#and get to go ‘wow I landed that??!!’

[velaris-fic-repository]

What the Tide Brings In (Part 6)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

“This is a bad idea.”

“Oh please, what are they going to do? Kill me?”

Azriel made a noncommittal face, more of an upset feline expression than anything else.

“Come off it. I’ve already seen this gorgeous and peaceful city in the heart of the big, bad Night Court,” you comically emphasized the weight of the previous words before moving on.

“You’re supposed to be the scariest one. And lo and behold, you’re naught but a big softy.” You reached over during the moonlit walk the two of you were taking to boop your finger on the tip of his nose. A wise choice? No, but he didn’t retaliate or move away. Victory.

“I’m not a softy,” Azriel protested, lightly swatting at your hand leaning in for another assault upon his nose.

“Mhmm.”

“I’m not!” His voice got louder in emphasis as his wings extended momentarily, puffing himself up to look broader and more intimidating. Too bad you’ve already seen the heart of him. His childish response didn’t help either.

“Whatever you say, shadowsinger.” You surveyed him then said, more seriously, “Are you sure you’re alright introducing me? We don’t have to if you don’t want.”

You were incredibly interested to meet his family, the quartet you’ve heard so much yet so little about. It truthfully had nothing to do with their stations as leaders of the Night Court. These people were important to Azriel, and you wanted to meet them. But, if he wasn’t ready to share them with you, that was fine.

Unbeknownst to you, it had more to do with Azriel not wanting to share you with them.

He sighed in soft defeat. “No, no. They want to meet you too. Honestly, if we don’t do this now I’m sure they’ll find ways to orchestrate an accidental bumping into you.”

His shadows - who had slowly started seeping into the world until it felt like they’d always been there - shifted on his shoulders, reaching out towards you until one twined around your finger.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” you chuckled, playing with a shadow for a bit until it disappeared with the rest of its ilk.

“Busybodies, the lot of them.”

You snickered, “isn’t being a busybody, your entire job?”

Azriel looked at you, surprising you by snorting back, a small smile unsuccessfully suppressed. The laugh was undignified, boyish. His hazel eyes glittered in a way that twisted your heart.

“Unfortunately,” he sighed wistfully, “they’re going to love you.”

While your magic connected you to the wind and you lived by it on any ship you’ve ever sailed on, you have never been fully at the mercy of it. You always had the waves and current or the ground beneath you as a secondary element.

Sailing was in your blood. A free feeling that you had fought against your fear for and happily had returned to you. There was still a hollow, dread soaked feeling in your stomach when you spent too much time remembering the fateful expedition that brought you to Velaris, but you could step on a deck without fear and finally feel the sea breeze on your face again.

Flying was something else entirely, as you found out. Nothing but air currents whipping around you as you floated high above the glittering jewel that was Velaris.

A soft, “wow,” escaped you as you took it all in. Azriel’s low chuckle was right next to your ear, making it very hard for you to keep your reactions to yourself.

“I thought you would like it.”

“It’s amazing.”

“Better than sailing?” He teased as you felt his wingbeats and momentum start to slow down, the mountain House of Wind coming into view.

“You wish,” you teased back, earning you another laugh as the two of you landed.

You had another comment on the tip of your tongue, stalled by a male voice saying, “Finally, I thought you’d never get here! We’re starving!”

“Welcome,” Azriel quipped, shifting slightly into the quieter version of himself from when you met him. He was still at ease though, if not a little tense in the shoulders. Peaceful, just different, and maybe a touch nervous for this evening for obvious reasons.

You found yourself shocked to notice the little details, knowing exactly what each little piece meant. Then you remembered that golden little thread in your chest, still feeling nothing from the other side. He always seemed a little more relaxed when it was just the two of you.

You really had to stop looking at that. The bond would reveal itself to him in time, if he chose to accept it. His friendship was plenty, you thought. If you were deluding yourself, that was between you and The Cauldron. It’s not like you’ve lost sleep over it or anything. (Sure).

Introductions were easily made as dinner appeared before you all on the table. You had taken the seat next to Azriel, of course, but it was a humorous little race between Mor and Cassian for the other seat beside you. Ultimately, Mor won out, leaving Cassian to sit mildly uncomfortably next to Amren, Rhysand on her other side by Azriel.

“So this is the female we’ve heard so much about” Rhysand teased, a grumble elicited from Azriel.

You smiled though, “A pleasure to meet you all. You have a lovely home and city, if you don’t mind me saying, High Lord.”

“Rhys is fine,” he insisted, “and thank you. Your love of the harbor is very well known.”

“I meant the whole thing, but yes,” you chuckled, “the harbor is my favorite.”

Rhys grinned at you, violet eyes twinkling in that star like quality they seemed to have. “Azriel tells me you used to be a pirate?”

“Yup!” You said, “Hat and everything. Though I did lose the hat somewhere along the way.”

The conversation drifted by easily like this, you answering questions, offering questions of your own. Amren was curious about the finest thing your crew had ever stolen.

“We preferred to think of ourselves as privateers of the people. We didn’t really steal pretty things for ourselves, mostly food, clothes and money for fae who needed them more than those who hoarded them. That being said, we did have a few less than altruistic excursions.”

“Tell us more, please,” Mor said excitedly beside you.

“I think I’ll keep some of those stories to myself. Can’t give all my good ones away at the beginning, right?”

Azriel’s lips twitched up into a smirk, only causing your smile to grow brighter.

“You’re from Summer, you said?” Mor asked.

“Yes.”

“We have an interesting relationship with that court.”

“Please do elaborate,” you snickered.

Mor laughed with you, “Cassian got himself banned for life for knocking down a building in Adriata.”

You stilled, eyes flicking up to Cassian who shifted in his seat.

“That was you?” You asked, eyes still wide.

“…yeah.”

The whole table was silent, fearful, Azriel most of all. You’d never talked about that with him. He’d never thought to ask about it. What if you had people who had lived or worked out of that building. He’s sure it had been rebuilt but obviously it was a significant event if the ban had not been lifted. None of the Inner Circle was really sure what the extent of the damage was as Nostros had not given them a detailed reporting when it happened.

Azriel, not for the first time in knowing you but definitely the most serious case, had absolutely no idea how you would react to this information. All he could do was wait and hope he didn’t have to intervene in the next few heartbeats.

You raised a hand to your mouth, eyes still wide on Cassian and just sat there for a moment. Power thrummed throughout the room, every member present waiting to unleash something if the situation turned south.

But then, they heard a small snort. Followed immediately by a crescendo of laughter, louder and louder until your hand left your mouth and they all saw the blinding smile on your face.

Azriel was bewildered but found a smile on his own face in response to yours, as if your joy was his.

“You’re not… mad or something?” Cassian said tentatively.

“Are you kidding?” You asked between laughs, “That was one of the best weeks of our career!”

“Really?”

You finally tamed your laughter, smile still blinding like the Summer sun. “You have never seen a group of self-righteous nobles turn such a shade of purple! It was amazing!”

Rhys, happy to not have a brawl in his dining room, sent you an amused but authoritative expression. “It was an Inter-court incident.”

You leveled a roguish expression back at him, “No one got hurt! And I raise you, High Lord, as a Summer and Adriata native, those nobles were pricks preying on their people and they deserved whatever money and belongings they lost.”

Azriel snorted while Cassian joined you in your humorous hysterics, the whole table falling back into its easy rhythm from before.

Unsure what prompted it, Azriel reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it once. Oddly, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of it.

You pointed with your other hand at Cassian, “I think you and I are going to be friends.” He grinned, nodding.

“Do you ever miss Summer?” Cassian asked with a smirk, “and you don’t have to kiss our asses about it.”

“The scenery? Yeah. The people? No. I think I’d be hunted down if I went back, they hate me over there. Or at least those I’m charge do.” You paused, looking over at Azriel with a soft smile, “I’ve never felt more welcomed than I’ve been here.”

“Glad to hear our Spymaster has made a new resident feel at home,” Rhys said, clearly a brotherly barb tossed Azriel’s way. In answer, Azriel huffed, but said nothing, rubbing his thumb over your hand.

“Do you mind me asking about your family?” Mor asked. You smiled and shook your head.

“We weren’t really all that close. They didn’t approve of my swashbuckling, wild child behavior and then my chosen career path. So, we hadn’t been in contact for a while.” Mor and you shared a sympathetic look, your familial relationships not the same, but featuring echoes of some of what the other experienced.

You continued, “I suppose, like you guys, I found family other places.”

“In your crew?” Amren prompted.

“Yeah,” you answered and then stopped. For the first time since being here, you thought about them. Really stopped and thought about them. Maybe you had been mentally avoiding the topic to protect yourself, to keep the darkness at the edges of your mind at bay. There had been a lot of distractions to put between yourself and those names, those faces. No such distraction existed now, not when asked directly about them.

Sorley’s strong arms. Aviva’s smile. Auri’s boisterous laugh. Petra’s kind, wise eyes.

All of them battered and lost to the depths. Just you now. All alone.

What did you have that they didn’t? Why were you still here when they didn’t make it? Did you really deserve survival more than them?

Azriel watched your face fall, a darkness he had seen before settling back into you. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles again to soothe you. He looked up, locking eyes with Rhys. There was a surprised and sorrowful look on his face as he looked between you and Azriel. It was all Azriel needed to know that his brother had seen inside your head. It didn’t appear like a fun place to be right now.

Azriel waited for Rhys to share mentally with him what he had seen. He wasn’t asking for the whole story, Az would never want to breach your privacy. But, he’d have been lying if he said he wouldn’t have at least liked a comment from Rhys, to give him an inkling of what you were dealing with. Rhys would never infringe on the privacy of a friend using his abilities, but if someone needed help… But he didn’t.

Rhys swallowed and cleared his throat, breaking you from the treacherous depths of your mind that he had seen. Someone would have to teach you about shielding but that would be a conversation for a different time. No one else could save you from the darkness of your own mind, but he could offer you a distraction at least while you figured it out or worked up the courage to ask for help. You were important to Azriel, that made you important to everyone else at that table.

“Your reputation around the ships really does precede you,” Rhys started.

“Thank you,” you said, returning to yourself.

“Our current Harbormaster is very old, even for us. He’s expressed interest in retiring from his duties. You seem more than qualified for the job, and you have the respect of everyone who’s stepped foot in the port. Not an insignificant feat for only being here a few months.”

You smirked, “What are you suggesting, Rhysand?”

A smile wormed onto Rhys’s face, “How would you feel about taking over as Harbormaster of Velaris.”

“I didn’t realize this was a business meeting,” you joked, “had I known I would have dressed better.”

Azriel, glad at least to see you smiling again, said with a fond eye roll, “no you wouldn’t have. You’re still a pirate in your bones.”

“Damn straight I am! But,” you said, bowing your head slightly in Rhys’s direction, “I promise everything I do will be above board should you put me in this position.”

Rhys smiled, looking down at your hand still held in Azriel’s, “I have no doubt. And if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to let us know.”

“Welcome to the family,” Cassian joked, “Azzie doesn’t make new friends often.”

“Guess I’m special,” you said, theatrically putting on airs to the humor of everyone assembled.

As laughter filtered back into the table, Azriel’s hand did not stray from yours, his attention almost solely on you all evening.

Special indeed, he mused.

I’ve had this done for a minute life just had me forgetting about it, hope you enjoyed! I think there are two or three of these left depending on how I split it up! Let me know what you think and as always if ya wanna join the taglist, just say so!

Series Taglist: @rcarbo1 @shylahstarzz @tele86 @bubybubsters @willowpains @breemitch15 @96jnie @polli05927 @starsidesigh @i-am-infinite @ashjade19 @lilah-asteria

[noiranamnesis]

With each wing, Marinette was finding- rather tragically- that her lemon juice strategy had its limits. It had carried her through the first two rounds with a kind of stubborn grace, but as she bit into the third wing, the heat landed with far more authority. A flicker of spice curled beneath her tongue, snaking it's way down her throat, and her nod, once confident, slowed mid-chew “It's...it has a little kick,” she admitted, voice quite light. Still, she refused to lift her glass of water, even as her fingers tightened around it. Non, si je l'utilise maintenant, ça ne m'aidera pas plus tard.

Sean smiled knowingly. “That’s number three. That’s usually where the doubt sets in.”

“Doubt was already here,” she quipped, squeezing more lemon. “But I ignore her.”

When the topic shifted to security on set, Marinette’s eyes widened in theatrical exasperation, as if to say, there's so much I could say. “You cannot just walk in,” she explained, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “You need permission. A badge. You sign in- always.” Her eyes flicked upward as she translated the phrasing mid thought. “And because it’s...suspense? We film scenes...that are not real scenes. I mean- they are real, but...they do not go in the film.” She offered a shrug. “Even the crew sometimes does not know what is real. It is a little...how you say? Mystery...inside the mystery.”

Sean raised his brows. “That’s a twisty kind of security.”

“Yes,” she smiled. “It’s fun. And also a little…unsettling.”

When he mentioned her audition for Matilda, Marinette’s face lit with quiet surprise. “Oh- wow. I didn’t know anyone knew that.” Leaning in just a touch, she spoke more freely. “I love horror. I like to be afraid...but in a safe way.” She gave a quick, musical laugh. “Usually I watch independent horror films because they do more with less. They take risks. So when I read this script, and saw it was from a big studio, I was curious. I thought: If they are willing to take these risks, I want to see what they will let me do.” Her hands lifted, expressive. “Matilda was...not obvious. She is quiet. Intense. Her reason is not easy to see, and that means as an actress, you get to decide. You fill the blanks. That is very fun. But I auditioned, and very quickly they say, ‘Thank you...but maybe you read for Allison instead?’” She laughed, shaking her head. “It was clear I was not the Matilda they imagined. I did not think I would get Allison either. Too much English. Too much speaking. I thought...okay, they ask, I try. And somehow...here I am.”

Sean grinned. “And the rest was history.”

Marinette smiled, soft and a little shy. “Yes. But- funny story- when I met my partner, I told him I first tried for Matilda. And he looked at me like I was insane.” She laughed under her breath. “He said: You? No. You are Allison. So...everyone knew. Except me.” As she took another bite of the third wing, Sean pivoted to his next question, reference to her history with Olivier.

Nadja, hearing his murmur, cast a sideways glance toward Tylio. “Oh, now you want to talk to me?” she muttered, dryly amused. “It’s a fair question. She’ll be fine.”

Marinette took her time chewing- partly to consider, partly breathe through the sting of spice that lingered. “It doesn’t complicate,” she said finally. “If it was recent, maybe yes. But we separate for more than a year. We are not angry. We just…took different paths.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Now it is like working with a friend. There are boundaries. Sometimes it’s strange. But we are both there for work. We want to do it well.” Her voice softened. “People think...maybe it brings feelings again, but it’s not always like this. Sometimes you are acting and you think, if you were like this character, maybe we are still together. And sometimes…you are like this character. That is why we are not together.” Her laugh was quiet, a bit bittersweet. “You know?”

Sean gave a small nod, then turned his attention back to the table lined with increasingly dangerous-looking wings. “Alright. You’re surviving so far. Shall we see if that luck holds?”

Marinette gave a small, breathless laugh. “I survive,” she agreed. They both reached for the next wing: darker, denser, far more menacing. Ever determined, she squeezed her lemon again with almost ritualistic focus before lifting the wing to her mouth. The heat was immediate- fierce, cruel, spreading across her tongue, painting a faint flush into her cheeks. She coughed once—delicate, almost apologetic. “Ahh…this one is more serious,” she said, tapping her chest to ease the burn. Still, she didn’t drink the water. Pas encore.

Sean smiled, letting the moment settle. Then he tipped his head slightly, voice lowering into a more personal cadence. “So- you have a background in ballet. I don’t think a lot of people know that. Years of training, if I’m right? Do you feel like that discipline, that physical storytelling, bleeds into how you approach acting now?”

“Ah, yes,” she breathed, fanning her face in a futile attempt to cool herself. “Ballet is…very strict. You must know your body. How to show feeling, even if you do not feel it. Even when you must not speak.” She gestured lightly, as if molding something invisible. “The body must believe…or the words are not enough. Ballet teaches you that.” A pause, a shaky inhale. “It teaches you how to be strong without looking strong. How to be fragile...without breaking. And if you fall...you make it look like it was part of the dance.”

“You’re doing great so far,” Sean said. “Speaking of feelings and performances...you’ve mentioned before that you listen to a lot of music when you’re preparing for a role- or just living your life.” He smiled. "So if you had to pick songs that remind you of the most important people in your life right now, what would they be?"

“You’re doing great so far,” Sean said, his tone warm, encouraging her onward. “Speaking of feelings and performances...” He leaned in slightly. “You’ve mentioned before that you listen to a lot of music when you’re preparing for a role- or just living your life.” He gave a small, knowing tilt of his head. “So if you had to pick songs that remind you of the most important people in your life right now...what would they be?”

“Um...” she began, her voice a little scratchy from the spice still burning her throat. “For Nadja,” she said after a beat, “it would be Little Girl Gone. She is my definition of fearless. She does not let anything keep her small.” A breath of laughter escaped her, mischievous and sweet. “Even though she is shorter than me.” Feeling braver, Marinette dared to take another bite of the fourth wing- and instantly regretted it. “Oh no,” she gasped, fanning her face as her eyes began to sting. She gave a few quick, desperate breaths, trying to rally herself. gave a few quick breaths. “It burns the more you move.” Still, she pressed on. “For Tylio, I have...maybe two? Ethereal by Txmy. Maybe Lose Control by Teddy Swims.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a second. “And for Allison, it would be the last beautiful thing i saw is the thing that blinded me. Because that is Allison. Beauty and pain. Together.” Pushing the fourth wing away she found herself staring at the first wing.

Sean smiled, letting the last of Marinette’s words settle. “You’re giving these answers way too beautifully for someone eating molten lava,” he teased, reaching casually for the next wing. “Speaking of beautiful things you share with the world...let’s talk Instagram.”

Marinette gave a small groan, more playful than real, already dreading what was coming. “Ah…Instagram.” She made a face, as if bracing for something worse than the wings.

Sean laughed. “From what I’ve seen, you don’t use it like most celebrities. No sponsorship posts, no polished glamour shots every day. It’s a lot of...life. You dancing around, your friends, cooking-” he grinned, “some very blurry photos of a certain someone we’ll leave unnamed.”

Marinette’s cheeks, already flushed from the heat, turned pinker still. “Ah...yes,” she said with an almost guilty smile. “Maybe...sometimes, after too much limoncello...” she admitted, her English stumbling adorably. “I post without thinking too much. Some stories. Some photos.” She lifted a hand, brushing her hair back in a gesture of shy defense. “It’s like...I want to keep the moments. Not perfect. I think...if I wait too long to post, I want it perfect. But if I post right away...” she shrugged, “it feels more true. And if it is blurry..." she smiled impishly, “it is life.”

Sean laughed. “That’s probably the healthy Instagram philosophy. Ready for the next one?”

Marinette's smile faltered slightly. “Non,” she said simply. Still, determined as ever, she picked up her wing. As always, she squeezed lemon over it and bit. Her eyes flew wide open. She coughed once- then again- her entire body tensing as the fire bloomed across her tongue and throat, far worse than anything before. “Oh mon Dieu-” she gasped, barely managing to swallow before grabbing blindly for her glass of water.

“Is it that bad?” Sean asked, half-laughing, half-sympathetic.

Marinette pressed a napkin to her mouth, coughing again, eyes glassy. “C’est...c’est pas humain!” she wheezed. Without thinking, she turned her head, spotting Tylio just off-camera. “Aide-moi, s'il te plaît...” she managed, her voice cracking from the heat.

Sean's introduction of Marinette, while slightly sensationalized, was actually pretty spot on. There was something disarming about her, something that appealed to almost everyone who interacted with her and that was so strong it even came through in recordings. It was going to come in especially handy today because although she was calm, Tylio could see that she was a bit out of her element. A bit nervous, even, to try the food in front of her. In preparation for this show, Tylio had urged her to start eating spicy food a bit more often but seeing all of the bottles on the table, he wasn't sure it would be enough to pull her through without tearing up. Ça fait partie du spectacle, de toute façon.

Seeing Marinette in this environment was interesting for him. So far, whenever she was on camera he'd mostly seen her playing a role and there was always a moment where she would 'shift' into the moment, blur into character she was playing. But this time, predictably, no such shift took place. There was no script for this, she was just supposed to be authentic. Well, more or less. Miranda had made it clear that there were limits to how real she should be with her answers.

The interview started off quite smoothly. Tylio had never heard of Sean before watching the show but he was good at his job, asking questions in a way that almost felt like he was just chatting with a friend, rather than interviewing a celebrity. But there were signs that he'd most definitely done his research. He mentioned Conques, encouraging her to inform the viewers about how different her life was now compared to when she was growing up and wondering aloud whether she'd had her big Hollywood ego moment yet. Tylio could swear he spotted a hint of surprise on Sean's face when Marinette casually revealed that she still cooked for herself. It was kind of unusual, given her busy schedule. For a moment, he thought Sean was about to ask her about that but no. Despite his friendly demeanor, he was determined to get to the more personal stuff. Tylio rolled his eyes a little bit. Il aurait au moins pu lui demander ce qu’elle aime cuisiner. It irritated him, this slightly vulturous mindset, but it made sense. People were watching not just to hear about the movie she was shooting but also to know more about her personal life.

Sean was asking her about the photos now. He did it in a gentle way, thankfully, focusing mostly on the topic of trying to keep private things private, but Tylio could still see a hint of embarrassment as Marinette went on to explain that she was trying to find a good balance. He was impressed with how well she was doing, her answer was measured and actually sounded pretty close to what Miranda had advised her to say. Until she casually dropped the fact that a simple kiss was what started the whole photo scandal. Well, two kisses.

This time, Tylio was the one who felt momentarily embarrassed. His arms folded, instinctively moving in front of his body. But he immediately pushed it down, giving Mari a reassuring smile when she glanced over to him. There was still something endearing about the fact that she thought it was normal. It wasn't, at least not for him. Not for a while now. He'd been a bachelor for several years before they met and his libido hadn't caused much of an issue for him. She really had no idea how unusual it was for him to get so turned on, just from a kiss. Just from watching her on set, from having her sit in his lap, sometimes even hearing her say his name. Every time he was beginning to suspect that she might be aware of the effect she had on him, she proved to him once again that she did indeed have a blind spot. Nadja looked at him and he tried his best to not look at her, keeping his eyes focused on the interview in front of him.

"Let's try the next one, shall we?", Sean suggested after a pause, sparing Marinette having to doubt her answer for too long. "We actually make this third one, not to be too sponsory", he chuckled, encouraging her to take a bite at the same time as him. "How's that?", Sean asked, and Tylio was beginning to wonder whether this man was simply desensitized to the milder spice levels after doing this show for so long because even though Sean seemed largely unaffected, he could see that it was doing something to Marinette. "So I'm curious, after those pictures were revealed, I can imagine the topic of privacy must have come up a lot. Can you reveal some of the security measures that were put in place behind the scenes of your latest movie, to prevent spoilers or leaks?"

Tylio could feel himself relax a little bit when Sean steered the topic slightly away from their relationship but he knew it might just be a strategy. There were still seven bottles on the table. "So in your latest project you play the lead role of Allison Phelps, a woman who fits the victim profile of a local serial killer. Your showrunner recently said in an interview that you actually auditioned for the part of Matilda, Allison's obsessive roommate. What was it about Matilda's character that gave you such a strong gravitational pull towards the project?"

After questioning Marinette about a few other job related highlights, Sean circled back around: "Your character, Allison, is being stalked by a masked assailant and at the same time being supported by an online detective who becomes obsessed with solving the case. The detective, Keith, is being played by someone you've worked with before in the past, someone you've also been in a romantic relationship with. How does that complicate a performance?" While his eyes were still on Marinette, Tylio leaned to the side, a bit closer to Nadja. Even under his breath, the irritation in his voice was audible: "Is he serious?"

[gustdekarios]

wholesome old man yaoi this toxic old man yaoi that. whatever. you will never get anywhere on this with bloodweave because thats not where they fall on the old man yaoi taxonomy. they are circumstantially toxic and circumstantially wholesome but what they are, 24/7, in every moment, is comic relief. every interaction with astarion hes on his knees begging you to laugh with him, he's evil and cunty and gay and everything he says is surface level, he pinky swears. he has so much bad luck you're beggining to suspect the real reason mirrors put a restraining order on him but he CAN and WILL make light of it all, mostly by playing it up to a comedic level. his misfortune is unmatched but so is his ability to entertain himself. you can tell he was born too early to be an ipad kid and studying law has made him immune to boredom in any way that matters. gale on the other hand is the king of underreaction. you bite his hand off, hes a bit miffed before he vanishes into the void forever. he lovingly comments on the moistnest of his mindflayer partners tentacles. he monologues about the sanctity of a wizards tower and immediately follows it up with but this wizard isnt home so lets take a look. he gets horny in the land of eternal death, misery and decay when youve all been fighting disturbing undead abominations for days. so i solemnly propose a third category, clown old man yaoi. their individual one man comedy routines combine delightfully into a two man comedy play. you have the patron saint of heebie jeebies and the guy who thinks astarion's biggest problem is his lack of manners. gale's the type of guy to tell astarion he can't watch him drain an innocent person, not because of the vampirism or moral qualms but because he thinks the slurping sounds are gross and unnecessary and not for polite company. likewise hes the type of guy to say things like goodness, today was so difficult.... first it was raining which makes my knees ache then i stepped into a puddle and then a dozen of my students accidentally vanished into the shadowfell today and i missed lunch getting them back. and it was my favourite lunch, this is so annoying...... and thats just setting the stage for astarion's overreaction routine. hes counting to 30, hes checking for cameras, hes shaking his shoulders going hey. hey. shadowfell?? SHADOWFELL??? isnt that kind of a big deal??? like genuinely its not about whether they make each other better or worse, its that they both get to prance around thinking theyre the normal, sane person in this relationship while the rest of the group goes wow. what a pair of fucking weirdos, they deserve each other

[liviavanrouge]

Dresses for my Daughter

Livia: *Steps into her father's room, rubbing her arm* Papa...

Jingles: I don't think he's here...

Livia: *Walks over to her father's bed* What's this book...

Jingles: *Floats over, landing on Livia's shoulder*

Livia: *Opens the book, her eyes widening*

Jingles: Livia...aren't those your body measurements...

Livia: Papa....has been making me the dresses Malleus has been bringing me...all this time I thought Malleus has been buying them...these go back all the way to the first day Malleus decided to raise me until I was eleven....

Jingles: Your Dad has been making these for you! Wow!

Livia: *Stares, tears falling down her cheeks* I never knew...

???: Livia! Come Eat!

Livia: *Looks over and closes the book, placing it back on her Father's bed*

Jingles: *Floats after her out of the room, Livia closing the door behind them*

Silver: Finally, you're never late to dinner..

Livia: *Smiles, sitting beside him* Sorry, I got sidetracked...

Malleus: Well you're here now

Livia: *Glances at her father, a small smile on her face* You know, I've been wanting a new dress

Malleus: Really?

Livia: *Beans and nods* Mhmm, a pretty blue dress, with gold markings on the chest part, the markings make out a rose, my favorite flower.

Malleus: *Glances at Lilia, earning a small glance back*

Lilia: I'm full, I'll head back to my room

Livia: *Waves* Night Papa!

Lilia: *Smiles at her and walks away* Blue dress with markings that shape into a rose...her favorite flower...

Lilia: *Pulls fabric from his room drawer and a few other items* Okay lets get started

Lilia: *Glances at a dress in the book, a small smile on his face at the unfinished debutante dress* These dresses will only be for my daughter to wear....for as long as she lives

@queen-of-twisted

[pushovermediacritic]

The Land Before Time Liveblog 5

The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island

Last Time: The Gang had to Find The Cure! for Littlefoot's Grandpa, but they were hunted by a cretaceous crocodile and bird in a Toxic Situationship. Their guide was a new Original Character Do Not Steal named "Ally" (get it? because she started off ignorant but became a progressive ally by the end?) who was Littlefoot's girlfriend and looked just like him but pinker and she had a rivalry with Cera until she saved Cera's life and then they all became friends. Unfortunately, she had to leave due to the Great LiveJournal Purge.

This Time: In contrast to how I hadn't seen 4 before, 5 is the Land Before Time movie I re-watched the most as a kid (even more than 1), so I have a LOT of nostalgia for it (and some fairly clear memories). Let's see if it holds up.

The Universal logo is still not Pangaea.

But there is something different about the logo. It doesn't have the typical jingle and sound effects, the opening music for the movie plays over it.

In movie 5 of this franchise about dinosaurs, it still starts with a 3-minute-long narration introducing the concept of dinosaurs. I make fun of it, but it really is getting repetitive. He's just re-stating the same thing he said last movie, but with different phrasing.

Narrator: "These awesome giants lived together in an unforgiving, often violent Circle of Life, fighting for their share of what food the earth had to offer. And sometimes, becoming a meal themselves. But in one wonderful place, dinosaurs of many kinds had learned to live together in harmony: the Great Valley. Where there was plenty of food for all and peace reigned supreme."

We join The Gang in the midst of competing for the last Tree Star in this tree.

Littlefoot's voice is a lot deeper in this movie, but don't expect that to last; this voice actor only lasts one film. In the whole franchise, Littlefoot has the most voice actors; this film marks the 3rd one (and 4th, he's got a different, much higher singing voice) and he goes through 12 different actors in total! This movie also marks the point where Cera and Ducky change voice actresses (Cera for the first time and Ducky for the second) to the voices they will have for the rest of the franchise. I think Ducky's an upgrade, but Cera's kind of a sidegrade.

I'm not sure WHY they couldn't just stick with one Littlefoot voice actor. They managed to for the rest of the core cast, but for some reason, the Protagonist of the franchise kept changing. Maybe they just couldn't settle on one? For the final 6 movies, he has a different voice actor every single one, and 3 different voices in one of them! So that's gonna be fun when I get to that point.

Anyway, back to the movie. It's Littlefoot's turn to have the first Tree Star, but Cera insists that it being the last one on the tree changes the rules. She thinks it should go to the oldest (wow, very humble Cera, letting Ducky have it), which is her.

Wait a minute, that's not true, Ducky was the first one we saw hatch! And being the oldest is thematically important for Ducky's whole "big sister" role. Speaking of Ducky, she thinks it should go to the "littlelerest", and she and Petrie compete to see who's smaller. Spike gets bored with all the talking and starts headbutting the tree to knock it down. Petrie flies up to pluck it, but he gets rattled by the headbutts and the Tree Star flies away.

The Gang chase the Tree Star as it floats through the air until it floats straight into Mr. Clubtail's mouth and he eats it.

The Gang: "Awwww..."

Mr. Clubtail: "Morning, kids! Nice day for a Tree Star!"

Littlefoot: "Morning Mr. Clubtail. Glad you liked it."

Cera starts insulting Mr. Clubtail and Littlefoot gets mad at her, but then his grandpa shows up to diffuse the situation. Littlefoot complains to him that it was his turn and they ruined it. Grandpa reminds the kids that Mr. Clubtail doesn't often get to enjoy treetop green food, so this made his morning special. Grandpa then reaches up to a nearby tree and shakes a ton of Tree Stars out of it so the kids can all chow down. But then, he sees a cloud in the distance approaching. He assumes they're in for some Skywater, which will be a little scary but help things grow.

But no, it's Swarming Leafgobblers!

AKA locusts. Or an ancient version of locusts. A huge swarm of them fly into the Valley and skeletonize all the plants. They REALLY play up the drama and horror of the scene, to a frankly absurd degree. Spike hides behind a bush and they skeletonize the bush, exposing him. Littlefoot screams in terror and runs to hide in a log. Petrie gets caught in the swarm while flying away and crashes into a tree. They don't actually hurt anyone, they're just played up as super scary, with horror movie stings and dramatic zoom-ins on them chewing on leaves.

Then, just as suddenly as they arrived, the Leafgobblers leave, with all the green food in the Valley gone.

That night, the adults gather for a meeting.

Littlefoot's grandpa: "When the Bright Circle rose today, the Great Valley was a paradise! And now, the Great Night Circle looks down on a wasteland. I'm afraid it could be a long time before there's enough green food in our beloved valley to sustain us."

Cera's dad: "Much as I hate to agree with a Longneck, I must admit that he's right. There's nothing left to eat."

Oh, come on, I thought you were past this in 3! I guess his racism isn't entirely gone.

Also, what is this, the third famine we've seen? At least they all have different causes, this one in 5 was a swarm of locusts, 3 was a drought, and 1 didn't have an obvious reason. But still, it's getting repetitive, every other movie has "famine" as the inciting incident.

The Gang spy on the meeting from behind a rock. Grandpa proposes they have to leave the Great Valley. The other adults are hesitant, and Ducky's mom points out that leaving will mean dealing with Sharpteeth, making them all scared.

Cera's dad: "Get hold of yourselves! Show some backbone!"

Littlefoot's grandpa: "My friends, we have lived in our Valley so long that we forget. All of us survived in the outside world before coming here. And we can do it again, if we must."

I think this is literally the first time that the events of the first movie have been referenced since the Narrator mentioned they came to the Great Valley at the start of 2.

The Gang discuss what this means for them. Cera says they'll probably join herds of their own kind. Ducky doesn't like it and Petrie insists he won't leave.

Cera: "I don't want to live a bunch of Threehorns, they're too bossy!"

I dunno Cera, I think you might be biased because of a small sample size. Between this and her dad's earlier line, we have now revived the racism theme. It's still going strong, 5 movies in!

Littlefoot's grandpa: "Then we're all agreed. At first light, we leave the Great Valley. Together."

The Gang (relieved): "Together!"

We then see the herds walking over the Great Wall as the narrator talks (hey, he's getting more to do this time! Usually he just does the intro and outro) about their search for another land of plenty.

Narrator: "But though they marched, day after day, they could find no such fertile paradise. Everywhere the Swarming Leafgobblers seemed to have preceded them. And each day they grew hungrier, thirstier, and more discouraged."

Uh, we don't see them eating or drinking ANYTHING in this montage. Remember in movie 3, where they had to ration daily intake of water? Apparently, that wasn't necessary, because dinosaurs can go multiple days without any sustenance whatsoever, according to this film.

The herd happens upon the skeleton of a Duckbill.

Ducky's mom covers her eyes. Littlefoot's grandpa points out that it was coming from ahead of them, meaning there's no food that way and they need to go a different direction.

Cera's dad: "Everyone knows how stupid Duckbills are!"

Ducky's mom: "Humph!"

Cera's dad: "This poor fool probably wandered in circles for days! And that's what'll happen to us if we don't keep going in a straight line!"

The other grown-ups: *murmurs of agreement*

Littlefoot's grandpa: "Still, I think this way would be..."

Cera's dad: "Listen, Longneck! I, for one, am getting fed up with this 'I'm taller, so that makes me better than you' attitude of yours."

Littlefoot takes offense to Cera's dad's words and she defends him. This starts a physical fight between them, for the third time this franchise. The other kids separate them and Cera's dad decides they're splitting up.

WOW, Cera's dad is RACIST in this one. I did not remember him being this bad here. The famine must have reminded him of the last famine, because he backslid HARD.

At night, Ducky and Spike can't sleep, and their mom tells them they're leaving tomorrow morning. Ducky says she'll miss her friends and she starts crying. Petrie walks up and whispers to come because Littlefoot has a plan. So far, I think every single movie has had a scene where The Gang sneak out at night.

The next morning, all the grown-ups wake up to find their kids missing (notably, this film remembers that Ducky and Petrie have multiple siblings, which is good, though it forgets that Cera should, too).

Meanwhile, The Gang are stomping their way through the desert to leave clear tracks for the adults to follow.

I like that Ducky isn't heavy enough, so Petrie has to lift her up and then fall down with her to make marks. The Gang happen upon a line of Sharptooth tracks, and Ducky tries to run back to the adults. Littlefoot stands in her way, insisting that them finding food is the only way to keep the herds together. Spike interrupts by sniffing, he smells something in the air. The other kids sniff to, realizing they're smelling water. They run toward the smell, climbing over a hill, eager to bring the good news back to their parents and be heroes. They crest the hill to find...

Water. No green food, but a LOT of water.

The kids happily run in to drink up. And then they immediately surface, coughing and hacking and spitting, because this is their first time encountering saltwater. The kids despair. The adults will catch up because of their tracks, and then they'll be right back where they started with no food or water. But one of them isn't despairing. Ducky scolds Spike for not being sad like the rest of them, until she notices what he's looking at.

You can always count on Spike to find food and water. He's good at that. The kids walk to the island via the thin land bridge, which is way longer than it seemed and the kids are quickly exhausted.

Ducky: "I am so hungry, my tummy is rumbling."

Petrie: "Ooh, Petrie hear it!"

Ducky: "That is not my tummy... That is a... Earthshake!"

Seemingly just for dramatic effect, the Earthshake makes the water turn purple and foam yellow.

This is the kind of weird color work we saw a lot in movie 1, but has been mostly absent for all the sequels so far. I like it. The kids frantically run across the landbridge as a massive wave forms. They reach the island and climb the cliff, but Spike gets stuck. Littlefoot hangs his tail down and Spike pulls himself up on it just before the wave crashes into the wall. With the Earthshake over, the water returns to being blue.

The kids realize they've made it to the island and run forward into the forest, cheering for green food. But the green food here is different.

Cera: "What is all this stuff? Doesn't look like any green food I've ever seen!"

Ducky: *sniff* "Smells icky."

Petrie: "Look funny."

Littlefoot: *lick* "Tastes sorta strange."

None of the kids want to be the first to try it, so they ask Spike what he thinks. He's already digging in, and swallows and licks his beak to indicate it's fine.

The kids start digging in, but Cera spits out her leaf when she realizes something. Littlefoot looks and he sees what she sees, too. The land path is gone.

The adults have followed their footsteps to the end of the line, the water. The tracks seem to go straight into the waves. The, uh, obvious assumption being that the kids drowned.

Littlefoot's grandpa: "Poor Littlefoot..."

Cera's dad: "This is all your fault, Longneck! My daughter is gone and I blame that boy of yours!"

Littlefoot's grandpa: "Littlefoot? Why?"

Cera's dad: "Well- because... eehhmm, because I have to blame somebody, don't I?"

Littlefoot's grandma: "We mustn't lose hope! The moving waters feel cool to the feet, after such a long journey. The children must have stayed in the shallow water and walked on, looking for something to eat."

You know, when I was a kid watching this movie, I did not pick up on that "obvious assumption". I didn't know what to make of "poor Littlefoot", and I thought that Cera's dad was just talking about her running away. But no, they definitely think the kids drowned here, and Cera's dad was mourning her apparent death by lashing out.

The adults decide Grandma is right, and they walk along the shore, looking for the kids. On the island, the kids are yelling out to the adults, but they're too far away to hear. Littlefoot suggests that Petrie fly over, or Ducky swim over to tell the grown-ups where they are. But Petrie and Ducky are too scared to cross, and they explain why with song 1 of this movie: Big Water.

Just to preface this, I could've sung the chorus of this BEFORE watching this movie for the live-blog. That's how much I re-watched this movie as a kid, some of the lyrics in this song (and another one later on) are burned into my brain permanently. So it's hard to stay objective.

That said... I do think this song is good. The genre is swing-jazz. This is the first time the songs have incorporated imagination sequences, and they're REALLY creative and fun! I love the shot where the line-up of bizarre fish fade into The Gang. The subtle comedy that Spike is completely unbothered the whole time. The made-up words for slant rhymes, which are totally shameless and silly. I can't help but love "rearranger-us" as a rhyme to "strangerous" as a rhyme to "dangerous". And then the end of the song reveals that the most absurd and outlandish fish they imagined in the whole song is actually real.

Also, it fits with the overall theme of the movie. The primary theme of this movie goes back to racism, but from a different angle. 4 approached racism from the angle of "diversity is good", while this movie approaches it more from the angle of "the unknown can be scary", and that is be applied to unknown food (the plants they were hesitant to eat earlier), environments, creatures, or people. That's what I think the "fish fading into the kids" shot is supposed to represent. The Gang may be terrified of the unknown of the water, but those weird fish might be just as scared of dinosaurs.

Littlefoot decides that since they're all scared of Big Water, they should all cross together or not at all. Cera gets an idea and the kids together roll a log off the cliff into the water. It hits the water and immediately sinks. Then it comes back up! The kids get on the log and row away, Spike and Littlefoot using their tails while Ducky keeps watch and Petrie cowers.

Cera's at the back of the log, trying not to throw up from seasickness.

Spike gets hungry and starts climbing one of the branches to eat the leaves, which causes the log to rotate and dunk Petrie into the water. While underwater, Petrie spots a shark!

He jumps out and tells Cera about the "Sharptooth that swims", but then the shark hits the log and Cera goes flying off. It surfaces under her and she sees its teeth! She jumps off and barely manages to swim to the log before the shark jumps at her. The kids frantically paddle away, but not fast enough. The shark catches up and takes a bite out of the log, just barely missing Petrie!

The kids keep paddling and crash the log on a rock, launching them off and landing on a beach. Littlefoot spits out some sand.

Littlefoot: "We made it!"

In front of them is a forest.

Littlefoot: *sigh* "Back to where we started. Well, at least we're safe from the swimming Sharptooth."

*a growl in the distance*

Cera: "Yeah, I'd much rather be eaten by the kind that walks!"

That night, Littlefoot's grandpa is giving up hope of ever seeing their grandson again. Grandma keeps up hope, but she sheds tears.

The kids are trying to sleep, mostly in the open but surrounded by rocks. However, they keep jumping at shadows of trees and rocks that look like Sharpteeth. Ducky misses her mom, and she starts singing song 2 of the movie, Always There.

This is the one song in this movie I don't have a great memory of. Ducky's verse is very sweet, especially her interacting with Spike. This is what I meant by "Ducky's new voice actress is an upgrade", she doesn't quite capture the spirit of the character from the first movie, but she creates a good new version of Ducky instead of poorly imitating the first one like the second was. I like the metaphorical rain in Cera's verse, only there for one shot but it works. I think as a kid I thought it was an animation error.

I legit got chills at Littlefoot's verse. He doesn't specify who he's talking about, but the subtext is clear that he's not referring to Grandma. He's talking about his mom. He's basically paraphrasing her final words, that she'll always be with him. That's powerful. And it's another thing that completely went over my head as a kid. This is the first time she's been referenced at all since the first movie.

I was just about to point out how the sentiment in this song (their parents being always there) is ruined a little by the fact that the kids have slept nights without their parents in both movies 1 and 4, but the decision to tie the message of the song into Littlefoot's mom's words that she'll always be with him metaphorically completely changes the subtext of the song and fixes that complaint. And then tying the message of the song to the Great Valley is the cherry on top.

Now, my only complaints about the song is that the chorus is a little high-pitched and shrill, and that Petrie doesn't get a verse singing about his mom, making the song a little too short. This song is still great, and I was really taken aback by how much I liked this one.

The next morning, The Gang wake up to a gnashing of teeth and the huge shadow of a Sharptooth. They scream and take off running, hearing the Sharptooth in hot pursuit. The kids reach a rock wall and freeze, closing their eyes and shivering in terror as the Sharptooth slowly approaches them.

CHOMPER'S BACK!

If you remembered movie 2, you might have been able to predict this, since he did the "shadow to make himself look huge" trick multiple times there.

Or if you just looked at the boxart of the VHS before putting it in, since it spoils Chomper's appearance right there:

Either way, Chomper's back! And he can talk now!

Littlefoot: *nuzzles Chomper* "It's nice to see a familiar face! You live here?"

Chomper: "Yup! Me and my mommy and my daddy!"

Cera: "His mommy and daddy?!"

Ducky: "Did not we meet them once before?"

Spike: "Uh-huh." *Spike roars, in a shockingly good impersonation*

Petrie: "Me remember them..."

Yeah, they put up a pretty scary fight trying to get Chomper back.

Chomper offers to show the others around, but Cera's not so sure if she trusts him. He says it's nice to have someone to talk to without roaring. And that there's no much food on this island. They hear some "roaring" in the distance (that is obviously just a pitched-down trumpet), and Chomper says that's just his mom and dad, no big deal. The kids duck and cover.

Chomper: "C'mon, I want you to meet 'em!"

Littlefoot: "No, Chomper, wait! I, uh, don't think that's such a great idea."

Chomper: "Aw, why not? I know they'll like you!"

Cera: "How?! Rare, medium, or well-done?!"

Good joke, but how does Cera even know of the concept of cooking? Chomper gets the memo and tells them to wait there while he talks to his parents. Littlefoot scolds Cera for distrusting Chomper, but she tells him to grow up, "we're not his family, we're his diet!"

Chomper brings his parents over and The Gang hide in a bush. They start roaring back and forth, and Littlefoot wonders what they're saying. Cera dismisses the idea that this is "talking".

Then we get subtitles:

Green Sharptooth: "YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK, CHOMPER! COME TO DINNER."

Chomper: "CAN I BRING SOME FRIENDS WITH ME?"

Green Sharptooth: "SURE WE COULD USE SOME DESSERT!"

*Chomper is shocked*

Green Sharptooth: *sniff* "HEY, WHAT'S THAT?"

Yellow Sharptooth: *sniff* "SMELLS LIKE... LONG NECK!"

Chomper: "THAT WAS ME! I, UH, I BURPED! I HAD LONG NECK FOR BREAKFAST."

Yellow Sharptooth: "COME ALONG NOW, SON!"

Chomper: "BE THERE IN A MINUTE"

Chomper's parents leave. The other kids come out of the bush and Chomper admits they're not safe.

Chomper: "You've gotta be more careful. My dad smelled you."

Petrie: "Us, smell bad?"

Chomper: "Noooo, they uh... think you smell good."

Petrie: "Ooh, that even worser!"

So, the green one is Chomper's dad, meaning the yellow one is Chomper's mom. Also, the dad probably smelled Littlefoot because of that nuzzle he gave Chomper earlier. Chomper insists they'll be okay, he's got a place in mind where they can hide and never be found.

Chomper: "It's a good thing my folks are the only big Sharpteeth around here."

Chomper leads The Gang away, but the camera lingers, holding on the wide shot. We hear crashing noises, and then another Sharptooth emerges from the forest!

I... don't remember this Sharptooth AT ALL. Weird. Between the ridges on its back and light green color, it's definitely new. He sniffs around and bites up the bush they were just hiding in, then keeps searching.

Chomper tells them not to get lost, and so of course, someone immediately gets lost. That's how this always works. Ducky strays from the path and falls down a ravine. She's rescued by a Flier, but the Flier's sharp teeth makes her nervous.

Chomper leads the kids to a different part of that same ravine, with a tree spanning it. He walks across and tells them to. Littlefoot walks across fine.

Cera (walking): "Uhh, ehh, Iiiii, I won't look down. I won't look down, I won't look down, I won't look down."

Petrie: *swooping at her face* "Bee-beep!"

Cera: "AAAHHHH!" *she flinches and looks down*

Petrie: *flying below the log* "Hahaha! Me make you looook!"

Now filled with anger at Petrie instead of fear, Cera marches across the log without further incident. That was mean, but funny.

Spike just struts across confidently. That's when Littlefoot realizes Ducky is missing. Cera accuses Chomper of eating her when they weren't looking, which, like, that doesn't even make sense! He was at the front of the group and they were all looking at him, while she was at the back! That's how she got separated!

The Sharptooth Flier takes Ducky to its nest full of Sharptooth Flier babies, snapping at her.

Okay, I've been kinda avoiding mentioning this, but Petrie should be a carnivore. Specifically a piscivore, a fish-eater. Real-like Pteranodons had a diet primarily made of fish, not berries and leaves like Petrie has been depicted eating. I kinda brushed it off in the first movie because that came out in 1988 and science marches on, but now we have a clear example of a carnivorous Flier (not counting Ichy last movie, he was an early bird, not a winged reptile).

In fact, there weren't any herbivorous pterosaurs. A few were omnivorous, but most were piscivores, insectivores, or terrestrial predators. None could survive on a diet entirely of berries and leaves. Petrie should eat fish. But the writers decided that because he lacked teeth, he's obviously not a "Sharptooth".

Anyway, Ducky manages to dodge the Sharptooth Flier babies and one of them bites the parent's foot, who accidentally kicks Ducky out of the nest in surprise. Ducky falls quite a ways until she lands right on top of Littlefoot. Cera sheepishly apologizes for accusing Chomper, and he brushes it off.

Chomper leads the kids to the safe place, a field of tulips that smell terrible. Here, they won't be sniffed out. The kids enter, and Petrie compares the stench to a herd of Clubtails on a hot day (little racist, especially since this movie started with Mr. Clubtail enjoying a Tree Star). Spike promptly eats one and gets bad breath. Chomper offers to get them some food, and they all demand their favorites:

Cera: "I like flowers, especially yellow ones!"

Petrie: "Me want berries, lots and lots of berries!"

Ducky: "I like the tall grass with the big leaf, yup-yup-yup!"

Littlefoot: "You- you think you could find any Tree Stars around here?"

The Gang all agree with Littlefoot that Tree Stars are great, but Chomper isn't exactly sure what any of that is. He'll look, though, he loves having Friends For Dinner (song 3 of the movie).

It's kind of a Caribbean tune. This is the other song I had a really good memory of. In hindsight, it's not as good as I remember it.

It's decent, some of the wordplay is fun (I like Ducky's line referencing One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater), and it fits REALLY well into the central theme of "fear of the unknown" causing racism. In this case, the "unknown" is Chomper's intentions. Cera is convinced Chomper intends to eat them eventually (she remembers when he bit her at the end of You're One of Us Now), and she gets the others all hopped up on the idea. Littlefoot tries to keep faith, but the others are having too much fun teasing each other. It even ends with them bursting out into laughter.

Meanwhile, Chomper is being a very good and diligent friend, gathering up leaves, berries, and fruit because he genuinely wants to feed his friends. He's not being bad, he's not scheming to eat them like they're saying.

And I really love the part where his parents look in and his dad says "sometimes I worry about that boy", that moment is hilarious and really telling. Because yeah, Chomper's kind of a weirdo. They haven't really addressed it, but he knows how to talk. How? He somehow learned the Leaf-Eater language on his own, after leaving the Great Valley. Not from his parents. Did he learn it through memory of when The Gang talked to him as a baby?

But the song doubles, triples, and quadruples down on my earlier question of how Cera knows what cooking is, which just raises further questions. And it's also kinda shallow and one-note. It has few jokes, and it just repeats them over and over. Overall, I think it's good, but not great.

After the song, Chomper returns with the food and The Gang are elated to see the pile he's gathered. They eat up and Petrie invents the concept of seasoning.

Juuuust a dash of stinky.

Littlefoot explains the situation to Chomper, how they got stranded and now want to get home.

Chomper: "I don't want you to go. Stay here. I'll take care of you, like you took care of me."

Chomper, it wasn't a good idea when they did it, and it's not a good idea now.

Littlefoot turns him down gently and waves his leg, offering a bite of their food. Chomper hesitates, and Cera yells at Littlefoot to watch out. Littlefoot jerks his leg away and Chomper looks offended before excusing himself. Cera, Petrie, and Ducky insist that Chomper, as a Sharptooth, might want to eat them eventually. Even Spike agrees with an "Uh-huh".

Littlefoot: "Yeah, well, I don't think so. He's helped us a lot. And we hurt his feelings."

*Littlefoot runs after Chomper*

Cera: "He doesn't have feelings! He's a Sharptooth!"

Wow.

Then Spike eats the last Tree Star.

When Littlefoot catches up to Chomper, he's crying (this would be the second time Cera's made Chomper cry). Littlefoot tries to apologize, but then Chomper's mom shows up right behind him! She growls something to Chomper and nuzzles him, then walks away. Apparently, she told Chomper to stop playing with his food. The two laugh over that.

Chomper: "Don't worry Littlefoot. You are what you are, and I am what I am. We can't change it, but we can still be friends, can't we?"

Chomper hears some roaring and he goes back to his parents. Littlefoot realizes that someone probably ate the last Tree Star. He returns and the others are terrified. Littlefoot's gonna be mad if he finds out they ate it!

But no, they're actually terrified of the new Sharptooth, standing right behind him! They hide in the flowers, but the Sharptooth rips the flowers out, exposing them.

The Gang run away, back across the log. It falls and the Sharptooth reaches the ledge. The kids all tease them before they just jump across the ravine and the chase continues.

Chomper hears gnashing in the distance and he wonders who that is. He then hears screaming and runs to help. The Gang hides under a big rock, but the Sharptooth just flips it.

They keep running and reach the cliff with the Big Water at the bottom, and the Swimming Sharptooth fin visible. When the Sharptooth backs the kids against the cliff, Chomper bites their tail. They try to shake him off, but Cera defends Chomper, charging in to hit their heel.

Chomper lets go to trick them into biting their own tail, which actually sheds a few tears. They turn back toward The Gang, but then Chomper's parents show up to defend their kid!

The new Sharptooth headbutts Chomper's dad in the chin, but he bites their chest. They slash his head with their claws, drawing blood for the first time in... geez, I dunno how long it's been since we've seen blood in this franchise. A long time.

Chomper's dad lets go and they headbutt his chin again. Chomper's mom then squares up and they start circling around each other, roaring and growling. They slash at Chomper's mom with their leg claws, drawing blood a second time.

Then while she's wailing in pain, they knock her away with a tail-strike to the jaw (doing more damage because of those back ridges). Chomper's mom hits the ground.

The Sharptooth closes in on her, but then Chomper's dad comes back and hits them with a powerful tail-strike to the face, launching them toward the cliff. The Gang scatter, but Chomper gets hit by their tail and pulled down into the Big Water.

Chomper and the Sharptooth surface, and Chomper's mom roars in distress. Littlefoot jumps down the cliff into the water as the Sharptooth bites down. Littlefoot surfaces with Chomper holding his neck, and the tide pulls the Sharptooth away. Then the Swimming Sharptooth fin approaches them. It circles them a bit before surfacing, and it's not the shark!

It's a friendly old Plesiosaur lady, offering them a ride. This one's a lot friendlier than the one we saw last movie chasing off Dil. Everyone is happy they're safe. Cera even accidentally hugs Chomper's mom's foot. She leans down and gives Cera a little grin, and Cera resumes hugging her and cheering.

The Elasmosaurus returns them to land and Ducky's a little star-struck at seeing such a big Swimmer. She introduces herself as Elsie.

Chomper returns to his parents and Chomper's dad roars to cheer. The Gang looks alarmed, and we get more subtitles.

Chomper's mom: "DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE SAFE WITH US."

Chomper: "She says 'you're safe with them'."

Chomper's dad: *sniffing Spike* "ANYTHING THAT SMELLS LIKE THAT COULDN'T TASTE VERY GOOD ANYWAY."

Littlefoot: "What'd he say?"

Chomper: "He, uh, he says 'yeah, same goes for him'."

Hah! Spike eating one of the flowers paid off! Chomper's mom leans down to nuzzle Littlefoot, and he awkwardly responds "you're welcome".

Cera: "You were right. Chomper and his folks may be different from us, but they're a family, just like our families."

Petrie: "'Cept our families not eat us."

Littlefoot, crestfallen, notes they won't see their families again. Elsie offers to help them with that, noting that she saw some herds yesterday. They climb on her head and then Chomper and the kids say their goodbyes, and they all will always be friends.

On their way back, Elsie makes small talk.

Elsie: "So there I was, just cruising along, minding my business, when I spotted this very distinguished old Longneck on the beach. Quite surprised, I was!

Littlefoot: "That's my grandpa!"

Elsie: "Is he now? So that's where you get your good looks!"

*Ducky and Petrie giggle*

Elsie: "Oh, I was right taken with him, I was. If only he had flippers, we'd make quite a pair, swimming about in the sea."

Cera (seasick): "Uuuuhh, I hate the sea."

Elsie: "Do you dearie? Now, that's a shame. Because it's quite the loveliest place to live."

Losing my mind at Elsie talking about how hot Grandpa is. I just said last movie that Cera makes the subtextual love triangle with Littlefoot and Ali weird and gross, and here Elsie is, openly chatting about her crush on a committed man who isn't even in the same category of life as her, TO HIS GRANDSON. I don't remember this exchange as a kid, but wow, this is weird.

Back with the adults, apparently they (off-screen) found a green place to eat just a bit further along the shore.

Cera's dad comments that all this food is pointless without their kids, and Littlefoot's grandpa agrees. Grandma insists the children will find them.

Cera's dad: "What do ya expect them to do? Rise up outta the ocean?"

Littlefoot's grandpa: "... that's... heh, that's exactly what they're going to do!"

He sees them arriving on Elsie in the distance, and the kids yell for their respective guardians. Cera's dad saying her name here is probably the happiest I've ever heard him. Elsie deposits them on the ground, and Cera kisses the dirt. The kids re-unite with their parents and thank Elsie as she leaves.

Elsie: "Toodle-oo! I'll stop by soon for a chat, shall I? Ta-taaa!"

Yeah, that's not happening again. According to Wikipedia, Elsie never returns. Shame, I like her. She's this weird, friendly but very forward old woman. The writers really need to stop promising things they have no plans to follow up on. Chomper will return, though not for a long while.

The kids apologize for leaving, and grandma mentions that if they weren't looking for the kids, they wouldn't have found this place. It has enough food for everyone, at least until the Great Valley regrows. They can stay together. The kids go play in the water.

Later, the Great Valley regrows until it's lush again, and the herd returns there.

Well, the movie held up to my memory. Hell, with few exceptions, I'd actually say it holds up BETTER than I remember it! There were multiple points where I was thinking "wow, this interesting subtext went over my head as a kid" or "wow, I forgot about this good scene".

This movie is written by John Loy who co-wrote 2, while 3 and 4 were written by Dev Ross, another co-writer of 2. Based on this film, I like John's writing more than Dev's, it's much more naturalistic and witty. However, the story does feel much more like a direct follow-up to 2 than anything to do with 3 or 4. A lot of characters, particularly Cera and her dad, feel like they backslid in character development. That does give the movie a nice edge, but it comes at the cost of continuity. Like, a lot of elements here feel like they're remaking movie 3, what with the famine, in-fighting, and sniffing out water.

The background music is used a lot better here. It's more suited to the scenes and much better timed to the emotional beats.

The core theme of the movie is "fear of the unknown", and like 3 and 4, it folds "racism bad" into that theme. I'm glad it finally addresses the lingering racism from 2. It had a nice moment with Chomper re-uniting with his parents, but that was a twist at the very end, The Gang didn't really have time to process and come to terms with it.

Elsie is also a good example of the theme, they were so scared of the Big Water they didn't even consider there might be a potential friend living in it (also despite the animation giving Elsie flat teeth, she SHOULD also be a Sharptooth, just a friendly one).

Chomper's return is great, he gets a lot more characterization here than in 2 as a sweet and thoughtful, but lonely boy.

Still, it has the same pacing problem as the other sequels. They keep having a slow first half, then at the halfway point, a major new element is introduced that suddenly kicks the story into gear. In 2, it was Chomper's hatch. In 3, it was finding the water and the wildfire. In 4, it was the introduction of Ichy and Dil. And in 5, it's Chomper's re-introduction. Why do they keep doing this? It makes the first half drag and the second half rush.

It's like if Littlefoot's mom died and the kids got separated at the halfway point of 1 (which actually happens at the 1/4th mark, the halfway point is Cera re-uniting with the group and telling them that Sharptooth is still alive). Still, that pacing issue isn't nearly as bad here as in 2, 3, or especially 4, the first half is quite entertaining.

There are frequent minor animation errors, like Chomper's parents switching colors multiple times when they're introduced, berries changing colors, or the bloody claw swipes on Chomper's parents disappearing in the middle of the big fight.

Speaking of that Sharptooth fight, it's short but shockingly violent and intense. We see blood for the first time since 1. That said, aside from the one time they shed a tear biting their own tail, the Sharptooth villain is pretty flat. And it's weird that they managed to go however long they've been here without Chomper or his parents noticing them.

Pros: The writing is the most naturalistic and witty it's ever been. The background music is better. All 3 songs are good-to-great, and Littlefoot referencing his mom GOT ME. The fight at the end is sick. Elsie makes the most of her short screentime. The thematic writing is some of the strongest so far.

Cons: The artstyle has begun getting smoothed out. There are frequent animation errors. It has slight pacing issues with the first half. It feels disconnected from movies 3 and 4 in terms of continuity. The reaction to the Leafgobblers is a bit silly.

Score: I expect accusations of bias, but I'm giving this one a 9/10. I think this movie is genuinely fantastic with very few notable flaws. It's like if 2 had even better writing and pacing and didn't have the Struthiomimus brothers dragging it down. The only reason it's not getting a 10/10 is because it does have notable flaws.

The Land Before Time: 8/10 (hypothetical uncut version: 9/10)

The Great Valley Adventure: 8/10

The Time of the Great Giving: 7/10

Journey Through The Mists: 7/10

The Mysterious Island: 9/10

[clockworkreapers]

Hey Hey Hey- I can show my contribution to the 2025 HS fan calendar! I did the art for February and got to work on it with a ton of really amazing artists- if you'd like to see everyone's work and keep this going be sure to get yours here! https://hsfancalendar.carrd.co/

[geniemillies]

gonna start prythian fashion pieces where i draw court royalty in very nice very whimsical very traditional fae attire befitting their court bc fashion design is my passion

[blackbatofel]

SuperBat but they're 2 complete strangers stuck sitting next to each other on a 16-hour long flight ✈️

This is a really fun idea! I imagine it would go similarly to what we see in Superman/Batman annual 1, which is, of course, the precious annual that gave us the wonderful "there's only one bed" situation.

But back to why I think it would be similar. The thing is, if they're forced to share space for so long while they're still strangers, I'm sure they wouldn't stand each other in the beginning. In this annual they only share a room (and a bed he he) for a few hours because of a booking mistake, but that's enough to have Brucie Wayne and Clark Kent throwing pointed comments at each other and bantering like they're the worst of rivals (and they don't even know they're Batman and Superman yet!!)

So yeah, those first hours of the flight would be... interesting, to say the least. But of course, they would eventually come to (reluctantly) enjoy each other's company. I believe that in the course of those 16 hours they would end up showing more of who they truly are and, well, things would go from there. By the end of the flight Bruce would for sure find himself infatuated with the smart and stronger than it seems reporter from Kansas who refuses to take any of Brucie's shit, and Clark would realize that this rich boy from Gotham isn't as bad as he tries to appear.

After all, the annual ends like this, so I don't see a 16-hour long flight ending any different:

[presiding]

you'll never guess which level we're up to in this dishonored 2 rewrite

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Full Tech Day One pic today from kiko laureano (denizen of skid row / ensemble) & video (that's four seconds of "ya never know" playing over the static image) from & ft. marcia milgrom dodge (director / choreographer) double captioning "there might be puppets in this musical ;)" & "Well Shake my hand! Come see LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS @guthrietheater featuring @actually_will_roland's hand!"

[mushroompollution]

gonna b real w you all I do not understand how Pandora couldn't find that sealing stone

[theinfinitedivides]

I SAID IT BEFORE BUT I MEAN IT NOW. GIVE THIS MAN HIS F*CKING BAEKSANG ISTG HE ATE THAT SH*T AND LEFT NO F*CKING CRUMBS

[assmundr]

"Because we all know that a woman is not a woman until pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood/rape/infertility/other uterus related topics, is an integral part of her story" lol preach

If I had a penny for every time I encountered this in a story, I would have enough money to be able to quit my job and fully focus on the second part of the Asmundr/Home review lmao

Little tangent under the cut

I am honestly so tired of this still being an issue in the year of our Lord, 2025. It's even worse then the writer/artist are attempting to portray something "progressive" through their writing, but still somehow end up doing this.

Like, Andy Weird for an example. I loved The Martian and Project Hail Mary is honestly one of my the most favourite books I have ever read (read Project Hail Mary PLEASE I'm begging you I AM BEGGING ON MY KNEES-) but his second released book, Artemis? Atrocious. I have no idea what possessed him after he wrote the deliciousness that is The Martian to then spit out the kind of lukewarm mess Artemis was. I couldn't get past 60 pages, and I only got that far because I loved his two other books and wanted to push through. But I couldn't.

It absolutely is because of the main character, who is a woman (unlike the main characters in The Martian and PHM) and just kinda written as if an alien once did a Google search on what a woman was, spent 20 minutes reading about them on Reddit, then wrote a book about one. Nearly on every page, the reader gets reminded that the main character has boobs and has sex, because it's the most progressive thing ever to say women fuck!!! The MC has "not like other girls" vibe that obnoxiously overtakes over everything else happening in the book itself.

One of the worst books I have ever read, The Spectres, has many issues, but the biggest one gotta be how Every. Single. Female. Character. in it's story is defined by what male character they're currently attracted to. Every. Single. One. No matter who's POV it is, if it's a woman, her internal monologue and their actions will always circle back to the man she's into, completely defining her by her attraction to them instead of, you know, defining her by her personality like a regular person should be. And yes, this book was written by a man, if you were wondering.

It's even funnier when other people call this shit out, but then write it into their stories themselves, either being completely oblivious to it or bending back over backwards to excuse why it's okay if they do it. I once knew a person who heavilly criticised the badly handled sexual assault/rape in Home but then they had their own character raped/taken advantage of MULTIPLE TIMES for the sake of cheaply written drama and also have them have like seventeen miscarriages, too, because we all know the story of a person with a uterus isn't compelling until something like that happens to them. They also had a character they used as a clown and a comic relief in their writing that they were weirdly attracted to, while they were also a rapist (who assaulted several characters. Yes, it includes the previously mentioned one as well) All of this while they called out Home and Kique for misusing these topics for cheap drama/trauma/shock value.

I'm just. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of seeing women and female presenting characters in media that's not even of this niche be written this way. Have rape, assault, pregnancy/birth related trauma thrown in left and right as if those are the traits that define women. I am tired of having to research the media I wanna engage with, whether it's a movie, a game or a book, to figure out if something like this will be a part of it's story. I don't mind at all reading about this, mind you. What I do mind, however, is when it's cheaply used as a sterotypical "female" trauma authors throw into stories so they can then label them as dark or provoking or some other shit. A woman is more than her uterus, a woman is more than a vessle for some cheap drama, and I am getting really tired of seeing this writing so often.

[fellhellion]

Ngl, I’m not entirely sure where the “Miguel and Hobie hate each other” reading comes from, when from their like. One interaction i don’t personally get the impression they think much about each other at all shdhdjfjf

Miguel seems kind of exasperated with Hobie sure, but the tone of that interaction is relatively lighthearted. It’s more of a joke that by virtue of Miguel being a stringent rule follower, Hobie not caring overly much about those rules exasperates him. And Hobie knows it annoys Miguel and thinks that’s funny, thus prodding him again with the “I’m not even here/nah still here” routine. But there doesn’t seem to be like, genuine personal anger on either side. Just an ideological divide that actualises even further when Miles’ very existence provides another answer to the overhanging stakes.

[camgoloud]

that section of the secret history where richard tries out a vermont winter in unsafe housing and turns into a heat scavenger while gradually descending on-page into a hypothermic fugue state except it’s literally just me trying to survive in my office now that they’ve turned the air conditioning on