the 21st century thanks to Intuit and Microsoft.

Since you started, the more Rafael was able to get to know you. In turn, the more he wanted you. He did everything in his power to not even look at you for too long, at least when you were not not looking. It was hard - but Rafael was a glutton for punishment. Being around you made Rafael addicted.

It did seem as if you heeded his words - you were the utmost professional. You did such a good job that Rafael wondered if maybe he had misread the signals altogether and that one night was just the booze.

Then one particular evening, Rafael saw you walking with Maria, her boyfriend, and another gentleman. He didn’t want to stop and say hi - if anything he wanted to avoid it altogether and cross the street but you and him made eye contact. It would have been too awkward to avoid you by that point. It ended with the five of you at the local watering hole - where this gentleman who had his arm wrapped around you. Rafael didn’t enjoy how jealousy washed over him - he knew he did not have any right to you, or your body. And he would never be - you were never together like that.

You were waiting at the bar, ordering another round when Rafael joined you. You looked over at him and gave a small smile.

“So you’re on date then?”

You looked at him incredulously. “Rafael—“

“You live here, you can go on any dates and with whom.”

“He’s just— you and I— we never…

The bartender arrived with your drinks. You went to pay, but Rafael stopped you. “I got it.”

“Don’t you have to take a vow of poverty?” you asked as you grabbed some of the drinks. Rafael grabbed the remainder and the two of you walked back to the booth.

“One of the most common misconceptions about the Catholic priesthood is that all priests take a vow of poverty. In fact, most do not. Diocesan priests do not even make vows, they make “promises” of obedience to their bishop: chastity and to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. Vows, on the other hand, are typically made by members of religious orders, such as Franciscans, Benedictines, Dominicans, etc.”

You nodded. “Got it.”

You walked ahead of Rafael, a sway in your hips as you did so. Rafael’s eyes narrowed and he sucked in a breath as he followed, exhaling slowly.

When your date - Eric - as he later learned - began mouthing off about theology and religion, Rafael rolled his eyes. Still, he wasn’t going to let himself get bested and using the skills he acquired from all the cross examinations he had ever done, basically annihilated the other guy. You snickered behind the glass of your drink but Rafael saw it and felt his chest puff.

At one point - Eric whispered something in your ear. Whatever he said was enough to make you blush and shift in your seat, smiling to yourself like you had a secret. Rafael didn’t miss it at all and he felt himself stiffen and his jaw tighten. Your eyes met once more, and you witnessed the visceral reaction he was having, saw that little flex of his jaw and the way his eyes glittered with something primal and possessive. You could see that part of him would gladly punch Eric, and even as Rafael’s eyes locked with yours, he didn't hide it. Briefly, the kind and generous priest was all gone. Even the smart and sassy lawyer was superseded: you saw the man, capable of lust and jealousy. Over you. The thought of inspiring those feelings in him made heat pool in your body, and you squeezed your thighs together. His eyes registered your expression: you were certain he knew how you felt.

By end of the night, you went to hug him good night but Rafael dodged you. You frowned and bid him adieu as he dipped his head in acknowledgement. Rafael continued to head home - and had he turned around, he would have seen you still standing, watching him.

Another week went by.

The pounding on the door stirred Rafael awake. He looked over at the clock - it was a little after midnight. A breeze blew through, causing a chill to run through his body.

He tugged a t-shirt on and groused that he was on his way.

Rafael was not expecting to see you.

“Father,” you greeted. There was a very large bottle of Macallan in your hand. Your eyes trailed over the very sleepy priest in front of you. His hair was askew and he looked adorable. You swallowed at his tight white shirt and low slung gray sweats.

“What is going on?” Rafael asked. He reached in his pocket for his glasses.

“Fancy a chat about my existential crisis?” You thrusted the bottle of scotch into his arms and walked in, pushing slightly past him.

Rafael got a whiff of your shampoo and it sent all blood straight immediately to his cock. He looks back outside and satisfied not seeing anyone else, closes the door behind him. “Existential crisis?”

“Do you have any glasses?” You ask, ignoring his question, as you look around. You hadn’t ever been inside a priest’s dwelling and you were surprised at how normal it appeared.

“Wow.” You stopped misstep and looked around. “This is not what I expected.”

Rafael rubbed his neck. “Huh? Oh, what did you expect it to look like?”

“I don’t know. More holy? Crosses everywhere. Stacks of bibles? Not something out of an architectural digest - with a kitchen island!”

Rafael laughed. He took the bottle from your hand and walked over to the island where he placed the glasses. “A lot of this is from…” he waved his arm around. “Before.”

“Pre-priest Rafael.” You clarified as you walked over to where he was and took an amber filled glass.

“Yeah,” Rafael replied before taking a long drag of his drink.

You nodded and hummed before taking another sip. “When you were just a man. Who had sex. A lot.”

“I’m still a man.”

“Come on, you know it’s not the same.”

You knew better. You knew you shouldn’t.

What would your friends say, what would they do if they ever find out? What about the congregation and surrounding community?

This was bigger than you, bigger than him. What were you thinking?

But it’s Rafael. Fr. Rafael Barba. Not that it matters - he’s not actually yours. He belongs to God.

But now when he’s staring down at you the way he is right now, teeth catching his full bottom lip, sleep-tousled hair and stormy, smoldering eyes, you can’t help but fall from grace.

“Kiss me.”

“You know we can’t.”

“So? Kiss me anyway.”

“I’m a priest.”

“Kiss me anyway.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

Rafael swallowed the remainder of his drink and let out a huff. He pointed a finger toward you. “You…you’re trouble.”

You closed the gap between you and him. The room felt electric. You pressed your hands onto his chest. “So? Kiss me anyway.”

Rafael sucked in a breath. You press yourself even closer, your hips automatically seeking his. Rafael pushed you away gently. “I told you we can’t. I told you I can’t.”

“Why are you denying what’s between us?” Your hands shook as you poured yourself another glass. You turned and leaned against the island. “God made us to be sexual creatures. It’s his design. It’s his idea, his gift to us.”

Rafael sighed in irritation. “Our sexual desires are no surprise to God. He made us, and He gave us a strong sexual desire to enjoy within the proper context.” He pointed to you and then to himself. “This is not the proper context. If I wasn’t a priest, then it would be different. This is real life. What we do has real consequences.”

“If you weren’t a priest,” you murmured. You swallowed the remainder of your drink and slammed it on the island. Warmth flooded your body and you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or him or a combination of both. Likely the latter. “Tell me you want me. Tell me I was never imagining things.”

Rafael remained silent.

“You have the right to lose control. I know you think—”

“You don’t know what I think,” Rafael acerbically spat. “And no, I don’t have the right.” He began to pace. “You don’t know the misery I live in when you’re not around.”

“And you think I am not?” you questioned. Your voice wavered and your eyes welled with unshed tears. “It’s never been like this with anyone. Never. I want you. I can’t have you. But please - let me live in the solace that you want me too. That I was never imagining any of it. I am going crazy.”

Rafael paused mid-stride and looked at you. He took a deep breath.

“What’s it gonna be? I am begging you.”

It was like something in him snapped when you said that. Rafael slammed his own drink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He walked over and pressed you against the island. You let out a squeak in response. You could feel how hard he was against your belly. He brushed some of your hair back. Your breath hitched and a flush spread along your skin.

“Say it again.”

“Tell me you want me.”

“No - repeat what you said at the end,” he all but growled. You chewed your bottom lip and nodded.

“I beg you.”

“God help me. You beg so prettily,” Rafael murmured. He pulled at you, hands grabbing at hips, lips crashing into yours in a bruising kiss. It was over before you could register and you pulled back to look into his eyes. You wrapped your hands on his face and then dove back in, returning the kiss, equally as hard.

The momentum was desperate, frenzied, hands everywhere. You let out a gasp as Rafael backed you against the kitchen island. The scruff of his beard dragged against your skin, his lips working your jaw, your ear, moving down your neck, and you let out a strained moan. You pressed your hips upwards into his, feeling his erection. Rafael had to stop and inhale sharply before resuming his attack on your skin. The tips of his fingers find skin under your shirt, and dig into your flesh. One of your hands is twisted in his shirt, the other grasping the waistband of his sweats as he felt a leg curve around his; it was as if your body functioned in tune to keep him as close as possible.

Rafael’s lips found purchase on the hollow of your neck. You let out a groan as you sagged against him, melting into his embrace. The want was overwhelming.

His hands made way to the front of your jeans and he nimbly undid the button and fly before shoving his large hand down your panties. “So wet for me.”

And you are. You’re so fucking wet, it’s obscene.

The tips of his fingers drag through your slit.

“Fuck,” his teeth scraped along your jaw. “You’re soaking.”

He slid two fingers deep inside of you. You keened wordlessly into his shoulder, biting down on his shoulder to suppress a moan.

“No, no, pretty lamb. Look at me,” Rafael husked, his voice laced with an edge of dominance.

You pulled back and met his gaze. His fingers drove deep up into you, pumping, long and needy. His thumb rubbed against your clit. Your blood is boiling, your body vibrating. You’re close. You know it. He knows it. His fingers continue their momentum, finding that spongey spot inside of you that most folks couldn’t ever find.

The walls of your pussy ripple against his fingers. “Be a good little lamb and come for me.” It was Rafael’s turn to beg. “Be my good girl and give it to me.”

You chanted his name as if it were prayer as you come around his fingers. Your body is abuzz, vibrating. You whine out his name in three syllables as you coat his hand with your arousal. Rafael swallowed your cries as he covered your mouth with his. The kiss, which was initially passionate, slowed in intensity, to just soft, slow licks that almost felt reverent, worshipful. Eventually he pressed his forehead to yours and you both drank in each other’s air, breathing heavily. You whimpered as Rafael removed his fingers from your cunt. You watched him with wide eyes as he slipped his fingers into his mouth. His eyes fluttered close as he let out an appreciative sound.

“Do I taste good, Father?” Your voice was laced with lust.

“My sweet, decadent little lamb,” Rafael complimented. “But we cannot do that again.”

“Do what?” You asked as you pushed him off slightly to give yourself room to drop to the floor. You palmed his cock through his pants, pleased with yourself as he groaned with want and need.

A car backfired and the sound caused you both to startle, effectively ending the spell. Rafael helped you up from the ground. “This cannot happen again.” His voice was firm. And before you could protest any more, you found yourself back outside, the door shutting in your face.

Rafael leaned against the door, his head pounding, his cock aching.

‘You idiot! You shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have given in to your melodic voice and sparkling eyes. You had no business being in his life.

But the crack he left open for you made him believe that he had more to lose now than when he met you at the block party all those moons ago.

He rubbed his face, tired and frustrated. And he went back to bed to once again to take matters in his own hands again. ‘Fuck.’

TBC.

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detectivesvu · 5 months ago

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Flirtatious Fate

Rafael Barba x Fem! Detective! Reader Tags: Near smut. Lots of flirting. Barba and Reader almost get caught. Sonny being a great advice giver. Word Count: 6.5k "And what if we are? Would that be such a bad thing?"

It wasn't at all uncommon for the counselor to work overtime.

Rafael more than likely worked more overtime hours than any of the attorneys in the whole building. He lived for his work, so it was no shock that it was nearly 8:00 o'clock and he was still buried in his work with no intention of going anywhere anytime soon. Most of the building had thinned out. All the people who were much better at maintaining a work-life balance had left hours ago - leaving Rafael as practically the only one left. Not that he minded, he could always work better alone.

But he didn't mind having some company. There were a few faces that he always was always welcome to and would always make time for...especially one in particular.

His attention was stolen away from his work when there was a knock on his open door, obviously indicating that someone was there to see him. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who pulled a lot of overtime hours.

He knew exactly who was at his door just by the specific sound of the knock. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did - and his heart fluttered at the knowledge of the person at his door.

Their relationship was complicated, although neither of them realized that the way they acted toward one another made things a gray area. They simply believe they were colleagues...friendly colleagues at best. Somehow, neither of them really realized that their dynamic came from a much more personal and emotional place.

Nonetheless, he was happy she was there...even though he didn't realize it.

"Come in, detective." He said, without even giving a glance up from what he was working on.

A genuine smile was on the detective's face at the sound of his invitation. She entered the room with a cup of coffee in each hand, her foot kicking the door closed behind her as she entered. She was alone in her entrance, and the fact that her partner wasn't with her let him know this wasn't a business visit.

“Counselor,” She greeted. “Do you have time for coffee and a chat?”

If there was any single person in the world who could outdrink Rafael Barba when it came to coffee - it was [Y/N]. She could drink coffee at any time of day and could put down at least four cups a day. That was one thing they shared - they worked a lot and ran on nothing much pure passion for their job and heavy amounts of caffeine.

Rafael looked at her then, curious and intrigued. He wondered where her partner was, considering she was still dressed in her work attire, which also let him know she wasn't done working for the day.

"Be my guest," He gestured to the chair opposite his desk, leaning back in his own seat knowing he was about to be distracted completely. "What brings you here?"

She approached him, handing him a hot latte that was fresh and just to his liking. As coffee connoisseurs, they had entertained plenty of coffee conversations in the past. He wasn't really at all shocked that she knew his preference in coffee. He watched her from over the rim of his cup as she sat down with her own drink, clearly very comfortable in his presence.

"Carisi is upstairs talking to someone, so I figured I'd stop by and say hello." She said casually, but the sparkle in her eye let him know she had come by for more than a quick greeting.

A small smirk appeared on his face when he caught that look in her eyes. He knew her too well. She was here for a bigger reason. They were always usually very to the point with each other. They saw no reason to waste time when she was here with a purpose.

"Is that so? You came all this way just to say 'hello' to me?" He asked, a hint of playfulness in his normally dry tone.

She shrugged, a knowing grin appearing on her face as she ran her finger absentmindedly around the lid of her cup.

"Well..." She began. "I might have something interesting to tell you."

Now this made more sense. The coffee, the late visit, the giddiness. She was here to gossip - a habit that she frequently and flat out denied that she ever took part in.

"Okay," He nodded, his smirk now turning more curious. "Don't keep me in suspense."

She set her coffee down on his desk, now sitting up completely straight as she used both her hands to talk. He knew she had something big if she was this focused.

"You know how I'm kind of friends with the secretary on the fifth floor of the precinct?" She asked, jogging his memory. "Remember how I was telling you she had been acting strange?"

Rafael's eyes darted around the room as he racked his brain. mentally sorting through hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations the two of them had shared until he placed it.

"Yeah, you said she was acting secretive or something like that." He remembered, albeit vaguely.

"Right! You know I'm not one to gossip," She said, and Rafael had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at that comment. "But she's pregnant!"

Let the records show, Rafael had never met this said secretary before. The only things he knew about her were things that [Y/N] had disclosed to him, but evidently she had shared just enough with him for him to be all in on this revelation.

"No way," He tilted his head. "How do you know?"

"She told me!" She remarked. "I really couldn't believe it. I knew something was different about her. I had to come tell you when I could because you were the only person who agreed with me that something was up."

His heart fluttered again at that. It was purely just convenience that had brought her to his office that night, but it still made him shudder to think she had reserved a conversation solely for him.

"It seems we were right then," He took another sip, his eyebrows knitting together when he realized something. "Didn't you tell me she was single?"

There was a brief silence as she only shared a certain look with him. Her silence answered his question completely.

"Ah, so that's the crux of it all," He said, figuring he might as well fully emerge himself in this gossip session. "So, I'm guessing you have information on who the father is?"

"No," She shook her head. "I'm still working on that one...but I have a few guesses."

"Let's hear them." He encouraged her.

Normally, it would've been so unusual for Rafael to engage in this kind of talk. He didn't rightly care what a stranger to him had going on in their personal life...but he didn't like them the way he liked the detective sitting pretty in front of him, genuinely enjoying conversing with him on any given day.

"The rumor on the fifth floor is that it's a cop over in narcotics..." She took a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. "But that said cop has been gone for nearly six months. I don’t think the math adds up.”

Rafael considered her statement, nodding in agreement and urging her to continue.

"My other guess is a bit far-fetched, but not unreasonable," She said. "A few weeks ago she went home to Chicago to visit her family, and I remember her mentioning to me that she was thinking about paying an old flame of hers a visit..."

"Oh, that's interesting...and certainly a possibility, I suppose." He replied. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's all I got," She shrugged. "I am being unfair. I shouldn't be making a conversation out of her business."

Rafael chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, we all indulge in a little nosy talk here and there." He said, feeling a pang of disappointment knowing this conversation was coming to an end.

“I know, I know. That’s really all I know," She reached for her coffee cup again. "But enough about me. How are things going here?”

He chuckled when she changed the subject, noticing her eyes lingering on his. He should've known she had something else locked and loaded.

"Things here are…as expected," he said, gesturing to the stacks of files on his desk. "Too many cases, too little time." He picked up his coffee, taking a sip before continuing. "But I always manage, one way or another."

“That you do, counselor.” She grinned. “This case has been a tough one…how are you holding up?”

He leaned back in his chair, a weary smile on his face.

"You know how it is." He said, and that was all he needed to say for her to completely understand.

"That I do," She sighed. "After all these years, I've never quite mastered dealing with everything we see."

"It's not easy, that's for sure," He said. "But I must say, you've handled yourself quite well in difficult situations, detective."

“I try my best,” She shrugged. “Some days I wonder if I should've stuck with my college job."

"Which was...?" He probed.

"Bartending," She confessed. "Also a stressful job, but nothing like doing police work."

This was new information to him. He actually didn't know that about her. He chuckled, imagining her in a bar apron, wiping down tables and listening to drunken rants.

"I could see that." He teased, a playful smile on his face. "But then we would be missing out on your skills as a detective."

She gave a small laugh, but didn't respond just yet. They sat in a comfortable silence, the conversation fizzling out before a new one blossomed.

"Maybe I need a vacation." She said in a way that seemed random, but this was usually how their conversations went. They would start on one topic and then end up somewhere completely different within minutes.

He took the opportunity to tease her, something that was also very common for their interactions.

"From SVU or from me?" He joked, the playful banter coming easy between them.

"Oh, never from you, Rafael." She matched his tone, his first name sliding off her tongue like it was something she said often.

He felt a brief flash of surprise when she used his first name, but he quickly recovered and played along with the banter.

"Careful, detective. That sounds almost affectionate." He teased.

She scoffed at that, an entertained smile on her face.

"We work for the law. We hardly have time to be affectionate in any regard." She said, and it was completely true.

"Yet here we are, two busy people making time for each other." He took a sip of his coffee, then looked at her with a more serious expression. "But you're right, it's not easy to balance work and personal life. Especially in our line of work."

“I can relate. Somehow you and my co-workers are the only people I really talk to,” She spoke, her voice soft. “Not…that I mind talking to you. Who else is going to tell you the neighborhood gossip?”

He smiled, genuinely flattered that she considered him one of her few friends.

"I must admit," he said, a hint of jest in his voice. "I do enjoy hearing your neighborhood gossip. It breaks up the monotony of the legal jargon."

“I imagine it does,” She returned a smile. “Maybe eventually we’ll figure out how to balance work and personal lives. Figure out how to do something other than work.”

Clearly they often toed the line between being professional, being casual, and being flirtatious. This was their norm. Everybody who knew them wouldn't even bat an eye at this conversation between them. But what Rafael said next would've raised a few brows. He wasn't sure what made him say it. Maybe it was the late hour or the moment just felt right, but he made a remark that couldn't have been confused as anything other than personal.

"Maybe we will. It's about time we started making time for ourselves." He paused, then said with a teasing smile. "And each other."

Her gaze fixed on him, her eyes slightly squinted as she smirked at him. She wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. Neither of them had ever crossed this line before. They were both aware that this was a new level of comfort with one another.

“Counselor, are you flirting with me?”

A sly smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he held her gaze.

"And if I was, detective?" He retorted.

“Mark me as surprised,” She said. “But flattered.”

They were both confident people...stubborn at times too. There would be no backing down from this. He chuckled, enjoying the back and forth banter. He leaned a bit closer in his chair, his smile growing wider.

"Is that so? You're not going to accuse me of being unprofessional?"

“That would make me a hypocrite. Me waltzing in here and gossiping about my coworker is unprofessional,” She leaned forward. “I consider this a flirtatious and pleasant conversation.”

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her words. He leaned closer as well, his voice a little lower now.

"Just a pleasant conversation, hm? You're not going to tell your other coworkers about this little chat?"

This situation was turning and it was turning fast. It had gone from casual to playful, and now they were trodding in a territory they had never ventured to before. This was different, but neither were backing down.

“Not at all, Counselor, if the thought of someone knowing bothers you so much.” She stood from her chair, eyes locked on him.

His smirk grew wider as she stood up, his eyes never leaving hers.

"It doesn't bother me at all." He assured her, rising to his feet as well. He moved around the desk, closing the distance between them. "In fact, I quite enjoy these little chats of ours."

“If we aren’t careful, we might become the precinct gossip.” She looked up at him, eyes sparkling.

He chuckled, finding the idea of being the source of gossip in the precinct strangely amusing. He took a step closer, his voice a low murmur as he spoke.

"And what if we are? Would that be such a bad thing?"

“Well, I would be getting a taste of my own medicine I suppose,” She said, realizing their noses were nearly touching. “Amongst other things.”

He let out a soft exhale, feeling his heart rate quicken at her close proximity. The air between them felt electrified.

"And those other things would be?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Whatever you suggest we do to ‘make time for each other’?” She said smoothly. “What did you have in mind?”

He chuckled, his gaze locked with hers. He reached out with a slow, tentative hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The feel of her skin under his fingers sent a shiver down his spine.

"I have plenty of ideas," he said, his voice low and filled with promise, "but we should probably discuss them somewhere more… private."

“Are you thinking private thoughts, Counselor?” She replied.

He leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping to a sultry whisper.

"What do you think, detective?" His hand moved to her cheek, his thumb tracing a gentle line along her jawline. The proximity was intoxicating, and he couldn’t resist the urge to toy with her a bit more.

“I’m thinking a couple of drinks over dinner,” She said, her voice supple and sultry. “Dessert at my place.”

He chuckled, his eyes darkening with desire at her words. He lifted his other hand, gently cupping her face, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks. He leaned even closer, his lips grazing against her ear as he whispered.

"Sounds like a perfect plan."

“Don’t you want to know what you’ll be having for dessert?” She asked, her control getting close to wobbling.

His lips curled into a sinful smile, the double meaning behind her words and the shiver in her voice were all the invitation he needed. He moved even closer, his breath hot against her ear, his voice huskier than before.

"Show me, detective. I’m absolutely starving."

She smiled an awfully sultry grin, her teeth toying with her bottom lip as she whispered.

“You’re looking at it.”

His eyes darkened with a mixture of restraint and desire, a low growl rumbling in his chest. He was losing control, his hands gripping her face a bit tighter now.

"Careful, detective. If you keep talking like that, I'll have you right now on this desk."

Fire was burning between them. Their minds were racing and hearts were pounding with the knowledge of where this was going. Neither cared to try and figure out how this was happening so fast. Neither of them needed to. They just knew something between them was mutual and it was coming out in full force.

He backed her into the desk, the backs of her thighs pressed against the edge of the desk. Her hands came to start working on getting his tie off, his hands planted high on her thighs underneath her skirt. Her lips brushed against his as her breathing became heavy, the two of them mere milliseconds from going at it when there was a knock on his office door and it creaked open.

Both Rafael and the detective froze, the moment shattered by the intrusion. Rafael took a moment to compose himself, his face flushing with a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as he attempted to conceal the fact that they had been just seconds away from being intimate on his desk.

He cleared his throat and took a few steps back, allowing some space between them. They both were quick to readjust themselves, totally coming back to reality of what just almost happened. Her heart was hammering away in her chest, her cheeks tinted pink as she adjusted her skirt. The intruder was none other than her detective partner, Sonny Carisi, who was blissfully unaware that he was just barely seconds away from walking in on his partner and his squad's counselor going at it.

Sonny stepped into the office, his expression serious. However, he hadn’t yet noticed the tense atmosphere in the room or the telltale signs of intimacy that were still evident on Rafael and the detective’s faces. He approached Rafael, his eyes fixed on the district attorney.

"Counselor...we have an issue with one of the witnesses in the case. Can I have a word?"

She was trying to hold her composure, acting like she wasn’t just about to get down and dirty with the counselor. Rafael took a deep breath, attempting to compose himself. The interruption had cooled the heat between them a bit, but the tension in the room was still palpable. He cleared his throat and addressed Sonny, his voice slightly strained as he tried to keep it together.

"Yeah...w-what's the issue with the witness?"

She could hardly stand to be in the room anymore. She was having a hard time processing how an innocent conversation turned so hot so quickly. Rafael had never expressed that kind of feeling with her. They had never gotten that close before. Sure, they faintly flirted, but never so outright before. She was overwhelmed, and now she felt like she needed some air.

“Sonny, you finish up here,” She said, her voice a bit shaky from the adrenaline. “I’m…I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Sonny's eyes flicked between Barba and the detective, sensing that there was more going on than he was aware of. He was puzzled by her shaky voice, and something about the tension in the room felt odd, but he didn’t have time to question it. As the detective made her way out of the room, Rafael's gaze followed her, a mixture of disappointment and concern etched on his face as she left.

Rafael had never shared that kind of moment with her. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where it had come from. Sure, he liked her and favored her, but he had never made a move on her before. But in all fairness, she had never reciprocated quite like that.

Rafael couldn’t deny that the moment with her had been explosive, a spark igniting between them that he hadn’t expected. He had always liked her, but this was a whole different level of attraction. Her response to him had triggered a deep, intense desire that he couldn’t ignore. As Sonny continued to talk, Rafael struggled to focus on the conversation, his mind going back to the moment they had shared just moments before.

He just wanted to help Sonny and get him out of his office so he could handle this. But of course, Sonny always needed to know everything.

“Is…everything alright between you and her, Counselor?”

Rafael flinched, snapped out of his thoughts by Sonny's question. He blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat, trying to hide his preoccupation.

"Yeah, everything's just fine, Carisi," he said, his tone a little guarded. "Why do you ask?"

“I’ve never seen her run out like that. Especially when you’re around,” Sonny remarked.

Rafael shifted uneasily in his chair as he sat down, the observation not being lost on him. He tried to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

"I suppose she just had something to take care of. She seemed… in a hurry." He said, his words sounding unconvincing even to him.

Sonny didn’t believe him. He knew his partner, and he could tell when someone was lying. Something had happened in this office before he came in.

Rafael realized that Sonny wasn’t buying his response, and he silently cursed himself for not being more convincing. The air in the room felt heavy, and he knew he had to change the subject or risk further questioning.

"Is there anything else you needed to discuss regarding the case, Detective Carisi?" Rafael asked, trying to sound as impassive as possible.

Sonny caught the way Rafael changed the subject. He wasn’t getting anything from Rafael, so he decided to try his partner, who was downstairs waiting for him.

“No...alright…” Sonny said. “We’ll…we’ll be in touch.”

Rafael nodded, a slight look of relief on his face as Sonny seemed to accept the change in topic. As Sonny turned to leave, Rafael couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry about what might happen once he spoke to the detective.

He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts, but his mind was still buzzing from the encounter that had just taken place, and the uncertainty of what would happen next gnawed at him. Sonny wasted no time getting to the elevator, taking it to the ground floor. Sure enough, she was standing just outside on the sidewalk, her hand resting over her chest as she took slow deep breaths of the cold New York air.

She let the cold air of New York City fill her lungs, the chill helping to clear her mind. She tried to steady her rapid heartbeat, still shaken by the intensity of the moment she and Rafael had shared. The thought of what might have happened if Sonny hadn’t walked in sent a shudder down her spine. What was she thinking?

She was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t notice Sonny approaching until he was standing beside her.

“Sonny.” She nearly gasped, her heart lurching in surprise.

Sonny chuckled at her reaction and raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on his face.

"Whoa, easy there. You almost jumped out of your skin." he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry, you scared me.” She sighed. “Are you ready to go?” She gestured toward the SVU car they had taken.

Sonny nodded, and as they headed toward the car, he shot her a sideways glance, curious about what had just transpired upstairs.

He wasn’t a detective for nothing, and he could sense that there was more to the story. Something was off, especially given her demeanor and the flushed look on her face.

She slid into the passenger seat, feeling a bit less shaky now that she had a few minutes to calm down. Her mind was still reeling, but she didn’t feel like she was going to pass out anymore.

Sonny walked around the car and got behind the wheel, his gaze flickering to her every now and then. As they started driving, he decided to go for it and ask the question that had been on his mind since he walked in on his partner and the Counselor.

"So, what was that all about? You left his office looking like you’d seen a ghost." He said.

She took a subtle deep breath, trying to center herself for a round of questioning that was no doubt coming.

“It was nothing really,” She responded as coolly as possible. “I’m just tired, I think. I just needed a second to gather myself.”

Sonny gave her a skeptical look, her response only adding to his suspicion. She was obviously trying to brush it off, but he was not convinced.

"Come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday," he said, his tone laced with mild irritation. "Something happened up there."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” She said, reaching for her phone that vibrated in her pocket.

As she checked her phone, Sonny gave her a knowing look. He could sense that she was dodging the question, and it only fueled his suspicion further.

"Oh, really? Then why won’t you look me in the eye?" he asked, his voice a bit challenging now. "Who’s sending you text messages, huh? The Counselor?”

Her heart dropped, because despite the fact that Sonny’s question was a joke — he was right. She stared at the text message that had just come in from Rafael.

A sly smile crept onto Sonny's face as he spotted the change in her expression, a clear indication that he hit a sore spot.

"Bingo," he said, his tone dripping with smugness. "That’s what I thought. What did he say?"

Sonny glanced at her, his curiosity piqued. He could tell she was reading a text message, but he couldn’t see what it said.

"So, are you planning to share that text with me, or are you just going to keep me in suspense?" he said, his voice filled with playful annoyance.

She didn't even really mean to, but she read the text out loud for herself and Sonny to hear.

Call me when you can. Please.

Sonny raised an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his face. He couldn’t help but feel a little amused by the situation.

"‘Please?’" he repeated, a hint of mockery in his voice. "Sounds like the counselor is desperate to talk to you."

Sonny had her cornered, and she knew it. There was no getting anything past Sonny, especially since they worked so closely every single day.

“Sonny..." She whined, knowing he was more on to her than she realized.

Sonny chuckled at her response, thoroughly enjoying the teasing. He knew he had her now.

"Come on," he said, feigning innocence. "Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other when you think no one’s watching."

“Now I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” She huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sonny took his eyes off the road for a moment to shoot her a sidelong glance, a knowing smile on his lips.

"Oh, please. You really think you’re discreet?" he said. "The tension between you two is so thick, a blind man could see it."

She rubbed her eyes stressfully, unsure of how to respond to Sonny, and even more unsure of how to proceed with Rafael. Seeing her stressed out, Sonny’s playful tone softened slightly. While he enjoyed teasing her, he could see that the situation was weighing on her.

"Hey, relax," he said, throwing her a gentle smile. "It’s just me, alright? You can talk to me, you know?"

“No, I can’t…” She sighed. “Not about this.”

Sonny’s smile faded slightly at her response. He could tell that whatever had happened in Rafael’s office was more serious than he initially thought. It wasn’t just some harmless flirtation between her and the district attorney. He cleared his throat and spoke with a more serious tone now.

"Why not? Come on. You and I have been friends for a long time, haven’t we? You can trust me."

“I trust you,” She said. “It’s not that, it’s just…complicated.”

Sonny furrowed his brow, his interest piqued even further. The way she said ‘complicated’ made it clear that there was more to this than he initially thought. He knew there was something she was holding back, but he wasn’t going to let it go that easily.

"Complicated, huh? In what way?" he asked, his voice calm but filled with genuine curiosity.

At this point, she knew Sonny wasn’t going to let this go. Sonny could keep a secret better than anyone, so she figured she might as well give it up. She told him the story, leaving out a few graphic details, but she told him enough for him to get the picture.

Sonny listened intently as she spoke, his expression stoic as he absorbed the details of what had transpired between her and Rafael. He didn’t say a word as she recounted the encounter, his gaze steady on the road ahead of them.

When she finished her story, he was silent for a moment, considering everything that had been said. Then, he spoke up, keeping his voice neutral.

"So, let me get this straight. You and the Counselor got hot and heavy in his office, but things got interrupted, and now you don’t know what to do next?"

“That about sums it up,” She sighed again. “If we had gone all the way…I don’t even know. I don’t know where to go from here and I don’t know if I can ever work with him again…”

Sonny exhaled softly, his jaw tensing slightly. He hadn’t been expecting it to be that serious. He could sense the internal struggle she was having and understood her confusion. He knew it wasn’t easy, juggling personal feelings and professional responsibilities.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on," he said, trying to get a grip on the situation. "First of all, it didn’t go that far. Nothing…happened, right?"

“It was close,” She admitted. “But no. Sonny, Olivia will kill me if she finds out. She would flip if she found out I got cozy with the counselor…”

Sonny nodded slowly, processing her words. The fact that she was worried about Olivia’s reaction spoke volumes about how seriously she was taking this. He respected her devotion to the job, and he knew how highly her superiors thought of her.

"Okay, first of all, Olivia’s not going to ‘kill’ you. Besides, this isn’t exactly the first time a relationship has happened between coworkers."

“Yeah, but it’s different. It’s…me. You know how she is with me. I’m the youngest on the squad,” She took a deep breath. “If she knew Rafael made a move on me…”

Sonny could see the weight of the situation pressing heavily on her. He understood her concerns.

"I get that you don’t want to disappoint her," he said in a reassuring tone. "The thing is, this whole thing with Barba…you didn’t exactly pursue him, right? He’s the one who made a move. And as far as I can tell, it sounds like it was completely out of the blue for you."

“It…wasn’t really out of the blue,” She confessed. “I mean, I didn’t go in there expecting what happened but…like you said we’re pretty…flirtatious. And I didn’t push him away.”

Sonny chuckled slightly at her confirmation that she hadn’t exactly shut down whatever had been going on between her and the Counselor. He knew they’d had a spark.

“So, let me get this straight: you and Barba have been flirty with each other for a while, and eventually, things got heated in his office. Is that about right?”

Sonny nodded when she confirmed it, the situation starting to make more sense to him now.

"And now you don’t know what to do because you’re worried about your job, your relationship with Olivia, and whatever might happen next with Barba?”

“Right,” She replied. “It happened so fast…I don’t know how I got here.”

Sonny chuckled softly as he listened to her concerns.

"You got here, because you and Barba have chemistry," he said bluntly. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

“I don’t know what to do about it,” She read the text from Barba again. “How do you even move forward from something like this?”

Sonny shot her a sympathetic glance, understanding her anxiety.

"Hey, it sounds like you’re feeling a bit out of your comfort zone here, and that’s alright." He said reassuringly. "You’re usually more reserved, and this situation’s a bit more intense than you’re used to. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It could mean that something about Barba really does it for you."

“Yeah, I could’ve told you that. I guess I need to respond,” She stared at her phone. "He wants me to call him later. So he will probably reject me and tell me it was a mistake and it never should’ve happened and then things will be awkward and then I’ll have to leave SVU and then I’m back to making traffic stops-“

Sonny reached over and grabbed her arm firmly, stopping her mid-rant. He chuckled slightly at her panicked ramblings.

"Slow down there," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Take a deep breath. You're getting way ahead of yourself."

“Maybe…” A smile appeared on her face without realizing it. “I’ll just…tell him I’ll call him when I can.”

Sonny chuckled along with her, enjoying the lighter tone of the conversation. He was glad to see that his teasing had lifted her spirits, at least a little bit.

"Hey, you never know," He said with a shrug and a smirk. "Stranger things have happened. Maybe Barba’s completely smitten with you and can’t wait to see you again."

“Alright, alright…” She replied. “One step at a time. Let’s finish this workday.”

Sonny chuckled at her response, sensing her determination to get through the last couple hours of their long workday and not let the situation with Barba consume her. He nodded in agreement.

"You got it," he said, his tone back to business. "I've got your back, no matter what happens next."

___

They returned to the precinct, tying up their loose ends for the day so they could get the day finished. She tried to put Rafael in the back of her mind. She just needed to get through her shift and then go from there. She hoped she would feel better once she and Rafael talked, no matter what the outcome was.

Sonny shot a few glances at her, sensing her attempt to keep her mind off the situation with the Counselor. He knew she was struggling to focus on work when her mind was preoccupied.

As the day came to an end, Sonny casually looked down at his watch and spoke up.

"You know, we're just about done for the day. You…uh…have plans for the rest of the night?"

She gave him a look.

“I’m going to call him as soon as I leave,” She said. “If he’s still at his office, I might swing by.”

Sonny gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, his eyes filled with genuine concern.

"You're gonna handle this, one way or another." he said, his voice firm and steady.

“Okay,” She nodded. “I’ll text you when it’s over.”

Sonny waved her goodbye, and she didn't waste any time getting out of the precinct. She dialed Rafael's number on the way out of the building.

The phone rang a few times before the familiar voice of Rafael Barba answered on the other end.

“Hey.” His tone was calm and composed.

“Counselor.” She greeted as calmly as she could.

There was a hint of surprise and relief in Rafael's voice as he recognized her on the other end of the line. He had been hoping she would call.

"I wasn’t sure if you’d call." He said plainly.

“Of course I did,” She let out a silent sigh. “Are you…still at your office?”

There was a slight pause before Rafael responded, the anticipation heavy in his voice.

"Yes," he replied. "Do you…want to come by?"

Her heart fluttered, there really was no turning back.

“Yeah, I figured I would come by so…we could talk. I can be there in 20 minutes…”

They sorted out the details before the call ended, and she knew this was going to either be a pleasant or brutal talk. She knew she might be losing one of her best friends by the end of the night. She had never felt more unsure, but she couldn't even deny that maybe she was curious to see how this developed...if it developed at all.

Her mind raced as she made her way to Rafael's office. She thought of every possible outcome in this scenario...the best case, the worst case, and everything in between. She felt the knot of anxiety in her stomach getting heavier by the minute. She laid eyes on her destination and knew it was now or ever. She needed to compose herself and pull it together. She wanted to walk out of this situation with him still an important part of her life.

The building was closed down for the night, all the offices dark and closed...except for his. It was now or never. If there was ever a moment where she felt like she was about to seal her fate...it was right now.

She took the elevator to the floor of his office, her brain actively controlling her breathing to be as calm and slow as possible. Her heart was pounding away, and she wasn't sure if it was the nerves or the knowledge of seeing him again after what had happened.

His office door was closed, but a glow of light was shining from behind the closed blinds on his windows and under the door. She gave a light knock on the door, a slow exhale escaping her as she waited for him to answer.

She heard some shuffling from behind the door, knowing he was undoubtedly trying to quickly straighten up his desk before he allowed her inside. A few seconds passed before he opened the door -- his tired eyes meeting hers with the same look of anxiety and curiosity of what was about to happen. There was no turning back now, and they both felt like they were prepared.

But little did they know, their night was about to get far more interesting than they planned for.

—

Part 2 !

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